#I've only had about 6 or 7 interviews

[dragonatthedinnertable]

Today I sent my 100th job application.

[kjupchurch-xx]

12 Years In The Making - Tumblr Request

"Love, remember, we're having dinner tonight, don't make plans." Hugh yelled from the bathroom as he was shaving his face. 

I smiled, "I know, babe. I haven't forgotten. I'll make sure I'm free and finished up with my interview before 7." I said as I re-checked my dress. 

Tonight, was Hugh and I's tenth wedding anniversary. Normally, we'd be on a trip like we did every year for our anniversary, but I had just celebrated the premiere of a movie I'd been filming for the last year, so that halted our anniversary vacation plans. Our kids were visiting with Hugh's mother, Grace while she was in town, so we had the house to ourselves for the night. Hugh's older kids, Oscar and Ava were going to be joining us for dinner tonight. 

In 2012, Hugh and I met whilst working on a movie set together and immediately began dating. I was 22 and he was going on 44 years old. He'd been divorced from his ex-wife for about 9 months at that time. His kids were around 7 and 12 at the time. We married in 2014 with a quiet beachfront ceremony in Australia, surrounded by our immediate families, his children and a few of our closest friends. Our ceremony was more intimate than anything, with Hugh tearing up seeing me accompanied down the beach by my father. 

In 2015, we found out we were expecting our first child, Hugh's first biological child. Our daughter was born in early 2016. Our second daughter was born in 2019, with our son being born in 2022, just two years ago. Our kids were now 8, 5 and 2. Despite being a huge blended family, he knows I would never be caught dead driving a mini van or a "mom car". While he drives the luxury SUVs, mom still drives the Audi RX8 and occasionally a Dodge Charger if I have the babies in the backseat. 

I was shaken from my thoughts by a kiss on the cheek, "You look beautiful, baby." He said softly in my ear as he smiled at me. 

I blushed, "Thank you. Where are we going tonight?" I asked, knowing he would never tell me, but always hopeful that he'd slip up one day and spoil a surprise. 

He smirked at me as he shook his head, "Now Darling, you know if I told you where we were going, it would spoil the surprise." 

I playfully rolled my eyes, "How am I supposed to know where to meet you after my interview if I don't know where you're taking me to dinner?" I asked, trying to catch him up once more. 

He chuckled as he pressed a kiss on the top of my head, "You're meeting me at the first place I took you when you moved to New York. That is the only hint I'm giving you." 

Stefanos. Stefanos was the first place Hugh took me for dinner once I'd officially moved in with him, in 2013. It was a beautiful, high-end Italian restaurant. He'd picked it because he knew Italian was my favorite type of cuisine. 

I smiled as I pulled him in for a kiss, "I've gotta go or else I'm gonna be late." I mumbled against his lips.

He smirked against my lips, mumbling back, "You can be fashionably late, love. I would love to ravage you right here." 

I giggled, "As much as I want to, and you know I have a hard time turning you down, I have to go... but, later tonight, I promise I'll make it up to you." I said seductively while slowly grazing my hand over the crotch of his pants. 

He laughed, almost shivering at my touch, "This is why we have three kids." He said nonchalantly. 

I laughed as I grabbed my keys to head towards the door of our home, "Alright, I'll see you at 7." I said, smiling as I walked out of the house. 

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I quickly finished up my interview, noticing it was now 6:30, which meant I had to haul literal ass to Stefano's to get there by 7 to meet Hugh for our anniversary dinner. I grabbed my keys and wallet and began sprinting towards the elevator, then towards the parking garage where my car was parked. 

I managed to make it to Stefano's right at 6:59 on the dot to see Hugh standing outside of his SUV, looking at me. I quickly shut the engine off and jumped out, "I am so sorry I'm almost late. The interview finished at 6:30, traffic downtown was a nightmare." I said almost anxiety ridden from the traffic. 

He giggled, "It's okay, love... But I lied to you. We're not eating at Stefano's." He smirked, trying to keep a straight face. 

I looked at him almost wide eyed, "Why did you make me rush to Stefano's then?" I asked, getting a bit annoyed. 

Traffic and anxiety were not my friend, clearly. Luckily, my husband knew this and never took it personally. 

He chuckled at me as he walked up to me and kissed me, "Because you kept insisting that I tell you where I was taking you." He said cockily. 

I sighed, chuckling as I rolled my eyes, wrapping my arms around his neck, "Okay, I learned my lesson. Now seriously, what are we doing?" 

He pulled away from me and walked towards his SUV, "Get in and I'll take you to the actual place we're going." 

I shrugged my shoulders, "Okay." I said as I grabbed my wallet out of my Audi, locking the car and getting into his SUV. 

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Hugh drove for another 10 minutes, while his free hand interlocked its fingers with mine. The ride was filled with him happily singing along to songs on the radio. I noticed we were pulling up at an event venue and looked over at him. 

He knew I was going to, considering he was smiling at me as he parked the car. "What are we doing, Jackman?" I asked, almost suspiciously, raising one brow at him. 

He chuckled cheekily, "We're doing another press interview." He said casually. 

I squinted my eyes, "This is not a very good surprise." I said sarcastically. 

He rolled his eyes, shutting the car off and getting out, "Just come on." He said, mocking annoyance. 

I got out of the SUV as he came over and linked his arm with mine as we began walking towards the entrance of the venue. 

"Is this seriously a press interview?" I asked, noticing all of the cars in the parking lot. 

He nodded, "Okay, it's not a press interview. We're going to Ryan and Blake's wrap party, but I promise, I am taking you to dinner afterwards." He said as we continued walking. 

I sighed. It was our tenth wedding anniversary. As much as I loved and adored Ryan and Blake, I wanted to celebrate my anniversary. I didn't care to be celebrating everyone else tonight. This was out of the ordinary for Hugh, but with how busy he'd been with the press for Deadpool & Wolverine, I'm not too surprised our anniversary had slipped to the back burner. 

As we approached the entrance, his grip on my arm tightened as he pulled me closer, wrapping one arm around my waist. As we entered the venue, I immediately spotted Blake and Ryan, and a group of people I hadn't yet recognized or paid much attention to. There were pictures of Blake's new film, It Ends With Us plastered near the stage area. 

Blake and Ryan approached us, "About time you two made it. We were getting ready to post your numbers on a billboard." Ryan joked. 

Hugh and I laughed, "Thanks for coming, you too. I know it's your anniversary, you can blame him for the poor planning." Blake said sympathetically as she shot Ryan a glare. 

I smiled as I hugged her, "It's okay. Thank you for having us." I said, hiding my disappointment. 

"Mommy!" I heard yell as I felt two small arms wrap around my waist. 

I chuckled as I looked down to see our middle daughter hugging my waist, "Hey boo, where's grandma Grace?" I asked her as I rubbed her hair. 

She shrugged, "She's talking to uncle Shawn." Our daughter said as she pointed over to Shawn Levy, who was in fact chatting it up with my mother-in-law, as she held our two year old son on her hip. 

I giggled, as Hugh asked her, "What about daddy? You didn't miss me?" He playfully pouted. 

She giggled as she playfully shook her head no, still holding onto my waist. 

Our 5-year-old was a bit...scared of daddy after seeing him on the set for Deadpool and Wolverine. She truly believed daddy had claws that come out of his hands when he's upset, which has been hilarious and a bit aggravating convincing her that Daddy indeed does not have claws that come out of his knuckles. 

I stooped down to look at her, "You better give daddy a hug." I said playfully, trying to sound firm. 

She shook her head no, "Mommy, daddy has claws that come out of him hands." She said as matter of factly. 

Hugh tried hard to not show his laughter as he watched our interaction. 

I shrugged, "I know he does." I nodded, "If you don't hug him, I think they might come out. Quick, hurry!" I said dramatically to her, lightly pushing her towards Hugh. 

Ryan was having a hard time holding his laughter back as he watched me interact with my daughter, while Hugh shot me a glare, trying also to not laugh as our daughter nervously walked over and hugged her dad. 

Hugh shook his head at me as he picked her up, "Baby, daddy does not have claws. Your mommy just says that because she's got them and doesn't want you to know the truth." He said sarcastically as he stuck his tongue out at me. 

As we walked further into the venue, I began noticing the people in the crowd. I saw my family, Hugh's siblings, his mother of course, a bunch of our friends, my step children, etc. 

I looked towards Hugh, "Did you fly my family here for Ryan and Blake's wrap party?" I asked almost in disbelief. 

He smirked, "I flew your family here for your gift, baby." 

I looked at him, puzzled. "I'm so confused right now." 

He chuckled as he sat our daughter down, "I've got to go give a speech for Blake. I'll be back." He said quickly as he walked over towards the stage, grabbing a microphone, tapping it to make sure it's on.

Our daughter ran to play with the other kids as my family approached me, showering me in hugs. My family did not live in New York, they lived further down south. Hugh always made sure to fly them up for any special occasion. He knew it meant the world to me whenever he'd include them in anything we did. 

Hugh began speaking into the microphone, "Hello everyone. " He said with a smile, "Tonight, we're here to celebrate the premiere of Blake's new film." He continued as he smiled towards Blake and Ryan. "I just want to say, I appreciate each and every one of you for coming tonight. Planning this event has been stressful because I did not want to risk my wife finding out." He smirked towards me, laughing nervously. 

I looked up at him, shooting him a glare. So he couldn't plan something for our anniversary, but he could take the time to plan something for our friend's movie release. I noticed Ryan and Blake looking over at me, snickering. Hugh noticed my glare as he continued giggling nervously. 

"My wife thinks she's here to celebrate Blake's movie." He said as he smiled cheekily at me, "But actually baby, we're here to celebrate our anniversary." He said sweetly as my glare faded into an over-emotional expression. "Ten years ago, I married this beautiful, sexy, gorgeous woman. I met her twelve years ago to this very day, and I fell madly in love with her." He paused as I began to tear up. Our oldest daughter, who was 8 walked over and held my hand. 

I shook my head in disbelief that I'd actually thought he'd forgotten to plan something special. "Baby, this party is for you. You are an incredible mother to our children. You are an incredible wife. I am so blessed to be married to you and to share this life with you, even if you are difficult to deal with sometimes." He joked, causing me to chuckle while everyone began laughing. 

He smiled at me, "Come here, baby." He said as he motioned his hand for me to come up on the stage. 

I blushed shyly as I walked up towards the stage, taking his hand. "I love you. Happy 10 years, baby." he said sweetly as he pulled me into his arms, smiling at me. 

I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I love you too. Happy 10 years...and to many, many more..." I said as I pulled him in for a kiss.

[sweetsaladpainterranch]

Challenges in Raising a 6 Month Old Demon

Daddy Duty (your p.o.v.)

...

It was 7:30 am in the lobby of the Hazbin Hotel and you were preparing to leave to accompany Charlie and Vaggie. to the Vee Tower in order to conduct a new interview with Katie Killjoy for the furtherment of the redemption project. However, this means that you must leave your husband alone with your fawn in the hotel for the entirety of the day for the first time since she was born. To say that you sensed some amount of trepidation from the buck was an understatement, but you knew he’d rather kiss Angel before he’d admit to any weakness. (Plus the spider demon promised to assist if needed.)

“Darling, you’ve absolutely nothing to worry about.”, he promised you again with a tense smile while you placed the latest report of redemption numbers and notices from Heaven into a travel case, “But are you quite sure that you are required for this venture with our fearless leader?”

You sighed and finished gathering your paperwork, “Alastor, you know how Charlie is with logistics documents. She doodles across all of them and no one can figure out what in the hot sauce is on them. Not even her!” You grimaced when you remembered the last meeting at the Heavenly Embassy when the princess passed out her crayon version of the documents to the awaiting angels. However, none could read them and she broke out in another duet with Emily. So, you, with an administrative background, took the role as logistics coordinator for the hotel and forbade her from touching any more paperwork.

“It’s just one afternoon, love.”, as you walked toward the entry doors and to the waiting car, “There are spare diapers and clothes in the nursery for Evangeline, but she shouldn’t wake until 9. I have every confidence in your abilities.”

You leaned in and whispered low in his ear, "Do NOT let me down, Alastor."

You didn't miss the strained grunt of static that echoed within his throat as you placed a tender kiss goodbye on your mate's blushing cheek.

...

They're fine. They're fine. They're probably fine... You chanted to yourself throughout the entirety of the interview. It went exactly as you thought it would.

Katie says something cutting to undermine the hotel

Charlie slowly loses her confidence and temper

Vaggie encourages Charlie (which leads to an upbeat, determined song about friendship)

By the 2nd chorus, you stood by the camera with raised cue cards, with the redemption numbers that you had prepared in case things got off track, and made eye contact with Vaggie to return to the matter at hand. She took a deep breath to calm herself and began to rein her girlfriend in with a gentle hand to the shoulder. The princess instantly relaxed and shot the small moth a grateful look full of love before continuing to list off the successes of her project on your cue card.

You knew that look well and sighed with relief that things would be fine (in spite of Tom Trench somehow spontaneously combusting and collapsing onto the floor).

But your mind continued to wonder back to Alastor and your daughter. She must have woke up by now and he must've gone to tend to her, but what if she didn't want to feed? What if you didn't leave the correct formula or what if they try to burn down the kitchen again and destroy the entire hotel??

You cringe as you remember the last sparing duel between the two deer demons (over who got the last cookie from Rosie's) that lead to an entire floor of guests being trapped in the shadow realm for a week...😑... The idiots loved each other fiercely as father and daughter ought to but they were far too much alike. Always ending up locking horns (or antlers) in, what you can only assume to be, a futile attempt at familial communication.

Your mind flooded itself with possible worse case scenarios involving the entire city falling prey to shadow nonsense.

No... they'll be fine. He knows how important this interview is and I've only been away for the afternoon. How much trouble could they possibly get into?

Fortunately you grounded yourself in Alastor's promise when you caught Charlie finishing up the interview with the video from Sir. Pentious in Heaven attesting to his new life. Emily had asked that he work with her on behalf of the Hell Embassy to properly integrate newly redeemed souls. You handed the disk to the tech director and smiled when the princess cocked her eyebrow at Killjoy in victory as the video proved her capabilities.

The loveable snake angel had just made his stuttered introduction when the large screen surged to show the city center. Katie shot up to cut off Vaggie and Charlie's protest with a middle finger in their faces, "We now interrupt this holy shit-fest with breaking news from the heart of our lovely city."

Everyone looked at the screen in confusion and, then, continued with a sneer, "It seems that our dear Princess's own hotel manager is currently tearing a war path through the city while holding a the famed pornstar, Angel Dust, hostage along with his daughter, Evangeline!" She noticed how your aura darkened considerably at the mention of your child and snickered the rest of her broadcast. "I guess the Radio Demon is teaching his spawn to torture the unsuspecting guests of Hazbin Hotel from a young age after all!" She casted a side eye to the dumbfounded Charlie, "Seems like such a good idea to check in, dear viewers...", sarcasm and venom dripped from her mouth.

Vaggie cursed in Spanish and rose from her seat with a spear as you could only stare in sheer disbelief (and raising anger) at what you were seeing.

Sure enough, it was indeed an airal shot of a large, black and red blur waving around tentacles through buildings as another, much smaller but still giant, blur hopped in-between the appendages with a flailing Angel Dust caught in one puggy hand.

You were gonna kill them!

...

Hey everyone, this is not my best work but I just needed to write something fun. I think I'm goin crazy with these babies in my house 😂😂

-SSPR

(Sorry, I didn't have time to edit it 😅)

[mirai-e-jump]

Animage December 2024 Issue Kamen Rider Gavv ft. Hino Yusuke Interview (translation below)

Publication: November 9, 2024

Letting his fighting spirit "melt" into his bullets

Even within the Kamen Rider series, which has enjoyed a history spanning over half a century, there are only a few who have been chosen to become a Kamen Rider with as much tragic resolve weighing on their shoulders as Karakida Hanto. Hanto's mother was kidnapped by a Granute when he was a child, and while investigating the Granutes, his mentor, Shioya Soji, loses his life. In order to avenge Shioya's death, he decided to accept the offer to undergo a life threatening remodification surgery from Suga Kenzo, someone who's researching a method to exterminate the Granutes. The result of his suffering is that he obtained the power to transform into Kamen Rider Valen.

Sometimes, he guesses a Granutes true identity based on the slightest bit of evidence, other times, he shows his kindness in order to support a girl who's chasing her dreams, and at other times, he shows his playful side by instinctively posing when the cameras are pointed at him……Being able to calmly consider the situation and remain open to one's emotions like that may be what's needed to confront the "monsters" that prey on people's happiness.

Although allies like Suga are currently present, Hanto's still pursuing information about the Granutes on his own. Will he be able to reach the enemy responsible for taking his mother from him? We hope you'll watch as Kamen Rider Valen's battle intensifies. _

-This also expands the range of Hanto's feeling-

"Since his first transformation in episode 6, Hanto's also been active as a Kamen Rider."

Hino: After the first transformation episode, I received heartfelt messages from tons of people, such as, "I'm looking forward to seeing what Valen will do going forward." I was also impressed by the response to the sequence of events leading up to the transformation, with comments like, "They're depicting a setting similar to a Showa Rider in a Reiwa Rider."

"It was a very unrefined first transformation scene."

Hino: It was my first transformation, and I was just trying to keep up with the flow of the performance, so I acted with conflicting feelings. I think it was because of the way Director Morota Satoshi said, "Let's make it this kind of taste," and created it on the spot that a sense of liveliness was born. This is one of my personal favorite scenes, as since I started this job, I've been working hard and doing my best, and I felt as though it connected me and Hanto.

"The avant garde exchange with Kamen Rider Gavv in episode 7 was also funny. He calls himself Valen, a name he associates with Valentine (laughs)."

Hino: That scene was fun to act out (laughs). I got into it as best as I could imagine, and the "In the end, the concept is still chocolate….." scene was given the OK with just one take. Still, I had a hard time at first deciding on which of the emotions from my previous performances to keep consistent. For everyone watching, a week has passed, but Hanto's just fought his mentor's enemy out of revenge, and he's still physically damaged. However, Sugi-san (Director Sugihara) told me to go all out, and since I myself like comedic scenes, I didn't hold back.

"Is there anything memorable from filming the transformation scene?"

Hino: For the fixed transformation pose from the second time onwards, I couldn't close the lever of the gun (Valen Buster) fully, or the Gochizou would pop out when I swung it downwards too aggressively, so I had to do alot of retakes until I got used to it (laughs). I remember having to work at it until I could make cool gestures and movements like a Kamen Rider. One of the Directors gave me some advice about the transformation, and it really struck me. It was, "It's a privilege for the chosen ones to be able to say "Henshin," and the word transformation must convey how the character is feeling as they fight." So, every time I transform, I'm conscious of how to convey my emotions in that moment.

"Once again, please tell us your impression of Hanto."

Hino: Hanto became lonely after losing his mother, met his mentor when he was acting like a delinquent, became his apprentice, and is looking for monsters in his work as a writer. He's someone who's had many experiences that I haven't had. I was conscious of this past before we started filming, and I thought that he was nothing like me. But as I talked with Screenwriter Komura Junko-san and Sugi-san, it was almost like Hanto came to me. While respecting what was different between me and him, I began to draw from my own clumsiness and roughness in order to become closer to Hanto.

"Considering he has a passionate side, and a serious backbone despite being silly, Hanto seems to have a wide range."

Hino: That's right. Shouma's pure and Sachika's a gyaru, but I think there are situations and relationships that are created by each and every one of Hanto's "faces." I'm challenging myself to widen my range, and not settle for, "This is just how Hanto is."

"You're thinking, "If this isn't Hanto, then this is," right?"

Hino: Yes. If I perform as Hanto, then I become Hanto, or to put it another way, it's my job to create Hanto, and I consider it rewarding.

"In episode 9, the most recent episode, we got a glimpse of Hanto's more mature side in a scene with Kirari."

Hino: I wanted to express Hanto's clumsy yet passionate attitude toward children in the scene where he consults with Kirari-chan in a friendly and helpful manner. In the scene before that, when the safety buzzer is set off, he's mistaken for a suspicious person even though he didn't mean it that way, which is typical of Hanto (laughs). I think it's a funny scene that shows off Hanto's cuteness.

-We hope that Hanto will be rewarded one day-

"What are your impressions of Kaji Kotaro-san, the Suit Actor who plays Valen?"

Hino: I feel that Kaji-san has a passionate kindness within him, and that he's pulling me along. Valen's actions are also broken down into a fighting style that's typical of Hanto, and I realized that we were creating one role together. We sometimes talk over a few drinks, and in a positive way, we have friendly competition, where we can say what we want to say to each other.

"What do you find important when doing post recording?"

Hino: Hanto has a wide range of expressions, but when he transforms into Valen, he's fighting a Granute, so I'm aware that he's in a state of hostility and wanting revenge. I try to avoid feeling strangely calm, I always act with the feeling that I'm risking my life.

"Maybe it's like you're switching over into battle mode."

Hino: That might be it. When I speak as Hanto, I go back to my natural self, so I think that this is fine.

"How's the atmosphere on set?"

Hino: Hide has a strong sense of responsibility as the main character, and thanks to his leadership, we were able to communicate with each other from the very beginning, and as filming progressed, the vibes between Shouma, Sachika, and Hanto were established. Hide and Miyabecchi tease me in a nice way, so I think we've established an equal relationship. In regards to Hide, I've always played younger brother characters, so I was alittle nervous that "the younger generation has appeared" (laughs), but he has a pure, brotherly cuteness to him that naturally makes me want to spoil him.

"Speaking of Hanto, we think the presence of his mentor, Shioya Soji, who was mentioned earlier, is significant."

Hino: Komatsu Toshimasa-san's performance gave me goosebumps…..! It's natural, subtle, convincing, yet very unconstrained. I feel a sense of respect for him and thought that I'd like to do a performance like that in the future. He's someone I truly want to call "mentor," and I think it was thanks to Komatsu-san that I was able to cry real tears in the scenes where Hanto cries thinking about his mentor.

"Now that Shioya's passed away, his interactions with Suga Kenzo at his lab are striking."

Hino: Suga's making a mess out of Hanto's life (laughs), but the scenes with Suga are also interesting to perform. The very beginning of the show is focused on Shouma and Sachika, and Hanto and Suga, but it was a valuable experience for me to be able to perform one on one with Asanuma Shintaro-san, as I learned alot from him. I'd seen some of the anime that Asanuma-san was in, but when I looked up his appearances, I was shocked and thought, "He was in this one too?!" I'm happy that we communicate with each other on set, talking about all sorts of things, from matters relating to personal life and acting.

"He's a reliable senior who's the complete opposite of Suga."

Hino: That's true (laughs). I think the gap between him and his role is interesting. I'm working together with him with alot of respect.

"Do you have a favorite anime?"

Hino: Most recently, I like "The Dangers in My Heart." Once I became an adult, I stopped watching romance series like that out of embarrassment, but when I watched The Dangers in My Heart for the first time in awhile, it made my heart skip a beat! I'd say that it gives off a sense of purity that only a middle school student can have, and injects you with emotions that we can't get in the real world….it's a really good series. I myself used to play soccer, so I watched alot of sports anime and manga such as "Haikyu!!," "Ace of Diamond," "SLAM DUNK," and "Major." Those are what got me addicted to watching real sports like the NBA.

"If you had to pick an anime that you especially like, what would it be?"

Hino: I love Kyoto Animation's "Beyond the Boundary," and not only have I seen the main TV series, but I've also watched the movie more than 10 times! I was in middle school at the time, and I used to imitate Kanbara Akihito, the main character who's obsessed with glasses, and say, "Pretty girls with glasses are nice, huh?" (laughs). I was so absorbed in it, that I even established a glasses research club at school using my authority as the student council president.

"Isn't that an abuse of power? (laughs)."

Hino: Of course, but it was an unofficial club, okay? (laughs). Now, I'll often watch live action movies and TV dramas in order to study acting, but before I became an actor, I was exposed to various works to the extent that I had a modest interest in them.

"In the future, are there any situations you'd like to perform as Hanto?"

Hino: Things like explosions are areas I haven't experienced yet. Falling into water……isn't a challenge I'm actively looking to take on (laughs). Personally, I'm interested in what would happen if Hanto were to experience something like love being directed toward him. Hanto lost his mother, and he's the type to have narrow, but deep relationships with people, so along with friendship and human affection, I think he's hungry for love. What I imagine is that in a peaceful world where he doesn't have to fight against the Granutes, Hanto will most likely develop a longing for family and a desire to overcome the trauma of losing his loved ones.

"Only painful things happen to him, so we hope it all works out for Hanto."

Hino: I really hope so. On the other hand though, there's something appealing about being unrewarded (laughs). While being the spice that enhances the excitement of Kamen Rider Gavv, I hope that Hanto will continue to be loved by everyone, and I too will continue to devote myself to Hanto with love and care every day!

[holidayinhell]

Interview

CWs: references to noncon, violence

1. Would you rather - Rope or Chains?

R: Rope.

W: Chains, dear god, chains any day. Ropes fucking burn.

2. If Whumpee had multiple Whumpers, who is their favourite? For Whumpers, which Whumpee was your favourite?

R: Yeah, I’ve got a favorite. A couple years back I had a Whumpee who fought me at every turn. He'd throw his food at me, cuss me out, and try to attack me. One time he scratched absolute shit outta my arms. Anyways, I got tired of his shitty attitude and decided to kill him. I didn't keep it a secret, I told him he was gonna die. But when I went in to do it, he changed completely. No more screaming, no spark in his eye. He got quiet. Heh, he got all lovey dovey with me even. You know, lots of people say they’ll do anything if only you’ll spare their life. I never did cash in on that promise, but on this Whumpee, I put it to the fucking test. Heh. He let me do whatever I wanted to him. Depraved, horrible things, that would make the most degenerate man blush. Heh, and even though he was crying through most of it, he still pretended to like everything I did to him. And god. You should’ve seen his eyes when I told him I was still gonna kill him. That look. I think about it still.

W: I can’t. glances over at Whumper. Next question please.

3: In your opinion, what is the best way to train a pet?

R: Humans are fickle fucking beasts. You have to break down someone’s pride in order to train them. I start off with food deprivation, that usually helps me gauge what kind of fight I’m in for.

W: Positive reinforcement has always worked for me… I’ve only ever had a pet bearded dragon though.

4: Broken ribs or bullet wound? 

R: Both.

W: These questions are uncomfortable to answer. But, uh, bullet wound I guess. Assuming it didn’t graze any organs.

5: Preferred type of gag? 

R: I like a fabric gag. Or a simple piece of duct tape. Sometimes they come off and I get to squeeze a little scream out of Whumpee, and then I put a fresh one right back on. I kinda like the cycle of it.

W: I don’t have a preference… none? I guess the metal bit one isn't the worst of them. It hurts my teeth but at least I can still kinda breathe.

6: Burned or stabbed?

R: Stabbed.

W: Stabbed, I guess?

7: Favourite stress position? 

R: An old-fashioned hogtie. I guess I’m unimaginative but I don’t get too crazy into the BDSM shit. Who has the patience for that?

W: Uhh.. just, handcuffs behind my back. Something relatively comfortable.

8: Have you given or received any Brands? What do they signify?

R: Heh. No. Never been branded. I certainly have had my fun branding Whumpee though.

W: I… have two… Uhm. One on my chest that, thank Christ, is almost all the way healed. It said, uh, swine. The other one is on my back, it’s a lot worse. I don’t know what it says but I can feel it so it’s um, it’s here to stay, I guess.

R: It says Nice Try. Remember?

W: Not really.

R: From your second half-hearted escape attempt. Didn't realize you forgot. But I did hit you pretty fucking hard that night.

9: Broken arm or broken leg? 

R: Leg.

W: Arm. A million times, arm.

10: How did you get here? Why are you the way that you are?

R: I live here. Far as I know, I’ve always been 'like this'-- whatever the hell that means. And I don’t see a problem with it. We’re all free to do as we like, so that’s what I fucking do.

W: I dunno. I, I was outside, it was dark and I think it was raining…yeah… heading home from the bar. I didn’t drink that much. I didn’t live that far, either, so the rain wasn’t a problem. I remember falling down and then… I woke up here. And I’ve been here ever since.

11: What is your biggest regret?

R: I wish this Whumpee could’ve learned a thing or two from my defiant Whumpee in the second question you asked. I wanna get my dick sucked like that every fucking night.

W: Regrets... yeah, I've got a few. One stands out. It was late at night, Whumper didn't tie me up. I snuck out of my cell and I made it to the steps. Almost to the top, nearly all the way out. The door was unlocked and cracked open a little, I thought I could make a run for it and—

R: —I was waiting for you at the top. Heh. I wanted to see if you'd run, and you sure tried to. Not so much after that, though.

12: Is there a line you won’t cross? For Whumpee, what do you most fear Whumper might do?

R: A line I wouldn’t cross? Uhhh…. No. No, I don’t think so. I’ll cross any fucking line. turns to Whumpee, grinning. So what are you afraid of, Whumpee?

W: I, um. Does he really have to be here when I answer these questions?

R: Tell them, Whumpee.

W: Can I whisper it to you? (he’s already done so much to me, so fucking much… it’s dumb but I don’t want him to shave my head.)

R: smirks. You know I heard that.

13: What lessons have you taken away from your experience?

R: Everything has been the same old, same old for me. Guess this Whumpee’s lasted longer than the rest of ‘em. He’s coming up on a year soon. Kind of impressive he’s stuck around this long and hasn’t given me a reason to kill him yet.

W: I don’t know. I do what I’m told so I can eat. I take it day by day. I guess the lesson I’ve learned is that abandoning pride is the only way to survive…

14: Whip or cane?

R: Whip.

W: Yeah. Whip.

R: Didn’t expect you to say that. Noted.

15: Drugged or coherent?

R: Depends on the situation. Drugging them is useful for transport but I don’t much like it when they’re too dazed to understand what’s happening. Sometimes they fall asleep, too.

W: Drug me any fucking day. I don’t care. I’ll take whatever you have.

16: What are your true, honest feelings about each other? Is there some part of you that cares for the other at all?

R: Sometimes I like to touch him. He’s warm and it’s funny when he tries to squirm away. Plus I like it when he begs me to stop. But do I care about him? …eh. Sure, sorta. He’s my plaything.

W: Erm. Thanks, I guess. For me… Whumper is the reason I’m here. I guess I’m appreciative for the food… but he does hurt me. A lot. Constantly.

R: You're very welcome.

17: What is your favourite thing about the other? A personality trait, a physical feature, anything

R: He’s got pretty hair. A kind of pretty face, too. Yeah, almost like a girl. Heh. And he makes good sounds when he’s screaming.

W: Ah. Fuck. I really don’t know how to answer this…

R: Come on. What’s your favorite part?

W: Um. Well, I'll say this: Whumper is smart. Scary smart. I don’t think anyone would ever imagine how smart. I don’t know. I don’t. It’s… terrifying.

18: Do you have relationships outside of each other? Friends, family - if yes, do they know about Whumpee? Do they care?

R: Yes, yes, and no.

W: I have a half sister in, uh, Arkansas. We’re not close, obviously… used to have friends I guess, but it’s been a long time since I saw them…

19: What other hobbies do/did you have?

R: Video games. 

W: I used to play saxophone. A lifetime ago.

20: For Whumper, is there any chance you’ll let Whumpee go? For Whumpee, have you ever thought about life after you’re free?

R: No. Sorry. Realistically, it doesn’t make sense to ‘let him go.’

W: I, uh, I used to think about it. I don't anymore… like he said.. realistically it doesn’t make any sense.

R: Mm. Good answer, Whumpee.

------------------------

this interview uses the questions from Character Ask Game post by @inhurtandincomfort !! thanks homie!

((more Whump))

[cher-rei]

afterglow- pt 1 [ T.A.A ]

pairings: trent alexander arnold x femreader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter (you) is privileged with working alongside the liverpool marketing and public relations team while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.

[wc: 2.6k] [part 2] [part 3 ] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12]

genre(s): friends?? to lovers, work romance, fluff

notes: I've had this idea on my mind for months but I had no idea how to execute it at all. also instead of using the y/n insert, I gave the character a name even though it is read from your pov. It just made it easier to write lmao

"ms carter?"

your heart dropped at the sound of your name being called by an unfamiliar voice, which was something you were going to have to get used to. nonetheless, you turned around to see an older man approaching you with a warm smile and something in his hand.

when he got close enough he put out his hand and you politely shook it as a greeting, still not sure who you were talking to. before you could speak up however, you were interrupted by something being put in your hand.

"this is your staff id," the older man said and you took a closer look at the lanyard in your hand. the picture you had taken less than a few weeks ago was set neatly inside with your name, and position.

carter, jaime

[public relations manager- social media and marketing department]

public relations manager. those three words were enough to make you feel light headed.

you liked to think that your employment on liverpool fc's marketing team was nothing but pure luck. from the moment you handed in your resume for your university final year internship out of pure whim, then to you getting accepted for whatever reason until you got the email no less than a month after graduation asking you to come in for an interview.

all that lead up to the moment you were currently in. standing in the middle of the empty anfield stadium that you had visited for nearly every home game since you were a child. it was nothing but pure luck.

you were broken out of your daze by the older man chuckling about something, which showed that you hadn't heard a single word he said during the past five minutes. you mustered up a smile regardless to play it off and proceeded to follow him for what you thought was a building tour.

"I just realised that I never properly introduced myself," he laughed dryly and gestured for you to step into the tunnel before him. "I'm billy hogan- chief executive officer and I'm ever so sorry for being in a rush right now but I'd like you to be at the training center within the next 30 minutes."

your eyes widened in shock, your feet absentmindedly picking up its pace while hogan continued to speed through the building tour, leaving no room for questions but you decided to make a mental note to ask someone else when you got the chance.

you were escorted to the black s.u.v along with hogan immediately, running through the hundreds of questions you had at the moment. you know you only had room for one though before he was on another phone call.

"uhm sir-"

"yes ms carter?" the older man addressed without trailing his gaze from his cellphone screen or the pile of documents in front of him.

oh gosh.

you managed to clear your throat. "I'm not too sure why I'll be needed at the training center. shouldn't I be in the office or..."

when he heard you start to trail off, hogan shut the folder in his lap and turned to look at you with an expression you couldn't quite read. there was a moment of awkward silence that passed between the two of you in the backseat of the s.u.v, the driver not paying any mind to the conversation.

"our last marketing manager had to be fired because we found out that he was leaking information out to reporters and news broadcasters along with four other employees."

oh shit.

you shuffled in your seat as you tried to think of a response to the news but whenever you parted your lips to say something hogan would raise his finger as a sign that he wasn't done talking. so you swallowed the bitter taste in your mouth along with any comments and listened intently.

did it sound like he was targeting you and bordelined threatening you? yes, yes it did. but you were sure he meant well and was only trying to bring his point across.

"we're low on staff and that's why you were handed two very crucial roles and are expected to make up for the losses. you'll be working alongside the team as you read in the contract," he began once again with a knowing look which made your stomach drop.

because you didn't read the contract. not fully at least. your older sister was the one who urged you to sign it the second it was sent to your house. hell, it could've stated that you were required to donate an organ and you wouldn't have known all because your were too excited and didn't spare anything a second glance.

"but why didn't you just promote people that were already in the department instead of giving me the position straight away?"

hogan let out a dry chuckle and tended to his phone once again, not looking back at you. "because nobody else wanted the position. it's dangerous up there ms carter. so you may feel important right now, but if you can't handle the workload and expectations it's going to get messy."

well this is news to me.

to sum up hogan's lecture and recital of the contract off by heart, you were in fact set up to be working alongside the team as a higher ranking media representative because there needed to be more field work done. no pun intended.

but the fact that nobody else was up for the position didn't sit right with you.

"just make sure they look good for the camera and keep everyone entertained. you're an influencer yourself, so I'm entrusting you to keep everything in order. you were hired because you are young and are in the game already. so keep yourself level-headed and do your best."

no pressure I guess??

deciding to wear sneakers instead of heels today was by the far the best decision you've made in weeks. the weather in liverpool during september was nothing short of horrid. when you stepped out of the car your face was immediately hit with the harsh and crisp air that reminded you why you spent majority of your time indoors.

"welcome to our axa training center," hogan gestured to the building in front of you, it's ceiling to floor windows having you gawking in awe. "this is where you'll be spending a good amount of your time, but it's not as bad as it seems I promise."

what's so bad about watching a bunch of professional football players train half naked?

unlike your last building tour, hogan actually took his time showing you around this time. from the lobby, breakroom, staff rooms, gym and finally to the field where the team was out practicing-- or at least that's what you thought was happening judging by all the screaming.

the second you stepped foot out onto the field, klopp turned to look at you with a welcoming smile.

did he just sense my presence??

you felt frozen in your spot, the world had practically stopped spinning the second he called you and hogan over. when you made it over he halted his conversation with the person beside him to shake your hand.

"it's lovely to finally meet you ms carter," the team's manager politely greeted and it took every single nerve in your body for you to not do something stupid.

you bashfully laughed and brushed his comment off, "if anything, the pleasure is mine. I am extremely honoured to be working in this position."

after a few moments of getting to know each other and klopp giving you a bit of an idea of what he expected media-wise, you realised that you had work cut out for you, judging by klopp saying, "think of this as your second family. the team needs something different, and you ms carter, are exactly the home improvement that we need."

you felt like the weight of the world had just been put on your shoulders again, and his tone of utter sincerity wasn't making it any less pressurising. of course you wanted to do well and give your all into this role but it was going to take a bit of time getting used to.

I should have read that damn contract.

"would you like to meet the team?" klopp asked with a smile and lightly patted your shoulder.

the gesture alone was enough to render you speechless, and you weren't quite sure if you heard him correctly. "would I like to do what?"

"boys!"

your eyes widened in shock as he called the team over. you didn't know what to do or say, your fight or flight mode had nearly been activated and you swore you were about to sprint out of the training center, all the way back home.

you anxiously fiddled with your fingers, not knowing what to do with your hands as you watched the group of soccer players head your way with little to no care to which klopp gave you a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "don't worry, they won't bite."

you mustered up an awkward laugh, muttering under your breath as you mentally prepared yourself for the moment. you obviously hadn't met any of them before, the closest you had gotten was going to the stadium to watch their matches.

the closest you had gotten to any interaction with any professional soccer player in general however, would be at the beginning of the year when jude bellingham followed you back on Instagram. which was still the best day of your life up to date.

you were awestruck, words unable to form as they all huddled up in front of you. you could see the sweat beading on their foreheads which caused a shiver to travel down your spine.

"boys this is ms jaime carter." klopp gestured to you and you managed a small wave, trying to ignore the sound of your heart beating in your ears. "she'll be working with us from now on, as manager of the pr manager for both the marketing and social media departments."

you were greeted with a choir of 'hello's' and listened to klopp give everyone the run-down and a little enlightenment into the situation regarding the last bundle of staff that had to be cut off so abruptly.

"pfft, snitches."

you head turned to look in the direction of the comment, that was immediately reprimanded.

"curtis," klopp started and the soccer player pursed his lips apologetically.

"sorry boss."

"aren't you a little too young to be the manager of two departments?"

your eyebrows raised at the question from harvey. klopp and hogan had to attend to a last minute call from the clubs directors so you were left with the team to "get to know each other", but most of them got back to training which left you with harvey, curtis and trent.

you shifted your weight to your right leg, your head tilting to the side challengingly as you eyed the boy. "well you're younger than i am and playing professional football. what does me being a pr manager make any difference?"

trent and curtis couldn't help but snicker at your counter, jokingly mocking their younger teammate until he got visibly irritated.

"you can't deny us the right to laugh at you," trent said jokingly and kicked the ball to harvey, who passed it to cutis again.

their banter went on for a few minutes as you watched the ball pass between the three of them until harvey spoke up again.

"you're straight out of university though so--"

his sentence was cut off by someone yelling, "ball!", to which you all instinctively looked up only to realise a little to late that it was headed in your direction.

shit.

you backed away just in time to get the ball before it hit the ground. the second it came into contact with your foot, you sent it back virgil's way to which he gave you a smile.

a familiar feeling stired up in your stomach after, but you pushed it aside and for back to your train of thought. "and you're straight out of high-school. so i rest my case."

a moment of silence took over, trent and curtis both shifting their gazes from you and all the way over to virgil who was over at the goal post.

harvey was taking the moment to recollect your high school comment. it was because he was short wasn't it? that's all people had to throw at him these days.

it was trent's turn to speak up, his eyebrows raised while curtis muttered to himself about the distance or something like that. "have you played before?"

before you could answer, your name was being called by hogan since it was time to get back to the office building. you huffed out a breath and sent the three boys a smile.

"looks like today's 'q and a' was cut short." you took a few steps back, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your puffer jacket. "you might as well stock them up for next time. I'll be more than happy to feed your curious minds."

[starstruckbyacomet]

The Journalists (Part 1): Katey from But Why Tho

The Journalist who Takes No Bullshit from Other Journalists Paid Writers

(Part 2) (Part 3)

Katey Stoetzel wrote a review about episode 8x06 "Confessions":

So far, this article is my favorite 9-1-1 review. I feel like Katey was reading my mind while she was writing this piece. Things which she mentioned in it, among others:

"...the election results play into the strong reactions surrounding this breakup."

"...this explanation leans on biphobic stereotypes, such as bisexual people not knowing what they want, or needing to sleep around with a lot of people to know what they want."

"After referring to Buck exclusively by his first name, Evan, Tommy immediately distances himself from his intimate connection with Buck. And that feels pretty definitive."

"...thanks to Lou Ferrigno Jr’s performance in 9-1-1 Season 8 Episode 6, who layers so many nuances to Tommy in this scene that it would be a disgrace to not follow up on this character,..."

"...if we don’t then all the show has done is leave a gay man lost, heartbroken, and alone with seemingly no plans to resolve it."

Rarely, I found a piece of writing where almost every word was resonated with me. I could rave on and on about this review (I've told you that it was my favorite). However, it's better if you read it by yourself, if you haven't done it yet.

*********

Katey also interviewed Lou Ferrigno Jr. about the break up storyline.

For Tevan fans, this interview is like an oasis in the desert. First of all, it is the only interview with Lou after the break up, which is not saddled with Buddie questions 🙄. Secondly, Katey brought up Tevan fans' reaction to the discussion. Something which has been omitted by the paid writers who were pandering to toxic Buddie fans. The interview makes us feel seen. Probably, this is how we'd feel if we had a thoughtful queer story on TV, in which queer characters were not put aside, sad, alone, brokenhearted, or dead 😔.

*********

Initially, I thought I might be biased towards Katey, just because she also liked Tevan. Thus, I decided to read her review about episode 8x08 "Wannabes":

Oh boy, did she deliver! Every complaint about the episode which I've read on Tumblr is included in her review. And it's not just about Tevan:

"...[This episode] features a lot of Brad... is an odd choice, considering main characters like Maddie (Jennifer Love Hewitt) and Chimney (Kenneth Choi) have barely gotten to do anything this first half of the season. Eddie (Ryan Guzman), too, feels underutilized...."

"Brad gets regulated to chores (why is he getting more screen time at the 118 than anyone else again?)...."

"And there’s still the Shannon of it all. The fallout from the Hitchcock-inspired soap drama of 9-1-1 Season 7 hasn’t adequately addressed Eddie’s grief."

"...this part of the episode [how the suicidal man was saved] rings really hollow for a bit centered around suicide."

"...Episode 8 doesn’t have a mid-season vibe to it... besides Eddie potentially moving, there’s nothing juicy enough to send us off on a five-month hiatus. Bobby and Athena’s house situation hasn’t been discussed since Episode 4. Hen (Aisha Hinds) and Karen (Tracie Thoms) haven’t been around since 9-1-1 Season 8 Episode 5. While they got a lot of focus during the Ortiz storyline, Hen hasn’t had much to do in recent episodes."

"...Buck’s obvious want to call Tommy feels like he has unresolved issues with how things ended (we do, too.) However, the implication in interviews that it’s over between Buck and Tommy is CONFUSING... having Buck taking no action in the wake of this breakup so far, especially heading into hiatus, is a little frustrating."

I'm not the only one who resonates with Katey's review. At this point, I'm almost certain that Katey has been lurking on Tumblr, reading our rants one by one 😂. The mention of "Hitchcock-inspired soap", "the Shannon of it all", and "why is he [Brad] getting more screen time at the 118 than anyone else again?" made me laugh. Her articles show that this woman got brain, and a sharp tongue. I'm sure Katey could match firefighter pilot Thomas Kinard in a duel of words, and probably even won over him.

*********

@earthquakebi also praised another body of work from Katey: a Season 8A deep dive by Jose Cordova & Katey Stoetzel on Between TV podcast:

*********

However, Katey's bravest and most impressive article that I've read so far is a rather old one (recommended by @nqueso-emergency). It's not a review on any episodes of the show. It is about its fandom, and the press around it. The article was published on April 25. 2024, only 21 days after Buck's bisexual revelation first aired on April 4, 2024:

In this article, Katey criticized the paid writers who had been questioning "whether or not Buddie... is on the table", although it had "no basis in what’s happening on screen." She also pointed out that what those paid writers had been doing "creates a vicious cycle of misinterpretations, baiting, toxic fandom habits, and deciding that there’s only one way to interpret something." and "ridiculous expectations and assumptions all just centered around CLICKS and ENGAGEMENT."

It is interesting that she put the blame on the paid writers for FANNING TOXIC BEHAVIORS among fandom.

Katey didn't name names, but she inserted links to several articles and one video, while pointing out the baseless fandom pandering aspects on those bodies of work. And she certainly didn't mince her words 😂.

Her article is closed by a contemplative paragraph about journalism in the entertainment world:

"There’s a duty one has when sitting down for an interview with a cast, and that’s TO INQUIRE about the show that they have worked hard to bring us. And they definitely SHOULDN'T BE USED as an opportunity TO VALIDATE A FANDOM SHIP. That road just leads to disappointment, and an unfair insistence that if anyone disagrees, then they’re wrong. That’s not what fandom should be about. And it’s certainly not what entertainment journalism is about." 

[withoutyouimsaskia]

Sometimes It's Fated (Sandman Short Story Part 3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

GIF: Originally posted by @sassycherryblossomtree

Pairing: Morpheus/Dream of the Endless x AFAB reader

Summary: Reader Self-Insert. After restoring the Dreaming and locating the missing dreams and nightmares, Morpheus turns his attention to finding you, the human he believes fate has chosen for him. (Title inspired by Placebo's "This Picture".)

Warnings: Minors DNI. Dark!Morpheus. Soulmates. Angst. Obsessive and possessive behaviour. Tension. Threat. Dubious/non consent. Physical intimacy.

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: What a full on week! I've had a job interview. Got turned down for said job. Went to a Sandman filming location (Natural History Museum) and watched Dune Part 2 (cannot recommend enough). It took away from my writing time a bit but part 3 is here now, and I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think. Part 4 will be coming soon. All my love, Saskia xx

Sandman Masterlist

---------------------------------------------

"Y/N, I claim you as my soulmate."

The sentence is a catalyst, fuelling the physical and emotional reactions in both the surroundings and your body.

The wind is gone, leaving a claustrophobic air that crackles with untameable energy. The streetlight above violently flickers and flares, the unmistakable noise of a circuit about to overload emanating with each surge.

You feel these surges within your chest too, stoking the warmth radiating through you to an uncontrollable blaze. The ferocity of the sensation makes you whimper.

The man's hands are still touching you. Cradling your face and holding your hand; he feels the tremble that couples with your vocalisation.

"I understand. I feel it too," he whispers. "Though I imagine it is much more intense for your mortal heart to bear."

He eyes are raven black as he strokes his thumb back and forth over your cheek, before strengthening the hold he has on your face.

"Let me kiss the pain away."

He gives you no time to respond. He leans in the last few centimetres and puts his lips firmly against yours.

At first, contrary to his intent, the pain amplifies. He grunts, indicating that he has felt this spike also yet begins to move his lips regardless. It's like your heart is a balloon and it is being overfilled with air, close to exploding and obliterating you from existence. You then feel as if you are about to black out and want to pull away, and are about to try when the agony starts to subside.

The seduction begins.

The fire is mellowing with each press of his mouth, transforming into a restorative, yet sensuous energy. It's alleviation akin to calamine on a sunburn.

It awakens a primal need in your soul. This man is fundamental to you. He is the only one who can truly protect you from harm. You must remain with him. Give yourself to him.

You act on this revelation and kiss him back with a hunger that you didn't think you were capable of demonstrating.

Your reciprocation sends him into a frenzy. He cages you against the damp wall of the building and kisses you with unyielding, dangerous passion.

His skill is impressive, changing technique frequently to keep you guessing. Smothering kisses, bruising kisses, slower kisses to give you time to breathe. The hand that was cupping your face is now stroking down your side; breasts, waist, hips and back up again.

Tentatively, you raise your free hand to the back of his head and run your fingers through his wild hair. He makes a noise in the back of his throat, a satisfied vibrating sigh of sorts that encourages you to dig deeper into the silken locks.

He escalates things by slipping his tongue into your mouth. You feel his lips curl into a smirk as you moan in response. His taste is a potent blend: a smoky base, herbaceous core and ambrosial top notes. You are drunk on it, and him seconds after exposure.

Logic has left you. Schedules and duties cast aside.

The juxtaposition between the present and minutes prior would be frightening if not for how correct all this feels. You had been disgusted and alarmed by his conduct, ready to bring in reinforcements and then all of it had dissipated like dust under a short, sharp breath.

It is not a ridiculous change in behaviour; you were supposed to be doing this. This stranger is all you want.

He pulls back when even his slower kisses are unable to calm your elevated respiratory rate, dragging your bottom lip between his teeth as he does so to draw another moan from you.

The blue of his eyes shimmer with a myriad of emotions. Lust stands out the most along with awe and relief. Your cheeks prickle with a light blush as he continues to stare and document every detail.

"I have been waiting to do that for thousands of years, my precious soulmate," he eventually says in reference to the kiss after absorbing your image for a while.

There's that word again. Soulmate. You hadn't exactly been allowed a period of contemplation when the man first uttered it, too swept up in the fire and his touch, but now with the semi-reinstation of coherent thoughts you begin to assess. It proves difficult. Your cerebral matter feels like a mixture of treacle, sap and epoxy. Trapping words and slowing down your processing power. It would be so simple to let yourself live in this mental mire and be carried along by his whims.

No. You scold inwardly. Ask a question.

"What do you mean by soulmates?" You force yourself to speak.

He guides your palm to rest on his heart and sets up a mirror image with his hand on your chest. "It means that we are bound together, made for one another."

The next question is easier to form. "And what now, given that you've found me?"

"Now," His hips grind into yours. "I will continue with the ritual of awakening you to the metaphysical connection between us, stripping back the shrouds and glamours that have been protecting your mind from the gravity of this gift."

That explained why everything shifted when he first touched your skin.

"Are you going to do that here?" Your brain is really starting to break free of its trappings and you need to ascertain his plan for it sounds like his intentions are of a sexual nature and you are in a public place.

"No, your time in this world has reached its end. I will take you to my realm, lead you to my chambers and I will not stop stimulating you until I have taken residence in your every thought, every cell."

The speed and confidence with which he is pouring forth all of these sentiments, and the near-full recovery of your mental faculties triggers a wave of nausea. Perspiration forms on your nape and ears and your core temperature feels off; warning signs that you get when you are about to vomit.

He still hasn't let go of your hand. You hone in on the softness of his skin, hoping you can use him as an anchor as you wade through the icky symptoms.

Recent events are starting to catch up with you. You replay it all.

Soulmates. Mortal. Thousands of years. Metaphysical. Realm. The unexplainable environmental manifestations. The strange shifting qualities of his eyes. What kind of supernatural devilry had you managed to become ensnared in?

Was he in fact the devil?

You are so conflicted. This being, for you are convinced that 'man' is no longer the correct term, is telling you things that threaten your entire way of life and your heart is pushing you to seek comfort from him!

Then the voices start.

Your sense of balance tilts and you instinctively grasp his forearm for stability. He says your name and you drag your focus from your thoughts to his face. He is looking at you with deep concern.

"Tell me," he commands gently.

"I feel dizzy... And I can hear voices."

"How many?"

"What?"

"How many voices?"

Your eyes are wide as you struggle to understand the relevance of his question.

You stammer out a couple of syllables.

"Breathe," he encourages.

You obey and concentrate on the hubbub.

"Three. Everything is being repeated three times."

The frown lines smooth and he is smiling faintly. "It seems The Fates are vying for your attention."

"The Fates? Like in Greek mythology?"

"The very same."

Was this being a God then?

"They're telling me to close my eyes," you relay as soon as the instruction is delivered.

He nods. "That will be the trigger that transports your mind to their location."

"Will I pass out?"

"No. It will be a temporary connection that keeps your body frozen for mere moments."

"I feel so dizzy though."

"I can hold you while you converse with them should you wish."

You nod somewhat frenetically as a sliver of fear creeps into your mind. "Yes, please."

He lets go of your hand for the first time since you tried to go back in the building, slips his arms around your waist and he pulls you close with a satisfied sigh. The neediness with which you are clinging to him lessens your apprehension just a little.

"How does that feel?" His voice rumbles deliciously through your chest.

"Good, thank you."

"You should close your eyes now. It is best that you do not keep them waiting."

"Okay."

"I'll see you in a few moments."

You shut your eyes.

----------------

The scene you awaken in is all lemon yellows, blush pinks and pastel blues. There's no landforms or structures. Just a never-ending stretch of bedrock, topped with a horizon that is beginning to show a sumptuous sunset.

You squint a little and then notice that there is a actually a point of interest. A lump of rough rock, waist height. There's a divot worn into the top that makes the obtrusion look like a font. For a moment you see a single figure standing at it.

A figure that appears to have three faces.

But then you blink and the number has tripled.

Maiden, Mother and Crone.

The trio block the worst of the sun glare, and the light that isn't obscured is highlighting the translucent layers that overflow from their intricately constructed and adorned outfits. Their curly hair, like the fabric of their clothes, flows freely in the gentle breeze.

You walk towards the group, thinking back to that term in school where you studied Greek mythology. Under no circumstances did you ever think that any of it could possibly be true, yet here you were.

You stop a respectable distance from them and quickly avert your eyes downwards to look at the ruby ring on your right hand.

One of them speaks, "You need not be intimidated by us, sweetness."

"I only wish to pay respect to you, your Graces."

You chance a peek at the Fates and see amusement in their eyes.

"Oh, you are going to fit in very well in his world," the Mother says with a smile.

You don't know what to feel about that comment however you don't have time to dwell on it for the eldest addresses you.

"Come closer. Let us look at you."

And look they did. Their resolute gazes are just as discerning as the stranger's but unlike his, where you knew he was soaking you in, you feel like the Fates are seeing through you.

You don't know what exactly it is that they are looking for but their smiles give the impression of being appeased.

"Has Morpheus told you how this will go?"

"No..." You hesitate before speaking his name, "Morpheus has not."

"He didn't tell you his name, did he?"

"We didn't get a lot of time for small talk," you admit sheepishly.

"We can see that from the state of your lips."

"He always was rather forward with his physical affection."

"Touch starved," the Crone finishes.

You are beyond embarrassed. How swollen were your lips for it to be that obvious? You can almost feel his touch now, it tingles like phantom caresses on the skin of your neck, chest and waist. You swallow hard before further lust can thicken your throat.

The Fates then speak in turn again, explaining the context of your rendezvous.

"You will have the opportunity to ask three questions."

"That is the custom when meeting with us."

"There is no need to rush."

Choosing only three questions will be tough when there are hundreds you could ask. Were you losing your sanity? Was Morpheus a demonic envoy from the underworld sent to corrupt your mind?

You suppose all you really want to know is whether this is real.

"Is he telling the truth about us being soulmates?"

The Maiden answers in a musical voice, "He is. The confluence of yours and Morpheus' lives has been written for millennia. Your souls have been intended for each other since he came into existence. You were never meant for anyone else but him."

You feel like you are about to cry. That last statement cuts deeply.

"All those times that potential partners lost interest or ghosted me. It was because of this soulmates thing," you murmur the statement, aware that you don't need to ask them to know if it is true.

Years of heartache and confusion had been for nothing. The nights spent wondering if you had done something wrong, the days where you threw yourself into your work to distract from it.

You cannot regret all the good things you managed to create as part of your team at the charity yet it is hard to look past the personal torment that countless unexplained rejections caused. You are human after all.

Selfishness rears its head and pushes the next question from your mouth with a tone of indignation.

"Why am I only finding out about this now?"

The Mother takes over, tone caring and brown eyes cordial, "It was not necessary for you to know."

Ire disintegrates into frustration. "But I could have been preparing. Not building a life that I was clearly going to have to give up."

"You would not be the person you are had we given you warning. You needed to live as a human, not as someone who was fated to be with the King of Dreams and Nightmares. Besides, there was no possibility of you being together. For 106 years, Morpheus was the prisoner of a human, and it was the recent end of his captivity that allowed fate to take its intended course. Reaching your potential on Earth gives you a strong foundation from which to guide and influence him in how to best serve humanity, and learn to trust in them once more after what he suffered at the hands of one."

The amount of information you have just received is like a freight train. One after the other, the revelations barrel into you and you take refuge in your mind.

The King of Dreams and Nightmares; not a title you had heard of before. Yet there is a strange sense of recognition. A forgotten memory that barely flickers with life. You ignore the niggling thought and focus on the more devastating one.

This King, your soulmate was held against his will, subjected to suffering. You cannot bear the idea of it regardless of how few details you have at present. Your chest aches and you know your soul is the source.

Fury twitches in your fingers, as fiery as the now burnt oranges and bloody reds of the ever-progressing sunset. You want to know who could do such a terrible thing but you realise that it is not the most important question you could be asking.

You look back to the Fates. You note their proud smiles at your restraint.

"What role am I expected to play in his future?"

The Crone moves to centre stage, "You are to be his everything. Muse. Lover. Queen. Advisor. Confidant."

Your stomach twists.

"Are you ready to return to him?" The Maiden asks, taking you off guard.

You feel like you a patron being kicked out at closing time with half a drink left. A fizzy one that you can't knock back easily.

What you've just been told honestly scares you. It's a mountain of expectation, the sort of thing that could birth an inferiority complex. There's also your self-preservation instinct starting to scream. You've seen darkness in his eyes, felt his physical strength and heard how resolute his statements are.

You have to say something.

"I'm worried about what would happen if I disappoint him, if he would hurt me."

The trio step closer, the scant remnants of sunlight reflect off their perceptive eyes and the metal of their matching earrings.

The Crone speaks solemnly, "It has been well-documented that Morpheus has a ruthless nature. As one of the Endless siblings, he is among the most powerful beings in the universe; equal parts creator, and destroyer."

The Mother touches your cheek with a warm hand. "But you have just as much power to hurt him, sweetness. We have provided you with it."

The Maiden nods in agreement, and takes your hand.

"He deals in fears, yes but his domain also lies in fantasies. He will be able to furnish you with yours. He has been made to be perfect for you."

"But -"

"This is not a loss of agency or an act of surrender. Put aside your qualms, listen to your soul and ask yourself this: do you find him attractive?"

"Yes." He's the most attractive person you've ever seen.

"Do you care for him?"

"Yes." Your reaction to his imprisonment is evidence enough of that.

"Do you want to a chance of happiness?"

"Yes." Deep down beneath all the doubt and overthinking and catastrophising, it's exactly what you want.

You want Morpheus.

"I'm ready," you say calmly.

You take a step back from the Fates and bow.

"Thank you for your time, your Graces."

The sky is an inky violet with daubs of dark blue, the sun is a thin line on the horizon. It sets, signalling the end of the meeting and your time as an ordinary mortal.

"Fare you well," the Fates' voices echo in unison as everything fades to black.

-------------------------

Tag list: @herfantasyworldd @kpopgirlbtssvt @littleblackcatinwonderland @1950schick @lollipopsandlandmines

"Deep in my heart, deep in my mind. Take me away, take me away. This is my word, dream maker, life taker. Open up my mind."

[nerdieforpedro]

I love how you write and it makes me so glad you are here.

can I ask what inspired you to start?

signed - a maybe inspired future fic writer

This is such a wonderful ask! 🥰

I'm glad you enjoy my writing. I have ideas and I write them is my short answer and explains nothing I realize.

The long answer:

I've written fanfic before, off and on for maybe the last 10-15 years. Very different fandoms. Started out with anime, dabbled a bit in Yaoi then transitioned to Marvel and now I'm firmly planted in the Pedro Pascal, Oscar Issac, Benny Miller triangle of hotness.

Fanfic for me is an expression of a story, show, movie, video game or pice of media that I enjoyed so much, I just had to make something. I can't draw, no mixing of hot tracks or beats, I've just started dabbling in photo editing this year and am a beginner at that. It's all purely fun for me. I enjoy it and it's fun to share with other people who create and are like, "Hey! You like that? I like it too. Let me see yours and I'll show you mine. Where'd you get the idea for that?" And then hilarious conversations leap from there.

What inspired me to start specifically in the Pedro Pascal fanfic world was The Mandalorian. It was the first time I realized, "that's the man I've seen before!" And then realized I've seen Pedro Pascal in many of my favorite shows, (The Mentalist was watched for the sake of completion. After season 6 and the first episode of season 7, there wasn't a real reason to continue other than spending time with my mom. She's fine, when I tell people that they think she's passed on but the woman is still lifting 50 lbs mulch bags in her mid seventies. She more than fine.) I then became fixated on this man, reset the password on my AO3 account and found Pedro Pascal character fanfics. I was then led back to Tumblr which before I was on years ago for anime and read fics by @secretelephanttattoo ( I shall always sing about Headshots. It inspired the first fic I posted on Tumblr and is just so damn cute. El is also just a sweetheart.) and @morallyinept whose Tendrils fic only deepened my brain rot for that tall beskar bucket, she's also a dear friend who's made me laugh, cry in a good way, inspired me and very time I turn around she's crafting something new. Fics, banners, self-care, doodles, smut, databases, and all sorts of Pedro interviews and dialogue. Because I'm a fangirl of them both and many others actually, I keep 👀 on them.

What keeps me going is the fandom overall and that despite, recent tribulations let's say politely, we're all still here. Geeking out over a goofy, handsome, I know he gives the best hugs, actor who loves what he does and has been working at it for years and it's finally paying off.

I've met wonderful friends and moots who reach out, give me encouragement, tell me I do well (I'm starting to listen to them I swear. I'm not good at taking compliments in person so it's even worse online FYI.

So I hope this answers your ask and I do encourage you to write that weird, funny, smutty, cute, sweet, dark, twisty, angsty fic that you want to write. I do hope whoever you are, you tag me in it so I can read it. 🤭

Special love to the following and if I left anyone off, I'm sorry. It's after work, I rubbed my eyes, wipes my glasses because I got them wet while writing this and it was a lot:

@maggiemayhemnj @megamindsecretlair @soft-persephone @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @magpiepills

@mysterious-moonstruck-musings @for-a-longlongtime @i-own-loki @undercoverpena @connectioneverywhere

@soft-girl-musings @perotovar @julesonrecord @lotusbxtch @604to647

@yorksgirl @pedroshotwifey @fhatbhabiee @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @bitchwitch1981

@jessthebaker @avastrasposts @inept-the-magnificent @lady-bess @grogusmum

@schnarfer @boliv-jenta @iamskyereads @iamasaddie @chaithetics

@tinytinymenace @yourcoolauntie @alltheglitterandtheroar @musings-of-a-rose @rhoorl

@trulybetty @laurfilijames @wannab-urs @legendary-pink-dot @din-cognito

@sin-djarin @beefrobeefcal @spacecowboyhotch

[profiterole-reads]

2024 Favourites

In no particular order. This is content I've read and watched in 2024, not necessarily content released in 2024.

Books

1. So Let Them Burn by Kamilah Cole: f/f heroic fantasy + another female protagonist on the aroace spectrum with a male love interest (YA). One sister can channel the power of the Gods. The other dreams of becoming a drake pilot to protect their country from dragons.

2. Hunters of Ironport by Lou Wilham: m/m urban fantasy with a trans male protagonist. This series has Buffy/Faith vibes, except m/m. It crosses over with the Witches of Moondale series (f/f), but can be read independently.

3. The Mage's Secret by Ami Spencer: f/nb urban fantasy. This witch story is mostly cosy, with a few action scenes. It's about a coven elder and an Academy head in an established relationship.

4. [Spanish] Prodigioso principio de amor de Silvia Aliaga: m/m urban fantasy. This novel takes place at the University of Magic and Eloquence, in Florence, Italy, and the two leads are from Spain and the UK.

5. Power to Yield and Other Stories by Bogi Takács: collection of speculative short stories with many non-binary characters and a couple of intersex ones. This is my favourite read of the year. These brilliant stories explore gender identity, neurodivergence, religion, immigration and the human condition in general.

6. Earthflown by Frances Wren: m/m science fantasy. The characters have superpowers, but it's not superhero fiction. This novel takes place in post-flood London and has complex worldbuilding. Note that the e-book version doesn't include the 60 illustrations.

7. Redsight by Meredith Mooring: f/f science fantasy. This is mythological fantasy in space. The protagonist is a blind witch who's going to serve as a spaceship navigator. Her love interest is an ancient witch who's become a pirate and can turn into a giant snake.

8. Welcome to Boy.net by Lyda Morehouse: f/f science fiction with a trans female protagonist. This novel is about two bounty hunters in an established relationship. The protagonist used to be part of the ENForcers, which supposedly had only male members, so she had to desert in order to transition.

9. Everything for Everyone: An Oral History of the New York Commune, 2052–2072 by M.E. O'Brien and Eman Abdelhadi: speculative activism fiction written in the form of non-fiction, with many non-binary characters and two trans women. 12 interviews cover the crises of the mid-21st century, then the insurrections that led to establishing communes all over the world, with a focus on NYC.

10. [French] Un Amour pas si aveugle by Lena Clarke: f/f romance. A blind piano teacher and her guide dog move in next to a former firewoman, now an ambulance driver, and her dog.

TV shows

1. Kaos: mythological fantasy with several mlm characters + a trans male major character, and the Fates are played by trans/enby actors. I love this Greek Mythology modern AU, full of dark humour.

2. Meet You at the Blossom: BL wuxia. This Chinese/Thai coproduction is the first uncensored BL wuxia drama and I hope it'll pave the way to many more.

3. The Spirealm: BL portal fantasy. This c-drama is an intriguing adventure with horror vibes. The BL is still pretty visible despite Chinese censorship.

4. Tadaima, Okaeri: BL omegaverse. I had always avoided omegaverse stories, but this anime about an alpha/omega married couple with kids is just lovely.

5. When the Moonlight is Shining: GL fantasy. This c-drama is a quick watch, with 18 episodes of about 2 minutes. A mermaid comes to the human world.

6. 3 Will Be Free: m/m/f thriller + a trans female major character. This Thai drama is about the son of a mafia boss, a male stripper and a hostess at a go-go club. It's actually not as explicit as it sounds.

7. Petrichor: GL murder mystery. An inspector and a medical examiner team up in this Thai drama, which is much better than the forgettable Rizzoli and Isles.

8. Love Sea: BL + GL romance (a lot of BL sex scenes). This Thai drama is Fort/Peat (from Love in the Air)'s new show. Watch it for the high-chemistry BL, as the GL storyline is subpar.

9. Lucky My Love: GL romance. This Thai drama is a quick watch, with 5 episodes of 20 minutes. A superstitious woman meets her new team leader.

10. 1670: historical mockumentary with some f/f. In this Polish show (available on Netflix), the 17th-century humour is a metaphor for 21st-century issues.

Movies

1. Wicked: fantasy with sapphic vibes and achillean rep. I loved it, it was stunning!

2. Drive-Away Dolls: f/f crime comedy (a lot of sex scenes). This lesbian movie was on crack and is supposed to be the first of a trilogy!

3. Le Comte de Monte-Cristo: historical revenge movie with a canon sapphic minor character. This was a magnificent adaptation of Alexandre Dumas's masterpiece.

[sugar-grigri]

An overlay of games

Two injured arms? What are you trying to tell us, Fujimoto ?

The interesting thing about the first part of the chapter is this page in which Denji hesitantly answers. It's another way of accentuating his existential crisis, even when he's called an impostor, Denji can't defend his position firmly and confidently.

It's normal, he's still bound by the dilemma of the public hunters who have forbidden him to reveal and be Chainsaw Man himself, and above all he's competing with the impostor for his own identity.

Denji isn't THAT scandalized by being pointed out as a wannabe CSM because he is one now, he's been so robbed of his identity that he's almost willing to become himself.

This chapter also hints at the fact that the public hunters don't agree on everything, probably because of a hierarchy or unity game. For example, some hunters only thought that the church was having fun playing CSM, not knowing that it was fighting against the prophecy of Nostradamus.

However, this information was gathered by Yoshida through his interview with Fami, but it remained highly confidential. Here again, this public hunter doesn't know that Denji is CSM. In short, information isn't leaking out of the Special Division 7.

Yoshida is the mediator between the public hunters and Denji, but also with the church with Fami. Katana, Quanxi and the possessed man with the dripping brain are the henchmen. Fumiko is the one in charge of preventing any temptation on Denji's part to get closer to the church.

But there's something else that I find even more interesting that follows this point. If we try to untangle everyone's role. We end up with Yoshida; Quanxi; Katana; the possessed one with the overflowing brain; Fumiko; Denji and on the other, on the church side, we have Fami, Barem, Miri, the weapon of the whip, the bow and finally Asa. That's six against six.

Asa's room is 606. And as I've explained several times, Fujimoto tends to play with numbers in this part 2. So I'm going to try and give you an explanation.

When I saw that not only Quanxi had her arm bruised but Yoshida had sliced Asa's arm, the first thing I thought was "a tie". On one side we have Quanxi losing her arm to protect while on the other we have Yoshida attacking with a slice. The fact remains that an arm has been lost on each side, so there's a certain balance.

Let me remind you that there are six against six in this game, and nobody has won any points yet, which makes 0. 6 0 6, ball in the middle.

I sincerely believe that what Fujimoto is setting up is a form of game, a war in which we're going to have to keep score. Barem is called Barem BRIDGE, a card game of 2. against 2. This time it's not just a game about the clan war but the whole manga: Fami and Barem on one side, the demon of Death and maybe Fake! CSM on the other

Did you know that one of the players called himself the dead man? ;))))))

I think the human usurper and fake!CSM are two different entities because the demon has twice interfered with Fami's plan by eliminating the fire demon (Yuko) and saving Denji and Asa.

But it doesn't stop there, so let me come back to a few bridge rules (I don't know how to play, so if I'm wrong, please correct me). The game opens with the "contract", i.e. declarer commits to making a given number of tricks. Just like the beginning of the game in CSM started with Barem announcing his contract with the fire demon.

A game of bridge is played in several moves, each move corresponding to a deal. Each player holds 13 cards, which they have arranged in a row to form what is known as their "deck" or "hand". Again, this is not to say that game 2 works exactly like bridge (and its horribly complex rules) but rather to emphasise the symbolism.

Every time one of the sides moves, an injury occurs, a limb is neutralised or even pulverised.

I wanted to end this analysis with the "strong" part of the chapter, Yoru's return in force. I was stuck on the symbolism of the arm, its symbolism in art and its relationship to war. So much so that I forgot to read the line: Yoru is a team player, she speaks as "we".

And then everything fell into place. There's a contrast between Yoru's exaltation and the fact that she's still missing a member. But everything makes sense with this fusion introduced by the "we".

Yoru is missing nothing, not even an arm, and Asa has become the perfect continuity of her being and her limbs.

Asa may have transformed her flat, her home, but she hasn't lost her bearings, because each of these girls has become the home of the other.

While Denji denies the duality of his being, Asa is embracing it.

While Yoru, even without her arm, feels her strength reaching its peak thanks to her completeness with Asa.

Now, don't you think that making room 606 a weapon whose number symbolizes the status quo is just the beginning of hostilities?

To be obsessed with victory, even if it means leaving your mark, isn't that the definition of waging war?

Or is it just playing a card game ?

[shakingparadigm]

it makes me very sad that we never seem to get till's perspective on the story... his rs with mizi is so underexplored when it literally constitutes a core aspect of his character (and this in turn lead to some uncharitable interpretations by those who want ivans love to be requited and well, the fandom in general), we barely even know abt his dynamics with other characters besides Ivan (and even that isnt told through his eyes), his past is just visible through glimpses etc. there's just so. Little about him. And yet he's such an interesting and complex little guy, i really really hope now that king yaoi the third's arc has concluded, we finally get some till crumbs bc im starving. or maybe the authors just downright hate him lmao

I've thought about this for quite a while!

I agree! Unlike the rest of the cast, Till doesn't have his own content where he states his thoughts and emotions (like Mizi's monologue, the Hyuna and Luka comic, Ivan's confession comic, the Mizisua interview + all other interviews). In many pieces of official art, Till is either a supporting character or comic relief, rarely in the focus. Although we saw a bit of him in the contents leading up to (and the few arts after) ROUND 6, ultimately they were centered on Ivan.

We've yet to hear from Till himself, to understand his thoughts from his own words and not from the perspective of other characters. On the rare occasion the focus is on him, it's devoted to his adoration for Mizi.

His relationship with Mizi underexplored... I mean, it is, but I feel that was intentional. Despite all his attachment to Mizi, he never actually managed to get close to her (although he spent a majority of his childhood trying). The goodbye letters reveal Till's regret at this fact, and from other pieces of content we can see that he was always too shy and afraid to approach her. His love for Mizi seems shallow and underdeveloped because, well, that's kind of just how it is. He's in love with the image of her he admired from afar. It's puppy love to the highest degree, but you know how humans in ALNST are. They'd completely break themselves down for love.

Funnily, this all seems in character for Till. We don't get to hear his thoughts because he's too rebellious for an interview. His most significant presence in the comics are when they are Ivan-centered, we lack his perspective because the moment always matters more to Ivan than it does to Till. His relationship with Mizi is underdeveloped because he himself has an underdeveloped understanding of her.

Okay, I know I keep going on about "oh we never get to hear Till's side!", but I acknowledge the fact that with Till, they seem to be going with a more "show, not tell" angle. We can't gauge how his thought process works through monologue, but the little things he does can say a lot about him (Crying over his lost recorder, a gift from Mizi. Picking fights when flowers are treated cruelly. Encouraging a wilting flower to keep surviving). He's not one for long monologues anyway, Till follows his heart through passionate action. Still, I really hope to one day have a comic narrated by him, something to put us in his perspective.

And on the last note, don't even worry about the authors hating him! I find it so funny to hear that, actually. QMENG and VIVINOS adore Till. He's actually QMENG's favorite! They love him so much they inserted themselves into a meme fangirling over him.

That's them right there. For their baby boy. Anyways, hopefully we can learn more about Till now that he's the only survivor left in the competition to face Luka. Apparently, they've had ROUND 7 planned for a really long time now. Both excited and nervous to see how it goes!

[jhkfan123]

enchanted- tom blyth | preface & ch. 1

. ˙ ✦ ♡ㅤ°. •                                                                                                                                                                . ˙ ✦ ♡ㅤ°. •

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

part 6

part 7

part 8

part 9

part 10

part 11

part 12

 "please don't be in love with someone else please don't have somebody waiting on you"

"she's flawless"

"she's not flawless"

"what?"

"she's not you"

❤ ENCHANTED ❤

after starring in one of 2022's top movies y/n y/l/n has risen to stardom. at 23, she's only at the start of her career. julliard trained, cover of teen vogue, things are going great for her. and now, she starred in one of the biggest franchises as clemensia dovecote in the prequel for The Hunger Games trilogy, the ballad of songbirds and snakes. she's been attending galas, doing press, all alongside her co-stars, rachel zegler, josh andres rivera, and most importantly, tom blyth. she's liked him since the second she met him, but he hasn't seemed to bat an eye at her hints. but what happens when he finally starts hinting back, all while a spiraling rumor about a relationship between him and rachel arises? 

characters

y/n - the newest hollywood it-girl

tom blyth - y/n's costar, the lead in her new movie, the ballad of songbirds and snakes. internet's new bf 

josh andrés rivera - starred mainly alongside tom blyth as sejanus plinth, friendly with y/n

rachel zegler - starred as lucy gray baird, and has gained fame. played the "love interest" of coriolanus snow, over time has gained a "sister-like" bond with y/n.

AU: rachel and josh are NOT dating (for the plot)

Authors Note: i'm in love with tom blyth WHA-      enjoy this book! ongoing but should be finished soon! part 1 should be out in less than a day. called jhk fan but writing abt tom blyth (2024theplot)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

✦ i.

the camera flashes blinded you as someone guided you towards a crowd of people with microphones. you almost trip over your floor length gown as you approach a shorter woman, no taller than 5'0. your security guard lingers behind you, ensuring no one tries to pull anything. you felt a bit overwhelmed. yes, you'd been exposed to this before, but it was still fairly new. the flashing lights, people screaming your name begging to get your attention, figures holding out posters and whatnot to sign, and of course, the red carpet interviews. they gave you a sense of comfort. you could focus on one person, talk to one person, and tune everyone else out for a short minute before you had to move on. 

"hello dear, mind if i ask you a few questions?" focusing back into real life, you glanced at the woman holding a microphone to your face. 

"no i don't mind. shoot." you replied, adjusting the strap on your dress. 

"first of all, your role in this movie was small, but mighty. people online are loving it, they call you "panem it-girl." people have also been making edits, now my question is, have you seen any of these?" you chuckled at her question. you attempted to stay off social media as much as possible, but in this day, its very difficult. and the answer was yes. your own feed had been filled with lots of these edits. it was strange, seeing yourself on your screen, with others saying things like "panem it-girl" and "she deserved more screen time" and "iconic queen." the whole idea made you laugh, for your role in the movie had been fairly small, but your newfound fame had secured you a spot on the press tour. 

"yes i have seen them. it's pretty weird, seeing myself, but i am just glad people love the character. to make a long story endless, i've always been a fan of the books so when this prequel came out i bought it as soon as possible. i loved clemmie the second i read about her, so it was really cool to be able to bring her to life, and i'm so happy people liked the way i played her." you replied. you tried to keep it simple, but sometimes you felt like there was too much to say and not enough time to say it, which led to extra long answers to really short questions. 

you heard her shout a thank you as you were whisked to the next interviewer. 

"hi, so nice to see you, who are you wearing?" the man asked. you glanced down at your dress that had taken you ten whole minutes to get into. the whole process of getting ready took three hours, not to mention the photoshoot your publicist encouraged. getting your hair just right took an hour alone. 

"today i'm wearing versace. i was really inspired by blake lively's dress from the met gala and i thankfully have a great stylist who was able to find the perfect dress for me." you had always loved red carpet looks, and began to design your own in a fashion sketchbook when you were twelve years old. one of your favorite perks of being well-known was the ability to wear the dresses you had always loved. 

the security guard whispered in your ear that it was time to go pose. you thanked the man interviewing you and walked away. as you approached the middle of the red carpet a few people caught your eye. rachel zegler was standing in front of the cameras, flashes of light every second without fail. you seemed to have caught her eye, she turned to you and waved. you returned the gesture and made your way to the place you were supposed to pose. the cameras began to flash as soon as you stepped in front of them. you positioned yourself into your signature pose, which showed off the best parts about you. rachel walked over and gave you a hug.

"you look great" she attempted to compliment you, but it was hard to hear her over the people shouting.

"you look better than i ever will."  you returned the compliment and saw a disappointed look on her face. 

"girl you know so well that's not true" she laughed before returning to her initial position, maybe a few feet closer to you now. you returned back to posing, the flashes still going off, your name being mixed with rachels, being called from ten different directions. you began to walk off when you heard cheering from your left. you turned to see who had arrived. 

wearing a white blazer, a white, barely buttoned top, and black slacks was tom blyth. he had just stepped out of the vehicle dropping him off. you heard an overwhelming scream of voices. you had met tom on the set of the new movie, but had learned that you had both went to juilliard, and he graduated the year after you enrolled. there was a one year period where you too had been at the same school, yet never met each other. when the two of you first met, there was an immediate friendship. you guys drove to set together, practiced lines together, and hung out as many time as you could, squeezing in your busy schedule. but there had always been something more there for you. to you, he was the most charming, alluring, funny, kind person you'd met. it had always been one sided. you'd learned to suppress it, and accept that maybe he wasn't as interested in you as you were in him. while you were thinking, he had finished his interviews and was coming over to the two of you. you waved over to him and he flashed a smile at you. you approached him as he gave you a hug. you embraced it as much as you could. 

"hey! how are you?" he asked. you glanced up at him. your height difference was perfect in your mind. 

"i'm doing great, how are you?" 

"fantastic." he replied. he looked around you, finally making eye contact with rachel. you watched as his face lit up, and your heart sunk a little lower. there was nothing going on between them, at least, that's what you'd known. but seeing him excited to see her gave you a sense of jealousy. you knew it was selfish, obviously he made the entire movie with her, why shouldn't he be more excited? but you couldn't control it. he patted you on the shoulder and watched as he gave rachel a hug. a much more meaningful hug, that's what it looked like, at least. he wrapped his arm around her waist and posed with her. you asked your security guard to take you away from the photo area, off the red carpet altogether, but he told you to wait because they wanted an all cast photo. you decided to go back and do more interviews. you approached another woman. 

"hello." you greeted her.

"hi! im with letterboxed, would you care to give me your top four movies of all time?" you loved this question. you watched every video they posted of celebrities top movies. you'd never been asked before, and you had planned this out weeks in advance. it distracted you a little from your heart. 

"i LOVE this question, i've been planning for weeks."

...

once the movie was over, you exited the theater and made your way to the afterparty. you changed into a much easier outfit. one you could dance in. you were going to need it anyways. the dress had a corset-esqe top, with a very short skirt. like sabrina carpenter. you put on some high boots and fiddled with your hair a little. 

you entered the afterparty fashionably late. most people were already there. you recognized a few of your castmates from "the academy." you went over to them and got yourself a drink from the bar. 

"you look amazing, drop the makeup routine right now." you heard one say. lilly cooper, the actress for arachne crane. you laughed at her, but promised you would. you talked to a few more people, the actress for livia cardew, actor for festus creed, and more. before you knew it, 45 minutes had passed. you ventured away from them, and into the more central area. 

"girl get over here!" you heard. you pivoted on your heel and spotted rachel, tom, and josh. you happily walked over and gave josh a hug, you hadn't seen him all night. "this outfit is out of this world." rachel complimented. you did a little twirl to show off every bit of it. when you returned to your initial place, you saw tom laughing. a smile broke out on your face. 

"im ready to dance guys, when's that happening?" you asked them. rachel grabbed your hand, along with tom's. josh followed you guys as you headed for the dance floor. they were now playing "breaking dishes" by rhianna, one of your all time favorite clubbing songs. you had always been proud of your dancing skills, and now was the chance to show off. on your way to the dance floor, you picked up another drink, and downed it as fast as possible. finally on the floor, you and rachel began to dance together. she spun you around and you did the same to her. soon, josh swept you away and you danced with him, making sure to one up every move he made. you felt yourself getting tipsy, but that didn't matter, what did was that you were having fun. 

mid turn with josh, you felt yourself get pulled away again, a new hand holding onto yours. you looked up to see tom, who had ditched his jacket, and your pretty sure had unbuttoned another button or two, pulling you to dance with him. you agreed happily and began to dance with him. you had never noticed how good a dancer he was. every time you tried to one up him, he would pull out some move you hadn't seen before. 

"i saw you trying to one up josh" he shouted over the music. "isn't going to happen sweetheart." he called you that as a joke, but you felt yourself getting red. your stomach dropped. 

"wait here, i'm going to get another drink." you yelled, attempting to be louder than the already blaring music. he grabbed your arm and pulled you back.

"hey how many is that now?" he asked, referring to the amount you had drunken that night. 

"oh please." you shook him off and went to get another drink. you downed it and returned back to him. you felt the drinks going straight to your head. he spun you and you felt very dizzy. too many drinks.  you had always been a bit of a lightweight. three or four drinks was way to many. you continued to dance with him. he spun you again, this time returning you to him. he spun you back and he pulled you into his chest and you knocked into him. rachel came up behind you and you almost tripped on her feet. 

"woah, you've had too much to drink."  she immediately noticed. you tried to defend yourself, but found yourself slurring your words together. "yeah, you're done." she walked you over to a couch and sat you down. you laid down and your vision began to blur as you passed out. 

...

you woke up the next morning on a sofa. but this sofa was not the same sofa from last night. this was your sofa, in the hotel you were staying at for the premier. somehow, you had gotten home. no idea how, no idea when, but you had gotten home. you immediately noticed your discomfort, you glanced down, seeing yourself in your outfit from last night. 

after a shower and skincare, you still tried to ponder who had gotten you home last night. whoever it was knew your room, found your room key, and took care not to wake you as you were transported home.  

you pushed the thought down, thankful for whoever did it, but stopped wasting time on it. you packed up your suitcase and made your way back home. 

[youremyheaven]

Cancer Girls: Baby Voice Edition

I've noticed a pattern with many female celebrities who are known for their "baby voice" and I thought I'd make a post about it. Since Mercury is what affects our voice and style of speech the most, I'll be looking at Mercury placements along with big 3.

Obviously not everyone on this list has a natural baby voice, in fact I'd say the majority of them speak in a very affected pseudo baby voice for which they've become known. I had previously observed how Cancer rashi women do this THE most but here are more examples.

Marilyn Monroe

The OG Ingenue who was known for her breathy baby voice. She has Rohini Sun & Mercury along with Ashlesha Rising

2. Pamela Anderson

She has Ardra Sun, Punarvasu Mercury and Mrigashira Rising

3. Paris Hilton

She has a Pushya Moon and is known for her fake baby voice which her mother claimed she learned from her.

4. Drew Barrymore

She is Punarvasu moon & Mrigashira Rising

Many have noted that a lot of famous Punarvasus have a slightly ditzy way of speaking/demeanour. Almost all Mrigashiras have a very hyper, enthusiastic, kind of frantic and restless way of being and talking. They actually embody "golden retriever energy". I think the combination of these two nakshatras results in Drew's childlike enthusiasm and kind of frantic manic way of speaking and behaving. A lot of people think she's weird 😭but it's just her nature, even Pamela Anderson who shares similar placements has a similar demeanour.

5. Wonyoung

She has Punarvasu Venus conjunct Saturn (both of them are exactly conjunct so idk which one would be her amatyakaraka) and she has received a lot of flak for her "fake baby voice" 😭 Her real voice is naturally deeper and more mature but honestly Wonyoung is such a good example of a Jupiter dominant woman; they are obsessed with presenting themselves a certain way and are very "image conscious", this truly extends to everything from clothes, style, etiquette, speech, voice, absolutely everything. They know exactly what behaviours will elicit what responses.

6. Halsey

She is Punarvasu Moon (atmakaraka) & Mars along with Swati Mercury & Rising

She's known for singing in cursive 😭 but also just has a very sugary high pitched speaking voice. If you observe her even she has a very expressive, animated way of speaking, she's not quite ditzy but she's still almost childlike in her demeanour from time to time.

7. Ariana Grande

She is Ardra Sun & Punarvasu Mercury and she rose to fame for playing a ditzy airhead on Nickelodeon. She in fact spent many years speaking like Cat Valentine off screen as well until she underwent an image revamp in the mid 2010s and adopted a blaccent.

This video shows how when she was younger not only did she have a fake baby voice, she also had a very different slightly ditzy demeanour.

8. Shehnaaz Gill

She is an Indian reality star turned influencer who is known for her baby voice and exaggerated cutesy mannerisms. She is Pushya Moon.

(the interview is mostly in Hindi but you can observe her mannerisms and way of speaking)

9. Melissa Rauch

She has Punarvasu Mercury (amatyakaraka) and played Bernadette on Big Bang Theory where she spoke in a distinctive high pitched voice whereas in real life, her voice is entirely different.

10. Kristen Bell

She has Punarvasu Sun & Mercury. She literally voiced Princess Ana in Frozen. Watch any interview of hers and you will see how expressive she is when she talks, she uses her hands a lot, her face is so animated and its so Punarvasu like🥰

(Tumblr does not allow me to embed more than 10 videos per post so I'll just be linking the rest)

11. Jennifer Garner

She's Mrigashira Moon (atmakaraka), UBP Mercury, Rohini Stellium (Venus, Mars & Saturn)

She's a very good example of a typical Mrigashira. She always speaks like a very sweet, enthusiastic kid; very expressive, very animated.

Here's a link to her interview.

12. Mandy Moore

She's Revati Sun (atmakaraka) , Pushya Moon, Mrigashira Rising

She voiced Rapunzel in Tangled and imo Rapunzel is Tangled is a veryyyy good example of Mrigashira behaviour in many ways but especially with her mannerisms and manic pixie like behaviour which makes sense since she was voiced by a Mrig actress.

Here's a link to Mandy speaking

Here's a link to Rapunzel in Tangled

13. Jenny Slate

She is UBP Sun & Moon and Punarvasu rising

Her sense of humour and how she delivers jokes is a good mix of UBP and Punarvasu

Here's a link to a stand up bit

I've noticed that many Pisces rashi folks (UBP & Revati) are very expressive storytellers and have a very specific style of delivery (Salma Hayek, UBP Moon is a good example and so is Rihanna, Revati Moon).

Jenny has the dryness/deadpanned delivery of UBP mixed with the expressive frantic style of Punarvasu

14. Anna Kendrick

She is Ashlesha Sun (atmakaraka) & Mercury (amatyakaraka)

She has that typical Cancer girl sense of humour and speaking style

Here's a link

15. Mindy Kaling

She is Ardra Sun & Moon, Rohini Rising with Punarvasu Mercury

She rose to fame playing Kelly Kapoor who is a very typical Cancer gal tbh, replete with the slightly ditzy, hyper & manic style and mannerisms and squeaky excited voice.

Here's a link to her being Kelly

Here's a link of her as Mindy Lahiri on The Mindy Project

`16. Leslie Mann

She is UBP Sun, Revati Mercury and Pushya Ketu

Here's a link to an interview but Leslie is such a good example of this ditzy, kind of naive way of speaking. Her mannerisms and the way she delivers is so Pisces girlie of her.

17. Lana del Rey

She is Ardra Sun, Ashlesha Moon & Punarvasu Mercury

Lana is a good example of an introvert Cancer gal. People often think they're kind of weird and kookie and they have a chaotic kind of manic pixie way of speaking and behaving that it throws people off.

Here's a link, her speaking voice sounds very young and soft.

18.Rose Byrne

Pushya Sun & Moon, Ashlesha mercury

She's usually more composed and elegant but when she's more comfortable you see that Cancer girl charm come out. One thing all these women have in common is how they like to act out their stories and be very expressive with their face and body; their sense of humour is very silly and slapstick.

Here's a link

19. Emma Bunton aka Baby Spice

she is Pushya Sun, Mercury and Venus

(isnt it sweet that someone whose alter ego is literally called Baby Spice is a Cancer stellium 🥺)

Here's a link but Baby Spice is also a good example of a less manic but still very cutesy Cancer girl

Many Cancer girls have a tendency to "act cutesy" or "babyish" but also more often than not they are just very in touch with their inner child and kind of goofy and silly.

20. Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen

They're Mrigashira Sun, Punarvasu Mercury & Ashlesha Rising

If you've watched Full House or any of their movies, you can see the ditzy girly girl behaviour of Punarvasu come out but irl they're more introverted and a little awkward, sort of like Lana and seem funny in a shy way.

Claire Nakti had observed in her Swati video about how Swatis and Punarvasus share certain similarities, I've seen this extend to their behaviour and mannerisms as well. Jennifer Tilly, Mila Kunis (both Swati Moon) and Emma Stone (Swati Sun) all have a very similar energetic girly, sweet and humble but kind of kooky and silly style of speaking and story telling.

[trixree]

he is RISEN baby girl

hello hello! yes i'm alive, just very mentally ill. things are on the up and up and i have mega brainrot right now so i decided to try and get back on the "being a person" horse. you may see i've just posted some poolverine smut to AO3 here.

if you've sent me messages during my year hiatus (especially regarding commissions) I love and appreciate you and will be responding SOON, i PROMISE!

long ramble about where i'm at/life update below the cut.

May of 2023, I graduated with my masters. yaaay woo but also booo because it didn't help me get a job at all! i finally landed a paying gig in September of 2023 after sending out quite literally hundreds of applications. i only had two interviews total and a mountain of auto-rejections to show for it and it took an immense toll on my mental health. It started what was (in hindsight) a year of a prolonged downward spiral.

i already really struggled with self worth and turns out riding the merry-go-round of job hunting rejection cranked my depression up to new heights. for the first time in a long time, i found myself so low as to be entertaining thoughts of suicide. my eating disorder peaked the hardest it has since high school. i had also moved out of my parents house and in with my partner May of 2023 and was readjusting to being out of a traumatic environment. i had panic attacks anytime he came into a room too quietly and surprised me for months. I found myself isolated from most of my friends (partly because of my own communication death-spiral depression paralysis) and also because i moved to a different city than all of them to live with my partner again (0 complaints there, i love the city i live in and love my home with my partner and our bird children. however i miss my fucking friends, and the loneliness compounded the Despair Arc i was having.) My fucking health insurance changed because my previous policy holder retired and i lost some medications for a period of time, stressing my body in bad ways. a really bad spell of migraines compounded things chemically for the worst.

i borrowed some money to return to my therapist and my doc recently upped my antidepressant dose, and I can tell that both of those things but ESPECIALLY that last one there has helped already. My partner, closest friends, and even some coworkers have said I seem much better, too. I'm hopeful about it. Optimistic, even!

i did get a job working for a behavioral health nonprofit that provides outpatient psychiatric services in administration. It pays in fucking sheckles and pennies (nonprofits be like) and psych is a challenging environment to say the least. it was another 6-month fight to hammer out disability accommodations with HR. my body is a machine that consumes paid leave. as any of you that have danced an accommdations dance can probably attest, it sucks so goddamn bad. i had basically round after round of requests for my doctors to fill out paperwork that amounted to "will they get better? Are you sure? Alright, please estimate how often this person will need this accommodation in hours per week." of course it took an immense mental health toll, too. i kick ass at what i do and i do it chronically understaffed but it's really hard to feel secure anywhere when you're constantly missing work due to uncontrollable Body Bad Times (migraine, explosive diarrhea, uncontrollable vomiting, my three horsemen). especially if someone has a grudge, and someone did, which added extra layers of complexity.

i'll be honest, it's good to have something to get out of bed to go do 5/7 days of the week (i was going stir crazy without employment) but i'm running myself ragged and barely making it financially. not only was this body i have NOT built for an 8-5, i have less than 15$ to my name right now to show for it and i keep having to borrow money from my family for medication. but i truly love the people i work with and feel like i get to do good for my community where i'm at, and that's something folks!

speaking of health, i kind of got my gut stuff figured out? not really. but also yes! i don't have a diagnosis of any kind but i have a treatment that's WORKING for the constant nausea i was always blogging about last year. my GI put me on domperidone before meals and oh my god, total fucking game changer. no longer am i burping up half-digested food and walking around with 24/7 debilitating nausea AND my appetite even kicks in when i take the damn pills!!! the only down side is that domperidone is not FDA approved in the USofA because of sudden cardiac failure or what the fuck ever so i have to pay out of pocket for all of it. that's a good 150$ per month on top of all my other medication, so that's a bummer. but god, to have something that works!!! it's been so nice. no sudden heart failure yet, fingers crossed.

i have really bad executive dysfunction when it comes to responding to messages (i currently have 100+ unread text messages from friends and family) but i'm challenging myself to work through my backlog of messages in the coming days, so stay tuned if you've DM'd me in the last year. thank you for thinking of me and i appreciate you endlessly.

as for commissions, my life is just too unpredictable for me to be as consistent with those as i'd wanted to be. as much as having the bonus income was really amazing, i just feel like i'm too flakey and unreliable to deliver on that regularly and that's just a shitty thing to do to someone. (please check your DMs if this describes an interaction we had with me.)

i'm sorry if this decision is disappointing to anyone, but i think i'm going to stick to having a kofi live if folks feel inclined to show appreciation for any fic i post and maybe taking a comm very very rarely, once in a blue moon when circumstances allow. I do want to honor anyone that messaged me about a comm during my year hiatus. Please check your DMs. for my casual reader: none of my current projects on AO3 are abandoned. i've never stopped working on them this past year, even if it has only been in my notes app. i really want to start posting more regularly again. i miss the outlet immensely. I think it's good for me, creatively and for a sense of community. i hope you all understand and thank you. thanks for still being here.

[fentrashcat]

So I've been putting off talking about my tourettes recently bc it seems everytime I have the words to express what's going on, something new happens. So instead of trying to organize things or put them into like a semi story-time post, I'm just going to list things out. These will probably not be in chronological order because so much has been going on the last 2 or so months that I've lost track of all the "when"s.

⚠️everyone's experience with Tourette's or tic disorders will be different, I can only speak to my own⚠️

⚠️TRIGGER WARNINGS for descriptions of tics/tic attacks, description of self injurious tics, abilism ⚠️

1. Nicknamed my Tourette's gremlin "Archibald" or "Archie". I tend to yell at my tics already when I get frustrated or annoyed, so I named him. It's mostly to make myself laugh. Saying "Archie's being an ass" or "apparently Archie didn't like that" makes me giggle, and more so when my friends play along in cursing Archie. It also lets my mom/friends know I'm not hurting from my tics.

2. Developed a lot of new tics. Some I've had before as one offs but are now common ones. The new tics include saying "knock-knock", "hi" (hi being said in not my normal voice), "Beetlejuice!". I've also developed biting at the air? Like my head goes forward and I bite so that my teeth clack.

3. Developed a frequent, kind of self injurious tic. On the same day or week that "knock-knock" came about, I also started knocking on my head twice w my right hand. It can be really soft or really hard to the point it concerns my mom. We tried having me wear like a beanie but it seemed I knocked harder with the hat on, and I'm really picky about hats bc sensory.

4. Got told by the family member I work for that I could easily find another job if I "weren't so picky". I then had to explain to her that I have seen the change in an interviewers face from "You look like a great canidate" to "finish this up as quickly as possible and never contact them again" when I had to disclose my Tourette's (noticeable repeated tics, otherwise I'd never disclose). I also had to tell her that I was "coincidentally" let go from a job the day I had to disclose, after being told repeatedly that I was doing well before. I also had to tell her that the one job that seemed chill about my tics that wasn't family connected, I had to quit bc it was 30/40min away and I don't drive so was begging people to drive me.

5. Fully convinced Archie is actively trolling now, as the "Beetlejuice" tic came about after mom said her coworker said it and she had to repeat it 3 times fast (she also has tics but is undiagnosed). Then the "Beetlejuice" started and she had to repeat it everytime.

6. I've been working for like 4 weeks now, and have had Tourette's related issues 4 times now. I've left work an hour early twice, 5 hours early once, and had to miss a day due to tics/tic attacks.

7. The missed day actually happened this week. I started getting intense head jerk tics about an hour before my shift finished, but I wanted to try working through it. Every few minutes I'd be forced to quickly/violently look to the right 5-10 times in a row. It started to hurt really bad but I managed to finish out my shift. By the end of my shift my head, neck, and shoulders hurt like crazy, and pain meds didn't seem to help at all. (Wasn't sure if they'd help for repetitive motions but figured was worth a shot). It kept going like that for 3 or 4 hours before I relented and said I won't be able to come in the next day. I couldn't lift my arms above my head or look to either side from the pain of it all. I'm still sore like 2 days later but able to move around now.

8. Biting the air tic came about when I was kind of hungry, but apparently also happens when I'm pissed? Happens randomly too, but thought that was funny.

9. Trying to figure out how to get my family to understand that just bc tics CAN mean something is wrong, they don't ALWAYS mean something is wrong. I know they're just worried and wanting to help me but if I tic 3 or 4 times in a row they keep asking "what's wrong" and won't take "nothing, it's just happening" as an answer. At which point I end up getting frustrated because they keep asking and the frustration leads to more tics.

10. We pulled up at a gas station that was advertising hot dogs and my mom ticced "hot dog" in the same voice she uses when our puppy brings her her hotdog toy. She was trying to suppress it, and afterwards she looks at me and goes "I couldn't NOT say it, like it physically hurt trying to not, is that how you feel all the time?" And I was just like yeaaaah pretty much. Mom's tics are usually reactionary, and she doesn't get a lot of premonitory urges, so it was really unusual for her.

That's all I can think of at the moment, thank you for reading. If I think of anything else I'll probably make another post but I'm not sure if I will. Sorry this one was so dense, I've been putting this off for a while lol.