#why is life so tucking hard i didn’t sign up for this

[niallandtommo]

.

[tonycries]

The Way You Kiss Me - G.S.

Synopsis. The four times Satoru tries really hard not to kiss you - his best friend’s pretty younger sister. And the one time he doesn’t.

Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! Suguru’s sister! reader, childhood enemies to lovers, PINING Satoru, like really really disgustingly down bad, creampíe, oral (fem receiving), pússytalking, needy JEALOUS! Satoru, running away from it, spítting, punching is Suguru’s love language, mentions of aIcohol, pet names, swearing.

Word count. 7.4k (That’s wild)

A/N. BOO! Surprise upload. This was so fun to write omg.

“You sure this is how the grown-ups get married?”

“Duh, I know everything.”

“Nuh uh, Toru.”

“Yuh uh!”

The first time Gojo Satoru kissed you was underneath that dingy playground slide that the two of you always raced to after elementary school. 

Usually, your older brother, Suguru, would walk home alongside you two - but this time, he’d just so happened to have been held back for throwing paper planes at the teacher that day.

A sign from the universe, Satoru internally celebrated, something he’d learned from those sappy romance novels his mother left lying around the house. No matter that he was the one that made those planes.

You were six back then, standing in front of a determined Satoru - reaching up on his tip-toes, face pink, smelling of those cheap strawberry lollipops he’d sneak into class and taunt you with. At the much older and wiser age of seven, he’d insisted on being the first one to lean in.

Just barely even grazing your dramatically puckered lips before-

Satoru learned two things that fateful afternoon:

Even as a seven-year-old, Suguru’s punches really hurt. 

Never mess with you. Anyone but you. 

Life only seemed to go downhill from there - because that last lesson was proving to be hard along the years. Really. Fucking. Hard.

Little did Satoru know that this would be the start of some strange, unpredictable little dance of push and pull. No, you definitely weren’t his wife. Nor were you exactly best friends - not really, that spot was reserved for your brother. But you didn’t think you could ever be just that either.

And the punch that’d knocked his wobbly tooth out onto the playground floor that day was a painful reminder that whatever that was - whatever weird thoughts he had later in middle school about how you’d tasted like candy - didn’t matter. No matter how part some tucked-away little part of him wanted it to.

Hell, eleven years later and Satoru still can’t walk around that familiar block without feeling slightly queasy. Which is why, after that failed first kiss, he knew there wouldn’t be a second. 

Instead, he settles back to teasing your pouty self, pushing all your buttons, tugging on those cute dresses you wore. Face burning so strangely with- humiliation? when you bickered right back, calling his haircut a “tragic attempt at modern art.”

“So you’re saying I look like art?” A gangly, now-seventeen Satoru blocks the bustling high school hallway, ignoring the bell. Grin only growing at your frustrated huff, he half-jokes, “Aww, if you’re that soft on me, sweetheart, maybe we should go to prom tog-”

You slam your locker, effectively shutting both it and Satoru at the same time. “I’d rather go with Yaga.”

“...you would not.”

“Would to.”

“Would not.”

“Would to.”

“Would- Sugu–!”

And all Suguru can do is wrap two hands around his neck, mock-choking himself, wondering if it was really too late to embrace a quiet life as a monk. “You’ll both be MLA cited in my farewell note.”

He was used to it, though, forced to watch all this chaos since quickly mending his friendship with Satoru over ice cream the day after the punch. Convinced that this was some punishment for a past life’s misdeed.

With a squawk of protest, Satoru’s turning back to you, eyes crinkling with a hint of mischief you knew too well, “Would not.”

Your face burns, “Would to, Toru.”

You didn’t go with Yaga. but Satoru didn’t exactly count that as a win in his books, either, because you did show up that night hanging off the arm of some jerk from the football team. 

And there you were, all dolled up - which he very objectively noted - way too prettily for some bastard like him. Stars in your eyes, and everything he couldn’t have in that smile. 

Everything. 

Way too gorgeous, even when he finds you sitting outside the gymnasium later on in the night. Too busy bawling your mascara off to even throw out your usual greeting insult his way. Murmuring out wetly about “that asshole” and how he humiliated you by stranding you in the middle of the dance floor for someone else. 

“Well, he was a jerk anyway. Even Yaga would’ve been better, hell, I-” Satoru stops short to his horror at the way you only cry harder.

Way too irresistible, especially as his body moves before his mind - holding out an open hand before he knows it. “I’m a much better dancer than him and you.” And oh Satoru will forever remember the way his heart lurches as you blink your teary eyes up in confusion, “Well, aren’t ya gonna take up the challenge?”

Weirdly, it wasn’t weird at all. 

If anything, you had to hold back your laughter the entire time at the way the great “campus sweetheart” Gojo Satoru was so on edge.

Just a friend comforting a friend, right?

So why was he avoiding your gaze with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, summer blue eyes pointedly trained right over your head. That pretty pink blush dusting his cheeks reflecting the hands hovering in midair over your waist. So close - and yet, fear in each and every turn and swirl.

Yours were searing into his broad shoulders as you tried to guide him to the muffled music from inside. And shit.

That night ended with a second kiss. 

You don’t know who leaned in first, just that Satoru’s soft lips were just fleeting on your glossy ones - barely even a touch. And that shit shit shit- this was Satoru. This was you. 

Everything. 

But it seems that every time Satoru was about to kiss you dangerously close to the way some tiny, forbidden part of his heart wanted to - the universe throws an obstacle at him. An obstacle that was six feet and named ��Suguru”, currently running at break-neck speed out of the gym.

“MOVE YOUR ASSES!” he cackles, “THE FOOTBALL TEAM ISN’T TOO HAPPY ABOUT ME BREAKING THEIR STAR PLAYER’S NOSE.”

And not a word is uttered about the kiss as the three of you speed out of the school parking lot in Suguru’s busted-up black hellcat, the wind mussing up the hairstyle that took Satoru over two hours to perfect. Sneaking in glances at the sight of you singing along at the top of your lungs to some overplayed pop song on the radio. 

He learns another two things that night:

Apparently, Suguru’s right hook still really fucking hurt. And thank god for tonight’s casualties of noses, because it was a wonder that he didn’t look too hard at how close Satoru was with you. 

He didn’t…dislike the feeling of your lips on his. And judging by the way you meet his eyes in the rearview mirror - you didn’t either.

It’s mainly that last one that makes him gulp.

Neither of you remember the third kiss - though, Satoru’s sure that at least 80% of Shoko’s instagram followers did.

According to a very hungover Shoko, and the many, many forms of documentation, it had happened on the New Year’s eve during your third year in university. In which you were much more used to the raging parties that would be hosted at Suguru’s apartment, and only slightly less intimidated by them.

“And you’re a lightweight too, dumbass. You were gone.” Shoko sighs from across the café table, eye bags deeper than the last time he’d seen her. “Like gone gone.”

God, what a way to start the year.

Satoru bites back a remark about how “gone” Shoko herself had been. Sitting up straight in his seat, regret immediately hitting his senses faster than the guilty throbbing at his temples. He winces, managing out a semi-disbelieving groan of, “Gone gone?”

And she’s only nodding wearily, subconsciously tapping out the rest of her cigarette ashes onto his untouched plate of sweet pastries. 

“I’m talking dancing on expensive coffee tables and fighting to stop you from giving everyone there a strip show.” She cracks a smirk through a waft of smoke, “Though, she would’ve loved that I’m sure.”

“Har har har, you’d make even Nanami laugh with that one.”

“Eugh, gross.” Shoko taps through her phone briefly, swirling it around to show Satoru a few pictures that definitely gave him a mini-heart attack at 8:57 in the morning. “You look like you’re about to pen really bad poetry.”

And perhaps this was Shoko’s plan all along - to shock Satoru to the core hard enough that she can note it down as one of her sketchy psychological experiments. 

But he knew. Could feel it in the hazy fragments of memories - or, at the very least, in that entire highlight that Nanamin had oh-so-conveniently put up on Instagram titled, “Blackmail.”

You knew. 

You’d kissed him back. 

“I don’t have a-.” you slur, stumbling ever-so-slightly as you try to meet Satoru’s glassy eyes. Because shit the years have had him shooting up faster than you could look up. “-a New Year’s kiss, y’know.”

You were older - more gorgeous, if that was even possible now. That tight dress hugging your body so unfairly in a way that had him forgetting you were his best friend’s sister. 

The one person in this whole world that he couldn’t have.

But Satoru leans in closer, more because he wants to than anything - he could pick out your voice anywhere let alone over the thumping music currently filling his crowded living room. Lips loose as he tries to play up the cool-guy facade he’s been dubbed with since freshman year, “Hah, loser. Because I do.”

“Where?”

At this, Satoru is stumped - damn, you were good. 

“Not- uh here?” If he was in any clearer state of mind, he’d have been embarrassed at the way his voice cracks so traitorously as your unsteady hands pull him in closer by his overpriced button-up. 

Your body was flush against his now, so addictive. Gaze half-lidded and flickering between the sliver of milky skin exposed on his chest - from that impromptu striptease he’d almost started earlier - and the blue eyes that were currently locked you. You whisper a strained, “Liar.”

Close - too close. So dangerously close.

He breathes out against your lips, the smell of booze and you so heady in his mind. And the heavy words falling from his lips sound like lies, even to him. “Not.”

“Toru?” you hum, a sound that has him gasping. “Shut up.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

And there went your New Year’s kisses. At exactly 11:37PM, if the photos were anything to go by. 

And holy shit were there many. All of which showed your arms looped around Satoru’s neck, crashing his lips to yours. His own, resting against your waist, a scandalously red blush - whether from the alcohol or you - adorning his cheeks. Looking more blissed out than he ever remembers feeling. 

“I’m a dead man, Shoko.” 

There’s a lengthy silence, leaving Satoru stewing in thoughts of how Suguru would react once he finds out. And whether or not he’d be able to rise from the dead just to see how pretty you’d look at his funeral.

Morbid thoughts broken only by Shoko’s cough, “Hey, can I keep your eyes for experimentation if he actually catches you?”

Subtly, he sends himself those photos from last night.  

Luckily for Satoru’s eyes, they never ended up being donated towards Shoko’s questionable contributions to the world of medicine. 

And by some grace of the gods above, Suguru never mentioned a word about the kiss that would’ve inevitably made its way to him. Or maybe it was because Satoru stole his phone until he managed to pester Nanami just enough to take down that highlight. But, semantics. 

His heart, however, might as well have been part of some experiment.

Because it’s been working overdrive since that night - mind reliving that moment over and over and over and- shit, he’s fucked. So, so fucked. 

Fucked enough that it took Satoru months just to muster up to even look in your pretty eyes once more, unless he wanted to get lost in them forever. Fucked enough that he dared to wonder again and again when there might be a fourth kiss - if there would be a fourth kiss. 

He just never thought it would happen the way it did - with you, standing outside his front door. 

“I’m sorry, Toru.” you mumble, “It’s just- I think we both need to grow up.”

You’ve freshly graduated now, looking more and more irresistible each time he sees you - even when you’re looking at him like that. 

Rolling his eyes, “Ha, is this another way of saying you want my secret to getting taller? Because the first thing is to-”

“I’m serious, Satoru.”

And oh how he wished you’d say something - anything - else right now. Call him anything but that. Maybe even throw an insult his way, tell him those new sunglasses look ugly, or about how you got that internship he would’ve died for. 

Satoru manages to choke out a heavy, “I don’t understand.” But that uncomfortable coil of something curling at the pit of his stomach said otherwise. And it causes him to finally breathe out a hesitant, “Maybe you’re right.”

As if that was all the answer you needed, you’re stepping out of the front door. Slow, and deliberate like you were giving him another chance - a thousand more. Sighing out a defeated, “It’s been years.” It has. “And we’re just running in circles.” You have. “I’m starting to think this is just some game to you.” It wasn’t.

“Wait!” he grasps your hand - soft. The look in your eyes even softer as you turn around to face his desperate face. “Please, sweetheart.”

Satoru doesn’t even know what words he wants to say - let alone whether they’d come out of his heavy mouth. 

So, instead, he’s crashing them into yours. 

Brief. Fleeting. Like each one before this. Too addictive, too short, that he thinks he’s almost imagining it as you pull away gently, until he sees that look in your eyes. 

“Toru, I have a date.”

The fourth kiss.

Satoru’s letting go of you like it burned - and, truly, it felt like some deep, dark part of him was burning down right now. “Great.” That should be hm that should be him that should be- “I’m…happy for you.”

And the last.

He fucked up.

He really, really fucked up.

That first date turned into a second. The second into a third. And unfortunately for Gojo, eventually, you were nearing your one-year anniversary with that asshat you’d met during the early days of your internship. 

He’d seen the man himself once, briefly at another one of Suguru’s famous parties. Ducking out of sight before he could be introduced, yet long enough to know that he wasn’t as tall, or as handsome, or as absolutely fucking hilarious. 

What did he have that Satoru didn’t? 

The answer to that, Satoru’s reminded of every time he’s causing ruckus over at Suguru’s apartment, and sees you walking out of your room, tittering on the phone to none other than your boyfriend. So gorgeous. So not his. 

You, that loser had you.

“If you sigh again I swear I’m shoving this popcorn up your a-”

“It’s a sad movie, Suguru!” he defends, draped across your couch at another one of those movie nights you loved to organize. As usual, there was the popcorn, the god-awful movie (if Satoru picks it), and the arguments. The only thing missing, however, was you. Ugh, something about an “anniversary” and a “seafood date”. Seriously, it’s not like you even enjoyed that new seafood restaurant in town, and he’s sure that bastard didn’t know-

“Satoru.” his best friend’s deadpan voice cuts through his little reverie. “We’re watching Mean Girls.”

And he’s barely even opening his mouth to snark back before-

SLAM!

Suguru pauses the movie almost immediately, turning to the direction of the front door. “Uh oh.” 

And lo and behold - there was you in all your pissed off, beautiful glory. Throwing your keys on the table, your fiery glare passes over the two men as you stomp to your bedroom. 

“Seafood wasn’t that good, sweetheart?” Satoru calls out behind you, eyes sweeping down your figure. Heart stuttering in his chest when you turn around with your fists clenched, lower lip wobbling in a way that Satoru would both kill whoever made you feel this way and die to be on the other side of those daggers in your eye. 

Sniffing out an icy, “Fuck off, loser and loserette.”

Then in a whirlwind of rage, you’re gone - your bedroom door slamming only slightly more gently than you’d done with the front door. Leaving a deafening silence, and Satoru whining, “Why am I the loserette?”

“Deserved.” Suguru shrugs. Warily eyeing your door, as if it was about to pounce at any given second, “Let her cool down before you give her an aneurysm at least.” Unpausing the television, propping his feet back up, “S’enough having to deal with you on top of a boyfriend like that.”

And that has Satoru perking up in interest - both figuratively, and literally as he snatches the remote and pauses the movie. “Wait wait wait what-” Holding it way out of Suguru’s reach, “What do you mean a ‘boyfriend like that’?”

Scoffing, “Funny. Now give me back the remote.”

A beat of silence passes. One. Two.

Only then does it dawn on Suguru that this might just not be some strange prank to stroke Satoru’s ego, and he was actually  more serious than he’d ever seen him. Damn. 

“Bro, have you really never met the guy or something? He’s a complete tool. I don’t know what happened, but this breakup was a long time coming.”

Satoru blinks, feeling a red hot surge of anger. “What? Seriously? Why didn’t you do anything about it?”

“You think I didn’t try?” he sighs, running a hand through his hair at the other’s uncharacteristic silence. “Hah, and just imagine, the man was talking about marriage, too. As if.”

And suddenly, Satoru’s hit with an image of you walking down the aisle. Not something he was a stranger to, but it still takes him aback. The sway of the fabric beneath his fingers, your lips against his. Hell, in that split-second he even dreams up how Nanamin would be crying very reluctant tears of joy. 

Everything. Everything that wasn’t his.

His fist tightens around the remote, until he could hear the cracking of plastic. Mind whirling with the thought of you and him and you. How he wished it was him and you. “I would’ve been better.”

Oh. 

Shit. 

“I- fuck this. Suguru, since elementary school I…”

And, well, Satoru’s so busy putting that extra physics seminar he took in university to work - trying to calculate the odds of surviving a jump out of this seven-storey window - that he almost misses Suguru’s low hum, a distant, almost barely-audible little interruption, “Well duh.”

“Hold on.” he’s snatching away the remote that had somehow slithered its way into the other’s hands once again. Ignoring his best friend’s croak of protests to pause in the middle of Regina George being hit by the bus - which, he felt was strangely enviable right now. “That was- what? YOU KNOW?”

“Huh? Even my parents know, the only one that doesn’t is her.”

“...”

Satoru didn’t know how Suguru seemed so calm, but he felt like he was about to spontaneously combust. Heart stuttering in his chest as he sideglances at your firmly shut door - like he was just waiting for you to jump out and tell him this was some elaborate prank. 

Begging for you to come - it would’ve hurt less.

But you don’t.

Fuck. 

And the only response he gets is a low whistle, before a phone is being shoved in his face - flashlight illuminating that crimson blush. “Damn, the great Gojo Satoru speechless? The groupchat is gonna love this, might even send it to my sister, y’know.” 

He didn’t care - didn’t give a shit if this video made rounds to Gakuganji himself. Only one thought racing through his mind right now. 

“But why aren’t you punching me like in elementary school?” 

And Satoru knows he’s smart - intelligent even. Hell, he was the valedictorian, the youngest employee to claw their way up to being on the board of directors. But he’s never felt more stupid when Suguru breathes out a bewildered, “Dude. That was for blaming me for the paper planes.” 

“Oh.”

Then the movie is unpaused. 

---

The last time you kissed Gojo Satoru was at the doorstep to that overpriced penthouse of his, exactly a year ago today. 

The last time you saw Gojo Satoru was just a few hours ago, lounging around your living room like he owned it. Honestly, he might as well have been part of the furniture at this point - like some expensive, fluffy couch. One that prattled on about your “dumbass boyfriend” and god-knows-what else to rile you up just for the fun of it.

Which is why it was odd to step out of your bedroom - eyes just a bit puffy, throat still tight - to a suspiciously quiet hallway. 

The lights were turned off, nothing but the pouring rain sounding from outside, television paused on some rerun of The Princess Diaries. Damn, you told those idiots not to start that one without you.

“Sugu?” you call, finding his bedroom empty. “Thought tonight was movie night?” Padding across the empty apartment, contemplating whether or not to get your phone and call him when-

Ding!

Ah, there. 

You roll your eyes as you head towards the front door, ready to give Suguru a piece of his mind for going out at this ungodly hour and forgetting his key. Seriously, what if you opened the door and he was hurt, or worse, or…

Satoru. 

Speaking a mile a minute.

Satoru.

“-florist was closed and the store clerk looked at me like I was crazy but I got this for-” he pauses abruptly, as if realizing something with a jolt. “-you.”

“You- what-” you don’t know where to look - at the drenched, disheveled Satoru filling your doorframe - rain in his hair, curtaining his frantic eyes, drenching his snug t-shirt. Or at the obscenely large bouquet of cheap strawberry lollipops being placed gently into your arms. 

What follows was an electric silence - and you have half the mind to tease Satoru for finally shutting the fuck up for once in his life. 

But, no. Instead, you eye the way he stands stubbornly at the doorway, fists clenched, blue eyes locked so intensely on yours that it was like they burned. 

Face flushed a familiar pretty pink that makes you realize that shit, he might be taller, voice deeper, broad shoulders tight against his t-shirt - but this was still the same boy that cried when you stole his favorite Digimon card in middle school. The same one that kissed you underneath a dingy slide, smelling of strawberry lollipops.

It’s the steady tap! tap! tap! of the water droplets from his hair that have you tearing your traitorous eyes from his see-through white t-shirt.

Guess you’ve both done some growing up since then.

“You loser.”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

The pink wrapping of the bouquet rustles as your grip tightens. “He proposed to me today, y’know.” and yet, your quiet, even voice was the only thing ringing in Satoru’s ears. He jolts, as if some visceral, primal part of himself had been poked awake. Breathing heavy, fists clenching until he could feel the neat indents of his fingernails on his palm. Of course. He’s late. He’s late he’s late he’s late-

That is, until you’re plowing on, “I said no.”

“Huh?”

You think back to the stuffy restaurant, the man sitting from across from you - how wrong it felt. And all it took were those four words for you to realize that. “I said no.” 

Satoru snaps his head up, stepping close - so close. Voice strained like he wasn’t asking - begging. Praying, “Why?”

“We…” you raise a brow at the way Satoru flinches as you trail off. So desperate. A smirk makes its way onto your face, “...we haven’t divorced yet, right?”

And then you’re kissing him - or maybe he’s kissing you. 

Fuck, you don’t know - nor do you really care right now. Not when Satoru’s got his lips crashing against yours for the fifth time in your life, kissing you like it would be the last. Big arms dipping down to your waist, pulling you so tight against his muscled frame that he had half the mind to wonder whether it hurt. 

“Love this. Love the way you kiss me- fuck-” he’s spitting against your lips, kicking the door shut behind him. “Oh- would ya get mad if I-” he tries to get out through kisses. Only to suck on your pretty lips with a pained grunt. “If I-” Again and again, like it killed him to part. “-hah- celebrated right now?”

“Yes.” You’re letting the bouquet fall to the foor, white-knuckling that useless, drenched excuse of a shirt. “Now kiss me properly, Toru.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Such a sloppy mix of teeth and hands and him. Shoving a knee between your legs, making up for years and years of late nights with nothing but his fist and the pretty thought of you. 

“Yeah, that’s it, sweetheart.” Satoru breathes out, as your urgent fingers that dispose of his shirt, feeling the gorgeous dips and curves of years of hard work to impress you. “Suck on m’tongue pretty- fuck-” His own fisting your shirt, pulling. Ripping.

“Toru!”

“I want you.” He’s letting the poor, tattered pieces drop in a pile on the floor, trailing a hand between your damp thighs before he can stop himself. “Oh how I’ve wanted you. And I don’t care if I have to buy fifty new outfits to make up for it.”

And it’s the feeling of his long index stroking up your sopping slit through your shorts that has you pulling away with a gasp. Delicate little strings of saliva snapping from Satoru’s kiss-bitten lips. “If we continue like this…” your voice wavers as he presses hot kisses along your collarbone. “-my brother’s gonna walk in.”

“...wouldn’t wanna relive that playground kiss, huh?”

It’s all he says before picking you up so easily, hands resting on your ass. Giving a playful spank ass you wrap your legs around his toned waist. 

And it’s sloppy.

Both his lips still hotly on yours and the way he’s stumbling urgently to your room through pure muscle memory. Pulling away only when you’re all splayed out so prettily for him on your mattress.

“Blue?” he breathes, pulling your shorts off. And it comes out strained - like the very sight of your panties - all soaked and flimsy with your slick - has whatever’s remaining of Satoru’s sanity flying out the window. “Blue? Oh, you’ve gotta have planned this, you little minx.” his hot breath hits your cunt as he shifts down the bed, tongue drawing languid, wet little circles on your inner thigh. “Because don’t tell me this was all for him?”

It was coincidence - or maybe fate - but that doesn’t stop you from giving Satoru a slow, teasing nod. Muttering out, “So what if it was?”

The only answer you get is thumb hooked around your shorts, pulling it just enough so that your brother’s best friend can spy your pretty pussy.

“Well then.” he chuckles at the way you jump when his fingertip just barely grazes your clit. “Guess I jus’ hafta prove m’better.”

A low groan is falling from his lips as soon as they meet your puffy ones, giving your pretty clit a chaste peck. Lingering long enough that he’s sure your sweet sweet juices cover his mouth.

And oh Satoru’s sure he’ll never forget the way your jaw falls slack, glassy eyes following his every move as he runs his tongue along his glossy lips. Savoring your candied taste, “Never kissed you like this before, huh?” 

Fuck, you’re sweeter than he’s imagined.

You whine desperately, something that has him smirking smugly, “Hah, what? Cat got your tongue?”

“You’re better when you shut up.” It’s all you can do to buck your hips into Satoru’s pretty face - not that you had to, because one taste of your dripping cunt and he was addicted. Surging forwards until he was nose-deep, locking your ankles around his head with a firm yank.

And you can’t lie - maybe you’ve imagined this exact scene a few times before on those lonely nights. But you just never expected Satoru to be so depraved. Desperate.

“Ngh- fuck, Toru-” you reach a hand down to thread your fingers through his hair, tugging his face up. But Satoru doesn’t stop - not even for a second. Tongue still dipping to spread your swollen folds with his tongue, looking you right in the eyes as he murmurs a strangled, “Mhm?” 

“Thought you were gonna prove you’re better, hm?”

So goading. So like you. 

At this, Satoru pulls back ever-so-slightly to laugh - laugh. His plump, glistening lips curling into a humorless little grin, “Oh I will.” Thumb circling your throbbing clit. Just dragging your twitching body across the silky sheets close to his, one hand pinning your hips down. Hard. “I will.”

Loving his new favorite place between your legs one hand toys with your clit, quick, messy little patterns. Tongue even more so. 

“Not just better.” he grunts, “Gonna make you cum so much harder, too.” Having your thighs shake with each word hissed out into your cunt, each turn of his deft fingers. “Till I’m the only thing on your mind. Me.”

And it’s all you can do to let out choked up groans of his name, back arching off the plush mattress to let him make out with your cunt deeper. Sloppier. So, so starved with the way he’s speeding up, tongue dragging across your walls. In and out in and out in and-

“Fuck! Hngh-” you angle his head - and he lets you. “There- Toru-”

Honestly, you didn’t even have to tell Satoru - he could feel it. Could feel it in the way your plushy walls are squeezing his hot tongue so harsh, until it was almost difficult to fuck your pussy so sloppily. In the way you’re letting out such delicious whines each time he grazes against those sweet spots. 

“There? Hah- I know.” he pulls away to muse, and your cute, disappointed whine goes straight to his already rock-hard cock. “Did he?”

He didn’t. And you’re shaking your head so pathetically - in a way you’d be embarrassed about usually. 

But that’s the last thing you’re thinking bout because you feel it - the cold, sinful feeling of Satoru spitting on your filthy cunt. Once. Twice. Blue eyes widening in delight at the way the mess of spit and slick drip down your slit. 

“Cute.” his tongue smoothes over the slutty pool, and the only thing your delirious brain can make out now is a low moan of, “So? Who’s better?”

It’s all you can do to choke out a broken little, “T-T-” Face burning at the way he was so clearly enjoying your struggle. And, well, no matter painfully hard it made his dick - he had to go just a bit easy on his girl, right?

“Shhhh, s’alright.” you flinch as he shoves two absolutely drenched fingers into your mouth, making so much more of a mess of it than necessary. Drinking in your cute gags, “I was asking her.” He’s making your head spin with the way he’s speeding up. “N’ she’s hah- very talkative.” Words muffled, and slurring together - like he was drunk off of you and your cunt. “Let’s hear what she has to ngh- say, huh?”

And with that, he’s alternating between lapping at your clit and squeezing into your sloppy entrance - like he couldn’t - didn’t - want to make up his mind. Oh, with your teary mewls strangled, the sound of Satoru making out with cunt is so loud. The squelches so obscene. 

“Fuuuuck.” he drawls. “Louder than I thought. I think she says I’m better, don’t you think?” 

You angle your head just right to catch the way his jaw grinds deeper into you, eating you out like his last meal. Your slick drooling down his chin so sinfully. 

“Ngh- fuck fuck fuck- ngh-” your yelps are dreamy, feeling like you were losing your mind with the way he was stretching you out. 

Like you were about to snap. Any second now. 

But Satoru’s only increasing his movements, drawing out your little moans. “And I think she’s saying…”  Getting sloppier. More erratic - and it didn’t matter if his fingers were cramping up now, cock aching with the need to be inside you. “-that she’s about to cum.”

You do - so hard and loud - both you and your cunt. 

You’re shaking, all but gushing all over Satoru’s mouth, tight pussy squeezing his tongue so hard. Barely even realizing the searing grip you’ve got on his hair as you drag your sloppy pussy all over his mouth.

But Satoru doesn’t mind - he gladly welcomes it, in fact. Tonguefucking your snug cunt senselessly, letting you chase your high as roughly as you wanted. Over and over.

Even when you’re vision isn’t as spotty as before, even when nothing’s coming out of your mouth but little whimpers. Your breathing dying down until all that rings in your barely-lucid mind were those obscene noises of Satoru’s lips all on yours. 

“T-Toru-” you whine, big fat tears pricking at your hazy eyes. “M’so sensitive.”

And of course this is Satoru, the same boy who’s been pushing your buttons for years just to giggle at your adorable reactions. Which is why he grins against your twitching cunt, “So?”

It takes everything in you to raise your head off the pillow that just seemed to be swallowing you whole, and even more to shoot Satoru a half-hearted glare. “So m’gonna ngh- assume you’re jus’ a pussy with a s-smaller dick than-”

You don’t get to finish your sentence - he doesn’t let you. Because Satoru’s fumbling with his belt, peeling off those still-drenched pants just enough for you to admire his clothed erection. 

And, shit, admittedly you expected him to have a big dick - having been subjected to way too much locker room talk with your brother - but this was ridiculous. 

“What? Too big?” He flashes you that infuriating grin. Palming his rock-hard cock through his boxers at the way your beautiful eyes trace the outline of his cock, all swollen and big. So intimidatingly big. “Damn, sweetheart, if I knew that this was how I’d get that feisty lil’ mouth of yours to shut up then I’d have done it a lot sooner.” 

And you don’t even know if you’re breathing, the pads of your fingers dancing along his bulge. Tracing those prominent veins. Thumbing that little damp spot at his fat head. “You wouldn’t have.” 

He hisses as your soft hands dip into the hem of his underwear. Voice cracking slightly, “I wouldn’t.”

Then you’re gasping - in sync with Satoru’s low moan - as you finally let him spring free. Thick cock hitting his sculpted abs, red tip smearing precum in a lewd little pool. Weeping and so so angry at the sight of you.

At the heavenly feeling of your thumb teasing under his sensitive slit, “Oh, shit.” 

He’s throwing his head back when you give an experimental pump, all the way from his pretty tip to the tufts fo white at his hilt. Fist gliding all over the thumping veins. Bucking his hips up like such a slut into your touch. 

“O-oh fuck.” he cracks an eye open at the way your hand looked so small compared to his dick, how well you were taking care of him. “Been ngh- dreaming of this since I learned what handjobs were, y’know? Hah- shit- ya gotta stop before I fuckin’ pass out.”

And Satoru thinks he could cum right then and there at the way you’re bringing your soaked index up to your mouth. Batting your lashes as you suck on them with a lewd pop! “From jus’ that?”

“You have no idea.”

That’s all it takes for Satoru to throw your still-quivering thighs over his shoulders, effectively shutting up whatever tease is on the tip of your sharp tongue by kissing your swollen folds with his fat head. Giving it one, long drag. 

Your mouth is sagging open at the slow, torturous teasing. The sheer anticipation that had your mouth running, “S-so much for ah- jus’ being ‘friends’, huh?”

“Oh, sweetheart.” And you’re flinching from Satoru’s deep, dark tone. The way he’s bracing his fingers so bruisingly on your hips, reeling all the way back till his tip was just kissing your hole. “We stopped being friends the day you married me on that playground.” 

And then he’s slamming in - pushing past that first, feeble ring of resistance, gummy walls stretching out so perfectly for him. As if he fit right in - and he tells you that. Pants it into your open mouth a little over fifteen times, in fact. 

“Shiiiit, look at you.” he can’t tear his eyes away from the side of your lips stretching so wide to try and milk him. Sloppy entrance stretching out like magic. “S’like you’re made for me, huh? This pussy is made f’me?”

“Ngh- fuck, Toru! S’too big-” you keen, feet flattening on the mattress. As if to escape. To maybe fucking breathe.  

Not even half-way in yet, but aleady torn between pushing away and sinking yourself down on his swollen cock for more more more-

“Don’t you dare run away.” he warns, looking up at you through his long lashes. “I’ve waited too long for this. N’ you’re not taking this pretty pussy away any time soon.” Inch by fucking inch. Grinding in short, sharps jabs - no rhythm of rhyme, like they were genuinely out of control. “Way too f-fuckin’-” All the way until your puffy folds was meeting his hilt. Finally. All the way in. “-long.”

And once Satoru had you split apart on his dick - had those tears rolling down your cheeks, cunt swallowing him so sluttily - it’s like something snaps. 

Because he doesn’t waste a second - he’s already wasted almost two decades, anyway - filling you up with his mean hips. Not fucking easing you into it because you always did bring out that part of him, the part that him looping two strong arms around your waist. Pulling. 

“Oh- f-fuck c’mere.” Satoru gasps, pressing your body so crushingly against his. Kissing your shaky shoulers, your sweaty forehead, the gentleness so contrasting to his hips.“God I’ve missed out- fuck fuck fuck-” 

You’ve never seen the great Gojo Satoru - campus sex symbol - so uncomposed. Eyes half-lidded, just boring into yours, mouth slack in a soft oh! as he drags his cock all over inside your gummy walls. And the sight is so heavenly that you make the mistake the mistake of cracking a minute smile.

Just barely curling your lips before - “Don’t smile at me like that.” He’s dipping down a hand to roll your ravaged clit between two bullying fingers. “Fuck, she’s gonna be the death of me. Right?”

You keen at the- stimulation? The strech? The sheer embarrassment as you realize that Satou’s still talking to your sloppy pussy? Nodding so mockingly up at you as he plows on, “Mhm, she says you needa be ngh- knocked down a god, you’re tight- peg or two. So- get- ready-” 

He’s using this as an excuse to sit up on his knees, dragging you onto his lap so easily like some ragdoll. 

“That’s more like it.”

You’re sliding deeper down his painfully hard cock - all the way till his heavy balls rest beneath your ass, clit rubbing against his pelvis every time he bounces you like some slut.  

Deep. Ruthless.

“Keep your eyes open, sweetheart.” He chuckles, and you’re screwing open your eyes that you don’t even remember shutting. Trying so hard to stop crying out at the feeling of the curve of his dick massaging your walls. “Ya gotta hngh- see the o-only one who’d fuckin’ you properly, right?”

You squeal when he’s taking your clit captive once more. Finger quick, deft. “Y-yes.”

But that wasn’t enough for Satoru - it might as well never be. Because he’s only ramming his hips up further. Like he’s pushing into your stomach, your lungs, all the way into your cockdrunk brain. Fat head alternating between kissing your poor, abused cervix and all those sweet spots he’d mapped out with his tongue.

“Sounded unsure to me.” he’s pouty against your hardened nipples bouncing enticingly in his face. Fingers quirking faster on your clit, “Maybe I should ngh- stop then?”

“No!” Your hips stutter against Satoru’s. Nails clawing down the sculpted panes of his shoulders, leaving red angry marks for him to take as a sign tomorrow morning that no, it wasn’t just one of his dreams this time. “No no no- m’sure. You’re the only one makin’ me feel this way.”

You can feel the way he’s twitching wildly at your words, dick thumping harder inside your sensitive cunt. 

He punctures each word with a heavy, calculated thrust. Hand stretching and squeezing open your cunt from behind to let him slide impossibly deeper. “Hmmm, I’m not convinced.” 

Your stupid mouth is only capable of letting out broken, choked-up little moans of his name, ankles locking around those dimples at the end of his spine. “S’you–”

“Still not convinced.”

But he’s still speeding up his movements, just dragging you up and down his cock. “Who else made you hah- feel this good?” Sure to claim you from the inside out - to leave marks everywhere. Heavy balls on your ass, weeping tip on your cervix, lips bruised as you whimper at his murmured, “That ex of yours?” Biting down your neck, “That barista that always flirts with you?” Pulling away only to breathe into your lips, “Who?”

“ I- fuck it’s only you, Toru.”

“Sound convincing to you?” Satoru hums down at your cunt, biting his lower lip at the way you were milking him so good. Your slick soaking him all the way down to his balls - so needy in a way he never thought he’d see. “Yeah-” be breathes, nosing at your neck. “She agrees- fuck does this tight lil’ pussy of yours agree.” A few tears, a few gorgeous marks down his back, and he was finally convinced. “You’re mine.”

You don’t even realize it when you’re cumming, and Satoru doesn’t either.

Both of you too caught up in each other to recognize that familiar, white-hot pleasure running down your spine - all the way down to where he was so mercilessly buried in your cunt.  

And you’re well into the blood roaring deafeningly in your ears, the sight of Satoru - all wrecked - blurring as he fucks his hips up. Harsh. Eyes rolling to the back of his head as he paints your quivering walls white. 

Cumming and cumming so hard that you can feel his seed dribbling down your thighs, making such a mess all over Satoru’s lap. Your poor, overfilled cunt soon bloated and unable to keep up with it.

“Toru–” you whine, like a prayer. Milking the fucking soul out of him while he gently paws at your messy hair.

“Shhh, I know I know, sweetheart.” Such a stark contrast to the way he was filling you up like his favorite sex toy. Not even bothering to move anymore, one hand on your hip, moving your limp body up and down his sensitive cock to fuck it deeper. The other still playing with your clit, “S’alright, my girl”

Satoru’s hands never leave you, and he prays that now that he got a taste - well, you better be alright with them not leaving you for as long as he lives.

“As long as you live, huh?” you chuckle groggily, a noise so dreamy that Satoru can’t even be mad that he said it out loud. “And all that riling me up these years. Do you have a degradation kink or something?”

“Well, only one way to find out~”

“Oh shut up you-”

SLAM!

“Yooo, I bought dinner from that- WHAT THE FUCK?”

There were only two more lessons to be learned:

Always lock the door. Always. And in case you don’t, a bouquet of lollipops will do the trick to a Suguru reeling from the newest addition to the family. 

Cheap takeout tastes better with an apologetic Suguru, and an ice pack to his cheek - and you to kiss it better.

A/N. Can you tell I kept listening to that one Artemas song while writing this?

Plagiarism not authorized.

[gurugirl]

Assistance Needed | assistant!reader

based on this request (thank you anon! hope you enjoy!)

Summary: Harry finds himself in an awkward position when you walk in on him in his office just as he's in the middle of something quite improper.

Word Count: 3,053

Warning: smut (oral sex), inappropriate relationship, power imbalance (boss/assistant)

| main masterlist |

. . .

How could you not know the lacy edge of your bra was peeking out from your lovely white silk top? Eyeglasses pushed up on your head while you leaned over the table and held the pencil between your teeth as you pointed to the paragraph in the document that you felt didn’t belong.

Harry stared down at the contract as you pulled the pencil from your lips to speak, “This looks like it doesn’t belong here. I feel like it was accidentally copied from a different contract altogether but we need to remove it.”

He looked up at your pretty eyes, already on his, and stood with a curt nod, “Yes. I think you’re right, Y/n. Once that’s done, print out enough copies for all the partners and we’ll sign them before the end of the day.”

You smiled at him and he felt his face warm. That’s all it took. Your smile.

But that was a problem because he was your boss. He paid your salary. You worked your ass off and you were the best assistant he’d ever had. You were even catching mistakes his administrative assistants didn’t. Sometimes he felt like you knew him better than his mom did. But that didn’t mean he was allowed to pine after you the way he was.

After closing the door to his office when you walked out he sat in his cushy leather chair and ran his hands into his hair. He couldn’t keep this up. His imagination would get the best of him at times but it’d been too frequent as of late. But part of him wondered why you had started wearing the things you were suddenly.

When you first started on, just over a year ago you always dressed professionally but very conservatively. There was no hint of anything particularly sexy or flirty. So Harry had never really looked at you like he had more recently. He always thought you were cute and smart and he was often surprised by how well you listened.

But then it turned into something like a friendship. He would seek you out for advice or to just chat, maybe even vent when the mood was right. He’d text you randomly midweek in the evening, then eventually he’d find himself shooting you a text on a Saturday afternoon, then a Saturday evening. And one day, when he was thinking about you while he was grocery shopping he realized he didn’t just find you refreshing to be around. Nor was he just simply happy to see you and enjoyed your company. No. He liked you. Liked you, liked you.

It really all blew up in his face, though, when you walked into the office one morning a couple of months ago wearing this dress that had his heart stopping and his tongue sliding out of his mouth (yes, just like a cartoon). He felt like a creep. He already knew he was developing feelings for you on some level but when he got a glimpse of you in something slightly more revealing it was like he was 16 again. It was embarrassing when he had to hide the front of his pants because all it took for you to make him hard was to wear a high heel or a dress that was on the shorter side.

Or wearing a thin white silk shirt tucked into a well-fitted pencil skirt and the tiniest peek of lace.

And he decided to do something he’d never done in his life. It’d be fast. No one would ever know and Harry could talk to you with a clear head and it would keep his boner at bay, at least until he left the office.

Scooting in closer to his desk he unzipped his pants and opened up his drawer to pull out tissues before spitting into his palm and smoothing it down his shaft. The relief was instant. He was swollen and already throbbing in his hand, which is why he knew it’d be fast. He could take his time later on at home, but in that moment, he needed to get off before you walked back into his office with the updated documents.

His breaths got deeper as he dropped his mouth open and closed his eyes and thought about your laugh and the curve of your bottom, your lips…

Pumping himself faster he laid one hand flat on his desk as he softly grunted the closer he got to this end. Another glob of saliva over himself made the glide of his big palm even better and he sighed when he felt his balls tighten and imagined your pretty lips wrapped around him, big, soft eyes looking up at him, the front of your shirt fully unbuttoned so he could get a proper look at the pretty bra he knew you were wearing underneath.

He was almost there when he heard a single knock at his door before it opened. You walked in with a folder and a smile on your face before closing the door behind you.

“I printed out copies for everyone. Michelle confirmed that the paragraph was transferred over from the Cota documents.”

Harry scooted himself into the desk and tried to catch his breath and act normal, hoping you wouldn’t see what he was doing or notice anything was off but he’d been right at the edge and his tip was already leaking as you laid the papers down on his desk. So far, it seemed as though you had no idea.

“Everything okay, Mr. Styles?” You suddenly paused and looked at his face. He seemed on edge.

“Yes. Fine. Thank you. I’ll sign these in a few minutes. Just, uh finishing something here.”

You squinted at him and noticed how flushed he was. How wide his pupils were. How dark his pink lips were. And his erratic behavior was a little odd.

“Are you sure? Is there something I can help you with?”

He looked up at you from his spot in his cushy chair and noticed the flirty grin on your face (was it flirty or was he just losing his mind?). The edge of your mouth quirked up as you slid your gaze downward to the space where the bottom half of his torso was just hidden underneath his desk.

“I don’t think that’s…” he inhaled, trying to calm his ragged breaths and will his erection away.

But instead of you stepping back and heading to his door to leave you cocked your head and sauntered to the side of his desk as if you already knew what he’d been doing and were determined to catch him in the act.

See, you’d been aware of his growing interest in you. And when the texts he’d send you on the weekends turned into flirtatious banter well into the evenings you decided to test out your theory. The first time you wore a dress that was just slightly shorter and tighter than normal with high heels that showed off your legs you realized he was checking you out.

So you did it again and again until you were positive it wasn’t just in your head. He was attracted to you. And it was so wrong of you to feed into it the way you did but it was hard not to enjoy the attention because Harry Styles was quite the specimen. Handsome and tall and witty… he was sexy, you’d always thought so.

And it was quite bold of you to assume anything but that day, you were feeling bold. Everything had been working for you since you woke up. Your outfit was banging (if you did say so yourself), your lipstick was staying put, you’d gotten the perfect amount of sleep, and your coffee order had been exactly to your preference. But what had you feeling extra confident was the double take Harry did when you stepped into his office that morning with his coffee.

“Mr. Styles,” you placed your hand on the edge of his desk and leaned down closer, “Tell me what you need.”

He blinked in surprise and swallowed, “I… what?”

Sliding your hand closer to the edge of the desk where he was you bit your lip as your shirt draped open slightly and you saw his pupils drag over your lacy bra.

You looked down at your cleavage and back up at him, “What? Do you like it?”

You watched him swallow again, a thick lump bobbing in his throat, “Do I like it?” He furrowed his brow and looked from your bra to your eyes, “It’s pretty.”

A grin took over your expression as you looked back down at your shirt, “Want to see more? I don’t mind.”

“I can’t. I’m…” he inhaled a shaky breath and looked down at his lap before pinning his eyes back to yours, “I’m your boss. This is inappropriate.”

You shrugged and pushed yourself back up, “I understand,” and turned to walk out. If he didn’t want to take it further you’d certainly not push it. But you knew he was up to something under his desk and you had a feeling what it was.

“Y/n wait a moment, please.”

You looked back at him and placed your arms over your chest with a soft smile, waiting for him to continue.

“Are you serious that you don’t mind?”

Shaking your head you released your arms, letting them fall to your sides, “I mean… this is embarrassing but I sort of wore this on purpose. Thought you might like it. So if you wanted to see more, well it’s for you anyway.”

“For me…” he repeated your words quietly as he considered his next steps.

“Yes. I’ve been dressing for you. I know I shouldn’t because, like you said, you’re my boss but… I don’t know.”

“I am your boss. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about you in ways I shouldn’t be.”

“Like you were doing just before I walked in?”

His jaw clenched and he looked back down at his lap with a nod before turning his gaze back to yours, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m not. I think about you too, you know.”

“Probably not like this.”

“Like what? Were you… Mr. Styles, were you touching yourself under your desk?”

He was like a deer caught in headlights. Eyes wide and scanning as he shifted uncomfortably, “I was. I apologize, I…”

Stepping forward you shook your head, “Don’t apologize. When I asked you if you needed something I hoped you’d let me, you know…” you breathed out a laugh and shrugged.

“You wanted to… help me? Like…” his brows scrunched together as if he couldn’t believe where the conversation was headed.

“Yes. If you wanted. We can pretend nothing happened and I’ll leave right now but I would love to– assist.”

He swallowed again, the gulp sounding in the quiet of his office, “Fuck,” he cursed and looked down at his length. He felt like such a pervert but here you were offering your assistance. When he looked back up at you, you’d already made your way back to his desk, eyes wide and hopeful.

“I can’t ask you to do that, Y/n. I don’t want to take advantage of you in that way.”

“You wouldn’t be taking advantage of me. If anything I’d be taking advantage of you. I’ve been hoping it’d come to this and that you’d need me to help you. Whatever you want. My hand, my mouth…”

Harry couldn’t believe his ears. His pretty assistant was standing there waiting for the word. You wanted it. He knew it would be a big mistake but he nodded despite his better judgment, “Okay. I’m already hard and I was pretty close when you walked in so it won’t take long. I’m not gonna make you use your mouth but if you wanted–“

“I would like to use my mouth if you’re okay with it,” you placed your glasses down and began to round the desk to be closer to him when he moved his chair back and you saw it. Ruddy tip, thick from root to crown, precum pearled at his slit and slowly dripping down the impressive length. It looked heavy. His cock was almost as gorgeous as he was.

“You poor thing,” you knelt down next to his chair and slid your hands up his thighs, “I want to make you feel good, Mr. Styles. Is it okay if I suck you off or would you rather me just use my hand?”

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back into his chair, “Fuck… fuck…” his cock twitched as you moved in, perching yourself between his thighs and waiting for his answer.

“If you want you can use your mouth. It’s up to you. I’m not in the position to be picky really, am I?” He laughed his green eyes on yours again.

You smiled back at him and let your nails scrape over the material of his pants before you allowed yourself the indulgence of wrapping your palm around him and he hissed, his head falling into the back of the chair again, but this time he kept his eyes opened as he watched you.

You licked your lips and smeared his precome down his shaft before fixing yourself on your knees and spitting over his head, “You can come in my mouth too,” you added before dipping down and tonguing at his slit for a taste of what was to come. He smelled clean and neutral. The precome was only slightly salty and bitter.

But the moment you took him in your mouth, lips stretching over his crown he gurgled a moan and placed his palm on the back of your head.

Smooth strokes of your mouth up and down, your tongue cradling the underside of his cock as you sucked and hollowed your cheeks. He was quite girthy and long. You clenched your thighs as you took him deeper, wondering what he’d feel like tucked into your cunt, pressing through your already clenching, slick walls.

“Oh fuck… Y/n… shit…” he let curses fall from his mouth as you lightly gagged around him, your drool starting to make a bit of a mess on his pants, “Fuck me… such a good girl. Oh my god…”

He was delirious. It was just what you wanted; to have him mumbling nonsense and praise and to have him shivering… soon he’d be pouring into your throat.

You bobbed over him, his chair squeaking as he tensed his thighs to keep the bottom from swiveling and you felt pressure on your head as he instinctually attempted to keep you in place with his hand. Your sinuses burned as he rutted up into your mouth, a gagged moan coming from the back of your throat as he throbbed and fucked his tip further back, “My god, Y/n… holy shit, such a good fucking assistant, aren’t you? Gonna take my come down your throat? Yeah?”

You moaned and let your blurry eyes slide up to his face and he groaned when he made eye contact with you. It was dirty and sexy, and completely improper for him to be balls-deep in his assistant's mouth. But fuck it was pretty. You were pretty but with your lips wrapped around him, drool slipping from your mouth and down your chin, and watery eyes blinking up at him, the scene was lewd.

He pulled you up so you could gasp for air, strings of saliva connected to his cock and your lips as you heaved in a breath and he wrapped his palm around your neck and pulled you in, his lips pressing against yours.

You were already slick in your panties but now this was making you dizzy. You moaned and pumped his cock slowly before he whispered against your lips, “You okay still?”

“Yes. So good. Let me finish you off.”

So he released your neck and you immediately encased his cock with your warm mouth again, sucking and bobbing and moaning wetly until he was quivering and thrusting his hips, hand pressed over your head once again as he began to pump hot, sticky cum into your mouth. You gulped him down and curved your tongue along his length as he let out a hoarse groan.

It was sloppy. You’d drooled a lot and you were sure your mascara was running down your cheeks, but you didn’t care. You’d risk being a bit of a mess if you could have him like this. You’d take what you could get of your handsome boss.

Harry moved his hand away from your head and you swallowed the last of him down as you pulled up, letting your tongue lick any missed cum, suckling at his tip before sitting back and looking up at him with a smile.

He was breathing hard as he reached for your face, “Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” you laughed softly and pushed yourself to stand. “Think I need to clean up a little before I step out of here.”

Harry tucked himself back into his pants and laughed, “A little. I like the raccoon look, though.”

You opened up the cabinet next to his desk, the door had a mirror on the inside as you dapped tissues at your eyes, “You only like it because of what it represents,” you grinned. “Anyone else would be confused and worried about me if they saw me like this.”

Harry watched as you cleaned up and noticed you kept squeezing your thighs together, “What about you, Y/n? Need anything?”

You huffed a laugh, still feeling flustered and on the edge of crazy for doing what you just did, “Nothing I can’t take care of myself. Besides, there’s no time right now. You’ve got a conference call in a few minutes and I need to run these documents to the other guys before they leave.”

He stood up, following you to the door and stopping you before you could step out, “Will you come find me before you leave today?”

You bit your lip and nodded, “I always do, don’t I?”

Harry pushed a laugh out through his nose and nodded, “You’re right. You do. See you in a while then?”

You opened the door and smiled at him, “Of course, Mr. Styles.”

. . .

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[luveline]

reader getting really stressed out about being pregnant for the first time and so hotch just makes her sit down and he totally pampers her for the day?? idk u asked for hotch reqs and this is just the first thing i squeezed out my brain

thank you for requesting <3 fem, 1.2k

There are many things that come with being pregnant. Joy, for sure, but hardship and doubt overwhelmingly. You’re always treating an ailment you didn’t expect to have or worrying that things won’t be ready —that you won’t be ready. 

You’ve developed a bad habit. You can’t stop picking at your hands. Your skin is drier since you’ve been pregnant and the further along you get, the worse it becomes. You scratch at a dry patch between your fingers, wince when it hurts, but continue until there’s no dry skin left to pick, just raw soreness. It’s the first time you’ve made yourself bleed. 

“Are you doing it again?” Aaron asks from the hallway.

You drop your guilty hands down and turn away from his approach. “No, I’m not.” 

“You are, aren’t you?” he asks, a smile in his voice. His hand is warm where he takes your shoulder, turning you to face him. “Show me.” 

“No.” 

“Show me,” he says again, not asking. 

You were supposed to be doing the dishes, but you’d noticed your baby bump was getting in the way, which was oddly beautiful for a few seconds, but was quickly just another imposition in a day full of small annoyances. It is never going to get any easier, your stomach will continue to grow as the baby grows and your body accommodates her, and when you do have her you’ll have to find a way to wash dishes with her held to your chest or on your hip. And it’s lovely, it’s what you signed up for, you can’t wait to be a mom and love your baby, but that’s a big change, too. 

Now you're tail-spin panicking about your life and your hands take the brunt of it. Aaron can’t stop you, but he always tries. 

“I can’t understand why you do this,” he says, parting your fingers gently to assess the damage, “it must hurt. Can you stop?” 

He asks with a mixture of humour and fondness, his eyes on yours and a small smile playing on his lips to encourage a better mood. You don’t have much to give, but you smile back. 

“I know I shouldn’t pick it,” you say. 

“But it’s hard to stop,” he surmises, bringing your hand to his mouth for a soft peck against the back of it, far from your broken skin. 

“I’m just worried.” 

“Oh, I know,” he says, pulling at your hand as he takes your hip in his other and drags you into him. Your bump immediately blocks the way, but bodies are soft, and he keeps on pulling until you’re squished together. 

He smells like something particular. Not cologne or deodorant, not soap or laundry detergent. You can’t put your finger on the scent, your cheek pressed against his shoulder and your nose to his neck, thinking. It’s a sugary smell, but it’s cloying, too, like you’d touch the smell and have a residue on your fingers.

“I changed the air freshener in the bathroom,” he says quietly, his face turned down to yours. 

You don’t bother asking how he knows what you’d been thinking. He’s your mind reader. 

“It was making me feel sick,” you say unnecessarily. 

“I know. Let’s go sit down, my girl.” 

My girl, you think, not sure if you should roll your eyes or hug him tighter. 

You let him lead you from the kitchen to the living room, where he helps you down onto the nice couch, much too nice for babies. You can’t imagine it will stay very clean, but perhaps you’re being cynical. Still, you lean back against the cushions and rub your cheek into clean leather. 

Aaron takes the faux rabbit fur throw from the armrest and shakes it out over you with care, tucking it under your legs, and kissing your cheek as he secures it behind your back. All tucked in, he holds your hands together atop the blanket to encourage you to feel the texture. It’s a good distraction from picking at your hands, which he knows. Aaron knows everything. 

“What do we need?” he asks. “A drink? Dinner’s easy tonight, I’ve promised Jack we’ll make lasagne. Does that sound good to you?” 

You’re honestly not sure. You're quiet for a moment too long. “Sorry,” you frown. 

“I can make you anything you want. It doesn’t bother me.” 

“I feel a little like I’m acting over the top about this.” You’re pregnant. Millions and millions and millions of women have been pregnant. 

“About what?” he asks, sitting beside you on the couch, your blanket untucking under his legs. “Being tired? You can’t decide.” 

“About everything, I guess.” 

“Well, when you figure out what it is that’s making this,” —he puts a hand to your belly— “over the top, you can let me know.” 

You lift your chin. He kisses you soundly. 

It’s nice to be loved like this. 

“What’s up with my baby?” he asks, giving your stomach a soft rub. “Is she moving today?” 

You lean back and he understands that to mean he should feel lower, where you can feel the baby’s weight more clearly. “Not much moving. She gave me a good kick earlier.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I think so.” 

He feels along the bottom of your stomach politely. It’s a little funny, the baby wouldn’t exist without him being rather less polite, but it’s also lovely. You can trust him to be a great father because he’s already an adoring husband. If he treats you with a never ending supply of tender caring and soft touches, it’s easy to picture how he’ll treat your girl. You’ve never once doubted him, and he’s never hurt you. You don’t think he could. 

“There?” he asks, putting his hand to the right side of the bump. 

You can’t be totally certain, but you’re sure he’s right. “Right there, handsome.” 

Things are far less stressful to think of when he’s near. He reminds you in something as small as a thumb to your belly that everything will be taken care of. You’re not half as alone as you feel, and neither is your baby. Aaron can do the dishes while you’re unable. He’d do them even if your only reason was that you didn’t want to. 

“Hello,” he says, charmed, eyes glowing with excitement as you encourage your shirt up over your stomach for a better view. Aaron places his hand to your naked skin, palm hot. “I love you.” 

He has to tap you under the chin for you to know who it is he’s talking to. “I love you, too,” you say quickly. 

He smiles, before his attention falls completely to your stomach once again. “And you, sweetheart. I love you. Can you say hello?” 

He has to talk for a while, but eventually your baby moves. 

Your shoulders relax. You close your eyes and let him murmur to you both, peaceful for a desperately needed half an hour.

[softspiderling]

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

rafe: i really fucked up.

rafe: i miss you

Your laughter died in your throat when the your phone lit up with the new text notifications. Clearing your throat, you turned your phone around, screen faced down, pasting on a smile, but JJ immediately noticed your mood change.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” you answered, giving him a tight smile, wincing a bit. Even to your own ears, your voice sounded off.

JJ smiled at you sadly, reaching around to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. You really liked him. He was nothing like Rafe. JJ was fun, easygoing, chill. No one has ever made you laugh so hard like he did. But then again, he was nothing like Rafe.

“It’s okay if you want to go back to him, you know,” he started. Your eyes widened and you quickly shook your head.

“What? No way. Where did that come from?”

JJ let out a sigh, leaning back on the couch, running his hand through his already messy hair. He was beautiful. And you really really wished that you could love him the way you did Rafe. It would make everything so much easier.

“He’s a dick. Don’t get me wrong,” JJ chuckled dryly. “But I can tell that you still…”

Care for him?

Love him?

Hate him?

All of the above.

JJ didn’t finish his sentence, letting out an angry breath with a headshake. “Look, I’m really into you. But I know this isn’t going anywhere if you’re still thinking about him… So maybe…. Maybe you should just get back to him. See that he’s not really the guy for you. And when you’ve finally realized that-”

When.

Not if.

When.

“You should give him a call.”

You only sat there, stunned, unsure of what to say and JJ lifted his head to look at you, giving you a wry smile.

“Don’t look at me like that. You’re only making this harder.”

He leaned in, slowly, pressing his soft lips against your, kissing you so gently, like he was scared you’d pull away. But you kissed him back, your hand coming up to cup the back of his neck. But JJ laid his hand on yours, slowly pulling away. You opened your eyes, not even aware that you had closed them and JJ winked at you, slowly dropping your hand.

“You know where to find me, yeah?”

With those words, JJ got up, disappearing into his bedroom, the door shutting behind him, leaving you by yourself. You sat there for a while, contemplating whether you should follow JJ into his room or leave, knowing that the choice had much bigger consequences. You looked at the closed door, before you got up, your feet automatically walking you out of the shabby trailer. You walked in the darkness, hoping you would get to the main street without walking headfirst into a tree, when the headlights of a car pulled into the unpaved road. Blinking, you raised your hand, covering your eyes from the blinding light, when the engine was turned off, a car door opening. Foot steps came closer, and for a second, you were scared, until you felt familiar hands curl around your wrist.

“Baby…”

You let out a sigh, looking up to see your ex boyfriend.

“Rafe, what are you doing here?”

Rafe’s mouth was downturned, and in a familiar move, he lifted a hand to push your hair back gently.

“Didn’t you get my messages?” he murmured quietly, in the privacy of your presence. “I’m sorry. I fucked up…”

You scoffed, turning your head away, staring into the dark woods.

“I…” you broke off. “I was with JJ,” you then said, hoping you’d anger him, to give yourself a reason to leave him. For real this time.

Rafe clenched his jaw and he nodded quickly. “Yeah. I know. Why do you think I’m here?”

“He’s… Different. He’s not like you.”

“I know.”

Rafe didn’t make any sign of defending himself, or starting an argument with you. Which was fair. You knew who he was when you first started dating him and what was the use of comparing himself to JJ?

You let out a shaky breath, before turning to look at him.

“If you ever do anything like that again, I swear on my life you’ll never see me again,” you said, and Rafe started smiling at your words, nodding his head.

“Yeah, yeah. Of course baby, it’ll never happen again,” he promised, cupping your cheek, leaning down to kiss you, his lips pressing against yours urgently, like he was drowning and you were the oxygen.

In the quiet stillness of the night, you found yourself falling back into the familiar rhythm of his touch, the familiar taste of his lips, knowing you made the right decision. JJ was never going to be like Rafe and that was exactly the point.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

author's note: i wanted to write something fun. oh well. maybe next time

[lostsoulofdragon]

some small headcanons I got for the forest god au by @llamagoddessofficial

Please note that all the things stated down there are NOT canon, but headcanons I made up as I aggressively scourged down every bit of information I found about this au, thank you very much :)

also I’ll be heavily focusing on my favorite boy Skull (I’ll just call him Horror for now because I can handle it better) here, because why not, I love him 

Sans is not opposed of letting humans do their thing. If they wander his territory, they wander his territory. He’s even turned humans fae if they showed devotion to him. Some have started a cult about him, and he finds it amusing enough to let it continue. And hey, they even protect his forest FOR HIM, so all he really has to do is care for the fae and animals, not if trees get cut down or rivers get dammed. He can just sit back and relax, and have the enjoyment of humans running around for him. He doesn’t consider it to be selfish- heck, he never showed himself to them, he didn’t start the cult. That’s on them.

 He viewed the cult as… family, to some degree. After all, he turned some into his kind. After the forest of a fellow deity was lost t the humans and then the deities wrath, he watched the cult fall apart. They left his forest, leaving him to feel abandoned by them. He TRUSTED them. He never showed himself to the most of them, but he still LIKED them. They were like the most of family he ever had. And now they were gone.

Red likes humans. We all know that. But over the centuries, as they evolved, he watched them closely. So closely, that when you are fortunate enough to enter his core domain, you are faced with ancient human machines. Old pictures of random people in surprisingly good health for being tucked away in a tree in the middle of a forest. If you want to get an item of yours back after loosing it in the forest, you must trade it with him (dipping into the fae aspect here, hehe). He allows humans to stay in his domain, at least at its edges. But those that live there whisper about how many things go missing regularly. That bird that grasped your hunting knife as you left it unsupervised? Sent by the local deity. The fox pulling a bag of different tools? Reds personal thief. The deer eyeing the self made pouch of multiple layers- you get the idea.

Horror wasn’t always a hulking multilegged creature that resembles beasts. Before his rage took over, he was a humanoid deity, like the others. He allowed humans to wander through his territory and hunt and forage to a certain extent, and those that exhausted their stay just wouldn’t find any more. No more berries on the sides of the path, no more deer trails to follow. Similar to Red, he finds humans intriguing, but in a slightly different way. While Red wants to know all about the human race, Horror is content with letting them into his forest without having them fear for their safety. He allows them to hunt and forage, but no one dares to set up a permanent home there. A camp for the night, sure, but anything that indicates a longer stay than a full moon cycle will be left without food or other resources soon enough, alongside great rain and extreme temperatures that only worsen the longer the human stay.

Anyone who dares exhaust their stay even AFTER he told his animals to evade the human, made the plants temporarily close their flowers when the human was around… they learn to never upset a god the hard way. Every step they take makes water seep into their boots that never dry again. Every plant they decide to pick, it either wilts before they can consume it, or it makes them sick. The animals they slaughter put up a vicious fight. Arrows don’t harm the animals anymore. The meat turns bad in a heartbeat, or it infects the hunter with diseases or parasites. Horror allows humans to redeem themselves if they move out when he tells them, but if you decide to exhaust his hospitality even after his warning signs? You have been cast out for your life.

Horror liked his fae-underlings. He allowed them to toy with humans, but only to a certain degree. He refrained from turning humans to fae, because they could get the wrong idea. But there are stories about a certain human who was granted a special connection to his forest, and his forest alone.

[xfgpng]

𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲, 𝐢’𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐟 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 —

— : [ nsfw ] car sex, dacryphilia, pet names, unprotected sex, spanking, riding + jean is so whipped

— : wc : 766

he likes to pretend he’s not a softy. he doesn’t need his friends teasing him anymore than they already do and he definitely doesn’t need them knowing how good your pussy makes him feel.

he’s so whipped for you. he really does love everything about you but there’s something so sinful about the way you grip and clench around him. the way you whisper in his ear and kiss your way up his neck to his lips. he’s so horny around you even when you’re doing the most mundane things.

jean is not the submissive type and he’s always the one in control but he’s never really been able to deny you anything and when it comes to fucking you? he makes sure to keep you more than satisfied.

the first time it happened, he hadn’t even been aware of it. he was moaning louder than usual, head tossed back as you rode him his the backseat of his car. you were an impatient thing, always getting your way.

he could feel his toes curling in his shoes, grip around your hips so tight it hurt. you felt heavenly around him, bouncing up and down with so much energy, the poor man was surprised at his own ability to keep up with you.

“fuck baby, fuck” he whines, a sob wracking through his entire body that he shakes, the muscles in his abdomen clenching and unclenching with the intensity. it shocks you that you end up cumming, head tucked in the crook of his neck.

it wasn’t until you were pulling back that you saw his face. pretty eyes glass from the way he had teared up. he was biting his lip hard so you lean in to kiss his jaw softly.

“you okay baby?” you whisper, wrapping his arm around his neck as the other hand came up to wipe his eyes and cup his jaw. he really was so handsome.

“y-yeah” he nods, bottom lip quivering as he tried to catch his breath. he was so embarrassed and he didn’t know why. he had never felt that good in his life and he knows he’s never cried just from sex.

“aw sweetheart” you coo, “it’s okay, you made me feel so good”

you placed soft kisses across his face and you slowly moved your hips. the slow grinding with his cock still nestled inside you caused him to whine against your lips.

“shhh” you said gently, “let me take care of you”

he loved aftercare more than he cared to admit. you were so gentle and soft and he knew he’d make it up to you as soon as he calmed down.

sex with you was so intense that he found himself whimpering and tearing up whenever you sucked him off. kissing and sucking your way down to his balls. he was so in love with you that it hurt to think about.

jean was obsessed it almost scared him.

“so good” you gasp, gripping the pillow beneath you as he fucked into you hard and fast. he needed to feel all of you, pulling the condom off when you begged him to. he was more than happy to cum inside you.

“i know” he groans, slapping your ass hard. it sent a shiver up your spine so he did it a few more times until you were the one crying for him.

he could feel you creaming his cock and he would make a mental note to record the next time he fucked you. it wasn’t enough for him to just burn the images of you like this in his mind. he needed to watch it over and over to see you like this.

just for him.

you weren’t any better yourself. it turned you on to know you could reduce jean to a crying, whimpering mess. it was always amusing to watch him lose himself while he fucked you like he didn’t love you. his eyes would shine bright with unshed tears and he’d bite his bottom lip, the inside of his cheek or you to stop himself from sobbing as he came.

you loved to watch him whine when you rode him. he couldn’t hide from you as you gripped his jaw, kissing his lips every once in a while to watch him squirm. he was so embarrassed and you loved it.

when he was cumming, it was the only time jean showed any signs of being a little submissive. you had no idea just what you did to him but he’d never complain.

he hoped it would never change.

[lila-lou]

✨His true fate - Part 30/?✨

Summary: Jensen hasn't been happy for years. But it seems almost impossible for him to escape. After another nasty argument between him and his wife, he decides to visit his ´former´ best friend for his birthday. Back in Austin, an encounter awaits him that will turn his life completely upside down.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, Language, age gap, angst, fluff

Word Count: 7782

A/N: English isn’t my first language, please be lenient. 💙

A while later, Jensen stepped behind Danneel into her hotel room, feeling the weight of the evening bearing down on him. He was tired—tired of the endless back and forth, tired of the emotional tug-of-war, and tired of pretending that things were okay when they clearly weren’t. But before he could dwell too long on his weariness, he heard the familiar patter of small feet and a chorus of excited voices.

"Dad!", JJ and the twins shot toward him, their faces lighting up with excitement the moment they spotted him. Instantly, Jensen’s exhaustion melted away as his kids wrapped their arms around his legs and torso, jumping up to hug him. He knelt down, scooping them up into his arms as best as he could, grinning despite everything.

“Hey, hey!”, Jensen laughed, hugging them tightly. “I missed you guys”.

JJ was the first to pull back, looking up at him with a mischievous grin. “We missed you too, Dad! We were waiting forever!”, she exaggerated, her hands gesturing wildly, as if they’d been waiting hours longer than they actually had.

“Forever, huh?”, Jensen teased, ruffling her hair. “Well, I’m here now”.

The twins clung to him, babbling over each other about their day, their toys, and everything he had missed while he had been with Danneel. His heart swelled with love for them, the stress of the evening fading into the background. For these few moments, it was just him and his kids—no tension, no arguments, no looming decisions. Just them.

Danneel stood by the door, watching the reunion with a quiet expression. She didn’t interrupt, giving him this moment with the kids, and for once, Jensen was grateful. It wasn’t often that they had moments of peace like this, and he wasn’t about to let anything spoil it.

After a few minutes, Jensen stood up, his kids still clinging to him. “So”, he said, looking around the room, “what’s the plan for the rest of the night? What have you guys been up to?”.

JJ’s face lit up as she tugged at his arm. “We were watching a movie, but we can start over since you’re here now! Please?”.

Jensen chuckled, glancing at Danneel, who shrugged slightly, as if to say, it’s your call.

“Sure, why not?”, he said, turning back to his kids. “Let’s watch it together”.

They scrambled back toward the couch, the twins chattering excitedly as JJ grabbed the remote to restart the movie. Jensen settled onto the couch, pulling them close as they nestled against him, their energy contagious.

For a brief moment, as the movie started playing, everything felt… normal. Like they were just a family enjoying a movie, without the weight of divorce and custody hanging over them. Jensen allowed himself to relax, to be present in this moment with his kids, knowing that this was what it was all for—the long hours, the hard conversations, the compromises. It was for them, to make sure they had this stability.

Danneel sat down across from them, her expression still neutral but less sharp than earlier. She didn’t say much, just watched the movie quietly, letting the evening play out in peace.

Meanwhile, you sat with Jared and Misha at a quiet bar tucked away in a corner, the low hum of conversation around you barely registering in your mind. Dinner had finished over an hour ago, and the three of you had decided to stick around for drinks, waiting for any sign from Jensen. But as time dragged on, you couldn't help but feel the weight of his absence pressing down on you.

Jared was watching you closely, noticing your distant gaze as you stared blankly at the condensation on your glass. He leaned forward and gently shoved your drink closer to you, offering a small, encouraging smile. “You’re gonna want to finish that before it gets warm”, he teased lightly, though you could hear the concern in his voice.

Misha, sipping on his cocktail, shot Jared a glance before turning his attention to you. “You okay?”, he asked, his tone softer than usual, as if he could sense the tension building inside you.

You forced a smile, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine”, you replied, though your heart wasn’t in it. The truth was, you weren’t fine. It had been hours, and there was still no word from Jensen. You knew he was with Danneel and the kids, that this was important, but the uncertainty was starting to wear on you. You tried not to let it show, not wanting to come off as clingy or unreasonable, but the waiting was harder than you’d expected.

Jared raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “Look, I know this isn’t exactly how you pictured the night going”, he said, leaning back in his chair, “but you know how it is with the kids. They’re probably watching some Disney movie, and Jensen’s caught up in it”.

Misha nodded in agreement, setting his glass down. “Yeah, I mean, if he’s with the kids, that’s all the explanation you need. He probably got sucked into ‘Frozen’ or ‘Toy Story’ and lost track of time”.

You let out a soft laugh at Misha’s joke, knowing that he was probably right. “Yeah, you’re probably right”, you said, your voice a little lighter now.

Jared, sensing that you needed a distraction, leaned in closer. “Look, I know it’s hard, but trust me—Jensen’s all in with you. He’s dealing with a lot right now, but that doesn’t mean he’s forgetting about you”.

You glanced at Jared, appreciating his attempt to ease your mind, but a part of you couldn’t help but feel a little restless. “I know he is”, you replied, sighing softly. “It’s just… I hate waiting around like this, not knowing what’s going on”.

Misha offered you a reassuring smile. “It’s understandable. But you know Jensen—if something was wrong, he’d let you know. He’s probably just caught up with the kids, and that’s something we can’t fault him for”.

You nodded, knowing they were both right. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Jensen or his commitment to you—it was just the limbo that made you uneasy. You wanted to hear from him, to know that everything was okay, and that the evening hadn’t turned into some drawn-out confrontation with Danneel. But as the minutes ticked by, you tried to push those worries to the back of your mind.

“He’ll be here soon. In the meantime, let’s finish these drinks and try not to stress, yeah?”.

You smiled gratefully at Jared, feeling a little more grounded. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, guys”.

Misha grinned, lifting his glass. “To patience, then”, he said, raising a toast.

You clinked your glass with theirs, taking a sip of your drink, trying to let yourself relax. Even though Jensen hadn’t called yet, you reminded yourself that he was likely caught up with his kids, just as Jared and Misha had said. He’d be there soon.

What you didn’t know was that, at that very moment, Jensen had fallen asleep on the couch with his kids curled up beside him. He hadn’t meant to, but after the long day and the emotional exhaustion of dealing with Danneel, the warmth and comfort of having his kids close had lulled him into a deep sleep. For now, he was completely unaware of the time that had passed, unaware that you were waiting for him.

Eventually, Jared and Misha walked you back to your hotel room, both trying to lift your spirits as best they could. They had been great company all evening, but as the hours dragged on and there was still no word from Jensen, your unease had grown. You’d texted him a few times, just to let him know where you were, hoping for some sort of response—anything to indicate he hadn’t forgotten. But still, nothing.

“He’ll probably be here any minute”, Jared reassured you with a confident smile, even though the clock was ticking later than anyone had expected.

Misha nodded in agreement. “Yeah, he’s probably feeling guilty right now for not checking his phone. He’s going to show up, don’t worry”.

You smiled at them, appreciating the support, but the anxious knot in your stomach had only tightened. “I hope so. Thanks, you guys, for tonight. I know it wasn’t the plan”.

“Anytime”, Jared said, giving your shoulder a comforting squeeze. “Get some rest, and Jensen will be knocking at your door before you know it”.

Misha added with a wink, “If not, just send me after him”.

You managed a soft chuckle at that, but deep down, you were more worried than amused. You bid them both goodnight and entered your room, closing the door softly behind you. The room felt too quiet now, the air thick with uncertainty. You paced for a bit, checking your phone again—still no response. You sighed, trying to push the unease aside, but the silence on the other end felt heavy.

Meanwhile, back in Danneel’s hotel room, Jensen and the kids were still fast asleep. Jensen’s body slouched slightly on the couch, his kids curled up beside him, their small arms wrapped around him in peaceful slumber. His phone, placed precariously between his legs, had vibrated several times throughout the evening, but he hadn’t stirred. The exhaustion from the day had knocked him out cold, completely unaware of the missed messages and calls.

Danneel, however, wasn’t asleep. She lay in her bed across the room, watching the scene unfold. She had been awake for a while, her thoughts swirling. Watching Jensen sleep with the kids, she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of something—jealousy, resentment, or maybe just a reminder of what they had lost. But as the phone continued to vibrate in his lap, her curiosity grew.

With a glance at Jensen to make sure he was still out cold, Danneel quietly slipped out of bed and padded over to the couch. The phone buzzed again, lighting up briefly as it vibrated against the fabric of his jeans. She leaned over, careful not to wake him or the kids, and caught a glimpse of the screen. Though the phone was locked, one thing was clear: your name kept flashing with every new notification. Three missed messages from Y/N.

Danneel’s eyes narrowed as she straightened up, her mind racing. She had never heard your name before in the context of Jensen, not in any conversation, not even as a passing mention.

Danneel’s curiosity only deepened as she stared at Jensen’s phone, your name flashing on the screen like a beacon. She had pieced together enough to know you were important to Jensen, but not knowing exactly who you were was driving her mad. The phone was locked, so there was no easy way for her to get the information she was dying to uncover—a picture, a detail, something that would help her put a face to the name.

Frustrated but unwilling to risk waking Jensen or the kids, Danneel silently slipped back to her bed, her mind racing. Who were you? How long had this been going on, and why hadn’t she known about it sooner? Jensen was a private person, but this was different. He’d hidden you well, but now that she knew your name, it felt like a key to unraveling everything.

Lying there in the dark, she couldn’t shake the urge to know more. She wanted to see what kind of woman Jensen had chosen after her, someone who had clearly been important enough to text him multiple times late into the night. What did you look like? Were you younger? Prettier? Someone more… her type?

A part of her burned with jealousy—whether it was toward Jensen for moving on or toward you for stepping into a life she once controlled, she wasn’t sure. But the feeling gnawed at her, pulling her into thoughts she hadn’t allowed herself to fully acknowledge. Was she just bitter because she couldn’t keep things together with Jensen? Or was it that seeing him with someone new made her face a reality she wasn’t ready for?

Danneel glanced back over at Jensen. It was a peaceful scene, one that reminded her of how things used to be when they were still a family, before everything had fallen apart. But now, with your name in the picture, she couldn’t help but feel like an outsider to that peace—like she had been replaced.

She knew there was no way she’d get anything out of his phone tonight, but she wasn’t done. She’d find a way to learn more about you, to see who this woman was who had apparently captured Jensen’s attention. Danneel wasn’t the kind to sit back and let things unfold without her knowing the full story.

For now, she had to be patient. She lay back down, though her mind refused to quiet. The knowledge that Jensen had someone else, that you were out there waiting for him, only added to the mess in her head. As she stared at the ceiling, she made a quiet promise to herself: she would find out more about you.

She wasn’t going to let this go.

Back in your hotel room, the silence was deafening. You sat on the edge of the bed, staring at your phone, hoping for some kind of response. You had texted Jensen multiple times, your worry building with each unanswered message.

Why hadn’t Jensen responded? Even a quick message, just to let you know he was okay, would have been enough. You tried not to let your mind wander too far into negative territory, but it was hard not to wonder if something was wrong—or if there was more to the situation with Danneel than he had let on.

With a deep sigh, you set your phone on the nightstand, trying to convince yourself to get some rest. Jensen would explain everything when he could. He was with his kids, and that was important. But as you lay there, the uncertainty gnawed at you, making sleep feel like a distant possibility.

You pulled the blanket up, staring at the ceiling in the dim light, your mind racing with thoughts you wished you could quiet. You wanted to trust that everything was okay, but as the hours ticked by, you couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that something had shifted. Something you didn’t yet understand.

It wasn’t until Arrow padded across the room, her little voice mumbling something about needing to pee, that Jensen stirred from his deep sleep. Groggily, he blinked his eyes open, the soft glow from the hotel room barely illuminating the space around him. The weight of JJ was still pressed against his side, her head resting on his arm. He glanced over and saw Danneel fast asleep in the big hotel bed, Zeppelin curled up beside her, oblivious to the world.

Jensen rubbed his face with his free hand, the fog of sleep slowly lifting. That’s when he noticed his phone, still wedged between his legs. His eyes widened as he saw the screen light up with missed messages from you.

“Fuck”, he cursed under his breath, the realization hitting him all at once.

It was 3 in the morning.

Arrow, too sleepy to notice his dad’s panic, shuffled into the bathroom, leaving Jensen alone in the quiet room with the weight of the situation crashing down on him. He felt a pang of guilt ripple through him—he hadn’t meant to fall asleep. The plan had been to check on the kids, spend a bit of time with them, and then head out to meet you. But now, hours had passed, and you’d been left waiting.

Carefully, he adjusted JJ, making sure not to wake her as he reached for his phone. The missed calls and messages stared back at him like a silent reprimand. You had texted him multiple times, probably wondering where he was and why he hadn’t responded. His heart sank as he scrolled through them:

You: Hey, just wanted to check in and see how things are going with the kids. You: We’re heading back to the hotel now. You: Is everything okay? Let me know when you get a chance. You: I’m starting to get worried. Haven’t heard from you. Please text me.

Jensen’s heart clenched at the last one. You must have been worried sick, wondering why he hadn’t responded. He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated with himself for letting things get this far. His mind raced with how he was going to explain the situation to you. You knew he’d been with the kids, but this wasn’t what he’d planned. And now, it was 3 a.m., and he wasn’t even sure if you were still awake.

He shot a quick glance toward Danneel, who was still sound asleep, and sighed. This whole night had gone sideways. Trying to move as quietly as possible, Jensen extricated himself from JJ’s sleeping form, laying her gently on the couch before grabbing his phone. He stepped out into the hallway, closing the door softly behind him to avoid waking anyone up.

Standing there in the dim light of the hallway, he tapped out a quick text to you:

Jensen: I’m so sorry. I fell asleep with the kids. Just woke up now. I didn’t mean to leave you hanging like this. I’ll explain everything, but I wanted you to know I’m okay.

He hesitated for a moment, wondering if you were even awake to read the message, but he hit send anyway. It was the least

But you were already asleep, your phone lying untouched on the nightstand, its screen dark and silent. Jensen quietly gathered his things, careful not to wake the kids, who were already fast asleep again. Arrow had climbed back onto the couch beside JJ, their small bodies curled together in peaceful slumber.

Jensen cast a quick glance at Danneel, still sleeping soundly in the large hotel bed, and decided not to linger. There was nothing left to say to her tonight. He slipped out of the room, gently closing the door behind him. His mind was focused now—he needed to get to you, explain everything, and apologize for leaving you in the dark for so long.

As soon as he was outside, the cold air hit him, waking him up a little more. He quickly pulled out his phone, dialing for a taxi. The streets were quiet at this hour, with only a few cars passing by. It didn’t take long for the cab to arrive, and Jensen slipped into the back seat, giving the driver the name of your hotel.

He leaned back against the seat, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

The taxi ride felt longer than it was, the silence in the car giving Jensen too much time to think. His mind wandered, filled with guilt for how the night had unfolded. He could only hope that you’d understand once he explained the situation. He wasn’t the type to leave you hanging, and tonight had been an exception—one he hadn’t anticipated but would make sure didn’t happen again.

When the taxi pulled up outside your hotel, Jensen paid the driver quickly and hurried inside, making his way to the elevator. His steps were quick but quiet as he reached the door to your room.

Jensen stood outside the door to your hotel room, the keycard in his hand, hesitating for a moment. He let out a soft sigh, his shoulders heavy with guilt. He hadn’t meant for the night to turn out this way, and now here he was, creeping in hours later, hoping you’d understand. He swiped the card through the lock and quietly stepped inside, careful not to make any noise.

The room was dim, the soft glow from the streetlights outside casting a faint light across the bed where you lay, curled up in the blankets. You were fast asleep, your breathing soft and even. Jensen paused, watching you for a moment, his heart heavy with the knowledge that he’d let you down tonight.

There were still two hours before his alarm would go off for the second day of the convention. Quietly, Jensen moved to the corner of the room and began to undress. He peeled off his jacket and shirt, setting them on the chair by the desk. His eyes never strayed far from you, the sight of you so peaceful in sleep only deepening his guilt. He wanted to wake you, to apologize and explain, but he couldn’t bring himself to disturb you.

As he slipped out of his jeans, he moved quietly to the edge of the bed, sitting down gently beside you. For a moment, he just watched you, his heart aching. He reached out, carefully brushing a strand of hair away from your face.

As you felt his touch, your eyes fluttered open, blinking heavily as the haze of sleep slowly lifted. It took a moment for you to realize what was happening, your mind still fuzzy with tiredness. You blinked again, and in the dim light of the room, you saw him—Jensen, sitting beside you, his expression etched with guilt and exhaustion.

“Hey”, you whispered, your voice thick with sleep as you tried to gather your bearings. “What time is it?”.

Jensen sighed softly, his hand still resting near your face. “It’s late. A little after three”, he admitted, his voice low and apologetic.

You blinked a few more times, your brain slowly processing the situation. You had fallen asleep waiting for him, unsure of what had happened or why he hadn’t shown up or answered your messages. Now here he was, hours later, looking as guilty as you’d ever seen him.

“You’re just getting in?”, you asked softly, your voice gentle but carrying a hint of the hurt you were feeling.

Jensen nodded, his hand moving to lightly touch your shoulder. “Yeah. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for things to go like this. I…I fell asleep with the kids”, he said, his tone full of regret. “I should’ve texted you earlier, but everything with Danneel and the kids just…it got overwhelming, and then I was out cold”.

You sighed, shifting slightly in bed so you could face him more fully. You weren’t angry, not really. More than anything, you were relieved to see him, to hear him explain. But the lingering feeling of being left in the dark still stung.

"I was worried”, you mumbled softly, pulling the blanket up to cover yourself a little more, almost as if it could shield you from the vulnerability you were feeling. You hated the wave of emotion that came with it—the uncertainty, the waiting, the hurt. You felt stupid for staying up, waiting all evening, and now that he was finally here, the mixture of relief and frustration sat heavy in your chest.

Jensen’s heart twisted as he watched you, the disappointment in your eyes cutting deeper than he expected. He knew he’d messed up. He knew how much his silence must have weighed on you, and seeing you like this made him feel even worse.

“I know”, he murmured, his voice low and filled with regret. His hand gently cupped your cheek, thumb tracing lightly along your skin. “I should have been here. I didn’t mean to leave you waiting, and I’m sorry I made you feel like that”.

You nodded slightly, but you still couldn’t shake the feeling. “I just… I felt stupid, you know? Waiting around, not when you were coming”.

Jensen’s chest tightened at your words. He hated that you felt that way. More than anything, he wanted to make it right, to show you how much you meant to him. The urge to close the space between you, to kiss you, and make you feel loved and secure overwhelmed him in that moment.

Without thinking, Jensen leaned down, his lips brushing yours softly at first, then deeper as if he could pour all his apologies and emotions into that kiss. His hand slipped to the back of your neck, holding you gently but with an intensity that conveyed everything he couldn’t put into words. He wanted you to feel how much you mattered to him, how much you meant.

You kissed him back, hesitantly at first, but the warmth of his touch and the sincerity in the kiss began to chip away at the frustration you had felt. The connection between you two was undeniable, even through the mess of emotions. Slowly, you melted into him, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

Jensen’s hands moved slowly, gently, as he deepened the kiss, his fingertips lightly brushing over your skin. The warmth of his touch sent a soft shiver down your spine, and despite the lingering frustration from earlier, you couldn’t help but let yourself sink into the moment. The intensity of his kiss, the way his hands moved with care and reverence, slowly began to erase the hurt you’d felt.

His hand slid down to the blanket you had pulled up around yourself, and with a gentle tug, he pushed it aside, revealing your body clad only in a thin thong and a small, fitted top. His breath hitched slightly at the sight of you, his eyes darkening with both desire and tenderness. For a moment, he just looked at you, taking in the way your body curved beneath him, but it wasn’t just lust in his gaze—it was something deeper, something that spoke to how much he wanted to make things right between you.

"God", he whispered softly, his voice thick with emotion as his hand trailed along your side, brushing against the exposed skin of your waist. "You’re so beautiful".

His touch was slow and deliberate, as though he was trying to remind you of how much you meant to him with every stroke of his hand. He leaned down, kissing you again—this time slower, more purposeful—as his hands continued to explore your body with the same delicate care. His fingers traced the line of your hip, slipping under the edge of your top, his touch warm against your skin.

You let out a soft sigh against his lips, your body reacting to the warmth of his closeness, the intimacy of the moment drawing you in further. The lingering hurt you’d felt began to melt away with each tender touch, each gentle kiss. Jensen’s hands moved to lift your top, sliding it up and over your head before tossing it aside. His gaze roamed over you, filled with both admiration and guilt, as if he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to be here with you, despite how he’d messed up.

He leaned down, pressing soft kisses to your collarbone, then lower, trailing down the center of your chest as his hands continued to caress your sides, pulling you even closer to him. Every touch, every kiss was an unspoken apology, a silent promise that he was here, fully present with you now.

You ran your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer as his lips explored your skin. The earlier frustration was gone now, replaced by the intensity of the connection you shared with him since day one. Jensen’s hand slipped lower, tracing the curve of your hip, pulling you tighter against him.

He pulled back slightly, his gaze meeting yours, his breath coming a little heavier now. "I love you", he whispered, his voice raw and sincere, as though he needed you to know it in this moment, needed you to feel how much you meant to him.

"I love you too", you whispered back, your hand still resting in his hair, tugging him gently back toward you. You pulled him into another deep, lingering kiss, and in that moment, all the worry and hurt from earlier faded, leaving only the warmth and closeness of being with him.

Jensen’s lips moved softly against your skin, the warmth of each kiss sending shivers through you. As he kissed down your body, his breath grew heavier, but so did the emotion behind his every touch. When he reached the waistband of your panties, he paused, resting his forehead gently against your lower stomach.

“I’m sorry”, he murmured, his voice thick with regret. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like you weren’t important… like you didn’t matter. You mean everything to me”. His lips brushed lightly over your skin again, soft and reverent.

The sincerity in his words cut through the haze of intimacy, grounding the moment in something deeper. It wasn’t just about desire—this was Jensen trying to make amends, to show you how deeply he cared for you beyond just physical attraction. His hands moved gently along your thighs, gripping softly but with a tenderness that matched his words.

“I never want to hurt you”, he whispered, looking up at you, his fingers gently tracing the outline of your waistband. “I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere”.

Your heart clenched at his words, and you could see how much he meant it. His guilt, his need to make things right, it all reflected in the way he touched you, like he was pouring every ounce of love he had into each movement. His fingers slowly dipped under the waistband of your panties, and he kissed your hips softly, as though asking for permission, waiting for your approval before moving any further.

You let out a soft breath, running your fingers through his hair, gently urging him on. “I know, Jensen”, you whispered, your voice filled with affection and reassurance. “I trust you”.

That seemed to be all the reassurance he needed. Jensen kissed you again, lower this time, his lips brushing the sensitive skin just above the waistband of your panties. His hands moved deliberately, carefully sliding them down your hips, his eyes never leaving yours as he did.

Jensen’s actions were deliberate and filled with the sincerity of his earlier words. This wasn’t just about physical intimacy; it was his way of bridging the emotional gap.

As he gently spread your legs more, allowing himself to get comfortable between them, his eyes never left yours. The vulnerability in his gaze mirrored your own, creating a deep connection that went beyond the physical. It was as if, in this moment, all the frustration, the waiting, and the uncertainty were melting away, leaving only the raw, genuine affection you both shared.

“You mean everything to me”, Jensen whispered again, his voice barely audible but filled with unwavering conviction. “I don’t want to lose you. Not like this”.

This was how he expressed the depth of his emotions, how he communicated the things he struggled to say with words. You knew him well enough by now to understand that moments like these were his way of showing just how much you meant to him, even if the way he went about it was slightly unconventional—maybe even a little twisted.

You bit your lip, feeling the warmth of his body and the intensity of his gaze. There was no denying the connection between you, the way his every touch seemed to erase the distance that had built up over the evening. The frustration, the worry—they were dissolving, replaced by the unspoken promise that he was here, fully present, and committed to making things right.

“Jensen…”, you whispered, unsure of how to put into words the mix of emotions swirling inside you. It wasn’t just the relief of him being there; it was the reassurance that, despite everything, he truly did appreciate and care for you. You could feel it in every kiss, in every touch.

Jensen’s lips moved with deliberate tenderness, pressing softly against your most intimate spot. The warmth of his kiss sent a rush of sensations through you, blending seamlessly with the lingering emotions of the evening.

You let out a soft sigh, the mixture of relief and desire swirling within you. The earlier frustrations and worries seemed to dissolve under the sincerity of his actions.

Your hands ran through his hair, pressing him softly closer as he dipped his tongue gently, pressing it flat against your clit.

You moaned quietly, the sound a soft affirmation of the connection you both were rekindling. Jensen responded by pulling you closer, his hands gently resting on your hipbones, guiding you into a more intimate embrace.

Jensen’s tongue moved with deliberate patience, his movements slow and intentional as he began to explore your most intimate spot. Each gentle lick was accompanied by a soft murmur of apology and affection, his eyes never leaving yours.

You felt a warm flush spread through your body, the earlier frustrations and worries melting away more and more under the soothing rhythm of his touch.

Jensen’s hands moved gently along your thighs, his touch both comforting and electrifying. He was attuned to your responses, adjusting his movements to ensure your pleasure. Every lick was slow and deliberate, each one building anticipation and deepening the intimacy between you.

As his actions intensified, the passion overwhelmed your senses. With a breathless whisper, you guided him upwards, your hands trembling slightly as you pulled him closer. He understood your unspoken request instantly; his movements synchronized with your desires as he pushed his boxershorts down, freeing himself.

The moment his lips met yours, the intensity escalated. The taste of yourself on his lips heightened the experience, blurring the lines between your separate existences. As he positioned himself at your entrance, you both paused, sharing a look. Then, with a gentle thrust, he eased inside of you, the depth of his penetration making you cry out softly against his lips. The sensation was overwhelming yet perfect, filling you completely in one fluid motion.

Jensen’s movements were slow, almost reverent, as he began to move within you. Each thrust was measured, designed to bring pleasure and express his apologies and promises non-verbally. His hands, previously tracing paths along your thighs, now cradled your face and ran through your hair, pulling you into a deep, passionate kiss that mirrored the rhythm of his movements.

"I love you”, Jensen mumbled into the kiss, his voice low and filled with emotion. His hand gripped your hip firmly, holding you in place as his thrusts became slightly rougher, each movement still deeply reverent but now driven by a growing intensity.

Your response was a soft moan into his mouth, your arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him even closer if possible. The way he said those words, with such profound sincerity, made your heart swell within your chest. It wasn’t just a declaration; it was a reaffirmation of everything he felt, everything he wanted to make up to you.

The sound of your combined breaths filled the room. You could feel every inch of him, every pulse and throb as he moved within you, each thrust meeting a need you hadn’t voiced but he had understood.

The intensity of the moment built with each passing second, the room echoing with the sound of your bodies coming together. His free hand wandered up to caress your cheek, his thumb tracing the line of your jaw as he looked into your eyes. The connection was palpable, a raw and unguarded exchange of emotions that spoke louder than words could.

“You mean everything to me”, Jensen breathed out, each word punctuated by a deep thrust that sent waves of pleasure radiating through you. His gaze held yours, locked in a moment of complete vulnerability and trust.

As Jensen’s movements became even more focused, each thrust seemed to hit just the right spot inside you, his tip brushing against your G-spot with a precision that left you breathless. The intensity of his actions brought waves of pleasure that coursed through your body. His name escaped your lips in a loud moan, the sound filling the room, mingling with the rhythmic sounds of your unity.

Feeling you clench around him, Jensen’s breath hitched, his movements momentarily faltering as he shuddered with the sensations.

Jensen’s hand, which had been caressing your cheek, moved to entwine his fingers with yours, holding them beside your head on the pillow, anchoring you to the moment, to him.

"Look at me”, Jensen urged gently, his voice low and intense. He squeezed your intertwined hands, while his other arm supported him, keeping him elevated just above you. His gaze was unwavering, filled with a mix of raw desire and deep affection, inviting you to connect not just physically, but soulfully as well.

You met his gaze, locking eyes with him as he continued his deliberate, focused movements. The depth of emotion you saw reflected back at you amplified the sensations rippling through your body. In his eyes, you saw not just the physical pleasure, but a profound commitment and an open vulnerability that he shared only with you.

As Jensen maintained eye contact, his thrusts remained slow and measured, each one driving deeper. The intensity of his gaze, coupled with the depth of his strokes, created a crescendo of sensations that threatened to overwhelm you.

“Stay with me”, he breathed, almost as a whisper, as if he was sharing a secret that only you could understand. This simple plea was laden with meaning, reinforcing his desire to remain connected in every way possible.

Your response was a breathless nod.

His gaze drifted momentarily to your chest, watching the subtle movements synchronized with his thrusts. The sight elicited a deeper groan from him as his eyes fluttered closed, a wave of pleasure evident on his face. Then, with a firmer resolve, he pushed deeper, increasing the force slightly.

When his eyes reopened and met yours again, something in his expression had shifted—a raw intensity, a silent plea mixed with the depths of his feelings laid bare. The connection in that look, so charged and so full, tipped you over the edge. You felt the climax build rapidly, an overwhelming rush that seized your entire being.

As you came around him, your eyes locked with his, the world outside melted away. Your body clenched around him, and his response was immediate; his own climax triggered by the intensity of your release. Jensen’s movements slowed as he rode out the waves of his own release, each pulse and throb echoing yours, deeply interconnected.

After a moment, Jensen’s thrusts slowed to a stop.

As Jensen’s movements finally ceased, his grip on your hand loosened, his chest heaving as he fought to catch his breath. His eyes remained closed, lashes fluttering slightly against the high color of his cheeks.

Slowly, his eyes opened, meeting yours once again with a softness that contrasted starkly with the raw intensity from moments before.

Jensen’s hand shifted from yours to trace a gentle line along your jaw, his touch tender as if he were handling something precious. “You okay?”, he asked softly. It was a simple question, but laden with deeper meanings, seeking assurance not just about your physical state but also about the emotional undercurrents of what had just transpired.

You nodded, unable to keep from smiling slightly.

With a soft, lingering kiss on your forehead, Jensen gently pulled out of you, the sudden absence leaving behind a sense of warmth and tenderness. He let himself sink onto the bed beside you, his body still humming with the aftermath of your shared intensity. His hand brushed through his damp hair, pushing it back as he exhaled deeply, still catching his breath.

As you cleaned up, you glanced over at him, his chest still rising and falling with a gentle rhythm, a contented smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Jensen turned his head to face you, his eyes full of affection as he watched you. “I’ll never get tired of moments like this with you”, he murmured, his voice low but filled with sincerity.

You felt a slight blush creeping up your cheeks at Jensen's words, his sincerity catching you off guard in the best way possible. Before you could respond, he gently pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you and pressing your body tightly against his. The warmth of his embrace enveloped you, and for a moment, it felt like the entire world was just the two of you, nestled in this shared, quiet space.

His heartbeat was steady beneath your ear, a comforting rhythm that mirrored the ease of the moment. You let yourself sink into him, your arms finding their way around his waist, holding him as close as he was holding you. The softness of the sheets, the warmth of his skin, and the gentle rise and fall of his chest created a cocoon of calm around you both.

Jensen pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, his lips lingering there for a moment. "I love you", he whispered, the words almost a breath against your hair. It wasn’t the first time he’d said it, but each time felt just as powerful, as if he was reminding you of something constant and unwavering between the two of you.

You tilted your head up slightly to meet his gaze, your heart swelling with affection as you whispered back, "I love you too", The smile that spread across his face in response was pure, filled with the kind of warmth that made everything else fade away.

For a while, you both stayed like that—wrapped up in each other, the quiet hum of the world outside the only sound that occasionally drifted in. There was no rush to move, no need for words to fill the silence. Everything felt right, exactly as it was.

Jensen’s hand absentmindedly traced gentle circles on your back, his touch soothing and familiar. "Let’s just stay like this", he murmured, his voice soft, "for as long as we can".

You nodded against him, your body relaxed in his arms. "I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else".

As you drifted back to sleep, your body curled up against Jensen’s, he lay there wide awake, his mind racing even though the room was peaceful. His heart ached as he watched you sleep so peacefully, your face relaxed and your trust in him evident in the way you clung to him even in your sleep. He gently brushed a strand of hair from your face, careful not to wake you again, his touch soft and reverent.

In the quiet moments that followed, Jensen couldn't shake the heavy weight pressing down on him. You had given him so much—your love, your support, your patience—and yet he felt like he was always falling short. His life had become a series of complications, and somehow, you were constantly caught in the middle of it. The guilt gnawed at him, growing heavier with each passing thought.

He didn’t deserve this level of trust, of unwavering love. Not when he kept disappointing you. Jensen's mind wandered to the countless times his complicated life had interfered—his obligations, his kids, the unresolved issues with Danneel. Every time he thought he was getting things right, something else would fall apart. And yet, through it all, you never wavered. You believed in him, supported him, encouraged him, even when he couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Jensen’s chest tightened with the weight of it all. He couldn’t help but wonder if you deserved more—someone whose life wasn’t so tangled, someone who could give you the stability and simplicity you deserved. The thought of losing you, of not being enough for you, scared him more than anything. But even scarier was the idea that he might hurt you by continuing to drag you through his messy world.

He let out a shaky breath, feeling the lump form in his throat as his eyes lingered on your peaceful face. He loved you more than anything, but how long could you keep giving him so much without him truly being able to give back? He wanted to be the man you deserved, but with everything that weighed on him—the kids, the divorce, the constant demands of his career—he worried that no matter how much he tried, he would always end up falling short.

His hand tightened slightly around your waist, pulling you closer as if to reassure himself that you were still here, still with him. He kissed the top of your head, his lips lingering there as he closed his eyes, trying to push away the suffocating guilt.

"Sorry", he whispered softly, his voice barely audible. It wasn’t something he intended for you to hear—just something he needed to say, even if only to himself. "I´m so fucking sorry". He wished he could do better, be better, for you. But right now, all he could do was hold you close and hope that someday, somehow, he would be able to live up to everything you saw in him.

As the night wore on and the room remained silent, Jensen stayed awake, his mind restless despite the calm around him. He watched you, a mixture of love and guilt swirling inside him, knowing that no matter how complicated things became, he would do whatever it took to keep you in his life—if only he could figure out how to balance the chaos and keep from breaking the heart of the one person he couldn’t bear to lose.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰

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[mountttmase]

Damage Is Done

Note - a bit of Sunday evening pain for you all inspired by this TikTok. I really hope you enjoy this and I would really appreciate some feedback as I need some motivation 😭. Thank you my loves 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 10K

Warnings - Angst and fluff

Here we go

Never had those words had so much meaning before. You felt sick to your stomach as soon as you’d seen them and the waves of uneasiness were rolling through you until you felt suffocated.

You knew it was a possibility but you also knew it wasn’t 100% what your boyfriend of 10 months wanted so you were holding out hope things would change. After every rejected offer a little bit of hope filled your heart that he would be sticking around but this had hit you like a truck as you knew what it meant for the pair of you.

Stupidly enough, you and Mason hadn’t spoken about the possible move. You wanted to be his safe place and whilst you knew what was going on, you kept that topic at the back of your minds but as the months had passed you were wondering if he was keeping you away on purpose. Maybe if once his life changed that meant you no longer were a part of it and the thought was eating you up inside.

There wasn’t much to do but you made sure to tidy the place up a little as a distraction. You knew this was about to be a hard conversation and before you had time to even think about it anymore your buzzer was ringing.

You opened the entrance for him without a word before going to open your door and he was rounding the corner into view. You couldn’t tell what expression he was wearing and you were hoping yours was neutral and when he wrapped you up in his arms on your doorstep and you held onto him as tightly as you could.

You both didn’t move for a while, just held each other and you could feel him relaxing in your arms as your eyes filled with tears. He smelt more like Mason than he ever had and you breathed in his delicious scent before he pulled back slightly so he could drop a kiss on your forehead.

It was clear to see how much lighter he looked, the dark clouds that had been following him around for the last few months had finally made way for the sunshine and you could see the relief sparking in his warm eyes.

‘I take it you’ve seen it’ he whispered, rubbing up and down your back soothingly as you nodded whilst trying to keep your face blank.

‘Let’s go sit’ you whispered, nodding over to your sofa and you let him wonder over so you could shut the door before joining him. He sat down with a thump, his hoodie thrown on the arm of the chair next to him before he opened his arms for you. You knew it wasn’t a good idea but you let yourself melt into him, tucking yourself into his body as you held each other again but his thumb that was slowly stroking across your cheek made you look up at him.

You let him kiss you, gripping onto his shoulders for dear life, trying to memorise the feel of his lips against yours as you weren’t sure how things were about to play out. You wanted the feel of them tattooed on your brain as he softly brushed his tongue against yours but the playful bite of your bottom lip made you smile. It didn’t feel like a goodbye kiss but in your mind all the signs seemed to be pointing that way.

‘How are you feeling?’ You asked him a few moments after, trying to change the subject as your hands rested on his chest whilst his circled around your waist and you could tell even though he was happy he was still a little conflicted

‘I’m not sure, a mix of stuff really. Exhausted but relived. Sad things are over but excited to start over somewhere new. What about you?’

You didn’t know how to answer, burying your head into his neck as he just held you. His words confused you as you weren’t sure why he wanted you to know he was excited to start over without you.

‘It’s okay bubs. You don’t have to worry about anything’ he whispered, kissing your temple lightly. ‘I know it’s a lot and I don’t expect you to drop everything just for me’

There it was, the moment you’d been waiting for. Mason confining had had no intentions of taking you with him or even asking you what you wanted. he was quite happy for you to stay here and be without him. It stung to hear the words finally coming from him though and you gulped down the upset feeling rising in your tummy at that fact he’d made his mind up for the both of you.

‘I should of known this was coming’ you laughed, pulling away from him

‘Wait what?’ He whispered, his brows furrowing as he cocked his head to the side. ‘What’s going on?’

‘I take it you only came to get your stuff? There’s no need for a big goodbye you can just go’ you told him, wanting him out so you could be in your own.

‘What the fuck are you talking about?’

‘You’re leaving, so go’

‘Why are you being like this? I thought-‘

‘Whatever you thought, you thought wrong. You haven’t spoken to me at all about this whole thing and now you’re just moving on. It’s fine I saw it coming a mile off’ you told him, standing up as you knew you were getting angry and upset. You knew you were being a little unreasonable but the fact he hadn’t involved you in any of his transfer or move hurt and you didn’t want to hear him out.

You’d been his distraction throughout all these hard months, but now you were wondering if that’s all you were to him. Now he was through it he was off to start his new life without you and it stung more than you ever thought it could.

‘I can’t believe you. After everything we’ve been through your just gonna chuck me out like this. Without even talking about it?’

‘What’s to talk about? You’ve made your mind up. You wanna leave so leave’

‘I don’t have a choice’ he shouted, standing up to face you but you refused to back down. You didn’t have a reply, unsure as to why he was so upset as he’d said himself he didn’t expect you to follow him so you continued watching him, wondering if you’d get anymore sense out but the small shake of his head made you realise you wouldn’t.

‘I’m going’ he suddenly snapped, walking towards the door without a second look back at you, flinching as you heard the door slam behind him.

This wasn’t how you were expecting things to go, unsure as to why Mason so upset as he’d gotten what he wanted but his reaction had left you feeling a little uneasy so you sat yourself back down in your sofa to take some breaths and clear your mind.

To say Mason was confused would be an understatement.

He’d arrived at your house for the comfort only you could give him but you’d been cold and dismissive as soon as he’d bought the move up and he couldn’t figure out why.

He was ready to reassure you that the pair of you would be fine. That he knew you couldn’t leave right away but he’d make sure the pair of you were looked after and he’d have things ready for you when you could join him but he hadn’t got the chance to tell you. You were too quick to jump in and blame him for something he wasn’t quite sure of right this second.

He didn’t waste any time getting out of the car park though and racing back home, his mind replaying the conversation to try and figure out what had changed. Had he missed something? Did he say something unintentionally? The last few weeks had been a blur and he’d only felt his mind stop racing when he was in your arms so the interaction you’d just had confused the hell out of him.

Thankfully Woody was the only one at his house when he got there, the rest of his family still on the way up, but Woody knew something was wrong immediately.

‘I think she’s just ended things with me, mate’ Mason told him, recounting the whole conversation as Woody listened and tried to see things from your side but he was just as confused as Mason was.

‘Maybe have a day to cool down and message her tomorrow or something?’ He reasoned and mason agreed. Hoping tomorrow he could clear the air slightly and maybe get to the bottom of everything.

The next morning after a fairly awful nights sleep he got to crafting a message for you. He was still hurt and angry and also feeling a little petty about the whole thing so against his better judgment he said somethings he didn’t mean. Hoping to grab your attention and make you want to talk things through but as soon as he hit sent he wondered if he should consulted Woody first.

You were just putting your washing up away when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, fishing it out to reveal Masons name and your heart thudded in your chest at what me might have to say to you. Hoping it would be an apology but you weren’t prepared for what was written.

Was he joking?

You couldn’t even think of a reply, anger filling your mind at how he was making himself out to be the victim, saying his love wasn’t enough for you and to have a nice life. You were still furious with him for leaving you here so you replied in the most childish way you knew before switching your phone off.

Was she joking?

‘Woody, remind me to never take your advice again’

‘What you on about’ he laughed, catching Masons phone that he threw at him so he could read over the message.

‘Not the thumbs up. Damn, that girls cold’

‘That’s one fucking word for it’

‘Look at it this way, at least you know what she’s like now yeah?’

‘Well it’s a bit late now, I wished you would of warned me what she was like before you introduced me to her’ he huffed.

‘She’s never been like this before I swear’

‘I can’t believe I wanted her to move away with me’ Mason mumbled, taking his phone back so he could quickly block your number before throwing it to to the side of him.

This was so unlike you, so unlike what he thought you were and it had him looking back over your whole relationship to try and figure out if he’s missed something in your personality or been blinded by love to overlook all your awful qualities but he couldn’t think of anything. He knew you inside out and this wasn’t you.

You were always so warm and caring, one look from you always made his whole day better and it was breaking his heart that everything seemed to be tainted. His heart felt heavy in his chest as he tried to hold his emotions in and for the most part he had but the realisation that the person he’d placed all his bets on wasn’t who he thought they were made his eyes fill with tears so he face planted the sofa in hopes Woody wouldn’t notice.

The next night he wondered if he’d been too hasty, quickly unblocking your number so if you wanted to reach out to him you could but it seemed as though there was no need for it.

Two months passed and he didn’t hear from you.

He’d settled in up north pretty quickly, moving into a new house after he’d made it back from pre season tour and whilst he tried to make it into a home, it didn’t feel that way without you in it. He felt like a stranger rattling around in a huge house with no one to share it with but you were still silent on your end and he didn’t have the heart to reach out to try and speak to you to be shot down again.

He had no idea you were craving the same thing as he was though. You just wanted to speak to him but you were hurt at the way he’d moved on so quickly and your pride was keeping you away from him.

You couldn’t help but look out for him and how he was doing now, the bright smile on his face breaking your heart as he seemed so much happier without you and even though you were angry with him for not including you in his new life, you were yearning to be back in his presence. The hoodie he left the night you sent him away a constant reminder of what you once had and even though you’d hidden it away in the beginning, you found yourself wearing it more often than not in hopes you could feel close to him and hopefully it would heal your broken heart.

Nothing worked though, even popping to the local cafe where you and Mason would get breakfast as often as you could made you feel awful. You sat in the booth you always liked to go in to make yourself feel a bit closer to him but you just felt sad and even more alone. You were so stuck in a daze though you didn’t feel anyone come up and stand in front of you until they let out a little cough to snap you out of your trance.

‘Woody? What are you doing here?’

‘Could ask you the same question’ he replied, sitting himself opposite you. ‘You’ve been avoiding me’

‘Is that a question or a statement?’

‘It’s a fact’

He was right, you had been avoiding him. You’d known Woody for a few years and he’d introduced to you Mason in the first place but you didn’t have the heart to see him right now. He’d been your biggest supporter and you felt like you’d let him down with the way everything had ended. You knew he’d tried reaching out a few times but you didn’t have the energy or heart speak to him as he was too close to Mason.

‘I probably shouldn’t say this, but you were cold as fuck with that whole thumbs up thing’ he laughed and you felt your face heat up as he recounted the last bit of contact you and Mason had. ‘Like it was shit of you but I was impressed’

‘Shit of me? He’s the one that wanted to start a new life without me, it’s not like I’m gonna be polite to him after that am I?’

‘What are you on about?’ He asked, brows furrowed as he looked at you like you were speaking another language but you were tired of Woody thinking you were the bad guy.

‘Dont play dumb Woody. He had the whole move figured out and I was never a part of it, he basically said so himself’

‘What did he say exactly?’

‘That he doesn’t expect me to go with him. That he’s fine with me staying here’ you told him, watching his face fall into his hands before looking up at you with a bewildered expression.

‘You really are stupid sometimes you know that?’

‘What the hell? I know you’ve known him longer but I thought you’d at least sympathise with me’

‘Not when you’ve got the complete wrong end of the stick you doughnut. Sure, he didn’t expect you to drop your whole life and move with him then and there but when you were ready to join him he was making sure you’d have everything you need’

‘What?’

‘He didn’t want you to worry about any of that stuff, he was taking care of it so he could make sure you weren’t stressed. He knew moving would be a big deal for but he wanted you there with him so that’s why tried to take it on himself. When they were asking what sort of things he needed for his new place he said the only two things would be somewhere with an office so that when you came up after you’d sorted yourself out you’d have a place to work and somewhere close to the station so you could get to the office on the days you needed to’

‘But he never said that’ you whispered, a sinking feeling rushing through you that maybe you’d jumped the gun too quick, your bottom lip wobbling seemingly on its own and you thought back to that last conversation with him.

‘He never said it or you never gave him a chance to?’ He questioned and your body felt cold. ‘I know he probably wasn’t very forthcoming with it but I think he liked that he could forget all that stuff around you. You were like his little safe island where none of that mattered and I think he just presumed you’d go with him’

‘Oh god’ you breathed, reality now hitting you that you’d messed up ‘oh fuck no’ you whispered, grabbing your phone and heading straight to his number so you could call him but it didn’t even ring or give you the chance to leave a message. ‘He’s blocked me’

‘Can you blame him? You kinda went in on him a bit’ he smiled before reaching for your forearm. ‘Look, I’ll try and speak to him yeah? Let him know you got confused’

‘No it doesn’t matter’ you told him, shaking your head. ‘Damage is done now. I uh, I need to head off’ you told him, scrambling up from your seat but he was quick to get up too and pull you into a hug. You managed to hold it together with him but as soon as you were home you broke down.

You felt awful, this whole thing could of been fixed if you would if you would of just listened to him for a little longer but you didn’t let him and blew everything you had into pieces.

Woodys words were playing on your mind and had been for a whole week. Looking back, you now understood why he was he was so angry with you that night, you didn’t give him a chance to say his piece and made your mind up for yourself that he didn’t want you there. The dust had settled but there was no way of talking to him and no way resolution right now but all you could think about what what you would say to him if you got the chance.

It was Friday, you’d just got in from work and you felt like curling up into a ball and crying. Nothing had gone right all day and you were craving one of those hug only Mason could give you.

He was always so warm and welcoming, his hugs like no one else’s as they seemed to warm you from the inside and it’s like you could still feel him wrapped around you as you thought about him. Everything about him was perfect and you’d let him slip through your fingers with no real way of getting in contact with him as your number was blocked. All you could think about was him and holding him to the point where you couldn’t take it anymore.

It was like something inside you snapped. You were in your room in a flash to quickly pull a bag of clothes together before making your way to the train station. You didn’t think about any of it, just booked yourself a ticket and got on a train. The only thought in your head was going to find Mason so you could apologise and make him see sense but you were 20 minutes in when you realised you had no idea where he lived or where he’d be.

You tried calling Woody but he didn’t answer, feeling hopeless that you’d dropped a load of money on a train ticket and a last minute hotel room for nothing when the perfect person sprung to mind.

To say Luke was surprised to hear from you would be an understatement, you’d met him a couple of times at games or when Mason played for England and he was initially a bit cautious but once you turned the waterworks on you felt his resolve crumble. He let you know there was a big party they were all going to tonight for a mutual friends birthday and to text him when you were there so he could come and get you and you couldn’t be more thankful. A sick, excited feeling in the pit of your tummy as you knew you’d finally be able to see him.

By the time you’d made it to your hotel and make yourself look semi presentable it was around 11pm and it was another half hour from there so you were hoping Mason was still in a relatively sensible state but you’d take him however he came at this point. You just needed to see him.

‘Where are you going?’ Mason called, watching Luke try to slip through the crowds but he held up his phone as if he was telling him he was off to take a call.

‘I won’t be long yeah? Just stay there’ like called before he was quickly out of sight. Where is he expecting me to go? He thought, eyes flittering around the group he was in and even though he was happy to be there, the sadness in his tummy was still dragging him down and times like this made it even worse.

‘Mason?’ he suddenly heard a voice say to his left and his head snapped round to meet it. Eyes lighting up at the sight in front of him as he held his arms out for the much smaller frame to fit into with a huge smile on his face.

As promised, Luke came and met you by the door and after a big hug of reassurance he lead you over to hopefully where Mason would be.

‘Mason’ you heard Luke call over the music, fighting your way through the bodies at the perimeter of the table until your eyes landed directly on his. You wished you could of looked away though as the sight in front of you made you feel sick.

There he stood, his arm around another girls waist as her lips trialed across his jaw. The smile on his face was the one that was usually reserved for you but you watched it drop at the sight of you and it was like you could feel your heart shatter in your chest.

‘What is she doing here?’ Mason growled, body swaying as he’d had more than enough to drink. His anger was directed towards Luke for now but his furious eyes were on you before he had a chance to reply. ‘I don’t fucking want you here’

You couldn’t handle another second even though you’d just got there but you were hurt and embarrassed enough so you turned on your heel and headed out the way you came. You could hear Luke’s voice booming over the music but you didn’t listen to what he was saying, just trying to get out as quickly as you could and as the cold air hit you, you felt your eyes finally start to sting.

You didn’t know what to do or where to go but you fished your phone out of your bag so you could call yourself a taxi through your tears whilst walking down the side of the building to get out of everyone’s way.

The sound of a door slamming behind you made you jump, looking round to see the last person you thought would of followed you out but Mason was looking back at you. Eyes hard and jaw set and he made his way over but he stopped before he got too close.

‘Why are you here, y/n?’

‘I don’t know’

‘Don’t give me that bullshit’ he snarled, his words slightly slurred as he balled his hands into fists. ‘Tell me why you’re here’

‘You blocked me and-‘

‘Are you joking?’ He laughed but you knew there was no humour in it. ‘Why the hell would I want to talk to you?’

‘Mase I-‘

‘Do you not remember the last bit of contact we had? I tried reaching out to leave things on good terms even though you’d been completely unreasonable and you send me fucking thumbs up? Ten months together and that’s all I deserve? a thumbs up?’

‘I didn’t-‘

‘No you fucking abandoned me’ he growled. ‘I needed you and you let me come here on my own’

‘But you said-‘

‘I know what I said but I didn’t fucking mean it like that’ he snapped.

‘I’m so sorry’ you breathed. ‘I didn’t even know if you want me to come with you’

‘Why would I not want you to come? You’re my everything. Were my everything sorry’

‘Mase please-‘

‘You wanna know what I’ve found most difficult about all of this? you never even let me speak, you made your mind up for the both of us and that’s not what I wanted. I wanted you to choose me and you didn’t’ he breathed. His eyes full of tears and you couldn’t help but feel like the worst person in the world as he swayed slightly before regaining his balance.

‘You told me you didn’t want me to come’

‘No I never. I said I didn’t expect you to join me right then and there cause you had your own shit to sort but I never for one second said I didn’t want you here. You just jumped down my throat and told me what you thought I meant before I had a chance to say anything. I really saw a future with you but you obviously didn’t see one with me’ he sniffed.

You wanted to tell him he was wrong. That the only future you saw was with him and life had been hell without him but you knew it probably wouldn’t make a difference at this point so you kept silent, the only sound you could hear were his ragged breathing as he tried to calm himself. You expected him to be surprised to see you but nothing could of prepared you for this and when he looked up to meet your eyes again you felt your insides shatter at how vulnerable he seemed.

‘Sometimes I wish you would of just done the honourable thing and cheated on me’ he confessed quietly. ‘like I wish you would of made me hate you but I can’t’ he whimpered and it took everything in you not to reach for him and comfort him. ‘I’ve painted you out to be the villain to everyone to try and make it easier on myself and I know you’re not but all of this is so fucking hard. I just wanna move on and I can’t and you showing up here doesn’t make it any easier’

‘It didn’t look like you were finding it difficult to move on in there’ you muttered under your breath and you hadn’t meant for the words to slip out but your ego was still bruised from seeing him with someone else.

‘Don’t you dare turn this around on me’ he growled, becoming furious again at what you’d said and you knew it was a low blow so you shook yourself off try and apologise and bring him back around.

‘Mase can we please just talk. I’ve come all this way, please just listen to me’ you pleaded, stepping towards him and even though he didn’t move away from you, keeping completely still, you felt your heart sink even further.

‘I don’t want to’

‘Please Mase. Come on, it’s me. You know me and you know how awful I feel about all of it’

‘Do I know you?’ He questioned. ‘My y/n would of never let me come here on my own. My y/n would of stuck by me like I always did for her’

‘I’m still yours Mase, please’ you cried, reaching for him so you could cup his jaw and your heart thudded in your chest as his head melted into your hands but he was snapped out of it almost instantly, his hands grabbing your wrists gently so he could pull you off and you couldn’t help but sob as he let go of you.

‘I need you to listen to me yeah?’ He swallowed, his eyes looking directly into yours and you could see how hard they were even in the dark. ‘You broke my heart, y/n’ he said tearfully, his voice raw like he’d been screaming for hours. He words hitting you like a tone of bricks and even though you knew it already, it hurt ten times worse to hear it coming from his lips. ‘Stamped all over it and I’ll never be able to forget how you made me feel’

‘I made a mistake, Mason. I’m here to fix it. To fix us’

‘You can’t’ he told you flatly and it was only then you let you first tears fall.

It may have been your blurred vision but you thought you saw his facade crack ever so slightly, wondering you were finally getting through to him but his stoney exterior was back in the blink of an eye and you knew there was no point talking to him in this state but you still desperately tried.

‘Mason please, I’ll do anything-‘

‘Look, I think you should go. I want you to go’ he gulped, reaching for his phone. ‘I’ll get you an Uber yeah, just put in where you’re staying’

‘You’re not giving me a chance’

‘You never gave us a chance in the first place’ he whimpered, ‘please I can’t do this right now y/n I just need you to go’ he told you, handing you his phone and you realised there was no point in arguing.

‘It’s fine I’ll get it myself’ you sighed, quickly opening the app but before you could confirm the booking you looked back up to him. If this was it and you were done then you couldn’t leave without a proper goodbye. Everything inside of you was telling you to stop but you didn’t listen, you let your heart speak for you even though you knew you’d be crushed. ‘I know I don’t really have a right to ask but please can I kiss you? Just one more time so I can say goodbye properly’ you asked and just as you were expecting, he shook his head to say no. ‘Okay. I’ll go’ you whispered, turning to walk back onto the street to find your taxi, the sinking feeling threatening to drown you but his hand on your wrist stopped you in your tracks.

His lips were on yours on a flash, snapping you out of your upset trance as you shivered at his touch. It wasn’t the soft goodbye kiss you were hoping for, he was rough and holding your waist in a tight grip as you tried to kiss him back with as much force but he was pulling away soon after.

‘Fuck, I shouldn’t of done that’ he whispered, turning around to walk back inside and you thought better than to reach for him again but your brain was still trying to fight for him.

‘Please, Mason. I can’t loose you’ you called, voice thick with tears as he stopped at the door. You watched as his turned ever so slightly, eyes downcast before sticking the final knife in.

‘You already have’

He didn’t turn back, slamming the door on the way inside and you let him go, biting your lip to keep your emotions at bay as you stumbled back onto the main Street. Your Uber was only a few moments away and you were soon heading off, eyes looking up as you passed the main entrance but you wished you would of looked away sooner.

He had his head down and his hood up, but you knew it was him. The girl who was draped over him inside now had her hand clasped in his as she followed behind him into a taxi and you felt like throwing up all over the back seat. You felt at blame for the whole misunderstanding and watching him take another girl home was the least you felt you deserved.

Woody eventually returned your call just as you got to your room. You managed to hold it together but you could tell he knew you were upset as you told him you’d come to speak to Mason and it didn’t end well. He tried convincing you to let him speak to Mason tomorrow before you left but you told him there was no point and you promised you’d give him a call when you were back home the next day.

That wasn’t the end of Woody’s calls that night though, with Mason calling him about an hour after to let him know he’d seen you and the huff that Woody let out let him know Woody wasn’t happy with him.

‘First of all mate, it’s 2am. I know you live a few hours away now but that doesn’t mean we’re living in different time zones like could this not of waited?’

‘Sorry mate, I just didn’t know who to talk to’ Mason said sadly and Woody felt bad instantly but between you and Mason crying on the phone to him about each other he wanted to bang your heads together.

‘Look I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but I saw y/n last week. She was in that cafe you used to go to for breakfast and she looked miserable as fuck like I’ve never seen her that sad. She tried calling you but you’ve blocked her number again haven’t you?’

‘She’s got no reason to be sad, she threw me out’ Mason replied, ignoring his comment about blocking your number as he’d only done it a few days ago and he still felt weird about it.

‘Cause she thought you were ending things mate. She got the wrong end of the stick and she jumped the gun’ he explained, stopping Mason in his tracks immediately. ‘I’ve just had her on the phone in tears cause you’ve basically done the same. Didn’t give her a chance to talk and apologise and then left with some girl’

‘How does she know that?’

‘She saw you get in the car with her, she’s in bits mate. Like nothing I said would calm her down or make her listen to me. What the fuck did you say to her man?’

It was true, you’d cried all night as the vision of him with someone else stung and all you could think about was what they might be doing together at this very second. You hadn’t been able to look at someone else let alone do what he was doing and no matter what you did the vision of the pair of them wouldn’t go.

You thought he would of been upset or shocked to see you but the anger rolling off of him had been a surprise and you knew now that there was no going back. He was done with you, trying his hardest to move on and you told yourself that when you got back home you’d do the same so you quickly went to his number in your phone and blocked it just like he’d done with you.

You woke up early the end morning, checking the train times to see the next one was in an hour so you quickly packed up and let reception know you needed a taxi to the station. It hurt knowing your trip here had been in vein but you told yourself at least you’d tried. He just hadn’t wanted to hear and that was fine.

As soon as the lift pinged open you could hear Masons voice and the sound of it shocked you. He sounded desperate and you followed it to the reception where he appeared to be arguing with the receptionist.

‘Look, I know she’s here, you know she’s here so just let me know what room she’s in-‘

‘Sir I’ve already explained I’m not allowed to do that’

‘Well then call her room’

‘Sir-‘

‘You’re not listening to me’

‘Mason?’ You questioned, coming to a stop a few meters behind him and you watched him whip round at the sound of you voice. A look of relief washing over him at the sight of you before he took a few frantic steps towards you.

‘Y/n thank god, I thought I’d missed you’

‘Why are you here?’ You asked but he was cut off from answering by the doorman.

‘Miss y/l/n, your taxi should be here in about five minutes’

‘No, don’t go. Please don’t go not yet’ he panicked, turning to the doorman so he could speak to him next. ‘It’s okay you can cancel that she doesn’t need it’

‘Mason, what’s going on?’

‘I don’t want you to leave like this. You came here for a reason and I know I’ve fucked it but please’ he whispered, holding your jaw as he looked into your eyes. ‘Please don’t go yet. Come back to mine and we’ll talk yeah? Properly talk and figure things out’

‘Mase-‘

‘Please. Please bubs I’ll do anything you want-‘

‘Okay it’s okay’ you interrupted, holding his wrists as he still cradled your face in his hands. His eyes switching from frantic to relieved in an instant at your words as he let out a breath. ‘Shhhh, it’s okay. I’m coming yeah?’ You told him, heart threatening to jump from your body at the old pet name he used to call you but this is what you came here for. To talk properly and even if things were over you wanted nothing unsaid.

‘Okay’ he nodded shyly, suddenly aware of the scene he’d caused in the hotel reception so he grabbed the handle of your case with one hand whilst the other lead you outside by the small of your back. ‘I’m just round here’ he mumbled when you were close and you let him pop your case in the boot as you got settled in the passenger seat.

The drive was silent, Mason focused on the road as you looked out onto the unfamiliar Manchester streets but you couldn’t take anything in. Too focused on what you were going to say to him when you got to his and you could still feel his hands on your jaw as he’d pleaded with you to stay.

You were shocked when he suddenly pulled into the drive of an impressive house, a similar style to his Cobham home but a little more cozy looking and you retuned his shy smile as he turned the engine off before you both got out. He lead you inside and into the living room where you took a seat on one of the sofas and he sat opposite you whilst he played with his fingers.

‘Can I get you anything?’

‘I’m okay thanks’

‘Do you have a train you need to get?’

‘The one I booked leaves in ten minutes but it’s fine I’ll get another one’

‘Sorry I didn’t even think’

‘No it’s fine, I’d rather us talk’ you reassured him and even thought he sent you a smile he still looked troubled as his eyes flickered over you but you were settled by the tiny smile that appeared.

‘Nice hoodie’ he commented, you face burning as you knew he’d recognised it as his own. The same one he’d left at yours that fateful night and the one you’d been wearing for comfort so you dipped your head out of embarrassment. ‘You wanna go first? I don’t even know where to start’ he chuckled.

‘I sort of do’ you murmured before gulping nervously. This was probably the last thing you should be saying but you had to know before you carried on as the thought had been eating you alive. ‘About last night, I know I don’t have a right to ask but, that girl? Did um-‘

‘Nothing happened’ he breathed, head falling into his hands. ‘We went back to hers but I didn’t even get out of the taxi. I only met her for the first time last night, we’ve been texting for a few days but nothing more. She was just a distraction from… well you know’ he told you, eyes never meeting yours but you knew he’d seen you nod. ‘And that’s the problem, all I’ve been doing is trying to distract myself cause it hurts too much to think about anything else but I realised last night I can’t carry on like this’

‘I’m so sorry, Mason’ you whispered tearfully, watching his head drop into his hands even further as he clearly didn’t want you to see how upset he was but all you could think about was comforting him so against your better judgement you stood up and made your way over to him. He hadn’t moved a muscle so you knelt down in between his knees and placed your hands on his thighs in hopes he would look at you but his eyes stayed stuck shut. You weren’t ready to give up yet though, squeezing his thighs gently as you tapped your head against his arm. ‘Mase? Look at me’ you whispered before he swallowed heavily, head moving ever so slightly and the sadness in his eyes broke you.

You didn’t say a word, just knelt up and snaked your arms around his shoulders so you could pull him into a hug and to your surprise he let you, his head finding home in your neck just like it used to as he held you to him and it was as if all the stress in his body left him as he melted into you.

‘I’ve missed you so much’ he confessed quietly into your neck, the feel of his lips on your skin sending shivers down your spine as your heart thudded in your chest. You couldn’t describe how it felt to be back in his arms but you wished it was under different circumstances.

‘I’ve missed you too’ you told him. ‘But that doesn’t make what I did okay. I know that’

‘I really needed you. This has all been so hard’

‘I’m so sorry’ you choked, squeezing him even harder as he did the same. ‘Will you let me explain?’

‘Okay’ he gulped, pulling back from you but helping you taking a seat next to him. You felt a little awkward and unsure of yourself but when he threaded his fingers through yours and kept them in his lap you relaxed ever so slightly. The feel of him giving you the strength to speak.

‘In all honesty, I wasn’t sure you wanted me to come here. I get the deal was up in the air and you weren’t even sure if it would happen but we didn’t talk about any possibility of me coming with you and I just assumed you wanted to go on your own at first. Or maybe it was your way of letting me know you didn’t want me there at all but when you said I didn’t have to worry about coming here I thought you were giving me an out and ending things. I only took it because I believed that’s what you wanted and I thought you were breaking up with me’

‘That’s not what I wanted at all, I just assumed you were coming’ he laughed, rubbing his eyes with the heal of his hand. ‘I know we didn’t speak about it but I had a million things on my mind and the possibility of you not coming with me wasn’t one of them’ he whispered ‘everything was changing you know? But you were the one certain thing I had, I didn’t even think I had to ask. Remember you told me, wherever I go, that’s where you’ll be’

‘I know and I’m so sorry’ you sobbed, head bowed as the tears fell from your eyes. ‘You had so much going on in those months and all I did was think about myself’

‘Come on love, you don’t have to beat yourself up about it’ he told you softly, pulling you into his grasp again so you could calm down to speak again properly but all you wanted was to hear his side. You’d spent the last two months being annoyed at him for no reason and you were desperate know how he was feeling.

‘I think it might be good if we just get things out in the open, you know? Let’s not leave anything unsaid’ you told him and he nodded lightly.

‘You sure?’ He asked and you nodded with a gulp.

‘I just wanna know how you were feeling’

‘Well I was pissed for a long time. I didn’t understand anything it’s like you’d just changed in a nano second. And then when I got here and I was settled I was more sad you know? just waiting for you to reach out to tell me you missed me too but the longer it took the more mad I got again. That’s why I went off on one last night like I think it’s just all built up. But I’m sorry for how I spoke to you and I’m sorry for kissing you and walking away that wasn’t fair of me no matter how drunk I was. Being close to you again just bought all these feelings up a I lost it a bit. I’m sorry you had to see me with that girl too but I’ve spoken to her this morning and said I don’t want to see her anymore’

‘Do you really wish I’d of cheated on you?’ You asked, voice barely above a whisper but you knew he’d heard as he shuffled over to you a touch.

‘A little bit’ he laughed. ‘I mean not now obviously but it would of made not wanting you a lot easier. Cause that’s never gone away you know? I’ve wanted you this whole time, loved you this whole time, no matter how mad I got’

You were overwhelmed by how nice he was being, a stark contrast from how he’d spoken to you yesterday but you were still unsure as to how things would end. Was this just a polite goodbye before you made your way home? Mason had never been that hard to read a whilst he was saying all the right things you knew you’d pushed him to the edge and getting him back wouldn’t be easy.

‘Hey come on’ he whispered, pulling you into his body before leaning back a bit. You felt like you didn’t have right to cry, you were the one who blew up first and wouldn’t listen to him but the fact you’d gotten it so wrong made your heart hurt and wished you could go back in time and hear him out.

His arms around you were more comforting than you ever thought they could be, his smell hitting you like a slap in the face as the soft skin of his neck was pressed up against your face but you felt your heart beat slow down as he grounded you. His hands rubbing over your back and arms to comfort you and even though everything was up in the air, you finally felt like you were home again.

‘I didn’t talk to you about that stuff because I just wanted one person who didn’t look at me like I was the worst person on the planet’ he explained, your mind thinking back to the awful way he’d been spoken about with only a few people in his corner. ‘Chelsea was all I knew, and to have them want to just toss me aside like that hurt more than I could ever tell you but with you I never felt bad. You were my little escape you know?’ He chuckled, kissing your temple lightly which made you squeeze him even harder. ‘I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere for so long, but I always did with you’

‘I feel so dumb’ you laughed tearfully. ‘I think I was just being defensive like trying to hurt you before you hurt me’

‘I wasn’t trying to hurt you’ he told you gently. ‘In my head, I was gonna move up here, go on the tour and stuff whilst a house was being sorted and then when I was back you’d join me. Looking back I guess I should of said something sooner, you don’t live in my head so you’ve got not way of knowing what I’m thinking’

‘But I should of given you a chance to explain’ you mumbled, finally moving out of his neck so you could look at him properly and you were happy to see the sadness in his eyes had somewhat lifted but he was still looking to you concerned. ‘I was just butt hurt that you might be leaving and you hadn’t taken me into consideration but I should of let you explain. I’ve been so mad at you so that’s why I haven’t tried to reach out but it’s because I didn’t understand and now I do I just feel like the worst person in the world’ you cried, choking backs sobs at the end but his lips on your forehead settled you down again.

‘If I would of known then I would of stopped everything to follow you here. You were right, where you go I go and I’m so angry at myself for not thinking straight and being there for you when you needed me most. I can only imagine what you must of been going through leading up to it and for me to then just blow up at you like that wasn’t fair and I’m so sorry’

‘Come on sweetheart, don’t get upset’

‘I’ve ruined everything’ you sobbed, head in your hands agin before he pulled you even closer.

‘Shhhh baby no, you haven’t okay’ he reassured you. ‘You’re here now yeah? And we’re on the same page so there’s no need for all these tears’ he laughed, trying to make light of the situation so you forced yourself to calm down, wiping your eyes on the sleeves off his hoodie before looking up into his soft face.

‘Are you happy here?’

‘I am’ he told you sincerely. ‘Like yeah it’s been a bit weird just leaving everything behind but I’m really happy here’

You nodded, a weird feeling in your tummy at how settled he was and whilst you were anything but back home it eased your mind to know you didn’t have to worry about him being here.

‘I’d be happier if you were here with me’ he suddenly whispered, nose bumping yours before he pressed a kiss to the crease in between your brows.

‘What?’

‘Will you come with me?’ He asked, seeming ignoring your question but you nodded your head and let him lead you by the hand upstairs towards the back of the house, opening a door up to a random room but the sight inside took your breath away.

It was a light and airy room, a large desk set up against the wall with two monitors and your favourite chair from Masons Cobham home that you stole whenever you worked from there was perched under the desk. There were plants and cute pictures all over the walls and a little mini fridge off the other side but it was the patio doors that lead out to a balcony that overlooked the huge garden made you smile.

‘What’s this?’ You laughed, your heart racing as he settled his hands on your hips and popped his chin in your head.

‘Your home office. I had it set up for you just in case you came to your senses in the first few weeks but I haven’t been able to come back in here since’ he laughed. ‘Sorry about the dust’

‘Mase’ you breathed, turning to face him so you could wrap your arms around his body as he caged you against himself. You could feel the tears coming but for a whole different reason this time.

‘It’s still yours if you want it’

‘Really?’

‘You don’t think I made a fool out of myself in that hotel and made you come here just for the fun of it did you?’ He laughed, thumb stroking your cheek as you gazed up at him lovingly. ‘It’s up to you, but I know I’ve been miserable without you and all I’ve thought about is having you here. Not just in this house but everywhere. I’ve found places we can go eat that I know you’ll love, there’s a park not too far away with a big lake so we can go feed the ducks like we used to’

‘Got it all figured out huh?’ You laughed, your body filling with warmth with his words.

‘I’d like to think so’ he winked ‘We can take it slowly you know? I’m not asking you to move in with me straight away but when you’re ready maybe I can take you out on a date? You know like catch up a bit and if it’s something we both realise we still want we can go from there’

‘Even after everything I said to you?’

‘It was a misunderstanding bubs, It happens’ he whispered, kissing your cheeky gently ‘we both could of probably done better but we live and we learn’ he carried on, pressing delicate kisses across your cheek and over your nose before making his way down to your lips. ‘I think we’re both sorry and regret what happened right?

‘Yeah’

‘So the only thing to do is accept it and try to move forward’ he continued, his kisses getting closer to your lips and you felt like you were in some sort of trance.

‘Okay’

‘Y/n’ he whispered, pressing a final kiss to the corner of your mouth and the feel of it made you knees weak.

‘Yeah?’

‘Can I kiss you now?’

You couldn’t answer him with words, just nodding before his hands came up to cup your jaw so he couldn’t tilt your head back. You couldn’t stop looking at him, he was so beautiful up close and you’d missed looking at all the features that made him special. But you couldn’t look for too much longer, his eyes on your lips and face leaning closer to yours as he finally gave you what you both wanted.

You both sighed into each others mouths as you finally kissed, relief filling your body at finally feeling his lips on yours. Your body felt as light as air as the pain from the last few months disappeared from your body and he mended you back together with his lips. It was a stark contrast from the way he’d kissed you last night and you were desperately trying not to smile and ruin the moment but you couldn’t help yourself. You were happy and whole again and the feel of Masons smile on your lips made you chuckle.

The pair of you pulled back, eyes shining as you got lost in each other for a second. Feeling the joy radiate from him as he smiled down at you and you hoped your expression was telling the same to him.

‘If you want, we can sack that date off and I’ll just move in right now’ you winked, watching his eyes sparkle as he laughed. You’d meant it as a joke but after a few seconds you realised the thought of going back home right now was the last thing you wanted.

‘Oh yeah?’ He laughed. ‘What about all your stuff? And work?’

‘Stop being the voice of reason’ you laughed, pulling away every so slightly but he was quick to cage you back in.

‘You don’t have to move here now. It’s a lot to ask and I know that’

‘But I want to. I’ve wanted to this whole time and I don’t want to waste another second without you. I don’t need a date to realise if this is what I want cause it’s what I’ve wanted since you came here’ you told him, you face resting his hand as his soft eyes flickered over you. ‘But I suppose you’re right. I really should run stuff passed work and get stuff sorted at home’

‘We’ve got time’ he smiled before placing a light kiss to your forehead. ‘What do you think of the place? I haven’t been here that long and we can change whatever you like about it’

‘No i love it, it’s very you’ you laughed as he took your hand to lead you outside.

‘Well, soon it will be very us’ he winked, walking you back through so he could give you a tour and you were impressed by all of it. The kitchen was your favourite though and you let him sit you up on the counter as he stood between your legs. You fingers lost in the back of his hair as he smiled up at you and all you wanted to to lean down and kiss him.

‘Why the change of heart Mase?’ You asked quietly, watching the blush take over his cheeks. ‘Last night you couldn’t stand the sight of me’

‘I may of called Woody after I got home. Let’s just say he wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear from me at that time but I told him what happened and he let me know he’d seen you earlier in the week and spoken to you last night. Said that you’d got the wrong end of the stick and you were upset about it and I just thought if you left then there was no going back, you know? I don’t want us to be done yet’

‘Me either’ you smiled, eyes filling with tears again as you looked over his perfect face. ‘So I didn’t loose you then?’

‘No even for a second’ he whispered, pressing his lips to yours gently. ‘We kind of owe Woody a lot huh?’

‘We do’ you smiled. ‘He’s put up with a lot of our shit’

‘Well he won’t have to anymore, we’re back where we belong. With each other’ he smiled before melting his head in your neck to you could hold him and all you could think about was not wanting to belong anywhere else but here ever again.

‘Where you go, that’s where I’ll be right?’

‘Where you go, that’s where I’ll be’ he repeated softly, a gentle smile taking over his lips as he looked at you lovingly.

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

Thank you so much for reading 🩷 I would really appreciate some feedback on this so please feel free to drop me an ask or a comment or whatever you feel comfortable doing. I’d just love to hear from you 😌

[incendiobrock]

Ghosted {Matt Sturniolo}

Request: Hi could I request Matt x reader.(Dialogue 20,action 17)The reader is Matt’s best friend but she loves him.It gets hard when he kinda ghosts her for this girl he has been seeing.When they do hang out that’s when the reader pours her heart out to him.Very much angst in the beginning but hopefully a fluffy ending.Thank you !

Prompt(s): accidental confession + “Are you crying?”

Warnings: language, angst, fluffy ending!

“We’re almost there.” Matt said softly, gently waking you up from your sleep. The plane was finally landing in Boston after hours of being in the air. Matt was kind enough to give you the window seat, knowing you would want to rest your head against it so you could take a nap.

“How long was I out for?” You questioned, feeling groggy and slightly out of it. Matt laughed, “You fell asleep maybe thirty minutes into the flight… And that’s a big maybe! It was honestly more like twenty minutes.” A smile grew on your face as a blush rose to your cheeks. He would always tease you because you could practically fall asleep under any circumstance. In the car, on a plane, on the couch, and you vaguely remembered falling asleep at the kitchen table at least once in your life.

Matt’s mom met you both outside of baggage claim greeting you both with a big hug. You would be staying at their childhood home for a few days, accompanying Matt with some secret project he was working on. Chris and Nick had decided to stay in LA which meant you had plenty of time to spend alone with Matt.

It was weird not having the others with you but you were excited to hang out with your best friend one on one. There had been talk of watching some movies, going to eat at some of your favorite Boston restaurants, and meeting up with some of your old high school friends together.

Matt had some plans for the first night, he was going to catch up with Nate and some others. You were going to just crash at the house and let them have a boys night, especially since it had been a few months since they had last seen each other. What you didn’t anticipate was that Matt would be completely ignoring your texts. Hours had passed and he hadn’t responded to your message asking when he would be coming back.

The sun was completely gone out of the sky and it was nearing midnight. The bedroom you would be sharing was dark and the bed you laid on felt unusually empty.

Are you okay? Haven’t heard from you in awhile

You texted him again, nerves getting the best of you. It wasn’t like him to not be on his phone for this long. Before you knew it the night had turned into morning and there was still no signs of Matt. It was a miracle you had even been able to fall asleep last night without hearing back from him.

The smell of bacon filled the house as you made your way out to the kitchen. You expected to see Mary Lou cooking your favorite breakfast but instead you were met with the sight of Matt’s back as he faced the stove.

“So what, you’re just ghosting me now?” You somewhat joked, causing him to turn around and see you standing at the island.

Matt didn’t reply as his phone buzzed, echoing off the counter where it was placed. You watched intently as he began to text back, assuming it must have been Chris or Nick since they never spend this much time apart. It became suspicious to you when you noticed how he was grinning about whatever he was reading.

“Oh so you do know how to use your phone…” You scoffed, insinuating the fact that he never responded to your messages from last night.

“Sorry, I was busy and forgot to respond.” He said, brushing you off.

As soon as the words left his mouth he was quickly tucking his phone away into his pants pocket. His lips forming a tight line as he glanced at the ceiling, twiddling his fingers now that they were set free from his phone screen. The sound of his phone buzzing still noticeable, even muffled by his pocket.

“Matt- Who is it and why are they blowing up your phone?” You pressed, his body language was setting off a million alarms in your head.

He was hiding something from you.

Matt sighed as his phone buzzed once again, he pulled it back out of his pocket and began to look over the messages he had received. Six messages to be exact.

I’m so happy you’re back in boston for a few days.

I would love to meet up again while you’re still here

We could go to that place we used to go to

What was it called?

Davis Park???

I remember we used to go there to watch the sunset by that little pond, I really miss that… Thanks again for last night, I had so much fun :)

You couldn’t help but read over his shoulder, your heart sank as you realized what had him so giddy. He was texting the girl that he used to have a thing with before you guys moved to LA. He had decided it would be best to not continue anything serious with her so as far as you knew he had cut ties with her. A familiar stinging sensation began in your eyes as tears started to form. You had no reason to be jealous, Matt was just your friend.

Nervously, you coughed trying to clear your throat, trying your best to think of anything else besides Matt with someone else. Next thing you knew you were sniffling, still fighting back the urge to cry.

“Are you crying?” Matt asked, sounding genuinely concerned as he watched you head back towards the stairs, trying to quickly remove yourself from the confines of the kitchen.

You stopped in your tracks at his voice, feeling your body tremble. You weren’t sure if it was from anger, nerves, or the overwhelming feeling of your heart being crushed.

“Y/n?”

The tears started to fall as your head spun thinking about how you had been ghosted immediately as he reunited with somebody else.

You turned around to face him, wanting to yell and scream and possibly cuss him out for the way he had treated you. A scowl was plastered on your face as you heaved in some air, trying to maintain some of your composure.

“You can’t seriously be upset about this?”

You felt your eyes roll bigger than they ever had before, was he hearing himself right now?

“Matt, you literally ghosted me. You could’ve died for all I know!” You said, raising your voice but trying hard not to yell since this wasn’t your house.

“I was busy.” He restated, as if that was any excuse to completely ignore someone he called his ‘best friend’.

“So I heard,” You scoffed, more tears leaving your eyes and staining your cheeks. How humiliating, letting him see you in this vulnerable of a state when he clearly doesn’t give a damn about you.

“You know Matt, if you weren’t so fucking stubborn maybe you would realize that there’s a girl who’s madly in love with you who doesn’t live halfway across the country!” You spit, realizing what you had said immediately after saying it. A hand flew over your mouth as your eyes widened in shock, “I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t meant that.” You practically whispered.

Matt had closed the distance off between the two of you, now standing directly in front of you. “You what?” He asked back softly, searching your eyes for any hint that might confirm that you were telling him the truth.

Your body stayed frozen, unable to speak. “You’re in love with me?” He asked another question, breaking the suffocating tension that filled the air.

“Is that what I said?” You tried to joke, playing off your slip up.

“Yeah, that’s definitely what you said.”

His hands were now delicately taking ahold of your own, trying to ease your nerves and catch your full attention.

“I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just- you’re my best friend and all…” You rambled.

“That’s a shame, because the only reason I was out last night was because I was trying to avoid the fact that i’m madly in love with you.”

You felt your heartbeat speed up at his words, your cheeks heating up in return, “Really?”

“Really.” He replied. His eyes bore into your own, a slight gleam inside of them displaying his admiration for you.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispered, bringing a hand up to brush some hair behind your ear before resting it on the side of your face. “Please do.” You answered, anticipating his next move that you had been waiting an antagonizing amount of time for.

His lips met yours in a slow but passionate manner, taking in every detail of your lips with his own. You melted at the touch, instantly forgetting any of your jealousy. If you would have known how addicting his lips would feel on yours you would’ve confessed a lot sooner. When you finally pulled apart he rested his forehead on yours, breathless.

You could definitely get used to this.

[just-another-author-i-guess]

Ppppft!!! Elliot casually entering in Judd's room at the worst possible moments, yes please!! I like to think that Judd put all those signs in his door mainly because of his dad 🤣 Elliot and Diane embarrassing Judd is everything i need in this life, hopefully in front of his crush lol 😈

This has been stuck in my head literally the whole week— it’s too good not to write seriously 🤭

Tags: fem! Reader, mentions of sex? Like a lot of mentions, also masturbation, also cockblocking lol, but as I keep saying this is big mouth fanfic what do you expect, Nick and Jessi being jealous boggles my brain, it’s too funny, Elliot Birch is an actual menace, he also has no regards for privacy, it’s his house so he can enter whatever room he wants ig, author had way too much fun writing this

I based this on my first big mouth story, read it HERE

Author’s note: I’m cackling. I loved writing this so much omg— why is it funny tormenting the characters so much 🧍🏻‍♀️anyways, I did my best with Diane and Elliot’s dialogue,, but it’s hard lol. I hope you find it as funny to read as I did to write, and also, ig I kinda lied bc the third and fourth reason technically doesn’t have anything to do with people barging into Judd’s room. But he does get embarrassed, and I needed a good title, sue me. No but seriously, I hope you like this haha

Four (4) reasons why Judd has ‘keep out’ signs on his door

Word count; 4,7K

Reason one (1)

The air in Judd’s room was warm, and humid, and seemed to have stilled once the two of you collapsed on the bed, worn out from an intense round of fucking. 

He barely bothered covering himself, instead he threw you a somewhat sweaty shirt he had been wearing beforehand and pulled the covers up enough to just barely cover his hips. You accepted it with shaky hands and a worn out smile, almost purring as you slipped into the garment and burrowed yourself under his covers as well.

Between your legs, now resided a slowly cooling and increasingly sticky mess, still leaking from you as you turned in the bed. However, your boyfriend never made a move to get up and fetch a towel. He did reach out an inviting arm, though, urging you to scoot closer to him. You did so with a hazy look on your face, nuzzling into his neck and inhaling. 

You listened to his heart beat wildly, his blood bump and felt so, so content. You heard him relax as well, a deep, low, grunt of a sigh as he settled in, clearly as ready for a nap as you were. 

With the humidity and the stillness of everything, it was too easy to close your eyes and bask in the feeling of sleepiness. You were right there, on the sweet, blurry edge between sleep and consciousness when a series of rapid knocks broke through the silence.

Judd groaned, clearly on the cusp of sleep himself— voice even raspier than usual. Besides mumbling a few threatening words under his breath, he didn’t move to open the door or even care to call out to whoever was knocking. It would most likely be Nick, anyway, coming to bother you and he would set the world aflame before he let his stinky little brother see his girlfriend half naked. 

None of you even had time to register it, before the door rattled, opened and a much too cheery Dr. Birch stepped through. 

You froze— wide eyes searching Judd as the crease between his eyebrows became deeper and a murderous expression overtook his sleepy face. 

“Dad.” He rasped. “Get the hell out.”  He was quick to tuck the covers around you, especially your still very wet crotch and ass, completely disregarding the fact that he was butt naked himself. You shrieked as he suddenly rolled you in the sheets— grateful nonetheless as you came to face Elliot Birch, the man completely indifferent to the two of you and your nakedness. 

“Oh, my sweet Judd!” Mr. Birch exclaimed, ignoring how you both looked very much like you wanted him to leave. “How magnificent is it, that you feel comfortable sharing your nude self with me and Y/n?” 

He clasped both hands over his heart, dramatically, and Judd somehow turned even paler than he already was. He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like; “I am going to fucking murder you.” And darted for the floor where he had thrown his jeans. 

“Oh noo! No need to feel ashamed, Judd, I’ll take my pants off too!—“

“— no!” A choked out yell escaped you too quickly. Your face felt hot, and you didn’t have to look in a mirror to know that you were beat red by now. You did not need to see Judd’s dads bare ass after already already being embarrassed beyond belief. 

Dr. Birch chuckled and smiled warmly at you. “Setting your boundaries, I see. I’m so proud of you Y/n— my son has such a strong willed girlfriend!” 

Your cheeks burned. “Uh, right. Thank you, Dr. Birch,” 

“Call me Elliot!” 

Judd scoffed behind you, finally getting his pantless situation under control. “Fuck off, dad. Now. I mean it.” Even he was a bit too stunned to come up with a proper threat. 

Elliot sighed, smiling. “Oh, I will, I will! I’ll leave you two lovers alone in just a minute! I do have a little favour to ask you first, though, Juddy,” 

“What.” Judd deadpanned, the tips of his ears colouring slightly at the horrific nickname. 

“I have this tag still on the back of my shirt, you see, I would have taken it off before trying the shirt on, but now I appreciate it so much I didn’t want to take it off myself— Ah, it holds such good memories of this morning!” 

This morning in particular, Nick tried to hit on you and Judd threw a milk carton at him. 

Judd sighed, deeply, and looked a bit like a feral bull. “You are such a fucking pussy, dad.” He growled, but still walked towards his dad with intend to help. 

“Thank you! That is such a beautiful organ,” You kinda wanted to snicker, at the absurdity of the whole situation, but kept your mouth shut. Judd worked quickly, ripping out the tag and throwing it at his dad. 

“Why the hell didn’t you ask Nick?” Judd grit out, coming to sit on the edge of his bed by your feet. He put a protective, soothing hand on your leg under the covers. 

Dr. Birch laughed. “Because you’re so strong! And I love you, son,” 

Judd visibly clenched his jaw, you had no doubt that if this continued a vein would pop on his forehead. “I hate you.” He countered.

“And I validate that feeling! You have such a way with words, you should think about being a writer, don’t you think so too, Y/n?”

“Get the fuck out.” Judd snarled before you had to respond— thankfully. You smiled awkwardly at Mr. Birch, as if trying to confirm Judd’s words but in a much politer way. 

He smiled. “Alright, alright! Have fun, you two, and be safe!” He said over his shoulder, as if it wasn’t obvious that the two of you had just very much had your fun, and sauntered towards the door, closing it gently behind him.

Reason two (2)

Unfortunately for Judd, he didn’t have his own bathroom in the house, having to share two between his family.

Around the shower, was carefully placed a plethora of different pastel coloured shampoo and body washes— all of which belonged to Leah and smelled like a candy crush fever dream. Judd sorted through them roughly, pushing most of them over in his search to find the all-in-one and shampoo for dyed hair he usually used. 

As he showered, working the shampoo into his hair and revelling in the warm, steamy water spray, Maury appeared; ‘You’re taking a shower for Y/n, huh?’ The hormone monster drawled. He was bored; checking his nails as he made himself comfortable on the toilet outside the shower. 

Judd grunted. It was true, you would be over in a bit and he didn’t want to smell like the raccoons.  “Why are you here?” He demanded. 

The monster chuckled and held up his hands in defence. ‘It’s not my fault you can’t stop thinking about Y/n.. Ahh, remember last week when she sucked you off in the shower? Why’s she not doing that right now? Let’s call her,’ Suddenly Maury had Judd’s phone, and was waving it around. 

“Fuck you. Let me shower.” 

‘No, let’s fuck Y/n!’ Maury countered enthusiastically. ‘And besides, y’know that’s not how it works,’ He grinned mirthfully, slithering around the glass wall of the shower to point a long, clawed finger at Judd’s cock— sure enough it was rising to attention. ‘You gotta jerk off. C’mon, give me a good show!’ 

Judd could have punched Maury— and he had actually tried that before, just for the monster to disappear and reappear behind him with a smug look. So instead of drop kicking his hormone monster, he promptly ignored him and turned around to face the water spray. 

‘Nuh-uh,’ Maury grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around— he shook the monster off with a deep growl. ‘Think about Y/n’s nice, biiig tits, ah~’ Maury shuddered, but continued. ‘Remember how they looked all wet, uhhh I bet she’d let you blow your load all over them next time,’ Maury was unrelenting, an increasingly deepening blush spread over Judd’s face and ears and he let out a strangled groan. 

“Shit, fine!” He hissed and the monster whooped in victory. 

Judd was quick to tip his head back and grab his dick with a closed fist. He sighed through gritted teeth as he got to work— swiftly and quite roughly pumping himself as Maury cheered him on. He closed his eyes and let his jaw go slack, imagining it was your hand around him and recalling the alluring noises you made whenever he was pleasuring you. 

His release build steadily, hand movements getting more frantic and his breath sped up. The spray of water only seemed to get hotter, and the steam in the room became more dense. He leaned forward— spreading his hand out on the wall in front of him to get a better angle, and keep his balance. Now his head hung low, and he panted open-mouthed as he tightened the grip around his cock and sped up his movements again. He was so close, just a few more pumps and— 

The bathroom door flew open and Judd all but jumped out of his own skin. He had locked the door when he first entered, right? 

‘Nooo..! Elliot, get the hell out!’ Maury yowled— appearing on the other side of the shower and trying to push out the intruder, who unfortunately was Judd’s dad. Elliot could neither see nor hear or feel the monster, so Maury’s punching and shaking left him completely unfazed as he continued further into the room.

Judd’s eyes shot open, slack mouth turning into a frightening scowl as he heard his dad sing to himself. Elliot sauntered about the bathroom— humming a song about lotion and browsing through the cabinets. 

“Don’t mind me, Juddy!” He yelled over the water, as if it was a most normal occurrence to walk in on your 18-year-old son taking a shower. 

Maury slithered back into the shower. ‘Let’s kill him. Now. And then we can tend to your little.. problem after,’ He suggested, glaring at Elliot’s shadow through the shower window. Luckily, it was steamy enough to only show silhouettes, so Judd could at least maintain a bit of dignity. 

Judd grunted and nodded in agreement, turning off the shower. “Get the fuck out,” He rumbled, low and threatening. 

“I can’t find my lotion anywhere! It makes my skin so soft— just the way your mother likes it,” Elliot tutted, completely ignoring Judd’s orders. 

“I’ll fucking skin you alive. Get out.” Judd repeated, this time raspier, raising his voice. The steam from the warm water was slowly dissolving— leaving the glass in the shower clear enough to reveal most of Elliot to Judd and vice versa. 

Elliot chuckled warmly. “You have such a poetic soul, son. It’s such a shame you don’t write more,” 

A cross between a deep growl and sigh escaped Elliot’s oldest son. “What the hell are you talking about.” Judd said, and though it sounded like a question he didn’t actually want to know the answer. 

Dr. Birch turned to his oldest, now fully visible behind the shower glass and said; “Your creative potential! Ohhh! You should write Y/n a love letter, she would love it—“ 

“— Fuck no.” 

Elliot’s eyebrows creased, and his facial expression turned earnest. “I know you’re very good at pleasing Y/n with your body—“

“—Dad, shut up—” Now Judd was really embarrassed, he had both hands covering his privates, but was still very much butt naked in front of his dad, a reality that didn’t fail to make a blush creep over his ears and cheeks. The fact that he was also still rock hard, didn’t help at all. 

“— But!” Elliot continued, pointedly ignoring Judd. “You should do something romantic for her! Something with your heart! You should always show a woman how much you love her, Judd,” He reminded, a gentle smile on his face as he watched his son grow increasingly embarrassed. 

“Okay. I don’t care. Get the fuck out.” Judd deadpanned. He had let his facade slip for just a brief moment— before covering his appalled expression up with a vicious glare. 

“Oh, but I still need my lotion—“

“— I’ll gut you and fill you with your fucking lotion if you don’t get out.” He snarled, strained and deep and his look made it clear it was definitely not up for debate. 

‘Boo! Get the fuck out, Elliot!’ Maury added in the background, throwing a shampoo bottle at the man. 

All he did was chuckle at the threat— shrugging his shoulders. “Alright, Juddy, I respect your boundaries. It’s important to acknowledge such things,” He smiled and relented his search for lotion. He continued humming obnoxiously, however, as he left and softly closed the door behind him. 

Reason three (3)

You gasped, puffy lips parting to make way for the eager sound. Judd had roughly thrown you on the couch, slotting himself between your legs and ferociously attacked your neck as soon as you had walked in the door.

Finally, finally, the two of you were alone— in fact, you had the whole house to yourself. Leah was out, Mr and Mrs Birch had taken Nick out for dinner which left you and Judd the perfect opportunity to fuck on the living room couch. And you barely got a saying (not that you minded) before Judd was putting that plan into action. 

Scrambling to put your hands under his shirt, you clumsily felt him up— lightly scratching at his abs just how you knew he liked it. He growled, heavy and husky and bit hard on your neck in retaliation. 

A strangled whine escaped you and you pulled at his shirt— you needed it off. You felt him grin against your throat, just the slightest twist of his mouth as he scraped his teeth against you. 

“Use your words, baby,” He breathed, cruelly dragging his teeth so slowly against your sensitive neck and grinding into you— so you could properly feel him. 

It was so unfair, he knew you’d have no chance of responding when he started palming at your tits, squeezing one in each hand. 

You tugged harder, pulling Judd closer to you in the process. “Off.” Was the only thing you were able to whine.

He licked a long stripe up your neck— tasting you to the best of his ability before he obeyed you. He sat on his knees between your legs, and you watched him with a flushed face as he pulled his shirt over his head and discarded it on the floor somewhere. 

Connie, who previously had been banned to the floor where she sat and watched the two of you intensely, stood up— her mouth dropped cartoonishly, hanging on the floor as her tongue lolled out. 

‘Sweet mother of jeebus! Look at those strong, delicious abs..! Lick them— c’mon lick them, hurry! Lick them till he’s all you can taste, sugarplum!’ She cried, and it wasn’t a question, it was a demand. 

You couldn’t help but oblige. You sat up, the way your legs were placed allowing you to straddle him and push him backwards on the couch. To your utter bamboozlement he let you, allowing you control for just a moment as a self-satisfied eyebrow-raise came to his face. 

Half sitting up, he now had the perfect position to ground up into you and you immediately lost what little control you had. Two large hands enclosed around your hips in a lock tight hold—starting a rhythm in which he could press your hips down on his. 

He kissed you then, a tingling feeling erupting in your lower stomach as you tasted the Jack Daniel’s on his tongue. He licked into your mouth with newfound fever, swallowing your desperate yelps and moans— one hand wandering from your hip to your shoulder where he started to push the strap of your tank-top down.

You arched your back, pressing into him, and he took the opportunity to roughly squeeze your ass. In retaliation, you reached a hand down— roughly squeezing his cock through his jeans. 

He groaned, a throaty, baritone sound. “You bitch..!” He cursed and then he was pulling your hair— suddenly pulling you back from his mouth with a harsh tug so he could position you in a way that allowed him to abuse your neck some more. 

He bit you so hard it was sure to leave marks, red and swollen bite marks that would sit on your neck for weeks like an obnoxious neon sign. You sighed and started working his belt—fighting to get it off so you could get your price quicker.

However, just as you were done popping the button on his jeans, the front door clicked and swung open. 

“No, dad! You’re embarrassing me—“

“— You used to love your father’s hugs, Nick, what’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong, mom, but I’m a man now. I don’t want hugs.”

“Awww, please, Nicky. Let me give my little man a hug,” 

“No, dad, leave me a— Judd?” Nick walked further into the room, in an attempt to escape being coddled by his dad— but came face to face with you on top of his older brother instead. 

Judd’s grip on your hair immediately loosened, Connie cursed and tried to close the front door before Elliot and Diane could enter— you sat up, mortified and corrected the strap of your top back to your shoulder. 

“Nick.” Judd stated, barely bothering lifting his head to look at his brother. You, however, stared the tween down wide-eyed. “Fuck off, we’re busy.” He grunted. The very same sentence he said whenever Nick would brother the two of you in his room.

You watched as Nick’s fists clenched, his face going through multiple shades of red till it landed on an angry glare directed at his brother. “Judd, you're such a slut!” He yelled, voice crack audible and was that.. tears in his eyes?  

“Are you going to cry, you little prick?” Judd cackled— sitting upright all the way so his chest was pressed to yours. 

“Now, Nicky, what are you slut-shaming your brother for?” Dr. Birch waltzed through the front door along with his wife— as if this moment couldn’t get any worse. You moved to get off Judd, but when he grunted and held your hips down, you noticed he was indeed still incredibly hard and you would need to sit still, so as to not expose his boner to his family. 

You felt hot, too clammy as red colour spread from your chest all the way to your ears— like a kettle heating. 

‘Yeah, fuck this. Sorry, sweetheart, but I cannot deal with this today! You’re on your own!’ Connie patted your head, slowly backing away and into a portal that would take her to god-knows-where and throwing you a ‘peace out’ sign. Wow. Such support. 

“Look at what he’s doing to Y/n!” Nick accused, waving his arms at the two of you. 

You didn’t know it was possible, but Dr. Birch frowned, looking down at his son. “Now, Nicky, it’s never okay to slut-shame someone, especially not when you’re witnessing such a beautiful moment! Judd is just sharing an intimate moment with Y/n, nothing to be ashamed off,” 

Judd stiffened under you, he was tense, you were tense, both of you embarrassed beyond belief. Your ears burned bright red, horrified. 

Your boyfriend let out a warning growl. “Shut the hell up, dad—“ 

“— Oh, Y/n! It’s so good to see you!” Then it was Diane talking, she walked towards the two of you on the couch with a warm smile. You couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes— not when you were literally sitting on Judd’s boner, so instead you buried your head in his shoulder.

“Good to see you, too, Mrs. Birch..” You muttered, feeling Judd’s hands tighten around you. 

Diane tutted. “Oh, Y/n, no need to be embarrassed. I’m glad you both feel comfortable having sex under our roof, and you are more than welcome to,” 

It was an attempt to soothe you, yet it sounded so warped coming from your boyfriend's mom’s mouth. 

Judd heaved a long sigh. “We have.. shit to do. Leave.” He said, sounding equally as mortified as you felt. 

Mrs. Birch chuckled lightly. “We’ll be upstairs, Juddy. You two just enjoy yourself, and Y/n, please stay for dinner!” She hummed— you wanted to cry. 

You kept your head burrowed into Judd, listening as Mr and Mrs. Birch’s footsteps resounded towards the stairs, yet one pair of feet remained. 

“Get the fuck out, shitface.” Judd deadpanned. 

“I’m allowed to be here, it’s my house too!” Nick was defiant, pouting at his brother.

Judd’s jaw clenched— Nick would definitely come to regret this later. “You have a second to leave before I come over there and rip your beady eyes out, you fucking creep.” His voice was low and carnal and it was clear he meant business— that was no empty threat. 

Nick paled slightly, but before he could even begin to find the right response, Diane called from upstairs; “Nicholas Birch! Go to your room and leave your brother alone, now!”

At that, Nick complied immediately, secretly relieved to get a free ticket out of the situation before Judd would beat him to a pulp as he flew up the stairs.

Reason four (4)

You were sprawled out on Judd’s bed, a raccoon curled on your lap and Connie laying on her back by your feet. She was watching Judd intensely as he worked out— occasionally commenting on his grunts or groans as he lifted the heavy weights. 

You didn’t bother entertaining her, gently stroking the raccoon while scrolling on your phone. The animal chatted to you, small hands wavering about as it chittered. You thoroughly enjoyed moments like this, when you and your boyfriend could co-exist quietly and in peace. Judd was lying on the floor somewhere, having moved on from the weights to instead practise his pushups. The two of you would probably go out later, after the rather excruciating last few interactions you had with Judd’s parents, the two of you decided to skip dinner with them for the time being.

Your phone was hooked to Judd’s speaker, as he had graciously allowed you to play music for him while he worked out. The raccoon in your lap seemed to enjoy your taste in music as well- tail swaying softly to the baseline.

Catching your hormone monster from the corner of your eye, you saw how she stiffened and suddenly sat up. Her hairs stood up, ears turning down as she surveyed the room— she turned to say something to you, but right before the sounds escaped her, three shy knocks came to the door. 

Judd, who was now doing crunches, sat up fully to fix you a blank stare. He gestured towards the door with his head and raised eyebrows, you pouted but got up. The raccoon in your lap protested as you softly shooed it off— it scurried off under the bed to hide from whoever came to disturb you. Connie followed closely behind you, slinking after you like a shadow as you approached the door. 

Opening the door, you were already quite ready to fight off Nick or Mr. Birch, but what you didn’t expect, however, was your sister standing there and wringing her hands with a nervous expression.

“Uh, Jessi?” You didn’t even know she was here, actually you hadn’t seen her since yesterday evening when Judd picked you up from your dad’s.

Connie raised a hand to her face and pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘Oh sweet child..’  She muttered, studying your sister from over your shoulder.

Jessi took a step back, startled, when instead of her crush she came face to face with you in pyjama shorts and one of Judd’s shirts. You bend over a little, to be more on level with her. “What are you doing here? Do you need a lift home, or something?” 

She gaped at you, clearly losing track of whatever she was going to say. You watched, a bit concerned, as gears turned in her head. Then, you felt something, someone, else at your side. You wrinkled your nose as Judd came up besides you— his sweaty palm enclosing around your waist as he pulled you to him. 

You wanted to comment on it— tell him to shower before he got his sweat all over you, but he beat you to it; “Hey Y/n’s sister Jessi.” He grumbled, granting the tween a downwards glance. 

Jessi looked positively constipated, and also a bit like she was going to puke. You freed yourself from Judd— dropping to your knees and gently holding Jessi’s shoulder. “Jessi-bear, are you sick?” 

Connie followed you closely again, this time appearing behind your sister, clutching her closely and spreading a palm over her forehead to feel her temperature. ‘She’s down with a baaad case of Judd fever!’ The monster exclaimed, slightly shaking Jessi, whose blush had now risen from her neck all the way to her ears— colouring her face completely red. 

You sighed as your sister seemed to boot up again from her temporary lockdown. She quickly stepped back from you, and you realised she was holding something behind her hands. Connie noticed it too; ‘Aw Jessi.. So cute, but sad. Very, very sad. Actually kinda pathetic, you better let her down easy, Y/n, sugar.’ 

“I am not Jessi-bear! And I’m not sick! Just.. Just regular, old, fun, Jessi..” She waved you off, and you stood back up— slightly surprised by her outburst.

You tried, and failed, to hide your grin. Apparently, Judd thought your sister's awkward demeanour was funny as well. “Okay, regular, old, fun Jessi. What do you want?” He said, raising a brow at the flustered tween. 

She swallowed thickly, and you fixed Judd a glance that meant ‘don’t be mean’. He retaliated by shrugging and wrapping his arm around you again. Jessi’s blush somehow grew more vivid— she looked a bit like a cat on edge as she dared a glance up at your boyfriend. 

“I was just, y’know, strolling by–” Connie clasped a large paw over her mouth, shaking her again. ‘–Stop talking, baby! Stop talking!’ She howled, though Jessi didn’t seem to hear or even feel her. 

“This hallway has such interesting architecture, did you notice that?” She finished off, fiddling with whatever she had behind her back and making a point of staring at the ceiling instead of Judd. Your boyfriend in question only grunted, keeping his intense glare on Jessi. 

Sighing, you said; “It doesn’t. It’s a hallway. Look, if you need a lift home I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes, but shouldn’t you hang out with your friends or something instead? I’m sure Nick is looking for you,” You hinted, but all you got from Jessi was a vivid glare. 

“Yeah. Actually, you’re right. I was just dropping by, but I’m actually really, really busy, so..” She shifted on her feet, turning to leave and accidentally exposing you to the thing she had been holding. 

Judd’s eyebrows drew closer together, in a full on scowl. “Is that my shirt?”

You snorted. “Oh my god!” You stared at your sister in bewilderment, trying to decide whether it was funny, gross or awkward beyond belief; You settled on a good mix of both.

Immediately, the garment slipped from Jessi’s hands and she paled. “I-I-I found it like this! I just wanted to return it!” She could have puked, breathing speeding up as she fought off the hyperventilation and stared at the two of you with a horrified look that meant you had definitely caught her red-handed. 

“Are you stealing Judd’s shirts? I knew I had a bunch of them, did you seriously take them?” You asked, now mortified. Judd let out a series of low, cackling laughs as you watched your sister tear up. She opened and closed her mouth, fighting to say something but ultimately gave up— running off down the hall as you watched her retreating form with bewilderment. 

You’ve reached the bottom🧍🏻‍♀️thank you for reading this far, haha, I hope you enjoyed it. The last one was heavily inspired by that scene in the new season were Jessie walk in on Judd and his girlfriend(?), I just saw that and needed to write something similar

I’m now on my winter break, and I’ve got a lots of idea for Judd content for y’all this week so look out for that!

With this story, I literally need to add this meme; reblogged to me by @raccoon66

Thank you so much lol, it’s literally the best thing ever 🙏🙏

Tags: @dlfvrr , @bxbyyyjocelyn

[transchesters]

the first time sam wears a dress.

dean had been a boy from the moment he was placed into his mother’s arms as a baby, even though the doctors proclaimed otherwise. even mary knew, when she looked into her child’s eyes, that he was a boy.

and as he grew, mary was proved right. dean threw aside anything with bows or skirts, but his eyes, still filled with wonder at the time, would light up at the blue t-shirts with dinosaur print and the torn up jeans. so deanna turned to dean, and john accepted it as it was. he knew his wife, knew she wasn’t delusional. and when mary got pregnant again, the thought of another boy running around the house with little dean as an older brother filled their hearts with warmth.

maybe sam was too young for mary to know any better, to know that her second son was actually her only daughter. maybe if she had lived past sam’s six-month birthday, she would have dressed her in the little dresses dean had detested.

but mary was dead, and john didn’t care what the hell his boys’ thought. what mattered was raising two hunters, trained to take down the things that ruined their lives. and sam picked up on that at a young age, and kept the deepest parts of herself, *to* herself. all she knew was her older brother and her father; she never got a chance to see any femininity in her life. her life, which for as long as she remembered, was guns and training and learning all the lore.

now, sam is fourteen. now, she is curious about the girls she meets at one school or the other, all with long hair and pretty skirts and colored eyelids. now, sam doesn’t know what’s wrong with her and why she longs for those things.

dean had been out on a supply run with their father, leaving sam to study or do whatever reclusive nerds do in their free time. sam was told to stay home by both dean and john, and they expected her to do exactly that considering most of the time, she was a perfect, obedient son. but could you blame her for wanting a bit more? to want to explore her curiosities and find out what they mean?

so she went to the local thrift shop in their current, rundown town. just to look, that’s all! that’s at least what she told herself as she walked inside and made a beeline for the women’s section.

sam felt close to panicking as she yanks a pale green dress from the racks and rushes over to the cashier. she offers some vague comment that it’s *”for my sister,”* and quickly paid and rushed back to the motel.

it’s late when dean and john return. john retires to his own room immediately, grabbing a beer and bottle of whiskey on the way. he leaves dean to unload supplies and tuck them away wherever they belong in the impala, before he’s shambling into his shared room with sam.

sam, who is standing in front of the bathroom mirror, gazing intently at herself, turning this way and that to watch the flowy dress twirl around her. she’s so lost in her mind that she doesn’t look up until dean slams the door shut, staring at her with wide eyes.

“dean! i-i, uh, i was just-” sam rambles, stumbling over her words as she quickly yanks the dress over her head, balling it up and holding it behind her as if dean will forget she was ever wearing it. “i just thought it was cool, it’s nothing, i swear! please— please don’t tell dad.”

dean feels stupid very suddenly. has he been ignoring obvious signs, similar to ones he showed when he was yonguer? a well of grief opens up within him, one he has worked very hard on squashing into a tiny ball and shoving it in the back of his mind. he misses his mother, and wishes desperately that she were here to help him say the right things.

the look on dean’s face is unreadable as all of this passes through his mind, at least until he remembers to soften it. until he offers sammy a smile. “it’s cool. i get it.”

the words do nothing to quell sam's panic. she shuffles out of the bathroom, keeping the dress clutched tightly behind her as if revealing it to dean would incite some unknowable rage. she is already the freak of the family, the one who wants nothing to do with the guns and the hunting and the moving town to town. and now, she’s a boy who wears dresses. she doesn’s even have the vocabulary to express the fact that she doesn’t feel like a boy at all!

“i'll get rid of it,” she mutters, shoving it under her bed, scrambling to grab one of dean's hand-me-down shirts and pulling it on.

“sammy. it's okay.” dean steps foward as his words still seem to do nothing. he grabs sam's shoulders, forcing her to look at him. “stay,” he states, before he takes a step back and begins to pull off his shirt. sam's face is screwed up, a mixture of confusion and distress, but watches nonetheless as dean drops his shirt to the side, revealing his chest, wrapped in the bandages from their first aid kits as usual.

“i guess i never really explained this to you,” dean mumbles under his breath, scratching at the bandages which make his whole upper body ache, but make his skin crawl when they aren't there. sam fidgets uncomfortably as she stands before her brother, shifting from foot to foot. she doesn't understand what he means, and he *hates* not understanding.

“can we just drop it, please?” she whines, averting her eyes as suddenly, dean begins tugging the bandages from his chest.

“look at me, dumbass,” dean grits out, because he doesn't have the words to explain this any better than just showing sammy.

maybe if things were different. maybe if mary was still here, they would have learned about this together. and when sam finally felt like sharing how she felt, they would be able to explain it to her together.

but mary is dead, and dean doesn't know what he is or what sam is other than winchesters'.

sam lifts her eyes finally when dean tells her to, and it's like she's seeing his brother for the first time. sure, she has seen dean naked before. they've shared a room forever, lived in impossibly small quarters, sometimes just the impala's backseat when john was too tired or drunk to find them a place. dean’s chest was different than his own, but he had never really thought about it. dean was a boy, and sam was a boy, and he never knew anything other than that.

until now.

sam’s eyes well up with tears as she finally understands. she and her brother are the same, yet different. she understands, and she feels understood, and it's so entirely overwhelming that she can't help but sniffle and wipe at her wet eyes.

dean rolls his eyes, his cheeks heating up as he yanks his shirt back on. “knock it off, sammy,” he grumbles, but there is a note of fondness in his voice he can't help. “it's fine. we'll deal with it.”

they both know it's going to suck. dean was lucky to look boyish enough that he passed pretty well. under his dad's big jacket and his oversized, thrifted clothes, no one questioned him. but sam thinks it won't be quite the same for her. and what is she supposed to tell her dad?!

perhaps those are questions for another time.

when sam pulls the dress back on under her big shirt and crawls into bed that way, dean doesn't say anything. when dean wraps his chest again, sam looks away. she wonders if the bruises lining his sides hurt. she wonders why their bodies are the way they are, both itching for the other's skin. why must sam’s chest concave when dean wants nothing but a falt chest? why must dean hide curved hips under baggy jeans when sam wishes she had anything besides her stick-like figure?

the sibilings go to sleep, a little more in tune with the other, and a little bit sadder for the other.

[queenimmadolla]

Baby Blurbs 💛

can i request eddie & tequila with a genre of your choice ✨

𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐩, 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐬𝐚𝐝 (are you guys okay???)

Eddie stared out of the window of the van, cigarette held to his lips as he took a deep drag, ash, crumbling down onto his pants.

He was parked outside of The Hideout. Had been for a couple of minutes now. There were only four other cars in the makeshift dirt parking lot, one of which was yours.

You were the reason why he was here in the first place. Had been running away from him the whole day, not that he’d been chasing you. Eddie had been avoiding you, too.

Until you’d walked into the diner, earlier tonight, and seen him with his friends and another band. You’d immediately walked out and while he hadn’t gone after you then, Eddie knew a talk was needed.

You hadn’t been at your house, hadn’t been with your friends and he just so happened to pass by the bar when he spotted your car.

Exhaling the nicotine cloud out the window, Eddie rolled it up and stepped out of the van, dropping the cigarette to the ground and putting it out with his shoe as he stared at the neon sign flashing in front of the entrance.

Eddie had a bad feeling about this but he couldn’t say he’d had a whole lot of good ones in the last couple of months.

He trudged forward, pushing the heavy wooden door open. There were hardly any occupants, a band of teenagers he didn’t recognize playing on the stage, reminding him of Corroded Coffin’s earlier days.

There was a couple in a corner booth, a few stragglers in the tables near the stage and Eddie found you at the bar, perched on a stool with your chin in your hands and a shot glass in front of you.

He swallowed, tucking his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket for the short walk towards you. 

You didn’t stir when he sat next to you, didn’t even glance up at him. Your big eyes housed a sadness that made something in him ache, the corners of your lips just slightly turned down.

He shifted in his seat, prying his hands out of his pockets to rap his knuckles against the bar top, rifling through his brain to come up with something, anything to say.

“What’s your poison?” he finally asked, jutting his chin towards the full shot glass in front of you.

You didn’t respond, still staring at all the bottles lining the back of the wall, but not really taking them in. Acted like he wasn’t there.

So, Eddie reached forward and took your glass, bringing it up to his nose for a whiff, “Tequila. Nice choice, your stomach is─”

“I think we should take a break.”

You whispered it so quietly that Eddie almost hadn’t heard you. Almost.

He was shocked, mouth parted slightly as he felt his blood run cold.

You finally looked at him, head barely turning and the pain in your gaze was enough to hurt Eddie, have tears lining his own eyes.

Your eyes were red, having already cried your heart out while you drove mindlessly around town after you’d walked into your favorite diner to see Eddie with his other life, his bandmates you were familiar with, other people you weren’t and his arm around a girl who wasn’t you.

Bleach blonde with deep blue eye who fit his aesthetic, looked like she belonged with him. 

The realization hit you hard, not because you hadn't seen it coming, but because it had always been just a couple of paces behind you since Eddie had committed to music.

He’d started touring around the area, then out of state. It wasn’t so bad at first, he’d call and he was still your mushy boyfriend, then suddenly the calls became less frequent, until you barely got them. 

And the drugs. Eddie started using more, relying on them. When he did come home, he was usually passed out,  if he wasn’t hanging out with anyone who wasn’t you.

You fought a lot. Not just arguments, it was yelling and screaming and tears and doors slamming with feelings hurt.

Having him home didn’t feel like you thought it would. You were lonelier and sadder than ever and he was just on the other side of the bed.

What you’d seen today was just the topping on the shitty cake.

“I’m so sad, Eddie.” You stated, a hot tear trailing down your cheek and slipping under your chin. You didn’t bother wiping it, not when you knew more would come, “I’m so sad because I miss you so much and you’re right here.”

“We can work on it, baby. I love─” He tried, breath hitching but you squeezed your eyes shut, pressing your lips together to try to keep from full on bawling again because you needed to say this.

“I know, Eddie. I know you love me. And I love you. I love you so much. I want to marry you, I want to have your babies, I want to be with you all the time. But we’re not good for each other right now, Eds. I love you so much it hurts. Love isn’t supposed to hurt, not like this.”

Eddie was upset, too. While his tears had yet to leak, they flooded his eyes and you were surprised his waterline could even keep them at bay. He looked like he was in agony.

“No, baby, we can fix this. We can—therapy. We can do therapy. I’m sorry I made you feel like this but we can─”

“It’s not just you, Eddie. I know I don’t make you happy.” It killed you to say it outloud, your worst fear and something he’d reassured you would never be possible. That had been when the two of you were younger and naive enough to think love could save anything, that love was enough. If that  was true, the world would be a much better place.

But it wasn’t. Because love isn't enough. Love couldn’t save your relationship with Eddie. 

Maybe you could.

“That’s not true─”

“Eddie,” Your eyes pleaded with him not to lie to you to save your already wounded heart and he squeezed his eyes shut, fingers rubbing at them and smearing the wetness around his eyelashes.

It’d be easy to paint Eddie as the villain, the downfall, but it’d be a lie. You didn’t make him happy anymore, just like he didn’t make you happy. You couldn’t imagine how annoying all your pestering was, the equivalent of a boyfriend blowing up the phone of some club you were at while out on the town with your girls, having the time of your life.

Eddie couldn’t enjoy the fast life and wild nights with his friends because you were constantly worried, constantly leaving messages for him at hotels and when you were with him, you were so in your head that you also weren’t present with him. Not fully enjoying any of his concerts or the after parties he’d take you to, and you picked fights just as much as he did. 

Eddie was entitled, and had earned the right to enjoy the scene he’d clawed his way into. You were upset because you didn’t fit into it, just like he didn’t seem to fit into your life anymore. You knew nothing was going on with that girl you’d seen him have his arm around at the diner, she was probably a part of the other band he was with. Should he have put himself in that situation? Probably not. Should you have let the man who bought you that shot talk you up? Probably not. Probably shouldn’t have flirted back with him because you were vulnerable, regardless of how coy and innocent it had seemingly been. Eddie was vulnerable, too.

You were both just unfortunate victims to circumstance. 

“I know I don’t make you happy anymore. It’s okay. I call you all the time when you’re away, even when I know you’re not up to anything because I’m lonely. We don’t even really talk when I do. And I’m lonely when you’re with me, too. Now, we don’t talk when you’re away or here. And sometimes that makes me feel happy, relieved. I know you feel the same way, Eddie. It’s okay.”

Eddie put his face in his hands, silently weeping against his palms because you were right. All the two of you did lately was fight, be it passive aggressively or not, and avoid each other. Couldn’t fight if you weren’t talking, it was a relief to know neither of you was actively hurting each other with harsh words and accusations. Eddie never wanted to hurt you. He loved you.

“So, let’s just take a break, okay? See what it is we really want. I know this sucks, but I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at this. It’s life and it sucks, but there’s not much else we can do unless we want to keep forcing this until we hate each other. I don’t want to hate you. I don’t want to hate us.”

“I love you,” he croaked out, pulling his face from his hands to reveal red eyes with tear trails staining his cheeks, “I love you so much, I want to marry you, too, and I want you to have my babies and I want to wake up to you every day of my life.”

Your smile was a watery one and you knew if you stayed any longer, you’d stay. And you and Eddie would have a ticking clock over your heads, a deadline, a guaranteed end to your relationship in a big, fiery ball of resentment and hatred.

So, you wiped your face, gathered your bag and stood up. You took Eddie’s face in your hands and pressed the most tender kiss to his wet cheek, allowing your lips to linger as your heart begged you to stay, to feed into each other’s misery, let it all fall apart and watch if it meant you still got to be Eddie’s girl.

Another tear fell from your eye, though it landed on Eddie’s skin instead of yours.

“I love you, Eddie. I hope someday it’ll be enough. It’s just not right now, baby.”

You pressed your forehead against his, the two of you crying together for a moment before you pulled away, “Take care of yourself, Eds, okay?” 

Your thumb wiped some of his tears away and you gave him one last smile before you went for the door.

Eddie watched you until you were gone, and he stared at the door long after.

It was only when the bartender made a last call announcement that he stirred, downing your shot before he crept out of the bar, fully intent on grieving for the rest of the night, the rest of his life.

[negronispagliato]

little by little (an interlude) || eivor varinsdottir

summary: after this, what comes after what you used to be.

words: 1.4K ish

pairing: eivor x fem!reader

themes: established relationship, breakup to makeup, yearning, pining, all that good stuff, hurt/comfort

divider by @/cafekitsune

It’s funny how no matter how long you’ve been away from home, it can still look and feel and smell like it. 

You were curled up on Eivor’s leather couch, with your feet tucked in beneath her legs. Neither of you were really paying attention to the movie, a cheesy rom-com that reflected your current ….whatever this was between the two of you.

But Eivor liked this, just being able to exist with you. 

You’d ended up in her apartment without any plans. It had been a horribly long week at work dealing with putting out fires, and you were already fraying at the edges.

It didn’t really occur to you that you had called Eivor for comfort, or what it would mean when she invited you over to her apartment. 

The two of you had made great efforts to start over over the last few months, but still, there was a formal awkwardness neither of you could shake. 

Being like this with her reminds you of all the times Eivor has been your source of comfort. She knew when to leave you alone, when to comfort your physical pain, or simply needing her to be there without saying or doing anything at all. 

The takeaway that was ordered was consumed long ago, with your phone nestled in between crumpled napkins and stale fortune cookies that talked about life beginning anew. 

Despite you being here with her, Eivor couldn’t help but still feel like she was drowning in that melancholy. The sadness stewed in her heart and made her stomach sink when she remembered how often she’d find you like this, on the couch waiting up for her when she kept coming home from work later, and later, and even later. 

There were a lot of sleepless nights. Mornings were dull without you waking her up with kisses on her shoulder, or you curling up to her for warmth and asking her for a few more minutes of sleep before she really had to go.

“I missed this. I…missed you.” She mumbles, hesitant breath escaping before her confession, as her calloused fingers massaging your legs to release some of the pain. 

You didn’t even have the energy to argue against her, to remind her why the breakup had happened in the first place and why she didn’t have to miss you.

From you, there was only a hum followed by a long, pensive pause. 

“You didn’t take any of my stuff down.” You can already feel the tears pricking at your eyes, partly because of the fact that you missed her so hard and so much your heart felt like it could burst. 

“Just never got around to it. Wasn’t really home much.”

Eivor couldn’t look at you, but the strain in her voice and the way she sniffled told you everything. 

“I missed you, too.” 

Eivor looks at you when she hears that, almost in disbelief. She felt anxious, her heart rushing with hope. 

“Can we go to bed?” You asked, almost embarrassed that you had entertained the idea of missing her at all. 

You slowly peel yourself from the couch, dragging your feet to the bedroom you two used to share. You hear the noise of her turning off the tv and the lights, and by the time she gets to you you’re already pulled one of her threadbare shirts over your body, your clothes politely crumpled into a pile somewhere. 

You noticed how she hadn’t gotten rid of the signs of you having lived here either. Knowing that Eivor was simmering in all of that on her own, it made you want to cry. 

“C-can you get my socks? The fluffy ones?” You asked her with a wobbly smile, sitting on the bed. 

“Sure, I know the ones.”

For a moment, Eivor drops all pretense of propriety, and helps you put them on. She didn’t want to pay mind to how her hands trembled being able to feel your skin again, how tempted she felt to place a kiss here and there to make you laugh like she used to. 

You sigh in relief when your feet feel warm (and her hands are on your skin, of course). Eivor helps you get into bed, excusing herself for a moment to change.

Normally, she wouldn’t wear anything to bed, but the two of you were still working out whatever this…was, and she didn’t think she’d be able to cross that boundary just yet. 

Even as you practically hid under the sheets that still smelled like you and her, you didn’t mind all that much as you caught a glimpse of her muscular back as she changed into an old band tee and sweats. 

“Come to bed?” Your voice is watery, and she can tell that everything that’s happening is a lot for you. Eivor feels her heart melt when you pull back the covers, seeing you so vulnerable and feeling small. 

“Yeah, alright.” Eivor crawls into bed, lying down on her side to face you. It’s the first time in a long while she gets to just admire you without any interruptions, to take in all the details of a face she’d only seen in her dreams after you’d gone.  

A small giggle escapes your lips in a whisper as you notice the blue of her eyes scan your face, and it makes her smile a little too. 

“What?” Your question is a whisper, and the delicacy of it makes Eivor chuckle. 

“You look different, but the same.” 

“How so?” 

Eivor tentatively reaches out, wondering if out of all the boundaries that were lept across today, this one would be okay with you too. But you make no visible signs of disagreeing, so her calloused, tattooed fingers gently brush the side of your face. 

“Like the way you used to when you first moved in.” She continues, “You were so happy.” 

“And I am, right now, with you.” 

There’s a inkling of hope that blooms in Eivor’s heart, and in threatens to break out into a smile on her face. But still, she’s so scared of fucking up whatever this is that she doesn’t want you to disappear. 

She couldn’t bear with it if you left her all over again, even if it was her fault. 

You notice the hesitant smile on Eivor’s face. Your hand reaches out to cup it softly, humming happily as she leaned into your touch. Scooting close to each other, legs and arms happily tangle with each other like pieces of the puzzle that were always meant to fit even after a long time of being lost, hidden from each other. 

Eivor hums as she feels your fingers that were holding her face, trace over the scar on her cheek and drift into her golden hair. She could practically purr at the feeling of your nails gently scratching her scalp, especially over the shaved parts. 

You’re not opposed to it when Eivor scoops you entirely into her strong arms, tucking her face into your neck and breathing you in. Her relief was palpable, especially when you melted into her embrace as her hands pushed up the back of your shirt to feel your skin on hers. 

She just wanted to make sure you were real, and the embrace feels like the most soothing balm on all the months worth of heartbreak between you two that were like a soggy spot in the mattress. 

“Eivor?” 

The way she was embracing you had you lying down a little higher than her, effectively making you the big spoon. Her face was tucked somewhere in between your neck and your décolleté, breathing in the scent of you to calm her nerves.

Being this way let you hug her to you closer, an arm around her while the other lying on her like a soothing weight as your fingers rubbed soft circles into her scalp.

“I...loved you.” You whisper into her hair as you kiss it, “I still do - love you so much.” 

Eivor hugs you tighter to her, and you can hear the way the tears that are threatening to fall with the way she breathes. 

“I love you too,” Her voice is but a sigh, but you hear it all the same, “Du er mitt alt.”

There was definitely a conversation that was best saved for the morning.

But for now? For now, you’d let each other indulge in the unspoken truth that the two of you had each other back. 

[luvcosmos]

CLEMENTINE SLICES

PAIRING: Miguel O'Hara x AFAB!Reader TAGS: Fluff if you squint, Angst, Mentions of Death, Spoilers for ATSV, Not proofread WORDS: 2.3k EXCERPT: This. He thought. This is why he's here. To keep you and Gabi safe, happy. To make sure none of you would ever endure the pain of losing a loved one.

Gabriela’s favorite fruit is clementine.

Her love for the fruit may seem like a small insignificant detail, but it’s one of the first things Miguel made sure to remember before he entered this universe and took the place of your Miguel.

It’s Sunday and today, he’s taken you and Gabi to the park, just like his alternate self always does. The simple routine of sitting side by side at the bench, it’s important to him that things remain the same—with you none the wiser of the truth.

Your head rested on Miguel’s shoulder as you both watched Gabi run around and play. His arm is wrapped around your shoulders and he’s ardently and hopelessly in love with you.

It’s taken him by surprise, that he’ll fall deeply in love. It feels like his feet have been swept off the floor, but he supposes it was inevitable. He’s watched your life with his doppelgänger after all, saw how much you loved so passionately and the way you didn’t tolerate any bullshit from him or anyone.

That’s why he was so terrified when he finally saw you for the first time. He was worried that you’d see through him immediately but by some unknown miracle, instead of the harsh questions of ‘who are you?’ that he expected, you had wrapped your arms around him, scolded him for coming home late but still kissed him so softly and dismissed his strange behavior with an order to get some rest.

Your name has been carved into his heart ever since.

“Time flies by so fast,” You suddenly spoked wistfully, interrupting his train of thoughts. “Look at her, I can’t believe our little girl’s ten years old now.”

Miguel let out a smile, one that softened his entire face and crinkled his eyes at the corners. He squeezed your shoulders briefly with his arm and hesitated for a moment before pressing a kiss to your head.

“Time does fly,” He agreed. “It feels like it was just yesterday when I was holding your hand and supporting you as you worked hard to bring Gabi into this world.”

The lie came so easily to him, that he almost tricked himself that it was actually him in the delivery room while you gave birth and not another man who shared his name and face.

(A pang of pain gripped his heart and there was a sudden urge to run and take you and Gabi to safety. He ignored it though. He made sure that no enemies of his will be able to discover that he has a family here.)

“Oh yeah? That’s not what I just remember from that day.” You began to tease, “You were so nervous - more nervous than me, when my water broke. And you cried when you first held Gabi in your arms that day.”

Miguel felt his heart become soothed at your words, forgetting about his unease as the corners of his mouth turned up.

He remembered seeing that day through the screens, it was Lyla who showed it to him. Gabi was already born when his AI found this universe, but she had gone through previous moments of the life that the other version of him had.

“This might be a sign for you to go live the life you’ve always wanted.” She had said to him then. Who would’ve thought that he’d be here now?

He realized that he’s gone silent for a moment as he got lost in his thoughts. Clearing his throat, he tucked you closer to his side as he decided to tease you back, “Weren’t you also busy cursing me out that time?”

You laughed at his words, pinching his thigh slightly in mock offense as you retorted, “Yeah, well, who else was I supposed to curse at? You’re her father so you deserved it.”

The two of you shared a chuckle and Miguel removed his arm around your shoulders to intertwine his hand with yours. “Thank you for going through all that pain to bring our daughter into this world,” He murmured as he brought your hand up to his lips to press a soft kiss on the back of your hand.

You practically melted at his gratefulness as you smiled fondly at him. “What are you talking about?” You started, “You have nothing to thank me for. It was our dream, after all.”

Your free hand reached up to rest a hand on his cheek, “And I wouldn’t have been able to do it if you weren’t by my side, ready to buy me any food I craved, and massage my feet whenever I needed it. That day might’ve been stressful and painful, but it was worth it.” You added.

Miguel stayed quiet for a moment as he stared into your eyes. It was like an invisible string tugged him closer to you and slowly, watching you for any sign of discomfort, his right hand cupped your chin gently and he leaned in to press his lips against yours.

Your eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of his lips touching yours. The way he kissed you has changed, it’s gentler, maybe even a little unsure, but it has never made you feel less loved by him.

He reluctantly pulled away; his eyes stared at you with an awed adoring look. He nudged his nose gently against yours, “You’re right, my love. It’s more than worth it.” He whispered softly and his eyes drifted over to Gabi.

While he has his eyes on her, you have yours on him and you saw how his body tensed like he was ready to stand up when he saw her trip, but he relaxed when he saw his daughter get up with a laugh. It takes everything in you to stop yourself from smiling at the sight.

Your husband might’ve been acting off the past couple of weeks but he’s still as protective and loving towards your family as ever.

Although, it still bothered you when you couldn’t help but notice the unusual tone of soberness in his voice when he said it was worth it. It makes you wonder if he might mean something else too but before you could ask, Miguel pressed one last kiss on your forehead before slowly letting go of your hand and he moved to take a clementine from the food basket at his side.

“Gabriela will be a little hungry once she takes a break from playing,” He stated. “I should get it peeled for her now.”

He has only started to thumb away the skin of the fruit but somehow, as if she had supernatural senses, your daughter chooses that moment to glance back at you two and immediately hones in on the clementine Miguel is holding.

Her brown eyes widened almost comically, and she waved goodbye to her playmates before running back to where you and Miguel are sitting. Soon enough, the little girl is in front of you with her eyes staring at her father expectantly.

Miguel arched an eyebrow at his daughter, “Can I help you?” He asked with an amused expression.

Gabi only shifted her feet eagerly and held her palms out, her eyes drifting to look at him and the clementine. “Papa, I want one.”

He let out a small chuckle while you smiled fondly as you watched the two interact, silently reaching out a hand to tuck a loose hair softly behind Gabi’s ear.

“Oh, is that why you’re here? Not to say hi to mama and papa, check if we’re okay?” He teased her.

You can’t help but giggle softly and share a fond smile with your husband as Gabi breaks her gaze from the fruit and looked up at both of you worriedly.

“Mama and papa not okay?” She asked immediately with a small frown, standing up on her tiptoes with her hands now leaning on Miguel’s knees as if that would help her see what could possibly be ailing her parents.

Miguel softened and gave his daughter one of those smiles that was reserved just for his girls. If you weren’t so enamored, you would’ve laughed at how comically it looked to have this broad and strong man be so soft and gentle around you and Gabi.

“We’re okay, sweetheart.” He reassured her.

Your daughter, having the same overprotective instincts as her father— doesn’t believe Miguel at first. She ran her eyes over you both, double checking before she nodded with a smile, satisfied with her inspection. “Okay… that’s good.” She scooted closer, her eyes now looking at her father pleadingly.

He clicked his tongue at her, “Clean your hands first, baby.”

Gabi quickly turned to you then as you reached into your bag and pulled out a pack of wet wipes. You opened it and took one before handing it over to your daughter.

“Thank you, mommy.” She said, and under your gentle guidance, she wiped her hands thoroughly and carefully. Once she was done, she tossed the wipe inside the little trash can that you carried along and turned to Miguel once again, showing her hands proudly. “Clean now, papa!” She exclaimed, “Now can I have one?”

“Gabriela, what do we say when we ask for something?” Miguel questioned in a stern but soft tone.

Gabi pouts at him for a moment before she replied, “Can I have one please, papa?”

Your husband nodded his approval with a soft smile and handed her the clementine slice, making sure that she holds it carefully first and won’t ruin her clothes, before turning to you with another slice held gently between his fingers and lifting it up to your lips to feed you.

You smile gratefully at him, popping the clementine into your mouth.

He watched you fondly as you ate and swiftly swipes his thumb below your lower lip. There’s really nothing to clean there, he just wanted an excuse to touch you.

He alternated between handing Gabi a slice of clementine and then feeding you one with a feeling of warmth and belonging in his heart. It’s like this is what he was meant to do all this time, his dreams finally come true. He’d peel a million clementines and more, if only that meant he would always have you and his daughter by his side.

This. He thought. This is why he’s here. To keep you and Gabi safe, happy. To make sure that none of you would ever endure the pain and suffering of losing a loved one. Gabi will never lose her father and you will never lose your husband.

Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he’s a selfish man. That’s why he feels no guilt or remorse for his actions.

If you asked him, he’ll even say that the Miguel of this universe would approve. He knows himself well enough that he’d want you two to be happy and safe no matter what universe or version of him is present.

So instead of wallowing in guilt, he watched his wife, his daughter with a smile on his face.

(But there’s that pang of pain in his chest again. A feeling of anxiety and worry that he can’t explain.)

He looked around cautiously for any threat of danger that might be causing this feeling. He might not have a Spider-Sense compared to the other Spiders in the society, but he’d be a fool to ignore his gut.

The park is full of other families taking advantage of the sunny weather to relax and spend time with each other. He saw children running around, dogs barking, and couples taking a stroll together. There’s nothing out of the ordinary that could explain this feeling of unsafety and yet his heart continued to beat faster with anxiety.

There’s something wrong. He realized.

He can’t explain it but he’s certain something is wrong.

His body tensed up and without realizing it, he’s got a protective arm around you while his other arm tugged Gabi close to his side.

His unease only intensified when the bright sky slowly turned gray, the sun nowhere to be found. That’s when he saw it. Somewhere in the distance, there is a dark shadow form warping into different sizes and shapes. He squinted his eyes, and it also looked like the form is... glitching?

He wants to run. He needs to run. He needs to take you and Gabi somewhere safe. But his legs aren’t moving, and he can’t move his eyes away from the shadow form no matter how hard he tries.

HE CAN’T BREATHE

He can hear you and Gabi calling out to him, but it sounds muffled. Like he’s being pulled deep underwater and the two of you are far away from him, out of his reach. Out of his protection.

“Miguel!” He heard you shouting now. “MIGUEL!”

His head snapped to the side so quickly that he almost got a whiplash, but the empty side of his bed is what greeted him instead of your face.

Cold sweat dripped down his body as his breaths came out heavily. Miguel looked around with wide eyes, looking for you and Gabi with panic and fear gripping his heart, before he realized it was all a dream.

A memory of his past haunting him like a ghost.

He sighed heavily before swinging his legs to the side of the bed, running a shaky hand on his face as he sat up.

He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to push the memories away but even then, he could still see your face and his daughter. The two people that he failed. The two people that died because of him.

But still, he can’t bring himself to wish that he’ll stop dreaming about you or Gabi. Even if it’s painful and it reminds him of how much he fucked up because of his own selfishness, he’d rather keep on having these dreams than forget about his family entirely.

No matter how much time has passed, he will always carry you two with him. The only pain that he welcomes with open arms, the only pain he will never get rid of, because it’s a pain he deserves.

He will never be able to look at clementines the same way ever again.

[mrslankyman]

You’re Losing Me

Mike Schmidt x (fem) Reader

!not proof read!

you say

“I don’t understand.”

And I say

“I know you don’t.”

No cure was going to come to the relationship. No amount of flowers, i’m sorries and kisses would fix this. He never was around. Why should you stay?

He was losing you slowly.

He didn’t even notice at first. Nor did you. It felt fine. He always went to work. He was gone for so long. When he was home he was asleep. Your work schedule and his didn’t line up.

Abby and you hung out more. She was almost like a daughter. You had been dating Mike for 4 years. You’d take Abby to school go to work and then pick her up on your lunch. Rushing back to work after Max showed up.

At first Mike sleeping and trying to save his brother didn’t bother you. He was after all in a hard spot.

You’d gently get into bed. Feeling his arms wrap around you. Pulling you close. A small smile came to your face.

He loved you.

Didn’t he?

Those feelings. Thoughts. Doubts.

Why didn’t he say he loved you?

You couldn’t recall the last time you and Mike even had a conversation. That wasn’t short and simple.

You’d feel his arms slip away from you at 11. He got ready for work and headed out. The rest of the night you’d be alone. Softly crying. Before he got fired from his mall job he was home more.

He’d help cook dinner, play with you and Abby. You knew he had a hard life. He was struggling. Who wouldn’t?

But a small ‘I love you’ wasn’t asking for much. A small kiss on the cheek before he left for work, even if he thought you were asleep. Wouldn’t that be simple?

Today was the breaking point. It was your birthday. It was marked on the calendar in the kitchen. Abby had even mentioned it for the whole week.

You told Mike about the small party that was going to happen at your friends house. You took Abby over. Mike said he’d be there at 5. He had plenty of time to get there. It started at 3. He just wanted to sleep a little.

You understood and told him you’d see him there.

Hannah didn’t understand why he didn’t show up. You were the best thing at this party. It was about you. Why didn’t he come? It was your birthday. 5 passed by. 5:30 still no show. 7.. then 9.. then Abby fell asleep on the couch.

To fake smile and laugh was hard. Your heart ached. Why didn’t he come? It was your birthday. He knew about it. He was more than likely going to say he forgot.

You bid everyone goodbye and took your presents to the car. As well as Abby. At least she had fun. You drove home. Gently laying Abby down in her bed and tucking her in. Whispering good night before leaving her room.

You walked to you and Mikes shared room. You laid down gently. He usually felt you lay down and wrapped his arms around you.

He didn’t tonight.

He was losing you.

Why didn’t he act like he cared? He used to.

You let it go. You didn’t mention it. Afraid of his reply. Afraid you’d lash out at him and say things you didn’t mean.

You decided to just glare at him every morning.

Storms clouded your eyes as he got ready for work. He never noticed. No amount of signs got to him. He didn’t get what he was doing was hurting you.

When he did one night come home and walk up to you it shocked you.

He wrapped his arms around you. Pulling you close. The smell of his cologne clogged your nose. The warm feeling of his body engulfed you.

But there was no pulse for him.. no heart racing feeling as he touched you.

Your face was pale. He never did admit you looked sick. He must not remember how red your face got anytime he hugged or touched you. Even in 4 years he still had that effect. Not anymore.

“I love you.” His words bounced off you like a bullet bouncing off a shield. You didn’t even say it back. You just glared at him. Abby was in her room coloring. You didn’t want her to hear you two fight.

So you didn’t say anything. You just walked off to the kitchen. He stood there. Confused. Why didn’t you say it back?

He went back to ignoring you. He always did. Why try to change the ending you knew was coming?

Saturday finally showed. One of the days you got to see him. And even on those days he’d sleep or just say he wants to be alone. He never used to do this till he got this new job. It’s been 5 months. What was up?

Abby had gone to a friends. The air was thick with loss and indecisions. Why was it to so hard to talk to him now? He felt like a stranger.

You gently walked down the hall to your shared room. Opening the door you walked up to him. Pushing his head phones off his head slowly. His eyes opened and he looked at you.

Annoyance was apparent in his eyes. “What?” He asked his voice gruffy. “I just.. we need to talk Mike.” You pleaded. He simply sat up and sighed. “About what?” He looked straight through you. It’s like he didn’t even know you were there.

Like you were a burden to him.

“What is up with you?” You voice was shaky. It was too late. You were broken.

“What do you mean?” He didn’t get it. He didn’t understand why you were acting like this.

“Why do you ignore me Mike? Why can’t you just talk to me? Really talk to me?” It was over. Tears flowed down your face.

“You need to choose something..”

“Babe..” his voice interrupted you

“I got nothing to believe anymore, unless you’re choosing me.”

“I.. I want to choose you. Work is a lot and you know that I have a lot of things going on-“

“Just stop..” your voice cut through him. He saw the look on your face. It was over. He could tell. How couldn’t he tell sooner?

“You’ve already lost me Mike.. I’m.. I can’t do this.” It slashed his heart into two. You know what they say. You don’t know what you got until it’s gone.

“I don’t understand Y/N.” He stood up quickly.

“I know you don’t..” You walked down the hall. You’d stay at your moms for a while. She’d understand. She knew how it was going anyways.

It was getting too much. He rushed down the hall after you. Begging and pleading you to stay.

You didn’t want to.

4 years of your life. You have to him. Giving him all your empathy and best you’s. Trying to make his life better.

He was destined to be miserable in his own world.

The thoughts you used to have. Marrying him. Being his wife. Buying a better house. Giving Abby the future she deserved. Was over.

You’d miss Abby. So terribly much. It hurt you more to think of her than Mike.

He didn’t understand he was losing you.

You just wanted him to see you again. To love you truly again.

“Y/N.” You stopped at your car. Wiping the tears from your eyes. He stood there at the door. And in a moment he rushed to you.

Grabbing you and pulling you close. He couldn’t lose you. He wouldn’t let you go.

“I’ll do better, please don’t leave. I need you. I need you in my life.. I’ll find a new job. I wanna talk now.” His voice filled your ears. Made your heart start again.

A pulse.

“I.. okay Mike.. I’ll give this one more chance..” he smiled and kissed you softly. You never knew such a soft kiss could display such emotions.

You worked on it. Wanting to keep this family going. He got a new job. It wasn’t the best but a day shift was better than nothing.

You vowed to always be his.

Because you both survived the Great War.