#I'm rambling cause I'm SO TIRED SO SO SO TIRED but I know I will not sleep tonight fml fml fml
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
chimindity · 2 days ago
Text
Soft spot
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary | Barry finds himself having a soft spot for reader. request by @/anon
pairing | barry x reader
warning | reader being on drug and all that stuff :0
A/N | ughh i love writing about my man 🙈
.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.
barry told himself not to get attached to any clients, just giving them their stuff and getting the money, and that’s it. but ever since barry became your dealer, his soft side started to grow around you. if you don’t have enough on you, he would absolutely let you pay the next time. and as oblivious as you are, you thought it was a normal thing to do for a dealer.
you stumble your way to his trailer, hammering on his door, quickly getting annoyed and impatient, deprived by the lack of substance in your blood. “barry, please open the door!” you yell, hoping he can hear you through the thin walls of his trailer.
as you were about to lose hope of him opening the door, you finally hear him talk, “no can do, sweetness. you've had enough; get back home.” his tone is firm. it's been two weeks since you ran out of drugs, and you need it now. you let out your emotions, sobbing as you keep knocking on his door. “barry, i'm begging you! just open that damn door!” you whine. at this point, you don't care if you're acting pathetic.
you sit down against his door, waiting in case he would open it. you sniffle into your sleeves as you keep rambling about all the reasons he should let you in. “barry, please, why won't you open it?” he hears you behind the door and can feel his heart clench at the sound of your crying. he sighs and eventually decides to open the door, causing you to quickly turn around to face him. a wide and reassured smile lights up your face at the sight of him.
you throw yourself around his neck, thankful to him for opening the door. your emotions are mixed as you keep crying in the crook of his neck. “thank you, barry, thank you. i—i need it,” you slur out, and he slowly pulls you away, then closes the door, leading you to his couch. “what's going on, huh? you told me you would stop it,” he says, sitting beside you and manspreading on the couch.
you break down in tears, bringing your hands to cover your face. “i need it now, just give it to me. i—i promise i'll pay you next time,” you stutter through your hiccups. meanwhile, barry doesn't know how to react. he knows he should give you a small bag of drugs and let you go, but he can't seem to do it. he feels his heart tighten at the sight. “no, no, no, that's not how that works, pretty girl. money or not, i ain't giving you some,” he softens his voice, finally bringing his hand to rub your back in a soothing way.
at this point, you don't even realize he scoots closer to you until he brings your shivering figure into his arms, hushing you the best he can as you keep sobbing. “it's so hard, barry,” you mumble into his shirt. he rests his chin on top of your head while listening to your usual yapping session that happens when you're lacking drugs. he knows how hard it is to suddenly stop taking drugs
“let me take a look at you,” he whispers, gently lifting your head with his hand and looking into your teary, puffy eyes. “you're tiring yourself out, huh? all that crying won't make me give you what you want.” he wipes your tears away with his thumbs. your bottom lip quivers as you begin to calm down, and you sheepishly shake your head.
barry has always given you the amount of drugs you needed, although you don't understand why he doesn't want to give it to you when you need it the most. you finally take your courage and look up at him. “why are you doing this?” he swears he has never felt that kind of protectiveness toward someone before. he thinks for a moment before looking back at you. “you think i don't give a fuck about my favorite client? i'm tryna lead you to the right path, kid, and drugs ain't the right one.” he smiles at you in a comforting way, gently running his fingers through your hair.
you sniffle and slowly rest your face against his chest, accepting the fact that he won't give you any drugs anymore. “do you think it's normal that i always feel safe with you?” you look up at him, his arms caging you in, pressing your body against him. he chuckles a bit as he looks down at you. “how's that? i'm just being nice around you, nothing else.” he hums and lightly pats your head, motioning for you to rest a little before tucking you in his bed. he sits on a chair in his bedroom to watch over you in case you need him.
taglist
@jjsfavgirl ; @nemesyaaa ; @mrvlxgrl ; @tinylilacbun ; @jjmaybankssurfergf ; @mylettterstoyou ; @sweetstars-posts ; @hallecarey1
49 notes · View notes
herewithinthevoid · 23 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
992 notes · View notes
doubleedgemode · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Happy summer, everybody!
This has been a big project to take and while there's stuff to improve I'm pretty happy with it. Be sure to zoom in the big picture for details and read the comic from left to right. (Needless to say, please don't try A.B.A's behaviour.. For your safety)
Bonus doodle:
Tumblr media
#a.b.a#paracelsus#slayer#guilty gear#I almost forgot slayer's shirt pattern! I was also supposed to draw his cape floating over sharon to shield her from the sun but...#this whole drawing collection took roughly a month to complete and I forgot. I'm too tired right now#speaking of. it's my first time drawing sharon I hope she's okay!#yes slayer carries and wears in the nose his 200 spf sunscreen from xrds treasure hunt animation :)#as for the big main picture. it left me quite exhausted and I know the lighting leaves a lot to be desired but I'm proud! learnt a lot#first time drawing blue para too. I hope his metallic sheen is alright#more than aba's skin sheen for sure. I'll improve it in the future! btw tweaked a bit her attire's palette from last time and made her keep#the headband cause trying to figure out how her hair would properly fall was a hassle lmao#fun fact: the bird is an european herring gull#the crab is an edible crab and the palm trees are coconut palm trees with no fruit lol#I wanted to draw fan palms which are a kind of palm tree that deserves more love but the leaf shape was so difficult to draw#I did struggle a lot with these two.. they look more like feathers but again. that can be studied and improved in the future#despite all the lows summertime can have for me whenever it's a nice day and we can go to the beach I feel everything is worth it and will#be okay. hope I could translate that here. hi new people I tend to ramble a lot in my post tags#art tag2b named#sharon
65 notes · View notes
iwanttobepersephone · 15 days ago
Text
So, my mom was telling me how much free time I have, and I was like, "I have no freetime wth do you mean?????" And I just wanna see if this is like. A normal way to think of things?
Things I need to do:
Finish reading icebound land
Make a whole lotta art that I promised people
Research study abroad programs
At least one Dutch lesson a day
Keep my room clean
Talk to my friends so they know I love them (and so I don't go insane)
My math homework
Keep myself clean (showers, finally brushing my teeth after months, etc etc) so I don't go insane
Eat at 7pm
Various things I enjoy as to not go insane
All from 6pm to 9 pm, every day, after being at school from 8 am to 3:30 pm and then The Public (teen center) from 3:30 to 5:30, and I need to be in bed by 9:30 and asleep by 10:00
So, basically, I'm "on the clock" from 7 am (When I start getting ready for school) until 9 pm, with no breaks
But yeah no I totally have free time. Yeaup
27 notes · View notes
hakusins · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
just wanted to say that i hit 300+ followers a long time ago and i just want to say 🥺🥺🥺 thank you !!!!!!! honestly i'm so grateful for all of you, especially as i just yap about different things that you may or may not be into! HBREFHJERBF
i actually do plan on doing an event to celebrate it!! but im so busy ;;A;;; thankfully though, i only have 4 more deadlines for the year and i'll prob start the event somewhere around july and hopefully by then there'd be more!!!!
but right now with like 3 hours of sleep in my system, all i can say now is thank you and i hope you guys continue to support me for a long time 🥺 i'm having a lot of fun here with you all!
15 notes · View notes
supernovaa-remnant · 5 months ago
Text
I am so incredibly slowly reading through the dreblr big bang fics, but even though I've only read a few so far, I'd like everyone to know that all the fics are so good and everyone should go check them out <3
it was a really fun event to be a part of, and everyone put so much work in, and all the fics and art are absolutely lovely so yeah go check it out <33
7 notes · View notes
ying-doodles · 7 months ago
Text
my brain is running a million miles a minute rn
help
#ying rambles#let me try to just spew out my ideas in here so i'm not making so many individual posts#uh let's see#i wanna make an underwater version of void ying (my main sona rn)#where instead of having stars all over there's little fish? and they're wearing a clear raincoat and boots#i wanna draw myself in little outfits again (like those old wardrobe memes that are like pjs casual formal etc)#i need to actually sit down and draw new pfps for main and spam cause i'm tired of my current ones#it seems like the reverse absolutes are winning the poll so i have to come up with an archangel javier design (not that hard actually)#but i want to try to draw his rainbow wings in that piece?? maybe??#and then there's the turnaround i just talked about that i have to figure out#cause that's like what. 4 frames if we keep it simple (front left back right). or 8 if we do quarter turns (so many angles..)??#and then there's the drifting closer comic that's in second place in the poll#i have a vague idea of what i want it to look like but i need to sit down and sketch it to actually figure it out#and then at some point i need to figure out what the fck i'm drawing for the tged zine#cause i don't actually know what i'm gonna do yet (but i have until june to think on it i guess)#and. and...#... i think that's everything?#no there's still a lot of other stuff i wanna do but these tags are so long by now..#if you read them all uh good on you i guess?#i gotta go to bed i need to cease thinking-
8 notes · View notes
visdiefje · 11 months ago
Text
I'm pretty sure my experiences haven't changed from when I last asserted my identity labels but my view kinda has I guess
#in the sense of. who cares about an orientation label if nothing ever really comes from it yknow.#it's fruitful yearning towards individuals my brain latches onto. that's the extent of it#there's no reciprocated dynamic that allows it to ever get to grow into sexuality#so like yeah I'm demi but 99.9% of the time sexuality just doesn't play into anything at all#and when it does it's brief blips that also don't go anywhere#and I have a pretty good idea of the pool of people I'm theoretically attracted to#but that also just. doesn't matter much once my brain latches onto someone and runs its tiring one sided course#and my gender is still accurate technically but I also have Nothing to say or think about it. it's all whatever#basically all the labels are still accurate it just means very little to me anymore.#it's weird cause it used to be an identity point right. of like hi! I'm [gender] [sexuality] and it's rooted in how you see yourself#and now if I think about how I would introduce myself. well. I wouldn't know but those elements aren't really on the radar to be honest#it comes into play so rarely that like. literally who cares#it's just wild cause people my age who I used to share online spaces with are still strongly debating over what it means to be x or y#and it just. doesn't matter to me anymore. I'm Anders and I like people out of my league generally speaking. hi etc#anyway musing rambling. it's okay if you feel different also#I guess those posts about how definitions matter less when you're older and more in irl spaces were right#bien rambles
10 notes · View notes
stellacadente · 1 month ago
Text
i clearly really love my family bc i'm willing to watch movies i know i'm gonna hate just bc they wanna watch them together
4 notes · View notes
gxlden-angels · 1 year ago
Note
Hello! I apologize if this is a nosy question, but what is the silly feelings wheel app you were talking about in a previous post? My therapist and I have been working on identifying feelings but I still very much rely on a list of feeling words to have any idea what I’m feeling, so it could be a helpful resource. No worries if you don’t want to share, just thought I would ask :)
It's called How We Feel! I'm not sure if it's available on all devices yet, but it's on ios and the google play store for sure.
I've been using it for about a year. It's more of a chart than a wheel but people usually recognize the wheel better so that's what I call it. When you first start it has a 10-part tutorial about emotional acceptance and regulation, then it has suggestions for each category of emotion. You can access both at any time tho after those first 10 days.
It has a share option so you can have friends, which has been great for me cause it prompts me to check on friends and them to do the same for me. It allows you to just respond with a little emoji in like a "I'm here for you" little notification to your friend, or you can reach out to your friend on your own. Its really helped me cause I'm bad at reaching out when I need support so to me and I'm bad about taking on other's problems even when I can't handle it so being able to send a little emoji instead to make sure my friends know I'm there if they need me and them doing the same has been great
#I know I sound like I'm a being sponsored by this app but it's genuinely been incredible for my mental health#whenever I get frustrated in therapy now about not being able to describe a feeling my therapist asks me to think about the chart#he'll ask me what color I feel and go 'good! do you want to narrow it down from there or continue with just that?' and it's so helpful#I have such terrible alexithymia from both cptsd and autism#it took a year of working with him to even recognize when I felt angry or hungry or sick#my friends and I check in on each other regularly now but it feels less intrusive#cause it feels like indirectly reaching out so it's less pressure to directly respond#and it might not feel the same for everyone since it could be jarring to get a notification saying friend feels miserable#but now that I've gotten used to it I don't feel like I need to solve their problems and make them feel better#Like they might be miserable because they're sick! So I check in and they say they're sick but okay and I don't feel the impulse to solve#like I would if I just didn't see them then saw them in person and saw they looked miserable#I don't blame myself or feel like I personally need to fix everything because I know they felt like that from an outside source I can't#control but I can certainly help them if they want! It's their choice tho and I don't feel bad if they don't/I can't#I feel less need to control my emotions/force them to be positive like I used to cause nobody feels positive 24/7 and I can see it#I don't feel the need to be politely content like I did in church because no one can be 24/7. I've attempted to get my family to start but#they're still stuck in needing to not be openly negative. It also helps me accept that negative feelings don't last forever#Someone feeling miserable because they're sick eventually puts they feel tired. Then chill and I know they feel better and I feel better too#Anyways thanks for listening to me ramble about my silly little feelings wheel app I hope it helps you like it helped me anon <3
7 notes · View notes
moinsbienquekaworu · 1 year ago
Text
I'm sorry I'm going to be insane for a second, avert your eyes
#i will mention i'm aroace and combined with this kind of like. moe-ness i exude apparently?#will lead people to immediately think i'm so pure and cutie pie and shy and uwu adorable#and of course people never know what aromanticism is but even after an explanation they just think it's an extension of my asexuality#bitch no it isn't. they're two separate things and i am going to killl you with psychic lasers#i swear to go they hear aroace and suddenly all the contrastic aspects of my personality disappear#some people will forget that i get loud and enthusiastic about men i think are hot#suddenly i am a meek angel who's soo cute and pure!#and i can mention how much i know about & like sex in theory and kink and romance#and every time it's 'that's funny cause you're asexual' 'you're aroace but your special interest is sex what a contrast' like argh#i need aro friends!!!! more!!!!!!!!#sure i like being cute but if people could stop equating that to being a pure angel it'd be nice#like. i'm into the theoretical side of sex! i like reading about kink! in sexy AND educational ways!!#i know what sex is and i have been the friend who does specific sex ed to others a few times!#but nooo she's kind of small feminine a little shy at times and asexual so surely the millions of words of sex & sex ed don't exist anymore#vagueing people i live with <3#and i've corrected the specific person i'm thinking of!! i have!!#i've told them 'oh yeah it's a fun contrast but it IS a genuine interest of mine that i've put a fair amount of time into over the years'#and they just forget it and keep making the joke every time!#oh i am Tired#wow i have a ramble tag now
13 notes · View notes
iwanttobepersephone · 5 months ago
Text
Sometimes I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that the person making a post about how there's no aroace rep anywhere clearly doesn't have my algorithm, where all I see is aroace rep, and if they did, they would have worded this post differently, and there's no reason to get frustrated
But at the same time... ALL I SEE IS AROACE REPRESENTATION AND YEAH Y'ALL DESERVE IT BUT PLEASE I JUST WANT TO SEE SOME OF MY FELLOW LESBIANS P L E A S E
(I haven't written the tags yet but I have a feeling they're gonna be important to read lol)
9 notes · View notes
teenytraveler · 6 months ago
Text
hi guys i'm still alive btw work's just been kicking my butt cause i've been working over time for over 2 weeks now pls don't forget about me i just don't have the time nor energy for art rn :((
3 notes · View notes
heyitslapis · 3 months ago
Text
Ok
#kinda vent post cause ive been anxious ever since we got coffee this evening#I promise I'm not trying to be weird or anything. I'm just#I just really don't want to screw this up. I know we spent almost the last year avoiding each other#And I know things between us were rocky for a bit before that#and I hope I'm not overwhelming you. I know things won't be better overnight#I know we've distanced so much and theres so much awkward history there. I know things are different now#And I respect that. I respect your relationship and your new life. I'm not trying to impose or make you uncomfortable#I'm just anxious and tbh scared an nervous too. I don't want to fuck this up. If theres a chance for us to be close friends again I want it#Im so so so scared of fucking it up. I feel like I forgot how to be friends & after the way I left things Im scared that I lost my chance#I'm scared that it's not gonna work and that a permanent goodbye is in our future. I'm scared that you won't want me around after all#I would understand if that became the case.. but I really don't want that#I cant text you this without seeming like an overbearing clingy anxious mess of an ex but ive been on the verge of a panic attack all night#just for the fear that I'm fucking up already somehow. Just the fear that this isn't going to work and I shouldn't even try#I think I spent so long avoiding you that now I don't know what to do with myself. But I'm trying to be normal#I promise I dont have any motives other than missing a really great friendship and being tired of missing friends#And maybe I still have a ways to go in the emotional healing department but I think I'm ok enough to try. I've been ok for a while now#If you see this please know that I mean every word. If you never see it thats ok because I just need to get it off my chest before I burst#I don't want to scare you off or lose you again. if thats what it comes to then know I'll always miss and appreciate you for all my days#Thats all. Ive been a ball of nerves all evening & I just needed to air this out cause having this weight sitting on my chest is too much#emma rambles#personal#vent post
1 note · View note
aceofstars16 · 8 months ago
Text
Ugh, I want to write but also just...don't want to do anything at all...
2 notes · View notes
nmzuka · 2 years ago
Text
I hate starting my day caught in a loop of being miserable
8 notes · View notes