#ITS BEEN A LOOOONG ROAD

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[turbo-virgins]

(Don’t Fear) The Reaper

Pairing: Lucy Maclean x Cooper Howard | The Ghoul

Summary:

She kept a wary eye on its vicious stinger as she approached. “Do you… need any help?”

“How bout,” he grunted between swings, “since you’re so damn good at playin’ bait-“ another swing- “you march your pretty little self on ahead-“ swing- “and see if you can rile up every other big critter between here ‘n’ New Vegas.”

She frowned.

He yanked the tail off with a loud snap, then set back on his haunches and flashed her a yellow, patronizing smile.

“What if you run out of bullets?”

“You let me worry about that, sweetheart.”

Lucy and Cooper get up to many shenanigans on their way to New Vegas (the journey is more important than the destination right?... right??).

Tags:

Canon-Typical Violence | Enemies to Friends to Lovers | Slow Burn | Lucy is a BAMF (just give it time) | Post Season 1 |Excessive terms of endearment from The Ghoul | the road to New Vegas is paved with misadventures | the author is a sucker for Death and The Maiden imagery | the inherent eroticism of medical malpractice Drug Use Eventual Smut

Word count: 6,284 (and counting!)

It’s been a loooong while since I posted anything here, but I’ve got a new fic in the works!

Chapter 1 is below the read more and you can find the other chapters I’ve posted here on ao3 :)

Chapter 1: Where Have All the Cowboys Gone

Lucy had been staring death in the face enough lately that she thought she ought to recognize it by now. But it seemed the Wasteland was always finding new ways to surprise her.

“Look out, Vaultie,” the Ghoul barked.

Her brain had yet to parse his command. She looked at him over her shoulder, lips parted to ask him what that weird hissing sound was. What she failed to notice was the small tide of earth zigzagging its way straight toward her.

The ground erupted beneath her feet. Sand burst into the air in a mighty plume and sent her sprawling. Her back connected with a stretch of crumbling pavement that ripped the breath from her lungs.

Pincers the size of her torso snapped through the space she’d occupied not less than a moment ago. The afternoon sun gleamed off their gray-blue carapace. A strange chittering emitted from the creature as it sifted through the cloud of dust.

With a yelp she scrambled backwards, frantically kicking herself along to put precious distance between her and the whatever-it-was. A stinger attached to a tail the size of a tree trunk hurtled out of nowhere and gouged the dirt between her legs.

An ear piercing whistle came from the Ghoul’s direction. “Come on you big motherfucker,” he taunted. Two shots rang through the air.

There was a squelch and a whine that almost would have pulled at her heartstrings if she weren’t actively fighting for her life. Insect-like legs skittered out from the settling cloud and for the first time she was finally able to get a look at the thing.

The rest of it was just as wicked as the pincers and stinger had her believe. Its thorax was covered in that same blue-gray carapace. Several pairs of black beady eyes glimmered above a set of greedily clicking fangs. It arched its tail, curling it through the air in its own taunting gesture as it shifted to face the Ghoul.

“Atta girl.” He leveled his pistol at it again and pulled back the hammer.

The creature - scorpion, Lucy realized - launched toward him with a surprising burst of speed. Before she could even shout for the Ghoul to run, he pulled the trigger.

Bang.

Its many legs tangled together as its thorax crumpled to the ground and skidded to a halt not two feet from him. He set his boot atop its carapace and tilted his head, appraising his work as its tail gave one final thrash and dropped to the ground with a useless thud.

Lucy allowed herself to lay on the ground. Just for a moment. Just to let her heaving lungs catch their breath and for the heady buzz of adrenaline to leave her system. “What… what?” she asked aloud to no one in particular.

“Radscorpion,” he grunted.

Pretty self explanatory, she supposed. A faint memory emerged of a book she’d borrowed from the Vault library when she was young. Mojave Flora and Fauna. Little drawings of plants and animals decorated every page. The scorpion, she remembered, had been nestled atop an outstretched palm.

She brought her own hand to her face and examined the short span of it. “Huh.” Then she forced herself to her feet and dusted her hands off on her jumpsuit. “Well, thanks for saving me. Again.”

He was already too busy to reply, as usual. He rifled through the many pockets of his duster before withdrawing a hefty knife with a jagged edge. Then he clambered atop the thorax and began hacking at the joints of its tail.

She kept a wary eye on its vicious stinger as she approached. “Do you… need any help?”

“How bout,” he grunted between swings, “since you’re so damn good at playin’ bait-“ another swing- “you march your pretty little self on ahead-“ swing- “and see if you can rile up every other big critter between here ‘n’ New Vegas.”

She frowned.

He yanked the tail off with a loud snap, then set back on his haunches and flashed her a yellow, patronizing smile.

“What if you run out of bullets?”

“You let me worry about that, sweetheart.”

She met his gaze, sharp and yellowed like his bared teeth. Somehow he hadn’t given up the game of finding new ways to cut her down despite the fact she’d saved his life.

Indignation flared hot on her cheeks, but she let it go with a low, soft sigh. “Okie dokie.”

With a gruesome squelch he ripped at the severed end of tail, then raised a hunk of pale flesh in his gloved hand. “Ever had shellfish, Vaultie?”

She braced herself for another verbal jab as she shook her head.

“Then this is the damn nearest thing you’ll ever get.”

Dogmeat, who had been curiously circling between the hulking corpse and the giant crater it left in the earth, looked up at the Ghoul and gave a sudden whine. He eyed her softly wagging tail before rolling his eyes and tossing her a handful of the meat. She snapped it out of the air with eager jaws.

He turned back to Lucy and waved her over. “Got room in that pack of yours, don’tcha?”

Reluctantly she stepped over and around the radscorpion’s spiny legs and held her pack out for him. She grimaced as he flipped it open and began dumping slimy chunks of tail meat right on top of the rest of her things. “Is there a better way to store this stuff?”

“Dinner’s on me tonight,” he said, as if that were all she needed to hear. “So don’t ever say I ain’t been a gentleman to ya.”

A snort escaped her and she couldn’t help but raise a challenging brow.

“That’ll do.” He cinched her bag shut and gave her a rough pat on the shoulder, graciously smearing his slimy gloved fingers over the fabric of her jumpsuit. Then he hopped off the carapace and went strolling down the road with Dogmeat trotting at his heels.

She hefted her (now much heavier) pack over her shoulder and glowered after him.

“Come on, darlin’,” he called, “we’re wastin’ daylight.”

With a sigh she skirted around both corpse and crater, trailing after him down the winding broken pavement.

-

Mojave nights were cold as the grave. When the sun burrowed beneath the horizon in a brilliant smear of reds and purples and oranges it took the sweltering desert heat right along with it. Never with such longing did Lucy think she’d remember the stale, disinfectant-laced air of the vault with its heating and cooling systems maintaining that steady seventy degrees fahrenheit.

She sat as close to the campfire as she could stand. Knees to her chest, arms wrapped around them, teeth chattering no matter how tightly she clamped her jaw. Their first few nights on the road - when the constant clicking had worn the Ghoul’s tattered patience too thin - he threatened to pull her molars out one by one.

“Sell ‘em for a handful of caps too, while I’m at it,” he’d added.

To her relief he never followed through. And tonight he was too preoccupied with the task of cooking up the radscorpion tail. He squatted opposite her, dented frying pan in hand, shuffling the sizzling meat around with the end of his knife.

It left her free to study him - a habit she couldn’t seem to shake ever since she first laid eyes on his strange, marred face. The firelight had a way of catching the craters in his skin, flooding the deep sockets of his eyes with wavering shadows, and drawing her attention to the cavernous opening where his nose once was. It left her mind brimming with a dozen questions that were far too brazen for the good manners that had been embedded in her over the years.

What are you? She’d given in and asked the question when he’d driven her beyond the capacity to recall said manners.

Now she had several answers. He was a ghoul. A bitter, broken, irradiated shell of a man. A remorseless killer and finger-stealer. Her one-way ticket to finding her father, to finding the truth. But all of those things were many, many strokes short of painting a full picture.

Oh I’m you, sweetie.

She knew that had been a dig at her, one of the first among many. But she was learning there was a certain truth to it that even he hadn’t anticipated. It was in his easy smile, the crooked cadence of his walk, the cheeky glimmer in his eyes when he said something he thought would rile her up - an old-world kind of charm the biting sandstorms of the wastes hadn’t managed to carve out of him yet.

He reminded her of the pre-war cowboy holos she used to watch with Norm and her dad. Well, maybe if she squinted hard enough-

Without warning he flung a steaming sliver of radscorpion at her straight from the pan. She fumbled it in her hands, hissing through her teeth as it scalded her skin. She managed to drape it over her gray finger. The half dead nerves barely registered the stinging heat. After a few rapid blows to cool it down she took her first bite.

The texture was… spongy. Almost rubbery. Squeaky between her teeth. But the flavor - salty with a hint of something smoky - was enough to make up for it. She gave a pleased hum and a nod.

When he tossed her another piece she was ready for it.

“Goes good with a bit of melted butter,” he announced before craning his head back and dropping a large bite straight down his gullet.

“Butter, huh?” She’d seen it referenced in the Vault-Tec approved cookbooks they used in her home ec classes. More often than not it was scratched through with faded ink and someone had been kind enough to supply a substitution in the margins.

“‘Spose you didn’t have any cows or brahmin in that vault of yours.”

She shook her head.

“Ain’t that a cryin’ shame.” But he didn’t sound sorry at all.

They ate the rest of their meal in silence. Dogmeat licked the grease out of the pan when it had cooled, then curled up in a tight little ball next to the Ghoul. With a huff she flicked her ears back and drifted off to sleep.

The Ghoul settled into the dirt with his pack behind his head and gave her a lazy scratch along her shoulder. Then he pulled his hat over his face.

There was an unspoken agreement that the first watch was hers. It took her far longer to drift off anyway. Every strange sound and shift in the wind set her on edge. Tonight, cowering beneath the blanket of stars, she listened to a far off howling that raised the fine hairs along the nape of her neck.

She scanned the dark, rolling sand dunes on the horizon for any sign of movement, but found none. A chilling breeze swept through their camp, stirring up a puff of smoke and ash from the dying remains of the fire. An uneasy feeling rolled through her gut. Like she was being watched.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she was rifling through her pack for her syringe rifle. The whole time she kept glancing over her shoulder, ears strained for the sound of sifting sand.

Something skittered across the ground and collided with her knee. She yelped and clutched the collar of her jumpsuit as her heart seized beneath her knuckles. When she looked down she found the Ghoul’s pistol laying in the dirt.

“I can hear you shakin’ in your boots from all the way over here.” He was propped up on his elbow, watching her beneath the brim of his hat. His eyes glimmered with something between annoyance and amusement - a flicker of that old-world cowboy charisma. “That little peashooter of yours ain’t good for much besides pissin’ things off.”

Tentatively, she pulled the gun into her lap.

“If you’re gonna take it, you best be ready to use it.” He pulled his hat back over his eyes and returned to his makeshift pillow.

“Um, thank you. I appreciate it.”

He gave a noncommittal grunt.

Another howl echoed across the endless barren stretch of sand. She dragged her eyes from him, from the line of his jaw peeking out just beneath the brim of his hat, and returned her gaze to the horizon. As she tightened her fingers around the pistol grip and rested her half-dead finger atop the trigger, she found it a little easier to swallow back her fear.

[mikunology]

Locations in Sapporo

things in my personal life has calmed down somewhat for the time being so I figured I'd write up an easy lore post that I completely forgot I could make so here we are

I wanted to list some common locations found in Sapporo as featured in Vocal Android! I haven't actually talked about the setting too much and while I'm kinda bad at designing locations, I figured I could at least talk about them a little

But, yeah, I'll do my best to explain, so some lore under the cut?

Crypton Laboratories HQ/Crypton Towers: The place where the CVs live and where Meiko and Kaito work. A huge white, gray, and cyan building shaped like a C if you look at it from above, it's home to Crypton's various research labs. The building has floors entirely dedicated to be Miku, the twins and Luka's living spaces, and they each have their own color-coded rooms and living areas. There's a recording and dance studio in the building for the CVs to do their idol work and music playing, as well as a virtual reality training room. There's also the CVs' very own superhero base of sorts, which Gumi helped design, and allows the crew to oversee the city in case danger makes itself known (it's also a convenient place to hang out and take a nap). There's also a sizeable garage below the building, where Rin keeps the road roller.

Kenmochi Academy High School: Miku, Rin and Len's school. A large, clean campus made of three V-shaped buildings with their points pointing towards each other and hexagon-shaped windows. A pretty high-bar school with a lot of recent technology, it's one of the more popular and well-known high schools in town (and thus, an excellent candidate for Meiko's goal of having the CVs interact with humans their age). It is headed by Principal Sasaki. (Current Student List: Hatsune Miku, Kagamine Rin and Len, Kobayashi Matcha, Masaoka Azuki, Yumemi Nemu, Hibiki Lui, Akira Kano/Arsloid, Otomachi Una, Sato Sasara, Suzuki Tsudumi, Kokone Aime, Kizuna Akari, Futaba Minato, Hoshino Ichika, Tenma Saki, Hinomori Shiho, Mochizuki Honami, Koharu Rikka (formerly), Suzune Ring)

Ichikawa Academy High School: Gumi's school, a high school on the eastern side of the city. It's a more "normal" high school, less flashy than Kenmochi and looking more typical, but still has a few good programs to its name, including its science program (which Gumi tries to participate in). (Current Student List: Megumi "Gumi" Nakashima, Kotonoha Akane and Aoi, Tohoku Zunko, Gahata Meiji, Kamishiro Rui, Kusanagi Nene, Tenma Tsukasa, AiSuu, Tsuina-chan)

Utahako Elementary School: The local elementary school a block or two away from Kenmochi. It's a modest little elementary school, having been newly refurbished from an older building. Many of the students that go there end up graduating to Kenmochi later. Kiyoteru teaches here. (Current Student List: Kaai Yuki, Oliver Twitchell, Rana, Macne Petit, Tohoku Kiritan, Otomachi Unagi, Ryuuto Nakashima)

The Macne Cafe: A fresh-looking little internet cafe that sits in the town plaza and is the CVs' favorite hangout spot. Established by the Macne Family, it's become slowly but surely known around town for its delicious green apple cheesecake and desserts. Nana has been trying various ways to spread their customer base further.

The V5: A swanky nightclub and bar that is also in the plaza, run by four friends: Amy, Chris, Kaori and Ken. Many of the adult characters come there to drink and chat a bit.

UTAU Studios: A record label company and radio studio stationed in the industry hub of town, notable for its large staff and loooong list of talents. The studio runs a daily radio broadcast that's fairly popular, and their top talent is Namine Ritsu (or it was, anyway).

Sapporo University: The local college. A bit of an older building since it's been there basically forever compared to a lot of the rest of futuristic city. Has a small, colorful dormitory community next to it where students stay. (Current Student List: Galaco, Po-uta, Tsurumaki Maki, Shirosaki Yuudai; Utatane Piko isn't a student but he lives there)

Kamukura Shrine: A humble shrine that's only a little ways away from the beach, and is where most of the cast goes for holiday celebrations (such as New Years). It's headed by Kigashima Sourin and his protégés, Kurono Takehiro, Wakamatsu Akashi, Aoyama Ryuusei and Shirakami Koutarou, who are training to be proper priests. They also have their shrine maiden, a fussy teenage girl named Lumi who claims to be a jellyfish kami from the sea. Her antics tend to bring a lot of visitors.

SEKAI Auditorium: A venue a few blocks away from Crypton HQ and the main place where Miku and friends perform locally. Very spacious and known to host tons of acts, including smaller ones like local bands, singers and theater shows. Also functions as a sort of convention center at times. However, it's tendency to get raided by supervillains (mostly in pursuit of Miku and co.) has given it a bit of a weird reputation.

The Nebula: A recently-established nightclub in the plaza run by American DJ CYBER DIVA (and her partner CYBER SONGMAN), who is also the headlining act of the place. Used to have a bit of a rivalry with Miku, but they're both over it. Gets a lot of younger customers than the ones at the V5.

Dr. Momone's House: A modern house in a quiet neighborhood next to the industrial part of town where Dr. Momone, Momo and Defoko live. Their neighbors consist of Yufu (who lives down the lane), Eru (who lives at the far end of the lane), Tsukishiro Hakupo and his servant bot Kunishiki (who live next door) and Sensei.

Gumi's Apartment: Gumi, Gakupo and Ryuuto's small apartment in a building not too far from Crypton HQ. Not the nicest apartment that ever was, but it's homey.

Gin no Hana: A old-fashioned restaurant that has reasonable business and is popular due to the comfy atmosphere. Managed by Ginsaki and his wife, Koharu.

The Old Soul Theater: An old theater in town that's mainly still in the city for the sake of preservation, but still has small plays and acts now and again. Has been turned into an acting school of sorts by Miriam Stocks, a theater connoisseur.

Ruko's candy shop: A hole-in-the-wall shop in an alleyway managed by Yokune Ruko, where they sell candy, snacks and cheap cups of drip coffee. Totally not shady in the slightest. Is almost constantly out of coffee-flavored hard candy because Ruko keeps eating it.

Meiko's apartment: Meiko's home, a simple apartment in a simple complex where she crashes after a long day at the lab. The CVs have never been to it.

There's probably more than this but yeah :>

[paper-mario-wiki]

to anyone asking, NO this show is NOT like this all the way through.

this show is about a dude who is born as a slime, merges souls with a Japanese girl who was killed during WW1, does some of the typical isekai "whoa look at how powerful ive become! i must use this power for good" stuff, and then he spends the rest of the series doing his best to create the least racist nation on the planet to usher in an era of peace using Japan's contemporary model of a pacifist state as its basis.

it starts from square 0 like this, where he wakes up in a cave and then spends an indeterminate amount of months in the cave, alone, fighting monsters and gaining fighting experience and stuff. then there's some typical isekai beats as he meets a goblin village (his found family) and starts rebuilding and protecting it from invaders, and then after about 4 arcs of progressively larger-scale conflicts, its runtime becomes almost exclusively long, long discussions about fantasy politics as the main character's power grows to the point where he's commanding entire armies. it goes from "we've got to protect the village from wolves!" in the first season, to things like "a holy race war was started by the capital city due to the protagonist's new kingdom becoming a trading powerhouse, and our ongoing project to pave roads between major cities is eating at the profits of the nearby kingdom, which had been the economic center of the continent, thus making the various royalists angry" in the second season.

you can REALLY tell the animation budget is thin in the middle episodes of the first two seasons where there's lots of static shots with little movement, but the visuals are ultimately inoffensive if you're satisfied enough with following the story along, which i personally was. i enjoy the writing and ideas in this story, though like i said, you have to be willing to enjoy that story in the form of loooong strategic political and military meetings.

that said, there's a spinoff season called Slime Diaries that is 100% fluff. like, it's all character interactions between the MANY characters in the ensemble cast which may not otherwise get time in the spotlight to develop their personalities (likely due to the fact that this story is adapted from a light novel, so a lot of character moments end up left out to save time for the major events), and it shows life in the monster kingdom between major story events, and all the festivals they throw as the main character teaches them about stuff like the Bon festival, autumnal harvests (after the kingdom adopts agriculture), and Christmas (though there's a pretty good bit where he has to explain what Christmas is without getting tied up in the real-world ties it has to Jesus Christ).

6/10 anime, but to me that's a passing grade. im enjoying it a lot, and just started season 3.

im rewatching the slime reincarnation anime cuz i havent watched it since i was a teenager, and like.

the part where he's experiencing what a slime's body feels like for the first time as he "wakes up" after having just died is portrayed with such beautiful attention paid to the sensory details. it simulates what it would feel like to wake up in an alien body, and learning to comprehend entirely new means of interfacing with the world that are different from a human body in almost every conceivable way. and its presentation is sooooo impressive to me.

[sosos-adventures]

March 20th: My son. And yes thats a place. Nothing blood related going on here.

As mentioned before, local buses to sightseeing spots outside of the city do not really exist. At least we dont know them. Its mostly either motorbike or private shuttle. So we decided to book a shuttle for 8€ p.P eatly in the morning to see the world culture heritage site "My Son". The entrance fee qas quite high but at least they have a shuttle within the property to get to the ruins. The other optiob would have been walking for 2km. But not through some nice forests, just on a loooong road. When we arrived at the ruins there was a perdormance of local dances and music. They honored the goddess shiva. The ruins itself were full of tourists. And of course lots of Germans around. Because we are everywhere hehe 🤭🙂

Really cool day but it kind of felt like joining an Asian trip where you have exactly 2 hours to visit the attraction and kind of have to rush through it without actually enjoying it. But we didnt have any other option.

Back in Hoi An we went to get a really traditional vietnamese dish: Banh Mi. There is this really famous Banh Mi shop that serves the food quite cheap. But its delicious. Its literally just white bread with filling. But they add some chili sauce and its extremely delicious. Especially of you have stomach problems from all the raw veggies and ice cubes we might have consumed..

After another coffee (coconut coffee.. how delicious is that.. its also a specialty here.. I feel like I need to write a post just about food.) we went back to the tailor to try on our clothes. And lets just say it was complicated. First of all a compliment: they dod it exactly like on the pictures. And that witjin less than 24 hours. Sadly a lot of tjings didnt really fit well. If you pay 35€ for pants, you want them to fit you well and also make a great ass 😊 also the jumpsuit. We both ordered one in our individual style but with the same fabric. Navy blue and silk. We tried it on and it wasnt what we expected. After 2 women gave up on talking to us about what we wanted to be changed, they told us to come back the next morning for the final fitting. They didnt even say goodbye anymore. Maybe we were too direct. Vietnamese people dont usually say "no". They rather have 5 ways of saying yes. Some of them intending a "no". So our direct way of criticism might ha e been too inpolite. So we wemt to get some local dinner at a cute little restaurant nearby and decided to just relax and do some research about our next steps and how to get to our next location. And yes that was a nightmare. Doing research for almost 3 hours we gave up. Everytjingwent wrong. We tried to book our trainticket to Hanoi multiple times but the website didnt accept our credit card. We couldnt find any good way of getting to Hue with a tour included crossing the Hai van Pass which is the highlight dor many tourists here in Vietnam.. at some point we were only able to laugh about how everything is going wrong and decided to go to bed. But yea planning a trip can be exhausting.

[mintbees]

sorry it send it on here, I don't like,,,, messaging on instagram. But!!! You've improved so much!! The proportions look amazing, the faces are different and have so much emotion in them, your shading has gotten so much better to!! the shading itself sets the mood of the art piece so well too- anyways you're an amazing artist keep up the amazing work!!

thats fine dw instagram messaging is soooo scary its so direct ykno? but jo thank you!! ive been aiming for constant improvement over the past 2 years and ive been drawing A Lot and im so glad it rlly shows! 

[risaceofhearts]

Man at first when I started watching Enterprise I HATED the intro. Then in season two it started to grow on me and sometimes I didn't skip it. Then in season 3 they changed it. I think I listened to it a whole 3 times or so before the last episode.

Star Trek Enterprise wins Grammy for best show intro

[seldnei]

Got tagged by my fellow Dream Lord, @julcheninred ...

Relationship status: Married. Not currently plotting murder.

Favorite color: Green!

Favorite food: Any combination of bread, tomato, and cheese.

Song stuck in your head: I have music playing, so that’s drowning out whatever’s in there (current song is “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol)

Last thing you’ve googled: “Elden Ring dungeons list.”  I’m stuck on the fucking Elden Beast fight, so I’m taking a break and running through all the dungeons I’ve missed or skipped.

Time: 12:48 PM

Last book you read: When Sorrows Come by Seanan McGuire.  I’m prepping for the new Toby book that’s coming out at the end of the month.

Last book you enjoyed: Not a re-read? The Grief of Stones by Katherine Addison.

Last book you hated reading:  I no longer read books that I hate.  Like, I’ll finish a “meh” book, but if I find myself actively hating the book, I just quit. I believe the last time this happened, it was 21 Lessons for the 21st Century.  I was hoping for something better than the 1am honors dorm room pontificating I got (do not get me started on the section on science fiction).

Favorite thing to cook/bake: I like the process of baking chocolate chip cookies, especially with fresh brown sugar.  I like to have baked bread, because I make good bread, but the process is loooong.

Favorite craft to do in your free time: I don’t really craft much--most of my free time is spent reading or, at the moment, playing Elden Ring.  I do want to learn to make my own notebooks, though.

Most niche dislikes: Jazz?  I hate jazz.  My coworkers find this weird. Oh, I am also not fond of Chicago citation style.  I think its bibliographies look weird and crowded.

Opinion on circuses: Love fictional circuses. Fantasy circuses (MirrorMask’s, as an example), horror circuses (I am quite fond of the Circus of the Other in Magnus Archives), a dusty, 30s-era circus as a setting for a novel.  Have no desire to go to a circus in real life.  (side note: I got lost at the circus when I was small, which was not traumatic for me but was pretty traumatic for my mother.)

Do you have a sense of direction and if not what’s the worst way you’ve gotten lost?: Yeeesss?  Okay, I can’t label my left and right.  If you say “go left,” there are 50 50 odds that I will turn right, honestly thinking I am turning left. However, if I, say, know I am facing north, and you tell me to go east, I will do it. I am pretty good at knowing where the main roads are from where I am in areas I’m familiar with. I’ve successfully navigated people who thought we were lost back to civilization in my hometown and current city.

That said, the worst time I got lost was coming back from a friend’s place in another town where I’d only been once, with the hungry three year old in the back seat.  Ugh.

Last song I listened to: The Mary J. Blige cover of “Stay With Me.”

Last show I watched: She Hulk, Attorney at Law.

Currently watching: I guess that?  It’s coming out once a week.

Currently reading: Nothing, as I just finished a book yesterday, but I’m going to re-read Paladin’s Hope by T. Kingfisher next.

Current obsessions: Sandman has made a triumphant return to my obsessions list.  Still obsessed with the album The Horror and the Wild by The Amazing Devil, but it got interrupted by a desire to deep dive into Panic! at the Disco’s discography.  Elden Ring, god help me. And the cozy fantasy romance refuses to leave me alone, despite the two sets of revisions I need to be working on.

I am tagging @lookninjas, @silver-stargazing, @kaoticspoonie (if you want to, no pressure) and anyone else who wants to do this.

[vaniri]

Helping hand [Johnny Silverhand x V]

On their way home from Clouds, Johnny decides to end V’s life. Or help her, she is not sure anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Contains all the good stuff: fingering, a bit of dirty talk (at least until V tells Johnny to shut up), Johnny being Johnny™, and public embarrassment. Does not contain: plot. Who needs that?

18+ only, obviously

As always, HUGE THANKS and I LOVE YOU to @ugh-my-back​ for helping me out with this little creation and doing the beta 🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

______________________________________________________

Johnny felt almost sorry for that pathetic piece of unfortunate shit he’d been involuntarily attached to. She had a simple task – go to a brothel, get the information she needed, get laid because that’s why you go to establishments of that kind, and leave. And literally nothing went according to plan: she didn’t learn much, got fucking psychoanalyzed instead of laid, and was shot at on her way out because she had to sniff around, having the sneaking skills of a drunk teenager. Only V could have that luck.

“I said that getting off was waiting for you in Clouds? I take it back.” He mocked her, materializing in the passenger seat of her car. “Was almost right about getting offed, though.”

“Please shut up and go back to pretending you don’t exist.” Tired and exasperated after what she’d been through, she didn’t even shoot him a glance, trying to focus on the road.

“I left you there for five minutes, so you could get shagged in peace, and not only did you fuck that up but also wound up in a shooting turned massacre. You should have just fucked that doll and bailed, like any normal person would."

"We weren't there to fuck anyone, remember?"

"Yeah, and we should be. You should be. Tell me, V, is your cunt sealed with cobwebs already? Because I scoured your memories, out of boredom, and it’s been a long, loooong while since you had some action there."

“Asshole.”

“Yeah, there too.”

“You really know how to brighten the day, don’t you?”

“And you really don’t feel how sexually frustrated you are? Because I do.” He turned in his seat to face her. Being a woman was fucked up in general, he found out - all these hormones and stuff Johnny didn't even try to understand - but the level of stress she was living under was absolutely crushing. The majority of it was obviously caused by the chip and everything that was going on in V's life lately, but a part of it, not a small one, came from her sexual starvation. And lack of sleep. Or maybe her abstinence led to insomnia, Johnny wasn’t sure anymore. All he knew was that she – they – were constantly tired as of late. And horny. Very horny. “And I don’t like it a bit. If I were you, I’d start jerking off right here and now.”

“Please don’t.” A look of dread flitted across her face.

“I won’t. But you should.”

“I’m driving, if you haven’t noticed. I really want to get us home in one piece, and as soon as possible.” She needed a shower and some takeout to make herself feel better, and maybe a cold one too. ”So eyes on the road, hands on the wheel.”

“Fine. I’ll lend you a hand, then.”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to drive a car. You’re not corporeal, you know.”

“I was rather thinking about fingering you.”

“WHAT?”

“Eyes on the road.” He chided her, visibly amused by the utter horror showing on her face. “I’m just saying that I want to help you. No strings attached, don’t worry. Treat it as a friendly favor.”

“We aren’t friends.”

“Aww, V, that hurt.”

“Good. Now fuck off.” She seemed adamant, but he noticed that her hands, now gripping the wheel for dear life, were shaking a little. She was both abashed by the thought of being this intimate with Johnny and genuinely thinking about it. Considering. Imagining.

He knew her thoughts. He lived in her brain and he could read her like an open book. He knew exactly the effect he had on her and what she was thinking about him, he knew about her fascination and curiosity. And her constant denial about it.

It wouldn’t be hard to get what he wanted, never had been for him. And all he currently wanted was to get in her pants.

“Come on V, I’ve seen the thoughts that keep you awake at night. All of them. These about me too.” He purred, caressing her taut arm with his silver fingers. “I’m not going to tease you about them. Just want you to know that I know about your little fantasies. And appreciate your taste.”

“Sure.” She murmured, flustered.

“I will gladly show you that reality can be even better. If you let me.” He put his organic hand on her thigh. She didn’t immediately push it off, which was a promising sign. “So, what do you say? Will I get a yes? I may be an asshole and love sex way too much, but I would never go on someone without clear consent.”

“How considerate of you.”

“I’m serious, V. And I really just want to help. If you don’t blow off some steam anytime soon we’re both going to explode. Not the best way to go, trust me on that.”

Johnny saw how intensely she was thinking about it, processing what she had heard, weighing pros and cons. And he was waiting patiently for her answer, gently but not intrusively massaging her leg.

“If you ever mock me about it, or use it against me, I will rip both your silver arm and your cock off. Somehow.” She warned with a serious glare, finally giving up. She spread her legs a little, inviting his hand further, her face turning bright red.

“I would never. But eyes on the road, please.” He reminded her, an amused smile plastered on his face. His hand snuck past the hem of her trousers, rubbing the soft skin of her lower abdomen. “Smooth.”

“Not for you.”

“Yeah yeah, I know.” His hand continued its journey down her groin. V’s breath hitched in her throat and body squirmed involuntarily when he dragged his fingers along her folds. “Easy girl, I barely touched you.”

“Should I maybe pull over somewhere?”

“And make a show for everyone passing the car by? Kinky.” Johnny leaned towards her, his lips nearly touching her earlobe. He was so close that V could feel his hot breath on her skin and smell the stench of his favorite cigarettes lingering on him. As if he was real, she thought. She couldn’t dwell on it for long though, not with his hand skillfully stroking her slit, up and down, in a steady pace. “Just focus on the road. And try not to come after five seconds, deal?”

He cupped her crotch and a breathy “yes” was the only response V managed to give.

Her pussy was just as Johnny had expected – hot and slick, already dripping, craving stimulation his fingers were so eager to provide. He had so many plans for her, yet so little time, considering how touch-starved and sensitive V was. He thought that maybe he should suggest to fuck her properly, but in their current position it had to wait. Slightly disappointing, but Johnny was fine with that. He loved sex, but watching his girls squirm and moan under his touch was even ten times better than coming himself.

“Nice little cunt you have here.” He tested the waters, slipping one finger in. “Tight and wet, definitely my type.”

“Just stop talking and do what you have to do.” V had a really hard time focusing on the road. She already slowed down, trying her best not to crash into a lamp or another car, and Johnny’s words were making the situation even more challenging.

“And where’s the fun in that?” He was already fingering her deeply, setting a fast pace. ”Without telling you how much I appreciate your body? By the way, have I mentioned that your tits are fucking great?” Johnny’s metal hand cupped her breast, causing soft gasp to escape her mouth. “Amazing. I’d cu-“

“Stop. Talking. PLEASE.”

“Alright, alright, mouth shut. For now.”

Watching V try to keep her body and its reactions under control, while his slick fingers with her juices started massaging her clit, was fun. And dosing her pleasure like he wanted amused Johnny even more. He stopped his ministrations every time V bucked her hips up trying to rub against his hand, or did anything to get more friction, a wry smile twisted at his lips when she shot him a furious glance or made a discontent sound. Yes, it was supposed to be a quick finger fuck, but how could he finish it so fast when he was enjoying it so much? How could he deny himself having his fun with her, having her all to himself like that, a little longer?

Johnny was reluctant to admit it, but truth to be told, he’d had his eyes on her almost from the beginning. V was a woman - an attractive one, there was no doubt for that - and he was a simple man. He couldn’t resist watching her when she was changing or taking a shower (she knew), or even sleeping sprawled on her bed, with that stupid smile on her blissful face. He wanted to see more of her, and sometimes he caught himself thinking of touching her, feeling her in this way. He tried to convince himself that he felt like that because of his fifty years of celibacy, that she wasn’t his type and it was just his cock speaking. But there was something about V, something that attracted him to her like corpo scums attracted his bullets.

And to be honest, did he even have a type? Pretty face, a pair of tits, willing cunt and nice ass - that was enough to get him going. And V fitted that description perfectly.

To V’s relief, and Johnny’s probably too as his existence depended on whether she was alive or not, their car got stuck in a traffic jam, huge as always at this hour in this part of Night City. Now she could fully focus on Johnny and his hand, working its magic in her pants.  

She shifted in her seat, adjusting her position to give him better access to her already dripping entrance. He immediately accepted her invitation, sliding a finger inside, one at first, then second, slowly, giving V time to get used to the stretch. He fingered her deeply, in a steady pace, reveling in the squelchy sounds his hand was making, smiling widely every time a breathy moan escaped her parted lips. Sometimes it was just incoherent babbling, sometimes a mantra of “fuck”s. But then, when she was close to coming, it was mostly his name.

“Such a good girl.” He praised her, getting back to stroking her clit. “Ready to cum?”

“Yes, fuck, don’t stop.”

“I want to feel it.”

His fingers were back inside her pussy, picking up the pace, fucking her harder than before. He was determined to give her the best finger fuck of her life, and after seeing her memories he knew that there wasn’t much to compete with. V had had several partners in her life but, obviously, none of them could measure up to Johnny Silverhand and he was keen to show her why he was so popular among women back in his days. He put his entire heart into working her cunt up and it quickly paid off. V was completely lost in pleasure; her head fell back, eyes closed, moans turned into wails.

She put out quite a show and was so busy chasing her release that she didn’t notice that the guy in the car next to theirs was watching her intensely with a mixture of concern and fascination on his face. She was sure a sight to behold: disheveled, flushed and panting like after running a marathon, and rutting her needy cunt furiously against Johnny’s hand. A hand only she could see. A sudden wave of anger surged through Johnny. Back in his younger days he was quite a fan of public sex, never afraid of being caught, and to be honest not much changed in that matter. He would gladly show this loser who V belonged to and who was making her scream, force him to bashfully avert his eyes and never look at her again. But sadly, he couldn’t, and that frustrated him immensely.

He couldn’t even show that fucker a middle finger. Being dead sucked.

“V, could you do something for me?” Luckily, he had another idea.

“What?” She opened her eyes, looking at him questioningly.

“Scream my name so loud that the entire Watson knows who's making you cum.”

She wanted to snort at his request, but her breath hitched in her throat when Johnny’s lips landed on her neck with a sloppy kiss, escaping it as a loud moan seconds later when his metal hand began working on her clit. And with his organic fingers hitting that right spot inside her, she couldn’t hold back anymore.

Never in her life had V come so hard before. She couldn't control her squirming body, nor her cussing mouth, when waves of pure ecstasy shot through her one after another. She felt her walls clench rhythmically around Johnny’s fingers, still pumping in her to prolong her orgasm, and she cried out his name, begging him to not stop. It was mind-blowing, absolutely breathtaking, and when his lips kissed her exposed neck again, she felt another kind of warmth pool in her chest.

Johnny could feel it all too. Delayed and not as intense as her climax, but strong enough to make him feel spent and satisfied. He flopped back on his seat and reached for his never ending pack of cigarettes, lighting one and taking a long puff, as he always did after a good fuck.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah.” V was slowly coming down from her orgasm high. “Holy shit.”

“And that’s all? Where’s some ‘Thanks Johnny’, ‘You were right Johnny’?”

“Thank you Johnny.”

“See? It wasn’t that hard.” He patted her thigh. “And speaking of hard, that guy in the car on our left was watching you the whole time. And he’s still looking.”

“You gotta be kidding me.” She covered her face with her hand, realizing with embarrassment that she probably gave people around her quite a show. It must have looked exceptional from their perspective. Or maybe not, maybe she looked as if she was just enjoying a BD of a particular sort. Still, she felt pretty awkward.

“Let’s get out of the car and kick his ass, wipe this stupid smile off his stupid face.”

“No.” She didn’t even want to look in that guy’s direction right now.

“Pussy. At least show him a middle finger or something.” Johnny immediately flipped him off with both hands. “Come on, V. Fucker deserves it.”

She sighed and reluctantly, still not looking at her accidental spectator, she did as Johnny asked.

[firelxdykatara]

Reader anon here with a thought!

Do you like love triangles? I personally don't, there is something about them that is incredibly frustrating lol. Same thing for harems, though there are some that do it tastefully 😌 so I can't be too upset by them.

It honestly depends on the love triangle and the way the author writes all three relationships (and, for any genuine love triangle, there should be three relationships--they don't all need to be romantic, but there needs to be an existing and strong relationship between all three points on the triangle, otherwise I'm almost certain not to be at all invested), how they are presented, and what the narrative purpose of the love triangle is.

Ironically, one of the best examples of a love triangle done well (at least... to a certain point in the story, which I'll explain in a bit) happened in a television show that is fairly notorious for turning to utter shit in the latter four seasons and alienating pretty much the entire fanbase, to the point where most of us dipped well before the end and everyone celebrated news of the show's cancellation.

I'm talking about The Vampire Diaries.

(under a cut because i went on a LOOOONG ramble about tvd and why that love triangle worked initially and then why it failed, and then i talked a bit about another love triangle that was pretty weak and failed almost from the outset in OUAT but was ultimately axed in favor of the stronger relationship and character being given focus, and what all of this means for how i feel about love triangles in general)

While this is still very much a case where I only shipped one side of the triangle, hated the other, and couldn't wait for it to be resolved so that I wouldn't have to deal with the side I disliked any longer (the writing was on the wall as far back as season 1, no matter how in denial a certain portion of the fandom remained right up until the series finale) the development of the triangle itself and how it affected all three characters and their relationships with one another was done very well for most of the first four seasons. Damon and Stefan were brothers, with a bloody and complicated history and relationship, and they both fell in love with this human girl--Stefan almost instantly, because she looked just like Katherine and he found himself... (and here I'm going to be as fair as I possibly can to him, but if you want my full anti stelena rant I have many of them prepped and ready to go) following her, at first to make sure she wasn't Katherine, and then inserting himself into her life to protect her. Damon, on the other hand, took much longer, because he was still in love with (and trying to rescue) Katherine, and so when he did fall in love with Elena, it was because of who she was, not because of some idealized 'Not Katherine' pedestal he placed her on the instant he met her.

(I swear, I swear I'm trying to be fair to Stefan, it's just very hard.)

The thing is, Elena was in love with Stefan almost from the jump. (And one of the reasons I never really shipped stelena is because that kind of insta-love with very little conflict that isn't manufactured by the plot just isn't compelling for me, and I fully jumped ship about halfway through s1 when Damon and Elena took a road trip together. It's a long story, but that remains one of my favorite episodes in the entire show and it marks the beginning of their actual journey together.) Stefan showed up at a time when she desperately needed someone, and to his credit he did help her through her early depressive spiral--in large part because Elena's recent trauma (survivor's guilt due to her parents dying in a car crash from which she was the only survivor) meant that finding out Stefan was immortal and could not die and would not leave her resulted in her getting fiercely attached.

He was safe, he was stable, she could rely on him. But she could not grow with him, because for him, she was essentially a morality pet/the anchor to his humanity, and that meant that he could not accept when she began to grow out of her need for him. The fact that this coincided with her becoming a vampire only made things worse--because she settled into being a vampire much more easily with far less strife than he'd ever managed, and an Elena who enjoyed being a vampire in ways Stefan simply couldn't could no longer function as the idealized reminder of humanity he was desperate to cling to.

Damon, on the other hand, was the one who fell in love with Elena--not Not Katherine. He never put her on a pedestal, he never asked more of her than she could give him--when he realized how deep his feelings for her ran, he made her forget his confession because he knew he did not deserve her and he didn't want her burdened with his feelings when she was still in love with his brother and was always going to be. Elena's growing feelings for Damon coincided with her growth from a depressed and suicidal teenage girl into a young woman who began to realize that it was ok to want things for herself--to be a little selfish, to take what she wanted, to admit what she wanted. And, again, the fact that this coincided with her transformation into a vampire (although her growth within her relationship with Damon began well before that), meant that Damon's reaction to Elena-as-a-vampire was thrown into sharp relief against Stefan's--because he accepted her where his brother couldn't.

Ultimately, this led to Elena fully outgrowing her feelings for Stefan, and accepting, nurturing, and reveling in her feelings for Damon. The triangle was resolved, all three characters had growth separately and in their different relationships, and they could then move on from there along their different paths. Stefan could have had some truly excellent character growth involving moving on and finally living for himself rather than trying so hard to be this perfect brooding tortured vampire because he was the Good Brother, since there was no longer any need for that Good Brother/Bad Brother dichotomy. They'd both grown past it, as characters individually and as brothers together.

Unfortunately, where TVD ultimately failed (and this coincided with the way the show utterly lost the plot in terms of storylines, character arcs and cohesiveness and became an unsalvageable mess) is in refusing to let the love triangle die.

What should have happened is that once the love triangle was resolved--Elena growing as a character and moving on from her immature first love and fully embracing her feelings, as an adult, for her much more adult relationship with Damon--they abandoned the love triangle premise and let all three characters continue to grow outside of it. Damon and Elena should have been allowed to grow together and explore their relationship, Stefan to figure out where he still fit in their lives--as Damon’s brother, and one of Elena’s closest friends who she still loved dearly even though she was no longer in love with him--and then explore relationships of his own outside their family unit as he finally began to fully move on and grow out of his own overly idealized feelings for Elena.

Instead, what wound up happening is that the stelena side of the love triangle kept being teased--probably to keep the avid stelena shipping contingent invested in the story, hoping for ‘another brother swap’ as was lampshaded in one of Nina’s final episodes before she left the show (and, indeed, many of them remained utterly convinced that stelena would be endgame, right up until the series finale)--and rather than growing together, delena fans were constantly hit over the head with how ‘toxic’ Damon and Elena were for each other (even though this ran contrary to everything we’d seen in the show to that point, including having Damon regress repeatedly for, presumably, no reason other than to never let fans forget he was the Bad Brother and always would be, and Elena just couldn’t help but love him anyway), and all three characters and their relationships wound up suffering horribly for it.

That is an example of a love triangle that had a very promising foundation and development, right up through what should have been a resolution, and the reason it is generally looked on so unfavorably in fandom circles is because the show refused to move on from the triangle organically when the story needed it to, because it had already served its purpose.

For an example of a love triangle that, in my mind, simply didn’t work from the very beginning, I’d say my go-to example is from Once Upon a Time--the short-lived love triangle between Emma, Killian, and Neal. I think the first stumbling block there was that there weren’t really three relationships that mattered. Technically, Killian did have a connection to Neal--because they’d met in Neverland, prior to Neal remaining in the Land Without magic--but it functioned more as a backdrop to explain why Killian knew him when they got to Neverland again in the story, and why Neal didn’t trust him. It wasn’t actually developed as anything outside of that brief flashback, and they didn’t have any connection in the present outside of one episode where they essentially fought over Emma and she (rightly) got angry at them for it. There was no real exploration of who they were to each other outside of the fact that both of them had feelings for Emma, so it really was just one woman torn between her feelings for two different men, and with no real stakes attached to her choice.

The other problem with this particular triangle is that one side of it was... conspicuously weak. While Emma’d had a full season and a half worth of interactions and development with Killian--where they went from enemies, to grudging allies, to Killian openly acknowledging that he hadn’t ever believed he would be able to love again until he met Emma--she had... very little to support her potential relationship with Neal outside of their history. History which consisted of then-young-adult Neal knocking up underage Emma (she was 17 at the oldest because she was still in Juvie when Henry was born, and he was already ten years old the day she turned 28; so she was either 16 or very newly 17 when she got pregnant) and ensuring that she got sent to prison for his own crime, at which point he didn’t see her again until she was nearly 30. When he did see her again, he treated her incredibly poorly, up to and including getting angry at her about the fact that she didn’t tell him that Henry was his son--even though he had no right to that information, because Emma was in prison because of him at the time she found out, and she had no clue that he was in any way connected to the Fairy Tale world until she was helping Mr. Gold track down his son and it turned out to be Neal.

A big point is made, throughout the early seasons especially, about Emma’s walls and how much difficulty she has trusting people--and a great deal of that stemmed from Neal’s betrayal. This could have been the foundation for a story of healing and growth and two people coming back together--however, with the way Neal treats Emma in the present and how little closure she actually gets for what he did to her in the past, it comes across more as ‘well, she never did get over her feelings for him, so maybe he still has a shot even though she has no real reason to want to be with him now’.

Killian, on the other hand, never doubted Emma’s abilities and always had the utmost trust in and respect for her (after they became allies), and it was obvious that this is something Emma experienced very little of in her life. It’s notable that the first episode where they really interacted is the one in which Emma’s history with Neal is revealed, and it very deliberately paralleled and contrasted with her interactions with Killian. This already presented him with a leg up on the love triangle once Neal did show up, because Neal was the reason for a lot of the walls Emma had built around her heart, and it wasn’t until meeting Killian that she finally began to let some of them down.

I think that the show recognized this, and it pulled something that is actually a very frustrating pet peeve of mine--rather than write out the story that makes sense and have the main point of the love triangle make a choice and stick to it, the third point of the triad was simply written out. In this case, Neal essentially killed himself via his own stupidity, allowing Emma to angst about losing him without actually having to tell him she wasn’t in love with him and wasn’t going to choose him. (Veronica Mars pulled something very similar with the Logan/Veronica/Duncian triangle in season 2--rather than admit within the narrative that her relationship with Duncan was built on flimsy feelings of infatuation bc of their history, and a ‘stability’ that didn’t really work for who Veronica was at her core, he simply got written out of the story, running away for Plot Reasons and never forcing Veronica to confront the fact that she wasn’t actually in love with him and hadn’t been for quite some time.)

I think that in OUaT, the love triangle could have worked if a relationship between Killian and Neal was not only established in the past but developed in the present--Killian was in love with Neal’s mother centuries earlier, and something I’m actually really upset we never got is the two of them talking about Milah and maybe Neal getting some closure for his mother’s abandonment and someone apologizing to him for what they put Baelfire through as a child--giving stakes to Emma’s choice beyond ‘one of them will be all uwu sad that he wasn’t picked’. It also would have worked much better if we were given any reason for Emma to still have feelings for Neal in the present beyond the history they shared, which caused Emma nothing but pain for the last decade and change. If Neal had treated her more fairly--if he’d treated her like someone he actually cared about and even still loved, rather than blaming her for things that were his own fault and undermining her belief in her own abilities, among other things--then their relationship might have been strong enough to stand on its own opposite Emma’s relationship with Killian. I don’t think it ever would’ve been a relationship that appealed to me, personally, but then I could have at least enjoyed watching the three of them grow together and seeing all of their relationships grow and change.

So, ultimately, TL;DR: I do like love triangles, conceptually, but there are a few requirements they must meet for me to feel anything other than irritated at the inclusion. One: there must be at least three equally important relationships between the three characters. If it’s just one character torn between her (or his, but it’s usually a woman) feelings for two unrelated people, that can be compelling for a short time but ultimately I’m going to be left feeling frustrated by her refusal to just make a damn choice and put me out of my misery. Two: there should be some sort of development in each relationship which makes the presence of the triangle narratively significant. Why is it important for one character to have conflicting romantic feelings for these two other people at the same time? What purpose does it serve either their character arcs or the story as a whole? While I am both a Bangel and a Spuffy shipper, I’ve never considered Angel/Buffy/Spike to be a love triangle--they are very different relationships that she had at very different points in her life, and while her feelings for Angel never really went away (and do cause some angst for Spike near the end of btvs) they are never really competing for her affections in any meaningful sense. If that competition does exist, there needs to be a compelling reason why. And, as a further addendum to this point, I need to at least understand why the main point of the triangle is invested in each relationship, even if I don’t ship it and actively dislike or even outright hate one side of the triangle. (I loathe stelena, but I’ve always understood why Elena was in love with him in the beginning of the show, for example. And before s5/s6, I was really pleased with how the show handled her feelings for him and finally allowed her to grow and move on from them.)

And finally, three: the triangle needs to be resolved at some point--and, when it is, it needs to stay that way. Where TVD ultimately lost me (aside from the ridiculous plot contrivances and rampant character assassination) was the refusal to let the love triangle die a natural death when it is what the story called for, and all three of their characters, their relationships, and the show as a whole suffered massively for it. So, when the primary point of the triangle makes a choice--particularly if she had made one choice in the beginning of the story, but it was clear that she was ultimately moving towards choosing the other side as she grew and her feelings and relationships grew and changed with her--let that be the end of it. Move on to exploring what that choice means for the main pair and the party not chosen, sure--maybe explore their feelings about not being chosen and how that affects their relationships with both of the others afterwards--but don’t constantly tease the possibility of the ‘losing side’ getting back together just to keep shippers invested. It’s only going to hurt your show and make everyone look callous and stupid.

Alternately, a final possibility: make it an ot3 instead. But again, if the other three conditions aren’t met (particularly number two, and its addendum; if I don’t understand why the main point of the triangle is in love with both other points, an ot3 is unlikely to resolve that issue and I’m only going to wind up resenting it), then this won’t work, because it’s just going to wind up a lopsided and stilted mess of a relationship that leaves me wishing the offending point of the triangle had been killed off just so I wouldn’t have to keep hearing about them.

[aphrodites-law]

for soldier bc its always been my fave hc of yours: domestic 1

They'd have a loooong road ahead before that. I'm not even sure they'd get married; might just be forever girlfriends. But if they do, it would most likely be Lexa because Clarke is the only family she has left and it could be nice to make it 'official' on paper.

[grandfracturalexact1970]

A 3rd gen Charger from 1974 that I built for a friend.

In the middle of the 60’s , car manufacturers in the USA wanted to make some sort of compact car “pony cars” but fast at the same time. And the Mustang was born. Ford basically refined the muscle car industry by doing it small. There were 3 variants of the mustang you could see.

Hardtop coupe 2 door (square top)

Fastback coupe 2 door (bubble top the first year but fastback the next years)

And the convertible 2 door

But Dodge saw that the car has a success , he begins doing on his own project. We had to wait till 1966 to see the new model: the Charger.

The first two years were extremely looking fastbacks. The car was heavily inspired by the AMC Marlin (despite being a 2 door , this car is soooo loooong!) and Dodge basically took the concept out of the Marlin and and rebranded it as Charger . The front however , is was from the Coronet , a lower class before the Charger and it fits very well. The rear is nothing you ever saw in the the 60’s. This is probably one of the parts that stayed or the concept . The rear is just a big light bar and a metallic bumper. I mean I’m not a big fan of light bar taillights but I just have to admit that on the first gen Charger , it looks ugly. (I probably lost some people now). But the first gen are my favorites along with the third ones.

The second gen are the most unique ones. They downgrade a little to look almost as a Coronet. But we can clearly see that it has his own inspiration. You can look at the photos above while I tell you what’s unique about the second gen. The front wasn’t straight , it was curvy ,the same for the rear too, you’ve got the windows that go up for the rear and all of a sudden it falls . (And for the video games enthusiasts, yes I will tell you what impact those cars got in racing games). And probably the most recognized muscle car cause of one movie that change the car chases in cinema history. This movie was called euhhh… hmmm… b… bull… hmmm… pfff i don’t really remember the name but It was from 1969 or something. Bullit(1968)for those who didn’t get reference . But the worst of it is that this wasn’t the biggest (in terms of lengths,width or height) muscle car , it was just placed between the mustang and another car that I didn’t remember. Yes we can talk about the general lee but it didn’t impact me as much as the Bullit edition. and it was also present in the movie Dirty Mary Crazy Larry (1974) but encounter a pretty tragic fate. From the three years the second gen was built , my favorite will be the 68 version. Because he has hidden headlights without the split grille , that makes car more mysterious and dark vibes from the one from Bullit. And it’s my favorite taillights combination for this car.

After 1970 , the Charger received a new design and it’s not disappointing at all. Really love the 3rd gen variants R/Ts like the variants SEs (which is the civilian version of the Charger or economy version). Actually the one that I built is not the version I prefer the most , if you saw the original movie Gone In 60 Seconds (1974) at a certain moment, there is a garbage truck blocking of the road after a good moment of pure chase , and when the truck stop at the intersection this green Charger with black stripes and vinyl roof with what seems to be dragsters wheels in the back with classic rallye rims , had to do an emergency stop by doing a fishtail because this truck is in the middle of the road and (she wasn’t the escapist, yes cause the driver was female). The next minutes will broke your heart but I leave it to you to watch this movie with intense 40 minutes of pure carnage. Really unfortunate cause this car didn’t not have so much credits and it would’ve been a great thing seeing this Charger in action on another scenes or maybe have its own movie . But i can talk but nothing is gonna be down to make something about this car , and it’s gonna be forgotten just like some other cars. But yes those cars really aged well and still appreciate by muscle cars communities and video games.

After 1975 the Charger got a new look. This was the fourth and the last generation of Charger after a long Time. This one , despite being a nice looking car, doesn’t look like a charger at all. It looks more Chevy Monte-Carlo than Charger. If they rebadged it into another name , I would have love it more (and I do know it’s was also named ‘Cordoba’ but since Dodge is division of Chrysler , it doesn’t really count. Both Cordoba and Charger are the same cars).Don’t have l a lot to say about that generation rather that this was the last after a long time. As I am writing this post , I read that this car actually partipate in the 24H LeMans and it was named Olympia Beer. Is was also one of two nascar cars that participated in this race.

While we gonna make our way into the video games part , I would like to add that there’s the variants of the 69 Chargers that were called Daytona as the same for Plymouth with their Superbirds. Beautiful cars indeed with what Richard Petty race it and (unfortunately) accidentally wreck it and Richard Petty also raced the Third gen Charger.

I first knew the Charger when I was a little younger when we played ( what is gonna be Race driver Grid) Pro race driver a racing game not everyone knows but I’ve grown up since I feel that it is a little off track to see this car in this kind of game along with another corvette and a Shelby cobra AC. But It was my go to car. And we’ve got a whole new package of racing car games that my big brother bought , and this was Need For Speed Undercover (PS2) . The PS2 version was widely criticized because of his cheating AIs but apparently had a better handling system that the PS3/XBox version. I am not going to go spend talking video games specifications because this is not the goal of this post and it’s gonna take 2333 more lines to read. But maybe a little fact about Undercover , one of the only NFS games where you can do a 360 and recover from (and your points bar count that and starts to rise). No wonder why my brothers hated me because every time we did a split screen race battle , they would always win because I’m still rolling in this b-body while they already finish , and this is with this game I discover the Challenger but this is for another post. And it’s just a beautiful car indeed, but yeah I already knew this car in The Fast And The Furious (2009) the fourth, where Bryan O’Conner reunites with Dominic Toretto for stopping a villain in Mexico. I was so young maybe 6 or 7 y/o and it was my big sister who was watching the movie, and I loved the Charger in the movie along with the Chevelle. This is the first Fast And The Furious Movie I’ve watched. The Charger from the fourth, is so far my favorite variant of the Charger In all of the F&Fs movies . Still today the Charger have a meaning to me and to be the first muscle car I discover, i am not disappointed to have discover classic cars and everything. I’ve downloaded two Need For Speed games I’ve never played. Need For Speed Carbon (2006) and Need For Speed Pro Street (2007) I will do a post to show you my whole line of muscle cars .

I’ve met this new friend but is gonna be anonymous, that my parents knew his parent via zoom . And one day my mom told me that I should say at least hello to their son who was the same age to me but a little older. And I said hello to the family and we go to know each other really quick , they know that I love to draw (that’s something that everyone knows when they first meet me) and my mom thought it would be funny to also show what I loved to built , and (this is something not everyone knows) and there were really impressed. And he was really interested to me , something I’ve never feel since I was born (except my family) outside of my family . So his mom decided to come to our house to delivering some food and stayed here for talking . So we talked for hours and never see the time flew really fast . But at the end , the reason why I did this for this, was because he offered me a twin sketchbook and now I can draw characters without having to take out a A4 paper. When this is your family that offered you a gift , you can kind of expecting that it will happening, but this their responsibility and because they love you , but when it comes to someone outside of your family , it means something to you , like you have the confirmation that you exist and there is people that will care about you in the future. I want thank him for the sketchbook he gave me and the package of pencils that he presented to me for my sister when she’s gonna go into France for job reasons , to buy me those packages. I want thank him in advance for that.

[peachebunnys]

Pain, with love IX

Pairing: Horacio Carrillo x reader

Summary: Arranged marriages are tough, but add that with having a drug lord on the loose? Horacio Carrillo can only imagine what’s coming for him. 

Warnings: mentions of blood, violence, angst, mentions of death, lots of crying 

a/n: Okay so I’m really sorry for being on hiatus for a loooong time and not posting fics </3 To those that still follow me and this series, thank you so much for waiting, it really does mean a lot. I hope you like this chapter as much as I liked writing it. 

6.1k words

Masterlist

Chapter 9;

The rain was pouring harder than before, masking the view of anything beyond four hundred feet, drowning out the gentle instrumental that played across the festival square. The air felt tense, holding an invisible burden that was no doubt weighing Horacio down - a silent reminder that death still awaited him. The breeze that came along with the rain was a stark contrast to the warmth in his arms, and as he pulled you closer, he reminded himself that anything he does after this moment would be done to save you. 

The night was far too gentle for what was about to happen and far too unforgiving to those that will no doubt fall victim to it. What would become of this night, Horacio couldn’t fathom - but all he knew that you were safe now in his arms. 

Still. 

Like a single piano note echoing in a large empty room. 

Though the rain was like a soothing melody on this cold night, there was a sense of dread that lurked in Horacio’s heart. 

What was to happen now?

It was him against who knows how many, with two soiled pistols to defend himself with. 

The risk. 

Was it worth it?

It felt like everything had come to a halt, and Horacio wondered if this was what it felt like when one was minutes away from their inevitable end. Time was moving slower than before, a funny situation that Horacio had always found himself in when danger lurked around the corner. Seconds was starting to feel like minutes, which was increasingly welcomed as he tightened his hold around you. 

The fact that you were here, with him, was a thought that comforted him amidst the chaos that would come sooner than he’d think. Never in his life had Horacio been so afraid to lose his life, now that he knew he truly had something to look forward to - you. 

The uncertainty of how the night would unfold was hanging above his head while the rain pitter-pattered against the granite grounds. Horacio found his mind muddled with thoughts on what was to come. 

If he died tonight, in a battle against the war on drugs, it’d be you he’ll last think of. 

Always you. 

Your cheek rested perfectly on his shoulder, finding comfort in the thick padding that was behind his uniform. The cool wind blew against your skin, a contrast to the blush that crept up your neck as Horacio continued staring into your eyes. His rough fingers grazed your soft cheeks, caressing the skin just under your eyes to wipe away the raindrops that ran down your temple. Your eyes were filled with utmost adoration that nearly broke his heart - how could you love a man like him, especially when his time was limited? 

Your love for him was unconditional, a bittersweet reminder that a man as broken as he was still worthy of love. Within the few months of knowing you, the pieces of him that had been left scattered around were put back together and mended - creating a person that Horacio was surprised had even existed. Your gentle smiles and big heart was what had made him whole, and damn anyone who would think that Horacio wasn’t willing to die for you at this point. 

On the night you tended to him, he had come home as a shell of a man - broken and vulnerable as he thought about how the war on drugs had taken more from him than imagined. The tough colonel facade wasn’t one he could uphold forever, and as you nursed him back to full health, he realized that he could finally be himself around you. 

The warmth from you changes me, he thinks, I am not afraid anymore because you’re by my side. 

The distinct sound of the tires against wet granite cracked, a noise that was no doubt getting louder as the vehicle sped faster towards the two of you.   

Horacio took one final glance at you, moving his large palm away from the small of your back to rest on his pistol. The smile shared between the two of you was genuine, and you marveled at the way his eyes were lit up from the streetlights that cast a gentle orange glow on his face. 

300 feet. 

Because you won’t let go of my hand, you’re saving my life. 

The fluorescent headlights pierced through the thick veil of rain, casting a beam that lit up Horacio’s body. He winced at the harsh lighting, instinctively coiling his other arm tightly around your back. Though the vehicle was barely visible in the heavy rain, Horacio could hear the engines roar, evidently picking up its pace towards him. 

150 feet. 

It was going to be too late if he didn’t act now. 

Without warning, Horacio held you firmly against his chest, diving towards the empty pavement that ran parallel to the road. Bullets whizzed past the back of his head as he collapsed onto the sidewalk, buzzing louder than the tires that slid on the wet floor. The shots were imprecise, with one grazing Horacio’s left bicep as he draped over your cowered body. 

Fuck!

Your heart was beating faster with each second that passed, unable to assess the situation that was happening so quickly. One minute, you were in the arms of your lover, confessing your love to each other, and the next - fearing for your lives. 

Was this how he felt whenever he left for work?

Did he feel the iciness in his blood overwhelm him, each time he was closer to death?

You averted your gaze to your husband, watching his jaw clench as he turned to look at the source of the gunshots. With his large palms carefully resting on your back, you managed to slip your arms out from his embrace, resting your hands gently on his arms. 

Despite the rain, your clothes hadn’t been soaked just yet, with only the back of your dress sticking against your skin. You felt an odd dampness that painted your fingers red, searing your skin as you gazed upon the liquid that smeared across your fingers. This was the telltale sign that whatever fight the two of you have been caught between, was no normal one. 

Your voice wavered, words choking as you barely got his attention, “H-Horacio, you- you’re bleeding.” You turned your right hand to study the blood that was now mixed with the raindrops. The thick liquid dripped down your palms and onto your wrist, imprinting the color onto your skin. Your heart rate spiked, and you could feel your head spin with whatever was happening. 

This wasn’t like that night. 

The two of you were crouching beside a red car that was parked along the walkway, and as your mind raced at what was to happen, the sound of tires came to a screeching halt. The high pitched sound was almost deafening, causing Horacio to instinctively tuck your head under his chin. His large palm covered your ear fully, and you could feel the warmth radiate off his skin. 

Amidst the rain that was visibly lessening, there were unintelligible shouts that came from the vehicle. The source of it was unknown to you, but from the look on Horacio’s face, you could only tell it wasn’t from someone good. 

Horacio’s hands were still wrapped around your back, eyes shifting quickly to assess his surroundings. His breaths were starting to get labored, with beads of sweat trickling down his temple. With each exhale he had let out, there was a cloud of mist that formed, illuminated by the streetlights.  

The rain had finally stopped, and the heat that remained was starting to get uncomfortable with each passing moment. You tried to regulate your breathing, taking short, deep breaths as your mind blocked out the continuous threats from behind. 

“You can’t run nor hide Colonel! You will pay for what you’ve done to me, I will kill you.”

Horacio could hear you suck in another breath, trembling in his arms as he thought of ways out of a situation like this. He moved his hand away from your face to gently hold your hand, pulling your attention away from the chaos around you. 

“Hey,” Horacio whispered, eyes filled with determination as he gently kissed your palms, "Whatever you do, I want you to promise me -”

Crash

The car windows above you shattered as the glass poured all over the two of you. 

Both of you ducked to escape the impact, finding tiny glass pieces littered all over your hair and shoulders. It glistened as the lights shined on them, creating a beautiful reflection that was a mixture of emerald green and tangerine. 

To find beauty in chaos; how ironic, seeing that this may ultimately lead to your untimely deaths. 

“Whatever you do, don’t leave this position,” Horacio’s eyes were now wide with fear, gripping your forearms roughly before moving over to fish out his pistol. You quickly brushed the loose strands out of your face and nodded, palms getting sweaty from the fear that engulfed you. Horacio leaned his back firmly against the wheel of the car, occasionally peeking out to check where the vehicle was parked. Each time his head turned to get a view of the truck, there was a shot fired soon after, accompanied by a peal of maniacal laughter that seemed to get louder with each gunshot. 

“Come out Colonel! I don’t want to hurt that pretty wife of yours, it’d be a shame if someone as weak as her were to be left defenseless.”

Horacio could feel his blood boil, fingers trembling as he loaded the ammunition into his pistol. His cheeks were now rosy, contrasting against his paling, sweaty skin as his anger heightened. The voice, low and croaky, was distinctively the man that Horacio had thrown in jail just a few months prior. As he took one last glance over his shoulder, he reminded himself that this fight was between the drug lord and him alone. 

His heart ached, and Horacio was once again reminded of the reasons he had turned away from your love the night you had confessed. 

Danger. Death. Blood. Fear. 

These were the things that inevitably followed behind him, like an inconceivable mass that floated around his being - sucking out the energy and joy from him. He didn’t want this for you, to shoulder his burden with him. He was a liability, he thought, that would create more pain than happiness. 

But that was never the case. 

Your presence in his life alone was like a beacon of hope, and he knew now that you were always his saving grace. How was it that one simple continuous act of kindness had saved him from himself? It dawned on him that on the very night he had come home from the raid, your stubbornness to treat and care for him was the first hit to the walls he had built over the years. 

Butterfly effect. 

Just as he was about to peek over the hood of the car, you forcefully yanked him back, feeling your heart hammer in your chest as you watched your husband eye you with surprise. “What are you doing?” Your panicked whisper had earned yet another gunshot through the window, missing you by a foot. You quickly let go of Horacio’s arm, covering your hands over your mouth to mask the surprised squeak that came after the loud blast. 

“Y/N, listen to me - please, I don’t want you getting hurt. I'll drive him away from this car, and I want you to run as far as you can, away from this place.”

“Where the fuck,” 

The car that was parked behind the one you sought refuge beside had its windscreen shot out and shattered. The impact alone had caused an explosion of glass pieces, some of which tore through your skin as it flew out. 

“- are you, Colonel? Didn’t take you for a coward that would hide in the face of danger!”

“Horacio, I won’t leave y-” The look on your face - the fear mixed with anxiety mirrored the feelings that were starting to manifest within him, but in a time like this, Horacio had to remind himself to be the stronger person for the both of you. Your fingers were once again wrapped around his forearm, fingertips becoming icy as the fear settled in you. 

You could lose him. 

“Please,” Horacio’s eyes were glassy, begging you to comply with his request as he made a plan to distract the drug lord behind him. “Please, my love.” 

“Just this once, I promise.”

You stared at the man you loved so dearly, feeling your heart break as you noticed a waiver in his voice. His Adam's apple bobbed as his eyes jumped around the features of your face. The man that you’ve always known to be fierce and courageous now kneeled beside you, begging for you to leave as he faced death once more. 

He could die today. 

And this would be the last time he’d see you. 

“Y/-”

His words were cut short by the kiss that practically took his breath away. You gently pressed your lips against his, feeling the plushness mold onto you. He tasted like mint, a candy you noticed he’d pop into his mouth whenever he was stressed or nervous. You cupped his warm face, brushing away the hairs that stuck against his forehead. 

Sweet. And far too short. 

Just like your time together. 

The tears in your eyes rolled down your cheek while your lips trembled as you pulled away from your husband. Your vision was clouded, with more tears dripping each time you blinked. You dropped your line of sight to look at Horacio’s large hands wrapping around your smaller ones, gently rubbing circles around your knuckles. With a soft chuckle, he moved closer to kiss your damp cheek, planting a soft peck before whispering in a hushed tone. 

“I love you.”

As soon as those words rolled out of his mouth, Horacio turned his back towards you, cocking his gun to point at the man before him. He had fired the first shot, which you could only assume was unsuccessful from the way he cursed under his breath. There was a series of bullets that came shortly after, firing through the empty car beside you. 

A faint smell of smoke was starting to fill the air, fueling the tension that was building up. Horacio tilts his head towards the end of the road, silently gesturing for you to run in that direction. The engines of the truck had started up again, with the loud vibrations from under the hood killing the silence. 

You took this opportunity to make a run for it, racing down the pavement as fast as you can. The streetlights were few and far in between, allowing you to hide in the dark and away from plain sight. The wind had caused the pooling beads of sweat to drip faster down your face, causing a slightly ticklish sensation while you ran away from the parked truck. 

“Wh-” 

The windscreen of the car beside you had shattered, naturally making you dodge as the loud shot echoed through the night. Your heart leaped out of your chest, catching itself in your throat as you fell against the wet cement sidewalk. The festival across the street was now deserted, for all the locals had fled the scene as soon as the first shot went off. The place was a complete ghost town, plagued by a sense of dread and eeriness and it was only heightened by the death that awaited you. 

Soft, up-beat instrumental music was playing on the speakers across the festival grounds, easing your nerves by a tinge as you scoured for a place to hide behind. A second gunshot was heard, accompanied by a piercing scream that rang in your ears. 

Horacio?

The screeching of tires came next, dragging across the wet roads to gain traction. There was no telling which direction the vehicle was moving, which led to you to hide behind the back of another car. Bullets were fired again, with the loud bang penetrating through the humidity. The truck had lost control of its back wheels, crashing straight into the wall next to the festival grounds. 

Smoke emitted from the hood of the truck, dancing with the wind that was a stark contrast to the scorching weather. There was a certain tension amidst the air, so thick that Horacio almost felt like it was suffocating him. The wound from his arm was bleeding out, soaking his uniform in a shade of dark red. The impact of the shot to his arm had led him to tumble backward, twisting his ankle in a manner that was less than pleasant. 

The sickening smell of death had lingered in the air, making him wonder if it was his that it was foreshadowing. With great grit and determination, Horacio hobbled across the road and towards the wrecked vehicle. With each step he took, there was a faint crunching sound that came with the pressure of his boots against the wet granite. 

Sweat trickled down his forehead, diluting the blood that painted the side of his face. He took a glance at you, studying the way you were crouched beside a car further down the street. Your breathing was regulated, as far as he could tell, and that gave him some peace of mind, knowing that you were okay. With trembling arms, he could vaguely see you hoist yourself up from the ground, staring straight back at him. 

The night had become eerily silent, save for the truck’s engine that gently hummed in a rhythmic beat. Horacio looked back at you, noticing the way your hair was in complete disarray. Your eyes were wide with fear, which barely subsided once you noticed the state of the truck after the accident. Horacio was a good 150 feet away from you, holding up his left palm as a gesture to stay back. You were now trembling from the cold rather than fear, watching the way your husband hobbled across the street towards the partially wrecked vehicle. 

You slowly crawled around the empty car next to you, kneeling just behind the boot to get a glimpse of what was to happen. Your dress was now completely ruined, with several holes and tears that littered along the hem and sleeves. You messily pushed the stray strands out of your face, leaning slightly to the side of the headlights to peek at the accident that had just happened. 

The back of the car was cold, further freezing up your fingertips as you positioned yourself properly so that only half your face was visible from the backlights of the car. With each step Horacio took, the next one came as a limp. It was clear that his right foot was injured, and you only prayed that it wouldn’t cost him his life at this moment. In his right hand was his pistol, cocked and ready to fire as he carefully stalked towards the vehicle. The truck was in your line of sight, giving you the ability to study the driver’s seat as Horacio continued moving towards it. There were faint movements that came from the dull figure, but as your husband crept next to the front door, you could slowly make out that the man was reaching out for something. 

Horacio propped himself up as he stepped on the mini step outside the door, peeking into the vehicle through the wind-down windows. Gacha, from a motionless state, had sprung alive - pointing a gun directly into Horacio’s face. Without a second to spare, he punched the drug lord’s wrists in an attempt to weaken the hold on the pistol. The action alone had caused the criminal to pull the trigger, firing a bullet mere inches away from Horacio’s face. 

The sound that emitted from the now piping hot weapon had momentarily caused Horacio to lose his hearing in his left ear. There was a constant and sharp ringing that stung, causing him to wince and throw his head back. This moment of vulnerability had allowed Gacha to butt the back of his weapon against Horacio’s right cheek. 

The flurry of emotions that evoked as soon as the pistol broke his skin had fuelled his wrath against the drug lord. The cut across his nasal bridge was long and deep, which had only come about after a soft crackling sound. Horacio’s nose started to bleed, painting his upper lip with red that saw no end. The anger that brewed from the pain had caused Horacio to retaliate - punching the other man right in the face. 

The blow was a hard one, filled with all the might that Horacio could muster from his injured right hand. It had momentarily knocked Gacha out, which was the window that allowed Horacio to drag him out of the vehicle and throw him onto the cold hard ground. The other man had fallen face first, with his face grazing the uneven road harshly. 

You have never seen your husband in such a state before - with eyes that fired up with anger, along with a stance that you knew meant danger. You were still crouched behind the car across the deserted street, shivering as you watched the situation before you unfold. The drug lord’s back was turned towards you, slowly backing away as Horacio stalked towards him. The streetlight shined perfectly onto your husband’s face, illuminating the wounds littered across his cheeks and nose. 

The atmosphere was one that you weren’t familiar with - thick and heavy with tension, along with the faint smell of gasoline that hung above you. You carefully shifted your weight onto your other foot, popping your head out from behind the tail lights to get a better view. With a gun in one hand, and blood soaking the other, Horacio looked more like death himself. The sight was utterly terrifying, and as you studied the way he circled the criminal with his weapon drawn, you couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that came. 

This wasn’t the man you knew. 

This wasn’t the man you fell in love with. 

You think back to the night he had come stumbling home, covered in bruises and cuts. The raid that he had conducted was successful, but as you watched him grit his teeth towards the drug lord, you wondered how much blood had stained his hands that night. His shoulders were squared, standing upright while positioning the gun at the other man’s chest. You always knew that his work would demand him to do such heinous activities, but never once did it occur to you that you’d live to see it happening before your eyes. 

The very same hands that held you as you cried to sleep were now seconds away from taking a life. Sure, the man who was sprawled before him was a despicable one without a doubt, but the fact that he could comfort you as easily as he killed was something you couldn’t shake off. You opted to remain silent, realizing it was best to blend into the night as your husband fulfilled his vow to keep the city safe from these criminals. 

To fulfill the oath he had taken when he donned the uniform that symbolized the protection of this country. 

With slow, deliberate breaths, you managed to regulate your heartbeat, feeling it return to normal as opposed to the thunderous hammering against your chest. The night was starting to become warmer, with the stars sparkling to create a magnificent view. There was an exchange of muffled words, ones that had you straining yourself to get a better hearing. You could tell that Gacha’s breathing was starting to become unstable, coughing up blood every so often. 

Horacio’s voice was stern and hushed, warning the man in front of him before moving his index finger onto the trigger. There was a hearty chuckle that came soon after, broken and loud as the drug lord internalized Horacio’s threats. 

“This isn’t the end Colonel Carrillo, like they always say - death is only the beginning.”

The man, with his palms laid flat against the ground behind him, had quickly reached out to something kept firmly against the back of his pants. Everything happened too quickly, and the sound of a bullet being fired had involuntarily made you duck. You had barely caught sight of what had happened, as it moved within a split second. 

There was a shuffle of uneven footsteps, with no particular rhythm as the scraping of the shoes’ sole dragged against the pavement. As you slowly removed your cupped hands away from your ears, you glanced up to see Horacio standing as still as a statue. His eyes darted across the ground, blinking slowly - almost as if he was registering what had happened. His face was starting to lose its color, which was increasingly visible as the warm orange streetlight cast its glow onto him. 

The weapon in his right hand had dropped, clanking against the ground as his eyes widened in horror. His knees were bent by a fraction, no longer carrying that confident stance he had just moments prior. With unsteady hands, his arm had moved up towards his stomach, mouth gaping as he firmly held his palms against his body. 

He stumbled back again, locking eyes with the drug lord as his breathing became labored. The next thing you noticed was the chortle that came from the man that laid across him, holding a smoking gun directed at your husband gleefully.

“You’re regretting this, aren’t you?” The pistol was directed towards your husband’s chest. The two men were standing a few feet apart, with Horacio’s face filled with defeat. You could barely hold in your whimpers, studying the way your husband’s body was slowly collapsing against the cold ground. Your heart was thumping in your chest, with blood turning ice-cold as you continued watching the scene unfold before you. 

You could run in to help him, to tackle the drug lord while his back was still faced towards you. But what good would that do? You were defenseless and weak, with nothing to fend yourself against a vengeful criminal. The weather was starting to get warmer, leaving no traces of the rain that poured an hour before. Your vision was slowly getting blurry from the tears that welled in your eyes. 

It felt like there was barbed wire wrapped around your throat, hindering your ability to breathe. Everything felt like it was suffocating you, with each breath you took hurting. 

Was this it?

To watch your husband die minutes after he confessed his love?

It was twisted - cruel, sickening, and twisted. Your whole body trembled as you muffled the sobs that choked out. With eyes burning and bloodshot, you strained to look at your lover - for it may be the last time you could do so. 

“Not even the slightest.”

Horacio’s broken words rang in your ears, forcing you to look up at him through your blurred vision. He was looking right back at you, forming the barest smile on his face as he continued clutching his torso. His eyes were locked with yours, filled with utmost adoration even as he stared death in the face. 

“H-Horacio,” your voice cracked, choking as your throat felt tighter. “Please.” 

Bang. 

You watched as your husband flew back from the impact, body crashing against the wet ground as the shot fired straight into his chest. His back scraped against the uneven road, creating a crackling sound that seemed to echo in your ears. You could hear his gasps for air, chest heaving from the force of the shot. 

Still. 

Like a single piano note that echoed in an empty room. 

What this night had turned out to be, wasn’t what anyone had imagined. As you crouched behind a car, you watched as your husband lived his last few minutes before death. Your fingers dug into the bumper, scratching against the metal until the paint came off. 

You couldn’t bear to watch, not when the final gunshot would no doubt be through Horacio’s body. “I love you,” you turned your head away, staring at the wet granite. You clutched the bumper tighter, bracing the loud gunshot that would pierce through the night. 

“What are you looking a-” 

Crack. 

There it was. 

A loud pierce that destroyed the silence of the night. 

The heavy sound of a body falling slammed against the ground. Your head instinctively curled into your arm, coiling into a ball and you sobbed against your sleeves. Your whole body trembled, heart breaking into pieces that tore you apart. 

This was it, he was gone. 

You haphazardly wiped your nose and eyes, getting rid of the tears that stained your cheeks. You were still in the way of danger, with Gacha on the loose. With no one left to fend you with, your only hope was yourself - and you had to think fast. Without looking at the area where your husband once was, you quickly grabbed your purse, struggling to stand up and move. 

You softly cursed yourself for wearing heels, realizing it wasn’t the best footwear to run in, especially when you were escaping a notorious drug lord. The clasp of the heels had come off rather easily, and you tossed them under the car before moving to crawl away from the line of sight. 

As your knees met the hard road, you could feel your skin pierce with pain - feeling the coolness of the ground draw blood from your skin. You had let out a soft gasp, trembling as the thick red liquid coursed down your leg. The gentle breeze did nothing but alleviate the stress you felt, causing goosebumps in its wake. 

You had almost reached the side of the car until you heard a soft gasp for your name. Grief-stricken, you shrugged it off as a figment of your imagination - not wanting to delude yourself into things that may slow down your escape. You continued crawling down the street, parallel to the accident that had just taken place. 

Your breathing was a mess, with a mixture of short and deep breaths that were knocking more wind out of your lungs. You heard it again - the hushed cries for you, laced with worry and sadness. 

It sounded like Horacio. 

You quickly wiped the snot that dripped down your nose, turning to cast a wary look at the truck. You were directly across that road, giving you the ability to see the whole scene between the gap of two cars’ bumper. 

Your heart plummeted as you caught sight of Horacio’s outstretched hand, reaching out to you as he called your name once again. His voice was now broken and lost, trembling as your name rolled off his tongue. 

Across him was the now still drug lord, sprawled across the ground in a pool of blood. The sight itself was horrifying, choking a loud gasp as you internalized what had happened. 

Horacio was still alive. 

His drooping eyes were fixated on you, watching you from the distance as he continued moaning out your name into the night. The gears in your head were shifting, unable to comprehend the scene before you. 

The bullet didn’t kill Horacio.

The bullet came from him.

His chest rumbled as he coughed out blood, shoulders trembling from the force. He was laying on the hard ground, barely propping himself up with the arm that was injured. 

“Y/—“ 

You didn’t have time to think, only knowing that your feet had carried you to him. Your mind was a mess, with none of your thoughts comprehensible enough to understand. Your hands hadn’t stopped shaking, dripping with blood that you weren’t sure belonged to you. Horacio’s breathing was labored and slow, heaving every so often. His temples were painted red, with his blood dripping along his hairline as he smiled weakly at you. 

You leaned in close to him, gently clutching his shoulder as you continued sobbing into his chest. His warm hand rested against your head, gently running his fingers along the side of your face. The same hands that pulled the trigger, were now comforting you as you anticipated what was to come. 

The irony. 

Horacio was a strong man, and as you saw the series of events that had unfolded earlier, you wondered if the weight on his shoulders was more than he had led you to believe. Did it plague his mind, of the blood that stained his fingers, of the men he had killed? 

Was he ever afraid that he might never make it out of this job alive?

You thought back to the night you cried into his arms, similar to how it was now. With unsteady hands, you fished out your phone from your purse, unable to dial the right numbers as tears fell against the device. 

“It- It’s going to be,” you glanced up at Horacio, watching blood drip down the corner of his lips, “-okay.”

You dialed the number for the ambulance, sobbing unintelligibly into the phone. Horacio’s eyes were starting to droop, unable to maintain eye contact with you as you provided the details to where you were. As soon as the other end hung up, you dropped your phone and cupped his face, smiling hesitantly as your thumb brushed off the thick red liquid that oozed from the cuts on his face. 

Horacio reached out to your hand, bringing it closer to his cold lips before planting a gentle kiss. The tears on your face had now flowed freely, and you hiccupped your pleads as he continued kissing your knuckles. 

“H-Horacio please, you can’t die. Please, not now- not right now.” 

Your cries were masked with broken sobs and choked tears, running your hands along his dry canvas uniform. You subconsciously stopped at the bullet hole, circling the tear in the uniform with your index finger. Your vision was once again blurry, mind muddled with thoughts on how you’d lose him any second. 

The blood on your fingers tints the military green shirt, soaking the relatively clean clothing. 

“W-wait,” your voice breaks, and you quickly wipe the tears from your eyes. 

“You-you’re, you’re not bleeding.” 

Horacio lets out a soft chuckle that quickly turns into a pained groan. With his dirty, wounded hands, he slowly unbuttoned his top, gently pulling apart at the buttons to expose the bulletproof vest that was donned on him. 

“You--” Your mind spun, unable to register what was happening. 

What the fuck?

“You fucking idiot!” Your cries were now louder, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

You gently pushed his arm away from you, still recovering from everything that happened throughout the night. You ran your hand over his uniform again, smiling with glee as you realized that he was going to make it. 

The night was cool now, carrying a comforting breeze that dried your tears. The air no longer carried the smell of gasoline, but with the faint smell of damp grass. Crickets from nearby trees chirped, returning back the sanctuary of the night. There was no longer the imminent threat that lurked around you, giving you back that peace of mind. 

You glanced back at Horacio, watching him look back at you with love and adoration. His grip on your hands tightened, rubbing comforting circles on the back of your palm as support. How the two of you had made it out of this alive, you couldn’t fathom. 

But despite everything, it only proved that your love was stronger than any force that reckoned with it. As Horacio brought your palm up to his lips again, he thought back to how you were always his beacon of hope. His person that he wanted to come back to. 

“I promised you that I’ll come back to you, didn’t I?”

His eyes were once again glassy, and he kissed your thumb as you brushed across it. The love between the two of you, though barely spoken about, was immeasurable. Another tear spilled down your cheek, and you silently thanked the heavens that your lover managed to make it out alive. 

What was to happen next was unknown to both of you, but you knew that together, you’d be able to overcome anything. You slowly nodded, voice breaking again as you agreed with him. 

“Yes,” you smiled, “ you did.”

[oh-phineas]

songs to steal a train to: a district 3 playlist (alternate title: i really, really like trains)

1. Sleep on the Floor by the Lumineers 2. King of the Road (She and Him cover) 3. Hard Travelin’ by Mandolin Orange 4. On the Road Again by Willie Nelson 5. I’ve Been Everywhere by Johnny Cash 6. Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen 7. Atlantic City by The Band 8. Married in a Gold Rush by Vampire Weekend 9. Truckin’ by The Grateful Dead 10. Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan 11. California by Joni Mitchell 12. Carolina In My Mind by James Taylor

1. Sleep on the Floor by the Lumineers

If the sun don't shine on me today And if the subways flood and bridges break Will you lay yourself down and dig your grave Or will you rail against your dying day

This felt like a good place to start! It literally starts with telling someone to go pack lol. And it’s all about leaving behind expectations for you and pursuing adventure, using a sort of apocalypse motif. Felt very fitting.

2. King of the Road (She and Him Cover)

I know every engineer on every train All of the children and all of their names Every handout in every town Every lock that ain't locked when no one's around

Now THAT’S what I call a train song!!! Hell yeah!! I love the nostalgia for this song and its sort of nursery rhyme quality. It sounds like the kind of thing you play on the harmonica while you ride the rails. Good stuff.

3. Hard Travelin’ by Mandolin Orange

Well that whiskey'll never hold you like a good girl can When the nights get lonely it can be your only friend Hard traveling down the road I'm feeling bad boys, I'm feeling low I'm feeling bad boys, I'm feeling low

Can you tell I’m listening to one artist and one artist only during this AU lol. But yeah I think this song is all about how lonely life on the road can be, and ya know I thiiink our lil gang of rebels will be okay (looking at you, Selene/Sol and Kitsune/Siren 😉And we all know this is classic Simber). But it’s just a vibe and I bet some people ARE lonely in the legion!!!

4. On the Road Again by Willie Nelson

We're the best of friends Insisting that the world keep turning our way And our way Is on the road again I just can't wait to get on the road again

Alright this isn’t really PLOT relevant but you can’t have a road trip playlist without this song. Like King of the Road, it’s a real harmonica on the railroad type song. And it’s got a hopeful quality that I think is important!

5. I’ve Been Everywhere by Johnny Cash

I was totin' my pack along the dusty Winnemucca road, When along came a semi with a high an' canvas-covered load. "If you're goin' to Winnemucca, Mack, with me you can ride." And so I climbed into the cab and then I settled down inside. He asked me if I'd seen a road with so much dust and sand. And I said, "Listen, I've traveled every road in this here land!"

This song is just silly and fun. I hope everyone sings along on the ride to Enchantra. Love the vibe of just people giving each other rides across the country to seek adventure. 

6. Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen

The highways jammed with broken heroes On a last chance power drive Everybody's out on the run tonight But there's no place left to hide Together, Wendy, we can live with the sadness I'll love you with all the madness in my soul Oh, someday girl, I don't know when We're gonna get to that place Where we really want to go, and we'll walk in the sun But till then, tramps like us Baby, we were born to run

This is incredibly self-indulgent and doesn’t really fit the vibe of the playlist. But COME ON!!! This song awakens something in my SOUL. Especially this last part. Love u Bruce Springsteen xoxo

7. Atlantic City by The Band

Well, I got a job and I put my money away But I got the kind of debts that no honest man can pay So I drew out what I had from the Central Trust And I bought us two tickets on that Coast City bus

This also is more about vibes than plot relevance. Society has rejected you. You have no money. Your relationship is kind of failing, but you really need to not be all alone. So what do you do? FLEE THE STATE! I’m not saying Enchantra = Atlantic City but... idk maybe I am

8. Married in a Gold Rush by Vampire Weekend

Something's happening in the country And the government's to blame We got married in a gold rush And the rush has never felt the same

Shared a moment in a café Shared a kiss in pouring rain We got married in a gold rush And the sight of gold will always bring me pain

I feel like this song can be for disillusioned Victors. This society raised you up and rewarded you with riches, but you’re left with all this pain and trauma. And you don’t know what to do with that, so you run away. Everything you were promised isn’t really what you hoped for. Everything that glitters... isn’t gold!

9. Truckin’ by The Grateful Dead

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me Other times, I can barely see Lately, it occurs to me What a long, strange trip it's been

I love this song for a road trip. It’s got everything: long, rambling guitar solos and lyrics about being on the run from the law and a very long story about various towns. I think being in the Legion can feel like that, after many years. Being on the run in general. A loooong strange trip.

10. Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan

How does it feel, how does it feel? To be on your own, with no direction home A complete unknown, like a rolling stone

This song to me is for all the rich kids/Capitol kids/Career district kids who defected. And might feel a little in over their heads. They feel idealistic about joining the cause, but they have no idea what real hardship is like. How DOES it feel???!

11. California by Joni Mitchell

Oh it gets so lonely When you're walking And the streets are full of strangers All the news of home you read Just gives you the blues

I just thought after Bob’s angry rant it might be nice to have a sweet chill song about homesickness. Because that’s for real. But Enchantra might also be California. The promise of a new life and a new home. And I just love Joni’s voice in this.

12. Carolina In My Mind by James Taylor

Dark and silent late last night I think I might have heard the highway calling Geese in flight and dogs that bite Other signs that might be omens say I'm going, going I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind

Ending on a mellow note. Maybe you didn’t make it to Enchantra. But you’re still dreaming of a better life. That things can be different. This one’s for all the people the Legion lost. And for hope! This song makes me emo sjkfaalsfh

That’s all! Hope you enjoyed ur ride

[oh-for-fic-sake]

The Ground Rules

Geralt lays down the law with the help of yennefer after catching the reader haveing a bit of me time in the bath.

Masterlist

Ok this took all day as i couldnt stop tweaking it and i got to the point iv just got to step back and throw it out there or im gonna scream.Any way this is to go along with pastry negotiations its based after that one so could be considered part two? can be read stand alone tho in all honesty these modern reader inserts are gonna jump about in timeline cos my plot bunnys are twats. Im basing my Ciri on a mix of mature netflix Ciri and slightly mischievous witcher 3 Ciri. Any way i hope you enjoy this one im pretty pleased with it xx 

WARNING: Adult Themes, Smut, DubCon Swearing MxFxF 18+

Dont like it dont read it.

Geralt snaps when you take matters into your own hands.

The Ground Rules

"Well someone is excited" Jaskier drolled as he watched your form slowly creating distance between you as you marched ahead.

As the small rickety town came into veiw you cried out a victorious and dramatic "still alive" causing eye rolls and chuckles in the group. Honestly this was the first real town you'd come to since being here and you were thrilled. Sure you'd passed a tiny smattering of houses four or so days ago where you'd traded for some bread, tiny amount of dried meat and a few other essentials oh! and yenn had managed to replace your pastry to the amusment of the resident witcher. They'd both been more open with you since the whole pastry incident-which you thought was an off handed comment on yennefers part but she and geralt had since indicated otherwise.

The people in the village had mentioned of a near by town that was rumoured to have a contract out on a nest of some monster thingamajigs that you hadn't botherd to remeber the name of .You looked down the verge towards the town with immediate thoughts of eat, bathe and sleep- on a bed, a real fucking bed ,ok so it wont be a temper mattress but you could live with that-oh my fucking god hot water,a nice loooong soak you moaned in your throat the thought alone brought tears to your eyes. You walked ahead trying to usher the group.

And maybe you could have your own room. Honestly sharing a bed with the couple was becoming an issue for you,your crush on them was definatly getting out of control now constantly blushing under their heated glances and they are becoming more touchy feely, Hands lingering longer than nesscasary or leaning in so close so thier breath tickled the hairs on your neck basically doing anything to get you flustered and you swear to god yesterday yennefer copped a feel whilst helping you threw a small steam which you didn't need help with;not that she listened. Bottom line you were becoming sexualy frustrated pretty much staying in a constant state of arousal a night away from them to take care of business would be very much appreciated. 

"Come ooooonnnn guys keep up" you turned looking back at them drawing out your whine befor resuming towards the town

"Someone should catch up with her she looks like a girl on a mission" Yennefer commented 

"Yes. Ciri would you keep her near the main gate and out of trouble while we settle roach in the stables ,here take her this she should cover up befor anyone gets any ideas" geralt grunted as your form began to dissapear down the brow of the hill ,ciri looked between the two before shrugging grabbing his offered cloak then ran to catch up with you.

You glanced to the side as you heard footsteps noticing Ciri fall in step with you she held out his cloak.

"Here geralt said to cover up before people get any ideas" you sighed it wasnt your fault his shirt hung off of you showing a large amount of shoulder and chest luckily when the hoover portal of doom sucked you in you were in fleece lined black leggings that had been durable enough to survive the last 3 weeks on the road(your stitch t shirt hadn't survived your initial fall) because you doubt he'd have anything your hips would get in to. Rolling your eyes you pulled the heavy fabric across your shoulders repostioning it so that it wasnt draging on the floor to much but was still sheilding your body. 

"He's such a dad" Ciri giggled nodding in agreement befor reciting what esle geralt had requested ordered. You scoffed shaking your head

"So he doesnt even trust me to walk through a town, he does realise im an adult right? That i can do things with out causing trouble. i mean for god sake im not jaskier" she snorted 

"I think its more like he doesnt want other men trying to sleep with you" you did a double take 

"The hell you know about that sort of shit? has Jaskier been corrupting you?"

 A knowing smirk crossed her face as she held her hands up coming to a halt facing you just inside the wooden gates of the town.

"You think i havent noticed whats going on by myself, Geralt likes you so does yenn jaskiers noticed to, think he's going to write a song" 

"He better bloody not and anyway maybe i want to find a companion for the night." You announced tersely crossing your arms only to freeze as you heard a growl from behind you.

"Oh yes, i may have forgot to mention that witchers are senses are really sensetive" she smiled sweetly, you gaped why were you only being told this now. Looking between her and the others approaching.

"Wh-what how the fuck you leave that out? d-do you think he heard us? from back there" She nodded 

"Most definitely" you gulped feeling yourself shrink into Geralts cloak a little at the looks you received from Geralt and Yennefer as he spoke to her telling her what youd just said.oh fuck.

"when you say senses you mean all of 'em? Not just one or two?" hoping beyond hope that something had been lost in translation.

"Nope all of them sight, smell, hearing the whole lot" she replied watching the colour drain from your horror sticken face. You'd been getting wet over the past few days. And the realisation that he probably knew embarrassed the shit out of you. Geralt smirked obviously he heard.You were so fucked.he knew and if he knew then she knew.oh my god. You were sooo fucked.'whelp there goes my dignity' you thought. He strode past you to the mediocre stables with roach in toe ready to hitch her for the night.Jaskier and yenn followed pulling some of the bags off of the horse then passing them out to their respective owners. Geralt then stood before you all giving you all the 'game plan' as you call it.

"we will find an inn and eat after that you get settled in for the night whist i see about this contract."

"don't bother about me tonight im going to catch myself a young fair maiden for the night" you scoffed at Jaskier's announcement drawing his attention

"Sounding like a creeper there Jask, what? you gonna do throw a net in the tavern? don't think they'd take to kindly to that" he huffed through his nose aggravated. 

"No im going to sing in the tavern and lure a beauty to my side for the night" you played along widening your eyes in false realization

"oohh so your gonna go pay for it, how does it work exactly is it by hour or-" Geralt quickly intervened covering your mouth one to stop the inevitable spat and two before you could corrupt Ciri any further Jaskier deadpanned giving you a flat look.

"you're welcome to come find out for yourself im sure your just Itching  to get some relief-"

"JASKIER! you go ahead at least try to keep a bit of coin back this time" Jaskier 1 Y/n 0.

You glowered behind Geralt's hand as he dismissed the smirking bard who turned on his heel prancing off quite pleased with himself. You smacked Geralt's hand away wiping your mouth with the back of your hand before slowly making your way down the street into town.It had taken nearly half an hour to find a decent inn that had room for the four of you. A room with two double beds that had a heavy curtain to split the room into two it was usually rented by traveling families. You groaned as you walked in, now you really couldn't take care of business, you followed Ciri as she placed her bag on the bed on the left following suit you placed yours on the other half of it only to have Yennefer quickly relocated it to her side of the other bed. Ciri snorted giving you a knowing look.you sighed then stomped across the room. Knowing all to well that it was futile to argue with the sorceress ,the witcher was stubborn but she was something else. Geralt handed a small pouch of coin to Yennefer.

"This is for the new clothes Ciri needs a thicker cloak preferably fur lined maybe new boots to not sure how long those will last in the mountains." yennefer hummed as she pocketed the money. 

"And the clothes for Y/n as well?" 

"Yes, should be enough there for what we discussed if not i'v got a bit more saved" you raised your brows blinking at them.

"err what was discussed? guys? what did you talk about? was it about me? helloooo" you waved as they ignored you.Yennefer pulled off her cloak leaving it on her side of the bed. you and Ciri followed their lead only for Geralt the tug yours back across you giving a sharp look as you rolled your eyes.The group made its way down into the quiet main room of the family run inn where you were served a meal of roast beef with vegetable trimmings ,before you knew it Geralt had left to find out about the contract with a final 'Behave' thrown in your direction.To which you grunted in response,too full to even tell him to 'jog on' - a phrase that still frustrated the witcher as he didn't know the meaning-. Yennefer had asked for a bath before your meal which you were just informed was ready leaving you alone with the sorceress. You had all decided Ciri would have the bath first then you, yennefer and finally geralt if he was back before it got cold.

"I cant breath" yennefer laughed out loud you rubbed your tummy closing your eyes

"I mean honestly, I think theres food in my lungs" groaning leaning back against the chair she gave a sympathetic smile

"Well you did inhale your food, maybe next time take it easy."

"Can you blame me, been the first meat iv recognized since i got here" It was true so far you'd been living on meats that you wouldn't have necessarily chose to eat back home rabbit,mutton venison ect.

"After we've bathed we will rest for the day but tomorrow we have to run over to the seamstress and get your new clothes, not sure how long we will be here and might have to order some or have them taken up,you are a little thing.Might have to have some leather work done too." you squinted pointing an accusing finger at her

"You calling me a midget? we going for shots now are we?" she smiled sheepishly

"No .no shots?. i just meant your petite don't worry its very cute. Anyway we are only picking up the basics a few day dresses ,Riding clothes boots that sort of thing" you blinked owlishly flushing as she called you cute. 

"Riding clothes yes. Dresses no thank you" she stared unblinking at you for a few moments making you squirm at the calm expectant gaze that was getting heavier by the second, it was like the eyes of a mother when you'd been caught doing some dumb shit you knew you shouldn't be doing.

"Stop it....Yenn no... cant i just get something like Geralt has..please... i'd be much more comfortable...even Jaskier i mean im not one for the puffy bits but 'd make do....."

she blinked slowly

"Oh fine but only one or two no more and your not getting rid of these leggings either" you gave in, her gaze was to unnerving and it did things to you. Her face lit up. She was looking forward to seeing you in feminine gown instead of a her and Geralt's shirts not that she minded but it'd be a nice change to your strange stetchy leggings (not that she minded you in the form fitting bottoms) She moved leaning in to your side hand on your thigh patting it lightly.

"Thank you, don't be so worried i will take good care of everything" you gulped as you felt the flushed skin of your face grow hotter,your core clenching and warming at her sultry reply you closed your eyes trying to regain a bit of control. Suddenly her attention was drawn to a pink skinned Ciri who had finished her bath and changed Yenn nodded and released your thigh. You bolted upstairs hearing a chuckle as you did.

Once in the room you sighed in relief, making your way towards the screened off section that held a large oval tub full of steaming water. Discarding your clothes as you all but melted into the hot water.You submerged yourself getting your hair wet scratching tentatively at your scalp that had begun to ache under the grime. Spotting a small stool with what you'd consider toiletries, a bar of hard sweet smelling soap and a few vials.You grabbed the soap, opting for using it for your hair as well unsure what vials did what and went where.After scrubbing all the built up sweat and dirt you you closed your eyes lounging back against the slanted end tub you relaxed a few moments it wasn't long before you were feeling much better ,tired muscles succumbing to the soothing hot water.your body hummed. 'no one would have to know' as your summarized that this was the perfect opportunity to relieve yourself of other tensions, 

'its not like geralt could smell you under water, i mean i dont think dogs can thats why criminals cross rivers when their being hunted on tv isn't it?' biting your lip you peaked an eye open and listened out carefully feeling naughty when you began moving your hand to the apex of your thighs gasping as your finger ghosted over your hardened bundle of nerves .Fuck. Your clit was sensitive not surprising when Geralt and Yennefer had practically edged you for nearly a week. You whined quietly as you began a fast rhythm on your clit ,other hand slinking down to your opening rubbing your fingers up and down the warm weeping hole. You bit off a groan as your hips gyrated against your roaming hands. Stomach tensing as you drove yourself faster and faster to the edge.Almost there.Fuck almost-you jumped hissing 'shit' ,ripping your hands away from yourself , sitting up fast enough to make your head spin splashing a wave of water over the floor when you heard the door open slamming the wall beside it.

"err theres some one in here!" you called out loudly, angry at who ever just interrupted you.You got nervous as the heavy steps quickly made their way towards you.Realizing who ever it was didn't care for your modesty as they were coming your way you slung your top half out of the tub to grasp the towel screaming because before you could grasp it and cover yourself a large calloused hand enveloped your shoulder shoving you back into the water.

"WH-GERALT THE FUCK? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME." you shouted at him as he released you then you looked down slapping your hands down to cover your self as he raised his eyebrows and gave a lop sided grin.He defiantly looked like the big bad wolf in that moment eyes ablaze with a hunger you wasn't sure you wanted to explore or not. Collecting yourself swallowing dryly before scolding him in a voice that seemed to become smaller with each word.

"hey! get the fuck out im trying to bathe you prick" you heard the door open and close again in a less violent fashion. And suprize suprize yennefer glided into view behind the .

"Thats not all you were doing tho was it? i can fucking smell you" was growled at you as geralt wet his lips you squeaked. 

"huh? b-but.. i thought..w-water" you stuttered out as your brain malfunctioned on on an epic scale. Yennefer gave out a loud laugh.

"so thats why he tore threw the inn like that.honestly Geralt i thought something was wrong" she continued laughing as she replayed the way geralt had all but vaulted the tables to get to the stairs. you pouted throughly humiliated

"something is wrong" he ground out before kneeling beside you .Shifting you tired to create some distance from him. He was having none of that wasting no time thrusting his hands into the water tugging away your shielding hand the other forcing its way between your legs. You slammed back against the tub gasping trying to get away. All you'd achieved was his hand pinning your hips to the back of the bath by your pussy

"GERALT WHA-"  

"Lets lay down some ground rules" He squeezed your throbbing heat in his hand curling his fingers dangerously close to your opening you bucked moaning breathlessly .Your eyes searched Yennefer's for help but she wore a similar hungry look that he had. Another slow squeeze brought your attention back to the brooding alpha male in the room.

"This is ours.ours to lick,suck and fuck as we see fit, to do what we please with and is off limits to your wandering little hands we clear on that?" You groaned out as he emphasized certain words with teasing brushes of fingers and a slow rub of his palm. Realizing that he might actually be serious.You nodded quickly babbling as he rocked his hand back and forth igniting the heat that you had built alone.

"C-crystal-please Geralt PLease" You threw your head back as his hand moved deliberate and teasing.

"You think you deserve it? after being caught up here playing with yourself?" You nodded then shook your head confused, unable to really concentrate on anything apart from his magnificent hand ,half lidded eyes and clenching your fingers tight around the thumb he was using it to control your movements as your body whithered under his ministrations.

"Really?" He said smirking as he held completely still you sucked through your teeth biting back curses.He chuckled smug bastard. moving trying to get some friction to no avail.

"Well we have been teasing the poor thing ,of course shes going to try sorting herself out the first chance she gets .Honestly Geralt what did you expect? i did tell you" yennefer reasoned as she stood behind you combing threw your wet hair you before grasping your free hand pulling it up out of the way kissing your palm before ghosting her nose down your neck pressing soft kisses along it you mewled at her and tried to coax geralt to continue again by rolling your hips.

"I suppose we could let her off this time" His voice was pure sex as he glanced down before giving into pushing two thick fingers up into you. his breach of your walls had an initial sting but was incredible as your needy walls tried sucking him deeper greedy to be filled.

"oh-oh fuck Ger-please" you arched your back pushing down onto his hand clutching onto Yennefer's wrist. you were so hot .fuck.he was gonna make you cum too quick. You panted throwing your head side to side as your legs tensed then raised up towards your torso, your pussy wrapped tight around Geralts fingers as he held them deep every few thrusts making you feel just how your walls rippled around him. he alternated between fast and shallow then slow and deep trying to build you up slowly he wasn't going to rush you, he was skilled enough to walk you up to the edge and throw you off whenever he damn well pleased. You'd never been this desperate in your life . Yenn's cool fingers delicately teased out your nipples pinching and flicking them until they stood out provocatively. You rocked against the both of them as Geralt made sure to start dragging your clit up and down with his palm as he finger fucked you curling his fingers searching for that small spot that'd send your mind reeling. Yenn had leaned down kissing your cheek and begun whispering lowly into your ear.

"He knows what he's doing doesn't he?Iit wont take him long to find every single spot you have, thats the thing with bedding a witcher they are much more observant then regular men. I have no doubt he will know when your going to orgasm before you do.He has the ability to force them out of nowhere when ever he pleases.. He is quite cruel like that" you moaned out loud snapping your head back high pitched and vulgar sounds tore from your throat as Geralts invading fingers began rubbing furiously back and forth on a soft spot inside of you.Unable to control yourself as your legs and tummy spasmed erratically as your tearfull moans and pleas filled the room

"Thats it oh i think iv found it~" he boasted as he moved his elbow pinning a knee to the side of the tub leaving your clit cruelly exposed for Yennefer,they shared a look as she moved her hand down to join Geralts taking over to rub small firm circles on your exposed clit.

"oh-OH fuck noNOno i cant please i ca-UGh to-Too much please FUCK" Yennefer was quick to swallow your moans in a kiss of clashing teeth and tongues before any one could hear ,tears streamed down your face as your body ached your pussy contracting painfully around his swiping digits. Pulling back for air the sorceress placed open mouthed kisses over your shoulders leaving red marks with her teeth and sucking bites.

"Good girl your being sooo good you don't have to ask this time" she praised as she reached your ear befor sucking harshly below your jaw. you were quickly becoming putty in their hands Geralt growled as he picked up the begining tremors of your orgasm.

"Look at me" you obeyed instantly moaning as you watched the white wolf pull his lip up in a snarl that would have scared you any other time.

"This is what you were made for, your ours, we own you, mind body and soul we own every whimper ,every tear ,every orgasm and hole they are ours for the taking when ever we choose,from now only ecstasy you will know is what we give you" You'd never have guessed how filthy his mouth could be but it seemed to have the desired effect as a sudden rush of heat was your only warning before rearing up screaming out, not sure if you'd shut your eyes or blacked out for a moment as you gushed into the bath water.Geralt pressed into you persistent while Yennefer's hand continued the tight circles efficiently drawing out the best orgasm your ever had.Finally their movements ceased and your body went limp wracked trembling in the aftermath as your orgasm ebbed away slowly. After giving you a few moments to come down and catch your breath Geralt removed his fingers you whimpered inside's still so sensitive after your orgasm, sucking on them he moaned deep and feral before plucking your clenched fingers off his thumb. Yennefer quickly wiped your pussy gently clearing the cum from between your swollen lips. Making you twitched as the cloth ran over you.Pulling you from the bath was a joint effort as they rested you on the bed and began patting you dry with the towel.Moaning in protest as your arms waved loosely trying to take over only having your hand smacked away as they finished.Lying back looking up at them bleary eyed trying to stay awake you felt like jelly, giving up fighting you rolled over yawning tucking your arms below your head Yennefer tilted her head stroking your hair sending you into a relaxed sleep.

"Poor dear ,Oh look at her geralt shes all fucked out and we haven't even fucked her yet" 

"hmm she'll be ok we just need to work on her stamina" he replied patting your bottom as he pulled the cover over your washed out form.Geralt panicked

"Shit wheres Ciri?"

"well when you came charging in down stairs i told her to go find Jaskier and stay there until one of us came to get her" Yennefer said with a sly grin he shook his head and scooped her up kissing her passionately. As he took a few steps to the now vacant bath

"well the bath is still warm care to join me?"

"with pleasure lets try not to wake her tho"

.

See you soon xxx

[highfunctioningflailgirl]

My Lethal White episode 1 recap

After having had a lot of fun recapping episode 2, I went back and did episode 1 as well. It got a bit out of hand and is a loooong post...

Under the cut, because, evidently, there will be ALL THE SPOILERS! 🚨

*SQUEEEEE!!!* THEY’RE BACK!!! 🤗💃🏻🙌🏼  (Yes, I’m still squeeing, although this is a rewatch)

Let’s look at the title sequence, shall we? They’ve added a few new details: There’s the wooden cross from the dell, the White Horse of Uffington and Robin’s Houses of Parliament guest pass. The child from Billy’s memories and the pink blanket. Someone’s already mentioned the ‘whore’ swirling in the coffee cup, and then later we have a fencing icon in the pint. Cool hints. 😎

Cut to tired, head-achy Cormoran at the wedding. Strike has a slightly different haircut, and I wonder: they dye Tom’s hair darker for the role, but he has a glint of natural first grey at the temples that I’ve seen on Tom pre-Strike. How did they keep that? (Sorry about the hair kink digression…☺️)

Pet peeve of mine they carried over from Career of Evil: in the book, Donald Laing slashes Strike’s palm, but it didn’t happen in the series. There was no blood on his hand when he called Robin, and his glove was intact. And yet, Strike has his hand bandaged. I know it’s a silly pet peeve of mine, but stuff like that pulls me out of the moment. And Strike wouldn’t slap on a bandage just for a little bruising. *steps off soap box*

“You look beautiful.” - “And you look terrible.” - “It’s this jacket, needs taking in.” 😂

“I want you back.” - “What?” Augh, the double meaning of it all, Strike’s softness and Robin’s initial uncertainty of what he means. 🥺

When she realizes that Matt deleted Strike’s messages, there’s a tear spilling from her eye, and she quickly wipes it away. 😢 Such good acting. Such a brave girl.

A few of us have already addressed this in the chat: did Matt BLOCK Strike, or delete his calls and messages? Or both? They’re frustratingly unclear about this detail, and it makes a difference in terms of Strike being able to reach her or not. (I’m a continuity nerd, sorry)

Sarah standing next to Matthew. *gags*

Robin looks so beautiful! And so very sad. (Holliday is acting her heart out of this season, can’t say it enough). This is award material, hands-down. 🏆

Her look across the room at Cormoran while they’re eating! And he’s… just been staring at her all through the meal? Good god. These two.

If Cormoran falls asleep before dessert he’s got to be really, REALLY tired.☺️ Poor baby.

We’ve got to work on your fine dining skills, Cormoran darling! It’s very cowboy and rugged, handling cutlery like that, but you would SINK during an aristocracy under-cover op. Maybe the Comte de la Fère is available for a lesson?

The first chords of The Calling’s “Wherever you will go”. Ack. They really went for the original, and as someone who’s always been ridiculously in love with that cheesy song, I AM HERE FOR IT.

Cormoran walking slow-mo past the bridesmaids, looking at Robin dancing with Matt The Twat. My heart…💔

When I’m gone you’ll need love to light the shadows on your face… *sniff*

Cormoran’s FACE during the dance. I can’t. He looks like a puppy about to get shot. 🥺

(and what a juxtaposition to the little lady with the funny hat bobbing happily next to him, to everyone looking awww and being completely ignorant of the drama that’s playing out. Ugh. I’m dead.)

Matthew moves like someone who’s (painstakingly) learned exactly one (1) dance, and for their wedding only, and why is he even smiling so proudly? They must’ve just had the biggest row in history? Is he really so full of himself?

Even Robin is smiling, although staring longingly at Strike. I bet they did that so Strike would be a little mad at her and want to walk away.

AND HE DOES! 😟 You can just see the “Fuck this” from the book crossing his face as he turns around and leaves. Ack. I’m dead again.

If I could then I would, I’ll go wherever you will go

(Perfectly placed, kudos) 👏🏼

And she runs after him, looking like a fairy-tale princess. Did you see how frigging COLD it must’ve been, judging by her breath?! Poor Holliday must have been freezing to death during the shoot. And then to pull off such a heartbreaking scene…

(Also, the lawn in the park? A shitload of rolled sods. No grass looks this lusciously green in winter, and you can see the edges everywhere. Some landscaper had a field day there!)

“Are you sure?” - “Yeah. I am.” About WHAT, you idiots?! *wrings hands* To her coming back to work, of course, but there’s so much more to their statements. And I’m sure that non-book-readers thought they were about to kiss and elope, but - alas! - we know that’s not going to happen.😔

But at least we get The Hug™️, and it’s everything we hoped for: Robin crying, digging her fingers into his jacket; Cormoran closing his eyes… God help us, we are all DOOMED sailing this ship! 🙈💔

I was a little miffed upon first watching that they faded out of that hug so quickly. That was it? No, it wasn’t, as we now know, and I love, love, love that we’re getting all these extended flashbacks that reveal more and more of what happened to us!

ONE BLOODY YEAR LATER (I still can’t get over that time jump)

Lol at the subcontractor crashing his moped into the cab! It was only briefly mentioned in the book, and turning it into an actual dialogue was a fun idea.😂

And there’s Denise (that IS her, right?), completely uninterested in doing her job. Good grief - Strike and Robin are BAD a picking employees! 🙈

Robin looking not-jealous-at-all at Strike walking off with Lorelei. Ouch.

I like Lorelei, btw. They chose the actress well, and she’s nice and mature. Which doesn’t mean that I’m not secretly flinching every time she kisses Cormoran. It’s just not right.

Billy. Joseph Quinn does an incredible job playing him. 👏🏼 As dangerous as he appears at first, his despair and his efforts at holding himself together are heartbreaking. That battle he wages against his mental illness is on full display, and his scared big eyes are killing me. 🥺

Cormoran is admirably unfazed by Billy’s appearance - is that his Army training kicking in? Robin, though, is shaking but braving it out, recording with her phone although her hands are trembling. Good acting by Holliday.

Good riddance, Denise.

The good ole’ pencil trick. “I didn’t know people still did this.” 😌

I was surprised that Cormoran chose to simply break into the house on Charlemont road. It’s breaking and entering for no good reason. Could’ve been anybody’s home.

He’s not going to- EWW! He’s sitting down on that filthy couch. And plucking hairs from it. EWW!🤢

Robin: “...and some porn.” 😂 Says it as if it’s what they always find. The usual. Men… 🙄

Who’s the guy taking pictures of Cormoran? I seriously don’t remember this from the b- Oh, WAIT! Reporter guy. Patterson. Yeah. Him.

The CORE members are as cliché in their looks as are Chiswell’s upper class folks. It’s all a bit on the nose for my taste, but then clichés are clichés for a reason.

Cormoran needs to work on his disguises. Not fitting in at all with the CORE crowd, age-wise or in his look. No wonder they don’t trust him. He does it better in the books.

Oh Robin. I actually think you need a lot more therapy to work through your shit.

Ah, here we go. Seaborn bacteria. But first, Matt’s got to be a prick again. 🙄

Chiswell with his arrogance and his rudeness and his finger-snapping. *shakes head* I think if Cormoran hadn’t known he could make some serious money with this case, he may have walked out on him.

Btw, the “large” jacket is making Strike look slimmer instead of bigger. 😄 They’re so desperately mentioning Strike’s largeness, as if beating it over our heads could actually make us not see barely-6-foot and slender Tom Burke.

“Couple more potatoes wouldn’t hurt.” And his FACE! 🥰

Glenister is a really good actor. I always listen to the Strike audiobooks that he narrates, and I was worried hearing his voice in the show would be confusing, but it’s not because he sounds so different. Can’t wait for him reading “Troubled Blood” to me! 🎧

Is it a coincidence that Drummond’s art gallery has a painting of a horse in its front window? I think not.

I love that soft blue shirt they put Cormoran in. Makes him look very huggable. *blushes*

“Not sure I would make a convincing goddaughter either.”😂

So in England you can just walk up to a minister’s house and ring the doorbell without any security people stopping you? Interesting.

Chiswell just shutting the door in Cormoran’s face. RUDE.😠

The brown contact lenses. 👀 Okay, they make her look different, but not THAT different. It’s her sudden posh accent that’s the real stunner.

The panic attacks. Holliday plays them so well, I almost feel like I can’t breathe myself. 😧

I was expecting the Houses of Parliament to look a little less like a stuffy basement full of old junk. *ducks*

Barclay! Definitely looking more attractive than his description in the book. And I thought I’d gotten food at understanding Scottish. I haven’t. *turns subtitles on*

Izzy is the only Chiswell offspring who doesn’t make me want to immediately vomit.

“Venetia. Like the blinds.” Oh God. 🙈

Winn is such a creep. 🤮 Poor Robin. GET AWAY FROM HER YOU LEECH!

Of course Matt doesn’t want Robin to wear the Green Dress. Twat.🙄

The house warming party. I always wonder why Robin doesn’t have friends of her own. I have a feeling Matt has something to do with that.

The earrings. So we will see Robin finding out Matt’s cheating on her! I can’t wait for her to rip him a new one! 😈

Robin calls Cormoran - and it’s not Coco but Lorelei who picks up. That’s a smart change from the book. And it makes her the rebound girl. Which she doesn’t deserve, but it is what it is.

“And she bakes.” 🥴 Is it just me wondering how Lorelei got that cake into the tin without ruining the icing?!

Flashback to The Hug™️. God, their faces are so close. Cormoran is so soft. Nnnnhhhggggg.

Enter the plaid shirt. Lumber!Cormoran is a good look on him! 😍

The Armchair of Sadness™️. Of course that’s where the devastating phone call to Robin’s house happens! The disbelief and disappointment on Cormoran’s face is heart rending. 😢💔

@lulacat3 and I have already established the continuity error with Cormoran’s facial injuries suddenly missing when he’s reached the pub. (And they should still be there; he’s still wearing the plaid shirt from that same evening.) If I were the makeup person I would have been deeply regretful of having missed dabbing fake injuries on Tom’s face again.

The Uffington Horse. Robin’s in appropriate Wellingtons, weather jacket and a beanie for their outing. Cormoran is wearing what he always wears, and Tom clearly wishes he had a beanie. At least he gets to wear a t-shirt under his eternally blue shirts this season. REVOLUTION! 😄

Sure. Let’s just go and dig for a corpse with a shovel so conveniently available! Just the two of them - one delicate Robin and one invalid. And then Robin finds the bones after ten seconds of digging. No further comment. 🙄

But I like the change with Cormoran’s leg. As stupidly heroic as he acted in the book, I like it better in the show where he has to acknowledge his handicap and Robin takes charge.

The bones. Dun-dun-DUN!

(Good first episode, although all in all the pacing wasn’t quite right yet, and compared to the book it all felt a bit rushed. I liked episode two better.)