#IT'S CAUSE TUMBLR DESTROYED THE FORMATTING

[mamamittens]

500+ follower event!

As decided by popular vote, a food themed ask box event!

Running from 9-12-23 to 9-19-23, hopefully the menu makes sense!

Milkshake themed!

Here’s our menu for the special 500+ follower event running from 9-12-23 to 9-19-23! To enter your order, just put it in my ask box! I may suspend the ask box if I get overwhelmed, but all asks put in during this time frame are eligible for this event.

Who can go on an order? Why, you and a character of your choice as long as they are +18. Please clarify if this is a character from a specific fandom, otherwise I will assume One Piece as that’s my most active fandom at this time.

For yourself, please include a short description for your pronouns (F!, M!, GN!, AFAB, and AMAB), appearance, style, and personality. I just need a reasonable amount of information to write your stand in with. If there’s a particular quirk or detail you want focus put on, please do include it!

If I’ve written for you before, an OC may go in your place! I’m sticking to just what’s in the ask box, so if you don’t include it, I won’t know!

All I ask is that you keep it relatively simple, polite, and short since I don’t know if there’s a character limit to the ask box. Should you need multiple asks, make it clear which are yours.

If you intend to ask for a +18 order (smut), I advise you to be at least 18 as I voluntarily flag all my +18 content. In this particular context, I especially need to know AFAB/AMAB so I may write appropriately.

Flavor – Universe

Vanilla – Canon

Chocolate – Modern

Toffee – coffee shop au

Vanilla swirl – Office au

Strawberry – Fantasy

Cake – royal au

Chunks – fantasy creature au (feel free to specify who is what)

Add ins – Relationship

Caramel syrup – Childhood friends

Chocolate syrup – Strangers

Strawberry syrup – Unbalanced relationship

Fruit – Arranged marriage

Gummy candy – Enemies to lovers

Cookies – Coworkers

Flambe (on fire) – Fling

Powdered sugar – One sided crush

Toppings – Reception?

Sprinkles – Nervous

Whip cream – Confident

Cherry – Sweet

Fries - Casual

Additional shots* - Get a room!

NSFW+18 ONLY

Alcoholic shots (kinks) to be added to your milkshake or your partners! Please phrase it as “shot of X for (A)/me” to identify who receives the act. There is no limit but bear in mind a complicated order could take much longer! And some shots may interact in unusual ways, so if you have a squick please bear that in mind.

To specifically request something not be present when it is otherwise implied, please ask “to hold X”.

White Russian – Creampie/Cum play

Hot Damn – Praise kink

Mind Eraser – Degradation

Afterburner – Choking/breathplay

Jell-o shot – Edging

Pineapple Upside Down Cake – Oral

Alice in Wonderland – Size Kink

Motor Oil – Marking

Kamikaze – Temperature play (Served hot or cold for temp preferences)

Jager Bomb – Rough Sex (Extra strong is hate sex)

Green Tea shot – Soft Sex

Pink Schnapps – Dom/Sub (The person receiving this shot will be designated the ‘Sub’)

Black Jack – Restraints

Brain Hemorrhage - Overstimulation

Special side treat (totally optional!)

Mochi Ice Cream – Yandere

Vanilla – Obsessive

Red bean – Possessive

Grean tea – Delusional

Strawberry – Protective

Coffee – Manipulative

An example of an order would be as follows:

“Hi! Doffy and I would like a strawberry cake milkshake with strawberry, caramel syrup and powdered sugar (for me!). Whip cream and a cherry on top, please! A red bean mochi would also be nice! Add in an Alice in wonderland, black jack (for me), pink schnapps (also me), and a hot damn too! I go by “Sky” and I’m a short but lanky guy (masc pronouns please) with black curls, tan skin, and dark eyes. I’m nervous and tend to freeze when shocked before rambling. I blush really easily too… unfortunately.”

[atopvisenyashill]

why do you think jonsa is happening tho? jonerys is different bc they are going to be enemies, but i don’t see what jonsa does for the story

so let me first lay out roughly what i think is going to happen should jonsa become canon. I personally love going down meta and graphic spirals, so I'm including links to other people’s theories/explanations/graphics of events too - also I would like to shout out @istumpysk because half these metas and gifsets were stuff I found on their blog initially, and also was the one who really convinced me that jonsa is less of a crackship and more of a contender for an actual canon theory, and from there i really found my niche in this fandom. specifically this meta about jon being the mummer's dragon is what pulled me out of my "we're never getting twow and if we do it's just gonna be that stupid dany has jon's magical baby while tyrion watches, then they all die theory" slump and lit my brain on fire again. let's goooo:

The Ashford Tourney Theory - Something Shady goes down at the tourney Petyr has planned that requires Sansa to make a quick getaway, and likely causes her to run into Brienne while fleeing. This theory for me is about hinting at Sansa's romantic future, allies, and how she's getting the hell out of the Vale: both the dark haired, Not Targ Looking Targ Prince that is the son of A Great Prince That Never Was being her romantic endgame but also it's about Brienne (/Dunk) getting her the hell out of there and becoming Sansa's number one ally and protector (with Sansa's number two being Bronze Yohn!! But he's not fleeing with her - if he helps her get out of the Vale, it'll be to cause a distraction or a fight so Sansa can slip away unnoticed. Bronze Yohn is coming with the knights of the Vale later to help defend his girl!).

The Girl In Grey - Out of options on where to go, Sansa & Brienne makes a long, fast, and dangerous trek to the only family she knows is still alive: Jon Snow at the Wall. No, I don't think Alys Karstark is the girl in grey on a dying horse; I think she's a red herring, the same as the scene where Sweetrobin destroys the snow castle, and that the real girl in grey (who slays the savage giant) is Sansa. Melisandre says that she sees "Jon's sister" but doesn't specify more than that, or how she knows it's Jon's sister, even - why would she assume Alys is Jon's sister and not some random Northern girl? Why was she so sure that it was his sister? It's because Alys isn't the girl in grey, it's Sansa, her horse dying because she's traveled halfway across the continent with Brienne and Pod, desperately trying to keep ahead of the dozens of people hunting her down.

The Blood of Winterfell - Sansa and Jon will reclaim winterfell together. This one is similar to above; just like Alys was a red herring, the scene where Sansa rebuilds the castle has a lot of foreshadowing (imo) but that isn't the moment in the prophecy Arya hears. The Savage Giant is Littlefinger, the castle of snow is Winterfell, and Sansa is going to liberate her home alongside Jon and what's left of the Northern lords.

Stone and Snow Remains - THIS is where Sansa and Jon will fall in love while fighting for the North. This is also the part where you lose a lot of people, because they think the evidence is real weak sauce but like, I also think the Jonerys "evidence" is weak af too (and no wonder, we have at minimum 2k pages left to get through!!). There's several believed foreshadowing points to this one, bare with me for this weird ass formatting because I can't do sub bullet points on tumblr:

1. Sansa's linking of snow with love and affection - "drifting snowflakes brushed her face as light as lover’s kisses, and melted on her cheeks...She could feel the snow on her lashes, taste it on her lips. It was the taste of Winterfell. The taste of innocence. The taste of dreams." along with her snow maiden and snow knight.

2. Bael the Bard and the Rose of Winterfell - the chapter where Sansa gets her period for the first time, Cersei refers to it as “flowering” a dozen times, linking being a maiden (a young girl, not quite of age or just barely of age) to flowers and several people refer to sex as ~plucking. Also notice the one who stole her from KL is Lord BAELish.

3. Aemon the Dragonknight & Queen Naerys - Sansa compares herself to Naerys, Joffrey to Aegon, and wishes for an Aemon, among the many similarities between her life and Naerys'. Jon not only calls himself Aemon, he has a deep connection with a different Aemon Targaryen. And if you’re thinking “Sansa isn’t Naerys, X is Naerys” I would remind you that Sansa as a character existed first, George purposefully had her compare herself to Naerys, and parallels don't belong to just one character.

4. Jenny of Oldstones and The Prince of Dragonflies - there's honestly a lot of parallels between them but like the Aemon/Naerys parallel, the Jenny/Duncan one stands out to me.

5. Janos Slynt - I mean. Iconic. This was the scene that made me first think about what their relationship could be in the future and there’s a reason Jonsas fixate on it. It’s about Sansa being desperate for a hero and the hero she dreamed about being Jon the whole time. 6. Societal Alienation - There's the bastard parallels here, the "it would be so sweet to see him again", the "Winterfell belongs to my sister, Sansa." It's about how Jon, through circumstances of his birth, finds himself alienated from the rest of society and reconnects with his prim and proper sister Sansa, who finds herself alienated from the rest of society as well but for vastly different reasons.

Robb’s Will - Howland is going to show up in the North, along with Maege and Galbert, with some WILD news about why Jon can’t rule Winterfell. There’s a lot of contention around this. Bran probably shows up around this time too, and Arya gets to the Riverlands to discover Lady Stoneheart and give her the gift of mercy. This is where all the inheritance stuff is going to happen and I have no idea how it's going to go down besides it's going to be messy as all fuck.

The Pact Of Ice And Fire - Jon & Sansa get secret married bc they’re in love, not siblings, & jon is the only man she trusts not to steal her claim. This isn't the only possible foreshadowing instance of a marriage either - some believe the Sandor/Sansa scene during the Battle of the Blackwater is foreshadowing as well (personally I feel that's a bit of a stretch but I wanted to include it anyway).

Jon As An Envoy - I talked about this in my "what's Jon's ending" a little but I believe Jon will act as an envoy for either Sansa or Bran to Aegon VI, essentially playing out a similar story that he does in the show with Daenerys. By which I mean, Jon is not the King because the ruler themselves do not go as an envoy, that’s stupid and dangerous, but he goes as an ambassador for Sansa or Bran, to treat with a new claimant to the Iron Throne that is gaining support - Aegon VI & Jon Connington. They will probably clash, Jon will probably have yet another identity crisis, there had BETTER be gay incest subtext, then Aegon dies, and Jon has his sixth quarter life crisis in a row.

“King” of the Gift - again, something I touched on in my Jon meta is that I think he’s going to have a hand in resettling the Gift. Personally, I think it's likely that Jon leaves to protect the claims of his siblings (see: Duncan and Jenny) and goes to the Gift to help resettle it to keep out of the way. This ending is typically referred to as the "bael the bard" ending but i like to think of it as the "brandon's gift" ending instead - though he is not physically with his family, Jon feels fulfilled having confirmed his family loves him through reclaiming Winterfell and marrying Sansa, being reunited with Arya, and being given the Gift by Bran. Sansa claims her children were fathered by a wolf.

So…what does all this do for the story?

Well, in my opinion, several things.

I think the main barrier here is that most people in the greater fandom describe Sansa's story as ~growing past childish wants~ and Jon's as ~rejecting love~ and I do not agree with either of those takes even a little bit. This is where (imo) the dividing line between Jonsas and the rest of the fandom is. I don’t think the answer to Sansa’s question “will anyone ever marry me for love” is going to be “nah" - that's not just a sad story to me (wanting to be married isn't childish! craving intimacy and understanding isn't childish! it's also not wrong for a child to be childish!), I think the idea that Sansa (or Jon) will not find another love just doesn't line up with how George approaches his story. Who Sansa's husband will be has been such a big question, and her story is so heavy into the more romantic tropes like courtly love and chivalry and the line between politics and love and identity, that the question of Sansa's hand in marriage will be plot relevant. I also think it's kinda naive of people to pretend like George isn't very interested in the sexual dynamics of the characters he writes about (yeah, sure, no woman needs a man but "needing a man" is not what this is about. look at everything this man wrote in F&B and tell me he is going to write a female character that longs for sex and desire and doesn't get it!).

After AGOT, nearly every time Sansa thinks about marriage involves her longing for love but believing she will never get it because a man will only ever love her for her claim. Giving her a man - like Jon - who not only will not steal her claim and in fact has defended it twice over already, who will love her for who she is and not what she can give him, is a really important aspect of her story in my opinion.

As for Jon, I am even more firmly against the opinion that his story is about rejecting love; Jon’s story is about wanting to be a good man, to measure up to his father ~despite~ his bastard blood. When Aemon asks if Ned would choose honor over love and Jon stubbornly says yes, Jon is wrong and it’s important to not forget that. Ned has never once in his entire life chosen honor over love; he chooses his daughter’s life over his honor, he chooses his sister & her son’s life over honor, he chooses Arya & Nymeria over honor, and on and on!!! Ned chooses love at almost turn but none of his children know that just yet - look at Robb choosing Jeyne’s honor over his own and how upset he is at the idea that Ned would be disappointed despite the fact that Ned would have understand Robb’s decision! Jon's whole arc is tied up in realizing that it is not wrong or dirty to feel and choose love, passion, and desire and if he never has another romantic arc again, I think you lose the second part of that lesson which is "you are responsible for how you act when you feel love but that doesn't mean that simply choosing love makes you a bad person."

There's also the fact that George has talked a lot about "who lives, who dies, who gets married" and yet we have not one marriage at the end of the show AND there's not a lot of guesses at what "who gets married" means besides Jon/erys (and even if Jonsa doesn't happen, I simply do not see Jon/erys happening. they are not similar enough, they will not be in the same space for long enough, and they are on wildlly different trajectories for their story, they are not getting married let alone having sex). I think Jonsa fits that bill very well.

These various theories - from Sansa being queen, Jon living in exile, The Ashford Tourney Theory, the secret marriage, every one of them - are ideas and themes that I have really been thinking about for about 12 years now. I think Jon and Sansa's relationship could fit with the themes in their stories, the overarching themes in the books, and my own personal opinions. I think it gives George a great opportunity to delve into the courtly love aspects he enjoys so much, as well as delve into inheritance, legacy, legitimacy, honor, incest (yes, that too), and above all, what George himself has said the whole series is about - love. The human heart in conflict with itself is what I think Jon and Sansa as a romantic couple does for the series.

[strawbubbysugar]

Coming off anon for this one cuz oh boy it’s theory time and I’m feeling very silly

(I just woke up at the time of writing so sorry for any typos, rambling, or confusion lol)

Alright! So, I’ve been thinking a lot about the existence of Eclipse and the theories popping up about them lately mainly: that Clipsey is a recycle of Moon’s broken body. Which I’ll touch up on first.

The issue that was presented with Moon by this definitely-not-at-all-suspicious engineer was that his processing unit was smashed and ‘unsalvageable’ (which we know to not be true), and aside from the obvious injuries cause by Trap, no major problems with Moon’s case are brought up. His *internals* were destroyed, aside from his battery which was reused.

Continuing forward, the SOMA comparisons. Reading through a plot synopsis of the game, I can’t help but link the destruction of Moon-man’s processing unit and Simon’s brain injury together a bit. Considering that that is the partial cause for Sun and Moon combining and the reason for Simon getting his brain scan copy. Both undergoing heavy ‘brain’ damaging and being brought to very odd circumstances because of it.

With the assumption that this is *actually* Moon’s body, “Uploaded into a modified corpse” is a *very* apt description for what Eclipse is. They’re a copy of someone (two people technically) inhabiting the dead body of the original, almost like Pry/ncess in a weird way.

That’s where the comparisons for the game and Bethroned end to my knowledge however, so time to move onto the more ‘looking too far into things’ section of my theory,

The design and color scheme!

Starting off, I noticed that the coloring of the Sun side on their face was reused from *post incident* which makes sense, that’s how Sun would’ve been seen last before running away with Pry/ncess, the eyes obviously match up as well.

Though the tops of the rays have noticeably sharper points to them if that’s anything at all, it’s impossible to draw the something the same way every single time after all so that can be easily written off.

The same can be said for Moon as well, the coloring of his face matches up with theirs, however his other features are… very much not intact. Very close but not quite.

The coloring and patterning of the hat is entirely different, the cape maintains the same coloring but the stars on Eclipse’s are much smaller and more faded than Moon’s as well.

What’s throwing me off though is the eyes, for both post incident and for Eclipse the right eye gained a black sclera, Moon’s pupil turned white, but Eclipse’s stayed red.

If Eclipses body was Moon’s then this could’ve happened naturally, the eye could’ve simply underwent the same damage/change as it did with Moon’s form in Sun’s body. Though do to this being his actual form the pupil could’ve kept its regular eye color.

Their lack of a mouth could also mean that they can’t speak, another drastic contrast in characterization to our boys. From the artwork we’ve been shone of them they see, cunning, clever, but very, VERY distressed. (Be a bit weird to consciously design eye-bags on your new king after all, right? That’s their own fault.)

And for my last point, their crown and the Opal.

This is the most obvious ‘combination’ in their design, it gets the rounded bottom of Sun’s and the gem formation and top shape of Moon’s. When overlayed on top of each other you also get similar colors to Eclipse’s crown, though more cleaned up and appealing on the eyes.

The gem in this crown has been confirmed to be an opal (if my memory serves me right I can’t find the post anywhere to confirm, tumblr search engine is bleh)

There were a few pieces of folklore and symbolism relating to the opal that I found particularly interesting with what little we know about Eclipse.

Mainly, it representing loyalty and goodluck as well as royalty. A lot of other interpretations I found pointed to it granting foresight and being responsible for prophecy, something you’d certainly want your king to have after the huge string of ‘bad luck’ that befell both of them.

Loyalty to prevent another incident like Sun choosing Pry/ncess over his kingdom and trusting them first, foresight and prophecy so that they can avoid incident like King Freddy dying and, well, Sun and Moon’s incident. and royalty is obvious.

Though the loyalty interpretation and foresight/intelligence can vary widely in intention depending on if Chica or PeePaw (maybe both, stares at Trap) is responsible for their existence. Cant speak that much on it before they’ve even appeared in the story.

Alright so what am I getting at with all this? Well, put simply, Eclipse’s design and name are very very intentional and combining the Princes was clearly in mind when they were (re)built by whoever their creator is. I believe that they attempted to program, be it from scratch with parts of Moon’s processor or with some kind of backup of Sun *somehow*, Sun into Moon’s body and combine their ai together in order to make a new heir.

Again, can’t find the message, but Eclipse’s existence was described as ‘decidedly uncomfortable’ which is very understandable if this were true, having you and your brother’s brain and memories COMPLETELY sewn together, not even with semi separate minds or personalities like with the actual Sun and Moon, would be very, VERY lacking in the ‘good for your mental health’ department, especially if you knew you aren’t the original ‘you’, just a clone, a do-over, a combination of two other failures that you need to clean the mess from up.

Put simply, I believe Eclipse is a combination of Sun and Moon, but not THE combination of Sun and Moon. If that makes any sense. They’re a replication of both placed inside Moon’s old body and used to fill the empty spot on the throne and potentially-maybe-hopefully-not help Afton.

Hands down my favourite ask ever. Like oh my god you did it. You got everything. You caught all the little secrets I put in and I’m flabbergasted. WOW. I AM. SO HAPPY HSFSG

THANK YOU FOR PUTTING SO SO SO MUCH TIME AND EFFORT AND ENERGY INTO THIS ANALYSIS BECAUSE I JUST. I MIGHT CRY. THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME SOBS :;;

[calcahro]

[WUTHERING WAVES LORE GUIDE]

Explaining Resonators Part 2 - Resonance Spectrum Patterns

This is my first time using Tumblr, please bare with my posting habits lol. I decided to make one of my Twitter threads into a format suitable for Tumblr, Instagram and Tiktok.

IMAGE TEXT:

I. RESONANCE EVALUATION REPORTS

This portion details a Resonator's Forte, provides information regarding the circumstances of their Awakenings, Tacet Mark, Resonance Spectrum Patterns, and the Rabelle's Curve used to classify them.

IA. Resonance Spectrum Patterns

Again, Resonators are defined as: Individuals with the ability to resonate with certain objects and manipulate their frequencies.

They end up having Resonance Spectrum Patterns that align with the spectrum patterns of other things in existence, synotizing (being in resonance, in tune with) with these patterns explains their Fortes.

Examples from some Forte Examination Reports:

Aalto's RSP matches the pattern of fog.

Fog -> Mist -> Air -> Aero attribute, ‘the ability to manipulate airflow’.

Yangyang’s RSP matches airflow and bird species.

Airflow and Birds → Air → Aero attribute, ‘the ability to manipulate airflow’.

Mortefi's RSP matches the pattern of the extinct Dragonkin species.

Dragons → Fire -> Fusion attribute, ‘the ability to ignite’.

Danjin's RSP matches human blood, and she uses her own.

Hence 'destroying' or 'harming' herself -> Havoc attribute, ‘the ability to annihilate’.

Sanhua's RSP matches snow and Tacet Discord (you should read her developer notes and stories for more on the blizzard caused by Waveworn Phenomenon!)

Surviving blizzard caused by Waveworn Phenomenon -> frequency erosions -> Glacio attribute, ‘the ability to cool down and freeze’.

———

Click to go to Part 1

Click to go to Part 3

[peacocks-pantomime]

In an empty theatre, teardrops echo like the sound of applause.

All I do is lay down a bet~ It’s out of my control if my opponent decides to lay down their life, isn’t it?

After the chaos, not much was left of Sigonia-IV, yet there were two malnourished children-- Kakavasha and his Big Sis, nearly perishing from the elements on the ruined planet.

One day, there was finally salvation in the form of a light-- a light, and a beautiful woman dressed in elegant clothing peering down at them under a wide-brimmed hat.

She told them that they would be safe, that they could trust her-- and what other option did they have? She looked so different, and seemed so kind compared to the others that have mistreated them... Big Sis had been willing to give her a chance.

And so, Kakavasha was whisked away to another world, offered clean clothes and a room of his own. He fell asleep immediately, curling up on the soft carpet of the floor.

When he awoke, his Big Sis wasn't there. But they said she would be. They told him she would be. So he wanders through the strange building against his better judgement.

It wasn't long before he heard muffled words coming from the ajar door of a bright room. He snuck over to peek into the room and he saw people dressed in simplistic black clothing, taking notes on some sort of devices and huddled around a bed.

And on the bed lay the body of his dead sister. But those people would never acknowledge her as such; to them she was only an experiment. One of the last Sigonians of the Avgin race, a miraculous discovery. And they weren't going to tell him. They were going to hide it from him.

Blinded by the emotions swirling around inside of him, Kakavasha threw himself through the doorway, grabbing the first sharp tool in sight, and ended the lives of all the professionals in that wretched room one by one.

He'd cried the whole time. He couldn't identify the emotion the tears stemmed from-- whether from sadness at the loss of his sister, or from the rage burning bright-- but as the boy stood there, he dropped his weapon, wrapping his arms around himself in horror...

He didn't feel guilty for what he'd done.

That sort of control-- the ability to watch the life of another mortal slip away between his fingers and know that he was the cause...

It was empowering.

Notes from the moderator:

~ Mod also runs the @aventurine-official rp account, so the format is her own and is not plagiarized :)

~ Art (2nd top picture and pfp) and concept credit goes to @day-night-darlix! Their original post is here

~ This Aventurine exists in the same universe as @the-truth-of-nothingness

A famous musical artist and actor, known for masking his true self.

Roams around Penacony but travels the cosmos to perform

Is quite sadistic and will bet others on their life-- resulting in their death, because he never loses.

Longs to destroy the IPC as vengeance for the lies and betrayal from which his sister suffered

The glistening teardrop hanging around his neck allows him to mesmerize others with a glance, if he so wishes-- the glow of his eyes is interconnected

(I might add more details later, or link a headcanon post!)

Guidelines:

~ Keep the asks sfw if you please, suggestive is okay!

~ No random links in asks unless they are links to other Tumblr posts (if they are there, please specify what they are)

~ Be kind, please. Any hateful comments related but not limited to racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, ageism and transphobia will not be tolerated here and you may be blocked.

~ All ships (age-appropriate) are welcome. (I personally believe Aventurine is gay as hell, so he will have a noticeable interest in men versus women).

~ Try to avoid sending DMs to the mod unless you are another mod

~ Anons are more than welcome here! You may have a personalized tag and everything :)

List of current anon signoffs here

Key (if applicable):

" " : for dialogue

* * : for movements

( ) : ooc

Tags:

#ace of spades ♠️ : Art reblogs

#the flip of a coin 🪙 : Random thoughts and calm moments

#trump card 🃏 : Asks from anons and others

#life on the line 🎲 : Interactions with Honkai Star Rail blogs

#melancholy theatre 🎭 : Interactions with other members of the Masked Fools

#a warning spark 🎆 : Interactions with /mentions of Flare (a lovely mutual’s oc!)

#dear doctor 🍷 : Interactions with / mentions of the Veritas Ratio in his universe

Masterlist post of Honkai Star Rail-official blogs linked here

[diadianne]

Post-war Levi ramble + just thoughts in general

I've never posted on Tumblr, so forgive me if this looks weirdly formatted. These are just my thoughts after seeing the little interview Isayama did.

This was mostly sparked by the answer that the Ackermans lost their power, which is somewhat of a bummer to me, but I understand why it happened. I just dislike it when characters lose their powers at the end. Let me clarify: This is not a critique of the show because this show has literally been my obsession for the past year, lol.

Anyway, I got inspired to write this because I saw some people saying that the Ackermans were free from their powers and could be normal humans and therefore happier. I disagree with this because of my opinions on AOT post-war/rumbling.

I do not think Levi lived a happy life post-war/rumbling.

Mental Health

I've had a huge interest in mental health (for whatever reason) since I was younger and, with my past obsession (Modern Warfare II), I got really into learning about veterans, PTSD, etc. I've given presentations and done a lot of research on the topic. But, even without that knowledge, it's very easy to see that Levi has lived a very difficult life, to put it nicely.

I struggle to think that any of the remaining scouts (+ Annie) lived a decent life after. I can hardly imagine the guilt everyone felt after the rumbling. Billions of people died. Not hundreds, not thousands, not millions, billions! Innocent people, children...

Genuinely, how could someone live with that?

Of course, they didn't do it themselves, but there still are some difficult feelings alongside Eren's actions. Someone who was once a comrade/friend.

Levi has completed his purpose. Everyone who fought for the Scouts, who gave their life for the cause, made it possible for this. For Eren to destroy 80% of humanity. Just kidding, but there has to be the question of "Was it worth it? Was all the death worth it?"

"I've saved Eren's life over and over. Many of my comrades died each time. And, this is where that belief has gotten me. It's like some awful joke. Just what was that hope did we look forward to? All that hardship leads to this farce?"

Levi is questioning it all after having his hand forced to kill more of his comrades who had been turned into Titans. Even without Eren being their "hope" anymore, there was a purpose to stop Eren, a purpose to get revenge for Erwin, a purpose to protect his friends/comrades, etc.

I suppose I'm just genuinely wondering how someone could live with that level of guilt and loss. He lost everyone that really knew him. I think it is nice he stays (or at least is not alone) with Gabi, Falco, and Onyankopon, but that will never be the same as Erwin or Hange.

He went from having such a hard, busy, and difficult life to that all being done with. I think as wonderful as it sounds, it is probably hard to cope with that change. There are no more distractions.

Loss of Powers

I think Levi prides himself on being useful and strong because he had to be his whole life. He was "taken care of" by Kenny for a bit. Kenny, as seen, was very power-hungry and I am certain he definitely pushed those ideas onto Levi. Not saying that Levi is power-hungry, but maybe it pushed him to value his strength a lot. He had to be strong.

"Stay in bed? If I lie down any longer, you shits are gonna forget all about me."

I am sure more scenes would give examples of this, but I am going to stick with this one. In short, I believe that Levi, who has always been valued for his strength, would have a difficult time living with his new "weakness," especially with his leg damaged, lack of eye, and two missing fingers.

Post-war Climate

Yeah, sure. "Peace." The ending shows that there were still tensions, therefore war, and then death. A repeating cycle of hate. I mean, killing 80% of humanity? It was 1000000% easier to call the Eldians devils. Now, those devils have no power or "threats" to keep others away. The tensions inside of Paradis must have been insane as well.

Even if the destruction of Paradis happened 80-100 years after the rumbling (I'm not sure of the actual time), I doubt with every fiber of my being that things were just "chill" after the rumbling.

So... no, I doubt he lived a peaceful life. A peaceful life where tensions are high with the remaining bits of humanity, the world, and many of its resources, culture, and history are destroyed, and he is unable to do anything about it.

As an American, I relate it to the experience of being a citizen. It genuinely feels like watching something go horribly wrong but you cannot do anything about it because you're too exhausted trying to keep yourself alive and well. But, this is a rant about post-war AOT so I'm not going to go into American politics/issues lol.

I shortened my thoughts a bit because I get way too into topics. I hope this doesn't come out jumbled and makes some sense. I definitely need to rewatch season 4 (I just keep stopping after three because it makes me sad lol).

I want Levi to live a peaceful and happy life, but, in my personal opinion, I do not believe he did or could. If he did, he definitely has the title of "Humanity's Strongest" for a reason.

[melishade]

I remember you said we'd see some of the trials Eren would have to endure at the hands of the Primes, but you wouldn't go into much depth on that. So will we see him in an OVA or as part of a series of Tumblr posts? If so, does that mean the last we saw of Eren in the main story was that scene in The Paths?

So personally, I don't have the energy to write a full OVA on Eren's trial. Not to mention, I'm not sure it would gain much traction considering his role in AOP is officially over. He won't appear in the finale other than by name. The trials will just be a series of Tumblr post at this point. If anyone wants to really tackle these ideas and write it in full, go for it. I will not stop you. Just say the idea came from me. That's all.

That being said, I will put the set up for the beginning of Eren's trials.

Eren wakes up and he doesn't know exactly where he is. He's in a foggy space, lying atop of a reflective floor. Someone calls his name, and he tenses at the sight of a white metal being looking down at him with contempt holding the Star Saber, which immediately scares Eren. Eren wants to know who he is, and he introduces himself as Prima: the First Prime.

Eren's fear turns into contempt himself, demanding to know where Primus is. Prima rolls his optics, stating that Eren feared Primus and that the deity not being here was a mercy to him. Eren demands to know where Primus is, but Prima replies that he's busy. Eren starts to get bold, demanding to know where the hell he is and why. Eren would probably say some kind of insult directed at Primus, causing Prima to stab the saber into the reflective floor, causing it to crack and Eren to step back.

Prima reminds Eren of his place and his crimes. How he tried to commit genocide, killed his friends and his people in his selfish desires. Many of the Primes wanted him dead, his soul destroyed forever, or hell, even give it to Unicron. But Primus' compassion is allowing him to stand here right now. Primus intends to grant him reincarnation, but it's the Primes that get to decide how Eren earns the chance to be reborn. So they've all agreed to give him trials.

The fog blows around Eren and Prima, and Eren is suddenly met with the rest of the Primes sitting on high rock formations behind him with all of their weapons intact. Eren is extremely fearful at how they are all looking at him, especially Onyx and Megatronus, who look ready to tear him to pieces.

Prima states Eren that if he wants to achieve reincarnation, then he is going to have to pass all 13 challenges each of the Primes have set up for his trial. Eren is thinking it being 13 trials is a twisted joke on the power of the titans. Eren demands to know what will happen if he refuses. Prima answers him by stating that his souls will not qualify for reincarnation and will be destroyed because of his actions. Eren knows that he has little to no choice in the matter, and the fact that Primus is allowing him a chance at a life of freedom at all is more mercy than he ever deserved. He knew that. And the only way to win and gain his freedom was to fight.

Eren accepts their challenge, and Eren can't help but feel unnerved as a few of the Primes smirk in delight at Eren's decision. Prima tells Eren the basics: if he fails a trial, he will be forced to repeat it over and over again until he makes the right choice and pass to the next trial. Eren will be given a general idea of what the trial is before he starts, but he must find out the answer on his own. Eren nods in understanding, and Prima orders Vector to send him to his first trial: Prima's trial.

Eren takes one more look at the Primes, and notices something. Prima said that each of the Primes would be giving him a trial, but there were only 12 primes. Where was the last Prime? Eren yelps as Vector opens a portal under him and he is dropped into his first trial.

Now the idea going forward is that Eren's trials by each Prime are how they are listed in the Covenant of Primus. So the order of the trials are created by:

Prima Vector Alpha Trion Solus Micronus Alchemist Nexus Onyx Amalgamous Quintus Liege Maximo Megatronus And The Thirteenth Prime

And the trials are supposed to challenge Eren's ideologies, actions, or just straight up torture him in order to get him to pass. The farther he goes, the more challenging it gets. In the beginning, it's supposed to be more generalized. Near the end, it's supposed to get more personal.

For example, Vector's trial, being the Prime of Time, would demand Eren to actually attempt any and all avenues of peace before coming to the decision of the Rumbling. Vector knows full well that the Rumbling is a fixed point in some cases, but it was Eren's lack of an attempt to really try and change those outcomes because he slowly began to desire it himself. So Vector really wants Eren to try and strive for peace, so when he gets to the point of the Rumbling, the decision would weigh heavily on his heart.

Meanwhile, Megatronus' trial, despite being a Prime known for his anger and also dubbed "The Fallen", would want Eren to confront Mikasa. It's a subversion of expectation. But in the Covenant of Primus, Megatronus feels extremely guilty about killing Solus, because he loved her, and thus exiles himself from the planet for his guilt. So Megatronus would force Eren to confront the person who loved him so much but disavowed him. He would force Eren to recognize her wants and needs if Eren claimed to have truly loved her, because it's something that I think Megatronus would feel guilty over not doing with Solus.

The final trial, is the Thirteenth Prime: Optimus Prime. Eren has to confront Optimus, the one who he considered a father, the one who he betrayed, and the one he forced to take his life. The Primes do this not just for Eren, but for Optimus to make peace with himself. Because eons might have passed, but he still feels guilty for ending Eren's life.

This portion of the story would probably be 13 or 14 chapters. One for each Prime, and then a final one to show the results of Eren completing his trials where Primus is waiting for him at the end of the road, wearing Optimus' holoform.

[k-looking-glass-house]

... And I promised myself to never let anyone here on tumblr witness my fangirl side....

*I am so stoopid* hugh.... I am just a frenchy... Huuuh~

.... How about some lore about Draconia's family and Lilia

I know.... The ship is sailing for them lol. I don't mind, buuuut....

I see them as sibling actually, raised together. I mean it, Malenoire being an only child surrounded by nobility... She must be thrilled to have a sibling *to torment* let alone a friend.

▪️They're evil together, I think Levan is the quiet soft one in their trio.

▪️Lilia taught Malenoire accidently bad words... Accidently or not..... Making the maids scolded him. Malenoire later taught those words to Levan....

▪️They fight and keep bickering with each other... Until Malenoire destroys everything, internaly cries and falls asleep. That's a dragon princess for you.

▪️Lilia has a duty as a knight/soldier/bodyguard (and is serious about it) , but Malenoire only wants to play and have fun, messing and fooling around. Putting Lilia into difficult situation each time they're involved.

▪️He doesn't care about princess treatment or her royal statut, and calls her "ugly", "lezard", "crazy evil".... *Ahhh having sibling is all time something*. And Malenoire calls him "cute", "little one" or "hmmphh". They caused serious headhache to Queen Maleficia and castle's maids and guards.

▪️She spies an his training, practices magic with him. Actually test her magic on him ah ah. Beats him easily and tells him that she'll be the one to protect him and everyone here.

▪️If Lilia has a crush on someone it's definitely on our dear queen Maleficia. Malenoire giving him the "I know" bombastic side eye, don't touch my mother she's mine only, I don't share *hissing*.

▪️If Malenoire tries on "girlie" clothes, Lilia would be grossed out by it, laughing and mocking her, telling her a witch can't wear princess cutie dress. Making her put the dress on him out of anger.

He's just lost at word for her and doesn't want to adknowledge that it fits her or she looks cute. He has his pride. Levan is the one who makes heartful sincere compliments. Turning the scene into cheesy shojo cliche.

▪️Sometimes they're arguing too much that they stop talking for month. Making their kingdom felt into storm, thunder and rainy mood. Until Lilia apologizes since a dragon never apologizes, making him suffering from that princess dictature *in a good way*.

▪️He would protect her at all cost, taking blame/pain/etc is nothing as long she's safe and sound.

▪️Levan is the sibling/friend everyone wants, making dark fairies wonder about him being also a dark one. He's kind, polite and just.... Like a little ray of moonlight.

▪️Lilia is actually pissed off when Malenoire is acting all lovey dovey and monopolizing Levan.

▪️Malenoire is taller than Lilia but never mocked him about his size. Actually Lilia can use a grown up apparence but since Malenoire told him something about it, he kept a "compact waifu format".

▪️Lilia helps Queen Maleficia to take care of her roses garden and even went to merchant exotic products, to bring back some seeds from The Queendom of Roses.

.... And that's all... More or less oh oh oh....

[doctorwhoisadhd]

rough demo of a ianto song i wrote (really its a jack/ianto duet) bc children of earth destroyed me forever!!!! use headphones for the best experience, the two vocal parts are panned hard L/R respectively (i made the two parts sound as distinct as possible timbre-wise but i only have one voice lol - jack's the first, higher part, ianto is the second, lower one, but a lot of the lyrics are pulled from dialogue so it shouldnt be difficult to tell who's who)

lyrics here cause formatting on tumblr sucks

[fattocatto-wizard]

Ok, imagine the Disaster Lineage all end up being sent to the same place, pulled from their respective time periods.

Three groups:

1. early point DL: we’re talking young Padawan Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and Ashoka, (As in Tales of Jedi, Ep 1, and CW movie) Dooku as from Tales of Jedi pre-murder, beginning of ANH Luke and Leia, Jakku scrapper Rey, and idk pre-ep 1 Yoda.

2. Mid-point DL: this is Ep. 5 Yoda, Ep 3 Dooku, Ep 1 Qui-Gon, Season 6 (pre-temple bombing) CW Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ashoka, soon after Ep 6. Luke and Leia, and idk. Ep. 9-ish Rey?

3. End-point DL: this is force ghost Yoda, Dooku from when he was about to die, force ghost Qui-Gon, Old Ben Kenobi, Ep 6. redeemed Darth Vader, old Ahsoka the white, Old Sassy Uncle Luke, Ep 8. Leia, and idk 52 yr old grandmaster Rey cause f*** it.

This assumes that they are all in a decent state and not going to die, won’t immediately attack each other and will probably talk (somewhat) reasonably, and the force ghosts are temporarily given a physical form again.

Let’s assume that after they interact, they each are sent back to their time period, and can act on this information. Each group is a separate scenario btw.

Also, sorry for the poor formatting, I’m a little dumb and new to tumblr.

And yes, I know it would be a complete and mess and the interactions would get insane

“You’re meaning to tell me that you’re my son, and I turn evil, and I fight my best friend/father figure and apprentice, and then I get redeemed at the last second and get blown up in a giant fiery explosion in a planet destroying space station? Wow, well that’s one hell of a life. Im gonna go be angsty in the corner now.”

“Who is this sassy, lost child?” (Points to Ahsoka)

“I feel like I’m missing something here. Am I even supposed to be here?” (Rey)

“Confusing, this is…”

Edit: sorry, I forgot Leia and scuffed up some time travel shenanigans.

[floral-triptych]

My name is Ruan Mei. When saying my name, please don't run the syllables together.

You don't have to listen hard to hear the gossip about me coming from the Genius Society — Mad scientist. I'll take it as a compliment.

I am Ruan Mei, number 81 of the Genius Society, one of the developers of the Simulated Universe.

My expertise lies in biology and in unrooting the origin of life itself. Life is... complex, isn't it? Many other organisms seem to have been blessed with such a gift, the gift of life, such as the plants, the animals and insects... and yet, it seems that life is wasted on humans.

We are in no means worthy of the beauty and intricacies of life, and unfortunately most of us find ourselves a state where we do not realize how lucky we are to live. Some of us even wish death upon ourselves... a foolish choice, to waste the gift of life, but I suppose those emotions do have worthy causes sometimes.

Life is far more difficult to create than it is to destroy.

Notes from the moderator:

Mod also runs the @aventurine-official rp account, so the format is her own and is not plagiarized :)

Guidelines:

~ Keep the asks sfw if you please, suggestive is okay!

~ No random links in asks unless they are links to other Tumblr posts (if they are there, please specify what they are)

~ Be kind, please. Any hateful comments related but not limited to racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, ageism and transphobia will not be tolerated here and you may be blocked.

~ I headcanon Ruan Mei as being aroace, but if you would like to offer a ship, I’m fine to discuss it

~ Try to avoid sending DMs to the mod unless you are another mod

~ Anons are more than welcome here! You may have a personalized tag and everything :)

List of current anon signoffs here

Key (if applicable):

" " : for dialogue

* * : for movements

( ) : ooc

Tags:

#in all life does flow 🌸: Art reblogs

#a cup of tea 🍵 : Random thoughts and calm moments

#research case 📁 : Asks from anons and others

#a study of life 🍃 : Interactions with Honkai Star Rail blogs

#by the grace of nous ☁️ : Interactions with other members of the Genius Society

#madam herta 🪻 : Interactions with / mentions of Herta

#blockhead 🗿 : Interactions with / mentions of Dr. Ratio

#beloved sibling 🥀 : Interactions with / mentions of Ruan Lian (a lovely mod's oc!)

Masterlist post of Honkai Star Rail-official blogs linked here

[mistymeow69]

Hey guys. Thought I should make one last post before I depart!

In short, I'm not necessarily leaving tumblr, but I'm leaving the radqueer community, which this blog was originally used for.

I will have another one, but I'm not going to share it. I'd like to forget about everything that happened on here.

I recognize I made so many wrongdoings on here, and I regret them deeply. I want to grow and move on as a person from the things I interacted with and supported. I want to laugh at this in the future.

I joined some horrible communities, I stood alongside people who defended things like ped/ophi/lia and inc/est and convinced me it was all normal. I even started darkshipping again, which has been something I've been desperately trying to pull away from for so long, I know it's wrong but I keep going back to it. With the people on here telling me that not only was it fine, it was fine in real life too, they only made the situation worse.

I still identify as profiction. But through my experiences, I am aware of the damage consuming that kind of media can cause to you. I always told myself I would never support those things in real life, and yet, one thing led to another, and I was defending them too. I am profic as in I can just click off of fiction if I don't like it, since it's not real. I now have the maturity to do so, unlike before.

I am so, incredibly lucky that I did not fall victim to gro/oming or anything of the sort during my time here. My heart goes out to all of those who weren't as fortunate as me, and I'm sorry for standing alongside your abu/sers.

I guess I just really wanted a community. I still identify as transrace, and support some specific transids. But I'm going to keep that part of me hidden from now on. Because if this is what the community has exposed me to, maybe it would be better to keep those things to myself and the people closest to me.

I'm not going to pretend like I'm entirely a victim. I do believe making this account was a mistake, and the people who promoted those things should be held accountable, but I too was exposing myself to them. I did not take breaks. I kept interacting and falling deeper and deeper into the hole of the radqueer community. Eventually it just went too far.

The only reason I came here in the first place was because I just wanted a community of transrace people. It made me feel less alone, it had a nice format and there were so many people just like me. So, I felt inclined to support those I did not understand, just like how I wanted to be supported. But I should've listened to my common sense.

I mean, I even got called a terf on here for saying people shouldn't identify as transst/alked and things like that. That should've been my sign that, well, to put it bluntly, a lot of you are crazy.

I am underage and should not have been interacting with 18+ communities. And I especially should not have been supporting such harmful ones. I regret letting people tell me their disgusting fantasies and then convincing myself it was okay.

This app really messed me up for a while, honestly. I felt like preda/tors were oppressed. I felt like it was fine for people to identify as anything. I felt like discussions between zooph/iles and what animals they wanted to abu/se were normal. I even tried to force myself to be part of those communities.

I'm honestly glad this app gave me perspective. But I'm more glad that I'm leaving. I'm sorry if this makes no sense and is poorly worded.. If you are struggling with mental health and intrusive thoughts, please seek out help, whether it be through confiding in a friend, talking to a crisis hotline, getting into therapy, or even admitting yourself to a mental hospital. There's nothing shameful about it. You are not alone. But the communities you think are supporting you are only bringing you down.

Don't do something you'll regret. Don't destroy yourself. It's not too late. Your feelings are not your fault, you do not have to view paraph/ilias as a quirk in order to accept yourself. Because you did not choose to be this way. Again, there's no shame in seeking help. It's the best thing you can do, to cause the least harm to yourself and others.

I really wish this community hadn't been so horrible. I felt so great for a while. I finally felt like I wasn't alone. But it just went too far. And now I have to start all over, I don't know if I'll ever be able to accept myself as transrace again, if this is what it's associated with. But I know I will NEVER join the radqueer community again. I will not harass people in it, because I am a normal human being. But I will never support this again.

Thank you guys for being patient, and to those who were kind to me along the way. But this is not the path for me. And it shouldn't be for you either. I can't make you do anything, but please, reconsider what you're doing and what you're promoting. Think about why some of these things are taboo.

I'm not very active on tumblr, so I'm not actually sure how to do this. I don't know if I'll delete the account, or if I'll just log out forever. I might change my username too, I don't want to be associated with this anymore. I want to live like a normal person again.

Again, I can't apologize enough to those who are victims or were harmed by the things I supported. I know I only made the problem worse, but I'm going to try to undo it the best I can. The only way I know how is by leaving, bettering myself, and preventing others from making the same mistakes as me, especially other minors.

That's all. Thank you for listening. Goodbye, everyone.

[solar-tl-27]

Solar, what is your idea to make Zenith more important in history? And is your hand good now?

My hand's good! Skins almost complete baxk to normal & no more pain i'm also not sick anymore but sadly busy with the holidays and I can feel the winx hyperfixation drifting away 😅 so haven't checked Tumblr as often.

Now onto zenith💅✨✨

I don't have my notes with me so i can't check the exact ranking but. Zenith's magic levels used to be exceptionally high, very close to the magical concentration of domino, which is the embodiment of the dragon's head. Zenith's shares a lot of similarities to earth's magic in my version, with it both having the magic strongly infused in its people.

Where earth's magic was cast aside for the inequality in numbers of magic users, zenith went a more... Drastic approach. To heighten their technological developments, they concentrated a lot of their magic into the crystal formation of their world. Basically making magic batteries, however this showed to cause a lot of strain to Zenith's magic users. Luckily they found that a lot of wild magic could also create such batteries and they eventually started relying more on that than their actual magic.

Over time with Zenith's technology people basically just grew out of magic naturally the only magical being they needed was their king.

However catastrophe struck with the wild magic's containment being disrupted and most of the old zenith being destroyed or inhabitable in its current state.

And so new zenith was formed. A realm with barely any magic left, basically turning into worshippers of their king who was still a direct link to magic.

Then skip forward to today's zenith.. about 200 years later

The current senator sitting on a huge secret that none of zenith knows now having to deal with a guardian fairy that reawakened the old magic of the omega portal and now the 3 pillars of the infinite ocean under attack. All while the faith of the people in their magical king is just a phony ruse told for generations. (Aka cryos being closer to a clone/ decent of the old king & not some ancient guy)

I’m adjusting the lore a bit to make the pillars be designed by old zenith, both strengthening their important and giving them an explanation. This will help me add more build up to the season and have a way to incorporate more of zenith into this season to space it out better and adjust tritanuss’s motives to help with the structure of the season.

Which I’m still working on

It can show more of how the magic is corrupting him & lays more attention on Layla & tecna for the season instead of miss dragonFLAME (no offense bloom)

Mostly expanding out to better find the center

To better flesh out the world!

That’s the basic history & motives of zenith

[dude1818]

Hold on, how come I haven’t seen any Tumblr posts about the timeline discrepancies in G Witch? The original gundam research facility was destroyed 21 years ago (in the year A.S. 101 according to the gundam wiki), on Eri’s fourth birthday. In the present day, A.S. 122, Suletta arrives at the school, age 17. Those aren’t the same number

While googling this, I saw an article pointing out that when one of the earth house girls did some sort of I Ching reading for Suletta and asked about her sibling, she had no idea about one. So we know Suletta isn’t Eri, and doesn’t know about Eri

Using actual science, my assumption for most of the season so far was that the reason Suletta was able to use the GUND format without any ill-effects was because she had been practicing it since she was 4. Children’s neuroplasticity should be more than enough to develop the resilience for the deep interface with the gundams that caused brain blasts for the adult users

I was definitely not expecting Prospera to go full Shou Tucker on the gundam tech, and turn Eri into a gundam. But crucially, she does always describe Suletta and Aerial as “[her] two daughters”

[kyluxtrashpit]

So I’m having another… let’s call it an internet crisis. A thing that typically happens when I have Big Problems I can’t do fuck all about which means now it’s time to get Really Upset about problems that are comparatively small but do affect my daily routine (sorry again for no cut, I still can’t remember how to do it on mobile and I fucking hate hate hate the desktop post editor as much as someone can hate a piece of code)

It’s… getting harder to use tumblr. This isn’t about the sidebar, I don’t actually hate the sidebar cause we used to have a sidebar on the other side and I’ve missed it every since it left, but it’s about other things. A lot of things, but I won’t get into them all right now. For me, the new post editor is just. Really fucking difficult to use. If you’re just doing an unformatted, unplanned ramble (like this) or a little shitpost, it’s fine, especially if you’re on mobile (somehow the shitty mobile editor is now less shitty than the desktop editor, how tf did that happen), but if you’ve got multiple paragraphs and literally any formatting is needed? Well, you’re fucked, quite frankly, it is the most dense and convoluted post editor I’ve seen in like roughly 2 decades spent online. I’ve never seen anything more counterintuitive and difficult to use

And I’m sitting here with all these twitter posts I want to move. Some are little and would be easy. Others are a lot longer and more complicated and would shove me into that formatting hell I despise so much (and given how much feedback and unanswered asks to wip I’ve sent with no improvements, I’ve given up hope of it ever being made better). Like god I really, really want to save those posts but is it even worth it to do it here? But where else would I do it?

And the secondary layer too is… there’s no fucking posts here. No engagement on posts either most of the time. 90% of my posts come from my archive cause the kylux and Kylo (plus a few others I check less regularly) tags have very few daily posts and there’s hardly anything on my dash anymore. My original posts maybe get 10 notes on average, and these posts are ones that sometimes got near triple digit rts alone on twitter. Just seems there’s exceptionally few people here to enjoy them

And I’m still on twitter. It’s slowly dwindling but it’s still slightly more active than here. I’m on pillowfort and bsky too and they are truly dead (unless you’re a furry, good on the furries for populating every site in existence). There’s just. Nothing anymore. Maybe my fandoms are just dead but it feels like the meme about passing around the same $20 among friends cause capitalism is destroying us except with posts and likes

Idk. I feel like I don’t have an online home anymore. 90% of my socializing is online and 100% of my creativity is expressed through fandom and. I don’t know where to do that anymore. I have friends I chat with on discord and I love them but it’s… it’s not the same as a whole community, you know? And now that our homes are falling apart with every sign pointing towards imminent foreclosure like. What do I do. I know I’ve been through site losses before but. It feels different. Something new and shiny always came along before the end. I fear that’s not coming and we’ll all just be lost

Idk. I don’t have a conclusion. Twitter is doomed. I hate how the new owners are running on tumblr and I’m still posting here more out of a desperate desire to remember what community felt like than any real actual want to do so. The new sites have nothing going on. Idk. I feel lost. And maybe it’s the 15 other problems I have going on right now and hormones and shit but. I just don’t know what to do and I’m scared of what the future looks like for online communities and how alone I’ll be if I lost them (even though in reality I already have lost them aside from a small handful of people)

[scribbleseas]

The Indignant Pawn, Chapter XV: The Hand Of Karma

Description: You are Y/n Y/l/n- formerly known as Princess Helena, the runaway princess.

You're an assassin for hire who only agrees to find the worst of London's criminals at the business end of your knife; until a mysterious woman hires you to end the likes of Ciel Phantomhive, the King of the Underworld. You find yourself trading your weapons for your abandoned family crest in order to infiltrate his home as none other than Princess Marie-Louise, your twin sister. What's to happen when you find that the young Earl is more than a callous businessman?

OVERALL STORY WARNINGS: sexual assault (once in the prologue), objectification, misogyny, death, detailed description of blood/gore, detailed description of murder, lying, impersonation, theft, weapons, detailed panic attacks, symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, kissing

CHAPTER WARNINGS: insinuated sexual assault, drug addiction (opioids)

Author’s Note: Happy Holiday Season, everyone! I’m sorry this was so late. Final exams and final research papers actually obliterated all of my time and creativity. However, I was determined to finish this chapter and get it out before the New Year. I hope it was worth the wait-- I’m thinking this will be the longest you will have to wait for a while. I should be able to go back to my previous semi-regular updating schedule (like every other week).

ps. i had more than half of this chapter formatted before tumblr decided to not work and deleted my progress. fuck.

Happy Reading!

- Dan

⇠ PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER ⇢

MASTERLIST

APRIL 13TH, 1892

LONDON, ENGLAND

“Ciel, what do you mean you were unaware that it is Marie’s birthday?” Lizzie’s smile faded, replaced by frustration in her eyes. In times like these, she most resembled her mother, attempting to keep a placid face despite her growing frustration. “Please, tell me you’re playing with me; you absolutely cannot be joking about this.”

When did Y/n decide to allow Lizzie to refer to her so casually? Ciel mused, but that was beyond the point. What mattered was that he now had to waste a day in celebration of a woman he had no desire to celebrate in the first place. He knew it was coming, more than aware where Princess Marie’s birthday appeared on a calendar. Unfortunately, that would be the same date as her vindictive twin, who had been impersonating her all this time.

Besides, Ciel had no way of knowing if Y/n even liked celebrating her birthday; he knew nothing about her childhood and teenage life. She could detest her birthday as he did his for all he knew. In all likeliness, he would never understand, given how closely she guarded her life’s complexities.

After all, Ciel’s birthday was the day of the fire that ruined his life, killing his family and destroying his home. The only present he received that year was a demon butler that he summoned from the pure hatred that poisoned his soul. Maybe Y/n’s birthday reminded her of the palace that was abusive enough to cause her to run away twice. 

“Lizzie, what I mean is: I have much more important things to worry about. Such as keeping her alive,” Ciel replied, sighing at the drafted letter in front of him. He was in the middle of penning a response to the man he put in charge of the hiring process for all of his new steamship fleets. Each ship needed a captain, a sufficient number of workers to load and unload heavy cargo boxes, and operators to keep the vessels working. Ciel had just finished reviewing each of his manager’s selections and was writing to approve each one. 

He lied, considering there was no real threat toward anyone besides himself. After all, the real Princess Marie was already dead, and all Ciel was “protecting” was her lying and bloodthirsty counterpart, sent to him as part of a ploy for his life. However, Ciel still had to remain consistent with each pretense. No one else could know the truth. 

“How could you be this obtuse?” Lizzie asked incredulously, with a newfound bluntness to her words. Ciel appreciated her more for it. “It’s the woman you love’s birthday today! You cannot sit idly by! I allowed our engagement to go to rubbish; don’t you waste that by not making her feel loved!” Lizzie exclaimed, quick hands pulling the half-written letter from Ciel’s focus to force him to focus on her. 

“Love her?” Ciel couldn’t fathom the idea of liking Y/n, much less loving her after gleaning the truth. It was a weakness, and if he hadn’t let himself grow so attached, he would not have needed the phone call to show him that Y/n was not Princess Marie of Schleswig-Holstein. There were too many signs that he let go because she made his heart drum in his chest with such ferocity he could hear it in his ears. “I don’t--” 

“Yes, you do love her,” Lizzie said with the same gumption Ciel noted during their private discussion at the wedding. They had a similar exchange; his cousin insisted he loved the princess, and he assured her he was incapable of all love. 

“One moment of her dancing with another man drove you half-mad,” Lizzie said, laughing sadly, despite the tears in her eyes. She dabbed at them with a napkin carefully. “I could only wish you would care for me that much.”

“I do care for you.”

“It’s not the same. Think about it.”

And he had thought about it. 

Y/n drove him half mad with her constant mimicry and her instantaneous sarcasm. Her relentless mind that formed such witticisms and strategy that either left Ciel defeated in a game of draughts or lying on the floor, writhing in pain. She hurt him. It was her mission to hurt him.

And yet, it was Ciel’s instinct to care for her-- beyond keeping her alive. Her smile painted his world. Her lips lit a fire in his stomach. When she laughed, shivers rolled down his spine. Even worse, Ciel would smile in response before he understood what he was doing. 

While it was his duty to care for both Lizzie and Y/n, he never found himself searching for ways to go out of his way and bring a smile to his formerly betrothed’s lips. Ciel never found himself thinking about Lizzie so much he felt deranged. He never would have offered an extension of his first kiss to his cousin in a fiery moment of unconstrained passion. A culmination of his frustration and the sheer depth of what he felt for the woman who both drove him beyond insanity and pulled him back into what felt like the body of a living human being.

He’d been a corpse. And she’d brought him back to life, forcing him to feel emotions he’d never-

Enough. 

He’d made himself blush. Damn it all. 

Ciel groaned, hiding his face in his hands. Days ago, he would never have allowed his cousin to see him so…vulnerable. But if not his cousin, who else? Ciel clearly couldn’t work through his emotions himself. Sebastian detested Y/n, and it didn’t take a genius to know why. If Ciel could feel himself changing, indeed, his soul was changing. It was brightening, and that wasn’t the sort of taste that lured a demon.

“Fine, fine,” he surrendered, ignoring his cousin’s delighted laugh. While he wasn’t sure he loved Y/n, there was some driving passion behind his feelings for her…despite her litany of deception and lies. “What do you reckon I do, then?” 

A half-decent Guard Dog would do nothing of this sort. He should have been writing detailed reports of his findings over the past several months to turn Y/n into the Queen, torturing her to find the name of her employer. It wasn’t possible for her not to know. He needed to understand the whole of this ploy she’d forced him through like a pathetic chess piece. 

But apparently, Ciel Phantomhive was ignoring his duties. He’d drafted that letter to Her Majesty over and over but discarded each attempt, unable to scribble the right words down. The right words to send Y/n to a probable execution.

Grinning broadly, Lizzie exclaimed, “we celebrate her birthday! You buy her a cake and presents, and make her feel like the most important person in your life, of course! I had Nadia make her the cutest dress,” she gestured to the delicately wrapped box in Paula’s hands. The pink bow atop the box bounced in the handmaid's hold. 

“I will inform Sebastian to stop at the jeweler’s,” Ciel said as if he were making funeral arrangements rather than planning a birthday dinner. He shouldn’t be celebrating this woman. He should have her tortured by Sebastian until they could extract the answers they required from her: who wanted him dead, and why, and how did she survive all of this time? Was everything she said to him a lie?

Ciel was weak, and for that, unsure if he could forgive himself. But he could live with that sort of hatred. He’d lived with it every day for years. Besides, for every bit Y/n weakened him, he had the same impact on her; he was sure of it.

That being said, he had the perfect gift for Y/n; a far cry from a dress or jewels Marie would desire. Sebastian could quickly stop at the bladesmith’s while he was out. Ciel began to sketch. 

. . .

Sebastian decorated the gazebo delicately, per Lizzie’s direction. Plush pink roses and vines twirled around each column supporting the roof, adding a graceful ambiance to the scene. The air smelled of flowers and sugary frosting as the demon walked the hitwoman’s birthday cake from indoors to the dining table; Y/n sat at the head, Lizzie forced Ciel to sit at her right hand, and she sat across from him. His servants filled the rest of the table, an oddity, but Lizzie wanted the celebration to be as meaningful as it could be on such short notice. 

“Happy Birthday, Marie!” Lizzie was the first to cheer as Sebastian approached with the dual-layered cake decorated with intricate frosting patterns Ciel struggled to see in the dim light. A half dozen candles sat around each layer, each lit, casting an orange glow over Y/n’s face as Sebastian placed the dessert before her. 

“Happy Birthday, Your Highness!” Mey-Rin, Baldroy, and Finny echoed, a little more reluctantly than Ciel would have liked. However, Lizzie failed to notice their hesitation, more fixated on the opulence of the frivolous cake Sebastian whipped together. 

Y/n merely offered a strained smile in response, her eyes searching. He could tell; she was wondering why they celebrated her birthday after Ciel condemned her to her fate. She wanted to be anywhere else. She distrusted Sebastian, such was evident by the way she flinched at the miniature, yet brilliant, flames atop each candle.  

Ciel had to admit, they made him a bit apprehensive as well. He focused elsewhere, returning his attention to Y/n’s skeptical expression as she listened to the exchange between Lizzie and Sebastian.

“Sebastian, this cake looks lovely! I cannot believe you’re such a talented baker,” Lizzie gushed, squinting at the complex designs, swirled eddies, and flowers made of frosting, all measured and perfectly symmetrical. 

“You are simply too kind, my Lady. I’m no one deserving of such high praise; I’m simply one hell of a butler,” Sebastian simpered, basking in the complimentary glow Ciel’s cousin cast all around her. He never received such praise from Ciel simply because his ego was so inflated it hardly fit in the manor, to begin with. 

“You really outdid yourself this time, Sebastian, yes you did!” Mey-Rin added, vehemently staring at her lap to avoid looking the butler in the eyes. Her face flushed red.

“Thank you, Mey-Rin,” the butler grinned slyly and bowed at the waist. He began preparing the Green Tea for the table, strategically picked to pair with Y/n’s favorite cake flavor. Or was it Marie’s favorite cake? 

“It would be a shame to keep everyone waiting any longer. This cake does look divine,” Y/n puckered her lips to blow out each candle. Thankfully, the scent of smoke dissipated quickly-- it was causing Ciel’s heart rate to steadily rise. He swallowed the lump in his throat, soothing his stress with a short breath. Once again, he caught the overwhelming scent of sugar and roses. 

The table broke out into applause and cheers, to which Ciel was late to engage, slowly clapping. Out of rhythm. 

Across from him, Lizzie sent him a vexed look, purposefully looking between him and Y/n, who plucked each candle off the cake to keep the wax from dripping onto the frosting. She hardly flinched at any unbearable heat from touching the hot candles. A princess would have asked a servant to do this for her, unwilling to put her fingers at risk of burning.

These slight hints should have exposed Y/n ages ago had Ciel not been so utterly daft.  

Wish her a happy birthday, you heartless fool! Lizzie widened her eyes at him, gesturing with her head.

Could she be more obvious? She might as well speak her mind at this point. 

Ciel felt his cheeks warm as he returned his focus to Y/n, trying to create some semblance of fondness to appease Lizzie. He was a brilliant liar; smooth lying should’ve come easy, but the words died on his tongue.

With a final withering look Ciel’s way, Lizzie carried the table’s happy atmosphere. Clearly, she was the only one invested in the celebration-- Y/n looked like she was considering several exit strategies, and Ciel’s servants were still reeling from the brawl she brought to them over a week ago. She was a force to be reckoned with, indeed. Much like Finny had a bruised abdomen to show for it, the discoloration under Ciel’s eyes and wrist had only cleared up a few days prior. 

“And Marie, did you know that it’s good fortune for you to make the first cut?” Lizzie asked, gesturing to the elegant, serrated knife Sebastian left aside the cake on the platter. 

“I did not,” Y/n lied with a tactful smile, meeting Ciel’s eye as her nimble fingers wrapped around the knife’s handle. She was mocking him, reminding him of the damage she could do with such a blade. His stomach lurched in response to both Y/n’s sardonic look and the sense of dread that came from witnessing her with a knife.

Y/n used two hands to wield the knife handle and force the blade into the cake’s bottom tier. She made a show of pretending there was notable resistance from the layers of cake, frosting, and filling. Please, she was strong enough to nearly have broken his wrist. And his nose! Who the devil did she think she was fooling?

Be honest, Ciel. A few days ago, you might’ve been fooled. 

After Y/n made the first cut into the cake, Sebastian did the rest of the hard work, cutting slivers for everyone at the table. The servants excused themselves to ‘help’ Sebastian with the cleaning. 

Lizzie hurried everyone through inhaling their cake because she wanted Y/n to open her gift: a complex aubergine dress with puffy sleeves, understated and graceful. The deep shade of purple complimented Y/n’s sharp eyes. 

Y/n didn’t have to pretend to be impressed by the dress; it was a decent selection. It showed ample thought on Lizzie and Nadia’s part, analysis of the deep and studious color palette Y/n favored, simple lace embellishments of the same shade, and a back that closed by a complex tying mechanism. 

“I love it, Lizzie, thank you,” Y/n said, running her fingers over the expensive satin. So as not to ruin the dress, she folded it neatly in the box, for the most part, tugging a sleeve out of it to get a better look. “I’ve never seen anything like this. Nadia is brilliant.”

“I’m so pleased that you like it,” Lizzie grinned, “but I think Ciel might outdo me tonight. That’s why I saved him for last.” She smiled, but her eyes threatened him: you did get her a gift, did you not?

“I’m not sure I would say that, but I did pick something for you, Your Highness,” Ciel admitted, setting aside his pride for the sake of his plan. He needed to act seamlessly to keep his cousin satisfied and unsuspicious. If Lizzie suspected something was wrong, she would never leave and, inevitably, find out the truth. After all, he was a skilled liar, but not even he could keep his frustration at bay. 

He pulled the velvet box from his pocket, the moment feeling annoying reminiscent of his impromptu ‘proposal.’ By the brief grim look on Y/n’s face, she drew the same connection but accepted the little box nevertheless. To her apparent relief, it wasn’t another ring but a pair of pearl drop earrings set in gold. Ciel didn’t know the intricacies of jewelry; he merely had his butler go to the jeweler's and pick something passable. Much like him, Y/n wouldn’t see the difference between freshwater cultured pearls from China (which they were) and glass imitation ones.  

“Those are incredible!” Lizzie gushed, gaping at the earrings with approval. 

“They are, yes,” Y/n agreed wryly, shutting the box with an air of finality. “Thank you,” she shifted in her chair as if she was fighting a suffocating desire to leave.

“My pleasure,” Ciel responded mechanically.

Naturally, Lizzie disapproved, watching the exchange with a frown. Of course, she was dissatisfied. And she wouldn’t leave if she was dissatisfied.

Ciel cleared his throat, “Your Highness, I actually…have another gift for you. But…I would prefer to show it to you…” it was excruciating to formulate each word. Alone. Without meaning to, he looked at his cousin pointedly. 

Catching his accidental look, Lizzie took it as a cue to act. She forced a yawn, dramatically pressing the tips of her fingers to her lips. She rolled her shoulders back in an exaggerated stretch. “You know, I am actually rather sleepy,” she said unconvincingly, “I shall go find Paula…and… take my leave! Goodnight, Ciel! Happy Birthday, Marie!” She said, slowly rising out of her chair, only to scamper away when she got to her feet. 

“-- Lizzie!” Ciel protested, feeling as if his cousin had left him abandoned at sea. Left adrift without a lifeboat to take him out of uncharted territory: facing Y/n in  disquieting neutrality. He stood to get a better look at his cousin as she grew further from his vision, calling for Paula. 

“I’m retiring for the night,” Y/n lied, finally standing. “You didn’t have to do this. I’ve never cared much about celebrating my birthday,” she took a step away, but before she could continue, Ciel stopped her, his hand nearly missing the back of her shoulder. 

“I had no choice. You know that.”

Y/n turned on her heel, combat-ready by instinct. “You did. She’s only your cousin now, it’s not like you have to maintain her happiness,” she shrugged her shoulder, frowning at Ciel’s hand. He refused to let her leave before he could finish his piece.   

“No, I—” he started to explain.

“You, what? Did you have more questions to solicit me with? I’ve told you everything I know about the woman. I’ve given you my bloody word, what more can you possibly want from me?” She raised her chin, daring him to challenge her. 

But Ciel knew what Y/n’s word was worth; he couldn’t trust her more than he could hope to fight her and live. Besides, the Undertaker said Y/n liked to have the complete picture of everyone she worked with; a sense of their backgrounds, grievances, and why they wanted someone dead. Without knowing the whole picture, she would not take on a mission like this. 

Ciel couldn’t even recall killing a natively Spanish household and leaving a pregnant woman alive. Could Y/n’s employer be lying?

“Just…” stop being so bloody stubborn and come with me. “...I decided to get you another gift. For you. Not who you pretend to be. Do you want it or shall I have the bladesmith melt it down and use the materials for something else?” Ciel demanded, letting his extended hand drop back to the side. Y/n’s mouth opened to formulate a response, but he wasn’t finished yet: “I will be waiting in the drawing room. Meet me there, or refuse. Your childishness is not my concern,” he feigned aloofness as he passed her, showing himself back inside. 

Ciel would have taken pleasure in saying that he genuinely couldn’t care if Y/n joined him. He wished his ego and heart were that fortified, but if he had claimed they were, he would’ve been lying to himself.

Instead, Ciel spent the next two hours glancing at the open door, using a copy of Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil to keep himself from staring at the door like an overattentive dog. 

Even worse, he wished he could say he was comprehending the German words he was reading, but that would be another lie aimed towards himself that was simply too far. Lying to someone else was excusable-- Ciel did it all the time, every day, every hour. 

Lying to himself would be weak. He was not weak. 

He could acknowledge that as he waited for Y/n, she was in the front of his mind. Not Nietzsche’s thinking, not his responsibilities as a good and vicious Guard Dog. No, he was wondering if she would show. If she would like his gift. What she might say. 

Perhaps he was weak. 

“I would’ve assumed you retired by now,” her voice made Ciel straighten his back, tense. His mouth felt dry. He fought his instinct to stand as he would have for an active royal. She wasn’t Princess Marie. He knew that, yet his muscle memory preferred treating her as so.

“I am aware of how stubborn you are. My only option was to simply withstand your thickheadedness and you would eventually surrender,” Ciel responded coolly, satisfied with the way he kept the quiver out of his voice. 

“In that case--” Y/n started, turning to leave. She’d hardly stepped foot through the threshold. 

“Y/n,” he interrupted her with a cutting stare. One might think he was urging her to drink a poison chalice rather than sit and open a birthday gift from him. On the couch in the drawing room…where they haven’t been together in what felt like ages. It was only a little over a week, but when Ciel thought of how things were before the phone call… it could have been a decade’s difference.

“Fine,” she snapped, taking a seat on the other end of the couch. As far as she could get. 

Really? She was the one who attacked him and nearly broke his nose! 

“I thought you might like something more to your tastes,” Ciel said, reluctantly offering the pristinely wrapped box to her. 

“You didn’t have to,” she inspected it before tearing the paper along the taped seams as if she wanted to preserve the wrapping. 

I know that; I don’t have to do anything. I wanted to. Don’t ask me why.

She opened the box to reveal a dagger, the blade sharp and forged from steel. The handle was made of white marble, its quillion sculpted into gold swirls, matching the bottom of the handle. 

This was one of the first times Ciel rendered her speechless, but her face told him everything he cared to know. Her eyes were wide as she took in the dagger’s every detail. Her face reddened, matching the soft pink roses Sebastian used to decorate the gazebo. Like one of Lizzie’s gowns.

Her dexterous hands tested the dagger, determining its weight and how the handle fit in her calloused palms. Ciel would know they were calloused-- he’s had the pleasure of holding them while waltzing. At the time, he’d presumed they were callused from the harp, not the everyday labor of an acting commoner and… the general toil of murder. 

“I’ve always preferred to use daggers. Ever since I started…” she began, her words something adjacent to a thank you. His neutral frown nearly cracked.

“What caused you to start?” Ciel asked before he could help himself. For a moment, Y/n looked like she was considering turning her new blade against him and slitting his throat, but instead, she merely sighed. She watched her reflection in the flawless blade, her face clear of makeup, her hair out of its sophisticated braid. 

Y/n moistened her lips, finally bringing herself to look at Ciel. Her thumb caressed the handle as she spoke, describing a day that took place… five years ago. March 1888. 

She was a poor 16-year-old, homeless and alone. Entirely out of stolen jewels from the German royal family, starving. It was pouring rain, and she had no other choice but to huddle under the scaffolding outside the Undertaker’s shop. Cold, wrapped in tattered blankets, watching the world continue without her. 

Nobody cared about her or the other homeless children living on the streets.

“My William did not deserve this. He was a good man. A good and honest man,” a woman’s insistent voice shook. Four children and another lady around the same age accompanied her. She cradled a baby in her arms while the other woman held an umbrella over her head as they left the Undertaker’s shop.

 “I know, Edith. I know. It was a terrible accident-” the other woman began, only to be cut off.

“It was no accident! Armed bank robberies are not accidents,” Edith refuted, allowing one of her daughters, presumably, to hold her hand while she used her occupied arm to cradle the swaddled infant. “William, the father of my children, was murdered. And you don’t understand what I would do to his murderers if I--” she whispered forcibly. 

“Those are not Christian thoughts,” her sister gasped, “you mustn’t think of the world in such a manner. God always has a plan, have faith in Him,” she urged, walking along Edith’s two sons. 

Y/n listened intently, studying Edith, listening to her. Her husband was probably William Wagner, one of the four tellers murdered in a violent bank robbery the other day. Established newspapers printed their names and obituaries alongside their portraits.

William Wagner: survived by his wife, Edith Wager, two sons, and two daughters, William Jr., John, Victoria, and Ava. 

The man had kind eyes and smile lines. Y/n couldn’t imagine the loss the family suffered…any more than she could imagine letting the scum who murdered him (and the other three men) live. 

Edith wanted to cleanse the world of evil, a Christian thought, and you wanted to afford a loaf of bread. And, of course, be the hand of karma. Justice itself-- if all the government wanted to do was hold prisoners in jail cells for the rest of their lives, wasting tax money on food to keep them alive. Meanwhile, they ignored the homeless children on the street, refusing them any money or food.  

Y/n could dispatch bank robbers for Edith and William. And she did, that night, using a trusty dagger that wasn’t much different from the one she held in her hands. She snuck into their holding cells under the guise of being one of their relatives, wanting to say goodbye. If they knew better, their guards didn’t care enough to stop her from killing them. 

Afterward, finding Edith’s home was simple. Dodging her grateful hug was not.

“I am not a senseless killer, Ciel,” Y/n said starkly, practically challenging Ciel to second-guess her. He was reluctant to. “You are the King of the Underworld. Not many people know what that means. I do, and in my professional opinion, you need not think long and hard about why someone called me to kill you.”

Ciel frowned. He thought about his Madame Red, all of the broken children he ordered Sebastian to incinerate each time his finger pressed into his shotgun’s trigger. 

She was a serial killer, Jack the Ripper. They were too traumatized to ever live a happy or decent life. Every time he shot, his bullet lodged itself into a criminal. 

They weren’t the same. They couldn’t be the same.

. . . 

APRIL 15TH, 1892

LONDON, ENGLAND

Ciel started his work day writing a letter to Her Majesty, Queen Victoria. Y/n and Princess Marie’s grandmother. His sovereign and employer. This was not the sort of inquiry he thought he would have to pen to the Queen of all individuals, but it was more time-efficient than sending postage to Germany. After all, the royal twins’ mother, Queen Helena, tended to spend most of her time racing around Europe to open charities. Any letter addressed to Queen Helena and sent to Germany would take ages to reach her desk. 

Besides, no reasonable Queen would allow her daughter to marry below her social caliber and outside the royal family. No sensible Queen. Ciel stood a fighting chance, seeing as the Phantomhive family was in Queen Victoria’s service for generations. 

Ciel’s bloodline was the closest to the monarchy without genuinely being a part of it. Queen Victoria would consider how valuable the Phantomhive line might be to her family-- particularly when she was already the Grandmother of Europe. A branch of her family tree ruled every established European country; there was no tactical advantage in Princess Marie marrying another German prince. 

Thus, he reached above Queen Helena’s authority. If Ciel could gain Victoria’s approval, he would be unstoppable-- no one would undermine her authority, not even her own daughter.

Ciel uncapped his pen and began to write, his handwriting pristine through balanced lines and even loops:

Your Majesty, 

I write to you with a request that might seem unfounded, but in truth, it has been months in the making. 

As you are aware, I was previously betrothed to my cousin, Elizabeth Cordelia Midford, since childhood. Though recently, she has opted to end the arrangement with her parents’ consent as a result of my untimely courtship. 

During my time as your granddaughter, Princess Marie-Louise of Schleswig-Holstein’s supervisor and protector, I feel that my…

The ill feeling in Ciel’s stomach stirred once more, threatening to reach his throat. He rubbed his forehead in a weak attempt to dispel his forming headache. 

He detested almost nothing more than expressing his feelings and asking for permission. To have to do both in one letter was almost more than he could manage.

Almost.

He picked up his pen again:

…emotions towards her have grown much more intense than I might have anticipated, from a respectful acquaintance that a guard might have to a feeling much more intense than such professionality. I feel that my connection with Her Highness has grown undeniable; to the extent there is too much intensity to deny both in public and…

Ciel hesitated.

to ourselves. While I could never presume to ask for Her Highness’s hand while she is promised to His Highness Prince Aribert of Anhalt, I do feel it is sensible of my station to first appeal to you. 

As per usual, I shall only act at your will and discretion. I am your Guard Dog, and I do put my duties to the Crown above all, including my personal feelings.

With Gratitude, 

Lord Ciel Phantomhive

With that, he folded the stationary into itself and fit it into an envelope. He poured wax over the envelope’s opening and pressed his family cress into the steaming liquid, immortalizing his family crest: the widespread two-headed eagle with a shield in front of it. Under this shield was a banner with the Latin for power and rule. Potentia and Regree, respectively. 

“Sebastian,” Ciel said, calling his demon back from the short errand he sent him on. His butler needed to deliver his outgoing postage and this newly drafted letter to the castle. Beyond that, Ciel was impatient to reap the results of Sebastian’s trip. And admittedly, he craved a decent parfait. 

Without wasting a moment, Sebastian breezed through Ciel’s office door, holding a sterling silver tray with a notebook the size of a dictionary and, of course, the parfait that occupied Ciel’s mind. The demon’s expression was as placid as ever. A surprise, considering he’d spent his morning investigating Y/n, someone he may detest more than Grell Sutcliff. Or even Pluto, the demon dog Ciel took in with the sole desire to bother him. 

“Yes, my Lord?” Sebastian chirped as he put a napkin on Ciel’s desk to avoid scraping from the glass's bottom. 

“Tell me about your findings,” Ciel responded, trading the stamp with his family seal for the small spoon to dig into his snack. He gestured to the notebook with his spoon as Sebastian unloaded it from his tray, placing it on Ciel’s side.

Ciel opened the notebook, scanning over the first page. Sebastian filled every line with the victim's name in chronological order. He started at the top, looking for the first name he did not directly recognize.

Cooper Finley

Amelia Dyer

Felix Keating

“Tell me about Felix Keating,” Ciel ordered, vaguely recalling the headline that appeared in the paper several months previous. Shortly before Y/n arrived at the estate. The businessman’s servant found him stabbed in the back of his carriage. Ciel didn’t mind the death, considering he was visiting London to see a play. Any commoner’s rage might have been provoked at the sight of a rich man amongst them-- Ciel had disregarded the murder. 

Sebastian obliged. “Mr. Felix Keating, a prominent iron manufacturing owner. Found murdered the night of December 17th, 1891 by his longtime coachman, Horace McLaughlin. Cause of death, blood loss due to a stab wound between his fourth and fifth ribs. All of this occurred several days after a legal court found Keating innocent of all dangerous workplace and child labor charges, following the death of Margaret Calvert, a young girl working in one of his factories. Poorly built machinery malfunctioned, causing it to combust and-”

“I understand,” Ciel interrupted firmly, having no desire to hear the gruesome details of a young girl’s demise. “And her parents?”

“Yes, I spoke to them. They were quite stubborn, but eventually, they came around. The husband, Eric, confessed to everything-- meeting Y/n, attempting to pay her, saddling themselves with an alibi-”

“Attempting to pay her?” Ciel said, ignoring Sebastian’s vaguely irritated look. The demon disliked when he interrupted him. 

“She refused to take the full sum of her pay,” the butler clarified. “Quite…merciful of her, considering their living conditions,” he continued, as if the compliment was difficult for him to admit.

Well, of course. They are factory workers who live in Birmingham. They could use all the money they could get. If they were affluent, they would not have had their daughter working at such a young age in the first place.

“I never requested your opinion, Sebastian,” Ciel chastised, only to further irk his butler, “now tell me about her first murder.”

While Ciel already knew about her first paid killing, one could only assume Y/n’s first murder had to be a different circumstance. No one decided to make a hobby out of slaughtering others without having done so successfully beforehand. 

“Gladly, my Lord. Investigating her first murder took me to the Dowager Baroness, Lady Cecilia Wright.” The demon smiled again, the look somewhere between fond and malicious. The same expression he wore after he extracted information from certain women. Like Beast. And that nameless nun. “Though we did have a meaningful discussion, she did insist on speaking with you, my Lord.”

Ciel fought the bile that threatened to rise up his throat. “Fine.”

“I thought you might agree, so I told her we would make a private appearance at her soirée tomorrow evening.”

. . . 

APRIL 16TH, 1892

LONDON, ENGLAND

When Ciel considered Lady Wright’s history, it made sense that Sebastian’s investigation of Y/n’s early life led him to her. The late Lord Steven Wright was murdered the morning of February 3rd, 1888-- four years ago and a month before Y/n’s first paid murder.

There was a suspicious amount of mystery surrounding Baron Wright’s death. From what Ciel recalled, an armed thief broke into the Wright estate, resulting in the Baron’s murder. While the paper prided itself on the specific details it published, this case was particularly vague, leading the public to suspect there was something…more to it. However, it didn’t concern the Queen, and evidently, what was no concern to Her Majesty, was no concern to Ciel. 

Besides, Cecilia Wright’s estate was now a popular destination for elegant and frequent parties-- no one missed the Baron, an avaricious man known for toeing the law with technicalities. Perhaps, Her Majesty was pleased with his demise. 

“You’ve put together a lovely party downstairs. People seem to be enjoying themselves,” Ciel broke the leisurely silence between him and the Baroness. She led him from the intense party to a room that seemed to be converted from an office to a sitting room. Sebastian waited outside the door because Ciel could hardly tolerate the evident flirtation between Lady Wright and his butler. It was tough to watch, and Ciel had withstood even the most gruesome sights.

“It truly is amazing when your imbecile of a husband dies and you have no children to continue his ridiculous legacy?” Lady Wright’s smile spread slowly, a little deranged. Her forehead creased as she grinned, matching the smile lines on either side of her lips. Despite being a noblewoman, her cheeks were sunken in, matching the deep bags under her tawny eyes. Her pupils practically swallowed her brown irises, making them appear like twin black abysses. 

Ciel’s first instinct would have been to express his condolences for her lack of children, but her maniacal smile said otherwise. 

“Everything he owned is mine. All the money, the property… I love my life,” she rambled, her gloved hands fiddling with her gold bangles until she stopped abruptly, staring into Ciel’s gaze. Her smile melted. “And I did not murder my husband to achieve this life if that is why you are paying me this visit, Queen’s Guard Dog.”

Ciel found her face disarming whether she smiled or not. Her eyes still shone with a certain lack of sanity, whether she looked like the party’s hostess or a manic killer. He straightened his posture in response to her change in demeanor.

“Of course not. I know your husband’s killer, and I know you know her as well. I wish to question you about her.” Ciel corrected her, his words causing her to relax once again. “Y/n Y/l/n,” he added to prompt her into speaking since the girl probably asked (threatened) her to keep her mouth shut.

“Yes, that was her name,” Lady Wright hummed, a hyperactive hand coming to twirl at one of the adlib strands of hair that framed her face. Her auburn hair was graying at the roots. 

“Would you tell me exactly what happened the night of the Baron’s murder?

She raised a thin eyebrow, “and why would you need that sort of information? Are you meaning to apprehend her for a murder carried out four years ago?” 

“Not at all. I would only like to…understand her history more,” Ciel answered truthfully. If he was to live with someone who lied to his face repeatedly, slowly reeling him into an inappropriate relationship without imagining a bullet between her eyes, he had to understand who she was. He deserved to understand who she was. In total-- beyond what she chose to disclose. 

Lady Wright was unconvinced.

Ciel took a hurried breath in, growing frustrated with the Baroness. What else was he supposed to say?

I need to know everything about her. She’s an unending mystery, and I want to understand her. Put all of the pieces together. I need to justify not turning her into the Queen for who she is. I need to justify why I thought to press my lips against hers when I had a knife to her throat. 

He must have looked more tortured than he meant to because Lady Wright smiled. She laughed warmly, a quivering hand settling over her heart. 

“I understand, Lord Phantomhive,” her eyes sparkled. “Your face tells me everything I need to know. You love her.”

“Love is not an emotion I understand nor feel,” Ciel’s frown deepened. Y/n drove him to the very brink of sanity. He detested her, yet, he could never force himself to drive her away. Love couldn’t be this maddening. An emotion made to bring people together couldn’t hurt this much. 

“My Lord. No one understands love,” Lady Wright corrected. “Stop fooling yourself trying to understand it. You must be wiser than that.”

“Fine,” Ciel mumbled, his gaze casting off to the side. “I understand.”

“Now let me tell you about the girl I met four years ago,” Wright started, sitting back in her chair. “Y/n broke into this estate through the servant’s entrance and found our quarters in the early morning. I only caught her when she started crying afterwards, wailing on our carpet…getting blood all over it.”

“And the sound of Baron Wright bleeding out next to you failed to-”

“Yes,” Lady Wright interrupted Ciel crisply, “I am a heavy sleeper. Your darling butler knows this. Now would you let me speak? Incredibly rude to interrupt a lady.”

Ciel nodded once, fighting the temptation to roll his eyes.

“I asked her why she killed him and she told me he sent men to her home and they killed someone important to her over an inane plot of land. Then they tried to…hurt her,” Lady Wright said meaningfully, her fingers returning to the gold bangle that hung around her skinny wrist. “She killed all three of them. And my husband, which I took no issue with- I was sure that the bastard was cheating on me, anyhow.”

He considered her words: three men dead, a close friend dead. From conning Steven Wright for over some land. The most common land scam in the business world was claiming to have purchased over acres within a foreign country, making a fake contract, and selling it for money before the buyer could go overseas and validate the claim made. Ciel imagined something of that caliber took place. It would have been much too easy to pull off, considering Y/n was fluent in German. 

“She took me to that shack of hers and it was truly gruesome,” Wright reminisced with the same sick grin. “Four men. Dead. I had to ask my most loyal staff to help us clean. You know, I wanted to take Y/n in and raise her, but she refused me. Heaven knows why.”

Because you are 59 and wearing elbow-length gloves to hide the wounds from your opioid addiction. What 16-year-old in their right mind would want to be ‘taken in’ by you?

“And you are certain that your husband caused harm to her and killed her friend?” Ciel asked, holding onto his very last shred of hope that Y/n was a serial murderer with no motivation. They simply could not be of the same occupation because that would mean Ciel had significantly less of a reason to dislike her.

“Yes, completely,” Lady Wright answered. “Insurmountable proof of personal violation and her friend…I believe his name was…Bernard? Benjamin?” she hesitated, unconvinced by the names that surfaced to mind before her face lit up, “Baxter! Was a corpse on the floor. She was clearly distraught over the man.”

And that revelation nearly made Ciel the same level of ill that he felt when he stared into Amelia Dyer’s dead eyes. When he realized that the girl he knew as Princess Marie was a killer set to make him his next target. 

Only now, he realized that perhaps…this killer might have been better than he was.

After all, Ciel dispelled evils that worried Her Majesty. Y/n worked to dispel evils that caused direct harm to the underrepresented- a pair of factory workers from Birmingham. For less than half the sum of her pay! Ciel took generous compensation from the Queen, no matter how insistently he told her he required no payment for her bidding.

Y/n was correct to say it didn’t take a lot of thinking to understand why someone might wish Ciel dead. 

In truth, she was better than him.

. . .

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