#makes me think abt how I actually killed him in my canon

[quackurucho]

i think its very funny how embarrassingly down bad cquackity was for ccharlie Immediately right off the bat. maybe its just their limited improv/semi-lore screentime that enhances the feeling but like he literally just took him, taught him how to gamble for like 40 minutes and then immediately started saying shit like “you are my best friend you are the greatest friend that i have”. there was NOTHING gradual or reluctant about it he pretty much leaped into his arms without question

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

.

[daistea]

regarding the possessive obsessive bf mithrun i imagine its to be expected that someone who hasnt had any desires for ?? years would get kinda intense abt the things theyre cultivating the ability to feel desire for !

RIGHT?? take my hand, walk into the light with me..

//Spoilers

Honestly, I headcanon that he was like that before the dungeon too. To an extent. There’s this post I like that implies that Mithrun didn’t actually truly love the elf girl from before, he just wanted to possess her because, you know, insecurity and complexes and brother issues.

He wanted to be loved, to possess, to feel worthy. I think that definitely could lead into possessiveness.

the most gorgeous boy in the world 🫣 kiss kiss smooch smooch, my little walking red flag

Anyway, post-demon those feelings go away. He still has emotions and a personality obviously. There’s still glimpses of who he was, but he doesn’t care about the old insecurities. They’re not there anymore. The inferiority complex is gone. He’s just Mithrun, demon killing machine, living only for one thing. I mean it’s canon that he’s already obsessive.

(I know the word ‘obsessed’ being used here is probably just translation liberties, but the idea still remains. If it’s genuinely ‘obsessed’ in Japanese though, I’ll be very pleased.)

I do think it’s possible to have a relationship with him at this point, but it won’t be conventional— that’s true of any relationship with him at any point in his life though. You’ll always be second. He’s not as invested, not as possessive, but I do think that’s just a natural part of his personality as well and it would still pop up on occasion.

THE MOST EVEN GORGEOUSER BOY IN THE WORLD 🥺 kiss kiss smooch smooch

Post-canon Mithrun has decided to live, to help make the broth in a stew or soup, to find use in himself. Yay!

I like the idea of Mithrun deciding to spend his life with someone simply because he enjoys their company, but my favorite thought is him developing a new desire— it’s not a simple desire for a relationship, though. It’s a desire for you. It’s very specific.

When Mithrun develops a new desire, he can’t ignore it. He needs it. He needs every ounce of it. If this desire is for a specific person, then he wants every ounce of them. This possessiveness doesn’t necessarily come from insecurity or inferiority like it used to. It’s from desperation and excitement. He trusts you. If he gets jealous it’s not because he thinks you’re going to cheat, it’s because he sees it and thinks, “They’re mine. Nobody else is allowed to have them.” It’s offensive that someone would even try to take you from him.

He wants his desire close to him. He’s clingy. He’s absolutely shameless. He doesn’t hide his feelings, but he doesn’t really say them out loud either, that’s just not how he rolls. He shows his feelings through actions. Are those actions genuinely unhinged sometimes? Yes.

You’ve got a friend who’s kinda worried that this elf guy is getting too attached? Mithrun has Cithis brain wash your friend into supporting your relationship so they don’t try to get in the way. Is that morally wrong? Don’t care didn’t ask

You want to do something very dangerous? Too bad, you’re getting tied to a chair so you can’t leave. Kick and scream all you want, he’s not risking losing you.

And he does it all with a straight face and no dramatics, too. They’re very normal things for him to do, obviously.

He’s very normal about you, obviously.

He wants every bit of your attention, every touch, every second, every year you have to offer. Does he say that out loud? No. But he wants it.

And when Mithrun actually wants something, he’s going to meticulously tear apart the stars one by one to get it. He hasn’t really wanted anything in 40-ish years. Doesn’t he deserve it?

[jewishregulus]

i could talk for hours abt regulus being a college drop out like it just fits him so well. I’m sorry i know the public will disagree but no one gets him like i do. he thinks he has to go to uni and get a degree bc it’s what hes supposed to do but honestly ? he doesn’t like it he wants to learn at his own pace w his own structure he wants to explore the world he has barred himself from for so long . like i love fics where reg drops out and gets like a sugar daddy just to have the money to go to the fanciest art museums across the world and look through them at his own pace….. free from his parents to do what he wants in his own way, not in theirs ….. my sweet angel boy

so many ppl think that regulus like genuinely wants to be like his parents and do what they do and that!! is so wrong…. even in canon…. yes he willingly joined the D.E but it’s bc he didn’t realize he could do anything else … why would he think abt anything else ???? he doesn’t have any other life this is his only option. so he will live in denial abt how much he actually wants it. he’s alicentpilled in that way (those who know know)….

that’s why the moment regulus realizes he’s unhappy he literally kills himself instead of trying to rebel: he doesn’t think he Can rebel. this is his only option. if he is miserable living like this than living will just be miserable. he only has one other thing to do and that would be to die.

anyways back on topic Soz but i don’t like it when reg like owns a business or still gets his masters or a phd or something like to me that doesn’t feel like him … i’m a big fan of sirius n reg ending up in the opposite of spots as to where their parents expected. his parents thought sirius would end up poor and uneducated doing odd jobs for cash and regulus, their puppet child, would end up rich and successful making connections and such…. and then it turns out sirius gets an education and proves himself as capable of being something without them, and regulus let’s go of his parents standards of living. sirius is designing his business cards while regulus is smoking weed in the back of barty’s fuck ass car . they are both at peak happiness. regulus gets to live his own life.

sirius proves to himself he is worth something and capable outside of his family, that he can succeed without them, that he isn’t going to fall from grace without them, and regulus proves to himself that the fall from grace isn’t much of a fall, and that he’s happier with the people he loves than with the career his parents wanted for him. that’s my vision

[stuffyflowers]

follow up to the bad driving post from yesterday. explanations under cut also feel free to argue with me lol

So basically top left = characters who drive badly but not in a way that will cause a crash, top right = characters who are actually all things considered good at driving, bottom left = characters who should not be behind the wheel ever, bottom right = characters who are good drivers in theory/most of the time, but certain factors can make them become car crash material.

Dalv: In my mind, Dalv is the most cautious and safe driver ever, to the point where he loops back around to being a shit driver. You do not want to get stuck in a lane behind this guy he will not go even CLOSE to the speed limit. He will probably let you through when he has right of way. etc etc. Ig on the bright side he doesnt get into enough situations where a car crash could really occur? yay?

El Bailador: Kind of guy who drives windows down music blaring probably speeding slightly at all times but somehow has never had anything bad happen to him. he is being protected by higher powers because he is sooooooo nice and cool :)

Ace: Ridicules all his friends for being bad drivers then actually gets behind the wheel and he sucks almost as bad. Yk, given how his whole thing in the Wild East is facepalming at the five's antics while arguably being worse than a lot of them in that regard. Why are you encouraging a child to gamble. Why are you tormenting blackjack with mooch. Whats his problem

Edward: Okay I didnt really know where to put Ed.. Hes in a weird situation where,, i think his biggest problem would be finding a car thats actually suited to him. Like how he wants to play the guitar but his hands are too big to actually play any of the ones they have. After that though, I think he'd be pretty good, at least decent! He does have some anger issues to deal with (beat up blembino that one time lol) that could cause problems but hes working on it :)

Moray: Pretty self explanatory. The most normal feisty five member. Probably their designated driver 90% of the time. The only reason theyre not completely top is bc their one weakness is whilst they ARE the voice of reason, they do ultimately go along w the group most of the time even if they feel whats happening is wrong. Maybe picks up on the five's bad habits a bit? Overall still a trustworthy pick for driver i think.

Flowey: Ok.do not take this too seriously..............Ik he doesnt have feet for th pedals but consider. Its funny. He can use his vines trust me (also even if he cant physically drive i feel like he'd have a really good understanding of driving. guy who has read every book is bound to have useless knowledge on topics that arent at all relevant to him. and you cant crash the car if youre not driving i guess!!!!!!!!!! but also. funny.)

Ceroba: Similar case as Ed. Actually good at driving but holy fuck the road rage. I feel she'd be worse at responding to it than him bc she has so little self respect. very "I will kill us both😳" attitude abt tailgating and shit like that. Usually better at keeping it in when shes driving with someone else.

Martlet: Maybe she should be furthest down bc she is the only one to canonically crash a vehicle…, Idk I feel like she’d be sliiiightly better w a car where her focus has to be constantly checked, she cant get distracted while filling in questionnaires with clover if she’s driving. That being said she is still. Yeah.

Mooch: similar to mart. Just cannot see her being a good driver. Sorry girl </3

Starlo: starlo.

Axis: faceplanted right in the center bc hes a wild card to me. Would he have insufferable road rage? Would he actually be pretty chill and responsible? Can he even drive if his foot is a singular wheel? Who knows.

[maodear]

This is me yapping about alien stage to its fullest. I Mostly yap abt round 7 and the video All-in

Till is alive. I think. Because in the end of round 7, his little stupid picture flicks. And his earpiece that probably tracks his heart rate ((checking on his breathing probably??) fell out. So that’s why it flickers since the alien doesn’t know if he’s still alive or not.

SO. HYUNA & MIZI CAN GRAB HIS ASS AND RUN AWAY. ((And I guess Luka too..)

Though realistically, I think Till will survive due to him having such a big role in alien stage. I don’t think Vivinos is THAT evil to let him die, if Ivan already sacrificed himself.

But I do think that Hyuna and Luka will definitely go against each other. (Or what if Till survives and goes against Mizi or smth.. and Hyuna goes against Luka. ???) because 3 is a odd number. (Yeah I didn’t know) Having 3 go against each other would be difficult. Why have 3 when you could get 4? And two more bonus rounds am I right? ((Please leave till alone. He’s my son. Yes I am his mom. Canon.)

Mizi and Hyuna will definitely get captured. No way they will be able to get out of a stage. FILLED with aliens all round. No way. Unless Dewey & Issac bomb the whole place and happy ending.

One of the most anticipated to happen is Hyuna and Luka going against each other. Maybe finally would Luka will show fear? And crack his “perfect” appearance. I would love to see him break because of Hyuna.

As much as I love Hyuluka. It cannot work, because Luka (maybe?) killed Hyunas brother. I have no idea how Hyuna could possibly forgive him.

Unless.. he didn’t? ((Which he probably did but let me cook. I want some hope.)

((Yes he probably did. But I want to put this theory somewhere)

In Hyunas All-in video, during the flashback to the Hyun-woo and Luka “fight” Luka was bleeding from the side of his head,but when looking at Hyun-woo’s hand. He had no blood on his hand? What if the fight was started by Hyun-woo? Possibly since Luka was rather odd to Hyuna. I don’t think Luka would start a fight, due to his conditions. It doesn’t click in my mind for him to fight. What if Hyun-woo hit him on the rock first? I mean hyun-woo didn’t have any blood on his hand. The whole scene isn’t shown. We don’t el know what fully happened. Not saying Hyun-woo is in the bad AT ALL. If he did, then Luka for sure deserved it. And maybe a fight broke out. Causing Luka to kill Hyun-woo.

Luka probably wasn’t that old in that time. Most can be 15. At that age, no matter what. The feeling of killing is horrid. Yes maybe Luka did intend to hurt him. But not kill him. Has it been shown in comics. It did show that Luka and Hyun-woo would fight and Hyuna would break them up. I mean boys usually fight. Look and Ivan and Till.

I read a theory that said Luka might have PBA. Which causes you to laugh,smile or giggle in inappropriate situations. Even if you don’t truly find it funny or even if you’re actually horrified. 

And do remember that Heperu taught Luka to overcome Fear. Possibly he messed up Luka that much, to make him laugh or smile even if he is truly scared. (Which also explains why he is also shown trembling.)

No way am I saying Luka is innocent. He’s a bitch but I feel like people do forget that he is also a victim as everyone else. Alien stage is a fucked up show, which Vivinos will not let us be happy 😭 We can only be happy in the Actor Au..

[appleflavoredkitkats]

let's talk abt c!fundy, as a whole:

i don't really know what i want the flow of this post to be. i don't really have any goals in mind, but i really, really, wanted to talk about c!fundy. i don't think i can intellectually cover his storyline arc by arc because, well, i don't actually think i'm capable of doing that in excruciating detail (especially for l'manberg and nlm) but. oh my god i need to talk about him. and my experience i had backing his character up ever since the pet wars.

takes about fundy as an underrated character only became popular around the time manberg ended. a big contributing factor to this is that dsmp recap and update accounts on tumblr and twt only started thriving by that time. so basically, a lot of pre-end of manberg stuff done by cc's who weren't tommy, wilbur, or quackity tended to be ignored, because nobody realized there were more pov’s to consider.

and tbh! as much as i was a bitter fan last 2020, i do want to acknowledge this isn't the fault of the fans. but of course this doesn't come without repercussions. a good portion of people only realized fundy was a spy for pogtopia only when he revealed it to wilbur. this comes as a surprise to me at that time because fundy confirmed as early as eret's election results stream that he was going to pretend to be a traitor.

but okay, that's well and settled. but i guess the bigger issue back then i grappled with a lot as a fundy fan was that many people described fundy's eventual reverence to schlatt and his “disownment” of wilbur to be out of nowhere or uncalled for. as someone who has paid attention to fundy to a tee ever since the pet wars, there is so much little things that occurred that built up fundy's dislike towards wilbur.

for one— wilbur's absence and belittlement of the pet war fiasco. although i'll give it that the pet wars is more of an exploration of fundy's character, especially as a friend to others, rather than something that proved wilbur's neglect. the elections was really where things start becoming finicky. from the mix of tommy saying fundy “would have been exiled from l'manberg if he weren't wilbur's son” (which caused him to create coconut2020) to him not siding with wilbur in the election debates, expressing his feelings of exclusion within l'manberg. there are so many moments, expressions of frustrations for how belittled he feels in the eyes of wilbur and tommy.

and, well, i think this is explored very uniquely in manberg, but in a more subtle way. yes we know about the disowning and the charged exchanges he and wilbur had, but i think that. his relationship with schlatt is one of the more undervalued things about manberg. we know about all the rampant dadschlatt headcanons with tubbo, but oh my god, i need more people to see that it is literally canon that fundy saw schlatt as a father figure and schlatt viewed fundy as his son.

that dynamic is so unexplored. the way fundy first started as a traitor, then almost got caught by schlatt with schlatt telling him that. he hopes fundy can be someone he trusts to make manberg great. man to man. schlatt has continuously raised the ranks fundy had in manberg, makes him tag along in different events. fundy made the schlatt throne and the decorations for manberg.

fundy gave up being a spy because he thought schlatt respected him more than wilbur. then, schlatt killed some cats during the festival and blew it all. i think, on one hand, it's funny this is all it took. on the other, fundy has shown to have massive reverence for the pets that exist in this server. the pet war especially, where it's not only fungi who he avenged but beelloon and niki's fish and farm animals and his own endermen. he himself even couldn't kill skechers. he was upset in nlm when tubbo accidentally killed his fox.

and again, wilbur's absence during the pet wars spoke loudly to him, so when he sees wilbur in schlatt for the first time, he drops him.

there's also sort of a meta angle with fundy being sidelined as a character. i always mention this in my own posts, but yeah. i believe cc!fundy mentioned during manberg that it was hard playing a villain because his views plummeted. and i also find it interesting that cc!fundy didn't stream a lot of pivotal moments in the dsmp during nlm, like schlatt's funeral and the butcher army fiasco. he wasn't even present during the disc war finale.

i can never in my life assume whatever cc!fundy wanted for his character, but i remember, before las nevadas was announced, i came to terms with realizing that i cannot control whatever cc!fundy wanted with his character. if he wanted to step away from the dsmp then i supported it, because if he didn't find himself having fun doing all that, or he thinks not a lot of people liked his character despite his efforts, then i get it.

doomsday isn't my favorite fundy moment. it's subjective, and definitely a hot take among the fundy community, but to me letting go and breaking down felt like a low hanging fruit for him, because genuinely i didn't expect it. there's no build up to it. not in the neglect department, no, fundy definitely has been traumatized enough. but i feel like the manner in which this was expressed felt too angry to be in character— which, tbh, is bold of me to say because who am i to question cc!fundy's character decisions. but genuinely there wasn't a lot of streams in between that and other emotional beats to warrant a heavy breakdown like that.

ok, before i get skewered, what i'm saying is that i think doomsday tends to overshadow everything else fundy did because a lot of fans really wanted some kind of villain arc like that from him. and as cool as the “i want to make them cry” thing is, i don’t think fundy breaking down angrily like that and giving up on everything is representative of his entire character, especially when we see the larger picture with las nevadas and his reunion with wilbur.

fundy is emotional, but not angry. he gets angry at wilbur for almost leaving during their reunion, but he pleads immediately after. he yelps “what the fuck?” at quackity when quackity belittles his achievements, but he pleads “i don't know what to do” softly when quackity compares him to l'manberg fading away.

fundy's character hopes easily, gets attached easily, which is why his breakdown to me feels like a puzzle piece that doesn't fit. to be fair, i can't expect all things in the dsmp to be executed perfectly! and if it weren't for las nevadas, doomsday would've probably been the finale for fundy's storyline, and it makes more sense to view it that way.

but imma just say, thank the fuck it wasn't.

my most favorite thing about fundy would be his consistency, especially with what kind of baggage his character brings within every arc. i think the las nevadas episode that showcases how quackity manipulated him into joining establishes exactly what fundy’s character is in essence.

when quackity compared him to the fading buildings in l'manberg, we got it. we got the confirmation i wanted on what his character is supposed to be, and that is— principally and representatively, he is l'manberg. wilbur's definition of what l'manberg's supposed to be. originally, l'manberg prided itself on peaceful unity that didn't rely on minecraft pvp as a source of power, which is the complete antithesis of the entire cycle of violence we observe in the dsmp later on.

of course, wilbur lets go of these ideas being realistic after they win, then completely gives up mid-pogtopia arc, because to him, l'manberg is a manifestation of his ideologies succeeding. if it doesn't, then l'manberg is nothing. so what does it mean then, in this case, if l'manberg was something wilbur promised to fundy?

well. to me that means wilbur succeeded. fundy is l'manberg. let me explain.

fundy, like tubbo, was present in all iterations of l'manberg. he was close to every single president, usually one of their backups whenever an event occurs. this also happens with las nevadas. he becomes blindlessly devoted to someone if they give him a lick of attention, something wilbur never gave him, but more importantly, his presidents promised him safety and prosperity. when he and schlatt fought before schlatt died, fundy mentioned he sided with schlatt until he ruined plans with manberg.

this is why he also believed in nlm, in las nevadas. he believes in the upturn of cyclical violence in the dsmp, unconditionally and devotedly. he created flags for manberg and lnv, hell, even gogtopia, and he as a dutch also inspired l'manberg's flag. while i also don't think he fully embodies the idea of peace (he is a prankster after all), he definitely embodies how that pacifistic mindset is viewed or treated in the dsmp.

which explains how he dies, i suppose. he dies diving into the l'manberg crater, after cutting ties with wilbur. it's metaphorical in one way, and sad in the other. on one hand, it makes sense. if the embodiment of l'manberg and its principles cut its ties from wilbur, especially considering that the dsmp ends a few months later without ending the cycle of violence, of course they would die. they would disappear.

it would explain why cc!wilbur explains the scene as fundy wanting to get as far away from wilbur as much as possible, not to end it all.

on the other hand, it's sad because… if your entire character is dependent on that toxic connection to nationalism, l'manberg, and wilbur, then, what are you? a few days later, fundy donates the schlatt sword he holds dear and calls an “heirloom” away to the museum. he stands in the rain and disappears from the dsmp forever.

sometimes i wonder what fundy would be, independent of l'manberg. to be okay with being alone, with not involving himself in countries with big plans of power.

it's a hard thing to figure out because we never see fundy after that moment. even before those moments, fundy defined himself always from the way he gets belittled. even the fact that he is a prankster gets roped into this, because he is often made a punchline to other characters like schlatt, phil, tommy, and more. no one takes him seriously. if everyone treats your existence as nothing but a joke, what part of you, then, is real?

we never got to understand what fundy's dreams mean, in the end. we've only seen two instances of this, although in the stream where he finds out wilbur is alive again, he mentions having multiple dreams seeing wilbur. i guess what i can offer is that fundy having such a useful power such as prophetic dreams just proves how he has no one to report things to.

it's like greek myth's cassandra. he's gifted with the skill of knowledge and foresight that he literally cannot use because no one takes him seriously. theoretically, he could have predicted dream's escape, charlie's death, but if he has no one he could trust, what's the point?

fundy’s so much more than what people see him as, inside lore and outside. his entire character explores what it means to be sidelined, to constantly question your worth because of other's input to the point you become it. and when we finally get the catharsis of him letting go, he becomes… nothing. he disappears.

it's sad to see fundy's storyline end this way, but as a fan, i think it felt complete. it felt right. a friend once told me closure is a luxury in the dsmp and fundy is not exempt from that. i'm happy cc!fundy was able to at least tell us a complete story like that, and i'm happy to have met so many fundy fans throughout my entire time here.

he's a great character. i'm happy that he at least exists and prospers in our eyes.

[borzoilover69]

Dirkjake fic recs?

THE GRAND FIC LIST:

calvariae - tony artreactor cw for talks of suicide, average toxic yaoi, epilogues-ish. starts off with a spectacular rant from dirk strider abt how platos a little bitch and ends in a way that had me sitting on the sidewalk on an afternoon remnicising like an old war veteran

empty nester - conejita cw for grooming mention, toxic yaoi, alchohol, so on so forth. literally the brograndpa fic of all time hands down, this fic is one of the best dirkjake fics this year. literally could not recommend more.

integuement -drew lifevoid jake eats a deer. dirk likes breaking into houses. somehow, this started a rather heated debate between me and my friends about how to get blood out of a cableknit sweater. what else do you need to know to get to read this? please read this. 10/10 fic.

head over heels - space gays that arent in space cw for lobotomy and suicide attempt, unhealthy relationships also nsfw. also onesided dirkjake. Dirkcentric. i really do NOT recommend reading this if you arent in the right headspace. otherwise its great.

bones of black marrow - aka that one insane html dirkjake fic CW for a lot of things including cannibalism gore nsfw weaponry seizures just a whole handful of stuff. heed the tags. interesting story story though i read this during work because im not a pussy. Really long.

upgrade - hotelroomservice & rykitty cw for suicide attempt grievous injury err death and fucked up ness. will have you sitting back in your chair by the end staring up at your ceiling. based on the movie of the same name. really really really awesome.

lunar calendar - tony artreactor cw for mentions of sex as selfharm, selfharm, alchohol consumption, REALLY unhealthy relationships, post-epilogue stuff, so on so forth. this fic was genuinely my fucking 9/11 dirkjake wise. like everything was different after reading that fic. literally everything. It probably made me insane.

and last but not least... shag, emotionally devastate - tony artreactor this is up there in the hs fanfiction bible for shit youve just GOT to read. it deals with post-canon in the most ripsnortingly funny way ever and is what made me genuinely love the idea of dirk and jake absolutely taking the mic out of each other both physically and verbally. it had me snickering and sending this to my friends like "OH MY GOD" and served as inspo for some of the facade and points i want to eventually make with LE jake when i get around to it. im so serious i cannot recommend it more.

New additions!

Its not enough to love the unreal - sloan twistedglossographer.

CW for attempted murder. Jake thinks dirks going to leave him and does something about it. Most BPD jake thoughts ever that latched in my brain like parasites

one of us was supposed to kill the other- sloan twistedGlossographer

CW For cannibalism and outright murder and gore.

Jake actually kills dirk and delivers a stunning brain process on how cannibalism links around to love and other shit dirkjake genuinely is like babies first spoonful of canmibalism love metaphor inspired by some posts i made. It really builds off of cannibalism as love its so awesome.

godspeed and happy readings.

[kacchanrawr]

mha final volume spoilers

For the past few months I've kinda just come to accept MHA's ending to be whatever. Not the best, but not the worst I've seen it's fine whatever. But seeing the final volume extra content honestly just has me genuinely hating the ending. I'm trying to keep an open mind cuz it's not officially out yet and leaks can be kinda dubious, but I'm genuinely so upset.

Ig the main feeling I have is: genuinely what's the point??? I mean there's a lot of things going on in mha and depending on what you care about ig you could feel like everything's fine and resolved, but personally? Just no. My main problem a few months ago was with Toga's death, but now I'm just even more pissed.

As so many people have probably already discussed: killing the villains off after all this stuff about saving them is a fucking problem right?? With Toga's case specifically (cuz she's my fave and I care the most about her), it's her just dying after she finally found the love and acceptance she's always wanted from Ochako. Like why? Even if you can technically make sense of it with her explanation of "I want to live life as I please", it's just stupid and distasteful. It would be one thing if she said that cuz she was just running away to be free, but to kill her? Of bloodloss of all things? Idc abt people going oh thats sooo poetic, no i think it's stupid. So many other characters have lived after going through worse like for fuck's sake, Edgeshot's still around.

What's the point of that emotional resolution if you don't show the aftermath, of her being able to live happily, or at least how she'll go on with life from then on? She didn't have to die, she could've just escaped or whatever (I was hoping that was the case when there was no mention of Toga's body). But by killing her, the only message I got from mha's whole saving the villains thing is: "sooo maybe having empathy for the deviances of society is important actually, but it's kinda inconvenient to deal with them." And even if that wasn't Hori's exact intention, that's what his story seems to be saying by killing off the villains.

And then the fucking nail in the coffin is the fact that Hori used Toga's death to drive Izuocha. It was one thing when he did it with the cliff talk when Ochako was mourning Toga (I always found it distasteful okay), but it's so much worse to write Toga literally pushing Ochako to Deku. So not only did Hori kill off the queer character who finally had her resolution and romance so he won't have to deal with her, but he's really following through with the Bury the Gays trope by using her o push the girl she loves to a man? Ew.

The worst part is that even if Izuocha got together and they're canon or whatever cuz of that last part, the way Hori did it is so fucking mid. Like seriously, if you were gonna do my girl dirty like that for that het romance, at least make it good?? But noooo. I mean they don't have to be like kissing and getting married and having babies or whatever (that'd just be shit), but at least have them properly get together. What is that "implied romance" ass handshake?? There's no fucking reason to make it implied, they're not queer or forbidden or complicated or anything. Bro just didn't wanna commit to actually fleshing out their romance. And you used Toga and her death for that, for absolutely fucking nothing?? The funniest part is that everything Togachako did is infinitely more romantic than that handshake, so how am I supposed to be convinced by this "implied romance"? (anyone who says implications enough for izuocha I'd say the bar's just on the floor for you cuz they're het)

And then there's Bakugo. I mean I was fine and whatever with the original epilogue, but what the fuck? So you're telling me bro lead Project Deku Hero Suit or whatever for 8 years, only for Deku to reject him when asked to be a part of his agency? It may or may not have been explicitly stated that they'd be in a hero agency together whatever, but I feel like it was a natural conclusion that they'd end up working together/closely as a hero duo? Win to save and save to win, wonder duo defeating ShigAFO together, that hospital talk about competing together for the rest of their lives, him being the one to reach out to Deku at the epilogue chapter, hello? DEKU REJECTED THAT AND FOR WHAT. Also ok fine this may sound stupid to be upset over, but why the fuck is Bakugo rank 15. Like we do just be writing whatever I guess

I'm still holding on to some hope that the leaks were ass and inaccurate. Or maybe even completely fake cuz the chapter's been getting a lot of AI art allegations? Though it's also probable that's just the leaker who used AI to get high res pictures of the leaks. IDK MAN JUST PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE COMPLETELY ACCURATE PLEASE LET ME STAND CORRECTED

[toorurii]

asking again becuz i love this dude… i would love to know more about basil (basile??) basil. ANY facts ANY info

HELP I actually saw ur first ask but I wanted to make his TH first before I went all in on answering 😭 I’m in the middle of revamping him rn but I can tell u some bits and pieces that are probably gonna stay w/ him!! Super happy that u like him bc I adore that guy and he’s one of my oldest OCs (since I was like 15 I think..)

- Name is pronounced buh-seal!

- he’s 6’9” (I know)(it was a joke and now I’m committing to the bit) and polar bear themed! So he’s very tanky and hits really hard if he’s pushed to doing that… his grip strength is nuts

-He’s a VERY powerful sorcerer, and actually classified as a mortal that has the ability to actually kill an angel or demon in my universe canon if he puts his mind to it

- A healer, but it stems from black magic, specifically in the necromancy ballpark. He doesn’t have heinous intentions though and only learned it to bring someone dear back to him (they didn’t come back right but we don’t gotta worry abt that). He does still have a very keen interest in the dark arts though even if it’s to just be extremely knowledgeable on the subject as opposed to actually practicing it

-… He’s only smart in the magic arts… in any other category he’s very air headed / in his own little world… he’s very sweet though if you can ignore his bluntness!!! (And ominous remarks about how brittle he thinks neck bones are)

- He’s at least 100 years old but no one in his universe knows for sure 🤔 it shows in his hair, though his eyebrows stayed his natural color despite it all! It’s his magic keeping him alive 🤷

-he has three ‘kids’…… Or really three homunculi he made because he was lonely. they’re all ice magic/ bear-themed too! Rosette is his eldest (they’re triplets..) if you know her! (I’ll tag her so u can see her on my blog, I think there’s like 2 pics of her tho so 😅)

-branching off of rosette she knows powerful magic bc of Bas! She also disowned him bc she thinks he’s weird so she’s like someone else’s kid now but once again we ain’t gotta worry abt that

-Final point is that Bas IS weird… He’s developed into the ‘freaky gentle giant’ kind of trope for me so he’s supposed to be a little scary and off putting.. he’s CRAZY charismatic though and has a very flowery/romantic way of speaking (one of his main character points is that he usually gets flustered after saying something super corny) 🫡 he’s also a hardcore people pleaser!

I nabbed some pics of him too! His designs gonna change a little but he’s still my beloved old man

[celaenaeiln]

lol hi its me 12 am anon so uh tldr is that i hung out with my friend and we got drunk and we made out or smth but more importantly they made w fuckin list of dick grayson things i started talking abt while drunk

- “bad idea right?” but its dick grayson and his exes

- bruce technically gave dick a family but dick’s the one who like truly made it feel like a family when it comes down to it he’ll fuck up bruce for his siblings

- that one “5 man band” trope and how he can fit as the leader and the heart

- into a specific (blank) to lovers? dick grayson’s got you covered

- the “barney from how i met your mother basketball hoop scene” and “eleanor from the good place mom she never had” but make it dick and bruce (teenage or adult idc i’d love both)

- nightwing could 100% be the figurehead of the dceu (like im talking spiderman level) if dc would do something [this was timed . i talked abt this for like 30 minutes all on its own]

i am . so embarrassed. also i dont know if we made out before or after the rant and i dont know which is more embarrassing .

what. what. "more importan-" NO! NO ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT IS NOT MORE IMPORTANTLY OH MY GOD!!!

MY MIND IS LITERALLY BREAKING RIGHT NOW!

WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT? Do you like her? Did she say anything?! I-

WAIT DOES THAT MEAN DICK GRAYSON LITERALLY GOT YOU TWO TOGETHER?!

NO WAIT!! SHE KISSED BACK. SHE KISSED BACK!

oh my god i'm reeling.

Have you guys talked about it yet?

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

I LITERALLY CAN'T THINK OF DICK GRAYSON RIGHT NOW AFTER THAT BOMB YOU DROPPED ON ME BUT FINE

"Bad idea right" was literally written for Dick Grayson!

Nightwing (1996) Issue #133

"Bad idea right?"

Actually every single Olivia Rodrigo's songs feels like Dick wrote it.

Like the sour album? Every time I listen to it I imagine that Dick just wrote the album because he was so mad at bruce after being fired from Robin lol.

"bruce technically gave dick a family but dick’s the one who like truly made it feel like a family when it comes down to it he’ll fuck up bruce for his siblings"

That's true too!

Batman (2011) Issue #11

"The truth is, I didn't save you from some dark fate, those years ago. You saved me from one."

Batman (2011) Issue #11

"And you still are saving me, every day."

Bruce gave Dick security but Dick gave Bruce a life. He gave Bruce the ability to become human, to be happy.

Take Gotham War for example,

Batman (2016) Issue #138

Bruce tells Jason he's saving Jason from himself and Jason in turn asks Bruce who's going to save Bruce from himself.

Cut immediately to -

Batman (2016) Issue #138

Dick.

Dick has always been there to pull Bruce out of his darkest days when he tries or is willing but Bruce giving up on Dick's ability to do so is symbolic of him giving up on himself. It's the height of Bruce's irredeemability.

Even after Jason died, Bruce indirectly called Dick to come join him but at this point his back up personality is too far gone for him to recover.

Batman: The Return

Dick literally is the reason Bruce stays connects to the batfamily. In a good way.

He has no reservations about keeping Bruce in check.

"that one “5 man band” trope and how he can fit as the leader and the heart"

5 man band trope: one leads, one contrasts, one thinks, one fights, and one keeps all of the above from killing one another

DAMN RIGHT

He's the leader.

Batman: Gotham Nights (2020) Issue #12

And the one that keeps them all together

Batman: Gotham Nights (2020) Issue #12

Dick is the defacto leader when Bruce is gone or lost it.

Batman (2016) Issue #137

Batman (2016) Issue #704

Batman (2016) Issue #704

"Selina doesn't run Gotham. You do. While I'm away."

And the family's protector.

Batman (2016) Issue #137

"into a specific (blank) to lovers? dick grayson’s got you covered"

Yup!

Canonical:

Childhood partner to lovers - Raya Vestri

Friends to lovers - Barbara Gordon

Enemies to lovers - Shawn Tsang

Psuedo-family to lovers - Helena Wayne (they actually married in Earth 2)

Crime fighting partner to lovers - Helena Bertenelli

Kiss at first sight to lovers - Koriand'r

Pseudo-therapist to lover - Bea Bennet

Landlord to lovers - Bridget Clancy

Teammates to lovers - Zatanna

X to lovers - literally him and everyone

He's just so shippable that way. Not gonna lie, literally all of his relationships Dick and his lover have been great together.

the “barney from how i met your mother basketball hoop scene” and “eleanor from the good place mom she never had” but make it dick and bruce (teenage or adult idc i’d love both)

The New Teen Titans Issue #50

Man this hits hard. I've never seen how I met your mother but the parallels in the basketball hoop scene and Dick's talk with Bruce are uncanny.

The thing I think is weird about Dick and Bruce's relationship is that it's steeped in insecurities for each other. Dick feels hurt and betrayed and lost as to why Bruce would take in a new robin so suddenly and Bruce's tenure as Dick's robin is riddled with insecurities about him not being a good enough partner.

Batman and Robin Eternal Issue #6

However it's because of these insecurities that I believe they are close.

The difference between Barney and his dad, from what I gather from the clip, is that his dad never acted like one to Barney.

But with Dick and Bruce? Bruce was a good dad to Dick. But he was a terrible partner. Bruce treated Dick like an equal while still fielding reservations about his age and dealing with his own insecurities. Bruce knows that what he's doing is not right but at the same time Dick is far too competent. His intelligence, his athletic skills, his compassion, and his fearlessness were light years beyond anyone Bruce had ever met and Bruce acklnowledges this.

Batman and Robin, The Boy Wonder Issue #2

"The GAS was supposed to knock his OUT. His brain out to be sailing past the MOON, right now. What's this brat MADE out of?"

Batman: The Widening Gyre Issue #1

Bruce's biggest problem with Dick is literally that he talks to much.

Dick is equal in every way to Batman and even exceeds him in some ways when he was Robin itself. So Bruce pushes the responsibilities of Batman's partner on to Dick while treating his as his son, mother, therapist, and partner. And Dick steps up to that. Soon they fall into a rhythm where Dick is Bruce's one for all human interaction. So imagine when you have a constant thing with someone that you're comfortable with and they suddenly start holding back from you. They begin talking about how you're too young to handle adult responsibilities. How you shouldn't be facing that burden. Now you're confused. Those responsibilities they are criticizing you for are the very ones that depended on you for. So now you start doubting yourself and trying harder and harder to make them see that you can handle the job. While you're struggling with confusion, they're struggling with guilt.

That is Bruce and Dick's relationship. Bruce grew a conscious after 10 years and Dick can't understand it. So there comes the self-blame and strife.

What Dick doesn't understand his Bruce feels guilty of his over reliance on Dick. Dick's self-blame has come to such a point that now even when Bruce in full honesty rants about how proud he is of Dick, Dick holds reservations because if Bruce was really proud then he would dump all the responsibilities on him right?

It's really messed up.

"nightwing could 100% be the figurehead of the dceu (like im talking spiderman level) if dc would do something [this was timed . i talked abt this for like 30 minutes all on its own]"

LOL

I think the Dawn of DC does have Dick be the figurehead or at least he will be in the future. We're just getting the beginning now.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #100

Nightwing (2016) Issue #100

Nightwing (2016) Issue #100

Nightwing (2016) Issue #100

"We want you to lead."

Justice League (2011) Issue #51

It comes full circle.

[yesimwriting]

how do you think the canon events of saltburn would’ve maybe played out a bit differently if lovie was there? do you think there’s a chance that it SOMEHOW could’ve prevented felix’s death and everything else from happening?? I’m just curious abt any thoughts you might have on this honestly

i've gotten versions of this question in my inbox before, and i even have some drabbles/general thoughts about this in my drafts

but bc i am writing/planning out a longer fic that will focus on the actual plot of saltburn more, questions like this are hard to answer without spoiling that,, but i feel like the way you worded this question makes it easier to give general thoughts on lovie's role in the plot

and bc most of lovie's influence on the plot comes from character dynamics, this is a bit of a character analysis on felix, oliver, and lovie and how they interact

this came out way longer than expected

lovie would be both a catalyst and an inhibitor to felix's death in oliver's eyes

felix and lovie are so close, so attached at the hip, oliver starts to view them as a single entity, a unit. this isn't an immediate thing, but the longer oliver's around them and the more desperate and delusional he becomes, the more their identities merge.

now, bc lovie's "value" comes from her proximity to felix, felix will always inherently be "more" to oliver. however, this intrinsic "more" quality that felix possesses is dangerous. it's part of the reason i think oliver kills felix. too much of a good thing--that's what felix is.

felix is so perfect, you let him consume your soul without even realizing it. even though lovie is great and a piece of felix, she's so much safer. because of this, her existence makes it easier for oliver to swallow the thought of turning on (and getting rid of) felix. because a more attainable, more manageable 'version' of him will still be around.

also oliver starts to want lovie more in certain ways because felix wants her. if he can get lovie (especially before felix), that makes him more like felix. it's part of the process of oliver shifting from wanting felix to wanting to be felix.

despite the fact that lovie makes the thought of letting go of felix more bearable, lovie's presence would also make it hard to get rid of felix.

logistically, they're rarely apart. it's hard to poison someone when there's always a witnesss. and, if oliver only wanted to kill one of them, poisoning wouldn't be as easy because lovie and felix share almost everything.

also, oliver is smart and selfish. he knows that killing one would devastate the other--they're a set. oliver doesn't want a depressed lovie, and he doesn't want a depressed felix. he knows that getting rid of one throws their entire dynamic and world out of balance. their grief and depression wouldn't be fleeting, it would be all consuming.

if lovie lost feix, or vice versa, they'd each be depressed in a way that takes all the fun out of it for oliver. if either of them is that heartbroken, it's harder to project any manic pixie dream girl fantasies onto them.

general notes on oliver's feelings for lovie and felix:

i think oliver would eventually grow fond of their group dynamic. not fond in a comfortable way, especially at first, because of how obsessive oliver's character is and because of how close lovie and felix are.

but with time, it's easier to feel secure in his place in their life. he starts to want them as a bonded pair. a big part of that definitely comes from his voyeuristic tendencies. it gets to the point where it's not always sexual. he likes watching them interact, watching them take care of each other because of the intimacy of it all. i could write a drabble focusing on oliver and voyeurism when it comes to lovie and felix to explain it more if anyone wants me to elaborate

also, because there's two of them and oliver manages to engrain himself into their dynamic (to a certain extent), his obsession becomes a little less overwhelming. don't get me wrong, he's still unhinged, but the ability to place all of that onto two people stabilizes him to an extent. there's a balance to it.

i think this 'balance' would make it more likely for felix and lovie to live, but i can also see oliver jumping to lock their relationship down by killing off everyone else in felix's family faster. especially if he felt like felix was starting to lose interest. the grief and solitude would make felix rely on oliver, and lovie would follow. it'd be just the three of them, just like oliver wanted.

a more canonical saltburn ending

as a final side note, i think even if everything worked out exactly the same, lovie is the most likely to live. if you think about it, oliver only killed off the cattons, which lovie isn’t. even though he views lovie as a part of felix, she'll always be the 'safer' version of him.

he'd keep her around as a sort of token, a reminder of that summer, the cattons, and most importantly felix. lovie's life and presence would become a memorial dedicated to felix in oliver's eyes.

however, oliver is impulsive and easily startled. if lovie found out that he killed felix (or anyone if we're going with the scenario that oliver decides to keep both felix and lovie and no one else), he'd probably get scared and impulsively kill lovie.

if lovie found out oliver lied, i think he'd try to manipulate her into keeping it a secret at first, but if she reacted the 'wrong' way he'd feel 'betrayed' enough to snap and kill her without thinking.

i can also see him trying to preemptively discredit her, maybe making felix think lovie has been using him, but i think he'd know it probably wouldn't work. lovie and felix are together constantly, in what moment would she have had the time to betray him 😭

[wof-reworked]

ok I can't stop thinking about the jade winglet, here's my gender hcs for all of them

Moonwatcher - she/they (nonbinary)

I feel like this is fun bc rn (in canon) her gender is just "anxiety" but like,,, one day in the future she gets to actually play around with it

like she captures a very specific type of person I've met who you go "oh I mean I know she's gay but she's probably cis..." and then you have like one real convo and find out they're like not only nonbinary but better at it then you

I think she should get to be butch when she's older. I think she deserves being a) massive compared to her two twink boyfriends and b) gnc as shit

Kinkajou- any/all (genderfluid +transfem)

Kinkajou strikes me as being like. totally ambivalent to gender. Kinkajou changes her pronouns based on how the fruit he ate for breakfast makes him feel. Kinkajou is better than you

I think she was like staunchly using she/her for a while bc it just felt right and like changes pronouns situationally- Rainwing village is she/her, Jade Academy is any/all, close friends it varies, etc etc

Qibli- he/they (transmasc)

Qibli's just always kind of known who he is, and has been like. pretty contentedly in his corner for a while. I think it's like- a pillar of stability for him of like "at least I know I'm (x)"

Proximity to Moonwatcher puts the they/them in there bc I think it's nice when ppl get more comfortable so they start branching out a lil bit :> Qibli has like. guy who says "he/they" because he doesn't mind they/them and wants his friends to feel supported y'know

Winter- he/him (cis + gnc)

Look I feel bad making him one of like. two cis ppl at JMA but like I think it's funny if he's cis but inflicts a status effect of gender envy on every trans person in his proximity

guy who does makeup flawlessly because "it's fun" and decimates your sense of identity as you wonder why the fuck god gave these gifts to a man

extra funny for the fact that as a dragonet he gets offended by the implication he's pretty. he gets over it eventually I think

Turtle- she/her or he/she/they (transwoman/trans)

See here. Otherwise I think she's like trans and this could go in like. any fucking direction ngl

transmasc turtle??? hell yeah !!! transfem turtle??? hell yeah !!! gender is whatever Turtle has going on and god knows if she knows it

last egg to crack bc Turtle is immune to self reflection that isn't anxiety and self loathing

"Haha everyone hates how other people refer to them and their gender what do you mean? :)" (entire jade winglet: cringing with worry)

Umber- he/him (cis)

cis and a lil insecure about it but like. he's just nice :)

he's like experimented with pronouns and gender and found none of them really stuck so like. cis+. cis (extended dlc). you know what I mean I hope

gonna be honest I'm lost for him bc I genuinely forget he was there bc he peaced out so fast. justice for my boy I want to know more !!!!!

I could be persuaded for transman Umber ngl,,, it tempts me,,,,,,

Peril- she/her (trans woman)

On one hand I'm torn bc I think it almost doesn't make sense for her backstory BUT ON THE OTHER HAND the idea of Scarlet being supportive of Peril's identity and LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE is hysterical to me

though actually if we wanna get sad,,,, that 100% could be a manipulation tactic of Scarlet. "see I love you I even accept you" etc etc. now I just feel bad man

Peril's also in the same camp of Qibli of knowing this abt herself since she could think and being happy in it. She knows what she's about

BONUS:

Carnelian- she/they/he (transmasc)

Look butch can be a gender and sometimes you're a mean butch skywing idk what to tell you

wish she stayed alive bc her and Moon could've been legendary together. girl who will kill for you vs girl who desperately wants you to do anything else please we talked about this you can't solve your problems with murder

I think Carnelian's true gender is Skywing Patriot and idk how to put that in hc form but this is as best I've got

[musicalmoritz]

any Tsukasa headcanons? I feel like everyone sees him as this demon monster who has no personality aside from murder :/

Tsukasa is an interesting character for me because he’s actually my favorite Yugi twin but I hate when ppl try to justify his actions…however some people go the opposite way and treat him like he’s a heartless villain with no depth so I end up defending him. Ppl get weirdly ableist abt it too it’s crazy. Tsukasa Yugi they could never make me hate you.

Now onto the headcanons

• I’m a firm believer that Tsukasa is adhd coded (I have adhd and I recognize my own kind)

• Specifically bcuz of the scene where child Amane said smth to Nene abt how Tsukasa would lose it if they didn’t play his favorite game at the festival, and due to the way he acts in movie theaters

• There’s room for debate over whether or not it can be called “coding” but you’ll never convince me that boy was intended to be neurotypical (autistic Tsukasa truthers are also valid)

• Since Sakura compares him to a cat I like to imagine he gets really clingy and cuddly with ppl for like 30 mins and then flips a switch and tries to bite them like cats do

• From “somebody hug me rn” to “touch me and I’ll kill you” within the span of a few minutes

• He takes a very “when I’m bored but then I remember I have a sibling” approach to bonding with Hanako. If the Broadcasting Crew and Mitsuba aren’t interesting him, he’ll pop over to Hanako’s bathroom and annoy him

• Not the kind of torment we see in the series though, he’ll just make annoying noises or keep asking Hanako to play games with him

• He likes animals but he’s terrible with them. Too aggressive, think of those poor fish

• I’m an aroace Tsukasa intellectual. I cannot see him caring abt romance beyond mild curiosity and his perverted behavior in the series seems to just be to mess with people/get reactions out of them as he’s known to enjoy doing (as opposed to Hanako’s pervert behavior which is pretty genuine, albeit comedic)

• His favorite subject in school was geography

• He doesn’t genuinely like many people besides Amane. He has a soft spot for Sakura and Natsuhiko though

• This is so far from canon but I think it’s funny to imagine that the entity inside of him is the TBHK equivalent of Venom. There’s still some debate over whether the current Tsukasa is entirely the entity or whether they share one being and I lean towards the later but I have this crack au/concept where the entity is like a little devil on his shoulder

• Sakura: What would you like to eat?

The Entity: The souls of the innocent👹

Tsukasa: A bagel

The Entity: Nooooooooo👹

Tsukasa: Two bagels

• Again, definitely not how it works in canon but it makes me giggle

• He really likes pumpkins and pumpkin flavored things

• FNAF kid

• He’s a massive extrovert in the sense that he gets his energy from being around other people, and he much prefers to be in a group than alone

• If he’s alone for too long he gets bored and agitated so he can usually be found in the presence of Sakura, Natsuhiko, Mitsuba, Amane, Mei, etc.

• Sometimes he’ll even hang out with Yako (I feel like they’d get along seeing as they both have rather sharp personalities, and I don’t think she’d judge him for his violent tendencies the way others do)

• When he was alive he had a lot of friends, pretty much the polar opposite of his brother

• He doesn’t feel guilty often but when he wants someone to forgive them, he’ll bring them a gift like a cat bringing someone a dead mouse

• Sometimes the gifts are morbid, sometimes they’re normal

• He was closer with his dad than his mom, because while both of them were creeped out by him his dad tried to assume the best

• He’s very creative and likes to invent things. In another life he’d kill it on Shark Tank

• Because of this he really enjoys cooking! He’s surprisingly good at it when he’s not just making the most appalling thing he can think of

• He enjoys soccer (in a human au I like to imagine him, Amane, Kou, and Yokoo would all be on the soccer team together)

• Supernaturals don’t need to sleep but Tsukasa is the only one who doesn’t bother sleeping at all. Most of the others enjoy having some time to rest but he likes to remain alert 24/7

• He likes to play red light/green light but he says red light crazy fast to scare ppl

• If you were ever on a long drive with him he would 100% start singing “One Hundred Bottles Of Milk On The Wall” and not stop until you reached your destination

That’s all I’ve got for now, thank you for the ask!! I love Tsukasa sm

[cloudysonder]

15! mafia! soukoku getting together before 5 years of tension challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

ok so I don't think I need another WIP on my plate but i can't stop thinking about them so I'm gonna write a hella long fic outline for a hypothetical fic I might've written in a different timeline

This is a half canon compliant half Chuuya leaves the mafia with Dazai AU, with a focus on their powers + how it affects them

Chuuya struggles with his identity and his agency bc of Arahabaki sharing his body, and combats it by trying to be as kind and giving as possible-- it's a way of proving to himself that these decisions are his, not Arahabaki's, because Arahabaki would never choose to be kind. As a result, he gives himself to others too easily, creating a tension of giving up agency/identity in order to prove that he has agency/identity

he does this with the sheep and then with the port mafia, where he eventually meets dazai

dead apple happens

Chuuya thinks the guy is actually the biggest asshole maybe in the universe, but begrudgingly accepts that his power is very useful and they make a good team (you would have to actually waterboard this out of him)

Dazai deems Chuuya his dog, and when Chuuya gets pissed and keeps pestering him abt how patronizing it is, Dazai responds lightly, as if he's saying that the sky is blue,

"Oh please. You were a dog long before I called you one--" Dazai doesn't even bother having the decency to look at Chuuya before ripping his life apart. "--eager to be on a leash and be taken on walks if it meant that it pissed off the wolf inside you. I just have the manners to actually call it a leash."

it isn't the first nor the last time that chuuya wants to kill him, but he can't deny Dazai's right (he usually is, infuriatingly)

He still hits him with a boulder

they build up trust over multiple months-- Dazai begins to believe in Chuuya's competence and skill (enough to relax on missions, because chuuya will take care of things, chuuya will catch the things I miss, and chuuya will catch me if I fall), and Chuuya will follow whatever order Dazai gives, no questions asked (He never steers chuuya wrong, never betrays him in a way that matters, never hurts him in a way that lasts-- usually people would've by now, but not Dazai-- he just annoys him and pranks him and thrashes him in video games, casually saying things about chuuya that are so on the nose that chuuya doesn't feel seen through, but seen)

chuuya goes on a mission that he's supposed to lead himself, and dazai tags along bc he's "on vacation" (healing from broken bones) and bored and knows that chuuya wouldn't let him get more hurt

there's a critical point in the mission where chuuya has to make a decision-- either to jump into the battle and hurt himself to save his subordinates, even if it means the mission wouldn't be completed successfully, or to let them die, guaranteeing success

He doesn't know what Arahabaki would choose, and he's terrified of choosing the same option it would-- he doesn't want to think that he's slowly turning into Arahabaki, that Chuuya one day will be no longer--

Dazai knows. Dazai always knows.

A warm hand envelops his.

The familiar shiver of No Longer Human blankets over him.

"It's your choice, Chuuya." Dazai is looking directly at him, serious for once. "No one else is here now."

And Chuuya, simple, stupid Chuuya, feels the tension he's known his whole life leave him completely-- and what was left?

Oh.

The sun catches on Dazai's brown hair, beautiful even dusted with concrete powder and dried blood--

Fuck.

His hand is warm, his body is still, so trusting, his eyes are unblinking, so knowing--

And Chuuya falls irreversibly in love.

There's no real hiding it from Dazai (nor is there really a "normal" way that Chuuya can act anymore, knowing that he had the capacity, the capability for love)-- Chuuya tries for a while, but Dazai keeps staring at him with calculating eyes, suspicious and uncomfortable with whatever Chuuya is hiding from him

He pesters Chuuya constantly, making infuriating guesses about crushes (fucking Mori??? Chuuya wanted to kill Dazai for even suggesting it) and Chuuya's had enough of trying to escape who he is (which his feelings are tied to, unfortunately)

So, slowly, he lets himself show the affection he wants to-- a brush of hands, a hold on Dazai that's a little too tight when they lean on each other, a patching up of wounds that's a little gentler, a dinner of crab soup and rice that he took hours to learn how to cook---

Dazai stops pestering Chuuya pretty quickly after that

(He also never pulls away when Chuuya presses in, never comments on it, acts as if he doesn't know and doesn't care, and Chuuya finds some twisted sort of relief in that)

He's also become fiercely protective of Dazai, working thrice as hard so that he never sustains a single injury bigger than a scratch

"Wow---, why's my dog so easily riled up recently?" (they both know why)

Dazai is his to protect, but his in no other way. Chuuya knows that. He turns away when he flirts with pretty girls and gives them his number, and still admonishes him with the same tone he always does when he fucks around with women instead of doing his job

Chuuya genuinely shrugs it off— he doesn't love Dazai for it to be returned— it's just a fact in his life— his hair is red, his eyes are blue, he loves Dazai. Fin. He doesn't need to be in a relationship with him, he doesn't need to own him, he just wants to keep Dazai safe, and make him happy where he can

Dazai, meanwhile, is actually having a conniption— He figured out that Chuuya had a crush on him pretty quickly, but he's the most lost he's ever been in his life

He's never been loved so gently before, so carefully, as if he's a unique existence and intrinsically worthy of love-- Chuuya doesn't use him, doesn't expect anything of him, just keeps giving giving giving giving

Fact: Dazai has always been useful. Fact: Dazai has always been desirable, but in a way that seems dangerous. Fact: Every person who's ever held desire for him seemed to want something in return, as payment for the chore of liking him.

He annoys Chuuya more than anyone he's ever met, and yet Chuuya never treats taking care of him as a chore. He looks into Chuuya's eyes, sees a strange sort of pride, of gratefulness for relying on him, of joy just from the act of indulging him--

He asks nothing of Dazai, nothing, content to hold his hand firmly while Dazai's remains limp, asking nothing nothing nothing, backing off the second Dazai starts to squirm (though, sometimes, Dazai was just adjusting his posture on the couch, he wasn't pulling away— but he'd rather die before he asked the dumb little garden gnome to put his head on his shoulder again)

Dazai has never been more confused in his life. He's only sure of three things: 1) that Chuuya’s affection is genuine, 2) that it is far too good for him, which is a shame because 3) he'll never be able to return it.

Months pass in this limbo state— Chuuya backs off the second Dazai shows Any sign of being uncomfortable (he isn’t, he never was, but he’s confused by the frustration that wells up inside whenever Chuuya mistakes one of his random movements as resistance, pulling away, leaving Dazai oddly lonel—)

They usually don’t get hurt on missions— in all visible aspects, they’re perfect partners; Dazai’s plans don’t fail, and Chuuya never disappoints

But Mori thinks they’ve been a little too full of themselves recently, that they might benefit from a little humility, so he sends them straight into a trap

Chuuya drinks water from a safehouse that Mori arranged to have drugged

His vision goes blurry, fast

He tugs at Dazai, who’s keeping guard, blinking rapidly

“What, slug? Have you forgotten how sleeping works—“

“Dazai,” he chokes out.

Dazai snaps into focus, scanning Chuuya immediately.

“What happened?” Dazai doesn’t understand why panic is rushing through his veins, watching his partner struggle for breath. “Chuuya, breathe—“

“Don’t,” he strangles out, the word barely a whisper. “Don’t drink the water, something’s—“ Chuuya’s body seizes.

“Chuuya!” Dazai grabs him by the shoulders, and he’s surprised by how terribly his own hands are shaking— he can’t lose him, he can’t lose him, not him, not him, he’s never felt this strongly about the possibility of loss before, but he can’t lose Chuuya, he Can’t lose Chuuya, not the warm hands that hold his own, not the soft hair that buries into his neck, not the way his body always seems to fall into his, utterly trusting, not him, please god, not him, not the boy who loves him— he knows he doesn’t love Chuuya back, but he can’t lose Chuuya—

He brings Chuuya to his chest, preparing to make him throw up—

A bullet tears through Dazai’s arm.

Another one, seconds later, through his leg.

Dazai hisses in pain, grabbing his gun from his pocket

He’s not the best sharpshooter in the mafia for nothing— he shoots into the distance and hears both bullets hit their marks— he’s listening for the sound of two bodies falling—

A third gunshot rings from behind, and Dazai isn’t going to be fast enough to dodge it in time, fuck, but he can shift so it hits some non critical part of his body—

Shaking arms shove him to the ground

Dazai thinks the sound of the bullet burying itself into Chuuya’s body is going to haunt him for the rest of his life.

Chuuya’s warm blood is soaking into his lap, and Dazai’s vision begins to turn red at the edges

He uses more bullets than necessary to kill the last sniper, shooting his hands first, then his legs, his arms, his shoulders— he doesn’t get the mercy of a quick death— he hopes he bleeds, just like Chuuya is now—

The helicopter would come to pick them up at the meeting point in a few hours— he just needed to last until then—

He treats Chuuya’s injuries the best he can, murmuring his name like a prayer, begging begging begging

He ignores his own pain— or, that’s not quite right— he doesn’t even register his own pain— his own wounds are nothing in the face of the possibility of Chuuya’s death, and adrenaline keeps his limp arms moving, his wobbly legs walking

The helicopter picks them up

On board, a doctor patches Chuuya up and assures Dazai the poison wasn’t lethal and that the shot didn’t hit any major organs

Upon hearing (his) Chuuya would be ok, all of Dazai’s muscles relax at once, and he passes out

Chuuya wakes up in the hospital first

Dazai is in a comatose state, recovering— he’d be fine, but it’s the worst he’s been injured since Chuuya was assigned to be his partner

Chuuya waits by his side, holding his hand, running his fingers through his hair, caressing his cheek with his hand

He heard from the doctors that Dazai insisted, hysterically, that the doctors treated Chuuya first, despite his own injuries worsening by the minute

“Fucking asshole,” Chuuya pinches Dazai’s cheek.

He doesn’t wake up

He wakes up a week later, blinking slowly into consciousness

Chuuya is sleeping beside him, resting his cheek in the palm of Dazai’s hand

His eye bags look horrendous, and his face is pale

He nudges him without meaning to

Chuuya wakes up immediately

“Dazai?” He rubs his eyes a few times, as if he was checking he was awake. A few blinks later, Chuuya’s entire face melts. “Fuck, Dazai.”

Dazai isn’t prepared for the armful of Chuuya that barrels into his chest, burying into his neck— oh, Chuuya is warm—

Chuuya begins pressing small kisses into his hair, into the skin between his ears and his neck, eventually moving to kissing him on the apples of his cheeks

Dazai’s heart is doing a weird flop in his chest— he sees Chuuya’s sapphire blue eyes shining with tears, feels his chapped lips against his face, and god, is it pathetic that this feels like the first time he’s ever really been alive?

“You scared the shit out of me—“ Chuuya’s voice is trembling. “Why the fuck would you make them treat me first— I was literally fine, you fucking dumbass bitch, and I heal fast, you know that, you’re the lanky brittle stick— you were in a fucking coma for like a week, do you even know how, how worried I was?”

Frozen as he is, Dazai stumbles out a “why?”

Chuuya glares at him.

“You know why.”

He does. He still doesn’t know why. But Chuuya is peppering kisses all over his face and murmuring reminders to himself about gauze changes and medicine and antibiotics, so Dazai just lets himself stop thinking for once—

He catches Chuuya glancing at his lips, and he waits for a kiss there, but it never comes.

“You missed a spot.”

Chuuya turns bright red (cute cute cute), and looks toward the wall, clearing his throat.

“You should save that kiss for someone you love, mackerel.” Chuuya sighs, the red beginning to leave his cheeks. His eyes lose a bit of light, and Dazai wants to shove his words back in his throat. “I wouldn’t— you’ve already, uh, let me do this much.” He rubs the back of his neck, uncomfortable, as he untangles himself from Dazai.

Dazai wants to throw something (when did he ask Chuuya to stop, why is Chuuya sitting back in the chair, why is Chuuya holding his own hands instead of his, come back come back come back).

But Dazai doesn’t say anything, and Chuuya starts milling around the hospital room, collecting his medication

Chuuya nurses him back to health

He doesn’t kiss Dazai again

More months pass

Chuuya still asks for nothing from Dazai, and Dazai is weirdly frustrated by it (Oda and Ango are tired of hearing about it— they insist that Dazai has, ew, Feelings for him, to which he responds, like a mature adult, “The only feelings I have for the amoeba are pity and disgust— he’s stupid, it’s all stupid! And I’m a genius, obviously, so this is all below me!” He mutters, under his breath, “Dumb Odasaku, stupid ango, thinking they know better than me”)

They’re at a high end mafia party

Chuuya looks absolutely dashing, as always

Dazai cleaned himself up just to watch Chuuya’s face turn red

Dazai’s fooling around with some girls, playing the games he always plays, and glances out of the corner of his eye

Dazai freezes.

A Port Mafia man is on his knees, his hand cradling Chuuya’s, his lips planted firmly on Chuuya’s knuckles

And Dazai feels like he’s boiling alive— he hasn’t even kissed Chuuya, and this, this GRUNT is DIRTYING his— Chuuya with his fucking disgusting mouth, and Chuuya’s skin is so soft and warm and smooth and Dazai should be the only one in the world who knows how it feels

Dazai storms up to him and snatches Chuuya’s hand away, replacing it with his own. He introduces himself, but his tone and his eyes are deadly.

They sit in a rare moment of silence on the way back

Chuuya looks weirdly happy

Dazai doesn’t want to wipe the look off his face, so he keeps his mouth shut for once, watching the moonlight catch in his partner’s red hair and blue eyes— he’s so beautiful, Dazai thinks, and he tries to burn the image of Chuuya’s smug smile into his retinas

Dazai follows Chuuya home

They fall back into their old childish teasing the second they collapse on the couch, wrestling and yelling between delirious laughter— that’s the thing about Chuuya, Dazai thinks, he makes Dazai feel like the kid he never got to be.

Chuuya wins a round, and Dazai wins a round, and though they hadn’t agreed on a bet or a reward, Dazai chirps, unable to stop himself, “Guess that means that I have to do something for you, and you have to do something for me! You know, to be fair!”

“Ok…” Chuuya is staring at him suspiciously, checking behind him for a hidden pillow or another similar weapon (which, rude! he would never cheat! Scout’s honor.)

Dazai’s eyes seem to be darting everywhere but Chuuya. “For Chuuya, hmm… I’ll stop flirting around with girls!”

Chuuya blinks at him, bewildered. “I don’t really mind— it’s not like—“

Dazai cuts him off (he doesn’t want to hear the end of the sentence, for some reason?), the next words rapidly stuttering from his mouth—“And in exchange, Chuuya’s not allowed to flirt with anyone, ok?”

A light seems to dawn in Chuuya’s eyes, and he bites his bottom lip, trying to keep down a laugh. “Ok, mackerel. Deal.”

“Good slug.”

Chuuya actually does laugh, this time. “Fuck off.”

Things are a little different, after that. Chuuya gets more confident— he invites Dazai over for movie nights where he falls asleep on his shoulder, he occasionally presses a chaste kiss atop Dazai’s bandages (as if he’s something worth loving, somehow), and they still wrestle and fight and prank each other, but it’s euphoric— it’s their communication, their reminder that the other is thinking of them.

Dazai is still the one on the receiving end of things, and he realizes Chuuya’s never gonna kiss him on the lips because of his stupid moral code that kisses should be loving and romantic from both sides, and well, Dazai doesn’t know about love or any of that other dumb stuff, but he wants to kiss Chuuya

Dazai stays over at Chuuya’s apartment more often than not, and one day, as Chuuya’s leaving for work (he always shows up a couple hours earlier than Dazai), Dazai gathers up the blankets and waddles over to him, still sleepy

“Chuuya?”

“Fuck off,” he replies out of habit more than anything else.

“Chuuyyuyuyaaaaa—“

“What?” He finally turns to Dazai, who seizes the opportunity to give him a kiss, licking Chuuya’s lips as he pulls away.

“Have a good day at work!” Dazai smiles against Chuuya’s lips.

Chuuya works through a couple of phases— shock, joy, all encompassing bigger than the universe giddiness, shock, hope, hope, hope

He watches Dazai waddle back to his bed and collapse in the middle of it, taking up both his side and Chuuya’s

Chuuya smiles all day

After Oda’s death, Chuuya is the first one to grab Dazai’s hand before he can drown.

Dazai has never doubted that Chuuya cared for him, that Chuuya loved him, and it’s so fucking affirming to be believed— to know that someone believes you’re human, through and through

So he hopes that Dazai would trust him to take the initiative here, to make a choice that would truly be a middle finger to Arahabaki, to let Dazai be the savior he already was to Chuuya

“Dazai,” He says, knowing what happened before Dazai says a word, seeing it in his grieving eyes, his miserable form (how dare people think he has no emotions, how dare them, how dare them). He grabs both of Dazai’s hands and pushes their foreheads together with enough force to be a headbutt. His smile is sharp, a little scared, but he’s sincere. “Let’s run away together.”

and they run away and never define their relationship completely, but they are partners, through and through

Chuuya wants agency and to be seen as human and to be trusted and believed, Dazai wants to trust someone to take care of him and to believe in someone’s care for him and sees Chuuya as utterly human

They complete each other, they trust each other unconditionally

Chuuya wakes up with a ring on his finger one day, and Dazai shrugs and says that it might make Chuuya’s side of the deal they made 4 years ago a little easier

Chuuya thinks this is very funny

Dazai wakes up the next morning with a matching ring on his finger

They never have a wedding— they don’t need to prove their partnership to anyone— and they can count the amount of times they’ve said “I love you” on one hand— that’s private, that’s theirs and no one else’s

They’re both part timers at the ADA (the ADA insisted; if they were both full timers, there’d be no work for anyone else to do— Chuuya plows through paperwork, and they’re still soukoku— they never fail a single mission)

In their free time, they play games, write some shitty novels and some not so shitty novels, they try painting, they both become polyglots, read all the books they can in all the languages they can read, and it is all so mundane and so, so human

they no longer have to prove it to anyone

They are home