#my brain is kinda whatever why care?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
So damned tired already and its not even noon yet smh...
#personal#vent#not me watching old orchestral flash moba on yt and crying about it#while eating my breakfast and drinking my morning coffee#I am indeed having A DayTM#no idea wtf is going on#but seeing as I have a week and half lect of finals and A Ton to do and study#and that my period is being a super late Bish#Im making an educated guess my stress is through the roof and my hormones are our of whack#and my body decided today is the day its going to take it out on me 🙃#I guess I just#I dunno loiter around for now#maybe do the shopping I didnt have the bandwidth to deal with for the past weeks#work on something crafty to take my mind off other things#and if it calms down later in the day and my brain decides to brain again#I'll try working on some of my assignements#going into this last week of my finals crunch is kicking my ass#but at the same time#my brain is kinda whatever why care?#a weird dichotomy going on in my brain rn ngl#we'll see where I land in a couple of hours#my anxiety might still skyrocket yet and give me the freenzies so#hopefully this depressed mood will even out in a bit and I can get back to my uni work from hell
1 note
·
View note
Note
Ngl, Viktor vaguely reminds me of Husk from Hazbin hotel. Both grumpy softies :]
On that note, have you heard of the series Helluva Boss :0 ? (It's free to watch on yt)
I don't know your exact tastes in media but the art in the show is incredible in my opinion and the story is cool.
Just wanted to know what my favourite artist though on it if you've ever heard of it. Anygay!
Love your stuff 💙. You keep doing you Cass and i wish you a good day!
I think Victor is more like Tai Lung from Kung Fu Panda. But you have a point.
Yeah, I watched Helluva Boss, but I can't say I liked it much. The animation is beautiful and the art style looks interesting. I can appreciate well-done work, but this show doesn't really make me feel anything. I could have turned on a random youtube video instead and been more interested.
#idk why#maybe because almost all characters in this show kinda terrible#not as a bad written character#i mean as a terrible person#they’re killing/cheating/lying/etc#which is logical bc it’s hell#but it’s also making me so desensitised to all those things#that when I supposed to worry or at least care about them#instead I’m just …eh. whatever#idk how to explain it better#maybe it’s all about my brain being built that way#I like stories that can show me trust and care and kindness#and then make me shake in fear when they threaten to take them away#you know what I mean?
387 notes
·
View notes
Text
hhhhidea...,,,, CUTE idea (kinda?) dust reading to phantom papyrus during night to lull him to sleep,,,, but really its just a way for him to pretend that everythings not really that shit (as if phantom paps isn't just dust's denial incarnate) and to help him NOT wake up because of a nightmare again or something
(and just because i can't resist now im imagining this with mtt. not that dust stopped reading to paps in place of killer and horror (because he wouldnt he simply wouldn't) but now the two join them for storytime. horror knocks out pretty damn fast and eventually dust falls asleep too after he makes sure that paps is satisfied with the amount he read and then killer's just left to sit there. maybe he tries to fall asleep maybe he doesn't,,,, maybe he picks up the book and continues reading but EITHERWAY,,,,,, this scene in my head so 💥💥💥😇😇😇)
#sweet soft mtt taking OVER triglycercule's brain has been invaded with them.........#horror probably sleeps like a rock man. dust is a very very very light sleeper. killer doesn't sleep at all and when he does#its just like that half asleep state. better than nothing tho....... those weeks of not sleeping probably leads to the most delicious naps#now in an ideal world killer learns to get a proper sleep schedule even if he can't feel his exhaustion#however in MY mtt dominated world killer doesn't fix his sleep habits and instead just takes a shitton of naps everywhere#they killerfied the house (made everything softer to sleep on) and killer always has 2 walking pillows to sleep on#sure he might not get 8 hours of sleep like during night. but he got that over the day so its ok TRUSY#this surely wont have any bad side effects but whatever its the mtt since when do they care about PROPER habits. if it works it works#ik i aaaaalways say hrkl wouldn't like phantom paps and find it weird but also now im considering#like. them being jealous of dust for always having kinda papyrus with him#like damn..... horror fucked up his brother permanently. he will never get the old paps back#and killer doesnt want to see his papyrus again because then he thinks hell just ruin everything again#but dust gets to talk and laugh and joke with his paps all the time!!! he got it better than them and thats just cus he hallucinates!!!! wt#i mean phantom paps isnt a 1:1 version of papyrus but hes close enough in my eyes#another idea....... horror (and maybe killer if he warms up to it) hanging out with dust JUST to talk to phantom paps#dust could easily just lie about what phantom paps says (although unless he had a reason he wouldnt risk upsetting paps like that methinks)#but theres something there. something something toxic mttpoly dynamic or whatever idc man. im in the mood for FLUFF!!!!!!!!!!#i think it would be funny if phantom paps says dusts deepest thoughts about hrkl. and then if he wants to say it dust has to filter it a LO#they could be sitting near killer and phantom paps would provide a detailed description of why killer has the mannerisms of a cat#and then dust would (hesitantly) agree to everything paps said (he was thinking it too) but when killer looks back at him#(he's been staring at killer for the past 10 minutes to see if what paps said was right) dust just says like. you remind me of a cat#OR BETTER YET he doesn't wanna admit that he thought of that so he just says paps says you remind him of a cat#insert horror version of this moment here. and killer quickly realizes that dust's just using papyrus as an excuse for why he says stuff#like that sometimes. horror just thinks dust's a weirdo freak (but unlike killer he takes the little observations to heart. loser)#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
~
#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase#'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that#[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week#and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me#but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it#and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me#i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no#but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like#300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3#ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good#'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
yknow the other day I had a dream that I got an anon ask accusing me of like. mistreating bby ??? for some reason ??? like it was soo lengthy like multiple paragraphs long and I was reading it like. huh?? you got all this from like a few posts I've made. what. weird as fuck dream, I would never treat her how this ask made it seem like I did. It's making me a lil self-conscious actually, fucking, anon hate from MY brain, god.
#this is such a weird brain being mean to me dream tho like it's usually so much worse than. that#my brain sending me fucking anon hate. that's kinda really funny. but augh!! awful sdjdsjsdj#i would never treat my laptop sillies with excessive force. idk why that comment stuck out to me so much but. i wouldn't#I'm constantly telling people off for being too rough to their laptops and just. tech in general#I take care of my tech as best as I can yknow :( damn...#objectum#bby is my laptop yeah if you're new or whatever djhsdhs#Android.txt
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
💭🌸
#my brain's normal!!!! i feel like crying and dying because...#i got a new necklace and bookmark (that is a little butterfly)#and want to show someone. like just.. it's silly and childish but i always feel a need 2 just show someone#and i feel so embarrassed and stupid bc since i dont have anyone#im always like no whatever doesnt matter just forget abt it#then i cave and go show my mom#i showed my mom the butterfly on a chain bookmark and she barely even looked at it#then was like 'mh.. those things r nice if u like that kinda stuff ig'#she always reacts like that and then i feel extra stupid#i really am just a dumb little kid begging for attention constantly like#idek why i have this need like!! nobody cares!! which is fine obvi i get it lol#but why do i get so sad and feel so lonelyyyy bc of this#:((((#wanna cry sksksk bc i feel so alone....... just bc i want to show someone what i got#i am a child i know idk !!!! grow upppp why .. this is litrlly such a dumb thing to be upset abt
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Battle Network being the only MM series that I didn’t get deeply invested into that I still haven’t played most of the games is so funny despite this year basically being it’s year of relevancy again because I do know facts off handily about it and one of the things that jumpscares me every time I remember it is something that wasn’t even in the games: It’s the fucking fact in the anime they said “let’s make this a Tokusatsu” in like the fourth game arc onward and this will never not throw me off despite being the mf who’s favorite mm series is literally ZX.
#meg text#mega man#mega man battle network#mega man exe#The funniest part is I never bothered to watch the anime but I still know this knowledge#I was that person who absorbed most/all mega man knowledge and got confused when others admitted they didn’t know Jack about BN#despite not even caring for it I was just like “how did you not get it shoved in your face#I still don’t know why this series doesn’t tickle my brain at all though#like I say classic and x are overrated-not in a dickish way tho-but there’s stuff I like in them#just not stuff to consider my favorite but still enjoy#BN I’m like “you seem neat ig” and don’t care further#but also I enjoyed starforce??? I’m weird#I appreciate just the fact the anime was cracked as shit even if I probably won’t watch with my attention span#also it’s not the perfect adaptation even if it expanded some stuff they also ruin things kinda#but I’ll take eh adaption to watch a few eps of then whatever the fuck happened with sf anime#also I’m happy BNLC did well but if we get bn7 I will sob because o know how the series ends and we DONTNEEDIT#I’m rambling in tags but my mega man autism activated
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
plot twist update on my gf catching my cold: turns out i caught her cold, and it’s definitely something a little worse than a cold but maybe not quite as severe as the flu
#continuing to test negative and i don’t wanna waste my time on a trip to urgent care bc i don’t /think/ it’s the flu idk#though it would put my silly little heart at ease if my gf went to urgent care and got checked out because she’s been sick longer than me#ugh#yearning hours honestly#also coughing and sniffling and itchy hours#kinda self obs#i forgot i have negative luck when it comes to getting sick LMAO#whatever#she’s worth it and i don’t feel that bad at all#which makes me wonder if maybe it is the flu and i just have immunity or something from having it last month ????#i made that up somebody is gonna tell me exactly why that is stupid and how it actually works#but at first my brain was like i can’t have the flu again like six weeks later right….#at least not the same strain#and she doesn’t usually get sick easily or this sick#while i’m the opposite but the poor baby is definitely worse off than me#rambling again see how i wander#who knows…who knows#realized i forgot to finish that thought up there ^ but by ‘immunity’ i mean like#maybe that’s why it’s not as severe lol little booster to the flu shot i got a month too late
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
I dont ever feel secure in my identity. I feel like i always need others to validate everything i do. otherwise i cant feel sure if im a good or worthy person. its the reason why i spend so much time trying to figure out how to word things. I act in a certain way in order to be validated or liked and I know that's not healthy cause it has hindered me in the past from speaking my mind so many times. Ive neglected communicating my needs and wants so many times in the past to just avoid conflict or fighting. I think im subconsciously scared of being attacked or bullied like i was in school. Where did this fear come from? I wish it would go away, it has a iron grip on my heart.
#personal vent#vent post#vent#social anxiety#I feel kinda embarassed for sharing such intense feelings out in the open like this#I know its tumblr but still it feels like even here i have to keep a clean image or else i'll be like attacked#Or whatever. I dont know why im so paranoid about this stuff. what the fuck is wrong with my brain#Like im sure nobody actually cares that much about me but it just feels that way#actually bpd#actually autistic
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I got too carried away with my next posts and I'm fighting my anxiety 🙃
#my brain is telling me nobody CARES about whatever this is bc it actually makes no sense#i haven't published this books yet so im kinda unsure if i post these edits or not#im nervous??? idk why#maybe i should learn that this is my blog and i can post wtv i want#but i really want to share my favorite arc with you guys#i hope you enjoy the small and simplified tale of this small family whom i love the most#nonsims#non sims
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
I cannot fathom the level of self importance some people must have to behave this way
#it’s more so selfishness lmao#idk I’m getting unnecessarily worked up about this but 6 months ago I kinda vanished off of everywhere and then I noticed she deleted some#messages#girl I would’ve responded later calm down gosh the messages aren’t going anywhere nor are they disappearing#dora daily#I think of all people who should be mad you’re the last one because tell me why you were so viscerally rude to me since the beginning and#played a massive part of the roaa situation by being complacent when oh ! I thought you’d side with your alleged best friend ME#girl you have no right to complain at all not to mention you take FOREVER when you have no excuse to reply back but when I’m struggling I#apparently have zero excuse ☠️ girl bye#not to mention the fact that when I was so frustrated with myself having these bad headaches and being so incapable of doing anything when#exams were so close all you had to say was what can I do#well bitch what could I have done when you were at hospital#I guarantee you I was the only one texting you 24:7 asking how you were#reassuring you that it’s okay to feel upset about being in the fucking hospital and you don’t need to have such toxic positivity all the tim#oh but when the other girl had freaking back pain from her period or something apparently that’s more of a concern#girl bye#not me who has chronic headaches and cannot even study and nothing sticking cause it’s that bad#oh but go ahead compare it to your chronic illnesss like yes it’s horrible and yes it impacts you a lot#but I don’t think it impacts your brain and memorisation capacity#not to mention how fucking jealous she is of everything like I can say oh god I was so stressed and girl she has not felt stress in her life#compared to what I go through yet she is jealous of the fact I can stress ? tf?#and when I say I almost passed out cause of exhaustion she doesn’t give a shit when I was being so serious#in truth I’ve come to realise nobody does seem to care at all lmao they all think I’m lying#why would I lie about that be so fucking fr rn#anyways this is why I simply don’t want to talk about my physical condition with anyone anymore because they’ll think I’m a liar anyways 🤷♀#not to mention the fact if you even knew me a little you’d understand that it’s so impossibly hard for me to feel comfortable enough to#complain to talk about me feeling sick or sad or whatever I only do it here cause no one follows me and no one will rlly see it at all#but even here I feel like my throat closes up and I can barely breathe when I do complain#so pls …#this one sided friendship thing is crazy cause girl how do I shake you off?
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i got like three different compliments from people today on my customer service and im not gonna lie I greatly enjoy feeling like im winning at Restaurant Host
#two from guests one from newly promoted manager#i find it kinda funny when I get props from people for squeezing their reservation in or changing it without complaint or just doing#whatever in order to get them seated/reserved/etc despite whatever circumstances come up just cause like#it comes off as caring customer service which isn’t totally Wrong or anything#but I’m not trying to go above and beyond or anything at all generally. in my brain its just like.#restaraunt tetris. autistic little game in my head where I try to make everyone fit into a floorplan and update things accordingly and take#on new problems to solve and so on#I wish it was busier more often so I could actually Do this more often and like. use my autistic powers like this#cause when it’s not busy I’ve Hardly got anything to do on this front and I either get painfully bored or start stealing other peoples jobs#im. half joking there#anyway excited for thanksgiving cause in addition to 1.5x holiday pay we also hav fucking 90 people booked in the span of three hours#which will be chaotic as hell but hehehehehehe NO BOREDOM FOR ME#now THAT’s restaraunt tetris. I keep looking at the floorplan for that day and just being baffled by it because it’s. a lot#anyway. idk why im journaling like this I guess I just don’t talk to people enough irl outside of work#kibumblabs
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state
#starlight personal#the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening#the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope#now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed#because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that#2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences#4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it#treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great#treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body#idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing#PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks#ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months#until my next appointment#which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps#I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides#also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is#also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough#this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering#but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly#which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose#(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it’s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own#I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient#and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to#like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here#so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here#I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly#make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
{ Ah yes, the "I'm suddenly remembering my ex-fiancé and miss him because us splitting up was my fault for being anxious about moving in together" feeling slapping me in the face at like... 10:39 PM is exactly what I need on top of all the natural sadness I feel about my daily life. Thank you, brain.
That aside, I hope that y'all had a good Thanksgiving or whatever it is that you celebrate where you're from or even just had a good day if you don't celebrate anything. }
#{ Life why do you hate me so much? }#{ Why do you feel the need to do things like this to me? }#{ All I wanna do is be able to write some drafts and asks. }#{ Is that too much for me to ask for? }#{ I've been sitting on drafts that I keep promising to answer for months. }#{ But my brain won't let me write anything. }#{ Trying my honest to god best out here and it just isn't cutting it. }#{ Also kinda sad that my friend said she'd visit me while she was in my city but never did. }#{ Especially since she's an online friend and I never get those kinds of chances due to the fact I'm broke. }#{ Hurray for poverty. :D *sarcasm* }#{ Anyway... as always I will try to do stuff but at this point it's better just to not expect anything from me. }#{ If you don't like these kinds of posts just... block me or whatever. I honestly don't care at this point. }#tw; negative#✠ [ ' ʙʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴏғғ sᴛᴇᴀᴍ. ' ] - ✡ ʀᴀɴᴛɪɴɢ/ᴠᴇɴᴛɪɴɢ ✡#✠ [ ' ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴅs ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ ᴅᴏᴏʀs. ' ] - ✡ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ✡
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
in a bad mood for multiple unrelated reasons :thumbsup:
#dooooooo i vent in the tags#yk what why shouldnt i#ok so. for one my executives have been dysfunctioning since monday and i think rn is the event horizon of 'oh my god if u dont work now'#and you know what ive been doing instead of working? watching a 24hr stream of armored core 6#so thats like. whatever#its the whole too depressed to do anything so you kinda vegetate which lowers ur energy even further and worsens your mood#but then a friend wanted to get my advice on like. relationship troubles hes having#and i just . was not able to connect at all. and it's like man sometimes im not even sure if i have emotions lmao#like i pride myself on Being In A Better Place Than I Was In Highschool#(like. im not considering jumping out the window every other morning)#but like. sometimes it feels like i just dont like#like other people have these rich experiences and deep loves and all this stuff and im never gonna get it#it'd be nice to be loved or be in a relationship but really like#my biggest fear is just. im in a relationship and something bad happens to my partner#and i realize i dont care#idk theres like a lot swirling in my brain#i just want to be like...#i think writing this out has actually made it worse lmao#god forbid if someones reading this please dont reach out to me abt it i do not want to talk abt it#no matter how much other people say they care abt me it never seems real anyways so like cool#god i was doing so well before going back to college and im stupid enough to actually fucking like school#i just like.#whatever#like being alive really hurts right now#i cant really put a bow on that
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
The problem with a lot of body horror for me is it's just gross without being compelling
Like yeah you had that person tear their leg open and pull muscle away from bone in a way that's very uncomfortable... but I don't care. Or a lot of Hostel style horror for me it's just kinda... yeah... grossing me out isn't some kinda win
Cause it's not that I don't like body horror, I love Dead Space for instance which... kinda the core pillar of that is body horror if we're honest
Could be a matter of that that kind of body horror is more fantastic making it easier to digest, I will advance that as a theory, but personally I kinda think that it's more that they do something actually interesting with it
Like if I wanted to I could probably see a really fucked up leg wound (and worse) in looking online about this shitty world
Can't really find dead bodies contorted into killing machines though
So I kinda feel like it's my problem with a lot of horror, of that it's horrible in a mundane way where as I'm looking for some unfathomable secret out of horror
So there's a difference between some stabbing a person in the eye cause they're just a shitty person, and doing it to try and create a replica of an alien artifact that gives unlimited energy but also drives people crazy and then turns their bodies into horrible monstrosities
One is just way more interesting to me
#also most of that shit looked stupid and goofy and like bad cgi#like yeah you managed to make some brutal looking stuff; congratz; I don't care about that#but the actual monster stuff you did just looked silly#bleh... glad I skipped my way through out of 10 kinda horror movie (ie almost every horror movie)#the only problem with Dead Space is that I can't play it cause ammo management stresses me the fuck out#you'd think it's because it's too scary#but no; it's cause it brings out my perfectionist where I need to make every shot hit perfectly#I don't do well with scarcity; too much in my own life#which means I don't do well with horror because by necessity things are scarce cause otherwise that's just a power fantasy#but also! it's hard for me to watch stuff like that cause I get bored real easily of watching people meander#also I don't want them talking#basically what I need to find is somebody that... let's be honest; that's a cinematic artist#knows how to collect everything with good pacing; knows how to win without making it too easy#this is my curse with Dead Space; in many ways it's one of my favorite bits of horror in the world#and yet I can hardly interact with it cause of how my brain is#maybe the real Dead Space was the dysfunctions we had along t he way#but nah... too much horror is screamy backrooms; not enough is MyHouse.wad (or whatever the Doom extension is)#which... is another thing I'll never play; but I got lucky and found a video that really nailed what I needed it to#which is funny cause I don't really enjoy anything else on the guy's channel; mostly cause he covers analog horror which...#I so want to like analog horror; but I never do; it always feels so bland#all of it has sparks of brilliance but then goes way too silly with it#horror is one of my favorite genre's; which is I guess why I hate all of it so much and I'm so so so so so so so picky#legit part of my problem is there's a very real extent to which I feel like 'if it doesn't drive me literally insane; what's the point?'#like; 'if I don't have a literal break with reality and become infested by madness from another world; is it even horror?'#which I gotta be honest; if it actually happened I wouldn't enjoy that much#I want some unknowable truth... horror makes me hungry for something I can't put my finger on#like a memory long since passed#but there's stuff I do end up liking and end up thinking is effective#mm tag so i can find things later
1 note
·
View note