#ITS REALLY EXPENSIVE FOR SOME REASON…
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✨ build a bear released their Sylveon! 💖
#build a bear#sylveon#ITS REALLY EXPENSIVE FOR SOME REASON…#i want it but i have to wait for a sale#pokemon#pokémon#plush#plushie#plushies#plushblr#plushcore#toycore#kidcore#bab#babw#best#eeveelutions
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a lotta stressful irl stuff happening right now so ive taken the bold creative decision to become attached to a random fictional character. on an unrelated note does anyone else think that adachi persona 4's character sprites are like, really lewd
look at this loser's face. i want to trap him inside a hamster cage and feed him cabbage
#text#i dont even go here#but yknow its not that expensive on steam maybe i should just get it lol#his expressions are pure eroticism to me idk idk#hes activating my cute aggression for some reason. i want to punch him#maybe its just aggression#i also find it fascinating his japanese va actually sounds goofier than the eng va#like to the point where i kind of can't take him seriously#usually its the inverse#but i really like it either way#also whats the ship name between him and yu........... can somebody please tell me#i require critical yaoi information...........
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you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.
There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.
#like so much of their dynamic (esp but not exclusively in S3) has been about showing the ways that carmy's trauma and dysfunctional#attitude in the kitchen impacts other people and how even though he cares about syd and wants their partnership to work he keeps self#sabotaging and setting himself and by extension her and the restaurant up to fail and replicating the same toxic environments that#he grew up and trained in and this is very much consistent with his character and a natural continuation of the conflicts they've been#having since S1 but because him being shitty with her runs contrary to them getting together suddenly its 'ruining the story' and#out of character and only happening bc the writers just hate to see this ship winning and like. if you really think that i genuinely don't#know what show you've been watching bc it sure as shit wasn't this one. like it hurts to see him do this because you know#they could do something genuinely great together and that he's ruining a really good thing but this is also the reality of where he is rn#if he was just a good and supporting business partner and not deeply dysfunctional it would be wildly out of character#the problem w S3 wasn't that it 'ruined' their relationship it's that it had no clear focus overemphasized carmy's arc at the expense#of the other leads deprioritized the supporting cast while failing to give them their own arcs gave more screen time to#unecessary and uninteresting new 'comic relief' characters and let conflicts stagnate without resolving them or#letting them evolve over the course of the season.#this isn't exclusive to the bear this is a general trend ive noticed where as soon as the 'shipper' part of people's brains get activated#it's like they lose the ability to read the story any other way and it stops being about what's good for the narrative and starts being#about whether or not these two people kiss and anything that gets in the way of that is bad and anything that brings it closer is good#and it's usually whatever but it's really frustrating when the story ppl are doing that to is this good#it also makes people fundamentally incapable of treating any 'obstacle' to that romance in a way that isn't wildly meanspirited and#gross (esp bc those characters are usually women) which is exhausting. like no claire isn't evil or a 'pick me' or 'bad' for carmy#or a useless addition to the story or whatever other nonsense you guys have decided must be true to feel okay. she's a perfectly normal#character and their relationship is exploring some of the ways that carmy's inability to deal with or actually address his trauma#impacts the various relationships in his life. she doesn't even have to be a monster or a narrative mistake for him and syd to be#'destined' for each other or whatever. this isn't a middle school wattpad fic.#im definitely gonna get killed in the street for this but ive been looking for a good reason to spend less time on here so might as well#the bear#sydcarmy#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto
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#oc#rex#dragon#closerverse#doodle#made up the font to the left it's Sci Fi Future English TM#reads 'rex's radio repair'#he does do this for the record. he likes machineray and he likes radios and he will repair your shit for free#this is another reason people tolerate his horrible attitude and unpleasant demeanor.#its largely like if once every two or three months some guy would show up on your block ostensibly to drop off packages#and while he was there he just fixed your cell phone because he was bored#and then sent your mail off for you and left#and while he might be generally kind of a prick and not a lot of fun to talk to he's out of there fast enough#oh. and he'll fix it with spare things lying around or by using the materials already in there#which is nice in a world without consistent shipping or easy supply lines#closerverse is still on a 'things are more expensive than labor' system but labor is also expensive there.#specialty materials are just REALLY expensive#favorite
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Donnie describing the destruction of his space as preventable because all of this was preventable had he just been more useful and less annoying and quieter and smarter and smaller and scarce until needed.
How the family meeting had settled in how much the issue wasn’t what he did but more so what he was, and the only thing he needed to take from it was that he needed to hate himself as much as they hated him.
Or how three out of the eight messages he sent to Leo were apologies, but Leo doesn’t want to hear it if he doesn’t even know what he’s apologizing for, he’s only doing it so he’ll keep stroking his ego, and god Donnie do you ever shut the fuck up? Leo says please don’t apologize and Donnie says nothing in response. Because the only thing worse than them not accepting his sorry’s was tell me what you’re saying sorry for, and even when he said the right thing he was still wrong in the end.
!!!!! YOUUUU GET IT ESPECIALLY WITH THE LEO THING. that "please dont apologize" is LOADED in like four different ways, especially knowing the inner turmoil that it must have stemmed from; the thing leo and donnie have the MOST in common is that they have a tendency to run their mouth when theyre nervous, and even leo's "apology" (NOTE: this has always been intentional, but donnie calls it one, but leo never even said the words "im sorry" in those messages. donnie just grasped for straws because he was scared of their relationship falling apart) leo is kind of run-on and rambling and making excuses and being long-winded, but that curt three-word response after so much deliberation speaks of so, so much pain. and he doesn't even realize its one of the worst things he could have possibly said. he was probably laying in bed because splinter tried to get him to sleep, his heart falling more and more when donnie just left him on read, desperately trying to grasp for closure that he knew he was never going to get.
they used to be so talkative and now their voices have been taken from them because they both feel like there's nothing they can say to make it better. the coping mechanisms they used to fall back on in order to hide insecurity were ripped apart by the curse, leo because they were weaponized and twisted from something that he mostly used to show his family a good time to something vicious and cruel and manipulative and donnie because he was made to feel like a horrible person and a "liar" for them, so they're reacting in really similar ways in the end. literally despite the horrifying trauma they still find a way to twin LMFAO
#ask#canary continuity#leo is a lot of things and he can go too far but hes not a bully#at WORST he is annoying and that isnt an excuse for most of what happens to him#he gets nasty in the movie but he was put in an extremely stressful position he didnt want#he wanted raph to take it back from him so he was being extra obnoxious#and he does in the face of his mistakes make an effort to fix them#he jumps for the key instead of letting the escape pod take him for a reason. he wants to prove to himself hes capable#all of them can struggle with seeing past themselves but theyre kids its normal#but now leo has to think about the way some of the strongest parts of himself were USED#hes clever and he used it to tear someone he loved APART piece by piece#it genuinely feels shitty to joke. he doesnt think he can stomach it. especially not at someones expense#its really not too different from donnie thinking they dont want to hear him#to the point of even getting terrified when hes literally just infodumping to soothe himself#just because april's in proximity#TWINNING!!!!!!!!#ahahahaha fcuk
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my sonic cds btw . i ❤️ physical media
#just posting a bunch of the random sonic stuff i have today i guess#also the crush 40 cd isnt exclusively sonic it has some of their other stuff too but . included it anyway. for obvious reasons#also also i have two copies of true colors i just only included one in the picture#the seller i got it from gave me a bonus copy for some reason#frontiers was my first full game soundtrack i really want more .. especially want unleashed but that one is usually ridiculously expensive#so . probably never getting it lmao#but id also like to have sa2 or shth eventually . those are two of my favorite soundtracks#also love that its all normal sized single disc albums and then theres the giant 6 disc monster thats the frontiers ost
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u know what i've been thinking about. how the economy expects you to be, right now, at a job you've been at and consistently getting raises in for like, ten years. it's almost like the implication is "well yeah, you'll be able to live off this job in three, five, ten years if you stick with it and grow in the company" which is all fine and dandy, but i kind of need to live right now
#the queen of trash has spoken#rewrote this post six times and it turned into an essay both times and i don't really need it to lol#also thinking about the graphic i saw this morning that said the average spending power of $100 here is $41 compared to the national averag#which i guess? min wage is just over $16 here. but uhhhhhhhh i think my city is one of the most expensive in the state as far as cost of#living goes (not hard since we're the second largest city in a state of three decent sized cities and mostly large towns)#and its just crazy bc i look at my coworkers some of whom haven't been there much longer than me#who have kids and a house and stuff#and i realize oh. their husbands are engineers or lawyers. plus they're probably making more than me because they're team leads or managers#or have been there longer. meanwhile my 25 year old ass is making $20 an hour and my boyfriend is making $18 an hour#both doing highly-specialized work#and like. the idea that in ten years if i last that long both in the company and in this mortal coil#THEN i'll be making a living wage (in today's money)#is like. so wack! considering the fact that people really aren't staying in jobs for very long for various reasons#and for some positions the only way to get a raise is to move to a whole new company#it's just crazy! the fact that a 25 year old with a bachelor's degree can't even afford a fucking APARTMENT.#like everyone should be able to have housing obvs and the obvious solution to this is a universal basic income#but the fact that my experiencce in the economy is so different from my brothers (who is seven years older than me) and COMPLETELY#unrecognizable to that of my parents when they were my age. like i know billionaires are totally disconnected from reality#but in what universe is this a successful economy? /rq i know the answer i promise
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Was having a good day after that HCQ stream but I’m :’D
#having a really bad flare up today#the pain is so bad#it scares me#it scares me so much#i just hope i can walk fine on my own tomorrow#if i cant#i dunno how ill be able to go to work#i probably will bc i have my meds when i get like this i can still end up walking#but it scares me so much still#bc what if its just one of those random times that i get it that suddenly i have to go back to the doctor#i hate thiss#im glad to be getting treatment but it takes forever to get it and its so goddamn expensive#i dont even have a proper diagnosis yet#just some bloodwork and imaging as i wait for an appointment#and i still need to see if i can be tested for eds too if theres a genetic clinic somewhere#sorry to vent here a bit just having a very hard time#i hate my body sometimes#for many reasons but partially for the pain#i just turned 19 last month#i shouldnt be stuck in my bed unable to sleep bc of pain so unbearable#when i havent even injured myself its just the way my body is#chronic pain is a bitch
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Hilarious that The Guardian published this and then like a week later the film was on the verge of completely dropping out of Netflix's top ten and it's audience score on RT sunk to 59%.
#“it's no 1 on netflix so it must be liked”#guys netflix counts like watching a minute as a full view#topping their charts is virtually meaningless#and it is really bad if a film then can't stay in the top ten after just two weeks of release#like all snyder's films this will generate a lot of talk online#because they are just catnip for clickbait sites#but the majority of people who watched it clearly just didn't like it and likely switched off before it finished#this is not going to be the start of some new mega popular fictional universe#which is partly why it failed#snyder and netflix clearly deluded themselves into think this was going to be some ip cash cow#and put so much focus on worldbuilding at the expense of what limited story they already had#its like making a new hope but three times as long so you shove in all the back story from the prequels#unsurprisingly that didn't click with audiences#the reason the first star wars worked so well is because it didn't get bogged down in lore and worldbuilding#and remained focused on the central plot and the character pulled into it#the story came first#the worldbuilding came later as the story unfolded#but like with the dceu there was a rush here to get to franchise asap#and as before it has clearly backfired#i doubt the second part will be any better#nor will the extended cuts make everyone massively re-evaluate these films
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i only ever had one lego set as a child, and it was a attack of the clones dooku with speeder bike vs yoda set. i ended up losing the minifigs when i tried to look for them as an adult, and they didn't come with me for the move
#i remember being really sad i couldn't find lego yoda back when lego star wars was having its big meme resurgence#i still have his lightsaber though. for some reason it didnt vanish#i did have a lot of fun playing with the dookster and yoda in my childhood though. it got a lot of mileage#it sucks how expensive legos are#considering taking up legos as an interest in my mid to late thirties
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oh i would could and should draw but ghhhhhggg rock candy...
#snap chats#i survived grocery shopping //demonic screeching//#i bought a new clay pot and can opener while i was gone :) i went over budget 🧍♂️#WHAT DID I EVEN BUY i finally got eggs <3<3<3<3<3<3 24 of them <3 <- i will finish this in two weeks#i really wanted to find kimchi but i couldnt find it in the market i was checking... i did buy mangosteen tho :)#which turned out more expensive than i thought itd be 🧍♂️ ANYWAY#while i was at the asian market i Of Course happened upon the candy isle#and i saw those little star rock candies aka Konpeito#mental illness took over... i couldnt Not think of honnouji hotel so i said 'ok Oda Nobunaga are these hype or not'#and ive eaten half the bag </3 ITS LITERALLY JUST COLORED SUGAR and yet im being reminded of my youth#wherein i would just eat sugar cubes.. but these are so much crumblier and fun to eat... oops..#anyway im not grocery shopping for another month <3 probably <3 i mean im going home next month so.. lol#and then semester's practically over.. so yeah ill be fine#im so excited to cook with my pot tho.. i bought pork floss and i reaaallyy wanna try it in a rice ball..#i saw my fave filipino youtuber do that once.. and pork floss delicious as is I ALMOST BOUGHT A BIG FUCK-YOU JAR#AND THEN I SAW A SMALLER MORE REASONABLE SIZED CONTAINER#you know whats wild. technically my dad's a filipino youtuber. he had a youtube account for A Month during the pandemic#and the other month he was remembering and he was like 'why did i do that 🧍♂️' LOL#ok im rambling im gonna eat this whole bag. NO IM NOT i also got match sweet roll cakes <3 i swear i didnt just buy sweets just these two#andallthefruit I SWEAR I BOUGHT LIKE MEAT AND VEGETABLES i just had some already.. i really did just need eggs to cook..#ok im rambling BYE im gonna make matcha tea so i feel better#if i draw anything it'll be a miracle
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one of the 2 sets of bluetooth earbuds i have in rotation rn is dying and ngl bc of the way i use these things, i suspect the other set will soon die as well. they've lasted roughly... 2.5 years? i believe i got this phone, and so those earbuds on the same day, in spring of 2021. they've served well enough, i think. i was already going to buy another of the same thing in a different color, to replace my set of godawful true wireless buds so i have a set i can use with my laptop at a distance (it luckily has a 3.5mm jack, so that's what i usually use, but i've found i want to be able to use the bluetooth audio with it as well), so i'm just buying 3 different colors all at once, since they're not overwhelmingly expensive and i sooooooort of have the cash on hand? i'd rather not have done it this way but there is literally nothing worse than being caught with a malfunctioning pair of primary use earbuds
#myposts#personal log#one of them is either going to be blue or purple and im not really sure which#im hoping for purple? to replace the purple set i currently have in rota? but if it's blue i wont mind#as long as they WORK#i would have liked the teal but they were several dollars more expensive for some reason#and i didnt wanna spend more than 15 each#i actually need to get at least one new set of wired buds as well but since im getting a wireless set for my new laptop#its not as high a priority#i still use my old laptop which doesnt have bluetooth for some things but im mostly doing audio on the new one
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hit tag limit on the last post cos i started talking about roller coasters again 😔
#toy txt post#wish there was a way for me to like. Do. something. with my roller coaster hyperfixation. but im not an engineer i dont want to design them#thats so scary and i couldnt be a ride op cos im scared of riding most of them (disclaimer I KNOW HOW SAFE THEY ARE THATS NOT THE PROBLEM#I DONT HANDLE THE PHYSICAL EXPERIENCE OF THRILL RIDES FILLING ME WITH ADRENALINE VERY WELL IT CAUSES ME PAIN#i do not enjoy it. but i love to see coasters and watch them and read about them 🥺 and also sometimea i read about. the incidents which#felt like very foolish at first like okay this isnt gonna help me get comfortable riding them but honestly actually it did help?#to see how many of the incidents are like. truly like either freak accidents or someone fucked up#but like the rides safety mechanisms usually are very good and not the reason for an accident. most errors seem to be like. act of god or#like. operator or rider error. and some of the operator errors are kind of terrifying BUT ALSO seem like things that can be prevented#maybe the new wave of unionizing in the us will sweep into theme park employees and make sure theyre paid well and recieve good benefits#and that they are not pressured to prioritize profits or faster throughput at the expense of safety. and (really optimistic i know) maybe#we as a society and culture can unlearn our systemic fatphobia to the point that its doable to turn someone away for being#too big to ride safely without making them feel like shit or like its their fault and MAYBE we'll even possibly just maybe figure out how#to make rides that can actually accommodate larger guests safely so they can participate in the fun without fear or bodyshaming#logically i know theres no way to remove 100% of risk and that there is still heightened risk especially for ppl w various#medical conditions but idk i think we as a society can keep theme parks and do them well. i believe in us.#i should go to more of them....ive been to like. not that many but i do still have favorites#hershey my beloved. i LOVE how visible all the coasters are all the time i LOVE the skyview going right through great bears track#i hope i can go again this yr and see the new wildcat 🥺 absolutely not going to ride that fucking thing but i am definitely going to stare#at it. jenn if youre reading this i cannot fucking believe you got me to ride og wildcat honestly#p sure that rattle gave me a headache and i would not do it again that was a rough fucking ride lol but im glad u somehow got me into that#i have. such a complicated relationship with being peer pressured onto rides lol#like on the one hand i do need that a little bit or i definitely wont do it but on the other. being forced onto comet as a child was#slightly traumatizing and definitely marked my turn from wanting to ride all the coasters to jot wanting to ride anything#to my parents credit on that one they do recognize it as a mistake and were sorry about it like immediately so i dont hold it against them#but also dont. force ur children to ride coasters lol. but i do need to go spend a day at hershey just forcing myself to ride great bear#over and over. fav coaster best coaster. its so fucking loud. its shaped so good. pretty color scheme. its constellation themed#i do love and am obsessed with how hershey packs all those tracks together like that it looks so cool i love to see it#candymonium right at the entrance like that is Extremely distracting very immediately
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as happy as i am for lissie and marcus (even though I knew they were already together because I literally watched them make out with my own two eyes) it was honestly my last straw. I’m so tired of seeing everybody on my social feeds happy and in relationships when I’ve just had the worst week of my life and have basically given up on falling in love because if I can’t even drive how am I going to go to places where I’ll meet people?!?!? i have spent every Valentine’s Day alone while my friends go on elaborate dates and I’m just so so tired
not the make out sesh 😩 oh to see them with my own two eyes irl... what a pretty sight it would be
this got quite personal and hit a little too close to home so im putting a lil keep reading thing
love :(( i’m truly sorry you feel this way... but god i felt this ask so much... first of all, i'm really sorry about you having a bad week. it's completely fine to feel the way you're feeling, it must really suck, but i'm sure you'll get the license and you'll be driving shortly!! i am keeping my fingers crossed for you ❤️
i’ve always been very calm about relationships and love, very much “i’m not in a rush” and “it’ll come when it’s time”. i’ve always been a hopeless romantic but i haven’t been stressed about it – i’ve always been so busy that i haven’t really had time for love, and i've been okay with hearing about friends and their great love lives while i've spent pretty much every weekend and holiday alone at home. but… eventually, it becomes exhausting, you know? when falling in love for real just seems so far away and like something so hard to achieve in some way....
i also kind of feel you on the driving part... i decided not to get my license for a bunch of reasons, and idk how i'll get around without driving... but also as i am still living with my parents, it just seems impossible to meet someone, because where would i bring them? home to meet my snooping parents?? no way
i think we just gotta hold on to the hope that when it is the right time, it will happen. i don't believe in the whole "don't rush it" thing, i think that we're all allowed to seek and chase love if we want to, but i also think it's okay to take a step back and just breathe and be okay with the situation. unfortunately, our current day society is so formed around relationships, soft launches and hard launches and dinner date pics on insta and public proposal videos, that i feel like the pressure easily gets overwhelming. there's also something in the way that people think other people's love lives is any of their business, like friends and relatives asking me why i don't have a boyfriend, as if a partner is something i need to live my life? surely it would make it better, but i don't need to be reminded and hurt yet again over the fact that i'm alone, when i'm just trying to move on in life...
i'm trying to stay patient, open to any opportunity, and remembering that social media is merely a highlight reel and not reality. i hope you too can find peace in remembering that things will get better, we just have to work through this first. we will get through it and come out stronger on the other side. darling, if you ever need something from me, want to rant, or anything else, know that my messages and inbox are always open 💗
#ive really liked seeing drivers and their partners recently#but i think that in some way it's just like a coping mechanism to cope with the fact that im so very alone#i think it originates in the wish of being one of them even though i do feel very realistic and dont actually believe that it could happen#but i mean honestly#if we werent even the tiniest bit delusional#would we be here writing and reading the self insert fics??#like sure i dont do it just for that reason#i love writing and i love fiction no matter what kind and blah blah#but we could've all been reading random scifi or romance fics instead and yet so many people get stuck on celebs x reader#housing is really expensive in my city so not a lot of people move out early (like pretty much none of my friends have moved out)#and i just dont get how they manage to have partners and still live at home? are their parents not crazy like mine??#i am supposed to be moving out soon though but rn idk how that would change my situation#still have to deal with social anxiety and shit#this ask hurt so much#ive been hitting a pretty rough patch recently aswell and im kind of thinking that i need to break down fully to be able to build myself up#but its so goddamn scary#idk why im oversharing and ranting so much shfkdjf i apologize#i really hope you find happiness and a great love#i truly admire you for working through this despite how hard it all is#why does it all have to be so exhausting?#asks!
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mannn what the hell the new lps are on the target website now so i was thinking about just ordering them there since target seems to be the main place people in the us are finding them and the only one anywhere near me still doesnt have them and even if they did i cant go right now for various reasons. but they literally refuse to sell them to you online unless you spend 35 dollars or more? hello ive never seen an online store do anything like this before thats so weird
#looking into it i think they just do this with cheaper/smaller items in general but its still weird.#like i cant think of any logical reason for this other than just trying to make people spend more money ?#i guess 35 dollars isnt that much money but i wasnt really wanting or expecting to spend that much#especially when you have to pay for shipping and stuff on top of that which makes it even more expensive#because i was just planning on just getting a small set or a couple blind boxes or something for now and get more if i find them in person#maybe ill just wait... but im worried theyll never show up where i live or that resellers will beat me to them if they do...#because target is usually an only once every two weeks or so thing for me#its not super far but its nowhere near close enouhg for me to be able to check every couple days like some people can#sorry for basically liveblogging my crisis in trying to find these little animals
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the guilt complexes i have are actually insane
#like when i was a kid. maybe 3 or 4. me and my family took a trip to this place and i saw a toy i really wanted#so i asked my mom can i have it and she said no. it was probably too expensive. i cant remember if i understood this or not but#i got very upset and threw a tantrum or whatever. my parents got me some other toy less expensive but i said i hated it#and i wanted the other one#now. i was 3 or 4. very young. children throw tantrums all the time. and for a kid i wasnt very loud either so this was an isolated incident#if any other kid did this i would be like damn. but its not their fault theyre still learning to regulate their emotions!!#most people wouldnt even remember something this stupid#but FOR SOME DUMB FUCKING REASON. i still feel guilty over this?? i still feel like a selfish brat???#like i apologized a million times to my mom that day and even days after. and by now shes probably forgot all about it#i didnt really do anything wrong. logically i know all of this but for some reason i still feel ashamed typing this?#ive done things i actually should be guilty about but COME ON this is so ridiculous why am i hung up on it. my brain. u cannot be serious rn#ok whatever anyway#aricouldyounot
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