#I’ve been really anxious all day

[themournwatcher]

“You could go anywhere,” Fenris said, leaning against the doorway; he swallowed the space like a shadow. “You could turn into one of those birds and fly away. Is that not the kind of freedom that being a mage gets you?”

“Maybe,” Jurian sighed. He watched the seagulls soar past the window of his bedroom and out to the sea. Dark skies revealed a storm heralded on their wings. “But it’s not really true. I could fly away, but I’d have to come back. There’s so much keeping me here, so much I have to do.”

Jurian whipped his head around to look at Fenris. “There’s so many people I owe; this life is like a debt I can’t pay off. I could leave. But could my soul come with me when it’s tethered to so many other people? And if it can, how much could I have claimed to love?”

Fenris appeared to consider this question but didn’t answer, not at first. Instead he swirled the bottle of wine in his hand as though it’s murky depths would reveal some hidden truth. “That sort of sentiment keeps you trapped.”

“I know it’s not a chain,” Jurian said; a mess of silk and brocade on the bed, he buried his head and hands between his knees. “But it might as well be. My heart is what damns me. I can’t look away—so what if I’m free? What about everyone else?”

Silence came from the doorway, and then a long sigh. “You cannot save everyone, Jurian.”

“But I can try,” Jurian murmured. “That’s why I stay. I want to save everyone I can. I could save them from what I couldn’t save myself from.”

“You would burn yourself out.”

“I would be free.”

“You will be dead. I would rather not have to carry your corpse to Hawke’s door. Have we not all lost enough?”

Jurian sighed, falling back against the messy sheets of his bed. He stared up at the cloudy night sky through the wisps of fabric that passed for curtains. “I would take you with me. If I left.”

Fenris paused with the bottle of wine half-raised to his lips. “I would ask no such thing of you, Jurian. I fear that I am not capable of changing shape, as you can, to fly away from here.”

“I said flight,” Jurian murmured. “I meant flee.”

“You said yourself that it would not rid you of your obligations.” Fenris sipped at the wine. Jurian had to have been drunker than him for this sort of talk. Fenris found that he wasn’t drunk enough for it, either.

“It wouldn’t. But if you said the word, I’d run. I’ve grown up running. I don’t know anything better.”

“And what if I asked you to stay?”

[exhaustedwerewolf]

christ. texted me boss I’d be in tomorrow and I’m feeling better. only for her to be like well your gp declared you unfit for work so hr won’t let you work. only for me to be like. okay I’ll see if I can get my gp to declare me fit for work in the morning I guess since it’s an afternoon/evening shift… only to start feeling unwell.

[shima-draws]

MANNNN my anxiety won’t QUIT. Send me some asks perhaps 🤲

[j-esbian]

thinking abt how much of my life i’ve lost to depression and i truly want to throw up

[alangdorf]

& btw I’ve lost about a week of my life to thinking about this egg. Hi

[rosicheeks]

😬

[marketa]

my thesis supervisor just told me he’s skeptical about the only part i actually thought i could use in the thesis…. man like i know it’s on me that i started too late to realize the topic is not rly doable but this actually just made my heart sink a little… i wanna change the topic so bad but 1) i feel like it’s too late for that and 2) my supervisor apparently strongly encourages us not to change our topics

[detentiontrack]

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[niallandtommo]

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[metalcorebarbie]

x

[lovenergy]

mutuals he said I should get used to him complimenting me

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[none-tadashi-left-hiro]

can you guys all please actually actually be so kind to each other and I mean it tangibly like stop being a coward about what you’ll lose cause it doesn’t fucking matter more than being kind and you know it just fucking do what you can we’ve already lost so much what is the fucking cost of being kind to you anymore. people are so fucking desensitized to their own bullshit they’re dealing with like they’re so casual and blaise and ignorant about things that even harm them directly like why not at least be kind about it why not at least deal with the bullshit that comes from being kind instead i am so sad abt this why do people have to make it so hard. like I get capitalism and colonialism and whatever plays into people being raised to be unkind but are we that fucking fallible like that really fucking sucks bro

[shatterthefragments]

Either I took the picture at the calmest time or the whitecaps don’t show very well on camera or both bc. It was WINDY!

But I got some ocean time before I had to start going for the meeting tonight :)

Something something windswept existence pushing and retreating/follow it from the waves.

[exopelagic]

sooooososososo tored

[rosicheeks]

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