#IF I DONT HAVE A JOB WITH HIGH PAY—
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I DONT EVEN HAVE AN EXTRA HOLIDAY BUT MY BROTHER GETS EXTRA 2?!?!?!?!??!?!
sucks are those festives that come on Sunday. ( means free college for a full week )
#im yapping so much cause ive nothing to write or do#rotting in bed wondering what I saw in there in my college#was so happy before but now I regret cause june july months suck#they dont have festives and no holidays#one festive ONE UNIQUE FESTIVE comes on SUNDAY#so no holidays but ny bro gets 2 extra.#ITS FUCKING RAINING and some schools get rain check holidays#AND ME????? FUCKING DISSOLVE IN WATER BUT GET HERE#oh i love my colllege#IF I DONT HAVE A JOB WITH HIGH PAY—#someone help I am losing it T^T#nounou rambles
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
weird 2 say but sometimes i wish i was more into hobby/medium so id have an excuse or wasteless purpose to get more of it. Like. Wish I had purpose within watercolor illustration and as a medium in general so I could get those fancy artisinal watercolors just bc they look so beautiful
#(and i also wish i had a high paying job to support this bc some of those thangs are so expensive)#i know quality differs between em but i also dont care i just like pretty colors#its like how i got cheap alcohol markers i sparsely use but i dont regret it bc i love looking at them...#makes me happy to have a rainbow of pleasant looking supplies near me#i would NOT drop the money on artisinal watercolors though bc thats too much for something i wont use but god theyre so pretty#i see single pans of gorgeous colors and i wish i had a reason to Own it...and put it to use#talkys#like it would not be enough to have them i want to have them AND use them
89 notes
·
View notes
Note
so sorry if this is a stupid question but like... how do u age up characters, not like literally but like in a writing sence (cause ur suo fics were honestly amazing)
this isn't a stupid question at all, it's actually something I struggle a lot with LOL and I'm glad to hear that you liked how I handled it in my suo fics - thank you for reading 🥺!
here are the approaches I take to generally ageing people up:
think about their canon characterization - not just their traits and habits, but also their motivations/values and where their character arc is heading
think about what kind of path they'd be heading toward as an adulthood (in material, mundane terms - university, type of work, relationships, major life events, etc). sometimes the series will give you careers they're heading towards, but wherever that's not the case, I usually like to stick to very realistic career paths because it grounds them into a realistic kind of adult context that we would be able to relate to. if they're getting into some kind of exceptional career (like, for instance, yakuza membership lol, but even if I kept them in delinquent groups like shishitoren or roppo-ichiza), then I usually go out of my way to justify it.
now this is the tricky part - think about how the events of their adulthood would affect their motivations/values, traits, habits, and larger character arc. the motivations/values and character arc pieces are very important, because it basically defines the adult characterization. (that's why so much of the suo fic revolves around his master and the effect of losing him, and what it does to his values and character arc!)
I also like to think about how other, normal adults would perceive this new aged-up version of them - the typical salaryman, the typical convenience store worker, etc. I find it helps recontextualize the character away from the canon setting and toward a more realistic, adult context. this is mostly so I'm not viewing the character through rose coloured glasses as I'm writing them lol (eg, someone who may be charming to us because of our attachment to them in canon might in fact be a neurotic loser to the average well-adjusted adult).
sorry I yapped so much rip - hopefully this helps!!!!
#fyi the average delinquent nowadays in japan tends to age out of the behaviour and become a regular member of society#after high school#so in the suo fic universe most of them went onto normal jobs and didnt stay on as bofurin or shishitoren#or continue with any kind of crime#suo is a complete freak for having gone into organized crime LMFAOOO#and even sakura only ended up in the red light district and roppo ichiza because i dont think he would have#many other opportunities open to him in terms of career path#like i dont think our boy is going to uni#but! it's a good place for him :) he works an honest job at a bar somewhere and helps clean up petty crime with roppo ichiza#pays his taxes and has a savings account. has friends and loved ones. very nonviolent overall#umemiya and kaji have mortgages in this universe#i cant stress enough how suo is a literal freak in comparison to the rest of them LMFAO#yueshuo.asks#asks.anon#yakuza suo tag#<- for these tags
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
love this part of my life where the things that are difficult but challenging and good for me are things i can stop and skip and halfass, but the things that are difficult and painful and pointless are the things i have to live with no matter what
#school and home life are too much to handle so i skip school#because i cant kick my parents out#and appartments cost money#and i dont have a car to sleep in#i could maybe try to dig up my old childhood tent but that brings a whole host of logistic questions + im scared and it's difficult#anyway. it's fine. it's cool. i just have to hold on until i graduate high shcool and then ?????#find a way to live without my parents money OR scholarships#all for some nebulous end goal of having a job (the only field i'm interested in and good at offers two options:#to become an academic#or to become a freelancer#i do not have the fortitude to be an academic and being a freelancer is convoluted and pays like shit)#i might've spent 24h without my parents occasionally if i spent the night at a friend's place once or twice recently#but besides that the last time i've gone 48h without my parents was when the mental health center organised a week camp uhhhh...#two summers ago#incredibly good for my mental health as you can see#god i remember like... years ago. around 13yo maybe or 14. a guy. i dont know if he was a mental health professional or like social cases#but anyway he told me ''you're too afraid to be away from mommy and daddy'' and it made me want to rip his eyes out#several other people have implied or suggested that too over the years and it's just#am i too dependant on my parents? yes. will it be difficult to take my independance? yes.#does it means i don't both rationally recognize and feel that this is really fucking unhealthy and hindering for me#on top of being unpleasant?#FUCK NO#i want out my guy. there's just not many opportunities for an already mentally ill teenager#now that i'm eighteen i have to grapple with the logistical problems of the money needed and how to continue my education#and im sure a billion more if i start searching a little more seriously#perhaps i should kill myself that way i don't cost anyone any more money#broadcasting my misery#vent
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
AHHHHHH
#this post brought to you by: me#i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses#i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP#like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready#anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT#and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk#and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message#even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL#AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!!#i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year#i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17?#ive had a good well paying job since i was 18.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job#which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind#so theres no point staying here.#i might never have this kind of job security again.#but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something#on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now#on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT#but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to#richard started yelling and swearing el oh el#might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible?#but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option#the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going#idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks#this is why i want to get out of here#also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about#not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey!#if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
english is the only thing im good at. it's the only thing that ever made me feel proud. i knew for so long that it was my purpose. i can't do nothing but translate and i will never make a living with the only thing i ever felt passion for. i'm stuck like this because i can't even find the will to finish high school and i hate myself so much for it. no amount of volunteering or anglophone friends will fill me if i can't have a job to prove how fucking good i am.
#saw a girl that I can't even describe what kind of relationship we had working at this place and i just started crying akl the way back home#trying to explain to my boyfriend what the fuck happened to me#she's puerto rican she was raised speaking english she knows but i knew more and it's such an asshole thing to say but i was so proud#that i was better than her. i learned bt myself and i knew so much more.#and im so envious that she gets to work teaching english and i don't. and it's literally because i was just too stupid to finish high school#lmao#i was doing so fucking good in university. i really really was. and then covid 💀#im sad now#we still dont have a fridge so i had to do the walk of shame to my mom's to take our stuff there#oh poor thing u cant afford a new one no i cant👍no we didn't even have that much stuff to begin with👍no i still dont have a serious job👍#nope they don't pay me it's volunteer👍
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
im finally not jobless
it took me 200+ applications (not on indeed but directly on compan websites) and almost 2 years since graduating college (WHERE I EARNED A BACHELORS WITH CUM LAUDE HONORS). im 24 years old and i was just now able to secure a job that wasn't given to me out of pity. it should NOT have taken me 6 years of adulthood to get even a chance at having a normal life, out of those 200 applications i only had 3 interviews, all online except for this final one. it should NOT be this hard to get a job in a country with help wanted signs everywhere. i wish every single ceo/boss/boomer in this country had to go through the pain and suffering of job hunting when you have no nepotism to help you.
#my 1st job was chipotle. my friend was manager and her manager said he wouldnt have hired me if she wasnt my friend#thats such a cold thing to say to someone#i only lasted 2 weeks because my feet were bleeding from standing all day and i couldnt handle the amount of work for the pay. and customer#my 2nd job was a factory type job where my mom and dad work. i was being yelled at by my mom/supervisor all day and only getting a few hrs#of sleep because i was still a full time student#i lasted 3 months#my 3rd job was being a caregiver for my aunt who had a stroke. she died in december#its so upsetting typing out the amount time i wasted trying to get SOMEWHERE in life#i dont even have a car because ive never had enough money. no apartment after college#ive suffered too long#i didnt expect to get this one. i have clear social anxiety with autistic traits#maybe because i expected nothing i managed to survive the interview#this job only required a high school diploma. i think they still wouldnt have hired me if i didnt go to college#job hunting#new job#suffering#pain#recruitment#united states#personal rant#rant post#crying#nepotism#boomer#$17 an hour. originally it was $14 on the application.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m so excited I’m like literally shaking
#so I work at like seasonal job multiple stores and shit some more far out and in the boonies than others#and like before I was at my current job I managed this shitshow camp store#literally was so horrible but only bcs my boss sucked and pushed all his responsibilities to me while I still had to do MY JOB#like darkest time of my life trying to keep that store from falling apart until eventually I was like fuck this#transferee to a different property in a different state and like stalked this lady who would come help us and she hired me as her assistant#like truly amazing I love her so much my boss is the fucking best#but now at my property we have a camp store with no manager being run to the ground#so they asked me to go manage it…#and lLIKEEEE ITS IN THE HIGH CIUNTRY#SOOO NO SERVICE LIVING IN A TENT SHARED SHOWER DORMS#IM SO EXCITEDDD#and also I’ll be at 9k feet elevation SO ILL SEE STARSS!#im at 5thoussnd feet rn and it’s just not the same#my shitty store was at 7 thousand but the year before I lived at 8 thousand feet and the stars are so magical#but everyone else I work with feels bad I ‘have to’ go up there and run the store for a few weeks#I’m like literally MY PLEASURE#working in a camp store is literally summer camp vibes#and I’m such a retail girl boss they didn’t even brief me they were like you know how to open and close a store#AND I DONT HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF INVOICESSS#that was my nightmare at the last place like they taught all the managers how to recieve and pay invoices but no one else really understood#sooo like a day before months end when invocies HAVE to be paid I’d get stacks from every store on property#and like just my store was already a lot to go through bcs we did groceries and gas and beer and retail merch#but lol I came to my current place and they have a whole office just for that lotta sweet lady’s in accounting I’m like damn??#they did me so dirty????#best part about being a warehouse girl with previous retail management experience is thissss#pray for me though I haven’t managed other humans in 2 years and they’re union employees so I just have to follow all the rules#love the union but I’m scared of breaking any labor laws since I’ve never managed humans in the state in living in#last state was horrible there was no lunch break laws
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
How much time in a day do you think you do art? Personally do you think that's a good amount?
i couldn't say, my days are unstructured. i sleep very late because i can only get in the zone when everyone's asleep and wont bother me, but im prone to distraction when I get to do whatever i want, too.
i wake up late without enough sleep and end up loafed and in bed for a good chunk of the day (and night) trying to regain energy (and daydreaming)... cant draw much during the day regardless of being left alone or not bc i get frustrated having to anticipate things like eating....i just want to get in the zone for hrs and not have to care abt such things...
whatever the amount is its definitely not enough and i was going to try to actually calculate it before i realized itd just make me sad. all i do is waste time
#im not having a good brain day so i dont want to make it worse#skunk mail#Anonymous#can u imagine being unemployed with 0 responsibilities + 0 socializing and still being this lazy#idek how ill draw or improve much when i have a job#and have to fight harder to keep myself sane and alive#there's people studying for their intensive degrees for high paying jobs who are doing better at art than me bc they dont waste time#and arent stupid#also ''bother me'' sounds a little mean...bothering cld mean anything thats why it sucks#sometimes i Want to go out so i cant draw because im anticipating my parents going out and me being able to tag along#so i cant focus bc what if i have to do something in a few hrs
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
good morning kazui nation the theory of kazui having very traditional gender-role parent(s) stays winning
#conflicted between sobbing in the corner and being excited over more evidence for that theory#like he wanted kazui to grow up to be a strong man?? to have a high paying traditionally masculine job???#i dont think its that much of a stretch to say he was very opinionated on who kazui could marry either / when that should happen (young)#he/kazui's parents in general are the reason he felt obligated to marry hinako (send tweet)#milgram#kazui mukuhara
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate how every job says they're looking for a person like this because I am none of those things? Where are the jobs willing to pay top dollar for an unmotivated unprofessional cold unpersonable non starter who is disorganized and pays very little attention to detail?
#also i wish my guidance counselor in high school had sat me down and said dont go to college without a career plan#instead of what he did do which was tell me my grades are so good i absolutely should go to college#wish he had said at least make sure you get an aa in like accounting or something to fall back on#am i bitter about never finding a job that uses my degree that wouldnt also include needing grad school?#kinda#capitalism makes fools of us all#crap#its shut down week at the ethanol plant that does nothing with my english or fine art degrees#and also nothing with my 15 years of retail and customer service experience either lmao#i fucking hate shut down so much it is inevitable i start thinking of quitting even tho i am making more money than i have in my life#how fucking insane is it that jobs that require a masters degree will pay 15 an hour and yet this job that requires a ged at most starts at#like 25 and this plant actually starts low judging by what other plants are offering like damn#every job ive ever had needed no degree at all how much farther ahead would i be if id just gone straight to work?#like i fucking loved the college experience but it didnt do a fucking thing for me other than saddle me with life crushing debt
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
hmmmmmm.................vent post under tags...... feel free to give advice or dont¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#i think this is an autism related thing#but i genuinely feel like i wasnt made right for the world we live in#like something is just missing from me that ive never seen ppl talk about#and i know this is going to sound entitled and privileged and i KNOW i know i promise and im so lucky i can even be thinking about this but#it feels weird to have the privilege to be scared#this is specifically in regards to working#like having a job. like going to work#i feel like im missing an extremely important part of my brain or my BEING that is capable ot going through the motions of participating#in society. i never felt that switch of wanting to get a job in high school to make money for myself and get that experience#i feel like there's something i MISSED where everyone took a class on how to apply and go to interviews and write resumes and not be scared#like i NEED to be walked through every SINGLE step because i dont know HOW#and i see my peers and the literal entire world around me participating in this atmosphere and i dont know where to start#im fucking twenty three years old and ive only ever been an intern and an assistant#not even a full year of working#i cant drive and i probably wont ever because thats a whole other can of worms#and that means i have to rely on other people to even get to wherever it was i needed to go#i feel like a fucking child because im missing this knowledge that everyone else seems to have#ive tried i really have but none of it seems simple and its all so much and there arent steps to follow#i mean there ARE but its like 1) look up job 2) apply 3) interview 4) yay you're employed#and im talking about each micro step inbetween#what am i missing#and then theres the fucking demand avoidance that slaps me across the face whenever my mom brings it up to me like i KNOW youre being#supportive and encouraging and its not your fault my brain turns off and decides im full of shame bc i cant CONFRONT ANYTHING#jesus christ#manf i know u can see this maybe dont bring it up to mom i can do that on my own maybe#i WANT to help i just want to help at my own pace but unfortunately the world isnt built around individual paces and nothing revolves#around me. i know this#i want to help my mom i want her to never be stressed about money and to retire and never work or help me pay my student loans but i#genuinely feel like theres a switch that never turned on in my head and im being left behind and i genuinely dont know how to. like be alive
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
work anxiety starting before work itself hahahahaahahahahahahhhaha
#IM BAKCIJ THE FUCKIGN BUIDLIGN .AGAIN. AUSUSUXHEHWHGLHKF#im grateful i have an internship for this summer with the way the job market is like currently.#im grateful that i have the opportunity to lessen the burden on my parents shoulders. im grateful that this job can pay rent and groceries#and tuition for a few terms im grateful i get to gain experience while still in school that will hekp me in the future#IM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THIS!!!!! BUT STILL I FUCLING HATE EVERYTHJGN#i hate being unable to eat anything ir sleep at night bc all i can think about is shit i have work tomorrow i have to email this guy and#finish these tasks and impress my manager and be approachable and enthusiastic and eager to learn and not make any mistakes#and not fail anything bc im getting graded on this its alwags grades its always the fucking grades#isnt it. it was the grades that had me crying on walks home from school when i was 9 and it was grades that made me waste away 9th grade#it was grades that made me unable to stomach anything during weeks with tests and it was and is still grades that#dictate every single fucking part of my life#and even tho the ppl who used to yell at me for getting a B in math in 5th grade are no longer yelling at me for getting 60s in linear algeb#ra and stats and calculus and cs#haha.ha when ur university is famous for its.. horribly high suicdie rates#i find that the yelling comes from me now. ive replaced the adults who would sit beside me at the dinner table#yelling bc yea guess what 8 year old me didnt understand division at first#god i hate this school so much. i hate what im studying im gratefula nd am so privileged to be ahle to further my educarion and receive#all these experiences mot everyone can have but god everytime i return to the city where the school is#i feel like throwing up and sobbing and just never ipening my eyes again#haha yea. i hope i csn get a job to support myself in the future#i hope i can still have time for hobbies#why si everyone at school so good at everything#ive met more people who have passed their rcm 10 and arct exams for piano than those who havent#i have classes with people who have already published research papers with professors in the states#my classmates can breeze through a cs assignment while still playing fir varisty teams. working out everyday. goijg ti parties.#eating and cooking balsnced meals each week. having a social life..the whole combo#meanwhile i get overwhelmed because i have to respond to an email and finish an assignment in one day#how do i become like them#why was this about work anxiety at first and why is it about the eternal imposter syndrome and lack of self confidence#i just want money man... i dont give a shit about snything anymore
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I did beta testing for sparkle and really liked using her so I wanted her. I just got so many characters back to back like kafka, e6 dhil, black swan...I wanted them all and glad I got them
well miss sparkle definitely wanted to be stubborn as hell and decided she was actually going to give me up, let me down, run around, and try to desert me.....she made me cry, tried to say goodbye, told a lie and definitely hurt me. and my wallet.
I had to spend money on that fool. she made ME the fool. her ass is so annoying not just in the game but in my pulls too!!!! as expected tbh. I can hear her laughing at me.
#lee text#hsr#she sent yanqing home first at pretty high pity. i finished everything in the game. and only managed to get to around 30 pity for her#there's not much time left so i had to pay for her 💀 took 78. BUT SHES SUCH A GOOD SUPPORT just wish i can get her lightcone but doubt it#nothing else is as good as that one. but shes still good support especially for my sp hungry e6 dhil#problem is now.....i want acheron AND e6 jingliu lmao.#REMEMBER KIDS: SPEND MONEY WISELY im allowed to spend on this game. im an adult with a job and get $2k back in taxes this year#TREAT YOURSELF. if you can afford it. dont gacha if you cant pay bills or have food. if you can afford it go crazy i guess idk#know when you have a gambling addiction and get help. if you can choose responsibly then you're fine. i gacha responsibly i promise#im just mad its sparkle that took my money instead of spending it on working towards e6 jingliu maybe#i did manage to e6 dhil without spending so i mean. is possible but also keep wanting other characters too fbddbhdhdhd
3 notes
·
View notes