#I'm not trying to say that there is anything messed up about them and I'm sorry if it comes off that way. I just get frustrated about where

[baphometsss]

I don't wanna sit here and act like I'm a professional or anything, because I'm not, but as someone who has had to do a lot of work to overcome trauma and reconfigure my brain more or less from the ground up, there's a lot I have to say about Solas's mental state

We know that Solas was essentially used and abused by Mythal for millennia. Even if he wasn't under a geas, he was twisted from his purpose by being made to fight, and then created the Wolf's Fang which was used to make the Titans tranquil and started the Blights. He made those choices himself, but it's important to understand that no choice is ever made in a vacuum. She took advantage of his vulnerability when he was given a body after however long as a spirit semi-existing peacefully in the Fade, and moulded him into a weapon.

He is broken, because Mythal broke him. I'm not incapable of seeing why she did what she did because like I said, no one makes choices in a vacuum and I could write about her for a long time too (in a similar way to how I have had to do myself in my own life in understanding why others abused me). He was so traumatised by everything that happened and he was trauma bonded to Mythal pretty much from the minute he gained a body. Trauma bonds are not about love. He definitely interpreted it that way, as most people do, but that's the weapon abusers use to keep the victim under their control. Abuse abuse abuse show a scrap of love and then abuse some more. If I just take it, I'll get the love/attention I need. I will earn it, because love is suffering, and I have to suffer to earn getting my basic needs met from my family/friends. Mythal, as his creator, was the one who he would've attached to in a similar way to spirit Cole/human Cole.

Trauma bonds are pathological. Mythal made him believe that if he did as she asked, and kept supporting her, then eventually he would gain her favour and they would be able to free all the elves, and he'd be able to live according to his true nature, which is one where he doesn't have to fight. (Remember his personal quest in DAI? He actually kills the rebel mages for corrupting his friend--another Wisdom spirit--into Pride.) In reality, she was just using him. She always kept the bone just out of reach for her lapdog. The line from Rook where they say (paraphrasing here) 'you know, I was actually excited about getting your approval... That's how you do it, isn't it? Keeping giving little scraps of approval to keep someone loyal, and then you turn around and betray them' is so telling too.

Where--or from whom--do you think he learned to do this?

It literally reeks of a pathological trauma bond and honestly, with how isolated, 'grim and fatalistic' Solas is, it is not a surprise that he's so broken.

Solas, essentially, is little more than a lap-dog to Mythal. He followed her like a lost puppy, because especially in his early days, that's kind of what he was. You have to remember that most of the insight we get about Mythal is from Solas's perspective, and he is not a reliable person when it comes to her after so long being repeatedly terrorised and twisted and manipulated. There are several instances where he describes being betrayed by her, and mentions some of the things she did, but he never quite holds her fully accountable and ends up directing his rage elsewhere. (The parallel between Mythal/Solas and the rebel mages/Wisdom is important here.)

This awesome post by @mythalism only reinforces this. He is so messed up in that scene, he is broken, he is holding the Wolf's Fang up, trying to give it to her because it symbolises the burden he has carried for thousands of years trying to avenge her death. He never wanted the Fang, like he never wanted a body. Mythal just stands over him, fully aware of what she did to him, and only getting him to stop because Rook petitioned her successfully, and the reunion with the more benevolent Mythal within Morrigan tempered her anger. She was a goddess, with the unequal power dynamic, right to the end.

As a side note, on the potential romance element between Mythal and Solas, I read an excellent breakdown of it on Reddit a while ago about how out of character it would've been for Solas to keep something like that from a romanced Lavellan, especially in Trespasser when he comes clean about his plan/past. I can't find it now because it was pre-Veilguard release, but it made a lot of sense to me. Solas and Lavellan never have a love scene in DAI because Solas didn't want to 'lay with them under false pretences'. Lying about who you are when sleeping with someone is nonconsensual. You can't consent to sleeping with someone if you don't know their true identity, and someone who knowingly lies about who they are to get into your pants is a sexual predator. For someone who led a slave rebellion (no doubt many of them being sex slaves), and a former spirit of Wisdom, Solas would've been well aware of this. In the unsent letter from Solas to Lavellan he says he came so close to breaking and desperately wanted to stay with them as Solas, with the implication being that that is where he planned to sleep with them once he'd come clean. But because he stops, because he's still unable to forgive himself or release himself from his trauma bond with Mythal, he breaks away, and they never have sex.

Bottom line: Solas would've been honest about it. Especially that. As the Inquisitor says, he can't lie about his heart.

And it's why the Solas/Lavellan romance is so powerful because quote, 'you change everything'. Solas thought he knew what love was, that love was loyalty, devotion, worship, etc. It's not just his plans or worldview that Lavellan changes. Lavellan sees him for who he is, without the mantle of Dread Wolf, and because of that he's able to express his true nature to her, even if he's not being totally honest in Inquisition. Lavellan got much closer to the real him than most, as he says, and changed his understanding of love completely. Unfortunately, he has unfinished business, an unresolved trauma bond, and his crushing sense of duty to the past is what keeps him from taking that final step towards letting go of it entirely. Trick also says Solas doesn't think he deserves love, which tbh is kind of a hallmark trait of people who have survived abuse.

And honestly? Call me a simp but I think he really was trying to get the Inquisitor to stop him. He saw himself being unable to let go because he was so broken and burdened by his guilt, and knew he couldn't save himself--was too proud to admit that he couldn't, because how pathetic does it make him look? And how could he stop now without rendering all the damage he'd wrought pointless? Yet here was someone who had changed him right down to his core, who understood him in a way few people ever had, whom he trusted, whom he loved in a way he hadn't loved anyone else before. It took him 'centuries' to build up rapport with the members of his rebellion. The man doesn't not know how to form attachments without trauma, and suddenly he forms a strong one with someone who loves him completely and without condition. It's a jarring change.

Lavellan says that maybe they're being prideful themselves, refusing to see their own folly. But I think in admitting that they might be wrong, that it might be wishful thinking borne from misguided love to a truly terrible person, they've rendered the point moot. It shows self-awareness, which isn't folly.

If anyone can make Solas understand true love, it's Lavellan. Lavellan loved him when he was being his true self. Lavellan loved him after his betrayal was revealed. Lavellan loved him when his guilty conscience and terrible actions almost destroyed the world. Lavellan loved him because they knew the real him, and knew that his heart and spirit were broken, and knew that their love would endure, that their love would heal him.

And that's exactly where they end up. Healing the past, soothing the Blight, and loving one another completely.

[kimuzostar]

YOU CAN'T HIDE ii

⊱ bountyhunter!terry x black fem reader ⊰ ⊱ warnings: 18+, smut, degradation kink, pregnancy scare, mention of clinic visit, slight choking, stalking aspects, slight dom!terry and more i forgot ⊰ ⊱ probably the last part for this, i don't know... writing smut scares me because i'm bad at it ⊰ enjoy

A few weeks have passed of you being on the run. The media coverage of the robbery had died down; yet you were still on edge. 

Not about the robbery but about him.

“When I catch you again, I won’t be as nice.”

 His words replayed over and over in your head. You felt them deep in your stomach, just like his di-

No, no, no. You will not allow a man to be the proprietor of your downfall. 

After he left, you gathered your things and immediately headed for the nearest bus station. You brought a ticket to Arondale, another small town about four hours away. You needed to put distance between the two of you. 

As you boarded the bus, you had an eerie feeling of being watched. You turn and see a truck. His truck. 

Its lights cut on and it rapidly sped off in the opposite direction. 

You let out a sigh of relief. 

Now you could live in peace….. or so you thought. 

You were currently bent over the toilet of your dingy motel room. The entire contents of your stomach emptied out before you. 

For the last 5 or so days, you’ve been unable to hold down any food, certain smells cause you to gag, and you’ve been over emotional about every little thing. 

The tenant next door was not being of any help as he didn’t seem to know how to lower his volume. Constantly playing loud music and talking loudly. Every time you went to complain, he would get quiet and not answer his door. 

The one time you did see him, his back was turned to you as he got in his car. You wish you would’ve saw his face so you could flip it off. 

You were trying not to think the worst, brushing it off to a persistent stomach bug. But your period was late and that wasn’t making anything more comforting. 

“There’s no fucking way!”, you whisper to yourself. 

There’s no way you could possibly be pregnant by a man you don’t even know. A man whose face you’ve never even seen. You didn’t need any of this right now. 

Gathering yourself, you pull up to look in the mirror. Your curly hair wild, eyes shadowed with bags and your plump lips were chapped. You were a mess. 

You needed a pregnancy test. There was a small market across the street. You gathered your jacket and headed out. 

-

The market was stocked; having every essential one might need. 

You grabbed a buggy. You were going to get everything you needed so if you get the worst, you wouldn’t have to come out for a while. 

As you turn down one of the aisles, you bump into someone. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you,” you say. 

Looking up, you see it’s your loud next door tenant. He’s wearing shades with the biggest shit eating grin on his face. A perfect set of 32s. 

“That’s no bother, just don’t do it again,” he replies. 

Already aggravated, you didn’t have the energy to play into his games. You continue along the aisle, paying him no more attention. 

Scanning the items, you finally find what you’re looking for; a clear blue pregnancy test. You grab it, biting your lower lip out of nervousness. 

Taking a step backwards, you run into what feels like a brick wall. A pair of arms surround you, the hands covering yours over the test. They lift them so the owner can take a closer look. 

“A pregnancy test. Who dis fa?”, the person says. 

You push back, turning to see who it is. 

It’s the tenant again. 

“Don’t fucking touch me and it’s none of your fucking business.”

He laughs, taking off his shades to get a better look at you. 

“I think it’s a lot of my business considering I could be a daddy.”  

Fuck, those eyes. 

It was him. The bounty hunter. 

Terry stood before you, smiling so big that his eyes disappeared. His hair was cut low, his skin bronzed by the sun. 

He was beautiful. 

You were frozen, unable to properly process what was going on. You wanted to run but your body wouldn’t move. You have many questions but your mouth wouldn’t move. 

“You look surprised. What’s wrong?”, he says jokingly. 

You finally get the push to speak. 

“You’re not the only person I’ve been with so you’re probably not the father”, you lie. 

Terry raises one of his eyebrows. “Is that so?”, he says. 

“Yes, so you can go away now”, you reply. 

“Nah, I’m curious about the results. Let's get back to your room”, he says walking towards the registers.

Your shoulders sunk. There was no way of this. 

-

Terry watched every step of you take your test; standing in the bathroom doorway like a bouncer. 

You avoided eye contact, feeling vulnerable about the current situation. 

“What does it say?”, he asks. 

“I don’t know, the instructions say there’s a 20 minute wait,” you reply. 

He sighs, looking up at the ceiling in thought. 

“What should we name it? I’m thinking Junior for a boy and Jasmi for a girl”, he says, smiling. 

You scoff. 

“You have lost your black ass mind if you think I’m having a baby with you. Plus, you don’t even know if this is your baby. The only thing I’m worried about is what clinic I need to go to”, you say. 

You peek at him through your lashes. He stood arms crossed, no longer smiling. You could cut the tension with a knife. 

“I’ve been watching you for weeks. There is no other man”, he says. 

“How did you find me? I left Springville weeks ago, it should’ve been impossible for you to find me here.”

Terry smiles, a laugh erupting deep from within his chest. 

“I never stopped following you, you’re just too fucking stupid to realize it. I followed your bus all the way here. I’ve been staying next door the whole time.”, he chuckles. 

You stood there dumbfounded. The clogs in your brain jammed and you were unable to produce a coherent thought. 

The loud music, the loud talking, the man entering the car. All him. 

“Are you actually insane? Do you not hear how ridiculous you sound? What’s not clicking?”, you say. 

Terry’s brows furrowed in genuine confusion. 

“Why are you so mad? I never told you I was going to leave you alone. I said when I catch you, not if I catch. You’re my problem until I feel you’re sorted out,” he says. “You were warned yet you still can’t hide.”

He stepped towards you. You step back and he follows you until you hit the wall. He leans down, his lips brushing your ear. You shiver at the contact. 

“Do I scare you?”, he asks, tracing a circle on your hip. 

Feigning dominance, you respond, “No, I’m not scared of you.”

You were definitely afraid of him. 

“I’m not afraid of a bubbling moron that goes around stalking people, unable to act like an adult,” you continue. 

You see Terry’s shoulders shake with a silent laugh. He pulls back, trailing the hand on your hip up to your neck. He wraps it around, squeezing slightly. You can feel your nipples harden through your shirt. 

”As long as you’re here, I won’t ever leave you alone. Deal with it”, he says. 

The statement causes you to look down at the floor. The thought of him bothering you forever was too much to bear. 

Terry lifts your chin so you can meet his eyes. You’re stuck, unable to look away; almost like you were being hypnotized. 

He kisses you, his mouth engulfing yours. His lips were so soft, citing a moan from you. His hands slide their way to your butt. He squeezes, pulling you flesh against his body. 

He picks you up, walking you over to the bed. He places you down, still not breaking the kiss. 

Your tongues fight for power, neither of you wanting to fall to the other. 

“Take these off”, he says tugging at your pants. 

You oblige, removing your shirt, pants and underwear. He does the same, allowing you to finally get a good look at his body. 

He was chiseled by the gods. His shoulders were large, coupled with a six pack and a deep v-line leading down to a hung dick. 

Terry hovers over you, settling his face in the crook of your neck to inhale your scent. His fingers begin to rub up and down your pussy, softly grazing over your clit. 

He plunges two fingers in you. He licks from your collarbone to the shell of your ear. He gives it a kiss. 

“Still as tight as last time. There’s no way somebody else been in here,” he teases in your ear. 

“Would’ve been better than you anyways,” you reply. 

Terry freezes. He pulls his fingers out of you, lifting his head up to stare in your eyes. The stoic expression is back. 

Uh oh. 

He sits back, using your hips to flip you on your stomach. His hands find your hair and he pushes your face into the mattress. He straddles you, his other hand on your back.  You can feel his dick resting on your ass. 

“I’ve been being really nice. I don’t appreciate all this back talk,” he says. 

“If you stop talking so much shit then maybe we wouldn’t have that problem,” you reply. 

Terry pushes you further into the mattress, leaning in closer to your face. 

“Apologize and mayb-“, he starts. 

“Fuck you”, you spit, cutting him off. 

With no warning, he slams into you, taking a pause so you can adjust around him. 

His grip loosens from your hair, wrapping it around to cover your mouth. He lowers the rest of his body on you, trapping you between him and the mattress. 

“You don’t know how to shut up and be a good girl. Always got that bitchy attitude. That’s ok, I can fix that”, he says with a smile. 

He begins to thrust into you, hard. The position made it feel like he was poking your lungs. 

“Can’t nobody fuck this pussy like I can.”

He would pull up, only leaving the tip; rolling his hips, before thrusting back in. He kept moving over your spot; it felt like scratching an itch slowly.

“Talking all that big shit, say something now,” he urges, removing his hand. 

All you could respond with was a moan. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t form any words. He was fucking you dumb. 

You began to pant, feeling out of breath; that familiar knot growing in your stomach. 

Terry shifts, the change of angle reaching a new dept within you. 

“Cumming,” you say with an exasperated sigh. He continued to fuck you through it, making it feel like it was going on forever. 

“That’s what I thought”, he says. 

Terry flips over to his side, taking you with him. He grabs the back of your knee, pulling it up to your ear. He slides back into you, feeling even deeper than before. 

“Ah, fuck, that feels so fucking good”, you say. 

“You are mine, this pussy is mine, all MINE. You belong to me,” he growls, planting a kiss on your knee.  

You nodded. The words sounding like music to your ears. If this was the kind of dick you’d get everyday, you thought it wouldn’t be too bad. Besides, you know he wasn’t going to leave you alone anytime soon. Especially if you had a baby on the way. 

“You will be a slut for me, whether you like it or not  

He kept slamming into, never letting up. His free hand grabs your neck, pulling you closer to his face. You felt the warmth of his breath on your skin. 

“I’m gonna cum again”, you say. 

“Let it go, wet that dick up”, he replies. 

With that, you let go, screaming to the heavens. Terry follows closely behind. You feel him tense up as he paints your walls white. 

The two of you are a mess of sweat and deep breaths. Terry pulls out of you, looking down at the art he created. He gives a playful slap to your ass cheek.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”, he says.

You roll your eyes, getting a chuckle out of him. 

He gets up, heading to the bathroom to check on the test. 

“Oh look”, he says flashing it to you, “it’s negative”.

-

@nahimjustfeelingit-writes @skvrpion @avoidthings @jimmybutlrr @persethegawd @nayaesworld @mymindisneverhere @theereina @thabiddie23 @planetblaque @megamindsecretlair @melaninpov @madamzola @literallegendicon @blyffe

[a-substantial-trash-pile]

Catalyst

so in my au which i'm totally not using to cope or anything haha, after realizing that curly isn't going to do anything about jimmy, anya confides in swansea and he goes Protective Dad Mode. i'm calling this the "Responsibility AU." ramble below cut.

swansea doesn't immediately go after jimmy with an axe or anything because 1. they're not in a high stress life/death crash situation and 2. anya specifically requests that swansea not enact violence upon jimmy after swansea says, and i quote, "i'm gonna beat his ass." anya just wants to feel safer and more supported on the ship—she doesn't want swansea to get in trouble even if jimmy does deserve to get destroyed by 10000 punches.

what swansea can do is watch out for anya and make sure she's never alone in a room with jimmy. if there's a situation where she has to be alone with jimmy (like the psych evals), she and swansea have a system where she can signal for help. with anya's permission, swansea asks daisuke to help look out for her too (without telling him the details as to why since that's anya's right to share or not). daisuke has already picked up at this point that something is wrong based on how much more hostile swansea's become towards jimmy, and he trusts his boss, so he agrees without much question.

anya, feeling less alone now that she has people watching her back, gains more confidence to stand up to jimmy. which makes him angry because his unwanted advances are being denied and swansea and daisuke keep getting in his way. he just can't understand why he's being treated as the bad guy here (this is because he is a delusional asshole).

meanwhile curly is slowly realizing that he needs to actually do something here because the tension in the crew is palpable and increasing by the day. also swansea is being mighty passive aggressive to him and talking about "responsibility" a lot. curly keeps trying to talk to jimmy about it but the guy just keeps downplaying it and blaming everyone else but himself. and curly is realizing that his friend isn't who he thought he was.

it all comes to a head one day when an angry jimmy tries to confront anya alone and swansea steps in. things get heated, people start yelling. curly show up to see swansea and jimmy on the verge of fighting with anya and daisuke trying to hold them back respectively. curly breaks up the fight. jimmy storms off. curly follows him and finds him trying to get the gun from the case in the cockpit. curly asks him why he's doing this and jimmy claims it's for his own protection because he feels "threatened by swansea." he tells curly to give him the code. curly, the sheer wrongness of the whole situation hitting him, finally calls jimmy out on all his bs. jimmy just laughs in his face, still believing that he's not in the wrong and curly doesn't have the guts to do anything anyway. so the captain fires him on the spot. jimmy snaps and he and curly get into a fight in the cockpit. jimmy is trying to crash the ship and curly is trying to stop him. then the rest of the crew show up and anya knocks jimmy's ass out with the gun case. swansea is so proud.

they throw jimmy in the cryopod so they don't have to worry about him pulling anything else and he can be properly dealt with once the stupid delivery is over. everyone's like, "wow that was a close one—could you imagine how messed up it would be if we ended up in a crash because of jimmy? thank god that didn't happen." curly makes swansea the copilot until they can get a replacement and swansea's like, "goddammit as if i don't already do enough shit around here."

anyway my whole goal here was to get rid of jimmy early so i can have beautiful Found Family shenanigans in space with the rest of the crew. apologies and healing and happy times will happen. no the whole getting laid off thing doesn't happen. no i don't have an explanation for it. sorry for the essay.

[aerospectrum]

"Nothing." Cas insisted, looking up to watch the tears fall- feeling himself swept away by the guilt of his actions and words. "Madison.. I'm sorry, I.. you didn't do anything, I'm sorry I didn't mean--" when she screamed it forced his shoulders to jump up to his ears and surprisingly her shove had force enough to make Cas stumble back. "Madison wait!" he called after her- his eyes squeezed shut with how hard the door slammed- feeling the room ricochet around them.

The three of them listened to the shatter from upstairs and Dean rushed for the steps, Cas’ fingers grazed Dean's wrist before the hunter yanked away from him. "Dean, I just wanted to help-"

"Well you didn't!" Dean barked at him, half towering over him with darkened eyes and muscles tensed. "If you weren't some stupid kid right now, I'd kill you myself with your own blade." Dean spit the words out and almost instantly wished he could've swallowed them down before they'd came out. He watched the shift of emotions, the turmoil and the defeat- all of it and then Castiel's gaze hardened, like somehow he'd garner his grace back and smite them all. Instead...

"I hate you!"

Sam watched the way Cas fled the house and Dean- trapped between going after him or going up to Madison. "Just go check on Madison."

Dean raised his arm above the doorframe, searching for a door key- exhaling relief when he felt the metal. He twisted with the key, hearing it click and slowly he nudged the door open. "Can I come in?" he asked, not wanting to breach the containment of her safety in case she decided to lob something at his head too. "Not...to invalidate you here but... but you know Cooties aren't real, right?" he used the door as his shield for a second longer, then took the risk and stepped in, beelining to take a seat next to her. "I'm sorry." he began. "For all of this, I- I wish you'd called some bullshit ghost investigator instead too." he twirled his thumbs around each other and stared at the space between his knees. "It would've save you a lot of trouble... but I'm kinda happy you fucked up and called us; kinda thought you and I had something.. maybe." he shrugged, trying to soothe the heat of the anger overtaking her. "Even if you did give me cooties." he bumped her elbow with his, trying to prompt a smile.

He inhaled deep and looked around the room at the mess of things she'd thrown around and broken. "That's one hell of an arm you got, want me to clean this up for you?..." he looked at her again. "Madison. The angels are gonna realize that's a children's tale and Gabriel's gonna leave and... things will go back to normal for you again. He shouldn't have said it, I'm not defending him, but I know i've said a helluva lot worse about people before myself; and I wasn't 14 when I did it either...." he wanted to run his hand along her leg or hold her hand and show her some sort of comfort, but every time he thought about it he worried she'd flip out and smack him like she had in the motel.

Running a hand through his hair Dean sighed and dropped both hands to his thighs, unsure what else to say that wouldn't infuriate her or make her feel invisible. "What do you want us to do, Madison?" Dean stood from the bed. "We can leave now, I can get a guy out here to fix that extra door in the wall in your kitchen and we can disappear into obscurity like you've never even called if that's what you want."

Madison sat there dumbfounded.

It was happening again. The slow motion. The delayed words. The slow processing. Her eyes bounced from cas then to Sam, then to Dean, & back to cas. Head tilting slightly trying to understand what he said.

“Why?” She asked softly. Her eyes welling w/ tears. “Why did you do this to me?? What… what did I do to you?”

A few tears slid down her cheeks. Maybe she was a cry baby. A big useless cry baby. “Why would you even say I have cooties…. What did I do to you?”

Her hand came up to wipe her face & she sniffled. “I wish I had never called you all!” She shouted before standing up & pushing cas away & running to the stairs & running upstairs. For the second time in 24 hrs she was slamming the door to her bed room, this time, locking it. In frustration, she reached for the nearest unlucky item which happened to be a glass vase of candy & hurled into at the wall. It shattered & she screamed in anger. Had her furniture been alive they might have cowardly hid. There were a few other items that went flying before she flopped down on her bed putting her head in her hands.

The tears had stopped & she was now just seething. Who was she even supposed to be upset at? Herself? For getting caught in this mess & in deans charms? Cas for lying? Gabriel for breaking a hole into her home? She sat in bed staring around the floor.

[carmyberzattosjournal]

Therapy Files 1: Dead Enough to be Alive

Screenshot Credit: @neverscreens

Summary: Carmy is headed to his first therapy appointment and his girlfriend (who he calls Darling) tries to soothe him while he freaks out about it. (873 Words)

Warnings: Swearing, mention of vomit, passive suicidal thoughts, impending mental breakdown (no breakdown in this one), fem reader/generic lass who is a trauma surgeon, she/her pronouns.

Notes: Thank you for reading and sharing! Sideblog for social stuff: @m-z-shoroi. If you want to filter out the therapy posts, the tag is #cb therapy files.

Day 1

I almost threw up the day of therapy.

It's funny how al-anon meetings didn't fuck me up this bad. Being a no-face in a room full of faceless sufferers somehow made it easier to summon and examine the pain of Mikey dying, of cooking consuming every aspect of my being until all that was left was this chewed lump of mangled muscle and bone fighting for some form of continued existence. I could rip it from my chest, hold it in my hand, turn it in the light. Look at all the faces, the thin spots, the gouges, the dents. Half the people there weren’t listening to me at all, were lost in the turmoil of their own pain and suffering, of the loved ones that were too far away to reach or so unreachable that they were gone. I didn’t mind it.

Half the time, I just needed to hear what I had to say, anyway. Something about the words coming out of my mouth, as stuttered, incomplete, inadequate as they were; something about hearing my own voice say them to me, of my voice hitting my ears—that was the important part. I’ve been through hell and back, I understand clearer than anyone else that I’m the most powerful climber I know. I don’t need someone to grab my hand and pull me out of this mess; I just need someone to know that I’m here. I need someone to witness my existence, my pain, my misery. I just need someone to come looking for me if I go quiet for too long. Just a face over the edge of the cliff. They don’t need to say nothing. They just need to exist.

I’m just dead enough to be alive at all, and in a room full of ghosts, that’s an easier thing to reconcile than trying to explain that to a fucking therapist (who’ll probably put me on some sort of watch list after probing me with a thousand questions about whether or not I want to die, how I plan to do it, how much of my plan I’ve enacted). I shouldn’t be pissed. It’s their job. Fuck only knows how many times they’ve had their 3:00 not show up only to find out the next day that their 3:00 would never show up for anything again. But how else do I explain these brambles of mortality, this barbed wire anchored in my skin. I can’t escape death.

He owes me a brother.

He owes me some fucking answers.

 Darling's hand landed on my thigh. "Baby, you're going to crack your knees on the dashboard if you don't stop bouncing your leg like that."

And I'm fucking terrified of therapy.

"Why are you terrified, sweetheart?"

Shit, I said that aloud, didn't I? "I just... I don't know." I raked my hair back. "I don't know."

"It's a little too late to cancel the appointment now—"

"I know, I know, I know." I pressed the heels of my hands into my cheekbones. I know. I’m not saying I’m not going to go; I’m saying I’m terrified. Those are different things.

She squeezed my knee. "Breathe, pretty boy."

I heaved a breath.

"You're gonna be okay, baby.”

"What if I'm not?"

It took her a bit to answer. "Then we'll do what we can to make it okay."

She can’t make promises, but right about now I need some of those. Promise me I’ll be okay? Promise me it’s not as bad as it seems?

The car turned, then stopped. Her cold fingers curled around my wrist.

"Hey. Look at me, Bear?"

I dropped my hands, but I couldn't make myself look over. Don't know why; it probably would've calmed me down to see her pretty face, but my eyes stayed glued to the hood of the car parked in front of us, the icicles hanging in front of the grill. Teeth. Fuck, I was clenching my jaw again. Heat surged in my chest, crawled up into my neck, only this time, the panic didn’t come with it—my eyes just stung. I only felt a breakdown coming.

She interlocked her hand with mine, brought the back of it to her warm lips. Pressed a kiss to it, just to the side, behind my thumb. She returned it with a plum-pink lipstick print on it. Jagged, sharp, blurred edges, but distinctly hers.

"Do you think that'll help?" She whispered, carding through my curls, tucking them behind my ear.

I’m trying not to have a meltdown, baby girl, I’m useless.

She pulled my shirt collar down and planted another one on my sternum, just below where the neckline would be. It bloomed a wave of coolness in my chest. A comfortable cold. This wasn’t ice against my chest; ice is sharp, jagged, a frozen lightning bolt. The kiss was milder, softer. Diffuse.

She replaced my shirt, pecked my mouth. “How about that one?”

How about you give me another one after this fucking appointment, hm?

Tags: @jess248, @catharticconsolation, @persymons, @morgthemagpie, @glitch0o0, @nox-is-thename @forgechildofheph @leminjelly

[leniisreallycool]

Colors

A knock on the doorframe of you open door disturbs you from your concentration. You look up to see Lucifer standing there, a concerned expression twisting his lips in a slight frown.

"Something wrong?" you say, breaking the slience.

He crosses his arms. "Nothing serious, but earlier Beel mentioned that you're colorblind. Why didn't you say anything sooner? We could have made better accommodations."

"What are you talking about? I'm not colorblind." You swivel your chain to face him, thoroughly confused. "Why would Beel say that?"

He frowns deeper. "He's certain that you are. If I remember correctly, he said you couldn't differentiate between red and *****. Apparently you tried to eat an unripe Devilberry, which are red when ripe."

You blink. "Sorry, red and what?"

Lucifer repeats the word, and now you're certain it's not one you know. "The fruit naturally starts out that way, then turns red as they ripen. I believe Satan posted a list of foods that are poisonous to humans on the refrigerator, which you must have seen when taking the berries."

"Yeah, I know the list is there. But the berries were red. I wouldn't have taken them if they weren't. The unripe ones are poison." Is he messing with you?

Lucifer shakes his head. "No, red is a very different color. I suppose Beel must have been correct in his assessment."

"What? No, I've taken tests, I have a good eye for color. I don't know what word you said, but that's not a real color." He has to be messing with you.

Before he can respond, Asmo bursts into the room and throws his arms around you. "Oh you poor darling, missing out this whole time! I didn't realize you couldn't appreciate my true beauty!"

You don't have time to formulate a reply as Mammon and Levi both barrel past Lucifer, who stumbles a bit before regaining his balance. Mammon hugs you tightly from behind over the back of your chair, ignoring the awkward angle he has to lean.

Levi sits on you and pokes your face a little too close to your eyes and you swat his hands off. For once, you pushing him back doesn't seem to bother him. "So that's why you suck at Devilcart - you've been playing severely impaired! Don't worry, Henry, I'll adjust the color settings so you can see better next time."

"Back off, clingy! They just discovered their vision is piss poor, can't you see they're distressed?!"

"You're the only one stressing them out, loudmouth," Belphie says, taking a seat at your knees, leaning his head against them. You hadn't even noticed him entering the room.

Beel stands in the doorway next to Lucifer, looking sufficiently apologetic for unleashing his brothers on you while you were trying to study. "I told Satan too, but he went to the royal library to figure out what colors humans are supposed to see. He said humans usually see ***** as red and wanted to double check."

"Well, I still have no idea what word you guys keep saying, but it's not one I know. And yeah, as far as I could tell, those Devilberries were red."

Immediately, all six of them gave you identical pitying looks. This is ridiculous. Three of the four cuddling you immediately chatter over each other, all competing for who was being most empathetic to your newfound inability.

"So this whole time, every time you've been poisoned in potions class, or wherever else due to a misunderstanding of ingredients, it's because humans can't see that part of the light spectrum. Their brains just interpret it as the most convenient color rather than actually processing it as it is," Satan explains, stepping around Beel, nose buried in a leather-bound tome that looked at least four centuries old.

"That was fast. Beel said you just left," you say, deciding to be unbothered by the situation.

Satan nods. "I already knew where the book was; I just had to grab it and come back."

"Wait wait wait - are you saying no human can properly appreciate my beauty? Not even Solomon?" Asmo detangles his arm from you long enough to 'faint'.

"Can you quit yappin' about yourself when MC is having a crisis over here?! They clearly don't need the extra hassle!"

"You're the loud one, Stupidmammon! STFU and back off!"

"Oh, you know, I forgot that other things can see colors humans can't, and vice versa. I guess demons can see a larger portion of the light spectrum?" you reply, completely ignoring the drama trio. "Humans can see from red to purple, nothing further on either side. I think there are colors we recognize as being real when that's not what they should look like, like yellow, but I can't remember more than that."

"I don't know what you mean by that, but this book does mention that humans can see a very limited range of colors. Even shrimps can see more than humans, which is odd, given how inferior the species is," Satan explains.

You've been living in the Devildom for a while now. You're used to the batshit insane shenanigans they get themselves into daily. But for some reason, Satan, one of the most powerful demons in existence, one of the great tempters of mankind and one of the few demons most humans believe in, saying 'shrimps' set you off giggling like a maniac.

"We're not doing this again-" "Oh HELL no, it was terrifying and creepy enough last time-" "Predictable weird humanness-" "They were fine last time-" "Is laughing just how humans cope with stress?"

With a heavy sigh, Lucifer strides over and easily hefts you out of your chair and away from the four leeches like a parent lifts their toddler from a highchair. He sets you down a little distance away from them, giving you space to collect yourself.

The brother disperse not long after that, the novelty of your apparent colorblindness already wearing off.

The next day, however, Asmo drags you with him to the mall, saying he needed your help with an experiment. And that's how Asmo discovered that humans can't see ultraviolet and that most of his favorite colors either look like a basic blue or purple, and that you genuinely think ***** looks good on him (it does just like everything else, but it's so not his color, hun).

[tinydefector]

Can i request a Sunstreaker×Reader(gender nuetral)nsfw one shot?

Attachments- Human Effects

Sunstreaker x human

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: nsfw, touching, naked bodies, interspecies relations.

Fic masterlist

Prev

Next

______________

Ambassador hums to themself as they watch Sunstreaker, Bluestreak and Traxies mess around and mingling. It was nice to see the blue mech so care free after the recent events. In truth they believe everyone is excited to be heading back to Cybertron.

 "You boys better not damage each other God forbid Optimus or Ironhide and Prowl see you three damaged." They call out with a playful smile. Sunstreaker turns his helm toward the human Ambassador with scoff. "Don't worry, we know better than to damage the merchandise," he replies cockily. While he enjoys sparring with his convoy mates. 

Still, he can't help snickering a little as Bluestreak leaps at Traxies, sending them both tumbling across the floor in a tangled pile of limbs. The two mechs wrestling playfully, but Sunstreaker knows from experience just how wily Bluestreak can be in a scrap.

Sunstreaker observes the ruckus with amusement, crossing his arms over his broad chest, Bob chitters and squeals as he watches the two mechs play, looking to his master as if to ask if he can join. “Go play Bug” he hums, Bob runs full speed before clambering onto Bluestreak's back, a shrill cry coming from the Insecticon as he attempts to wrestle Bluestreak off Traxies. 

They shake their heads in amusement before turning to watch Sunstreaker as he saunters up to them. "Hello Sunstreaker, what can you do for you?" They tilt their head slightly, eyes flicking up to his optics. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were missing out on all the fun." He gestures casually toward Bluestreak, Traxies and Bob who are still play-wrestling amid peals of laughter, and chirps.

He redirects his focus to the Ambassador, azure optics sweeping over their form in a slow, appreciative once-over. One hand comes up to buff a spot on his broad chest, as if to draw attention to the gleaming sheen of his plating. 

"What do you say we find somewhere a little more private, got something I want to talk to you about" he suggests. But his subtle hint isn't lost on them after how forward Ratchet had been. 

"Christ Sunstreaker, are you hitting on me now too?" they groan out softly, but no true anger or discomfort is in their voice. Sunstreaker lets out a sly chuckle at the Ambassador's reaction. "That wasn't what I was intending but if you take it that way I'm sure I could make an exception for you," he replies with a wink. "Besides, a mech like me would be a fool not to take advantage of such charming company, while it lasts." 

He begins walking with them, making his strides slower so that they could keep up with him. " unless you're already catered for? I have heard rumours of certain other members of our crew. Not that I blame you." 

"No I'm not spoken for, just..... it's complicated" they state softly, not really wanting to have more mechs listening in on their conversation. "Let me guess you saw the pin up photos?" They ask, eyes flicking to Sunstreaker again.

He chuckles lightly. "Ah, I see. 'Complicated' seems to be the way of things around here more often than not." He gives the Ambassador a knowing look, he himself had complicated flings with Rodimus, Skids and Mirage. 

"Let's just say Ratchet has fine taste, and leave it at that." He hums waiting to see how they would react to those words, he was hoping Ratchet hadn't seen the pin-ups and made a move, he didn't think the Medic would, he was in a relationship with the Ex-con, but he never knew with the CMO. 

 "Ah so you know..” they mumble softly. It makes Sunstreaker realise that Ratchet had indeed made a move on them. 

“ I felt like if I do anything more than I already have I'll have the whole crew at my door. And I'm already trying not to have issues with command on Cybertron and not to mention the Galactica union." They mutter.

"Affairs of the spark can certainly make logistics...complicated," he acknowledges with a wry quirk of his lip plates. "Especially where command protocols and off-world politics are involved. Primus forbade any diplomat to find themselves on the wrong side of bureaucracy!" It's a chuckle, a true one from the rather snarky mech.  

“Please don't spread it around, I don't need Magnus up my ass over me having a fling With the crew let alone the CMO” they pleade hoping that he understood enough how bad the situation was for them if it got out of hand, 

 "Easy, your secret is safe." He shoots them a conspiratorial wink. They laugh loudly. "Sunny no offence but you are one of the least subtle or Discrete mech I have ever met" they giggle while looking away. He grumbles as he looks away feeling ashamed to have been called out. "Guilty as charged" he admits under his breath. 

His reigns in the snarky comment he wanted to shoot their way. "I wanted to.. frag how do i say it.” He grumbles again before trying to figure out how to broach the subject, he had never been the one trying to get someone in berth, it was always others trying to get him into their berth. 

“I would like to invite you to um… Frag im slag at this. Would you be interested in interfacing with me?" He manages to ask, feeling the heat under his plates making his frame uncomfortable due to the situation.

 The Ambassador freezes up, head snapping towards the yellow gold mech with surprise on his face. “ I…” they start only from Sunstreaker to hiss at himself for being stupid. “no I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked” 

"I don't have anywhere to be for the next cycle, I was just checking up on Traxies" they blurted out to him. In truth Sunstreaker was a very pretty mech, they just never took him as one to be interested in humans. 

Sunstreaker's optics flash brightly as he catches the Ambassador's words. "Well now, a whole cycle to yourself?" he asked, almost speechless, excited and intrigued.  

"As it happens, I find myself also unexpectedly free for the foreseeable cycle," he adds casually, leaning down to scoop them up into his servos and arms.  "Only conditions are, I can't have others finding out about this, do not talk about it with others" they state.

 " I'm not looking for a relationship,  f you have issues with that or me being with others, I'm occasionally sleeping with others, please reconsider" they explain. Sunstreaker nods slowly as he considers the Ambassador's terms, mouthparts pressing into a thin line.

"Very well, i won't tell anyone," he promises, voice low and serious. "As for your other arrangements...that is your affair, not mine." Truth be told, he wasn't looking for a relationship either, but he was rather intrigued to see what a human was like in berth. 

The trip to Sunsteaker's website is a decent one but now that they are in there they look around admiring the different decorations, paints and detail supplies he had around.

A smug smile crosses his faceplate. "Like what you see?" he purrs, leaning down until his face is mere inches from theirs. "I take great pride in my collection. Only the finest."

They look over the many different paints and rims. The only way they could really describe it was like walking into a hat and shoe collectors house. "Woah fancy paints you have, never seen you in anything but the gold yellow" they hum while walking around. Sunstreaker chuckles slowly as the Ambassador examines his collection of paints and detailing supplies. "They are my pride and joy," he says, optics glittering with undisguised delight. "You'd be surprised how much work goes into maintaining my finish." 

He watches them with rapt attention as they wander, taking in the array of exotic pigments and high-grade polishes. A pleased rumble escapes his vocalizer when they compliment his prized finishes. But then, with a playful flick of his wrist, he sends a plush detailing cloth sailing toward the Ambassador. They yelp in surprise, and Sunstreaker can't help but burst into raucous laughter at their reaction.

"What, did you think I'd let you admire my collection without getting your hands dirty?" he teases, stalking closer. "This frame doesn't clean and polish itself, you know." he looms over them, one digit tracing the curve of their jaw. 

"I do so enjoy a little...hands-on assistance," he murmurs, voice dropping to a low purr. They just stare at him for a moment. "You... you brought be back here to be your personal polisher didn't you, I can't believe I got swindled like this, and here I thought you were looking for something else" it's a playful huff and teasing.

But the glint in his optics and the sly quirk of his lip plates give away his true amusement. He leans down until their faces are mere inches apart, " no, my dear Ambassador, I had quite a different sort of hands-on activity in mind." His voice drops to a sultry purr. 

Bringing them up to his chestplate, he rumbles, "There, that's much better." His field practically crackles with smug satisfaction as he gazes down at them, azure optics burning with unveiled desire. "Now then, let's see what those nimble little fingers of yours can do," he murmurs. One thumb gently strokes along their side in a teasing caress.

 "I have a few...sensitive spots that could use your attention." 

"Oh do you now?" They chuckle while sitting down on his plating. Discarding their uniform top as they grab the polish and cloth. One hand pressed to his chassis as they give him a playful yet seductive look. Fingers trailing down the ridges and edges before they throw the polish cloth at his face with a laugh. 

Sunstreaker lets out an indignant squawk as the polish cloth hits him square in the faceplate. His optics widened in shock, field flaring with offence. "Why, you cheeky little--!" he sputters, swiping the cloth away. But despite his outrage, a frown tugs at the corners of his lip plates. 

"Oh, you're going to pay for that one," he growls playfully, optics glinting with mischief. Careful not to jostle the Ambassador, he shifts his weight, feinting as if to make a grab for them. "I'll have you know I don't take kindly to such flagrant disrespect of my finish," he huffs, trying and failing to keep a stern expression.

Sunstreaker may be vain, but he's not above a bit of playful back-and-forth. He settles back, They settle back down on his plating, relaxing into his servos. The cold metal trails up their sides, a slight shiver running down their spine as he drags his digits over their body admiring how different human physiology is to his. He could see why the rest of the crew were so taken by the ambassador.

"Fascinating," he murmurs, digits ghosting reverently over their skin. He can't help but marvel at the sheer softness and pliability of their form, so different from his own rigid, metallic plating. "You know," he purrs, voice dropping to a low, sultry rumble, "the rest of the crew really has excellent taste." One thumb brushes teasingly across their jaw. "I can certainly see the appeal..."

His free servo comes up, fingers lightly caressing their chest in gentle, exploring sweeps. Sunstreaker is utterly captivated, his focus zeroed in solely on them. "Christ Sunny, you just interested in teasing me, with how thirsty you bots are online I was expecting you to be a bit more handsy" they tease.

Sunstreaker chuckles lowly. "Thirsty, you say?" he rumbles, optics glittering with mischief. "In fact," he purrs, leaning in until his breath ghosts across their skin, "I'd say I'm positively famished." His grip tightened.

They let him remove the shirt, digits caressing their skin as he trails further down their body. Sunstreaker savours the soft moans that escape the Ambassador's lips, his own vocalizer rumbling in response. He trails feather-light kisses along their skin, his glossa darting out to taste the subtle nuances of their unique scent and texture. 

They hear the hissing and clicking of his plating moving, shooting a look over their shoulder. Their eyes go wide when they see his spike. "Holy shit, Sunstreaker, there is no way that will fit in me at all!" They stutter out. 

Sunstreaker sulks, a frown falling across his faceplate. "My mods aren't that bad. don't you worry your pretty little head about that, Ambassador," he sits up ,moving the, to the berth as he stands up and moves over to storage cubes.

"You're welcome to look through the options, if you'd like," watching as he pulls out different mods for them to look at. "Umm do you have anything smaller?" Sunstreaker huffs. "Smaller?" he rumbles, "I'll have you know, Ambassador, that nothing about me is 'small'."

He rummages through the storage cube, plucking out a few choice attachments with a flourish. "But fortunately for you, I do believe I have a few. more modest options in here somewhere."

 "Let's see now..." he muses, "where did I put that petite little number?" A groan escapes his vocalizer. "Ah, here we are!" Sunstreaker presents the selected attachment. "I think you'll find this one much more manageable," he quips. 

They watch as he brings out the smaller spike, this one looked like it wouldn't impale them, it's a ‘small’ silver attachment with little details etched into the metal along with little balls along the length of it. "That one looks better in size, but umm. How exactly do you.." they trail off. Eyes flicking from the small spike in his servo and the large one between his thighs.

"How do I...?" he prompts, one optic ridge arching upward in a blatant display of smugness. He tsks, shaking his head in mock-pity. "Allow me to demonstrate."

With an exaggerated flourish, he swaps out the sizable spike for the more modest attachment, the change accompanied by a series of slick, metallic clicks and whirs. 

"There, you see?" he purrs, flexing his hips to show off the new addition. "Perfectly...proportional." 

______________________

Let me know if you would like to be added to tag list (tagged for every fic)

Taglist

@angelxcvxc

@wosemoose1

@savvy-the-mad-scientist

@yummybatteryacid

@saturnhas82moons

@horizonartist980

@murkyponds

@buddee

@bubblyjoonjoon

@chaihena

@pyreemo

@lovenotcomputed

@mskenway97

@delectableworm

@cheesecaketyrant

@ladyofnegativity

@desertrosesmetaldune

@stellasfallow

@coffee-or-hot-cocoa

@shinseiokami

@tea-loving-frog

@aquaioart

@daniel-meyer-03

@pupap123

@dannyaleksis

@averysillylittlefellow

@rosielecktor

@shurushurubanban

@strawberrydutchling

@azuragalaxya

@dumpster-fae

@simp-sentral

@smallestapplin

@starscreamloverfr

@doodle-dongs

@natchayaphorn

@askcookieanon

@aerisvirtue

@horizonartist980

@soulless-nocturnal-raccoon

@gracebear

@lilliaslonghair

@rabies10

@alextheknight707

@chershire23

@goretechnician

[spiderb00]

I'm live - Sophia Laforteza

Sophia Laforteza X reader 

Synopsis: Being a streamer is fun, even more fun if your girlfriend shows up by surprise on your live. 

Genre: Fluff 

a/n: I had this idea while I was watching Tinakitten's live on Twitch, I love her, she's my favorite streamer 

English is not my first language so maybe I messed up a little and blablabla. <3 

Streaming on Twitch has always been very relaxing for me, just playing and connecting with people felt very enjoyable. I never imagined how big this would all become, when I started it was just for fun and now I have just over two thousand people watching me every time I turn on the camera. All of this has given me amazing experiences, including meeting my beautiful girlfriend, Sophia Laforteza.   

I met Sophia at a concert, specifically backstage at Olivia Rodrigo's concert, we talked a little and discovered many things in common. After a lot of talking we ended up exchanging phone numbers, going on dates, and before I knew it I was acting like a teenager with his first crush. 

At first we were very afraid that it wouldn't work. Sophia has tight schedules and seems to be everywhere all the time, but we quickly managed to unite our schedules and make everything fit perfectly 

We hadn't made our relationship public yet, so no one knew we were dating, except of course, our families and the Katz's. What happens is that a few days ago my chat noticed that there was a female voice speaking a little loudly in the middle of the live, which earned me several spams and donations where people asked who was with me at home and why I didn't show them on the live, given that all my friends had already appeared on camera at some point. 

Even though I said it was just a friend and trying my best to shift the focus to something else, my chat didn't seem to be very convinced, they were always making jokes about the "mysterious girl" in my kitchen, like at this very moment.  

"Chat, can't you just forget about it?" I said as I leaned back in my chair, resting my arms above my head to be more comfortable as I waited for all my friends to join the strange game that Foolish forced us to play. 

"What are you talking about dummy?" Tina, my friend, said when she heard me grumble about the chat.  

"The chat just being mean to me!" I said while making a sad voice, only to break my banner laughing at the comments.   

Superglue2000 - We're Not Being Mean, We're Snooping 😊  

Bealovesyn – I'm trying to know who my wife is cheating on me with!!!

Cowboybibi – why did we never consider that it could be the voice of Tina? Yn and her seem very close... :/   

"Chat, what? Why are they putting Tina in this?" I said while laughing nervously.   

"Uh? Putting myself in what?" Tina said, her voice confused, she also seemed nervous about the situation. Tina and I are friends, neither of us wants things to get weird because of some speculation.   

"Guys, stop spamming Tina. She's never been in my kitchen." I said laughing, trying to give off an air of confidence, but I honestly think I was failing miserably.   

"Oh, that's crazy." Tina said laughing, I think she had already understood what was going on, she knew she wasn't involved in anything, so she had no reason to be afraid. 

Before I could say anything else, the door to my studio was opened, and there she was, in all her glory, my beautiful girlfriend, Sophia Laforteza.   

"Hey baby, I just arrived, I bought pizza on the way, do you want me to bring it to you?"  

Completely paralyzed, that's how I was. Without arguments and without knowing how to elaborate a word if you want. My only reaction was to whisper; 

"Baby, I'm live!"   

"I know beautiful, that's why I came here to ask if you want to eat, you've been there for a long time." Now, listen to me, despite the friendly tone, I know my Sophia, okay, I know my girl, and something's not right.  

"So yes, that's fine, thanks for asking."  

For the first time I had the courage to look at the chat.   

Spidermanmasc – Bro, you literally got a girlfriend, you dumped the losing nerds 

Cutekate – OMG, YOU REALLY HAVE SOMEONE! SHOW HER ON CAMERA!!  

Superglue2000 - Don't be shy miss, come and say hello...   

Eyekonswinning – this sounds crazy, but it sounds a lot like Sophia's voice??? 

"Well, now they're asking you to say hello..."  

Before I could complete my sentence and tell her that she didn't have to do it if she didn't want to, Sophia was already on my lap, appearing gracefully in the camera frame.   

"Hi guys, my name is Sophia, I'm Yn's girlfriend." The smile on her face seemed immense, I was completely paralyzed.   

Macaronechease – OMG, SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!  

Eyekonswinning – WHAT??? I KNEW THE VOICE WAS SIMILAR, BUT WHAT'S IT???? (You guys are very cute btw.)  

Superglue2000 – Your girlfriend is simply the leader of Katseye???

Spidermanmasc – like, and I say HOW DID YOU PULL THIS GIRL??? 

"Hey, what are you saying? I know my girlfriend is amazing, but you don't have to humiliate me." I said smiling. As unusual as all of this was, I was very happy with the positive comments.  

"Well, how about I go get the pizza and come see you play?" Sophia said as she looked at me, giving a quick kiss on my cheek before getting up and heading towards the kitchen.   

"Well... That was epic." Tina spoke, for a minute I forgot I was on the call.   

"Dude, how did you pull her???" It's literally the first sentence Foolish said on live.   

"Dude, shut up and let's play." 

After the live is over, Sophia and I are on the couch, relaxing.   

"So I love that we're public now, but I have to ask. Why did you decide to do this so unexpectedly?"  

"Because I love you, and I want everyone to know it..." She said as she gave me a long kiss.  

"And you're mine, no one will ship you with anyone other than me." she says grabbing my face with those huge nails.   

This woman is the death of me. 

[legomonkiefics]

Story of Mk where we sit him down and tell him to actually relax. Since this boy needs to have a relaxing day where he isn't stressing.

Maybe we put on Monkey Cop and do a movie marathon?

💛🍜 To Calm a Monkey Kid — MK x GN Reader Drabble 💛🍜

Genres: Fluff, mild hurt/comfort || He/they pronouns for MK, they/them pronouns for reader || No warnings needed

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⋆˚｡⋆୨🍜୧⋆˚｡⋆✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖

Having MK home for an extended period of time was usually very difficult. He was a delivery boy, local hero, and successor all at the same time. Suffice to say, home was something he was gradually seeing less and less of. And you weren't having one bit of it. It was all well and good that he was stopping Jin and Yin from messing with the city power and whatnot, but you were beginning to see how it affected them. Dark circles, droopy posture, a more unkempt appearance. Though MK always brushed it off with a smile and a wink, you knew them well enough to look past it. So when you got home one day, you began putting into motion a plan.

MK slid in hours later, closing the door behind them and sighing heavily. Their bandana was loose, hair ruffled, and body language slumped and heavy. As was consistent for the past few months, he looked an absolute wreck. "MK?" You called out, hearing the door closed from another room. MK shook off his exhaustion, quickly making their hair neat and rubbing his eyes. He bounded down the hallway, peeking in your shared bedroom to try and find you.

"Just got home! Where you at, baby?" They called. You came in from the bathroom, giving him a soft, concerned smile. He immediately wrapped you up, vibrant mask in full effect "There you are!". "How was your day?" You asked, immediately taking notice of how MK deflated just a bit. "Well- I'm not reaaally where I wanna be in my training, and the demons attacking today were pretty tough. And Pigsy's Noodles was just crawling with orders-" they listed off. Seeing you frown, MK immediately added, "But I'm fine! It's the end of the day now, so I'm good!". They felt a small hint of stress upon seeing your frown only deepen.

"Hey, hey, what's up? Did something happen?" He asked. "No, but... I'm worried about you" You admitted "You've been stretched thin these past few months. I can't remember the last time I saw you eat anything but noodles, and you're barely home". "I know" MK sighed, rubbing the back of their neck "But it's okay! I'll-"

"It's not okay" You interrupted, not rudely, but firmly "MK, I love you, and you cannot keep doing this to yourself. It's not healthy, honey. I don't want you to run yourself into the ground for other people". MK hung their head a bit, a look of guilt on their face. You gently rubbed their shoulder "I don't want to make you feel forced into anything, and I'll never ask you to give up your dream. But I need you to look out for yourself too, yeah? If you ever need my help, you can always ask". MK nodded, looking back up at you with a small smile, a genuine and vulnerable one this time "You're... right. You always are. It's just so hard with so much going on, y'know? I feel like I've got to be the Monkey Kid, all the time. But with you, I'm just... just Xiaotian"

"And that's an amazing thing" You said, gently kissing his forehead. He smiled wider, returning it by giving you a big kiss to the cheek. You chuckled, ruffling his messy hair "I've got a plan for us tonight, Xiao. Firstly, you gotta get all that hero stink off. Then we'll take it easy, as a first step to taking better care of yourself. Is that okay?". MK chuckled as well at the ruffling, looking at you with appreciative softness "Uh, yeah! Thank you so much, honeybee, I'll catch up in a sec". They gave you another big kiss to your face before picking up a new set of clothes and entering the bathroom.

As the successor cleaned, you prepped the rest of the room. Fluffed pillows, clean comforter, and all of MK's Monkey King cuddleable merch you could carry. You then sped off to the kitchen, picking up a tray of snacks you'd prepared. It didn't take long for MK to emerge again as clean, dressed in comfortable pajamas, with damp hair he was keeping down. They looked at the setup you'd finished as they were gone, glancing to the TV. Seeing what was on, their eyes brightened immensely and a broad grin came on his face.

They scrambled over, hopping into bed and crawling under the covers, causing you to have to catch the snack tray before it got tossed off. "No way!! You got Monkey Cop on DVD?!" They asked excitedly. You sat in beside him, scooting close to his side "It's a DVD set, actually. All the movies are in the box". MK flapped his hands excitedly, trying not to kick too much since he was easily getting tangled in the covers. "Yesss!! Are you finally gonna watch them all with me?" They asked, looking to you like an excited dog. You laughed a little, wrapping an arm around them and pressing your cheeks together "Absolutely. I think it's about time, yeah?"

MK scooped up the remote, quickly starting rhe first movie. He turned off the lights, snuggling down into the covers as he began munching from the bowl of popcorn you'd brought. You leaned into their shoulder as they kept an arm around you, seeing as the movie opened up. MK nuzzled the top of your head. "Thanks for this, babe. I really needed it". You smiled, nuzzling into them into return "No problem. You can come to me whenever, I'll always help you out"

With that, you two cuddled up more, wrapped in a bundle of blankets. MK moved his arm to where he could hold your hand, petting your fingers affectionately with his thumb as he watch the cheesy cop film with you. He made a promise to himself internally in that moment. Days like this, times like these with you, were what he was fighting for the most

[nuggeteri]

Could I please have some fluffy and/or hurt/comfort snowbugs please :)

That was a fast ask! XD But of course, I love me some snowbugs angst. here's wild life!

--

"What are you doing here, Tango?" Scott asks, leaning against the entrance of the GGGG team. Pearl and Impulse seemed to have been out making plans to kill Grian, while Cleo was either making alliances or mining.

"Oh! Uh! Hi Scott!" Tango says with his squeaky high voice-- Tango's voice was always a bit high, but only went to this pitch when he knew he'd gotten caught doing something he shouldn't. Scott's heart creaks hearing it. So he was doing what he thought he was doing.

"Tell me the truth. Were you setting up a trap or robbing us?" He asks and he does his best not to notice the way Tango fidgets with a little rock, tuff, he presumes, that he can see had been engraved on it, and he can only guess it was another 'Life's Tuff'.

"..Setting up a trap. Listen, Scott, this-- I'm red, okay? I need lives back." He explains and Scott's heart creaks again at the reminder of his abundance of lives. Tango had definitely suffered last session. Not like he cared or anything, though. No.

"Oh yeah? Or were you just trying to mess with me more?" 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Ah, so he had the audacity to lie, too. He sees it in the way his eyes seem to wander around, not quite looking at him. 

"Quit it, Tango. My team started together with you. Guess who isn't in this team now?" 

"Okay, now, don't spin this on me." Tango snapped as he looked back at Scott, fire-y red eyes looking straight at his. Red was Tango's natural eye color. It didn't make it any easier to see in a death game. It makes Scott's heart creak again. "You keep saying you don't want to team with people twice. What the heck is this team? I thought you'd follow me, not stay with them!"

Scott stands up still, approaching Tango. He feels his heart burning, creaking with pain. "How was I supposed to know that was your plan? You didn't even tell me where you were going." Tango's still leaning against his chests, while Scott was in front of him.

"I thought it was obvious."

"And I thought you knew better than assuming I can read your mind, Tango!" This time, it's Scott that's avoiding eye contact. Maybe, maybe if he'd payed more attention, he'd have seen the way Tango's eyes flickered between him and the floor.

"I didn't-- Listen. I just.. The Tuff Guys--"

It sounded like an apology. It sounded like an apology, but Scott didn't wanna hear it. Maybe if he did, he'd have been ready for the upcoming events.

"Quit it. I don't wanna hear it." 

..Tango gets out a shovel, and mines the block under Scott, and Scott's heart screams.

Smajor1995 fell from a high place

<Tango> That's mine

[frau-wilhelm-klink]

Well, I finally got around to doing these! It's a little long – and some of my takes may be unpopular – but these are still my headcanons🤷🏻‍♀️ (Had to make a few minor edits to 'em now that I'm properly awake, though.) So without further ado, buckle up and take a peek under the cut!

The Germans

Schultz:

1) Is definitely not a Nazi! Cases can be made for him being both neutral and pro-Allied, but I like to think of him as neutral. He isn't a man who's into politics or anything like that, he just wants his toy factory back.

2) Low-key thinks of Hogan and his team as additional nephews, so does his best to be somewhat responsible while still being the fun uncle.

3) Has privately asked Hogan off screen to make sure he, his family and Klink aren't blamed and/or arrested for crimes they didn't commit after the war. Schultz doesn't think that would happen...but given everything that went down after World War I with the Treaty of Versailles, he isn't taking any chances.

______

Hochstetter:

1) Is a hardcore, unapologetic Nazi who hates the Geneva Convention's very existence. Only tolerates it because of Klink's insistence that his prisoners be treated humanely, and despite the disrespect he shows the kommandant, Hochstetter is aware he's outranked.

2) Has gotten to the point where he's obsessed about Hogan more than a teenager with a celebrity crush. Like, he's just a legitimate stalker at this point🤣 Hochstetter is determined to prove Hogan is Papa Bear at any cost, if for no other reason then so his superiors will stop assuming he's not mentally all the way there.

3) Is very good at his job, surprisingly enough! Hochstetter makes a damned fine detective when he's not dealing with anything involving - or potentially involving - Stalag 13. Fortunately for the boys, he tends to let his hatred and obsession with Hogan blind him to a lot of things, resulting in him dropping the ball on more than one occasion. (Most notably, the episode with Group Captain Roberts.) Of course, Hogan being able to play him like a fiddle doesn't help Hochstetter's case either.

______

Gertrude Linkmeyer:

1) Knows in her heart of hearts that her husband Otto is probably dead. As Burkhalter once told her, that's usually what 'missing in action' at the Russian Front means. But Gertrude won't ever admit that out loud because as long as she keeps denying it, she can hold on to the fragile hope that he might still be alive. Is still internally grieving for him nonetheless, though.

2) Contrary to popular belief, doesn't actually want a romantic relationship with Klink. She likes him and thinks he's cute, but she's mature enough to know you need more than that to be happy in a relationship. However, Gertrude is going along with her brother's attempts to force the pair into marriage for two reasons.

She can see Klink appears to be somewhat naïve in a few ways, and she wants to protect him from women who would use him...of which there have been a few. As stated above, Gertrude genuinely does like him as a person in his own right, so she figures a platonic marriage of convenience would be the best way to accomplish that goal. (He would also be much safer too - nobody in their right mind is gonna risk Burkhalter raining his wrath down on them because they messed with his sister's husband.) But Klink keep pushing her away because he doesn't realize what she's trying to do. It's very much a 'I'm trying to help you here, dummkopf!' kinda vibe.

Gertrude knows Burkhalter (supposedly) barely tolerates Klink, and it baffles her as to why he would constantly try to shove them together at all in that case. The tension alone would make the holidays a living hell. But she says nothing, choosing to obey his wishes like a dutiful sister should. Gertrude is smart enough to see the grave error in judgment Burkhalter's made for himself; she's just waiting for her brother to figure it out after it's too late so she can have the last laugh.

3) Actively 'wears Burkhalter's rank' (aka uses the 'My brother is a general' card) to get things done if she really wants to. Has also used her relationship with Burkhalter behind the scenes to keep him from sending Klink off to the Front on several occasions for the reasons listed above.

******

The POWs/Allies

Kinch:

1) Is the majority brain cell holder, and therefore the only one who has a hope in hell of stopping Hogan when he gets on a roll.

2) Is on a first-name basis with Hogan in private because the two of them are friends. Nevertheless, Kinch only uses that privilege when he really needs to get Hogan's attention...usually for something critical.

3) Is utterly fascinated by all types of communicative technology. Radios, telephones, TVs...you name it, Kinch is interested in learning more about how it works.

______

LeBeau:

1) Is a mother hen whenever anyone is sick - especially Newkirk and Hogan - because he knows they don't take proper care of themselves. Will deliberately wait until Newkirk is too sick to protest, then shove foods that are extra French down his throat as part of their friendly ongoing French-English rivalry.

2) Is perpetually miffed by Hogan's blatant refusal to let him and Newkirk go on Nazi-killing sprees. Legitimately wonders if Hogan has actually lost his mind on occasion as well.

3) Gets frustrated sometimes because he doesn't understand all the references (such as sayings, terms, etc) to American culture in the barracks. Relies heavily on Kinch (and to an extent, Hogan) to explain them to him.

______

Newkirk:

1) Hates any and all authority figures with a passion, due to having had all of them treat him like dirt because he's poor. Hogan is the one exception to that rule - Newkirk would do anything for his CO if asked. He appreciates how Hogan sees him as a person and values him for his skills, as opposed to his financial status.

2) Will never admit it out loud, but is a serious worrywart, especially when it comes to Carter or LeBeau.

3) Would rather die than ever admit he needs help. Newkirk was raised to believe every bit of help comes with a price, which is why he's extremely hesitant to ever ask for even the smallest thing.

______

Wilson:

1) Dearly wishes Hogan would give him some advance warning whenever the team goes out on missions so he can go to bed earlier. That would be much appreciated, considering he often gets dragged out of bed to patch up one or more of them at all hours of the night. It's one of the reasons he's a grumpy, salty medic. (The other part is because everyone always gives him lip and he's sick of it.) He's trying to help them stay healthy; the least they could do is be grateful!

2) Would absolutely sedate Newkirk and/or Hogan - and in his CO's case, has threatened to do so more than once - if need be. Literally keeps two small containers of makeshift anesthesia he had Carter whip up set aside with Hogan and Newkirk's names on it, just in case.

3) Has zero qualms about taking advantage of the fact that a medic's orders override anyone else's, including Hogan's. Every time the colonel gets sick, the two go through a similar song and dance.

Hogan insists he's "perfectly fine" (even if he sounds like death warmed over) and tries to leave to take care of his men.

Wilson tells him to stay put.

Hogan declines and says he's leaving.

Wilson tells him to stay put again, followed by threatening to have Schultz hold him down on the infirmary bed while he (Wilson) ties him to it.

Hogan indignantly squawks something to the effect of, "You wouldn't dare!"

Wilson - who has an evil little smile by this point - replies, "With all due respect, sir, try me. Either you can willingly stay put until I clear you to leave, or you'll be doing it involuntarily. Medic's orders. So, what's it gonna be, Colonel?"

Hogan reluctantly gives in.

Wilson chalks up another win, all while questioning his life choices and mentally bemoaning the fact he has the world's worst patient for a commanding officer.

______

Crittendon:

1) Isn't as stupid as he appears to be. Didn't buy his rank - that would imply he's not talented enough to earn it on his own, and he would see that as an insult. Even if he had, Crittendon would be hard-pressed to keep it if he was truly that big a screw up. Nepotism only gets you so far. Plays the fool on purpose so people will let their guard down around him, thereby enabling him to make multiple escape attempts. Unfortunately, he's pretty lousy at escapes, so he always gets recaptured.

2) Genuinely means well, but still manages to mess things up. Part of it is because he's too into his role of the idiot officer; the other part of it is being easily distracted. Has deliberately interfered with Hogan's plans more than once as well. Crittendon is a veteran of WWI, so he feels he's the only one of the POWs who knows how to fight a war properly. He sees it as his duty to educate them how things should be done.

3) Was still mentally stuck in WWI the first time he was captured. At some point between his transfer out of Stalag 13 and his next appearance there, Crittendon realized the Nazis have no honor, and that the rules of WWI have all but been chucked out the window. This explains why he did a 180° shift in attitude regarding Hogan's operation. Went from a 'Oh dear, you poor, misguided Yank...you really have no clue how to fight a war properly, do you? Let me teach you how the game is played' vibe to a 'Right, Jerry may not have any honor now, but I still know better than you, old boy. More war experience and all that, wot wot?' one.

______

Marya:

1) Is, essentially, the female version of Hogan. She's just as smart as he is. But in a era where a woman's opinion holds less weight, she has to get creative with her scheming. Plus, Marya likes keeping Hogan on his toes. Not only does it ensure her wits stay sharp, it gives her great joy to frustrate him to no end solely for the entertainment value.

2) Also enjoys making over-complicated plans, same as Hogan does. Sure, she could level with him about what she wants to do from the start, but where's the fun in that?😂 She wouldn't tell him everything anyway; she's smart enough to know you should never put all your eggs in one basket. Marya is well aware Hogan is a great leader, but she also knows firsthand from life in the USSR that even the strongest leaders can fall, and she doesn't want to be caught in the backlash if that happens.

3) Is hardcore crushing on Hogan. (Can't blame her for that; he is very handsome.) Tries to let him know - and thereby enable him to make the first move - by flirting with him constantly. When that doesn't work, Marya begins doing the same thing with LeBeau, trying to make Hogan jealous enough to kiss her and mark her as his woman...which eventually works. Persistence for the win!

The rest of my headcanons about Schultz and Newkirk can be found on this document, along with my ones of Klink, Burkhalter, Hogan and Carter.

Also, if anyone is interested, I did write out Klink’s experiences in both wars. It's told via flashback, however, which is why it abruptly jumps from World War I to World War II.

What are your top 3 headcanons for Hogan's Heroes in general?

What are your top 3 headcanons for each character?

[bixels]

What did/do you like about Pharah?

Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.

Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).

But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.

There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.

Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.

[dariusaurs]

i think dinostar is such an interesting ship right now even if i've kind of turned away from it after this season. the problem is that it's complicated, and fandoms historically don't like nuanced situations or takes. i don't think it's fair to say darius is putting brooklynn on a pedestal, since from his perspective, she hasn't done anything wrong, and kenji has been framed as this unfair partner to her. it does feel like his feelings are very immature and more of an infatuation right now ("if he loved you half as much.."/"unless?"), especially when you compare them to kenji's own feelings for brooklynn - his girlfriend who he's loved for 6 years - but that isn't a horrible thing, it's just different. i do completely understand if people dislike the ship right now, and even criticize darius' way of handling the accidental confession, but i just think people have been way too harsh on all three of them without being willing to see that all of their perspectives are different

[chimerafeathers]

there's an essay jumbled up in my brain about dunmeshi's beginning and how clever and deceptive it is as a sleight-of-hand trick that distracts the audience from the depth and scope of the worldbuilding and foreshadowing that's being set up the entire time by dangling zany characters and wacky dishes and biology fun facts in front of us, and how that serves to catch invested viewers off guard when those elements come to the forefront, but also how it works against it with other viewers wanting "more" and not seeing it because the plot bait isn't laid out up front

how people getting frustrated with the characters "not taking things seriously" is mirrored and refuted in the confrontation between Laios and Shuro. how the characters' attitudes aren't just a result of shallow low-stakes "comedy rules" where nothing matters, but are an extension of their personalities (Laios's nonstandard expression of emotions being offputting even to people he knows) and the world and social environment (adventurers being desensitized to death and injury because resurrection magic is commonplace). the way the party refers to "saving Falin" instead of "retrieving Falin's corpse," indicating that they still see her with full personhood, and how that phrasing leads to some readers/viewers believing that Falin is alive in the dragon's stomach, conscious of being slowly digested while the party carelessly fucks around "wasting time." how the weird tonal dissonance makes sense in-universe and yet is deliberately challenged more and more the deeper the party goes

all the character building and pieces of lore slowly weaving together the shape of the larger world, laying the groundwork for the major themes that will surface later. so much is right there in the "low-stakes" early episodes if you know what you're looking for (or pass the perception checks).

it can be so satisfying to see new viewers/readers pick up on the clues even in the earliest "simple" episodes, or notice new things and make connections yourself....and it can also be frustrating to see people dismiss oddities and dissonance as shallow or bad writing because they don't expect a "cooking anime" to have depth like that. why try to question and understand and peel back the layers when you don't expect there to be any layers?

why can't laios take things seriously for once?

[arcane-ish]

I'm basically the opposite of a JayVik shipper, but to me the scene felt too short not because it should have been more emotional but because I feel like an audience I don't know what Viktor's deal is and why he's leaving.

I don't think that it's a big deal that Viktor is unemotional because I assume that that is the influence of the void/hextech thing that is changing him from the inside.

I kind of don't like how season 2 so far makes pretty much no effort at all to be self contained. It just assumed that everybody remembers everything from season 1 rather than laying out the characters emotions more. Becuse I feel like generally Viktor's story was pretty muted and small in season 1 in the later acts.

He was vaguely against hextech, he was upset about Skye. Okay, how does this relate to what he's feeling now. I'm trying to picture some things that would have "solved" the scene to me. Not in "I wanted an emotional shippy scene", but in "I wanted to understand why Viktor is doing the things he's doing".

If we had a scene of encased Viktor from his POV that makes it clear that he hears and understands everything that is going on around him and he's not happy with somethign Mel or Jayce are saying.

Or maybe the Void was whispering to him. Or if the Void was giving him visions of Skye and void!Skye is telling him what to do.

I think if we boil it down, the big shift of Viktor leaving is not really "zomg, Viktor is breaking up with Jayce", but it's more that when Jayce shows Viktor the notes he made, he probably expected Viktor to go back to studying them.

And studying stuff was a bit personality trait of Viktor's in season 1, so him turning his back on "this should be investigated" is a big shift.

That shift could have been explained by a more emotional reaction. If Viktor had blown up at him and gone basically "you fool, you keep trying to do the thing that brought us into this mess".

I think that's the big shift. That

1.) Viktor is turning his back on science/Piltover 2.) Viktor doesn't think Jayce can be persuaded

Now that isn't really that out of the ordinary. Viktor did his hextech experiments without letting Jayce into it and he also kept the whole Skye thing from him.

So, is there a reason to why Viktor is going to the Undercity?

Ie: I don't trust Piltover anymore, I tried to fix things here and everything to worse anyway, it's not worth it anymore.

or: More science is wrong, it made everything worse, we should be doing faith now.

or: I got lost in sciencing for Piltover and instead I should be with the people who suffer the most. My perspective was wrong.

But IF there is reason to it Viktor doing what he does, the assumption would be that he would express this in his conversation with Jayce more clearly. Either to try to convince Jayce or just to let the audience know.

If his reason is important enough for him to leave, then it should be important enough to state it in an argument. If Jayce matters to him then he should have made an effort to argue his point to Jayce and see if he can be persuaded.

But that's not what happened. Viktor just says their paths diverged. So from an audience point of view, what is that supposed to mean.

Jayce first distanced himself from Viktor by seeking fame and politics. A story where Viktor things that Jayce has been moving further and further away particularly with their disagreements over weaponizing hextech he's at a point where he can't be reasoned with.

But didn't Viktor also distance himself by his secret hextech research? And we know he feels guilt over Skye. In a situation where two people are in the wrong, that would lead me to expect a more emotional argument. (a more muted argument makes more sense in a world where Viktor never did anything wrong and it was just "you betrayed me thrice [abandoned the lab for fame, moved towards weaponizing hextech, continued making hextech against my wishes, put me in the hextech to keep me alive when I didn't want that], I'm done now, you are beyond reaching").

The other approach is that there is no good, logically arguable reason to why Viktor is acting like that. That he's having an impaired judgement, either because the Void/Hex is influencing him and directing him or supporessing his emotions, or because he's being depressed.

There's this theory that he's a paralllel to Jinx with the whole "I was supposed to die and now I'm aimless/kind of chaotic". The thing is that with Jinx we are more accustomed to associating her with mental problems. With Viktor this is new. If Viktor is acting highly unusual (unusual because the hextech is affecting his emotions or unusual because depression) then I would have expected Jayce as a friend to argue over that. Some "what's wrong with you, you aren't being yourself".

I admit, JayVik was low on the totem pole on stories that interested me in season 1 so it's possible I missed things.

As a viewer, I feel like I'm not sure what I'm supposed to get from this. What exactly Viktor's problem is and why walking around the undercity in a cloak if supposed to help with whatever his problem is.

Again, I can deal with "he's aimless, reeling, just like Jinx", but in that case I would have expected Jayce to bring that up in a "you are being weird and off".

In my longer reaction post I wrote that to me it feels like Jayce was kind of in all stories, so to me it didn't feel like he was that emotional over Viktor, because he sort of "did his job" in the Viktor storyline in that scene and then immediately moved to the next storyline with Heimer/Jayce.

Jayce feels like his mind is all over the place (again, having time to visit Caid and build her hextech weapons, squabbling with Heimer and Ekko). As a non shipper, to me it just felt like JayVik wasn't really that high on his priority list. To me it felt like him realizing stuff about The Arcane (including the mini reference of to his childhood) felt like his most important moment.

I guess that this could feed back into Viktor and Jayce if that makes Jayce go "oh, I was wrong when I said hextech wasn't that dangerous". But on the other hand, given the trajectory of the games I would expect Jayce to continue making dumb choices and/or keep being torn between different loyalties (ie still being pulled into Mel or Cait's stories).

Maybe Jayce's next step will be to think he can science his way out of the whole "The Arcane is pissed and/or poisoning everything" and that is the core of his folly?

Is my conclusion to be that Viktor realized that and that's why he went away. But if the conclusion is "hextech is bad and we were wrong to underestimate it", then how exactly is Viktor's "I'll become part hextech and infect other people with it" any better?

I guess the conclusion could be "once they were idealist and then both of them made terrible, boneheaded choices". But as a viewer I have trouble liking this story the summary of it is that they are both being dumb.

Now in theory we could say we have this in Cait and Vi as well. Cait sliding off into violence and superstition, Vi becoming self destructive in the fighting pits. But in that story the show actually takes it time and botheres to give scenes to try to explain the emotion beats of Cait's slide into doing bad/dumb/counterproductive shit.

I just don't see this same quality there with the choices Viktor makes leaving me at "why should I care if they do weird stuff". Very "We got "idealistic person slides into doing things that are a very bad idea" at home".

I didn't like this scene much because I felt it left me unclear about what Viktor's motivations are. And if the motivation was supposed to be "the hextech is influencing him", then I would have liked to see a "what's going on with you" from Jayce, not as a shippy thing, but purely as a signal to the audience thing that still makes sense for the relationships these characters have.

And don't get me started, yeah, these characters live in a world of magic, but Jayce still took it exceptionally well that his friend is now 90% hexcore. Like wouldn't "you aren't being yourself" be kind of the logical first step?

I guess maybe to everybody it's obvious that Viktor going Jesus sheppard is a terrible ominous idea, but I genuinely feel unclear what I'm supposed to get from it. Is "The Arcane" piloting Viktor because it has a plan to fix itself and so it's sending him to the undercity to take people over? Did it divorce Viktor from his emotions and it's causing him to make odd choices based on his old interests? I don't even mind that we don't have the answers yet, but shouldn't then the tone of those scenes be more ominous in a trying to guide us to ask these questions? I dunno, the vibe of the whole story feels off to me, putting it on the bottom pile of stuff I liked or cared about in Act 1.

I think there's still potential for irony or tragedy there (maybe Jayce comes to the conclusion The Arcane is bad just as Viktor comes to the conclusion no it's great and I should put it in everybody putting them again on different sides, or maybe Jayce will just stubbornly dig himself deeper trying to science his way out). Or Jayce will just keep being in different storylines and leave that storyline keep feeling undercooked to me.

im going to say something slightly mean which is that i think there is an imagined aspect of jayce and viktor's relationship that the audience is projecting onto them that actually is not supported by the text itself and that imagined facet is the reason people think their parting is rushed more than the issues with the actual show's pacing 💀

like i do think some of what jayce actually SAYS in that scene feels kind of clunky and unearned and sorta tropey, not because of who jayce is, but because it feels like they had to cut some interstitial tissue for the sake of time constraints, but even if they hadn't had to i cannot fathom that scene being extended more than like....a minute. like what kind of argument are they going to have that wasn't the one that actually transpired?

i think it's pointed that viktor is weirdly emotionally stunted and icy after he was such an impassioned person in s1 and he said everything there was to say anyway, just with a colder affect. i guess jayce could have said "hey viktor wait" like. one more time lol but in general if you take everything we have presented by the text on its face their immediate falling out could never have been that long a conversation because there isn't actually that much to argue about. jayce did what he thought was right and what is the normal human thing to do (broke his promise to save his friend that he loves and cares about) and viktor did not want him to do that. which is literally what they said to each other. very directly.

also it's like...supposed to be cold and sad. i don't think viktor is going to be the sole big bad of the show but i do think that the whole point of what we've seen so far in act i is that the arcane is inhuman and strange and kind of hard to understand and viktor has been partly absorbed into that and jayce is still very very human and full of all his hopes and ideals and therefore not able to grasp the arcane's true nature yet. a like. screaming lover's spat or whatever was not going to happen given the narrative positions that these two characters occupy. it doesn't even happen really between the two characters who are actually lovers — cait and vi have an somewhat equivalently long (so pretty short) moment of disagreement before cait hits vi in the stomach and leaves. anything else would have felt like fanfictiony and cheap imo

[shaykai]

I went through some of your older posts bc I'm obsessed w your art style and I noticed you referenced Gortash ripping out pages of books that Vatil reads once or twice. I'm so curious what's up with that? Does he do it for petty reasons lol?

(The picture isn't related to this, its just an interesting thing I stumbled upon a minute ago)

It is entirely possible that I'm making this up, but I swear in one of the previous patches, Gortash had a smutty book in his room that had most of the plot-related pages torn out (which in hindsight ties in nicely to the whole "babygurl doesn't have time" thing lololol)

Anyways, whether I made that up or not, it stuck with me sdasdsa- I don't think he does it intentionally to piss Vat'il off, but he also doesn't stop when Vat tells him to- and honestly wouldn't be surprised if he starts doing it on purpose specifically to make him upset

Also! Thank you sdhklasdjkas it's so lovely to hear that you like my art style!! <3