#I'll try working on some of my assignements
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From pressured to driven Part 2
What happens when you feel pressured to do something you never thought you'd do?
Especially if 4 serial killers are the ones pressuring you.
Slight ronin x reader
| spoilers for Killer chat!!! This is part two of "From pressured to driven". As always, my writing sucks so its probably Ooc. I have no idea if i want to continue with more parts, but hey who knows.
TW: Mention of murder, going insane, light gore, SA?(forced kissing)
PSA: I don't support neither am i trying to glorify/Normalize the words mentioned above. SA should be taken serious and it is not meant to be joked around.
Part 1:
You were walking around, searching for any "victims" to kill whilst trying not to freak out by the amount of corpses were in the alley. Damm, you knew Ronin liked going on killing sprees, but this much? If you counted every corpse you have walked past, it would be already above the 20. It didn't feel right, seeing all those unfortunate souls all on the ground, but you also couldn't help continue searching because before you know you are one going to become one of them if they find out.
*Ding!*
A notification?
Dear Reader,
I heard that you were writing a book, which is pretty interesting so my congratulations for that one.
moving on, one of our best reporters, Greg, has unfortunately resigned.
So my question to you is if you are able to make five new articles before the clock hits midnight. I expect at least two articles, but my apologies if this has come to you late, but if you are able to do it, i will try my best to reduce the amount of work you already have.
I wish you the best of luck on this.
Kind regards
Your boss.
You have to be serious. Five whole articles?
Not only did you have to make five new articles, you have to find a way to pretend that you killed a person. Not only that, it was 19:21.
19:21...
Fuck.
You have 4 hours and 30 minutes before midnight. You have to find a solution, and quick. Fuck, maybe you do want to kill someone, and with someone you mean your boss or either Greg.
Greg...
Always him, the 'best' reporter in the company. Total bullshit, he was average, a total pervert even. But the fact he resigned and that you had to chase after his bullshit!?
You felt anger raising up, adrenaline rushing through your veins, the amount of stress and anger that was mixed in your body was insufferable, that if you went to a therapist, they would either send you to a mental hospital or diagnose you with whatever mental disorder is popular.
*Ding!*
Another notification..?
@BestGregg: Hey Reader! Sorry for resigning so early and sudden but i got offered a wayy better job, and i couldn't pass up on that offer. Btw make sure to finish those assignments lol and because i'm resigning, how 'bout we meet up? I mean ur kinda chill and its gonna be fun. So what do you think?
Seriously? A meet up? Who does he think he is? My dad???
@SerialMC: Uhh..
sure i guess. Can we meet up here? *Insert Purgatory location*, i'll wait for u there, I'm here with some friends but i'm sure they don't mind.
@BestGregg: Sweet, i'll be there in 10 minutes, be prepared to have the best night of ur life ;)
Not only is he a total loser, he's a total pervert too. You continued walking, your mind just being full of total bullshit right now. First, your serial killer friends want you to kill somebody, second your stupid boss wants you to write 5 articles, and third your perverted ex-coworker wants to hangout and is going to try to hit on you.
Life's been going shit these weeks, you got hit with an inspiration block which means no more idea's for your next book. You've been trying to find out on how to tell the server that you're not actually a serial killer (What will probably never happen) and now this.
You gripped the knife that you previously found tighter, resisting the urge to even throw it. You can't kill anyone, you don't want to kill anyone, but in your state, it seemed like the only solution left.
"EYY READER, WHERE ARE YOU!?"
"I have a feeling they left"
"No way, they wouldn't leave us, their friends behind, i know them."
"Hah, So they're not as tough as they seem huh?"
"Hey! Don't say that, people like us just have our own struggles. Just let us be you edgeboy"
Fuck fuck fuck.
They were searching for you, and you haven't done anything at all, and looking at the time, that stupid greg should be somewhere here now.
How the fuck did you end up in this position!? Seriously, this would've been some fun hanging out day, but it always ends up in trouble. You just wished you could bury yourself somewhere.
"Yooo Reader it's me Greg!"
How he greeted himself scared the shit out of you, you hid the knife somewhere in your jacket, so he wouldn't notice. It was pretty dark out here, but from the looks of it and how he talked seemed like he had a bit to drink.
"Oh hey.. Greg."
"Whats up with the sad face reader? Are you not happy to see me?"
"No it's just. Work and stuff.. Gotta write 5 articles.. Ha ha.."
"Awh damn, sorry reader. Didn't know i was that important to the company, i mean, being the best reporter in the department? Hell yeah!"
He continued talking about how cool, and important he was that you didn't notice that you were basically backing up into a corner because of how much he talked.
"Ohh yeah, I think you need to confess something, reader."
"Confess.. What?"
He got closer to you, basically trapping you in that corner that you went to yourself. You said you wanted to bury yourself somewhere? Guess that place is here. He leaned into your face, you could feel his intoxicated breath, it reeked of alcohol and whatever cocktails he was drinking, but he didn't seem to go away.
"Don't act stupid, i know how you've been looking at me, you like me, don't you?"
Like. Him?
You hated that man. First, he got with all your female coworkers, he's the so-called "best reporter", he acts like a total asshole, pervert, and his looks are like the devil himself tried making the ugliest person that has ever existed. Not only that, but he has so much controversy, but of course, your boss ignores it because he was a good worker.
"I don't understand? I don't like you?
"Don't be shy, i know what you want"
Before you knew it, he slammed his lips into yours, forcefully kissing you as he held you by the waist. You yelped in disgust, tears starting to form in your eyes. You hated it, you couldn't move, you felt helpless. After he was done kissing you, he looked at you with a grin and you looked terrified.
"Look, you enjoyed that didn't ya? C'monn, i know ya want more"
"And don't worry, i won't go rough on you"
Oh.
Is this your end?
No.
It is not.
You can change
Maybe they will say you became corrupted.
But was it really, if it originated from fear?
You slowly gripped the knife you hid in your jacket, and held it tight in your hand.
"You know what i want..."
You put your free hand on his chest, he leaned in, looking like he wanted to kiss you, but before you could do that, you plunged that knife right into his chest.
He screamed, but you continued. You kept stabbing him near his heart, he tried pushing you off of himself, but you were too determined to finish him. After everything he did, all you wanted to do is never see him again.
Countless screams were forming in his throat, it sounded so god awfull, but that is why it was perfect. That's what stupid, perverted good for nothing deserve. A deep plunge in the heart. At this point, you were sure the rest could've heard the screams and were probably heading your way, but you didn't care about that. For now.
You pushed his body to the ground, before gripping two hands on the handle of the knife, and plunged even harder into his chest. You dragged the knife from his chest to his intestines, before stabbing him again for countless times. You felt anger and stress slowly leave, the crimson staining you. You felt.. Weird. You did feel guilty, yes but after all he did. He deserved it. You ripped out the knife, before hearing some voices behind you.
"Oh my, So Darlin' did end up killin someone huh? And even stabbing the intestines? How gruesome, i like that"
You turned around, hearing the voices of your friends
"Oh shit... Who that guy was, he was definitely hated by them.. Look at the stab marks holy shit, reader went batshit and im here for it"
"Oh.. My, reader, how are you feeling? I don't think that guy was some ordinary guy guys.."
"... The sight is gruesome"
You laughed, you kept laughing before finally stabbing the knife into his skull. He was finally gone.
".. That guy was my ex coworker. He kept stressing me out, making flirty moves, and.. Ended up forcefully kissing me."
Angel looked at you with a mix of reassurance and a look of "I've been there", and she slowly approached you along with Misaki. Meanwhile Misaki was a bit in denial, not because of the fact that you killed him, but because what he did to you. V was crossing his arms and shaking his head, while Ronin was heading towards the guy.
".. What you did there, reader.. I, oddly relate to it. Weird creepy perverted men hitting on you while you weren't doing anything? Killing him was a good choice, reader."
Angel was quite literally an angel. She is nice, she is understanding and she can relate to anyone. You're great full you have her as a friend.
Misaki was giving you constant back pats, trying to comfort you from that guy. You noticed that she was trying to lighten the mood.
"Hey so.. That guy was a total creep, and what you did was totally valid- I mean as a pervert, what did he expect?"
You forced a laugh out of that one, it was funny but for the sake of Misaki, you cracked a laugh so that she wouldn't suspect anything. But you know she meant good, if it was up to her, she would've killed the guy in a second.
V was looking at you and the guy, sighing before muttering out a sentence.
"You finished him, not for fun or for entertainment.. But for your safety and because of fear. Not bad at all."
His words shock you, because you didn't expect him to say that at all. You didn't really speak to him, and when you did, he was always on some "I will find out who you are" shit. Guess V is able to feel some sympathy after all.
You didn't even notice the fact that Ronin was ripping apart that guy's chest to grab his heart, you were starting to hear some weird- crack and bone breaking noises, that you couldn't help but look backwards at the body to find Ronin trying to obtain the guys heart.
Eventually, Ronin had the heart in his hand, and looked at you with a smile
"Darlin', Would ya mind giving me his aorta? And it's that ugly guy's heart, which makes it 10x better. C'monn, do it for the poor little devil."
He looked at you, with that stupid little smile from the first time you kissed, the moment you began rotting and corrupting. You laughed, and took the heart. Since Ronin started talking about the Aorta that much, you decided to google search a bit just to know where it was for a moment like this (which you never actually expected to happen)
You carefully ripped some of the other pieces of the heart, accidentally deattaching the superior vena cava and some artery, but eventually you managed to remove the aorta, and handed it to Ronin.
"To my dearest devil, the one who corrupted me."
Angel looked at Ronin with a look of "What the actual fuck ronin." and he just laughed. You smiled and He gave you a hair ruffle and put the aorta in some weird place in his bag. Gross, but hey, he can do whatever he wants.
You looked at your clothes, It was basically stained red now, but your face, hands and pants were a total mess. You sighed, before thinking of a way on how to get home without getting the police after you.
" You look like a complete fuckin mess. Not that i'm complaining, but you probably are. How 'bout i give you a ride to my house, and stay there?"
You wanted to agree, you didn't mind the idea, but you wondered about the others, what about them? It would be quite rude to leave them here.
Before you could say anything, Misaki overheard the convo and made an idea.
"YOO IS THAT A SLEEPOVER I HEAR!?"
".. I'm not really fond of sleepovers."
"Maybe we could? I mean it is the best way to end the hangout"
". Fuck no, i don't have enough space for five people. And besides, i don't think anyone can survive the devils little hideout"
"Stop being edgy for once ronin, your living room is big enough"
".. Wow, guess i have no choice do i?"
"A sleepover it is, then."
You decided to take a photo of the body, and you were planning on sending it in the server. To have some more 'evidence' that you killed someone. Would your old self be proud of you? Absolutely not, but people change. You changed by being rotten and corrupted, and you wouldn't want it any other way.
weird..
You have this odd feeling that doesn't go away
It feels like a craving.
More killing, it screams your name.
You feel like killing more people.
Their agony, your pleasure.
Time to show them what you have become.
#killer chat#ronin killer chat#ronin beaufort#angel killer chat#misaki killer chat#v killer chat#killer chat misaki#killer chat ronin#killer chat angel#killer chat vn#visual novel#fiction#fanfic#part 2
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how to animate jiggle physics in live2D? asking for a friend
I might not be the best for explaining very well, or have it down completely well, but i'll go ahead and try For rigging jiggle physics onto my models, I use four separate parameters, each with their own warp deformer (not pictured, four total nested warp deformers for X1, X2, Y1, Y2) X1 - Side to side swing X2 - Swing Angle* Y1 - Vertical Bounce Y2 - Squish and separation *This version of x2 is something different i've tried for this model base, another version i used in the past is more of a "jiggle" where you have the top and bottom of the breasts moving in opposite directions The actual position is handled by the overall Body X/Body Y/Body Z parameters, so the physics are completely separate from that.
youtube
As far as the physics settings, I just kinda play with what works. Keeping the default values makes it a bit too bouncy/jiggly to an unrealistic degree I'll be honest I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing besides playing around and seeing what looks good, but from what i understand: Duration affects how long the physics take to resolve Shaking influence affects how long after movement the physics "shake" Reaction time affects how fast the physics will resolve? Overall Accel affects how fast the physics start up? I'm not very smart and someone can correct me on what they actually do but thats what they feel like they do, its just very trial and error for me until I get something I like
And I assign them to the input values of: X - Body X (Pos) Body Z (angle) Y - Body Y (Pos) Body Z (Angle)
youtube
Iunno if this is very helpful, i tried recording some stuff to show maybe a bit better but, iunno.
I'm not all that great at teaching anything, but I hope it helps a little.
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So damned tired already and its not even noon yet smh...
#personal#vent#not me watching old orchestral flash moba on yt and crying about it#while eating my breakfast and drinking my morning coffee#I am indeed having A DayTM#no idea wtf is going on#but seeing as I have a week and half lect of finals and A Ton to do and study#and that my period is being a super late Bish#Im making an educated guess my stress is through the roof and my hormones are our of whack#and my body decided today is the day its going to take it out on me 🙃#I guess I just#I dunno loiter around for now#maybe do the shopping I didnt have the bandwidth to deal with for the past weeks#work on something crafty to take my mind off other things#and if it calms down later in the day and my brain decides to brain again#I'll try working on some of my assignements#going into this last week of my finals crunch is kicking my ass#but at the same time#my brain is kinda whatever why care?#a weird dichotomy going on in my brain rn ngl#we'll see where I land in a couple of hours#my anxiety might still skyrocket yet and give me the freenzies so#hopefully this depressed mood will even out in a bit and I can get back to my uni work from hell
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Alnst doodles that i did instead of passing my classes
#alien stage#alnst#alnst ivan#alnst till#alnst sua#alnst luka#ivantill#fanart#round 6 released while i was toiling away miserably at uni and i spent so much time wanting to draw them#but i had to class work which sucks#so i kept saying “well as long as it's just a small drawing” i'll do some more detailed stuff after this semester#and then i finished the semester and remembered that i can't draw full body poses so the stuff i was gonna draw ended up not being drawn#ya know what? imma complain about uni here lol#when ya give students an assignment it's ideal to have the task accurately outlined on the sheet. idk.#maybe the actual task shouldn't be something different that you'll casually mention in a lecture instead of the actual task sheet.#anyway the first 3 pics are me trying a different shading style after a class made me sick of my usual style#i miss ivan alnst RIP bro
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Good afternoon gamers!!! I miss F.inal F.antasy. I miss it a lot-
#pan rambles#I haven't played some in a hot minute and I'm crumbling-afibsfjsndi#I miss it a lot...#So much I've been struggling to get the motivation to continue Y.akuza 0-afisbkfsn#Not that I even have the time to play bc of assignments#But still#I miss it!!!#Maybe I'll try to play some Octopath in ky free time#I just missed my turned based battles#It's also why I think I'll prefer I.chiban's games over Kiryu (Minus the crush)#I love hitting things by pressing random buttons!! It Can be real satisfying! But Gameplay Wise. Kiryu isn't my favorite to play as-#It's not as fun for me compared to other games-ajfnsjdsn#Which is a shame bc story wise? I'm enjoying it!#It's just gameplay that kinda isn't my favorite sometimes#Anyways back to assignments! I'll work real hard so I can find the time to play Octopath!#I'll always prefer anime men over realistic looking men (The aro kicks in harder sometimes when they look realistic)
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it's hackathon week next week and there are so many things i need to do (passport renewal, accommodation stuff, dental appointments, packing for flight, chores, etc), so i apologize if i'm kind of inactive or off in this blog or discord!!
#rin rambles#cw vent#tw vent#i'm ngl i'm starting to stress out haha#eating is such a pain sometimes i wish they invent a pill you can just take and it'll give you all the exact nutrients you need ugh#i keep forgetting to have dinner for the past 4 days n haven't had the energy to wash my hair for 3 days now#but it's fine we good we're chugging on#i'll hopefully have some time to breathe on the weekend since monday is a ph#but my god i'm dreading the hackathon sm haha#mostly bc i have never talked to the people assigned into the team with me AND everyone is in US timezone#so i have to stay up late from night to morning to collab with them#and i really don't like that haha but what can you do when it's work :))))#and then there's the new landlady's shenanigans...... i dont want to think about it.............#lets try not to get your paranoia make you break down again meirin#anyway#that got venty real fast i better put a warning#sorry for the negativity lately i'm just so tired#venty............. venti......... hey guys what do you call it when venti vents- /smacked#there now that wasnt all negative hahah
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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I would like for life to stop hurting for a little while. Maybe. Pretty please.
#speculation nation#this sounds emo but im just in literal pain right now#geeze what a week this week has been. but i got through it.#thinking ahead... hm. i need to go back over my school stuff. i dont remember any huge deadlines due next week#and that cant be right. theres always Something.#oh right i do have an assignment due. tho it's not a huge one.#i have a project due the week after next week that i'll need to work on. but itll be mostly class time for that.#got another assignment for my persuasion project due... i think the week after next? wont be too hard tho.#and i need to really get to work on reading my books for gender communication. it's almost the end of october.#soooooo somehow i DONT have any huge deadlines this coming week. thats so strange and abnormal.#if i was responsible id work on my reading over the weekend. or do more cleaning.#but i'll be fucking honest kitten im at the end of my fucking rope#probably the sleep deprivation and hellish 9.5 day of bodily torture. i hurt.#i will feel more hopeful and happy go lucky later.#i keep trying to point at all the nice clean apartment to cheer myself up but i am just like. this is my torture chamber. no happy.#i will grab some food and then play the sims 2. and then i will feel better.
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okay let me think about it. what have i done today. i've done /some/ things today
#sent an email opened multiple and responded to two others#contacted my psychiatrist and my psychologist (the latter for a letter i req for uni)#i went through some of my notes for my assignment#i ate. noting that down because when im overwhelmed and feeling low like this i sometimes neglect to#those are all useful important things that needed to be done. i did useful necessary things today. maybe i will work on my assignment soon#i need to break out of whatever state im in but once i do i can try and get some work done. and even if i dont finish the assignment i will#have done some part of it by the due date#and i'll be able to submit that#it's something. it's something#it's something.
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Watch me catch up with 4 semesters material
#biochemistry is pretty interesting but im just on Cell Biology 🧫 so i guess the hard stuff is further down the road#random#i have applied for study centre change to another college bcs the one i chose before didn't had biochem lab or faculty so like why was it an#option#but i applied for the change and it will be effective within a week im sure#until then i have to prepare ALL the damn assignments and ask to cover the lab work of all 4 sems its gonna be tough but so am i#i am out of assignment papers and do not have the guts to ask my father to get me some bcs 1. he's busy 2. the market is far away#3. why didnt i tell him to bring some papers from office on Friday#but I'll still try and ask him to see what he says#if i don't have assignment papers I'll just Study and understand concepts (hell it takes so much time but theyre easy and fun)#the reason its taking longer to understand stuff is because its the first time im hearing any of that#I'll keep random posting lmfao and subject you to the insanity i go thru
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🍪🥛
#out of sight out of mind....#im not gonna check his blogs every day from here on out#and i hid/archived our chat so i dont have to see it when i open the messaging app#i do have some kind of 'fomo' lol bc i dont wanna miss out on any potential glimpse into his mind or days#esp now when he doesnt tell me anything anymore. idk anything abt what goes on with him#but .. i am allowing and letting him control my life#i obsessively check my phone and refresh his blogs ALL day#it's extremely unhealthy and pathetic and i know this#it's just hard to stop bc i genuinely... love him sm#plus he told me he wanted me for real so he made me not only dream of a life i thought wasnt possible for me#but also WANT it. i only want him and to live with him and be his. that's all i want but he just cut me off out of nowhere lol#and im still hung up on it... i dont want my boring reality. current nor future. i just want the reality where im with him which he made me#think was smth i could have one day soon.#but anyway. if his feelings changed that's how it is. it's not even his fault it's just how things work in life#even if i dont want to accept it i have to. i cant keep living in this limbo. i try to talk to him but he's a wall so that's a No.#so i cant let him control my life and waste away all my days on him#i need to stop checking his blogs and our chat. that's the first step#im still gonna allow myself to think of him and daydream and fantasize. but that will have to stop soon too#then i have to focus on doing my assignments and read books and go to the gym#things that will help me get realistically where i want in my current reality#i want to finish highschool and then apply for a preschool or library program#and hopefully the plan is to get a student housing apartment so i can move out finally and live on my own and study#then when i finish i'll look for a job as either of those things. and a place to live (which is super fkn hard in these modern chaos times)#even if i have to live my life all alone... i want to be as comfortable as i can at least#i can live in my own row house and have pets and work and read and play games and watch shows#and see and talk to my mom#i mean hopefullyyyy i'll be able to try to make at least some shallow connections so i have ppl to hang out with#i can always hope to meet someone who'll fall in love with me but im not counting on it#ugh.. bc as it is now#i dont do ANYTHING but be on my phone
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did a quiz AND an exam today. both for math. Not to brag
#text#now i just gottaaaa figure out what to do for my math class . Which is show up basically#not this coming monday but the next one. cuz theres an Exam#and its inperson and not online which SUCKSSSS#ughghhh okay. tmrw i'll do this week's psych work which will be easy. i'll do that after i see my friends#sunday is a break day i need a break day. and monday i'll try and do some of the older psych assignments#i got this. i literally got htis
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i HATE that i have to record a voiceover for this film assignment i HATE IT . i would much rather just write an essay but nooooooooo apparently not
#anyway if i'd planned it out better it would've been fine . but i didn't . so there we go#basically my plan is to get into uni v early tomorrow and then 1) write out what i'm going to say in this assignment bc they need the#transcript as well#2) skim through these readings for my history class + post the correlated discussion post#3) attend my lecture#4) find somewhere quiet to try and record this voiceover between my lecture + work#5) work <3#6) edit this voiceover into the video file + submit the assignment#i do have until friday night but i have classes all friday and then work and i'd rather be doing more interesting things than#recording voiceovers on a friday night icl...............#if i get this assignment submitted by tomorrow night then on friday i can do my reading for my film class + catch up on some history readin#and then i'll be caught up with everything !#so it'll be fine bc i do have to submit this by friday night one way or another which rly does mean tomorrow night or friday morning#at LATEST and then if i do this reading.... my weekend will be so chill
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I love when I'm actually trying to submit an assignment for once and moodle won't fucking load
#i got a weird error message like 'undefined' and the whole page is just grayed out and supposedly still loading#tried reloading the tab and it just wouldn't work. didn't even get a login screen#cleared cache; got a login screen but then got the same error and site refused to load#like.... i'm genuinely trying to submit my work lol. this is so funny#it loads fine on my phone but my assignment isn't on my phone and i don't think i can get it there#or can i? i mean i guess i can. it's just an html file. but submitting it from my phone sounds like a process i don't have the energy for#i'll just try again tomorrow. if i can't get onto moodle tomorrow i'm fucked anyway because i have to do a quiz tomorrow#i'm also hoping to get my other assignment submitted tomorrow. the assignment that's still only 10% done. that assignment.#i could work on that thing right know but i know i'll get annoyed and ragequit when i run into problems; so what i might do INSTEAD#is anticipate the problems i'm probably going to have (i.e. resizing the carousel; moving the carousel; embedding the youtube video; moving#the youtube video; setting an accordion as a sidebar; doing anything whatsoever with the accordion-sidebar; placing the info where i want)#and do some reading on how to do those things and then bookmarking the resources so i can read them again#because i have all the memory of a goldfish when it comes to this stuff#i could also run through the git tutorial so i don't have to do it on thursday while exhausted from physio and pilates#idk though. if it seems like it's going to be long i will absolutely not be doing that right now#look i finally fixed my portfolio today and figured out how to do a gradient. i don't want to do very much#personal
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I still wonder about the people who double down on communism... and not even like me when I was younger where I got (not the full extent, but got) that the soviet union and such were awful, but just thought that maybe with less terrible people at the helm it could work (later realizing that these kind of things always have power hungry people rise to the top) Anyway, no I just don't get the "well see, you've admitted your great grandpa owned a chicken, sounds like he deserved to die" people... like the fuck is there even to gain here about being smug while dying on a particularly stupid hill?
#I'm not even gonna try and define what I am with this stuff#cause see; everyone's decided that these terms have super solid cut and dry definitions#when it's like man... people obviously use the same terms to describe wildly different things#you're just being pig headed if you don't accept that and work off what they're saying rather than latching onto a single word#but pig headed they be; so no tossing out single words to latch on to#So what I think is that some level of welfare is both good and also required#and that currency is one of the more effective ways to distribute resources and labor without a whole lot of headache#I want social programs; and if your no details given ask me if I want more or less I'm gonna lean towards more#because apart from the humanitarian point of view; from and economic point of view I think poor people spend money cause they need to#so I think giving benefits; giving health insurance; giving a universal basic income#all end up being good ways to slush money through the system; because things like hospitals benefit from steady use#you want people to have access to them; because that's how they continue to operate#and I think that theft or not taxes are a fact; and I'd rather they go to shit like that#(and I still say senators and the house should only have the healthcare and pay they'd normally qualify for)#(see how long medicaid for all takes to pass if they don't get special insurance; ya dig?)#so that's my point of view; businesses are good; regulation is good; welfare is good; government accountability and transparency are good#I have some terms I could mash together to kinda describe it; but I won't cause that's a fool's errand#so you assign whatever term you want for that in your head; I ain't naming it#but tankies are dumb as shit; I'll say that much; just kinda cruel for the sake of getting a chance to be the one being cruel
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#okay#i need to get my mindset back to uni otherwise it's gonna be very hard for me to keep up with everything#so i'm gonna try to indulge myself with some fanfic i still have left to read#from that list i made in september with like 50 fics#now i have 15 to read CAN YOU BELIEVE?#so i have left aside some to read throughout this week#and after that i'll use my free time for uni stuff#bc apparently i'll start my new working hours this week#so i need to find how to balance having uni assignments and working 8 hours a day :D#but i still need to feel like i have control over my free time to enjoy myself yk?#i'm finishing watching spn tomorrow#gilmore girls is also on the way to finishing#soon i'll be running out of things that i used to get my mind off my responsibilities#i already traced my schedule with the due dates i have for assignments#so it's gonna be a rough two months#gotta get the most of my free time while i still can#personal x
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