#hes activating my cute aggression for some reason. i want to punch him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

etherealluminescence · 4 years ago

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op, p l e a s e do this one.

gn-mc is a great fighter according to their profile, but everyone severely underestimates them, since they’re kinda short and they’re thinking it’s to human standards. as soon as they come though the three (Diavolo, Barbatos, Lucifer) realise that the number of fights have gone down, and that RAD is a lot more quiet. Apparently mc had fought all the trouble makers or scary students on a whim, and has forced like 30+ scary demons into pacts, and plans to conquer RAD’s bad students. on top of that, they’re just like “one day i’ll beat the shit out of diavolo too fair and square, and conquer him as well.” for the brothers and undateables. bonus if mc said they only started their “conquest” because someone tried to bully Luke, so they decided to just conquer the demons for him like a good? older sibling

Holy shit OP this is what I signed up for when I started doing headcanons. Recently I’ve been working on my actual novel but I am still writing these out! I decided to answer this first because the creativity just HIT me.

The part that killed me is just how they did it for luke, I love him like my own son. Also side note the goth theme on tumblr hits different I really like. WARNING - a little bit of language, and violence.

Everyone reacting to GN!MC “conquering” RAD’s demons

Lucifer

He had chosen you and noticed your profile, thinking that is was almost cute humans would consider a tiny thing like you strong.

He immediately brushed you off when he saw how close you were to the chihuahua, thinking that you too, are just like a tiny chihuahua then.

But he soon hears less and less about fights going around, and even Diavolo investigates with him, and he is beyond shocked. He severely underestimated you.

He finds out because he forced some lesser demons to talk, and they were in tears saying you forced them to make a pact with you each time they lose, and by your order they weren’t allowed to fight students anymore, or else you’d punish them.

Although it was the truth he didn’t quite believe it, so they followed you around for a day before realising it absolutely was, you kicked ass so hard, the demon was crying and unrecognisable, and you forced him into a pact while snot was even coming out his nose.

He then sees you open the door behind you and take Luke’s hand before walking away from the bloody scene you had just caused. He was slightly angry and a bit intimidated, how did you, a tiny human do that?

When he confronted you about it, you just held onto his shoulders tightly, answering with “I’ll conquer you too, I’ll conquer Diavolo, I’ll conquer all of RAD, fucker. I am going to protect this child with my life.”

He was about to argue back, possibly attack you, but according to all the students investigated, you had well over 50 pact marks by now, and Diavolo found it amusing, so you were let off with that.

He swears he won’t submit to you, and has to stay on high defense because even at the HOL you will try to attack him with murderous intent to get the pact. 0/10, wants a new exchange students.

Mammon

He was the first one you made a pact with, and afterwards he started following you around like a dog, despite literally calling Luke a dog.

He knew you were a good fighter since you kept saying so, but he kept telling you demons were another level, and you should be glad to have him.

You and Luke hung around a lot, while Mammon thirdwheeled, and finally came the day of your first fight. Mammon was ready to defend you, but you ordered him to sit as you beat the literal fuck out of the demon.

Mammon couldn’t tell if that was a lesser demon or a dismembered corpse at that point, and covered Luke due to all of their screaming in agony. When you were done, you kicked their head into a wall and demanded a pact, making him slightly pouty but happy he’s alive:

Getting the pact, you left and gave a head pat to both Luke and Mammon, telling them that they’re safe with you. Mammon didn’t like it at first but then he loved it.

It didn’t take Lucifer long to find out, and when you told him with such confidence that you’d “conquer all of RAD, including Diavolo” he was like woah!! You’re going to die for that, but you’re amazing!!

And then you didn’t die, because Diavolo found it funny, and you were only serving justice to those who cause mayhem at the moment, so it was fine. He also accidentally finds out that you rival Lucifer in power, and absolutely won’t let Lucifer punish him, because in your words, “Mammon is my property now, whore.”

You were the only person to protect him, and he absolutely loves you, he may be weaker than you, but he loves staying by your side and saying he’d beat people up for you anyways.

Leviathan

Levi never really talked to you at first, nor found out about the incidents because he didn’t go to school, but when he heard Mammon talking about it he thought he was exaggerating a lot.

Even Lucifer said you were strong, but he refused to believe it at first, even denying the pact marks you had. Until you beat the life out of Levi during the TSL games.

He got angry at you and tried to kill you, so you ripped him apart, quite aggressively. He swore his tail had bite marks in them, and that he couldn’t see out of his left eye for a week. The icing on top was you demanding a pact from him. He finally believed.

After you calmed, he made a pact with you, and was now afraid of you, until you comforted and apologized to him, telling him he did try to kill you first.

When Luke comes over one day, you invite him into Levi’s room, no permission, and start to talk, and when Levi tries to make fun of him, Mammon shuts his mouth.

“Luke is the whole reason they decided to start their conquest, the whole school knows that by now!” Mammon shushed him, and Levi began feeling a little jealous that the chihuahua got more of your attention than him. But when he hears that you ALSO want to conquer Diavolo, he’s just like !?!!??? You’re crazy.

But more than that you’re like some over powered anime protagonist who got sucked into a different world with over powered plot armor, Levi thought, and he really liked it.

Begs you to come with him when he’s trying to buy stuff in lines, so anyone who tries to cut gets the life beat out of them when they do.

Satan

Absolutely member #2 of your fan boy club, Diavolo being the first one in it.

He thinks oh yeah, you can fight sure. But when he witnesses it he absolutely loses his mind. A human shouldn’t be that strong, but the way you force a pact mark from them, and even defended the tiny chihuahua before leaving, while being tiny yourself, he was interested in how your body worked.

But what really excited him and made him like you is when Lucifer entered the room and you sent a flying kick to him, putting up a harsh fight as well, before you break the table when you were knocked into it, calling it a tie.

“I swear one day I’ll conquer you and force you to make a pact with me. I’ll wipe that smug look off your face, fucker. And once I do that, I’ll beat the shit out of your prince, too.” You spat, getting up and holding your back.

So now you went from protecting the chihuahua to devildom domination? Basically asks you to make a pact with him so you can use him to fight Lucifer. When you tell him you want a fair fight, and that you’ll beat Lucifer yourself, he’s just so excited because you held your own for five minutes, and Lucifer can’t even kill you!

Literally tags along each time you decided to fight Lucifer and cheers you on so hard. Will purposely try to make you and Lucifer run into each other at the halls, so you automatically try to hurt him.

Please tell him not to eat so much popcorn, we know the show is good but it’s like he has boxes of them now knowing you’re hating? on Lucifer like him.

Asmodeous

Has absolutely freaked out and began cowering in a corner, shaking, begging you anywhere but the face.

He came to watch the show of you beating up a demon, not realizing it was you at first. When he did, he was so shocked and got closer to make sure.

You mistook him for the demon’s crew who made fun of look and tried to attack, seeing red. He held his own for a minute, before you almost rip off his wing in one swing.

He’s begging for forgiveness like the demons, despite not doing anything wrong at all. When you calm and realize it’s just human, you make the other demons unrecognizable and get your pacts, before making your way to him.

He’s just crying not his face, while you just say “Pact mark.” Pointing out you won fair and square against him, too.

He gives it too you beyond willingly, just not his face, he doesn’t even think twice. Nodding, you take Luke’s hand and leave.

He has to leave too for then next class, but then sees Lucifer, Diavolo, and Barbatos confront you.

Is afraid for you but then you literally punch Lucifer and tell him you’ll conquer him, and then turn to Diavolo and declare his ass as your own, making Asmo secretly swoon but worried.

Actively tried to avoid you while at the HOL for awhile, but noticing your docile nature when you’re not fighting, he felt a little comfortable with you, and right now his only concern is how many callouses your hands are getting from punching thick skulls.

Beelzebub

This man wanted to believe you when you said you were a strong fighter in passing conversation with him, but he just couldn’t. You were the tiniest creature he’d ever seen, and he was so sure you’d crush under one of his hugs.

He heard you were protecting Luke from the whispers of lesser demons, but he didn’t think it was through fighting.

This all changes when on his way to practice, he watches you beat up one of his teammates so hard they’re crying, they’re so huge, and yet lost to you, and the fact you sent him flying and cracked a wall, by one kick.

When you said you wanted a pact mark, he was shocked the rumors were true. On top of that, Luke was near by holding a cake he planned to give Beel as thanks for something he did for him earlier that week.

He watched you wipe the blood off your hand and pat Luke’s head, with a gentle smile. When he came in, Luke ran to him and gave him the cake, and he learned everything.

You were the one subduing the demons around here, big or small, and even protected Luke. He even learned that you challenge three totally strong demons, Lucifer, Barbatos, and Diavolo.

He totally believed you could do it now, with what he just witnessed. He’s seen his fair share of fights with egotistical demons thinking they’re so tough just because they play sports, and he’s seen guys at the gym, you were beyond that.

You had speed, strength, and great perception. Wasn’t even mad that practice was delayed, and began going to the gym with you, and will happily play with Luke too, another older sibling figure for Luke.

Belphegor

When he exited the attic and tried to kill you he watch his brothers grab popcorn from the sidelines, as they said to him enjoy dying.

He was confused at first, but then got the LIVING HELL beat out of him, oh how the turns have tabled. He intended to murder you, but you nearly killed him.

You forced a pact out of him as well, kicking him repeatedly where the sun doesn’t shine until he agreed, understanding why even Lucifer stood back. It’s not because they wanted you dead, it’s because they couldn’t stop you.

When he gains consciousness later, he finds out Lucifer is the only brother you haven’t made a pact with, and that you have over 80 pacts at this rate, and that you even planned to conquer Diavolo.

He thought it was stupid at first but after seeing you fight Lucifer, with no cheats just your normal hands for combat, while Lucifer was in demon form struggling, he understood he really liked you.

“Soooo... when are you beating the shit out of Diavolo?” He asks, and he also nearly makes the mistake of calling Luke a dog before Beel puts a hand over his mouth.

Jaw nearly drops and he loses his mind when he finds out you only started beating the shit out of people to make Luke happy.

Diavolo

This man just fucking cackles, like after watching you fight, he’s just in full tears from laughing. He’s just clapping, and telling you that’s amazing.

When Lucifer asked why you did it, you stood tall despite your short stature, and looked him in the eye with no fear. “I’ll beat each fucker who approached Luke, I’m going to defend him with all my fists got, and if you get in my way, I’ll do the same to you.” You said, before turning to Diavolo.

You walked up to him, and pulled his tie down so he could meet your eyes, and declared, “I’ll even beat the shit out of and conquer you too, one day, prince. I’ll be the ruler of this place one day. Prepare yourself for that day, until then, I won’t stop:”

This makes him laugh, not belittling you, but telling you he can’t wait, and he hopes that day comes soon, because he wants to fight you as well, and he hopes you hold nothing back against him.

He loves how strong you are, he loves how you want to protect Luke, he loves that you only did it to protect, and didn’t even bother to summon a demon, you did it with your own style. That took guts, confidence, and the fact you told him of all people with that confidence you would one day conquer him, his heart fluttered.

He would definitely start watching over you, and probably fan boy over you. The first person to ever force the prince of the Devildom to lower himself; and they even declared they would be the one to make him their’s, by forming a pact mark. It was honestly amazing to him, and he likes it.

Barbatos

He really should of seen this coming, a new fighting student, who was clinging to Luke protectively, and suddenly all the bad demons were being silenced.

Guess there’s no need for his torture chamber anymore, you’re much more feral than whatever he does, he just needs to sick you on them.

Joking aside, he doesn’t really take it too seriously. It’s great you can get a lot of pacts, and defend yourself, and even want to conquer Diavolo by forcing him to give you a pact mark, but he knows you’re still no match for him yet.

To get to Diavolo, you’d need to beat him up, and he’s a bit of a harder fight than Lucifer, by that he means a lot, he won’t even flinch if you bite his tail when he grabs you by it and puts you out the room, with a smile on his face.

It’s become a game at this point for the both of you to try and fight each other, you trying hard to get a pact mark out of him. He even offered it to you at one point, but you told him you wanted to win it fair and square, and he’s just in love with you even more because of that.

He’s pretty much a dad to Luke, so he appreciates how kind you are to him, and appreciates how you have your own set of morals for fighting, making him know that if Diavolo were to ever make a pact mark with you, it would all be fine.

Solomon

“Hey... are you sure you’re not actually the demon?” Solomon asks you, looking at the sheer amount of pact marks on your body, one week after coming to the devildom.

He’s seriously impressed by you, considering how easily you beat up demons without any weapons, magic, or underhanded tactics. You simply use your fists and legs, sometimes your head, but you get the job done scarily.

He’s even more impressed when he finds out the reason, you were visiting purgatory hall and Luke was being rather loud. “I can’t believe that’s the 7th demon this week that fought with you! You’re just so cool, you’re so strong! Thank you for protecting me!”

Probably wants to try to enhance your strength with a potion, and offers it to you when you try to have your epic showdown with Diavolo, claiming he is the boss and Barbatos and Lucifer were his right hand men who dragged Luke into this mess.

You decline though, wanting it to be fair and square. Truly admires yet fears you. But then again, i don’t think you stabbing him would making him afraid of you. I don’t think this man can feel it at all, unless it was you dying.

Anyways, he’s delighted to ask the demons you make pacts with to make pacts with him as well.

Simeon

Nearly loses his mind at first. He’s so concerned if you’re hurt,, but then he’s just like wait what.

Luke had told Simeon all about it when he reached purgatory hall, about how you beat up a demon for him, and even promised to always protect him. Simeon is really distraught you may of been hurt protecting Luke while he was busy.

But then Luke tells him about how you forced a pact mark out of the demon, and you didn’t even break a sweat, and that is was the coolest.

He doesn’t tell Diavolo about this thinking it was just a one time thing, and tries to watch over you two more. But then he sees you and he’s literally just frozen.

Humans aren’t that powerful right? And when Lucifer Diavolo finally confronts you about it, he watches as you just stare him down and declare that you’re going to conquer him as well, to make Luke feel happy and safe in devildom.

Needless to say Simeon is extremely panicked about your well-being, but extremely happy Luke is protected by someone so kind to him. Probably doesn’t approve of the violence, but Luke adores you.

Luke

The first time you met him you told him not to worry about the demons, because if they ever bullied him you would beat the life out of them.

He thought you were just saying that, and he said that he too would protect you, which you found extremely adorable and nearly went “I’m taking this kid home with me and he’s my child now.” not that anyone could physically stop you.

He found out you were actually sincere about it when the two of you were alone in RAD’s hallway, trying to leave for purgatory hall since he invited you over.

You two were stopped by a demon, who tried picking a fight on easy prey, and it was quite frankly, the worst mistake of his life, ever.

You beat the LIVING SHIT out of him, and even told Luke to look away, because this man was beyond recognisable, because you were so small you could easily duck and move fast, so the demon didn’t even land one hit on you.

Just because he’s a demon, doesn’t mean his stamina is forever you figured, and beat him up, forcing him to make a pact with you. You had one with Mammon already, so you knew how it worked, especially knew you could have multiple due to Solomon.

When it was over, you told Luke he could look, and there was zero damage to you and he was just like woah!! You’re so cool! And from then on you stuck close to him, literally demolishing any demon he thought looked scary, or just stared at him for too long.

When Diavolo comforted you about it, you stared him dead in the eyes saying “I would literally beat the shit out of you for Luke, so you better hope he starts liking the devildom soon, fucker.”

Diavolo laughed and Luke insisted you didn’t have to go that far, but you just patted his head and said it was okay.

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me hc #obey me headcanons #obey me headcanon #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me Satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me Simeon #obey me Luke

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fandomwriterstuff · 4 years ago

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Getaway Car

Another plot-filled Rick Flag fic from me! I might add another chapter if this goes over well so let me know your thoughts!

~2.2k words

Rated T

You're the Suicide Squad's getaway driver and you're got a serious crush on their commanding officer, Rick Flag.

You were what one might call a liability in the operation. You weren’t a soldier under Amanda Waller’s thumb, and you weren’t a prisoner that she could threaten. You were purely there for the thrill at first. But you kept coming back for him. Rick Flag. The commanding officer of your dreams, a real hero. You weren’t sure if you idolized him or wanted to fuck him. Maybe it was a bit of both.

But as you sat in the car and eyed up the team sprinting out of the building, you skipped to your getaway song - Brianstorm by Arctic Monkeys - and revved the engine.

“Punch it, Baby!” Harley cackled as the three prisoners (plus Rick) slammed themselves into your vehicle.

You didn’t need to be told twice.

You thought it over as you narrowly evaded enemy trucks and sped down a dirt road. You were technically working for the law, so they shouldn’t need a getaway car, but they always were getting themselves into tight spots so you supposed it made sense.

It was a few minutes of beating drums, wild guitar solos, and Harley’s cackles as the playlist continued (House of the Rising Sun by the Animals came on just as you dared to slow down). You finally looked over to your right, and raised an eyebrow.

“You doing alright, Colonel?” You took stock of the dark, wet blood covering the left side of his face and the way he was cradling his right fist.

“Never better, darlin,” he offered you a signature smirk and you gave a nod before turning back to the road. You were on a main stretch now, paved and full of other vehicles. You’d likely lost your pursuers but it was your job to get away from them, so you kept an eye on the horizon behind you.

“How you always seem to be in the right place at the right time blows my mind, kid,” Boomer huffed a relieved laugh from the backseat.

“That’s sort of my job,” you replied in kind, smirking into the rearview mirror as you pulled onto the highway that would take you straight back to Belle Reve.

“You don’t talk about your job much though, I noticed,” he pushed and you rolled your eyes. You didn’t talk about yourself, and you didn’t talk about how you got into the getaway business.

“I like to have an air of mystery,” you caught the amused smile Rick tried to hide and brushed your hair back out of your eyes.

“What I’m wonderin,” he continued as if you hadn’t spoken, his accent coming through as he leaned forward through the gap between you and Rick. “Is how a pretty young thing like you got involved with a cold hearted bitch like Amanda Waller.”

You tightened your grip on the wheel (hopefully imperceptibly), and offered a light smile over to him.

“We’ve all got a past, Boomerang Man. Mine didn’t land me in prison, but I’m still here working for you weirdos,” you laughed and signaled your exit towards the Louisiana based metahuman prison.

“I’ll get your story some day, sweet cheeks, you’ll see,” he leaned back as you showed your identification to the guard and pulled into the penitentiary.

After you let the three prisoners off at their dropoff location (like a bunch of kindergarteners going to school), you pulled up to the employee parking area.

“You sure you’re alright?” You were quieter this time, worriedly glancing over at Rick again now that you were alone.

“Don’t you go worrying about me, pretty girl,” he pulled out all the stops with the cute pet name and the thousand megawatt smile, eyes warm and inviting. You were a goner, and you immediately dropped the subject. “I’ll see you in the debrief room,” you sighed after he’d closed the door and pulled the vehicle into your spot.

Another day, another debrief with that fucking psychopath Waller.

You smoothed down your jeans and t-shirt, you might work for the (wo)man, but you weren’t about to dress like a stuck up business person, or like a prison guard. You were too young for that bullshit.

“Baby,” Amanda Waller greeted you as you passed her into the meeting room. You hid your smirk, as you always did, when you took your seat. You’d forged all of your documentation upon taking this job, knowing that you didn’t want this woman knowing anything about your personal life. She didn’t know your real name, hell, she might not even know that Baby was your pseudonym. You sort of felt bad that you hadn’t ever told Rick your name, but you couldn’t risk it.

The debrief was a mess. You’d gotten out with the information the team went in for, but two out of the four of them were injured. Including the Colonel.

“Seems like the only person doing their job here is the fucking chauffer,” Waller spat before turning her eyes on a still-bloodied Rick Flag. “You can do better than this,” she spoke quietly before walking out. The others emptied out, leaving you leaning back in your chair, cotton candy pink Barbie™ t-shirt nearly glowing in the fluorescent lighting.

“I think you’re going to give her an aneurysm. She doesn’t know your identity and you don’t follow the dress code,” Rick had his eyes closed at the end of the long table, but he somehow knew you were alone in there together. You bit your lip. So she knew ‘Baby’ was a pseudonym. Good to know.

“She can’t get rid of me, she needs me,” you shrugged, nonchalant, but this was the wrong answer and you knew it immediately. You’d been working with Rick long enough to see the telltale signs of stress. Tightened shoulders, biceps bulging in his uniform, that vein struggling at his throat.

“You should be out there living your life, Baby,” his eyes shot open, darker than you’d ever seen them. “You shouldn’t be working yourself to death for Amanda Waller. Not like me and these guys. You don’t have a reason to be here,” you looked down, picking at the skull ring on your middle finger. You did have a reason. You were addicted to the feeling of being near Rick. You were obsessed with the way he spoke to you, the way he leaned in close when he was joking around with you, the way his eyes lit up when you made him laugh.

“I’m not about to tell you my life story in an audio and visually recorded meeting room,” you finally spoke, tone harsher than you intended. You stood, turned away from him and towards the door, your voice carrying as you exited. “You’re gonna have to buy me a drink if you want to get anything out of me.”

You didn’t look back to see the slack-jawed look on his face as you sauntered out of the debrief room.

You were in the deep swamp lands of Central Florida this time. Not your favorite place to be. You were blasting the air conditioning in the car as Stick Up by grandson blasted through the car stereo, your favorite angry song to listen to. This wasn’t a job you wanted to be on, but you had a contract and you were making money, and you got to work with Rick again, so it was alright. But it was a new team. Harley was out of jail and Boomer was injured from a prison fight. They were the two people you normally worked with other than Rick.

You had a gut feeling that something was going to go down, but you didn’t know what.

“Start the car!” one of the new members shouted and you frowned. The car was on already. But whatever, you shifted into Drive and waited for Rick and Co. to make it to the car. Only it was just the one guy. He hopped into the backseat and stared at you with wide eyes.

“What are you doing, get us out of here!” He was shouting but you aggressively put the car into Park.

“Where’s Rick? Where’s the rest of the team?”

“Dude, get us out of here!” The man was clearly panicking, and you glanced over at the building the team were supposed to infiltrate, biting your lip.

“Baby, why aren’t you moving?” Waller asked in your ear.

“It’s just the circus freak dude, no Rick, and no team members,” you replied calmly. “What are my orders?”

“Get us out!” The circus freak dude in question (you didn’t bother to ask his name), was bemoaning your existence from the backseat and you snapped. You jerked the center console open and pulled out your gun, pointing it back at him.

“Shut your mouth, or I’ll shut you up myself,” you put all of your fear, rage, and contempt into your glare, staring down the psycho prisoner just enough to put the fear of a woman into him, and he backed down.

“Colonel Flag is alive in there, but he’s the last one. Get in there, pick him up, and get out,” you grinned, shark-like at Waller’s voice. You could do that. You revved the engine, put the car into Drive, and hauled ass towards the building. You tuned out the moaning and wailing from the backseat and flicked the switch that activated your enhanced shields. With that in place, you drove straight towards the brick building at full speed. You could do this. You could do this. You hyped yourself up and didn’t flinch when the car made impact with the wall, immediately breaking through and skidding into a large open room. You looked around, assessing the group of men with guns pointing towards a closed door. Rick must be in there. You flipped another switch, this one with a gun sticker above it, and pulled at the steering wheel to aim the guns that came out of the front of the car. When all of the men finally turned towards you, you opened fire on them.

You’d killed for Waller before, usually by hitting people with the car, and while this was thrilling, you’d never had to actually use a gun on someone before. When they were all down, you pulled the car up, trying to ignore the crunching of bodies under the tires and opened the passenger side window.

“Get in the fucking car, Flag,” you screeched, and the door creaked the tiniest bit open. Rick peeked his head out, looked around for a hot second before locking eyes with you, and walked over before putting his ass in the passenger seat.

“I didn’t know the car had a gun in it,” he muttered, scratching at the back of his neck.

“Oh she has several,” the circus dude piped up from the back, and Rick side eyed you before promptly yelling at the other for leaving him behind. You took that as your cue to get the fuck out of there.

“You haven’t said anything in two hours,” Rick finally said as you entered Louisiana. He’d been on the phone with Waller for a while and then writing his debrief up on his phone.

“I’ve never shot anyone before. It’s a tad stressful,” you didn’t let on how nerve-wracking it had been to think you’d lost him, but you especially didn’t let on how freaked out you were about opening fire on a group of over a dozen men. You shrugged and kept your eyes on the road. He nodded in understanding. You didn’t want to talk about it. You appreciated his silence. When you finally dropped the circus dude off you had about six minutes before making it back to Rick’s dropoff.

“Baby?” He asked as you slowed down for a stop sign. You hummed in question, but he put his hand over yours, and you kept your foot on the brake as he shifted the car into park. You looked over at him, a frown on your face until he reached out and cupped your jaw with one calloused palm. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip and it felt like time wasn’t passing anymore.

“Thank you for coming back for me,” he murmured, and damn you thought he might kiss you. He didn’t, though. He tucked a stray piece of hand behind your ear, the feel of his fingertips caressing your neck made you shiver, and he smirked at the sight. It suddenly dawned on you.

He knew exactly what he did to you. He knew exactly how he was making you feel. That turned you the fuck on. He was teasing you.

“I think I’d like to take you out for that drink tonight, darlin. Maybe you’ll give me a good story. Maybe I’ll finally get your name,” he was so close to you, and god but you wanted to kiss him. But as you leaned in, he leaned back with a growing grin.

“Who knows, maybe you’ll get what you want, too,” he whispered before sitting back in his seat. “I’ll grab you after the debrief,” and that was him dismissing your advances until a later time. So, you put the car into Drive and pulled up to his drop off location. Luckily it had taken all day to get back to Belle Reve, so you’d only have to wait for the debrief to be over and it would be around eight at night. You’d finally get a drink with Rick tonight. You smiled to yourself as you pulled the car into your spot. Things would be changing.

#rick flag imagine #rick flag x you #rick flag imagines #rick flag x reader #rick flag #rick flag x female reader #baby driver inspired #dceu fanfiction #rick flag fanfic #rick flag fanfiction #rick flag dc #the suicide squad #getaway car

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insomnishnik · 4 years ago

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pairing : obsessive! dom eren x god complex reader *wink* *wonk*

rating : smut, 18+, fluff, crack (?)

wc : 53k

cw : degradation, choking, semi public sex, art student! eren, cockwarming, pussy spanking, mention of bruises and injuries, breeding kink ish, obsessive behavior, stalking, borderline yandere 😁 also pliz I'm new so if this bad lemme know

summary : at the very end of graduation, it's time to say goodbye, college is over, now off to the real world. But before the farewell, you as the student president arrange the one last time after party as a sweet goodbye message, little do you know eren have other plan.

“DO WE HAVE TO?” you murmured as Hitch pushed your back while both of stepping inside of a coffee shop. Fragrance of coffee bean, vanilla air freshener wafted to your nose, the comforting wooden minimalist arabica design greeted your eyes for its pleasing aesthetic scenery.

"Yes, we have to i mean how bad could it be?" she grinned, pulling your arm to her clutches while both of you scoured inside, "besides, the past must stay as the past, it was just a silly president election it's not like he would hold grudges against you for getting elected," she continued, referring to the big college event far ago before the senior year.

That one time when you and Eren Jaeger applied to be the student council president, and like how history spoke, the winner rejoiced, and nobody really care about what happens next to the loser. It was a though fight, you were quite determined to take that core position with your persona, you believed that you could bring greater goods for the community, and you DID do good, but Eren fought back passionately, and you remembered you could see fire in his eyes during his speech at the debate election, he may not smart but he's clever, maybe a little aggressive but hell does he moved so many people's heart, you remembered when he was standing tall and brave on that podium while his sea green eyes glued the room together, the intimacy that is fiery and optimistic, but as the whole world know destiny said otherwise, without your own anticipation

you won.

And since then your reign begun. You rule well, you made plenty achievements as student president and you never been so proud of yourself, since then you never lose your dedication for your people, and the feel of being a victor, and oh how you loved the feel of being powerful.

You and Hitch walked upstairs to the second loft of the coffee shop after you both ordered the drinks you wanted, "I dunno Hitch, i don't think that this is a good idea," you mumbled to the girl next to you, while you scratching the back of your ear, "when Armin said not to mess with Eren i think he meant it."

Sure you were delighted with your victory, but you still couldn't help yourself to feel bad for Eren, there's this strange tingle of guilt vine your stomach when you, the possessor approached your ex rival far a month ago, he gave you this bitter dirty look as you waved him a polite good morning, then he stormed off without a single word, you felt like he was prestige to look into your eyes since then.

"And when i said he was a wuss, and a man child for going all off emo after that election i also meant it," Hitch rolled her eyes, she pat your back as a reassurance before you two finally found the person you've been looking for, almost unrecognizable from the last time you guys bumped to each other, for a moment your eyes widened to the now Eren Jaeger.

There he was sitting all pretty at the smoking area, his hair was pulled onto a messy bun with a few loose strands on his nape, he was far more built than the boy you used to know, his bushy eyebrows looking furrowed to a sketchbook, the charcoal pencil he's holding dances on top of it. He was styled in a thin knitted black long sleeve top that hugged his muscular body tightly, army green cargo pants, and combat boots — you know, those kind of boots you wear to a rock concert just to kick someone — his rolled sleeves, revealing his veiny arms that covered with tattoos. His long legs is stretched to the chair next to him while he is leaning against the wall.

Hitch glanced at you, she cackled noticing you googling at Eren, she pulled you by your wrist approaching the brunet, "you'll be fine," she snickered, while you could only let out a soft sigh, here goes nothing.

Hitch signal her presence to Eren with a light cough, a small thud hit the surface of his sketchbook after he dropped his pencil. His gaze shifts to both of you who were standing by his side, he raised his left brow when his eyes met yours, you stared back at Eren and he outstared you blankly, "Jaeger," you hesitated.

About time you finally came to me.

"Y/N," he replied, calling you by your first name. His expression never change, they're rather cold, unimpressed, he studied both of you, then back to you, he lift his chin up as he locked his eyes on you, "you brought a friend." Intruder, he finally said after a brief silence, Eren closed his sketchbook and then cracked his knuckles, Hitch pulled you, taking a seat in front of Eren.

"Now let's skip the chit chat, because by the way Eren, you smells musty," Hitch waved her hand in front of her face, she's not wrong though, he smells like tobacco and axe body spray. Furthermore when Hitch explained the reasons of hers and yours arrival to Eren, his gaze never really left you, sometimes he would spare Hitch small glances and nods as confirmation of himself still listening, but his attention was on you.

And you willingly stares back, you still couldn't read his expression, they're as calm as the morning blue sky, they're just so empty it sucks you in, maybe it's the blunt hatred and envy from him for your presidential position, or maybe it was something else, you even almost think that you two are basically eye fucking each other.

You extended him the proposal and the selected material details to him, it's almost graduation, and you're running out of time to find someone who could make an exclusive design for the jackets you are planning to make as a gift for the after party event. The other councilor members and you also haven't decide the theme yet, it has to be perfect. Your last hope is Eren, the fine arts student all the girls in school droll over, even though his charisma was slightly dimmed after his loss at the election, he still got his charm, and you really prayed to Goddess Fortuna because you don't want to risk looking for someone else to customize this specific special item and just to get disappoint by the erratic result, at least when Eren agree to take the work, someone could watch over.

"No fucking way," Eren let out a smug chortled, "the president needs my help," he added in a sneering tone. Cute.

"So you agree or not Eren," you try to suppress your nerve, and you really try not to punch his cocky face, the way he throw his head back a little so he gave you this kind of kubrick stare, gazing into your soul as if he wants to eat you alive, and just like they said, if looks could kill, you're probably be ripped apart by now.

"What if i say no?" he continued, tapping his boot's toe on the wooden floor.

"You'll waste your talent," you gift a thin smile that hides a very big urge to stab him repeatedly.

Eren chuckled, he looked away towards the window before he lean forward to you, "What happen to the other art students, L/N? Did they finally acknowledge your overly perfectionist bossy self or what?"

"And what about it?" you argued, leaning to his face, he wanted to humiliate you, he wanted you to get on your knees and beg, but you still have your dignity.

"Uh, what is this," Hitch hesitated, "i am highly uncomfortable with the atmosphere we created in this room," what's with the eye fucking? Hitch thought, she felt like she's interrupting a really heated make out session but instead of kissing it was exchanging pure hatred, Hitch nudged you by your elbow, giving you a look.

You gritted your teeth and pursed your lips together, leaning closer to Eren's face, "Alright, if this is about that stupid president election we had together grow up Eren! The world doesn't evolve in your stupid drama queen head, so please since i'm asking you nicely before i could fu-" You stopped your bust as a waitress came over with the drinks you ordered earlier, you glared angrily at Eren as you caught a tug of amused smirk at the corner of his lips, it was the fact that you desperately needs his help but still play all bitchy, he found it funny.

Sure you have your dignity, and he is willing to destroy it just because he can.

After the waitress left, you tasted your fresh latte angrily, making Eren chuckled under his husky breath, while on the other side Hitch is silently witnessing the tense between you two.

"Fine," Eren broke the silence after a few minutes since the waitress left, "i'll take the work." he sat up, you nodded and watched as that key necklace of his dangling out from his collar, and when your eyes laid on the toned chest that peaking under his shirt, you gulped your saliva and quickly looked away, "good, thank you for your understanding."

You clasps your hands together and you could hear Hitch's faint sigh of relief, "great so now i think we have our deal, you know Professor Levi's tea shop right? tomorrow we're doing a gathering, be there before 8, and if-"

who says that i'm finished doll? Eren tug another smirk, "but with some condition."

⊱✿⊰

"For real? No party organizer available until next January?" you groaned in frustration, frantically flipping through pages of your journal, Hitch and Armin walks by your side to the long table area.

Chaos.

Chaos everywhere, you feel like your head is going to explode, your blood boils, and there's this uncomfortable anxiety under your skin, crippling under you and devouring you slowly. You've been overworked yourself the entire night after your meeting with Eren, you were brainstorming for your graduation speech, activity recap, and of course other ornaments for the very last project you're having in your senior year, you cried for three hours while listening to montgomery ricky then cried again over the document you accidentally deleted.

You're exhausted.

Mentally and physically, you woke up with puffy eyes and wrecked brain, but you knew that everything must go on, and no, you won't back down, everything has to be perfect,

It has to be perfect.

Hitch pouted as she watches you typing on your laptop, she snakes her arms around your waist and leaned her head against your shoulder, watching you making some kind of budget recap, "sweetie you should rest and lay down." She spoke with a soft smile.

You pursed your lips together before you leaned your head on top of hers, not leaving your eyes from your laptop, "thanks Hitch, but i'm alright, i'll just finish this and i'll take a break for a bit." You just can't really trust anything without yourself being under control or watching over, you're afraid that everything would astray far from your definition of 'perfection,' this empire you've been building, and this is your last legacy the next generation will remember, and you wanted it to be remarkable.

"No dumbass, the last catering service was too expensive and apparently our university was filled with cheapskates." argued a voice from across the room.

"Well we have no choice???" other voice argued back, "Or we can rely on your very bad cooking skill Kirstein, just pray nobody's gonna die from food poisoning."

You huffed at the sight of Ymir and Jean who was sitting face to face on the floor, both are on their phone scrolling on google, you looked around and found Sasha, Marco and Connie, chatting across you, and you looked over to the three people next to you, your vice president Hitch, your treasurer Armin, and your secretary Mikasa. You couldn't help yourself but smiling at your team, they works so well.

Then you frowned as your realized something, "Have Eren-"

A short blonde girl with a tray of drinks and snacks entered the room, "Y'all snack time!" she called out with a large grin on her face.

Ymir's face lit up as she walked up to her girlfriend, Sasha sprinted towards Historia, going feral over food as usual.

"Ugh finally," you chuckled to Jean's mumble. Soon, half of the room crowded the blonde girl, reaching for snacks and drinks, your eyes fixated as you slowly notice the presence of the familiar sea green eyes, you watches as Eren strolls inside of the meeting room, he yawned before he took a seat on Hitch's place, your frowned slightly, "excuse you?"

"Excuse me?" he replied, plastering that damn cocky smile, he looked to you up and down, definitely mocking you under his degrading gaze, dammit y/n did you overworked yourself?

"Well have you look at yourself, President." he snickered, suddenly a sketch design laid in front of you, you shift your eyes to Eren, before you took the papers on your hands. Soft grazes of colored pencil and ink, the art was delicate yet firm, "what is this?" you asked dumbly to the design of two bomber jackets, each of the jackets has their own scrawled side notes of the color details, embroidery, and even fabric material.

"Both jacket will be make from satin, no argument, satin," Eren spoke, he pointed his polished finger nail to the design, "the girls will have the yellow one, the boys will take the red, it'll have our Uni symbol and our number," he explained, "should be ready as soon as possible," Eren watches you closely, waiting for you to say something. Part of him.....just wants you to react, just anything, just any reaction exclusively for him.

You blinked slowly, wow. Honestly it's beautiful, looks like it was Harajuku style inspired, you can't wait to touch the final craft, you glanced at Eren, "thank you," you spoke finally, "it's really beautiful."

I'm glad you like it. "Of course it's beautiful, i made it," he replied with a smug face, he cracked his knuckles then tapped his fingers to the wooden table, "now now, what do we have here."

It was part of Eren's condition. One, he wanted to be fully involved in the graduation ceremony prep and the after party. Two, most importantly nobody touch his creation while he have full control of it, you reluctantly gave him the responsiblity to handle the venue decoration and the theme, most of the people in your team weren't really pleased with that decision, but like you all have time to think? But after considering it, you felt like it would be good idea to have extra hands helping.

Anything,

To reach the absolute perfection.

⊱✿⊰

"I'm so glad, that this is almost over, because i could not bear drinking another monster and espresso or i might get caffeine intoxication," you grinned as you earned chuckles through the dinner table, it was all paid off, and the grand event was right in front of your eyes, you could already imagine yourself standing on that podium, delivering your grand speech, high and god like.

But now, celebration first.

The admiration looks from your team and the last year student council team — who decided to join for the gig — feeds your ego, there's Zeke, Nicolo, Reiner, Pieck and her girlfriend Yelena, Porco and Bertholdt. Your friends really look up to you, from the day you earned your position, they knew they could count on you. "Thank you, thank you for all of the hard works this season, i would never ask for a better team, you guys are the best that i could ever wished for," you grinned and picked up the can of beer from the table, everybody raises their drinks, and you looked at the edge of the table, where your graduated senior, Zeke Jaeger sitting down, giving you a proud look, he was a student president before you, "this is for everyone, our community has never been this great, because you all dedicated your hearts." As you cheers together, you looked around, something is missing, you can feel it, yet you can't find any solid answer for that feeling.

It was a simple outdoor Korean barbecue party in your house's backyard, after all done, you wanted nothing but to treat your friends, because that's what they deserved for serving you right. It was returning favor, while waiting for the meat to be cook perfectly by your senior Nicolo, you sat besides Mikasa as you both chats, while Armin was next to her, busy with his phone. In the distance, chaotic guitar strums and jams from drunk Connie and Jean cracking the air together with everyone that hyping them up. You pressed your chin against Mikasa's shoulder while both of you giggling over a twitter thread.

"Eren said he's coming over," Armin announced to both of you, he looked down to his phone and let out a heavy sigh.

So that was the missing piece.

"Why's the sigh?" you asked Armin.

Armin hesitated, he looked around everywhere that isn't you, he rubbed his hand through his undercut, it feels like watching someone having a very conflicted mind war with themself, he then finally impaled you with a mixed expression, "Y/N," he started, "i don't know how to say this but....." He glanced over at Mikasa, and you followed him.

The dark haired girl rather gave him a surprised expression, a some kind of you did not! look. You exchanged the utterly confusion to both of them, Mikasa nodded slowly, "She needs to know, Armin."

"I need to know what?"

"What are you guys talking about?" you turned around and sees Eren standing right in front of you, bruised up and bleeding, his knuckles was fucked in a shade of dark red and purple, strands of hair falling in front of his face, Mikasa quickly stood up, "Eren did you—"

"Yes i did," he shot her a cold glare, you could see from the corner of your eyes that Zeke started to approaching, Eren's eyes then finally found Armin, who's looking scared and nervous more than ever, "tell me, what's the interesting story Armin?" his tone was striking and icy, under his husky voice, you could track hints of slurs because of alcohol.

Armin went quiet, he gripped his knuckles, what is this? something must happened and you didn't know, and you hated that. You hated when things was out of your reach. "It's okay Eren, you should check your wounds, they look pretty bad," Armin swallowed, his words came out more threatening than he anticipated.

"No, no, no, i wanted to know what you gonna say to Y/N," Eren moves closer to Armin, "you are not trying to tell her anything bad about me right?"

They looked like they're ready to throw hands, but Zeke was already slips between them, holding the both boys's chests with his flat palms, "come on now guys, let's not." he hesitated.

"No, let's." Eren insisted, he slapped his brother's hand, you quickly pulled him down by his arm, he flinched when he felt your touch, Eren glance at you, and for a split second his eyes went soft, it was that soft that you felt nothing but pure affection from his sea green eyes, then something took over his body, he suddenly pulled you by your collar, lifting you up, moving your face closer to his.

His eyes were bloodshot, you squeezed his wrists while kicking your feet on the air, "you," he growled, his warm breath smells like alcohol, you blinked slowly, scanning Eren's animalistic glare, but there is no hate in his eyes, you found yourself trying to look for it but there it none, instead there's this raging desire, he looked at you like you were his prey, "Eren-" you choked, for the first time, you feel powerless.

"I hate you," he hissed, but all you could sense was lie, his mortal fingers squeezing you so deadly but you feel the comfort of it, the bizarrely embracing lust, and his existence blurs all the noises around you, just you and Eren Jaeger. "you took everything from you," he continued, "i woke up everyday wishing you dead."

You knitted your eyebrows, and you feel your godly ichor rushes back through your veins, a disgusted smirk appeared on your face, belittling him for lying, "liar."

Then huge arms pulled Eren from you, tackling him to the ground, Mikasa caught you before you hit the ground, Hitch stepped in front of you, shielding you from Eren who was struggling under Zeke, "Eren what the hell!" she shouted. Mikasa helped you up and pulled you close to her chest, "Y/N are you okay?" she sounded so scared, questions and assumptions popping in your head about what happens between Mikasa, Armin, and Eren. You looked up, finding Reiner helping Zeke restraining his own brother. You knew a minute ago that guy attacked you, but seeing Eren in that position just feels so wrong, you never thought you'll get drew by a guy like Eren Jaeger, but here you are finding yourself shoving aside your pride while approaching the two blonds. You put your hand on Zeke's shoulder, squeezing them gently, "it's okay," your delicate tone shocks him, "let him go Zeke."

You could feel everyone giving you a jaw drop, but when all eyes on you, you find yourself only looking at Eren.

After a tense moment, Zeke and Reiner finally let go of the brunet, you pulled Eren up then you put the tip of your fingers to his chin, examining his wounds, he scoffed and avoided your eyes, dropping his eyes to the ground. "Let's get that clean up," you mumbled and dragged him by his hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. Leaving everyone in a ambiguous silence.

"Why are they leaving? the wagyu is ready."

You walked upstairs to your room, no words exchange both of you before you finally entered the bathroom with Eren, you let go of his hand, your heartbeat strangely skipping inside your chest, while you were searching for the medicine kit in the cabinet, when you finally turn around, you found Eren already sitting on the toilet seat, you kneeled down in front of him and you opened the medicine kit, you pulled a towel from the drawer and stood up, wetting it in the sink, "what happen?" you finally spoke.

Eren let out a deep chuckle, he wiped his bloody nose with his thumb then wiped it off on his jeans, gross. "Why do you care," he asserted.

You rolled your eyes and kneeled back in front of him, with dripping wet cloth on your right hand, "please you stormed on me, lifted me up and looked at me like you wanted fuck me against the table while also wanted to burn me alive at the same time." you gave him a judging look. You took his hands, and then slowly pressed the dampen cloth on his bloody knuckles, he didn't flinch, Eren remained silence while he watches you. You could feel his smirk while you were treating his wounds. "Have i told you how hideous you look tonight?" he asked quietly.

"No, tell me."

Eren then moved his left hand away from you, extending them, he caressed his thumb on your cheekbone, made you froze, his hand then traveled to your ear, it tugged your hair behind them, "i cannot." He whispered softly.

You looked up, and put the now reddish cloth on the floor, you moved closer to the burnet in front of you, you intertwined your fingers with his once again, the tense on his shoulders visibly relax while his pupils widened to the presence of you, "now would you tell me what happen?" your voice sweetened, melodic in his ear, and it seems like he's lured enough by it.

Eren huffed a chuckle, he looked down to both of your hands, "Had a fight with Pops," he shrugged, "took the anger on the wall." You moved closer to his face, close enough to smell the liquor in his breath. Eren stared at you, he never imagine he would have the blessing to be this close with you, he was always watching you from afar. Those interrogation towards Armin regarding you, questions after questions on your personal life, forcing Armin to dug deeper and helped Eren fulfilling his needs on you, he'd followed you after school, to your favorite coffee shop, your home so he'll know your address, to where ever he could reach you, man... he'll go after you to the edge of the world if that's where you're heading.

"Do you still hate me?" you asked, and to be honest the question kind of scares you, because after these past few weeks of spending more time with Eren Jaeger, you finally caught in his fire, his flaming intimacy you thought was long gone, and you also surprises yourself for not getting pissed off by the feeling, because it makes you feel vulnerable.

Eren grazes his thumb on your jaw as if you were made of glass, he kneeled down to the floor with you, so you both could be equal, no high ground. "The truth is my darling, i never was," he confirmed, "after you won that election it was my last straw because from the first time i laid my eyes on you, Love.... You have bewitched me body and soul," he's been watching over you from the distance and you still as pathetic as he could remember, maybe it's the way you stole glances at him, the way you would secretly checking him out but little did you know that he notices everything, he's been reading you like an open book without having to flip through every pages, because you already spread open for him, "you have became the very thing that is out of my reach, Love. And for i have fancy you, and you'll be mine not just in my mind but fully," and he is itching to taste you. His warmth envelopes you to a sense of safety, he trails his hands to your waist, pulling you closer to him, and you melt like a candle on fire. Right above you stand an entity greater than yourself, the essence of mystery that fold itself in front of you, and with the universe speak between you, everything is a clarity.

And you, you don't get it, you thought it was all envy to the position you have, and for the first time, you crave something other than power, "Did you just quoted Pride and Prejudice for me, Jaeger?" you snakes your arms around his neck while his growing bulge strokes on your clothed cunt, the rough material of his jeans made your arousal grow thicker, "my, my, my i used to think that you were just a pretty face with zero common sense," you teased, nuzzling your nose against him.

His husky chuckle vibrates against your skin, without warning he pushes you up against the wall and you immediately jumped onto his waist with your legs, you gasped as your back hit the cold surface, Eren kneading your butt cheeks as he was holding you up, his chest pressed on yours, warm breath mixes together, "ouch, did you just call me dumb?" you snickered, Eren tilts his head before he smirked, "maybe we could be equally dumb after i make you babble nonsense with my cock." His mouth devouring yours feverishly. Frantic gestures rid you and him of clothes on your body, while you helped Eren unbuckling his belt, his teeth grazes yours, tongues fighting for dominance with each other, he latched his lips onto yours, hungry for more taste, you started to sucking his bottom lip while Eren savor your taste, he pushes more for a deeper kiss, his hand fondling your clothed boob, then it slipped under them, as he found your stiffened nipple, you felt his smirk between your kiss, and a moan escaped from your lips, they're already swollen and you knew you needed air soon, but without your realizing, you already breath through his air through the kiss.

You unhooked your bra while Eren pressed you harder against the wall, his cock was already free from his jeans and boxer, his beautiful tip was coated in precum, when you finally exposed your breasts in front of him, the animalistic side possessed him back, Eren kneads your breasts greedily causing you to mewl, shivers running down your spine, and you unconsciously grinds you drenched cunt against his waist, Eren cackled.

"What a fucking whore, you looked like a cat in heat."

You whined when his flat palm hit your cunt, he rubs the dampen clothed surface of your clit, Eren brought his mouth to your breast and started to circling his tongue on your nipple, making your back arched and you grinding to nothingness of his waist, "whore," he spat, a string of saliva bridge between your skin and his lips, "is this what you called a student president? i don't think so." Eren grip your throat and slowly adding pressure to your air circulation with his index finger and thumb, his other hand has been stroking his own cock for awhile, he uses his precum as lube and your eyes twinkled to the beautiful sight.

Your lips parted, he let out a throaty groan to your ear just to tease you, "what if i just jack myself and leave you like this?" the menacing grin appeared on his face, your desperate look just pleased him even more, he groaned under his breath as he feeling himself twitching, and your drooling pussy just looking tastier than ever, Eren inhaled and faked a pout, "aw, what is it? don't you want to walk around with my cum dripping from your slutty hole aren't you? that is sinful my Love, won't it gonna stain your pride, Miss President?"

You cursed under you breath, and another slap landed on your cunt, you threw your head back as Eren squeezed you against the wall, "nu uh, bad words," he growled, "what do you want, Y/N? Use your fucking mouth if you want something, did your parents never tell you?" another hard slap on your cunt made you gasp, you cried louder, and Eren shushed you while peppering kiss on your naked shoulder, "careful darling they might hear you from downstairs."

He pecked your nose before he finally aims his cock to your entrance, stroking his tip to your dripping cunt, "what do you want, Y/N? say it." He repeated.

"Your cock!" you whimpered, "please pound me with your cock.... please Eren.. i just want it inside.."

He slammed into you, causing you to let out a sharp noise, "Oh, like this?" Eren felt your soft warm walls hugging him so tightly, as if you guys just fit so perfectly together, he held his hand on your tummy to prevent you from grinding your greedy self, letting your cunt clenching him by itself, "fuck you're so tight my Love," he groaned subtly.

"E-eren please move..... i'm begging you...." you sobbed so pathetically. Eren moved his face close to yours and pinned your wrists above your head, "this will need an outcome don't you think?" he tilted his head, making you wept for his cock to move even more, suddenly an idea popped in his head, "I will move," he said, "i'll shoot my loads in you and then you'll be mine, i want you to want me so badly, i'm going to imprison you, and then.... just then...it'll be just you and me, always and forever," he dug his face on the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent so they'll stay in his head, but he knew it won't, you're his own personal drug anyways, "promise, Darling?" Eren whispered against your skin.

You shivered under him, your eyes rolls at the back of your head, your pussy is aching with lust, so needy for his cock. You quickly nodded your head, "p-promise."

Eren kissed your neck, sucking them briefly, leaving a visible mark on your soft skin, "good girl."

He pulled his cock from you, leaving just the tip, before then he impaled, filling you up with his length, he slide so easily onto your meat, your legs shivered as he endlessly pushed deeper inside you, and you could feel his tip kissed your cervix, Eren then started to moves at a quick pace, "you like that so much hm? taking my cock like a little slut," he said velvety, turning you on even more. He buried your moan into a deep kiss, his big arm scoot your hips close to him as he ramming his cock with no mercy onto your walls, his other hand still pinning your wrists, as if you're gonna escape from him. You started to rolling your hips on him, making him move more faster, you're both skin to skin, grinding onto each other desperately, "Eren....s'big...so deep..." you moaned. He continues to pound into you.

"Fuck, that's right baby say my name."

"Eren!"

After a minute he completely stopped, you opened your eyes and your face shows confusion, before you could ask any questions, he suddenly slams all of his length into you, causing you to yelp both in pain and pleasure, the lewd sound of skin slapping made you curl your toes, he pounding into you like there's no tomorrow, you threw your head back, your tongue lolling out from your lips, he slamming all his length in and out of you repeatedly until you're a shaking panting mess, an amused look plastered on his cocky face, and his hips didn't stop dipping on you, not letting you think straight or put up any fight, "come on, fucking take it like the cumslut you are."

You choked on your breath as the knot in your stomach getting tighter, "E-ren... hugs...hugs....?" you purred to him, he finally let go of your wrists and let your head fell against his shoulder, he increases his phase that you didn't know was possible, you warped your arms around him as he did to you, and you dragged your nails through his sweaty back, Eren started to whisper sweet nothings as he felt himself twitching, he slurred curses underneath his groaned, his veins popped as he gripped you tightly, his muscles flexes at each moves.

You didn't dare to question him when he said that he'll fill you up inside, because no matter what your answer is, he'll do it anyway. The sight of his hard rock abs and v lines sent you over the edge, “Eren i’m gonna cum—“

“cum with me, Darling.”

You tasted the bitter tint in your tongue as you started seeing stars, you vision went black as Eren rides you to your orgasm while fluid started dripping down your thighs, your body is shaking uncontrollably, Eren let out a loud groan as he riding himself to his own high using your abused cunt, he shot his warm thick load onto your womb, making sure you take all of it, you buried your face on his neck, he slowly pulls out his cock and watches the white liquid oozing from your hole. Eren lifted up your chin, he cupped your cheek and pressed a soft kiss against your lips, mixing your pants together, “mine.” he moaned to your soft plump lips.

“yours."

⊱✿⊰

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bri-notthecheese · 4 years ago

Text

my thoughts on Iki Island:

(spoilers under the cut)

I really loved this DLC! I had nothing but high hopes for this after playing the base game last year (and three more times after that), and Sucker Punch didn’t disappoint. The whole time playing it I felt like it was only adding to my love of the characters and the stories they set up in the base game, and then all the new quests and mechanics added a lot of fresh fun on top of that!

So where to even begin.

The opening scene was super cool and a neat way to introduce the new shaman enemies. And despite Yuna only actually being in one scene, it was a delight to see her again. Though since I’m playing the DLC after finishing everything, I don't love the continuity of Yuna not accompanying him, but gameplay wise I knew that wasn’t going to happen anyway, but I just love when she’s with us <3

Went for my horse straight away and I was THRILLED to see that Kaze can now kill enemies and the new charge mechanic was way more fun than I was expecting and I was having too much fun with that. After Nobu, I didn’t expect to get attached the Kaze all that much (even if he continued on into a later game) but I was quickly proved wrong with this because I now kind of separate Nobu as the more gentler of the two, that was always there for me, and while Kaze is too, I like imagining Kaze is a lot younger and his aggressive personality in this really sold that and I like that it probably eases Jin’s worries a bit to see his new horse being able to fend off attacks a bit better. Plus, with his new armor, he’s even safer <3 Really fell more in love with Kaze in this, which I didn’t expect.

Met The Eagle next and had that whole encounter. I love how right away if you pay attention, you know Yuna isn’t Yuna because she’s never once addressed Jin as ‘my lord.’ I think the only time she said it was when she was talking to both him and Shimura at the lighthouse, and it wasn’t because she wanted to. But still, even knowing something was wrong, it’s cute that Jin’s mind went to her as a safe place who he’d have no problem entrusting stories and secrets to, which was obviously the Eagle’s goal. And hearing her voice warp into the Eagle’s was creepyyyy and so good <3 (my Yuna loving ass was sad to realize that was most likely the last time we’d see her, but that’s okay) That next part of the hallucination really got you feeling for Jin, and I couldn’t help but be frustrated that he’s only a child, how was he supposed to help?!?!?

So I ignored Tenzo’s next mission and explored and pretty much completed the entire island. I got jump scared WAY too many times by her taunts, but I loved how that just added to the direness of the situation. I was obsessed with finding all the hallucinations and it just kept breaking my heart how Jin has all of this pent up guilt/heartache--with Ryuzo (he had so many I found), his father, his uncle, the Khan, Nobu :(, Masako, etc. I honestly had expected to find one regarding Taka and I’m a bit sad that I didn’t. Add those to the memories of his father and the ever-present taunting, I was going through it with Jin <3 At least you can pet the animals for him <3 The little smile he’d get every time was worth it. And the flute playing mechanic was really neat!

The first memory I got was their chat before Kazumasa’s death and honestly that got me all teary because Jin wanted so badly to hear him say he accepted him as his son, but deep down, would he have felt it? And my heart just breaks so much for Jin because as I kept going through the memories, I kept thinking how well 1) his dad sucks, but 2) both father figures kept wanting Jin to be somebody else. And it hurts that he was closer to Shimura’s way of thinking and how we even see that one time that Shimura corrects Jin, that his recitation of what honor means were his father’s words, and gets Jin to say that kindness is what honor means to him and wow. <3 <3 <3 But it hurts knowing their fate too <3 That while Shimura was more of a father to Jin than Kazumasa was, eventually, he couldn’t accept what Jin was doing in their way. Though it does hurt and make you wonder if Shimura was frightened that Jin was turning into his dad...I had that thought many times. (I loved seeing Adachi so much though omg <3 <3 <3) It was very interesting how the song Jin ends up playing for his father at the end of the memories is the ‘Jin Sakai’ theme. And then how that in turn, morphs into ‘The Way of the Ghost’ later on when in the final battle.

It hurts that Jin had Chiyoko in his life for such a short time. I’m glad he did have Yuriko at least, but all of Jin’s memories on his mother and how she emphasized just living was so prominent, and her love of animals clearly passed to him and that gentleness too. And of instruments. Such softness, and I love that he retains that even as an adult. It makes sense that he doesn’t speak of his mother as often since he has far less experiences with her vs Kazumasa or Shimura, but it was nice to see her influence within him.

Did this quest near the end of my exploration but I got the BIGGEST smile on my fave when I barged in the house to find the Ghost of Iki Island was Kenji <3 <3 <3 I love this dumbass so much and it was so nice to see a familiar face <3 Plus it let Jin have an actual full laugh when Kenji referred to them both as ‘tough guys’ XD His quests are always enjoyable for me and so I really loved that (though I was also Jin when he’s like “...you didn’t say goodbye.”) but I was happy to see him do the right thing at the end <3 THEN I got to duel the Viper because I diffused the situation instead and that was fun. Love that Jin explains his knowledge of negotiation was learned from all the years with Shimura <3 Also enjoyed spotting Kenji later in the Refuge XD

Really enjoyed all the side quests overall, loved all the animal sanctuaries, and the archery was a TON of fun! Getting the horse armor was neat, seeing Jin actively stop a Mythic retelling, though I was surprised there was no duel for that one. The one for the monkey armor was so creepy, following the lights in the cave, but so damn cinematic and that fight was incredible plus that amor is my new best friend. Seriously omg, the duels in this DLC felt so much beefier than the base game (I was playing on hard so that could be a reason, but the fights didn’t feel this tanky in the base) But that armor just made them a piece of cake if you’re good at perfect parries and perfect dodges <3 <3

Loved the banter and camaraderie between Jin and Tenzo throughout. And I really enjoyed Fune’s character as well! Did the next few story missions and I couldn’t help that sense of foreboding slipping in as I was getting more attached to these characters. Love that they had Kidafure Battlefield on the map but it isn’t till the mission that they tack on the ‘Village’, really hitting home what happened there.

Maybe I should have been, but I did not see the twist with Tenzo coming at ALL! I physically gasped when he spoke the “May your death benefit all things” to that random Mongol and I was soooo tense, like Jin listen I know he was your dad but also Tenzo spared you. Which I love in the long run how he spared the Butcher’s child only to save him later in life, and Jin could save him and the island in return <3 Because ohhhhhh boy did I get emotional when Jin stopped the Eagle from landing that blow.

But before that, HER FIGHT IS SO FUCKING COOOOOL!!!!!! SHE IS SO DAMN FAST AND SHE EASILY WIPED THE FLOOR WITH ME THE FIRST TWO TIMES. I also love her references to Khotan and that her moveset with the spear shares some similarities with him. I tried once more in my Ghost armor (for fashion) and then I switched to the Sarugami armor and was flying through just to have that whole cutscene.

I know culture is different and obviously I can never understand that mindset, but to hear him say to Jin that they both should have died there broke my heart. What kind of a father wants his son’s death with him like that?!?!?!?! But I LOOOOOOVED ‘Honor and Ash’ playing in the background for that scene, as Jin is rejecting what his father may have thought/wanted (just like he did to Shimura with that track at the end of Act 2) and then it moved up a key just to reinforce that Jin is forgiving himself for this and letting go and again, forging his own path just as he did with his uncle. I loved that they used that piece for that pivotal moment...

...JUST TO KICK IT INTO AN EVEN HIGHER GEAR WITH JIN SAVING TENZO AND THE GHOST THEME BLARING IN WITH A KEY CHANGE TO THEN TRIUMPHANTLY FINISH OFF THE EAGLE!!!!! I WAS SO HYPED (and also hoping I wouldn’t die cuz how anti climactic would that have been?!?) but I didn’t and I really enjoyed the resolution between those two. I bowed to him after he bowed to me and I love that they even added dialogue for that if players do decide to do that <3 <3 <3

The next quest with Fune was sweet, though it felt a little odd to do after defeating the Eagle, but it was sweet nonetheless. I have to finish up some trophy stuff, I guess there’s unseen quests that I’m sure I’ve done a few of, but I have to figure out what I missed. The dueling ring was fun, though that lady was the most difficult for me.

A few things of note:

-I like that in this DLC, you really can’t tell if it’s better to kill or spare Shimura. And how there are lines that could mean slightly different things to Jin depending on what he’s done. I’ve done both and I was on a file where he spared him, but besides a hallucination mentioning the Ghost being hunted for the rest of his days, nothing else pointed to one choice or the other.

-Though a line Jin said to Sugi threw me a bit when he said something along the lines of ‘you’ll never understand how hard it is to kill your family’ and maybe he was referencing his guilt for his father, but I’m like ?????? who else did you kill Jin??? Shimura is fine in this play through XD

-Talking with her though, I like that Jin described himself as ‘someone who knows what it’s like to be hunted’ :((((((

-Tenzo also made reference to a friend of his being beheaded, but not finding the head till a week later, and asking Jin if he understands that and while the situation is different, I bet Jin’s mind went to Taka :(

-Loved the subtle storytelling elements with Jin falling into his nightmares during the fight through the Gorge and his resolve disappears each time. The second time it happened, I verbally went “oh my resolve.....oh.”

-I do think Sucker Punch made a lil mistake though because I started thinking about how in Tale 8 of Masako’s quests, I’m almost certain she mentions Jin not understanding her need for revenge or something along those lines, and she talks about Shimura hunting down Kazamasu’s killer for weeks and how Jin had his closure. But uhhhhhh obviously his killer was never found? Or they killed the wrong one? And they didn’t mention it was on Iki Island and obviously didn’t have that foresight that they’d be doing this DLC since he was killed in the snow in the base game and now it was under a wisteria tree, but besides that small thing, I had no complaints! except for always wanting more Yuna

It was so great and I felt it really complemented the base game, especially in regards to everything that Jin feels guilty and responsible for, but also puts his relationship with Shimura is so many new lights that I loooove and I need to talk about more!!! If you read this far, feel free to hmu to chat about it because my best friend who played the base game at the same time I did and screamed with me about it has not played this yet and ahhhhh!!!!!!

#ghost of tsushima #iki island #iki island spoilers #my thoughts #enjoy my ramblings before i sleep

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sassooda · 4 years ago

Text

Worlds Away JJK AU / Chapter 39 - Run

w/c - 7,590

**Warnings- This chapter is very violent.**

The waiter returns with replacement drinks and sets them down accordingly. He doesn’t stay long this time but he once again intensely stares at them all. Toji postures himself and rolls his shoulders back while unabashedly glaring him down. He’s sure the waiter can tell but his brown eyed gaze is now of Elska as he leaves. Toji grumbles, “He’s begging for an ass whooping doll, would you be upset if I delivered?”. She giggles out, “You are not allowed to hit him!”, and bumps him with her shoulder playfully.

Naoya cracks up from Toji’s words and adds, “I’ve felt your punch, you’ll fucking kill the guy!”. His deep laughter carries through the patio causing the young parents of the three kids to look over awkwardly and smile. Naoya nods and waves to offer the universal gesture that he wasn’t intending to be that loud. He looks over to Toji and Elska with a grin while lifting his glass into the air, “I just want to say that I’m grateful to be here with you two today.”. He brings his eyes to Toji, “I’ve always looked up to you and hoped that I could be that cool when I grew up…,” he chuckles with slight embarrassment, “…and I know things with all of us are, unique but I appreciate you having the room in your heart for me, it means a lot...”. Toji’s face experienced a quick wash of gentleness that Naoya was happy he saw, returning it without being shy. The Zenin now looks at Elska, “And you my princess…”, he sighs at her sweet eyes, “Thank you for showing me what it means to be cared for by a woman. Come what may, I will always be rich in all things with you by my side.”. He watches Elska sip her wine with watery eyes as he drinks his Mojito until the opportunity to kiss her arises. After he hums to the feeling of perfection, he pulls back and chuckles, “It’s so peaceful without Gojo around, isn’t it?”, he admits as Toji cackles and leans forward while setting his drink on the table.

Elska sips her wine and puts the glass down before wrapping her arms into both of theirs. “Thank you so much for bringing me out here today!”, she feels it’s impossible to address both of them at the same time so she scoots back, “You two bring so much happiness into my life, Sati too…”. She squeezes their arms, “I can’t imagine what life would be like without you.”. Her eyes now take to the kids as the youngest is waving at them in the awkward manner that a toddler would. “We’ve made a friend!”, she laughs as she waves back. ‘Could I be a mother? A good one?’, she asks herself as she watches Naoya interacting with the child, wearing a goofy face. ‘He would be a good father…I know he would.’, the idea creeps into her heart as she heavily considers giving him what he wants. Naoya leans back and says, “They’re reeeeally cute actually. It doesn’t help my baby fever whatsoever.”. Elska inhales sharply after a stark possibility blares into her brain, “I could already be pregnant and not even know it...”, her words sounded dreadful but only because she wouldn’t have the first fucking clue as to who the child would belong to. She didn’t want to say anything out loud but Toji was hot on her trail of thought.

“Any one of us could be the father!”, Toji’s eyes widen as he’s not even considered what a quandary that could turn out to be. He looks over at Naoya who’s left eye is twitching and feels defensive, “Boy don’t make that face, I never pull out.”. As soon as the words left his lips, he can feel the heated aura from Elska, “Doll, I have no idea why I just said that...”, but is relieved to find he’s not in the doghouse after she says, “I’m going to pretend that didn’t happen!” with a squinted expression.

“You dirty old bastard!”, Naoya does not like the idea of anyone else knocking her up. “You’re not supposed…she’s a princess!”, and looks at Elska with a furrowed brow. She seems pretty uncomfortable and he assumes it’s because of his reaction so he feels bad. He huffs, “Well I don’t either!”. Elska can be heard humming like she’s thinking of a punishment but his mind takes to the night of him, Gojo and Elska. He recalls something he feels is important and darts his eyes to Toji with a devious grin, “But Gojo does.”.

“Naoya…I’m about to take your drink away again!”, she buries her face into her hands as she tries to not feel grossed out by herself. Naoya pulls her hands away and turns her in his direction, “Baby! Like I said before…we’re unique!”, and brings his drink within his guard. She feels his lips against her own and somehow the simple action instantly comforts her. ‘We’re all degenerates…’. She leans back into her seat after they break away and looks up to the sky. Thinking of a great comeback she smirks and flippantly says, “Maybe Choso’s the daddy.”. She laughs when Naoya gasps with anxiety but is surprised by how Toji saw right through her.

“Baby? Are you messing with me right now?”, he knows she’s laughing but is honestly afraid of that thought after the lack of clarification with what happened between her and the being. “Tell me you’re just kidding!”, he leans up and pokes at her sides until she admits that it was just a bad joke. Once he’s satisfied and reassured, he sits back again and threatens, “That deserves a spanking...”, and bites his lip as he envisions it. He looks to Toji, “How were you able to be so calm?!”, but pouts when Toji shrugs and says, “I just know better.”, and Naoya now feels silly for getting worked up. “That’s two spankings now since my pride is hurt as well!”. He giggles with her as she doesn’t seem to protest against the idea. ‘Just you wait, Elska!’, he’s now planning to give them to her tonight.

The waiter approaches them again, still eyeing Toji. “Ugh…not again…”, Toji feels the man staring at him and wants to avoid having to directly deal with him but the brown eyed fellow walks over to Toji’s side. He gives Elska and Naoya a loathing look as he warns of his tolerance being low. The waiter says, “I’ll explain the menu since you’re unfamiliar with the language.”, but his tone was different. Toji abruptly states, “I’ll take anything chicken.”, and starts to feel aggressive as the waiter remains. The man leans down and places a hand on Toji’s shoulder and the moment it makes contact, Toji feels a surge of pain shoot through his arm and bellows out an inhuman screech. Naoya stands up immediately and asks what’s wrong but Toji’s unable to respond.

Naoya looks at the waiter, “What the fuck did you do? WHO ARE YOU?!”, and then back at Toji who has doubled over, heaving in pain as his presence darkens. “Baby, get up…GET UP NOW!”, He grabs Elska and moves her away while glaring at the waiter who arrogantly standing by the giant. The man laughs wildly and says, “This is for Master Kokoro…”. The waiter goes to lower his hand back onto his shoulder but Toji snatches it, crushes his wrist and cries out as his wings start to form. “Oh fuck…”. The Zenin man yells to the other tables, “GET OUT OF HERE NOW!”. Naoya steps back with Elska tightly in his grasp and worries about everyone around them. All of the people sitting outside have now tuned in and are watching in horror as the skin of Toji’s back stretches to form the bones and feathers…but they do not move.

“TOJI DON’T!”, Elska breaks away from Naoya to run to her beloved but before she can reach him, Toji yanks the waiter down by the wrist and proceeds to send energy at the man’s torso, hollowing him out completely. The body remains standing for what seemed like forever as Elska views the beautiful river through him until he collapses. Screams erupt chaotically as terrified people try to flee but Elska’s only focus was on Toji, who seems to be falling progressively deeper into this dark energized way. “TOJI!”, she cries out to him again but feels Naoya securing her. The children can be heard squealing in tears at the top of their lungs as their parents struggle to function well enough to gather the kids. “Why…This is…?! Naoya!”, she’s already crying as he takes hold of her. The clamor of fear booming around them was almost too much all together but it abruptly silences as a warm liquid sprays her and Naoya. In what seemed like slow motion, the entire family and table was crushed into the pavement, leaving nothing but a compressed pile of bones and flesh where their beautiful faces used to be. She can’t move. She can’t avert her eyes. She can only watch in absolute horror.

“Oh my God…”, Naoya is also left otherwise speechless and mortified as the high chairs can still be made out due to their green color, amongst the mounds of human tissue. He calls out to Elska who is back in his arms but she’s unresponsive and hysterical. Toji flies past them and Naoya screams when he watches his cousin shred through a businessman before turning to one of the middle-aged women, tearing her arms off simultaneously. The woman screams but soon falls into shock and seizes on the ground. “TOJI!!”, Naoya finds himself crying too, shaking while Toji uses his strength to literally rip through the innocent humans. “Holy fuck…he’s going to kill them all!”, his cries are muffled as he dips his face into Elska’s hair, not knowing how to react. He needs to stop his cousin but understanding that this is an attack, he doesn’t want to leave Elska alone. “Baby… What do I do?!”, he sobs with her. The others that were outside with them are unable to open the door to the building for some reason and he perceives another of the businessmen try to make a break for the water. Naoya screams again as he helplessly watches Toji tackle him and tear the man’s neck from his shoulders. Toji now turns around eerily and targets him while the remaining survivors cower and mentally decompose. With wide eyes, Naoya picks Elska up and activates his projection technique. He feels so heavy when he engages it and can’t understand why Toji is getting closer as he exerts his full force into the speed. ‘It’s not working!’, the weight of the dread hindering his usual decisiveness brings him to a new low as he surmounts the worse of outcomes. He holds Elska tighter and says through his cries, “Baby, you have to run. I need you to run.”. He’s not sure if he’s going to make it out of this but knows it will be worth it as long as she escapes. His heart breaks while he lowers her down fearing that this will be the last time they’ll see each other. He shouts with urgency as tears stream down his face, “RUN ELSKA!”.

She’s aware that she’s being placed back on her feet but feels so cold without Naoya’s body heat. “The children…”, she’s still in shock. Upon looking around she notices the other bodies, at least 2 overlapping each other near the door leading inside. She stands there, dazed and numb until the restaurant and all neighboring buildings explode. The powerful shock wave sends her flying towards the water as she feels a blunt object hit her side accompanied by internal cracking. Moments pass as she lies there incoherent as multiple smaller explosions erupt from the establishments around them. Her ears are ringing loudly. She tries to push herself off of the ground but her equilibrium is shot so she falls over to her right side. Her eyes are struggling to focus but when they do, she sees that the object that likely cracked her ribs is some poor man’s mangled leg. She can’t make out her own voice but she cries for Naoya and shuts her eyes to the fear that him and Toji were caught in the blast. Her own bloodcurdling sounds now make way to her ears, finding she doesn’t recognize her own voice. Only when she can feel her body being jostled around do her eyes unfasten.

Naoya was thrown into a table near the edge of the patio. He feels the burns lacing up his body as he stumbles over to Elska. She’s covered in cuts from the glass and can tell she’s not breathing normally but is alive. ‘BABY!”, he scoops her up into his arms but they fall backward since he’s yet to fully regain his senses. He sits up and tries again while looking around and witnesses the gore and destruction. His breath is hitched in his throat as he sees the dismembered pieces of people all around them, some bits floating in the water nearby. He’s crying again as he struggles to his feet with her, “Baby, we have to run!”, is all he can say as his eyes finally spot the wings. “TOJI!”, he wails as he sees the charred feathers, it looking like he suffered burns as well. He finally is able to stand up and releases more tears when he sees Toji stirring. “Thank fucking God…”. He checks around for other survivors but is unable to make out anything amongst the body parts and debris. To his left a table is crushed right before his eyes, leaving a depression into the concrete. ‘Getou’. His eyes widen when he hears Toji release another wild call. “Baby…”, he shakes Elska, trying to get her to respond. “BABY YOU HAVE TO SNAP OUT OF IT!”, and panics as Toji growls and picks up speed towards them. “SHIT!”, he places Elska back down, straining from his melted skin and whispers in tears, “I love you Elska, forever.”, before charging the best he could towards Toji.

She heard him. His voice itself guided her out of her own mind and back to the disaster that’s before them. She fully comes to when she sees Naoya and Toji exchanging energy. Upon trying to stand, she sways but doesn’t fall and has yet to realize all of her wounds as the adrenaline kicks in. She screams feverishly at the two men to stop but is forced to watch them struggle against each other, Toji having the upper hand as he seems to have lost his usual reservation. “NAOYA!”. The scene around her is completely disturbing as the heat from the flaming buildings add to the smell of over-cooked flesh. She starts running towards Naoya and Toji but an unfamiliar voice calls out to her so she turns around to see where it came from.

“Elska Oda!”, Genghis hollers out as Getou and the other Titers now manifest into view. Genghis is especially thrilled by the scene and claps his hands together in praise to Toji’s handiwork. “He has surpassed my expectations greatly!”, He nudges Getou joyously as his pupil studies Elska. He as well takes in how bloodied Elska is and wishes that she wouldn’t have been harmed in the process.

When she sees Getou, Elska completely snaps. “YOU FUCKING DID THIS?!”, and forms her metal wings instantly. “I am going to fucking tear you APAAAART!”, she growls before trying to charge him blindly. She’s consumed with rage as she thinks about the children, the unsuspecting innocents and Toji and Naoya. “FUCKING COWARD!”, she screams at him and is almost taken back by how remorseful his expression is.

Lidia was hoping this would happen. “Winged bitch.”, she mutters while drawing her arm back, aiming her spear. ‘I knew she wasn’t right for Master Suguru…’. She notices Toji become aware of her actions and gets freaked out, so she hurls the weapon towards Elska before he can get any closer. Naoya can be seen trying to run towards Elska. To her dismay, she hears Getou scream for her to stop but it had already left her hands. She turns to him, “She’s trying to kill you Master Suguru!”, and feels her heart stop as he finally looks at her but with absolute abhorrence and wrath. She watches Getou try to stop the spear with gravity but he’s unable to.

Elska was so furious that she didn’t even think about how utterly moronic attacking head on would be. The spear is heading straight for her, leaving no time to react as she simply failed to notice it because of her focus on Getou. Knowing that she’s about to be impaled only fuels her more though as she can’t let this opportunity go to waste. Right before what she assumed were possibly her last moments, she briefly closes her eyes and tries to remember all the good she’s experienced up until this point. The laughs and love she’s received and shared with Satoru, Toji, Naoya and everyone else flood her as she’s so desperate to live but is willing to throw it all away for their safety. ‘I have to kill him.’. The end never comes but her soul leaves her body along with all of her sensibilities.

Naoya staggers in front of her. He was able to use his projection at least this time but the look on her face shatters his heart as he follows her eyes down to see the spear’s large tip sticking out of his sternum. “B…Bab…y…”, he feels the world spinning around him as he falls, no longer having the ability to remain on his feet. He hears Elska shriek and feels her warmth but he can’t focus his eyes or make them stay open. “Bab…y…” is all he can manage to articulate. ‘I made it...’, soothes his mind as blood pours from his smiling mouth.

Toji dashes past them towards the Titers and manages to kill one upon contact. Elska heard the short-lived cries but finds solace in it as she attempts to catch Naoya. They both fall to the ground and the spear tip punctures her hip. She frantically tries to lay him on his side in a specific manner and sobs as she brushes the hair away from his eyes. Using her wings, she slices open her wrist and holds Naoya’s mouth open to force her blood into him but her arm is shaking so violently that it’s causing her essence to get all over his face and neck. “FUCK! NAOYA!”, she yells through her tears as she’s desperate to save him. “My prince…please…you can’t…”, she heaves in shuddering breaths, “You can’t leave me!”. She attempts to take a deep breath but there’s no calming down, he’s barely taking the blood even when some lands into his mouth. “Naoya…please…no…”. She’s met with a choice but before she can decide for herself the ancestral guide within barrels through her.

“TURN HIM.”

She absolves all of her previous restraint on the matter and doesn’t hesitate. After repositioning and somewhat side straddling Naoya, she turns around to see all of the Titers fending off Toji except two. Getou and a shorter but older man are both watching her but with different expressions. Getou looks mystified, probably not understanding because he thinks Naoya is already dead. The other man, next to him, appears to be brimming with anticipation. She says nothing to them as she places her left hand over Naoya’s heart, becoming submerged with relief as it still beats, albeit faintly but then it stops. She screams his name while her world disintegrates.

“SAVE HIM!”.

When she feels the surge of ancient energy course in her veins, she leans down into her prince’s neck and whispers, “I love you Naoya. Please…stay here with me.”. She licks the targeted area and pierces him immediately afterwards.

Toji is taken out of his hypnotic ferocity when he feels Elska’s energy shift. His eyes come clear as he’s surrounded by five Titers. “ELSKA!” He can’t see her initially and panics as his recent actions immobilize his mind. ‘I…killed…I did that?’. Through his own eyes he saw everything but was unable to stop. The complete devastation that was caused by the explosion rocks him again and his frustration with everything happening reaches its peak. He releases a wave of energy that sends all of the Titer’s flying backwards with superficial injuries but can finally can see her. He drops to his knees when he takes in the spear that’s lodged through Naoya and strains into a cry that has no sound. He now understands what Elska is doing and although he’s always hated the idea, he’s not ready to say goodbye to his younger cousin so he finds himself hoping with every cell he’s made from that she’s successful. He hurriedly crawls over to them, becoming more distressed as the details of Naoya’s condition are more apparent. Violet energy travels over Naoya’s body and he jolts like she’s shocking his heart but is otherwise completely still and pale aside from his burns. He hears her moan as she drinks and sees the tears running down her face. Her presence darkens immediately and he holds his breath as he waits worriedly to gauge her. When Elska lifts her head from Naoya’s neck, Toji finds himself overcome with a foreign emotion. Her eyes glow bright purple still but the green dashes are clearly visible and for the first time ever, Toji’s welcoming this. He darts his eyes down to Naoya and notices he’s breathing, “Boy don’t scare me like that ever again…”, and bends down to wrap his arms around Naoya’s head as he was frightened that Naoya wouldn’t have been sustainable in that state. He goes to pick Naoya up but Elska stops him and says in the lowly voice, “He’s safer on the ground, as are you, my beloved.”. Her expression doesn’t feign any emotion but she grips the handle of the spear hanging out of his back and splinters it with ease but holds onto it. With wild eyes she looks down at Naoya, brushing the hair from his face and seethes, “If this doesn’t work, I will enslave and destroy this entire world.”. She now calmly stands up and turns around to head in the direction of the Titers. “My beloved, protect him.”.

Genghis just fell in love. As the true Elska walks towards them he finds himself in complete awe to her presence and mannerisms. “Even covered in blood…”, he sighs and notes how lucky Suguru is. He leans over to his pupil who has become shaken by her switch, “I think we just witnessed Zenin’s rebirth!”. Getou turns to him with an angry face and asks, “How the fuck is any of this good?!”. Suguru wears the expression of a man who has been betrayed but Genghis brushes it off and chalks it up to shock. Seeing that Suguru was not mentally up to the task right now, Genghis smirks and raises his hands high in the air as he takes two steps towards Elska, gesturing that he would like to engage in conversation. In a composed and submissive tone, he tells her, “Miss Oda, there’s something I must do for you.”.

Getou finds himself disgusted by how the plan was enacted. When he engaged his gravity to crush the tables, he didn’t realize there were children present. It reminds him of Kechi all over again and his rage slowly becomes directed towards his mentor. He’s unnerved by how happy Genghis is and finally puts more weight into the idea that something is wrong with him. Watching Elska approach them with the frayed spear handle, he feels the absolute urge to defend her as he no longer knows what to expect but understands this whole situation has only fueled her hatred for him. ‘She thinks this was my idea…’, he glares over at Lidia and desires to smash her into the concrete beneath them as her actions were severely out of line. Elska’s desperation over Naoya wrecked his cold demeanor as the sheer sounds of her breaking in front of him were not as sweet as he once imagined. He doesn’t know why he’s feeling these things but he comprehends that somewhere along the way, he stopped hating her and begins to question if he ever really did to begin with.

Elska stops out of curiosity. It makes no difference to her but she’s intrigued by the Titer Man’s lack of fear. “Proceed.”, is all she says. She becomes more entertained by him when he grabs the red headed girl who threw the spear and brings her back to where he was standing. He announces, “My name is Temujin Genghis, I lead the Titer clan and I am hoping we can be friends. This is Lidia…”, Elska smirks with approval as Genghis jerks her head around by her curly long locks, “…When she attacked you, that was of her own accord. I have never carried any intentions of causing you harm, I admire you deeply.”. Elska can’t help but acknowledge that every word said seems to be truthful although she’s still not moved. She walks up coolly as Lidia struggles, trying to explain her side of the story. Elska sends her glowing red eyes at Genghis who pleasurably shivers into a smile before she turns her attention to the girl and wrenches her grip around her face. In the same lowly and demanding tone she says, “You…you misjudged your situation and threw that spear into my prince.”. Elska notices that the words sting Getou but he seems unphased by the girl being in peril. ‘I see.’. Elska brings her hand into the Lidia’s hair, yanks her head to the side and exposes her fangs. Getou’s eyes shoot open and she keeps her glowing gaze on him and she bites down into the girl’s neck, causing Lidia to moan loudly from the sensation.

Getou can’t take his eyes from Elska as she drinks. He’s so perplexed by Lidia’s reaction as she continues to moan and whimper and wonders why that would be happening. ‘Does it feel good?’, he asks internally but his question is answered as he recalls how territorial Naoya was about her feeding. His lips part as the realization hits him fully and he whispers, “The missing piece of the puzzle…”. Elska flashes him an evil smirk after lifting her head back up as if to help sanction his uncertainties. Suguru is feeling like she’s making a show out of biting Lidia for him alone and is severely confused by her actions.

Lidia has no idea what that was but as the sensation fades, she’s still gasping whimpers. She feels Genghis tug on her hair again and can feel that he’s forming an erection as its pressed against her from his hold. Through her eyelashes she sees Elska glaring into her with superiority but is now noticing that her neck is still bleeding. ‘What…was that?’, she wishes she could see Suguru but instead her eyes take to Toji. His bore holes into her as he bears his fangs maliciously from afar.

Elska wipes her mouth, bringing her concentration back on Lidia and continues, “It’s such a shame…all of this natural beauty is wasted on such a stupid woman.”. Elska was able to decipher the girl with ease and if she could feel anything, it would be pity for the distressed damsel. Elska speaks to Getou while lifting the spear handle up, “This woman is in love with you and she threw the spear to be rid of her biggest obstacle.”. She grabs Lidia’s face again and smiles maniacally, “Me.”. When she tightens her grip, she hears Genghis’s heart start to race and thinks of how strange of a human he is for being so turned on. Looking back to Lidia she says, “Your entire life has been pointless but today you gave me my prince. I would thank you if you were worth it…”. Elska now watches the horror blanket Lidia’s expression as she brings her arm back. “…But you’re not.”, and aggressively flails her wings and laughs as the girl flinches and wails with regret. “Since you don’t use them well…”, she steps aside so Naoya can be in the girl’s view, “…I don’t see why you should be burdened with these anymore.”. She quickly jabs the jagged handle into both of Lidia’s eyes with precision. She closes her own and inhales satisfyingly as the screams erupt through the air and opens them to smile at the leaking vitreous fluid running down Lidia’s reddened face as she panics to being brutally blinded. Elska thinks about Naoya again and finds that was not enough so she takes the handle and violently shoves it downwards into Lidia’s throat, penetrating it through the back of her neck. The woman still lives but is clearly distraught by the mutilation and struggles to breathe. Elska hisses, “Stupid woman.”, but then takes a few steps back while scowling at the pathetic redhead.

Toji stands up now, ‘Master…’. He can’t believe what he just saw but is enthralled by the revenge. He knows this isn’t his Elska but is reassured that her in this form was extremely beneficial. He wonders though, ‘Why is she toying with them?’. He looks down at his cousin with heartache until he notices, ‘He stopped bleeding!’, but is still worried as he hasn’t figured out how they’re going to remove the giant spear. Naoya starts violently seizing so he cries out, “ELSKA!”, and looks to her, being completely confused by the smile along her lips. He remains by Naoya’s side, trying to steady him because of the spear. Tears well in his eyes as Naoya flops next to him but he hears Elska’s voice in his mind, “Don’t fret my beloved, that means it’s working...”. His head snaps up in amazement as her eyes meet his. He thinks, ‘Did I just imagine that?’, but jumps when he hears her again, “No you did not. We are able to communicate like this.”. Instantly, he’s brought back to the day he fed from his cousin and how he swore he could sense and hear her screams, becoming marveled. He listens to Lidia’s gurgled broken shrieks of terror but finds they don’t bother him one bit. Naoya settles back into the ground which causes Elska to whip her head in his direction with a hint of disbelief on her face. Toji becomes startled again as he looks back down to Naoya but he hears her, “His transformation is rather rapid…”. Regaining his hope after being fed this knowledge, he unintentionally lets out a grateful sob. He looks to Elska and thinks, ‘Tell me when.’. Toji knew from the moment he saw the green dashes that she was going to hopelessly decimate them. This Elska holds such immense power and was completely ruthless, being the exact and only reason he happy to see her switch.

Genghis is smitten by this version of Elska and is enthusiastic about demonstrating this fact to her. He pushes Lidia to the ground, lodging the handle deeper through her flesh and places a foot on her back before saying, “Miss Oda, I would be more than pleased if you would accept this act as a token of Master Suguru’s and my own affection.”. He leans down to grab Lidia’s red curls again while she struggles in absolute fear and pins her underneath his left foot. She screams, “Master Suguru!”, or it at least sounded like that could be it but Genghis takes his right leg from ground and bends his knee, balancing on her spine while pulling back on her head. He sighs breathlessly when Elska grins to the obvious pain Lidia is experiencing and although he would like to relish this moment, he kicks his right leg out. He can feel the trauma to her cervical vertebrae vibrate through her bones the moment she finally silences. He takes notice to how the handle was launched back out her mouth as it now lays, bloodied in front of them. ‘Godddd it feels so good to finally be able to do that…’, he speaks internally as he releases her hair, allowing her head and body to bounce off of the ground and straightens his posture.

Getou stands in complete disbelief, ‘That’s what he meant by Lidia’s purpose?!’. He’s not upset by her death but he finds himself in complete incredulity from listening to how his mentor behaves around this Elska. He thinks about how spearing Naoya was the wrong route to take now as he can sense the darkness and hostility still seeping from her. Suguru can tell how strong she is by her presence and finally understands why Genghis has been so adamant about her cooperation. ‘Would I be able to overpower her?’, he’s convinced that he isn’t capable and wonders how his mentor can seem so calm in this situation. ‘Does he want her for himself?’, Suguru doesn’t actually believe that but wonders where this strange fascination for her came from. He looks back over to Elska who stands stoically as her smile fades back to that resting ominous expression. He feels like he’s supposed to say something when she looks at him. The cold chill that runs down his back compels him to bow to her, “Elska, I apologize for hurting you in the past.”, but finds that somewhere in him, he actually meant it. He slowly brings his body back upright and feels his tension skyrocket as she near him.

Elska stands before Getou and raises her hand to his face. He flinches which causes her to grin and can see the look of uncertainty in Genghis’s expression. She quickly snatches Suguru’s hair and pulls him down to his knees, being enticed by his lack of resistance. He remains studying her but she can see his apprehension and enjoys causing him such muddle. She now grabs both sides of face and lowers hers down to hover over it. Toji’s presence can be felt magnetizing but thinks to him “I need more energy.”, but he doesn’t respond. She quietly speaks in her lowly tone to Suguru, “You would be suitable if you had you own thoughts…”, and gently kisses the scar on his cheek. He gasps with bewilderment as she thinks to give herself a little more time in this form. She whispers seductively, “I’m going to provide evidence for your suspicions…”, and sinks her fangs into him.

Suguru is stunned immediately as he feels the bliss circulate through him. It takes him a moment to realize that he’s moaning deeply and has even since placed his hands on Elska, holding her as she draws from him. His moans turn into whimpers as he clings to her waist and thigh all while not understanding how this feeling could be possible. He shuts his eyes as he feels his body give and fall to the side but she drops down with him in order to not break their connection. Titers start rushing towards him aggressively but hears Genghis say, “Do not interfere!”, with full authority. What his ears pick up now cause his eyes to roll back as Elska moans into his neck. He feels her presence surge back up but it lowers a little each time until she swallows. He now finds that the hand not supporting his weight is now wrapped in her hair and loosens his grip so that can be gentle. When she’s done, she closes his wounds and whines lowly, “You need more time but you could be worthy.”. Their eyes meet and she continues in a much colder tone, “Be weary of how you approach me in the future…and don’t you dare come after my lovers again.”, as he can see she’s lethally serious.

Genghis helps Suguru to his feet, trying to provide the balance for them both after Elska walks back to Toji. He struggles to steady his swaying pupil and can’t believe that she actually bit him right then and there. Getou is still heavily breathing with wide eyes that are fixated on her. He whispers, “That was incredible…”, and finds that Getou’s expression is now that of someone who longs for the other. He calls out sheepishly, “Th-Thank you for not harming him.”, and shifts their stance as Getou seems to be finding composure.

Elska is so amused by these two. She has a much better understanding of Getou now that she experienced his taste. “Delicious.”, she states as she licks her fangs. Toji huffs out of spite and glares at her but she quickly whispers, “The hybrid isn’t here so that was necessary…”, noting that he doesn’t seem ok with is still. With all eyes on them, she turns to Toji and slowly pulls his head down towards her, giving the soft command, “Kiss me, my beloved.”. Toji’s eyes glow and his wings flutter even with the indecision plaguing his features. When their lips meet, she moans wholeheartedly as she found her turned’s touch to be completely intoxicating. His hesitancy remains although he’s kissing her back but she’s satisfied enough that he obeyed. She feels a weak signal from Naoya, and it steals her attention. He’s not gotten any worse but his energy is already changing. An emotion creeps into her dark heart and it aches as she remembers the actual love she harbors for her prince and Toji both. “I’m going to tend to you two right now.”, she whispers to Toji and nips his bottom lip. Elska knows for a fact that the Titers have more up their sleeve and wishes to draw a curtain on this charade for the sake of her lovers. She locks her lips to Toji’s once more, addicted to the way he feels. After their extended meeting, Elska turns her head to observe the two men’s reaction and laughs when they’re exactly what she predicted. Genghis watches with an endearing envy as Getou’s eyes express heartache. She looks over at the other Titers that are grouped together, on edge. “They will suffice.”. They’re all cowering to her but remain in a defensive stance, one of the men bears beautiful grey eyes but they’re trained on to Lidia’s body. She smirks and kisses Toji again but this time places her right hand flat against her chest and holds it there as her red lightning surrounds them. While experiencing Toji’s tongue, she extends her arm in the direction of the huddled Titers, bends her fingers and unleashes it. The red light travels so fast that three of the four Titers are unable to evade it, their bodies torn through by the energy while being crystalized at the same time. Genghis gasps in confusion as he seemed to think things were going his way. Blood pumps out of Elska’s wings into a pattern of symbols that surrounds her and Toji and then the markings glow. Toji ‘s eyes respond along with hers as his widen, remembering that same blood design around her in the park. She thinks to him, ‘I take life from death.’, and smiles to his wide-eyed nod. What’s left of the Titers bodies breaks down into a red powder, swirls into a vortex in the air and then travels gracefully over to Toji and Elska. The Titer dust blankets around their wounds and fuses with the exposed tissue, healing them both. She waves her hand to direct the remnants and sends it towards Naoya. As the glass shards push out of her body, she watches Toji’s burns become nonexistent and hums with gratification. Naoya’s presence increases as he’s rapidly healed, his burns disappearing as well. His wavelengths tell her he’s still in pain, even when unconscious but she knows it due to his body now rejecting the spear. “That should do it.”. She nudges her beloved to show him and listens to him exhale relief. “He’s taking to the change extremely well.”, she says to Toji confidently, hiding her bafflement of the rate in which the DNA synthesis is working. Her being in true form was surely going to speed up the process but he shouldn’t have such an intense aura already. She runs her hand down Toji’s chest while still studying Naoya, “He is going to be strong.”, and contemplates on his perfection, “Just like you.”.

Genghis retracts his smile as soon as he realizes his fellow clansmen are no more and that things are not going as planned. ‘WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?!’. He turns to Getou who’s mirroring his wide eyes but doesn’t know how handle this right away. Not once in any of the futures he seen has this happened. He was aware of the possibility of alteration but this goes far beyond anything he prepared for. “Something’s wrong.”, he panics, “We won’t be able to take her.”, is all he can say as he thinks of what to do next. Sain appears by them as he was the one Titer that escaped her lightning and Genghis sighs being overjoyed that he at least survived.

Getou is so astonished by what he witnessed and says, “We need to run.”. He’s still figuring out his new emotions but doesn’t mistake for a second that she won’t kill them too. He thinks of all of the times her importance has been reiterated to him and it finally makes sense. Suguru fails to see how he would be able to control her though and also now understands why Genghis has been pushing him to face his feelings about her. Now he has. The convergence of puzzle pieces lock together to form the bigger picture but he fears that he’s even further away from their goal of her affections as he gathers they’ve royally pissed her off with their actions. His mentor doesn’t seem as eager to flee and Suguru’s had about enough of his twisted games. He grabs Genghis in a panic, “WE NEED TO RUN!”.

Genghis understands Getou’s reaction but turns to Sain, “I have the most daunting task for you but if you can achieve it, the rewards will be endless…”, and passes him a syringe filled with sedative. This will shift all of their plans but he knows there’s really not another choice left at this point. He may even be foolish for attempting this. He brings stern eyes to Getou and whispers, “We need leverage first.”.

Elska watches the third Titer disappear into thin air and becomes aggravated by their inability to take her seriously. Her collected demeanor fades momentarily when she senses him behind them, near Naoya. She bears her fangs and roars as she launches herself towards the man while he bends down over him. She salivates at the idea of ripping his throat out but before she can reach him, he disappears again. She ends up having to use her wings to slow her speed so she can lean over Naoya to make sure he’s not been harmed further. The emotions that usually flow through her begin to resurface as she becomes weary for his safety while searching his body, noticing the spear has almost worked its way out. She sighs gratefully, “My prince…” and feels the love for him melt away at her ability to maintain her form so she steps away, ‘There’s still more to do first.’. She hears Genghis yell, “We will be in contact!”, but quickly snaps her head when she hears Toji struggling. Getou can be heard screaming, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”, and before she knew it, she was racing against time trying to reach her beloved that has fallen limp in the third Titer’s hold with a needle sticking out of his arm. She howls in anguish when her finger tips grasp at nothing, revealing the stark fact that she was too late. They took Toji with them. She doesn’t even breathe as her failure boils through. Looking up to the sky she cries out the demonic like sound while her energy releases a tremoring wave that further devastates the structures that remain around her. When the wave travels into the restaurant, it fans in oxygen, further feeding the flames and she can’t help but think the heat has nothing on rage inside of her. She continues to send out wave after wave until the building begins to crumble and she remembers that she still has Naoya who is defenseless. “My beloved…”, she whimpers under her breath as her presence begins to fade knowing that her time in this state is up, feeling heavy. She walks over to where Naoya lays and drops to her knees beside him. Tears fall from her face as she takes his hand and asks, “What do I do?”. Feeling hopeless and exhausted, she lays down next to him and curls up near his chest while his unconscious body faces her. “I lost Toji…”. After a few minutes of sobbing into Naoya she feels her awareness fading and clings to him desperately. She hears her name being screamed following by her body being lifted off of the ground and against someone’s warmth. The last thing she sees before completely passing out is Satoru’s teary eyes.

“ELSKA!”, his voice is distant as her limbs relax, not having any strength left.

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tagging: @angelofthorr

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frogtanii · 5 years ago

Text

falling for you ✨

request: @lil-mellow-bunbun

pairs: tanaka x reader

warnings: slight slight angst??, fluff, maybe a lil ooc

an: bruh this took SO LONG, also i am so so sorry if this is bad ily i hope this is fine 🙈

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tanaka is easily enamored. that isn’t to say that he doesn’t have taste because we all know that just isn’t the case, (i mean, have you seen kiyoko?) but he often finds himself longing after a beautiful girl that he spots for just a moment, maybe leaving the train or shopping in the grocery store.

he knows these infatuations are temporary. he’s used to the pang in his chest when it sinks in that he’ll never see those girls again and the pain grows even worse when he realizes he probably wouldn’t even get a second glance if he’d actually approached them.

so tanaka hides. he watches from afar, waiting for the oh so familiar anguish to attack his heart once he sees the next woman run headfirst into the arms of another. he hides behind his loud and brash personality because he knows if he lets down his walls, he’ll just be hurt again.

it isn’t all bad, he reasons with himself. he has nishinoya and the volleyball team and the lovely kiyoko that he’s sure will return his affections one day, if he just tries hard enough. he has the thrill of the sport he loves, people he cares about and who care about him. i’m okay, he tells himself again and again, when he finds himself falling for women who will never even know his name.

the cycle is all so normal for him that when he spots you at the tokyo training camp, laughing with kuroo and somehow getting kenma to smile, he’s expecting it. what he’s not expecting, however, is the sheer intensity of his emotions towards you.

the first time you approach him, he nearly chokes on his tongue. you were helping the other managers clean up the gym after a grueling practice match between nekoma and karasuno when you notice a stray water bottle near the corner. you jog towards it, recognizing that all of your team had theirs which meant that it must be a crow’s. picking it up, you scan the gym, searching for someone who wasn’t drinking anything. that’s when you spot him.

you don’t consider yourself someone to get easily flustered so when you lock eyes with the the tall, muscular teen and heat fills your cheeks, you’re almost astonished at yourself. get it together!! you mumble as you head over to the group of boys seated across the gym from you. they shouldn’t be this intimidating, you think as your sneakers squeak to a stop just a foot away from tanaka.

“hi! i found this bottle in the corner and i noticed you didn’t have one. is it by any chance yours?” you give tanaka a warm smile and he swears that you’re an angel right from heaven. when he opens his mouth to respond with a suave and sexy quip, nothing comes out but a mouthful of gargling noises. his lips clamp shut as a blush overtakes his entire face and you can’t help but giggle at his adorable demeanor. you place the bottle by his foot and pat his shoulder as you stand. “take a drink! maybe it’ll help.” when you wink at him, he immediately feels his soul leave his body. as you walk away, yamamoto appears beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and laughing loudly. tanaka finds it in himself to feel disappointed through the haze of embarrassment, when his ears pick up something very interesting.

“- little sis!” the rest was muffled by the rushing of blood in his head but that piece of information brightened his whole day. he still had a chance with you! or so he hoped but he wouldn’t give up! he would get you to talk to him again (and hopefully he’d respond back this time).

he took his second chance at dinner. you, of course, sat at the nekoma table in between your brother and kenma, occasionally giving him some gaming advice or making a well placed joke in the conversation going on before you. after a while, your thoughts began to drift as your eyes wandered the cafeteria. they flitted from person to person until they landed on him. you couldn’t help your immediate reaction which was to gasp and cover your cheeks which were swiftly heating up. you were only human and he was a fine specimen.

once you gather up the courage, you glance back at him, only to pause when you see him staring right back at you. a blush was fast to overtake his cheeks as he gave you a sheepish smile and a little wave. you grin back and waggle your fingers, just to embarrass him a little further. this definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by the rest of his table which immediately bursts into laughter and teasing. when you catch his gaze again, you flash him an apologetic smile before continuing your conversation at your table. his lips curl up as he looks down at the table, basking in your unexplainable light, only to be snapped out of his thoughts when he hears nishinoya make a lewd comment about your chest size. that’s quickly put to an end with a swift chop to the back of his head.

after dinner ends, tanaka is determined to find you, to hold a conversation with you but you’re nowhere to be found. he ends his discussion with noya and bursts out of the dining hall, his shaved head darting from side to side, hoping to catch a glimpse of where you disappeared to. he waits outside that dining hall for at least another five minutes before resigning to the fact that you probably had already gone to bed, giving him no chance to speak with you again.

tanaka decides to head off to bed as well, passing an open gym on his way there. a tinkling laugh drifts out the open doorway and it stops him completely in his tracks. hesitantly, he follows the voice, gently pushing the door open and what he sees punches the air from his lungs.

you look ethereal, covered in a faint sheen of sweat from your activities and laughing with a gorgeous smile on your face. tanaka physically can’t look away from your beauty, your presence before him stunning him to the point of silence. his eyes track your movements as you move back to one side of the net, squatting down with a look of determination written all over your face. a quick look to the other side of the net reveals akaashi and bokuto getting ready to spike for you.

tanaka can’t tear his eyes away from the scene unfolding in front of him. he’s never seen you play but he has seen bokuto’s powerful spikes so he can’t help but worry for you. he doesn’t have much time to worry though because before he knows it, akaashi is setting the ball and bokuto is slamming it down hard on the other side of the net. time seems to move in slow motion as you move and- you receive it. you actually receive bokuto’s spike! tanaka’s heart swells at your cheers of excitement. as you hug your partners, he turns away, happy to see this part of you but mildly upset you didn’t ask him to spike for you. he begins walking back down the sidewalk when he hears steps running towards him.

tanaka turns towards the noise to see you, panting and out of breath right behind him. his throat seizes up again and he feels faint when your hand shoots out to grab his arm, your warm hands burning against his skin. “uhh...” this was one of the few times tanaka felt absolutely speechless under your unintentionally intense gaze.

“oh my gosh, i’m sorry!” you quickly snatch your hand from his arm and give him a sheepish smile. “i just noticed you from the door and i wanted to come say hi! you’re yamamoto’s friend, tanaka, right?” all he can do is nod as you grab his hand and pull him to start walking beside you. “sooo, you’re really good at volleyball! i saw you spiking in the game versus nekoma and it was crazy strong!” his face fills with red as he turned towards you and bowed deeply.

“thank you taketora-san!” you can’t help but giggle and help him stand to his full height once more. “no need, tanaka-kun! though, i wonder why you aren’t as loud with me as you are with your teammates and everyone else..” these words cause tanaka to freeze up. did you know how he felt about you? you continue to speak, unaware of tanaka’s inner thoughts. “i’d really like to hang out with you if you’re okay with that!” tanaka nods aggressively, knowing that now he has his chance to make his move on you (with your consent of course)!

you finally make it to the manager’s rooms, stopping in front of tanaka with a shy smile on your face. “thank you for walking with me tanaka-kun. i appreciate it,” you lean up and place a gentle kiss on his cheek before turning back into the room. tanaka was vibrating with excitement, unaware that he barely spoke a word to you instead racing off to his room to brag to nishinoya about how he got a kiss before him.

finally, it was the day of the barbecue. all the managers were passing out watermelon as the boys took their well-deserved rest on the lawn while awaiting the delicious meat. as you grabbed another tray of fruit from yachi and begun to pass it out, you couldn’t help but notice all the leering eyes on you as you bent down to pick up an empty rind. you know that they’re just “boys being boys” but you were starting to get uncomfortable, the whispers becoming loud enough to reach your ears.

“damn, look at nekoma’s manager. who knew she’d be so cute!” “yeah, i thought karasuno had the cutest managers but i guess we were wrong.” you feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, one of your hands shooting down to pull your shirt over your butt. you were just about to excuse yourself to go hide in the bathroom when a loud booming voice interrupts your escape.

“oi! keep your pervy eyes off of nekoma’s manager!” you swiftly turn at the sound of tanaka’s voice to see him, nishinoya, and yamamoto standing in front of you, blocking the view from the creeps. you can’t help your heart beating out of your chest at the sweet gesture so you place the tray of fruit down and barrel into the boys, wrapping your arms around tanaka’s waist in particular. you can feel him tense up in your arms but you can’t see his fearful glances that he gives to your brother. yamamoto just laughs and claps a large hand on his shoulder.

“you can take her out dude! i totally respect you and i know you’ll take good care of her!” at that, your brother bows deeply followed by tanaka’s own deep bow. you roll your eyes and take tanaka’s hand, pulling him close to you and kissing his cheek before whispering in his ear, “i can’t wait to go on a date with you..” with that, you turn and walk away to join your fellow managers, not surprised to hear nishinoya’s clear yell, “dude!! i want to date a hot manager!!”

tanaka can’t help but grin, finally feeling full.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#hq x reader #hq tanaka #haikyuu tanaka #tanaka x y/n #tanaka x reader #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu requests #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons

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btswishes · 4 years ago

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Love me for who I am now

Bucky x Reader ( Chapter 6)

Previous / Next (7)

Summary: You apply for the Stark internship and end up getting it, so now you have 5 months to make a good impression to continue working with the Avengers.

A/N: Is it juicy yet?👀 I have added a song to listen to at a particular part - gives the story a better feeling. Sorry for any mistakes made, hope you enjoy it even a tiny bit.

Tag list: @vicmc624 @yasminwashere

Word count: 3,719

Warmings: fights, harsh language, not part of the original MCU

Y/N- Your name

Y/L/N- Your Last Name

Vocabulary 40s:

cookie - a girl who is cute

decked out - dressed up in an attractive way

eager beaver - an enthusiastic helper; a person who is excited about something

dame - a woman

doll dizzy - a boy who is crazy about girls

----------------------------

The drive to your destination was filled with fear, worry - the very anxiety seeping through your skin into your muscles, blood leading it to each apex of your body, feeding your mind numerous endings. You were no Dr. Strange, but at this very moment the only sensation was the contrast of burning unavoidable expectation and cool alluring cold coming from Bucky’s vibranium arm.

Pulled abruptly out of yourself, Steve stepped on the breaks and pushed the car door open. Your head flung to him pulling the bags out of the backseat and unzipping them. Bucky followed his old friend, letting your figure finally stand on its own, free of the safety of his embrace. Taking a couple of breaths in, you felt your chest expand and collapse again under the atmospheric pressure.

“ Y/N.”Steve called out to you, waving his hand to pull your attention towards himself. Autopilot moved you around the metal of the vehicle right next to both men. Bucky was tightening his holsters to make sure it was all snug and tight, biting into his chest muscles. Steve leaned his shield against the car, throwing you a bag. The suit inside caught your eye, bottles of vibranium dust resting atop. With trembling fingers, you pulled he material out letting the soft yet sturdy sensation run up your nerves.

A metal clank contracted your neck muscles – Bucky’s hand flung the trunk door open.

“You can get dressed here.” His big figure turned around, casting a shade over you “I won’t look, promise.” In a weird way, his first reaction was to cover you as much as possible, doing a mind check over his arsenal.

“Are you going to be the wall this time?” as clouded with fear as you were, a small tease escaped your dressing figure – fabric sliding over your thighs and up your chest. Bucky threw his head forward coaxed by a laugh.

“Sure, you can say so. Since the last one couldn’t hide that cute mole you have right on your side.”

“YOU DID PEEP!”Your throat let out a screech resembling that of a bird of prey, caused by the realization. His body swiftly rotated towards you, flesh hand cupping your mouth shut.

“Shhh. We don’t want to get caught doll.” Bucky’s gaze checked the perimeter before sliding towards you and down to your chest, where the metal zipper laid comfortably between your breasts.

“Maybe don’t boil the water if you don’t want the kettle to whistle.” Steve tapped his shield, sending his friend a stern look. He knew exactly what was happening and tried to make it easy on your poor maiden soul as much as he could.

“You telling me ya wouldn’t tease this cookie?” James threw the words with a whip of his head over to Steve’s back. “I gotta thank Stark for decking her out like this.”

“Calm down eager beaver.” Bucky smirked at Steve’s words, as his ocean eyes pulled you in to his magical land, losing connection with the world around just to sink deeper “You were always popular with the dames Buck, never thought I would see the day when you would become doll dizzy.”

“Only for this one.” His fingers crawled up your front alluringly, taking his time remembering each curve and dip he could find, before squeezing the zipper and covering your exposed skin from the world and unwanted eyes.

“Hey!” finally being able to escape his lulling gaze, you slapped his hand away, throwing the bag in the trunk and aggressively closing it shut, shaking the car up in the action.

“Feisty lil’ one.”

“Oh shut up.”

The conversation came like thunder on a sunny day, but you couldn’t deny it sucked out some of your stress right out of the skin on skin contact with the tank of a man, now walking behind you. Movie worthy, that was the new feeling bubbling in your guts as you walked tall next to Cap with his gear. The iced dust under your shoes crackled marking each step away from the getaway car. The glass bottles dangling around your waist acted like a safe space for you, knowing that you weren’t empty handed.

“Will someone brief me a bit?” the corner of your eye caught Steve smile at your question, his chest swelling up with a bit of fatherly pride

“Already sounding like an Avenger aren’t we Miss Y/N” pulling out the intercoms they bounced off his meaty palm into your hands and between Bucky’s fingers. You fumbled with it for a moment before finding a comfortable seat for them in your left ear.

“Test test?” Steve’s finger pressed on the blue plastic, hitting you with his voice almost directly in your brain “HYDRA became very active the past few weeks. They have been snooping into old human experiments from the 40s.”

“The 40s?” you had to fight your rush of shock from directing it to the sole survivor of that plan walking behind you, casting a protective shadow over your path

“Weird, we know. Our job is to get info, bust down anything that seems dangerous and leave with as little causalities as possible.”

“To us. You can fuck up anyone else in there.” Bucky added combative energy faintly tracked in his notes

“What is my job?”

“The three of us have to get to the center of that building.” The shield rose in the direction of an old almost abandoned for millennia looking construction. Snow piled on top almost camouflaging it from the rest of the universe. The back door had no one guarding it making the eerie feeling sprout roots inside your heart. Steve placed his ear on the door, letting his super soldier hearing take in as many sounds as possible, letting him deduce that the coast was clear for now. Upon pushing the handle down the men realized that the material was almost impenetrable – not even Bucky could take it down.

“What now? We can’t waltz in from the front like ‘hi we are the avengers’.” He mocked the whole plan, throwing his arms in the air, letting them fall back down with the same energy “ We were lucky enough this side didn’t have anyone guarding it. I don’t think we will have a second go at this with the same success.” he seemed weirdly on edge for a professional with years of experience

“May I?” head ducked down, your eyes moved from one super soldier to the other. They made way, anything would be better than actually going in from another place. Elbows bend back, the nails on your thumbs swiftly unplugged the bottles dangling at your sides. The gentle movements mirroring a ballerina pulled the dust out, mobilizing the small particles for action. They easily penetrated the hinges before busting them open with the spread of your fingers. The light thud the door let out falling onto Steve’s chest with a slight bounce ,signaled the granted entrance.

“Gentlemen first.” A mischievous smile tugged onto your skin, waving your hand for them to walk past you. Pride swirled around, having done something helpful to the mission before it even started - technically.

Turning to the side the men stepped inside the dimly lit corridor. Flickering lights would reflect over Cap’s shield and Bucky’s arm, both of them ready for a fight at each corner they turned. Being in front of you like a barricade against danger, you decided for now to call back the vibranium forming the good old gauntlets – formidable punch, guaranteed to make anyone’s dentist’s pockets happy. The forked path froze Steve, now having him think of any good decisions for a continuation.

“ I go left you take Y/N and go right.” Steve sighed out, tense and wary of each quiet moment passed

“You sure about this?” Bucky unsheathed a knife and swung it over at his friend, making his eyes lay on the shiny sharp edge

“Keep it pal.” One big hand pushed away another “I got my trusty partner over here.” palm tapping the curve of the shield

“Um guys, how about we all go left?”

“Nah doll, let’s go with Stevie’s plan.”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but I think that the path with shiny blue light and talking men sounds like our destination. 3 against all of them is better than 1 man and his circular sonoluminescent slab of metal.”

“My what?” Steve’s lids squinted, the gears in his head turning slowly to understand your science language.

“Ummm~...Thor hit, shield vibrate and make lighttt~?” the awkward smile plastered all over your face was more than enough to discourage the man from any further education in this era

“Wait wait.” Bucky shook his arm in front of you two, cutting his best friend some slack “How did you hear them? This- this isn’t a frequency you should even be able to catch.”

“But…it is pretty loud and clear. They are even talking about some portal.”

“ Y/N this isn’t something you just hear, come to think of it you excel in your traini-“

“Buck drop it. We can talk when we are back in car, what matters is that we are onto something here and I don’t like how it is looking.”

“I mean I don’t know if this will help ,but I hear 5 more people coming our way from the other direction.” there was no need to point it out seeing as how your team mates were already standing in their signature fight poses. Bucky’s left hand grabbed at you, fingers pushing deep enough to bruise, as he anchored you behind his large frame.

“HEY!” approaching enemies located you pretty easy. All of them armed to the teeth with too many heavy weaponry for some odd reason. Steve covered you two from the first gun shots letting the bullets flatten into caps against his shield. The whole situation caught you off guard almost forgetting all the battle training with Natasha. Who were you kidding, she would go easy on you, these men were out to kill and you were a pretty good target for them.

It was an art form, the way these heavy men were moving between bodies and taking them down like flies. Mistake number 2 - you were too focused on them.

“Y/N!” Bucky’s hair slapped his opposite cheek as his eyes widened filling with fear enough to pollute that deep blue. His knife flew inches from your skin taking with it some of your hair clean off. A yelp left your throat the moment the sharp edge dug into the lung of a random unfortunate guy trying his luck with you. Steve quickly counted the bodies noticing one empty blood patch on the floor. Bucky indulged into relief seconds too soon, letting your safe and healthy figure reflect onto his cornea.

“Bucky!” oh how ironic it was, yelling each other’s names. Danger loved to watch people dance but in a pair. Your fingers reached out to him even though you knew how far you were from him, the man dashing with anger and a last dying wish to take one of you with him down to hell. The corridor began almost elongating in front of you playing a sadistic illusion. Shouting out ‘James’ was the drop needed to overflow your unconscious lake, hands engulfing the atmosphere in an unknown move before making contact with him. Your arms pulled him in like a protective mother as the warmth of a liquid spilled all over your face.

“Y/N, Buck!” Steve dashed over, making sure the last of the scumbags was actually on his way to be judged upon hell’s gates. The vibranium formed into the elegant shape of a knife dripped with the piping life you just took.

“Y/N!” Bucky shook you a couple of times. He scanned your face, palms wiping away as much of the blood as he could, making sure to keep it away from your mind.

“I-....I just killed someone.” the muddy blob of blood and vibranium in your hand, glistening no more - sinfully tainted.

“It’s ok, it’s ok.” Bucky kept brushing your hair back, casting a breathy spell of words “It’s not your fault. It’s mine.” color leaving your cheeks, mind flooded with thoughts. Your whole body worked in a minimal rhythm as if it was denying it. “Doll...doll?” scared, he was scared of the lack of speech

“No, no.” shacking out of his grip, Steve had to push his hand at your lower back, stopping you from rolling onto the floor and into more now cold and drying blood. They both sat, watching you losing your innocents. It was something disgusting, torturous to anyone, still even to them years later. “You don’t get it.” your calm heart beat filled their ears “I don’t feel...anything.” trying to find hope in their faces led you only to more tangled webs of confusion “I just sliced a man’s head clean off his body. At- at first was...- I thought I was just in shock, but now...nothing. No fear, no regret, no panic is coming to me.” silence oh you beautiful song, come and cover these children and hide away their misery from one another. Stay with them until their distress subsides, until they remember who they are. And so she did, letting only the air escaping between your head and Bucky’s chest make itself known.

Minute after minute yet you didn’t feel any different. Tapping the man’s bicep he released you, letting you take a breath in that wasn’t soaked with his intoxicating scent.

“Sorry. ”he muffled out his voice

“Let’s talk this out later.” another to the list of issues “Let’s wrap this up, I don’t think my 106 year old self can take any more surprises.”

Giving each other a quick nod, both Bucky and Steve were back in stealth positions almost floating over the dirty and crumbly ground. No sound not even a vibration from the air in front of their nostrils. With a quick look at them you adapted fast becoming part of the shadows dancing under the broken lights. The corridor began shrinking, leading you to a hall divided only by 2 doors. Old, chewed up wood being your only blanket away from the eyes of potential predators.

“This better work!” a deep male tone huffed out from the side, mobilizing you 100% back to reality and the mission at hand.

“It has to work!” a second man joined in, his voice filled with determination “We lost the soldiers because of shitty planning.” Bucky’s skin crawled, his nerves sending impulses from deep in his memory.

“Calm down, if my calculations are correct we can get them back fresh from the factory.” The laugh was laced with potent evil, as they spoke of human beings as frozen meat from a butcher shop

“Shut up and turn it on!” an almost painfully familiar echo interjected the conversation “ Find the exact moment and grab them.”

Keycap tapping and machine sounds began spreading around the hall, seeping through the cracks in the door where you 3 were positioned. Steve threw a look at Bucky and you, almost asking how many people you thought were in there. The nail on your middle left finger rose up and made 3 long followed by two short taps atop the hard surface – Morse code for 8. The contorting looks they threw made you point at the small crack next to you. The vibranium dust formed a flat reflective surface letting you spy inside, without having to expose any of your body parts.

“Oh God, it’s working!” the strong flash bounced off the mirror scorching your pupils almost right off. Bucky winced followed by a hiss from you.

“How far are we back?”

“I don’t know, I can’t configurator this yet. Wait.”

“What? What?”

“Someone is coming! I can’t shut this off!”

“Don’t! Kill whoever it is! We need to succeed this or our heads will be rolling!” the man yelled out, from the condition of his voice you could tell he was flaring his arms from side to side.

“Who are you!” the clicking of a gun paired with a sweet female voice took over the room, sending Steve a signal to jump in. Everything was going downhill for the HYDRA agents, it was now or never. With the number 8 in mind Bucky bend his leg into his knee, exerting sheer inhuman strength, sending the two doors flying inside announcing the arrival of the Avengers. Your fingers weaved the dust off your soft skin and into 10 sharp spears above your head, gently forming a halo behind your back.

“Fuck!” the men cussed out trying to stay away from the door, enjoying its first flight after years of pension “Great, Captain America !” dressed like a scientist, the man closed his laptop, putting it away safely under his armpit. The light coming from the wall began to vanish slowly but surely

“YOU IDIOT!” yelled out his partner

Out of pure muscle memory you tried to pull the tech out of the sloppy grasp of the enemy, but he saw the cloud coming.

“Fuck this shit!” the unsheathing of a firearm pulled your gaze at the man pointing right at Bucky. His finger slowly pulled back the trigger, spewing out the metal bullet spiraling in the air with speed above that of a human. Bucky’s super soldier abilities pulled his metal arm up, but no clank of materials echoed, the burning capsule sizzling, nestled inside of your grasped fist hovering in front of your partner’s head.

“Go go!” Steve tried to stop them, but the shield got repelled by some type of force field. Bucky was in shock, the warm blood rolling off your skin onto the frozen floor, steam waves leaving as it cooled off.

“They got away!” Steve pushed his finger gently over the intercom sending a message to the rest at the compound “We failed.” His fist hit the wall standing unfortunate next to his strong figure

“Not- “ you hissed, releasing the bullet letting it chime upon contact with the ground “-not necessarily.” Between the metaphorical fingers of the dust cloud you held the very USB that was previously inside the laptop dangling without protection “I think they should be smarter next time, with data I mean.” Your body straightened, Bucky hovering next to you, hands not that far from you just in case. Cap sighed out, his consciousness feeling less aggravated by the failed mission upon you all.

“Not bad for a fist time kid.” He rubbed the top of your head, tugging on a growl from Bucky, low but noticeable upon your contact with his friend.

Song to listen to from here down.

“Steve?” it was the female. Her presence forgotten in the hall, as you 3 relished in the small win. Her heels echoed in rhythm with the Captain’s slowly moving figure. It looked like slow motion as the woman came closer. Her elegant fingers folding the metal of the historical looking gun. Your hands pulled the vibranium in defense, till Bucky’s arm stopped you, his eyes not peeling off of the woman with each of her steps. Her chocolate curls bounced off her shoulders, some draping gently over the collar of the olive colored uniform. Her knees tugged onto the skirt making bigger and much more confidant strides towards the blond man. It felt like a century of them adjusting to each other’s eyelevel.

“Steve…”her voice trembled as her eyes took in the man standing in front of her. His self reflecting into her eyes, soaking deep past them. Half way up his body, Steve grasped her gently with a need. The woman’s hand dropped the gun to the ground thankfully without a shot as her other one slid up his right cheek. Steve’s fingers still holding onto her, intertwined into her grasp, letting his head lean into her gentle touch. His lip quivered slightly. America’s hero, the strong super soldier that gave his life for his country without a second thought, now coming undone in this woman’s presence.

“ Steve…” her voice dripped with a breathy chuckle without a smile. You didn’t need to know them to feel the need and longing spilling out of them. It was just a split second before he let go and warped his arms around her waist pulling her off the ground and flush against his chest, wishing to be as close as possible to her.

“Peggy.” Steve breath out, swallowing in the tears beginning to glaze his eyes, soothing the burning around his nose.

“Peggy?” stagnant notes pushed out from your throat, gaze thrown over Bucky as he nodded back at you. They stayed in each other’s embrace for a few minutes feeling like years to them. You could tell Steve didn’t want to let her down. But past the feelings that bubbled out from the past, he found confusion.

“Peggy why are you here? How are you here?” his hands kept placing strands of hair behind her ear, eyes roaming over her face making sure she was real time and time again.

“I-I don’t know. “ her head looked in the direction of the previously existing light “ I was on a mission when I saw a weird light and voices. I followed and now I am here…with you.” One thing was for sure, she couldn’t go back anymore.

“I am sorry to cut this short, but we have to leave now.” You swung your arm, pulling everyone’s attention your way “We don’t know how many HYDRA agents are here and I don’t plan to take my chances with them on my first mission.”

“You, what are you doing here?” Peggy had a gentle smile, letting the red lipstick expose her teeth

“Long story Peggy, Bucky went through some stuff but he is with us now an-“

“Y/N.” Agent Carter let your name roll off her lips with such familiarity it almost got you believing into something as old as time.

“What?” Bucky observed the situation feeling like Alice in Wonderland

“I haven’t seen you for a few years now.” She continued

“You-you know me?” the words stuttered on their way out

“Of course. Y/N Y/L/N.”

Let’s say that Cap’s 106 year old self survived another unexpected surprise.

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fanfictionera · 4 years ago

Text

Veterans Home (SteveRogersxReader)

A/N: For whatever reason, this one shot would not stop floating around my head. Just a cute little fluff piece. Enjoy

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Synopsis: Living with eleven other people, who you spend the majority of your time with, can get a little overwhelming. So everyone gets personal time within the compound. Whether people use it to workout, site see or just take a nap, it's time that is uninterrupted. Steve has been leaving the compound lately and you become curious as to where he is going. You finally find out.

Word Count: 4180

Warnings: So much fluff and cute Cap. Y/G/P/M- Your Guilty Pleasure Movie

Tag List

Veterans Home

You sat on the couch with Natasha, a bowl of popcorn between the two of you and random stacks of movies scattered around the coffee table in front of you. You had decided to use your free afternoon to watch some favorites.

Currently you were watching (Y/G/P/M). You let out a small laugh in response to a joke when you heard footsteps enter into the living area.

“Hey, Steve.” You said as you peered around to see him grabbing a gatorade from the fridge.

He turned back around with a smile, “Hey, enjoying your afternoon?”

“Immensely.” You responded as Natasha turned up the volume. “Headed out?”

“I won't be out long,” He came around and stood behind the couch. “I’ll have my phone if you need me but,”

Nat sighed as she cut him off, “Only call if it's an emergency, like someone is dying, aliens are attacking and the fate of the world rests on our shoulders, emergency. Got it.” She didn't look away from the screen. “Now shush it's getting to the good part.”

“I’ll see ya later.” He said a little louder, just to annoy Nat.

You had to hold back your smile as you saw Nat’s eyes squint slightly and you could tell she was contemplating murder. “See ya.” You waved as he walked out of the room. “Where do you think he goes?”

Nat was silent.

“Oh come on, you’ve seen this a million times.” You laugh as you throw a pillow at her head.

She caught it. “He used to go see Peggy and after her passing he stayed in for a while, but now I don't know. Guess that's why it's HIS personal time.”

“Stop. Where can he even go where he’s not bombarded by the press or fans?” You question. “Do you think it's a girl?”

Nat instantly paused the movie. “It would be a very Steve thing to do.”

“Not bring her back here, as to not overwhelm her.” You continued. “Could it be a newer thing?”

“Or a not even a thing but he wants it to be a thing, thing.” Nat’s eyebrows slowly scrunched as she spoke.

You took a moment to go back over her sentence. “A crush?”

“Oh no,” Nat picked back up the remote. “Is that jealousy I hear.”

You took the remote from her hands. "Nope."

"Uh-uh." Nat said with a grin as you pushed play.

You could see Nat looking at you in your peripherals. "You can side eye me all you want Romanoff. Steve's a big boy and if he wants something to do with me he can decide that."

"You're a big girl too ya know." Nat responded. "I'll put twenty bucks on you.""I'm not, fine I'll take that bet." You brought your hands up to a lazy high five before the two of you settled back into your day off without another word spoken about the situation.

…............................................................................................................................

You sat at the breakfast bar eating some leftover spaghetti. It was just past noon and everyone seemed to be doing their own thing, so you decided to grab some food and catch up on life. You sat with your bowl in front of you, an elbow on the table with your phone propped up in front of your face, your other hand shoveling forkfuls of pasta in your mouth every few minutes.

Steve walked into the kitchen, drawing your attention. You slowly lowered your phone to the counter as he walked to the other side across from you.

“How was your afternoon yesterday?” You asked as he rummaged through the cabinet.

He turned with a bag of chips in his hand. “It was great.”

“You won't give me anything?” You pushed with a smile. “Just something little, come on.”

He took the chip clip off and tossed it on the counter. “It's called personal time for a reason.”

He leaned back against the counter as he reached into the bag, a defiant smirk plastered on his face.

“Lets see,” You continued after taking another bite. “Are you learning something new and are too embarrassed to share?”

“No.” Steve reached back into the bag, “I'm amazing at everything I do, no need for embarrassment.”

You shook your head, “Oh! Fight Club?” You pretended to get extremely excited.

“Rule number one.” Steve instantly shot back, “Good movie.”

“Trying to change the subject?” He smiled back at you as you sat for a moment silently before an even bigger grin spread across your face. “Does Steve have a girlfriend?”

He laughed, “No, I mean not exactly.”

“Oh!” Your interest peaked instantly. “So there is a girl!” He quickly turned to leave the room. “This isn't over Rogers.” You sing songed after him.

Just before he left the room he turned and shrugged as he popped another chip in his mouth.

You shook your head with a smirk, “Oh Steve, I’ll get it out of you one of these days.” You finished off your food before heading back to your room.

…............................................................................................................................

Your alarm goes off, pulling you out of the depths of slumber. You roll over onto your back, letting yourself sink back into the mattress. It felt so good to be in your own bed after a long mission. Four days was hardly the longest mission you had gone on but it was long enough. Everybody was ready to fall back into a normal schedule.Which is why you pulled yourself out of bed at some ungodly hour before the sun was even up, to go workout.

You waltzed into the gym as everyone else was trickling in, joking around and stretching as they got ready for the next few hours of torture.

“Where's Steve?” You asked as you came up to Sam and Bucky. Sam was tying up his shoes next to Bucky who shrugged as he stretched his flesh arm across his chest.

Your jaw practically dropped. “Thee Mr. Steve Rogers is late!?”

“Only by a few minutes, calm down.” You spun around as you heard Steve, he walked up letting his bag drop beside Sam.

“Isn't that like a decade for you?” You couldn't help but poke. “I mean you're getting up their Cap, every minute counts.”

“Go stretch. Now.” Steve pointed towards the sparring mat unamused.

Sam chuckled. “Sounds like someone's in trouble.”

“It's my middle name.” You said over your shoulder as you made your way to the mat.

Bucky gave Steve a look, “You good?”

“Yeah, just in need of a good workout.” Steve began to stretch, “Too much going on up here.” He tapped his head.

Bucky gave his friend a reassuring smile before joining Sam for their workout. Steve took a swig of water before approaching you on the mats.

“Okay, stances, let's go.” He nudged your foot.

Standing up you settled into your first defensive stance. “Someone's cranky.”

Steve lunges at you, testing you. With a quick step and jump you dodged out of his way. Swinging your leg back towards Steve, he brought his forearms up to block, you adjusted instantly and pulled your ankle back and dropped your angle connecting your knee with his ribs.

“I'm not cranky.” He grunted out as you fell back into your second stance.

You had to keep from smirking. “Could have fooled me.” Steve came low this time. You attempted to dodge out of the way but he clipped your foot, halting your momentum. Quickly you corrected yourself, landing on your hands you pulled your feet over and back down to the floor in a half somersault. “What did you do?”

Your question threw Steve off.

Taking advantage of the distraction you let out several punches that Steve blocked, “What do you mean what did I do?” He grabbed hold of your arm and spun you around holding you in a choke hold of sorts.

“This girl of yours, you had to have done something.” Your voice was strained as you spoke. You kicked your feet up to get leverage to free your hand. Stepping back you fell into your third stance. “You're out of it Steve. Or lost in it.” You smiled. He let out a defeated sigh, “Seriously, you look like someone died or something. What's up?”

“What if someone did, Y/N, huh?” Steve's voice almost echoed. “Why do you have to always push? Why can't we just workout.”

You stood in shock for a moment before realizing Steve was already on the offense. He swung with aggression, his movements out of his usual pattern. You just barely managed to block each one. With each swing he pushed you further back. Just as you reached the edge of the mat you snapped out of it.

You stepped to the inside of his foot, sweeping out making him lose his balance for a moment. In those seconds you went low keeping your head tucked, hoisting him up and over yourself, you made him flip over. Steve let out a slight groan as he landed face down on the hard gym floor.

“Lets fucking go.” You said sternly.

Activities in the gym came to a screeching halt as everyone cautiously watched on, eyeing each other, silently deciding who was going to step in.

You stepped back towards the center, pacing back and forth, “You got something to get out of your system? Then by all means let's get it out of your system.” You pushed again. Knowing deep down Steve was instantly regretting his actions. He didn't break eye contact “No? Then I suggest you check yourself.”

Steve clenched his jaw as he started walking to the door, leaving his bag still on the bench and the workout unfinished. You watched, keeping a stern look but feeling confused inside. Never has Steve talked to you like that, your anxiety instantly pushed its way up through your stomach, did you push him too far? Everyone's eyes were on you before they quietly went back to their workouts.

You pushed those thoughts to the back of your brain as you walked over to grab your towel, “Hey doll, don't take it too hard.” Bucky said as he held the punching bag for Sam.

You looked over, “Do you know what's going on with him?”

Bucky shrugged, “Not sure, but do me a favor?” Sam stood up breathing hard, “Let him cool down before you go talk to him.”

“Your middle name is trouble, with a capital T.” Sam shook his head laughing as he switched spots with Bucky.

“Also.” Bucky punched the the bag twice, “Whatever that was, was impressive, don't let Steve ever forget he was brought down by such a pretty dame.”

Your lips pulled into a smile as a laugh escaped. “Oh, that won't be a problem.” You say as he continues with a satisfied grin. You grabbed your things off the bench and made your way back to your room.

You walked straight into your bathroom and turned on the water to take a shower. As you stripped off your clothes you threw them onto the trunk at the end of your bed. Being barely worn you decided to wear them tomorrow to workout. Stepping into the shower you felt the hot water begin to cascade down your skin.

As you continued to wash your hair a knot of guilt began to form in the pit of your stomach. Your brain began to cycle through your fight with Steve, picking apart each second and replaying it over and over in your head. Why didn't you notice his mood change? Or that something was off? Why didn't you just stop and be there for him? Why were you such an idiot?

The thoughts cycled as you rinsed out the last bit of conditioner and all of a sudden you didn't want to be taking a shower anymore. The time it took to turn off the water and pull back the curtain and grab your towel was taking too long.

Once you had a towel in hand, you quickly began to dry off as you walked out to grab some clothes. You didn't make it to your closet, instead you sat down on your bed and held your head in your hands. You dragged your hands down your face, pulling your skin down. The wave of guilt washed over and drowned you. After several deep breaths you pulled on some clothes and made your way down the hall to Steve's room.

You softly knocked on his door and waited. “Come in!” You heard him say.

You opened the door to find him sitting on his bed with several piles of papers and folders scattered around him.

“Hey,” you say as you walk up to the bed, “Do you ever stop working?”

He picked up a new pile of papers and began to sort, “This is something that needs done, so i'm doing it.”

The tone of his voice made you feel like running, but you were already standing there in the middle of his room so the next best thing you could think of was to just get it over with. “Look, I wanted to apologize.” Steve looked up at you as he slowly sat the pile down. “I realize I took it too far, I didn't mean too.”

“Don't apologize.” Steve said after he took a deep breath, you noticed his shoulders relaxing a bit. “It's okay.”

“Sometimes I don't know how far to push it with you,” You sat down on the edge of his bed, carefully not to disturb his piles. “You keep me on my toes, always ready with a comeback or burn. Just let me know, in the future, because I really don't like grumpy Steve.”

“This week didn't quite go the way I had planned.” Steve shrugged. “You didn't take it too far, I just wasn't in the right headspace and took it out on you.”

You smiled slightly, “Anything I can do to help?”

“No, no.” He ran his hand through his hair as he let out a breathy laugh, “Thank you though.”

You stood up, “If you think of something just let me know.”

“I know where to find you.” You could see the twinkle of your favorite Steve shining through.

You started walking backwards towards the door, “Creep.” You shot back with a smile and just as you turned to leave, a basket caught your eyes.“What are these?”

“They are a present from a fan, it was delivered while we were out on the mission.” He got up off his bed and came to stand beside you.

He watched as your fingers delicately flipped through the contents. “Are these first editions?”

“Some yeah, there's a hand full in here from the forties.” He pulled one out, “But, this one is one of my favorites. Captain America: A Man Out of Time.”

The selection seemed bittersweet,

“Why?” You asked.

“It's the closest version of me I've read.” He let the comic slide back down into place, “And it's wrong.” He looked over to see your confused face. “Have you read it?”

You shake your head, “No.”

“Here.” He fished it back out. “Read it and tell me what you think.”

Before you took the material you brought your hands up around his waist, pulling him into a hug. “I’m sorry your week didn't go as planned.”

He let his arms come to rest around your shoulders. “Me too,” You pulled back. “But guess it comes with the job.”

You took the comic from him and flipped through it quickly, “That it does. See ya tomorrow and for God’s sake would you stop working for two seconds.” Steve walked towards you with a smile forcing you to walk backwards as you continued to talk, “I mean lets be real, these are your golden years, and you're going to waste it on paperwork? I would be more than happy to turn it all into confetti for ya and then the real party can start!”

He pushed you back until you were outside his door. “Goodnight Y/N.”

“Goodnight Steve.” You smiled as you made your way back to your room.

As you entered your room the ball of anxiety had disappeared and a small smile pulled at your lips.

You guys were good.

…............................................................................................................................

It was another week, another quiet day. Mainly due to the fact half of your friends were out on a mission. You were kinda bummed you didn't get to go and even more bummed Nat and Wanda had to go and you now had to find a way to entertain yourself. Everyone was out except for you and Sam, but you opted to grab a snack and chill rather than join him in the gym.

With a bowl of ice cream in hand you made your way back to your room. As you exited the elevator you noticed a small white object in the middle of the floor. As you reached down to grab it you realized it was an envelope.

You turned it over to find a blank face and you could feel something inside. When you got back to your room you sat your ice cream down and began to investigate. It was a small envelope and it wasn't sealed, the top flap was just tucked under. You carefully untucked the flap and pulled out the contents.

A thank you card was revealed and it felt thick, like there was something else inside, you thumbed the card open to reveal an invitation to a celebration of life. The name Milton John Robert was printed across the top of the paper with two pictures below it. One of a very nice looking old man and another younger version of him in his military uniform. The funeral had already passed, it took place a few weeks back during the four day mission.

After the invitation was a folded up piece of newspaper, Milton's obituary was cut out and folded up, you set it to the side. Inside the card was beautiful handwritten note:

Steve,

I know you wanted to be here and Dad would have been overjoyed but we also understand. The world never stops turning does it?

Dad looked up to you so much and we as a family can't thank you enough for filling the last of his time with such wonderful happiness.

We can never repay you for what you brought him but please take his comics. He wanted you to have them. Some of them he has had since the 40's. Enjoy them and please don't stop bringing the joy and happiness to all of the veterans at the home.

Thank you,

Jessica and Family

You felt the warmth of tears begin to well in your eyes. "Oh Steve," is all you could say as it clicked with you. The outburst, your choice of words, it was enough for anyone to push back. You knew it wasn't all you, but it saddened you they Steve didn't just tell you. That you made it worse without knowing.

You unfolded the obituary to find that Milton had stayed at the Veterans Home not too far from the compound. Without another thought you placed the contents back in the envelope, grabbed your leather jacket and rushed out the door. Ice cream forgotten and left to melt.

A nice perk of being an Avenger was the fact you never had to drive anywhere if you didn't want to. In a matter of minutes you had asked Friday to call up a driver and by the time you made it to the garage he was waiting for you with the door open ready for you. After giving him the address the driver nodded and took you to the veterans home.

As you pulled up to the home you saw Steve's bike. "Yup this is it, thanks."

"Would you like me to wait?" The driver asks you.

You opened the door and hopped out, "Nope, it's alright. Thank you."

He nods as you close the door and he drives away. You walk in through the double door entry to be met by a receptionist.

"Hi, I'm looking for Captain Rogers?" You asked the lady sitting behind the desk.

"Oh he's down with the residents now, would you like a visitor's pass?" She asked with a smile.

You smiled in return, "If I could, thank you."

After filling out a paper you took your visitors pass and followed the directions to the residents hall where you were told Steve was.

As you turned down the hallway you reached a doorway that opened up into a larger room. You leaned against the doorway watching as Steve enthusiastically reenacted a Captain America tale about the Howling Commandos. You stood for a moment just taking it in.

“Sometimes he plays the piano, or we listen to old records and have ourselves a dance party. Today he is telling the tales of Captain America.” A nurse came up to stand beside you before gesturing to the crowd of residents. “I don't think they have any idea what's going on but wherever they are, they’re happy, and that's really all that matters.” She placed an open palmed hand on your shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze before going to help one of the residents adjust their back pillow.

You decided to wait outside, before he could notice you were there. You made your way back up to the front desk. “Hey, if you could keep the fact I was here on the downlow I would appreciate it.” You say to the receptionist. “It's not a crazy big deal but for now it needs to be.”

“Of course!” She replied back. “I hope you’re not in too much trouble.”

“I’ve been told it's my middle name.” You joke back with a laugh, making her laugh. “Have a good rest of your day.” You say as you walk out. You hear a faint you too before the door closes.

You notice a bench sitting off to your left, out of view, and decided to take a seat.

…............................................................................................................................

“Okay Norm, where are we off to today?” Steve asked as he pushed a man in a wheelchair, his oxygen tubes clinging to his sunken face and a thick blanket covering his legs.

The man sat up slightly, “Home. They’re sending me my rifle.”

“Is that so.” Steve continued to push Norm down the hall to his room.

Norm shook his head, “They are sending a guy right now. He’s going to bring me my uniform and everything!” His voice grew.

A nurse stepped out of Norm’s room as she went to take over for Steve. “Okay Norm, get a good night's sleep. Report for duty at oh eight hundred you got it?”

“Yes Captain.” He saluted before being brought into his room.

Steve smiled slightly as he made his way up to the front desk. “Have a good night, see ya next week.”

“Finally got Norm into his room?” The receptionist asked.

Steve shook his head slightly, “It's getting a little more difficult each and every time.”

“Always is.” The receptionist smiled. “See you next week.”

Steve nodded before making his way out the doors.

You watched as he placed his hands in his pockets as he walked. “So this girl, is she a resident or an employee?” Steve whipped around quickly before letting his head fall back as he let out a sigh. “If I have to fight an old lady, I will, I won’t be happy about it but I’ll do it.” You got up and walked up to him just as he pulled his head back, looking down at you.

“And why would you be fighting old ladies?” He questioned back with a raised eyebrow.

You cross your arms in front of you, “Look competition is competition. I’m working with quite a large age range here and if I have to fight an old lady to establish what's mine then so be it.”

He looked at you, adoration beaming from his face, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips. “Oh I think Ruth could give you a run for your money.”

“Ruth!?” You cracked your knuckles as you began to walk back towards the front doors.

Steve caught your arm and spun you back facing him, “How about you spare Ruth and in return I take you out for some food.”

You acted like you were taking a moment to think it over before making your way over to his bike. “Steve Rogers are you asking me out on a date?” You picked up the helmet he had sat on the seat.

“I believe I am. Now where would the pretty lady like to eat?” He replied as he plucked the helmet out of your hands and slid it on your head, clipping the strap under your chin.

You tilted your head slightly, “Surprise me.”

“Hold on.” Steve swung his leg over the bike before turning back towards you. You hopped on wrapping your arms around his waist as his bike roared to life. Steve weaved throughout the backstreets until the Brooklyn Bridge was in sight.

End.

Part 2 Coming Soon

#stevexreader #steve x reader #Steve Rogers #Captain America #Bucky Barnes #Sam Wilson #Natasha Romanoff #Fluff #Steve Rogers x Reader #steverogersxreader #Marvel #MarvelStudios

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birlcholtz · 5 years ago

Note

any bittyholtz headcanons👀

holster knows he’s big ok? and he realizes pretty quick his sophomore year that bitty is Not Great at handling large guys coming at him quickly. so out of consideration for this tiny frosh, who is cute but holster can also tell is scared shitless by ransom and holster being their loud selves, holster tries to be conscious of bitty and respect his space (and also not yell too much around him because who knows what specifically bothers him)

and the great thing about ransom and holster being best bros for so long is that holster doesn’t have to explain what he’s doing to ransom, ransom just kind of matches him and that’s that

and holster is delighted every time bitty opens up a bit more and relaxes a bit more around the team, and when he comes out to ransom and holster holster internally is like oh. oh of COURSE. of course big loud jocks who talk about hooking up with women all the time and check people really hard on the ice bother him. duh holster

but holster would NEVER hurt someone for being gay that’s a huge asshole move and he feels it is Very Important That Bitty Knows That Holster Would Never Hurt Him. why does he feel it’s so important?? that’s a question for later holster isn’t a whole ‘analyze my feelings’ dude

so holster actively makes an effort to be around bitty in a non-threatening way. by a couple of months into spring semester they’re very comfortable around each other, comfortable enough that bitty jokes about their size difference and at one point he literally jumps into holster’s arms (who catches him on instinct) and then holster is like oh my god i’m holding bitty. oh my god he’s so small but so muscular. oh my god his hair smells so nice oh god oh fUCK

there is literally so much more under the cut. (send me ur headcanons for rarepairs/qpps!)

bitty, for his part, was initially very wary of ransom and holster for exactly the reasons holster figured out. it also doesn’t help that ransom dresses like a preppy frat bro and holster dresses like a messy frat bro. they’re both frat bros and bitty takes a long time to warm up to them.

but what does help is the way holster always lets bitty know he’s there before he gets too close (sometimes bitty is in the zone in the kitchen and doesn’t notice things like his teammates entering), and the way he doesn’t friendly-punch bitty like he does ransom. or jack. or shitty. or even lardo honestly nobody’s safe. except bitty is.

holster is also definitely responsible for putting some of bitty’s favorite songs on the kegster playlist and bitty definitely finds out and his heart warms a little more

and once bitty’s come out to ransom and holster and they don’t treat him any differently or weirdly and still profess their love for him when he bakes things without a single no homo, bitty finds himself hanging around with them a little more?

ransom likes to study in the attic without distractions so that means that bitty and holster wind up spending a lot more time together and listen. bitty can’t spend that much time with holster without noticing that the guy is a) extremely tall b) ripped and c) has an excellent jawline. and bitty is only human y’all

when he plays music in the kitchen holster will always dance (and sing along if he knows the words, or enough of the words to get them wrong in a funny way because bitty’s laugh sounds like angels singing and okay yeah holster is smitten)

holster Cannot make pies because he cannot touch pastry, bitty forbids him from trying before he even asks because his hands are too warm and he’ll fuck it all up. (holster, internally, is pleased bitty’s noticed. bitty, internally, is like fuck was that too weird) BUT if holster is in there he usually gets dragged into stirring things or chopping things or handing bitty sticks of butter from the fridge and basically whatever he can do without fucking up the pastry

and a while after that holster is like hang on wait it’s been a while since i realized i had a crush on bitty and it has Not gone away should i like. i don’t know. fucking tell him i’m into guys or something like that?? that would be smart

this is more how they get together than a list of headcanons LMAO i always get distracted and this is so fucking long omg

so he’s like rans. how do i do this. and ransom is like you should blast gettin’ bi from crazy ex girlfriend and holster is like weird. i love it.

other things holster does to subtly let bitty know he’s bi: loudly discuss his plans for going to pride that summer, make a lot of bi puns and hope one of them lands, show bitty funny posts from the lgbtq+ samwell student group on facebook

eventually bitty is like . hm. holster is either a VERY supportive ally. or he is trying to tell me something. and after the 80th bi meme post from the facebook group he’s like holster. hon. are you trying to tell me something

and holster is like YES. I AM BISEXUAL and bitty’s like oh that’s great!! (internally: can i climb him like a tree yet)

and then bitty’s like well thanks for telling me! and holster is like uh yeah! (because listen he’s good at wheeling but he is SO bad at wheeling bitty because this isn’t just someone cute he found at a kegster u know??? it’s BITTY and holster kind of wants to sweep him off his feet but in like. a gentlemanly way that won’t scare him)

when holster relates this interaction to ransom ransom is like oh my fucking god holster you could have told him and holster is like yeah and i did not for some fucking reason???????? ransom. i’m dumb and ransom is like no you just caught feelings

(bitty, to shitty: hey so uh. if a guy aggressively hints he’s into guys for like. a month. and then when i ask him straight out he tells me he’s bi. what does that mean. and shitty’s like i mean i wouldn’t know unless i know the guy?? but i wouldn’t ask u to tell me bc like. hes gotta choose who he’s out to u know and bitty’s like yeah i mean u know him but maybe i’ll ask him who else he’s out to bc i need some advice and shitty is like hell yeah)

the next day, bitty’s like holster are u out to anyone else?? just bc the team seems kinda. hetero. except for me. and holster is like oh yeah rans knows and shitty knows. also johnson. and jack if he’s not stupid because i’ve definitely had guys stay over. but mostly just the guys in the haus yeah

then they go to murder stop ‘n shop and buy baking ingredients. holster carries a metric fuck ton of flour and butter and pretends he doesn’t notice bitty staring at his arms (but he might flex just a little more than necessary)

so bitty’s like EXCELLENT. and then he talks to shitty again and is like IT’S HOLSTER AND I’M SUPER INTO HIM WHAT DO I DO and shitty’s like hooooo boy. and then HE’S like well uh. holster doesn’t like. feel the need to formally come out to people usually like the way he told me was by just telling me about a guy he hooked up with last year with zero context or warning? like i don’t know holster as well as, like, rans, but he definitely wants you specifically to know that he’s bi.

and bitty’s like intriguing. i’m gonna go combust now. and shitty’s like cool catch ya later.

so then bitty decides there’s only one way to find out if holster’s into him. and it’s not asking him, what the fuck?? no obviously not. it’s wearing very short shorts and touching him a lot and watching him to see if he blushes or gets flustered. bitty may not be a blunt or forthright person when it comes to hitting on people but he can at least make it impossible for holster to try and hide any feelings he may or may not have.

so rip holster is what i’m saying. but he also observes how much bitty is still watching him-- usually when bitty is doing something like wearing very short shorts or dancing at a kegster or flinging himself into holster’s lap-- and he’s like HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. because also holster is like way more experienced with like. relationships in general? like he’s familiar with what someone flirting with him looks like. so he’s like alright well if bitty wants to make me suffer i’m going to make him suffer too. (’rans can i borrow your skinny jeans’ ‘is this so you can get back at bitty’ ‘yes it’s important’ ‘yeah sure whatever’)

holster knows he’s jacked, he just has to make sure bitty knows it. he also knows that bitty is comfortable with holster standing pretty close to him now so he’s going to use that to his advantage since holster is also tall as Fuck. (obviously he doesn’t do anything creepy like stand right behind him or smth but like. if they’re talking. holster is gonna get just a little in bitty’s space just so bitty has to look up at him a little. is this partially because bitty has really nice eyelashes? yeah)

basically what i’m saying is once holster decides to get back at bitty all hell breaks loose. literally nobody else in the haus can deal with the sexual tension when they’re in the same room. bitty is now pretty sure that holster is into him. shitty texts bitty saying ‘can you please bone for the love of god’. for good measure shitty also texts holster saying the same thing. he’s so tired but also this is hilarious

like it gets EXTRA. bitty and holster can both bend and snap and they DO. holster intentionally spills water on his t-shirt to make it cling more. when he sits at the kitchen table doing work bitty comes by and leans over his shoulder to see what he’s doing and if he brushes holster’s neck a little as he does it, well, that’s between them. at one point holster and bitty are both standing at the counter washing dishes and holster starts chirping bitty about not being able to reach the top shelf and asks if he wants to stand on a chair and bitty’s like hmm or you could just carry me. and holster almost has a conniption and it gets even worse when they finish washing up and bitty’s like oh great the counter’s all cleared off! and hops up and sits on it and that gets his face a little closer, vertically, to holster, who is suddenly aware that bitty is wearing very short shorts AGAIN, which like, seem to have become his uniform, and that when bitty sits like that holster can barely see those shorts, that’s how tiny they are, and it looks like bitty’s just sitting there in a shirt and nothing else and holster’s brain supplies a LOT of images once he thinks of that and hoo boy.

and holster’s like how can i get back at him. and bitty’s sitting right next to the hanging cabinets so holster grabs some of the plates from the drying rack that look dry enough and goes and stands *right* in front of bitty. like he’s not actually brushing bitty’s legs where they dangle off the counter but if he stepped forward like. half an inch. he would be. and they make eye contact for a second and then, without moving, holster starts putting plates away.

and bitty is like oh my fucking god WHAT else do i have to do (he doesn’t say this out loud) and then when holster’s done putting away the plates and it looks like he’s going to go grab more bitty just. wraps his legs around holster’s waist and pulls him in (and holster is like holy FUCK because he knew bitty’s legs were strong but not THAT STRONG HOLY SHIT) and at this point there’s really nothing else for them to do but make out at the kitchen counter and that’s what they do. (bitty does, in fact, climb that man like a tree)

okay so some actual headcanons lol. you thought you knew bitty was a clothes stealing fiend?? you were wrong. he absolutely is but you just didn’t know how much. does holster still have literally any of his sweatshirts? probably not honestly

the only way bitty will sit on the green couch will be if holster is sitting on the green couch and bitty is sitting in his lap because that way he can avoid any actual contact with the couch

when bitty makes anything with blueberries in it holster steals some but he also feeds bitty some because he’s mushy like that

they continue to go to extreme lengths to try and get each other flustered in public. shitty is so tired.

they share playlists constantly and even more of bitty’s favorites find their way onto the kegster playlist

when bitty moves into the haus holster is in his room c o n s t a n t l y. he just likes the space ok??? there’s lil reminders of bitty everywhere and of course if bitty is there too then that’s just the BEST

the puck bunny halloween costume physically murders adam birkholtz

#bittyholtz #fun with rarepairs #omgcp

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cowboylikedean · 5 years ago

Text

Now that I’ve had time to sit with all of this, my feelings are.... complicated.

The thing is... I was finished. I was done. I watched seasons 11-14 out of respect for my past, my history, my time, my life. I was watching season 15 out of respect for the show. To see it out to the end, to give it the opportunity and respect to be finished. But I was already done.

And then they did one of the three (3) things that could bring me back.

And I feel so... manipulated?

I kinda feel like Buffy in season 6 talking about coming back from heaven. “I was finished, complete. And I was happy. But I was torn out of there, ripped out... by my friends.”

Because I was happy. I was happy in that I had made peace. I knew that I loved the original seasons 1-5 arc, that my favorite season was 7, that season 8 was when I started to really not enjoy myself, that season 9 is when I lost all ability to enjoy the show, that I only watched season 10 for the 200th and the nostalgia presented in that episode was fun, but it carried me for two or three weeks and then.... I let go. I had made peace with never getting that back. I was never going to watch this show and have fun again, unless I was rewatching 1-7, and that was okay. I didn’t need to enjoy it. I didn’t need anything. The writers were terrible and I knew that but it was okay. I didn’t have to trust them or have faith in them or generally give a shit because they were bad writers phoning it in for a pay check and that’s fine... If you can, you can I guess. I mean it’s bullshit but like I was okay.

But now.... Now I care again. Now I need and want something from them. Now I’m worried about the fact that I don’t trust them and I think they’re all shitty writers phoning it in for a paycheck because now I care about what happens.

And I’m pissed.

Because out of those three things, they chose the ONE that I resent the most.

Those three things are (1) They kill Sam. This is clearly my favorite, and if they were gonna do one I wish they’d done this especially if it was at Dean’s hands. He’d never have a happy ending after killing Sam, but I would. (2) They kill Dean. This would have been a cut and dry “let’s go kill someone” charge. I would have had my appropriate moment of outrage and disgust. I’d be seeing Sam-stans and Cas-stans write their long metas about how “it’s actually a perfect ending for Dean” and see destiel wannabes write their mourning fics like it was cute and be justified in every spec of anger I’ve ever felt.

But they chose (3) Destiel goes canon. I get no satisfaction from this... But I do get my sense of nostalgia played upon. I get used for views with nothing in return. Well... Maybe that’s not accurate, I get something, but it’s not...

I stopped shipping destiel 2 seasons before I finished watching. Season 8 was the last time I shipped it in any serious fashion. I sat through the wild and incredible queerbaiting that was Jeremy Carver’s run of the show.... and honestly for what?! I was here in the hiatus between seasons 7 and 8, leading up to what we, the fandom, called “season gr8″ which it was only named because of queerbaiting. And I fell for it. I drank the koolaid every single week in season 8. I wrote metas and posts, my fb memories are filled with posts insisting that “this would be the week.”

“It’s not queerbaiting if they make it canon,” I’d say. “It’s a slow burn, a long build. A will-they-won’t-they.” I felt like my fellow fans who were getting increasingly more aggressive with the cast and crew had just “lost faith.” that if they saw the big picture, that Dean and Cas were an epic love story that didn’t need immediate payoff, they could enjoy all the little moments we were getting without demanding more.

By the time I left the show, I no longer expected they’d make it canon... but more importantly, neither did I want them to. By that time, Dean had been put through the ringer being the emotional support for every character, the punching bag, the background to everyone else’s stories because no other actor could pull the emotion Jensen could. Dean had everything he had despite the other characters’ stories and emotions. He was seen by the fandom and most of the writing staff as a filler, an extension. He was one half of a relationship - romantic or not - not his own person. He was “the dumb one” and characterized in really stupid ways. You can see it as recently as 15x16 when a writer who has written one other episode of the show and clearly never actually watched the show especially the flashback episodes. Dean was a caricature, not a character. And Cas... Cas was written with increasing amounts of fanservice too. He went from a powerful being trying to learn to balance his sense of angelic responsibility with love of the Earth to being a whiny crybaby who was generally helpless to circumstance. He was written in such a way where he both leaned on Dean to give him purpose and validation while also completely ignoring everything about Dean that made Dean Dean.

As the seasons have gone on, this has gotten more apparent. I think what happened with Mary and Dean kicking Cas out the bunker earlier this season (which was also written by Robert Berens btw and if it’s true he wrote the confession scene first in the season - he wrote this scene after that one) is a perfect example. Dean’s criticism there is that Cas doesn’t trust him. When shit is hitting the fan, Cas expects Dean to react in the worst possible way he could, so he refrains for telling Dean vital information and asking for help while he looks for a solution by himself so Dean never has to know there’s even a problem. Then something goes wrong and Cas is always left there saying he’s sorry, that he shouldn’t have done that... But he never seems to learn, or trust Dean enough to do something different next time. And that time, the lack of trust killed Dean’s mom. The narrative and the fandom both treated Dean as irrational and overly emotional - the bad guy - in that situation. Dean shouldn’t have done that.

But like what the fuck should he have done??? I’d have killed him. Or cut him out for good... like for good for good. How toxic is it to have someone in your life who repeatedly ruins your life by not trusting you with a problem that could be dealt with collectively, but not alone?

And we’re going to what... retcon all of that? By bringing destiel into this, all the reasons I haven’t shipped it and I’ve considered Cas to be one of the most insidious abusers in this show are what? What am I supposed to do with them?

It’s no fucking wonder the script says Dean can’t reciprocate! Because how could he? How can they really justify Dean expressing his frustration at being manipulated and lied to for 11 years at the beginning of the season and expressing undying romantic love at the end of the season?

But this isn’t about narrative sense. It’s about an ending. The whole season is about endings... and writings... and god and death to the author... The metas flying around about “god” and “the writers” are all spot on... And so, it doesn’t matter. The message is the story is what we make it, not what they do. And therefore, they call upon destiel as the greatest example of the fandom finding a story within the story that wasn’t being told.

Except that’s not true. Because it has been being told, just not with any intention of payoff. It’s been queerbaited and intentionally so. “It’s not queerbaiting if they make it canon” is a lie. It is still queerbaiting if they never intended to make it canon! And it’s not okay.

But here I am, two episodes to go and then that’s it. There are no other opportunities for them to make canon honor that unspoken promise to the viewers. This is it. And endings do matter. Despite the message of the season being generally that endings aren’t important. That the story, the push and pull, the free will of the characters to run away with the story and bring the writers and audience to new places, the interaction between audience and story and the life they run away with, that those are the important parts of stories and storytelling... But that just isn’t true. It’s a romantic notion that endings are just silly things we tack on our stories that confine us, that the real stories are within us... but we consume these stories for the payoff of the ending. An unsatisfactory ending can completely ruin a work; just ask HIMYM.

So then this is my last chance... My last chance to feel the release of payoff of a relationship I was intentionally inspired to care about without an intention of payoff. This is my last chance of vindication for all that emotional time and energy spent.

So I’m hopeful and I’m transported back to 2012 and 2013 when I cared. When I believed. When every week felt like a possibility. When it felt like it could really happen. And most importantly, when I wanted it to. Because I do want it to now. I have actively not wanted it to for 6 years, but now is my last chance and it very well might happen so now... I want it..

And the way they did it... With giving Cas his moment, but leaving it open for interpretation... IT’S SO CALLBACK QUEERBAIT. AND callback toxic Cas. Cas lays this on Dean and then yeets off? And tells Dean that it’s because Cas loves him that he’s going? Every single part of Dean’s emotional history and trauma makes that evil, but Cas does it to him? And I’m hoping he’s not mad for the sake of the payoff of the relationship?!?!?!??!?!

Are you fucking kidding me?

And then also I wanna circle back to the queerbait of it all. Misha acknowledged today that there’s some room for interpretation here. And I don’t know how that gets resolved in the final two episodes, if it does... BUT THAT’S THE FUCKING POINT!!! I will be watching live, as it airs, for the first time in 7 years, one week before I intended mind you, because I’m being baited with the promise and hope of explicit payoff that doesn’t leave room for interpretation???? And that’s not queerbaiting???

The whole thing is ridiculous and manipulative and just generally awful, but I’m eating it up because I don’t really have the luxury of another choice. Because hoping for payoff is the best option I’ve got.

I hope I get to justify my past self and see all of that payoff and feel that vindication for the part of me that loved destiel, but I consider destiel to be the number 1 thing that ruined the show for me. So it will be a hollow victory, for sure. And that’s if there’s even a victory, which isn’t a guarantee.

I just feel so used right now.

#long post #destiel #spn #personal #i'm really sorry for the length of this #i just had to get it out

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vedj-f-bekuesu · 5 years ago

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The Reason Lucy Rejected Tough Emmet (and why Catchy Song has another meaning)

So, as I’m want to do, I did another run through of TLM2 for enjoyment. The fun thing about this film is that you can go back to it a hundred times and still catch something you’ve been overlooking. This time, it’s about Lucy’s takeaway from Emmet’s toughening, and how that plays into a larger narrative arc.

Uncomfortable Lucy

So the first scene being referred to is the one where the bricks are being shipped off to the temple. Lucy and Emmet reunite and it’s all happy and nice. Then Lucy, being curious, expresses her surprise that he was able to make it. This is when Rex pops up to interject about himself and how tough Emmet has become. It’s not just a pep talk though. During one part of the conversation he enforces this talk by punching Emmet in the arm, which Emmet is pretty clearly not happy about.

Nonetheless, with the thought of impressing Lucy and Rex’s guidance at his side, he starts posing like a proper tough guy while Rex gushes on him. The posing is very awkward and clearly forced. Lucy is...pretty taken aback by this.

Now it’s easy to assume that she was taken aback because she realised that she wanted sweet Emmet and not tough Emmet. Personally, I think in this particular scene there’s a little bit more at play, in that Lucy is catching on to the fact that this behaviour is visibly uncomfortable for Emmet to do, and seems especially so when it’s due to following the example of a guy he’s known for less than an hour. She lets it slide though because she still thinks of Systar as the baddies that need to be stopped. As I’ll get to later though, this was a mistake.

The next scene in this chain is the one in the temple itself. After they survive the cake ordeal, there’s the kerfuffle over Lucy’s hair. Rex is actively trying to wedge Lucy and Emmet apart by planting the seeds of distrust over Lucy’s loyalty given the whole brainwashing thing she and Emmet think is going on. She just barely manages to win over Emmet to continue the mission. Rex decides to press on as well, but in a very...questionable way.

This time, instead of just staying by his side, he gets in really, really close. Like, unwarranted levels of close. Again, Lucy is clearly taken aback because that is a huge violation of personal space. At this point, although she continued on, I think Lucy caught onto the fact Rex specifically had something amiss about him.

This culminates in the big cake scene. Lucy has learned the big deal with the Systarians, and wants to tell Emmet when she realises he’s still in the mindset to destroy the wedding. Emmet isn’t buying though, and part of the frustration she’s having with getting through to him is a little voice in Emmet’s ear...

Even here, Lucy realises who must be on the end of that headset, but she’s got no power to do anything about him here. Thus, when she bears her heart out to him, the influence is too strong and Emmet rejects her to fulfil the mission.

All the time, Lucy could see the damage that was being done by his new “friend”, but because it wasn’t caught and stopped fast enough it ended up costing nearly everything. Speaking of which...

When a Person is a Catchy Song

Not too long ago, I did an analysis comparing the Loud Song from Lego City Adventures to the Catchy Song. The main takeaway was that the Loud Song was bubbly and fun, while Catchy Song is more aggressive and threatening. Which works well for it’s comparison to the more cynical side of pop music and conventional brainwashing tactics, but may not be all there is to it.

Consider the full version of “Not Evil”. There is a chorus cut for the film that has these exact lyrics;

“I'm Queen Watevra Wa'Nabi I never trick people into trusting me By hiding my true personalities So I can use them to accomplish my evil deeds 'Cause that'd be evil and that's so not me”

As has been pointed out many times, these lyrics describing what Watevra is not are a perfect mirror to what Rex is. But I’d like to propose that Catchy Song in its entirety is a mirror to Rex, with the section before being a perfect snapshot of why.

What Rex ultimately represents is the pressure on children (boys specifically really) to grow up, abandon childish things and conform to the expected persona of being aloof and unemphatic. This can be as manufactured and packaged as any pop music, and through the scenes where Rex forces himself closer and closer, and more and more taking over Emmet’s thoughts it shows its own brand of brainwashing, and him getting stuck inside his head.

Really, this all begins with his very first scene with Emmet. When I was dragged to the film reluctantly, the first bit did amuse me (which caught me by surprise), but as soon as I saw this guy I instantly thought “Okay, so this guy will be like a jerkass mentor who’s reluctant to take the protagonist under his wing and will probably make some moves on the female protagonist later to Emmet’s jealousy, this is the same sort of tropey crud that put me off Lego Movie”. But things soon became weird, because his attitude to Emmet bore nothing of the trope and his connection to him snapped from “Begrudgingly accepting” to “Protecting him come hell or high water”.

From the perspective of getting inside his head though? It makes perfect sense why he’d behave this way. Before he goes through the motions of “thinking on” Emmet coming along, he spends a good deal of time buttering him up by bigging up his accomplishments (which as I’ve mentioned way back are exaggerated to what actually happened and excluded the efforts of his friends, a form of gaslighting if you will). And once he gets Emmet to trust him, he drops the facade of being reluctant entirely and just wants to get him to the point of being tough.

This also explains later behaviour; despite his tough facade, Rex is sill prone to moments of sheer panic (a big visual clue about his true identity way before the reveal). What’s most interesting is when this actually occurs, since it’s mostly refined to four moments;

The lattermost moment is probably the least significant because they were in actual peril then. That being said, it is interesting that he focuses his sights on Emmet, as if his main concern is making sure he makes it out of there.

The third screenshot is almost the same, but they weren’t really in peril then. If anything, Emmet hanging around to see them be organised and actually pretty chill could have put his ultimate goal in jeopardy.

The first screenshot is like the third, but with an extra layer due to the context. Emmet easily perceived this as being peril (because, you know, tentacle creatures), but Rex surely didn’t considering his pep talk to Emmet isn’t about them being dangerous, but not wanting him to fall for their cuteness.

The second screenshot, during the actual Catchy Song sequence, is the most damning to Rex’s real intent. When Emmet sees this normal couple just standing there with drinks, Emmet doesn’t even perceive a threat. Why would you, you just burst into their house and they were surprisingly chill about it. Rex freaks out straight away though; Emmet speaking to these normal non-chasing people for two seconds would bring the brainwashing charade and make it impossible for his brand of brainwashing to get stuck there. Hence, he panics and this prompts Emmet to perceive this as peril, Rex regaining his composure shortly like every other occasion.

At the end of the day, Rex wants to take over Emmet’s thoughts, the ultimate step in him becoming Rex entirely. He’s a crooked mirror of what the Catchy Song sings about despite it’s harmless intentions.

He’s honestly a really creepy villain when you dig underneath the superficial layers of just being a brute, and it’s probably why I’ve come to like him so much as a villain.

#tlm2 #rex dangervest #catchy song #lucy wyldstyle #VEDJ-F talks #about this film again jesus there's just so much #that's the second time I've used that tag wtf #happy first anniversary to tlm2 I guess #emmet brickowski

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blk-chauvinist · 5 years ago

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Why Women Aren’t Funny

BY CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS

JANUARY 1, 2007

Be your gender what it may, you will certainly have heard the following from a female friend who is enumerating the charms of a new (male) squeeze: “He’s really quite cute, and he’s kind to my friends, and he knows all kinds of stuff, and he’s so funny . . . “ (If you yourself are a guy, and you know the man in question, you will often have said to yourself, “Funny? He wouldn’t know a joke if it came served on a bed of lettuce with sauce béarnaise.”) However, there is something that you absolutely never hear from a male friend who is hymning his latest (female) love interest: “She’s a real honey, has a life of her own . . . [interlude for attributes that are none of your business] . . . and, man, does she ever make ‘em laugh.”

Now, why is this? Why is it the case?, I mean. Why are women, who have the whole male world at their mercy, not funny? Please do not pretend not to know what I am talking about.

All right—try it the other way (as the bishop said to the barmaid). Why are men, taken on average and as a whole, funnier than women? Well, for one thing, they had damn well better be. The chief task in life that a man has to perform is that of impressing the opposite sex, and Mother Nature (as we laughingly call her) is not so kind to men. In fact, she equips many fellows with very little armament for the struggle. An average man has just one, outside chance: he had better be able to make the lady laugh. Making them laugh has been one of the crucial preoccupations of my life. If you can stimulate her to laughter—I am talking about that real, out-loud, head-back, mouth-open-to-expose-the-full-horseshoe-of-lovely-teeth, involuntary, full, and deep-throated mirth; the kind that is accompanied by a shocked surprise and a slight (no, make that a loud) peal of delight—well, then, you have at least caused her to loosen up and to change her expression. I shall not elaborate further.

Women have no corresponding need to appeal to men in this way. They already appeal to men, if you catch my drift. Indeed, we now have all the joy of a scientific study, which illuminates the difference. At the Stanford University School of Medicine (a place, as it happens, where I once underwent an absolutely hilarious procedure with a sigmoidoscope), the grim-faced researchers showed 10 men and 10 women a sample of 70 black-and-white cartoons and got them to rate the gags on a “funniness scale.” To annex for a moment the fall-about language of the report as it was summarized in Biotech Week:

The researchers found that men and women share much of the same humor-response system; both use to a similar degree the part of the brain responsible for semantic knowledge and juxtaposition and the part involved in language processing. But they also found that some brain regions were activated more in women. These included the left prefrontal cortex, suggesting a greater emphasis on language and executive processing in women, and the nucleus accumbens . . . which is part of the mesolimbic reward center.

This has all the charm and address of the learned Professor Scully’s attempt to define a smile, as cited by Richard Usborne in his treatise on P. G. Wodehouse: “the drawing back and slight lifting of the corners of the mouth, which partially uncover the teeth; the curving of the naso-labial furrows . . . “ But have no fear—it gets worse:

“Women appeared to have less expectation of a reward, which in this case was the punch line of the cartoon,” said the report’s author, Dr. Allan Reiss. “So when they got to the joke’s punch line, they were more pleased about it.” The report also found that “women were quicker at identifying material they considered unfunny.”

Slower to get it, more pleased when they do, and swift to locate the unfunny—for this we need the Stanford University School of Medicine? And remember, this is women when confronted with humor. Is it any wonder that they are backward in generating it?

This is not to say that women are humorless, or cannot make great wits and comedians. And if they did not operate on the humor wavelength, there would be scant point in half killing oneself in the attempt to make them writhe and scream (uproariously). Wit, after all, is the unfailing symptom of intelligence. Men will laugh at almost anything, often precisely because it is—or they are—extremely stupid. Women aren’t like that. And the wits and comics among them are formidable beyond compare: Dorothy Parker, Nora Ephron, Fran Lebowitz, Ellen DeGeneres. (Though ask yourself, was Dorothy Parker ever really funny?) Greatly daring—or so I thought—I resolved to call up Ms. Lebowitz and Ms. Ephron to try out my theories. Fran responded: “The cultural values are male; for a woman to say a man is funny is the equivalent of a man saying that a woman is pretty. Also, humor is largely aggressive and pre-emptive, and what’s more male than that?” Ms. Ephron did not disagree. She did, however, in what I thought was a slightly feline way, accuse me of plagiarizing a rant by Jerry Lewis that said much the same thing. (I have only once seen Lewis in action, in The King of Comedy, where it was really Sandra Bernhard who was funny.)

In any case, my argument doesn’t say that there are no decent women comedians. There are more terrible female comedians than there are terrible male comedians, but there are some impressive ladies out there. Most of them, though, when you come to review the situation, are hefty or dykey or Jewish, or some combo of the three. When Roseanne stands up and tells biker jokes and invites people who don’t dig her shtick to suck her dick—know what I am saying? And the Sapphic faction may have its own reasons for wanting what I want—the sweet surrender of female laughter. While Jewish humor, boiling as it is with angst and self-deprecation, is almost masculine by definition.

Substitute the term “self-defecation” (which I actually heard being used inadvertently once) and almost all men will laugh right away, if only to pass the time. Probe a little deeper, though, and you will see what Nietzsche meant when he described a witticism as an epitaph on the death of a feeling. Male humor prefers the laugh to be at someone’s expense, and understands that life is quite possibly a joke to begin with—and often a joke in extremely poor taste. Humor is part of the armor-plate with which to resist what is already farcical enough. (Perhaps not by coincidence, battered as they are by motherfucking nature, men tend to refer to life itself as a bitch.) Whereas women, bless their tender hearts, would prefer that life be fair, and even sweet, rather than the sordid mess it actually is. Jokes about calamitous visits to the doctor or the shrink or the bathroom, or the venting of sexual frustration on furry domestic animals, are a male province. It must have been a man who originated the phrase “funny like a heart attack.” In all the millions of cartoons that feature a patient listening glum-faced to a physician (“There’s no cure. There isn’t even a race for a cure”), do you remember even one where the patient is a woman? I thought as much.

Precisely because humor is a sign of intelligence (and many women believe, or were taught by their mothers, that they become threatening to men if they appear too bright), it could be that in some way men do not want women to be funny. They want them as an audience, not as rivals. And there is a huge, brimming reservoir of male unease, which it would be too easy for women to exploit. (Men can tell jokes about what happened to John Wayne Bobbitt, but they don’t want women doing so.) Men have prostate glands, hysterically enough, and these have a tendency to give out, along with their hearts and, it has to be said, their dicks. This is funny only in male company. For some reason, women do not find their own physical decay and absurdity to be so riotously amusing, which is why we admire Lucille Ball and Helen Fielding, who do see the funny side of it. But this is so rare as to be like Dr. Johnson’s comparison of a woman preaching to a dog walking on its hind legs: the surprise is that it is done at all.

The plain fact is that the physical structure of the human being is a joke in itself: a flat, crude, unanswerable disproof of any nonsense about “intelligent design.” The reproductive and eliminating functions (the closeness of which is the origin of all obscenity) were obviously wired together in hell by some subcommittee that was giggling cruelly as it went about its work. (“Think they’d wear this? Well, they’re gonna have to.”) The resulting confusion is the source of perhaps 50 percent of all humor. Filth. That’s what the customers want, as we occasional stand-up performers all know. Filth, and plenty of it. Filth in lavish, heaping quantities. And there’s another principle that helps exclude the fair sex. “Men obviously like gross stuff,” says Fran Lebowitz. “Why? Because it’s childish.” Keep your eye on that last word. Women’s appetite for talk about that fine product known as Depend is limited. So is their relish for gags about premature ejaculation. (“Premature for whom?” as a friend of mine indignantly demands to know.) But “child” is the key word. For women, reproduction is, if not the only thing, certainly the main thing. Apart from giving them a very different attitude to filth and embarrassment, it also imbues them with the kind of seriousness and solemnity at which men can only goggle. This womanly seriousness was well caught by Rudyard Kipling in his poem “The Female of the Species.” After cleverly noticing that with the male “mirth obscene diverts his anger”—which is true of most work on that great masculine equivalent to childbirth, which is warfare—Kipling insists:

But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same, And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail, The female of the species must be deadlier than the male.

The word “issue” there, which we so pathetically misuse, is restored to its proper meaning of childbirth. As Kipling continues:

She who faces Death by torture for each life beneath her breast May not deal in doubt or pity—must not swerve for fact or jest.

Men are overawed, not to say terrified, by the ability of women to produce babies. (Asked by a lady intellectual to summarize the differences between the sexes, another bishop responded, “Madam, I cannot conceive.”) It gives women an unchallengeable authority. And one of the earliest origins of humor that we know about is its role in the mockery of authority. Irony itself has been called “the glory of slaves.” So you could argue that when men get together to be funny and do not expect women to be there, or in on the joke, they are really playing truant and implicitly conceding who is really the boss.

The ancient annual festivities of Saturnalia, where the slaves would play master, were a temporary release from bossdom. A whole tranche of subversive male humor likewise depends on the notion that women are not really the boss, but are mere objects and victims. Kipling saw through this:

So it comes that Man, the coward, when he gathers to confer With his fellow-braves in council, dare not leave a place for her.

In other words, for women the question of funniness is essentially a secondary one. They are innately aware of a higher calling that is no laughing matter. Whereas with a man you may freely say of him that he is lousy in the sack, or a bad driver, or an inefficient worker, and still wound him less deeply than you would if you accused him of being deficient in the humor department.

If I am correct about this, which I am, then the explanation for the superior funniness of men is much the same as for the inferior funniness of women. Men have to pretend, to themselves as well as to women, that they are not the servants and supplicants. Women, cunning minxes that they are, have to affect not to be the potentates. This is the unspoken compromise. H. L. Mencken described as “the greatest single discovery ever made by man” the realization “that babies have human fathers, and are not put into their mother’s bodies by the gods.” You may well wonder what people were thinking before that realization hit, but we do know of a society in Melanesia where the connection was not made until quite recently. I suppose that the reasoning went: everybody does that thing the entire time, there being little else to do, but not every woman becomes pregnant. Anyway, after a certain stage women came to the conclusion that men were actually necessary, and the old form of matriarchy came to a close. (Mencken speculates that this is why the first kings ascended the throne clutching their batons or scepters as if holding on for grim death.) People in this precarious position do not enjoy being laughed at, and it would not have taken women long to work out that female humor would be the most upsetting of all.

Childbearing and rearing are the double root of all this, as Kipling guessed. As every father knows, the placenta is made up of brain cells, which migrate southward during pregnancy and take the sense of humor along with them. And when the bundle is finally delivered, the funny side is not always immediately back in view. Is there anything so utterly lacking in humor as a mother discussing her new child? She is unboreable on the subject. Even the mothers of other fledglings have to drive their fingernails into their palms and wiggle their toes, just to prevent themselves from fainting dead away at the sheer tedium of it. And as the little ones burgeon and thrive, do you find that their mothers enjoy jests at their expense? I thought not.

Humor, if we are to be serious about it, arises from the ineluctable fact that we are all born into a losing struggle. Those who risk agony and death to bring children into this fiasco simply can’t afford to be too frivolous. (And there just aren’t that many episiotomy jokes, even in the male repertoire.) I am certain that this is also partly why, in all cultures, it is females who are the rank-and-file mainstay of religion, which in turn is the official enemy of all humor. One tiny snuffle that turns into a wheeze, one little cut that goes septic, one pathetically small coffin, and the woman’s universe is left in ashes and ruin. Try being funny about that, if you like. Oscar Wilde was the only person ever to make a decent joke about the death of an infant, and that infant was fictional, and Wilde was (although twice a father) a queer. And because fear is the mother of superstition, and because they are partly ruled in any case by the moon and the tides, women also fall more heavily for dreams, for supposedly significant dates like birthdays and anniversaries, for romantic love, crystals and stones, lockets and relics, and other things that men know are fit mainly for mockery and limericks. Good grief! Is there anything less funny than hearing a woman relate a dream she’s just had? (“And then Quentin was there somehow. And so were you, in a strange sort of way. And it was all so peaceful.” Peaceful?)

For men, it is a tragedy that the two things they prize the most—women and humor—should be so antithetical. But without tragedy there could be no comedy. My beloved said to me, when I told her I was going to have to address this melancholy topic, that I should cheer up because “women get funnier as they get older.” Observation suggests to me that this might indeed be true, but, excuse me, isn’t that rather a long time to have to wait?

From Vanity Fair

#Men Are The Prize #Anti-Feminism #Humor

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