#IM LOSING MY FUXKING MIND

[jankwritten]

I will never be normal about Ox and Gordo’s relationship actually. Thinking about them makes me insane. Like imagine being abandoned by everyone you love everyone all at once they’re all dead or gone across the country or fucking banished to prison and they left you alone, ON PURPOSE, and you can’t do a damn thing about it because if you leave you abandon your home, their home, you lise what feels people you have left and is it even worth it when they left you so easily and

There’s a little kid hiding behind his fathers knees and he’s never had root beer and you watch him grow into this intense strange boy who doesn’t understand that his father isn’t coming home his father left him and god don’t you know how that feels and you watch him learn his way around a car and you remember the man who taught you who gave you a chance who listened when you said what was wrong and

He needs a job and you’re the only one who cares so you help, god, of course you help, you can’t let him or his mom lose what little they have left so you let him work for you under the table, he doesn’t need to but he demands it even though you paid off their debt as soon as he asked. It’s the money of those fuckers who abandoned you, anyway, and Ox needs it Ox and Maggie need it and

He’s everything to you he’s your son your brother your life and he’s fifteen and he’s your fucking tether, he keeps you human, and you think finally, finally you’re healing. You both had shit dads who dealt you shit cards but you’ve got each other and you don’t need anyone else and

Then they come back and it’s not for you. They come back and they don’t even speak to you.

But they speak to him. To Ox.

They need him. Just like they needed you when you were barely a teenager when your father leveled that town when he killed your mom when you had to become their witch because the pack needed it your Alpha needed it because Thomas-

But Ox chooses them, over and over. You try to make him understand that they’ll only use him and hurt him and he doesn’t care. He chooses them. The damned wolves.

Imagine the man you loved hated needed despised dies and his son makes every imaginable mistake and you follow him because he is your Alpha he needs you and you leave. You leave Ox behind and you hate yourself every day, for three years, you know how this feels you know exactly how this feels and it’s bitter in your throat because you hate him him Mark him for this choice you’ve just made and you understand and you hate it and it’s vicious and you can’t forgive him so how can you forgive yourself and

You come home and he’s not a boy anymore he’s not a kid but a man and he’s tall and strong and he’s the Alpha, somehow, and he doesn’t need you anymore.

But he forgives you. Easier than you’ve ever forgiven anyone in your life, he forgives you because he loves you and you love him and you came home.

[inlovewithaspiderguy]

HOLDON A SEC THE MV FOR IRRESISTIBLE WAS A REFERENCE TO ITS GONNA BE ME BY *NSYNC????

[angelstrawbabie420]

im at such a loss of what the hell to even do that my mind just blanks the entire fuck out

[gottabescientific]

SHE WAS A NON ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX AND SHE DID NOT FIGHT

[fellhellion]

The random guy fucking SPRAYPAINTING the corporate agent’s corpse with anti Alchemax sentiment the second he hit the pavement im fucking losing my mind

[change-the-rules]

if you're riding the most populated public transportation in the us in scrubs without a mask unkindly fuck you

[themagickworlde]

How!!! The fuck!!!! Am I supposed!!!!!! To call patients to reschedule for TOMORROW!!!! Check TODAYS patients in!!!!! And train the new girl step by step on how to force appts and watch her as she does it!!!!! On a 120 patients day!!!!!

[wikitpowers]

YOUR HONOUR, I LOVE HIM WITH MY ENTIRE SOUL AND BODY HE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN MY PEASANT EYES HAVE EVER LANDED ON

blackthorn approved 'toph

[highmarshall-azure]

.

[c0rpseductor]

LOSING MY FUXKING MIND SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I JUST REALIZED

minfilia warde was originally named ascilia. thancred gave her a new ye olde witness protection programme name, which was minfilia. so. grabbing you.

in a way ryne is never even under ascilia’s actual shadow. all she knows is the name someone else gave her. i just. RRRGHGG. names represent so much and minfilia is specifically a name thancred gave to ascilia to cut ties with her old life. she owned it and it was hers but in a way it was an imposition on her. ryne is in a double bind. not only does thancred seek to define her through the lens of a dead woman but specifically a dead woman who he named. he took her name. minfilia as ryne knows her is also a construct of thancred’s mind! it’s projection all the way down do you understand me im going crazy

[collisvng]

IT'S 8AM, I JUST WOKE UP, AND IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

THE FUXK DO YOU MEAN CHANGBIN DID TH3 SMART CHALLENGE????!*!*@*×&

[kusundei]

this dumb fucking bitch . no bcuz what the fuck? whats the fucking point then??? i knew when i got back but holy fucking shit is it so annoying when i am constantly treated like im dumb and have no plans and cant do anything with my fucking life. over and over again its always im fucking useless im an idiot i dont plan ahead i dont think. i dont ever fucking think before i do things because i “think too highly of myself and my skills” no??? you just act like im a fucking idiot???? im sorry i odnt reach your high standards of what you want from me but its not like i cant do wnything at all??? youre more stubborn than me if it truly is such a fucking problem then drop it and stop arguing with me. hell i fucking argued with her and i never do that but im so fucking sick and tired of this shit. alwyas always always and then its “just leave then” okay bitch??? then ill fucking go??????????? but no i cant fucking go anywhere at all. she wouldnt let me. its just bullshit and she walks away because shes “going to get too upset” and then acts like its all my fucking fault and im the one still arguing with her no the fuck im not???? id let it go if you leave me alone and YOU let it the fuck go. if i dont go to edmonds then fine. its fine. doesnt fucking change shit it just solidifies the fact im likely to not go to college and if i do then why the fuck is that up to you?? if i go to college im not asking you to pay for shit. id rather go into thousands of dollars into student debt then ask you for a penny. irs easier this way anyway because then i spend all my time at cascade and i can do everything possible to spend all my time w him. i dont need to be ahead. i just feel bad for sav cuz she’ll be there alone but she’ll live. i’ll live.

its hust so fucking frustrating. and the going back and forth over and over again i literally already caved? said i cant change that and i cant just apply at everett now because its closed. if you dont want me driving all the way to edmonds because im “not ready” then so fucking be it. its always “you dont have enlugh practice” is anyone fucking practicing with me??? is anyone LETTING ME practice??? and its always the small things. “yoy didnt check left” why did i need to i was turning right??? im not going into tje fucking left lane???? its a PARKING LOT I CAN FUCKING SEE????? THE YMCA HAS GOOD VISIBILITY? “You keep driving with one hand on the wheel” okay. im going straight. my car is extremely easy to maneuver i dont need both hands. i will use both hands if im locking in but im going 25mph . but no its fucking fine whatever??? fucking whatever. she’ll provably come back in here and yell at me again because i know her she doesnt let thagxshit go and she’ll keep bringing it up even though i literally fucking said no i wont go to edmonds then. i guess its my fuxking fault i listened to my counselor . “you didnt tell me” yes i did????? this dumb fuck i cant do this shit its so fucking annpying. i dont lkke being likr oh i fucking hate my mom but sometimes i truly do. because you r so immature and so stubborn and i dont caretjat yoyre pregnant and whatever . bipolar disorder who cares i never even acknowledge it ever because im not condemning you to that but god youre so annoying. make up your fucking mind ??? its not eben your problem its mine literally fuck off.

im just so annoyed because i literally said no i wont go. but now shes upset im losing college credits and time . okay??? and??? and jonathan is sooo upset. complaining about me to him like i can hear you guys and jts so fuckign annoying. i jdut wont go i cant change that??? icant change? that??? okay??? imsorry??? holy shit im so upset why cant i flee. icant even go anywhere. this dumb fuck holy shit im fucking condemned i hate all of you. i hate. you all. if they do the shit theyre fucking threatening right now im being so serious ill fucking leave. i will ill go im sick of this its been 2 days and ive tried to be soooo kind and not do anythint but fuck this im tired of it already

[andvys]

ANDY IH MY FUXKING GOD IM LISTENING TO SAY DON’T GO RN AND ITS SO STEVE AND READER CODED IM LOSING MY MIND

IM CRYING!!!!

I SAID I LOVE YOU YOU SAY NOTHING BACK 😭😭😭

[acepalindrome]

DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW YET, BUT CHECK TWITTER FOR THE CRITROLE NEWS.

IM LOSING MY WHOLE FUXKING MIND

[jazajas]

i'm trying very hard to remain optimistic, but i swear to god everything feels like its going to shit

i'm always joking with my friends/family that im tired of living through historical events but its weirdly eye opening when your own mother says she repeats it to her colleagues when they ask why my generation seems so detached

it also fucking sucks when your parents in their 50s tell you that you arent looking at the past with rose colored glasses, the current world did get worse throughout the course of my lifetime

and like, being more aware of the world doesn't help but like damn

i can name more absolutely negative world/local(usa) events that will go down in history than positive ones just off the top of my head

(5+ mass shootings, the genocide in gaza, fuxking trump winning president despite clinton winning the popular vote, the overt collapse of our government, just to name a few vs the legality of gay marriage in 2013, and even that is on thin fucking ice)

and we've been trying to gain attention from hybe and shit and im so scared for the dday concert screening bc the theaters in israhell are almost sold and i know I KNOW it's not going to look good for suga or for bts when images of those screenings are out bc no one is going to care that they're in the military rn and dont have a say in business or politics

no one is going to care that both hybe and trafalgar are the reason its aired there DESPITE PRESSURE FROM CONSUMERS AND FANS TO SHUT THOSE SCREENINGS DOWN

and the fact that there are some on twitter who cant fucking wrap their minds around this is so fucking mind boggling to me like how the hell do we appreciate the same artists if YOU KEEP FIGHTING US ON THIS?!

and we're making progress, slow but sure progress, so im trying to not lose hope and give up but its so so so so fucking hard

i hate it so fucking much

[imasimpleguy]

Feel like a huge piece of shit. I’ve once again been dragged into a situation where I’m just gonna lose indefinitely, how can a woman throw themselves at me for so long only to switch on me so quick even though we are housemates and known eachother for 10 years only to blame it on the facf that we are fucking which is bullshit everhthing was fine until 2 days ago what the fuck happened I’m so over it I’m so over the mind games of I’m a fucking idiot I’m a useless cunt then you tell me to come cuddle you on my bed that we moved into the loungeroom. I feel cheated out of something good again and even though she was was planning on leaving anyways which I was fine with I was happily accepting of the fact that we could rnjoy this last month together I thought we’d be a team but you make it out like I’m against you like I hate you or you hate me or something it fuxking sucks and I can’t wait for this lease for end you’re my best friend in the entire world and yet right now I don’t want to be anywhere near you how do you think that feels especially when I’m pulled on the side of loving you to absolute bits what am I meant to do you say we aren’t gonna fuck anymore and yet I’ve only ever made the move to fuck you once but you’re the one making all the moves showing all the public affection I’m clearly worried about how people perceive you and us together as friends but I don’t think you care at all about whether we are friends or not I don’t know what to do anymore it feels like I’m running around in circles we bicker during the day we get really close at night and we cuddle it makes me feel so conflicted in one side I want to say no and I don’t want to continue that attention but at the same time I crave your touch and being with you and being around you and it’s hard being pushed away like this you say I’m you critique me but you’re being mean and it hurts me alot that I let it get to me because I shouldn’t it’s just y own stupid thought pattern that puts me in this position every time I can’t help myself anyone who shows some attention I get attached and I fuck it all up every time without doubt I’m just waiting for this to hit the boiling point and we’re gonna have a big argument but I don’t want that I’m not a fighter I don’t want to throw words I need to talk about issues evens if I’m not good at them I’m trying to get better at it but it’s hard i csnt just flip my switch overnight and be a better person if I fucking could I would but that’s not how this goes unfortunately and unfortunately it won’t go my way like I said Im in the lose lose situation where something good gets stripped away from me you say things that cut straight through to me and it hurts alot and I wish things were different so I didn’t have to stress about this