luxflora

[luxflora]

Here. Take the Prowls👇👇

[luxflora]

An incomplete taxonomy of esoteric texts:

This text is discussing esoteric subject matter

This text is being deliberately obscure because its author knows they don't have a coherent thesis and they're blowing smoke

This text is written in earnest, but its author has very poor communication skills

This text's translator has misunderstood something that was meant completely literally as a complex metaphor

This text is actually perfectly straightforward in its native language, but every available translation fucking sucks

[luxflora]

i keep getting fines for “excessive water consumption” it’s not my fault that the basement prison cells all need their own toilets and showers. and like the prisoners are not pulling their weight AT ALL. all they do is sleep and be scared of the rats all day instead of painting with the easels i provided so the fines are really putting a financial strain on the household. if i didn’t need them for their plasma i would have killed them all already because this is nottt as financially lucrative as i thought it would be

[luxflora]

I decided I needed to relearn how to paint from reference and wanted to learn how to recreate iridescent textures! So I went on pinterest and found some nice images! These are meant to be impressions, not photorealistic, because I wanted to figure out the most essential parts for creating the effect at a moderately small scale. I also limited myself to a certain set of brushes and pretended I was working on canvas. I learned a lot! Except about the pearls. Those guys are ridiculously complex.

oh yeah these are at 100% working size

[luxflora]

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

[luxflora]

this one goes out to all you sickos on tumblr at 10 am on a monday

[luxflora]

Every time i purchase a moderately expensive item the Karl Marx on my shoulder is like "For shame... you purchase yet another pair of jeans when you have 5 already at home, you despicable commodity fetishist? In my time, a man with five outfits would consider himself blessed beyond measure, and yet you want for more, while there are children starving in the world??" to which the second Karl Marx on my other shoulder says "Objection! Those 5 pairs of jeans all wildly uncomfortable or have holes in the ass, due to the decline of clothing quality driven by the fast fashion industry, unfortunately making this purchase a necessity... Plus, by purchasing a slightly more expensive pair of jeans from an independent brand, seeking quality over 'brand recognition', they are deliberately trying to avoid engaging in conspicuous consumption!" to which the third Karl Marx clinging to my back like that beetle from Doctor Who says "Remember, my friend; the less you eat, drink, buy books, go to the theatre or to balls, or to the pub, and the less you think, love, theorize, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you will be able to save and the greater will become your treasure which neither moth nor rust will corrupt — your capital. Buy the jeans," to which I say "I don't know if any of you have actually read Karl Marx"

[luxflora]

One of the most important things you can teach your kids is when and how to say no to authority figures.

[luxflora]

failgate

[luxflora]

Fandom holidays are wild because you could be like "Its Gazpacho Soup Day Eve!" And people would actually know what you mean.

[luxflora]

oh ok

[luxflora]

the existence of "maybe", "perhaps", "perchance", and "mayhaps" suggests there should also be "maychance" and "perbe"

[luxflora]

what happened to the skeleton war, you guys used to love the skeleton war

[luxflora]

i feel like the knowledge that there are some medical databases with free-to-use 3D scans of various human organs available for 3D printing would have drastically reduced tumblrs amount of bone stealing scandals. plus you can make ones that glow in the dark.

look at my glow in the dark humerus boy

[luxflora]

The funniest one star review of Wicked I've seen so far

[luxflora]

Also I’m just quietly gonna post this colored version of the canon short story implied cannibalism blood in mouth Anders sketch