#i never missed being a part of art community and drawing so much like i do now

[teenytraveler]

hi guys i'm still alive btw work's just been kicking my butt cause i've been working over time for over 2 weeks now pls don't forget about me i just don't have the time nor energy for art rn :((

[smartie-chan]

Long rambling incoming in 3,2,1...

I know that I'm not really any kind of big celebrity in the Stobotnik world. The only thing I've got going for myself is the fact that I've been there since the very beginning, with my one 'I'm so proud of this community' Meme getting a like or two every full moon or so. It's also been a hot second since I've written a Stobotnik Fic, and yet, I've never really left the fandom. Far from it.

So boooooy, when that trailer dropped, let's just say, I've been going wild! That being said, I have calmed down a tiny bit and woud like to share my two cents with you all.

Especially since, considering how gay the trailer was, I've noticed people kind of leaning into either of two camps.

Team 1: They might actually make it canon y'all. This is not a drill!!!!

or

Team 2: This is the most intense queerbaiting I've ever seen, but fuck it, take my money!

Now, I will tell you where I'm standing at the end of things, but let's talk facts before I do, shall we?

I know Jim & Lee were having fun on set during Movie 1, but I doubt either of them expected us all to get quite this feral over these two evil man. In fact, I'm not sure what their plans were for Agent Stone in general. I'd love to believe that they saw us freaking the fuck out and decided to make Stone a big part of the sequels because of that. But then I look at the Robotnik Mushroom Planet scene and think: They gave this man an actual stone to hold onto, going so far as to carve Stone's face into said stone, just so he could pretend he wasn't alone and Stone was still with him. Clearly, Robotinik was never willing to admit that he cared, admit that there could be someone who he had allowed to get close, given that there had never been anyone before who had cared enough about HIM, so why should HE make the mistake of caring about someone else either. Cause, you know, it's easier to pretend there's noone than admit that there could be, just to realise that you were wrong actually. And yet. Despite all that he held onto Stone the stone, like his life depended on it. I love that scene because it's hella gay, but I love it even more because it's amazing writing, giving us the payoff for the forshadwed "I won't miss you when you're gone" scene from way back when. They didn't have to do that. And yet they made that choice. Included that moment for a reason. So I'd love to think that even back then, they were very willing to play with the dynamic of them going forward.

Clearly things and plans changed After Movie 1 , after we saw these two and made Stobotnik as big as it is. I'll talk about movie 2 in a hot second, but let's return to the way they promoted 2 first. Cause THAT was CLEARLY queerbaiting ... or was it... ? For you see, they knew what they were doing, they knew how to get us all excited , posting this on Valentine, letting Sonic make a heart, drawing the whole thing in a romantic light, going so far as to include bi-lighting in the trailer. On top of the latte art that was designed to get us queers to show up. I saw that art, freaked out and showed it to all of my friends. One friend, let's call her Barbara, smiled at me, like you smile at somone who still believes in the Easter Bunny and told me she hoped I knew they were playing with me. In fact, she was kind of dissapointed I allowed them to get to me so much. And I KNEW. I knew they were trying to bait me. I'm not stupid. This isn't the first time I've been queerbaited after all. And it won't be the last time, that's for sure. And yet, I didn't care because I loved that they acknowledged us. Loved that they were willing to give us something, even if it wasn't actually real and they were clearly NEVER going to include actual ship latte art of Stone & Robotnik together. Cause that would be gay. Haha. And those two totally weren't gay. Ain't I right? :)) Queer rep has gotten more common and yet, so has queerbaiting. Cause nowadays the chance that something could be actually made canon is way more likely than it was, let's say, 15 years ago. So companies love to use that, love playing into that even more. Like, do I have to remind you all what they were doing for the Deadpool & Wolverine movie marketing ??? Just saying.

As much as I love Lee and as much as we're loosing our marbels every time he as much as winks in our direction, I'll not be using any of his posts as evidence for the points I'm about to make further down. Cause, you know, at the end of the day, he's just one of us as well. Another shipper. A hella supportive shipper who may or may not have had a hand in the way he portrayed Stone, but still. Love you Lee. Thank you for having our back!

So now. Movie 2. And the godforsaken Maid Dress Scene. I hope we are all proud of ourselves. Cause that scene was our doing. I promise you, promise you!!! they didn't have that planned before the fandom happend. They saw us and were like "You can have this. As a treat :3". Personally I didn't freak out as much as the rest of you all, but I'm glad you guys had fun. It was a gift to us after all, so I guess it's fine if we enjoyed it. Jokes aside though, let's get back to what movie 2 did, even though they may or may not have realised it at the time. As in: They made Stobotnik canon. What do you mean by canon, Smartie?????, you might ask. And I'll answer, cause it's simple: I mean canon, as in canon. Yes, that's right. Stobotnik has been canon for a while... or... at least 50% of it. Let's get back to the Latte, shall we? Back then I thought they were making fun of us. Queerbaiting at it's finest. And then the movie happend and Stone confessed his love right then and there for the world to see, basically drawing fanart into Robotnik's caffe for who knows how long and Robotnik? That stupid -3000 IQ genius knew. He fucking knew!! Has always known and was either unwilling to read between the lines or mistook the affection for simple loyalty. Not-Spoiler: It's the later by the way, because we have that deleted scene. That beautiful deleted scene. But let's get back to the art for a second. Because I was basically dying in my seat. And I didn't think people were talking about it enough, cause it was the proof, not that stupid maid outfit that was simply put in as a joke that audiences were supposed to laugh at. But this. This! The whole scene were Stone was lovesick and heartbroken, drawing art of his lost non-lover, the way the life returned to his eyes the second said man returned, on top of literally all of him for the rest of the movie prooved one thing to me: Agent Stone was in love with Dr. Robotnik. It's clear he's never said so out loud, and for a good reason, but he didn't have to. It was so obvious anyone with an IQ lower than 299 could have seen. Just a shame that that one 300 IQ guy couldn't. So now, deleted scene time. Woopwoop. :P Recall how they had planned to make Stone even more in love and heart-eyed - JESUS CHRIST MY GUY - but went for an alternative scene instead? In case you aren't familiar with the scene, it's basically Stone telling Robotnik how he's followed his guide-lines, making the Stone Comic Canon, how he's made sure noone touched his babies, how he's known he'd return, how he's waited for him all this time cause he knew KNEW he'd come back and for a second there Robotnik doesn't know what to say. He looks that man in the eyes and for a split second he wonders, questions, and then... then he's scared. Scared of what that could mean. Scared that he could actually mean something to someone and he panics and decides to use violence to laugh it off, to refelect, to pretend that in that moment, he didn't actually feel something. That Stone didn't make him feel ... vulnerable. Because at that point, he cares too. He's not ready to admit it, at least not without having to joke about it. But he does. He does!! And the thought of it being mutual scares him. Probably more than anything ever has. Because if he allows this, this feeling to settle and bloom, he's got to admit that this, whatever it is, has the power to destroy and hurt him. And he can't do that. Maybe not again. Maybe not ever. Not now. Not now that he's what... 40? and has found peace with the fact that he'll die alone.

I know they were leaning into Stobotnik a lot, but they also... kind of didn't, following the natural consequences of the stuff they had set up in the prior movie, allowing Robotnik to go through an actual character arc. It's subtle, and he's still and asshole - always wil be - but that doesn't change the fact that his arc still exists and is actually very well done. Stone doesn't really have that obvious of an arc. Because it's not really much of an arc, we're just learning more about him, fleshing out his character. The only thing we know for certain is, that he adores and loves Robotnik and that he's willing to betray everyone and everything for him. Even if Robotnik never loves him back. He's accepted that, as long as he's alowed a place at his side.

And now, my fellow shippers, movie 3. Or rather, pre-movie 3. And the much discussed question: Are we getting queerbaited? Well, that depends how you define queerbaiting, doesn't it? Is it queerbaiting if it's unrequited love? Cause that's our current standpoint. Stone has found his doctor, nursed him back to health, lived with him, been by his side for months (years) and the only thing that is standing in their way now is: Robotnik's feelings. They have great build-up, put this man on a path, shown us how he's grown and now all that's left is to see, how they'll decide to finish his story. If I look at all that's happend up to this point, from a writing/writer stand-point, I'd say, that it would make sense for Robotnik to admit, that he cares. Cause that has been his arc, his journey. To admit that yes: He doesn't care about humanity, but he does care about Stone. Has for a very long while in fact. Be that platonic, or romantic. Doing literally anything else would not make sense at that point and would actually be an insult to their own work. And their writing has been pretty solid, so I'm confident we will get something. Especially since... I HAVE seen the leaks. Now, storyboards are just that. Something from early development, something that could change. Which is why I'd normally ignore them.... iiiiiiiif it weren't for that one line from the trailer. That one. fucking. line. That made me realise: Holy shit, those mad lads are doing it. They are finishing Robotnik's arc. That's when I understood why Team 1 was loosing their marbels. Because,

SPOILER!!!!! he is going to admi it. He is going to admit it to himself, and he's gonna do something so wild and crazy it scares me more than you understand. The only question is. Will he surive to tell the tale? And if he does, will he be brave enough to share that admission with Stone?

END OF SPOILER

I don't have links to the storyboard. In retrospect, I should have saved them. But what's done is done. Not that I cod delete the knowledge of what I've seen even if I tried. People seem hesitant to tell people all they have seen, cause those of us who have, and know the Sonic 2 story seem to have a good understanding of what and when that spoiler is taking place. And especially what outcome it seems to be leading into. But, if anyone asks, I am willing to share what it was I saw. If you really wanna know. If you are truly sure.

That being said. How do I feel about Stobotnik? I don't think we're getting a kiss. But I think (and hope) we're gonna get a moment. A moment of Robotnik being open, of him sharing that Stone means somethig to him. They even have the potential to include a joke here, of Stone perhaps attempting to hug Robotnik, for him to allow it for 3 seconds or so, only for him to punch Stone and say something along the lines of: "Okay, that's enough." You know, something close to the High Five moment, just THIS TIME they actually do the high five (or hug). You can have the feels and the joke. It's still Robotnik after all. It's what I'm hoping for, actually, cause I don't think Robotnik is ready for THAT admission quite yet. A hug though? That I could see.

I know we still have to fight against being exploited and played with, but that being said, I don't think love confessions have to always be that huge thing, that clashing of tongues and body parts. They can also be soft and quite. A moment of vulnerability and trust. Of openness. In fact, if Robotnik were to allow Stone a hug, it would be even more impactful than a kiss could ever be. He's hugging Gerald in the trailer, so they have shown me that they are not afraid to make this man hug.

It gives me hope. And it - and the leaks - are the reason why I'm Team 1. I think we could actually get canon Stobotnik you all. And I'm so hyped you don't understand. Let's see what Stobotnik marketing they are going to feed us over the next few months. I, for one, am looking forward to it. ^-^

Live long and prosper 🥚🖤🪨

[ihopesocomic]

Sorry for the mini-essay but I think people massively underestimate how much hard work and dedication goes into a Passion Project. People think that creators who make free content, who do their work as a hobby and not as a job, must only get enjoyment out of it.

That’s not how it works. Doing it purely because you want to doesn’t automatically make the more challenging, frustrating, or (gasps) TIME CONSUMING parts of the project any less burdensome. If anything, it makes it worse because you aren’t being paid for all of that labor. You’re just doing it for the sake of doing it, and as rewarding as it can be, it can also be demanding.

Im finally publishing a fanfic for the first time and don’t get me wrong, it’s been great to get feedback on my work and interact with a community. I love that there are usernames and profile pictures I can actually identify because they’re regulars on my work.

But does that mean I don’t have to constantly redo work because I don’t like how it turned out? No. Does that mean I always update on time? No. Never get burnout? No. I still very much go through all of the things paid writers do, because the Creative Process is difficult and demanding no matter what they paycheck is or isn’t.

And all of that is just if you guys WERE missing updates, which you’re NOT. So like… these complaints are not only very entitled and ignorant, but also just confusing. People really just be mad for the sake of being mad, I guess?

Anyways yeah, free content creators are still content creators, and passion-driven hard work is still hard work. You two are cranking out absolutely STUNNING visuals, compelling characters and engaging worldbuilding every single week and that’s amazing. Thank you for your hard work and I’m sorry about the twerps that don’t appreciate it enough!

Ah the price we pay for being human and having a brain, amirite haha

It's to be expected, to a certain point, that people simply don't understand that things like comics and cartoons take time. General impatience is something that can be ignored. If people asking for updates bothered us, we wouldn't post anywhere ever haha You gotta have at least SOME backbone if you want to do a comic. Or anything really.

Comics are a TON of work, and I knew this going in cuz I've done shorter comics before. It is not to be treated as if its easy. (Well, its easier than animating a whole series by yourself LOL) There's a lot of pre-comic planning that people don't tell you about. And that's just the stuff you have to do before you even start drawing. Of course this only applies to long-form storytelling, there's different rules for different kinds of comics.

And I won't even get into what it takes to making the comic itself, there's a lot of parts that need to be considered like formatting, time-management, what shortcuts you have to take to save on labor, and getting across as much information as you can in a short amount of time, while using mostly visuals. It's a skill, so it can be learned haha

A lot of doing comics is on-the-job training. Which I know can be frustrating for perfectionists, but from a reader's perspective, part of the joy of webcomics is seeing how far the art has come. And you can't exactly get out a webcomic if you keep redoing things over and over. You'll burn yourself out even faster. This is why it's important to have a plan lol it just makes it easier to adjust if you have to change things, than if you have no plan at all.

Even if RJ and I for whatever reason no longer felt passionate about this story, and wanted to move on to something else entirely, we wouldn't leave everyone hanging. We'd tell everyone what happens one way or another. Because too many people just abandon a story just to tell another one, and that's not fair to people who were here to read a story that appealed to them.

But the entitlement of people sucks, the constant heckling, the fact we can't moderate our own comment section, and more importantly Webtoons just sucks as a site anyway. - Cat

[annoying--moth]

No matter how many times it is explained to me or I talk about it with someone, I can't fully grasp what exactly is going on with art in the arc of a scythe universe. Because like,

It's stated multiple times that post-mortal art is "bland" and "uninspired" and "redone to death," and while I can certainly understand SOME art being like that, surely not all art is like that?? And I understand this in the sense that like, everyone's constantly remaking/repainting/making their own versions of famous paintings and such, but also there still has to be people who don't do that, right??? Like maybe I just have zero reading comprehension and somehow missed the bigger picture, but I feel like all this talk about art being redone to death implies that no one is making original art anymore? Which just. doesn't seem feasible to me?? Because as an artist myself, I can't see immortality taking away my ability to draw or come up with cool ideas. I don't draw because I'm going to die one day, I draw because I like it, and it's a form of creative expression. You can always come up with something new to draw- whether it's a cool oc, or someone you know, or just something random and abstract. The possibilities never end!

Of course, I suppose there is the argument then that people just aren't creative anymore, but I also find that hard to believe. I couldn't imagine ever truly running out of ideas. Like I mentioned above, OCs people??? I highly doubt there's no one in the post-mortal era still making weird, whacky, badass, or just cute OCs. Heck, I'd expect scythe ocs to be really popular! I wonder if it's like a thing for every kid to have a scythe oc phase..? Or at least kids in certain communities/fandoms (like scythe card trading- maybe they make their own cards for their scythe ocs!)

And also, it's confirmed that fiction is still very much a thing in the post-mortal era (I know zombies are referenced in one Gleanings story) so it's not like people can only connect to non-fiction. That's another thing that's discussed more in terms of theatre and writing- people not being able to connect to the themes because they're so far removed from it in reality. But my thing is, I've never experienced war or death (until very recently at least) and I still don't find myself unable to sympathize with people losing their loved ones to death or war or disease, although I suppose this could also have to do with the nanites. Plus the fact that death and war still exist in society as an actual thing that happens, but idk.

Also by the way- I feel like that one Gleanings story The Mortal Canvas has a subtle diss on digital art? And I have nothing against traditional art- heck I probably draw traditionally more often since I'm always doodling/sketching, but I feel like just because art is digital doesn't mean it's "uninspired" or whatever people were saying in the books. In fact, I've found myself moved emotionally by more digital pieces than traditional ones (although I don't see a lot of traditional paintings compared to digital ones tbf)

Also also I want to say- I don't exactly know how well this relates to my point but that one dude in The Mortal Canvas who made the others' artstyles into filters was a huge douchebag. AI art type shit, I was ready to strangle him reading that.

I remember the bit in The Toll about Ezra the artist, and how he said he was just "decent" or "moderately good" or something along those lines when we first met him, and I was going to make an argument about that part too but to be honest it's been a little while since I've read The Toll so I'll have to come back to that one once I reread it. But I think it also had to do with the emotional/creative aspect of art, which again, I refuse to believe immortality has such an influence on creativity that no art is original or interesting anymore. Sure it might make certain things harder, or make motivation worse, but I feel like if someone is truly creative it doesn't matter? Though then again, I'm not immortal so what do I know.

I briefly mentioned nanites earlier, and that is one thing that I do think probably has an impact, and I specifically mean emo-nanites. Since post-mortals can't feel as strong emotions as us mortal humans, perhaps that's also why their art seems more uninspired or whatever, because they can't put as much emotion into it. However, an excess amount of emotion isn't exactly needed to make art either. Like as I was writing this I was looking through my own art and realised that for some pieces I wasn't putting any emotional thought whatsoever into the pieces, yet there's still a clear emotion there when you look at them. Joy, wonder, whatever.

Anyway in conclusion, I think that it's unrealistic to say that all post-mortal art would be dull, uninspired, and meaningless, because I believe there will always be creative people who will make art not because they're gonna die one day, but because they want to and enjoy it, simple as that. Thanks to whoever stuck around long enough to read this far, I really hope it made sense. It's kinda late while I'm writing this and tbh I'm half-expecting there to be some huge detail/plot point that I missed that makes my whole argument totally invalid, whether that's me misinterpreting all the bits about post-mortal art or just being a complete dumbass with zero media literacy. Either way hope this was a fun read, I don't write long-form posts like these super often (note the lack of confidence in my media literacy skills) and if I made a really bad argument/missed something huge please be nice in the notes, I have a fragile ego :(

Uh yeah anyway I think I got everything as usual don't take my rambling *too* seriously, I just always found it confusing how post-mortal art is said to be so "uninspired" (I keep using that word cause I reread chapter 3 of Scythe today and Faraday uses it there) when I personally can't imagine not being able to be creative, though perhaps I'm just self-projecting. So uh, yeah.

[troloyunu]

Sorry if you've answered this somewhere before, but do you have any advice for improving/practicing art?

I am not sure if I am the best person to be giving advice on this matter as there are a lot of aspects of my art that are lacking, but here are some tips that have worked for me personally that I think worth are trying!

This got kinda long so. Under the cut!

First, this is always important, and I know people are sick of hearing this but it's true: practice, practice, practice! Observing things is very important for art but you actually have to try your hand again and again in order to have a result that is to your liking when it comes to art. Please just try to draw as much as you can. You have a pen in your hand? Scribble something. This will also improve your linework.

Do NOT be afraid to use references. It is highly unlikely that you will just happen to be able to draw something you have never drawn before without a reference. If you can't find any refs, take your own pictures. (I do this a lot when it comes to drawing hands)

Most of the time we have these conceptions of how things look especially when it comes to anatomy but humans are all sooo vastly different so I believe it is important to broaden your vision by using diverse references

Don't be afraid to draw bad. Seriously. If a piece you just made sucks, don't beat yourself up about it. It is geniunely not that serious. Take a break and come back to it, if it is still not to your liking and you cannot improve it; it is okay to delete that drawing and try something else. You'll get it, I promise. Just keep practicing.

Most of the time I find that it helps A LOT to draw something I am obsessed with. When I am learning anatomy, I don't just always draw some random people's pics I found on the internet, I will sometimes make that drawing into a character/ship I love

Do redraws from your old art! It is so motivating and fun to see how you have improved and changed as an artist :3

I know it is not healthy to rely solely on validation, but it does help a lot! If you are part of a community, esp one with a lot of artists, don't hesitate to show them your work! You can also draw your friends' ocs and such if you want to, it really is a win win situation because you will be drawing something you want to draw and your friend will be so happy that you took the time to draw their character. I loved gifting people little doodles when I was part of an oc centred fandom :D

Also, since we are talking about validation, validate YOURSELF please. Imagine yourself 2 years, 5 years, 10 years whatever ago. How would you have felt if you saw your drawings today? You would have been so impressed! So take the time to appreciate your own work.

If there are any artists you adore, don't hesitate to try to redraw their drawings, or maybe just some aspects of their style that you love. If you do a redraw, it is advised that you do not post it as your own idea, but if the artist is ok with you posting it with credit, then you can do that too! :D

That being said, keep in mind that you don't have to post EVERYTHING you draw! I used to do that which put a lot of pressure onto me since I would get so upset whenever a drawing turned out bad, but when you realize that you can just not post it, that lifts a lot of tension.

Take care of yourselfff!!! Take care of your arm, your wrist, your back. I think there is this program that makes you take breaks every x minute which is called EyeLeo, you can install that or something similar. But please do take care of your health.

Sometimes breaks are needed. If nothing you draw looks right and you don't feel any joy in drawing, do take up another hobby for some time. Let yourself miss drawing.

Play around with styles and colors and lineweights, see what you like the best. I used to always get so upset that I didnt have a set style, my drawings vary a lot throughout each piece. But now I just keep it cool and don't think about it too much. Don't force yourself!

Also for me a part of drawing I ALWAYS look forward to when drawing canon characters is giving them alternate outfits I save on pinterest. I enjoy so much searching which outfits a character might wear. Maybe you can try this? I know drawing the same outfit over and over again for a character gets old.

Honestly being obsessed with something helps a lot with improving. Like a character or a pairing or whatever. Because you will just REALLY want to draw something for this thing you love, and you will just keep on doing and doing it. Really helpful

But 99.9% of the time, the thing you imagine will not translate completely identical to the canvas/paper. And that's OKAY! That means that you have a great imagination and you will try to get a satisfactory result. It just means more practicing. When you get an idea that you want to draw but don't feel like your skills are enough for, draw them anyway! That way you can see a lot more clearly what you need to work on. And do work on those things.

I think for reference images just find nude reference pictures of real life people. The drawing pose references we see on here or on pinterest with simple shapes ARE very convenient when you just wanna quickly draw something, but if your goal is to learn anatomy, then using a pic of an actual human is ideal.

Remember that art is supposed to be FUN. So do have fun. Experiment!!!

Also I would say like, when I was more of a beginner and tried to do fullbody drawings and such, it never looked good and I was quite discouraged but things started improving when I started to individually focus on things like eyes, noses, lips etc and then trying a more general approach with fullbodies. Might not be the same for everyone though!

I think that's all I can think about for now. Sorry if this is not that useful, but yeah! I would say the most important thing is to just practice honestly :D Go ahead, have fun, draw something! I wish you the best <3

[marciaillust]

Hey! I just wanted to say I’ve been following you forEVER now, and that your art has been inspiring me since i was a teenager. I was wondering if you could share a little about your rendering process? How did you improve it over the years, what did you learn you wish u knew sooner, stuff like that?

(Thanks anyway, and definitely getting myself ur new comic)

Hi! oh wow thank you so much for the kind words!

My rendering process hmmmm.... I will try to sum up the thoughts that come to my mind as I'm writing this, though I might be missing some proper vocabulary

The first thing that surfaced in my brain is exposition within a picture. This is what the picture focuses on - things in the light, or things in the shadow, and how much details each of these two receive rendering wise.

It's basically like taking a photo with a phone - if you click on a bright thing (say, a window), the phone will automatically adjust the exposition and all the other bright things will be visible(lotta detail), but the shadows will become turbo dark (no details). Alternatively, if you click on a dark shadow, all the dark things will become visible (details) but the hypothetical window will become blown out and turbo white (no details). You can basically have one or the other but never both. (or I guess you can who am I to tell anyone how to make art yanno no rules up in this house)

anyway, so for example, this pic^ focuses on the things in the dark, meaning everything in direct light receives no details.

and this pic^ focuses on the light and so all the cast shadows are pitch black.

One other thing that I learned a longass time ago was that edges(and shapes) are arguably the most important part of an object within a picture. Clean edges immediately call for focus, while softer or vague edges allow things to fade in the background and communicate the idea of a thing rather than showing you the thing itself. On a related note note, clean edges also make work in progress appear about 25% more finished.

I guess this all has to do with contrast and contrast can be created in many ways - edges (soft/sharp), colours (eg. red fish in a blue sea), spacing (objects being grouped vs. a single object), the amount of detail per object etc etc etc. and all of these can be controlled to solve specific issues within a picture.

In short, if a thing is important aka the focal point, make it stand out - sharp edges, details, specific colours and a lighting situation that make it pop. And if a thing isn't too important leave it vague, communicate the idea of it rather than focusing on drawing it.

On the note of things being sharp, a thing that I always swore by is, if there are eyes in the picture those eyes better be d-o-n-e. Pristine. People will look at the eyes, eyes communicate 90% of emotion, the eyes are the it girl of the picture forever and always, nobody will look at the wonky foot, they will look at the eyes and judge the quality of the picture. If the eyes are shit the picture is shit. (I'm exaggerating but fr. eyes are a big deal.). They don't have to be turbo rendered or physically mad sharp but they need to be done. Whatever that means, take what you will from my word soup.

One thing that I've become a big fan of over the years is the concept of wear and tear. This has to do with texturing things in pictures and I looooooooooooooooove thinking about ways items are used in order to create bumps and scratches that can be featured.

It always makes things look like they belong to someone?? It makes them real? Like the tip of that bone. that bone has been places. That belt has seen use. That bag carried things. Like yanno?? I looove things that chip and have nicks. Give me wood and I'll put a dent in it I swear.

And I thing the latest thing that I'm trying to incorporate within my art, though I haven't had much time or opportunity to do it in personal art because of work, is colour variation within each element.

Like his face. His skin is obviously "beige" but you will see red, and blue and yellow and green in there too. Stuff like that yanno? I'm quite interested in taking this further in my future paintings. I'm still learning how to push what, where and how but ayyy issa journey I'll happily embark on.

And of course apart from all that it's the usual jazz, working on anatomy composition perspective doing it a lot over and over again babababababa and so on and so forth.

I haven't had much opportunity to paint since I started working on the comic last year but it had it own set of challenges for me. Linework is a completely different kind of rodeo and I've improved in different departments a lot and I'd be happy to bring those things into my paintings when I have the chance. I feel like I'm at a point where I know a lot more than what I've had the opportunity to put on paper, it feels exciting!

I hope at least some of my ramblings were of interest to you!! Again, that you for the nice message and have a nice day :)

[dross-the-fish]

Started hanging out with some new friends in a Discord server on days when work from home is slow but I'm not able to leave my desk to draw or write, and I'm honestly surprised by how good of a time I've been having, how at ease I feel. This is the first friend group I've had where most of, if not all of, the people in it are queer in ways that are similar to myself, and not just cisgendered gay or bisexual people, but people who are also non-binary/genderfluid and on the aro/ace spectrum. After a lifetime of being friends with people who were mostly straight or gay and almost all of them cis except for maybe the odd binary-transperson all of whom are allosexual. It also made me realize that I've been walling myself off from most of my old high school friends for the duration of our relationship and haven't even noticed it. I always tend to sit and let little comments slide because I don't want to get into a debate or call too much attention to aspects of myself I'm still figuring out. Dealing with behaviors that were vaguely phobic and excusing them as my friends just "not knowing better," because they seemed well intended otherwise and nothing said was overt. Feeling like before I presented ace characters to them that I needed to have some justification and explanation at the ready and brace myself for people to try and tell me that "well this character can still have sex right?" or "What's the point of making x aromantic?" because they were allosexual and alloromantic and couldn't enjoy characters that weren't "available" in that way. Debates about whether asexuality should even be part of the LGBTQ spectrum weren't common, but they happened. Being made to feel like not being attracted to my partner was unfair to my partner because "everyone deserves to feel attractive to the people who love them." "A stands for Allies" is a thing that came out of one friend's mouth. "Non-binary is trans-lite," is another. "I could never love someone I wasn't attracted to, it must suck so bad to have that part of you missing." When I eventually came out as gender fluid, they seemed accepting but never bothered to use masc pronouns because I still accept fem ones. So they just felt free to ignore my gender all together and one of them even slipped and tried to correct someone who called me "sir" because it was that easy for her to forget, even with me standing right there in a chest binder and men's clothing.

There was always been an element of being ready to defend myself, of weighing my words before I spoke them and agonizing over whether I'd have to hear empty platitudes, excuses of people just "not being used to it" and an obvious, palpable discomfort that no one was willing to unlearn, that would be left for me to bear and to feel like I was at fault for creating by simply existing. And I never noticed it because it was so prevalent and it was still preferable to the blatant hostility most of the conservative population around here has for the LGBTQ community. I can talk to these people about every other thing under the sun, call them when I'm in trouble and they'll help me and turn to them for advice and support in every other area...but the little things still matter. Even when I told myself they didn't. Being around people and feeling like I can be unguarded is such a bizarre feeling that I'm almost afraid of it. Hearing one person talk about how an aromatic character I write isn't broken and wanting strongly for that character to be told that by somebody made me want to cry. Being asked if I would prefer couple art to be sfw vs nsfw because the asexuality of one character was taken into consideration actually felt like a big deal because NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THAT BEFORE. I didn't know these things mattered so much until they happened and now I feel I'm at a crossroads and debating if I should make the effort to advocate more for myself among some of my old friends. Acceptance matters, community matters. I always knew this intellectually but it's a whole different level now that I've experienced it. I've learned that it matters to me.

[tubbishtobias]

I know I’m late to this.

But here’s what I have to say.

2020.

COVID hit. I was a young girl, who was recently going through realizations of sexuality, friends etc. my friends introduced me to the dream SMP. I thought it was a little silly, then simping over these people playing Minecraft. But then I got into it. Like, super into it. Realizing there was more than just funny clips, there was actual LORE. I was so invested. I would sculpt clay of them, loving making little references of things that I like.

Going back into school post covid, I was so cringe. I thought my style was cool, and y’know, I did kind of eat. But I was happy. So happy. The friends that introduced me to it no longer liked it. They were too cool for it and kind of ditched me.

I had this community, that took a video game and made it into this super awesome story while still maintaining humor.

And they were real. It wasn’t like getting into a show, I think that’s part of the reason that I liked it so much. These creators were real, they have feelings, and lives.

They inspired me. Inspired me to keep drawing, even though the only thing I could draw was them. I loved it. Art block was no more lol

This is going to sound silly, but the dream SMP definitely helped me figure out my sexuality. Seeing other people so freely open about it made me think.

I didnt like when all of the trolls came and I was bullied relentlessly because I liked watching some people play Minecraft.

They helped me inspire my passion for steaming. Where I couldn’t imagine myself doing anything else but that. It seems so fun, to have a community that likes watching you.

Yea, all of my friends thought I was weird crying when Technoblade killed Tubbo with a firework, but I LOVED the plot. The lore. I didn’t even know what lore meant, or plot armor, or canon. Haha, I would give anything to have them back.

Technoblade especially. I didn’t know much about him before the SMP. But he is a super big part of my life and my joy. His ability to make humor, but maintain a serious atmosphere. His jokes, his PVP, he seemed like such a cool dude. Me cheering when he said that his cancer had been 99.99% percent removed.

2022.

I was going to one of the most exciting things I have ever done. A new experience, I was gonna meet new people. I was obsessed with drawing, the SMP, and HB. I was excited to meet people like me. I knew that I was trans, I wasn’t necessarily out tho.

I woke up one morning to a text from my friend. She used to like the SMP, but not really anymore. We were still friends.

She asked if I heard the news. Technoblade died.

I thought that she was joking.

Until I got another text from my friend. She’s one of my closest friends who was never really into the SMP but she knew that I liked it so she asked me about it.

I opened YouTube. Watched the video, sobbing. There was no way. You watch these people online, never having met them, only seeing what they want you to see on screen. You never know what you have until it’s gone.

My mum watched it.

She said that it was nice to see behind the scenes, seeing his dad, knowing that he’s a person. Writing RIP Technoblade we love you Alex as I went to my new experience the next day. A part of me seemed to just be broken.

Haha I’m sure this seems cringe. But like, everybody has there passions. These people inspired me. They made me who I am today, I wouldn’t be writing this if it wasn’t for them. Cancer has affected so many people in my life. It’s hard, it is. Knowing I will never get to meet Alex sucks. I mean, haha I probably wouldn’t have anyway. But him really being gone.. I don’t know. I know, people say, “he’s not really gone,” but it’s still different. He put on this attitude of wanting to power through it, making jokes. God, I miss him. I never met him, he doesn’t know me. But still, he made an impact on so many people. I know, this story has probably happened to so many people. But it feels good to tell it.

I know I’m not a super popular content creator. I May never be. But it’s nice to do this. It’s what I love to do, maybe I’ll have an impact some day.

Thank you Technoblade.

Im going to draw something for Technoblade 25, hopefully I’ll post it in a couple of days.

[katyspersonal]

Ayyyy 3 years of Bloodborneing! I am old now xD 🎉

I checked my @katyahina main, that existed many months before this blog, and.. damn, I really HAVE been into Bloodborne for 3 years! Not just that, but I've kept missing the proper day because I misremembering joining in Spring and not Winter. But.. yeah!

^ This meme was how my Bloodborne fan era technically started. It was the first thing I've posted on it, after about a month of passionate discussions with my friends who played it.. and then fishbowlcarnage, a super based Soulsborne blog that unfortunately deactivated year later, liked it and followed me instantly. I've just started to take first steps towards being "properly" online in social media after a seriously horrible and long period in my life, and having that sense of 'a cool person' giving me attention again, after all that time? Yeah, I felt like I could not pull the 'it was just a joke, I do not intend to post more Bloodborne!!' after something so significant. Look, I was very sad, and in shards from after leaving abusive relationship that were a huge part of my "isolation" from sane people. Still, I think it is funny that I might not even have stayed around in this fandom, had it not been a single person giving me a hand at the most important time. She never knew how meaningful it was for me, and never will now (genuinely hope she is fine, wherever she is..)

But afterwards I started drawing and loredigging more! This aesthetic and this type of storytelling was absolutely nothing like what I was used to, so it was very hard to whip my art into a more "serious" shape after years of round, cute and cartooney stuff. And even harder to connect so many vague hints and scattered lore scraps! I thought I was losing my mind upon discovering my first theories. Heck, I swear I learned what growing eyes on the inside felt like XD @val-of-the-north was there for me on every step on the way, he remembers me screaming at how bad it hurt my brain and how I was losing sanity dsfhjdfs In the end, my brain did get completely rewired in terms of media analysis and how I create things. I think I will never be the same. Admittedly, I am so, so, SO thankful to my former self for discovering all theories on my own, instead of instantly socialising and taking hot takes, theories and designs in the fandom as a reference. Talking with other fans significantly improved my interpretations and theories, but the best way to go is to first have your own version, so it can be refined upon interactions. Rather than just letting what's already there decide for you, you feel?

Granted, it's been painful 3 years for at least 5 significant reasons, and time flew really fast. Sometimes I regret having joined the fandom instead of being the 'unreachable' fan (the one that just posts theories and fanart without ever actually interacting with other fans). Watching the best, the most level-headed and interesting fandom in my life rot into a clown mess of 'cool kids' cliques, hierarchies and division, discourse, passive aggression, toxicity, gospel headcanons, snobbish treatment of any fan that didn't grab a beer with an "influencer" at the Discord and resentment towards fans who are actually passionate was PAIN. I hoped this kind of rot that kills every other small fandom could never touch US, but alas.

On the other hand, accepting that all good things should rot one day is important part of any engagement. Resisting what's natural end only makes things worse. ...that sounded like a very Soulsborne-moment. Besides, all pain (personal one or 'on behalf of my community' one) was worth the knowledge and insights on nature of people I've gotten! I understand so much more, it is only fair that the price was so heavy. ....and that also sounded like a very Soulsborne-moment. And at the same time, while I was raving like a grumpy old man about "better simpler times", even older fans came towards me to admit that actually this is not a novelty but just a more annoying form of it, and the community knew at least two previous 'cycles' of rising and then rotting like this. So in the end it doesn't matter, and some day things will improve again, only to get ruined again. ..... *sighs* and is not it a fucking Soulsborne-moment yet AGAIN.

I am still glad that I was able to find the interest in these awesome stories, and that I've found such good friends. I think in the end, the biggest reason why these games have such unreal grip on me is that they understand me like no other piece of media did. With all previous things I've been into, I was the one trying to understand them, but here, ironically considering my lore essays, it is understanding me. The despair, the endless existential crisis, the traumas, the doubts, the struggle to remember what's the reason to even live and hope is, observations on society I've had on instinctive level despite intellectual disabilities but could never articulate... the nightmares, too. But this is even better that I've found people who can understand me through how I understand it. I can't go back to how I used to socialise before the nightmare everything has been spiralling as for several years, the trust issues run far too deep and control me far too much, but I feel as alive as someone in my position could be here. And this matters.

[temper-temper]

It’s Me Birthday

I was going to draw a cute lil picture but due to a lil bit of art burnout I wasn’t able to- so instead I’m gonna write a bit of an update of my life by looking back at the past year since my last birthday.

Last year at this time I was working a job that made me miserable and wondering what I was doing with my life. It was a few months after meeting Flash, Flux, and Guru (Dawn and Doe too!) and I had just gotten back into military history- something I felt for a long time was wrong and bad for me to be into. I ended up quitting that job and starting a job that is my favorite to this day (though sadly I moved and couldn’t keep the job) and getting closer to a lot of people I’ve met through this community.

The people I’ve met here- like Silver, Doe, Daw, Flash, Ally, Flux, Guru, Summer, Aw0, Captain Molasses, Saryn ( and Fly Guy through him), Sugar, TechBro, Dainty, Paint, Dark, and so so many more- helped me so much in being comfortable and confident in who I am. They have been a constant supportive force in my life since I’ve opened myself up to them here and helped me through one of the hardest transitioning periods in my life.

In this time I’ve moved states, starting a new job, started a new Church, started a new relationship, and started being unapologetically me and I have my amazing friends to thank for helping me get to this point!

I also need to sing raises to God because where I was just s year ago was a place that looking back on it I really wasn’t happy- I didn’t know it myself but He did. I was around people who put me down (mostly those old jobs) and made me feel I wasn’t good enough and an idiot and now I’m around people who love and value me! Only God could of so perfectly brought me from where I was to where I am now.

I gotta give special thanks to a few key players in helping me out over these last few months and if you aren’t in the list don’t think that doesn’t mean I don’t value you! I think I means we need to chat more! Seriously, feel free to dm me! :3

Doe: Honey- thank you. You were the first I came to when I realized what I did and you were so patient with me, you gave me a distraction and an ear to listen while I was figuring life out. You never said “oh do this” or “do that” just listened and held me to my decision. You even gave me the kick to tell Guru how I felt!

Flux: You stayed up with me in late night calls- helping me process everything when my world was falling a part. You helped me understand my feelings and realize that feeling my feelings was okay. You’ve been the big brother I always wanted and it was so nice to bound with you while we courted out S/Os. I’m grateful for you being there when I was so scared.

Ally: You ALSO helped me understand my feelings and understand that it’s okay to feel my feelings. You sat with me while I toiled with anger and sadness; and you vented back to me your own. You have been steadfast in your support and love for me and I’m grateful to have a friend like that- you also have been nothing but supportive of me and Guru and always know what to say when I need it. Yeah misses “you are cute,” I see you

Flash: Fella you started it all! You brought me to these friendships. Your a quite strong wall of support for us and I just hope I can be one back to you. You remind me repeatedly “is this under God?” And it’s great to have a friend like that. Your a great artist and I’m glad to have you as a friend- we gotta do more with Fell and Celeste!

SilverWing: Honey get OVER HERE! You’ve been so supportive and kind to me in your feral way and I love it. It’s so nice having someone in my life who wants to pop off about the interests I thought for YEARS I wasn’t allowed to have. We don’t talk as much as I do some others on this list but we don’t have to either. Just vibes all the time 😎

Dawn: We don’t talk that much but I can always trust you. No doubt you are my friend and that being around you is always a blast. Your art is amazing and I do hope we can grow closer- but we really don’t need to, it’s just vibes all the time and I’m grateful for you.

Dainty: Girly we may not be extremely close or whatever but ASSDSDSD YOU ASADSF!! Always supportive and kind to me, always saying nice stuff about me!! You are really awesome thanks for bring my friend!

Dark: Dark, you know well by now I call you my dad. You have been in my life since I was 16 and have supported me though so much- you watched me grow up and grow into my own and I do hope I made you proud. When you saw all that stuff happening with me you stepped up to help me in your amazing Dark way and I’m so grateful for it and you. I just wish I knew how to return the favor. Please don’t undervalue yourself of your art- you are a huge inspiration to me and I don’t want you to leave my life. I trust you.

Guru: Well honey it’s your turn now. I’ve been writing this for the 30 min.

You have had such a healthy and happy impact on my life. You support me and love me just the way I am! You are an amazing and godly man that I can say wholeheartedly I love. You were part of why I got back into the military and you’ve been so crazy supportive in that time I really needed it. I’m so glad we grew closer and you ended up catching feelings for me like I did you. Having a great Christian man by my side is nothing short of amazing and the fact that on top of it all you are handsome, outgoing, well rounded, bubbly/friendly, understanding, and patients. You are the whole package as they say.

I love you hun and don’t you forget it

but honestly I love everyone I mentioned- thank you guys (and so many more) for being in my life ❤️

[cleverthylacine]

Okay. Wow. (also feel free to circulate this post to people even if they don't like me)

I didn't want to make a post like this but things have gone too far. I am still not mentioning names. If you know you know, if you don't know, ignore this post and be happy that you don't know.

Yesterday I went on a blitz of blocking people I was told had been sharing my private DMs and talking shit about me behind my back with an artist who is freaked out that I told them I wouldn't take down a reblog, and then explained that they are popular with RavWave shippers, and that I didn't know who they were until other shippers sent me their stuff, because their art does look shippy to us.

It seems that a lot of the people who are really mad about this (and you're welcome to share this one post of mine with those people, though I do not appreciate that their friends have been stalking my blog in general) think that I was trying to ARGUE with that person.

Much as their motivation in drawing the art was not to depict my OTP, my motivation in telling them that they accidentally did was not to argue with them about how they should view the relationship. It was information about why people get what is apparently the wrong idea about their art.

If I were writing or drawing something that was being misinterpreted all over creation, I would want to know why.

Then I would be armed with the knowledge to decide whether or not I wanted to do things differently in the future.

"I don't care what those people think" is a valid decision. So is "hmm, maybe she has a point." Whichever decision I made, I'd want to make it as an informed decision.

I feel a little sorry about this giant misunderstanding, but I'm absolutely disinclined to apologise because:

Their first message to me was insulting. Many people believe that it was a "polite request". But polite words can be used in a thoroughly rude and nasty way. There is no nice way to tell someone that you think they're so nasty you don't want your public posts appearing on their blog.

Saying no to requests is a thing that people are allowed to do.

Their second message to me, which evaded my block because it was sent to another account, was blatantly offensive and went into the quality of my family and relationships. I didn't respond to that because I'd have gone off.

They have their friends stalking my blog and have admitted to doing so, and have responded to venting on my part by vagueblogging in my own blogs by telling everyone that they're the person I am annoyed with and here are the receipts. Seriously, wtf?

I only know this because I'm trying to block all the assholes who are reposting my personal conversations with them, a thing i only know because a friend of mine told me so after receiving a demand they unfriend me.

This person and their friends are sending anon asks to my friends, or in one case, publicly demanding in an RP community, that people who want to interact with them unfollow me, because they will not interact with anyone who interacts with me. Go the fuck back to high school, Regina.

Don't put icing and sprinkles on a pile of shit and tell yourself you gave someone a chocolate cake. This person has never been "nice" to me.

Under the cut: why IDW Ravage would never allow herself to be handled like a pet cat, and why RavWave shippers feel the same way about the Earthspark deleted scenes, even though we know that's probably not what the showrunners meant us to think.

I have come to the conclusion that's it's just another case of antis thinking that if you can see two people in a non-platonic relationship that they think of as family, you're just nasty. Especially if the feline shaped character is being handled like a pet cat.

But the person who said "I look disrespectfully on anyone who ships this, that's just a goof and his cat" has missed the entire point of these characters' relationship. Soundwave would never treat or handle Ravage like she was a pet cat.

Anyone else who says RavWave shippers are nasty because "it's NoRMaL to handle your cat that way" is fundamentally not getting who Ravage is and how she feels about being touched.

Ravage is a sapient adult mech with a full range of sapient adult feelings, and touching her like she's an animal is a microaggression or a macroaggression, depending upon where and how you touch her. The oppression of beastformers is a big fucking thing in IDW 2005. Other beastformers also complain about constantly having to deal with unwanted and disrespectful touching. (Fortress Maximus is a known offender.)

IDW Ravage is sleeping in Megatron's bed throughout MTMTE (when she's under it, she's guarding him). She only allows him to touch her neck in front of others...because behaving like a pet cat increases the chances that people will treat her like one.

(She almost cut Nautica several times. That's another character I ship her with, because what would be funnier than her realising that this actually is a whole ass person and if she can't stop touching her, she might actually be attracted to her?)

(Note: Canonically, Ravage in IDW uses he/him, and I do know that. However, about half the fandom writes Ravage as female. I'm in that half.)

BTW, I feel exactly the same way about the Earthspark deleted scenes. Every RavWave shipper on the planet does. We've talked about it. We realise that the artists and showrunners probably intended it to be innocent on the grounds that she is a cat. But we are also people who like to write her as an adult Decepticon officer with agency and self-respect who wouldn't behave like that in front of other people unless they knew he has privileges they don't.

I am aware that half the fandom draws Ravage art that's basically cat memes. (I hate that so much. But as a proshipper, I recognise people have the right to depict characters any way they want. That doesn't mean I haven't had to vent to people like @bitegore and @miner16 to keep myself from saying something.)

Also, I strongly suggest that people who get this worked up about misinterpretations of their art or writing do not become professional creators. As a member of fandom since the 1970s, I'm kind of super extremely aware that most of what fandom does is counter to what the creator intended, and frequently that's the point.

I'm also kind of super extremely aware that if you don't have loads of people reinterpreting and remixing your work and your characters, that actually means nobody cares about your work enough to have blorbo feels about your characters.

(The side poll, which came from another blog and mentioned no names, was an irritated attempt to find out whether people really do think it's normal to cuddle your mom that way, because the second message insinuated that my mother and I must have a terrible relationship because we don't touch each other like that. I kinda wanted to know what people who were not predisposed to take my side and did not know what was going on would think of that idea, because I really do not think most people touch their mothers like that; their mothers aren't nonsapient animals and would thus consider it weird and inappropriate.)

[clever-fox-studios]

Art Lessons

I'm just dropping this here because the idea keeps floating in my head about revisiting something I did back in the SAMS server (yes, hi, I was there, some of you probably know me from art chat) that I really enjoyed and I've been considering trying again to provide accessible resources to young or under-skilled artists.

So, back in the day (early 2023) when I was there (SAMS), I held a couple of streams where I tried to explain anatomy and breaking down bodies into shapes and how those lessons overlapped into other subjects like non-humans. I felt there was a moderate success, as I am and always have been, self-taught and thus I don't have the formal knowledge that comes from university classes (though I would like some one day); having been online enough I've seen the biases in the art community with the agism and such where older people who "missed" the window of opportunity are often pushed aside because they're expected to "know" by now how to Do The Thing when they weren't given the same opportunities then.

I've also seen how most how-to books, videos and classes, in many countries, seem to lack general fundamentals as part of their criteria; the number of 'students' who professed that their teachers or the instructor seemed to assume they had a basic idea of how to draw already before starting class was... staggering to say the least.

"I didn't know what [this] meant, I was just told to do it."

"We were never taught how to break this down, we just had to copy [this]."

Etc.

Nevermind the style biases; I despise the "Anime isn't art" arguments and how they try to force a style onto the learners as if they're superior for being 'traditional' or 'realistic'. I'm a person who does push for the fundamentals because they can be applied to all styles in some way; learn the rules to then break the rules and all that. Technical skill is not the same as style, in my book.

So, that being said, I would really love to revisit those streams one day soon, if the interest is still there. I'm planning to open a discord server for it where I can host the small-scale streams until I get a platform open for larger audiences; I'm thinking Twitch, but my set up isn't really good for that, and I need a certain amount of watch time/followers on Tiktok and Youtube (for some stupid reason) so while I figure that out, discord is better than nothing. VODs could be made or uploaded to Youtube later for review until I make proper edited stuff, but that's much later.

I just really miss offering help because art should be accessible and no one should feel isolated in the "you should know by now" bubble simply because their living situation or environment didn't afford them the time or resources to sit and draw all day, every day and teach themselves where classes failed or assumed they knew what they were dong already. Also, that live feedback can help a lot and allow others to run at their own pace instead of getting steamrolled by the 'natural talent' as I can repeat or revisit something and answer questions in real-time (as much as I'm able).

So if that's something that seems fun or interesting, I'd leave it open to any age (behave yourselves) to come learn; if I get enough interest I'll start making the discord and think of a schedule plan, but for now it's an idea!

Thank you for dropping by!

[thediktatortot]

Love youre ST art, but if you dont mind me asking, why Billy? Theres just so much about his character I cant get passed enough to like him outside of peoples art.

I appreciate the cordial ask Anon, as most who do not like Billy would not do so: I love Billy for many reasons! Sorry, this is gonna be a fairly long response because I want to encapsulate not only my own points of enjoyment, but ones that a majority of the Billy side of fandom have as well.

First reason being: Billy is WONDERFULLY acted out by his actor. Dacre Montgomery did what is probably one of the top handful of performances on the show (probably rivalling the way I feel about Mason Dye's [Jason Carver] performance.) and that alone gives me some of the first reasons to love Billy as a character.

He's well done. He feels real, he gives depth and complications like real humans! That in part due to Dacre's representation of him. Dacre himself has put a lot of his own experiences into Billy's character, both in just the small things we notice and some of the larger aspects like having dealt with abuse in the home regarding his father as well as neurodivergencies and weight.

I'm a sucker for a well made character!

Second reason!: He's a bombshell, and not in just a 'hot' way. His character draws attention, he wants to be seen and noticed and heard! He's not great at going about it in a way that doesn't cause himself problems because...well he's still a child!

He's bound to mess up, especially in a time that does not see children as vulnerable members of a community, in a new culture (midwest) that he is unfamiliar with and unaccustomed to their social norms as well as being under the rules and obligations of a man who not only keeps him vulnerable but actively undermines him both mentally, physically and emotionally.

I empathize with and for him. I myself have never been abused by a parent, but I know what abuse feels like and it doesn't feel good. I have experience with sibling and spousal abuse, but even then it's not the same as being abused by your support structure, the person(s) who are supposed to be there to love and nurture you.

He has lost one of his major support structures in his life and is damaged for it.

But back to the bombshell title: He fits some of my favorite character tropes, Femme fatale & Antihero.

He's MADE to be destructive, he's an abused bull placed into a china shop by his own father and if that isn't sad, I don't know what it. No matter what he does, he cannot help but break something! His narrative was constructed by the show to always put him in a position of destruction and it's such a sad existence.

My third reason: He's an AMAZING foil to Steve as a character. He's everything Steve both wants and hates. He's 'carefree' and interruptive, he's hot and nasty, he's strong but has a hairtrigger-

He challenges Steve as a character to both think and do better in ways he doesn't realize yet.

These are all just basic reasons why I love him as a character. The fandom as a whole could lead you down a bigger path as to why, but there's a lot to love in Billy.

I can completely understand why someone might not like him, he is brash, rude, destructive, mean- and it can be hard to work around those issues when those things are actually damaging in real life.

But I see him as an opportunity to delve deeper into the "why". Why is Billy brash? Why is Billy rude? Why is he destructive and mean? That's the meat and potatoes.

In the end, I love Billy because he's a character who turned out the way he did, because he lacked the appropriate amount of love in his life, and we can see that by his actions and memories before his death.

He craved touch. He craved closeness and friends. He missed his mother, he feared his father. He had EMOTIONS that deserve to be expressed and heard.

He's what so many people can become, because no one takes the time to just give a shit. That's why I love him. Because I think he, in the real world, would have benefited from that. Just to be seen and heard and understood, even if no one could fix his situation, at least he would have the ability to have a safe place to confide in long enough to get himself out of his situation.

[subconsciousmysteries]

enneagram is a game, don't overdose, DSM musings

Have a very knowledgeable friend who's sick of enneagram, not the legit spiritualist version of it a la Almaas and before him, but the version where people go around trying to "accurately type" "correctly type" everyone else, including themselves.

she says it's just a social power game and she's literally right. I've never seen any enneagram discourse end constructively. even i've been guilty of misusing enneagram, because there's no natural progression to discussing "my type" "that person's type", other than forcing either others or yourself (or both) to identify with the ego fixations that we're supposed to be transcending.

at best enneagram is something to be picked up occasionally and then rapidly put down and forgotten about for a long while so that you can experience life without the filter of enneagram getting in the way. you can draw profound new insights from personality theories for a very brief window in time before you start overdosing on them and distorting your reality with them. it's like acid / LSD. it's a once-every-few-months drug (at most) and that's assuming you have an eventful life with lots of novelty.

(this goes for any personality framework btw. MBTI, IV, Big Five, DSM personality disorders, are all included)

coz when you try to process life through the framework of personality theories, you start to see everything through the lens of your own confirmation bias very quickly. this confirmation bias leads you to miss essential parts of other people's personalities, which interferes with your ability to form meaningful bonds and connections, on top of causing other problems. and this isn't a skill issue. there is no way around this problem of personality theory distorting reality if you use it too much, because personality theory is subjective by nature. there are no clear scientific metrics to tell you that your observations about other people's personalities are wrong and you need to rethink your approach. Most who try to create these scientific metrics just end up becoming dictators, imposing their personal interpretation of how humans work and who everyone else secretly is onto others, with no objective basis.

the problem I'm describing doesn't just describe enneatards online. it plagues the entire field of psychology which is heavily dependent on personality theories. this is where the endless debate about "is psychology a science or an art?" comes from. as I've talked about before, the DSM is little different to an abstract, interpretive personality type theory. there are no objective metrics (i.e. a brain scan) to confidently tell if someone has a DSM personality disorder. diagnosis is 100% based on observations and reports of your behavior and personality, and how this picture of you fits into boxes arbitrarily defined by some other person. just like personality typing is.

despite its myriad of issues I have to praise the DSM for one thing: at least it has the courage to call a disorder a disorder. It admits that good and bad exist. that there is a hierarchy of morality. unlike personality theories which too often try to pass off dysfunctional traits as "just another type" "just another part of the human experience that we have to accept and cater to uwu" "all personality types are equal".

but you have a lot of people in the psychiatric community who are dangerously changing the way we view disorders. they want to turn personality disorders from rightfully looked-down-upon spiritual ailments, to normalized "disabilities" that deserve to be catered to. they've turned psychiatry into just as much of a moral relativist, narcissist-enabling clusterfuck as online personality discourse is. the type of people who say, "uwu Cluster Bs are valid it's just a different way of being it's not wrong it's not a disorder". "uwu delusions that people were born in the wrong body need to be coddled and enabled" are leading this change.

[grelleswife]

Hi! I wanted to ask your opinion on why you enjoy Kuroshitsuji if it isn’t too much to answer. Recently I have been feeling like I’m being ‘punished’ for enjoying Kuro because I always see people talking bad about it and Yana on twitter. 😅 I am well aware Kuro has a lot of issues but I really enjoy the characters and such but the opinions of people about the series kind of has been hurting me as a fan and thus I have been losing interest🥲 I was hoping I can talk to someone who is a fan of Kuro that can help give me some mindset or something. I have been drawing for Kuro for years so I’m quite passionate towards the series and Yana herself and but this has been bugging me. If you can’t answer this it is totally okay and you can delete this ask❣️

Hi, anon! That’s not too much at all! My apologies for the late response; I wanted to make sure I could sit down to properly get my thoughts in order before answering.

My love for Kuro was originally (and is to this day) rooted in the source material. The manga and anime introduced me to some of my most beloved fictional characters, including Miss Grelle—as attested to by my url! 😉 The story instantly had me hooked with its campy hijinks, tragic undertones, and forays into the dark corners of the human psyche. Even with the current lag in pacing, I’m excited to see where the Phantomfam’s adventures take us next! And, of course, I would be remiss without mentioning the artwork. In a visual medium like manga, aesthetics can make or break your enjoyment of a series, and Kuro’s Victorian steampunk flair is perfectly suited to my tastes, especially with the steady improvement in quality as Yana’s honed her craft over the years.

However, particularly during this dry season of short chapters and plodding plot progression, it’s the community that grew up around Kuro that nourishes my love for it the most. Naysayers condescendingly sneer that the fandom is dead, but the incredible art, funny memes, awesome animations, excellent fics (some of which outshine published novels I’ve read), insightful meta and more that I see across my dash and in the tags suggest otherwise. And when we come together (such as during past fandom weeks or @anewp0tat0 ‘s recent event to celebrate the 200th chapter) that display of talent burns even brighter. As a writer, building up lore in headcanons and fic or reading my mutual’s creative interpretations of Yana’s world is just as fun—if not more so—than engaging with the actual manga. That enrichment alone is enough to keep me invested in the Kuroverse for the foreseeable future.

The series also holds considerable sentimental value for me because it served as the catalyst for my queer awakening and brought friends and loved ones into my life who I would never have met otherwise. Even if the day comes when I put Kuroshitsuji on the shelf in favor of other stories, that positive impact will remain.

However, that doesn’t mean that the series or fandom are perfect. Yana’s sleazy past and irresponsible pandering to the gross side of the fandom are an unpleasant reality with which we must contend, as are the fujoshis, transphobes, and other creeps—some of whom proved to be a genuine danger to minors—who continue to give us a bad name. But those people who blindly label Kuro as wholesale trash and accuse all fans of condoning the problematic content merely betray their simplistic, black-and-white way of thinking. We cannot and should not sweep the objectionable aspects of the series under the rug, but we can interact with Kuro critically—recognizing and calling out the areas in need of improvement while also cherishing the best parts of this cursed butler manga. As long as you’re consuming media responsibly, and in a way that doesn’t actively harm others, then you have no reason to feel guilty. You sure as heck don’t deserve to be punished!

Ignore the haters as best you can, and try to focus on what first ignited your passion for Kuro; don’t let those jerks steal your joy. 😤 Alternatively, if you need to take a break from that onslaught of negativity and just rest for a bit, that’s fine, too! There’s no shame in stepping away to recharge, and you shouldn’t push yourself to participate in fandom if doing so is detrimental to your well-being.

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been having a tough time over on the bird app, but I hope my answer was helpful and that Kurohell can continue to be a happy, welcoming place for you! 🖤

[thdrama2]

The art games threads are so dead and it makes me sad. Just about every thread has been dead for days being bumped by who I usually assume is the poster who killed it (more often than not in my experience: forum regulars). And I'm not picky about who I make art for, which is why I enjoyed that specific part of the forums so much (I don't always factor in skill or design competency, if someone has a design I think is at least semi-neat, I'm gonna draw it). But it looks like everyone is passing each other up all the time :( the plot has been lost I fear.

And nobody on TH does things in a timely manner. After being ghosted on a comm (after paying, mind you. And the payment service is totally alien to me, so I can't even think of working out a refund, plus it was like several months ago, etc.) and never getting a ridiculous amount of forum claims and add-on art (also for designs I've paid for), I realize I can't really just trust Toyhouse users with my money unless it's for an adopt because it's a very simple transaction.

Unfortunately, leaving is not much of an option for me since it's where I have even the slightest audience and biggest connection to the art community. Love the site and all, just wanted to air my number of grievances.

When one joins an art game for the sole reason of getting "free" art rather than playing a mutually beneficial game then one misses the point of the game and may make selfish decisions.