#I guess I’m supposed to care abt getting it back like sure yeah I deserve it too
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none-tadashi-left-hiro · 8 months ago
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can you guys all please actually actually be so kind to each other and I mean it tangibly like stop being a coward about what you’ll lose cause it doesn’t fucking matter more than being kind and you know it just fucking do what you can we’ve already lost so much what is the fucking cost of being kind to you anymore. people are so fucking desensitized to their own bullshit they’re dealing with like they’re so casual and blaise and ignorant about things that even harm them directly like why not at least be kind about it why not at least deal with the bullshit that comes from being kind instead i am so sad abt this why do people have to make it so hard. like I get capitalism and colonialism and whatever plays into people being raised to be unkind but are we that fucking fallible like that really fucking sucks bro
#tagged#maybe I’m finally processing my emotions after pulling off the thing and maybe that’s good but I just don’t fucking know man#it fucking sucks#it could be 6 months of emotions I haven’t been able to fully process happening all at once#but it’s also like#am I just never gonna get closure on humans sucking ass as much as they do#am I never gonna get closure on the sheer amount of humans failing to be a safety net for the people who aren’t so kind bc turns out they#aren’t kind either#am i just gonna be fucked up abt this forever like I have been my entire life#like holy fuck god damn I am fucked up and all I can seem to do about it is try not to be fucked up to other people to keep myself sane#but what about me hello#is this the woman experience like#idk what to do bc almost no one is kind to me in a way I can fully trust#so I guess I’ll just bleed out kindness for others till I die I guess#and if I’m lucky it’ll teach them how to be kind back to me#but some people you can never be kind enough to I guess#is that really true#I get it’s to protect you from staying with toxic people forever#but what about never giving up on people what about being kind just to be kind#I don’t care abt being glorified for being kind i just want to know the kindness had an impact#I guess I’m supposed to care abt getting it back like sure yeah I deserve it too#but is that actually going to ever happen#so like whatever I’ll just keep being kind until I’m out and I just disintegrate quietly into the wind while no one even seems to like#sit with me and the weight of what I’m going through about it and really really try to be there for me even if I talk about it#I really am going though it holy fucking god damn#I thought I was mostly feeling more fucked around my period but it is a week after my period and I’m just feeeeeeling it Whoo#like I’ve slowly realized how often I’ve felt incredibly anxious and fucked up and then try to just go abt my day but it is so much more#than usual#and none of the therapists I’d maybe trust are taking insurance#how the fuck can you even start a therapist relationship when you want to vent abt covid and None of them are fucking masking anymore
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makeste · 3 years ago
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i don't get it tbh. the apology shouldn't have been here. it was in the middle of everything and it had basically no impact on deku whatsoever? this was sooooo no what i was expecting and tbh i'm kinda mad about it ngl lol also ngl times twice but if whatever ochaco says does reach him instead of the kacchan apology that's been built up as the emotional climax for the entire series i'm just flat out gonna drop this manga lmao. but this was barely an emotional climax at all, i really don't get it
2/2 like we get just a few pages? shoved in there like "okay everyone talked now kacchan disappears from the chapter, that's over and done with, moving on" the apology itself was great, but the placement and brevity undermined its emotional resonance. deku remains the exact same after hearing it, doesn't think about katsuki at all. just about his earlier "can't keep up" words? then we go on to ochaco whose "saving heroes even though that's what everyone has been doing" i guess is more important?
3/3 (last one promise) like i'm sorry but there was time for several chaps of endeavor ugly crying, for mineta's anal beads and pervy romantic trope non-confession, for overhaul to pop up being his usual piece of shit self for no plot-relevant reason, for adult top heroes to stand around for chapters like "huh everything we're doing is awful. let's keep on trusting this smelly kid" and. a few panels for kacchan apology. no reaction. shoved among "idk u well mido but stay!" + ochaco making faces
4/4 (i lied) and all this after katsuki's distress and emotions were once more made into jokes at the hospital, emotional consequences of the war ignored, w all might probably dying and the last thing he did to this kid was ditch him leaving us to guess he maybe gives a shit abt him and maybe he bothered to visit in the hospital cuz they sure didn't show shit. i honestly feel like all katsuki stuff was shoved into the background: krbk friendship for mina, dkbk for ofa, name reveal for jokes...
okay, so I have talked in the past about fandom reacting like Miette whenever this stuff happens, and tbh this is basically what I mean by that anon. there is no reason whatsoever to assume that this is the one and only reaction we'll ever get from Deku regarding the apology and that it will never come up again. this is 100% going to be revisited. and tbh I think it's a smart move on Horikoshi's part, because if he gave us everything in this one chapter then what further development would there be to look forward to? he's gotta hold something back so that we have that one last milestone to anticipate in the rebuilding of their relationship. I've often said that for me me, Deku and Kacchan's story is the most important part of BnHA. and so it makes sense to me for Horikoshi to not completely resolve it until close to the end of the series, if not the very end.
I think this is a pretty good compromise honestly, because I wasn't even sure if we were going to get the apology itself before the finale. but this way we can head into the final battle with Kacchan having put all of his character development out there and not holding anything back, and it's nice to have that, and to have that reinforcement of just how far he's come, and how serious he is about his atonement. and so his feelings are finally all on the table now, and now it's all Deku.
and he deserves to have some time to work out how he feels about this and not be put on the spot to deliver a reaction, honestly. but to say it had "no impact whatsoever" is a huge overreaction imo. first of all, we saw the shock on his face -- he was absolutely floored. this was something he clearly never expected from Kacchan (which is why it was so important for Kacchan to actually say the words, in addition to taking action as he's already done -- because Deku needed to hear them, because he genuinely had no idea that Kacchan actually cared. and he deserves to know that, because Kacchan is one of the most important people in the world to him). not to mention that Deku kind of has a million other things on his mind right now. like we just had a whole entire arc about that lol. the apology isn't supposed to be for Kacchan's benefit; it's supposed to be for Deku's. so let him have the time to absorb it before he settles on what to say. Kacchan had all the time in the world to figure out his part of it, after all.
to me this is like a promise that there will be at least one last great, emotional, and deeply personal moment between the two of them. because when Deku finally does forgives him -- not that he hasn't already, imo, but once they finally have that conversation -- that shit is going to be so fucking cathartic, and tbh I'm glad Horikoshi didn't try to cram that into this chapter along with everything else that's currently going on. besides, I'd rather see that part of their reconciliation happen once Deku is more back to his normal self again; I feel like it would be more meaningful that way. right now he's too exhausted to be able to come up with any words. but he already has shown the best possible reaction I could have ever hoped for -- complete and utter relief and trust. Kacchan is the person he trusted enough that he could finally let go of his fears and anxieties -- if only for a moment -- and give into his exhaustion at long last, and that moment where he collapses and Kacchan runs to catch him has instantly become one of my favorites in the whole series.
so yeah, my apologies anon, but absolutely nothing is gonna spoil that for me, and I can't join you here in being even remotely disappointed with this chapter. well aside from the lack of hug lol (but I can be patient for that as well).
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macamonium · 3 years ago
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god help
I'm writing this thing and it's gonna make me cry lol
this is (hopefully) gonna be part of a larger fic, but as I was jotting down the outline this just dripped out. its abt self-love thru good food and Bakugou learning to forgive himself the right way
maybe tw for eating disorder stuff, though that's not what the fic will be about
Bakugou emptied a full-sodium packet of beef bouillon into the pan. The smell drafted through the dorm’s empty kitchen, and his mind wandered with it.
He knew, regrettably, that he reflexively went for the full-sodium bouillon because of his mom. Mitsuki had the same impatience for low-fat and low-calorie “diet” foods that she did for backtalk and attitude. She scoffed at the TV whenever it lit up with commercials of dancing, ever-thinning crackers, or the new zero-calorie alternative for something that was never meant to be low-calorie. Sour cream, for chrissakes! It’s fucking dairy, it’s meant to be that way!
She lectured Bakugou about it when he was really little, on some Saturday in the middle of summer. He was inside for the afternoon nursing an injury from what he reported was a particularly slippery log in the forest. Really, it was payback from a sore-loser gang of fifth graders. So his ankle wasn’t really twisted, but his chin sure was bruised - that log had a mean right hook. No way in hell was he letting the neighborhood kids see his face like that, so he was there, in the kitchen, pretending to take extra care of his left foot while Mitsuki made them lunch.
Stirring the curry in his own pan, which was now simmering, Bakugou could picture it more clearly than he had in a long, long while. He had been sitting on the farthest barstool - yeah, it was that one because one of the legs was loose and he was rocking back and forth, back and forth, and when his head swung along with it his mom’s hands, stirring the pan, popped in and out of view from behind the milk carton. He smiled softly to himself now, taking stock of how he was standing. How similar it was. Was she making curry that day?
If Bakugou couldn’t remember exactly what she said, he could make a pretty good guess on how she’d phrase it. He just knew her that well. He could hear her now - it'd have gone something like this:
“You see, when they first started puttin’ the nutrition facts on the packages of food products, back in, like, the 1920s, the chemists had a field day. I mean, really, they ran that industry.”
Katsuki didn’t know what industry was, but he liked hearing his mama talk.
“And at that time, chemistry wasn’t what it is now. It wasn’t molecules and atomic structure and that kinda thing, it was grams of this and milliliters of that. Still, that was more than regular people knew, so it was left to the specialists.”
She held the spatula out for him to lick. He took it in two chubby hands.
“More spice, mama.”
“Whatever you say, baby. And wipe your chin.” He used the bottom of his shirt, but she didn’t say anything. His dad wasn’t around for that kind of thing.
“Don’t get me wrong, knowing what’s in your food is great.” She gestured carelessly with the lick-marked spatula before plunging it back into the curry. “Certainly better than whatever was going on before. They used to put cocaine in Coca-Cola, you know.”
“What’s cocaine, mama?”
“A drug, baby. Makes you go crazy for a while. Don’t go trying it, and don’t go repeating it - though I suppose that’s hard in earnest, it’s what the ‘Coca’ in Coca-Cola is named after.”
“It’s named after D-RUGS??” Katsuki sat forward in his seat, but the squeaky leg cursed a whine at him and he sat back.
“That’s right: Drugs,” Mitsuki said to her eight-year old, her eyes wide. “Though people don’t make that connection anymore so they didn’t ever rebrand. They used to drink Coca-Cola when people got sick. It cleared out your sinuses, sure, but it also made you shout really loud and go streaking through the park. Ha! Anyway, where was I?”
“The. Uh… oh, the nutriss- nuturish-”
“Ah, nutritional facts. Say it with me, baby: Nutrition. Noo-trish-un.”
“Nutrition,” they said together. Katsuki smiled. Bet dumb Deku doesn’t know that one.
“So, the legacy of old-fashioned chemistry is that the nutritional value of foods isn’t really evaluated beyond the physical makeup of the food.” These were big words but Katsuki got the gist, and Mitsuki knew that. “It doesn’t tell you what those things do for you and your body, beyond ‘fat is bad, protein is good,’ and even that’s just considered on a physical level in regards to your body. There is so much more to food mentally, and emotionally, that goddamn counts as nutrition.”
“God-damn.”
“Yeah, don’t say that,” she said half-heartedly. “And I don’t just mean ‘veg out whenever you need it solely because it makes you feel good.’ Don’t totally disregard physical nutrition. I mean that food making you feel good shouldn't be totally disregarded either. Spices, for instance.” Katsuki cheered from his seat. “Yeah, you like spice.
“Food should taste good. It drives me up the goddamn wall when I see those health bitches on the TV drain out the grease from their meat. Right down the sink. That’s what makes it taste good! If you don’t want grease, eat turkey! And the ‘nutritional’ benefits of draining the grease hardly outweigh the emotional satisfaction of a good-tasting meal. At that point, it’s just a practice in self-sabotage, in pointless, self-inflicted suffering. And for what, so you get kudos from Nestle, who happens to be rolling out their new line of trans-fat free crackers? Please.”
She ladled the curry onto a plated bed of rice with a sigh. The smell made Katsuki’s tummy gurgle. He licked his lips really slowly, the same way he saw Spongebob do on the TV that morning.
“Anyway, my point is - when something tastes good, that’s good nutrition. Being healthy is being happy, and if the food you’re eating makes you happy, that is healthy. I’ll eat my pickles whole from the jar, even if Dr. Oz gives me a lip about ‘it’s too much sodium,’ and do you know why? Because I love the crunch of a fresh pickle, and I know that as sure as I know that there’s two grams of carbs in it because the sticker on the side tells me so. I know I love it so I do it, and that’s a beautiful thing. That’s something I deserve.”
She slid the steaming plate, loaded with peas, potatoes, and carrots in curry, across the table to her son. He reached for the fork, but she snapped it away at the last second. Katsuki looked into his mom’s eyes. “Say it back to me, baby: ‘Food should taste good.’”
“Food should taste good, mama.”
“I deserve this good food.”
“I… I deserve this good food.”
“That’s my baby, now eat up.”
A tear squeezed through Bakugou’s eyes at the memory, and fell down his cheek into the pan. He didn’t even remember the last part until it all ran through his head.
God, he couldn’t help it, and there was no one around to prove anything to - he made the effort to muffle himself with shallow breaths, but he let the tears flow free and hot down their tracks. This time they reached his chin. He asked the ceiling, berating himself on how foolish he was to think it would answer: did he still even deserve it?
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alotsgonnachange · 4 years ago
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Mystic Messenger Saeran’s AE Thoughts (.......And Prayers..) #Spoilerz
Hello, I just finished Saeran’s after ending and I have a lot of things to say and I am going to write it down while I'm still all keyed up about it.
First of all… Please DO NOT ask me how much money I spent to finish this as fast as I did…. I’m grown but my bank account is certainly going to have a good ole fashioned CHUCKLE at this….. It’s been a long quarantine I deserve a lil happiness as a treat methinks!
I have been playing this absolutely insane game since I think 2016? When I first started playing the deep routes had JUST come out I think? And I was just finishing up high school and am now a college grad...lmao
I’ve played all routes at least once except Jaehee but i’ve seen walkthroughs of her route (I’ve heard it makes you hate Jumin and he’s my favorite so um. hehe). V’s and Saeran’s routes I found to be so emotionally intense and just….a lot and I've been waiting a long ass god damn time for this after ending okay…. I would theorize and make up an ending in my head but i’m no writer so it was hard to figure out lol. I’m a Jumin stan mostly but I love everybody and yeah I should probably play that jumin dlc too but I need like a DAY to recover from Saeran’s AE. Enough about me HERE are my thoughts on it overall
Major Saeran AE Spoilers under da cut!
Can we please discuss V showing up to the C+R conference room with basically chloroform and made everybody Pass Out like??? I was alone in my room at like midnight just SCREAMING at my phone???? And the creepy ass CG ???? It’s like that gif of sarah paulson from ahs being like “I put arsenic in the wine….and the pasta”
Anyway I screamed at V a lot during this process!!
Loved RFA being sweet and kind to saeran (before V fucking drugged them…)
This is such common V behavior “I have to do it all myself...there’s no other way..” GIRL SHUT UPPP You do this every route....
SO many CG’s and I enjoy them a lot
Saeran’s sprite looks a little TOO crisp compared to everyone else but maybe its a glitch??? V next to him is in 480p while saeran is like 1080p
Hearing both Saeran and Saeyoung missing the other brother the whole time??? PAIN. All my homies know is PAIN
BOSS and his V for Vendetta ass guy fawkes mask??? I literally yelled “this game is TERRIBLE!!” several times at my phone
Their dad is so>??????? When he was sitting on the couch with saeyoung in that one CG while simultaneously telling him to kill himself?????????? Maybe chairman han is actually the best dad in this game somehow
When V and Rika were like we’re back together teehee teehee okay pack it up bonnie and clyde ..
When chairman han calls u and says hes jealous of u and saeran…..HUH????? I’m calling HR
When they go to the apartment and see boss and vanderwood and poor saeyoung is sitting there seeing his brother for the first time in years i wanted to D word sooooo bad like PAIN...PAIN….
Can we HAVE A DISCUSSION ABOUT JUMIN HAN BEING THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE GAME AND HE LOST EVERYTHING IN THIS AE……. he just took the blame and moved on jumin what the hell….. I love him so much r we serious? He watched his 2 closest friends betray him in the worst way and found out abt how Rika abused Saeyoung and Saeran???? I felt just AWFUL. Terrible ...Terrible….
Rika’s change in demeanor from Saeran's actual route is certainly a Choice. I find her much more bearable this time around and unfortunately i think I was too nice to her and ended up with a bad end LMFAO
I was happy to see Saeran stand up for himself and become stronger and confident. You go king!
The CG of Yoosung laying in Zen’s lap is everything to me…
HOWEVER YUP I sure did get a bad ending and I was so mad fdsafdskfdhsf ! (I would be happy to clarify how I got the good one the second time.) MAKE SURE To SAVE EARLY in days 2 and 3 bc the branches on day 4 is where the bad end will show up. For me it was the first day 4 chat and then a story mode titled “SAVIOR”.... If you see that RUN FOR THE HILLS!!
I was so mad! But I had saved in day 2 and replayed and MANAGED to get good end
I’m obsessed with everyone calling V and Rika “that psychotic couple” like…..its true its true…
No those two are so toxic… V’s route was torture watching them go on and on about the sun like yo can yall just call each other babe like normal people.
I respect straight people but not V and RIka that shit was just wrong… Straight marriage was a mistake
Oh lord i also FULLY Forgot Rika killed the twins’ mother…. Yeah that scene was um Certainly a lot but it needed to happen eventually
Like it’s good they know but damn that storyline is just so bleak
I think it was satisfying TO A DEGREE….To see Rika understand where she was wrong, why she was wrong, fess up and even APOLOGIZE! I was very surprised.
Saeran and Saeyoung are Certainly twins with the amount that those two self sacrifice in every route MY GOD…..
The scene with Jumin talking to his father and the other scene of him praying oh my god I cannot tell you how happy I was to see him begin to understand and address his own feelings in a route that was not his own. My main problem with Jumin’s route has always been the trapping MC in his penthouse aspect.. This way Jumin understands love and emotions without being overly possessive !!! YAY also loved seeing him be on good terms with his dad who was surprisingly profound
That last Story mode was Really a Lot…. and Strange things occurred which I will get into in just a minute
Jumin becoming a politician is so funny but ngl … i see it.
Yoosung going to france to study pastries ok king I see u! (it made more sense to me than the vet thing anyway)
Lastly Zen FURRY ERA
MY BEEF With the AE
I was happy with how they handled it for the most part. I think Cheritz heard our feedback about V’s after ending and was like okay….let’s try something different
HOWEVER
Saeran…. Sweet kind saeran… IS SO AFFECTIONATE HAHA….
He must have said I love you like 300 times…..very mushy gushy flowery language...and maybe that’s just his personality but for me it was like eating cake with buttercream cake. It means well, but god damn is it sugary and going to cause a stomach ache later.
He was just… SO MUCH! SO forward and ON all the time in his affections. I honestly felt kind of smothered and by day 3 and 4 I was sooooo over all the compliments… King you’ve come a very long way, but ur still putting MC on a pedestal and probably need to see a therapist.
Nextly….Rika and V….. Naw that knock out gas really ...that hurt lol. Coming from “I would do anything to protect RFA” V? Idk like…. EYE felt betrayed reading that. It was just hurtful. I can’t even imagine how the members would have felt as they were passing out. It was just so cruel. I suppose I understand why but like?? Just TERRIBLE
Them being in cahoots with the agency and the prime minister..HUH??? Also too much
V just felt so irresponsible like I do understand that he ended up in a weird web of secrets that’s hard to untangle but he’s so fucking stubborn he’s SO stubborn it makes me insane. Like sir… It seems like in other routes he wanted to try to protect Rika and the RFA.. But in this AE it seems more to me that he was like yeah i’m protecting Rika and That’s It… so fucking hurtful to me. Both of y’all apologize ESPECIALLY to the twins and Jumin..
The forgiveness thing…… Okay so I think some people will not like that Saeran decided to “forgive” the people who hurt him (Rika, V, Saejoong, his mother). I would point out that I actually think this was approached somewhat well. He says at one point that he doesn’t think they’re good or bad, just people. I think he sounded mature and like this was the way for him personally to accomplish his healing process. Would I have loved for Saeran to flip V and Rika off and kick Saejoong off a cliff? Yea I really would. But like…. If that’s what HE needs to do to heal then who am I to judge?
HOWEVER…. Everything Eye just said goes out the window when the scenes at the end with Saejoong come up… I was PERPLEXED. Like why did he HUG his deranged father who just kicked the shit out of him??? Also all the chat options that MC has with him r like blah blah you’re like this because no one loves you were so corny to me LMFAOOOO?
AND WHEN HE WAS IN THE ROOM LATER WITH SAERAN… i’m sorry but if that were me I would have called a nurse to deck his ass. Cool he turned himself in YOU SUCK SOOOO BAD AND I NEVER WANT YOU TO COME NEAR SAEYOUNG AND SAERAN AGAIN THANKS.
*scratches ass* I wish I got to see saeyoung and saeran finally sit down and have that first conversation after a long time and hug CG but the ending was fine I GUESS….. I dont care about ROMANCE I want those boys to be happy brothers together
Anyway that was really emotionally exhausting but I fr think I got it out of my system after literal years… And I can rest in peace knowing the choi twins are happy. THATS ALL I WANTED TO KNOW!!!!
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uwu-shinsou · 4 years ago
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First,,,, CONGRATS ON 500 BB!! YOU DESERVED IT!! And uhhh if it's not much a bother can I request Shinsou Hitoshi with 6 and 13 (if it's alright! If youre not comfortable with doing it you can do whatever youre comfortable with, I care abt your well being more than the fic that Im requesting) and I dont really uh care if its hc or a drabble or smth cuz im inlove with anything and everything that you make! Again congrats! Have a nice day :))
Title: Whatever You Say
Prompt: Accidental Text, Hate-to-Love
Warning(s): Mild language
Pairing: Shinsou Hitoshi X Gender Neutral!Reader
Genre: Drabble, working through feelings
Word Count: 1.3K
A/N: THANK YOU ISSA!! 🥺💖I’m so glad you requested!! Bc I’m trying to keep these shorter like “drabbles” I had a hard time doing like,, full on hate to love so this is more like resentment to friends with implications of hidden feelings?? AHAHA but uhhh yeah, I hope you all enjoy 🥺and in case you missed it, my last year of college has started, so I will be updating less frequently, but I will still be around and writing and vibing!🤗
500 Event Masterlist
✿ .✿ .✿ .✿ .✿
Oh shit.
You flew down the hall, bursting into Kaminari’s bedroom without knocking. The blonde sat up quickly at your intrusion, but relaxed slightly upon seeing it was you.
“What’s up speed racer?” He joked, folding his legs up to make room for you on the bed. You walked up to the side of the bed, dropping your knees on the edge and falling forward face-down onto the covers.
“I messed up, Denki,” You groaned, rolling over onto your back and staring at the ceiling. “I sent a text to Shinsou-”
He let out a little snort. “Now that’s unusual.”
“Yeah,” You agreed. “Because it was a text that was not meant for him.” 
“It couldn’t have been that bad, right?” He asked, now a little nervous. You couldn’t blame him. You and Kaminari had clicked instantly at the beginning of your first year at U.A., and now you’d pretty much consider him your best friend, and you his. But come the end of first year, with the trial and following announcement that Shinsou Hitoshi, general ed student, would be transfering into the hero course- and more specifically- your class, Kaminari Denki had seemed to collect himself yet another best friend. 
And you had made your first rival.
You hadn’t wanted to. But when you had first heard about Shinsou’s quirk, people couldn’t help but compare it to yours. As long as you maintained skin to skin contact, you could command another person to do anything that you wanted. Paired with your athletic background (which started when you were young, at the insistence of your parents that it’d “prepare you for hero training”) you were clearly the superior “mind control” student. You didn’t understand why another one was needed in the hero course. Wasn’t he just fine being in the general course?
But of course he had to join class 2A, become Aizawa’s favorite, and start to steal the attention of your best friend.
But Kaminari was his own person, and he made his own choices about when he hung out with the two of you. It really wasn’t fair to put him in the middle of your mess of feelings. And even though he was Shinsou’s friend, you knew he would keep your secrets.
You turned onto your side to look at him. “Here just- read this.” You shoved your phone at him. He took it in his hand, his face contorting into a grimace as he read your mistake once, twice, three times.
“...Why the hell did you send him this?” You slapped your hands against your face in embarrassment and despair. He mockingly cleared his throat. “‘Can you believe purple hair beat me in today’s exercise? Why does he have to basically have my quirk? If he wasn’t so hot I’d be really pissed.’” Kaminari let out a whistle. “Wow, now there is a lot to unpack here, hun.”
You winced. “Yeah, that text was supposed to go to Mina, but I mean- fucking hell, I don’t know?” You ran your hands over your face. “I guess I somehow just clicked the wrong contact and instead it went to him! And it’s even worse that he hasn’t responded about it yet.” You’d never outright said to Shinsou that you disliked him, but you had to assume he knew, and felt the same way about you.
“I didn’t know you thought he was hot,” Kaminari said, wiggling his eyebrows. You launched a pillow at him that he ducked. 
“C’mon, anyone with a brain can see that he’s attractive,” You muttered. “It’s the same as Todoroki, or maybe Bakugou if you took away some of the attitude.”
He let out a sigh. “Yeah you’re right.” After a moment of silence he pressed your phone back into your hand. “Anyways, I think the best approach would be to sort it out face to face. Texting can make things too muddled sometimes.”
“Since when did you have so much wisdom?” 
He nudged you with a knee. “Hey, there’s a reason you came running to me.”
“I suppose you’re right.” It’ll probably be really awkward and not fun, but you should try to explain yourself in person.
Which is how you found yourself on the outskirts of the woods by the dorm buildings watching Shinsou workout, your presence still unnoticed as his back was turned to you. Kaminari had directed you here, knowing that his friend often trained here on his own. 
Suddenly he relaxed his stance, speaking without turning around. “What, you got more to say to me than what was in that text?”
You gritted your teeth at his words. What is up with his attitude!? “Yeah, well maybe I do.” You crossed your arms, shifting most of your weight onto one foot.
Shinsou glanced over his shoulder. “Sucks for you, I’m busy.” He reached down to the ground and slung his towel over his shoulder. “Since my quirk is clearly inferior to yours, I need to keep training.” You winced slightly at his words.
“Hey, I never said it like that-”
“Yeah, well you didn’t have to.” He sighed before turning to face you fully. “Look, I get it, you feel like I’m trying to take your spot here at U.A. Well just- don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll stay out of your way.”
As he began walking away, you found yourself stepping after him. “Shinsou, it’s not fair to phrase it that way.”
He stopped and turned to face you once more. “What do you know about ‘not fair’?” Shinsou took a step closer to you. “‘Not fair’ is getting into the general class, only to see someone just like me being praised for their power in the hero course. ‘Not fair’ is working as hard as I can to make my dreams come true, only to find out that I still have to compete against you. ‘Not fair’ is wanting to so desperately hate you for it all, but I can’t. Not when I see your strength, your power, your drive and ambition, and I can’t help but admire it. Admire you.” He let out a soft snort of mock amusement to himself. “I do kind of hate you for that, though.”
You stood there in silence. What do I even say to that? Shinsou watched you warily, waiting for a reaction.
“I don’t hate you, not really,” You said slowly. As good a place to start as any. “Resented you, yes, but hate is a strong word.” As you continued talking, your mouth let more and more words spill out, words you didn’t even know you had wanted to say. “And yeah, I was worried that you’d ‘take my spot’ or whatever, but I think that was the competitive nature of this school getting to me. They support friendly competition between students, but maybe I took that too much to heart.” You toed at the ground, slowly looking up to meet his eyes. “I was worried about you joining our class because I think you have amazing control over your quirk and you’re really talented. You really do have the potential to be an incredible hero. And I think… I’d like it better if we were friends, instead of pitting ourselves against each other.”
As you waited for Shinsou’s response, you started to get antsy. Why do I care so much about what he’s going to say?
Finally he answered. “Alright. Friends is a good place to start.” He held his hand out to you, as if to shake on it. Hesitatingly you reached out, your fingers firmly grasping his. He tightened his grip. “Should we also acknowledge that you said I was hot in your text?”
His words brought on a wave of nerves, and you yanked your hand back as if it were on fire. “That- That was a typo!” He began walking back towards the dorms with you hurrying to catch up to him.
As you matched his stride, he huffed out a laugh and sent you a knowing smile. “Sure, whatever you say.”
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youare-mysonshine · 5 years ago
Text
ocean eyes || justin foley
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Summary: A cute, relaxing evening with you and Justin.
Requested: Yes
Can I request something super fluffy with Justin from 13rw? After that finale I’m still SAD so I don’t wanna think abt it at all lmaooo, it could maybe b like before the tapes? Jus something super fluffy n cutesy.
Pairing: Justin Foley x Reader
Warnings: cussing, underage drinking and drug use, mentions of abuse, pre-season 1, pre-tapes.
Word Count: 2.9k
A/N: Hey guys, I do be back! Shocking, I know lmao i’m just as surprised. So I stopped writing for a while because I just kinda lost motivation. I lost motivation for writing for Oscar and OMB. But expanding my blog has been something that I’ve been wanting to do for a while now, I’ve just been a bit nervous. However, I said fuck it and have decided to write for other fandoms. With t h a t ending for 13 reasons why, I figured we could all use some Justin fluff. Baby boy deserved better. Anyways, this is my first time writing for somebody other than Oscar in a while and my first time writing in a while in general, i’m definitely rusty and lowkey nervous to be posting lmao I hope you guys enjoy this and I hope that this isn’t shitty. And if any of you wanna be tagged in any future work of mine, not just Oscar and OMB, let me know!
————
“Jesus Justy, you’re such a lightweight, aren’t you? Do I have to take care of your dumb ass all night?” You looked over at your boyfriend of a few months, cheeks pink, mouth pulled back into an amused grin.
“Shut the fuck up. I am not a lightweight. Besides, look who’s talking. Remember Bryce’s party a few weeks ago? We hadn’t even been there for like 2 hours and your pretty little ass was passed out on the couch.”
You and Justin walked up the narrow stairs that led into the attic, hand in hand. It had been his idea to buy some beer, to smoke some weed and you had been on board with the plan. You had snuck Justin into your room and the both of you had spent the better part of the afternoon drinking the nasty beer, beer provided by Bryce Walker, having chugging competitions to see who could drink the most and fastest. Now, you and the handsome high school athlete found yourselves making your way up to the attic that led to the roof.
“Oh shut up! I was not drunk! That was you.” You laughed, your bright eyes glimmering like two twinkling stars in the night sky. The two of you had worked your way into the attic, shimmied through the window and found yourselves on the roof of your house. You had chosen a comfortable, as comfortable as it could be for the roof, spot and took a seat, patting the spot beside you for Justin to sit down. The chocolate haired teenager did as instructed and sat beside you, your arms touching. He’d since abandoned his fashionable blue and white letterman jacket, the garment laying stagnant on your bed.
A warm evening consumed Evergreen County. The sky was full of vibrant colors such as orange, red and yellow which were slowly being rotted away into a sea of black. You could see the moon just barely beginning to peak out in the sky. It was beginning to look like a beautiful night. Warm and crisp and breezy. Quite frankly, you were a little tipsy. You and Justin. You weren’t stumbling or anything, but it was enough to leave you feeling free and good. You felt good.
Justin held the joint up to his lips and fished a lighter out from his pocket. He hovered the flame by the tip until it began to smolder nicely. He inhaled deeply, held it for a few seconds and then removed the joint from his move. Blue eyes as bright as the ocean on a sunny day watched the plumes of white smoke dissipate into thin air, dancing like ink in water until they simply vanished. He handed the joint over to you and then laid back against the roof, staring up at the sky.
“Mhm. Whatever helps you sleep better at night, babe.” Justin smoke, a peaceful smile on his face. The truth was; this was the most peaceful that he’d felt in quite a few days. Being away from home, being away from that toxic environment that sucked the life and energy out of him. He turned his head to look at you; you had followed his lead and laid down beside him, bringing the joint up to your lips. You wrapped your lips around the end of it and inhaled, your eyes closing for a brief few seconds. You’re beautiful, he thought to himself. The familiar stench of weed had invaded his nostrils, as well as yours.
“My parents would fuckin’ kill me if they saw me up here.” You said, laughing a bit breathlessly. You parents were oblivious, in the living room or kitchen, completely unaware that Justin had been in your room the entire afternoon. Completely unaware that you were now on the roof smoking weed with your boyfriend. Though, you supposed that it worked out better for you, because you could feel yourself relaxing even further, ending a good day on an even higher note, no pun intended.
“I get the feeling neither of them would like me if they saw us up here. They’d probably say I was a bad influence on you. And it’s probably true.” He chuckled, taking the joint between his fingers and bringing it up to his lips again. “I’m corrupting you, baby.” He said, cheekily. He looked over at you with that big and bright smile on his face and you were reminded of why you fell for him in the first place; you and Justin went to the same school. Liberty High School. You weren’t necessarily popular but you weren’t a loner either. You had just moved there a few months, shortly before going out with Justin. and you had immediately caught his eye. He’d flirt with you, do things to try and get your attention. But you made him work for it. You wanted him to sweat a little bit, make him realize that you weren’t going to give in to his charms so easily.
But in the end, he won you over. You couldn’t say no to him. You couldn’t say no to that beautiful smile and those bright blue eyes. Now, here you were, months later. You were going out, happy as can be. But, you had soon learned that Justin’s life wasn’t all that he made it out to be. You remembered one evening where he called you, asked if he could go over to your house and spend the night. Usually, you’d say no. You knew that your parents would ground you for life if they found a boy in your room at night. But his voice, he sounded so sad, so broken — you couldn’t say no to him. However, the last thing that you expected to see was your boyfriend sporting a fresh, darkening purple bruise on his cheekbone that cascaded all the way up to his eye. Around his neck were reddening fingerprints, as if someone had strangled him.
You remembered the shock that you felt seeing him in such a state, and naturally, you had thought that you boyfriend had been in a fight. He had been in a fight. With his mom’s boyfriend. All you could do was sit on the bed, hold a pack of ice to his face and listen as he explained to you the horrors that he went through on a daily basis at the hands of his drug addicted mother and her boyfriend. He looked so different than how you knew him. His ocean eyes that were usually so vibrant and full of life, were downcast, gloomy. That was when you realized that there was more to Justin Foley than met the eye. From then on, you told him that whenever things were getting bad at home, he always had a place to stay with you. And it seemed like your relationships had also strengthened, like you two had gotten closer. All you wanted to do was ensure that he was safe, that no harm would come to him. Even if it meant physically stepping in and doing something. Though, you were sure that you would be no match for the coward known as Seth Massey. Still, you would do anything for Justin. Just as you knew he’d do anything for you.
You chuckled softly at his words. “Well then I guess you can be my dirty little secret.” You said to him, scooting so that you were snuggled closer to him. It was then that your smile melted away and was replaced with a look of concern. “How are things with you thought? At home, I mean. You haven’t spoken about it in a little while, and Bryce told me that you stayed with him for a few days last week. Is Seth back?” You were trying your hardest not to pry, the last thing you wanted to do was come off as clingy or noisy, but you couldn’t help it. You cared. Where Justin was laying on his back, the hem of his shirt had rose up slightly on his stomach, leaving a thick sliver of skin expose. Your fingers rested there, absently toying with the thing trail of hair below his belly button. That first inhale was gradually loosening your muscles. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.. I just worry. I mean.. is everything good? Or do I have to kick his ass for you?” You said, only half joking.
Justin smiled, wrapping his arm around you to pull you closer to him. “I would love to see that. I mean, I would pay to see that shit actually.” He chuckled, taking one more drag of the joint before handing it off to you. His fingers drew little random patterns and shaped on your silky skin, his smile dying down. “Yeah, um.. He’s back. I mean, honestly I just figured I’d stay out of his way rather than start anymore fuckin’ problems. The last thing I need is to get into another fuckin’ fight with that dick. So I just stayed with Bryce for a few days.” In all honesty, Seth actually kind of scared Justin. The man was unpredictable. Violent. He’d hurt Justin countless of times, called him so many names that he could probably write a book filled with them. There were times were the blue eyed teen didn’t even want to deal with Seth so he just escaped to Bryce’s pool house where he’d pretend like his home life wasn’t a big pule of shit. Still, he wrestled with his thoughts of guilt at leaving his mom alone with that scum bad. He wrestled with his thought of guilt because he knew that Seth would and could hurt his mother. But countless of times, Amber Foley welcomed Seth back no matter what he’d done to her or him. And countless of times, Justin was left disappointed by his own flesh and blood.
It was why he was determined to keep you out of that. You were probably one of the few good things in his life, besides Bryce and his friends. You were good. You were pure. And the last thing he wanted was to have you tainted by the shit show that was his life. Sometimes he felt like he didn’t deserve you at all. Like you deserved someone way better than him. Someone who could give you more than him. If he was being truthful, he never wanted you to find out about his home life. He wanted to keep that part of his life hidden and he wanted you to see what everybody at school saw; the popular jock with lots of friends and lots of girls pining after him. The guy with the seemingly perfect life. Yet, when you discovered that his mom was a drug addict with an extremely abusive boyfriend.. you stayed. You didn’t judge him. You didn’t leave him. You stayed. And Justin considered himself the luckiest person on the planet because he had you.
You frowned. “Justin, babe, why didn’t you tell me? You know that you don’t have to hide shit from me, right? I mean I’m glad you got outta there and stayed with Bryce for a few days but you can come to me too.”
“Hey, it’s fine. It’s whatever. I just I didn’t want to tell you anything and make you worried. I only stayed with Bryce because.. I don’t know, I just didn’t want to feel like I was bugging you or something. And I don’t want you to get in trouble with your folks because of me incase they found out that I stayed here.” He explained. “Don’t worry, okay? Everything is all good, I promise. I’m here with you. How could it not be?” He leaned over and kissed your forehead. His words and his kiss had eased your nerves, even if it was only temporarily. Right now, the two of you were together and everything was good. Neither of you had a care in the world; you were with each other and you were all that mattered.
“You know that you don’t deserve it, right? All that shit from Seth. No matter what he says or does to you.. it’s not your fault and you shouldn’t have to live like that.. I’m serious, Justin. I’m here, don’t forget that. I’m your girlfriend but I’m also your friend.” You said. To show that he’d heard you, Justin gave your arm a loving squeeze. For a few minutes, neither of you said nothing. The both of you just stared up at the darkening sky, passing the joint back and forth until nothing was left. Until your muscles were completely relaxed, until your eyes were half lidded, until the only thing on your mind was how good you felt.
“Do you ever think about leaving this place? Just packing your shit and going? I’ve thought about it. We could go anywhere we want. Away from Seth, from all the high school bullshit, away from everyone. It’d be nice.” You hummed, the air growing cooler as you spoke. “But it looks like we’re stuck here. For now, at least. Graduation seems like forever away.” You broke the silence, though your eyes never left the beautiful sky. Justin, however, turned to look at you. For a few seconds, he just stared at you and took you in — how good your perfume smelled and how it seemed to cling to him. How the fabric of your outfit contrasted beautifully against your skin. How relaxed you looked. You were utterly ethereal.
“I think about it all the time. Especially when I’m at home, listening to my mom and Seth fight. I think about just fucking leaving and never coming back. Forgetting this boring ass little town and just.. getting away from here.” He revealed. “Maybe one day, me and you, we can get outta here together. After graduation. Just pack our shit up and leave.” That was a good thought. Leaving Crestmont with you. Going anywhere in the world that they wanted. But you two were still young, and neither of you knew the giant shit storm that you were about to go through. Neither of you knew the horror that you’d endure. Neither of you knew if you’d even still be together by the time you go to graduation.. or if you even make it to graduation. Still, right now, everything seemed too good and too perfect. Like nothing could tear you down and ruin what you had going on.
You groaned, burying your face in Justin’s shoulder. “Graduation is so far away.” You whined playfully. “Who’s to say that you won’t get tired of me by then?”
“Eh, you’re right. You’re pretty fucking annoying.” Justin said, earning a smack to the chest by you. “I’m kidding!” He laughed. “I mean.. we don’t know what’s gonna happen but I like to think that you and I will still be together by the time we get to graduation. I mean.. I don’t know.. call me sappy or whatever.. I just really like you, Y/N.. And you know about me and my fucked up life and family and you haven’t run for the hills.. yet. I guess I’m pretty fucking lucky to have you and I don’t wanna screw any of this up.”
“Wow.. Justin Foley.. Have you been watching cheesy romance movies?” You teased your boyfriend. He rolled his eyes and shook his head, laughing softly. “Seriously though.. I really like you too and nothing you do or say is gonna scare me off. Seth isn’t gonna scare me off either. You’re right, we don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future but.. we just gotta take it day by day right.. Together?”
Instead of initially answering you verbally, Justin surged forward and captured your soft lips with his own. The kiss that you shared was slow, relaxed, a symptom of the weed that you two had just shared. But it was more loving than any other kiss you’d experienced before. You sighed in content, easing against him, but Justin reacted by gripping your thigh and moving it so that it was draped over his lap. You did the rest; without breaking the kiss, your mouths and tongues moving in a steady rhythm, you shifted from laying against the tiled roof and positioned yourself on top of him. Your thigh were sturdy on either side of his lips, your butt rested lightly upon his lap. Justin’s hands fell on your hips, holding you secure and steady against him, almost as if wanting to make sure that you wouldn’t disappear.
After a few long, precious moments, you finally pulled away an inch or two. Your face was close to his, your noses barely touching. “Together.” He finally answered.
“You’re stuck with me now, Foley. Sorry about it.” You giggled breathlessly, your eyes shining brightly. Justin never wanted to look away.
“Yeah? Well sorry to say it, but you’re stuck with me too, baby. You ain’t getting rid of me that easily.”
Justin knew his friends, Bryce and all the other jocks, would call him pussy whipped if they could see him now. Hell, they already did every time they saw you and Justin walking down the hallway holding hands or his arm around you.. Justin would soon learn that his biggest downfall would be caring too much of what his friends think.
But for now, he enjoyed the moment of being tangled up with you on the roof of your house with the moon illuminating you both. Nothing else mattered.
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the-awkward-outlaw · 5 years ago
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what abt one where you try to console Arthur after his breakup from Mary and one thing leads to another
Mm, this one turned out hot. Also, fuck Mary. She pisses me off. 
Masterlist
Read on AO3
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Warnings: smut
Arthur’s been in his room for a while. Too long in your opinion and you’re beginning to worry. He was out in Saint Denis all yesterday and this morning, but when he came back about an hour ago, he was unusually distant. Sure, Arthur’s not a talker, but he almost always wanders camp, chipping into conversations and he always comes to see you. Not today though. Something’s wrong. 
You’ve been trying to sneak into the big manor for some time to go and talk to him. After all, you’re his best friend (and you’re secretly in love with him). If anyone’s going to coax him to talk about what’s bothering him, you can. However, you’re pretty much being kept prisoner to this damn crate by Grimshaw. She’s mad because you spent a week straight out with Arthur, wandering from Strawberry to Annesburg. It doesn’t even matter to her that you both came laden with pelts, meat, provisions and even a few hundred bucks to contribute to camp. She says you should’ve been helping around camp with the other girls. Whenever you’ve tried sneaking away, she’s swooped down on you like a massive hawk on an unsuspecting squirrel. 
However, when Arthur came back, Karen saw how desperately you wanted to go see him. She knew something was wrong too. She was already nearly a bottle down on whiskey, so she did you the favor of getting herself even more drunk. You’ve been watching her. Grimshaw gets incredibly angry when Karen is drunk. As she drinks more and more, getting deeper in, Grimshaw marches over. 
“What the hell you doin’, girl? You’re supposed to be workin’, not drinkin’ enough to sink a saloon!”
“Ah, shut up, you old bat!” Karen hollers back. 
The two quickly descend into a heated argument, giving you the opportunity to sneak away and into the house. As you scurry off, you swear Karen gives you a wink, but maybe she’s so drunk that she can’t operate her eyelids properly anymore. Hard to tell. 
Finally, you get to the second floor without any problems. Slowly, you open the door to Arthur’s room. He’s lying on his back in the bed, an arm draped over his eyes. 
“Arthur?” you say quietly. 
He lifts his head and spots you. His face falls more, but he sits up. “Hey, Y/N.” 
“You okay? You seem down.” 
You take a seat next to him on the bed. He clasps his hands between his knees, his elbows on his thighs, but his eyes are planted on the ground. 
“What happened?” 
He sighs. “Not really much of anything, but… God, I’m such a damn fool.” 
You hesitate, dying to comfort him. You’ve been friends for years and you’ve had a crush on him for ages. You can’t even name how many nights you’ve pretended to be enfolded in his arms, and how many nights you’ve touched yourself, pretending it was him. Hell, you’ve even called out his name. Slowly, you reach over and grab his hand. He looks up at you, surprised. 
“Arthur, you’re not a fool. You’re smart, brave, funny. I’ve seen you take pity on people, even when they haven’t deserved it. Please, tell me what happened.” 
He sighs and squeezes your hand. “I, uh, went and saw Mary. She wrote to me again.” 
“Mary? I thought she wouldn’t contact you again again after you got her brother back?” 
You knew all about that of course. You were the only one Arthur confided that into. One of the benefits of being such close friends for so many years. 
“I didn’t either, but she did. Said she wanted to see me again.” 
“And what did she want this time? She need you to go scare some other people again?” 
He sighs and you can’t tell if he’s smiling as his face is still pointed to the floor. “Yes. Guess her daddy was provin’ once again how much he don’t care for his family. He sold her mother’s broach so I went and got it back. Then, she had the nerve to ask me to go to a show.” 
“She asked you out on a date? I thought you two weren’t sweet on another?” You fail to hide the pain from your voice. 
“I didn’t think we were, or she was anyways. I… like I said, I’m a damn fool. When I’m not around her, I don’t really want nothin’ to do with her. Mostly because I…” he pauses and squeezes your hand again. “But when I’m around her, it’s like I can’t really control myself. She knows exactly how to play and manipulate me. So yeah, I went on a date with her. Whole thing felt wrong. And then… she asked me to run away with her.” 
Your heart drops. Shit, is he only here to collect his things and then disappear with her? The thought breaks your heart. You know exactly how much you’ve come to depend on him and it scares you that he would so easily and willingly abandon the gang and you. It hurts too. Can you tell him the truth? 
“So… you’re just here to gather your things, I’m guessing?” you say, trying to keep your voice steady. 
He looks up at you finally. “Course not. I have people to take care of. I… I told her I had someone waitin’ for me.” 
Your stomach suddenly becomes alive with butterflies. “And what did she say?” 
He sighs again and looks back at the floor. “She didn’t take it too well. She… she called me some bad things. Was convinced that I lied to her, played her.” 
“Well that’s rich, coming from her!” 
He huffs a small laugh. “That’s what I told her. Only made her more mad though. She started sayin’ the same ol’ bullshit, that she shoulda had my hung a long time ago, that she should turn me in now.” 
“She wouldn’t, would she?” 
He huffs again. “She said that all the time when we was datin’ as kids. It was all garnish though, never had any weight to it. I expect it’s the same now. She only says it because she’s mad and wanted to… well, convince me to do things her way.” 
You smile and squeeze his hand again. “Well, if anyone’s the fool, Arthur, she is.” 
“Oh she definitely is a fool, mostly for putin’ in good years on a no-good outlaw.” 
You frown a bit. “Arthur, I’ve been with you for a few years now. I don’t think I’ve invested my time unwisely.” 
“Then maybe you’re a fool too. You’d be a lot smarter to stay away from me, darlin’. I ain’t no good. I ain’t got much good in me.” 
You can tell Arthur needs a morale boost, but you’re not quite sure what to say. Suddenly a thought strikes you. 
“Arthur… can I do something? I wanna show you what I feel about you. And, well, considering you and Mary dated for so long, something tells me she never did anything like this for you.” 
He looks up at you. “What you talkin’ about?” 
You smile and slide off the bed, going to your knees and placing yourself in front of him. Your hand goes up to cup his cheek. You rub his stubbled jaw for a moment, his eyes sparkling with… what is that? Excitement? Finally you lean in and kiss his lips. Oh God, how you’ve wanted to do this for so long. He doesn’t pull away, instead his hand plants on the back of your neck. His mouth moves with yours and his warm breath washes over your face. 
After a moment, you pull away. “Arthur,” you whisper, “let me show you how I feel about you.” 
“What do you mean?” 
You smile. “Like I said, let me show you.” 
He gives you a stiff nod and you smile, going back in for another kiss. As you do, your hands go to work on his shirt, undoing his buttons. Your lips follow your fingers, tracing his naked skin as you work your way downwards. Damn, he’s good looking, with hair in just the right places. You saw him shirtless once when he was bathing in a river, but you weren’t close enough then to truly appreciate his body. His built, but not overbuilt. 
Finally you get to his pants. He’s breathing hard and you can see him straining against his jeans. As you’re undoing his gunbelt, he groans. 
“God, darlin’.” 
This urges you on and you quickly unbutton his pants and reach a hand in to stroke him. Damn, he is firm. You feel a familiar pulsing between your own legs, so you pull him out and stare shamelessly at his cock. He’s thick, a long vein running down his entire length. You start pumping him, slowly, and watching him grow even more. He groans again and leans back, planting his hands on the bed. 
You’re filled with an urge to pleasure him. He needs the release. This poor man has been working so hard with so little thanks. He’s more than earned this. You look up at him and his eyes are closed as your hands work. 
“Arthur, I want you to look at me,” you say. His head tips forward and his eyes open. When you’ve got his attention again, you smile. 
After pumping him two more times, you slowly dip down towards his cock. You run your tongue from the base of his length all the way down to his head. He shivers beneath you, a hiss escaping his lips. His cock pulses hot and hard. You wrap your lips around his head and begin sucking, tickling just the tip. His hips buck a little, but you can tell he’s trying so hard to control himself. Slowly, you slip more of him into your mouth. He’s beginning to pant as you bob against him. 
“Oh my God,” he groans, making you smile. You pull him from your mouth with a small pop and then you stand up. His eyes find yours with a silent plea, begging you to continue. 
“Don’t worry, Mr. Morgan. I’m gonna take good care of you.” 
You quickly take off your clothes, but make sure to give him a show. A few moments later, you’re standing stark naked in front of him, letting his eyes rake over your body. You grab his shoulder and guide him to lie down on the bed before sliding your leg over him to straddle his hips. His cock’s still standing, eager for your center. 
You grab his length once more and give it a few pumps, bringing it back to full erection once more. Then, you angle him towards your slit and then sit down on his hips. It’s your turn to groan as his cock spreads your walls. His hands go to your hips and squeeze, then they slide up to grab your breasts. You put your hands on his and begin thrusting your hips, your eyes meeting his. His cheeks are flushed pink, like your own, but his eyes are glued to yours. 
You bounce on his hips, trying to bring him to his release, which he so badly needs. He’s panting beneath you, which says that he’s close. His own hips are thrusting up into your pelvis, burying his cock deeper into you. He suddenly brushes your spot, making you gasp. This seems to encourage him as he bucks harder, brushing it more and more. You start to pant on top of him. 
Without warning, Arthur suddenly grabs you, flips you onto your back and plows right back into you. He pumps himself hard against you, making the whole bed move. God, you hope no one can hear this, but you kind of don’t care. He takes your right knee and brings it up, wrapping your leg around him to give him a better angle. His cock goes even deeper into you and he starts kissing your neck. You can feel your own orgasm beginning to peak, but you want to chase his. He’s more than earned it. 
As he’s plowing into you, he starts losing his rhythm. He groans into your neck. 
“I want ya to cum to me, darlin’,” he growls in your ears. 
“Arthur,” you pant. “This… this is about you. Don’t… worry about… me.” 
He smiles and kisses your lips. “God I been wantin’ to do this so long.” His hand glides down your body and down to your slit. You want him to touch you there but know he shouldn’t. Just as you’re about to say something, his fingers brush over your clit. This makes you tilt your head back, groaning as your hips angle up into him. 
With his fingers stroking your clit and his cock brushing on your spot, it only takes seconds before your back arches, your toes curl and your fingers dig into his back. 
“Arthur!” you yelp as your orgasm rips through your body. He sucks on your neck and his fingers continue stroking your clit, prolonging your release. Your center pulses around his cock, almost painfully so. You haven’t orgasmed with a man inside you in many years. 
As you pulse around him, he groans and pushes harder into you. As you settle down beneath him, he suddenly thrusts the hardest he’s done and then he quickly pulls out. Just in time as his cock releases his spend, spreading over your stomach. He grunts loudly as he releases, but then he opens his eyes and looks down at you, covered in his juices. 
“Sorry, darlin’,” he grunts. He bends down and grabs a cloth, cleaning you up. 
“I ain’t complaining, Arthur. That was… damn. I’m gonna admit something: I’ve imagined doing this with you but I never thought it could be that good.” 
He chuckles, throwing the cloth across the room. “I doubt that, darlin’. I’m very out of practice.” 
“As am I, Arthur, so it works out. Maybe you and I… can make this a regular thing?” 
He smiles and bends down to kiss you again. “I’d like that. Thank you.” 
194 notes · View notes
icharchivist · 3 years ago
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hello icha!!!!! learned from my mistakes and typed this out in a separate document. first i have to say im feeling a very deep connection with citron as of late bc i was giving myself a pep talk abt like physics and i told myself "face up and man the music!" and was like "...is that wrong. theres that song called man against the music isnt there... yeah it must be right" and. well i realized later. i also think the phrase "dont cry because it happened, smile because its over" is very good. also I’m halfway thru creating a very eclectic list of like. a Pokémon team for each a3 character which is… something. kinda knew it would happen to me. might take a while for me to finish it tho now that I’m halfway bc I’m suddenly having a crisis like “wait shit I’m only confident on my understanding and characterizing of like 4 characters am I good enough” so… it’s slow going lol. anyways. i finished that damn physics thing I was giving myself a pep talk about and so am treating myself to autumn/winter. happens that watching these events is also like. the only thing which reminds me to actually like. log into a3 lol. i am so bad at gacha games. probably a good thing in the long run. ok starting from the top!
hisoka going "zzz" as his reaction made me immediately go... oh dear, please dont fall asleep in the bath and guess what happened. yeah. good thing homare was there lol. speaking of i fucking adore homare and his poetry. id buy his collection. i also wish there was a collection like if there was a master list of every poem he says in like. at the very least main story. if not i will literally do it myself. i love homare so much im like him in that back when i had to play dodgeball id always be like kufufufu they cant hit me if im friendless enough that no one pays attention to me but like in my case it actually worked out. on the subject of the pillow fight tho, hisoka's crazy strong pillow fight throw... one more mark on the list for suspicious, maybe assassin occupation. this event made me realize how much i missed winter like. i saw the stranger pretty recently (which has caused the effect of be being like "taichi!! thats my boy!!" in my head everytime he shows up lol but anyways i havent gotten to a winter play yet so im VERY hype. especially bc this seems like it stars hisoka and homare??? like oh!! oh!!!! also detective fiction... im swooning. i also just enjoy the hisoka homare dynamic a whole fucking lot i think its nice how homare was like "yeah im ride or die for this funky lil amnesiac, why wouldnt you be?" and its just like. nice. feel like hes always reaching out to hisoka which is like. man homare is so nice.
back to chronology. ofc sakyo goes cheap for the hot springs lol. on brand as ever. was very hype for the azuma sakyo dynamic bc all i remember is like azuma trashing everyone including sakyo at some game or the other in one of the winter chapters and it was very good. or was this a clip in like a stage play? either way it was delightful. at first i misinterpreted taichi going "…" after azuma and sakyo said theyd never been on a field trip bc like. taichi being quiet or noncommunicative... after going thru autumn troupe act 1 it makes me fear for my life a little lol. anyways im glad he was just like planning fun times. speaking of taichi tho we got a tasuku taichi pair for etudes!!!! im not spoiling myself for later events but i hope to GOD tasuku and taichi do like a lead co lead in SOMETHING or at least like some mixed troupe event i want them to talk!!!
also dunno if this is an intentional pun but i enjoy that its called high spirits at the hot spring bc like oh theyre having fun but also bc like. "spirits" is used to refer to a certain type of alcohol i think? which is cool. dunno if its intentional but i liked that. anyways the talent show. taichis moving rendition of single ladies... ok i know it said single fellas but like. we know. wonder if that line was a different song in japanese? its not too old at ALL tho imo. anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment... flashback to when banri slaps juza live on stage instead of doing a stage slap lol. my reaction to azuma essentially went:
azuma: I can offer to bare my soul, and a little more ;)
izumi: what do u mean by that???
me: hey tasuku and omi were shirtless what's ur problem with azuma
anyways i reread and from what i understand they were maybe only flexing and doing a gun show? which like. no wonder it didnt last too long then lol. also explains why they didnt have shirtless sprites i suppose lmao. i am SO curious abt what azuma ended up doing tho that fade to black is so mysterious! did he tap dance? did he pole dance? the world will never know...
oh also im not like super familiar with azuma yet but my read on his personality is definitely like "I am so touch starved All The Time but I will be chill. :) :) this is fine :)" like he just seems to rly like being around people! just like basking in presence whether or not hes rly talking that much.
i enjoyed that juza mentioned pillow fighting with his lil brother... thats nice! i think a lot of this event was just focused on ppl having fun over the drama lol bc it got wrapped up sooo quick. i liked the bit where sakyos worried that izumi was out late searching for him tho it was so sweet. table tennis match was very fun although id argue calling hisoka and juza the two quietest tho lol like... banri exists so juza isnt quiet. just like inevitably. finally, the event cg!!! azumas hair tied up... so nice! thats how I tie my hair up sometimes tho it doesnt look nearly as nice lol. taichi rambling abt his first love for so long tho... lol. ill be honest i have to reread autumn bc i was not aware of this whole situation until it came up in the stranger and i like inferred from there. the end of this event was nice! it was cute. i dont rly have much thoughts on it but im so hype for the winter play
Hello:!!! so good to see you again, freshly learning from your mistakes then :3c
the connection with Citron is a BLAST to read about. I am glad that Citron is there, on your mind, supporting you at every turns of language. It's beautiful.
AND OH THE POKEMON LIST!!! thrilled to hear about it being a wip ongoing! take your time ofc and i hope you'll feel more confident as you go for your characters interpretation! i believe in you!
lmao i'm glad the events help you remember to play a3, i'm sure that by the time you'll be done with the events you will have unlocked so much of act 2 you won't have to worry too much about it. Anyway i'm glad you treat yourself to good things :3c
of course Hisoka fell asleep in the bath. tbh this event was a lot of "Hisoka almost dies in a spring house multiple times if it wasn't for his troupesmates". Between sleeping in the bath and almost swallowing the table tenis ball... where would we be without Winter, and especially Homare, taking care fo him.
I'm SO GLAD you like Homare that much! he's so so good! i'm sure there must be a masterlist somewhere, or well. can be done anytime i guess?? but yeah Homare is fantastic and LDJFDLKFJDF the evil plan to avoid dodgeball from both of you.. this is incredible DLKJFDLKF. But yeah alas he's loved by his own so he gets hit smh.
And yeah Hisoka is just acting sus huh.
BUT YEAH... YEAH... WINTER... BELOVED.... I feel regular and normal feelings for Winter as you know, s o .
(i'm so delighted that you feel that way about Taichi though, as he deserves!! what a good boy!!!)
But yeah Winter play next!!!!! i love the winter plays so much i hope you'll like it as well!! aND YEAH HISOKA AND HOMARE AS A DUO... for a DETECTIVE story?? so good.
I'm sO GLAD you like their dynamic! yeah i adore it too. Homare was so quick to leap into taking care of Hisoka? Like i mean he immediatly called him sleeping beauty when they first met, and immediately decided to be his roommates to watch over him, and then he did everything to take care of him and it's just so sweet. Homare has such a big heart he's so gentle with Hisoka. Homey and comfortable, whenever Hisoka admits it or not ahah.
ahah wouldn't be Sakyo if he didn't need to stay cheap. BUT YEAH the Sakyo/Azuma dynamic is pretty good. oh the event you talk about i think is in some of his very first backstage storyes (that you can read if you have them since they're at this point of the chronology). There's one where they play a mafia game and Sakyo is warry of Azuma because "people like him are those you need to worry about the most" and Azuma is just ":) you wound me :) i would never :)" and then Azuma wins the game and starts to mess with everyone. It was so fun. and yeah i see which clip you mean for the stage play!! it's so so fun they have such a neat dynamic and i loved to see it in this event as well.
and omg worrying about Taichi while he was just there preparing a fun time! this child really would have worried us all back then huh
but AHH YEAH TASUKU TAICHI.... It's such a neat dynamic! ofc i won't say anything but man i love the potential of their stories, as the two ex Godza boys. To see them bond and be comfortable with each other always make me so soft.
OH NICE CATCH FOR THE PUN! i think it must be the reason for it tbh, i love it! thanks for pointing it out!
The talent show was really fun yeah ahah! I wonder what it is in Japanese too but at least the localization was hella fun!
"anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment." THEY'RE SO SILLY I love them so much
AND LMAO YOUR REACTION AT AZUMA I LOVE IT. YEah i think Tasuku and Omi are just flexing (which is Still. SO FUNNY. Just there saying "our talents is.. our muscles...") meanwhile Azuma is like "my talent is that i'm crazy hot :)"
But YEAH Azuma... AZUMA WHAT DID YOU DO....
your read on Azuma's personality feels pretty spot on to me ahah omg. Staying with what you know about him, the fact that with his job and all, he seems like he's starving for connection while also terrified to make himself emotionally vulnerable. He loves staying with people, listening to them, caring for them, and he's touch starved as hell (i mean it's his job) but he doesn't seem to really know how to be on the receiving hand of affection. there's a flair talk, i can't remember where, with Omi at some point, where Azuma compliments him, and Omi is just "mhm.. but you know i think that it's more about you" and ends up complimenting Azuma in depth and it let Azuma dumbfounded because he didn't expect Omi to trick him at his own game, while Omi just genuinely don't get why Azuma is reacting that way. He gives he gives he gives, and he's genuinely happy with that, but he seems to have difficulties to take, or to demand for something, while also starving for it. I have so many emotions for Azuma.
Any mentions of Juza's little bro are the best things. I love this type of mention TwT
And yeah it was such a laid back event. Honestly deserved after the crying fest that was The Stranger imo. It's good to relax once in a while and it was nice to have them have fun. There was the bitterness of both Azuma and Sakyo's past that was always a bit looming but everyone was working so hard for them to enjoy themselves that the joy just overtake any sadness i loved it.
Sakyo worrying about Izumi is always adorable TwT
And yeah the Table Tennis match was so fun and chaotic LMAO. I love the dynamic between Juza and Hisoka. Just two usually quiet boys who like sweets. Except that yeah like you say, as long as Banri is around, Juza cannot be 100% quiet. Rip.
THE CG WAS SO PRETTY i loved seeing it. And omg you can share your hairtips with Azuma how nice :D Azuma manages to make everything look beautiful smh....
Oh yeah Taichi and his first love! if i recall he mentions it quickly at the begining, that Yuki reminds him of his first love, and he says that again at some point - then the fake Portrait he does he mentions his first love again. And since then it's been a reccuring topic so yeh :3c
but yeah! this event was really sweet and laid back, not much to say about it, but it was nice to have it at all!
Hope you'll like the winter play :3c
Take care and thank you again for your thoughts <33 i love reading them!! bless you!!
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astralshipper · 4 years ago
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[ASMR: it’s gush time but I pull a reverse uno card that has absolutely no counters.] Do it 🔫 (please, I want to hear you gush and talk about your f/os, I’m begging y-)
WAIT NOOOO OMG THATS NOT HOW THIS WORKS >:(((((( UR SUPPOSED TO GUSH!! ITS UR TURN TO GUSH U DESERVE THE GUSH TIME!!! aghkfjg,,, this is gonna b far too long,,, will put extra under read more for easy scrolling 😳
hmkjdnfgj,,,, hmph,,,, well i,, i guess... i suppose,,,, uhm,,, s,,sam? himst???? yeah that dude... i think ive mentioned him once or twice... 
 idk!!! i just. theres smthn abt sam that just feels so safe tho. hes such a genuinely good person and it’s so upsetting that he doesnt see that and he doesnt realize how much he means to the people around him. he gives everyone around him 110% of himself, whether he knows them or not, and like. it’s not like he’s getting anything in return. he just CARES and my god thats so sweet and genuinely kind... 
whenever he sees someone thats having trouble with accepting themselves for who they are, he jumps in so fast. and i know everyone jokes abt him being the sensitive brother, the one thats ready to cry at all times, the one thats touchy feely lovey huggy and all, and like... yeah sure u make fun BUT hes perhaps one of the kindest, most all loving people ive ever seen so??? he doesnt care about being the manly man, even tho hes got the build and look of a guy that could easily pass as the stereotypical tough guy. he doesnt WANNA be like that. he wants to be kind and giving and loving and he wants people to feel safe around him. and he’s so outwardly loving that he DOESNT seem that imposing. his eyes are always kind and he has this naturally soft look that just makes him seem... well... soft i guess?? 
and he always walks kinda hunched over, which you could easily chalk up to bad posture, but that changes. when hes soulless, or when he’s boyking!sam, or even when he’s up against a tough monster, he stands up straight, so he’s his full 6′4 height. so he purposefully makes himself smaller so he looks less threatening to people around him and like... babey.... hes so cute... i hope his back doesnt hurt from standing like that but the idea behind it is very soft... i do wish he felt comfy standing up straight tho!! i wish he was able to be more proud of being tall!! he only seems proud when he wants to be threatening but like. sam.. honey... baby.... i promise you yourself are just fine and not inherently threatening...  aaaaa i just. i love him!!! so so much!!!!
thank u abi,, ksdjhfg
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kachinnate · 4 years ago
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reblogn’t, there’s nothing too triggery about this it’s just semi personal re: how one of my ex-best friends ruined lgw from b//mc for me and also just like... in the same vein the Less Discussed portion of my spring of ‘19 Traumas bc this ex-best friend out of 3 caused the least damage and therefore in my mind he got away with a lot more
i’ve just been thinkin about it a lot, idk. i don’t think i’ve ever talked about this specific thing to anyone (explicitly or in detail) and it’s bothered me for so long and i know talking about it on here fixes nothing rlly but.. idk! some kayla lore if you wanted it, mayhaps this will get deleted in like ten minutes after being posted so get it hot while you can
just for context my junior year of high school (aka the Worst One) i drove my at-the-time best friend to school every day -- we lived like a street away from each other, and he didn’t like the Bus and he wasn’t always able to take his mom’s car because we both did theatre together and therefore would be at the school for a Long Ass Time, and like... he was my friend! so i drove him to school! and.. in times like that, it was a good incentive to get myself up, too, cuz shit was lowkey rough back then and i’d feel bad if i made both of us late. 
said best friend was super into musical theatre - like, he wanted to be a musical theatre major, so he’s super well versed on like Most Musicals all the classics w/e .. snob doesn’t feel like the right word bc sometimes he genuinely Did like stuff that was simply Silly/dumb for the sake of it being Silly/dumb but it’s the closest word i can think of. i was constantly embarrassed that my favorite musical was d//eh, and to this day he still barely knows anything about it because 1. he himself didn’t listen/pay much attention to it and 2. despite it literally being my hyperfixation since like my sophomore year, i didn’t feel comfortable talking to him about it bc of what few criticisms he gave it. but he did know it was my fav, he knew that i had a Love for w/rol bc i talked abt him a lot. 
lgw was the first thing from b//mc broadway to get released - and i know like 3-4 different versions of it got released too lmao but this was like the Very First One, i’d never heard it before! i didn’t realize it’d been released until i was idling in front of his house so naturally i was like “oh bet let’s listen to it together” 
he didn’t really like b//mc either for the same reasons he didn’t like d//eh, but it was like... much less so, idk - he liked m//itb so like i figured it was indifference at best.. but regardless uh my fuckin car i’m gonna listen to it if i want to <3 also like if it was good i doubt he’d care abt what it was from 
anyway, he got in, and i played it. the drive to school isn’t that far, so it finished like, while we were in the busy lane waiting to turn into our high school
and like i was really “:DD” bc like it was good that w/rol note held out at the end was kinda Magical and also in context of the musical??? wow YES jeremy finally getting his Protagonist Song(tm) he deserves it and it makes me feel !!!
i hadn’t said anything yet, but literally the first words out of my friend’s mouth were some semblance of “wow, that was terrible” which like. yeah. killed the mood pretty quick skdjgnsdf
he like started digging Into it like making fun of the chorus and will’s voice and i was kinda just quiet like “oh,,, i guess,,” bc i didn’t know what else to do, like i felt bad immediately trying to defend it bc i’d only heard it that One time and also confrontation is hard and confrontation specifically w him was hard, especially bc he was like Genuinely ragging on the song, not in a jokey way
and like.... he eventually stopped because he could tell i was genuinely getting distressed and he kept going like “hey it’s nbd kayla it’s not like you wrote the song” which jsdkgsd to this day i’m not sure what that means or why he thought it’d be comforting but. whatever. the whole thing made me feel really bad and inferior 
in the coming weeks of the actual b//mc soundtrack getting released he also made fun of ilpr at one point, how st/ephanie h/su was “”too much”” or something - idk. those criticisms didn’t bug me as much bc at that point i’d already been resigned about the whole thing, and it’s not like i played that song for him and he said that, he’d listened to it on his own time and just thought for some reason to mention it to me. 
and it’s frustrating, because i can’t even be like “he just doesn’t like new musicals”, bc he really liked h//adestown and there’s usually a musical or two from the tony’s every year he gets into, it was just like... the ones i liked he didn’t [pensive] and i know i know it wasn’t personal, he’s just LIKE that, but .... aughhh it really bothered me when he’d dig into stuff i liked and was always just like “u didn’t write it u didn’t make it” like that was supposed to make my interest in this Thing despite his Distaste ok.... 
and like despite this he was still the person i was closest to - this was merely a blip in the whole grand scheme of things, just.. something that bugged me. it took me until after i graduated to realize he’d been a sociopath, that he was never choosing me, i was just.. around, which. sucks. i spent a lot of time sitting with him in my car in front of his house talking about musicals and life for more hours than i’d like to admit. when he broke down crying on his 18th birthday telling us that he didn’t know if he’d ever be enough, i thought that i’d actually started to understand him. 
he’d been my ‘best friend’ since elementary school. i dated him at one point before we both realized we were queer. we’d been the only two seniors who’d been in every show together. despite all the bullshit, he was always there. he assimilated to the personality of our friend group every year when we were around different people, but he was still around, i was still always there for him - he couldn’t assimilate to my personality because to him there were no traits to take, we’d known each other for too long. 
a couple weeks into senior year, i full on sobbed to him in my car telling him about how he and the friend group made me feel so bad last year, told him about how i stopped taking my meds during the musical. he told me that he had no idea that i was feeling like that, that he didn’t know. but i’d driven him to school every day.
the last time we’ve talked in person was march 14th, the last day school for the 2019-2020 year was in session. 
i haven’t taken it off, but i skip lgw whenever it comes on my musical playlist because it still makes my chest feel tight.
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marshmallowprotection · 4 years ago
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Hehe tonight I’ve talked with my step-sister & her f//her of how my mother is (and was those past years) and like
I always knew we had problems but goddamn, I never thought it was actually that bad (not that I’m saying she’s a terrible person, just that she tends to... keep things to herself way past what’s considered healthy so eventually she breaks down and I get the short end of the stick)
Like the fact she often told me she was going to kill herself so she would be with J again (who was supposed to be my older sister, never knew her since she died some time after birth) when I was around 10-11 y/o bc she spent a shitty day at work. Or like all the times she’s spoken about her to me, actually telling me stuff like ‘she should have survived instead of you’
It’s like... I feel like I’m either used as a replacement for her, or considered less important than her. Fun fact: my second name is J, she choosed it herself, and I’m just considering to find it weird/creepy now that I’ve made the comparison
The times she gaslighted me as well, or the times where she would be getting extra mad @ me and insulting me but if she got called she would immediately pretend everything was fine and nothing bad was happening before returning to that
And
There’s like a lot more things I could say. We’ve lived together (just the two of us) for a lot of time, so I have a lot of shitty stuff of that kind at the back of my head. Which (with some other stuff) resulted in me lying often, or always paying attention to what I say or do, or always checking up who’s in what room before entering
I’m not rlly feeling bad abt any of this rn? It’s not pleasing of course, but for once I’m not crying abt it so it’s better. It’s just kind of... depressing? I guess.
I do recognize that it’s not easy being a parent and all (even if I feel like she doesn’t think I do) but I don’t think that I, a child, should’ve been exposed to stuff like that (at all, and also at the age I was at the time). And I know that losing J was hard to, but having to deal with her telling me that she would rather leave me and fucking die just to be with her again than stay with me is not any easier either.
Woah I talked a lot
TW: Gaslighting, Manipulation
Hi. That’s not okay. That’s sincerely not okay. You shouldn’t have been exposed to anyone or anything that would have harmed you. Grief is a very messy thing, and it will hurt people for a long time but that doesn’t excuse someone telling you that someone should have lived and you should have died. 
That’s not okay and it will never be okay. If she told you that, and she didn’t apologize? Yeah, that is the point where I say that you don’t interact with that person anyone as much as humanly possible and get away from them. I am aware that teenagers don’t have a lot of control to just leave, but you shouldn’t have to put up with that at all. 
That being said, the fact that she’s manipulating you and making you feel like you’re at fault, like you should question reality, etc, that’s not okay. That’s a very serious thing. Children should never have to walk on eggshells for the sake of someone else's feelings. You are a kid, and the adult or the older person in this situation should know better and should try harder to be better. 
Yes, adults and figures in your life can make mistakes, everyone is human. But, there’s a line between messing up one day and apologizing after, trying to mend the issue, and causing the problem in the first place and harming the child. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. You’re your own person. You’re not some kind of replacement for what has been lost. If she cared for you, she would try her best to have a good relationship with you, because your siblings in some way and family is supposed to be important. 
If you’ve been staying together I’m going to assume she’s an adult. If she’s supposed to be caring for you in any capacity, then she’s simply proven to me that she’s in the wrong here and this is emotionally devastating to you and will only cause harm to you in the future, as it already has. That being said, if you’re still around her, you need to take steps to get away from her. You don’t deserve to be treated like this, abused, or gaslight. 
You deserve a family that cares about you and treats you right. None of that is your fault. Nothing is. You aren’t the one with the problem. She’s the one with the problem. I’m coming from a personal space here to tell you that you may be trying to soften the blow of your pain to others by saying that “being a parent is not easy”, because you want to rationalize your pain and feel like it’s not as bad because you don’t know a different life. But, that saying is for when a parent is like, missing one night of sleep because they were making sure that their kid was okay, you lose a little rest, but you do it because you’re a parent and it’s your duty to care for your child. 
If you’re harming someone physically or emotionally, you’re not a good parent whatsoever and you have no right to be around them. 
Definitely focus on this when you’re getting help with counseling because they have the resources to protect you. 
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gunmetalgrey-trashpile · 4 years ago
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SMS [ bucky ] : for @diabolicaltendencies​​
SMS [ bucky ] : i know everything about him, more than anyone SMS [ august 📷 ] : but good luck kicking my ass, id like to see it
SMS [ bucky ] : ive fucked over bigger people than u pal dislocated my brothers shoulder and he’s 6.3 u even got two shoulders?? SMS [ bucky ] : height isnt everything i got one and a half SMS [ bucky ] : so that’s half the job done right there Ur literally fighting with an arm tied behind ur back bro SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah and ill still beat you ask august abt that SMS [ bucky ] : fat chance loverboy even my fucking ex was bigger than u and I put him in A&E U fought Auggie?? u really do have a death wish SMS [ august 📷 ] : we didn't fight fight but i can beat him at armwrestling so ill take my chances with you SMS [ bucky ] : he’s got a heart probably did it bc he felt bad 4u SMS [ august 📷 ] : oh no this was a fair fight SMS [ bucky ] : says who SMS [ august 📷 ] : me and if you ask august, him too SMS [ bucky ] : ill yell at him through the door although maybe he’s not so strong he hasn’t broken it SMS [ august 📷 ] : im rooting for him to kick it down i just think itd be fun but yeah see what he says SMS [ bucky ] : i will kill you and dump ur body off a bridge SMS [ august 📷 ] : you wish i liked it better when you werent threatening murder SMS [ bucky ] : tough titties SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah i guess so SMS [ bucky ] : he won’t reply I think he might be sulking SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah well you stole his phone SMS [ bucky ] : that doesn’t make him special i don’t have a phone what was I supposed to do SMS [ august 📷 ] : get a phone of your own? SMS [ bucky ] : gross -100 why would you even suggest that SMS [ august 📷 ] : because thats what normal people do SMS [ bucky ] : what am I then Choose ur next words carefully SMS [ august 📷 ] : not normal SMS [ bucky ] : :middle_finger1: SMS [ august 📷 ] : you asked for it and i was nice SMS [ bucky ] : I am a GIFT My presence is a PRESENT You are lucky to have any of my time thank you very much SMS [ august 📷 ] : am i? i mostly remember being interrogated SMS [ bucky ] : not everyone gets that pleasure ok SMS [ august 📷 ] : do other people keep a closer eye on their phones? SMS [ bucky ] : you’d think so but no I’m pretty sure my brother has a fake one as he’s less bothered about it SMS [ august 📷 ] : which one? but it seems likely, if this is something you do a lot SMS [ bucky ] : the politician don’t see much of the other two SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah wouldnt be surprised really? i guess august said severin was a doctor SMS [ bucky ] : docs busy yeah baby’s song whatever he does mynameisuntoldYesterday at 22:12 i guess it's hard to keep track with so many of you SMS [ bucky ] : so many better get learning pal if you ever want to make it that far mynameisuntoldYesterday at 22:14 i've got a handle on what he's told me so far but yeah i'll do what i can SMS [ bucky ] : august tell you much about his side? mynameisuntoldYesterday at 22:15 a little bit - he mentioned his brother SMS [ bucky ] : Must not like you that much then SMS [ august 📷 ] : how come? he's allowed some privacy though apparently not from you SMS [ bucky ] : privacy and trust aren’t the same thing SMS [ august 📷 ] : okay yeah thats true but i dont think hes cheating or anything and if i dont have his trust thats on me SMS [ bucky ] : it is buckski SMS [ august 📷 ] : i am actually trying with him just so we're clear SMS [ bucky ] : what does trying look like cheating?? ur at the monogamy stage?? SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah i think so SMS [ bucky ] : or is this assuming?? SMS [ august 📷 ] : half assuming half it's been long enough that i wouldnt be surprised given that he's kept coming back, im counting that as a win since he's all over the world half the time SMS [ bucky ] : wow sounds like someone needs a big boy conversation SMS [ august 📷 ] : probably but im not having that with you SMS [ bucky ] : why not im a big boy SMS [ august 📷 ] : because it's between me and him SMS [ bucky ] : I am now the referee of ur relationship do u really like him SMS [ august 📷 ] : that's weird yes SMS [ bucky ] : promise me i will fuck ur life up of you mess with him im not kidding SMS [ august 📷 ] : i promise SMS [ bucky ] : im an expert at it SMS [ august 📷 ] : you've got my full backing to fucking up lives? SMS [ bucky ] : google me you’ll see he deserves someone who’s going to put him first no matter what SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah ill do that he does and i hope i can SMS [ bucky ] : so you break his heart you’ll live in total misery till ur dying day or I kill u Whichever comes first SMS [ august 📷 ] : good shovel talk its good you care about him and ill keep it in mind SMS [ bucky ] : more than anything pal you should be very afraid of me SMS [ august 📷 ] : ill allow you that id be afraid to see what youd do even if i can definitely take you in a fight SMS [ bucky ] : watch ur back I come armed which is easy in ur country SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah dont fucking remind me not to say i probably couldnt come armed too for that exact reason SMS [ bucky ] : u shoot? SMS [ august 📷 ] : not much anymore but yeah army SMS [ bucky ] : wait that’s what you meant by vet ahhhhhhhhhh SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah did you think i worked with animals fuck that's hilarious and that's why i can take you in a fight SMS [ bucky ] : shut the fuck up SMS [ august 📷 ] : no im having a good time SMS [ bucky ] : why was I supposed to think it WASNT that SMS [ august 📷 ] : because its obvious??? add the arm and you've got all the context you could want SMS [ bucky ] : you could have lost it to a big dog or a horse idk SMS [ august 📷 ] : i dont live near horses but yeah maybe or a rat theyre big here SMS [ bucky ] : HOW BIG SMS [ august 📷 ] : i knew someone who saw one that was catsized SMS [ bucky ] : yh good luck m8 of ur not a horse guy SMS [ august 📷 ] : definitely seen one close to that why oh your family yeah ive never rode SMS [ bucky ] : well now I want u to survive the fight just to die that way SMS [ august 📷 ] : ill survive the fight and watch for rogue horses
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infinite-insignia · 5 years ago
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((One bad thing I’ve been thinking abt recently is Eggman’s betrayal at the end of the war, so I guess I’ll write abt that! But heads up, it’s gonna get real angsty. And lengthy. Putting it under a read more))
Impossible. There was no way. Defeated...but how? The jackal’s body trembled, glitching as the spirit that had taken over began to lose its control. This was impossible, this wasn’t happening! Whether it was in control or not, this body could--they could still--
In a flash, the spirit’s control was broken. The jackal themselves had a hold on their own mind again--and they were panicking. This entire battle--they couldn’t stop it from taking over. They failed their mission, they broke their deal--they were supposed to help conquer the world.
And they did! They conquered it, together with Eggman--yet, at the last second, everything was falling to pieces. This...what would the Doctor say? What would he do? There had to be a way to fix this.
They struggled to get up--yet their lack of strength made the effort futile. They just...had to...to fight. Just...one more fight. They could handle that! They could fight one more battle! Just...just one--
As they struggled to move, an invisible force was pulling them away somewhere. Their mind, still in a panic, had no idea what was happening. They were glitching out, their energy was draining--they were moving all on their own. Back to Eggman’s base.
They reappeared, crashing onto the ground. They attempted to get up once more--yet they failed, falling onto their knees in defeat. That’s when they heard the footsteps. Only one person could be responsible.
The Doctor stepped into the room. It was hard to tell what his expression would be--the room was dark, and the jackal’s lack of stamina made it hard to focus on anything. The man grew closer until he stood before them--they could see his face now. He wasn’t happy.
“I’m extremely disappointed in you, Infinite,” he began. “I thought you were stronger than that. I gave you unlimited power--and yet you failed to uphold your end of the deal.”
They struggled to look at him--but maybe they could convince him to calm down somehow? “Wait--Doctor, I...I didn’t...”
“You didn’t what?”
“I didn’t...mean to...I...I didn’t think I’d...that I could...”
“Lose?” The word was spoken with enough annoyance for the jackal to flinch back a bit. Eggman was never the type to listen to reason...why did they think this was a good idea?
“Trust me, I didn’t think you could either. But, of course, my calculations were off.” 
They couldn’t see his eyes from beneath his glasses, but they were sure he was glaring at them.
“And since you’re no longer of use to me...since you’re clearly incapable of doing what I asked...” He stepped forward, causing the jackal to stare at him in...fear. They...they were scared. Even the spirit seemed on edge--almost as if it knew something was about to happen. But I don’t think it could’ve predicted what that something was.
“...The deal’s off.” Time seemed to slow as the man reached forward--and, within a second, he placed a hand on the Phantom Ruby. The jackal couldn’t respond, couldn’t think--and then it was gone.
The Phantom Ruby had been ripped out of their chest, blood staining their fur. Their eyes widened in shock and pain, a hole in their chest to replace the gem. The spirit seemed to feel some sort of pain as well--it winced, clenching its teeth for a moment before looking at the damage.
It was bad. Blood was pouring from the wound. From what it could see behind the jackal’s mask, they were barely clinging to life. But this...this couldn’t be the end! It couldn’t! There had to be a way to change this. To fix this. This wasn’t the way either of them were supposed to die! Eggman wouldn’t--
“...Pleasure doing business with you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a planet to destroy. Goodbye, Infinite.” The man turned to leave--it was as if he hadn’t cared about what he’d just done. About the fact that he...he nearly...
“Goodbye...Insignia.”
Well, what do you know? He did remember their real name after all. Not that any of that mattered. The jackal in question was too busy struggling to breathe to pay attention to things such as that. They tried to calm the bleeding by placing a hand over the wound--but that didn’t help. They were fading. Their life...was ending.
Or, at least, it would have been. The spirit suddenly sensed something--prototype shards. The prototypes were deemed too dangerous to be used in the war--and Eggman ordered each one to be destroyed, right?
Each of those destroyed gems left behind small shards. Collecting enough of them...building a stronger Phantom Ruby...it could be enough to preserve its immortality! ...And Insignia’s too, of course.
The spirit didn’t know why--but it felt they at least deserved a second chance--even if neither of them got along with each other. But the spirit was connected to them now--it couldn’t go but too far away. Technically, it couldn’t go too far from the Phantom Ruby--but that had been stolen.
With no real host, the gem could emit signals just about anywhere--but something told the spirit that Eggman wouldn’t be having the gem for much longer. He’d just get it shattered, using it like that. Probably to power a robot or something.
But it wouldn’t be getting anywhere without the jackal--which was easier said than done. Their ears were ringing, their vision was blurry...their entire body was overcome with pain. The spirit tried to talk to them--tried to say something--but they could barely hear it.
“We...go...find...pr...hol...I can...just...you...”
There’s no point in listening. What little they could hear didn’t even register in their mind. Their wound continued to bleed as their body slowly seemed to stop trembling. They were losing consciousness...and quick.
The spirit didn’t know what to do. It didn’t have much time. Maybe it could...bandage up the wound or something? Yeah, just...gotta get some bandages...ah, here we are--now we just gotta wrap the bandages around their chest.
Applying pressure to wounds...usually helped stop the bleeding, right? Because the bandages were quickly soaking up blood. They’re still bleeding. But hopefully, that’d help, right? If they both acted fast enough...if they got the shards...this wouldn’t be the end! Right?
...Neither of them would know at the moment. As the spirit hovered above them, no longer sure of how to fix this damn bleeding, the jackal’s eyes slowly shut...and everything faded to black.
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ofphcenixes · 6 years ago
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BLUE & LIBBY - text thread 001
texts from 3:55pm to 7:01pm
blue
hey lib. (: havent talked today. just wanted to drop in and see if u were doin alright i have memes if u need them
libby
i mean, technically we did talk. i reminded you of the moment the world stood still: when valentine and you made contact (1) time. are you okay though? you seem a little, weird
blue
i maintain that valentine was an alien in a spider suit that wanted to destroy me but u know what I mean djdjdjd just chats between us. the gc has been a june holden fest lately lmao hope it works out for them tho anyways i am always weird in ur eyes djdjhd. but im fine. shit was crazy that night and we never really got to talk about what happenedand if u wanted to talk i just want u to kno im here ABOUT NADIA bc yeah kdjdjjd
libby
don't talk to me or my son ever again yeah, wow, okay so holden stayed over the night. i only know that because i saw his stuff in her room? i think she mentioned that like, it was a one time thing but i feel like... he might be coming over again which.. is Interesting oh. yeah, no i think i'm okay. i guess just in shock. june is very broken up over it, so i'm doing my best to be a good pal, and bring loads of ice cream and kisses. /: do you wanna talk? about nadia? i know that she like, meant something to you
blue
ok good luck getting me to stop talkin to u but as for valentine? bye Felecia! is that right. hmm well he doesn’t seem like much is goin on so maybe they were just,, hanging out. bringing a bag over is pretty damning tho. and if he does come over and u see him tell that bih he owes me $ bc he ate my fucking chorizo salad ): r u proud lib?? I ate a salad by choice well I would have if Holden wasn’t a lil birch bitch DONT CENSOR ME fuck. im sorry. ): i actually wanted to see june today tbh. but if u need anyone pls let me know alright? id skip practice if u needed me, lib WELL. i mean ok i was sorta close with her in middle school and she’s always been a friend and I just. I’m just fucking numb tbh. I really can’t believe it
libby
i'll have you know that valentine died shortly after my 18th birthday so ): idk idk, why would they hang out in her room if they were "hanging out"? like they have history. i feel like thats, a little too ... suspicious given the context. in a good way though. like i hope it works out theyre both so miserable without each other. oh my god!! look at you go! so proud of you, dude! ( even if you never got to it lmao ) no, no, it's okay. june needs all the support she can get, and i don't wanna impede. i'm really fine, i just sort of need to accept it and i guess reflect on how terrible it is. she was a really sweet person and fuck i really cant believe any of it i guess
blue
fuck what kdjdjdnd I thought valentine just yeeted shit that’s not a good way to put it fuck but. im sorry lib ): ok I take it back Valentine was alright. still scared the fuck out of me tho all i know is that if i loved someone as much as holden loves june, i wouldn’t let you go **THEM fuck Damn phone Typos Djdjhdi can’t believe u make me eat green stuff its truly CRUEL whomst? I only know nadia just didn’t fucking deserve any of this. shit even daisey didn’t. i just want to protect everyone and i don’t know HOW it goes without saying that im happy to be ur uber driver for the indefinite future
libby
no omg, i took good care of my boy. idk what happened, they can live up to like 15 years so i was pretty bummed tbh. i was a bad mom he appreciates your support from the grave though i mean, i guess. but not everyone you love is going to love you back, i think that's where holden's at. not everyone wants to be clung to, and june seems reluctant besides, you know all about that. holden, the love of your life, loves june. how sad it's good for you!!! i'm helping i ... feel so badly for both of them. i can't imagine how their families must be feeling, fuck. i hate this. i'm moving to spain ah, dude you don't have to do all that. you probably are busy with practice, and holden, and work. thank you tho
blue
im sure ur a great mother. ): but still valentine was lucky to have u. and im sure he misses u in his weird spider heaven web of flies and whatever it is spiders like idk ill dm peter parker and find out i mean... guess that’s true. I suppose I dont get to see how june feels most of the time. i just wish they’d talk about it and sort it out at least. they both deserve to be happy holden is the loml that is true aksjjsjd. holden has enough room for both me and june in his heart. so i mean technically i can love someone else too?? but enough about that lmfao you definitely are helping. even coach has noticed dkdjd. making me better without even trying u can’t move without me who’s gonna get me free popcorn ): you’re just as important as practise and holden to me, lib.
libby
god, i miss him. you think the girls would be mad if i bought another one? like, to keep in my room.  i know! they're both obviously still in love, you can tell. i can't wait for them to overcome this and get to be together. also, im grateful for the amount of sleep i'm able to get now that... the room next to mine is less loud welp, i hope you find someone who is willing to share you with holden lol oMG, REALLY? IDK WHY THAT MADE ME IRRATIONALLY HAPPY LOL. WE CAN GET SALAD LATER let's go, we'll go to spain and take on a new identity. we can live along the coast and work in a bakery or something. get a puppy don't show holden that text he might cry. but dsjflk thank you, you're very important to me too. kinda my best pal
blue
u would have to ask. but if you did get another what would u call it? thanksgiving? funnily enough valentine is only a few weeks away. a sign?? i mean fuck ive known holden for years and can confirm he is happiest when he’s with june. when she’s not roasting him at least lmfao. and if my MasterPlan works im afraid things will get bad again djdjdj. I can take one for the team and try to get them to come over here tho - u don’t need to deal with that shit i hope i do too tbh. and who would I want it to be u ask? that’s right. danny devito. LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY IVE ALREADY HAD THREE VEGETABLES THIS WERK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY. I think it’s popcorn time 8) bold of u to assume i know where Spain is dkdjdjdjdj well he’s gonna catch on soon enough we spend every day together at this point lol
libby
i was gonna name this one patrick, after st patricks day actually lol. yes you know what's also approaching that is more important? your birthday! i know, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. he's v much a relationship kinda dude, actually bc he's also kinda slutty lol. but even june is sad and its just, SO HARD. i hate when people are clearly, happiest together are like, nO IM GOING TO PROLONG THE MISERY. i feel like we're in a rom-com. how do we get them back together? i'll let him know. my v-day gift from me to you oooo, should i get the skittles ready too then? popcorn is kinda of a veggie if you think abt it omg, okay well now you can't come with me. offer rescinded. im going with the hot cop lslsfkjdjkldfs i mean its not like we're doing anything weird, so its okay, right?
blue
ur so cute wtf. although if u did do this i hope u know im calling him patrick star. also how the fuck do u tell if its a female or a male spider theyre so small and gross. fuck it is too lol. i dont have any money so im gonna let ppl down on the party front lmao. ud still come tho, right? how can he be both slutty and relationshippy. like not to be weird bc i know hes ur cousin and all dkfjgg but he doesnt.. have people over anymore. unless hes someone learned not to stomp around the house WHICH I DONT BELIEVE. and ha hA im already on plan 384 to get them back together get on my level lmao.  we just gotta force them to spend time together tbh. does that mean i have to give u the hot cop for valentines bc i mean. i would if that's what u wanted but im sure u can do much better than him OH FUCK UR RIGHT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN A LIE TO CONVERT ME TO VEGGIES HASNT IT r u breaking up with me? well fine, ill take the dog ): it's... it's not weird unless we make it weird. and we haven't. have we?
libby
fdsjfjdsl shhhhh, back at you. Patrick Star will be his full name, i promise you this much. as for gender idfk, i am honestly assuming its pronouns lol. i'd be sued by the LGBT community if they knew. also dude, of course. i'll make you cupcakes. plus i know what i wanna buy you! i  can't wait dude what? really?? i thought he was seeing people this whole time, holy shit. dude he's really messed up over this huh? wow, okay, we need to kick this into high gear and have them get back together. tell me your plans. omg, no you clown. i don't even like him that much, he's just pretty. i do like... some personality and he has 0 GOD MY PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED. I CANT BELIEVE IT like i'd ever let you take the dog. she's mine sdfjlkdsfjlk iDK DUDE. I MAY HAVE MADE IT WEIRD BUT WE'RE BAD AT TALKING ABT STUFF, SO WE DONT HAVE TO LOL.
blue
do spiders even have gender i thought they were just the minions of evil lmfao lib u rly dont have to get me anything, really. altho now im curious tbh. but get ready for me to get a lit gift in june >:) ill even wrap it myself which says a lot bc i cant wrap for shit but i want it to be personal lmao not many that im aware of atm. will give u info is this changes. huh we r spies lib. >:) but i dont have any current plans except trying to force them to go in a photo booth together or something when we eventually go to the arcade djsjdh omg how did u know. but idk everyone speaks about him like hes gOD he’s just a dude. eyebrows on fleek tho I will say that IM SO HURT UD USE ME LIKE THIS LIB. ALL THIS TIME WE WERE GETTING CLOSE AND U WERE ONLY HERE FOR THE VEGGIES so u get Spain AND the dog. what do I get, sadness ???? you haven’t made it weird lib, i promise. not to me, anyway. maybe we both wanted the same thing. maybe. oR MAYBE NOT LMFAO but yeah we can talk about whatever lol
libby
don't talk about nate like that omg! i want to, plus its a surprise so no asking what it is. also wow i cant believe you remember my birthday, lol. you dont have to get me anything. you can buy me an ice cream though oh my gOD THAT'S BRILLIANT! aw, what if they take one of those cute kiss pictures in the photobooth like in the movies? i can't wait for them to love each other again, they're so cute. are you jealous that no one is talking about your eyebrows? you have nice eyebrows and nothing to be jealous abt GOD, IM SO SORRY. ROY HIRED ME. HE WAS WORRIED ABT YOUR HEALTH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY. I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD /: you get the memory of what we were to keep you warm right, cool. noted
blue
why do u talk about the string bean all the time i know u grew up with him but seriously he's like a pale pipe cleaner that i dont need in my life ofc i remeber ur birthday lib. dont u remember ur 10th?? probably the best day of my life lmao. and if u get me something i get u something thats how this works as long as june doesnt say anything mean and holden say anything stupid, its a pretty solid plan tbh. im not jealous HOW DARE ROY PLAY ME LIKE THIS. cant believe u betrayed me lib, after all we've been through ;-; but what if i want something to sell off now that u took the house oh fuck lib i didn't mean it like that. just... pretend i said nothing ok and. yeah talk about something else
libby
hey sorry, i gotta go. talk tomorrow.
blue
oh is everything ok? but alright talk tomorrow then i guess bye lib
libby
night
blue
its 6pm lib but okay night
blue
lib if i did something u dont have to tell me but pls know i didnt mean it, whatever it was. i hope youre okay. but i wont bother u again i promise. just. yeah
libby
it's okay, dude. i'm fine. it's honestly my own fault, it's not you. you're always great. i'm sorry. it's fine
blue
i dont understand what ur talking about but i can tell u dont want to so ill just... leave this. but you're always great too lib. the greatest, in fact. just let me know if ur still coming to the arcade later or not yeah
libby
i guess i'll go. i like pacman.
blue
if u... if u change ur mind i understand. but i really hope u can make it.
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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years ago
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primes And multiples of 8
oh Thank You this sure turned out to be a bunch of questions lol, what else is better for keeping occupied on go stupid sunday
2: Favorite book?
lbh i don’t have one 
3: Favorite fictional character?
oh god lmao i mean again when it comes to Favorite ___ i have no *real* answers but atm i keep just sitting here staring at the quant don’t i
5: What’s your favorite fictional ship? (Canon or otherwise)
even with the “i don’t have Favorite anything” factor even this is always like. my ass doesn’t know how to Not like, think up a good half dozen or more potential relationships or whatever and decide they’re all fun……im rarely like “wow even narrowed down to this one particular Media i live and die by this otp within it”…….boring answer but really like even if this was applied Just to some particular work where i’m [staring at a Fave] or whatever i still dunno if there’s anything where i’m not #about [multiple possible Relationships]
7: List 3 negative traits you have
ooh fantastic. let’s lump “Too: passive / avoidant / nonconfrontational” into one, rest in pieces u_u. #2 im a lil temperamental lmao like, bit too much sometimes. #3 despite number one there i also don’t have a world of restraint lmfao which is just like. how i be but can certainly be a downside sometimes
8: How does someone become important to you?
idk i virtually always meet ppl via Mutual Interest……my social sphere is mainly “friendly acquaintances” or whatever where it’s like i may or may not have talked to most of them in the past >[0.5 years]………just a process really of “we Keep Interacting” and “we like each other” lmao like. it’s both very not difficult and also. difficult lol
11: How do you decide when it’s time to cut someone out of your life for good?
uhh not like there’s a strict analytical methodology here but i guess it’s like “hmm this person makes me p miserable / i do not even actually like having them in my life” lmao
13: What are your favorite lyrics currently?
ooh the “currently” Might make a Favorite question easier but i don’t even have Favorite Lyrics Currently lmao. it’s lucky if i’m even paying attention well enough to stuff to absorb the lyrics the first like dozen times i listen to a song and also i’m rarely like “oo Resonant” when it comes to lyrics anyway?? does it count if more than survive gets stuck in my head….even then it’s like. i always like the “of all the characters at school i am not the one who the story’s about” while Blatantly Being The Protagonist lmao b/c like…..idk i never like story structures where the protagonist is just like clearly kinda elevated like Obviously The Hero B/c They’re Better Than Everyone Around Them or something like more important / deserving than other people and i definitely find it harder to care about / connect with Protagonists / ~main characters~ who are treated like that. and obviously bmc is really not about that either lmao i appreciate that a lot
16: What is something you really want?
i think we can all agree our lives could be improved with money. also….in these times of covid…….. :| would want literal immunity for people……..april 2020……
17: If you could make a wish, what would you wish for if you knew it would come true?
i mean damn see above like. got the Wish Tiers like “personal things re: myself in particular” and “for people i personally know / smaller stuff i care about” but like damn in this day and age especially it’d be like well, Humanity Not Being Destroyed is kinda a thing isn’t it. can’t have any slightly more fun wishes b/c these [systems] will be like [exists and affects everything horribly]
19: How do you handle heartbreak? Is it something that’s easy for you to get over, or something you struggle with?
is it easy for anyone to get over!! i don’t have to deal with romantic heartbreak though which i guess is what it means. galaxy braining that issue lmfao
23: What do you want your future to be like?
man ties in with 16 and 17 but also like we sure exist under capitalism always don’t we, and it’s tricky when like “it would be nice to have a small personal apartment to live in wouldn’t it” is this fever dream for all of us. but it Would be nice. having the time and money for Making Food whenever you feel like, right. it’s always like “if i was in a situation where i could just bake something due to Feeling like it i’d probably be doing okay” lmao. love to have access to healthcare someday. it’s all like depressingly low standards that are also depressingly ~unrealistic~ lol like i do not Ponder the future much. i also don’t have like, longtime aspirations/dreams or even Not longtime ones so i can’t be like “would love to have a career in/doing ___” but also yknow im good with I Don’t Need A Dream Job, would just like jobs to be non-horrible and to have time to like, do shit on my own outside of that, b/c that’s what i like to do lol…..but then also it would be fun to like, one way or another, get to spend a lot of time putting effort into some kind of in-some-way-Collaborative Project / Endeavor and get to be really engaged. the idea of getting to be around multiple people who it’s fun to be around and it doesn’t feel super temporary is Wild like, intimidating to listen to “the bar song” b/c i’ll just cry after 3 seconds. also i just like to be around people like, used to think that being anxious and all i wouldn’t want to live in a city but probably the opposite’s true….yeah i like to have a space where i can be alone / unobserved but i also like to at any time be able to be Amongst ppl even if not interacting with them (and also im usually more relaxed interacting w/ strangers than ppl i know)…….but really i have no details i’m just fingers crossed that at any given time i’m more than a couple steps away from like the post about [body wearing the funniest hat you’ve ever seen] lmfao and like. would rather not die in a pandemic either
24: Have you ever met someone you never thought you’d become close to?
in an “and i was right” way, sure lol, but otherwise i don’t think so
29: Do you think zodiac signs can influence someone’s personality to an extent?
it’s like Not Really But How Would I Know and yet i’m gonna kill everybody doing the shit just treating it like alternate myer-briggs types like delete your tweets 
31: What does ‘self care’ look like for you? 
#selfcare idk. me passing out or making the effort of getting food? great to step outside and pet a cat i guess but also that’s just fun. i don’t have a real methodology or approach here either. is me reblogging ask memes to ask for attention / distraction self care? is Napping to reset the mood self care? you be the judge
32: If you could go back in time and re-live your life up to this point, knowing everything that you know now, would you make different decisions?
eh not really……tfw everything that is the way it is now including “knowing what you know now” is a result of everything having happened exactly the way it already did……..
37: Have you ever been surprised by someone staying in your life?
i’m like Only surprised by it
40: What makes you feel confident?
thinking abt the tweet(?) which is like “when ur walking around in public pretend crazy in love is playing”……being around the lgbtqs obviously…..feeling able to Be Funny b/c like. that depends on the people i’m around too lol.
41: How do you show you care?
love languages……..uh i will do Favors. acts of service or whatever lol. i also like to give gifts. compliments??? idk it’s hard to judge this lmao i will cheer someone on, usually figuratively lol…….Liking A Tweet idk. an attempt was made
43: Which of the seven deadly sins do you feel represents you the most?
we need better sins. am i vainglorious for being opinionated / stubborn. "being not cishet” probably would be considered lust, and that’s a pretty important thing lmao. lust for life….the illicit sexual desire of being An Lgbtq…… i feel like i can be impatient, so i supposed that’s wrathfulness……hard to choose just one and yet again also. the list bites
47: What are you passionate about?
easily a lot of stuff that i find Engaging b/c i’m just sort of like that but i mean. easy answer is just: [interests]
48: Have you ever started to try learning about a subject only to realize it’s not something you enjoy?
not really……if i’m trying to learn something myself i probably had some level of “already knowing i like it to some degree” to even have the motivation in the first place
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survivingthejungle · 8 years ago
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never fade away, part iv
-i cant tell y'all how much research ive done to write this realistically like im really educating myself here -also i made a playlist fr this hmu if u wanna listen to it -also im writing this while im home alone in my room happy new year lmfao
You had officially been a missing person for 8 days according to the GCPD. Within those days, you had been with nobody but Jerome almost exclusively. You were kept locked in his room all day and all night, and the only time you were ever allowed out was if Barbara and Tabitha decided they wanted to spend time with you. They were nice enough, for a couple of psychopaths, but they still made you tense up when they got near to you.
The same went for Jerome. He was dead set on making you dependent on him. Constantly telling someone that you were all they had and that no one would ever care about them except for you was a pretty well known abuse tactic. So was telling someone that you would do something harmful or irrational if they left you. And with you being 15 and not having a fully developed brain, and being hormonally unstable at this age, he was probably planning to keep up with these tactics until he had brainwashed you into believing it.
All you could hope to do was remind yourself constantly that he was lying. After all, in abusive relationships, it starts out small, and by the time it’s escalated to full blow abuse, the guilty party has already convinced their victim that when they are being told is true. You, on the other hand, had been snatched off the streets and had this all thrown in your face. If the abuse started off at it’s worst, there was no way he’d ever convince you to believe him, right?
Realistcially, you knew that as long as you remained strong-willed, he wouldn’t be able to get to you. All you could do was pray that you could manage to convince him that he had control over you while simultaneously remaining yourself.
Yesterday he came back to your shared room in the afternoon, after a morning of terrorizing the streets of Gotham. Your back was facing him. You sat on the cool tile floor of the bedroom, right in front of the glass window, starting out at the city. “Hey there,” he said, and you didn’t even have to look at him to know he was grinning. You could hear it in his tone. It amazed you that a person could smile that much, insane or not.
“Hi,” you responded, still not moving away from the window. You couldn’t help it, you missed freedom and being outside, no matter how bleak and dreary the city was. Anything was better than being stuck in one room with an escaped asylum inmate who was dead-set on having you for himself.
“(y/n), babe,” he said, sitting down on the floor next to you. His face was a little more serious now and he put an arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer to him. “Y'gotta stop starin’ out windows all day. It’s not good for your head.” He tapped your forehead with his free hand.
“Sorry.” You were still having to remind yourself to not fight back at him. “I’ll stop.”
He smiled. “Y'know, if you keep being good, Theo might let ya go to that gala that's in like...2 days. Yeah, me n’ Babs are gonna put on a show, do a little magic, kill a few people…” Your heart started racing. You were fully aware that he was a terrible person and had kind of figured out by now that he had killed people before, but the fact that he was able to imply it so nonchalantly was unsettling to you. “‘Course, ’m not sure if I want you to see all that. You’re too pure for that sorta stuff… Hey, if I let you go out, you won’t try anything, right?“
"No. I won’t.” Lie. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind you would try to escape if you were given the chance. But he didn’t know that.
He smiled again. “Good! And why is that?” It was like he was… quizzing you, or something. In a way, you guessed he kind of was. After all, he had been trying to brainwash you into being completely dependent on him, and you were going to do and say whatever you had to to convince him it was working.
“Because you’re all I have. And… you would find me anyway… and if I tried to leave... someone might get hurt.”
"Exactly, baby girl. 'M glad we're on the same page." Suddenly he straightened his posture and became more alert. "Ooh!" He pointed his finger in the air. "Reminds me. You're famous!" He stood up and grabbed your hand so that you would follow him. He grabbed a newspaper off a dresser by the door. You both sat down on the end of the bed as he handed you the paper. "Look!" He pointed to the second page and then rested his chin in the palm of his hand, staring at you. You looked at the paper and your eyes were almost immediately drawn to a picture of... you?
It was a picture taken by one of your friends from school. You were grateful that at least it wasn't a yearbook picture. The caption above read: MISSING PERSON: Have You Seen This Girl? in big, bold letters. The caption below was just your name, age, and the number to contact the police department. "Oh," was the only word you could think to utter.
"Yeah," he said, "'M gonna have to talk to them about that. You aren't missing!"
What? "I'm not?"
He scoffed. "'Course not! You're exactly where you're supposed to be. With me."
"Oh. Right."
He took the paper and set it down on the bed, standing up and taking you with him. All he did then was hold you close. One arm was around your shoulders, causing you to be pressed up against his chest. The other was running his fingers through your hair. Your heart was racing, and at the same time you felt calm. It was weird and made you want to crawl out of your skin. He rocked the both of you side to side. "I can't wait to show you off later. You'll look so pretty, you'll steal the show."
Just play along, you reminded yourself. "I'm looking forward to it." To getting away from you, creep, you thought.
"Good." He sighed. "Babs is gonna wanna dress you up. But we can wait till tomorrow, right?"
"Right." You were monotone, but inwardly you felt giddy as ever. Two days until you would escape. You would do everything you could to see him behind bars after that. People who kidnapped fifteen year old girls because they were weirdly obsessed with them deserved to be locked into a padded room for a rest of their lives.
But while you occupied your time daydreaming of your freedom, you couldn't help but feel like your life would never be the same once you escaped. Of course it won't be, you told yourself, people who get taken by crazy boys who try to brainwash them are never the same afterward. But you would be damned if you let the experience control your life once you were free.
YAAAAAAAA YEET! 'tisn't over yet......... of course.......... i am very tired and feel weird and so if this chapter is dumb it's because i don't feel like myslef rn,,,,,,,,,, very weird........,,,,,,,,, PLEASE for the loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee let me know if u like it, i am workin on other stuff atm too i swEAR i haven't forgotten abt those other request im just busy and tired a lot anyway YEAH here u go hope u enjoy :-)
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