#or overly anxious or misogynistic

[metalcorebarbie]

x

[mywingsareonwheels]

I’m on series 3 of Dix Pour Cent and omg I know that the Catherine/Mathias/Noémie love triangle won’t be resolved by the polyamoury but I so so wish it would. Catherine and Noémie would make amazing metamours (or indeed partners in their own right!), and Mathias really needs to lovingly outmaneuvered for his own good which they’d do brilliantly. ;-) I bet Camille and Hippolyte would help. :D

More seriously: I’m so delighted that in all of Mathias’s messy love-life there’s no attempt in the show to portray any of the three women concerned as bad or horrible or otherwise fulfilling any of the misogynist stereotypes I wearily expect at times like this. I mean:

Catherine might encourage Matthias overly-ambitious side professionally at times in a way that tends to go badly wrong, but she is warm, kind, intellectual, emotionally wise, brilliant at pep talks which she gives very freely. She’s one of the most compassionate character in the show, and absolutely lovely to Camille, recognising her accurately and immediately as innocent in the entire mess, and encouraging Mathias to be a better father towards her.

Annick may have a slightly crab-buckety attitude at times but she is such a caring and protective mother to Camille, she’s astute and fierce and clearly enjoys her life (including her professional life) in a way that far too few of the other characters manage.

And Noémie, oh bless her. She’s a mess, but so loving and loyal and generous-spirited and ferociously good at her job (honestly, I am always going to have a soft spot for a neurodivergent-coded, extremely anxious spreadsheet-obsessive ;-) ).

And all three are stunningly beautiful and outright recognised as such. And with two of the relevant actors (Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu and Isabelle Candelier) in their late 50s at the time of filming and the other (Laure Calamy) in her mid-40s, *damn* but that’s far too rare, at least in the UK and US. (The show also accurately recognises that Liliane Rovère is extremely gorgeous, and she was in her late 80s at the time of filming. :) )

As for Mathias... oh, I am so fond of him, and so frustrated. Not a hate-crush any more, but an exasperated crush definitely. ;-) He’s in dire need of a wake-up call, because he clearly genuinely cares a lot about everyone around him and yet is so terrible at behaving like it. His frustrated faces when the consequences of his own actions rebound on him yet again are absolute gold, and every time I’m like... yeah, good. This is salutary. And deserved. And hilarious, let’s be honest. ;-)

[crossover-enthusiast]

Meanwhile, with Siren! Kevin—he is currently being scolded by Siren! Radford and Siren! Rick who have no idea why he just didn't do anything to that 'pirate lady'. Kevin says he doesn't know what happened—just something about her seemed 'different'. The thing was, as she was protesting, she wasn't saying any of it angrily. She seemed to almost be begging him to go just so her and her crew wouldn't have to kill him. Which is very different compared to what they all usually expect from pirates.

Siren Kevin decides to brush this off though, seeming to be anxious because whoever their queen is will probably be dissapointed they didn't catch anything. When they swim back down into a very murky, abandoned looking underwater kingdom filled with sirens—they inform the very intimidating queen (Carmen) they didn't catch anything, but dont say anything about why. And after being scolded severely, they're sent to do some severe chores for her as punishment. Despite this, Siren Kevin seems more wistful and interested thinking about Pirate Tom.

When Pirate Tom finally leaves the area—she let's Tom in while she's holding onto Kevin. She says that she'll probably be alright, but that she probably can't sail because of what happened, so she asks for Lora to do so. Lora agrees, and while Tom is holding onto Kevin. Lora has a very bitter conversation with Tom, being oddly harsh with her and saying that she's just like every other 'overly feminine women' she's met. This confuses Tom, which frustrates Lora. For the rest of the time, they're pretty quiet. And then Tom decides to leave to go get some bandages for Kevin.

It ends on Lora glancing at Kevin in interest, and then furrowing her brows.

SIREN KINGDOM!!!!

Also damn Lora still a misogynist, sadge 😔 /j

[algolagniaa]

i do think I’m the best judge of character in the world (unless we’re talking about hot women but nobody’s perfect) and this has been proven true time and time again so here’s my list of red flags

doesn’t like the outdoors

doesn’t like animals ESPECIALLY cats

misogynist in any way

anxious smol bean

giant fragile ego

talks shit about other people in a way that if everything they said was true it would reflect very badly on them but you aren’t supposed to notice that

really braggy not about their personal characteristics but about all the stuff they have

being around them leaves you with a bad feeling

passive aggressive

vegan

lack of humility

obsessed with their looks

doesnt seem to love anything

brags about being manipulative. literally so many manipulative people I’ve met have bragged to me about how good they are at manipulating people and then they’re SHOCKED that the same tactics they bragged about don’t work on me. and I’m like sis you TOLD ME about this but apparently no one else actually listens

no fun

overly cringe and not in an endearing way….. like you get secondhand embarrassment from just being around them

people pleaser

weirdly obsessed with you but in a mean way like oscillates between worshipfully talking about how great you are and then trying to put you down and insult you

tries to make you feel bad for not doing enough for them regardless of how much you actually do for them

whole personality is about how the world is against them

thinks upsetting you is funny

oversteps boundaries even once

inconsistent behavior that doesn’t make sense

litters

negative about everything/always kills your vibe

transparently tries to manipulate you

hard to describe but if someone feels bad they are bad. if you look at them and instantly hate them or feel sick at the sight of them there’s a reason for that

there are exceptions to these in fact Oscar checks off many items on this list and so do I. but they’re good guidelines generally

how can anyone hate hiking there has to be something deeply wrong with you as a person to hate hiking. like something blocked off deep in your soul

[oyasuminto]

OC Intros

I plan on making full-on bios at some point, like one post per character, but for the time being I’ll give you these little summaries!

Argus Sullivan

Argus is a hot-headed, sadistic, misogynistic, 29-year-old warehouse worker suffering from erotomania; a delusional disorder resulting in intense obsessive tendencies and the belief that the object of his ‘affections’ feels just as strongly towards him.

He wants the ideal white-picket-fence life with a spouse, 2.5 kids, maybe a dog or two, even if that means going to extreme lengths to keep his spouse in line. His “canon” obsession is Cherie.

blueskidoo

blueskidoo is an 18-year-old Catholic school student trying to break from the influence of her overly strict parents and a self-proclaimed proud morosexual; she’s attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Conversely, blue herself does quite well academically, even if she often slacks off.

She’s like many young adults; yearning for freedom and wanting her own independence, though her parents are more controlling than most, as they’re desperate to keep her in-line and pure.

Cherie Senft

Cherie is a 24-year-old woman working at a local, overpriced, rather pretentious coffee shop. She’s a ditzy social butterfly with a ridiculously high libido and a love of partying, raves, and all the chaos that comes with it. Despite being a young adult, she’s horrifically irresponsible and negligent.

All she wants in life is to be free from expectations; to cast off the expectations of her family, to forget her mistakes, and to just live without worry, no matter how unrealistic it might be.

Damien Fleury

Damien is a 35-year-old therapist who was assigned Argus as a client for court-ordered therapy. She’s a calm, well put-together woman who exudes confidence and competence with everything she does, rarely ever letting her guard down or allowing others to see her weaknesses.

After learning just how dangerous Argus has the potential to be, Damien has made it her goal to act as damage control; intercepting his plans or trying to redirect him onto less destructive ideas.

Finn Gianakis

Finn is an alternate version of Argus; a 29-year-old tutor battling against obsessive thoughts and violent desires. Outwardly, he seems perfectly normal: an intelligent, polite southern gentleman who’d drop anything to help his dear mother, and who’s charmingly quirky.

He hates the urges that arise around people he finds attractive; the illogical jealousy, the need to claim them, all of it.

Fuwafuwa

Fuwa (Phoebe) is a reclusive 26-year-old freelance digital artist who spends her days secluded in her small Alaskan apartment with her two cats (Archibald and Hjalmar). She’s highly anxious, cynical, and finds it difficult to open up to others in most situations.

Those who take the time to get past her hard, prickly shell will be rewarded by a soft, affectionate, loyal, and nurturing friend who’s always ready to go to bat for them.

Hà Liên Thi Phạm

Lien is a 26-year-old barista working alongside Cherie at a pretentious, overpriced coffee shop popular with upper-class teens and young adults. She’s the “mom friend” of any group she’s in: mature, nurturing, sometimes a little overbearing (though with good intentions).

She comes from a rough upbringing; abusive parents, a bullying brother, a runaway attempt that went horribly wrong, and spends every day of her life trying to distance herself from her old life.

Harrison Alexander

Harrison is a 27-year-old bartender at a ritzy casino who is constantly chasing the newest thrill, even if it ends up harming him. He’s charming and a smooth talker, but also a coward who is often self-centred and tends to run from the consequences of his actions.

After having grown up in rural Australia, Harrison is yearning for a bigger and better life, though his efforts are hampered by his impulsivity, self-destructiveness, and rampant alcoholism.

Locke Vanitas

Locke is a 32-year-old drug dealer whose decade long stint in prison only served to make him worse. He’s a sadistic, detached man with no regard for the lives of those around him, his episodes of pure, unadulterated rage being the only real match for his laziness.

The only people Locke seems to have any level of care for are his little sister and grandparents, though even they’ve come to fear him over time as his addictions change him into someone unrecognizeable.

Miele Alarie

Miele, aged 26, acts as sweet as his name implies. He’s ambitious, affectionate, and as overdramatic as you could expect a minor child star, former theater kid, and current-day stage actor to be in his day-to-day life. Beneath his saccharine façade lays something much more sinister.

He’s the third youngest of eight siblings, all involved with the performing arts in some way, shape, or form under the management of their former beauty-queen mother. His twin sister was once a package deal with him.

missLovelace

missLovelace (Cassandra) is a 26-year-old college student majoring in math and minoring in comp-sci who lives on-campus. She’s bubbly and exuberant, though allergic to any kind of direct conflict, often leaving her as the one trying to settle arguments as quickly as possible.

She’s very close to her parents and little sister, visiting them as often as she can.

Percy Thomas

Percival Thomas is a 23-year-old library assistant and devout Catholic who struggles to stand up for himself or say no, often leading to him carrying out everyone else’s errands and menial tasks. Soft-spoken, generous, and too forgiving for his own good.

He’s extremely close to his older sister, her husband, and their four children. Percy takes his position as their uncle very seriously.

POLLINICPANIC

POLLINICPANIC (Makara) is a 27-year-old finance officer who lives with their ailing parents and multiple siblings, working hard to support them. They’re very light-hearted and mischievous, taking any opportunity to play jokes on their friends, though they also have an unfortunate tendency of pushing their own limits and overworking themself.

Pollen spends their free time in their extensive, treasured garden, which they’ve put years of love and effort into.

starbunnies

starbunnies (Serena) is a 23-year-old photographer who primarily works from home so she can spend more time with her toddler daughter. She’s very soft-spoken and nurturing, skilled at navigating difficult topics and bringing a calming presence to most situations she’s involved with.

She often worries about being perceived as immature due to her love of romance and fantasy, and puts a lot of effort into making sure people take her seriously.

Yohan Chae

Yohan is a 26-year-old delinquent-turned-mechanic who, despite his mean looks, has a personality more akin to a golden retriever. He could, by some people’s interpretation, fit the dictionary definition of a simp towards just about every woman he meets.

Though he may seem a little empty-headed, Yohan is intensely dedicated to his passions, friends, and family (particularly his younger brother).

Ziggy Santana

Ziggy is a 28-year-old unemployed stoner who peaked in high-school and has only gone downhill from there. He spends most of his time getting high, gaming, and heading down to the rarely-used skate park by his parents’ house.

Though friendly and generally well-intentioned, Ziggy doesn’t seem to realize that it’s highly inappropriate to grope people (or more) in public, nor does he acknowledge how much his little sister, Joni, despises him for being the family failure.

[lexidanger]

I really love Crit Role and im almost 60 eps in, I LOVE Grog and the twins, Pike is an angel and Matt is a fucking DM God

 but I cannot for the life of me enjoy Keyleth

[hopeshoodie]

What insecurities do you think the girls have?

Erghhhh this is an AMAZING question, Iris. Let's move from most insecure to least

Lottie

She has a lot of physical insecurities, and I imagine they're little insignificant things like 'my shoulders are too wide, my nose is asymmetrical, I don't have a cupids bow, I have cellulite' instead of bigger things. She spends so much time applying makeup and trying to perform her style for others that she ends up picking herself apart

That none of her friends actually like her and she has no one

That she has to compete with the girls around her, for attention/job opportunities/men

That people think she's not smart so she has to retaliate by being snarky and overly invested in other people's business

That she's unlovable and will never find The One

Hope (I love my girl but oh boy is she insecure)

She always second guesses the commitments she makes because what if there's something better? What if something out of her control falls through?

That she's unlovable (she doesn't believe in The One like Lottie but she very much does worry that her standards are too high and she'll never find someone)

That she's not successful and rich ENOUGH (she's very confident in her career but also is motivated by wanting more)

Once she recognizes and starts actively working on her anger issues she's very self conscious of her past actions and how older friends perceive her

That she makes more money than her partner and some internalized misogynistic part of her doesn't want that to be true

Marisol

That her attraction to women isn't valid/her lack of experience with women. She constantly asks herself if she's pretending to be into women for attention lmao 13 year old me agrees

That she's not as smart as she thinks she is or conversely that she is super smart but can't convey that to other people

That she doesn't do as well in school as she'd like

That she doesn't have a whole lot of close friends, just many acquaintances. She's constantly anxious that people are doing things without her and excluding her.

Purely headcanon but I feel like she's really conscious of how she moves/walks and is insecure about how others perceive her because of it

Her height, but only sometimes

Hannah (I hate putting her so low but I think she's so naive and firmly in her not like other girls phase that she doesn't recognize her insecurities)

That other people will think she's stuck up or stupid

That she's actually terrible at writing (with her reading comprehension of classics... girl it's not looking good)

That she can't compete with other women. Not that shes not interesting and hot, she knows she is, but that she'll get lost in a crowd.

That she's not the right kind of beautiful. She gets called pretty a lot but will pick about that she wants to be sexy or intense or attractive in a way that doesn't come naturally to her.

Priya (I hate saying she's less insecure than the others because she's way more immature, but her immaturity comes from lack of impulse control rather than anxiety)

I get the sense that Priya is happy how she is, but feels like she never lived up to some expectation. She enjoys being a realtor, but always felt like she could/should do something more

I don't think she has the self reflection to realize that people perceive her as basic, but she definitely recognizes and worries that she doesn't have a distinct personal style like it seems everyone else does

I think the majority of her insecurities are based on what she THINKS everyone else is. She thinks 'everyone else has a million friends and I don't' 'everyone else has a 14 step skin routine and I don't' 'everyone else has their life completely figured out and I don't'. None of its true, she's just self flagellating herself because of the idealized things she sees on Instagram.

Elisa

She's super confident about her appearance, style, personality, and status, but she's DEFINITELY very dependent on others for validation. She's constantly worried that her look/interests will go out of style.

Shannon

What other people think of her. She's fine if you hate her (and might even like it), as long as she thinks the criticisms are invalid or she doesn't like you already. She just needs to be relevant, desired, and thought of as interesting so badly.

My girl doesn't have an insecure bone in her body aside from being wrong. When she's confronted with demonstrable proof that she's wrong about something big, she shuts down and obsesses over it. Little things she can shrug off easily, but when something gets under her skin she cannot stop obsessing about it.

[thedeathdeelers]

Trevor doesn’t remember when he first starts thinking of his bandmates again. His dead bandmates, that is, and just thinking the word dead makes him want to curl into the fetal position all over again like when he was seventeen. He thinks he starts remembering them when a decade has passed and Carrie is born. He was twenty-seven and there was this little baby with big eyes and small pink fingernails in his arms, when he thinks ‘She’ll never get to meet her uncles.’ He doesn’t cry then, but it’s almost as if his baby girl can feel his sadness because she starts screaming in his arms and it's enough of a distraction that he rocks her to sleep without thinking of the boys again that day.

He keeps them locked away in the back of his mind for the better part of five years until kindergarten rolls around and little Carrie with her curly pigtails and glittery Hello Kitty backpack comes home excitedly talking about her new best friends.

“Daddy, they are so cool! Flynn has dinosaur stickers and she gave me one. See!” She points to the top of her right hand where there’s a green pterodactyl cartoon sticker firmly slapped on. “And Julie has this huge purple crayon and she let me use it to write my name!”

At first, he’s beyond excited. His little girl made friends on her first day, which shouldn’t have been such a surprise now that he thinks about it since she has always been a little go-getter. Still, he ‘ooh’s’ and ‘ahh’s’ at the right moments as she talks his ear off about her new friends. By the end of the first week, Carrie has decided she wants to invite her best friends over for a small back to school party with just them and lots of pizza. She reminds Trevor three times Friday night not to forget that Flynn likes Hawaiian pizza and Julie likes orange Fanta best, and that he should become best friends with their parents because she’s decided they are all going to grow up and live together.

He laughs and a twinge of ache in his chest reminds him for a moment of a time when he was younger, not as young as Carrie maybe but just as naive. He remembers for a second flashes of running around playing tag at the park and scrapping the top of his thumb’s skin off. He still has the scar.

He can still remember Alex pulling a Batman sticker out of his pocket and taking him to the public restrooms to clean the cut. Alex the worrier, even at twelve, rambling about getting the cut infected and the proper way to tie his shoes and doesn’t he ever think about where he’s walking.

“Bobby! Oh my god, please tell me you don’t need stitches!” He can remember floppy blonde hair and blue eyes and gasping breaths. “Don’t tell me it doesn’t hurt, you idiot, your eyes are watering.”

“Maybe I’m just mesmerized by your beauty, dude,” he can hear himself replying to try and ease the rigid shoulders and deep frown on his friend’s face. “Really, man, I’m fine. Just a little blood.”

“Let’s just get you to a bathroom and wash it off, okay?” But Alex had been hiding his eye roll and curling lips and his shoulders no longer made him look like an awkwardly hanging scarecrow. It was enough to make him forget his thumb was throbbing and dripping blood.

The scrape is deep enough that it bleeds for a while into the sink, he can still picture the reddish water as it goes down the drain. He and Alex had met in the back of their sixth grade English class, Alex was shy and constantly biting his nails while he was just trying to catch a nap without getting in trouble. They’d bonded over a mutual silent agreement: Bobby held Alex’s hand under the desk when he had to read aloud in class and Alex would nudge him with the right answer when the teacher would call him in the middle of a power nap.

“Gatsby is gay,” he can remember Alex whispering to him when Miss Augustine had called him one time in class. He remembers repeating it without a second thought and realizing only seconds later what the fuck he had just said. He remembers wanting to turn to Alex because he knows there’s something important in the interpretation for his friend. He knows it by how Alex sometimes stares at that soccer player, Gabriel, who sits two rows in front of them. He knows by how Alex turns red when the guy notices him staring and the anxious way he strums a beat with his fingers. He wishes he could turn to him and say he accepts him no matter who he loves without saying it because he knows Alex isn’t ready for that discussion yet. But they’re in class so instead he turns to his best friend and gives him an overly exasperated look, hoping it conveys how he has no idea how he’s going to dig himself out of this one but Miss Augustine had smiled and just went about her lesson.

They never talk about it but a few days later, when he plops his copy of the book onto Alex’s desk before class he smiled and says, “You were right. Daisy was totally a beard. Nick and Gatsby were totally in love.” And reading shitty Fitzgerald - who stole more than half of the amazing work written and attributed to him from his wife Zelda, and as a feminist Bobby knows that’s just some misogynistic bullshit he cannot tolerate even for a school grade - is all worth it. Because Alex looks at him with a look of pure joy that makes him feel like he just scored an extra carton of strawberry milk at lunch (and that’s immense happiness because everyone loves that’s pink milk.)

He’s thinking about the park with a bloody thumb when he hears the doorbell and goes to answer it. And suddenly all the excitement of meeting his daughter’s new friends leaves his body as a chill kisses his spine. Nothing prepares him for seeing the girl from the Orpheum staring at him with a taller, blue-eyed man who must be her husband. His eyes are wide and his mouth is hanging open, What are you doing here? He wants to ask. Are you a ghost? But before he can, he feels Carrie wiggle her way past him and leap into two pairs of arms. He can just make out black, thick boxer braids, deep brown skin, and a bright mint feather boa above Carrie’s head and he knows he’s just met Flynn. The other arm wrapped around his daughter is attached to a girl slightly smaller than both of them, a huge mass of curls making her appear their height with light brown skin and a wrist covered in macaroni jewelry. And that must be Julie, which means, he looks up to see the parents in front of him - the girl from the Orpheum is her mother and he’s never going to be able to forget that night again.

“Flynn’s parents asked us to take her because they were running late for a dinner reservation they had scheduled months in advance. I hope you don’t mind just us,” the man says with a friendly smile as he reaches his hand out. “I’m Ray Molina and this is my wife, Rose.”

Rose, Trevor thinks as he briefly thinks back on that fateful night. Size beautiful, he can practically see Reggie handing her their band’s t-shirt. He can almost feel Luke leaning his arm against his shoulder and telling her that he’d had a burger for lunch. He didn’t even have to look to know Alex was rolling his eyes at how bad his flirting game was. It was like losing them all over again, only he couldn’t; this was his daughter’s day and he couldn’t wallow in pity. He has to host, so he reaches his trembling hand out and offers the best smile he could offer.

“Hi Ray,” he turns to his wife. “Rose,” he nods and watches as her polite smile fades into a softer one, a genuine one, “I’m Trevor.”

She doesn’t correct him on his name. She doesn’t even look to be affected to be honest, until Trevor leads them inside and she sees some of his awards on the walls. Ray is busy helping to serve the pizza and soda for the girls and it leaves him alone with Rose. She doesn’t mention the award for ‘Now or Never’ new hit single on the Billboard 100 or its being #1 on VH1. Rose doesn’t have to, all she has to do is look at him and Trevor feels himself turning back into the scared kid who showed up at the hospital screaming about his friends. Screaming to the nurses who told him he wasn’t looking for a hospital room, he was looking for the ID numbers of bodies at the morgue. He gives her a slight head shake, as if to plead with her not to bring it up. She nods, but he feels his guilt grow heavier as she leans up to gently smear a line across his name TREVOR WILSON next to the title for up-and-coming artist.

It’s Carrie with her signature giggle and yell that makes them head for the kitchen. “Daddy, can you come sit down! Before we eat we have a surprise!”

They walk in to find Ray sitting amusedly at the dinner table. He beckons them to sit down with him and Trevor can’t help but laugh at the scene in front of him. The girls have obviously gotten into his stage makeup and Carrie, Julie, and Flynn are wearing matching bright red lipstick and glitter on their cheeks. Flynn is sashaying with her boa as Julie holds Carrie’s pink one, and Carrie has her hand on her hip as she strikes a pose before snapping her fingers and triggering the sound system. ‘Barbie Girl’ by Aqua starts blaring in through the speakers and the three adults share a look. Should they turn off the song? It is highly inappropriate. But to do that would mean having to explain why it’s inappropriate and do they really want to ruin a song that as far as their kids are concerned is about Barbie living in her Barbie world?

“Hey!” Carrie yelps and their heads all snap back to the girls pouting at them, “We are trying to give you a concert! Don’t make us waste all of Flynn’s cool moves!”

“Okay okay,” he shakes his head, “Don’t you have more cool moves to show us, Care?”

“No,” his daughter gives him a dead serious face, “we have limited choreography.” She says it with such a puff of dismay and sass that Trevor can’t help but let out the loudest laugh he has in a while. There’s no way Carrie even knows what she’s saying but she must have heard it when he was on the phone with his agent who was arranging his next music video.

The thought pops up before he can squash it, Alex would’ve loved her sass, he would’ve loved to dance with her. But it doesn’t hurt as much, to think of Alex smiling and dancing with glitter everywhere.

It’s not long until Rose and Ray are laughing along too and the three watch the girls spin, twirl, improvise lyrics, and throw their feather boas around long after the pizza has grown cold. - 🌙 (so this is the first bit and each bit shows how I decided to headcanon bobby met the boys in school and remembering them and leads you to rose confronting him and learning about the boys before her death ahhh ok let me know if it’s ok 🙈)

excuse me this is

really good????

more please 😌

[mediaeval-muse]

Book Review

Bride By Mistake. By Anne Gracie. New York: Berkley Sensation, 2012.

Rating: 2/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Devil Riders #5

Summary: Eight years ago, Lieutenant Luke Ripton made a hasty wartime marriage-in-name-only to protect a young girl from a forced union and left her protected in a remote mountain convent. Now, Luke is Lord Ripton, but he has been unable to obtain an annulment. Which leaves him no choice but to claim a wife he doesn't want. For nearly a decade, Isabella has waited like a princess locked in a tower, dreaming of her handsome, dark-haired prince. Her dreams are shattered when Luke reveals himself not as a prince, but an autocratic soldier, expecting her unquestioning obedience, which is something Isabella's fiercely independent nature will not tolerate. And while Luke and Isabella's fiery personalities clash at every turn, they remain bound to their vows, never expecting that the passionate fury they share could become passion of a different kind...

***Full review under the cut.***

Content/Trigger Warnings: attempted sexual assault, violence, sexual content, torture

Overview: When I started reading this book, I had the strangest feeling that I had read it before, but I didn’t remember how the plot went, nor could I find any record of a review, so here it is now. Bride By Mistake had the potential for a great story: a fiercely independent heroine, a journey to rescue an abandoned half-sister, love growing between two people who married to prevent one of them from suffering a worse fate, etc. I think I would have been on board if not for the hero, who I found hard to like. I didn’t feel like he respected our heroine at all, even after he opened up about his past, which made it hard for me to root for the relationship. As a result, this book only gets 2 stars from me.

Writing: Gracie’s writing seems to change between the first thirty or so pages and the rest of the book. The first couple chapters seem to rush through the narrative quickly, dumping a bunch of dialogue and a rushed flashback on the reader to set up the situation before getting to the main plot. Once we get to that point, the writing seems to flow a bit better, giving insight into what characters are thinking and feeling. Granted, it’s not a high literary style - Gracie’s prose is simple, and sometimes has a tendency to be repetitive (there’s a lot of observations of what the heroine’s legs and backside look like in her riding pants, for example, and we’re repeatedly told how Isabella isn’t pretty/not conventionally attractive), but I was able to immerse myself in the story, so I feel like it did the job.

Plot: Aside from the romance, the main plot of this novel takes place a number of years following a war. Our heroine, Isabella, and our hero, Luke, married as strangers during the conflict in order to protect Isabella (an heiress) from being forcibly married to her cousin, Ramon, who was after the family fortune. Because Luke was still a soldier, he left Isabella in a monastery for her own protection. Now, eight years later, Luke has been denied an annulment, and so he has come to Spain to collect his wife and return to England. However, before she leaves, Isabella insists on travelling to her family estate to retrieve her abandoned half-sister, who she fears might have been forced into becoming Ramon’s mistress. Meanwhile, Luke’s PTSD makes him anxious, and he constantly fights with her about returning to England so he can arrive in time for his youngest sister’s first come-out.

In terms of setting up a conflict, I feel like this book had potential. I liked the idea of Isabella doing the right thing by her sister, despite having mixed feelings about the favoritism that her father showed towards his illegitimate daughter. It nicely mirrored the family feelings Luke had towards his own sister, and the two protagonists had some good conversations based on those parallels. However, a lot of the middle of the book felt like an uneventful journey. Sure, the protagonists had personal conflicts, but nothing really built the anticipation for their arrival at the family estate. Instead, we get some silly things, like an inn having fleas and causing a whole debacle. I’m not against light, fluffy things like this, but I would have liked to see Isabella and Luke working together more to come up with a plan in anticipation of their showdown with Ramon.

When they finally do encounter Ramon and Isabella’s sister, Perlita, I found the character interactions to be both interesting and silly. I liked how Perlita and Isabella talked about their childhoods and came to respect one another, as well as how Perlita’s desires were quite different from what Isabella expected. It’s complicated and messy and utterly unsatisfying, but in a way that challenges the reader to think about accepting what other people want, even if it’s not “proper.” That being said, Ramon and Luke’s interactions completely transcended the bounds of reality for me. In one scene, Ramon and Luke threaten to kill one another over Isabella, yet once it’s made clear that Ramon would gain nothing by marrying her, everyone settles down and has lunch. Ramon and Perlita then invite the two to stay overnight, which seems preposterous given that the men almost came to blows and, as far as I could tell, still hated one another.

After they leave the estate, Isabella and Luke visit a family friend, and there, they encounter someone from Luke’s traumatic past. I found this part of the plot rather rushed and somewhat sloppy. Despite the trauma supposedly affecting Luke from the beginning, it felt like the details were dumped on the reader with barely 1/3 of the novel left, and so it felt hollow and inserted for a final bit of action. I wish this part of the plot has been more integral to the story, rather than having it all condensed into a few pages near the end.

I will caution readers that early in the book, we are shown a flashback that details how Luke and Isabella meet, and it involves attempted sexual assault. Luke, who is a soldier returning from an errand, happens to hear a girl screaming, so he goes to investigate. He finds a nameless Spanish soldier attempting to rape Isabella, who is 13 and has been stripped naked. While the soldier isn’t successful and his violence against Isabella isn’t overly graphic, we are subject to some descriptions of Isabella’s body, which, in my opinion, had a tendency to be uncomfortable. Descriptions of how she barely has breasts and no hips just shows me that Luke is taking note of these things, which feels icky. Thus, I wouldn’t recommend this book if you’re sensitive to plots involving attempted sexual assault.

I will also say that this book doesn’t do a very good job regarding representing Spanish and Roma culture. Every description of Spain and Spanish life seemed to be banal, from randomly eating churros to taking a siesta. The richness and complexity of Spanish culture isn’t really explored, which is a shame since Isabella’s Spanish heritage mainly seemed to enhance the idea that Isabella = Spanish = passion, contrasting with the frivolousness of English women and society. On top of that, there is a scene where Isabella and Luke are at a market, and they happen to witness some Roma people singing and dancing. Gracie uses the g-slur, though I don’t think it was used in malice. However, the dance is sensual and erotic, which causes Luke and Isabella to become aroused. It further lent credence to the implication that Spain is a land of passion for Luke, and though Spain is not overly exoticized, I do think implying that it is a world where passion can flourish is rather stereotypical.

Characters: Isabella, our heroine, is fairly likable in that she doesn’t let Luke push her around. She’s headstrong and confident, and on top of that, she has a strong sense of duty to her sister. I admired that about her, and loved seeing moments when she would defy expectations and show that she really is capable of handling things herself. The only things I found mildly irritating was her ridiculous innocence regarding sex and her tendency to be overly emotional. Regarding the former, Isabella has cringey moments such as thinking that sex with a man might be like sex between horses or other animals. I dislike it when virgin heroines are that naive because it’s not very realistic. Regarding her emotion, emotion itself isn’t a bad thing, but it didn’t endear me to her when these moods seemed to be connected to her childishness rather than anything substantive. For example, Isabella dramatically flees the scene and cries when she learns Luke requested an annulment, in part because she had been entertaining childish fantasies that he would sweep her away from the monastery like a knight in shining armor. She also gets extremely upset and yells at Luke for not being happy that she is a virgin, which would have been ok if it were mostly about honor, but the scene also involves a discussion about Isabella’s ignorance about sex and what it entails. It just felt like all her passionate moods were in some way framed as juvenile, and I wasn’t really into it.

Luke, our hero, is hard to like because at best, he’s a gruff ex-soldier who expects obedience from his wife, and at worst, a misogynist. I could have been on board with an ex-soldier who approaches marriage as a commanding officer would, but then learns that the two are very different and a partnership is more fulfilling. Luke, however, doesn’t seem to be open to the idea. At least early on, whenever Isabella would do something, he would think things like “He was going to show her tonight who wore the pants in this marriage.” While he never hit or raped her, the idea that he would “show her who is boss” left a bad taste in my mouth. On top of that, Luke would also think about how he despises certain traits in women. He thinks of Isabella’s friends at the convent as mindless and frivolous, he rejects London women because they are shallow, and says a few times that he can’t stand dishonesty in women because of the one time in his past that a woman hurt him. It was honestly tiring and because it takes so long for him to even begin to reexamine himself, I wasn’t convinced that he had any admirable qualities other than being physically attractive.

Like Luke, our main antagonist, Ramon, is also fairly misogynistic. Though he had more complex motivations than we are initially led to believe (which I appreciated), he did use words like “bitch” and “slut,” which killed much of the interest I had in seeing him as a multifaceted character.

Perlita is much more interesting in that she harbors little malice towards her sister and refuses to be rescued. She emphasizes that her living situation is enough for her and does not want others making decisions on her behalf, even if they would raise her to enjoy a more “proper” life. I liked the relationship that she had with Isabella - the two talk at length about how their father treated them differently and how they feel about each other, and I loved that they came to feel real affection for each others’ well-being.

Romance: I’m just going to say it - I wasn’t a fan of Luke and Isabella’s romance. Luke was way too dominating and didn’t seem to value Isabella at all, and it only seemed like he came to value her once he opened up about his past (and even then, he seemed to value her for what she was able to do to comfort him and keep him on his toes, not as a partner in her own right). Some may chalk it up to his anxiety about being in Spain again, where his worst memories took place, but just because a character has trauma, that doesn’t mean he can be a jerk without consequences. The point where this particularly became a big “nope” for me was when the two first had sex. Isabella and Luke are staying the night at an inn, and they start to get it on, as couples in a romance novel will do. However, when he penetrates her, she screams in pain. Instead of stopping to see what’s wrong, Luke keeps going until he is sated, and then they make a big deal about Isabella’s virginity. This lack of caring for her physical and emotional well-being put me off completely, and I gave up hope of Luke ever truly learning how to see his wife as a partner (rather than a subordinate).

Overall, this book suffers from a lack of suspense and an insufferable hero, and while I did like the heroine and enjoyed the interaction between the sisters, it wasn’t enough to overcome the lackluster narrative progression and rapey vibes from Luke’s POV.

[kyriolex]

I hate the Anai arc

As a person with clinical anxiety myself, I related to Anai a lot at first. I have been the person sweating bullets as they try to answer the phone. I have been the person who interpreted mild criticism as a personal attack and demanded an apology through email (to be fair, my family situation was shit at the time, so passive aggressive insults were a regular part of my life).

But he lost all sympathy at the warehouse scene. That’s when I realized he wasn’t a scared misunderstood newbie, but rather a misogynistic bully. Yes really.

By the warehouse confrontation, Anai had been sending Retsuko aggressive and belittling text messages for multiple days. The show made it clear how deliberate he was at acting cheery around others and saving his hostility for times when no one else could see. Finally he corners her in a warehouse and screams at her for not meeting his apology deadline while she’s literally cowering and crying by the shelf. 

He goads her into muttering “It’s not my fault you can’t even use the phone”. Then he misrepresents that moment of weakness as evidence of bullying to her boss, trying to sully her reputation and get her in trouble at work. All for the “crime” of refusing to soothe his wounded ego.

That isn’t anxious, impulsive lashing out. That is a calculated gaslighting campaign. Yes, Anai clearly has anxiety as well, but newsflash: you can have mental health issues and still be a bully. 

Anai doesn’t attack his male coworkers this way. Yes, he sends strongly worded texts to Haida and Ton as well, but he doesn’t harass them the way he does Retsuko. He doesn’t corner them in isolated areas and scream at them from the shadows. They’re both bigger than he is - that kind of intimidation wouldn’t work.

That’s not the only sign Anai has issues with women. When Retsuko, Tsunoda, or another female boss tries to assign him work, he glares at them or accuses them of sabotaging him with overwork. When Haida assigns him the very same workload that Retsuko tried to hand over, Anai cheerfully accepts the assignment. 

When Anai and Retsuko are both assigned by their boss to work on the festival booth, Anai refuses to do his assigned half of the work. When Haida confronts him about it, Anai says that these domestic chores are beneath him. Apparently he doesn’t think they are beneath his female manager though. 

Anai’s mood only seems to improve when Kabae comes over and starts showering him with compliments. The show treats this as a breakthrough - a sign that if only Retsuko had done enough emotional labor, she too could have gotten Anai to accept her mentoring. Surely, if Retsuko had acted motherly enough and smiled more, Anai wouldn’t have targeted her for cyberstalking. 

I call B.S. on this victim-blaming message. All too often I read stories of grown-ass men who behave like toddlers, only for people to excuse it because “he has strong emotions” or “he was bullied as a child”. It should not be the responsibility of the women around them to become their therapists. 

tl;dr: Yes, mental health issues can cause people to be overly defensive, but it was Anai’s bad character that caused him to unleash that anger through harassment rather than, say, venting into a karaoke machine.

[madeofflint]

List of Negative Character Traits image

A:  ABUSIVE, accident-prone, addicted, afraid to take risks, affected, affected by peer pressure, AFRAID OF CHANGE, aggressive, ALOOF, annoying, anti-social, anxious, ARGUMENTATIVE, ARROGANT, artless, ATTENTION SEEKER, authoritarian, AVARICIOUS, AWKWARD

 B: BACKSTABBING, badgering, BARKS ORDERS, base, BELLIGERENT, BELITTLING, BLAMES EVERYONE ELSE, BORING, BOSSY, bovine, brags, brutal, bully, bumbling

 C: CALLOUS, catty, caustic, chauvinistic, cheap, cheats, cheerless, childish, clumsy, COCKY, cold, cold-hearted,COMBATIVE, COMPETITIVE, COMPLACENT, complainer, CONCEITED, confrontational, confused, CONNIVING, controlling, corrects others constantly, CORRUPT, COVETOUS, coward, CRITICAL, cruel, cynic

 D:  DECEITFUL, defeating, delusional, demanding, denial, deranged, destructive, directed by externals, directionless, disagreeable, discourteous, DISHONEST, disorganized, disrespectful, dissatisfied, distant, does everything by the book, does what is convenient, doesn’t listen, doesn’t think things through, dogmatic, DOMINATING, domineering, doubtful, dour, downer, draconian, drags people down, DRAMA QUEEN, drinker, drugs, dull, dysfunctional

 E: easily aggravated, easily fooled, easily offended, easily threatened, egoist, embarrassing, emotionless, ENVIOUS, erratic, evasive, exacting, EXCESSIVE, exhibitionistic, extravagant

 F: FACETIOUS, faded, false, false bravado, fanatical, fawning, fearful, FEELS SUPERIOR TO OTHERS, fickle, fidgety, finicky, finishes sentences for others, flippant, follower, foolish, forgetful, frantic, fraudulent, furtive, fussy

 G: gives up easily, GLARES OFTEN, GLIB, gold-digging, goody-goody, GOSSIPER, GREEDY, grim, GRUMPY, guarded, gullible

 H: harasses, hard, harsh, hateful, heartless, HIGH-HANDED, hogs spotlight, holier-than-thou, hostile, hot-tempered, humorous, hyper

 I: ignorant, ill-behaved, ill-bred, ill-will, immature, immodest, impatient, imperious, impolite, impractical, IMPULSIVE, inactive, inarticulate, inconsiderate, inconsistent, indecisive, INDIFFERENT, indulgent, inefficient, infantile, inflexible, inhibited, insane, insecure, insensitive, insincere, inspires guilt, INTERRUPTS, irresponsible, intimidator, intolerant, irritable, isolated

 J: jealous, jittery, JUDGMENTAL

 K: kept-back, killjoy, KNOW-IT-ALL

 L: lacking conscience, lack of effort, lack of self-confidence, lack of stamina, lazy, LIAR, life stinks attitude, lonely, low energy, lordly, LOUD, low drive, low self-esteem

 M: macho, mad, makes fun of people, makes others uneasy, malicious, MANIPULATIVE, martyr attitude, materialistic, mean, meek, melodramatic, merciless, messianic, messy, misanthropic, miserable, miserly, mistrusting, monosyllabic, MOODY, mopey, MORBID, misogynistic

 N: nagging, naïve, NARCISSISTIC, narrow-minded, NAUGHTY, needling, negative, negligent, never happy unless miserable, non engaging, noisy, nosy

 O: oblivious, obnoxious, one-dimensional, OPINIONATED, ostentatious, outrageous, OUTSPOKEN, overbearing, overly emotional/excitable, overly flirtatious, overly polite, overly proper, overly sensitive, overly serious, overwrought

 P: panicky, paranoid, passive, pathetic, pessimist, PETTY, petulant, phony, pigheaded, pitiful, PLOTTING, POMPOUS, poor judgment, posturing, POWER-HUNGRY, predatory, predictable, prejudiced, pretentious, prim, prissy, procrastinate, promiscuous, PROUD, prudish, puritanical

 Q: quarrelsome, quixotic, quitter, quick tempered

 R: radical, random, rash, rebellious, recalcitrant, reckless, rejects change, reluctant, remote, repressed, repulsive, reserved, rigid, rude, ruled by peer pressure, rules with an iron fist, ruthless

 S: sanctimonious, SARCASTIC, SARDONIC, scathing, scatterbrained, schemer, scornful, sadistic, second-guessing, secretive, sees bad in everything, SELF-CENTERED, self-conscious, SELFISH, self-righteous, SELF-SATISFIED, SELF-SERVING, severe, sexist, shallow, shameless, SHIFTY, short-sighted, SHOW OFF, shy, short-fused, slanderer, sloppy, slovenly, small goals, SMUG, sneaky, snobby, social approval required, sociopathic, soft, somber, sophomoric behavior, speaks in monotone, spendthrift, SPITEFUL, squeamish, static, stalker, starchy, stick-in-the-mud, stingy, stoic, stony-faced, stubborn, stuck up, sullen, suspicious, SWAGGERING

 T:  taciturn, tacky, taker, take over, talker, talks over people, tattletale, temper, temperamental, terse, thinks everyone is stupid, thin-skinned, thoughtless, timid, tiresome, touchy, trivial, TROUBLED, two-faced, typical

 U: unable to relax, unappreciative, uncaring, uncompassionate, uncommitted, uncommunicative, uncooperative, uncouth, uncreative, undemonstrative, undependable, undisciplined, UNETHICAL, unexpressive, unfeeling, unfocused, unforgiving, unfriendly, ungrateful, unhappy, unhelpful, unkempt, unimaginative, unmotivated, UNDERHANDED, unorganized, unpolished, unprincipled, unproductive, unrealistic, unreceptive, unreliable, unresourceful, unresponsive, unrestrained, unruly, unscrupulous, unsmiling, unsophisticated, unsure, unsympathetic, uptight, untrustworthy, user

 V: vacant, vague, VAIN, vengeful, venomous, VINDICTIVE, violent, visionless, volatile, VULGAR, vicious

 W: wary, wasteful, weak, wears drab clothes, weird, weary, wet blanket, whimsical, whines, WILLFUL, wily, WISE-ASSED, wishy-washy,  womanizing, worrier, wretched

 X: N/A

 Y: yellow-bellied

  Z:  zealot

Tagged by: @shackledspectre​

Tagging: Anyone who wants to

[shackledspectre]

List of Negative Character Traits

A: abusive, accident-prone, addicted, afraid to take risks, affected, affected by peer pressure, afraid of change, aggressive, aloof, annoying, anti-social, anxious, ARGUMENTATIVE, ARROGANT, artless, ATTENTION SEEKER, authoritarian, avaricious, awkward

B: backstabbing, badgering, barks orders, base, belligerent, belittling, BLAMES EVERYONE ELSE, boring, BOSSY, bovine, BRAGS, brutal, bully, bumbling

C: callous, catty, caustic, chauvinistic, cheap, cheats, cheerless, childish, clumsy, COCKY, cold, cold-hearted, combative, COMPETITIVE, COMPLACENT, complainer, CONCEITED, confrontational, confused, CONNIVING, controlling, corrects others constantly, CORRUPT, COVETOUS, coward, CRITICAL, cruel, cynic

D:  DECEITFUL, defeating, delusional, demanding, denial, deranged, destructive, directed by externals, directionless, disagreeable, discourteous, DISHONEST, disorganized, disrespectful, dissatisfied, distant, does everything by the book, does what is convenient, doesn’t listen, doesn’t think things through, dogmatic, DOMINATING, domineering, doubtful, dour, downer, draconian, drags people down, DRAMA QUEEN, drinker, drugs, dull, dysfunctional

E: easily aggravated, easily fooled, easily offended, easily threatened, egoist, embarrassing, emotionless, ENVIOUS, erratic, evasive, exacting, EXCESSIVE, exhibitionistic, extravagant

F: FACETIOUS, faded, false, false bravado, fanatical, fawning, fearful, FEELS SUPERIOR TO OTHERS, fickle, fidgety, finicky, finishes sentences for others, flippant, follower, foolish, forgetful, frantic, fraudulent, furtive, fussy

G: gives up easily, GLARES OFTEN, GLIB, gold-digging, goody-goody, GOSSIPER, GREEDY, grim, GRUMPY, guarded, gullible

H: harasses, hard, harsh, hateful, heartless, HIGH-HANDED, hogs spotlight, holier-than-thou, hostile, hot-tempered, HUMOROUS, hyper

I: ignorant, ill-behaved, ill-bred, ill-will, immature, immodest, impatient, imperious, impolite, impractical, IMPULSIVE, inactive, inarticulate, inconsiderate, inconsistent, indecisive, INDIFFERENT, indulgent, inefficient, infantile, inflexible, inhibited, insane, insecure, insensitive, insincere, inspires guilt, INTERRUPTS, irresponsible, intimidator, intolerant, irritable, isolated

J: jealous, jittery, JUDGMENTAL

K: kept-back, killjoy, KNOW-IT-ALL

L: lacking conscience, lack of effort, lack of self-confidence, lack of stamina, lazy, LIAR, life stinks attitude, lonely, low energy, lordly, LOUD, low drive, low self-esteem

M: macho, mad, makes fun of people, makes others uneasy, malicious, MANIPULATIVE, martyr attitude, MATERIALISTIC, mean, meek, melodramatic, merciless, messianic, messy, misanthropic, miserable, miserly, mistrusting, monosyllabic, MOODY, mopey, MORBID, misogynistic

N: nagging, naïve, NARCISSISTIC, narrow-minded, NAUGHTY, needling, negative, negligent, never happy unless miserable, non engaging, noisy, NOSY

O: oblivious, obnoxious, one-dimensional, OPINIONATED, ostentatious, outrageous, OUTSPOKEN, overbearing, overly emotional/excitable, overly flirtatious, overly polite, overly proper, overly sensitive, overly serious, overwrought

P: panicky, paranoid, passive, pathetic, pessimist, PETTY, petulant, phony, pigheaded, pitiful, PLOTTING, POMPOUS, poor judgment, posturing, POWER-HUNGRY, predatory, predictable, prejudiced, pretentious, prim, prissy, procrastinate, PROMISCUOUS, PROUD, prudish, puritanical

Q: quarrelsome, quixotic, quitter, quick tempered

R: radical, random, rash, REBELLIOUS, recalcitrant, reckless, rejects change, reluctant, remote, repressed, repulsive, reserved, rigid, rude, ruled by peer pressure, rules with an iron fist, ruthless

S: sanctimonious, SARCASTIC, SARDONIC, scathing, scatterbrained, schemer, scornful, sadistic, second-guessing, secretive, sees bad in everything, SELF-CENTERED, self-conscious, SELFISH, self-righteous, SELF-SATISFIED, SELF-SERVING, severe, sexist, shallow, shameless, SHIFTY, short-sighted, SHOW OFF, shy, short-fused, slanderer, sloppy, slovenly, small goals, SMUG, sneaky, snobby, social approval required, sociopathic, soft, somber, sophomoric behavior, speaks in monotone, spendthrift, SPITEFUL, squeamish, static, stalker, starchy, stick-in-the-mud, stingy, stoic, stony-faced, stubborn, stuck up, sullen, suspicious, SWAGGERING

T:  taciturn, tacky, taker, take over, TALKER, talks over people, tattletale, temper, temperamental, terse, thinks everyone is stupid, thin-skinned, thoughtless, timid, tiresome, touchy, trivial, TROUBLED, two-faced, typical

U: unable to relax, unappreciative, uncaring, uncompassionate, uncommitted, uncommunicative, uncooperative, uncouth, uncreative, undemonstrative, undependable, undisciplined, UNETHICAL, unexpressive, unfeeling, unfocused, unforgiving, unfriendly, ungrateful, unhappy, unhelpful, unkempt, unimaginative, unmotivated, UNDERHANDED, unorganized, unpolished, unprincipled, unproductive, unrealistic, unreceptive, unreliable, unresourceful, unresponsive, unrestrained, unruly, unscrupulous, unsmiling, unsophisticated, unsure, unsympathetic, uptight, untrustworthy, user

V: vacant, vague, VAIN, vengeful, venomous, VINDICTIVE, violent, visionless, volatile, VULGAR, vicious

W: wary, wasteful, weak, wears drab clothes, weird, weary, wet blanket, WHIMSICAL, whines, WILLFUL, wily, WISE-ASSED, wishy-washy,  womanizing, worrier, wretched

X: N/A

Y: yellow-bellied

Z:  zealot

Tagged By: Taken from an old blog Tagging: Tagging @madeofflint​ specifically but whoever wants to do it go right ahead

[hagaard]

remember when I wrote "My next post will be a writing prompt"? well. lies. it's not done yet 'cuz it's exam period right now, so I essentially have no time for this. instead, I'm going to do something that I have wanted to do for a long time: screaming into the void. I never had a place to scream into the void before, but now I do. I should have started doing this a long time ago... anyways, if you want to read my two cents on the current state of the brony fandom and how I feel about it, then it's under the cut. and if you don't... you're probably right. after all, this is self-indulgent.

So I've been sucked into MLP a few years ago, in the French equivalent of high school. I can't remember when exactly, but I do remember that I was suffering from pretty severe depression. When I discovered the show, which was on a vacation day, I binged the first season in an afternoon, and followed with the second the very next day. It was... different. Refreshing. Bright. Colorful. Happy. I felt like I had found something that I was missing. And I loved it.

I started searching for content online. I found forums, websites, fiction repositories... all in French, since I hadn't learnt English at the time. But the content was... disappointing? Not what I was looking for. The big forum I joined was very toxic. I still have an account there, but I never visit. The fiction repository was better, but still had its fair share of drama. I wasn't satisfied. The bulk of the content was locked behind a language barrier.

I tore it down in a few months. A few months is all it took me to go from "hello-how-are-you-goodbye" to a good enough level that I was able to understand most of what I was reading. Not everything, of course. But enough. And from there, I would only go up. That's so emotionally invested I was; and, despite this, I could never talk about all of this to anyone. I was constantly looking for new content, but I was so anxious about myself and talking about what I liked that I never really got to talking to the content creators I was adoring. I never talked to anyone about the happiness they filled my life with. I was having suicidal thoughts, but here they were, with their beautiful stories about pastel horses doing stuff. It kept me alive, and I never thanked them. I didn't talk to my own therapist about this, and yet I could have trusted this man with my life! That's how anxious I was talking about my hobbies.

During all this time, I was vaguely aware of the controversies about the fandom. To outsiders, we were a joke. A black sheep, to point at and laugh at. And I don't know how to feel about this, because now, I feel... they can be right. I'd like to say we generally have a safe and welcoming community. I'd love to say that everyone in the MLP fandom is nice and kind. But I feel like I can't say this. There is an uncomfortable number of alt-right sympathizers (read: fascists) that proudly wear MLP badges and such. There are an uncomfortable number of misogynistic assholes within the community. The fandom often gets angry over little nothings. I have met a number of homophobic, transphobic people within the community. I feel like Hasbro is uncomfortable of our very existence because of this.

I still remember that one guy in one of the forums I was visiting, that had as a signature (roughly translated): < "Lesbian ponies" is lunacy, and the worst idea the fandom ever came up with. > I didn't understand why this made me so uncomfortable while younger. Now I know why. It's the idea that lesbian cartoon ponies, homosexual fictional characters, should be treated as fucking jokes, that made me uncomfortable. This guy had no issues shipping a mare with a stallion. At the exact moment it was two mares together (and considering the very balanced cast of 90% mares, which I'm not complaining about by the way, the target is supposed to be girls), it was a joke. It wasn't serious. It was lunacy. This guy couldn't understand w/w pairings as anything else than a joke.

Holy shit.

Also. Adult content! I would usually argue against talking about the adult part of any fandom, 'cuz they're generally a more niche thing? I think? But when half of the featured box in your biggest fanfiction repository, fimfiction.net, is smut fiction, I'd also argue it's a part significant enough that you'll want to talk about it, so here we are. MLP adult content is like any content. There is the better part, which is... cute ponies having fun and it's also hot. And that may be just my perception, but I feel like that's not what the bulk of the content is. We get a lot more of... general sexism, rape, gore, exaggeration, "extreme" content. And y'know, if porn is your thing and you're able to dissociate the reality from what you watch, then go nuts or something. But as the audience gets younger (we used to get a lot of 40s in the fandom, now most who join are 15 or whatever), you'll also expose people that don't have the tools to deal with this stuff and will confuse it with reality. And I really think we as a fandom don't generally put up enough content warnings for that. Not nearly enough. (also. foalcon. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HAIRY. STOP DOING THAT.)

A whole lot of other shit, too! Weird ships that are both popular and potentially abusive! I used to ship Twilestia, aka a student and her mentor/motherly figure, which is NOT FINE! unless you screw with the canon to change a lot of things in their relationships. Don't get me started on Lunestia, they are SISTERS STOP DOING THIS INTERNET! Outside of shipping wars, now, there was that debate on one featured fic about whether making a joke about transgender people being traps and transwomen being disgusting was fun: it was a terrible joke, stop calling out others for being "overly sensitive". Fallout: Equestria, the crossover that literally split the fandom in half! That is not a joke. And what would be a good fandom without its edgy fiction where the entire country gets brainwashed, the women are now all slaves, the men are now all phallocentred assholes that spend their free time thing about sex or raping every woman they see? I'll tell you what it would be: A MUCH BETTER FANDOM. This story is literally "what if I narrated a game of FATAL"? And it's awful, of course, but also, absolutely exhausting.

So I stopped seeking MLP-related content. I was so focused on the negatives, at some point, I couldn't take it anymore. I took a pause. I stopped checking for updates on stories I was following, stopped making searches. Despite this, I was still reading stuff about other things. There sometimes was a joke about how bronies were all ugly fat kissless virgins, and it always hurt me to read it, because I knew it was a lie. But sometimes, I believed it. I never really got a chance to talk to anyone about this.

I'm glad I can now. I should have created my own little corner to scream into the void a long time ago. I should be able to talk about my interests, rather than reading what others think about them. Everybody should relieve themselves of the pressure sometimes. Can you believe I never once did that? I used to had a blog somewhere else, but the platform was and still is absolute garbage.

welp, here ends the rant. better post this on my tumblr too until I chicken out like I did with that infodump about that one game nobody cares about.

[mamamanguito]

so i have this friend that i really like and appreciate, but sometimes I just feel like it's not mutual. Like they don't like me all that much, that they think I'm dumb because can never tell when I'm joking and just assume that I'm serious about stupid shit I say. It could be that I'm just overly sensitive and anxious and I'm reading too much into it, but still, it makes a little noise in my head every time it happens.

He's trans, still haven't transitioned, and idk if it's because of that, but sometimes he's also a little bit misogynistic... just saying really old fashioned stuff about women. And like, i get that he isn't a woman, but he grew up being treated as one, and overall it makes me feel baffled when he says stuff that clearly show an aversion to anything barely femenine (i get that he doesn't relate to the experience but being viewed by others as such wouldn't make him realize when he's falling into the same kind of micro misogynistic acts that he has to have experienced in his youth?) It makes me a little uncomfortable sometimes. Like dude, what even. Why do you see it bad that some women like to do their nails and that they have boobs???

And also, he kind of is a one more than you type of person. Like, I'll say something about idk, knowing about a topic, and he'll go like "ah yeah, but i know more about it so my opinion is obviously the correct one" and yeah. It makes me feel icky.

And i know i just said a lot of negative things about him, but i really love him and he's not like that most of the time. It's just that sometimes something like that will happen and I can't help but feel weird about it. I don't know if should bring any of this up at some point and discuss it. I'm kind of really fucking scared of confrontation and conflict so i would rather not, but... yeah. Maybe i should say something next time something like that occurs.

[onisionhurtspeople]

hey!! just found this blog and saw you sayin some negative stuff about Lainey; I wanted to know if she was a bad person like Onion boy?? If you could link me to posts or something talking about whatever it is that she did i would appreciate it!!

Well, hmm. There’s a lot of controversy that surrounds Lainey, but it’s a little bit less straightforward than the controversy that surrounds Onision. In his case, he is being judged by his actions, the things he says and does in his videos, on Twitter, to other people (his fans and other content creators), and especially the things that he does in his personal life to his friends and romantic partners; but in her case, most of the drama that revolves around Lainey stems not from her actions, but from her lack of actions, and how conspicuously silent she is in the face of her husband’s negativity, bullying, harassment, belittling, insulting, and manipulation of others, especially of the teenage girls and minorities that she claims to stand up in defense of and care so much about. The general consensus is that although she is undeniably a victim too, she is also fundamentally complicit due to the fact that she never says or does anything to indicate that she does not support his actions, and many people get the impression from her behavior that as long as it’s not happening to her, then she doesn’t really care much - and I tend to agree with them. Just for one example: Lainey goes absolutely bonkers and gets super aggressive when people purposely or accidentally don’t refer to her as “they/them”, yet she says absolutely nothing when Greg puts out his 7th video “coming out” as transgender/biromantic/gynesexual/whatever gender or sexual orientation he’s pretending to be for views that week. They both claim to be advocates on behalf of feminism and the LGBTQ+ community, yet Onision continually mocks and even openly insults women and trans people, and Lainey says nothing. Unless it’s somebody else saying those things to her, at which point it becomes a problem and suddenly she’s going on self-righteous Twitter rants about transphobia and misogyny, and Greg is insulting them and telling them that they’re being a transphobic, misogynistic bigot for saying something that hurt Lainey’s feelings. (The lack of self-awareness is astounding to me, these people should be a case study for cognitive dissonance.) Lainey’s empathy seems to be very selective and is mostly reserved for herself or people that she can personally relate to. To my understanding, she also indulges in thinspo blogging, even while her husband continually harasses Eugenia Cooney and accuses her of influencing her fans to become anorexic - all the while, his own wife is reblogging photosets of anorexic women and adding pictures of herself to the thinspo tag on Tumblr.

Despite Lainey’s ~smol sensitive agender emo space prince~ persona, and aside from her positive traits (of which I genuinely believe there are many, which I have outlined in posts before), I tend to find that Lainey as an individual is an overly sensitive, self-absorbed, passive-aggressive, highly immature baby who lives in a bubble of perpetual self-victimhood. And in no way is this meant to minimize or undermine the deleterious effect that I’m sure Onision has had on her self-esteem, her confidence, her personal growth, and her very identity, but I also think that Lainey sees herself as a helpless victim who is at the mercy of a cruel, sadistic, and unkind world, largely because there is a not insignificant part of her that actually enjoys victimizing herself. There is a part of her that genuinely gets something out of being a suffering victim - I think it’s actually a part of her identity at this point, and she wouldn’t know what kind of person she was or how to see herself if she wasn’t constantly in pain for one reason or another. (My boyfriend is one of these people too, and it’s maddening. He goes through extended cycles of sabotaging himself and driving everybody he loves away from him, only to then hit the panic button and stew in the resultant depression, loneliness, and self-loathing that comes along with his actions. Because then not only does he get to suffer as a result, but he’s also then just given himself a legitimate reason to hate himself for hurting the people that he loves. It drives me insane. I see much of his behavior reflected in Lainey’s actions, and Greg has openly admitted that he actually likes that she’s so weak and incapable of defending herself, because it forces her to rely on him for “strength”, which makes him feel powerful and gives him total control over her. Ironically, this entire process actually makes people like Lainey more anxious and more depressed, as they slowly lose more and more control over their lives and their ability to cope with their own existence. I also think this toxic cycle is part of the reason why she’s so thin nowadays - she’s lost so much control over her life that she’s exercising her control in the only way that she’s allowed to: over her own body. But this is a different topic that I think deserves a post of its own, so I’ll discuss it another time.)

The other thing is that not only is Lainey passively complicit in Onision’s actions by refusing to speak out against him, but in many aspects, she is also actively complicit in his abuse too. One of most valid complaints that people have about Lainey is that she allows Greg to leverage her position as a bisexual woman in the LGBTQ+ community in order to queerbait other girls into a relationship with them under the guise of a polyamorous “trinity” in which all three of them are equal partners in the relationship. These girls are usually younger than Lainey and always younger than Greg (typically anywhere from 17 to 21), tend to be the kind of girls that are naive, sensitive, impressionable, and open-minded (just like Lainey is), are usually fans of Onision (and are often harvested directly from his fan base), and are almost always completely inexperienced when it comes to relationships, especially when it comes to the kind of constant and very specific care and attention that is required in order to maintain a healthy polyamorous relationship in which everybody feels happy, respected, taken care of, and an equal participant in the trinity. And so for this reason, many people view Lainey as just as much a predator as Greg himself is, and rightfully so. Greg literally uses Lainey as bait in order to draw in younger, pretty girls who are open to experimentation, in a way that seems less objectively creepy on the outside, because hey, that 17-year-old girl is actually dating Lainey, not him! That’s not creepy at all, there’s only a five-year age gap there. There’s not that much of a difference between 17 and 22, you know! Back in the day, it was totally normal to get married and have children by the age of 15, and besides, 17 is perfectly legal in her state and it’s not illegal and you’re just close-minded and oops now all three of us are dating (totally by accident, of course) and if you judge us then you’re just being an ignorant judgmental bigot. Lainey is only there to lend legitimacy to Greg’s predatory search for younger girls, because he knows that it would be perceived as creepy and inappropriate if he were to be actively recruiting 17-year-olds from his fanbase on his own. (And then he convinces Lainey that he’s doing it for her, so that she can experiment with her bisexuality - but she knows better at this point because she’s seen with her own eyes that he can’t be trusted around “her” girlfriends; she actually admitted last January that she knew Greg was only pushing her to date other girls because he would get something out of it too, and not because he actually wanted her to experiment. So she knows this, and still she goes along with it - because, like Greg, she gets something out of it too.) 

This post got waaay too long. Sorry, I’m high af. Anyway, there are a few other reasons why people criticize Lainey too, but I can’t remember them all and I’ve already written way too much on this topic, so instead allow me to direct you towards a few other resources that may have what you’re looking for. Here’s the Laineybot tag on the omeansion blog, and here is my Laineybot tag. I can’t promise you’ll find what you’re looking for on there, but you might get a better idea of the reasons why people hold Lainey culpable just as much as they do Greg. 

[tamiddyinyourcity]

I found the word to describe the type of person I hate:

One where it feels like I'm talking to myself.

If I get dolled up, put my best foot forward, and am sparkling and feeling dazzling as fuck....

Why be around a man who wont talk about anything but himself?

Especially if its not some sort of CEO or fancy rich person that I'm aiming to passively impress/let talk, and its just someone my own damn age.

I felt so glad when I stopped hanging around people like that.

Nothing increases suicidal urges more than "I came all the way out here and they arent asking shit about me or putting in an effort, do i even matter to this person?"

Glad I set YP straight.

He didnt understand it, but he doesnt understand a lot of things.

Like how yes, your ex girlfriend is going to move on, if you ignore her messages, and also plow other women with no discussion of where things will go from there.

And yes, she will 100% cut you off and call you out on your shit if it means she can feel fully connected to the next person she's with.

.....

I was shocked at how well I moved on. It got easier since me and BP improved conservationally, honestly, sexually, and started doing more things together.

Put all my focus on the new, and it worked out well.

And now its just doing that again.

Since most of my relationships always reveal what I actually needed next, when i stumble upon someone new.

"Oh no, how will I ever get over Matty?", I said, before stumbling across Green Eyed Zack #2 and realizing that the entire dynamic with Matty was him love bombing me, and him being obsessive within having less than two dates....

"How will I ever get over Zack? He was so gorgeous"..... (I think the resolution isnt clear, since it got solved either with Bitch Ass Scotty, lots of sex with terrible men, or what.)

But I moved on eventually and realized, "He was a terrible communicator with no intention to respect me, or take our relationship seriously, in any way."

"How will I get over Fine Ass Adrian?", I said, before realizing he was just a horndog and was also an avoidant attachment type.

"How will I get over Ethan?" By realizing he was ugly, a little misogynistic, and overall up until meeting me, had very good reasons for staying a virgin, since he was disgusting, unappealing, and never bothered to seem remotely likeable to anybody. (Jesus, he had so much nerve...... He was 18 but looked 36, his genetics were terrible for him.)

"How will I ever get over Calvin?", by realizing Calvin was too anxious, overly sensitive, and would never actually commit or be his own individual person.... Nothing annoys me worse than someone that focuses on what they THINK I want them to be like, instead of..... just being unafraid to be themselves. (Why would I want a pussy ass liar? I wanted dick, he claimed he wanted to date.... no one won there.)

"How will I get over YellowHaired Patrick?", by realizing he would never commit, was leading you on, and never put in an effort. He was still a great relationship, but theres a limit on how many chances of "I'd toootally be monogamous with you, and seriously date you, i swear, buuuuuut"...... incidents, one can hear from a guy.

And of course, present day.

"How are you gonna get over the most recent ex?"

Realizing it was probably going in an unhealthy direction due to several factors. The spitting incident + his oddly insecure best friend = two moments of "alright, i dont think i mean as much to this person then"

The situation not getting resolved lead to blocking and some preeeeetty verbally hostile spewings online, and well, thats that.

If a situation wasnt getting resolved, then well, it most likely never would have, and leaving was the only way I could feel comfortable about the person I like deciding I wasnt really worth the effort.

And if me and his closest friend couldn't give eachother the benefit of the doubt, without butting heads from a distance, it would have just affected my trust in him, aaaaand.... yeah, inherently stupid people getting in the way annoy me. And i wouldnt want to let it get to me, or affect me, or the person I date....

It was just better, I guess.

He's okay, just, that situation was kinda gonna lead to a risky path.

I hope everything turns out well for him, its a little disheartening but nothing I can do about it. A lot went down the drain; hanging with his family during the christmas holiday, meeting his bro, hanging out on his birthday with his other friends hella chill.

Agh.

But, it was for the best, and i gotta just let things be.

Anywho.... I gotta like, shower, and feel better about life at this current point in time.

I know damn well that not a single person on Earth is laying in bed waiting for life to pass them by other me, so I better go spite the fuck out of them by doing the same.

Thats all.

Peace out my loves. Have a chill day, hope that everything goes well. laters. :)