#this has happened several times in the past MONTH
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teaboot · 3 days ago
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TOP 10 PERSONAL FAVE MOVIES TO WATCH WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE ASS
I don't like movies that stress me out because life is already stressful but I DO love catharsis comedy found family friendship fantasy and violence so here are my top 10 movies and series to have a good time watching
Numbered for convenience but not in any particular order
John Wick 1 and 2: An ordinary man grieving the loss of his wife gets dragged back into his past as a shadowy, invisible world of international killers for hire is slowly revealed to be living among us. A love note to set design, lighting, and choreography. My favourite part is fixating on the symbolism. DO NOT WATCH 3. 4 is okay. DO NOT WATCH 3. There is a dog death in 1 that will make you cry so skip that part if you have to. DO NOT WATCH 3.
The lord of the Rings, all 3, extended edition best watched if you're on the couch with the flu and expect to fall asleep OR if it's your day off and it's raining outside OR if you have like 5 people lounging around in pajamas
Six Underground: Essentially an hour and a half long car commercial music video with found family and a fresher take on acommon plot. Ryan Reynolds essentially writes and directs a Michael Bay movie where 6 independant criminals gather together to overthrow a violent foreign dictatorship. You show up for a dumb heist and walk out ready to build a guillotine. TW for violence, car crashes, chemical warfare, and genocide. A very cathartic ending. Does unfortunately do the whole "vague, impoverished middle-eastern country" thing but the citizens are actually show as human beings which is a nice change of pace and oh wow that's depressing isn't it
The Princess Diaries 1 and 2: A sort-of-a-loser teenage girl, played by a 2001 Annie Hathaway, learns that her late father was a king of a foreign nation and must become a confident and responsible leader for his people. There is a scene in the rain where you will experience emotions. Best watched with snacks. 2 features an enemies-to-lovers type deal with Chris Pine.
Ella Enchanted: A shrek-style semi-musical fantasy romance in which a young woman is cursed at birth to do everything anyone tells her to do. Features several Queen songs and dance numbers sung by Annie Hathaway and that guy who plays the sad dog guy in Hannibal.
Stardust: A huge loser travels from 1800s England (?) to a magical world in order to fetch a fallen star for the insufferable love of his life before she marries a massive douchebag. The huge loser? Charlie Cox. The star? A living person. Also a whole bunch of princes are ALSO looking for them as a race for the throne while discreetly killing each other off. And also a bunch of witches want to eat her so they can be young and sexy. 11/10. I used to watch this 10 minutes at a time on a YouTube channel that posted it in chunks filmed on a digital camera in their living room
The Last Holiday: Queen Latifah, playing someone played by Queen Latifah, has been working an underappreciated minimum wage job for years, living a safe and conservative life trying to lose weight and save money. Then she finds out she has months to live, and decides to finally quit her job and blow it all on one massive luxury holiday vacation complete with five-star dining, making friends and finding love and confidence along the way. It's definitely corny but it makes me so happy thank you Queen Latifah
Zathura: It's the plot to the original Jumanji but in space instead of the rainforest. But listen to me: There's a twist reveal at the end that you need to pretend isn't there. It is vitally important when you get to that part- and you will know what part when it happens- that you pretend it didn't. Otherwise, a fresh and enjoyable adventure for any age!
Redacted cause I haven't seen it in a long time and it may be worse than I remember, gotta rewatch
Bullet Train. You go in expecting a ham-fisted find-the-mcguffin style action comedy and are blindsided by excellent narrative symmetry and genuinely likeable characters. Fresh takes on old themes and creative action sequences. My little brother said "It's good", and he's a man who once sincerely argued that Lord of the Rings could have been better. It's fun and punchy violence with just enough smart stuff to not let your brain get bored
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mintmatcha · 3 days ago
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I am so soft for father figure Shinsou, thank you for giving me something I didn’t know I needed. Just doing everyday things with him and him being soft towards you child is giving me life.
Casual. That's the word you used to describe what the meeting should be. Casual.
"He's a good boy, for the most part." Your bag is already stuffed full of toys and towels and other miscellaneous things that Shinso can't imagine you'll need. "His dad spoils him, so he might be a little bratty at first- we're working on it. Well, I'm working on it. His dad is--"
You kneel down and start rummaging through your things.
"Uh, don't let him guilt you into buying him snacks, please. He's got a severe nut and seed allergy and it's just easier if I take care of it all. There's snacks in here, along with two epipens. There's two more in the red cabinet in the kitchen, just in case we ever need them. "
Somehow, you manage to wiggle out the sunscreen for your bag without collapsing the whole pile. You dollop a bit on your fingers.
"Once they get here, we'll go straight to the park and hang out there for just a little bit. The book says the first meeting should be short and we should give him other things to focus out so he doesn't stress out." Your shoulders are bunched by your ears. "It'll be super casual. Easy. No stress."
Shinso kneels down next to you and dips a finger in the sunscreen.
"No stress," Shinso repeats back, dotting the sunscreen on your nose. It's enough to urge a smile out of you.
"Sorry, I know I'm--" You toss your hands in the air, frazzled, but with a smile. "This is a big deal."
"I know it is."
"We've only been dating for eight months," you say/ "What if we're jumping the gun? I don't want to put him through this if-"
"I'm not planning on breaking up with you." Ever. Shinso wouldn't have agreed to this if he wasn't completely sure that you were the one for him. It's not that he doesn't like children, it's that he's never spent time with any. Only child, no cousins: he doesn't know anything about kids other than the fact he used to be one.
You reach other and dot Shinso's nose with sunscreen. Now, you're matching.
"You might break up with me after you see what I'm dealing with."
Shinso takes your hand. "I'm not going to leave because you have a kid."
"I was talking about his father," you heave out a sigh. "They'll probably be late, by the way."
-
They are late.
Significantly.
It's six hours past the allotted time, filled with weak excuses from you. The television has rolled into the second season of some trashy show, but neither of you are really watching.
"He always loses track of time," you repeat for the twentieth time, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice. Shinso is long past disappointed, well into the area of 'pissed'. Mostly at your ex, partially at you, for letting it happen.
"He's still not calling you back?"
"No," you say, just like you've said before. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have let him know about you, he's just-- I dunno. Playing games with me again."
It contextualizes a lot of your behaviors, actually. The anxiety about getting home, the days you go radio silent, the dates where you suddenly have to run off and collect your child: he imagines there's a lot of bullshit games that happen between you two.
"You let him treat you like this?"
"He's my baby's father. I can't just..."
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cheshiresense · 1 day ago
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Oh my God, you mentioned wanting to write a thing about when Starrk finally let's his reiatsu out, and honestly, I've been thinking about that so much!!! Like here is Starrk, who has been keeping his reiatsu down to around average, who sleeps all the time, so doesn't stand out, who stands beside Ichigo, Ichigo who crazy stands out, also Starrk who joins the 4th, the 4th who everyone else considers to be weaklings!! You imagine the look on everyone's face the first time he let's lose!?! Maybe some bullying goes too far, and Starrk, who nobody thinks much of, just smacks them down hard!!! And everyone is like WTF lol 😆
sorry, I just love the idea of when people realize that Starrk is actually strong like Ichigo!! So 😁 funny!! Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts about this. I love reading them.
Lol yes it's one of those scenes that you see happen in so many different ways and all of them would be fun. I'm undecided on how I want to do it Officially so I'm putting it off (or maybe I'll just write several of them lmao).
I imagine it would have to be very serious bullying for Starrk to take that much action, cuz like he really isn't the sort to step in for every little thing. If it happens to someone he considers one of his, he might note it down and then quietly go and prevent it from happening again from behind the scenes, but in real time, he'd rather diffuse the situation or leave it to the "victim" to handle it and only step in if it looks like they really can't, and even stepping in would just be a sharp word or two to run the bully off. He's not a straightforward bleeding heart the way Ichigo is, cuz the hit-the-problem-so-it's-no-longer-a-problem method is def Ichigo's go-to strategy, he would absolutely smack the shit out of someone bullying Asuka or Rangiku in front of him and be done with it right then and there, prob flaring his reiatsu without even meaning to cuz his control's a lot better these days but it's also kind of 0 to 50, well-hidden or flashing neon sign, no in-between unless he really concentrates 😂 It's another reason Starrk would have little reason of his own to act, cuz like Ichigo would absolutely beat him to it.
For me, I could prob imagine him unleashing his reiatsu/revealing his strength if someone's about to die and the threat is big enough that he actually has to flex. He's just not someone who'd easily show what he can do, and hiding it from the likes of Aizen and the Quincy wouldn't even be his top reason. It's more like lingering PTSD--his strength doesn't bother him anymore now that he's had years of proven control under his belt, and he's even needed every last bit of his power over the past decade of war, but subconsciously, he's still not 100% comfortable with just letting anyone feel it, even tho he has enough control now that it wouldn't hurt them unless he wants it to because what if? So like, his first instinct will always be to keep it locked down, and for minor stuff (altho minor is relative for him I guess lolol), pulling out that much power is def a last resort.
Again, it contrasts what Ichigo would do. Ichigo's just used to overkill. Like even before he got his powers, he learned that an overwhelming show of strength would solve most of his gangster-related problems very easily, plus he lived in a household where Isshin only backed off from kicking him into a wall or something by kicking first or kicking back. And then after he got his powers, it's not even really his fault that he internalized a "might is right" kind of mindset /points at the entire fucking SS invasion arc and honestly every arc after that/. And also he spent his first years of Shinigami-ing running around with an unsealed Zanpakutou and zero reiatsu control, being in a constant state of Shikai is natural for him, and (moving into this AU's headcanon territory) it took him several months into the Quincy War before he finally learned to seal it away and actually have other ways of fighting that isn't just flinging Getsuga Tenshous around. He uses Bankai the way other people use hand-to-hand combat or Kidou spells, so even now, his first instinct is to just hit the problem hard enough so that it won't get back up to do more harm, and for him, that applies to everything from schoolyard bullying to fighting monster-gods. And on top of all that, his actions are largely driven by emotion. More than anything else, his first reflex is to protect, and that often leads to him throwing way more power at a threat than he actually needs to. He knows how to be more subtle these days, but it's not his preferred method and def not a reflex either the way it is with Starrk.
Of course, Starrk also understands "might is right" just by dint of being a Hollow, but he's basically spent a thousand years as someone too strong for anyone to fuck with just by existing, so he doesn't have the same kind of exposure to physical conflict that Ichigo grew up with that would make violence his first instinct.
Aanndd omg this ran away from me lmao sorry, you get a speedrun analysis on Starrk and Ichigo instead 😅
TLDR I'm still not sure of any exact scenarios that would force Starrk to show his hand, I don't want to wait until a Sternritter shows up or a final showdown vs. Aizen happens because that would take forever before we get there (I mean I could just jump right in there since this isn't a whole fic, but in-universe-timeline-wise, I'd prefer it happening earlier), but it's difficult for me to imagine that something in everyday life or even just a Hollow extermination mission would be enough to make him reveal even a bit of what he can really do.
Case in point, if you remember that mission in SP canon where Shunsui brings Ichigo and Rangiku along on a mission into the Rukongai to gain experience, and Ichigo sees a Hollow about to attack Shinji who hadn't spotted it yet, but he also didn't want to leave Rangiku unprotected, he went straight for unsealing his Zanpakutou and basically hand-delivering a shopping list of unusual or downright unique abilities to Aizen via Gin. In this AU, if Starrk goes along, he would never do such a thing, and in fact, he'd stop Ichigo and just fire a damn Byakurai or something across the clearing and kill it that way. Even if Ichigo doesn't have the finesse to pull off a low-numbered Kidou spell on the fly, he could've chosen a higher-numbered one and that would've still revealed far less to Aizen than unsealing his Zanpakutou would. But again, subtlety isn't his strong suit. He now at least has the presence of mind to think about the consequence of leaping into the fray without thought, it would leave Rangiku wide open, but his first instinct is still to use overwhelming strength to protect the people he cares about.
In contrast, Starrk may be a soft touch compared to basically every other Hollow and quite a few Shinigami, but he has the maturity and just the general personality to go for the strategic option. He has a far more tactical mind, implied even in canon to rival Shunsui in that department, so rushing in just isn't in his nature.
The only other way imo is if someone just... asks. Reikaku (reiatsu-sensing) is a thing Shinigami learn. In canon people can sense exactly who's coming just by their reiatsu (if they know them), not just if they're a Shinigami or a Hollow or even a Human, but it doesn't really expand on how. So I imagine you have to have a good feel for the person's reiatsu, it's the same as my age headcanon for reiatsu, not only can someone halfway decent at sensing reiatsu be able to get an idea of the other person's age, they would also be able to recognize and associate that reiatsu signature with that person since everybody's is different, but obviously they would have to be exposed to it a few times to learn it. Starrk's reiatsu is very unique so once or twice would be enough, and I can see a situation where the kids might ask to feel it for that reason, or a mission might require the team leader to ask, etc. etc. So yeah, that's all I got.
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laxmiree · 2 days ago
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[CN] MLQC’s Lucien - First Snowfall Date - English Translation
⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️
This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~
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Lucien’s 2024 CN Birthday Event (Golden Love Ratio)✧ Birthday Story | Birthday Prologue + Birthday Date (You’re here!) | ASMR
"Actually, the reason for wanting to own a castle is quite simple."
"Because that way, I could have a space of my own to carry out those daring and even dangerous experiments."
"And my parents could also accompany me in the castle, pursuing the research they are deeply passionate about."
"That way, they wouldn’t have to be 'trapped' in the lab all the time."
Translation under the cut!
I’m sorry for dropping this so late. As you might have seen from my tweet, my dad was hospitalized in ICU this month. I’m still struggling emotionally now as I wait for him to wake up. It’s been a difficult time, and the grief is still heavy on me as he hasn’t regained consciousness yet… 
Sharing this date translation is the least I can do to celebrate his birthday for now, even though I won’t be annoyingly scream about it like I usually would hhhh. I guess this date feels a bit like a small comfort—a reminder that even if your loved ones have passed away, it’s not all sadness. There’s still warmth in the memories they left behind :”””.
So, Xu Mo, happy birthday. I’m so happy to see you finally embracing your past with such warmth and nostalgia. Honestly, this year feels like it’s all about him finally gaining ‘blood and flesh,’ becoming more human and beautifully stained with the colors of the mortal world. His world is no longer monochrome, and now he’s moving toward the most vibrant and colorful spring. 
✂��——————–
Before reading recommendations:
[2024 Birthday Birthday (a MUST read because this date is heavily reference this!) - My Translation]
[Winery date - Youtube (EN Loc)] 
—秋天是个本身就是带着悲伤和落寞的季节, 但是秋天也拥有盛放的花草, 拥有醇美的葡萄 酒, 还有不变的思念。(Autumn itself is a season inherently tinged with sadness and loneliness. Yet, autumn also boasts blooming flowers and thriving plants, rich and mellow wines, and unwavering longing.’) 
[Autumn Blaze Date - Youtube (EN Loc)]
No tear-floods, Nor sigh-tempests move. The fulfillment of a promise is...
“诺言的实现是别离的开始”。(“The fulfillment of a promise is the beginning of separation.")
[Tidying Up Date - My Translation - Youtube (EN Loc)]
—如果在那些被定格的风景里,你依然生动 鲜活,是否证明我还想念着你。(If in those frozen scenes, you still appear vivid and lively as before, does that mean I still miss you?)
那些被我判定为重要的事,即便现在已经 不再拥有同样的心情,那我是否还爱着你。(If what I previously judged to be important no longer reflects my feelings now, does that mean I still love you?)
✂———————–
[Birthday Prologue]
Sunlight shines on the sofa, and the cozy warmth makes me lift my head from my laptop, stretching with a big, lazy yawn.
MC: It always feels like something’s missing…
Lucien's birthday is coming soon, and to properly celebrate that day, he's been rushing his experiments progress lately, making him incredibly busy.
So, I want to give him a "soft and fluffy" birthday where he can lie down anytime and anywhere.
It's just that I've run into a little problem for the time being.
=Flashback Start=
MC: Lucien, what do you think of this town?
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Lucien: It seems quite nice. It just so happens that the lab next door seems to be going here to do some research.
MC: What? No, no, if we're not careful, you'll be swept away by work!
I took out my Plan B and placed it in front of Lucien.
MC: How about this southern city then~ It should be very warm here.
Lucien: Hmm... If you don't want to be disturbed by outsiders, I'm afraid this place won't work either.
Lucien: I remember an academic summit is being held here soon. I just returned the call and declined the invitation to attend.
=Flashback End=
Therefore, after several plans were forced to be aborted one after another, my gaze inevitably shifted to the other side of the ocean.
Let's go somewhere farther away!
That way, Lucien can have a peaceful birthday without being disturbed by work or the outside world.
I immediately change my search keywords and start browsing travel guides for long-distance birthday trips.
Suddenly, a relevant news notification pops up on the webpage.
A castle museum owned by a renowned inventor from the last century will soon be open to the public.
In the photo, the historic castle is adorned with falling red leaves in the sunlight, resembling a piece of condensed amber.
I excitedly click on it and discover that, in addition to the open exhibition area, the castle is also available for rent by the square meter.
MC: ...Castle rental?
My eyes light up, and an idea forms in my mind.
✂———————–
When Lucien returns in the evening, I quietly close my laptop and walk to the door with a smile.
MC: Lucien—welcome home~ Ahem, I have a new idea about your birthday!
Lucien takes off his coat and gently embraces me, his eyes reflecting a soft, tranquil smile like the surface of a shallow water.
Lucien: What's the idea?
MC: Heehee, let me give you a hint~ How about we go somewhere far away for your birthday this time, a place with a vintage feel?
A gentle puff of air that seems like a suppressed chuckle reaches my ears, and a thoughtful expression appears on Lucien's face.
Lucien: Hmm... So, how vintage are we talking?
MC: Like, no elevator, and maybe no heating?
Lucien: Sounds like it could be a bit cold. It seems we'll need to pack some warm clothes.
I subconsciously nod, then immediately react.
MC: Wait, you've already agreed?
Lucien: Mm, after all, celebrating a birthday in a castle is a very appealing option.
MC: !!
MC: Hey! I clearly kept it under wraps, I haven’t even booked the tickets yet.... how did you figure it out so quickly?
Lucien's lips curve into a smile as he takes my hand, his index finger gently tapping on the back of my hand.
Lucien: It's probably because... your browsing history is synced to my computer.
✂———————–
[Date]
If you want to follow along with the voice- you can hear it here . The date starts at 14:10
=[Part 1]=
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The late autumn sunshine is softened by the clouds, leaping through the glass window and casting a honey-like, mottled glow on the wooden floor.
MC: Mmh…
The cold air wakes me. As I'm about to stretch, my right hand accidentally brushes against something warm and soft.
Lucien lies peacefully beside me, breathing steadily. His brow, furrowed from days of relentless work, finally relaxes as he falls into a deep well of sleep.
We crossed the ocean and arrived at an ancient castle on the Atlantic coast last night.
It is said that this castle was personally designed and built by an inventor from the electrical era. He gifted it to his wife as a wedding present upon its completion.
They fell in love as they settled down at this very place, continuously building love founded on mutual companionship. Here they remained until they eventually passed away together and were laid to rest eternally within the castle grounds.
The profound emotions and story, coupled with the beautiful view of maple leaves and the ancient castle before my eyes, strengthen my resolve to rent this castle.
Amidst the intermingling of light and shadow this early morning, I quietly gaze at Lucien and a soft warmth wells up in my heart.
A hand with defined knuckles encloses my right hand, his palm pressed against the back of my hand, transmitting his body heat.
It's as if he's reluctant to grasp it tightly, yet unwilling to let go, so he just gently cups my hand.
I raise the hand that he isn’t holding, my fingertips hovering at the smallest distance as I trace the outline of his features.
Eyelashes, the bridge of his nose, his lips… until those closed eyelids suddenly quiver and blink lightly.
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Lucien slowly opens his eyes, a hint of soft sleepiness lingering in them.
His hold on my hand tightens as he looks at me drowsily, revealing a gentle, soft smile under the sunlight.
I shift my body slightly, blocking the sunlight that's falling into his eyes, then lean down and gently press my cheek against his.
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MC: Happy birthday, Professor Lucien~
Lucien: [his sleepy, soft voice is so cute-] Thank you, my little lady.
He tilts his face up, nuzzling affectionately against my cheek. The sunlight falls on his side profile, making him look fluffy.
The strands of his hair tangle with mine, stirring tender and lingering itches.
Lucien: Waking up in a castle and hearing MC's blessing, I must be the happiest person in the world right now.
Lucien: If I were to say there's still something missing, it would probably be...
Lucien: [chuckles] You're right. This castle is indeed quite cold.
His teasing tone makes me unable to resist lifting the corner of my lips. I snuggle closer, resting my cheek on his collarbone and nuzzling against it, warming the slightly cold patch of skin.
After warming up his skin that was exposed to the air, I tilt my face up to look at him.
MC: Being here with you under the covers like this makes it feel just a bit warmer.  
MC: However, getting up and moving around might help warm up our body too.
I wink at Lucien, speaking with a feigned seriousness that makes the matter seem like a big deal.
MC: I’ve decided to leave this difficult decision to the esteemed castle owner. May I ask, what would Your Highness like to do*?
My words are the picture of courtesy, yet I press myself against Lucien, my hand boldly and unreservedly traces his cheek.
His chest, pressed tightly against mine, trembles softly. Lucien takes my fingers, bringing them to his pale lips for a gentle kiss.
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Lucien: Since I’m the owner of this castle... then, I want to stay in bed with my girlfriend for a bit longer right now.
He looks at me and blinks, his eyelashes casting a warm shadow on his cheek.
Lucien: [chuckles] Is that okay?
His voice holds a touch of playful mischievousness. I meet those eyes filled with smiles and feel a little dazed.
MC: Of course…
Before I can even finish speaking, I feel his hand tighten around my waist, and I yield as he wraps me back in the blanket again.
From just a breath away, I hear Lucien's long, contented exhale.
Lucien: [chuckles softly, then exhales comfortably] Then stay with me a little longer, let's indulge in bed a bit more.
✂———————–
*: MC playfully used 您 (nin) here, which is like the formal way to say ‘you’. I translate this to ‘Your Highness’ as an attempt to capture this~
✂———————–
=[Part 2]=
We linger in bed until almost noon when Lucien finally 'digs' me out of the warm covers while I’m still drowsy from sleep.
After freshening up, we enjoy the sumptuous and exquisite brunch prepared by the butler.
Before the birthday dinner arrives, we still have a long stretch of leisurely time that we can freely arrange.
Considering this rare opportunity to vacation in the castle, we decide to spend half the day on the castle's lawn.
Late autumn is a season of vibrant colors, and the castle's designer clearly understood this well, planting a row of deciduous trees along the castle's edge.
[Trivia: Deciduous trees are trees that shed their leaves each year in the autumn!]
The lawn remains as green as an antique jade, but the leaves of the trees have already turned yellow, with a backdrop of maple forests ablaze in crimson.
The sunlight is warm, the fallen leaves crunch under my feet, and I can't help but take a deep breath.
MC: Mmm... It's the scent of autumn!
Lucien chuckles softly and, imitating me, takes a gentle breath of the autumn air.
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Lucien: [chuckles] The air is so fresh. It must have rained last night; I can smell the petrichor.
MC: Hearing you say that, it feels like even the air today is a fresh gift for you~
I reach out and catch a falling leaf carried by the autumn breeze, gently placing it in Lucien's hand.
MC: Lucien, I want to give you a gift of autumn!
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Lucien: A gift of autumn?
Lucien takes the leaf with a slightly puzzled look. I swing his hand gently and give him a wink.
MC: Consider this leaf a humble offering to spark something greater.
MC: I want to use these fallen leaves, flowers, and fruits to make an autumn basket, offering a small gift to today's birthday boy using nature's bounty.
Lucien gently nods in understanding, the curve of his lips remaining unchanged.
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Lucien: Even though you're preparing a gift for me, the birthday boy himself is eager to join in too.
Lucien: Or is it that my little lady will only allow me to stand back and do nothing?
As he leans in slightly, his tone carries a hint of seriousness, and his fingertips lightly brush against my palm.
Sunlight sprinkles across his face, and his smiling eyes, framed by the interplay of light and shadow, appear even deeper, revealing a gentle slyness.
MC: Of course I need Professor Lucien's help, but when it comes to the final weaving stage, the birthday boy can't peek~
Lucien: No problem, I will be an honest collaborator.
The autumn wind lifts his hair, creating gentle curves as it sweeps through the strands. I gather his fingers in mine and we step onto the forest path by the castle.
MC: Let's go then, we still need a lot of materials~
In the maple forest during late autumn, fruit trees laden with fruit hide amongst the low bushes, while vibrant beeches with flourishing branches and leaves stand beside the tall oaks.
Purple crocuses peek their delicate buds from the grass, while after the rain, strange fungi unfurl their caps and release spores.
It's like stumbling into an autumn oil painting with bold colors and thick brushstrokes, every glance reveals a colorful and magnificent scenery.
When Lucien picks up a plump acorn, a red squirrel with a fluffy tail scurries out and squeaks at him.
MC: Wow, such a daring little squirrel!
Lucien and I are both taken aback for a moment; this little fellow seems completely unafraid of us.
MC: Is it greeting us, or is it trying to steal the fruit we've picked up?
Lucien seems to already have a way to handle this, a hint of cunningness flashing in his eyes.
He takes a pine cone in his hand and gently dangles it in front of the little squirrel's tail.
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Lucien: [chuckles] Little guy, do you want this?
The greedy little squirrel's eyes instantly fixate on the new pine cone, completely captivated by his movement, and it scurries forward a few steps.
It stuffs the pine cone from Lucien's hand into its mouth in one gulp, then hops away with its cheeks puffed out.
Lucien: [chuckles] This maple forest is their world. That pine cone, well, let's just consider it an ‘entry fee'.
Lucien raises his hand again, and when he opens his palm before me, there they are—several even plumper and cuter acorns.
MC: Hold on, turns out you've been secretly keeping all these 'hidden treasures' to yourself!
Lucien: [in an ‘innocent’ tone] After all, my little lady needs these acorns, so I had to find a way to evade those sharp-eared and keen-eyed little fellows.
Though he says this, Lucien shows a relaxed expression, looking like a little fox pretending to be innocent.
The thought of the Great Professor Lucien actually ‘tricking’ a squirrel makes me burst out laughing. I grab his hand and pull him along as I run in the other direction.
MC: Hahaha, Professor Lucien, quick, run with me! Be careful, the little squirrel might go find the squirrel police and report us!
I hold hands with Lucien as we walk through the woods. The surrounding scenery is vibrant with colors, creating the impression of a flowing oil painting.
The air around the sweet osmanthus trees is filled with a sweet fragrance like cotton candy, while black walnuts and red oak acorns roll on the ground.
My pockets are loaded with autumn's ‘spoils’ which keep spilling out as I run, as if they are merging with the forest's hidden mysteries.
Despite these minor incidents, we still manage to gather a basketful of autumn's gifts.
✂———————–
Back indoors, I carry my blessings for Lucien and patiently weave them together.
Leaves and fruits gradually take shape in my hands, carrying small heartfelt wishes, preserving the warmth and liveliness of autumn.
And then, I find Lucien by the window.
He seems to have just come inside, a hint of coldness still clinging to him, but when he turns and looks back at me, a gentle smile quickly spreads across his face.
I smile and lift the basket of fruits and flowers with both hands as if I'm holding all the beauty of autumn.
MC: This castle’s most beautiful autumn is all right here! Here, it's all yours—
MC: I hope every day of your future can be as complete, fulfilling, and beautiful as this~
Lucien's eyes curve into a smile as he takes the basket.  Suddenly, I feel a touch of moist coolness against my ear.
Through the glass window, I see him quietly tuck a vibrant Cleome flower into my hair.
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Lucien: Thank you, I really like these autumn gifts.
Lucien: But for me, the most beautiful part of autumn is right here before my eyes.
Lucien: She blooms year after year, staying by my side, and leaving me utterly captivated*.
✂———————–
[T/N]
I think the Cleome Spinosa flower, also known as 醉蝶花 ("intoxicated butterfly") carries symbolic meaning. When Lucien gives her this particular flower, it reflects his emotions about her. The final line (她年复一年地盛开,陪在我的身边,令我沉醉其中 — literally translated as "She blooms year after year, staying by my side, and leaving me intoxicated") directly connects to the "intoxicating" (醉) in the flower's name with the word 沉醉 (immersed in a state of intoxication) in the last line, which combines 沉 (to sink or immerse) and 醉 (to be drunk or intoxicated).
沉醉 conveys the emotional nuances of being utterly captivated, deeply enchanted, and overwhelmed in a consuming, blissful way. This imagery mirrors the 'intoxicated butterfly' of the flower, as if he's the 'intoxicated butterfly', utterly captivated and completely consumed by her existence.
✂———————–
=[Part 3]=
It's past dusk, and the sunlight is as golden and radiant as freshly harvested honey. Outside the window, a vast expanse of red maple trees sways in harmony with the evening breeze, whispering a soft melody. Leaves flutter and dance their way into the room every now and then.
I rub my arms, for even this gentle and beautiful scenery can’t stop the temperature from dropping as night falls.
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MC: Uh... It feels even colder than it did this morning.
Just then, the sound of rolling wheels comes from behind me. Lucien approaches, pushing a small wooden cart, a plush shawl in his hand.
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Lucien: I found a pretty good way to warm up, want to give it a try?
He gently wraps a shawl around me, and I comfortably nuzzle against his warm and cozy neck.
MC: I'm all ears to hear the esteemed opinions of the castle's owner!
Lucien smiles mysteriously, holds my hand, and pushes the cart as we walk together to a door leading underground.
MC: This is... a wine cellar?
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Lucien: I think it would be more ceremonial if we chose the wine list ourselves tonight.
He lights the two oil lamps that were prepared in advance. Each of us carries one, and we slowly move forward through the rich aroma of oak barrels.
According to the butler, the wine cellar was recently ventilated.  
Yet, perhaps the overwhelming aroma of wine saturates the air, walking inside makes me feel a bit stifled. I even feel slightly intoxicated just from the scent, before even having a sip.
Besides me, only Lucien still carries the fresh and crisp scent of grass and trees from when we were gathering fruits and fallen leaves.
It feels like he is the only antidote in this dim room filled with the floating aroma of wine.
Red maple leaves, the wine cellar, the wine itself… memories from the past seem to overlap at this moment.
Suddenly, I recall the winery we visited long ago.
The memory of the autumn stained red by the maple leaves has brought with it the restlessness and infatuation of the past, spilling out from the bottom of my heart without any reason...
It's as if my lips still retain the feeling of his touch when he wiped away the wine stain for me, making my heartbeat inexplicably quicken. Just then, I catch sight of Lucien gently placing a bottle of wine into the cart.
MC: Professor Lucien, what kind of wine did you choose?
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Lucien: Riesling white wine.
Lucien turns the bottle around to show me.
Lucien: When I got the cart, the butler knew I was going to the wine cellar and recommended this castle's specialty to me.
Lucien: And you?
I suppress the excitement in my heart and wink at him mysteriously.
MC: Hmph, you'll find out soon enough.
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The light and soft aroma of white wine fills the air, and even the candles on the wall seem intoxicated by the wine's fragrance, their flames gently flickering.  
Under the twilight dome of the sky, the shadows of the wine rack and stone walls sway gracefully in the flickering firelight.  
Lucien and I sit at a small table nearby, two crystal-clear glasses already filled with wine, exuding a faintly tipsy aura.  
After two glasses of Riesling, I feel warmth spreading through my body and let out a satisfied sigh.
MC: Ahh, so comfortable... I don't feel cold at all anymore~ As expected of the wine Professor Lucien chose.
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Lucien: [chuckles] Would you like some more?
I smile and shake my head, winking at him mysteriously.
MC: First, let's try the wine I picked~
I open the bottle of wine I selected and pour a glass for Lucien, sneaking a glance at his face from the corner of my eye.  
The candlelight cast a soft filter over him, concealing his keen and contemplative eyes, which revealed a soft glow under the haze of the wine.
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He parts his pale lips, gently swallows the wine, and seems to be momentarily dazed.
MC: How is it?
I can barely contain my anticipation as I watch his brow smooth slightly, relaxing further after taking in the wine.
Confusion and surprise flit through his gentle eyes, before swiftly transforming into a clear understanding.
Lucien:  ...This flavor is very unique, and yet also very familiar.
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Lucien: It's sweet and tender, yet with a touch of bitterness and complexity*.
[Notes from Lux: He copied her remark from back then, word by word :”””. 纠结 is a tricky word to translate because it literally means “intertwined”/”tangled”. But figuratively, it implies a kind of intertwined, tangled feeling, commonly describing a state of emotional or mental conflict, where someone feels torn between different choices or is experiencing confusion and hesitation (a.k.a the state of the earlier stage of their relationship-). I went with ‘complexity’ to capture some nuances, but it might not capture this ‘entangling’ feeling.]
The complex yet familiar remark sends a rush of emotions through me. Just as I’m thinking about what to say, Lucien smiles.
Lucien: But when I savor it again, I feel a warmth, like that of sunshine and rain—a delicate, pleasant warmth.
The familiar words stir a trace of emotion in my heart, and in a daze, it feels as if the autumn equinox of that year has arrived at this very moment.
He still remembers—this is the same bottle of wine I tasted back when we were just getting to know each other, during our visit to Eileen's winery for an interview.
My fingertips unconsciously rub against the bottle, and my thoughts follow my gaze to the red maple trees bathed in the evening glow.
Back then, it was also the season when the maples were crimson and the flowers were in full bloom...
A maple leaf, as if on cue, is swayed by the evening breeze and drifts toward me. I instinctively reach out, and the leaf gently lands in my palm.
It feels as though the early days of tentative exploration and the subtle sweetness of that time have traveled with the falling leaf, arriving here in this foreign land at this moment.
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Lucien: I remember, on the way to the winery, I mentioned Maple Road. We ended up going there together.
Lucien: On Maple Road, we read a poetry collection together and visited a maple sugar shack.
Lucien: Later, I drew a picture of you collecting maple leaves. That drawing even ended up in an exhibition...
The rippling light of the wine in the crystal glass reflects on him, even his gaze holds tender memories.
Lucien speaks calmly, his memories unfolding like a heavy book, slowly opening before me with the sound of his voice.
The bond beneath the red maple tree and the feelings growing in the vineyard, word by word, moment by moment, intertwine and become etched into our story-
Only those who created it together can turn its pages and retrieve each other's anchors from the endless flow of time.
My heart is stirred, subtly and uncontrollably. I can't help but rush into Lucien's arms, hugging him tightly.
MC: I remember too.
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MC: Not just these things you've mentioned... everything about you, I remember it all.
MC: So after today, Professor Lucien should also update this birthday into all our autumn memories.
His chest pressed close to me, trembles slightly. A warm, gentle kiss falls on my forehead, soft and cherishing.
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Lucien: Such beautiful memories, I don't seem to have any reason to let them fade away.
I lift my face joyfully and gently kiss his chin.  
We have already experienced countless stories through many autumns and celebrated each of his birthdays.
And I also want to write down promises with him for each and every autumn in the future, continuing on for a very, very long time.
MC: Then it's a promise!
Lucien smiles faintly and lifts me up with one hand, his gentle gaze meeting mine at eye level.
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Lucien: [chuckles] However, if I want to make the anchor of this ‘memory’ even more profound, I still need to gather a bit of inspiration…
The remaining of his words are lost into our mingling breaths, replaced by a crisp kiss tinged with the scent of wine.
This kiss is gentle and intoxicating, leaving me somewhat tipsy, though not from the effects of alcohol.
Perhaps it's because the youthful and inexperienced flavor of that past has long since mixed with the passionate love that has matured over time…
Blending and growing, pulling me deeply into it.
✂———————–
=[Part 4]=
The twilight gradually fades into the night, and the bright moon quietly hangs in the autumn night, illuminating the still dazzling and fiery red maple leaves.
Lucien and I are still sitting at the table, enjoying the tranquility, when a sudden coldness brushes against my cheek.
I raise my head and realize, without noticing it, that snowflakes have already begun drifting down from the sky. Just then, I hear Lucien's smiling voice beside me.
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Lucien: It seems that today's ‘gifts’ are not over yet.
MC: After all, today is your birthday—the whole world will be sending you blessings~
Our gazes meet, and with a tacit understanding, we both set down our glasses and take each other's hands.
Lucien: Then, can I invite my ‘world’ to go out with me and experience this beauty together?
In the courtyard, rustling red maples intertwine with falling snowflakes, as if autumn and winter themselves are completing their handover at this very moment.
We get an umbrella from the butler and hold hands as we follow the stone path down the hill from the old castle.
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The moonlight on a snowy night grows brighter as we walk side by side to the small town at the foot of the hill, where the houses and streetlights are all covered in a delicate layer of snowflakes.
On the streets of the small town, many people, like Lucien and I, stroll under the moonlight, accompanied by the backdrop of the first snowfall, tacitly enjoying this tranquil night.
I turn my head to look at Lucien and find him reaching out his hand, gently catching a falling snowflake.
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His eyes curve faintly, as if harboring some kind of quiet longing, even carrying a touch of rare childlike innocence.
MC: [smiles softly] Why does it feel like Professor Lucien has a special fondness for this snow?
My tone holds a hint of curiosity, wanting to capture this rare glimpse of his innocence. Lucien smiles and begins to speak softly.
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Lucien: [softly, like recalling a cherished memory] Just remembered a movie I watched when I was little. I remember... it was about an inventor who lived in a castle.
Lucien: After watching it as a child, there was a time when I also wanted to be an inventor with a castle.
My eyes widen in a bit of surprise.
MC: [pouts] I can understand wanting to be an inventor, but why did it have to be one who lives in a castle…
MC: Professor Lucien, could it be that you're teasing me on purpose just because we came to a castle this year?
Lucien: [chuckles] Of course not. But if this story will make this little lady happy, I’d be more than willing to tell it to you.
MC: I want to hear it, I want to hear it!
I enthusiastically put on an attentive look, Lucien smiles as he begins to speak.
Lucien: Actually, the reason for wanting to own a castle is quite simple.
Lucien: Because that way, just like the main character in the movie, I could have a space of my own to carry out those daring and even dangerous experiments.
Lucien: And my parents could also accompany me in the castle, pursuing the research they are deeply passionate about.
Lucien: That way, they wouldn’t have to be 'trapped' in the lab all the time.
Lucien speaks naturally, his voice imbued with a soft smile, yet it's as if a tiny window is being opened.
Through that window, I seem to see a little Lucien, his eyes sparkling with fascination as he watches the movie, his heart filled with simple and pure longing.
My heart suddenly softens, and I can’t help but smile tenderly as I start to speak.
MC: The dream of becoming an inventor could now be considered halfway realized~
MC: After all, Professor Lucien is a great scientist walking at the forefront of humanity—it’s perhaps even more remarkable than that!
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MC: As for the castle... you've been the ‘owner of the castle’ for a day today, does that count?
Lucien: [chuckles] Of course it counts. And now, there’s even the first snowfall.
He takes my slightly cold hand and slips it in his pocket, softly rubbing it.
Lucien: I can no longer recall the plot of that movie very well. But I do remember that on the day we watched it, it also snowed in Loveland City.
Lucien: That day, they finished work early and brought home the videotape of that movie.
Lucien: The movie ended with the town welcoming its first snowfall, and we also stepped outside together to enjoy the snowy world.
He speaks vaguely, but I understand everything.
His low voice feels especially serene on this snowy night, yet as he speaks, another scene unfolds before my eyes.
When his room flooded before, he tidied up those old videotapes and set them aside, placing them carefully in a separate spot.
Is this old movie among those tapes?
As he put away the videotapes, did he recall that ancient castle and that warm snowfall?
I don’t know the answer, but I can feel that those fleeting, rarely mentioned fragments of his past were once so distant and cold.
But now, those precious fragments have thawed like melting ice and snow, filled with nostalgia and warmth as they slowly flow.
I instinctively tighten my hold on his hand.
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The first snowfall is falling thicker and thicker, yet it isn't biting cold. Snowflakes gently drift past the edge of the umbrella, landing on the tips of my hair and forehead, as well as Lucien's.
It's as if this world is bestowing its blessings on Lucien in the most gentle way.
MC: Even though it's many years late, it seems that we've now made little Lucien's childhood dream come true.
With a chuckle, Lucien's low voice reaches me through the wind and snow.
Lucien: [chuckles] Indeed, so I was quite surprised, but also delightfully so.
Lucien: However, if it weren’t for this twist of fate, perhaps I wouldn’t have thought of this idea again for a very, very long time.
Lucien: [softly] Because I've long had something far more important.
Lucien: To me, those forgotten thoughts are more like a bottle of wine hidden in a cellar.
MC: Wine?
Lucien: Mm, just like the wine we’re drinking today.
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Lucien: Grapes can never return to their original form, but time makes them richer and more mellow, and they will always meet someone who knows how to cherish them.
Lucien: She will give me a castle, stay in bed with me, treasure an entire autumn with me... and walk with me through quiet streets on snowy nights.
A snowflake quietly lands on his eyelashes and melts a moment later. It’s as if the melted droplets seep into my heart, creating ripples of sweet warmth.
I can't help but speak softly, offering all my blessings to my beloved standing before me under the moonlight of this snowy night.
MC: Happy birthday, Lucien.
May each and every year of your future be surrounded with love as you move forward.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*FIN*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
[Bonus Phone call]
Lucien: I received the email you sent. Looks like it has some intel about a birthday.
MC: Yes! It's a text-based open-source game I found online. I modified it a bit~
MC: You can start from age 0 and randomly generate the 'life' of a little Lucien!
Lucien: Mm, just now, I've already completed two endings.
Lucien: The first time, little Lucien was accidentally captured by an alien spacecraft at the age of three and left Earth forever.
Lucien: The second time, little Lucien received a mysterious admission letter at the age of sixteen. No one knows where he went.
[Aren't these just a reflection of his past??? from being kidnapped by BS to mysteriously disappearing hhhhh]
MC: Haha, is the game’s random value design too harsh? Maybe I should tweak it a bit...
Lucien: No need, I really like this level of difficulty. It’s precisely this randomness that makes it so interesting to me.
Lucien: I’ve just started my third playthrough. This time, I’ve decided to reallocate some of the 15 points I gave to intelligence and assign some to luck.
[Not this basically saying that his genius may be the reason for his unluckiness in life :""". His 'luck' in life is that he's able to met her]
MC: So Professor Lucien had been putting all the points into one stat before! No wonder you kept having such over-the-top mysterious experiences...
Lucien: I just subconsciously wanted to test the limits of this little game, and unexpectedly made real discoveries.
Lucien: Although these endings greatly increased the game's replayability, this time, I want to make the game last a bit longer.
Lucien: That way, perhaps I can meet you in the game as well.
MC: Hehe, you can look forward to it!
MC: So, how's it going? What age did you reach in your third playthrough?
Lucien: …Hmm, I've already invented the elixir of immortality and reached the age of two hundred, but I still haven't encountered you.
Lucien: Am I on the right track?
MC: Pfft! I did set up an encounter, but I didn't set an age limit, thinking it would slightly increase replayability...
MC: I feel like I might have overdone it...
Lucien: It’s okay. In the game, little Lucien has already met you—at the age of five hundred.
Lucien: Then, on his birthday, we confessed to each other at the same time and spent a happy life together.
[Man so love-brained that he creates an immortality elixir and stubbornly waits a long time to finally meet her LOL. In this way, it can be said that his current life might be the 'luckiest' possibility because it allows him to meet her so soon]
MC: Hahaha, that's good, that's good... So, do you like this "life path" of becoming an inventor?
Lucien: I like it. I like everything and my destined encounter with you.
Lucien: I’ll be home soon, and when I get there, I’d like to invite you to explore all the other possibilities for little Lucien together—
Lucien: And explore every moment I spent with you on this birthday.
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metalcorebarbie · 2 years ago
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#i find it funny that in these past few weeks i’ve seen people in the 911 fandom complain about some fans constantly being negative#or overly anxious or misogynistic#but i never see these opinions or know what made people complain sdfjmjkh#then i find out that what caused the anxiousness is something like#a new synopsis for the next episode or something else that doesn’t really tell us anything about what is going to happen#this has happened several times in the past MONTH#and i don’t get how some people have been able to get themselves so worked up over nothing that they’ve annoyed other people that much#then there are people complaining about people complaining#and then you might even get people complaining about people complaining about people complaining#HJADSFSFGMNF#then i get flashbacks to my 1d fandom days#i don’t know what my point in this was#just that i find it funny that no matter what fandom#there are always these same ’patterns’ in them and the same drama and even the same discourse#(1d voice) circles we’re going in circles#sdfjnnhn#no but seriously sometimes i feel like fandoms just repeat the same two conversations no matter what the original media is about#there’s just something funny about it to me how all fandoms are basically same#also i think my favorite phenomenom is people having fun and making shit posts#based on something really small someone once teased#and then some people get their hopes so far up#that when something they wanted doesn’t actually happen#they get so mad that they start hating the creators of the thing they’re fans of#even when it’s not their ’fault’ and they literally based their hopes on unhinged fandom theories#that were the result of several people having fun at 2am#btw i’m not saying any of this to say that i’m any better than anyone else#i do also complain (mostly in private) about people complaining#and i’m the clown who tries to fill the huge void inside myself with tv-shows so#anyway#we should all be studied like bugs
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faaun · 5 months ago
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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aro4aro-t4t-gabv1el · 11 days ago
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"i'll always be by your side siffrin, whether in battle or in bed!" yeah no isabeau's down bad for siffrin isnt he
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mwagneto · 11 months ago
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sometimes i'm home alone for months at a time coz my parents leave (like rn) and ofc that's usually when the "ooh neighbour scary you never know what you live next to" stories find me which almost spook me but then i'm like. idk why i'd be scared of my neighbours being insane when i'm literally the insane neighbour
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lesbiansanemi · 1 year ago
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I think… I have figured out the reason I never get gendered as a guy anymore and it’s making me have…. A lot of really complex feelings
#most of my life I’ve been VERY androgynous#and ever since I cut off all of my hair when I was 16 and started dressing in men’s clothes#I tended to get gendered as a man or woman p equally by strangers#(until I talked because my voice tends to be a give away which is a whole other thing I have Thoughts about but that’s a different issue)#but in the past oh… idk… six months or so? I literally NEVER get gendered as a guy#it has happened ONCE#like sure ppl will ask for my pronouns but I know that’s just cuz I look like stereotypical genderqueer afab person#it’s not cuz they can’t tell what my gender is…#and I’ve been wondering what’s so different. why don’t I ever get gendered as a man anymore#I haven’t changed how I dress I still have a masculine haircut most of the time my facial features obviously haven’t changed#SO WHAT DID#I… I’ve figured it out….#I’ve gained weight. but only in my hips and thighs#all my pants that I’ve had for YEARS are suddenly too tight and too small around my hips and thighs#I’ve NEVER had curves anywhere before I was always stuck straight and now… I do#and like part of me wants to be happy. I’m gaining weight!!! I’ve always been so horrendously underweight#and I’ve battled severe disordered eating for so long that was the cause#this past year I’ve actually very steadily been eating three meals a day instead of one#I can eat whole portions without getting sick#and I’m really proud of myself for that like I’m def not upset I’m gaining weight#it’s just. it’s just that it’s literally all in my hips and thighs#and it’s giving me a more feminine figure which I’ve NEVER had before#and I know your body goes through more changes in your twenties and that’s probably part of it too#it’s just. I don’t want this. I don’t like this.#I haven’t felt genuinely dysphoric in a long time and now I want to crawl out of my skin whenever I look in a full body mirror#cuz I see it now. I see the change. and I just. do Not fucking Like It#but I can’t do anything about it 😭#and idk what to do#ugh#kaz rambles
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themagical1sa · 1 year ago
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"i like you and i blame you for making me feel this way" he said
i still think about it
#isa and the y/n experience#isa go to sleep challenge#except i Can't because i am going through a story arc for real right now#his squish for me evolved into a crush i think#like. romantic interest and alladat jazz. the whole shebang#i feel like this has been a long time coming and whatever happened last sunday was just his tipping point#i didn't want to assume anything (God. me and this specific sentence. I think we've found the theme for the story /j) so i just#let things happen first because i needed to be Certain (this mfing word too. guys I've figured out the plot theme /j)#im ngl i had an anxious voice in my brain going 'don't fall in love with me' for the past several months#but now that i'm dissecting it... there's a lot going on with why i had that string of thought#i'm very hyperaware of the dynamics shifting over time (especoally rn when i'm not enrolled for this semester)#not to mention my thing for crushie which has added conflict on top of the dynamics shift#we haven't interacted very much but i still have affection for him... yet on the other hand squishie's squishing me so hard i'm a crush now#the dynamics have changed#and then there's squishie's backstory that i will never detail so long story short: he's been on the receiving end of toxic relationships#and i've managed to become a major turning point that made him realize that he can be happy again#i've got a lot on my mind can u tell HAHA#i'm thinkin' abt alladis on top of wanting to be more objectively productive with my time off college AAAAAAAA#this wattpad fanfic shoujo manga webtoon morning romcom disney aitcom is getting too real @_@#shoutout to my besties especially seraph who contributed to that label#my life has never been the same since the moment classmate bestie clocked me as a living wattpad fanfic back in january 24#augh#anyway. i'm gonna... try to brainrot abt something else HAHA#shoutout to hug anon#if u're still here: bestie a lot of things have happened since u were last here#they were one of the og crushie/isa supporters from tumblr HAHA
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katyspersonal · 9 months ago
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Just recently realised that before I noticed, Brador became a necessary comfort item for me?? LOL
Like, I can hardly do anything without him anymore...? Micolaurence ship? No It Is Not, I need to add Brador in it and have him and Mico rival for Laurence. Laurence's important subordinates? Can't forget Brador, he is maybe not as big and radiant as Gehrman and Ludwig, but he is basically Laurence's shadow! Research Hall? Can't forget Brador going there and interacting with Maria and doctors too, even if more occasionally. The Workshops? There is a cut content 'Clocktower Hunter badge', there could've been a covenant of assassins like he is and they had their own blood-based weaponry system, so they could be comparable with others! The 'New Church' (Amelia, Adella, Alfred, Henriett)? Brador is old but probably was alive at that time, they maybe still visited him! Characters that logically haven't even met Brador in person? I can write an analysis comparing their mindset and philosophy with Brador's, or find interesting parallels!
Like, he is just the plush toy I can't sleep without all of a sudden. "Mom can we get the Brador :(" fdjdshfhsd
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adw520 · 2 years ago
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cant sleep because i cant stop thinking about how the mechanic was a bit of an asshole to me for no reason when i got my car finally taken in
#adw's ramblings#'i could tell your car's been sitting for a month' yeah i wouldve moved it sooner if it could. you know. start#'the sun here drains your battery you should be able to pick it up once i charge it' that car has been#jumpstarted five times in the last week and not once has it stayed alive long enough to leave the parking spot#three of those times it died while the starter was still hooked up and on#and one of those three times the starter was the tow truck (she didnt want to go into neutral so the driver gave her a quick spark)#(it was the most pathetic sounding attempt to start i've ever heard her make)#guess what i didnt get the call to pick up my car today#i know im 5'2" and look several years younger than i am but god can you not be so condescending#and like whatever its not the only time this sort of shit will or has happened to me i know#but im already stressed about the car and im not great at sleeping to begin with so this is like the cherry on the cake#i was baking until 11:45 last night in a dorm kitchen#but i dont have milk so i can't make the muffins or quick breads i have mixes for#and guess what i need to get milk.#a working car#not that i need more baked goods im not convinced my roommate and i can make it through the cake i made before it goes bad#i'm very stressed and anxious and a little bit angry and its all just. ughhhhhhh#if you made it this far down the tags uhh here's a cookie i guess 🍪#you can imagine it's one of the ones i made yesterday#or technically the day before yesterday since it's past midnight here
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lastknownstatus-alive · 1 year ago
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@gonewithufo
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coinflict · 4 months ago
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Haven't logged onto hsr in like a month genuinely life changing decision to stop playing gacha games
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mvnces · 9 months ago
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only got paid for one week of work instead of the usual two because the head of the department didn’t approve my hours before yesterday so
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fireinmoonshot · 4 months ago
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death wish love | tyler owens x fem!reader
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Pairing: Tyler Owens x Fem!Reader Summary: As members of rival storm chasing groups, you and Tyler Owens have hated each other since the start – well, you were supposed to. Little do you know, Tyler has been head over heels for you for months, and it's only when he nearly loses you that he realises he's done with pretending to hate you. Warnings: Descriptions of injuries, mentions of blood, tornadoes (of course), Tyler is actually painfully obvious with his crush but thinks he's not at all. Word Count: 6.7k (I don't know how that happened) A/N: I had this idea for a fic a few days ago and when I was listening to the Twisters soundtrack as I wrote, I realised that the song Death Wish Love fits it perfectly. I did not intend for this to be so long, but it somehow just happened. It's probably one of the longest things I've written on this blog, so I hope anyone that reads it really enjoys it. I had so much fun writing it and playing around in the Twisters universe! I will definitely be writing more for Tyler.
One of these days, Tyler Owens was going to get his shit together and ask you out. There were, however, several things in the way. The most pressing being the fact that your storm chasing groups were rivals and had been for years.
The fact that you hated his guts would be the second. 
He was unaware that you didn’t hate him quite as much as you made out to, though. It was just that you had a reputation to uphold. Being the unofficial leader of The Thunder Team, your friends and fellow storm chasers all expected you to dislike the Tornado Wranglers just as much as they did.
And you had – in the start. 
You were just beginning your PhD, fairly fresh in the world of storm chasing and the rivalry between your teams had been there from the very beginning. To your team, the Tornado Wranglers were nothing more than a bunch of stupid kids who didn’t even have the correct knowledge to be chasing these tornadoes.
To you, they had slowly become something of a wonder. You didn’t think it was necessary to have a PhD or education under your belt in order to storm chase. As long as you loved it, that was enough. And you never doubted the love that the Tornado Wranglers had for it. 
But still, the rivalry continued. It was always a competition. Who could get to the tornado first? Who could get closer? Who had better instincts when it came to choosing which one to chase? Who could get more attention on social media with their photos and videos?
The Tornado Wranglers had an advantage on that one.
That never stopped your team trying, though. Which is exactly what they’re doing as you walk towards them from where you’ve just parked your car. They’re all crowded around the van in the motel parking lot. Robbie, one of your closest friends, is filming Ally talking about something, probably regarding the EF1 tornado you’d chased today. 
You stop far enough away that you aren’t going to end up in the background of the video, and that’s when Tyler Owens sidles up beside you, arms crossed over his chest.
“Not interested in going viral?”
You glance up at him and notice he’s already looking at you with a cocky grin on his irritatingly handsome face. “No, figured I’d leave that to you and your team. Shoot any fireworks up a tornado today? I didn’t see you out there.”
“I didn’t realise you were looking.” 
There’s something strange in his tone of voice, but when you look at him again, there’s nothing in his face to give away the reason. 
“I wasn’t,” you huff. “It’s just that I see your giant red truck everywhere when I’m trying to get good photos of the tornadoes and it’s quite obvious when you’re not there.” 
Tyler smiles to himself. “Why don’t you come chasing with us one day, then? My truck won’t end up in your photos if you’re taking photos from inside it.”
You laugh. “That is the last thing I would want to do.” A lie. You’ve thought about it several times in the past.
“Sure, sure. You keep telling yourself that and one day you might actually believe it.”
You narrow your eyes at him but make no move to walk away from him. Your team are still filming and you’d rather stay away until they’re finished, even if it means standing with Tyler Owens until they are. 
“You guys gonna stop by the rodeo tomorrow night?” Tyler breaks the silence. 
You shrug your shoulders. “Depends on how tomorrow goes. You?”
He nods. “Yeah, we probably will, even if tomorrow doesn’t go to plan. You know my team. We love a night out.”
The weather tomorrow was predicted to be a good one for storm chasers – thunderstorms with heavy rain and likely a tornado as well, if the conditions were good enough. You were all hoping that they were. 
“My guys are less likely to go if they know your team is going, you know?” You look at Tyler, noticing the way that he’s watching your team, who are now laughing at something that Ally had said for the video. “We are still rivals.” 
“Did you think I needed a reminder?” He chuckles.
“Why? Am I being too nice to you?”
Tyler grins, one of those ones that makes you feel a little funny in your stomach. Like butterflies – but you don’t get butterflies from people you dislike. 
“Oh, darlin', you’re always a delight.”
You roll your eyes. “Want me to get you a shovel so you can start digging yourself a hole?” 
He holds up his hands in mock surrender and laughs. “Sorry, sorry,” he grins. “You wanna grab one for yourself so you can help me? I’d love the company.”
You open your mouth to reply about how much you’d love to help just as you catch Robbie’s eye. He’s quick to call out your name, beckoning you over, and you have no choice but to listen to him and leave Tyler. You’ve already stood here talking to him long enough and the last thing you want is your team thinking that you’re colluding with the Tornado Wranglers. 
“Gotta go,” you nod your head towards your group. “Good luck tomorrow.”
Tyler bids you good luck as well and watches as you head over towards your group, all of them eyeing him as you reach them. He tips his hat at Robbie, who is watching him with judging eyes, and turns on his heel, heading back to his own team to get a well needed beer.
When Tyler gets back to his team, he realises that they were all watching him. They all give him questioning looks as he grabs a beer out of the cooler. 
“What? I got something on my face?”
“Yeah, it sure is written all over your face,” Boone says.
Tyler frowns. “What is?”
“Oh, don’t try and lie to us, Ty,” Dani adds.
He shakes his head and takes a seat on one of the fold up chairs beside his truck. He’s smart enough to see what they’re getting at – the way he’d been there talking with you for so long. His friends are smart too. But hopefully not smart enough to see through the facade Tyler puts up to try and convince them that he still dislikes you. 
“Her, Ty? Really? She’s from the Thunder Team.” Boone stares Tyler down.
Tyler has no choice. “Okay, no,” he sighs and takes a long swig of his beer. “We were just talking, and I was just messing around with her.” He was also trying to get the courage to ask you to the rodeo, just the two of you, but he’d chickened out at the last second. “She definitely still hates us, judging by her reaction.”
Truth is, Tyler Owens has been harbouring a secret crush on you for the better part of a year now. It had snuck up on him. He’d hated you at first, thought you were just another stuck up storm chasing student, especially when he found out you were studying for your PhD. But after spending so much time around you, something had changed and all of a sudden, you had a hold over him that you didn’t even realise you had. 
It drives Tyler insane. 
The way he feels when he looks at you is definitely not the way he should be feeling about anyone, letalone the leader of a rival storm chasing team. But here he is. 
The passion he’d seen in your eyes when you’d been chasing storms. The way you talked about them in your captions on social media when you posted photos you’d taken. Even the way you made time to learn more about them through school while being on the road so often.
He was well aware that he was supposed to hate you. And yet, he couldn’t find it in himself to do it anymore.
“You sure that’s all it was?” 
“A hundred percent, Boone.”
He’s thankful when the conversation moves away from you and the Thunder Team. It lets him sit in his own thoughts for a few minutes until he’ll undoubtedly be brought back into the conversation for one reason or another. 
He’s unable to stop his eyes from drifting over to you and your team. You’ve taken a seat on the back of a truck, watching safely from behind the camera as Robbie films Ally again. He tries hard not to smile at the look on your face as you watch your friends, laughing along with the others. The last thing he needs right now is for one of his team to catch him grinning at you like an idiot, especially after convincing them that there’s nothing going on.  
He realises, then, that he’s already in way too deep.
The last thing you expect when you wake up the next morning is to find out that your team made a bet with the Tornado Wranglers when you had gone to bed. 
It’d been raining for most of the night, the ground covered in mud and puddles. The sky was dark and you could just feel that the conditions were perfect for a tornado. You had a good feeling that today would be the day.
Until you learnt about the bet.
“I knew I shouldn’t have left you guys alone.”
Robbie laughs, nearly choking on the piece of bacon he’d been eating. You’ve all come to a nearby diner to fuel up on both food and gas for your cars before what was supposed to be a long day of storm chasing. You have a feeling that it won’t be now that the bet exists.
“Okay, technically it was their fault,” Ally offers.
“Explain.”
“So, we’d had a few drinks, and they had clearly also been drinking, and Harry and I were heading over to the bathrooms to clean up before going to bed – because dental hygiene is important!” Ally begins, forgetting all about her half eaten plate of food. “We were almost there when they called out to us – I forget their names. The blond guy and the one with the mustache, the cute one. Anyway, they suggested a bet. Whoever could hold their liquor the best gets to choose which direction the other team chases in today.”
You stare at Ally. “And you said yes.”
She winces, and then shovels a fork full of eggs into her mouth, nodding so she doesn’t have to give you a proper answer. 
Your team is usually quite well behaved. But even the best of people could get taken advantage of, and you’ve seen it many times first hand with the Tornado Wranglers.  They can hold their liquor very well and wake up the next day with very little consequences from doing so. You’re honestly surprised Ally is even functioning. Harry, on the other hand, you haven’t seen all morning. Unsurprisingly, your team had obviously lost.
“Which direction are we going, then?”
“That’s the catch,” Robbie interjects. “They choose for us before we go. They get to look at the radar first and decide which way is going to be best. And naturally, they’re going to send us in the direction far away from the best chance.” 
You groan and let your head fall into your hands, beginning to ponder your options. You can either deal with the bet and get sent in the entirely wrong direction, or…
Without a second thought, you’re pushing yourself up from the table and heading towards the door of the diner.
“Where are you going!?” Robbie calls after you.
“I’m going to fix this mess!” 
Tyler greets you with a smile that is way too cheerful for both the time of the morning that it is and the situation.
“To what do I owe the pleasure on this fine morning, darlin'?” He asks, leaning up against his truck. He’s holding a coffee in one hand. Good to know he’s human. You’re not surprised that he doesn’t look hungover at all. The man practically resembles a God. 
“Wouldn’t call it a pleasure, honey,” you sigh, deciding to use a nickname just like he always uses for you. You cross your arms over your chest as you stop in front of him. “This bet you made with my team last night. I want it called off.”
Tyler’s breath catches in his throat at the sound of the word honey coming out of your mouth, directed at him. He clears his throat, trying to ignore the way it feels to hear you calling him that. “No can do, I’m afraid. We Tornado Wranglers don’t back down on bets.” 
You narrow your eyes at him. “I’m asking nicely.”
“I think you can ask a little nicer. Maybe throw a please in there,” he says. “You know it wouldn’t look good for your team, though, right? Half the other teams know about the bet.”
For a few moments, you simply just stare at him, hoping he’ll budge. He doesn’t. He stands there staring at you, too, leaning against his truck in an effortlessly attractive way, smiling at you in that same way he always does. It’s like he reserves this specific smile just for you. 
You take a step towards him, testing the waters, and notice the way his breath hitches this time at your close proximity. Did he dislike you that much that you getting this close to him set him on edge? Or was it something else?
“Nothing can change your mind?”
Tyler shakes his head. “I already told you. We don’t back down on our bets.”
“Tyler.” It’s a rare occasion where you call him by his first name, but you figure it can’t hurt to try it. You can see his eyes soften a little at the sound of it. “If you do this, you’re going to send us right off the trail and ruin our chase.”
“Who said I’d send you in the wrong direction?” 
“I’m smarter than you give me credit for.”
“I don’t know, darlin'. I give you a fair bit of credit for being a genius,” he took a sip of his coffee. “You’re the one with the PhD. I didn’t study that much.”
Something about hearing those words sets off that feeling inside your stomach again. You push it down. “I don’t have my PhD yet.”
“No,” Tyler shakes his head. “But you’re close, aren’t you? That’s more than most people around here can say regarding their education on these things.” He points a finger towards the sky, which is rapidly darkening. 
You sigh. He’s right about that. You are close to finishing your PhD, and not many of the other storm chasers around you could say the same. 
“Just tell me which direction we’re going in, Owens.”
He looks at you for a moment. “I’ll give you a choice,” he says, and for a moment hope sparks in your chest that you’ll get to choose your direction – until he continues speaking. “I’ll let this bet go if you make another one with me.”
“What sort of bet?” You cross your arms over your chest.
“Not regarding our teams. Just you and me.”
You’re about to respond when you hear the sound of the van, playing music rather loudly – Harry’s choice – pulling into the motel parking lot behind you. You sigh and turn around to look at them, irritated that this is the second time in less than 24 hours that they’ve interrupted you and Tyler. 
“No luck?” Ally calls out from the passenger seat. 
Behind them, Robbie pulls up in his truck. 
You shake your head and turn back around to face Tyler. There’s no time to make another bet with him now that your team is here and they’re all ready to go. 
“East or west, Owens?”
Tyler turns around and looks at the sky around you. You figure he’s already done his research on the conditions in every direction and that he’s just messing with you, pretending to decide on the spot. Any good storm chaser would have been watching the radars all morning – which you had been, before you found out about the bet. 
“East.” He says, turning back around to face you. “There are two possible formations, so let’s see which one develops. Or, you can ditch your team and come join us for the day. My passenger seat practically has your name on it, darlin’.” 
A small part of you finds yourself wanting to say yes to him. To tell him that you’d love nothing more than to get in his truck and see what a day with the Tornado Wranglers is like. But the reasonable part of you wins out. 
“You’re going to regret making this bet with my team, Owens,” you take a step back from him, giving him his space again. 
“I gave you the choice of another option, but you didn’t take it.”
You ignore him and turn around, heading towards the passenger side of Robbie’s truck – your usual spot when storm chasing. Tyler laughs at your reaction and then gets into his own truck before pressing his hand to the horn, making you jump at the sound, obviously using it to call his team from inside. You shoot him a look over your shoulder and in return, he sends a wink your way.
“May the best team win,” Tyler flashes a grin.
“Oh, we will!”
As much as Tyler hates to admit it, he had sent you in the wrong direction. There were two possible formations, that was true. But it looked very clear that the one to the east wasn’t actually going to develop into anything, and he was sure you would’ve figured that out once you got on the road and actually checked the conditions yourself.
He hates disappointing you. He saw the look on your face as you tried to convince him to call off the bet, the way you wanted to make sure today was a good one for your team. But it isn’t entirely out of competition that he sent you in the wrong direction.
Subconsciously, he did it to try and keep you safe.
If you’re out of the way of the tornado, then it’s a weight off of Tyler’s chest. He wouldn’t admit that to his team, but it felt good to think about himself. That you’d be safe. Besides, he had tried to get you out of it by making another bet with you, but he knew that you wouldn’t humour him the second he saw your team arrive. 
He presses his foot down on the accelerator, watching the clouds ahead of them. Something is going to form. He knows it. He just hopes it’s a good one, something worth chasing. 
In the passenger seat, Boone is keeping a good eye on the clouds to the east. He’s filming as well, live streaming as usual. 
“You were right, Ty,” Boone says, pointing the camera out the window towards the east. “That one’s gonna give us nothing. It’s already disappearing.”
Tyler lets out a breath of relief. You’re out of harms way and even though he knows you’d be annoyed at him if you ever found out, he can’t seem to find it in himself to feel bad about the fact. He had felt bad about the bet when you’d been talking to him, but now he realises that keeping the bet was a good idea.
“This one’s gonna be a good one, I can feel it,” he says, eyeing the clouds above them. 
Then, it happens – the tornado forms right in front of them. It’s already huge, bigger than any tornado Tyler has seen in the past few months.
Boone whoops in the seat beside him, moving the camera to film the tornado through the windshield. 
“Just look at that beauty!” He exclaims. 
Tyler can’t keep the smile off of his face as they drive closer to it. He stops the car once they get close enough, anchoring it to the ground as usual, watching as it gets closer and closer to the truck. 
“Oh, this is gonna be fun,” Tyler yells, straight to the camera that Boone is holding in his face. “Let’s do this!”
It’s only a split second later that his heart drops to his stomach. He watches as the tornado, once coming right towards them, veers off course. It’s heading east. And it’s growing in size. 
He looks out of the passenger window and in the distance, he can see your truck. It’s white, so bright under the dark sky. You’re going to be right in its path.
He sent you in the wrong direction to try and get you out of harms way, and instead he’s sent you in the exact direction the tornado is heading. There’s no way you can get out of its path in time. 
Tyler suddenly feels like he can barely breathe.
“Turn the camera off, Boone,” he commands, and then he’s removing the anchors from the ground and pressing his foot down onto the accelerator before he can even really think about it, even though there’s no way he can reach you in time with how quickly the tornado is moving towards you.
Boone, thankfully, listens, ending the stream, putting the camera down and picking up the radio to try and reach you. He’s realised what’s happening. Tyler tries to ignore the panic he feels when there’s no answer.
He can’t lose you like this. Not now. Not when he never really even had you. Not when you didn’t even know the way he felt about you. He’d been an asshole, a fool, making that bet. If he hadn’t, none of this would have happened.
“Please be okay, please be okay.” He mutters it under his breath like it’s a mantra. He doesn’t care what Boone thinks. If he says it enough, maybe he can make it come true.
You’ve seen tornadoes before. You’ve been close to them before. But you’ve never had one quite this size coming straight at you. You hadn’t expected this. 
When Tyler sent you east, Robbie had checked the radar and noticed that the cells out here were much less likely to form a tornado compared to the ones west. You’d gone anyway, figuring you’d try your chances, leaving Ally, Harry and the rest of your team a little further back, trying to get as close as you could before you realised your tornado was going to amount to nothing at all.
You and Robbie had been watching the tornado forming west of you, wishing you had been able to chase that one rather than do what the Tornado Wranglers told you. 
And then, it changed course.
“Get out of the car! We need to run!” Robbie undoes his seatbelt as he speaks and it doesn’t take you long to follow suit, undoing your own and jumping out of the truck.
He takes off at a run ahead of you just as the rain begins.
Your heart is beating faster in your chest than you think it ever has before. Your legs burn at the pace you’re running, your feet sinking into and skidding through the muddy paddock thanks to the heavy rain last night and the rain growing even heavier now. It slows you down, but your adrenaline pushes you faster. You can’t stop, not now. Not when there’s a possible EF4 on your tail, getting closer to you with every breath you take.
You make a mistake, then, deciding to look back at it. 
The sight of it only makes you run faster, but when you turn back, fear strikes through your system as you realise you can’t see Robbie anymore. 
The wind isn’t strong enough to have pulled him back into it, not when he was running ahead of you, but you can’t help but think of the worst possible scenario as your gaze narrows in on a gully just ahead of you. Maybe he made it there before you and now he’s just waiting.
The wind from the tornado picks up trees and branches and other debris, sending things spinning through the air. You feel something slice across your leg and cry out at the sudden pain, but there’s no time to inspect the damage as you slide down the small hill into the gully, the mud going everywhere as you hit the bottom. 
You don’t even have time to scan for Robbie as you press yourself down onto the ground of the gully, covering your head with your hands and pressing your face into the ground. You try to ignore the feeling of the mud and dirt on your skin, the throbbing pain in your leg, the rain pelting down on your back, soaking you to the bone, and try to keep breathing steadily despite being out of breath from the run and the adrenaline. 
You can’t panic now. If you panic now, you’re dead. 
The tornado gets closer and you can hear it. Hear the wind rushing through the air, hear the sound of trees being ripped out of the ground. Hear the crashing sound of the truck being picked up and thrown by it. 
Everything is okay,  you tell yourself, like a mantra. Everything is going to be okay. Because if you tell yourself enough, maybe it will come true.
By the time Tyler gets to the place where your truck had been, the tornado is gone and so is your truck. He barely even has time to put his own truck into park before he’s jumping out of it and calling your name. 
Boone is quick to follow him.
Tyler’s eyes narrow in on something in the distance – the remnants of your truck. It’s sitting upside down, the cab crushed in and all the glass broken. Even some of the wheels are missing. His heart almost stops.
No, you would have been smart enough to get out. You wouldn’t have stayed in the truck. He knows that. He believes that. It was one of the first things any storm chaser learnt – never stay in your car, it’s better to take your chances outside of it.
He stops in the middle of the field and takes a long, deep breath to try and calm himself down when he hears the sound of someone yelling out.
“Hey, I need some help over here!”
It’s a male voice, not belonging to you, which is the first sign that makes Tyler realise something is wrong. He recognises Robbie immediately, even though he’s drenched in rain and covered in mud and blood.
Boone runs off towards him and Tyler follows.
“Where is she?” He cuts in as Boone begins asking Robbie where he’s been hurt. “Were you with her? Where is she?” 
He knows he’s being a little irrational. He should be kinder, especially when he’s the reason Robbie was even in this tornado in the first place, but his mind is narrowed in on you, on making sure you’re okay. He’s never been more terrified that he’s lost you in his life.
“I don’t know,” Robbie shakes his head. “She was behind me, and then I jumped down into this little dam and she never came in after me.” 
Tyler doesn’t let him say anything else before he takes off running. He knows Boone can handle Robbie. His only concern is finding you. He calls out your name again and again and again, willing you to respond to just one of them.
He only hears silence.
The second you wake up, you push yourself up, getting your face out of the mud and opening your eyes, trying to adjust them to the sudden brightness now that the tornado has disappeared. 
You’re vaguely aware of the sound of someone calling out your name, but it sounds fuzzy, far away. Your head is spinning and you’re pretty sure you could be imagining it.
You put a hand up to the side of your face, feeling the sticky sensation of blood on your hands. Something must have hit your head and knocked you out during the tornado. You can only remember something hitting your leg as you’d slid down into the gully. How long have you been lying here? Minutes? Hours? Days, even?
Looking around, you can see the devastation caused by the tornado. There are trees and branches everywhere, and with the rain, it’s made it even muddier – and probably impossible to climb out of, especially with your injuries. You finally allow yourself to inspect your leg, noticing a deep cut across your shin, ripping your jeans. Your leg starts to throb as you finally allow yourself to recognise the pain. 
With a deep breath, you try and push yourself to your feet. It’s slippery down here thanks to all the mud and rain, and you manage to stand for just a second before your leg buckles and sends you crashing back down. At least it’s a fairly soft landing.
You curse under your breath just as you hear movement above you. Your eyes flicker towards the direction of the sound, and when you see Tyler Owens appear at the edge of the gully just to the right of you, you nearly feel like you could cry.
“Tyler!” You manage to call out to him, though your voice is weak.
His head spins towards your voice, eyes widening as he sees you. You must look like a mess, covered in all the blood and dirt, but you knows he doesn’t care. Especially with the way he slides down into the gully and stumbles towards you, getting covered in mud himself in the process.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He falls to his knees in front of you, his hands moving to cup your cheeks and move your head from side to side. He’s quick to check the wound on your head where the blood is coming from. “You’re okay, darlin’, it doesn’t look too deep.”
You can see the panic in his eyes as he scans you, scans your whole body looking for injuries. You can also tell from the look on his face when he looks at your shin that your injury there is worrisome. 
“It’s my fault,” Tyler shakes his head, refusing to move his hands from your cheeks. It’s as if you’ll fade away if he lets go. “I shouldn’t have told you to go east. I was just trying to get you out of the way of the tornado cause I felt that yours wasn’t gonna develop, but then ours changed course and it was heading straight towards you and I couldn’t get here fast enough and god, the idea of losing you, of never seeing you again, of never asking–”
“Tyler!” 
He stops talking, having not even realised that he had let the situation get the better of him and had been rambling on. When he meets your eyes, you’re shocked to see that there are tears in his. 
“You never call me by my first name.”
“I didn’t think I’d be able to get your attention if I didn’t.”
Your reach up and take one of his hands off of your face and weave your fingers between his. You don’t really know what you’re doing, exactly, but all you know is you need to comfort him. That and you’re shaking like a leaf and the feeling of holding his hand is like an anchor to the world. A reminder that you’re alive. 
“I’m still here, Tyler. I’m all right.”
“You’re not,” he shakes his head. “You’re hurt, and it’s because of me–”
You take him by surprise as you reach up and place your own hand on his cheek. It’s only when you touch his face that you remember your hand is covered in blood and mud, but when you try and take it away, Tyler places his hand over the top of it. His eyes flutter closed and he lets out a long breath that feels to you that it’s something like relief.
The two of you stay there like that for what feels like an eternity but is really just a few minutes, soaking in the feeling of each others skin and coming to terms with the realisation that you’re alive. 
“It’s not your fault, Tyler,” you mutter softly. “You couldn’t have known that tornado was going to change course and head straight for us. Just because that bet ended up landing us in the path of a probable EF4 doesn’t mean you’re the one to blame for it. I don’t blame you.”
He blinks his eyes open and stares at yours for a moment. 
“Now, what were you saying about asking me something?” You try to change the subject.
There’s a look of something in Tyler’s eyes that you can’t quite place, but it drops off of his face instantly at your words and he lets out an awkward laugh. “I don’t think now’s the right time, darlin’,” he says. “Some other time, when you’re not bleeding and injured. We need to get you out of here and to a hospital.”
You shake your head, ignoring the fact that the movement makes you a little dizzy. “I could have just died and I would have never known what it is you wanted to ask me. So I want to know what it is right now.” You’re surprised at how strong your voice sounds, even though you don’t feel strong at all right now.
Tyler sighs and you can see by the look on his face that he’s giving in to you. “I was trying to get the courage to ask you out, was trying last night actually but I chickened out. You can be quite intimidating sometimes, you know that?”
For a moment, you just stare at Tyler. 
“I thought I was the one who hit my head. Did you hit yours too?”
He lets out a soft laugh. “Something like that.”
“You need another reminder that we’re supposed to hate each other?”
Tyler shakes his head. “I think I’ve had enough reminders to last me a lifetime. But I’m done with pretending to hate you. With trying to convince my team that I dislike you so much. I know they know the truth. It doesn’t matter, even though you can’t stand me.” 
You meet Tyler’s eyes and in them, you can see that he’s telling the truth. He doesn’t hate you, nor dislike you, nor anything similar. With the way he’s looking at you, the way he was calling your name, the way he panicked so much when he thought you were seriously hurt… he really was trying to ask you out. Just the thought of it makes that feeling rise in your stomach again, and for the first time you recognise the feeling for what it truly is – butterflies. You don’t get butterflies from people you hate.
“I don’t hate you, Tyler.”
You can see the surprise flash across his eyes.
“You don’t hate me?”
“You annoy the hell out of me and you drive me insane sometimes. But no. You fascinate me, and you make me laugh, and even though every member of my team hates you and your stupid red truck, I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to be in the passenger seat with you, driving head first into a tornado, and I nearly said yes when you asked me earlier.”
Tyler chuckles. “My truck is not stupid.”
“Does your passenger seat really have my name on it?”
“Embroidered it myself.”
You laugh, then, a real, full laugh, and Tyler can’t help but laugh as well at the absurdity of the situation. You’ve just survived a devastating tornado, you’re injured in more ways than one, Tyler Owens has just told you he likes you and you’ve come to the realisation that you like the fact that he does. And maybe, you like him a little bit too.
“We’re not gonna make it to that rodeo tonight, are we?” You ask, once the laughs subside.
Tyler shakes his head. “Rain check for the next one?”
“That’s how you’re asking me out?”
He doesn’t get a chance to reply before you both hear your names being called and look up just as Boone and Robbie appear at the top of the gully. Tyler turns around to look at them. They look relieved to have found you both, and you feel just as relieved to see that Robbie is alive and well, only a little battered just like you are. Even if you’re a little disappointed that your moment with Tyler was interrupted. It seems that happens more often than not lately.
“Is she okay?” Boone asks Tyler.
He nods. “Yeah, but she’s injured. We’re gonna need a hand out of here.”
“We got you,” Boone says.
“So, when are you asking me out properly, Owens?” You ask.
It’s been a week since the tornado and a week since you found out that Tyler Owens had been wanting to ask you out for months. Boone had stayed true to his word that day, using a rope and Tyler’s truck to pull you both up out of the gully.
Tyler had barely left your side since – even in the truck ride to the hospital. He usually hated letting anyone drive his truck other than himself, but that day he’d thrown the keys to Boone so he didn’t have to take any of his attention off of you. He’d stayed with you in the hospital as well, even when the rest of your team turned up to check on you and Robbie.
You were surprised at how quickly your teams had dropped their rivalry after the tornado. They’d clearly seen the way you and Tyler acted around each other, how things had changed after the tornado, even though both of you refused to give them details on what had happened when Tyler had found you in the gully. 
It was something both of you were glad for.
“You can’t just ask me that,” Tyler says, kicking his legs up on the desk in the small motel room. Luckily, he’d taken off his muddy boots when he’d come inside to check on you. He had insisted you go back home to recover from your leg injury, but you’d refused. 
“I can’t?” You ask from your spot on the bed, resting your leg up on some pillows. It had luckily not been too bad of an injury, just a reasonably deep cut that needed stitching and wrapping. You still had to be careful not to rip the stitches, which meant no storm chasing and only resting for the time being. 
Tyler nods. “You made me admit the truth to you while we were both covered in mud and blood in the bottom of a wet, muddy gully. I’m not going to ask you out while you’re sitting on a motel room bed with an injured leg and stitches in your forehead. I’m classier than that.”
You snort. “You, classy?”
“From time to time,” he shrugs a shoulder.
You jokingly roll your eyes at him. “I’ll believe it when I see it. You know, you never actually explained what the other bet you wanted to make with me that day was. Was that something to do with asking me out as well?”
Tyler’s face broke out into a grin. “Maybe.”
“Of course,” you can’t help but laugh at the silly look on his face. “Are you at least going to ask me before I get swept up in another tornado?”
“Darlin’,” Tyler stands up and crosses the room until he’s standing right beside you. One of his hands reaches down and picks up yours, weaving his fingers in-between yours. “If you get swept up in a tornado, I’m going to be right beside you. I’m gonna be beside you for as long as you let me. For as long as I get. As long as I get, okay?”
He repeats it like a mantra. Because if he says it enough, he’s certain it will come true.
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