jaesivq

[jaesivq]

say it — choi seungcheol

ABOUT.

you’re back from college, and seungcheol starts to realise you’re no longer the bratty little 18 year old anymore — and has trouble accepting that he’s not protective of you just because he thinks of himself as an ‘older brother figure’ in your life.

PAIRING.

seungcheol x reader (fem)

TAGS/WARNINGS.

rich!seungcheol and rich!reader, age gap (cheol is older by 6 years), childhood friend! cheol, smut with plot, mentions of older brother mingyu (reader), cheol suffers from jealousy! denial! possessiveness! friends to lovers au <3 one-sided pining!

ׂ╰┈➤ CHAPTER TAGS/WARNINGS. ⭐️

rich!seungcheol and rich!reader, age gap (cheol is older by 6 years), childhood friend! cheol, mentions of older brother mingyu (reader), jealous! cheol, wonwoo x reader, nicknames: bunny/bun (reader, used by parents & cheol occasionally!) alcohol consumption, is this slow burn? some hand touching...haha.ha... i warned you guys it was gna be slow ish..

ׂ╰┈➤ series masterlist

ii. new year, same me

How convenient was it to have the weekly dinner on new years eve?

Definitely not a coincidence as Wonwoo's name fell out of your mother's lips.

"You don't seem as excited as Mingyu to have Wonwoo over bun," your mother giggles as she clears out 'unused' bags and jewelry of hers, to hand it over to you. Says that you now have half the grace and attitude to be wearing them out.

"Gosh mom, a vintage Chanel? Really? Perks of being your only daughter," you hug the bag close to your chest, wiping off imaginary tears dramatically.

"Don't change the subject," she tuts over at you. Hands on her hips before she continues browsing through her collection.

"How should I know why Mingyu is so in love with him," you joke. "And, I don't know...feels like a lot of pressure to be bringing someone home, especially at my age. You know Dad's gonna take it rather seriously,"

"Oh bunny, you're still a baby in Dad's eyes. He will never be one to rush you into settling down...do you think Dad and I are the type to pressure you with regard to anything?" Your mother speaks with concern lining her tone, slightly shocked that you would be pressured by that.

"Well, no..." deep down, you knew why it was stressing you out. You barely figured out any form of feelings with Wonwoo, and with Cheol scrutinizing every detail, you feel the need to prove to him that you're not the frivolous and carefree bimbo he thinks you are.

"Don't worry too much about it bun, bring him around, it's just going to be a cozy dinner with your loved ones. No going all out for new years eve this year — your dad and I are exhausted," your mother's words bring you temporary comfort and you nod along, trying to convince yourself that you were overreacting.

"Seungcheol must be over again, your dad's laughing way too much," your mother perks up at the laughter sounds booming from downstairs.

"What? Cheol? What's he doing here at 10am on a saturday?" You get up on your feet, scurrying after your mother down the stairs when you receive no response from her.

"Oh honey! Just in time, I've asked Cheol to stay for breakfast, I need to hear more about his stories dealing with the Khan's" your dad has his newspaper set aside as he's sipping coffee..with choi seungcheol?

The look of confusion gracing your face is what greets him first. He's decked out in running attire, sweat causing his now translucent shirt to stick stubbornly onto his chest. A towel wrapped around his neck as his sips on his coffee, with an amused look as he notices you.

"Morning princess, why do you look so confused?" His tone is nothing but mocking as you walk towards the island area, home slippers shuffling with wariness.

"Because I am? What are you doing here?" You speak up, deciding to push away the fact that he called you princess, deep deep behind that brain of yours.

"Don't be so rude," your father frowns, gesturing you to come closer.

"Seungcheol has been dropping by occasionally after his morning runs for quite some time now." Your eyes widen comically at this info, he wasn't kidding when he mentioned being closer to your parents than you now.

"Nothing like starting my weekend mornings chatting with this man right here," he pats Cheol's back, smiling at him like you've never seen him smile before. Ah. The charm of Choi seungcheol.

"Right..." you grab a fork before helping yourself to the fresh platter of fruits prepared every morning before breakfast. New rules set by your mother — to have fruits and a glass of lemon water before breakfast is served every morning.

What kind of reality did you come back to?

New year's eve meant one thing and one thing only; an indestructible amount of glitter and shimmer. It was the only thing distracting you from the nerves biting at your heart.

"God, you couldn't be any brighter bun,"

Mingyu starts finding humour in how you look, immediately whipping out his phone to take a few snaps. You take pride in it. Posing for him and encouraging him to use flash — really makes the shine pop, you tell him.

"You're gonna look like an ornament next to your oh so tall boyfriend," he teases, while reaches out to take a strawberry from the charcuterie board you're plating.

You slap his hand away, "Stop, Madam Lee cut those fruits painstakingly the whole afternoon," you send a glare over, "and, he's not my boyfriend,".

"Soon to be. Tomato tomahto."

"Seems like a self manifestation gyu, you sound obsessed," you shrug, pointing out your brother's growing crush on Wonwoo.

"It's true, I would love to have him in our family," and you brush off his statement, appearing focused on your task at hand.

"Oh, I forgot to mention — I've invited a friend over myself too," he blatantly swipes a macadamia nut off your platter.

"Friend? What friend? You have friends?"

"Oh please, you wish you had the social circle of my magnitude — and yes, she went to college with me, we're working at the same company now and and, get this,"

You make an irked expression while looking at him talking while chewing on his macadamia nut.

"She has the biggest crush on Cheol, so, what better opportunity than this — a slightly intimate dinner to bring them closer," he huffs and looks proud of himself for accomplishing this 'feat'.

You raise your eyebrows at this, feeling a small wave of discomfort boiling in your gut.

"Cheol? Well, I can see why one would think he's of good calibre when it comes to looks, I guess but, he'd be too nonchalant for a boyfriend,"

Now it was your turn to reach for a strawberry, needing something to sink the weird feeling down your throat walls.

"Makes the two of us but hey, I'm just doing my part as a friend, and my matchmaking skills have been rather impeccable — quite the track record,"

You shrug it off, thinking maybe it would be a good idea to get Cheol a girlfriend. He's always been uptight at times and in need of some form of...release, if you will. If jiu jitsu won't cut it, maybe Mingyu's friend could do the job.

Maybe now he won't be too concerned with how you and Wonwoo are throughout the night. Seeing as how he's about to step into unknown borders, unaware of what's about to hit him.

Seungcheol loves the idea of being self sufficient. Adores that he sets his own rules in life, lives by his own ideology, and has essentially everything he needs. Doesn't like to entertain any possibilities of an anomaly in his pre-constructed life graph.

It all leads back to how he and his brother were raised. With his mother passing when he was just 9, he's foreign to the idea of warmth nestled at home. Only has curated ideas of how his life should map out from his father planted deep in his brain.

Aloof. Distant. Words to describe his father after the death of his mother. As a business man, he appears to be the best father in public. It's his job. He's not even sure how he's maintained such a good connection with Mr. Kim, but they've been friends for the longest of time.

Maybe there's still some form of sentimental heart in that old man.

But he would like to think he's a better man than his father. Was exposed to a certain altitude of love and warmth through time spent with your family growing up.

You were his abstract anomaly appearing time to time, but he thinks it's under control.

When Mingyu introduces his colleague who works in the same law firm as him with extra ardour, he sees through the lady in the matching grey pantsuit who's eyeing him with coyness to her words.

Hm, boring.

He may be a fan of predictability and consistency, but he does like a little dash of flavour. Enjoys being surprised, having words washed out of his mouth.

So when he sees you at the table looking like the naked glitter troll just puked rounds on you, he can't control the twitch in his lips. Knows never to be disappointed in what you have up your sleeve always.

"The diamond troll called. Said he wants some glitter back,"

You look over your shoulder, smirking at the snarky remark. Had to rack some brain energy to remember who the hell the diamond troll was, then you generate images of a sparkling troll you somewhat remember from watching random cartoon clips.

"Time for a closet update Cheol,"

"What?"

"Oh nothing, seeing as how you're constantly in shirts too small for you,"

"Happy new year's eve to you too, and thanks for calling me buff," he tilts his head, with that arrogant smile of his before he heads over to greet your parents at the head of the table.

You direct your attention to Jeonghan and Minji who struts in after him, and Jae who's already getting busy finding the drink bar. Cooing at the newlyweds, you demand them to get you gifts when they debark on their honeymoon next week.

Wonwoo arrives not a second later, eyes crinkling while giving a hum of appreciation at how bright you are.

"Very festive, very apt," he chuckles, letting you lead the way towards the dining hall.

With Mr Choi mingling with your parents, you take the time to get Wonwoo a glass of cabernet for starters - figuring he may need it tonight. Taking you up on that offer, he chuckles before taking a small sip to start.

"Ah! Wonwoo, so glad to have you join us tonight, we've heard so much about you,"

No one escapes your mother's keen eye.

She ushers Wonwoo over with her hands, before welcoming him with a light hug.

"Come, sit sit, let us get to know each other better,"

Wonwoo nods politely, pulling out a chair for you before settling down beside you.

"Chivalrous,"

The man clad in a shirt a few sizes too small for him speaks up. Nods slowly with a patronising smile. But you're refusing to be in on his inside joke. You send over a deadpan expression to which Jeonghan seems to find amusement in, his eyes darting between individuals on the table.

The night kicks in smoothly, with conversations flowing between different people at once.

Your mother is in a discussion with Mingyu and Wonwoo, with Mingyu giving rather lacklustre suggestions for game development.

Like he knows anything about it.

Your father and Mr. Choi are now listening to Mingyu's colleague, Rihyeon, talk about her recent transition into corporate law.

She spoke with elegance and her dark mauve lips accentuated her intense eyes. She looked so.. put together. Not a single crinkle in her outfit, not a single flyaway to be found. Simply put, she seemed to be the complete opposite of you.

You start to believe that your brother does know what he's doing, because now the image you've let your neurons construct was one of Cheol and Rihyeon together. They seem like a fine match. A power couple even.

You dwell on the possibilities. But the fact that Cheol meets your gaze the moment you look up brings you some form of comfort that you refuse to acknowledge. It's the way he seemed to be waiting to catch your gaze for a while.

You give a tight-lipped smile, and he offers one in return. It's the 3 glasses of wine that makes you hyperaware of the way his dimples sit when he smiles. The way his eyelids get heavier a few drinks in.

You chide yourself, pulling yourself back to the man in glasses who screams perfect boyfriend material.

Mingyu returns from the living room, with the television now blasting the live broadcast loudly.

"Hurry let's grab our glasses and head to the patio, the countdown's 'bout to start anytime soon," he ushers everyone out of their seats, eyes glimmering with anticipation.

Wonwoo extends his hand towards you, and you almost swoon at the way his pretty fingers urge you to grab onto them. You don't hold back your giggle, before grabbing onto his huge hands, letting him lead you towards the patio.

His warmth radiates on your back as you look up at the particularly bright night sky.

"Thank you," he breathes out.

You hum, turning back to look at the tall man behind you.

He catches your gaze, "for inviting me today, I mean. With my family out of town, I felt... happy, to spend new years eve with yours," his smile widen as a light tint of blush spread over his cheeks.

"All right all right it's starting, 10..." Mingyu shouts as he runs out from the living room, leaving the sliding door open as the live broadcast starts to count down.

With your eyes tracing your brother's frantic behaviour, you accidentally meet Cheol's gaze yet again. His deep set eyes trained on you while Rihyeon clings onto his bicep lightly, while jumping excitedly.

Your heart starts to act abnormal again.

"5, 4..."

Cheol sees nothing but the way your face radiates under the patio lights and the full moon. Hates that he wants to ring in the new year with you in his arms. Gave in to the fight with his intrusive thoughts a few glasses of wine in.

Irks him that Wonwoo's large and slender hands are the ones gently cupping your face.

"3...2....1! Happy new year!"

The fireworks that explode blocks out all noisy thoughts in his head. He observes the way you blush when Wonwoo engulfs you into a hug. Thinks he's capable of warmer hugs.

"Happy new year," he turns to Rihyeon, dodging her attempts to side hug him. Walks towards Mingyu and Jae instead, lovingly envelopes his drunk friend and brother with a hug.

Jeonghan and Minji share a haste yet sweet kiss, and everyone exchanges loud cheers of celebration.

Everyone loiters at the patio to soak in the new year — the burnt smell from the aftermath of the fireworks wafting through the air, the clinking of glasses and the sweet taste of wine.

Cheol thinks he's fucked. For letting that small anomaly of his erupting and deviating totally into a different path of its own.

Your mom's a big fan of Wonwoo. Thinks the universe couldn't have sent anyone more fitting as your boyfriend. Mingyu agrees completely, though he now feels you're no match for him.

You being you — absolutely hating when people in your life are pushing a certain narrative a little too hard. Except these two people are the people you trust most, with your entire heart. They would know what's best for you.

Sighing, you put on your earrings before spritzing your favourite perfume all around.

Wonwoo: i'm here!

You speed up, grabbing your purse along with your folder consisting of your resume and relevant transcripts.

"I'm heading out!" You holler out to whoever's home; though it was likely nobody was home.

Spotting Wonwoo leaning against his Mercedes, you take the way his fingers drummed lazily on his hood, legs so long it seemed to extend into the ground. A slight smirk playing on his lips as he sees you walk over, he opens the door and motions for you to get in.

"Thanks for doing this Wonwoo, you really didn't have to go out of your way," you lean back, letting the warm vanilla scent in his car engulf you.

"Of course I did, it's a big day; you shouldn't have to stress about anything else," he offers a reassuring smile before starting the car, checking his blindspots and driving off.

"Mingyu must've told you how stressed I get about driving," you bite your inner cheeks, starting to feel silly about yourself.

Wonwoo shrugged, "maybe, but I would've offered to drive you there eitherways,"

You sigh contently, mentally going through possible interview points you may come across. It was the first job interview you'd landed since coming back, not to mention without the help of your parents.

You're confident you would have a few job offers lined up if they were involved but, both Mingyu and you always promised each other to make it in this world in your own terms.

And that's what you're going to do.

With more pep talk along the way, Wonwoo drops you off at the large and brooding office building, before heading off for his own meeting.

You wished you'd arranged for a ride back because right now, you want to do nothing but scream into a pillow.

"I'm sorry, you seem like a promising candidate but right now you're not exactly what we're looking for and, we're looking to fill this spot rather urgently. Thank you for your time though, feel free to apply again once you've gathered more credentials."

Letting out a slow breath, the weight of rejection was settling heavily on your chest. You understand it takes a certain number of failures before one succeeds; but right now you're slightly shaken by the quick rejection. They didn't even want to ponder upon it?

You find yourself walking to a cafe right outside the stretch of buildings, letting the display of sweet treats pull you in. Nothing like a cheesecake for a quick pick-me-up.

"Bunny? Is that you?"

You jerk up at the familiar voice, dropping the buzzer that you were fidgeting with on the table rather loudly.

"Cheol?"

You couldn't help but call and drag out his name in longing tone. He was your comfort person after all. Seeing his face after a dejected day was like the universe sending you a pity gift.

He chuckles, "Wasn't too sure if it was you... the pencil skirt and blouse did throw me off a little but, I'd spot that pout of yours anywhere." He pulls out the seat opposite you and settles himself there.

You blush at the slight connotation that he recognises your pout, your... lips. Brushing it off, you can't seem to say anything yet all you want is for him to tell you it's okay, with a pat on your head.

"What're you doing here?" Instead, was what you managed to spurt out.

He narrows his eyes, "I could ask you the same. My office building is somewhere around here, I drop by here for coffee mid-day at times." He holds up his buzzer, waving it.

"Oh..." you nod slowly, unsure whether he should be informed of your failed interview. Would he comfort you? Or would he start to nag once again. You're not too sure you're ready for a round of lecture about your life directory. Wound's still rather fresh.

He stares at you, raises an eyebrow as if he's still waiting for you to explain what were you doing in this vicinity.

"I was here for a job interview... I mean, I guess you can tell by..what I'm wearing," you shrugged. And then decided to just surrender. "But, they rejected me, right on the spot so," you pop your lips, trying to act casual and cool about it.

"It's whatever," you continue to stack up your act, thinking you're doing a rather convincing job.

You feel the warmth of his hands covering yours. With a steady touch, his palms felt like a shield from this world. Thumbs moving up and down, caressing your hand in consistent manner. With each trace, you feel your hands start to burn up.

"I'm sorry bunny, I know how job rejections must feel. I've had a couple myself and, I know it fucks with your self worth so please," his thumbs move to brush over your knuckles lightly. "Don't take it too hard on yourself, alright?"

His eyes travel around your features, and you purse your lips as you look at the man in front you. Fully understanding why he was who you once turned to in times like these. He knew when to be strict, and when to let that facade peel away and be that soft-hearted guy he truly is.

You missed having access to moments of Cheol like this.

"Thanks...Cheol," you felt like a slab of melting butter, waiting to just melt and spill away under that gaze of his.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding when both buzzers went off. He picks up both and heads to the counter. And when you're alone, you start to puff out quicker volumes of air while adjusting your hair. Stopping yourself midway. Why the hell were you adjusting flyaways?

"Cheesecake. Still your go-to sobfest food I see," he smirks as he places the cheesecake down before you.

You waste no time, and start to attack the poor dessert in front of you.

"Slow down, no one's stealing it away from you," he sips his coffee, an amused look painted on his face as he leans back and crosses his arms, watching you eat.

You send a mini glare his way, trying to play it back to the hate dynamic of your relationship. Dialling it down was important, especially considering the slight intimate moment you'd just shared. Balance is necessary.

"So, what's your next course of action?"

God, you didn't want to think about the numerous emails you'd gathered in your sent folder, still not generating replies.

"Don't you have a job to get back to?"

"I'm just trying to help, bunny. Not nagging. Helping, as someone who's been through it, let me," his sincerity made you reflect on your snarky remark, and you put down your fork for a moment.

"I know, I'm sorry... I just- I'm eager to make mom and dad proud and sometimes I just forget it isn't the easiest job hunting as a fresh grad these days," you lower your head, letting vulnerability speak for itself.

He nods, "I know, bun. I've heard from Mingyu about how you're both refusing help from your parents too which I think is rather refreshing," he affirms while scooping up a bite of cheesecake, before extending it towards your mouth.

Confused, but you take the bite. "So you can't expect it to be a smooth road down," he continues, "It's important that you plan a few courses of action and alternatives each time so you'll always be prepared, I'm here if you need any help,"

Swallowing, you nod appreciatively. "I'm thankful, and grateful that I still have all of you around me as great support systems,"

"Like Wonwoo too?"

You tilt your head in slight confusion at the sudden mention of him, and Cheol nods his head over to your phone which is currently ringing with his name flashed on the caller ID.

Waiting for the call to pass, you send him a text to let him know you're already on your way home. Just for some..quality time with an old friend. You did miss having time with Cheol like this.

"So, it seems like Mrs. Kim's taken quite a liking towards him," He plays around with the condensation on his iced americano in a plastic cup.

"Meh. You know how mom is," you shrugged, not too sure why you're playing it down. "She's everyone's best friend, and, don't worry — Mingyu still prefers you over him, for now at least," you wiggle your eyebrows, highlighting what he was probably more worried about.

"And you?"

You furrow your eyebrows, and point the cake painted fork towards yourself, "Me?"

"Do you prefer me over him?"

The way his eyes fixated on you in the afternoon sun almost made you think he was desperate and pushing for you to say yes.

"Well yeah, I mean, I've known you for a way longer period of time. Would be nonsense if I'd choose him over you," in that duh tone, you add a laugh at the end to solidify your justification.

You weren't sure if it was the blinding sunlight casting hallucinations on you or if Cheol indeed let out the tiniest crack of smile with a one-sided dimple, before slumping his shoulders.

"Right. Of course the man who was your personal chauffeur for a good year deserves that top spot." He leaned forward on his elbows, "Better make sure it stays mine yeah," he lightly flicks your forehead, and immediately smooths it over with his thumb.

You roll your eyes at his actions, finally taking a sip of your strawberry-milk-crush drink you saved for the last, "We'll see about that, Wonwoo may replace you as my next personal chauffeur,"

Cheol straightens up. Feeling a wave of unknown territorial possessiveness wash over him. That was his job.

"He can't be a better parallel parker than I am,"

"Only one way to find out,"

"He lets you take over aux while karaoke-ing?" He quirks an eyebrow up, not backing down until you admit you'd rather have him as a chauffeur. Cheol wants to let the anomaly remain as it is. Just an anomaly that quirks up but disappears.

"He will."

"Trust me bunny, after once, there's no way anyone sane would trust you with the aux again,"

But now he seems to be a bigger fan of experiments and nourishing that oddity. Needing it to be a constant variable.

And so, he creates non-existing conditions to nourish that damn anomaly — and offers to drive you home in the middle of his work day. And you're still the same you that runs to the doe-eyed man whenever you feel a little lost in life.

ׂׂ╰┈➤ a/n: i swear i'm always apologising when i come on here but.. i'm sorry guys for the late upd.. not the proudest! of this! but i think the next few shld unfold rather excitingly i hope!! pls let me know any feedback u have abt this series <3 i welcome all comments! brain is muddled with exams rn but i'll do my best to come on here more often too!! ily guys so much!! 🖤

╰┈➤ like + reblog + comment if you've enjoyed it! all love <3

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[jaesivq]

“It felt like fireworks”

inspired by glee s2 ep 12 “silly love songs” (lmao I love this show but when I rewatched it and heard this line I felt so SAD FOR RACHEL HOLY SHIT)

no summary cause idrk know how to cram my whole point to interest you IM SORRY

WARNINGS ▸ mentions of cheating, yelling, toxic relationship, kissing, manipulation, emotional…just sad

GENRE ▸ toxic relationship

CHARACTER ▸ mingyu x reader, wonwoo joins in

MUSIC INSPO ▸ is there someone else by the weeknd, the other woman by lana del rey, reflections by the neighborhood, i love you so by the walters, and heather by conan gray

this is just a draft for the first part idek if I’ll finish it and make a part two yet!! so please let me know if you want another part!!

you never thought you’d be here right now. regretting your decision of transferring from YOUR dream school for the boy you thought would be worth it. I mean you would’ve said he was worth it a couple months ago. maybe your eyes are just opening or maybe you’re overthinking it.

everyone welcomed you with welcoming arms BUT HIM. I mean your own boyfriends face was betraying the words he said.

“Im so glad you’re here” as his smile dropped and he tried to fake up a new one

god you werent that stupid and naive, you could see right through it. his eyes didn’t have the sparkle he use to have even AFTER seeing you everyday. his smile didn’t even show the canines you adored to death. even the tone in his voice dripped with disappointment. It felt like it was storming when you seen him or at least his mood gave off that vibe.

obviously the first thoughts racing through your head were the worst I mean how could you not. college and the parties were a recipe for a bad disaster and mingyu of the all people would damn sure be getting attention.

you DIDNT want to believe it that your boyfriend of a year and just a few weeks wouldve given in to it but you couldn’t not. he never gave you a reason to question his loyalty but that was over the phone, through texts and through social media updates you seen but god it’s easy for people to fake it these days.

so now you’re here sitting with your best friend trying to piece this new act from mingyu.

“okay so let’s get this straight…you transferred, you got here, you surprised mingyu after not seeing him in person for 4 months and his smile dropped”

“yes kae that’s exactly what happened am I crazy or is that weird??” you fiddled with your fingers

kaes mouth dropped and she raised her eyebrow at you “there’s no way in hell you think im gonna sit here and deny that, that’s in fact crazy”

“i know-“

“I mean who does he think he is?? We have to tell cheol about this he would know what’s up with mingyu” picking up her phone going straight to her and her boyfriends messages

you stopped her “no do not go running to cheol about this I don’t want to come to any conclusions without seeing more signs”

“y/n what more do you need? cheol sees me everyday and still gives me the same look he has since he’s confessed even before we got together he’s always had it”

“well isn’t that just great for you” you huffed out hugging your body with your arms as you leaned back in your chair

“Im sorry, you know the eyes hold a lot of emotions and if you can’t look at mingyu in the eyes and feel it then maybe it’s-“ she looks up from her hands looking at you in the eyes “maybe it’s not there anymore y/n”

“yeah I know that’s exactly what I was scared of” you looked away from her and looked out the window of the cafe shop

“hey look” you look back at her and she continues slowly “let’s not instantly…even though it’s a possibility… think that way, how about we really find out”

“how would we do that” she lifts her eyebrow at you “wait..are you suggesting we SPY ON HIM??”

“I mean if we have to we can but we can start small like maybe you should go through his phone” she shrugs

you looked back down at your hands again. you’ve never even gone through his phone. I mean sure that would be the perfect place to start but there’s no way mingyu would be dumb enough to keep something incriminating there…right? you honestly didn’t even know if you could do it I mean what if there’s nothing and you feel guilty he’d probably feel some type of way about the breach of privacy and the lack of trust but….if there is something there then you know that look in mingyus eyes when he first asked you out would never be there again.

you looked back at her “alright let’s do this”

“thank god because this shit has me mad for you”

you guys talked a little bit more but as the sun set you guys decided it was best to wrap up and part your ways.

as you guys walked out and started to walk away from each other you hear her call your name “y/n”

you turn around looking back at her “yeah kae?”

she smiles “dont worry i have your back” and turns back to walk away

as you walked the way to mingyus dorm it was like the whole atmosphere changed. your headphones were tucked in your ears and it was even like your randomized liked songs even knew your fate. the song heather played throughout your ears. was spotify listening to your whole conversation. the air felt cold and smelled of faint rain. there was nobody around. the street lights were dim and not a single animal could be heard. no squirrels running up trees and no birds chirping.

you were scared not even just scared absolutely petrified. could mingyu do that to you…would mingyu do that to you? since you came a week ago he didn’t even sound the same, talk the same and when he touched you he felt like a stranger. a distant stranger. somebody you loved so much you could scream it out to the whole world yet when you wrapped your arms around him it felt like opposite magnets. and yeah that’s the kicker he didn’t run to you he didn’t even pull you in for a hug… you had to reach out for his cold touch.

you put a pep in your step. you didn’t even text him warning him about your appearance. he gave you a key when you surprised him telling you to just stop by because he’s too busy for a formal meeting right now. he barley looked you in the eyes just plopped a key in your palm and folded your hand over with his gripping it giving a fake smile at most because you seen the way he dropped it when he turned to walk away.

the song shifted to “im not the only one” and you felt a jab in your chest. you would’ve thought you were having a panic attack with the way your body reacted to the song. your body felt hot and you could’ve sworn you felt that sting in your eye as if your body was fighting tears. your heart knew but your mind had hope that mingyu wouldn’t have traded you for a fling.

you inched closer to his dorm hall walking up the pavement pressing your key card against the censor and reaching for the lobby door. you made your way to his hall patting around your eyes making sure you weren’t just numb to the feeling of crying and didn’t miss the drops. you pulled your phone out making sure your face looked fine. you inched closer to his dorm and the door opened and mingyus broad body stepped out facing the opposite way of you holding the door open as a girl stepped out smiling up at him.

you stopped in your tracks. it was like your heart paused for a second and then it rushed to start up again. your hands shaking and your breathing increasing.

“so I’ll see you tomorrow night right?” his voice rang out

she reached for his hand that wasn’t on the door squeezing it “yeah of course see you then gyu” she said walking away

she passed you. and by the time mingyu turned around going to say one last thing to her his eyes landed on you.

those eyes. those fucking eyes. the most emotion you had seen in days. being that of guilt? of anger? of sadness? you couldn’t even tell anymore.

gyu? it felt like a punch to the gut.. the nickname his friends and you called him now spoken by a girl who got the look you craved.

that wasn’t mingyu, that wasn’t your mingyu, that wasn’t your high school sweetheart, that wasn’t the boy who asked your dad before taking you to prom, that wasn’t the boy who asked you to his girlfriend during a big fourth of july fireworks show where you guys were away from everyone and when the first boom rang out and the sky lit up and you turned around to look at him with a big smile plastered on your face did you see him looking at you with a promise ring in his hand…yeah that wasn’t your mingyu standing there like a deer caught in his headlights.

you dropped your bag more so your body went limp and it was like your shoulder couldn’t even hold the weight of a few books anymore. your hands trembled grasping your face covering your mouth as the tears welled up at your waterline.

time felt like it paused the moment he turned around but it was just a couple seconds. the sound of your bag hitting the floor brought you out of it.

“y/n-“ he moved into the hallway his dorm door shutting behind him he slowly inched forward his hand reaching out

you stepped back as you repeated “oh my god..oh my god…oh my god” the words got more incoherent. your throat stung. It felt like you could barley speak and if you did you were gonna burst at the brim. your vision was fogged.

“y/n it’s not what it looks like” he inched closer “y/n it’s not”

“stop” you croaked out pushing your hand out you turned your head away not looking at him “don’t come closer to me”

he stopped “y/n seriously look at me love”

“DONT call me that. you can’t call me that anymore. you haven’t called me that in weeks DONT think now is the time for it. that meaningless name can’t save you” you spat out

gosh as heartbroken as you were in that moment you weren’t fucking pathetic. you had to stand up for yourself. your body felt weak and your eyes and throat stung but he didn’t deserve to see you like this.

“y/n stop it wasn’t like that, she wasn’t here for whatever you’re thinking” he stepped forward grasping for your hand

you pushed his hand away stepping back grabbing your bag off the ground. it felt like your fingers were gonna snap from the pressure of your bag. he really made you that weak. or maybe you felt so sick from everything that’s going on. your body couldn’t even stand it.

“no gyu-“ saying the nickname you always called him didnt even feel like it was yours to call “no mingyu you don’t get to tell me to stop and you don’t get to try and correct me for what I just saw”

“whyre you assuming that i would even do that” he raised his voice his head leaning closer to yours “why would I do that to you???!!”

you turned your head away “oh please cut the fucking act you’ve been acting different since I got here, you aren’t a fucking saint mingyu” you pushed him away

he scoffed “what are you even referring to, I’ve been the same since we’ve been together nothings changed and I didn’t do shit to you” and in the matter of seconds his tone changed “you have to listen to me love” he reached out for your face

you smacked his hand away “I don’t have to do shi-“

the sound of footsteps walking up echoed throughout the halls. you turned back seeing two people walking down the hall your way.

you turned back looking at him swinging your bag back over your shoulder “we’re done here I don’t even know you anymore mingyu”

you stepped back walking away avoiding eye contact with the people walking in. you didn’t even turn back to look at him. and he didn’t go for you. you had no words for what you witnessed. you held in the tears as your eyes stung and your throat ached even worse.

you reached the lobby doors the doors clicking as you pressed against them and the tears flowed. you’d never felt the pain you had felt right now. your whole body was shaking as you walked letting the door shut and your relationship with mingyu ending.

the sky lit up with thunder at the click of the door and the droplets started hitting the concrete. and you could’ve cared less. the sound of the rain and the thunder canceled out your sobs. your hands clawed at your face as the tears kept flowing. you just stood there with the rain engulfing you and your tears mixing with it. you couldn’t even physically step forward. you couldn’t even make out a normal breath.

you wobbled to the closest bench by the doors and you just sat there the tears couldn’t even make it out of your eyes. was it physically possible to feel like crying and not be able to? you just felt like you were in shock and all you could vision was his face when he turned around. the pain kept hitting you as you replayed the image over and over.

“y/n?”

you heard that deep calming voice and you already knew. you looked up seeing the exact face you thought belonged to that voice. the black hair, the glasses, the soft smile.

he rushed over his umbrella covering over you “what’re you doing out here like this?? you’re gonna get sick come on come inside”

“wonwoo i cant- i have to go”

“why not? you dont have an umbrella and you’ll be walking you shouldn’t go now” he reached for your hand “just come with me”

your body betrayed you and let him grab your hand helping you up, you should go you shouldn’t go inside with him. you can’t go back in there. your mind was spinning.

“y/n? come on” he had walked you over as he keyed in and held the door open

you walked in with him and he shook out his umbrella and held your stuff in one hand

“wonwoo i cant go with you i have to leave”

“it’s storming I can’t let you go out there like this” he looked at your state of soaking wet clothes

“it’s mingyu i cant go back there” you said quietly

you could see the realization in his face that he found out that you were out there like that because of him “don’t worry me and him aren’t even dorm mates anymore” he smiled softly

“i still shouldn’t wonwoo” you reached for your bag

he backed away “no I’ll let you leave once the weather clears i promise”

how could you not trust the warmth in that voice when everything else felt so cold. the weather was cold, mingyus touch on your hands just minutes prior was cold, his voice was cold even to your face after that. but even with that warmth you couldn’t trust him after what mingyu just did. he probably knew, they probably all knew.

he could see the look in your face go from convinced to right back how it was

he reached for your hand clenching it “you can trust me, im roomed with dk but he’s busy off with soonyoung just come till the weather clears and we will get you home”

your body let him pull you to his dorm where he pulled you in setting everything down and offering you clothes to get out of the drenched ones. there you were sat on his couch as you waited for him to change. your head was everywhere. you just caught mingyu with another girl, you tried to be strong and storm out and your feelings got the best of you now you’re here being helped by his best friend. god you were so pathetic.

“hey im back” he smiled at you as he took the space right beside you

you looked down at the floor and hummed in response

“tell me what happened” his voice was stern and you looked up at him

“what do you mean nothing happened” you looked back in forth between his eyes

“we both know that’s not true, tell me what happened seriously” he scooted closer “look i know something happened it’s written all over your face and you were sitting out there in the rain with no care…nobody does that y/n”

“i-“

“you can trust me”

“your his best friend though” you looked away

“ive known you since high school come on im not just going to instantly take his side y/n, just tell me”

“okay wonwoo”