#IM LOSING MY FUXKING MIND

[jankwritten]

I will never be normal about Ox and Gordo’s relationship actually. Thinking about them makes me insane. Like imagine being abandoned by everyone you love everyone all at once they’re all dead or gone across the country or fucking banished to prison and they left you alone, ON PURPOSE, and you can’t do a damn thing about it because if you leave you abandon your home, their home, you lise what feels people you have left and is it even worth it when they left you so easily and

There’s a little kid hiding behind his fathers knees and he’s never had root beer and you watch him grow into this intense strange boy who doesn’t understand that his father isn’t coming home his father left him and god don’t you know how that feels and you watch him learn his way around a car and you remember the man who taught you who gave you a chance who listened when you said what was wrong and

He needs a job and you’re the only one who cares so you help, god, of course you help, you can’t let him or his mom lose what little they have left so you let him work for you under the table, he doesn’t need to but he demands it even though you paid off their debt as soon as he asked. It’s the money of those fuckers who abandoned you, anyway, and Ox needs it Ox and Maggie need it and

He’s everything to you he’s your son your brother your life and he’s fifteen and he’s your fucking tether, he keeps you human, and you think finally, finally you’re healing. You both had shit dads who dealt you shit cards but you’ve got each other and you don’t need anyone else and

Then they come back and it’s not for you. They come back and they don’t even speak to you.

But they speak to him. To Ox.

They need him. Just like they needed you when you were barely a teenager when your father leveled that town when he killed your mom when you had to become their witch because the pack needed it your Alpha needed it because Thomas-

But Ox chooses them, over and over. You try to make him understand that they’ll only use him and hurt him and he doesn’t care. He chooses them. The damned wolves.

Imagine the man you loved hated needed despised dies and his son makes every imaginable mistake and you follow him because he is your Alpha he needs you and you leave. You leave Ox behind and you hate yourself every day, for three years, you know how this feels you know exactly how this feels and it’s bitter in your throat because you hate him him Mark him for this choice you’ve just made and you understand and you hate it and it’s vicious and you can’t forgive him so how can you forgive yourself and

You come home and he’s not a boy anymore he’s not a kid but a man and he’s tall and strong and he’s the Alpha, somehow, and he doesn’t need you anymore.

But he forgives you. Easier than you’ve ever forgiven anyone in your life, he forgives you because he loves you and you love him and you came home.

[inlovewithaspiderguy]

HOLDON A SEC THE MV FOR IRRESISTIBLE WAS A REFERENCE TO ITS GONNA BE ME BY *NSYNC????

[gottabescientific]

SHE WAS A NON ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX AND SHE DID NOT FIGHT

[fellhellion]

The random guy fucking SPRAYPAINTING the corporate agent’s corpse with anti Alchemax sentiment the second he hit the pavement im fucking losing my mind

[change-the-rules]

if you're riding the most populated public transportation in the us in scrubs without a mask unkindly fuck you

[themagickworlde]

How!!! The fuck!!!! Am I supposed!!!!!! To call patients to reschedule for TOMORROW!!!! Check TODAYS patients in!!!!! And train the new girl step by step on how to force appts and watch her as she does it!!!!! On a 120 patients day!!!!!

[wikitpowers]

YOUR HONOUR, I LOVE HIM WITH MY ENTIRE SOUL AND BODY HE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN MY PEASANT EYES HAVE EVER LANDED ON

blackthorn approved 'toph

[highmarshall-azure]

.

[sadstrever]

ok fucking 30th vent post of the hour but whatever

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FUCKING WANT TO GET BETTER. apparently i was really fucking violent and rude to everyone around me today and it breaks my heart. i know it was because i was drunk asf like i am everyday on an empty stomach but like wow okay. i’m a bad person. like genuinely i have become the worst version of myself officially. honestly i have been for probably years already. it just gets worse. cringey, stupid, corny, lazy, alcoholic, drug addicted, anorexic, bipolar, depressed, ugly fucking bitch. i used to be so kind and i don’t even remember that version of myself and i want to so bad but i also don’t know how to start fresh. i’ve been chasing a high that i already used up enough times to have it not do enough for me. if alcohol or acid or mushrooms or weed or fucking losing weight isn’t making me happier what’s gonna do it? being sober????? like how would that help, then i’ll just be back to the mind numbing sad fucking depression of being a sober anorexic which is just as bad-no actually it’s WORSE. and if i start eating i’ll just be FAT, UGLY, AND SOBER AND BORED AND DEPRESSED. like man what. how am i supposed to get better? how will anything help? the only thing that feels like it could POSSIBLY help is more drugs and becoming MUCH MUCH MUCH skinnier. when will it end. sometimes i hope that this kills me before it can get any worse, before i ruin more lives and torture my parents coming home late, thinner than the day before, too fucked up to walk straight to my room, refusing drug tests again and again trying so hard not to fucking have to pee. but i guess being dead would torture them more. so essentially- im trapped. i am literally trapped in a hole with no fucking exit. i could chose to move to a different hole or something but it won’t change anything. it’s still a hole. lol. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK HOW DOES ANYONE EVER GET BETTER AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH MY FUCKING GOD OH MY GOODDDDDDDDDDD

FUXK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I AM LITERALLY SO FUCKING MAD AT MYSELF I DID THIS TO MYSELF AND I HAVE THE AUDACITY TO FUCKING COMPLAIN OH MY GOD OH MY FUCKKNG GOD IM NEVER GONNA CHANGE LOL STOP NO PLEASE OH MY GOD NO

[c0rpseductor]

LOSING MY FUXKING MIND SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I JUST REALIZED

minfilia warde was originally named ascilia. thancred gave her a new ye olde witness protection programme name, which was minfilia. so. grabbing you.

in a way ryne is never even under ascilia’s actual shadow. all she knows is the name someone else gave her. i just. RRRGHGG. names represent so much and minfilia is specifically a name thancred gave to ascilia to cut ties with her old life. she owned it and it was hers but in a way it was an imposition on her. ryne is in a double bind. not only does thancred seek to define her through the lens of a dead woman but specifically a dead woman who he named. he took her name. minfilia as ryne knows her is also a construct of thancred’s mind! it’s projection all the way down do you understand me im going crazy

[collisvng]

IT'S 8AM, I JUST WOKE UP, AND IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

THE FUXK DO YOU MEAN CHANGBIN DID TH3 SMART CHALLENGE????!*!*@*×&

[andvys]

ANDY IH MY FUXKING GOD IM LISTENING TO SAY DON’T GO RN AND ITS SO STEVE AND READER CODED IM LOSING MY MIND

IM CRYING!!!!

I SAID I LOVE YOU YOU SAY NOTHING BACK 😭😭😭

[needyme-000]

hi baby. well both. he somehow got my insta from a friend and he started to send me inappropriate messages like “i’ll fuxk you better than your ex” and the other one was “wanna see my dixk” like dude….and then he sent more messages that were worse than those two that i listed.

asshole then said i was his slxt and that he wouldn’t ever let me leave my house because i was his and he was being like really possessive. at the moment i am in a talking stage with someone and it’s going very well. until they found out about this…

sweetheart, my fucking phone goes off almost every fucking our because of this dipshit.

i need love sweets…

now the person is so dry, they won’t answer me and the guy keeps texting me and i’ve already told him to stop. He goes to my college. And he’s already tried to touch me and corner me but i’ve had my ways… (my lesbian ways”😈) and pretend that my best friend is my girlfriend!! even when she’s not.

babes, i’ve already told the main guy at my college, but that’s his son so….i barely found that out two days ago…. and yeah….but i’ve already blocked the guy here but he keeps sending me anon asks…..

IM A SHY GIRL SO IM SCARED TO FUCKING DEATH RIGHT NOW. I SWEAR TO GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING ASS GOD I WILL FUCKING LOSE MY MOTHER FUCKING DAMN SHITTING MIND IF THEY DONT STOP.

i’m sorry sweet girl….for the long rant…just need someone to talk to and someone to make me feel safe….just need to feel loved🥺😖

-🎃

P.S. will you take care of me baby…?

hi love, I’m so so sorry that this is happening right now. I wish I could help you more than just letting you talk it out. If you ever need to talk you can always message me and I’ll try to help you out as much as I can <3

first of all this is not okay, I mean sure it is not but this is so disrespectful…. like why can’t he just get it and accept it that you don’t want to talk to him. Especially him not stoping with what he calls you and everything after you clearly showed and told him that you don’t want it, wtf!!!

second, I’m really sorry that you know him personally which makes this situation even more complicated. I didn’t know that he can still write you asks even when you blocked him. Maybe report him and tell these people everything and show them screenshots as a prove, so that they can really remove him. Or make a new blog. I know how hard it is to give up an old blog where you have mutuals and reminders but you don’t have to delete it. I still have my old one too but I’m not active there anymore. It’s for the better and then maybe if you don’t post it online that this is your new blog he won’t harass you anymore. Maybe just text your mutuals that this will be your new blog from now on, so you can still have the security and support of your friends…

third, deeply sorry that your talking stage suffered from this. Maybe try to talk to them again and show them prove if that’s possible. I hope you get back to the point where you were with them, you deserve all the love and care babe :3

I don’t really know how to help out here, and I don’t know how things are going in your country. But if he doesn’t stop and none of those things are helping out and he continues what he is doing or even doing more with touching you without consent… you should report him at the police or so. I just want you to be safe and this stupid guy should get his punishment and realise that what he does is just sick.

I hope you are doing better, love you🫶🏻💗

[jazajas]

i'm trying very hard to remain optimistic, but i swear to god everything feels like its going to shit

i'm always joking with my friends/family that im tired of living through historical events but its weirdly eye opening when your own mother says she repeats it to her colleagues when they ask why my generation seems so detached

it also fucking sucks when your parents in their 50s tell you that you arent looking at the past with rose colored glasses, the current world did get worse throughout the course of my lifetime

and like, being more aware of the world doesn't help but like damn

i can name more absolutely negative world/local(usa) events that will go down in history than positive ones just off the top of my head

(5+ mass shootings, the genocide in gaza, fuxking trump winning president despite clinton winning the popular vote, the overt collapse of our government, just to name a few vs the legality of gay marriage in 2013, and even that is on thin fucking ice)

and we've been trying to gain attention from hybe and shit and im so scared for the dday concert screening bc the theaters in israhell are almost sold and i know I KNOW it's not going to look good for suga or for bts when images of those screenings are out bc no one is going to care that they're in the military rn and dont have a say in business or politics

no one is going to care that both hybe and trafalgar are the reason its aired there DESPITE PRESSURE FROM CONSUMERS AND FANS TO SHUT THOSE SCREENINGS DOWN

and the fact that there are some on twitter who cant fucking wrap their minds around this is so fucking mind boggling to me like how the hell do we appreciate the same artists if YOU KEEP FIGHTING US ON THIS?!

and we're making progress, slow but sure progress, so im trying to not lose hope and give up but its so so so so fucking hard

i hate it so fucking much

[imasimpleguy]

Feel like a huge piece of shit. I’ve once again been dragged into a situation where I’m just gonna lose indefinitely, how can a woman throw themselves at me for so long only to switch on me so quick even though we are housemates and known eachother for 10 years only to blame it on the facf that we are fucking which is bullshit everhthing was fine until 2 days ago what the fuck happened I’m so over it I’m so over the mind games of I’m a fucking idiot I’m a useless cunt then you tell me to come cuddle you on my bed that we moved into the loungeroom. I feel cheated out of something good again and even though she was was planning on leaving anyways which I was fine with I was happily accepting of the fact that we could rnjoy this last month together I thought we’d be a team but you make it out like I’m against you like I hate you or you hate me or something it fuxking sucks and I can’t wait for this lease for end you’re my best friend in the entire world and yet right now I don’t want to be anywhere near you how do you think that feels especially when I’m pulled on the side of loving you to absolute bits what am I meant to do you say we aren’t gonna fuck anymore and yet I’ve only ever made the move to fuck you once but you’re the one making all the moves showing all the public affection I’m clearly worried about how people perceive you and us together as friends but I don’t think you care at all about whether we are friends or not I don’t know what to do anymore it feels like I’m running around in circles we bicker during the day we get really close at night and we cuddle it makes me feel so conflicted in one side I want to say no and I don’t want to continue that attention but at the same time I crave your touch and being with you and being around you and it’s hard being pushed away like this you say I’m you critique me but you’re being mean and it hurts me alot that I let it get to me because I shouldn’t it’s just y own stupid thought pattern that puts me in this position every time I can’t help myself anyone who shows some attention I get attached and I fuck it all up every time without doubt I’m just waiting for this to hit the boiling point and we’re gonna have a big argument but I don’t want that I’m not a fighter I don’t want to throw words I need to talk about issues evens if I’m not good at them I’m trying to get better at it but it’s hard i csnt just flip my switch overnight and be a better person if I fucking could I would but that’s not how this goes unfortunately and unfortunately it won’t go my way like I said Im in the lose lose situation where something good gets stripped away from me you say things that cut straight through to me and it hurts alot and I wish things were different so I didn’t have to stress about this

[banalope]

Gear 5 is coming and im losing my fuxking MIND