#IM LITERALLY GOING INSANE FOR THEM
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sometimes i randomly remember how insane maggie stiefvater was for making ronan lynch—a man that can create reality—a man of god, when he himself is a god of a man. then to take this man and have him be not only in love with, but a literal soulmate of a man named adam. parrish. adam parrish. who, mind you, lives above ronan's very own place of worship. and is the namesake of the first of mankind that the bible says god made from the literal dust of the ground (adam parrish: comes from nothing, hair "dusty" in color) and appoints him to care for the garden of eden (adam parrish: sacrifices himself to ronan's sentient forest). then has adam viewing ronan as a god and ronan saying "maybe he dreamt (created)" adam???? like who just fucking writes that and goes about their life?
#if i think about them too long i start going actually insane#maggie pay for my therapy bills please#me and my ignored religious trauma are literally have never been able to handle it#the raven cycle#pynch#ronan lynch#adam parrish#and the fact that i read the series pretty soon after i realized that pretending i believed in god was doing more harm than good and left#i was still a kid and had very bad undiagnosed ocd that made my implusive thoughts surrounding hell and eternal damnation and the end days#and it terrified me so much as a queer trans kid to realize i didnt believe but still had thoughts of that in my head and then to read this#series like a year or 2 later was brain altering for me#anyways where was i going with this#ahahahha#im having a moment#adam's last name is pretty self explanatory too like....miss girl
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i'm sorry but i cannot stop thinking about it for reallll imagine you're richer than god and never had to face consequences for anything and you have so much money you don't even know what to do with it so you toss a quarter million at the stupidest tourism option on earth. and you see that the paper you have to sign tells you you could die and you look at the flimsy metal tube you're going to be plummeting into the ocean in and it doesn't even phase you because bad things don't happen to people like you. imagine some hours into the journey you realise something is wrong. maybe not you but somehow the knowledge that there was a fuckup becomes known to the 5 of you trapped in there. and you know you can't get out from the inside and you know you have no food and no bathroom and not even the room to ever stand up again. when does the realisation that your wealth cannot protect you from your inevitable mortality set in. how does someone like that reconcile with both death and the fact that it's 100% their own doing? can someone like this even come to terms with that or will they be fighting to find someone to blame until the last second? when does it reach you that all 5 of you are going to die one by one and there's nothing you can do? does the fact that 5 of you have enough air until thursday but one of you could have enough air until at least next week ever cross anyone's mind.
#it's so so so good i'm sorry it's literally such an insanely cool concept im literally frothing at the mouth here#i need to know what's going on in there so bad. but i don't want them to survive so#imagine if they did survive 😐 most insufferable ted talks on earth#oceangate#titanic#the titanic
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I HATE MIRROR MIRROR IM GOIGN TO FROW UP
#this still counts as face practice😋😋😋#IM LITERALLY GOING INSANE ABOUT THEM#star trek#star trek tos#leonard mccoy#doctor mccoy#bones mccoy#how many name variations does he have cmon#spock#mirror spock#SO ANYWAY. I HATE MIRRORVERSE IT UPSETS ME DEEPLY. I DON'T LIKE EVIL#👈niceguy#i mean like yeah im insane insane insane about mirror mirror but the evil fics make me nauseous😋😋#i kinda like it. but anyway#bones is such a creature. ignore spock being even more creature#wait is that spones? it is yes it is btw#spones
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So in a lot of fanfics I’ve read Edwin is touch averse to everyone, including Charles, and it’s like “touches like this are rare” blah blah blah (not hating bcs I love them all) but if we look at the show, they casually touch all the time, (they’re obsessed with each other). My absolute favourite scene is in episode one where Charles is trying to teach Edwin boxing and he’s all bouncing around and he does this thing where he mimes drilling into Edwin’s head with a hand drill and Edwin just looks like he’s trying not to smile and lightheartedly shoves him away. Trust me that is not something you do with someone you’re not comfortable touching. Give me Edwin seeking out touch from Charles and he’s so gentle even in his admonishments and it’s not the kind of touch either of them are used to. Give me Charles shying away from Edwin at first because he had to be such a typical boy when he was alive and the only touches with his friends were slaps on the back or punches on his arms, and he wouldn’t dare hurt Edwin because he’s the best person Charles has met. Give me them learning how to touch until it’s so casual they barely notice when Charles swings his legs over Edwin’s on their little sofa, or when Edwin uses a hand on Charles’ back when he’s going past, or when they fumble into each other (because come on they’re lanky teenage boys they don’t have control over their limbs, coming from a lanky teenager) smoothing over the nonexistent pain with their palms.
TLDR: I want more soft DBD fanfics with casual (platonic) touches until it’s not so platonic anymore.
#dead boy detectives#payneland#that is a very apt portmanteau because they send me to pain land#i love them#i’m literally going insane#they make me ill#no im not projecting#but my relationship with touch is very similar to Edwin’s and I want to cry about it thank you very much#I’m aware that this is probably not very coherent#paineland#edwin payne#charles rowland#lgbtq
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OK JUST A LITTLE THING BECAUSE IM INSANE @cubbihue
Song: Plastic by Cheekface
#IDENTITY HORROR MY BELOVED#I want to watch him fall apart#I need him to explode#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#animation#animatic#art#digital art#fanart#body horror#I sent in an anon ask a bit ago about Chimmy being able to accidentally destroy himself if he realized what he was#and that idea makes me so so so crazy#The slow dawning horror that you arent yourself#followed by the horrific deterioration of your body as a direct result of your knowlege#like a punishment you cant undo#a horrible cycle of falling to pieces reinforcing this horrific reality and that horrific reality tearing you to pieces#you know now. you cant go back even if you want to#and the visual symbolism body horror of literally falling into pieces. AGHGhgh he's hollow in there just so you know#He could stick his whole arm in and not reach the back of his skull its just a dark pit completely hollow and unnatural#I like to think if you looked deep enough you could see stars#AUGHGH STRIPPING CHARACTERS OF THEIR HUMANITY MY BELOVED#removing even their basest comforts. Even their body isnt familiar to them anymore#Its this strange horrifying thing. What will it do next? Was it ever theirs? Should they be afraid?#and in my hands the answer will always be yes#Sorry Im going insane I love your au#I like characters who cling on to humanity that can never be theirs ♥
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NORMAL PEOPLE KNOCK.
#NORMAL PEOPLE KNOCK!#sorry☺️sorryyy#TIM#sorry! 😚#NORMAL PEOPLE KNOCK!!!#im literally insane about them i fear#slowly discovering the other names the ship has and slowly but surely integrating myself in there. like a fungus#tma#the magnus archives#art cabinet#tim stoker#martin blackwood#martim#timartin#need to go listen to them bicker again. please where is the compilation they need one like jonmartin. <<< can you tell I'm desperate
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The Boys
#death note#nearlymellodramattic#damn why is that name so long#nate river#mihael keehl#mail jeevas#near#mello#my gifs#half of the budget of the second part went straight to animate mello's hair in that scene#canon knew they would have too powerful working together so they had to nerf them#i wish i had more scenes of matt to gif man say whatever you want about his kitchen mittens i love them#i love them so much you don't GET IT like im literally insane about them they have all my heart im going ill
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sin eater
#sorry its been a minute!!! the horrors. you understand.#anyways yall ready for another gloom tag essay because here we go!!!#im constantly thinking about the ramifications of uzi literally eating cyn and her now being apart of her.#specifically how it impacts uzi mentally. like dgmw i LOVE the silly cyntail shenanigans in fanart (ive also contributed to this) however#when i really think about it in relation to uzi's arc i go crazy insane#uzi is a character who is grasping for control after a lifetime of not having it.#she has no control over how her peers treat her. she has no control over khan neglecting her for reasons that arent her fault.#she quite literally has no control over the solver taking her over and making her do monstrous things against her will#which solidifies her feelings of being a freak monster who everyone was right to outcast and mistreat.#because im Unwell i interpret her calling herself god as a way to convince herself of having control- and to lock away feelings of impurity#if anyone is in control- if anyone is loved and cherished despite any and all wrong doings- its a god.#and that all comes to a head when she eats the heart of cyn thereby destroying the AS- a literal manifestation of a corrupted god- for good#finally taking back control from the entity that had been terrorizing and traumatizing both her and her loved ones. but did she really?#cyn is apart of her now. powerless sure- but that doesnt take away the horrors she wrought previously#and even so- has uzi ever stopped being just a host? do you think shes terrified of cyn regaining power out of the blue?#do you think uzi ever stops feeling like a monster?#“sin eating” was a thing that happened where someone would consume ritual foods to take on the sins of a recently deceased person#thus absolving said deceased person of any sins and putting them onto the sin eater. being a sin eater ensured eternal damnation.#and i just think about that a lot. when applying that (symbolically ofc(somewhat literally. she very much is a cyn eater)) to what uzi did.#“gloom you're reading way too much into this” THE LITTLE GOTH ROBOT. MAKES ME INSANE IN THE HEAD. OK!!!!!#gloom.art#murder drones#murder drones fanart#murder drones uzi#uzi murder drones#uzi doorman#uzi md#md uzi#uzi fanart
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The fact that Iroh never stops calling him Prince Zuko. Even when they’re begging on the street or camping in the wilderness, when Zuko is at his lowest, when he doesn’t even know where his destiny lies, when he feels like anything but royalty, Iroh never stops reminding him who he is. Never stops calling him Prince.
I’m going to go eat glass btw
#and other hot takes from 2009#atla#IM LITERALLY LOSING MY SHIT OVER THEM ONCE AGAIN#atla is one of those shows you just have to do a rewatch of every few years#so you can go insane and cry and blow up forever
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I keep thinking about Merlin’s love for Arthur and how it’s so clearly portrayed in the show to the point that it practically drives the plot of the show. However when it comes to Arthur’s love for Merlin it’s more subtle and sometimes difficult to even grasp, and I started thinking why that was, aside from the obvious fact that Arthur has a lot of trouble expressing his emotions affection or otherwise. I think it also lies in the fact that Merlin knows Arthur intrinsically throughout the show; he is one of the closest people to Arthur, and sees him for who he really is. Arthur admits as much.
Sure, Arthur knows Merlin but the main part of the plot is that he really doesn't know Merlin. Merlin wants him to desperately understand him and “see me for who I am” but he can't yet. And I think this subconsciously creates a barrier in the way in which Arthur can care for Merlin, and how Merlin can let himself be seen by Arthur.
Which is why I think he was also so hurt when the magic reveal happens because more than the betrayal of Merlin having magic, it was the betrayal of Merlin not letting Arthur see him for who he really is and for hiding a main part of himself. Arthur says it himself “why did you never tell me” that’s what hurt him the most.
I think the most damning piece of evidence for this is the fact that while we see snippets of Arthur’s feelings for Merlin thought the show, the biggest signs are in the last episode after the magic reveal; in which he finally gets to understand Merlin, and this time REALLY know Merlin, and as the barriers of what held them back from understanding each other truly fall away, Arthur evidently “falls in love with Merlin all over again”. We see him actually express himself to Merlin.
This is another reason why I think if anyone was ever to create another season of Merlin after Arthur’s return, it’s physically impossible not to make it about Merlin and Arthur acknowledging their feelings for each other. Because there is no way forward without them acknowledging how deeply they care for each other, obviously anyone is free to argue what kind of love that is, but its impossible not to see the deep love there either way.
They always knew they loved each other, just maybe never realising how much and what that means, because its almost second nature to everything that they do.
#merlin meta#bbc merlin#merthur#ignore me im literally just rambling#im not sure this even makes sense but i had to yap it out anyway!!#i think merlins love for Arthur surpasses his destiny in a way#He foresakes himself and his people just to ensure Arthur lives#but that turned out to be the undoing of them all#I cannot stress enough how insane this makes me#its sometimes harder to look at Arthur and understand how his love for merlin takes form#but the way he starts taking small steps to check in on merlin when he's being particularly quiet#or noticing the changes in merlin is a good indicator because it is so completely opposite his nature#and ofc the way in which he trusts merlin so completely#remember this is a man who has constant problems with people he chooses to trust#and he also shows time and time again how far he's willing to go beyond the accepted norms to also protect merlin#I think it was always harder for him to allow himself to open about his emotions#and it was much easier to keep it under lock and key to avoid it being seen as a weakness#Obviously thanks to Uthers A+ parenting which could not have helped#but as the seasons go on he begins to open up and thats no small part in thanks to merlins influence in his life#and when it comes to the finale they are both boiled down to raw emotion having to face each other#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon
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just discovered that not only are there magireco witches present in the newest trailer for walpurgis rising, but they're all the witches of the girls who were involved in the factor of despair events that happened right before eos.....
chat what the actual hell are they cooking
#im literally going insane#HOW FAR DOES THE RABBIT HOLE GO SHAFT?? WERE THE HIDDEN IMAGES NOT ENOUGH?????????#I THINK I ALSO SPOTTED NEMU AND MANAKA'S WITCHES BUT IM NOT TOO SURE ITS HARD TO IDENTIFY THEM#IS THAT WHY WE GOT THOSE EVENTS OUT OF THE BLUE LIKE THAT????????????#magia record#madoka magica#walpurgisnacht rising
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something stupid that's been cooking in my brain for a while MOOTS LOOK AWAY
#cannibalism mention#its a silly joke but just in case#i think he would just say something completely out of pocket and everyone around them thinks hes insane but kaeyas just like#“oh yeah he just does that sometimes”#also this is so messy i just had to finish it before i go to bed#sidenote i literally feel so insane sometimes when im ranting about them to ppl who dont even ship them TvT#childe#genshin childe#tartaglia#kaeya#kaeya alberich#genshin kaeya#genshin impact#chaeya
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YALLS TAGGSSSSSS IM GONNA BE FERALLLL
#IM SO HAPPY WITH HOW PART 3 CAME OUT TYSM FOR THE SUPPORT AND PRAISE ;.;#i GOTTA do an explanation for this part#y’all are on point about pointing out how fickle 24 is between being silly and being genuinely unsettling and manipulative#poor xisuma who is agreeing to things he shouldn’t#and WOULDN’T in normal circumstances#xisuma who is being eerily cheery and agreeable#the juxtaposition between the sense that this is going to go terribly terribly wrong vs. xisuma being hopeful and excited#dbhc#dbhc sillies#the shepherd#my sona#I’m literally insane about them#if y’all could see Xisuma’s playlist. sighs#art escapades
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patrick haunting the artashi marriage I love this for him
(I'm @/cowboygansey on tiktok!!)
#are you really homewrecking if you had both of them first?#im going with no#patrick zweig i love you#patrick zweig#art donaldson#tashi duncan#artrick#challengers#challengers 2024#also i heard this song yesterday and literally went so insane over how them it was#also also i see this as the first part being directed at art#and the second part at tashi#if that makes sense
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dey're like his wingmen
#bucchigiri?!#bucchigiri#bucchigiri fanart#matakara asamine#tomoshibi arajin#zabu#komao#idk how to draw any of them#trying to draw anime hair makes me feel like throwing up + also throwing myself in a ditch#help meeee#guys. guys. guys. g#hello my brain. can i hyperfixcate on like anything else#i'm like actually going bonkers insane i'm tweaking#i've had work every day since it aired and im losing it every break i have i just be searching up bucchigiri on every site istg#I FORGOT TO VCOLOR THEIR ARMBANDS 👎#and i realizing somehow only now i drew komao's skirt too short he is oging to get dress coded i fear#matakara is sooo cute he looks so ouppy#I DIDNT KNOW SENYA WAOULD BE SO SILLY BILLYYYY EITHER#LIKE WHAT R U BEING A CUTIE PATOOTIE MAKING :3 FACES FOR!!!#me actting shocked that an original anime that literally came out 4 days ago doesnt have a million billion fans 😨😱???#thair heights are messed up my bad whatever#zabu kakeru#sakigake komao
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sam and frodo’s relationship is so crazy theyre like what if we had a homoerotic adventurer’s bond that was so strong it overcame the power of supreme evil, saving not just the world but one another, and the only reason we were able to survive the violence around us was through sheer love for each other, and although we’re not canonically lovers our relationship is so much more intimate and tender than acceptable norms for male/male relationships that we transcend easily definable labels and thus become queer irregardless of whether our attraction is platonic, romantic, or sexual…and we were both hobbits
#literally going insane over them#sam/frodo is just so POWERFUL#sorry i just finished return of the king after watching the trilogy for the first time#needless to say its done a number on me emotionally#i blame elijah wood and the heartbreaking love in his eyes when he says im glad to be with samwise gamgee at the end of all things#and i also blame sean astin and the way he says dont go where i cant follow#absolutely stunning brilliant magnificent#the lord of the rings#the fellowship of the ring#the two towers#the return of the king#lotr#sam/frodo#frodo baggins#samwise gamgee#frodo x sam#jrr tolkien#alex talks#samfro#fav#greatest hits#1k
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