#especially when I can’t even get PIP.

[exhaustedwerewolf]

christ. texted me boss I’d be in tomorrow and I’m feeling better. only for her to be like well your gp declared you unfit for work so hr won’t let you work. only for me to be like. okay I’ll see if I can get my gp to declare me fit for work in the morning I guess since it’s an afternoon/evening shift… only to start feeling unwell.

[cocoreallylovesraiden]

Hi hi hi! Loved ur mk1 sick!reader headcanons, they so silly so cute!

May I request headcanons for hypersomniac!reader? Like they're always tired and sleepy. I mainly wanna see Shang Tsung and Kenshi <3 so feel free to include anyone else you'd like, male or female 🥰

MK1 characters and hypersomniac! reader

(shang tsung, kenshi, kung lao + extra lin kuei trio)

this request was from MARCH um hey... hi... sorry... but im back....requests are open....

Shang Tsung

-He seems like the extremely productive type, so I can’t say I think he’d appreciate someone who is on the more tired side. 

-Will be a gigantic diva whenever you mention it, talking about how ‘he’s been up for thirty hours and hasn’t so much as made a pip!’ 

-Would make all sorts of alarming potions and elixirs to prevent you from feeling drowsy- for the most part they don’t work because he doesn't really know how to make things without lethal side effects (and does not want you to DIE)

-He makes a big deal that he’s going to dissect you or experiment on you if you fall asleep as a scare tactic, and you’ll jolt awake from a sweaty nap terrified that you don’t have all your limbs

-(You are just in the corner of his work space, bundled in pelts and left untouched) (This is overkill on the pelts you are melting here.)

-He turns around and looks at you like WHAT! WHAT DO YOU WANT! NO I DIDN’T EXPERIMENT ON YOU ARE YOU STUPID!! But it is ultimately well meaning… you think?

-In all honesty I think Shang Tsung is the kind to get irritated by constant noise, especially when he’s trying to focus, so if you’re more mellow because of it, he would personally appreciate it. 

-He will exclusively refer to you as sleepyhead or ‘you sleeping lug’ thought i hope you're ok with that

-Will flick your nose if he sees you nodding off

Kenshi

-I feel like he’d be an insomniac, losing sleep because of everything he’s gone through

-Depending on his mood he’d either be irritated or soothed by your hypersomniac tendencies 

-Though because he's an earthrealmer (read: someone with a phone and google) he’d be able to do his own research and realize that it’s something that can impact you too 

-Just like how nights are hard for him, daytime can be a struggle for you as well, and as much as he can rationalize this his head he does metaphorically roll his (late) eyes when he sees you nodding off.

-He feels very chivalrous when you fall asleep against his shoulder so it does get  you good brownie points there

-If someone noisier came in he’d do the super suave cool guy thing where he just puts a finger to his lips and then points at you (would feel very cool afterwards)

-In the event that yall go grocery shopping he will be at the pharmacist counter the entire time asking about vitamins supplements remedies etc and in the end you’ll have a bedside table full of pill bottles that make you feel geriatric 

-Will use you feeling tired as an excuse to leave any social function and will be so happy (you were not fine he was just extremely overwhelmed) ((he hates house parties the floor plan is unfamiliar))

-He’s lived a stressful life and is thankful to take it slower with you

-Until you’ve fallen asleep halfway through a movie and he needs you to describe a scene GET UP I NEED TO KNOW WHAT SWORD THE GUY IS USING IS IT ACCURATE

Kung Lao 

-Takes it upon himself to jumpscare you the moment he sees you dozing off

-He just finds it hilarious, and you DID say you wanted to feel less tired throughout the day!

-Unfortunately he’d be the least gracious about it if you were sensitive about your hypersomnia (even against shang god bless you) but would also never take it to heart

-Maybe the first or second time you fell asleep around him, he’d worry that you found him boring, but once you explain it to him he Does Not Mind at all

-I mean it's The Great Kung Lao how can you NOT feel lulled to sleep safe and sound (completely rhetorical question)

-In all honestly I think your condition might start to change the most you spend around him, either you’d become totally immune to him and therefore ALL noise intervention, or start being more awake

-Would start stacking mahjong tiles on your head, tying your shoelaces together, seeing how much he could do before you woke up

-This means that if you caught him dozing off you have full permission to take his hat and run off to hide it somewhere

-Start the timer, GO! Let’s see how long it takes for him to find it this time! (It’s lodged into the ceiling) ((he will take an hour to find it))

Kuai Liang

-If you are under him in the Shirai Ryu or Lin Kuei, i imagine he would be tough on you like a mentor 

-But if not? He would find you incredibly endearing, always making sure that the places you frequently met in the compound had nearby shade or comfortable seating 

-Encourages you to rest if you are tired, if you want to stop falling asleep, he’ll offer tea

Tomas Vrbada

-Gets scared by you while walking past you since you’re so quiet

-You scared the ninja! Good on you 

-Yells, jolts you awake, then apologizes profusely and then promptly asks if you are interested in becoming a ninja under his tutelage 

Bi Han 

-As long as you stay out of his line of schedule you’re fine

-I too would be pissed if I worked the whole day only to see a sleepy lil guy 

-Yawns whenever you yawn and then yells at you for making him yawn 

[stardust-sunset]

Since I really love your hurt/comfort hcs, do you have any hcs about how the gang are when they’re sick? You can do it for any of the gang, whoever you have ideas for! ❤️🎞️

Oh boy do I- (Sorry that Dally and Two Bit hardly have any, I don’t have much on their characters for this lol-also I didn’t do Steve purely because i don’t know anything about him because there was like-one line about him in the book lmao)

Ponyboy Curtis

Honestly Darry doesn’t believe Pont sometimes when he says he feels sick because he knows Pony used to fake it sometimes-

So he sends Pony to school only to get a call not even an hour later saying Ponyboy passed out and threw up at school

Pony is WHINY when he’s sick

He doesn’t say much, he just whimpers and whines a lot

Stomachaches are most frequent with him. Especially because of anxiety, he tends to literally worry himself sick

Darry can’t really tell the difference between when Pony is hungry, anxious or sick so he probably made Pony just eat that morning and said he was probably “just anxious” and sent him on his way

Soda kept trying to insist Pony was sick but Darry wouldn’t listen, so Pony just tried to suck it up

Johnny was the one who brought him home, thankfully. He didn’t really know what to do though and Pony kept begging him not to call Darry because the school already did and he doesn’t wanna be a bother

Like I said, he gets stomachaches a lot

So he’s just curled up in a blanket, sniffling while he tries to hold back tears because his stomachaches can get painful as hell

He doesn’t eat when he’s sick. At all. Darry and Soda literally have to try and force him to eat

His favorite is any kind of stew. Especially beef stew. He’s a sucker for it.

When he vomits it tends to be REALLY violent

Like I’m pretty sure he’s fractured a rib from how violent his vomit bouts tend to be

He’s living off ondansetron, Tums and pepsi because he prefers just burping everything up over throwing his back out when it comes to puking

Ges so pitiful too like he just stares at you with these glossy ass eyes and you can’t tell if it’s from sickness or tears and his cheeks are red and his hair is sticking up everywhere

He’s clingy too like Soda cannot escape his grasp

“Pony ai have to go to work” “Nooooo five more minutes :(“

He always has warnings before he throws up. His stomach starts getting loud and he starts very violently burping and someone (usually Darry) has to literally pick Pony up and hold him so he can throw up

They try everything to make it less painful. Soda is squeamish with vomit but he’ll rub Pony’s stomach and Darry will try to hold him kinda tight so he doesn’t convulse too hard and hurt himself

You can always tell when he’s getting better tho evacuate he starts asking for and seeking out food

It was really only one time that Darry refused to let him stay home but it turned out Pony actually had like-a really bad flu and now Darry just takes his word for it (unless he knows Pony has a test or smth in a class he’s not good in but then he starts getting suspicious)

He likes being read to. He’ll ask Soda to read him Great Expectations or Gone With The Wind

“Haven’t you read those like a million times?” “Please..? 🥺” “fine”

(side headcanon but Soda does different voices for different characters and even when he’s sick it makes Pony laugh because he’ll give Pip this rally deep raspy voice or smth)

He’s really just weak for a bit and then he’s like “Darry I’m hungry” and they’re just like “okay yeah he’s getting better”

Sodapop Curtis

Oh. My. God. He’s so fucking dramatic

”Darry, I think I’m dying” “You have a head cold”

You think Ponyboy is whiny you should hear Sodapop

He has a very vocal tummy and being sick isn’t an exception to this

When him and Pony are trying to sleep he’s just curled around his stomach trying to make it be quiet because he knows Pony has school and he doesn’t wanna keep him up

Its genuinely kind of sad because he really just wants to be taken care of but he knows Pong will be at school and he doesn’t wanna ask Darry to take care of him

So he goes into work until Steve catches him vomiting in the bathroom and takes him home

Soda insists on not calling Darry but once he’s asleep Steve calls him

He feels like a burden honestly but he keeps that to himself

He sleeps. A lot. And if you try to wake him up he actually starts crying

He absolutely detests throwing up and will do just about anything to avoid doing it

Hell unironically whine to Darry about how “my tummy hurts :(“

Darry is so over it lmao (he loves Soda but he’ll literally just take Pony to the side and be like “thank you for being somewhat easy when you’re sick” and pony is just like 😒

Soda has an iron grip and when he’s sick and you get stuck in his arms you are NOT escaping

He’s surprisingly hungry when he’s sick like he can eat full meals. They’re small. And probably soup and crackers but he can do it

Hes very shaky and uncoordinated tho so usually he has to have Pony, Darry or Steve help him. Pony and Darry are sweeties about it but Steve will be like “what you want me to do the “here comes the airplane” bullshit?”

He does it in the end and Soda feeds into it. When there together they’re absolute fucking boys and its insane

It’s very rare for him to actually throw up. He has to be REALLY sick in order for that to happen

But when he does throw up? It’s a lot.

his brothers learned this the hard way

Now if they see him twitch in the slightest they’re picking him up bridal style and hoisting him over their shoulders and plopping him in front of the toilet and holding his hair back

He gets very fussy if he gets vomit on himself like he’s immediately like “no i need to shower now”

He absolutely has a kitten sneeze

He gets really depressed when he’s sick because he can’t go outside or do much so he’s just sulking the whole time lmao

He snores when he’s sick because his nose gets stuffy (it’s really weak snoring but enough to keep you awake)

He’s very dramatic tho

It’s kinda like when you accidentally step on a dog’s tail and start doting on them so they milk it a bit (could just be me, I have a very dramatic dog) like the minute you start babying him he goes from “this sucks” to “I’m dying@

“Darry, Pony, I think I’m dying” “Soda, you’re fine. You have a stomach bug” “Can you put red carnations on my grave” “For fucks sake”

They still baby him but he can get annoying lmao

Steve usually takes care of him too when Pony is at school and Darry is at work

You can always tell when he’s better because you can kinda bribe him out of milking it

“I feel like I’m dying” “Yeah, okay. Pony and I are going to McDonalds.” “…can I come”

Hes a doofus. I love him.

Darry Curtis

You cannot get this man to take a break

Don’t even try. He could have puke on his shirt, be drenched in sweat, have a garbage can full of tissues next to his bed and he’ll still be like “yeah i’m fine”

(he’s not fine)

He’ll literally either A.) have to pass out at work, B.) be barricaded inside by his brothers or C.) work himself to the bone to the pony he can’t even get out of bed without stumbling from being so weak

Its usually A or C but sometimes Pony and/or Sofa will intervene and be like “Darry you literally have a 102.7 fever, you threw up, you sweated the Atlantic ocean onto your bed, you’re not roofing houses like this”

And he’s too weak/annoyed to argue

He tries to do everything for himself like if he has to throw up he drags himself up. If he knows he needs to try and eat he’ll be trying to make himself something. It honestly gets to the point where Pony and Soda are snuggling him through the sickness and if there’s even a sign that he’s hungry, or a sign he needs to throw up, one will haul him out and the other will make sure he doesn’t try to do anything by himself

The two of them honestly try to baby him but he’s like “I don’t need to be babied”

He won’t admit it even on his death bed but he loves when his brothers take care of him. It’s a nice change of pace for him and it makes him happy to know his brothers love him so much

He used to feel awkward because Pony and Soda were his younger brothers and he was supposed to care for them but he accepts being taken care of now

Usually his sicknesses come form over exhaustion and not sleeping a lot. So don’t expect him to wake up like…at all when he’s sick

If you even try to wake him up you will be dealing with a VERY angry Ponyboy and Sodapop

Darry doesn’t get stomach bugs too often. Mostly when he’s sick he’s just dealing with a monster of a headache and feeling like he’s gonna pass out at any minute

He has a hard time accepting he’s sick because he thinks it makes him look weak but y’know. His brothers don’t take that from him

He tends to get very frustrated with himself for not being able to stand up properly or the fact that he stumbles to even go and take a shower

He hardly complains unless he’s actually in pain. Because he gets REALLY sore when he’s sick too. His muscles tend to just temporarily die and he’s left shaky and feeling weak

Sods always gives him massages though to try and ease it up. And Darry loves it. Soda has literally put him to sleep on more than one occasion

Pony and Soda both have to carry him to his bed after which is near mission fucking impossible because they’re both lanky as fuck and he’s bigger

It’s hard to tell when he’s genuinely getting better because he will pull some creative shit to try and get back to work. Point and Soda never fall for it though and always drag him back to rest

He deserves a break, man. Give him one :(

Johnny Cade

He’s honestly so quiet about being sick. Like his normal face is already pale and nervous looking so he doesn’t look too far off when he’s sick

He does g admit to anyone when he’s sick because he doesn’t wanna feel like a burden So he just houses himself up at the lot and prays no Socs jump him

Pony usually finds him passed out in the broad sunlight (side headcanon that Johnny needs it to be dark or near dark to fall asleep) and Pony carrie’s him to his place

When he woke up he was honestly just really surprised and mildly upset with Pony for bringing him back to his place

“I told you, I don’t wanna be here-just let me go back to the lot-“ “N O”

He eventually gives in after a while of this because 1. he’s too tired and 2. He genuinely kind of wants to be doted on. But he would rather put a loaded gun in his mouth than admit that

Either Pony bings him to his place or Dally ends up keeping him at Buck’s place before realizing the partying and smell of alcohol probably doesn’t help Johnny so to the Curtis house it is

Dally would absolutely baby him. But if ANYONE brings up the fact that he’s a smidge softer than normal he will break their jaw

He’s not completely soft but he’ll bring Johnny some medicine and his favorite snacks and drinks and will just sit by his bed and make sure he’s okay

I like the little brother dynamic a lot-I have a lot of headcanons about Dally’s past if you’re interested lol-but anyway

When Dally’s in the cooler, the Curtis boys take care of him

He hates being babied but at the same time he’s not used to positive attention. So he kind of just accepts it

He, like Pony, usually worries himself sick, either worrying about what will happen when he goes home nor worrying about the Socs

So he often gets really bad stomachaches too, but not to worry-Soda has magic hands, I swear-Johnny gets REALLY jumpy when Soda first tries to give him a tummy rub but eventually just loosened up and allowed it because it felt nice and kept him from wanting to throw up

He did throw up on Darry’s bed once though and thought Darry was gonna kill him but Darry honestly just shrugged it off and told him that worse has happened in that bed. So Johnny completely relaxes after that

He tends to throw up easily, he has a weak stomach already and when he’s stressed and sick he can’t even hold water down

He tends to get really high fevers too which can be scary for some time

I kinda headcanon that he’s bilingual because one of his parents is Hispanic, so sometimes he’ll just utter stuff in Spanish and nobody really knows what he’s saying

He refuses to take his shirt off though because 1. he hates his body and 2. he’s insecure of his vitiligo (side headcanon that he has vitiligo)

So he’s just left sweating and curled up on the bed

Hes usually on extra high alert when he’s sick though because he knows he’s delirious and he knows he’s slower than normal so he’s constantly in fight or flight and Pony will sit with him for however long it takes for him to calm down

He’ll read to Johnny too to try and get him to just sleep for even a little bit

He did nearly get jumped once when he was sick but he ended up actually kinda fighting back and that’s when Dally had to come in and help him out because he was just standing with his switchblade with unfocused wyes while shaking like a chihuahua

He’s a decent patient. He’s jumpy. He’s kinda always on edge. But he lets himself be taken care of in the end.

Dallas Winston

He swears he never gets sick but he does

When he’s sick he gets even more angry if that’s possible

He just hangs out at Bucks because he would rather dig his own grave than be doted on by the gang

So he kinda prefers to take care of himself. But Johnny always knows when he’s sick. It’s like a spidey sense of his, knowing whenDallas is sick

So it’s either Johnny getting to help Dally get better or Dally is living in Buck’s bedroom with nothing but alcohol and smokes.

Sometimes Johnny will come over to try and give Dally medicine or something. Dally did NOT wanna take it but Johnny took no shit

“C’mon, Dal. You need to take it to get better.” “No I don’t, just leave me be” “You’re taking it whether you like it or not”

Theyre such a dynamic duo I swear

Dally refuses to take any flavored medicine either because he wants to look tuff. But he CANNOT swallow pills dry

He can chug down beers and eat chicken legs like a beast but when it comes to pills? Nuh uh. He can’t do it. He tries and ends up almost throwing up on himself.

Hes honestly not even awake whenever he’s sick. He’s always sleeping or just sitting and staring at the ceiling

He doesn’t get sick TOO often but when he does he refuses to leave Buck’s place.

He literally just shows up at Buck’s place whenever he’s sick like “I feel like shit and I’m crashing here thanks

Buck doesn’t give a shit, he’s drunk or high half the time so he’s just like “oh ok”

Sometimes Johnny will bring Pony along because pony wants to come too

Dally kinda gets pissed at first because he’s like “I don’t want you two babying me or harassing me to take my medicine, I’ll do it when I want to.

So honestly that’s just kinda how he is lmao. He’s not abreast patient. At all. And in the end he will curse you out for trying to make him take medicine (alcohol is the best medicine to him) and he will shoot down any requests for care. But if you’re Johnny you might…MIGHT be able to get through to him

Two Bit Mathews

Let’s be real he was a dirt eater as a kid

He has the immune system of a tank. But when he does get sick he might as well be drunk with how delirious he acts

He just crashes on the Curtis’ couch and whoever is up first (Darry or Pony usually) will just stare at him for a minute, roll their eyes and heave him up so they can clean him up because he puked on himself and the floor and the couch and the wall and somehow the ceiling

Nobody knows how he does it. He kinda just…does.

Usually his sicknesses come from the massive fucking hangovers be endured after going to parties so you’re dealing with a very delirious, snarky, stubborn Two Bit who will eat all the chocolate cake in the house no matter how sick he is

He jsut crashes on the Curtis’ couch for a few days because he’s honestly just so exhausted and doesn’t give a shit. They know he’s better when he’s left their house

He only likes the flavored kids shit. Darry refuses to buy it so Two Bit will sneak out and steal it because he’s just like that

Whenever he gets a hangover he’ll just drink a giant think of Pepsi or something because he knows he’s dehydrated and whatnot and that’s the only thing that helps

That or milk. Whatever is in the Curtis’ fridge

He literally just sits in front of the TV all day and it ticks Darry off so fucking much

“You were just complaining bait how much your head was hurting and now you’re over here watching TV. What world does that make sense in?” “My world. Now move, I wanna see what happens next.”

He’s so annoying sometimes lmao-then he just flat out ends up leaving with the Curtis’ cake being like “yeah I feel better, thanks for letting me crash, bye”

[thekiltongrammarwriter]

You crash into me hard and soft 18+ MDI

Pippa Fitz Amobi x Fem reader

Summary: pip pulled you off, eyes dark as they scanned you. “ Behave yourself sweet girl" she chided, then quietly, "aren't you my good girl?" Then a calm saccharine voice that filled your head with cotton, you knew that voice. It was the same familiar cadence that would whisper into your ear in bed. The same voice that would often cause you to lose your mind. In the most wonderful ways. Good girls have patience, and I know your so good at having patience aren't you my love?" Pip began, her lips delving into that soft smirk that made your skin prinkle. You nodded, all lust filled eyes. Your heart racing itching to feel pip all around you. Consuming you. Leave you shaking and crying for more. She had done it before. And you wanted her to do it now. God did you want too. Pippa smiled at that, like her mind knew just what you wanted. ‘

Authors note: This is indeed some of the most smuttiest writing I have ever written and while I admit I am no expert on this matter, I don’t write it very often I had fun writing it. I especially enjoyed wirting a grumpy pip who can’t help but be jealous of Connor (undertones) 🤣 I don’t show it at the end but reader makes pip apologize to Connor for rushing out of the party. Again I am no expert on smut and do not claim to write it well. However I do hope you enjoy this piece! I had a bit of trouble writing pip but I can only get better with time. This is for all my lovely anons who asked for pip fic! 🫶🫶 for those of you who do not enjoy this type of work I have some more pip ideas for future ficts.

Warnings: Aged up Pippa Fitz Amobi, set up after AGAD. Protective pip if you squint, possessive pip, dark pip, curse words, swearing, fingering, cunnilingus, soft pippa fitz Amobi, Connor Reynolds’s being the gem he is and putting up with a grumpy pip. Calamity chaos. Reader being a lightweight. Dom pippa fitz Amobi.

Word count: LONG

Pip could feel the way her nails burned under the wood from the way she was gripping the wood hard. Her fingers clenched enough that she thought her knuckles would lose circulation. Her jaw was tense, and blue-grey eyes zeroed in on you as you spoke with Connor from across the dance floor. The flashing lights of the calamity party making pip’s eyes itch.

Pippa’s distain for calamity parties had been apparent, even years before the Andie Bell case you knew you’d never see Pippa Fitz Amobi grace the halls of the random pupil’s house. Which was why now as you peered across the dance floor to where your girlfriend sat you couldn’t help but think it such an odd welcoming sight and apparently Connor thought it too.

You had gone to get some drinks with Connor, you had to practically command pip to sit down, even through her pleading eyes, even through her instructions on how to check for certain hidden items in your drinks. Connor had been the first to grab pip by the hands, his calming soft eyes sending waves of peace through Pip. She was often anxious these days, always on alert. Her nervous system jumping at even the most mundane things. Car alarms, ball point pens and rubbish bins clacking.

Pip had been your personal bodyguard the minute you had gotten out of the Car accompanied by Cara and Connor, your eyes wide upon seeing your girlfriend at the entrance of Edmund Pain’s house. “I figured if my girlfriend was going into the lion's den I might as well accompany you. You know, personal bodyguard and all” Pippa had joked, but you could see from her wild slightly glazed eyes that she hadn’t been sleeping. You had considered calling it an early night taking your girlfriend’s hand and walking back to yours. Considered a nice warm shower, Pippa holding you close under the warming sheen of the shower, the cool heat flowing over both of you. A nice calm night in. Comfy sheets and soft hands trailing down your back as Pip would hold you. You had been so close to changing your mind when Cara had taken your hand and dragged you inside, pip close at your heels.

“It seems you have a shadow” Connor had commented, handing you your drink, eyes peering at the girl who sat across from you. Eyes like a hawk, jaw clenched. You felt a smile fill your lips, the alcohol already filling your tongue, leaving a slightly bubbly feeling and burn on the tip of your lips. You were not going to lie, your girlfriend looked hot. With her blue steel eyes that were on yours, even far enough from the room. Studying you, eying your surroundings like the good dedicated girlfriend she was. It was a comforting feeling to know that no matter where you were, your girlfriend had your back. She always did, and was keen on keeping a close eye on you. You had half a mind to race over and drag her to the nearest bathroom. A flush rose across your cheeks as you imagined pulling a confused Pip into the wasted most likely minging bathroom. Could imagine pushing her against the door and kissing down her neck, feeling her pulse point behind her skin. Could imagine her heavy breathing, hands woven through your curls, pulling just enough to make you whimper against her skin.

“Hey y/n you alright? You look like a proper mess! Sure you don’t want to switch to water now? I know Pip won’t want you too wasted” Connor’s voice brought you out of your lust filled brain. Your eyes turned to him, Connor, and his now bleary face. You were conscious enough to know when to stop, and you knew after a full cup you would surely get a headache. You could just imagine Pip giving you her ‘I told you so’ signature concerned face. It was enough for your lips to move up.

Your movements were sluggish as you tried to speak, and it was only then that your fingers slipped from the brim of the cup and it went smashing over into Connor’s jumper. You gasped, holding a hand to your mouth and apologizing, moving to wipe the remains from the poor boys shirt. Your movements sluggish but your voice strong.

Connor only held up his hands, calm as always. “It’s alright y/n!” He comforted. But maybe it was because of your drunk state that made him laugh, you were cute when you were wasted. Like a little bunny almost, innocent and shy. He could see just why Pip was so protective over you because in a way he was too. You had been a great source of comfort to him during Jamie’s case. Had stood by his side, “a great big pillar of strength” Connor had quoted on the podcast, you had blushed and buried your cheeks into Pip’s neck as she held you. Connor had chuckled at the sight. The same Pip that had told him off multiple times for speaking or simply breathing during audio interviews had been laying loosely on the chair, mic in hand you draped over her lap, fingers playing with her pendant necklace as you had recorded an episode. It was almost uncanny. Connor would tease you relentlessly about it. So it was safe to say Connor and you were as thick as thieves. You trusted him immensely and in turn, he trusted you.

Connor moved to grab your sluggish hands, his fingers calmly wrapped around your wrist, his hands moving to catch your trembling legs. His arms wrapped around you protectively, “I think you’ve had quite enough for today why don’t we go grab a nice cup of water?” Connor spoke, his voice nervous. He had never seen you as drunk as you were.

Your head was spinning. And not in the pleasant way. Your limbs were tired, your throat dry and you could feel the alcohol pushing in your veins. You felt sick. Thought you were going to be sick all over the floor. It was an embarrassing thought and you cursed yourself for not taking the nice day in cuddled with your girlfriend. Instead you had been selfish, dragging her out to some godforsaken party that she wasn’t the faintest bit interested in. But Pip had showed up, even with all her emotional baggage of why she disliked calamity parties. She still had showed up. For you.

If your knees weren’t weak already you were sure they would be now.

“Connor I need to find Pip” you spoke, body still dizzy and lightheaded. Connor understood your words, slurry but cognitive. His arms were a thankful blessing as he held your already dead weight. Maybe it was the alcohol in your system but you spoke, making Connor freeze. “Have I ever told you how strong you are Con? I bet you could lift me up and throw me over your bed couldn’t you?” You giggled, your hazy mind picturing Connor throwing you. It was actually quite funny as Connor used to be a bag of bones. Cara would tease him endlessly in primary school for his weak girl arms.

But Connor had frozen, in fear because somehow during your little adventure, your girlfriend had managed to go unnoticed and had snuck up behind you two. Connor would feel her disapproving stare right behind him. Imaginary daggers being thrown at his head like a target he imagined. It was obvious she had heard what you said. Because her back had straightened. Her jaw clenched, her normally anxious eyes had become wide and Connor couldn’t lie terrified. Pip had become slightly terrifying after her brush with the cases. Let’s be honest at her brush with death and it certainly didn't help that you were draped all over him, giggling and far too close for comfort.

Connor gulped, turning to find Pippa eying him with analyzing eyes, almost as if she was trying to find something. Anything. “Thanks for helping my girlfriend Connor” she spoke, a saccharine smile etched onto her lips. But the smile was too fake to be real, too empty. And maybe the forceful way she had to spit out her girlfriend had been telling enough that she had heard. Also the emphasis on My before girlfriend. Almost like she was staking her claim. A protective stance in the way she eyed you.

At her voice you immediately caught your girlfriend’s eye, too drunk to notice the way her eyes were downcast, hurt by the comment you had made. But it was quickly mended by the sly smile that filled your features as you caught her eyes. “Hi” you spoke, cheeks a mess. Pippa couldn’t help but chuckle, finding you too cute. Hell you were adorable.

“Isn’t my girlfriend the most hottest girl ever?” You spoke sluggishly, “I like how she bends me over and fu-“ Connor cupped his hands over your mouth, ears red, face red, “right! I think you can take your girlfriend home now Pip” he chided practically throwing you to to your girlfriend's arms.

Pippa, with her cheeks red from the comment though somewhat prideful as she pulled you into her body, arms wrapping protectively around you. Your smile wide as Pip brushed her nose against yours. “Your wasted” Pip assessed, lips close enough for you to chase, close enough for you to taste. Your eyes were dark as they eyed Pip’s dark blues. You loved moments like these. Small moments where all you could focus on was Pippa. You were drunk at a Calamity party with neon lights and music so loud it burst your eardrum yet all you could hear, and see was your Pippa. And her soft fingers which now were feeling more comfortable than Connor’s. You felt warm, at home within her arms. secure.

“I just need some water.” You spoke, hiccuping.

Pippa’s eyes were soft as the pad of her fingers came up to caress your cheek, sending goosebumps through you. Her eyes so caring and soft. “Let’s get you home love” she cooed. Connor had thankfully volunteered to find some water. Pip had sat you down next to her, arms woven through yours but in your drunk haze state you had simply climbed on top of her and dug your nose into her neck, needing that sweet relief only Pip brought. Smelling her unique scent that often lulled you to sleep.

“You're a cuddly one today ” Pippa observed practically glowing as you sat on her lap, eyes ablaze with a playful glint. You giggled, moving to hesitantly brush your nose against Pip’s feeling the cool cold contact meet your skin. Pippa’s eyes fluttered as she leaned forward, her lips meeting yours in a soft single peck. But you weren’t in the mood for that, so you snaked your hand to cup the back of her neck, playing with some baby hairs, and pulled her lips back to you.

The rush of energy that flowed through you as you kissed pip was never dull, it was overpowering and seemed to pull you deeper down into the depths of its soul. Pippa was cautious even as you began taking control of the kiss, it was all you to be certain. Pip kissed back, at she was doing that right. But there was no fire in her kisses, you could tell she was busy looking around, assessing the strangers around them to truly lose herself in you. You could also feel how rigid her posture felt. You pulled away, eying Pip’s red lips which looked chapped in the neon light of the room.

You whined, your fingers clinging to Pippa’s red jumper, toying with the metal clasps. Pippa noticed your less than cheery attitude, how your lips were turned ownward like a toddler who didn’t get its promised toy after a shop to the market. It was cute, you were rather like a child when you were a drunk. Reverting back to your three year old self. Which was why pip had seemed to grow a rapid respect for your mother.

“What’s with that face now love? Your lips are far to pretty to be in a scowl” Pip spoke, fingers cupping your jaw softly. You leaned into the touch, your weight shifting as you leaned closer, pulling yourself up into pip’s lap “I need kisses” you uttered. “Kisses? I gave you plenty just now? Why don’t you drink some water and we can talk about kisses when we get home and your not giving anyone a free show?” Pippa spoke, laying a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Where is Connor with that water?” Pip muttered, craning her head round to look.

You saw the opportunity and launched. You were far too horny and aroused to care letting your heart make the choices rather than your mind. You launched your assault on her neck, lips dancing over her skin, your eyes closed as you felt her racing pulse beneath your lips. Your lips cautious, testing the waters. It was only when you began Rolling the skin beneath and soothing the ache with your tongue that you could hear Pip suck in a breathe, possibly from the rough way your teeth glided over her skin. Pippa didn’t at all seem surprised, but you could feel skin beneath your lips, could feel the warmth radiating from her. could see she was feeling the warmth just the same. Could see the way she fought to control her seemingly calm demeanor. Her eyes fluttered as she gave in to your assault, but it never lasted long as her hands skimmed to hold you by the waist.

They were strong and seemed to command you to stop, you whine pitifully as pip pulled you off, eyes dark as they scanned you. “Behave yourself sweet girl” she chided, then quietly, “aren’t you my good girl?”. Then a calm saccharine voice that filled your head with cotton, you knew that voice. It was the same familiar cadence that would whisper into your ear in bed. The same voice that would often cause you to lose your mind. In the most wonderful ways. “Good girls have patience, and I know your so good at having patience aren’t you my love?” Pip began, her lips delving into that soft smirk that made your skin prinkle. You nodded, all lust filled eyes. Your heart racing itching to feel pip all around you. Consuming you. Leave you shaking and crying for more. She had done it before. And you wanted her to do it now.

Pippa smiled at that like her mind knew just what you wanted. “I’ll take care of you pretty girl” she crooned, “don’t you worry”. But you did. Your senses were hyper-aware, aware of the girl's shape jaw line and deep blue eyes, aware of her hands at the base of your hips, strong and confident. Aware that if you just moved an inch you could feel the way Pip’s jeans would brush against you in just the right place.

You held back a whine, too far gone to care. Too consumed by the girl in front of you.

“Pip…please take me to the bathroom” you whined. Pulling at her jeans. At her jumper. Pippa only shook her head, “you deserve more than just a bathroom fuck my love. Now I promise the minute we get home and you are properly sober you’ll be begging me to stop having my way with you. Because I promise I won’t stop till you’ve cum so hard your legs will shake. better yet, how exactly do I make you feel? Do I send chills down your spine? Make you get butterflies in your stomach? Make your heart pound inside your chest? Do I make that pretty little spot between your legs drip with anticipation? Just enough to make a wet spot on those tight little leggings of yours?”

You gulped, becoming flustered at her words. Because every answer had been yes. And she knew that, hiding behind her soft words and all-knowing smile. her voice a hot whisper against your ear.

“So what's it gonna be, princess? I need an answer” pip speaks, her smile replaced by a scowl, like she’s waiting for your answer. You nod, vigorously, almost whining when her hot fingers come up to melt over the hot skin of your stomach, pip smiles, feeling your skin underneath her palms. Watching as your eyes close as she skims her finger down your stomach, reaching your pubic bone. You sigh, open your eyes to peer into hers. Your far gone, just managing to keep your breathing calm. Pip toys with you, dipping just low enough to tease the edge of your panties which have gone soaked. If you were sober enough to care you would have felt embarrassed you were sure, but not now. Not with Pip's gentle commanding eyes, not when they were eying you like you were the important girl in the room.

Your hips jump, and you only lean into Pip, digging yourself into her neck as you try to grind. But Pip pulls away, fingers gone and now are well on to pulling you up as she takes the water from the just-appearing Connor. Thanking him before pulling you into her, water in one hand as she guides you out of the party. A new purpose as she walks, you can tell from the way she opens your door and helps you in. Her hands are soft as they put the water in your hands, even teasing you with a small kiss when she buckles you.

“You drink all that. Every bit of it. I want you sober and well hydrated.” She pinches your cheeks, closing your door before sauntering in on the drivers seat. The drive home was quiet, Pip’s hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel was placed not so discreetly across your lap, and you laughed when pip eyed you with puppy dog eyes, “Not going to hold my hand are you? That’s quite alright, I’ll hold your hand plenty when I’m watching you squirm under me”.

The words caused blush to fill your cheeks, images of pip above you, hair a sweaty mess over her shoulders, eyes a sweet blue yet not sweet. Instinctively your hand collided with hers, palms meeting Palms, pip kept her eyes on the road, Little Kilton seeming quiet and still as she held your fingers in her own, her fingers caressing your skin, the indents of your lines on your palm. It enamored you how beautiful she looked.

Pip with her large jumper, crimson red being her favorite of late. Her shoulder length almost russet hair was wild in the wind. A pen lay lodged in her pocket, a bulge-like pen with teeth marks lying across the plastic edges. Pip’s analysis pen she kept everywhere like a professional investigative journalist. Ever since the Andie Bell case pip had made sure that pen was within her reach, she was always on the lookout for things. You didn’t know what exactly, a new case maybe. All you knew was it changed her. Made her hyper-aware, quick to move, and quick to be near you at all times. Like some sort of bodyguard. You couldn’t go on a walk alone, and you couldn’t walk to the market alone, not that you minded, because pip would hold your hand during the walk and talk about her new podcast episodes. Or Pip would carry your groceries to the boot, cheeks turning red when you would point out that she was just as tiny as you, well she had a few inches on you. Enough that you would have to angle your eyes just enough to eye those blue watercolored eyes.

“What’s on your mind?? You look like your undressing me with your eyes. You imagining me in my knickers are you?” Pippa playfully retorted.

You only leaned in a bit more, till your body was flush with the cold console separating you two. Pippa was all sly smiles and playful retorts. But she wouldn’t be. You needed this. Needed her like a breathe of fresh air after a midnight swim. You were sick of waiting, sick of acting like the sweet well tempered girl. You wanted to act reckless, to truly do something so out of character.

You settle for when you and Pip are safe within your own walls. You watch Pip as she makes a beeline for the cups pulling one and filling it before giving it you. Her fingers brushing past yours as she takes off your sweater. “I’ll put these away. Why don’t you get comfortable in your nighties and I’ll meet you in our room? Make sure to drink plenty of water. How is that head of yours? Giving you any trouble?”

You answered telling her your head was just fine now. The water had done its job and the cool car ride had been enough to have the dull feeling of alcohol leave your system. Although from the way you eyed Pip with dark hungry eyes she would have thought you were still pumped with the vile toxins.

You did as told. Getting ready for bed and meeting your girlfriend in your shared bedroom. Pip smiled at you, her eyes glinting as she watched you in the bed. Your hair falling softly above your shoulders, Comforter pulled up to your chin and eyes innocent. An act purely for her sake. You were anything but innocent. “You look so cute” she spoke crawling across the mattress and moving to press her forehead against yours, arms moving around you pulling you flush into her body, heat radiating from you both.

You snuggled close, causing pip to giggle when you nuzzled her nose with your own, being sly and leaning in for a kiss. Pip relented letting you have a few kisses, but it was the way you held her head, your fingers moving to cradle the underside of her neck that had pip smiling against your eager lips.

“Now what can my sweet girl want at this hour of the night?”

You sigh as pip’s clever lips make their way across your cheeks, pressing softly and delicately, her lips mapping across your skin to leave a few hot kisses on your jaw.

“I want you pip” you whine into her skin, you don't care how selfish or pathetic it sounds because it's true.

Pip smiles at that, her grin wide and her teeth glinting in the lamplight. She eyes you with soft eyes, yet you can see the way her chest rises as she takes you in, blue half-mooned eyes taking in the way your chest rises and falls in the oversized jumper you’ve worn.

Pippa gulps, her cheeks red and her hands tightening their hold on your hips. She’s thinking. Pondering what her next move should be. Analyzing like only Pip does. You catch her eyes as they drift down to your jumper again, recognition flashes in her eyes.

“Is that my jumper?” She manages to say, you follow the way her tongue flicks across her lips hungrily and you imagine that same soft delving tongue gliding across your neck and it takes all your might and strength to not drag her down.

You nod.

Pip always loved seeing you in her clothes. The way they smelled like your sweet soft scent after you had worn it, the almost territorial feeling of knowing you were hers. Pip didn't like being possessive, in fact, she often tried to curb that feeling. It had gotten stronger with the events of Jason Bell and the aftermath of what had happened. So she always tried to maintain a healthy relationship, letting you have freedom and making sure to not be overbearing. But now as you lay beneath her, eyes dark and open for her like a gift, Pippa Fitz Amobi can't wait to unwrap you.

Pippa leans down her head against your bare chest, ear to your heart. She closes her eyes and feels you against her skin. Feels your heart against your chest, feels the intake of breaths. It’s almost too serene. It’s something she’s taken to doing whenever the voices in her head are loud, and they were now. Begging Pip to have her way with you, imagining all the filthy ways she'd take you and the screams that would come out of your pretty lips. So rich, so sweet, and all for her. Pip heaved in a breath, feeling your fingers trail the ends of her hair, softly, waiting for her to make the next move. Trusting her.

“I want to eat you out. If you’ll let me” Pip breathes out, accent slightly muffled.

The words take you by surprise, but you don’t object. Your legs are trembling as you nod, pippa smiles and leans in to press a long kiss as a thank you. Your body has been on high alert since the party, and you know it won't take much to make you see stars.

Pip takes her time working you up, kisses you everywhere on your skin. Working her way down from your neck to the incline of your shoulders, down the slope of your neck. Relishes the taste of your colllarbone. Moans when she reaches your chest. Pip immediately slides the zipper down, mouth watering when she realizes you aren’t wearing anything underneath. It almost short circuits her brain, and you reach out to move a few strands from her face, "Whose shy now Amobi?" you tease.

Pip’s fingers slide over to tease the last bit of the jumper and the article goes cascading off your shoulder.

“Oh I could spend all day and night loving these gorgeous breasts. The way they perk up at my touch.”

You want to whine and beg for pip to do something. Anything to quell the burn in your stomach but you don’t have to because soon pip is leaning down and taking a nipple in her mouth. You immediately gasp, feeling your cheeks flush and your core ache as pip’s clever tongue traces your nipple, sucking cleverly and hard. It makes your stomach jolt and pleasure come in high doses.

Pip is attentive as her fingers come up to ghost your other breast, playful as she carefully flicks the pink flesh, watching as you whine under her fingers. After a few minutes of pip's teasing you begin to get restless. "Stop teasing pip, please....please".

You cant help but find the smug look on her face attractive, especially when her mouth is as clever as her mind is.

"You and your lack of patience, always have to get what you want don't you pretty girl? Well, not tonight. I want you to work for it. your a hard worker aren't your my love? Ill make it easy for you. You see, all i want you to do is beg. Simple. Think you can do that for me love?".

Pip's words make your pussy ache in the best way, your stomach jolting and your head nodding fast. You're so far gone you don't even feel the way Pip's fingers slide against your thighs, holding softly and sliding you closer to her, and you can only think how strong your girlfriends are.

your chest is heaving as Pip trails teasing kisses against your thighs, your skin flushing against her touch. It's almost too much when she ghosts over your panties, her lips teasing up into a smile, teasing in purpose, to get a rise out of you.

"Where do you want me pretty girl? hmm? just say it, I just want to hear you say it" Pip speaks, kissing your cheek one last time and eying you with her gray eyes.

It's at that moment that you realize your too far in her clutches. Maybe it's the fact that Pip's hands are rising up to interlock with your fingers, holding tightly. Maybe it's the fact that she looks so earnest, waiting, like a good girl. It almost makes you cum right on the spot, the pleading way she asks.

you give in, begging so much you hope your flatmates can't hear you through the paper walls of your neighboring flat. It would be embarrassing and an utter nightmare after after Cara walked in one night and refused to look into you or Pip's eyes for a solid week.

"Please please please please please-" you sound despeate and you don't get very far with your begging because Pip is sliding down your knickers with soft shaky hands and is immediately sliding her tongue down into your folds. She works expertly, just as Pip always has, shes known you for years, since primary school, and spent years analyzing what made you tick, and what your body responded to. She's an expert at getting you off.

You whine and lock your fingers in her hair, pulling softly, knowing how it drives Pip wild. Pip's tongue is wild and untamed as she sucks you, taking you in like sweets from a candy shop. "Good girl. good darling" Her voice is muffled, but it urges you on, getting any type of praise from her.

She removes her mouth to replace it with her fingers instead, easily pushing in two due to the sheer amount of wetness spilling out. Warm walls push down on her fingers, urging them to sink in further as a breathless moan sounds out from bellow her. Her fingers thrust in and out a few times before curling at just the right angle to brush against your G-spot. “Shit, please, more.”

“Anything you want y/n” Pippa whispers. she places a sweet kiss on your thigh before moving up to kiss the hood of your clit, your thighs squeezing her head harder in return. Pip lets the tip of her tongue dart out to lick under the hood, brushing against your quickly reddening clit. Her fingers continue their movements as she swirls her tongue around it, coaxing it out of its hood and leaving it at the mercy of her mouth. At first, her movements are slow and gentle, not wanting to overstimulate you before it’s time. But when you reach hand down to clutch at the hair on the back of her head and push her down forcefully, she knows there’s no need to wait; her tongue sets forth at a bruising pace. She circles around the swollen clit, and nudges it with the tip of her tongue before licking it harshly until it stands to attention. your hips jerk up in response, and so Pippa maneuvers her free arm around to splay her hand across your stomach, holding you still. Still, this does nothing to stop the pressure coming from the thighs around her head, and she can barely even hear what your is saying. “Finger me harder Pippa please don’t stop.” 

Pip has no choice-less to obey, and so she speeds up the movements of her fingers and presses more harshly against your g-spot, all the while licking at your clit with vigor. Her own clit throbs with need turned on from the musky taste on her tongue and the loud moans she’s pulling out from you. Even though her tongue is burning from the friction, her fingers are tiring from moving so quickly, and her head is under an almost painful amount of pressure, Pippa is in heaven. She’s the one who has you so breathless, so wantonly moaning and arching her back in response to every lick and thrust. It strokes the egoistic side of her to know that she turns you on so much that your fingernails scratch against Pippa’s scalp to push her closer; she knows you aren’t aware of this, lost as you are in your own pleasure. The only regret Pippa has in that moment is not being able to see the look of ecstasy on your face. The scrunching of your eyes, the way you bite your lip.

pippa can tell that you are close by the way your hips try to thrust upwards harder, barely being held back by Pippa's hand. The muscles of your thighs clench as your walls squeeze down on her fingers, a continuous flood of wetness pooling out of her and dripping down the base of Pippa's hand. There is nothing but the delicious taste coating Pip's tongue and the musky odor filling her senses; nothing but the broken screams of her name and the torturous pulling of hair from her scalp. It spurs her on as she abandons licking your clit for directly pulling the swollen red nub into her mouth instead, sucking on it softly and then more harshly when you let out a scream. “Don’t stop, oh bloody hell, don’t stop!”

She halts the movements of her fingers, sucks on your aching clit, and lightly grazes it with her teeth before she hears you scream her name, walls clamping down harshly on her fingers and hips thrusting erratically. As you fall apart in bliss, Pippa can't help but fall deeper in love with you, thinking back to that shy adolescent crush she had harbored for you in primary school. oh if younger Pip could see her now. She continues to lick gently as you cum, bringing you down from your high until the hand that was previously pulling her head closer begins to push her away instead. 

Your breathing is erratic but that doesn't stop pip from leaning down to eye you, her eyes taking in your soft smile. "You did so good for me sweetheart positively wonderful, do you feel alright? I wasn't too rough was I?" Pippa is saying and you giggle, pulling her to your chest. You love how soft and caring she is, how sweet she looks at you. you shake your head, "Pip stop overanalysing. I'm fine, positively wonderful, although I do want one thing" Your fingers dance along the blue-eyed girl's arms, stopping just above her t-shirt. “I want you to beg for me now. Can the infamous Pippa Fitz Amobi take what she dishes out?" Before Pip has a word in you are already on top of her, kissing her with eager lips and nearly ripping off her nighties. “You thought you teased me? Well love let’s see how long you can last” you chime into her ear, your lips ghosting her earlobes, "I'll be gentle".

[sergeantsporks]

Witch Switch: All of Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

That's a wrap on Episode 1! Episode 2 should start coming out around May 1st; see you then!

Transcript underneath the cut

Cover: Portal Door

[Open on Phillip, waiting outside school with Jacob Hopkins]

Jacob: [completely unprompted] So I was watching this video—

Phillip: Oh, god, here we go.

J: —about underground witch rings that still exist throughout the world—

P: They’re called neopagans, and they aren’t underground. Also, witch “rings” aren’t a thing, they’re called “covens.” Which you’d know if you got your information from literally any reliable source.

J: Yeah, well, anyway I was thinking, what if there are some in Gravesfield? I mean, how would we know? I’m pretty sure the museum curator is a witch, so we should investigate the—

[Cut to Phillip, exasperated, holding his arms in an “x”]

P: There’s no “we” here, don’t rope me into this. Leave Masha alone. So what if they’re a neopagan? There’s no such thing as a “real” witch with “real” magic. They’re not hurting anything.

[Cut to Jacob, incensed]

J: You might not believe it, but I know what I saw! Witches and demons walk among us, and—

P: [disembodied] Oh, look, my ride is here, bye, Jacob.

[Car pulls away from the curb, leaving a fuming Jacob]

[Inside the car]

Caleb: Aw, was that one of your friends?

P: No. Just Jacob.

C: Seemed like you guys were having a nice conversation!

P: He was suggesting breaking and entering so that he could collect evidence that the museum curator is a witch and should be burned at the stake, because he’s an idiot who doesn’t even know that witches in America were hung, not burned.

[Cut to just Caleb, worried]

Caleb: Oh. Um. Don’t do that, please.

P: [disembodied] I’d drop dead before going along with him. He just hangs around the guys, he’s not really our friend.

C: Ah.

P: [perplexed] Hey, you missed the turn.

C: Yeah, you’re coming to work with me today. You can do your homework there.

P: Is this because of what happened on the field trip?

C: No, no, nothing to do with that. It’s just…

[Cut to tense, worried Phillip]

C: [disembodied] There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.

[Cut to inside of Robin Roast. Caleb sets a coffee in front of Phillip and sits down]

Caleb: So, Phillip… What do you think of Evelyn?

Phillip: Eh. She’s fine. I guess. If you like her.

C: You’re not just saying that?

P: Did she snitch about me not letting her in right away? I swear I couldn’t hear her. (lying).

C: It’s not about that, Phillip. Although you need to be more aware of your surroundings when I’m not home—especially if you know someone’s coming.

P: Yeah, okay.

C: I know you didn’t use to like Evelyn very much, so I just wanted to know what you thought of her now.

[Cut to Phillip drinking his coffee]

P: Mhm.

C: [disembodied] And… I wanted to know what you would think of inviting her to join our family

P: [spits out his coffee]

[Phillip wipes his mouth, incredulous]

Phillip: WHAT?! You can’t marry Evelyn!

Caleb: [disembodied] Why not? We’ve known her for 4 years now, and I’ve been dating her for 2.

P: Uh—no. She knows us. We don’t actually know anything about her!

[Cut to floating cartoon heads of Caleb and Phillip, Caleb going from confused to varying levels of defensive while Phillip grills him]

Caleb: What are you talking about? Sure we do.

P: We don’t know where she works—

C: She works in a pawn shop… or thrift store or something… I think.

P: —we know nothing about her family—

C: Oh, come on, you know better than anyone that family can be a touchy subject.

P: —She disappears for weeks at a time-!

C: She’s visiting family!

P: The family we’ve never met?

C: They live far away! And… I think they have bad reception out there? (I can never get in contact with her when she’s gone…)

P: You’ve never even seen where she lives! Probably because she keeps the ripped-out-hearts of the other guys who proposed to her under her floorboards!

C: Don’t be gross, Pip. I thought you were fine with her?

[Cut to regular style Phillip]

P: I’m fine with her as she is now, because you like her. I don’t want her to live with us. Ever. Besides, we don’t have the space for it

[Cut to Caleb, amused/apologetic/cunning]

C: Well… if we did get married, we’d probably move into a two bedroom. You’d get your own room! That would be pretty great, right?

P: [disembodied] Oh, so this is all for my benefit now? Not because it’s something you want?

C: No, it’s definitely something I want, I just figured… you might like to know some positives for you, to see how it’s good for both of us. Oh, hey, you wouldn’t be alone at home so often.

P: I don’t want company if it’s her. And I don’t need a babysitter—geeze, this is about the field trip, isn’t it?!

C: It’s not! Hey, look, I already talked to Manny about it, and he doesn’t think it’s a bad idea, in case an outside opinion helps. I know it’s a weird new thing to think about. But I’m not going to jump in right away, I promise. Let’s give the idea a couple of days to simmer, give you some time to get used to it, and—

[Cut to Phillip, who’s stood up abruptly]

P: It doesn’t need to simmer! I’m not okay with this! I will never be okay with you marrying her, even if everyone in the world thought you should!

[Cut to Caleb, who looks hurt and annoyed]

C: Oh, yeah? Even if your “friends” dared you to be okay with it? [his face immediately drops]

[Cut to upset Phillip whirling around]

[Cut to Phillip running out the door of the café while Caleb stands in the door, reaching towards him]

C: Phillip, wait!

[Phillip is gone from frame, and Caleb pinches his nose]

C: …Shit.

[Phillip runs through Gravesfield, upset]

Phillip: He can’t marry her, he can’t, he can’t, he can’t!

[He finally stops near the old, abandoned house, hiding behind a tree and clutching his head]

P: Ohhhhhh what was I thinking, storming out like that? Having a screaming match in public like a toddler? What if the guys find out? Stupid, stupid, stup—

[Phillip hears a rustling sound]

P: What…?

[he peers around the tree to see Evelyn with a big bag, looking around, very suspicious. Phillip gets a lightbulb moment]

P: Oh, I knew she was shady! I knew it!

[Buzz from his pocket]

Text from Caleb reads: Pip, please come home. We can talk about it later, just please stay safe until I can get to you.

[Phillip sneaks up to the house, peering inside holding his phone]

P: I just have to get proof she’s breaking the law, and then Caleb won’t even think about letting her in the house, let alone marrying her! Evidence, then home, then…

[Cut to the portal door]

P: [disembodied] What the…

[Manny and Camila are taking a walk through the neighborhood. Suddenly, Manny pricks up, taking a turn down to the old house, leaving Camilla behind]

Manny: Hey, Phillip what are you doing out—

[Cut to the inside of the house. Phillip glances behind him at Manny’s call, then pushes forward through the portal, which closes behind him just as Manny reaches the house]

M: …here…

[Camilla catches up]

Camilla: What’s going on?

M: [confused] I thought I saw…

[Cut to empty room]

M: [disembodied] …ah, never mind. I’m sure it’s nothing.

[Cut to Phillip, absolutely flabbergasted. Wide shot of the Isles, Phillip very small in it]

P: Where the HELL am I?

[End Part 3]

[End of Episode 1]

[lisaslosingstreak]

You Can’t Escape Love

A Messy PipWen AU

You can blame this all on @caitlynskitten ok?

Chapter One

With a weary sigh Wednesday eased herself out of bed and allowed her feet to slowly touch the cool wooden floor of her bedroom. The boards let out an ominous creak which made her feel at home a little, but the house itself was a poor substitute for her parent’s mansion In terms of spookiness.

In an effort to escape the devastating end to her relationship with her far-too-short-term girlfriend Enid Sinclair, Wednesday had decided to move across the Atlantic to put as much distance as possible between them. It hasn’t been easy, she probably would never fully get over Enid, but she at least had a new life to keep her occupied.

She had chosen a little sleepy village in England to make her home, her father helping her purchase the old Manor House on the outskirts of the village for her to reside in. It was cold, drafty and gloomy, just as she preferred, but at night the lack of warmth from Enid turned her mood sour every time. Damn that girl for making her yearn for more than her own solitude.

The locals were achingly boring and middle class, but that suited her fine. They didn’t pry into her life and she returned the favour, happy to be the weird young woman rattling around the old manor. She had seen on the local chat groups (thanks to Enid she knew how to access them, at least something a little positive from that relationship) that the villagers were happy that someone new had moved into the old house, and didn’t seem to care about who she was or where she came from.

Wedneday has secured a part time job in the local records office. She didn’t need the money but the free use of civil service records would be very useful for her writing, which was now more thoughtful and introspective than her Viper trilogy. This was adult fiction on a whole new level, and she hoped it would sell well despite being a departure from the style her fans had become used to.

After showering and dressing she went to the kitchen to find the fridge bereft of anything nutritious to eat, which wouldn’t normally bother her, but finding the coffee supplies empty was too much. She would have to go shopping.

It was a warm day as she strolled to the local shop from the manor, the fresh English air scented with freshly mown grass and wildflowers. England was different in so many ways to her home country, but Wednesday would never have guessed that it’s smell would be the one characteristic that she would enjoy so much. It was so relaxing, especially in the morning sun, and it lifted her mood a considerable amount, no mean feat considering she hadn’t consumed her usual quad over ice that morning.

As she stood waiting to cross the road opposite the convenience store she watched the locals walking done the sidewalk - sorry pavement. They all seemed lost in their own worlds and didn’t notice her, the short dark-haired girl dressed in black, her face relaxed into its usual slight scowl.

As the cars drove off Wednesday was about to step off the curb when she was abruptly knocked to one side into the gutter.

“Oooh sorry my dog is pulling so hard I didn’t mean that, are you ok?” a sweet voice blurted out before Wednesday even had a chance to turn round to see her new sure-to-be sworn enemy.

Any insult she had faded away as she looked up into an oddly familiar - yet clearly unknown - pair of intensely blue eyes bracketed by a concerned frown.

“I-I-I am f-fine, th-thankyou” stuttered Wednesday as she stepped back onto the pavement.

“Oh that’s good. Sorry again.” the girl replied, a big grin spreading across her face, her eyes twinkling with delight. She bounced on her toes and thrust a hand towards Wednesday.

“I’m Pip by the way.” she offered.

Wednesday stood perplexed, a weird feeling of deja vu creeping across her thoughts. Pip had a little of Enid’s sunny disposition, and the captivating eyes were familiar, but everything else was different. No layers of makeup, her hair was a deep chestnut wavy shoulder length style instead of bleached and dyed. Pip wore some brown shorts and scruffy sneakers, with a crop top and blue sleeveless jumper on her top half. No bright pink skirts or jackets or crazy jewellery either, just a watch on her left wrist.

She was different.

She was gorgeous.

Wednesday took Pip’s hand and shook it gently, determined to make a good impression.

“Wednesday, Wednesday Addams.”

Chapter 2

[tartsinarat]

Woo okay, because I like designing ocs as it’s fun and doesn’t take too much energy so here’s my basilisk oc… number 3!!

…Aka the poor guy who got her organs harvested by Belos in order to use in the making of Pip.

Even though they’re straight up dead and have been dead for years I still love his design and vibe.

She’s a similar type of basilisk to Vee, this is important as that specific type of basilisk has extremely strong magic draining rate.

Vee and 3 did know each other, but Vee was really young. They met each other during experiments that they had to do together in order have their magic draining rate tested and compared at the same time to see which one had the fastest speed, uh 3 won most of the times they did this which is unfortunately why he ended up basically being a sacrificial lamb

To make this even more horrific fun

Some traits of 3 still ended up in Pip or well mostly his curse, obviously physically like the ears, tail floof shape and splotchy patterns as well as his red irises rather than the typical grimwalker magenta but also bits and pieces of personality/mannerism

Though Pip can’t copy other people but his curse is able to mimic voices/ sounds it hears perfectly which it uses to hunt/ trick people because of the basilisk parts being mixed in

it’s as smart as a parrot but in the way where it can repeat stuff for specific people and kinda knows what context to use it for though you’re not able to have a full conversation with it as it won’t understand anything

This really freaks Vee out when she first saw Pip in his full cursed form and it started copying 3s voice screaming in pain. (Its not got the memories of 3 or anything, its a split off part of Belos’s curse who would have heard 3s screams from when Belos vivisected her for fresh parts)

Pip later had to awkwardly explain to Vee that he has no control of it and is its own thing separate from him.

Vee is convinced it’s messing with her mentally especially as it does similar stuff to Hunter by using Belos’s voice randomly at 5 am to scare him awake.

It is very much messing with her and Hunter for its idea of funnies but this backfires hard on it as every time it takes over Pip it gets locked into the backyard like a dog (this actually makes it stop doing the creepy voice stuff after a couple times because it hates being outside in the cold.)

On a lighter note I can’t un-see how 3 looks kinda like the Salmonids from splatoon, that was completely un-intentional and I only realised like a while ago that he reminds me of them lmao

[porcelainmortal]

Relinquish, and let's go with... Phillip? Yeah. Phillip!

Thanks for the ask, Ash! This was a fun challenge. I hope you enjoy!

Philip ficlet below the cut.

“The thing I don’t understand is how he can be so bloody selfish,” Philip rants, pacing his sitting room.

“Darling, I’m going to need you to sit down, you’re making me dizzy,” Martha chastises as she leans back on the settee, rubbing her eight-and-a-half-months-swollen belly. “And further, it’s not selfish. He’s doing something that, frankly, he probably should have done a long time ago.”

“What?” Philip halts in his tracks, his head whipping in Martha’s direction at her words. “You can’t be serious.”

“Come on, Pip,” Martha says calmly. “You know as well as I do that Henry has never really been happy as a royal. And now we’ve got our second baby on the way, he’s being pushed even further down the line of succession. It hardly matters at this point whether he keeps his place in line, and you know it.”

Philip huffs, his stomach twisting even though he knows she’s right. And even when it bugs him how she always remains calm and docile, he knows it’s her level-headedness that grounds him. That brings him back to earth when his instinct is to fly off the handle. 

“Still. He has a responsibility to this country. To the crown. To relinquish his title, it’s…” Philip throws his hands in the air helplessly. 

“Come sit, love.” Martha scoots over and pats the seat beside her. Philip goes to her easily, as he always does. She reaches up and runs a hand across his back in a circular motion that always seems to soothe him when he gets worked up. He feels himself relaxing. “Henry is giving up his title, you must accept it. In truth, I’m amazed that he didn’t do it years ago, especially after he was outed. The press was ruthless.”

“Yes, well, he just wanted the Crown’s protection,” Philip spits bitterly.

“He needed it, to be sure,” Martha says in that same placid tone, her hand never ceasing on his back. “But he deserves to live his own life now. He’s been in America several years already and he’s going to marry Alex.”

“He said that to you?” Philip asks, turning to look at her. A soft smile crosses Martha’s face, her eyes fond like she thinks he’s being silly.

“Come now, love. You know that’s where they’re headed. And they certainly wouldn’t want a royal wedding, which can only be avoided by abdicating.” Philips sighs, remembering the stress of their wedding. Although it had been beautiful (save a minor incident with the cake), planning had been overwhelming and even tested their relationship at times. Martha leans her head on his shoulder, her hand coming to a rest around his waist. “I know it’s difficult for you to relinquish control but you have to accept that Henry is a grown man and he can make his own decisions.”

Philip tilts his head, resting his cheek on the crown of her head. 

“I just hate the idea that he’ll have no reason to come back here. I want our children to know their uncle.” He reaches up a hand and rubs it across the baby bump.

“They will.” Martha turns her face, looking up at Philip. “Henry loves you, he loves our son, and he will love our daughter, too.”

Philip looks down at her soft smile, unable to stop the one tugging at his own lips in response.

“You think?”

“I know.”

“I suppose you’re right,” he says, leaning down to place a soft kiss on her lips. 

“I always am, darling.”

God help Philip, but she is. He only prays that it holds true this time, too.

Ficlet Friday

[starsurface]

hello again! i have nightwolf on the brain again, so could i ask for him with a toddler regressor who asks to play with his spirit animals? (no im not asking this just for Kiba... or maybe.. she's my favorite out of all of his animals but still >.<) 🔮

Hi!!! I like Nightwolf's animals (I love animals in general)!!! I got the bear's and eagle's names from a quick online search. And I only know that Kiba's a girl, I don't know about the other two but I made them girls too. (Tell me if I'm incorrect!!)

Although, I did kinda throw the whole 'spirit' concept away, ish? Like, they can eat animal snacks, but Nightwolf still has to summon them, you know?

Also I'm so sorry but I realized these are so much more focused on the animals than Nightwolf himself!!! :(

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

CG Nightwolf w/ Toddler Regressor That Plays With His Spirit Animals Hcs

🐺 Nightwolf’s spirit animals are important to him, Komo (bear), Hana (eagle), and Kiba (wolf)

🐺 But you are also very important to him

🐺 He actually really likes you spending time with his animals!! Both when your big and when your little

🐺 But does have to summon his spirit animals so you have to ask to play with them :(

🐺 Although he’s rarely ever said no!! Maybe once or twice, but he probably had good reasons, like it was bath time, or he didn’t want Kiba splashing in mud . . . again

🐺 However, his animals adore you!!

🐺 They get playtime, and head scratchies, and they can go onto the bed-

🐺 You might get a small scolding for letting Komo onto the bed though, she’s too big for it!!

🐺 Komo and Hana like playing with you, but Kiba’s the main one that tries to steal your attention

🐺 Hana has to be specific where she lands and how gently she eats from your hand, especially when your tiny

🐺 And Komo’s very big!! Great fo snuggles, although she does have to watch her claws :(

🐺 Kiba though? Perfect size!! :D

🐺 She can play ball, do tricks, sit on your lap, be used as a pillow

🐺 Nightwolf finds it funny when you try to bribe any of them for cuddle time, leaving a small trail of their favorite snacks to the couch so you can steal them for yourself

🐺 He might tell you that you can’t overfeed them though, they’re still his kombat animals :\

🐺 That doesn’t stop you though, and the animals get pretty huffy when Nightwolf tries to call you out

🐺 A very fun activity was jumping outside in the rain with Kiba

🐺 You got your little rainboots on, and a coat, and jumped into some muddy puddles!! :D

🐺 . . . Although even spirit animals can get dirty, and now Nightwolf has to clean you both off 😮‍💨

🐺 Komo really likes snuggle time

🐺 She’s very big and furry, a great cuddle partner

🐺 Plus she gets to sit on the couch and watch funny cartoons >:3

🐺 Sometimes she’ll lay on top of you, and do an animal like laugh when you whine that she’s too heavy >:(

🐺 ^ Don’t worry, Nightwolf saves you . . . Until it happens again

🐺 Hana will pip (eagle chirp?) with you, sitting on your lap most times because she doesn’t want her claws to grip you wrong 

🐺 Nightwolf will usually have her on his arm so you can pet her, it’s safer that way

🐺 More about Kiba because we love Kiba in this house (and she was specifically requested <3)-

🐺 She’ll bring you things!! Sticks she wants youtube throw, your stuffie when you look upset, a pair of shoes when you're looking outside

🐺 Now, the shoes are rarely ever matching, but the thought is what counts <3

🐺 She takes you on walks, you don’t take her on walks (Nightwolf takes you both on walks, but whatever)

🐺 She’ll whine when you tug on her fur by accident, but Nightwolf will teach you that you can’t pull her fur, soft pats, love

🐺 She doesn’t mind being used as a pillow or a stuffie while your watching your show, she’ll probably take a nap or stare at the colorful screen

🐺 She’ll sit at your tea party too, put a tiara on her and pour her tea, she can’t drink it, but if you keep feeding her little snacks she’ll stay

🐺 Nightwolf totally doesn’t get jealous by how much you wanna cuddle her instead of him, why would he?

🐺 . . . . But he is your Dada, not Kiba, you should remember that every once in a while and come cuddle him instead 🙄 <3

🐺 No but seriously, he does love seeing you hang out and interact with his little friends

🐺 He will join your cuddle sessions though, you can’t get rid of him that easily, darling

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Did you know in Mortal Kombat Defenders of the Realm, Kiba is an actual wolf? And her and Nightwolf combine to give him his Shamon powers? :D (Her relationship with Styker is ridiculous and I love it)

[aukly]

i normally only post about wenclair on here but i neeeddddd to talk about agggtm!!!!! i’ve read the first book twice once when it was first announced to get a show and another just this week i love love love the book so much there are only small things i could nitpick about the book but overall i give it 5 stars and recommend it to anyone that likes murder mysteries!!!

HOWEVER I DO NOT RECOMMEND THE SHOW 😭😭😭 i just finished the 3rd episode of agggtm the show and i really really wanted to like it i love the book so much and i’m such a big fan of emma meyers but i cannot in good conscience say that i like it or that it’s a good adaptation :(((( it was wayyyy too short and they just changed so much of the story and the evidence and really all of it they changed everything so much it’s just really disappointing i wish the show was longer or that they would at the very least stick to the damn original story

i don’t think i’ll even finish the show like i only have 3 episodes to go but i’m so disappointed and the show is so frustrating to watch i just can’t 💔

i am in no way upset with the actors or even the casting i loved all of the characters so much and think they look exactly how i imagined (especially the singhs!!!) i also liked how they made pip more involved with her friends but maybe that’s bc i’m a sucker for cute friendships in shows but either way i think it was really nice to have more of pip interacting with all of her friends!! i think all of the actors did an amazing job with what they had!

this post is kinda all over the place and probably doesn’t make that much sense if you haven’t read the book and watched at least some of the show but i’m just so tired of people deciding a book needs movie or show adaptation but then not having the budget/time to do it justice like i really don’t care if it isn’t a perfect scene for scene adaptation but changing pretty much the full story and leaving out some of the most important evidence/characters/relationships/scenes/etc is NOT the way to go about it :/

[cry-ptidd]

NEW QUESTION for the question gods! How does Laura, Walter, Alucard, Seras, Pip, and Integra treat their love interests/SO's?

Integra

Integra is a very proud and headstrong woman, it is only natural that she wants someone who can withstand her strength.

She has a motherly side, and would treat her SO with grace and care. She would make sure they’re protected.

She knows the dangers of the world, and is intent on keep her SO safe and sound, sometimes restricting their movements if she senses the situation is too dangerous. She would keep them in her study, talking all night and reading together, complimenting them just enough to keep them on their toes. She knows her charisma and isn’t afraid to use it.

She would also not hesitate to make them work. She is the Hellsing family’s heir, and is not going to settle on someone wimpy. They’d have to prove themselves to her, in more than one way.

Alucard

Likewise, Alucard won’t settle for less than someone interesting and entertaining.

I imagine he would be very romantic in a strange way, always singing praises and teasing his SO in any way possible. He’s also very kinky, so that doesn’t help his creepy allegations.

Despite that, he would hesitate to bring his SO on missions alongside him. Only if they know how to protect themselves. He would gladly take holy bayonets to the ribs for his partner if it comes to it.

He would be unsettling at times, testing their limits (without crossing boundaries of course, vampires can’t come in unless invited) and seeing how they react to his different forms and powers. Maybe he’d let them hold his guns to see if they can lift them, or let them put on his coat just to see his partner wobble around in a coat that’s five sizes too big for them.

Seras

Seras is as sweet as they come. She knows what hardship is like, and loves to take care of her SO.

She is a cuddle monster. Don’t let her catch you off guard, because her vampire strength is no joke. She has yet to control it.

She would also object wholeheartedly to her partner going on missions with her, not wanting a single scratch on them. If she has to, she WILL tape them to a chair to prevent them from going anywhere while she’s at work.

She would get very defensive if anyone ever tries to mess with her SO, and knowing her, that can range from getting told "Go away, you mean freak !" to actually getting shot to smithereens.

Walter

Walter is very attentive and doesn’t mess around. One wrong move and someone is getting dismembered. So their SO can know they’re safe with him.

He would cater to their every need, and see as they are the most comfortable possible.

Emotionally, he would be devoted and suave. As a butler, it is only natural that he makes sure his SO is living their best life. He might be a bit smothering at times. However, when it comes to HIS emotions, he can be flustered and might slip up if his SO makes a move first.

That said, he would not hold them back on missions, letting them grow stronger and intervening if he has to.

Pip

Pip is a womanizer. And a romantic one at that. But, with a SO he settled with, they don’t have to worry about cheating. He might get smacked on the head for flirting innocently with someone else, but that’s about it.

Dates with him are simple, but they’re the most fun someone could have. Maybe he’d even bring them with the Wild Geese to teach them how to use weaponry.

He would give them the most sweet and teasing french nicknames, ranging from Mon Cher, to Mon Cœur, to Mon Amour to ones you have to see in a dictionary. All said with a cigarette in his mouth and a wink.

He would show off his SO to everyone, say loud and proud that they’re his, especially to the Wild Geese. He just has to let everyone know that they’re together and he loves them.

Laura

Laura is a bit of a mixed bag. For an old creature, she hasn’t lived among humans that much. However, when she does find someone that loves her, she clings to them like a leech.

As a maid, she would make sure everything is perfect for them and that their every need is met. Do not complain around her, because she WILL kill someone if they looked at you wrong or break a door that caught your sleeve. In means of security, her SO probably has one of the best bodyguards one could wish for. They might even see her in full wolf form if the situation calls for it.

She has a hard time being emotional, so she lets them make moves. Other than her serving them with her deeds or her body, she has no idea how she could be desirable. So her SO would need to know how to treat her with kindness, even if she can be a bit too honest from time to time. (She apologizes immediately if she says something wrong.)

They would see her at her most vulnerable maybe. She takes care of them as much as they take care of her. It’s a symbiotic relationship.

[ava-core]

so finals is whooping my ass and i can’t play new vegas because it’s either play or rest my poor posture in bed and i can’t really take the back pain any more than i have to when i’m productive </3 i miss my courier six may a lot so

some informational tidbits about her under the cut! (her whole profile/backstory post is still separate i will make it when i have time ong)

she’s actually an alcoholic. the type where her tolerance is so high, in her story, her vault 13 canteen is actually full of scotch and not water. she brings a separate canister for water, but even then, it’s more likely the vault 13 canteen is full as opposed to her water bottle. she’s fond of scotch, and if she had more leeway, she’d be shaking csravaners and bartenders down for her native baijiu.

her birthday is June 6, 2253. Her birth time? 7:06 PM. (a gemini sun, libra moon, and sagittarius rising…yeah, and a cancer venus, too. as someone with a lot of earth signs myself, i genuinely think she’s fated to be doomed with melancholia LMFAO)

she will raze the wasteland for some banana yucca fruit. to may, it’s the universe’s gift for the little good that’s left in the world; it also reminded her of her mother’s pastries back home, which she’d sometimes use bananas for.

when no one’s watching (or so she thinks—boone has caught her a dozen times), while out in the wasteland, when innocents die, she picks broc flowers and leaves them by their corpses. when she can move their bodies, she does, laying them to rest behind a stone so at least they could get some respect in death.

on that note, it’s one of the reasons why the legion gradually infuriated her. in Shi culture, death rites are held in high regard, and that stuck with her. so to find corpses of murdered civillians disrespectfully laden with bombs and traps, used to bring about the death of another? it brought such a sour taste to her mouth even her aura, the air about her: it darkens, becomes heavier.

she has holotapes of Shi music she’d been meaning to make a player for, but just couldn’t find the time. her getting shot was a blessing in disguise: when doc mitchell gave her the pip-boy, it made her happier somewhat that it could read all the songs she’d been collecting for the past few years. so instead of Johnny Guitar, you’re more likely to hear Lily Chao’s Shepherdress, or even Slim Whitman’s China Doll.

in early game, may only uses one gun: the assault rifle she used to escape the Shi prison, which she added with a silencer and kept in good condition as it was the only weapon that kept her alive all these years. it was also the only one she could afford. however, as she builds her skill in guns, she starts to explore.

may is most proficient in melee and unarmed. back in the Empire of Shi, they teach the military a lot of martial arts techniques, and alongside her brother who taught her she watched military training and followed along—much to her father’s chagrin, especially during the times when she’d sneak out of class or a meeting with the Shi high society matchmaker to learn the latest move.

in this vein, it’s actually a reprieve that may guns you down. because while she’s got a small frame, she’s agile…and her hands and feet kick where it hurt. have you ever been on the receiving end of punches so strong and fast you don’t even see it coming until you black out, barely registering the surprise? a thug in freeside would tell you all about it, but he’d have to be alive to do so. unfortunately for him, may kicked a little too hard. oops.

there’s also a small moment after she returns from Big MT where boone asks her to teach him some of her moves. of course it’s a tension filled moment. of course may beats boone’s bigger frame. of course it turns boone on to be kicked in the face and pinned to the ground by this gorgeous woman.

ALSO: how boone and may met! of course, it was inside Dinky the Dinosaur’s mouth; hard-pressed for caps, may didn’t want to go into the lobby and lob over her precious caps, few and far between, for lodging. she doesn’t see boone’s gun, so she gets the smart idea to squat up that dinosaur’s mouth, just sleep for three hours before hunting down her platinum chip.

imagine boone’s surprise when a masked girl sneaks up on him silently. when he raises his rifle, it freaks may out, and her instinct in close quarters is to go into Butterfly Angel on this man’s face before he can pull the trigger. it ends with may overpowering boone, her face over his as he looks up at her.

“you legion?”

a pause. at this point, may only knew of them from nipton and rumors from the other people in the mojave. “the costumed freaks from the east? no.”

“then what are you doing here? who the hell are you?”

“wanted a place to sleep. cheap. didn’t think someone would be here,” she says, letting him go as the two stand up while the sun rises. and the rest is history.

may would never say it aloud, but she’d always wanted a family of her own. if survival was an assurance, not a slim possibility in the wasteland, she’d have more incentive to settle down—but alas, she doesn’t want her children to suffer the same fate.

surprisingly, she gets along well with veronica. may and boone stop at the 188 enough for veronica to chat may up, and eventually she lets her join them (to boone’s chagrin, but he eventually grew to like veronica’s chatter—because it often gave him a chance to hear may’s voice. later on, maybe even a dry laugh, when veronica says a stupid joke.)

may lives in an eternal conundrum in terms of her appearance: people can’t tell if 23 is too young for her expression and personality to be as grumpy and unsociable as it is, or if it’s surprisingly older because of her youthful face. she could pass for 19–hell, she could pass for a model.

it’s why she goes out masked in the wasteland. she knew being ‘pretty’ (she hated the word, like it was all she was supposed to be the way people gushed at her over it) was a reason to be targeted more often, so she always concealed her face.

boone doesn’t even see her face until she meets mr. house and he’s invited to the presidential suite, where jane the securitron gives may a change of clothes. after a shower and slipping into the black gown, it almost gives boone a heart attack: this is what this woman looked like? holy shit. what the hell?

after getting the platinum chip from benny, she also sneaks out of the strip using the NCR monorail because she had a bad feeling about Mr. House. it’s why she’s in businesswear and shades: not the best disguise, but at least it wasn’t her merc clothes.

OKAY that’s a lot of rambling >< i just love may a lot?! i can already see people in new vegas in the tv show talking about “courier six” and one gambler going “i heard she was the meanist and smartist bitch in the wasteland!” and this gambler would be RIGHT.

(she’s also very in love when OWB rolls around but you didn’t hear that from me.)

[incorrect-pipravi]

More PipRavi headcanons cuz why not!

I imagine their first kiss was intiated by Pip because I think Ravi didn’t want to ruin his friendship with her.

I think it was at one of their houses. They were just sitting on the bed talking about Sal and The Andie Bell case.

“I can’t express how grateful I’m, Sarge. You gave my brother the justice he deserved and I’m forever in debt to you.”

Pip would reply “Give yourself some credit, Agent Ravi! After all, you were my partner.” there would be this moment of silence and Pip would pull Ravi and press their mouths together.

He would start kissing her back and she’d pull back and be like “I thought you’d never do it!”

“I wasn’t sure you liked me back, Sarge.”

Pip would laugh and be like “You’re way too smart to be that dense.”

He’d laugh and be like “I guess I am.”

And then they’d kiss again and they get walked on by one of their parents (probably Victor) who would definitely be like “Oh, finally! I’m glad you guys figured it out because everyone could see it but you two!”

Pip is a demisexual queen and Ravi is a bisexual/pansexual king and don’t ask me why they just give me those vibes!

Ravi’s first crush was SRK (a famous Indian actor) and he was so confused because in all of the movies he’d seen the guy is supposed to love the girl so he tells Sal and Sal tells him that sometimes people love someone of the same gender and there’s nothing wrong with him.

He comes out to Pip a few months into their relationship while watching a movie (the movie is Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge btw trust me I was with them).

“You know, he was my first crush!”

At first, Ravi is nervous because what if Pip does not want to date a guy who is attracted to other guys too, but Pip’s answer would be a faux pouty “That’s not fair! How am I supposed to compete with Bolloywood’s biggest romance star?!”

And then Pip would actually get serious and tell him that it’s totally okay he needn’t to worry at all.

“Before you, I’ve never been attracted to anyone. I thought there was something wrong with me, too. And then I told Cara and after a very deep internet scroll, I settled on the term demisexual.”

Ravi would definitely smirk/grin and reply something like “So what I’m hearing is that I’m so sexy, I awakened something in you?” and Pip would roll her eyes and be like “I knew it’d get to your head.”

Ravi loves rainy weather because it reminds him of the first time Pip said “I love you.”

Ravi is definitely the cook between the two and he loves making Pip meals.

Especially breakfast in the bed.

Pip loves cradling her fingers in Ravi’s hair whenever they’re cuddling.

Ravi teases Pip about her height by putting her things on the top shelves (in honor of me going crazy over Zain’s and Emma’s height difference pt.2).

He would eventually give them to her, but of course it’s after a little cute angry Pip scolding!

Ravi has a scar on his chest due to a clumsy childhood accident that Pip jokes is hot!

“Yes, Pip. I know how very sexy and hot I am.”

Ravi knows how to play violin. I’d like to believe Sal taught him when they were young.

Pip loves writing poetry, but she keeps it a secret because it’s embarrassing (she has written many poems about Ravi).

Ravi finds them one day and he is brought to tears by how beautiful they’re.

“They’re actually inspired by you.” and here comes more tears and laughter and hugs.

Ravi would be like “I’m just so lucky to have you.”

Ravi has a good singing voice and he sometimes sings to Pip to soothe her back to sleep whenever she has nightmares.

I mentioned that Ravi is a swiftie but I forgot to mention that Pip starts liking Taylor’s music because of him.

And yes they go to the eras tour together. They’d even dress up in outfits inspired by their favorite albums/eras.

Pip would probably wear a simple dress with the cardigan because her favorite album is folklore/evermore and it’s not up to debate!

Ravi would probably put rhinestones around his eyes to imitate the lover album cover and wear some pastel colored outfit (most likely some knitted sweater and cargo pants).

Pip would so love the song “sweet nothing” because it reminds her of Ravi.

Forehead kisses from Ravi are Pip’s favorite while Ravi prefers the kisses Pip presses to the corner of his mouth and his cheeks.

They’re not the ones for big PDA but they do subtle ones like hand holding or a hand on each other’s thigh under the table or some such thing.

Ravi loves playing footsies with Pip when they’re having dinner with either of their parents because her blush is so cute.

Pip loves listening to audio books while Ravi prefers reading.

Pip claims that she is not the jealous type of gf but she definitely is! Like she trusts Ravi and she’s secure about their love but she just hates it when someone is friendly/flirty with him.

I think her jealousy stims from her insecurity that she doesn’t deserve him.

He always assures her that he feels like the luckiest person alive to have her and that she’s literally perfect to him.

I think Ravi is more protective than jealous, but he knows that his girl can protect herself after all she is Pippa freaking Fitz-Amobi.

He still tries to protect her despite that (like the time he yelled at Max).

Ravi’s biggest insecurity is probably his body because he’s not very muscular or strong.

Pip always assures him that he’s perfect by leaving kisses on his chest.

“Brains beat brawn any day of the week!” (Actual quote from the book btw)

The first time Ravi visits Pip in Cambridge, she takes him on a tour around campus and all of her classmates are very shocked because they didn’t think THE Pippa Fitz-Amobi is capable of being chatty and bubbly!

“Who are you and what have you done with my classmate Pippa??”

[greatbigbellies]

2023 PREGNANCY KINK ADVENT CALENDAR (DAY 17)

McPreggo Mukbang Pt 3.

Pregnant with quads, overfull of amniotic fluid, and stuffed with multiple meals worth of fast food, Penelope wasn’t going to get anywhere quickly. Still, despite her heavily pregnant weight, she fought against gravity to try to stand up. She needed to test something.

She grunted deeply as she shifted forward onto her feet before slowly standing fully, her belly jutting out far in front of her. It hung so far forward that it completely blocked her view of the keyboard that was on her desk. She breathed heavily as she supported her extremely heavy belly with her hands, smiling halfheartedly at her camera as her chat exploded. She read none of it though as she instead relayed instructions to her viewers, now broaching the 1000’s.

“I’m going to turn by back to you guys, I need you to tell me if I look pregnant from the back,” she said, before rotating. She didn’t turn especially fast due to her weight, but the length of her belly still made it look like it swung quickly around. She faced away from her camera, holding her belly for about 5 seconds, before slowly turning back. She glanced at the flood of messages in the affirmative. Apparently her belly was so wide that you could clearly see the sides looming out, even from directly behind. She turned again, 90 degrees, to give her viewers a profile shot. “How overdue do I look right now?” she asked.

“Really really overdue.” “That’s the biggest tummy I’ve ever seen!” “Like you might fall over.” “Like a year pregnant.” “Penelope I think you might just be pregnant call it a hunch.”

Penelope read the chat, and caught a glimpse of herself in her streaming software. She was shocked that she could even stretch this far. She huffed as the strain of standing began to mount, and she dropped down into her chair again. The pood gamer chair creaked in protest under her immense weight, enough that she held her breath, afraid something would snap. When it didn’t she exhaled slowly and looked at the remaining nuggets. 12 measly chicken nuggets were all that remained of her mukbang, and she was ready to call it a day.

She reached for them before pausing, and looking at her monitor. She silently scrolled through the online menu before stopping on the nuggets, wanting to know what she was getting into. “Okay so, these are going to make the quadruplets I’m carrying 12% heavier, and… 24% more active. Good ones to end on I guess. I think 12% more weight and I would have fallen over. Lets see how they taste,” she ate a single regular nugget, and a single spicy one too. She chewed each thoroughly, really focusing on the flavors. “I mean, they’re chicken nuggets, they’re not the more complicated thing in the world. Still, they’re pretty good! I mean, the seasonings are nice and I will say that the spicy nuggets do have some heat. Nothing too intense but like… they’ll make your mouth tingle,” she said, before downing the other nuggets in rapid succession. Even after all of that food, and being so enormously pregnant, the nuggets were tasty enough that they disappeared quickly.

Penelope winced as one of the quantum babies in her womb began to squirm. Then the other, then the other, then all 4 were kicking and shifting enough to be visible from the outside. “Okay tha- UNF, that menu lied this is way more than 24% activity, they’re going crazy in there!” she complained, trying to shift in her chair but failing. “...and I feel more than 12% heavier, someone can’t do math,” she grumbled. Her chat pipped up again, reacting to the movement.

“Wow they’re really schmoovin’ huh?” “I’ve never seen it like that from the outside,” “Y’all seen the alien movies?”

“What does that feel like?”

Penelope panted slightly, the weight, and movement, and girth of her massive pregnant tummy was becoming overwhelming. “It feels like… I dunno, it’s just these heavy bodies moving around, independently of you. It’s really freaky, feeling something move inside you that ISN’T you,” she trailed off, staring down at her exposed, undulating belly.

She was massive. She was carrying four full sized eight pound babies inside of her, which were all moving, and even with the extra fluid from the polyhydramnios, still felt packed tight in her womb. Her belly skin was stretched tight, angry red stretchmarks adorned her curves. Her belly button poked out slightly, actually haven flattened with the addition of baby number 4 as she stretched too tight for a proper outie. Her tummy was wide, bowing out to the sides and brushing against the arms of her gamer chair. The entire thing was huge, heavy, and active. 

She just sat, silently, staring at herself. Her chat peppered her with messages, but she missed them all. She swept her hands over her tummy. She pulled them down to her underbelly, giving her tummy a slight lift before letting it drop. She took in the texture of her stretchmarks, and ran her thumb over her belly button. She felt a tiny foot kick into her palm.

It was finally clicking, somewhere in her, she liked it. Some part of her was thoroughly enjoying these sensations. She felt almost overstimulated, and yet somehow almost yearned for more. She felt one of her babies lurch in her, and her stomach, despite all she’d put in it today, growled. 

“So, uh, I’m going to take a little break, so use this time to get a snack or use the rest room. I think I’m going to… place a food delivery order.” she said, finally glancing up at her facecam. “I hear their milkshakes are very, very good,”

[cyncerity]

sorry that all of my posts lately have been about literally nothing but i am seething with rage rn so i’m posting

i’m assuming all of us in the g/t circle know about Fern Gully. It’s one of, if not in my personal opinion, the greatest g/t movies ever made. My sister and i used to watch it every time we drove somewhere on these cheap little screens you could attach to the back of a car seat so you could watch movies. We watched it on a weekly basis. It is one of my favorite movies of all time and it’s not just the rose tinted glasses: i can absolutely understand that some of my favorite movies absolutely suck while actively enjoying it (looking at you Strange Magic), but Fern Gully is genuinely such a good movie. the voice acting (mostly thanks to Robin Williams and Tim Curry), worldbuilding, characters, pacing, the soundtrack and animation especially, it’s all incredible. it holds a special place in my heart.

that being said i just learned that there’s a Fern Gully 2 and it absolutely sucks balls.

rant under cut

really i’ve never had a harder time sitting through a movie, and that’s saying a lot since i just mentioned how much i actually enjoy Strange Magic, which is a notoriously hard to watch movie.

In Fern Gully 2 the pacing sucks, every character is butchered, Batty is kinda like how he was in the first movie, but without Robin William’s delivery he feels like an entirely different character, every bit of world building is chucked out the window, i’ve never seen a more nonsensical plot in my life, there’s these 3 baby animals and the movie can’t decide if it wants them to be able to talk or not, and the budget drop is so obvious it’s painful. the only even mildly enjoyable part of this movie is a short lived gospel number Batty sings for no goddamn reason, but i can’t get mad at it for being totally out of place cause it was the only bit that made me smile even a little.

also it’s in Australia?? I get that the first movie had a kangaroo and like 3 shots of a platypus, but other than that it was kinda just an ambiguous rainforest. No one in the first movie sounded Australian. Even if it was in Australia, I guess you could reason that the fairies didn’t have to have the same accents as the humans, right? Maybe Zak (the human guy that gets shrunk: remember him for later in this rant) was from America but was working in Australia? The two guys who sit in the machine throughout the movie are certainly the peak of American stereotypes. But when the first human and villain (he’s a poacher so basically the villain from Tarzan if he was written worse) of Fern Gully 2 is introduced, he is so violently stereotypically Australian that it’s genuinely jarring when he says his first line.

then we meet his boss who…isn’t Australian. Actually, he kinda looks like a short and fat Hitler.

But whatever, maybe the boss is from out of town, too, like Zak. but NO. we then proceed to meet two more humans who are confirmed to live in Australia with American Accents. PICK A LANE MOVIE. Either set the movie in Australia but give no one accents, or give everyone an accent, you can’t just ONLY GIVE ONE GUY AN ACCENT. HOW THE HELL CAN HE DEVELOP A REGIONAL ACCENT IF NO ONE ELSE IN HIS REGION SOUNDS LIKE THAT??

They’re also both such a massive step down from Hexus. Hexus, aka Tim Curry goo, is one of my favorite villains of all time (Toxic Love is a hard song and scene in general to beat), but he had a purpose. He was representing the dangers and evils of human greed and power. He was a very literal force of chaos and destruction. The entire reason he had power to destroy the forest was because of humans, and that’s a massive part of the movie’s theme and moral.

In Fern Gully 2, these two jackasses want money for selling baby animals. That’s it. And it’s not even really the fairies who stop them: it’s a human girl and her Grandpa who Pips met. The entire symbolic thing from the first movie of Zak having to learn from his mistakes and turn on a goal he once had worked towards is gone. In the first movie, it was equally Zak, Crysta, and the rest of the fairies who trapped Hexus again. In this movie, the fairies are powerless (which they say like 100 times), the humans are doing their best but it’s not doing much, and the only reason the movie turns out ok is cause Crysta shows up for a literal Deus Ex Machina at the very end. It’s so fucking infuriating.

Also, back to Zak: he’s not in this. Like, not even mentioned. There’s one instance of “humans dont know the harm they do to the forest” “well remember some humans do” but that was just foreshadowing the human we meet in this movie who sucks. How can these fairies, who in the first movie believed that humans were fucking extinct, completely forget about the only human they have ever met? Crysta, who by the way isn’t even the main character anymore, never brings him up. Pips (the jerky red haired fairy with the beetle posse), who spends most of the movie around another human and who is the new main character (and maybe the only returning voice actor from the first one), never mentions him. Also, there’s just a FUCKING TOWN NEAR THE FOREST. A TOWN.

remember this shot from the first movie?

yeah apparently it missed AN ENTIRE DAMN CARNIVAL??

Pips, Batty, and the beetle boys take LESS THAN A DAY TO FLY THERE. FUCK THIS MOVIE. SERIOUSLY FUCK THIS MOVIE.

i could go off on more about how the human in this movie (Budgie, which is a stupid ass name) sucks, and now Pips just strolls up to her like “hey” and she’s like “woah a fairy, i’m so shocked you’re real…and now i’m over it, let’s go hang out.” I could also go off about how in the first movie, the entire reason Zak gets shrunk is because Crysta tried to use a spell to make him see her, but accidentally said “size” instead of “sight,” meaning that canonically in this universe, humans can’t see fairies without that spell. So when Pips just waltzes up to the first human he sees, she shouldn’t be able to see him, but whatever. I could also rant about how they made Crysta so disinteresting that she’s probably in less than a third of the film. I could also rant on the three main baby animals who i hate with a burning passion and i was rooting for at least one of them to die throughout the whole movie, but I have homework i need to be doing and grades that are due this friday, i just decided to rant instead of doing stuff lol

[knightinink]

Do you have any reccomendations for Dip/Pip fics??

OH BOY DO I!!! Let me give you some that I just love!!!

Ao3

Stairway-“Damien was sick and tired of being treated like dirt by his father. He decided it was high time to hop on the bus and head out of town. Sadly, he missed the bus the first night, but it did lead him to a chance encounter with a pretty blonde who seemed to be having the same troubles and an unlikely friendship was formed. DamienPip romance or friendship. Implied abuse.”

Accidental-“The first thing Pip noticed when he opened his eyes was a sense of numbness. The second thing he noticed was the pile of flesh and bones smashed into the concrete. Oh.”

The Fault in our Battle Against Climate Change-“Damien Thorn watches his father lose to ManBearPig.”

Sincerely, Pip-“Damien really has nothing to do, so when he gets a letter Invitation from a familiar blonde haired boy, who is he to refuse? Better than being in hell anyway. And who would've though so.ething as small as olives would of gotten them together?”

Spectacular-“Phillip and Damien cuddle.”

Tears of a demon-“Damien and Pip are having a sleepover at pips and Damien can't help but feel an emotion he isn't used to: sadness. Though, he doesn't know that, so he tries to ask and it doesn't go well.”

A Stone a Day Keeps the Pond at Bay-“"Can I kiss you?” The words were sudden, completely unexpected, especially from Pip.”

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known-“Damien is totally fine by himself, on his own, no friends or anyone required. He figures it'll be like that forever. Until Pip shows up, his halo broken and looking for help.”

A little too much comforting-“Basically Pip carried and comforted his child too much and Lucas became too attached and managed to cry his way into sharing the big bed with his dad's.”

Wings-“Life in hell is difficult, especially when you're Satan's son, but Pip was always there to hear Damien complain, curse at everything and everyone around him, as well as heaven and earth as they shared a cup of tea. Pip did so much for him, more than he could ever imagine. Even without wings, Pip was a true angel. At least for Damien.

Camelias-“𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 ▎damien regalaba ramos de camelias a philip, para demostrarle que sin importar la diferencia de clases sociales, su amor sería eterno y puro.”

Eisoptrophobia-“While on vacation in the mountains, Damien finds a tourist attraction he really wants to visit, but Pip is hesitant to go, puzzling the antichrist.”

Power Outage-“Pip and Damien are in the middle of a sleepover when suddenly the lights go out. Damien's isn't bothered too much by it, but Pip is another story.”

Growing Pains-“Damien’s horns and wings are starting to grow in, but he’s got extremely painful headaches and backaches and his dad’s excitement about it isn’t helping. Pip immediately notices the shift in demeanor of his friend and is quick to aid him through the process, even if Pip is unfamiliar with the situation.”

Shelter In The Forge-“It’s storming in a small England town one night and poor Pip can’t get to sleep because he’s afraid of it. Thankfully, Joe knows just to to comfort the boy, and they take shelter in the forge together until Pip falls asleep.”

Love Letters-“Pip has a secret admirer.”

Summon Me and I’ll Come Running-“Damien grants Pip a magic power and Pip doesn't abuse it, because he's the only good person in South Park.”

Stay with me and I’ll stop the hurt-“Pip renounces his position in Heaven to be with Damien, also renouncing his one chance to finally meet his parents and reunite with them, because he's a selfish human being.”

Fanfiction.net

Need A Little Cheering Dip-“Damien comes home to find a crying Pip.”

Dip oneshots-“Damien and Pip, Dip galore, ranging from fluffy and cute to...not. T for South Park and yaoi. Fluff,angst, and randomness ahead!”

Name-“Damien hadn't anticipated that he'd have to be a shoulder to cry on. First and foremost, he had not a clue what he could say that might serve as a form of comfort. But comfort, it seems, can sometimes come from the most seemingly insignificant things.”

Graceful-“Even as married adults, Damien is always enchanted by every little bit of grace that Pip exudes. Every ounce of grace, intertwined with every action Pip takes, still manages to positively enchant him.”

Anthology of DIP-“A series of prompt short-stories involving he pairing of Damien and Pip”

The Red String-“What happens when a blonde is born without a string, especially in a world where almost everyone has one? What happens when a fateful encounter happens? Phillip longed to have a string, but maybe it wasn't meant to be.”

Hot Chocolate-“Pip is working in an empty café when a dark-looking customer comes in for a drink.”

Dear Santa-“Christmas isn't usually the best time of year when you're the son of Satan... (Festive Dip one-shot!)”

A Purrfect Christmas-“'Twas the night before Christmas, and there Pip Pirrup sat, eyes full of glistening sorrow, talking to a red-eyed cat. Meow. (Festive ONE-SHOT)”

Like Father, Like Son-“Luca Thorn-Pirrup and his father Damien like to torment Pip sometimes.”

Just for you-“damien finds a crying pip on his bedroom and tries to cheer him up.”

A Home Away from Home-“While getting ready to leave South Park forever, Pip looks back fondly on the small mountain town.”

How The Stars Came To Be-“It is not a tale of war, or of lovers, ill-fated or otherwise. Be it a tale of the stars, and how they came into the heavens above. Their origin be not from thy heart, or thy soul, but from the eyes of two younglings, an angel and a demon.”

20 Questions-“Damien and Pip ask 20 questions.”

Angel and Demon-“Damien is telling a bedtime story to his two kids”

Phoenix Wings-“How does one run from something that is everywhere at once? There is nothing safe to them, except the security of their arms.”

It’s Just A Nightmare-“Pip has a nightmare while sleeping at Damien's house.”

Unconventional-“Their romance was hardly picture-perfect, but it made them happy.”

Fancy Hand Sandwiches and Sunsets-“They sealed it with a kiss.”