#and i dont even know if anyone will participate with this one but i know my moots are friendly so im a little less scared that i-
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jokers-new-selfship-blog · 20 days ago
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Status: [Closed, too tired, and I have work tomorrow. :( But I might open it up again if people want, let me know in the comments]
Hey everyoneee
Do you want me to make a small maybe good, maybe bad doodle of your selfship? Well I'm offering!
Mutuals only! Just reblog with your s/i and f/o
Optional: If you have a pose or something in mind, you can describe it or add an additional reference. If not, I will think of something myself :]
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Might take some time to finish, so please be patient!
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marsixm · 9 months ago
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ive actually put myself in so many situations and seem to come out doing socially well, youd think at some point i could get it in my head im not irredeemably bad
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mistninja · 2 months ago
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Feeling very "fitz-core" right now (spiraling)
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arolesbianism · 8 months ago
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Man oni can't do this to me I'm supposed to be preparing for artfight but all I can think abt is Them™ from the second I wake up to the moment I go to bed how am I supposed to prepare in these circumstances 😔
#rat rambles#oni posting#and dude the beta is probably still going to be going during that time klei how could you do this to me#like I will still be participating in artfight but I fear Ill be on oni lockdown for the first week or smth dhskdhkdh#Ill try to at least sketch some stuff out but god if I can get my hands onto any amount of lore its so jover#now thats not a guarantee this is a beta after all but god man. fuck.#also I need to know the new dupes name right now its important#mostly because I want confirmation that I got z on the cypher right lol#chances are theyll just have another a name or smth#who knows maybe theyll have a w name and be the second ever contender for being sent to the constant#although for all we know there could be plenty more w names in the cast that are just hidden in the full names like with nails#I am in such agony rn with seemingly every place ppl post abt oni being dead silent still hello is anyone there#I thought Id at least see some more speculative stuff on the gameplay side of things but Ive seen like 2 things where ppl even bring it up#tbf some of the new stuff seems pretty obvious to deduce to me like there's no way the new fox deers dont produce lumber#and we already know the bunny guys (or the big one at least) provides reed fiber at least#the plants are mostly more mysterious tho#we have the obvious one being our new bestie the oxylite plant and the lil puffball tree thats probably the new decor plant#and the crystal grapes are probably going to be a new muckroot equivalent and at least one of the new plants probably produces smth edible#as for what recourses they need we know that at least 2 of them need watered in some way#Im currently betting theyll need ethanol but thats not based on a lot#honestly if any of them use plain ol water or even any water variants Ill be surprised#I wouldn't be surprised if most of them take ethanol or some liquid gas or smth#I still am holding out on a plant that consumed liquid carbon dioxide but Im not too hopeful#one thing Im very curious on is just everything abt how the oxylite plant grows I wanna know how good itll be so bad#because I am a proud member of the desperately wants more viable oxygen production option in oni gang and I wanna see this baby flourish#but based on how seemingly abundant it is Im afraid itll just join the squad of early game oxygen options that become too much of a hassle#to sustain late game so you're usually just going to switch to exlectroliszers each time#I hope Im wrong but I wont be surprised if Im not#they already took one oxygen plant out back and shot it dead so this guy might just be a corpse on arival if we're unlucky#well hey thats why there's a beta ig gotta make sure things are balanced or whatever
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princekirijo · 2 years ago
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Istg I actually need to sit down and write a proper bio for Riku because even I get confused af as to what his personality is sometimes.
#oc tag#“but prince he's your oc how tf did this happen” he has a mind of his own trust me#i mean this is literally one of the parts of his character he is literally so good at adapting his personality#because he felt he needed to as a kid both in school and in the business world#that barely anyone knows what he's actually like#like one minute he's a suave overconfident guy who can take on anything#but hes also the quiet dude in class who never participates is probably asleep but somehow gets everything right and is top of the grade#he loves to flirt but will absolutely blue screen if anyone flirts back because despite the fact he flaunts himself-#he doesn't think hes attractive LMAO#his biggest motivation is spite and he doesn't know when to quit#this boy has so many fucking issues istg#def one of those characters who has so many masks that he hardly knows himself#i have a fear that he's nearly too complex to the point where he's a confusing character and i personally dont think thats a good thing#so i really hope that's not the case for you guys 😬#over my break ive really spent time trying to iron out his character and just make him into soemthing im even more proud of you know#the good thing is that at least his story now has a clear arc and theme which im really proud of#so im gonna use that to build off and iron him out even more#the way i put more work into this funky dude i came up with than like my entire uni work#i love him so much sorry to be mentally ill about a guy i made because i liked a ship too much (and crossover i was having fun with too)#one day i will have a proper post for him with references and everything for him his outfits his personas the lot#one of these days
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jaeyunnz · 26 days ago
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"Work Break Seduction."
ni-ki + f¡reader — ♡ 18+
WARNINGS — dom!ni-ki, sub¡reader, dirty talk, making out, cussing, rough sex, riki eats out reader, unprotected sex (stay safe dont do it.) pet names.
both characters are of age. (20+) not proofread, sorry if theres any errors. this is quite long but worth the read i promise!
Reader recently went into a new college and grew a school crush on Riki. Though he plays hard to get, your able to break his nonchalant demeanour.
Note : Riki was mostly requested, so enjoy. (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)
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Your parents recently moved to a different town, which meant transferring to a new college. It wasn’t as bad as you expected, though you didn’t really know anyone there—but that was fine. At least your childhood friend, Jess, was with you.
A few weeks passed, and you found yourself constantly drawn to a boy—Riki. Girls flocked to him, yet he always brushed them off or rejected their advances. No one seemed to know much about him. He was distant, only ever seen around small groups. But that only made him more intriguing. The mystery surrounding him pulled you in, making you want to learn more about him.
The problem? He avoided everyone—including you. The only times you ever spoke were during school projects, and even then, the conversations were brief or short talk.
This morning, once again, you found yourself paired with Riki. It didn’t bother you as much, but you could tell he wasn’t thrilled about the idea. “Alright, your partners have been chosen. Get to work, project’s due in two days,” the teacher announced. You scanned the room for Riki, and then your eyes landed on him. He was leaning back in his chair, his posture casual and almost lazy. You knew you had to make the first move and approach him, or he’d likely ignore you the entire time.
You hated that you always had to be the one to approach him—it made you feel almost desperate. Yet, here you were, getting up and walking toward him. He watched as you pulled out your chair and sat down beside him. “Hi,” you said, glancing at him for a brief moment. He responded with a small nod, his usual way of acknowledging you.
You settle into the seat, trying to ignore the awkwardness that always seemed to hang between you two. The silence stretched for a moment, neither of you making any effort to start the project. You glance at him, but he’s already looking at his phone, clearly disinterested. Then, you let out a soft sigh, wishing he’d at least pretend to care. Finally deciding to break the silence. “So, uh… how do you want to split this up?” you ask, trying to sound casual.
He shrugs without looking up. “You can do whatever,” he mutters. You bite back a small frustration. Damn, you knew he wasn’t one for much conversation, but it always felt like pulling teeth to get him to participate. Yet, there was something about his indifference that kept you intrigued, even if it was maddening. “I guess I’ll start with the research,” you say, hoping for a bit more input. He doesn’t respond, but you take that as your cue to begin.
The next hour passes in relative silence, except for the occasional rustling of papers and the tapping of his phone. You focus on your work, trying not to pay attention to how he barely acknowledges your presence. Though you’re starting to get irritated by how you’re doing all the work while he’s just sitting there—eyes glued to his phone, doing nothing at all, you can’t bring yourself to get truly mad. Not when he looks this… handsome.
Should you try to start another conversation, hoping he might actually respond? You really wanted to get to know him better, maybe even get him to show a little interest in you, too. Fuck it, might as well, you really like him. "Prom is coming soon, you going out with anyone?" Thats the first thing that came to mind, it was a bit personal, but your curious. Maybe you can shoot your shot?
He finally lifts his head up from his phone, placing it on the desk and locks eyecontact with you. "Nah. Not interested in that typa stuff." For the first time, he actually seemed engaged, and it left you a little thrown off balance. "Why not?" You say, he gives you a shrug. "Why are you asking anyway?" He raises an eyebrow, your slightly taken by surprise when he asks, trying to make yourself sound less interested. "I'm just trying to conversate with you, I mean your quiet as fuck."
He lets out a deep, small chuckle that sounds rich, causing you to snap your eyes at him. Shit, he's really talking to you? "Yeah, well you could've asked me anything," he taps the desk with his fingertips, "But that was apparently the first thing that came to mind?" He rests his arm over the head of the chair, scanning your body for a moment which causes a small faint redness appear on your cheeks. "A bit bold of you, I'll give you credit for that."
You slightly roll your eyes, "How was that bold? I simply asked if you had a prom date or not." He finally sits up straight in his seat, running his hand through his short black hair which catches your attention. "Really?" He chuckles a bit, looking around the classroom.
You raise your eyebrow in slight confusion before he meets your gaze again, "C'mon now. You don't think i've noticed you staring at me?" Your eyes widen, he leans in closer and suddenly your heart starts to pound unbelievably fast. "Every single time we have a class together, I see you." his cold fingertips trails up your thigh, "Your into me? Aren't you? I mean thats why you asked me such a question." Your body freezes, shivers running down your spine.
How the fuck did he know?
"Thats not..." unable to finish your sentence with his hand making contact with your thigh. "Not true?" He says, his hands creeping down to pull your chair closer to him, the both of your knees brushing against eachother. His eyes dart down to your lips, a teasing smirk appearing on his face. Before you can say anything, the bell rings, interrupting the intense moment.
"We can uhm... finish this project later?" He leans back against his chair, acting totally careless about what just happened between you two. "Meet me at lunch." Is all he says before leaving the room. You know your face is beet red, but you dont even wanna see how you look right now. So then you start putting away the paper work into your bag, packing your stuff as he leaves the room, not looking back at you once. For a moment you just stand in the now empty class with a blank mind, trying to process everything that happened.
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At lunch, you find yourself sitting at a table in the far corner of the cafeteria, just as he asked. Your heart races a little, unsure of what to expect. You glance around, half-expecting him to bail, but then you spot him walking toward you, looking as casual as ever.
"Hey," Riki says, sliding into the seat across from you. His eyes briefly meet yours before he looks down at the table. "Hi," you reply, trying to sound casual even though your nerves are on edge. There’s a moment of silence between you two, the kind that always seemed to stretch on forever. You want to fill it with something, but words feel like they’re just out of reach.
Finally, he speaks again. "So, what’s your deal?" You blink, caught off guard. “What do you mean?” He shrugs, eyes flicking up to meet yours for a split second before looking away again. "Like, why are you always tryna talk to me. You barely know me." His bluntness takes you by surprise, but somehow it doesn’t feel as cold as you thought it would. It’s almost… honest.
You take a deep breath. "I don’t know. You’re just different, you know? It’s hard to ignore." He raises an eyebrow, intrigued. "I'll take that as a compliment I guess."
"I mean yeah, like you’re this whole mystery. I just want to figure you out." For a second, he looks like he’s about to say something, but instead, he leans back in his seat, his gaze lingering on you a little longer. You feel like he’s reading you, and for a moment, you wonder if he’s trying to figure you out too. Then, without warning, he leans forward, closing the space between you. His hand brushes against yours, sending a jolt of electricity through your body.
"Well," he says, voice low, "maybe you’ll find out soon." Before you can process what’s happening, his lips are on yours. It’s sudden, soft at first, but the intensity quickly builds, and everything else fades away. The warmth of his mouth against yours leaves you breathless, and for a moment, everything feels completely different, like this is where you’re supposed to be.
When he pulls away, you’re left dazed, trying to catch your breath. He looks at you, his expression unreadable, but there’s a hint of something—something you can’t quite place. "You okay?" he asks, his voice a little rough. You nod, still in shock, a small smile tugging at your lips. "Yeah. I think I’m more than okay." You bite your lower lip slightly, blushing profusely.
You both sit there for a moment, the air thick with tension and a thousand unspoken words. Your heart is still racing, but now, it's not from nerves. It's from the overwhelming feeling that something has shifted between you two. He doesn't move away, instead, his eyes search yours, almost like he's waiting for something.
Your mind is swirling, but your body seems to take over, leaning in closer, lips barely brushing against his. You can feel the heat radiating off him, his presence pulling you in with a force you can't resist. Without thinking, you kiss him again— this time deeper, more urgent. His hand finds its way to your cheek, his thumb gently grazing the skin as he pulls you in, his other hand sliding to your waist. Your heart hammers in your chest as he kisses you back with a hunger you didn't expect.
It's nothing like the first kiss-this one is raw, a mix of desire and need. You feel his fingers trace the line of your jaw, his touch almost desperate, and it sends a rush of heat through you. Your hands instinctively find his shirt, tugging him closer, as if you can't get enough of him.
His lips move with yours, more demanding now, and you match his intensity, breathless and wanting more. You can't explain it, but everything about him feels right-how he holds you, how his lips mold against yours, like this was always meant to happen. His hand slides down your back, pulling you even closer, and you can feel the heat building between you two. The kiss deepens, and everything else disappears-there's only him, only this moment.
When Riki pulls away, both of you are panting, eyes locked, faces inches apart. "You sure about this?" he asks, his voice husky. You nod, trusting your voice.
You're sure. You want this. You want him.
Without saying another word, he tilts his head toward a washroom near by the cafeteria. Afterall you both can't do anything with people around, so that was the only option. You get up, your heart beating even faster as he follows behind you. He pushes you into one of the stalls, locking it behind you.
He slowly turns around, pushing your back against the wall and his lips are on yours again, and this time, it feels like the beginning of something that neither of you can pull away from. The kiss continues, deepening with each passing second. His hands move, exploring, pulling you closer as if he can't get enough of you either. The way he holds you makes everything else fade into the background-the noise of the cafeteria, the people walking by the washroom, it all feels distant and irrelevant.
You feel his breath against your lips, a slight tremor in his touch as his fingers trace the curve of your back. Your own hands slide into his hair, fingers threading through the strands as you pull him in even closer, wanting more of him. You can taste the faint trace of mint on his breath, and it only makes you crave him more.
Riki slowly pulls away from the kiss, the both of you breathless. Finally his hand slides down your thigh, inching under your skirt. "Can I?" He grunts out as you nod at him almost instantly. "Starting to think you've wanted this for a while now," he chuckles, slipping his hands underneath your skirt and groping your ass, a small moan escaping your lips. "S-shut up will you?" He smirks, his lips trail down, leaving wet kisses down your neck. 
You press your lips tightly together, glaring at him playfully. You can't help but feel a surge of need. It's like you're both fighting the same battle, giving in to something that's been building up for weeks. Suddenly you find your hand guiding his further up your skirt.
Riki doesn't hesitate, immediately shoving your hand aside and tearing your panties apart with his hands. He gets down on his knees and buries his face between your legs, licking and sucking at your dripping folds without warning like a starved man. Your eyes roll back to the back of your head, looking down at him in slight surprise. "Fuck, you're so wet." He growls against your pussy, his fingers digging into your thighs.
He groans as he feels your fingers gripping his hair tighter, your delicious moans spurring him on. He alternates between long, teasing licks and quick flicks against your clit, savoring your sweet taste. His hands squeeze your ass, pulling you harder against his face. "F...fuck ah mmph.." Your back arches against the wall, clawing at it slightly as you try to keep quiet, not wanting anyone to hear.
He hooks his arms around your legs and throws them over his shoulders, opening you up even wider. He laps his tongue greedily around your clit, determined to make you come on his face before he allows himself to enter you. "Mmh." He groans against your pussy, your body shaking slightly from the vibration. "A-ah Riki..." The stall gets filled up with slurping sounds along with your quiet desperate moans.
He slightly pulls back, looking up at you with half closed eyes. Your breathing heavily, sweat dripping down your forehead. "Riki or daddy?" He licks his lower lip slightly, smirking a bit as he sees your widened eyes. "I..I am not calling you that weirdo." He tilts his head back, "Hey hey, it was just a suggestion."
"I'll think... about it." You whisper embarrassed, turning a light shade of red when he lets out a quiet chuckle. "Thats my good girl." Your legs slightly tremble at the name, butterflies forming in your stomach before he spreads your legs wider, feasting on your pussy like it's his last meal. He growls against your cunt when you reach down to grip his hair. Your about to reach your climax and he knows it.
"I-I'm gonna-" you whine out, the sound echoes around the empty washroom. Riki snaps his mouth against your clit, sucking hard. "Come on my face, baby." His tongue laps up your juices, going fast and hard against your sensitive nub. "Give it to me." His words are more than enough for you to reach your high, finding yourself cumming all over his face, your thighs shaking violently while you try your hardest not to scream from the pleasure.
He feels your body convulse with your climax. He spreads your legs wider, pushing them back almost painfully, allowing him deeper access. His tongue goes wild, licking and sucking every last bit of your juice. He growls softly against your pussy before pulling back, licking your release off his lips. You suck in a moan, looking down at him.
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Riki's cock is aching against his jeans, begging to be free. "P-please." He hears your soft beg. He unbuckles his belt slowly, eyes darkening. "Do you want my dick?" His voice is deep, seeing you slowly nod your head. He pushes his pants and boxers down in one swift motion, freeing his throbbing cock. He strokes himself slowly, letting you admire his impressive size. A droplet of precum pearls at the tip as he grunts. You stare intently, gulping at his length, "You're..."
He steps forward, turning you around and lifting your ass up, rubbing the head against your sensitive entrance. "Yeah? Think you can take it?" His voice is thick with desire as he pushes the tip just slightly inside you, a loud gasp escaping your mouth. "So far for being quiet." Riki says teasingly as you glare up at him playfully, swallowing hard. "I-I'm trying my hardest," He chuckles while pushing in slightly more, filling you with just the tip. "Am I too big?" He grunts, your hands going up to grip his shoulders tightly.
"I-I can take it.." you whimper out. "You sure?" He feeds you another inch, making you wince slightly. He watches your face closely. "Tsk, you're only halfway there." He pulls back slightly then pushes in another inch, hitting a new spot inside you which causes your mouth to open wide. "You really can take my whole dick? Don't wanna hurt you." His voice drops lower.
You just nod, desperation taking over you. "Good girl." He praises darkly, then grips your hips tightly and slams his hips forward, impaling you completely on his massive length. For a second, your vision gets blurry, the pleasure overwhelming. "Fuck!" He roars as he bottoms out inside you, gripping on your hips tightly. You let out a loud straining moan before hearing someone walk into the washroom.
The both of you freeze, and Riki doesn't move inside you just yet. Your slightly panicking but he doesn't seem to care because he begins to grind his hips slowly, letting you feel every inch of him. Your mouth opens wide, but he quickly covers it with his hand, leaning down and whispers against your ear, "That pussy just swallowed every inch of my cock like such a good girl." His hands grip your thighs roughly, pulling you open wider. You swallow hard, whimpering against his palm. "Shh, don't wanna get caught do you?"
Finally that person seems to leave — and Riki's hand leaves your mouth. His thick shaft drags in and out of your tight, soaked pussy at a brutal pace. Each thrust makes you wince and whimper, your walls stretching to accommodate his size. He pounds into you relentlessly, the sound of his skin slapping against your ass filling the room. "F-fuck ah.. Riki-" You roll your eyes back, your mind becoming blank.
He can feel your gentle scratches against his back as he pounds into you, his hands tightening on your thighs. "Fuck, baby. This what you wanted? My dick destroying your insides?" You nod, opening your mouth to speak but words come out as moans instead. He pulls your hips further up to get deeper inside you. He leans forward, his mouth finding yours in a harsh, bruising kiss as he continues to rut into you.
He groans loudly into the kiss as he feels your pussy clench tightly around his throbbing shaft before breaking the kiss, panting heavily. "Shit, you're squeezing me so fucking tight." He adjusts his angle, deliberately targeting your G-spot with every powerful thrust.
Your trying to grip on the walls, but your fingers slip. "G-gonna cum..." His eyes darken with lust at your words, his thrusts becoming even more forceful. "Cum for me, baby. Milk my dick with that tight cunt." He reaches down and circles his thumb over your clit, applying pressure in time with his thrusts.
And with that, He feels your release bathe his length, making him groan loudly. Your pussy pulses around him tightly, almost painfully. He pumps into you erratically, losing his rhythm. He lowers his head and watches as your fluids coat his shaft, making it glide easily in and out of your body.
He pants heavily, finally unleashing his pent up load deep inside of your wet cunt. Your back arches against him as he does so, the both of you letting out loud moans from the feeling. Then he pulls out slowly, his cock glistening with your juices. "Fuck." He holds your waist and you tremble, putting your whole body weight on him since your struggling to stand.
The bathroom stall feels too small now, the air thick with the weight of what just happened. You’re both still breathing heavily, and there’s a quiet, almost uncomfortable stillness between you.
He leans back against the wall, rubbing a hand over his face as if trying to process everything. You do the same, your mind racing a little. It’s strange how quickly things shifted, how in the span of just a few minutes, everything between you changed. You glance over at him. He’s still looking at you, his eyes soft, his expression unreadable. For a moment, neither of you speaks. You’re both just sitting there in the aftermath, unsure of what to say next.
"So… that happened," you murmur, trying to break the silence. He lets out a small laugh, but it’s low, more to himself than anything. “Yeah. Guess it did.” His voice sounds different now, less guarded, but there’s still that underlying tension. You’re not sure if you’re relieved or nervous. A mix of both. "I didn’t expect it to happen like this, especially here." He looks around the cramped stall, a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "Neither did I. But… it’s not the worst place, I guess."
You roll your eyes, half-smiling. “So… what now?” you ask, the question hanging in the air between you. He pauses, clearly thinking it over. Finally, he looks at you, his gaze steady. "I don’t know. But I don’t want it to be a one-time thing." You can’t help but smile, a warmth spreading through you. "Neither do I."
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💘: thank you so much for all your support on my storiesss!! i didnt expect anyone to like them, so thank youu!!!🥹��💕 ill get to the rest of the requests soon, im currently busy w school so itll take some time, thanks for your patience🫶
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fairuzfan · 10 months ago
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I'm watching two documentaries of one of my familys' villages and Palestinian and 'Israeli' witness accounts from the Naksa and a Jewish tour guide comes to one of the villages (which were the 3 villages side by side, all of them affected) and points to a bathhouse with gravestones all around it. The area of all three villages is now completely demolished and the Jewish National Fund built the "Canada Park" (funded predominately by Canada! Through tax deductible donations!), as well as an Israeli settlement, on top of it. An Israeli woman sits, eating from the trees that my ancestors planted, and she says "this is war. I dont feel the pain from these places, the pain of the people. This is what happens in war." Can you imagine? She sits, eating from my ancestors trees and she says "it doesn't matter to me." The level of selfishness to be so confident in your theft!
In the documentary, a Palestinian elder from Yalo says, holding back tears, that her dream is to go back to Yalo and die and be buried in her home, where her husband died. That was my great grandmothers' dream that was never realized, just a few years ago in a village not far from Yalo.
They talk about how this was a war crime, a crime against humanity. Since '67 we have been having these discussions. Since '48 we have been talking about war crimes committed by Israelis! These are the same discussions we keep having! The same facts we keep repeating! Even Yitzhak Rabin says the same things, that this is war, this is what happens in a war! It's the same things over and over and it's happening in Gaza!
There are people still alive who participated in the ethnic cleansing of these villages. They participated in demolishing these villages. They participated in killing those village members. They participated in the generations of poverty that Palestinians experience. They're still alive and just walking around in Israeli society, encouraging the genocide in Gaza. How can I trust a society like that? Knowing that these people are lauded as heroes for erasing these villages. How can I trust them when barely anyone in this society acknowledges the violence done onto us? Abhorrent violence that they let happen so willingly!
Here are the documentaries. These three villages were ethnically cleansed in '67, and it's shocking to hear the same sort of stories we hear from Gaza today. The same playbook, the same places.
Villages: Yalo, 'Imwas, Bayt Nuba
youtube
youtube
youtube
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lilacgaby · 5 months ago
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title: i've changed, won't you see?
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pairing: prohero!katsuki x reader
summary: katsuki ruined your life when you were small, giving you a life altering injury, though getting nothing more than a pat on the back. throughout his successes he can't get you out of his mind, so he sets out to make amends with you.
tags: silent voice inspired!! childhood bully katsuki :(, disabled reader, mentions of violence, angst to fluff, su1cide attempt, comfort, implied nsfw, no proofread
(a/n: i wanted to give my hand at really long works while doing drabbles in between but i have so many drafts now jajsjsj)
wc: ~4k
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your eyes were always blurry around him it seemed. your hands shaking as your voice cracked, just begging him. "please leave me alone!" with all the might a five year old could muster.
they scoffed at you, they always did. "crybaby. blame your parents for not giving you a quirk. you should've moved when i told you to anyways, it's my park dont you know?" katsuki mocked, moving closer to you, noticing the card behind your back.
"stop being so mean! quirkless people don't do anything wrong!"
"quirkless don't do anything."
your chest was heaving with pain, your little heart couldn't take it. "you-- you'll never be a hero, you're too mean!"
in an act of rage, he set off an explosion. it was only meant to intimidate you but..
once the smoke settled your screams of terror filled the playground.
blood dripped on the floor, pooling in your hand as your grasped your ear. a ringing was all you could hear, it was driving you crazy.
were you crying? you couldn't tell, you couldn't hear. your eyes were shut as you were filled with panic, the smell of iron flooding your senses.
but katsuki remembered so much more.
the smell of the burned cartilage of your ear, the sight of it, or rather the lack of. the blood that wouldn't stop coming, why wasn't it stopping?
his group that usually rallied behind him was now gone, leaving him and a wailing you alone. he tried to talk to you, but you weren't responding.
he grew the courage to touch you, tapping on your shoulder slowly, but that didn't comfort you. in fact he thought it made it worse, making you bow your head in a defensive position.
he stared at you, unable to move, he was supposed to be a hero like allmight, were you right?
finally, a teacher came running to get you, an ambulance already on the way. they didn't look at katsuki, only at the pitiful state you were in.
you didn't respond to them either.
katsuki felt sick as he stood where you and the teacher had left them. he felt sick as he looked down to the remains of what he'd done to you.
he couldn't process it yet, but he felt a sickening despair and guilt be placed upon his shoulders.
one that wouldn't disappear.
he wasn't blamed for anything, only getting a quirk consolation. they thought he lost control? his parents eyed him as he tried to explain what had truely happened, he didn't know why he was trying, did he want to get punished?
but even after, nothing was done. with a lecture and a couple promises he was sent back to class with nothing done to him.
your life was changed forever though, it was apparent in the way that you seemed even more quiet and closed off. you sat in the back, never spoke to anyone, and got teary eyed when he even stood close to you.
your hair covered your ears constantly, a hearing aid peeking through the strands occasionally. the teacher never forced you to participate, none of them ever made an effort.
the teacher had explained to the class how you were completely deaf in one ear, and extremely hard of hearing in the other. how you'd use sign language from now on, and that the class would learn some in support. they never did though, the conversation going ignored as soon as it was uttered.
you were pulled out of class often, the teacher having to tap you on the shoulder to get your attention. your eyes dejected and your presence small as the person who came to get you made gestures with their hands to you.
you'd been cruelly placed in matching classes 'til your last years of junior high. you'd stayed the same way for forever, it was like a weight placed over his chest.
yet he felt he deserved it. he knew he was messed up. he watched you, a lot. he saw you in the back corners, usually forgotten and ignored. when you were acknowledged you were mocked, people making random hand signs to make fun of the way he forced you to communicate, mocking your unconfident speech right after.
he saw the way you sunk into yourself afterwards, making his heart hurt as you grew impossibly smaller. your hands held your own as you prayed for it to be over.
everytime you'd catch him in the halls, you'd still freeze up. your breath shaky as you bowed and left quickly, making his friends laugh but make him queasy.
that interaction was witnessed by your teacher who, after a day of you not showing up, assigned him to give you your work for the day.
with sweaty palms and a racing heart, he dropped by your house. he knew where it was, of course he did, your mom and his were close industry friends even after the incident.
because you'd never told anyone about what he'd do to you.
he knocked on the door, attempting to seem nonchalant. when you answered though, he felt his heart lurch in his chest.
"[name], uh-- this is your work."
you didn't respond, you looked almost nauseous at the sight of him, it was deserved though.
he placed your work on the floor and walked off, that was the only time he'd spoken to you since the incident,
and he couldn't even apologize.
- - -
U-A wouldn't only be a dream for him, but a release for you both. was it selfish to want to run away from his problems? sure, but it'd help you too.
as everyone in the class exclaimed the names of the schools they picked, unsurprised at katsuki's choice, he pondered on where you'd go.
nobody asked you, so you didn't speak. staying quiet as you looked out the window.
katsuki got accepted into U-A easily, but he couldn't help but feel he lacked the main criteria. he'd hurt people poorly, and couldn't apologize because of his ego.
he felt sick to accept these accomplishments of his, knowing it'd be built up on the foundation of hurting you.
but he did anyway, selfishly. he kept up his harsh demeanor in U-A anyways, working hard and scoring high. he graduated top of his class, job offers to agencies left and right.
he accepted one, working for his old internship officially now. he climbed the ranks quickly, saving lives and catching the attention of the media.
a couple years later, he was a steady number five hero when he took a patrol route over for deku. as he strolled through the city, stores littering the buildings, he saw someone he never thought he'd see again.
you, only now working for your mothers seamstress company. you were embroidering something on the station, hands precise and focused, not noticing him.
he had to keep moving, but.. he made a mental note to come back later.
he finished his patrol anxious, he went to sleep thinking of what he'd even say to you. 'hey sorry for ruining your life, can you forgive me?' he slapped his forehead in frustration.
he searched up basic sign language for beginners, learning a bit. he laughed at the stupid thoughts of your forgiveness that he dreamt of.
"as if i deserve it." he muttered, looking deeply at the ceiling of his room before falling asleep.
as soon as he awoke, he got dressed and prepared. he tried to look causal, as if he wasn't planning this.
he walked in, immediately greeted by your mother who congratulated him on his heroics. "well isn't that dynamite? saving the world i see."
he laughed politely. "i'll be number one soon enough."
"of course! well, what're you looking for? i'll give you a family discount, you grew up so close to [name] didn't you?"
his heart jumped into his throat.
"uh.. we did."
"you two were so adorable! she was so nervous around you, she must've had a crush on you or something!"
"i definitely don't think so."
"oh, you're just being modest." she said, hitting his arm lightly. "there she is now, go and speak to her."
"uh-- i--"
"go!" she shoved him in your direction, making you look up to see him. your lips parted in an unrecognizable expression as you saw him, the line you were working on now crooked as you were left alone together.
it's been about ten years hadn't it? ten years since he last saw you, but a lifetime he needed to apologize for.
he'd learned so much in U-A, outwardly changing his demeanor to what he always aspired to be. but all that meant nothing to you, who only experienced him at his worst.
he awkwardly raised his hand up to you, he did his best to sign while speaking, his hands shaky and unconfident. "hi [name], i'm really sorry about what happened back then."
your eyes followed the movements, your hands absentmindedly wrapping around yourself loosely, defensively.
"i know this is a lot but,
can we be friends?"
he waited anxiously for you to answer, you looking as if you were processing it.
in a grown up, yet timid voice, one that he hadn't heard since you were young, you almost whispered, signing as you did so out of reflex. "thank you, bakugo." your eyes grew watery. great, he just couldn't seem to stop making you cry.
he sat near you after getting wordless permission to, hanging onto every word you spoke, and being mindful to speak in a calm tone himself.
"i.. i'd like a friend, honestly. a new one anyways."
he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when you said that, but still, it wasn't enough.
he wanted to, no needed to make you happy. the years of torment he subjected you to couldn't be made up by anything less than years of happiness.
after a bit of small talk, him asking you questions about what you'd been up to, how your life was treating you. he zoned out a couple times, thinking of how beautiful you've become.
"what would make you happy, [name]?" he finally said, his head supported on his hand as he gazed at you, making sure to enunciate his words so you could read his lips.
"what makes you ask?"
"i-- i want to make you happy. no matter the cost, it's what you deserve."
she laughed softly at that, her eyes flickering with an indistinguishable expression. "...i always wanted to travel. around the world, to see mountains and landscapes."
"then i'll take you."
"you don't have t--"
"i do. and ill do more [name], what i did to you was-- is horrible. you know that."
"i..
okay, okay bakugo."
"katsuki."
you smiled, "katsuki."
going from having very limited contact with your only friend from high school, to having a prohero come to your shop everyday was jarring. but not unwelcomed.
he brought gifts with him everytime, learning what you'd like and not. it ranged from food to stuffed animals, flowers to accessories, all of which you really appreciated.
you grew closer, eventually starting to meet outside of your mother's shop. at the park or walking around the mall, he'd take you anywhere you wanted to go. he'd pay for everything too, despite your reluctance.
he kept his word to you, and at the end of the month he asked you to come up to his apartment.
a penthouse.
as you walked in, greeted by the shimmering atmosphere of the expensive furniture and decor all around, abstract paintings and trophies littering shelves on the walls.
you stood by the front entrance, taking off your shoes as you walked in. "katsuki?" you asked, looking around.
he came out, a tiny smile on his face. "ya made it." he had something behind his back, "come in [name]."
the apartment was huge to say the least, it becoming even bigger than it looked from the entrance. he guided you to his plush couch, sitting next to you.
"so, i know you said you dreamt of traveling, right?"
at your nod, he pulled out the tickets from behind his back. "i.. got this tickets for you. i didn't want to push it in case you didn't want me to go with you but--"
you cut him off with a hug, tackling him into the couch.
"of course i want you to come,
katsuki."
you signed his name differently than other times,
you'd finally made a name for him.
he hugged back mindfully, so excited to finally have a huge first step in the right direction.
but he still needed to make you happy. "we'll leave in two days if that's okay, i just wanted to give you time to pack."
"okay, that's good."
"do you.. want to stay?" he asked nervously, the thought had popped into his mind and out his mouth in a millisecond.
you blinked, sitting up on his legs, pondering it over.
"sure, okay."
he put on some movies for the two of you, his heart was racing at the proximity of your body to his.
the night ended with you laid on top of him, fast asleep as he was comforted by the beating of your heart against his. your chest against his, his hand in your hair as your head laid in his neck.
he woke up first, to the sight of the gold light making you look heavenly, your hair messy from how he was playing with it throughout the night. your face was almost against his, he could kiss you right now.
but he shouldn't. he would move but he didn't want to couldn't, so he looked you over. you woke up to the feeling of his fingers caressing your face, your eyes half lidded from sleep.
"'suki. g'morning."
his heart was getting used to irregularly pounding around you at this point. "[name], uh-- hi."
after a couple moments, you got off of him, much to his discontent. his hands sliding down your legs as you got up.
"i'll be going now, i gotta pack and stuff." you said, looking in one of the many mirrors scattered around as you fixed your appearance as much as you could.
he nodded. "let me walk you home at least."
and he did walk you home, hand in hand.
those two nights he spent pondering over you. he didn't know why, but hero work felt much lighter after talking it out with you. becoming your friend was one of the best things he'd achieved in years, and that was including his recent rankings.
he thought back to how he treated you as a kid, had he really just been searching for your validation all along?
is that why it hurt when you told him he'd never amount to his dreams, because he only valued your opinion?
he let himself sleep, he'd see you tomorrow. and he'd make it all right.
he woke up and picked you up at your place, his expensive sports car standing out against the comfort of the neighborhood. you walked out, dressed simply but cute, a bag of your own in hand.
he grabbed it from you and placed it in the back, opening the passenger door for you as he drove to the airport. his hand on your thigh as he did so, letting you play the music you'd like with loud bass.
it was a half hour ride in comfortable silence, he gazed at you occasionally, a thoughtful expression on your face.
on the plane, you sat by the window. it was first class so you'd get to sleep in a physical bed, in a closed room. you were treated to whatever food and drinks you wanted, hugging katsuki when you found out you where you were heading.
the flight was a long eighteen hours, but it was spent hanging out with katsuki. on his lap asking him questions about the shows you two had watched, power scaling arguments about past heroes, fights he'd recently been in.
also what you two planned to do as you were there, you wanted to go to the beaches and mountains, he just wanted to follow you.
you fell asleep together again, your face laid directly in his chest as he held you.
you woke up to katsuki tapping you on the shoulder. as you raised the volume on your aids, you heard the beeping on the intercoms that meant you'd have to go back to your seats for the landing, groggily being helped up by katsuki as he moved you to to your seats.
you sat by the windows, looking at the tropical region as you two landed, your hand still in his. the moments after we're a blur, before you knew it you were in a car being buckled up by katsuki as you were being driven to your hotel.
what you didn't know was that it was a villa, built on top of the waters of the ocean, your very own private beach right outside your doors with the mountains you'd dreamt of treking right behind you.
you'd never been so happy.
the days you'd spent started and ended all the same, you waking up and going to sleep in katsuki's arms. pretending like you didn't notice how your bed hair got worsened after he played with it all night.
the first days you'd spent at the beach, attempting and failing at surfing. your jet lag was killed off by your utter excitement.
you being thankful your aids were water resistant because of how much you loved the waters of the river and the seas.
you'd had a sandcastle competition, sunbathed, and soaked off in the hot tub of your villa together.
the trek's were fun too, katsuki was annoyingly good at everything so you'd have to fight to keep up.
your polaroid in hand as you snapped candid shots of him, turning it to yourself as you got a selfie of you two with the gorgeous rivers as background.
you jumped into those too, making katsuki freak out as you dived in to the deep waters.
you even got to the top one day, jokingly saying that you should've brought a flag to the top to celebrate. the golden hours of the sunset making you glimmer.
a moment of silence passed over you as he slowly approached you, wordlessly asking for permission as you once again put your hands in his.
you leaned in first, kissing him with the sun as witness.
"i really like you [name]." he sighed and spoke after you pulled away.
"i like you too." you replied, hugging him tightly.
the rest of your trip was filled with your firsts with katsuki.
your first official date was in the burrows of the forest, a picnic where you two painted portraits of eachother. albeit, unique portraits... but painting nonetheless.
your first moment truly loving someone, the feeling you recognized as you laid him in your lap for the first time.
your first talk about what happened all those years ago. a deep one.
"[name], before we become something um.. official. we need to talk about how i hurt you." katsuki said one day, laying faced to you but taking your hands into his.
"kats--"
"let me speak. please." after you nodded, he took a breath and began.
"i was egotistical and really insecure all those years. you were the only one who really read me, that's why i think i got so upset.
i didn't mean to hurt you, i never wanted to hurt anyone i swear-- i just hated that you were right.
that weighed over me all these years, the fact that my hero work meant nothing if i was doing it while acting so.. unheroic.
i never fully felt like a hero, not until i met you again.
not until you graced me with your friendship, your undeserved affection towards me. i just-- i really care about you. and im really sorry, ill spend the rest of my life apologizing to you, and you don't have to accept it because i don't deserve it.
i guess what i'm trying to say is..
sorry, and.. i love you [name].
you don't have to--"
he was cut off by a kiss on his lips.
it felt different somehow, he couldn't place it. almost sad in a way as you pulled back.
"i don't think you were trying to hurt me. but, you did.
and you're working to change it, i appreciate that.
i really care for you too katsuki."
the rest of your trip was comfortingly domestic, learning things about each other you'd never know.
your last week was bittersweet, having to leave your jointed paradise was a reality that saddened the both of you. but your dream was fulfilled, and so was his.
seeing that he was the cause of your smiles and not your horror, making you happy was the light of his day. no, his life.
he thinks he was born to make you happy.
the flight back was a blur, you spent it clinging to him. you started to gift him your own things over the hours, a scrunchie of yours, a bracelet for him to keep.
a locket with a photo of you two, and the polaroid you'd taken on the mountains.
"why are you giving this all to me? not that i'm complaining."
"well, you'll get more use out of it. that's all."
he scrunched his face up in confusion, but with a smile you waved off his concerns.
he wished he pushed you more.
he wished that you'd forgive him for failing you once again, as he fought to take the razor blade out of your grip, slicing your hand in the process.
you were in your bathtub, surrounded by water yet fully clothed, tears and wails wracking your body as you just wanted it to be over.
you finally relented, your blood staining his clothes and the water as he picked you up. you couldn't hear him, you'd taken out your aid.
but you could feel his sobs, his tears hitting you as you shut your eyes, embarrassed of what you'd just done.
you were rushed to the hospital and given stitches, you were to be closely watched from your mom now on, you were told by an interpreter.
katsuki's eyes were red, matching his pupils as he looked at you.
he was frustrated, you could see it in the trembling of his fists and the scowl in his mouth. if he hadn't been there.. you would be dead.
why, he asked you. and to be honest, you really couldn't explain it yourself.
when you got home to your apartment, empty and reminding of your reality away from katsuki, you just felt so..
scared. what would happen when he finally got the validation he needed and left you? your whole life was quiet and tranquil, you'd gotten used to it. but he flipped it upside down again, showed you what your life really could be.
it was too much for you. you had to escape, so after sitting on it, tapping your leg anxiously as you pondered your decision, you went on your phone.
you went online and saw his life outside of you, how he had everything going for him yet what did you really have? a mom and a job at her company?
you grew impulsive, grabbing it absentmindedly and filling up the tub with the water you grown to love over the past month.
after you started bleeding, you panicked. what had you just done? but it was too late..
until he saved you from yourself.
you were zoning out. when you didn't answer him, he repeated himself, grabbing the interpreter so you could sign.
but still you said nothing, except a small sorry.
he left afterwards, leaving you alone in the bed to think.
you were back in your childhood room now, your mom having sobbed as she looked over your hands, as she asked you, "what the hell were you thinking?"
you looked at those glow in the dark stars and tried to find an answer, but there was none.
you held yourself to sleep for the first time in months, already missing him deeply.
little did you know, he was thinking about you too.
the next morning you awoke to a knock on your bedroom door. assuming it was your mom, you got up and opened it.
it was katsuki instead, holding a bouquet of flowers and the locket you'd given him.
"can i come in?"
you opened the door wider, leading him to sit on your bed.
"katsuki i--"
"[name]. i don't know why you did what you did.. but i know it probably has something to do with me. so what did i do wrong?" he looked defeated, as if he thought it was his fault you tried to end your life.
"no! no that wasn't it at all. well, it was about you but not like that.
it's just.. i've been alone. for so long? having you around felt.. too good to be true. i didn't want to go back to how i was before. in a way, you were too good for me."
"you're.. an idiot. but i guess i understand."
"i just.. i really love how you treat me. i didn't want it to go away."
a moment of silence passes, a small anxious laugh leaving katsuki's lips.
"fuck, i thought you hated me. could barely sleep without you."
he pulled you into him, staring deeply into your eyes as he pulled you impossibly closer. he kissed you deeply. his worries, passions, and frustrations all poured out into it.
he pulled away, eyes half lidded as he asked gruffly.
"wanna take this back to my place?"
he took your last first away, gentle and loving as he guided you through it. reassuring you that he'd never leave you.
you moved in with him soon after, finding it hard to sleep without eachother, no matter how late he got back to your shared home.
he'd be welcomed back by the sight of you, who always tried and failed to stay up waiting for him. he'd pick you up, like always, and hug you to sleep.
he'd know he woke you up by the feeling of your smile in his chest, the way you tightened you arms around him.
he loved spending every waking moment he could with you. you were right though, he did break up with you after he got your validation.
...
but that's just an odd way to say he proposed to you, vowing to spend the rest of his life making you happy and fufiling your wishes one by one.
he changed not only himself, but the way you see yourself. he changed your relationships with yourselves and eachother for the better,
and as you walked down the aisle, your wedding planned by your two designer parents, being lavish and gorgeous. the silk on the floor being runway to your expensive shoes specially designed for you, the guests in awe of how gorgeous you are.
you both knew, you'd better eachother for better or for worse, for as long as you'd be together.
he signed 'i do', sealing the rest of your lives together,
with a kiss.
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hangup119 · 5 months ago
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don't get the deal | h. taesan (TEASER)
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being the shoulder to cry on is no easy task - especially not for han taesan, who has lived almost half of his life painfully smitten over someone he is confident would never, ever think of wanting him as more than just a friend. he wonders if he will ever get out of this so-called "friend zone," or maybe he just doesn't get the deal at all.
pairing. han taesan x fem. reader
genres + warnings. friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, one-sided pining, eventual happy ending, slight angst + profanity, taesan is bad at feelings, reader is even worse
playlist. don't get the deal by beabadoobee; but i like you by boy next door; somethin' stupid by frank sinatra; about a girl by nirvana; disasterology by pierce the veil; if i'm james dean, you're audrey hepburn by sleeping with sirens
expected word count. 7k-10k words | teaser word count. 1.3k words
author's note. hey goisss... ive had this in the drafts for so so long but for some reason i started working on it again and im nearing the end so hopefully this will be out very soon !!! dont quote me on that tho live laugh love user hangup119's work ethic <3 ALSO btw this teaser is like a flashback kinda thing but the real story actually takes place in their college days
@onedoornet | reblogs appreciated!
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IT WAS HIGH SCHOOL WHEN YOU RUINED TAESAN'S LIFE FOREVER.
To be more specific, it was during your last year of high school when he realized that there was simply no way he was ever going to win you over. Not now, and certainly not ever.
Because here’s the thing: Taesan was not a bad-looking guy, he’s far from it, actually. In fact, he had enough business cards from agency recruiters that could fit a whole shoe box, so his looks clearly were never the problem here. Was it his personality, then? Probably not that, either. He was pretty chill most of the time, and he had never really acted up around anyone unless it truly called for it. He always made sure that he wasn’t making a fool out of himself around you, and there were never really incidents that could have painted him in a bad light in your eyes. He had decent grades, so he wasn’t stupid either, which was one of your major turn-offs. And he was sporty—he participated in the school’s soccer team, and he even had a bunch of fans giggling over him whenever he so much as passed them by while chasing after the ball, so his popularity was pretty decent too.
Was he simply not… your type? But that couldn’t be—you were always making heart eyes at Park Sunghoon who was two grades above, and he was told all the time that he was basically a lookalike of the guy! Not to mention you were always at Jung Sungchan’s games, cheering his name even when the guy was literally being benched. Taesan never got benched. He was the star player of his soccer team. You fawned over Park Wonbin when he performed at the school’s talent show, but Taesan could also sing and play the electric guitar just as well. You squealed over Lee Sohee because he was sooo cute! but Taesan knew how to get real fucking adorable, too! He practically had all of their qualities combined into one, and not once did you ever look back at him. 
And that’s when it hit him. 
It was prom that night, and he was off at the corner drinking from a cup of water instead of jumping along with the fray and bouncing up and down to some Drake song when his friend, Kim Leehan, approached him. 
“I’m not slow-dancing with you, Leehan,” he muttered, taking another sip of his bland water. “Piss off.”
Leehan raised his arms in response, smiling in a way that was just so Leehan-like of him. “Woah, woah, I get it. Someone pissed in your cup, or something? Literally and figuratively,” he laughed, leaning against the wall next to him. “Lighten up for once, ‘san. It’s your first and last prom, you know?” 
Taesan only grunted in return. 
“Look at you; so emo tonight,” Leehan said, defeated. He followed the other’s gaze towards the dance floor, where everyone is packed together like a can of sardines. “But you’re always so normal around Y/N.” 
Taesan paused.
Leehan laughed again. “Hm, maybe not?” 
Sometimes, it was both a blessing and a curse to be friends with someone like Kim Leehan. 
“Stop talking about things you already know,” Taesan murmured, chucking the water cup into the trash can a few meters away. He placed his hands inside his pockets, looking straight ahead amidst the dizzying lights and the dispersed crowd now that a slow song started playing.
“Why don’t you go ask her for a dance?” Leehan suggested, signaling towards the dance floor. 
“She’s literally holding hands with Yang Jungwon right now,” Taesan deadpanned. “Are you kidding me? How’d she get him of all people as her prom date?” 
Scoring the smartest and the most popular student in your school has got to be the biggest flex of your high school career. Taesan had almost no complaints except for the fact that Yang Jungwon was your date instead of—him! Any moment now and he’d be losing his mind. Actually, scratch that, he probably already was. 
Leehan hummed. 
“Do you think,” he began, slowly, darting his line of sight between you who’s giggling at something Yang Jungwon said, before turning back to Taesan, the angstiest kid he’s ever known. “That, maybe, if you had just asked her out to prom with you… then maybe she’d have said yes?” 
Finally, the gears inside Taesan’s head started to turn. Leehan smiled at the sight.
Taesan quickly scoffed. “No way,” he denied, crossing his arms. “Why would she go with me when she’s got Yang Jungwon as her date? It’d only happen in my dreams.” 
He figured it out anyway. It wasn’t because he wasn’t as handsome as Park Sunghoon, or as sporty as Jung Sungchan, or as musically talented as Park Wonbin (though he’d beg to differ), or as cute as Lee Sohee. Heck, it wasn’t even because he wasn’t as smart or as popular as Yang Jungwon. 
Maybe it was never because of those things that made you look at them instead of him. 
Maybe you were just never interested in him at all. 
And Taesan will have no other choice but to live with that fact forever. 
Leehan’s smile dropped, and he peeled himself away from the wall. Just as he was about to leave, he stopped for a second just to say: “You’re so—stubborn.” 
Taesan looked at him indignantly. “...What’s that supposed to mean?” 
Leehan shrugged, finally walking away. “You tell me, dude.” 
And then he was gone, rushing off to join the rest of their friends while Taesan stayed in the back, alone and miserable all because of his newfound epiphany. Though he supposed he was already miserable the moment you entered the venue with Yang Jungwon right beside you. 
It was a time of new beginnings for Taesan; a time to finally move on from you. 
Though, if only it was that easy.
Two weeks later, when you were working on a final project with him, you unexpectedly dropped the news that you and Jungwon have broken up. Because Jungwon was going to some Ivy League, and you were decidedly… not. You couldn’t handle the thought of being long-distance, so you decided to just cut things off with him since it can’t be helped, you know? And then you proceeded to laugh it off with that huge, idiotic smile of yours before continuing on with the project. Taesan didn’t know what was so funny.
Eventually, he had to share his water with you when you started sobbing hysterically inside of the library, hiccuping and all. 
He admittedly felt awful seeing you cry over Yang Jungwon, your high school boyfriend of probably only two months, but most importantly, he felt awful because of the relief that suddenly washed over him. 
…And what did that make Taesan?
So, really, maybe it was for the better that you would never look at Taesan the way he wished you would. That no matter how many times he has lent you an ear to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, you never bothered to stop for a moment and think that hey, maybe this guy likes me to some capacity, and maybe I should give him a chance. Because what kind of friend is he to feel relieved at the fact that you had gotten dumped by your boyfriend? That when your heart was broken, he could only rejoice at the fact that he now has a higher chance of getting with you once again even when it is so clear that he never once did? 
How could he sit next to you and think such thoughts? 
And yet, even when you keep jumping from one person to another, falling for someone, crying over another—Taesan will always be there for you when it all comes crashing down. A friend to cheer you on, to lift you up, to steady you—because that’s all he’ll ever be to you. 
Han Taesan was only seventeen years old when you ruined his life. 
And for what it is worth, he is still in love with you.
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story by hangup119. do not steal.
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buuniebaby · 9 months ago
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hamzah x reader sexting headcannons ໒꒰ྀི ˶• ༝ •˶ ꒱ྀི১₊˚⊹♡
includes: implied virgin hamzah, obvi nsfw, mentions of nudes n porn, female reader
i was high while i wrote this so sorry if it sucks el oh el
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- this man goes ALL OUT when it comes to sexting. it’s surprising knowing that you’re the first girl he’s been with after seeing the way he talks.
- always praising you. that boy thinks you’ve got the prettiest face in the world, even during sex. when he’s horny, he doesn’t ask for nudes, (although he definitely wouldn’t turn them down 🤭) he asks for pictures of your face because you’re just that beautiful to him.
- definitely nervous at first, but once you’re into it, so is he.
- will get detailed once he’s comfortable. once you’ve got him riled up, if u ask him what he wants to do to u, he’ll give u whole PARAGRAPHS of the fantasies he has about you.
- although hamzah years ago promised himself in his head he would never send nudes, you tempted him a little too much.
- he sends nut vids. with audio. and warns u first ! 😊
- when you guys aren’t together and he misses you, he knows exactly how to make himself feel better. you’ll be out hanging out with your friends when suddenly you’ve got a text from him reading something along the lines of “dont open in front of anyone lol.”
- after you sneak off to the bathroom, you open the text up to a minute long video of him, laying in bed, sweatpants and boxers just slightly pulled down. he lazily strokes himself, but gets more intense the longer the video goes on. as he inches closer to finishing, he softly mutters your name as well as faint swears as he desperately fucks into his hand and cums.
- before dating you, he had a bad habit of watching a lot of porn.. but he doesn’t need that anymore. you’re his own personal pornstar.
- on the topic of porn, one of his biggest fantasies is making a tape between you two… but that could be its own set of hcs 🫣
- he loves when you really try to explore the things he’s into. since he didn’t have much experience before you, there are a lot of things he’s eager to try that he’s seen online or in porn. obviously he would never participate in anything against your boundaries, but he’s definitely here for it if you’re interested in his kinks.
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i am so down bad for this man it’s not even funny. i need him!!! 😊 so bad!!!! 😊 anyways erm ill write like anything for him as long as its x fem reader thanku baiii
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soapyghostie · 1 year ago
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hii ^_^ can you do slasher hcs, can be anyone you choose, with a child!Reader (platonic ofc) suddenly saying a bad word infront of them? Lol idk i just thought that it would be a funny scenario, you dont have to do it if u dont want to btw :3 have a nice day!
Since this was a free-bee, I took the chance to write for a couple slashers I haven’t gotten a chance to write for yet. One of them is one I’ve written for multiple times already, but I know how y'all are and that Michael Myers content. Y’all will eat that shit up. Well anyway, enjoy!
Charles ‘Chucky’ Lee Ray
Chucky, known for his foul-mouthed and sarcastic personality, would most definitely burst into a fit of maniacal laughter upon hearing the inappropriate language that just came out of your mouth. He finds the situation very amusing, secretly proud of your choice of words. He used to think you were a deadbeat child, but it seems you are starting to take after him in terms of mischief and a devil-may-care attitude. Maybe he’ll give you a shot.
He’d playfully scold you for stealing the spotlight, jokingly reminding you that he’s the only one allowed to say those kinds of words while giving you a wink. He’s pretending to act like a normal parent would if their child cursed so Tiffany doesn’t throw dishes at his head again for god knows what he did beforehand. Anyways, besides the friendly reminder to be careful about where and when to use foul language, Chucky feels a sense of camaraderie in their rebellious spirit that he’s never expressed before. Is this care and kindness he feels? It can’t be! He’s an evil serial killer with no feelings for anyone! Just between you and me, he did care about you in his own way from the beginning. He just hates to admit it and ignored the feeling for a long time. 
Chucky giving you lessons in creative cursing is a must: in a private setting of course. He doesn’t want to have to deal with Tiffany’s scolding about encouraging and, even worse, teaching you such bad behavior. However, if the language goes too far (cursing Tiffany out), Chucky will actually draw a line and sternly explain the importance of knowing when and where such language is appropriate.
Stu Macher
Stu, being the laid-back and humorous person he is, most likely burst out into a fit of laughter initially, thinking it’s just a child’s innocent mistake. However, he’s taken aback. He was not expecting to hear such foul language come out of your mouth and especially wasn’t ready for it since he’s normally making the crude jokes himself rather than hearing it from a child. 
Stu would exchange an amused glance and playfully scold you, reminding you that it’s not appropriate to use such language, especially in front of company. However, Stu may share a few inappropriate jokes of his own, trying to bond with you through your humor. God dammit Stu! Don’t be a bad influence like Chucky is! 
If you continue to use inappropriate language, Stu will employ a more serious tone and discuss the consequences of your behavior. If you don’t listen to him after that (I don’t know how you could not because Stu never serious), Stu will probably be like, “Well what the fuck! Who cares?” and will join in and playfully participate with you. 
Michael Myers
Michael would remain expressionless and unreactive to hearing you say the inappropriate word. He will convey his disapproval through his body language though, such as a stern gaze or a slow shake of his head. You pick up on these cues, going from comical and bright to eerie and uncomfortable, understanding that your words are unacceptable.
Michael does expect immediate compliance, and you are expected to correct your behavior under his imposing presence. In rare cases, Michael will intervene if your behavior becomes continuous and punish you, such as grounding you or giving you a whoopin, to teach you a lesson about the consequences of your behavior. 
Once Michael decides you’ve been punished long enough, if you got the ‘your grounded to your room’ punishment, he’ll make his way to your room and have a conversation with you to instill the importance of respectful behavior. You two end up having a good talk, ending with you promising to use more appropriate language from here on out and Michael promising to get you a tub of ice cream on his next outing if you have good behavior.
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mcytegg · 2 months ago
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lifesteal double life au ^-^ !! basically what it says on the tin:
i put all of the lsers into a randomizer wheel and paired them off. in my mind its kind of just a one off event that takes place during s6, its like its own little arc that goes for at least two weeks, possibly a bit longer tho!!! and i have removed certain players simply bc i cannot realistically imagine them logging in even for day 1 of the event LMFAO.
ls mechanics are the same— you kill you (and ur soulmate) gain a heart, you die and you (and ur soulmate) lose a heart. ADDITIONALLY, i heavily fw the idea that if ur soulmate is banned, you Also get banned ^-^ even if ur on 20, your hearts simply drop on the ground after u die if ur banned bc it makes things ✨️interesting✨️ tho thats all i have so if anyone has any other ideas or disagrees w me then pls feel free to tell me all abt it bc im just saying shit LOL
anyways! soulmates will be under the cut :D
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[the people who have been excluded are leo, mrcube, redd, spep, terry, and vortex @_@ im sorry to fans of them i just can nawt imagine them participating for even a day]
and. dear fucking LORD do we have some crazy match ups oh my god?? 😭😭 the balancing is fucking insane bc to me hearts are NOT given or taken away for any sort of balancing purposes, they have what they had before the event started yk? so soulmates taking care of each other and communicating is even MORE important than anything
and like theoretically people are still in the teams they had before the event, theres technically no rules saying u Need to dedicate urself to your soulmate but considering the type of server ls is, keeping ur soulmate close to u is very likely life or death. like esp for a pair like say...planet and minute bc anyone who has a bone to pick w minute could so easily farm a planetlord over it nd ban them both from the server so being able to protect ur soulmate is just as important as staying safe yourself yk?
its crazy bc u have teams that are definitely just fucking cooked like planet & minute (current 7 heart chungus) or like pangi & jepexx, but u also have teams that are hella fucking cracked in Theory like mapicc & subz bc theyre both cracked at pvp but i actually just dont know how well theyd work as a pair or if theyd EVEN work together or if theyd just do their own thing and expect the other to not die LMFAO.
like, its just so interesting to think abt soulmate dynamics and how this event would affect each preexisting teams. how loyal people would feel towards their soulmates & whether this would change things after the event in regards to Team loyalty and who would grow attached to their soulmates after the fact......or who would hate their soulmates, and who would become enemies bc of this event LOL
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biribaa · 1 year ago
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For the last tadc post were the reader who's abstracting in front of them can you do that with Jax, gangle, zobble, and Pomni please
Zooble, Pomni, Gangle and Jax x a reader who's abstracting in front of them
Technically a part two of these hcs.
TW/CW: spoiler and angst and blahbalhba
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Zooble
Aw #$@!...
It's been months since Zooble has felt any serious feeling in this circus other than disinterest, boredom and stress, they can't even really describe any feeling that aren't one of these I just listed. Mainly now, at this very moment. Zooble stares at the mess that once was you, they didn't even notice their body froze.
And accepting that you suddenly just... gave up, is difficult. And, still, things are still the same, the same unnecessary adventures and stupid people that they have to deal with.
Don't get they wrong, they misses you. But they blindly can't get over you.
The day could be the same old thing, a silly adventure and Jax being an idiot, that suddenly Zooble will feel like something is clearly wrong(not that things already are), something is missing, they are missing something, did they forgot their foot? Maybe someone?
And when the reality hits they like a hard, cold, big rock, everything gets a thousand times worse. Zooble remembers the things you did for them, they for you. They never thought they would get into a cute romance, honestly...And here they are.
Certain thoughts itch in their head that maybe, just maybe, they were a bad partner. They know you're not stupid enough to be with someone you clearly don't like, but yet, Zooble can't help it.
Zobble never thought that they would want things to be only boring and annoying than this current situation.
Pomni
PAIN PAIN PAIN
Hell, reader, she is the newest character in the circus, she doesn't have an ounce of sanity to deal with something like this.
Everything inside Pomni seems to scream at her to do something but all she feels are her hands shaking like it's the European winter, her brain itching and the butterflies that were once in Pomni's stomach vomit and die.
She get's out all glitched out(and traumatized), but nothing will describe the agonizing silence after panicked screams and tears shed from the unsuccessful help.
For Pomni, Even though things are the same, everything sounds like the first time she came here again. Everything sounded like a headache, even though she can't get that stuff in the digital world.
Pomni didn't put you on a pedestal, she still has Ragatha as a friend. But, god, you were such a angel for her, someone she genuinely admired. And then, you simply disappeared like a dry leaf in the wind.
Of course Pomni blames herself for this, if only she could have been there for you before, helped you more, calmed you down more. Pomni's confidence only dropped after these events.
Ragatha is one of the only ones who really has open arms for Pomni to vent and have a shoulder to cry on. She's the second one she trusts most besides you. Oh, what am I talking about, she's now the only one Pomni really trusts now.
Gangle
Dont do this to my Gangle, reader... :(
Gangle can't use another comedy mask after what just happened to them and to you. Gangle can't just act like nothing happened to their lover. It was supposed to be you and them, forever, even in the worst places, why did this had to happen to you?!
This big episode- no, three seasons of depression didn't seriously bother the others, Jax was mildly irritated and Ragatha was worried, but it didn't hurt anyone other than Gangle themselves.
Rmember how sad Gangle is all the time? They are still sad but now multiplied by a hundred. Suddenly, everything, everyone, even themselves just felt useless, they can't even bring themselves to get up from the floor, It was as if the accumulation of sadness took physical form, and it was a giant gym weight of one hundred kilos.
Caine lied to Gangle once, saying that if If they participates in this adventure he could bring you back. The host's plan was to get Gangle back in the high spirits, but this only resulted in they becoming brutally competitive.
Everyone just sounds hard and boring, talk to others is hard, and get out of their bedroom sounds boring. Why leave?! They didn't woke up in your warm arms.
I wouldn't be impressed if Gangle suddenly had a tantrum, seeing the extent of their misery. Blaming everything and everyone for your disappearance, being the reason stupid or not.
They just miss you so much :(
Jax
Jax would never admit to being desperate, or even scared, when he saw you in that shape. Your mind shifts, and in a matter of seconds, you turn into a giant monstrosity he never thought you would become.
Process that you just... Poof, gone, was slow and silent for Jax. His pride couldn't process something that would leave him shaken.
The first few weeks Jax was just angry, angry and angry. He yells at Caine, Ragatha, Gangle, anyone who even slightly irritates Jax will end up getting into an argument with him. Just like I mentioned in the Zooble scenario, blindly, this just shows that Jax can't get over his loss.
The rabbit's frequent comedic sarcasm has now just turned into a sarcasm that he uses to aggressively retort against others. And the comments are few now.
Everything sounds so painfully boring without your stupid face and your dork personality, it itches his heart and stomach in ways it never did. He's just...stressed.
I believe that Jax is the character who heals the fastest from his loss among all other ones, at least a month and at most three or five. He just needs some consolations to get his ego back to its original size. Don't get him wrong, obviously he misses you.
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horrorshow · 6 months ago
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Can you talk about why you think blocking and moving on is a bad thing? I thought it was a way to curate your space and avoid drama
idk maybe i'm too idealistic but fandom is a much more friendlier, welcoming, supportive, creative, engaging, active, diverse and interesting space when it's treated like a community where people are encouraged to participate and talk about their interests and where there's space for niche or more unpopular opinions without these people having to worry about being blocked and feel unwelcome by the majority of the fandom they are in. i can't stand how blocking everyone you disagree with has become the first thing to do.
you say its 'to curate your experience'. but blocking people does not only curate YOUR experience. you're also forcefully curating other users' experiences. and not for the better.
people say 'i will block you for literally anything' and then those same people wonder why engagement is down, why no one sends asks, why no one reblogs, why rarely anyone talks in the tags anymore and why this place feels so dead and boring and quiet. i wonder why!!!!
people treat real people as annoying ads they can dispose of at their whim. but that's not how a fandom or a site like tumblr works. (besides, if you really care about people curating their own experience you wouldn't block people. you can filter and blacklist and never see them again while still granting them the same freedom instead of actively making their experience worse.)
you say its to avoid drama. but seeing a post you dont agree with is not 'drama'. and blocking is not solving anything except for you personally. fandom was more fun when we remembered that every user is a real person you share a space with, and probably some mutuals as well, so you find a way to live with each other. starting with a restraining order seems a bit excessive and is not contributing to anything. it's not that hard to be respectful and tolerate others and acknowledge people have different opinions and interests and still co-exist in peace. its not that hard to be nice to people and try to find common ground with them and interact with the stuff you DO like. you do this in every aspect of your real life, so why not online?
i hear you say: 'but that requires WORK and i don't NEED to do any of that bc i can just block them'.
yeah, you can try to create your own bubble and only hang out with like minded people but you wont EVER fully achieve that (no matter how much you block, social media WILL keep feeding you posts you disagree with bc it makes them money). social media WILL pressure you into an 'us vs. them' mentality where you constantly feel like everything online is a threat or an argument you have to win and where being mean and unnuanced gives you the most notes and where you don't even see, let alone be able to treat, other users as people anymore bc you don't interact with them anymore other than to block or fight them. that's not how i want it to be online. it's not fun to me. and maybe i'm a pessimist but i think it will eventually be the death of online fandom and sites like tumblr. look at the state of twitter right now. DOES blocking give you a better experience in the long run? i doubt that it does. overall, i think it makes people even less tolerable and more vulnerable to hate and fear mongering, and social media an even more hostile place.
it's everything i hate about social media and everything i want to fight against and WILL fight against. i won't pretend my meager contribution will change anything, but i LIKE to just scroll past posts i don't vibe with and not see every argument online as a personal offense. it keeps me curious. most posts aren't that bad when you know the person behind it. i mean, you do you, i'm not gonna say what you should or shouldn't do bc that's up to you, but i recommend it: free yourself of the block button and bring back supportive user communities based on a shared love for the same thing and focus on what you have in common with people, just like you would do in real life. save the block button for the rotten apples who DO keep trying to pick fights and exclude others.
(which is, now that i think about it, probably the main difference: most people see the block button as a neutral way to prevent worse. but. that's only the case on an individual level. and treating everything online as an individual choice to which there are no further consequences, especially if they happen on a larger scale, is already a loss.)
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strangebiology · 6 months ago
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I think a lot of the people in my life who have expressed disgust or disapproval of my interest in/collection of animal remains have come at it first from the perspective of "but diseases!" like regular uncleanliness stigma. the second most common reaction is that interest in/collection of/comfort with animal remains (to be clear, i collect bones and sometimes preserved tails or pelts and these are the objects in question) is... creepy? and, the people who are most disgusted/creeped out are usually people who by and large dont interact with wild animals or livestock. my friends who are vet techs or who hunt or who practice animal husbandry are more or less unfazed.
(Re: What are actual common attitudes towards animal remains?)
Interesting, thank you!
Now, I'm wondering if people mistake personal discomfort for immorality.
I've mentioned my one video that did get some negative comments, showing the slaughter of a reindeer (you can see it here but I have warnings on it for a reason! Blood and death!) And, I think 90% or so (I suppose I could go count them) are more reasonable.
First, people are mad at the assumption that I killed a reindeer (I did NOT kill it, I just filmed it.) Then, the issue is it's being killed for no reason (it was NOT no reason, it's for food.) Then the method is criticized (this is one of the ONLY legal ways to kill them and it's quicker than it looks because of post-mortem spasms.) Then, when those concerns are disproven, the only issue left is "filming and posting it is sadistic." So...killing was no problem, but showing anyone that their meat came from a death was a problem. (Again, I respect if you don't want to see it! So please heed the warnings unless your desire to know how reindeer are killed outweighs your discomfort with watching a death!)
I wonder if sometimes people are overly focused on prioritizing their own 5-second comfort over things that matter a lot more, but are external to them, and they don't really care about others who they are not currently looking in the face of at all.
This isn't a 100% relevant example, but consider the people who don't want to donate their organs after death. A common reason to forgo something that could save and improve lots of lives is "it sounds gross!" Ickiness really should not be a factor in whether or not to save lives--the donor will never see or feel it, but since it's not their own life being saved, the 5-second icky feeling when checking the "donor" box is suddenly more important than the saved and improved human lives.
I know I shouldn't think too hard about one random experience, but I will always remember this one. I was once at a consumer survey thing for a turkey meat brand, where participants tried the meat and said what we thought about the name, taste, packaging, branding etc. We were instructed to circle what we liked on the branding and cross out what we didn't like.
One participant crossed out the part where it said "humanely raised." I asked if she had made a mistake, or...does she feel like the label is disingenuous or something...? Surely she's pro-humane treatment of animals, right??
"No," she said. "I don't want them to do that. I don't want to think about their lives when I'm eating them, and they don't need to be humane to animals that are going to die anyway." Most of the group agreed. I couldn't help but point and say "YOU'RE gonna die anyway!"
That may have been the first time I encountered a group of people shamelessly agreeing that they would rather animals suffer unnecessarily than think for one second that the animal whose body they are using/eating was ever even alive. Because not feeling guilty about something was infinitely more important to them than any amount of suffering that someone else might experience.
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exols-silver-christmas · 4 months ago
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So I can't be the only one who's noticed the decline in fanmade exo content here on Tumblr. We've gone from a fandom who's new posts could be measured in hours to a fandom who's posts have days....to weeks....to months....to even years for some specific tags.
We have had 6 solo album comebacks this year, 3 fancon tours, 2 solo concert tours, a myriad of festival concert appearances, youtube videos, magazine shoots, instalives, etc. Yet if you go to the exo tag it's mainly populated by archive blogs. And the nude bots, which....that's a whole other problem on its own. I digress. My point being, the tags, at least from what I've seen (I admit I haven't looked into the shipping tags) are being filled by the same handful of blogs yet given the high amount of source material, no one seems to be doing anything with it beyond archiving it.
Again this could just be because I didn't delve too deep or too far back, but it does have me wondering if part of the reason participation this year was down was simply because there's hardly anyone left.
There's been instances in the past where others have attempted to inject new life into the fandom so to speak, with....varying...level of success. The exo revival project being the first and most successful that comes to mind. I'm wondering what everyone else's thoughts are on the matter and if holding new fandom events might be a way to involve more people year round because I really do want to continue holding this event next year but if things keep going the way they have been there won't be anyone signing up.
Let me know what you think, ideas you might have, reblog this and tag your mutuals to get them involved in the discussion. I have a few ideas that I've pilfered from other fandoms, watch alongs. Fic bingo. Theres valentines exchanges. Fandom sleepovers. Heck I'd set up a Tumblr based scavenger hunt if I thought people would play. Like....we dont have to be monoliths in a placid sea of we don't want to. Fandom can be fun. It should be fun.
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