#I’ve been nothing but short term fun at best

[chibelial]

.

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt

BREIF Logan Sargeant x Fem!Sainz!Reader, Lando Norris x Fem!Sainz!Reader, Carlos Sainz x Fem!Sainz!Reader

A/N: I’ve really been trying my best with keeping up with writing and posting within a timely manner but it hurts me that someone (not naming names) took my first ever post and copied and pasted it as their own, I mean I’m flattered that you love my writing so much you posted it to your own account but please, that was disrespectful. To everyone who has reported or shared that post and helped me by sending me kind words and how to prevent things like this from happening again, thank you so much! I don’t know yet whether or not Im going to be annoying and take ANOTHER short break but this is messing with me a little. Enjoy this story though, I’ve had it in my drafts for a week or two.

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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Y/N Sainz had always been close to her older brother, Carlos. Growing up in the shadow of his racing career had its perks, but it also meant she was constantly surrounded by his friends, including Lando Norris. From the moment they met, Y/N and Lando had an easy rapport, their banter light and effortless.

Lando quickly became a fixture in her life, always around for family dinners, race weekends, and impromptu hangouts. Their friendship was easy, natural, and uncomplicated—or so it seemed. For years, Y/N harbored a secret crush on Lando, carefully hidden behind the mask of friendship. She never acted on it, fearing it would ruin not only their friendship but also complicate things with Carlos.

Y/N had been dating Logan Sargeant for two years, a relationship that seemed perfect on the outside. Logan was charming and attentive, and they appeared to be the ideal couple. But behind closed doors, cracks began to form. Logan's attention waned, and Y/N found herself increasingly lonely and insecure.

The final blow came when she discovered Logan had been cheating on her. The betrayal shattered her, leaving her heartbroken and wary of trusting anyone again. Carlos was livid, ready to confront Logan, but Y/N begged him not to. She wanted to heal on her own terms, away from the drama and conflict.

Lando was there for her during those dark days, offering a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. He had always admired Y/N's strength and resilience, but seeing her so vulnerable only deepened his feelings for her. Yet, he kept his distance, knowing she needed time to recover.

It was during a summer vacation in Monaco when things began to change. Carlos had invited a few friends to join them at their family's villa, and Lando was, of course, among them. The days were filled with laughter, swimming, and late-night conversations under the stars.

One evening, after a particularly exhilarating race, the group decided to celebrate at a local club. The atmosphere was electric, and the drinks were flowing. Y/N found herself sitting next to Lando, their knees brushing as they talked.

"You were amazing today," Y/N said, her voice sincere. "I don't think I've ever seen you drive like that."

Lando smiled, a warm, genuine smile that made her heart flutter. "Thanks, Y/N. It means a lot coming from you."

Their eyes met, and for a moment, the world around them faded. There was a spark, an undeniable connection that neither of them could ignore. But just as quickly, Y/N looked away, the reality of her recent heartbreak crashing down on her. She couldn't risk opening herself up again, not after Logan.

Despite their unspoken feelings, Y/N and Lando tried to maintain the status quo. But the spark between them was impossible to ignore, and one evening, after everyone else had gone to bed, they found themselves alone in the villa's garden.

"Lando, we need to talk," Y/N said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I can't keep pretending that nothing's changed."

Lando nodded, his expression serious. "I know. I feel it too, Y/N. But what are we supposed to do? Carlos will kill me if he finds out."

Y/N sighed, her heart aching with the weight of their predicament. "I don't know. But I can't keep hiding how I feel."

Lando took a deep breath, reaching out to take her hand. "We'll figure it out. Together."

From that night on, they began a secret relationship, stolen moments and whispered confessions. It wasn't easy, especially for Y/N, who struggled with trust and vulnerability after Logan's betrayal. But Lando was patient, showing her that love didn't have to hurt, that it could be gentle and kind.

Keeping their relationship a secret was more challenging than either of them had anticipated. There were close calls, moments when they almost slipped up. Like the time Carlos nearly walked in on them kissing in Lando's hotel room. Or the time Y/N accidentally sent Lando a flirty text meant for her eyes only, which he opened in front of Carlos.

Each close call only heightened the tension, but it also made their bond stronger. They became experts at hiding their feelings in public, but when they were alone, the intensity of their love was palpable.

The constant secrecy began to take its toll on Y/N. She hated lying to Carlos, and the stress of keeping their relationship hidden was wearing her down. One evening, after a particularly close call, she and Lando found themselves arguing in hushed tones in his hotel room.

"I can't keep doing this, Lando," Y/N said, tears in her eyes. "It's tearing me apart."

Lando's heart ached at the sight of her tears. "I know, Y/N. I hate this too. But what choice do we have? If we tell Carlos, he'll never forgive us."

Y/N shook her head, her voice breaking. "I can't keep lying to him. He deserves to know the truth. And if he can't accept it, then at least we tried."

Lando took a deep breath, knowing she was right. "Okay. We'll tell him. Together."

The opportunity to come clean presented itself sooner than they expected. It was the night before a big race, and Carlos had invited Lando and Y/N to dinner. The atmosphere was tense, the weight of their secret hanging over them.

As they sat down to eat, Y/N took a deep breath, steeling herself for what was to come. "Carlos, there's something we need to tell you."

Carlos looked up, his brow furrowing in confusion. "What is it, Y/N?"

Y/N glanced at Lando, who nodded encouragingly. "Lando and I... we're together. We've been seeing each other for a while now."

The silence that followed was deafening. Carlos's expression hardened, his jaw clenching. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"No, it's not," Lando said, his voice steady. "We didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. And we love each other."

Carlos stood up, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. "You lied to me. Both of you. How could you do this?”

Y/N felt tears welling up in her eyes. "Carlos, please understand. We didn't want to hurt you."

Carlos shook his head, his eyes filled with betrayal. "I need some time to think."

The days that followed were painful and tense. Carlos avoided both Y/N and Lando, throwing himself into his work and the upcoming race. Y/N felt the weight of his disappointment and anger, but she knew they had done the right thing by being honest.

Lando was a constant source of support, holding her when she cried and reassuring her that they would get through this together. It wasn't easy, but their love was strong, and they were determined to weather the storm.

Lando knew that words alone wouldn't be enough to mend the rift between him and Carlos. He needed to show Carlos that his feelings for Y/N were genuine and deep. During the next race weekend, Lando approached Carlos with a plan.

"Carlos, I know you're still upset, and you have every right to be," Lando began, his voice sincere. "But I want to prove to you that my feelings for Y/N are real and that I'll do anything to make her happy. Let me help you with your race prep this weekend, and maybe you'll see that I'm serious about this."

Carlos studied Lando for a moment, then gave a curt nod. "Fine. Let's see if you're as serious as you say."

The weekend was grueling, with Lando juggling his own race preparations and assisting Carlos. But he threw himself into the work, showing not only his dedication to his own career but also his commitment to earning Carlos's trust.

After the race, which went spectacularly well for both Carlos and Lando, Carlos finally sat down with his sister. They were in her hotel room, the evening light casting long shadows on the walls.

"Y/N, I need to understand," Carlos said, his voice soft but intense. "Why Lando? After everything that happened with Logan, why take that risk again?"

Y/N took a deep breath, her eyes meeting Carlos's. "Because Lando showed me that love doesn't have to hurt, Carlos. He was there for me when Logan broke my heart. He was patient, kind, and he never pushed me. He loves me in a way that I never thought was possible."

Carlos's expression softened as he listened. "I just don't want you to get hurt again, Y/N. You're my little sister, and I want to protect you."

Y/N reached out and took Carlos's hand. "I know, and I love you for that. But Lando makes me happy. I need you to trust me, and to trust him."

Carlos sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Okay. I'll try. But if he ever hurts you, he's going to have to answer to me."

Y/N smiled, relief flooding through her. "Thank you, Carlos. That means the world to me."

With Carlos's reluctant blessing, Y/N and Lando were finally able to be open about their relationship. The burden of secrecy lifted, they found a new sense of freedom and joy. Their love grew stronger, and they faced the challenges of their relationship together, knowing they had Carlos's support.

In time, the tension between Carlos and Lando eased, and they found their way back to the friendship they had always cherished. Y/N was grateful for the understanding and forgiveness her brother had shown, and she knew that no matter what, they would always be a family.

Lando proved to be the perfect partner for Y/N, supporting her dreams and ambitions while pursuing his own. They became each other's rock, facing the ups and downs of life in the fast lane together.

One evening, as the sun set over the Monaco coastline, the Sainz family and Lando gathered for a dinner. It was a special occasion, one that marked not only the success of Carlos's season but also the strength and unity of their family.

During dinner, Carlos raised his glass, his eyes shining with pride and affection. "To family, and to the people who make us better. Y/N, Lando, I'm proud of you both. You've shown me that love can be strong, even when it's tested. Here's to the future."

Y/N and Lando exchanged a smile, their hearts full. They clinked glasses, surrounded by the warmth and love of their family.

As the seasons changed and the years passed, Y/N and Lando's relationship continued to flourish. They faced new challenges and adventures together, their bond growing stronger with each passing day. Carlos remained a constant presence in their lives, supporting them and cheering them on.

—

I have no clue what the hell this is but I hope you enjoyed?

Taglist:

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal l @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi @tellybearryyyy @a-panseuxalmess @love-simon @tallrock35 @iiaik0ii @Milkyymelanine @ilovsyou3000morgan @styl1shl1v @eddieharrington @hellowgoodbye

[baekguuuuu]

Better Than Revenge

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Smut, Angst

Word Count: 20.1k (im sorry i tried to make it short but it just happened ><)

Summary: All those years you are convinced that you only like the same gender. However, you decided to start anew after ending a long-term unhealthy relationship, not expecting to meet new people and him.

I should have seen it coming. 

For almost nine years, I let myself turn a blind eye to what was bound to happen. 

There’s nothing wrong with loving someone of the same sex.  

My parents had assured me that when I started dating this girl I met during my first year in university.  

I’m an only child.  

As a kid, I was my dad’s princess and my mom’s precious daughter.  

I grew up in a very loving family. My dad is a cardiologist, and my mom is an elementary music teacher. Both are nearing retirement but still doing their best in their career. 

My parents met when they were in middle school. You know, the cliché, my dad made fun of my mom to hide his little crush on her. When high school came, my dad finally gathered all his courage to ask my mom to be his girlfriend. 

My dad is a gentle, loving man. Since I was a kid, I’ve seen his effort to show love to my mom despite his busy schedule at the hospital. He’s never absent on anniversaries and birthdays; he never once missed holidays and family reunions.  

I remember my friends in middle school told me how their parents would always yell and fight with each other almost every night. They were surprised when I told them how my parents treated each other. 

“They’re probably just not showing it in front of you,” one of my so-called friends scoffed, rolling her eyes bitterly. 

I was a child and asked my mom when I got home that night. “Mom, do you and Dad ever fight?” 

My mom, she’s the sweetest person I’ve ever known. There’s a reason why she had been teaching for the longest time, and her students—those mischievous children, love her.  

She smiled gently, caressing the apple of my cheek with her thumb, “Of course, honey. But instead of screaming from the top of our lungs to each other, we would always choose to sit down and talk, remind each other why your dad asked to marry me and why I said yes. Sometimes, we would even recite our vows from our wedding day. I love your dad, and I will always choose to love him over anything. And, of course, we—your dad and I love you very much, my baby. You will always be our treasure.” 

I wanted that kind of love. 

I keep telling that to myself until the end of high school. The boys hated me so much for declining their invitation for a simple date or even saying no to a party that my parents even gave me permission to attend.  

In my mind, I was looking for someone who would treat me like how my dad treats my mom. But living in a different generation from my parents, the boys back in high school were all about sliding your panties down your legs, and after that, see ya! 

When I met Yunjin, I didn’t expect a romance would spark. It was a friendly encounter, then hanging out after lectures to study dates. Until the day Yunjin confessed that she was attracted to me and wanted to ask me for a date. 

I was a nervous wreck. I didn’t know what to do or what to say.  

But I agreed. And it made me happy. 

She made me happy. 

Until she didn’t. 

You see, after university, Yunjin convinced me to apply to a huge international corporation for which she had wanted to work forever. We submitted our CVs, and we were called for an interview. 

I didn’t want to go, honestly speaking. I originally wanted to work for a government institution, but I had no choice; otherwise, it would become another silent treatment I’m somewhat used to. 

I got accepted, but she didn’t. 

And it all started going down since then. 

I endured disrespect, dishonesty, and manipulation for the rest of our relationship because I love her as a partner and as a person. 

She had been talking shit behind my back to our mutual friends, saying that I’d been arrogant since getting accepted to her dream company. She had been making me feel like garbage every time we were together, would purposely ignore me whenever I was talking or would humiliate me in public instead of lecturing me in private. 

I was twenty-one when I started working in the company that began every downfall of our relationship. 

I’m already twenty-seven—turning twenty-eight, and it took me nearly seven years to realize that enough is enough. 

The last straw was when I found out that she had been unfaithful for quite some time.  

Her phone was left unattended, and it rang when a call came in. She hated it whenever I’d go near her personal belongings, especially her phone, so I didn’t pick it up. But as soon the device stopped ringing, another call would come in. 

I answered it, and it came to my knowledge that she had been seeing another woman from her workplace. 

When I confronted her about it, instead of apologizing, she almost made it seem like she had prepared a presentation of what I had done wrong and what I could’ve done better. 

“How come this became my fault?” my voice cracked as a salty stream of tears escaped my eyes. I was seated on the couch in the living room of our shared apartment while I watched her pack her belongings.  

Yunjin continues shoving her clothes into the duffle bag I got her last Christmas. She scoffs, zipping the bag and slinging the strap to her shoulders while her other hand grabs her old suitcase. “If you weren’t so conceited and would always shove into my face that you have a better career, salary, and status in life, I probably would have stayed with you. But no, you’ve done this, you’ve done that. Your family doesn’t even like me—” 

“Why do you always have to bring my family to every argument?” I get up from the couch and walk in her direction, thinking I would have understood her point better if I had stood close to her. 

Yunjin sighs my name, dropping the duffel bag from her shoulder. Her hands rub her face tiredly before facing me with an exhausted face. “We’re two individuals who came from different worlds, okay? You don’t even have a student loan because your father could pay for your tuition without sweat. While I had to work twelve hours a day to buy food still while I pay off my debt.” 

I shake my head, smiling bitterly. My bottom lip trembled, and I had to bite it to hide my vulnerability. My body is shaking from anger; at the same time, I want to bawl my eyes out, scream on the rooftop, and punch a mirror so the pain would be diverted to my fist instead of my aching heart. 

“Just go,” my energy is on its limit. I’m beyond exhausted, and I just want to be alone at this point. The thin thread that I’ve been holding on to for years has finally given up, and my palm is bleeding for holding on to it for so long. 

She left, and I cried the whole night. 

I cried for the years that I lost being with someone who didn’t see my worth and who didn’t appreciate who I am and what I achieved in life. 

I cried for days, weeks, months.  

Until I couldn’t anymore. 

When I decided to move back to my parents’ house, I had never seen them so delighted for the longest time.  

I do not understand Yunjin’s sentiments about my parents. They’ve been nothing but nice to her. They even offered to help her get a job when she didn’t get accepted to the company she wanted, and they even offered to help us with the deposit when we decided to get a place of our own. 

My mom had always wanted a grandchild; she does, but she has never spoken about it out loud. Too considerate that she might offend us. I heard about it from my aunt, who loves to gossip here and there. 

I also want it, especially with someone I see my future with. 

When I asked Yunjin if we should consider adopting a child of our own or opting for IVF, she laughed at my face, saying that I was ridiculous for even wanting a child. 

“You know you’ll lose your freedom with a kid on board, right?” 

I also quit my job as it reminds me how Yunjin would always say that I’m conceited because I got in, and if it weren’t for her recommendation to apply, I wouldn’t be where I am. When my high school friends heard the news, they all called me and comforted me. However, one suggested, “You need to get the things you’ve given her. Take it all back! We need to revenge what she did to you.” 

Another one even suggested, “Make a TikTok on how she cheated on you. We’ll make it viral, and she would lose everything.” 

Although thankful for their thoughtfulness, I decided to deactivate all my social media accounts and spend time healing.  

When the third month came, I searched the internet for a job, preferably with a much smaller group of people. And I’m glad I found a posting three days ago looking for a Mobile app Developer. I read the company’s background and was thrilled to see it was a startup company. 

“Why did you decide to leave your previous job?”  

Since it’s a startup company built just two years ago, HR warned me that the final interview would be with its founder.  

“He’s meticulous,” they said, more like a whisper, though the tone of their voice was more on the playful side. 

Kim Junmyeon. That’s his name written on the nameplate on his desk. 

My lips stretched into a polite smile, patting myself on the back for rehearsing in case I get asked this question. I want nothing but to be honest. “I’ve been there for seven years, and I can say that I contributed many ideas and showcased my skillset to the company. However, I had to take time off and focus on my well-being for personal reasons. But now that all is well, I’m confident I can return to work and optimistically deliver my potential to this company.” 

Kim Junmyeon looks at me momentarily before nodding his head, though his brows are still furrowed, as if he’s still unconvinced by my answer. “But why not apply for a much larger company than us? Their salary range would be way higher than ours. Don’t get me wrong, but your resumé is impressive, and not that I doubt my business, but why here?” 

I clear my throat, straightening my posture before rubbing my palm on my pencil skirt. “Do you mind if I’d be honest?” 

“Please,” his response is quick as if he’s been waiting for me to say those words. 

“It’s not about the compensation,” I start, sighing as I remember the stress I experienced from working in a larger corporation. “I’m looking for a place to work where I can be excited to get up from bed and drive to work. Not worry about being on top but just enjoying where I’d be while doing what I could. And I see potential in your company. Not only in economic growth but also in providing employees with a healthy environment while paying their dues.” 

The founder’s eyes are on me, unmoving a muscle as he stares at my face, studying my expression while I talk. When I receive no response from him, I continue, “Am I wrong?” 

My heart felt like it would jump out of my chest any minute, and I couldn’t be more thankful when his brows finally relaxed. He leaned on his chair, sighed, and finally smiled.  

“There’s only one way to find out, right?” 

Back in my previous job, we were supposed to always show up at the office in business attire; it didn’t matter what department you are from, everyone needs to follow the policy. 

I couldn’t be more surprised when I walked into the office, noticing that most of the employees are wearing jeans and sneakers; while I’m dressed in a dress shirt and tight skirt, I’m even wearing a pumps heel. 

Jessi, the team leader for the Marketing department, eyes me from head to toe with a judging look. We just met ten minutes ago when HR endorsed me to her team for the time being while they actively acquire other Developers to join the company. 

“Girl, who died?” 

Nayeon, one of Jessi’s team members, gasps, “Jessi, that’s not a nice thing to say!” 

Instead of feeling humiliated, like when Yunjin would say things like this, I laugh, shaking my head as I shrug my shoulders. “I didn’t get the memo that I can wear pajamas at work.” 

Jessi snorts, clapping her hands at my remark. “You can be nude, and one of the executives will be more than happy to welcome you.” 

Throughout the day, I did nothing but chat with Jessi and her team. They are all nice and welcoming, though a bit sarcastic. I learned a lot about the company and its policies, and I know that HR might have missed disclosing information when I signed the job offer. 

The company is on a first-name basis; it was not like we are not allowed to address upper management formally, but it was said that they prefer to be called by their first name.  

So, should I call the founder Junmyeon? Just Junmyeon? 

I shiver when Jessi tells me to be comfortable with the executives; they are nice people who care about their employees’ well-being. 

Back at my previous job, I remember stopping in the hallway and bowing my head until it reached my stomach every time I’d pass by a boss. 

“Girl, just be comfortable,” Jessi pats my shoulder before throwing her laptop inside her bag and grabbing her keys when the clock hasn’t hit exactly five in the afternoon. It’s still 4:58. 

When she notices my baffled expression, she gives me a pitiful look, caressing my face with her thumb, and it didn’t fail to make my heart thump inside my chest. “You’re so precious and fragile. Come to Mama when someone here makes you cry, alright?” 

Jessi walks out of the operational floor laughing when she realizes how hard I am blushing just hearing her words. 

Nayeon, who sits across my workstation, shakes her head and starts packing her things. Her smile shines bright when she turned to look at me. I suck in my breath while I wait for whatever she’s going to say. 

Gosh, why is everyone so freaking gorgeous here? 

“We have flexibility regarding our work schedule,” Nayeon explains, standing up from the ergonomic chair and waving the other team members goodbye. “As long as you’re done with your task for the day, you can go home or whatever. If you notice, we don’t need a badge to log in and out for the day. The company hired us because they trust us.” 

I’m the last one to leave my table. Everyone in Jessi’s team came to my cubicle to say goodbye and tell me to take care of myself on the way home. 

I’m in shock—in utter shock. Is this what they call a culture shock? It's a good thing, though. I even had to slap my cheek to see if I’m dreaming, but when the stinging pain on the right side of my face seemed real, my chest suddenly feels light, and my eyes brim with happy tears. 

When I wrap my things up, I glance at the place I’d be working, hopefully for a long time. I want to see myself contributing to this company and building relationships with the awesome people I’ve met so far. 

While waiting for the elevator, I look down at my outfit, take a mental note to clutter my office attire somewhere else and opt for more casual clothes once I get home.  

I can’t help but bounce on my feet in excitement once I get home and tell my parents how work was today. I feel like a kid whose parents are waiting at home for their child to tell them how school was for the day. 

When the elevator dings, I look up from the floor and am greeted by a young-looking male who looks like he’s been sleep-deprived for days. I bow my head and smile at him as I step inside the lift. My index finger lifts to press the basement parking but lets out a soft oh when it’s already lightened up. 

I gave the man a tight smile when I realized he’d watched my every movement. My eyes are locked on the small screen atop the elevator, watching the number of floors decrease by each second.  

“Are you a new hire?” a velvety voice rings through my ear, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up.  

With my eyes wide open, I shift my eyes away from the screen and turn my head to look at him with the gentlest smile I could ever give a person. “Yes, sir.” 

When he made a face from hearing me say, sir, I pursed my lips, closing my eyes for a second before uttering an apology. However, he just chuckled huskily while shaking his head.  

I heave a deep sigh, turning my head to look away from him and face upfront. I didn’t even notice that I was holding my breath for the rest of the elevator ride until I stepped out of the box.  

My hand fishes out my car keys from my bag and was about to turn on my heels to the left side of the parking space when the man from the elevator cleared his throat to catch my attention.  

“Welcome to the company,” he smiles, raising his left hand as if to greet me from afar, and walks away. 

The interaction was so quick that I didn’t even get a chance to say thanks or raise my hand as a greeting, but I did the latter on his back as I watched him unlock a sleek black vehicle with four rings aligned horizontally on the grille. Damn. 

It’s finally Friday. Don’t get me wrong. I’m having the time of my work life here, but I still need a break. I will spend the rest of the weekend at home in my pajamas and binge-watch a new series on Netflix.  

When the clock hits three in the afternoon, surprise is an understatement when everyone cheered from their seat and went to the Zen area of the office.  

Jessi, who seems to be my trainer when it comes to things I should know about here, closed my laptop without permission and asked me to stand up from my chair, and when I did, she hooked her arms with mine and dragged me to where everyone was hurrying to. 

I’m in awe when the Zen area is rearranged with tables, drinks, and food. Everyone converses happily while holding a glass of champagne, while the others have wine. 

“This, my child, is what we call a Happy Hour,” Jessi tightened her hold on my arms while her other hand slowly moved from left to right to educate me about their culture here, exaggeratedly—her words, not mine. 

We are listening to Jessi’s rant about her Tinder date last weekend when everyone notices Junmyeon walking in the area. I could feel Jessi’s eyes on me while she waited for me to bow my head off out of reflex, but I scrunched my nose at her when I didn’t. 

When Junmyeon walks over to our table to greet Jessi’s team, I notice someone walking behind him. It was the man from the elevator on my first day in here. 

He looks neater than when I saw him last time. His dress shirt is unbuttoned until he reaches his chest, showing his prominent collarbone and the skin of his chest. His hair has been brushed up, showcasing his clear forehead. 

“Ah, Baekhyun!” Jessi hollers, slapping the table with her palm as the two men reach our table. “You finally decided to take a shower, huh?” 

The man from the elevator, whom Jessi addressed as Baekhyun, laughs, snatching Jessi’s glass of wine to take a huge sip. “I finally paid the utility bill yesterday, so the water’s back.” Everyone from Jessi’s team laughs, even Junmyeon, who sat in front of me.  

“Oh, she’s the new hire!” I tense in my spot when Baekhyun sits on the empty chair beside me. Nayeon just walked out to the toilet, and he quickly moved to occupy her spot. Junmyeon rolls his eyes, shaking his head at Baekhyun’s unnecessary enthusiasm.  

Nonetheless, I plastered a kind smile, nodding to confirm his statement. “I am the new hire, yes.” 

Baekhyun raises his brow, and the corner of his lips quirks as he stares intently at my orbs. “No, sir?” 

I almost choked on my saliva, the event from high school when boys would blatantly flirt with me flashing right before my eyes. I laugh awkwardly, my foot under the table, blindly nudging Jessi’s shoes to ask for help. 

My attraction to the opposite sex is nearly nonexistent. I would feel awkward until I gathered the courage to let them know my preference. 

I heard Jessi sigh, and I turned my head to look at her like a clueless sheep. “Just ignore him.” 

“Hey, that’s not nice!” Baekhyun complains, his voice turning to a whine.  

“Baekhyun, can you not flirt with every female in this company, please?” Junmyeon interrupts, though the tone of his voice is gentle and kind. 

“Excuse me? I do not flirt with every female in this company. You guys are making me look like I’m a total perv.” 

“You are a perv, Baekhyun. Stop fooling yourself.” Jessi deadpans, and I saw how everyone subtly agreed. 

Baekhyun huffs, crossing his arms on his chest. “You guys, I thought we’re all friends here, yet here you are, ruining my moment.” 

I decided to ignore him, just like Jessi’s advice and turn my focus back to her disastrous Tinder date. However, every time Baekhyun tried to start a conversation, I would still respond politely, but with a lack of interest, to send a message that I did not want to associate myself with his thoughts. 

It has come to my knowledge that the company would have a Happy Hour every other Friday where drinks and food would be available from three in the afternoon until five.  

“We’re into work and life balance here,” Nayeon giggles, a bit tipsy, when I asked her why a company would serve an alcoholic beverage to its employee when they were supposed to work their asses off. 

Weeks have passed, and I’m getting used to the company’s culture. I started to enjoy getting out of bed and running a bit before preparing to get to work.  

My parents even noticed the improvement in my mental and physical health. I’ve literally stopped crying and would meet people on weekends instead of locking myself inside their homes. 

I also became much closer to Jessi and her team, especially Nayeon, who I found out is a few years younger than .e, and this is her first job, so I decided to stay rather than look for a larger opportunity. 

Junmyeon, the founder of the company, is a very hands-on man. He would have to walk to each department every other day to talk to the team and ask them for any concerns he should know about and any feedback an employee might have. 

I also found out that Baekhyun, that playful man when he’s not behind his laptop, is the executive director of the company. Built the company beside Junmyeon and is two years older than me. He’s single and loves to play computer games in his free time.  

How do I know all of these? 

Well, he’d magically appear at Jessi’s team meeting whenever he’d have a chance to inspect and get an insight into the Marketing team’s status. Those were his excuses when Jessi tried to kick him out. And since I’m not actually part of Marketing, I would idle at the corner of the meeting room, and he’d sit beside me as he rambles while doodling on his iPad. 

I feel sorry for judging him during my first Happy Hour experience. Baekhyun is a nice guy. A good person, a funny one. He’s comical—and yes, flirtatious, but when it comes to work, he takes every detail seriously.  

“Do you work out?” Baekhyun suddenly asks when I bump into him in the elevator when I’m done for the day.  

I shrug my shoulders, stretching my neck from side to side, totally spent from working the whole day. “I run every other morning, but I used to go to the gym when I was younger.” 

Baekhyun’s laughter booms inside the lift, and it is so loud that I swear the elevator shook a little. “You talk like you’re already in your sixties.” 

“Well, it feels like it.” 

I couldn’t stop the smile that was slowly spreading on my lips when Baekhyun was unable to stop laughing; he even slapped my shoulder and arm, though not forcefully. 

When we got out of the elevator, I realized that he was walking to where I parked my car. I looked at him to silently ask what he was doing, but when he fished out his car key from the pocket of his pants and pressed the unlock button, the vehicle beside mine lit up—indicating that it had been unlocked. 

I roll my eyes at him, shaking my head. I open the driver seat side, and before going in, I peek over my shoulder to give him a playful judging look. “Do you really need to park beside me?” 

Baekhyun shrugs, crossing his arms on his chest leaning the side of his body on his car. “What can I say? I’m a clingy guy.” He even ended his sentence with a wink while biting his bottom lip. 

Knowing how playful he can be, I pretend to stick my index finger down my throat to induce a vomit. 

His laugh echoed around the basement, and before he got inside his car, he called my name. “Do you want to know why I ask if you work out?” 

“Why?” 

“Because I’ve never seen an ass look that good when you wore that tight pencil skirt on your first day.” 

I gasped loudly, stomping my feet to hit him or even had a thought of pulling his hair out of his scalp, but before I could reach his spot, he immediately opened his car and locked the door, sticking his tongue out when I tried to open it, slamming my fist on his window. 

He drove off, leaving me all flustered in the empty basement parking. 

When Baekhyun realized that I do not get offended by his advances—many provocative advances, I must say, he started texting me on weekends, asking me about random stuff, or sometimes even asking me to meet up. 

Where the hell did you get my personal mobile number? Sent | 9:48 PM 

Omg, did Jessi give it to you? Sent | 9:48 PM 

Ah, no. She’ll chuck you in the head before you even ask for it. Sent | 9:49 PM 

I can’t believe that I’m sitting on my bed, grabbing the remote control to pause Netflix just to respond to this guy. 

Haha! Received | 9:51 PM 

I may or may not have sneaked into your resumé. Received | 9:51 PM 

You look hot in your photo in there. Received | 9:52 PM 

I couldn’t help but scoff at his last text message, though a smile was forming in my mouth. My fingers are quick to type a reply. 

Sometimes, I get scared of what goes on in your mind. Sent | 9:58 PM 

Do you need anything, by the way? Sent | 9:59 PM 

Let me know before I go to sleep. Sent | 9:59 PM 

His reply came in an instant. It’s like he’d been waiting for me to ask, and he’s already typed his answer. 

You, baby. Received | 9:59 PM 

I left him on read, jumping from my bed to take a cold shower—too bothered by his response and by the way he addressed me. This is the first time he has called me differently than my name. 

The next morning, I was awoken by the birds chirping outside my window. I tap on my phone and see that it’s already 8:30 in the morning. I turned off the Do Not Disturb feature, and several messages appeared in the notification. 

I’m hurt that you left me on read. Received | 10:30 PM 

Are you still there? Received | 10:48 PM 

Are you that old to sleep this early? Received | 11:05 PM 

I’m going to call you grandma starting today. Received | 11:10 PM 

I think you really have gone to bed. Received | 11:25 PM 

Good night, baby. Dream of me. Received | 11:27 PM 

Oh, sorry. Received | 11:27 PM 

Good night, Grandma. Received | 11:28 PM 

I snicker upon reading his messages that I slept on. At the same time, my mom knocked on my door before peeking inside when I told her to come in.  

“I made pancakes, darling.” she smiled, knowing how much I love her pancakes and seeing me excitedly jump off my bed to run downstairs. 

Throughout the day, I helped with house chores since my dad had to go to work, and my mom needed to prepare a lesson plan for her homeroom class. I didn’t have a chance to check my phone for notifications as I deactivated my social media, and my friends haven’t contacted me since. I prefer not to work on weekends. Also, there was some advice from Jessi and Junmyeon to stay away from work-related things during the weekend. 

I had an early supper with my parents and had to take the two rescued dogs my mom adopted from the shelter to walk before I was done for the day. 

I groan when my back touches the fluffy duvet on my bed. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before unlocking my phone and was honestly surprised to see tons of messages from Baekhyun.  

“Oh, shit,” I cursed under my breath when I realized that I forgot to reply to his last message and left him on read again. Even though he annoys me on a day-to-day basis, he’s someone who doesn’t deserve to be disregarded when he’s done nothing wrong. 

I scrolled through his texts, and most of them were just whining and complaining about why I was not responding to him.  

Are you really that busy on Sunday? Received | 11:18 AM 

I’m starting to think that you really are a grandma who has nine children and forty grandchildren. Received | 3:10 PM 

His last message was sent twenty minutes ago. 

Can I call you? Received | 8:10 PM 

Without thinking further, I tap on the call icon and place my phone on my right ear as I wait for him to answer the call. 

Instead of the normal hello when someone answers a phone call, I received a gasp then, “Grandma knows how to make phone calls now!” 

I shake my head, laughing softly, before I sigh and plop my head on the pillow. “I was busy the whole day, sorry. What’s up?” 

“My dick.” he sniggers on the other line—he should be thankful that he did not just say that in front of me, else I’ll probably slap the shit out of him. 

I purposely yawn for him to hear, shuffling on my bed to lie on my side. “Your dick is like my patience—short.” 

I could hear the sheets from his line, and he was probably on his bed as well. “You did not!” 

“I just did,” I smirk even though he can’t see it, it’s still satisfying. 

“Do you want me to send you a picture to prove that he’s not small?” he challenges, and I’m surprised that he actually sounds offended. “Because I will.” 

“Baekhyun—” I hiss, sitting up on my bed and rubbing my temple, just thinking that he might really send a picture of his shaft. “Do not freaking send a picture of your penis to me, please. I’m going to screenshot your message; if you do, print it on an A4 paper, laminate it, and send it to Junmyeon. I swear, I will.” 

“Okay, that was a good threat.” Baekhyun laughs it off, and I’m glad that he just moved on from the topic so quickly. “Sorry, I was bored the whole day. I don’t have any schedule, and I honestly wanted to talk to you.” 

“Seriously, Baekhyun. Why don’t you just play your game or something? I thought you love gaming and stuff.” 

I stopped rubbing my eyes with my fingers when he didn’t respond to what I just said like he always does. He stays silent on the other line for approximately more than fifteen seconds, and I had to confirm if he’s still there. “Hello? Did the line get disconnected?” 

But when I heard him clear his throat and take a sharp breath, I knew that he had heard what I had just said. He’s probably just tired; that’s what I thought. 

“Y-yeah, I’m still here.” 

“Oh, alright. Well, you’re probably tired and—” 

“No, no! I’m not tired or sleepy. I’m just—” 

“Just?” I press on, getting bothered by how the Byun Baekhyun everyone knows at the company is stuttering and at a loss for words. 

“That’s the thing, baby.”  

Once again, I tense upon hearing the pet name he’s been addressing me by since last night.  

“I would normally ignore all calls and texts when I’m playing—even from my own mother, but I’ve been pausing the game the whole day to check if you texted me back or even read my texts.” 

It took me a few seconds before I comprehended the meaning behind his words. My eyes widened on their own, my saliva was caught in my throat, and I couldn’t find my voice to speak and respond to him. 

“Baekhyun, I—” 

“Please don’t say no—please don’t.” he cut me off, his voice loud as he spoke. “I’m trying to figure things out. I’m trying, okay? I really am. I—this is new to me. So, please... don’t say no for now.” 

I didn’t know what to say or how I would break into him if I swung for the same team. He sounds so sincere that I do not have the heart to crush his soul, especially not on a Sunday night.  

“O-okay...” was all I could say. 

I believe that made him satisfied as he’s back from his usual chirpy self and continued complaining about how I should handle my messages as they could be important. 

“What could be so important that I need to drop everything and answer my phone?” I snort, my hand reaching to my nightstand to turn off the light so the darkness can lull me to sleep. 

“Me, of course.” 

Jessi has warned me, not really warn, but informed me that Baekhyun is a huge flirt and I should just ignore him as he is known to woo every single new hire in the company. I heard stories from every department as well that Baekhyun was too friendly to them when they first joined the company. 

But this was before he started getting too close to me. I didn’t mind because he is kind and considerate despite the fact that he would annoy the shit out of me every single time he’d get a chance. I could see him as a friend. 

I thought that he’s just playing around, that the stories I’ve been hearing are a hundred percent true, and he would move on to the next new hire once he met her. 

But boy, did my heart flutter when Jessi has a new member added to her team as a Brand Associate, and I’m already expecting Baekhyun to make the same move he had done to me when he suddenly appeared at Jessi’s corner with an iced latte in his hand and placed it on my table without any funny business but a soft good morning and a pat on my head before walking away, not even glancing to the new hire. 

Ever since I switched workstations with the new hire, whose name is Miyeon, my gossip buddy, Jessi, has had to send me a message via MS Teams instead. Hence, it didn’t come as a surprise that a notification ding chimes from my laptop as soon as Baekhyun walks out of sight. 

Jessica Ho | 9:03 AM: What the actual fuck just happened? 

I just responded with a laughing GIF, not knowing how or what to reply to her message. Because I, myself, am astounded as fuck. 

A little over two months after I joined the company, I got accustomed to seeing Baekhyun in the elevator after work so we could go down to the basement parking together—it was like he knew what time I usually finished my tasks, so when the elevator arrived, and he was not there, I was utterly dumbfounded. 

Where are you? Sent | 5:01 PM 

Is everything okay? Sent | 5:12 PM 

I sit inside my car as I stare at the sleek black vehicle parked beside mine. I waited for another thirty minutes to see if he’d respond to my messages or would appear in his car, but neither happened. Therefore, I decided to just drive home. 

We’ve known each other not too long ago, but I can’t help but feel worried about his whereabouts when he would normally pop up like a mushroom literally anywhere.  

However, I don’t want to pry on it too much.  

Not that we are just friends, but Yunjin used to yell nasty things when I would ask where she was or what time she’d be home—I’m scared that Baekhyun might do the same. 

Would it be too annoying? Should I delete my messages before he can see them? 

I flip my bag upside down so the contents would scatter on my bed as I hastily look for my phone. I decided that it’s better to just delete the messages, just because. 

When I see the unread messages I ignored while I was driving, my heart starts to thump loudly in my chest. Did he find it annoying? Would he ask me to stop texting him without any reason? 

Shit, baby, I’m sorry! Received | 5:48 PM 

I was in an extended meeting. The stakeholders needed my input, so I couldn’t check my phone. Are you still in the office? Received | 5:49 PM 

You didn’t wait for me? ): Received | 6:00 PM 

I was biting my bottom lip when I read his texts, but laughter escaped my mouth when I viewed the image he sent. It’s a photo of his car parked in his usual spot and the empty space on the left side where my vehicle usually parks. He added a crying sticker to it to emphasize how surprised he was to see that I left without waiting for him. 

Please text or call me once you get home safely. Received | 6:02 PM 

I’ll let you know next time if I’m going to be late. I’m sorry. &lt;3 Received | 6:02 PM 

Why is he apologizing? Shouldn’t he be mad about how I disturb him during work hours? Baekhyun is a busy man, but he has an important role in Junmyeon’s company. 

Nonetheless, my fingers start to tap on the screen of my phone to respond. 

Yeah, I just arrived home. Sorry for asking. I was worried that something might have happened. Hope the meeting was a success. Sent | 6:31 PM 

Once I cleaned up the mess I made on the bed while I was frantic over a text that I sent, I strip my clothes to shower, but when I was about to enter the bathroom, my phone starts to ring, indicating a call. 

Baekhyun’s name flashes on the screen as he waits for his Facetime request to be answered. 

“Why’s the camera facing the ceiling?” Baekhyun laughs; his voice is husky yet gentle. His surroundings are a bit dim, his face being illuminated by the red accent light of his car while he drives. “Let me see your gorgeous face, baby.” 

Getting used to the endearment he always uses, I scoff while rolling my eyes even though he can’t see it. “Why are you calling me while you’re driving?” 

He shrugs, his face full of smug. “We didn’t see each other the whole day. You were busy, and I was busy. Payroll missed another deadline. My secretary fucked up a report. Junmyeon was demanding. Everyone was a bitch, basically.” 

I laugh, my eyes crinkling in the process as I listen to his rant. Since he was talking a bit faster than usual, his dialect unconsciously came out, and it was freaking adorable. 

“My hands are on the wheels, baby—don’t worry. Now, let me see your face, please—with a cherry on top?” 

“Baekhyun!” I shriek, thankful that I am home alone at the moment. “I’m about to take a shower, and I’m butt naked, alright?” 

He dramatically gasps, hands hurriedly rotating the steering wheel to the side of the road before pressing the hazard button, and the ticking sound resonates from his line. 

“Oh yeah?” His voice turned sultry as his eyes switched to a more intent gaze. “You really know how to de-stress me, huh?” 

Like a fish out of the water, my mouth opened and closed on its own as if I’m having a hard time breathing. “You—Baekhyun!” 

“Come on, baby. I won’t even look that much.” His tone was back to playful when he covered his eyes with his hand, and then, for a little while, he peeked through the spaces of his fingers.  

Knowing Baekhyun, he won’t stop and would bother me all night long—or probably until the next day, but I don’t want to be hussy. Thus, I finally tilted my phone to show my face and my bare shoulder—showcasing my collarbone to the front camera. “I really need to shower, Baekhyun. I’ll call you later, okay?” 

“I misheard it with: I’ll show you later,” he cackles, his eyes forming a crescent shape as he laughs, and his perfectly aligned teeth are shown. “Alright, baby. Call me when you’re done.” 

“Alright,” I assure with a purr while raising an eyebrow when an idea pops into my head. “And about showing you later—we’ll see about that.” 

I wish I was able to capture the moment Baekhyun’s eyes almost pop out from their socket, and his jaw dropped upon hearing my words, before I tap the end call button. I honestly didn’t expect that kind of reaction from him, and it’s kind of amusing.  

“So,” Jessi bumps her hips with mine while I wash my hands after using the toilet. She uncapped her lipstick and reapplied the makeup on her face. “How many times do you and Baekhyun do it in a week?” 

I swear that I heard my neck crack how fast I snap my head to look at Jessi with wide eyes. “You’re being ridiculous!” 

She scoffs, leaning the side of her hip on the sink as she turns to give me a judging look, arms crossed on her chest. “We’re both adults, and there’s nothing wrong with discussing your sex life with a friend.” 

I choke on my own saliva, “My—my sex life?”  

To be honest, I haven’t been touched since my last relationship. Of course, it crossed my mind here and then, especially when Baekhyun started putting his hand on my thigh every time we sat beside each other, or the way his hand would automatically wrap on my shoulders—sometimes my waist, a bit too intimately; he has also started kissing my cheek—though it’d be just a quick and light one, it wouldn’t fail to leave me blushing for the rest of the day.  

But as much as possible, I don’t want to put much thought into it since he’s that playful. 

“Wait—so, and you’re saying that—” Jessi stops mid-sentence like she’s solving a fraction in her head, her brows furrowed. “You guys haven’t had sex yet?” 

“No!” I quickly defended, my hands flicking some drops of water to her face, making her hiss. “We’re not like that.” 

“We’re not like that,” Jessi mimics with a high-pitched tone of her voice, rolling her eyes before zipping up her make-up bag. “Honey, Baekhyun would always look at you like he’s going to eat your vagina.” 

“Can you not?” I gasp, turning on my heels to get out of the washroom to hide my flushed face. I swear I feel how warmth crept through my body.  

Jessi followed my suit, laughing as she closed the door behind her. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you? Update me when it finally happens!” 

That incident made me reject Baekhyun’s phone calls when the clock hit five. I left the office quite early to avoid any interaction for now—hopefully. It’s not only that I got bothered sexually, but the fact that I haven’t told anyone, even Baekhyun, that I have not been together with a guy before—and the fact that I’ve only been attracted to a woman... up until Baekhyun. 

Yes, I am not denying that over the time we spent together, I got attached to him. Like, if we don’t see each other during the day because of our workload, both of us would make an effort, be it via Facetime, a quick drive late at night, or sometimes I would drive near his place, or he would drive near mine so we could meet for a meal or drink. 

Baekhyun is a sweet guy. He’s considerate, though a pervert. He notices small things and makes it matter how I like my coffee in the morning, how I don’t like pickles in my burger, or how I’m fond of adorable cheap stuff that he once gave me a three-dollar pastel keychain because it reminds him of me, on how I love my mom’s dogs that he bought them few toys to chew on, or even creating a playlist on Spotify and sending it to me. 

The list goes on... 

And one thing I’ve noticed since he started sticking around. He has never, ever flirted with another girl, at least not in front of me, or not in my knowledge. 

I remember one happy hour in the office when Miyeon tried to start a conversation with Baekhyun. He was civil and got engaged with the topic; however, when he noticed that she started to get tipsy and touchy with him, he got up after giving some lame excuse before looking for me, who was busy at my desk and unable to join the event.  

That story came from Nayeon. She was surprised, to say the least. “You got him all whipped,” she said, giggling like a teenager. 

I didn’t even know the reason at first when Baekhyun appeared in Jessi’s corner, wheeling a chair with him and sitting beside me, watching me work for two hours straight before giving up and calling it a day. 

“Don’t you have any important things to do?” I snort, packing my things up and slinging my bag on my shoulder, but I was snatched right away by Baekhyun, who carried it instead. 

“You’re important to me, baby, or you haven’t gotten the memo yet?” 

That conversation stayed in my mind until now. And I don’t think it’d flow out of my head for a while. 

I know what we have been doing is far beyond what casual friends would do. And I didn’t stop him the first time. Why didn’t I? If I don’t like him, I should’ve told him that, hey, I’ve been attracted to women—only women. Or so I thought. 

At the same time, I’m scared. 

My last relationship didn’t end well. I was treated like garbage for years. I was humiliated and stepped on everything I did. My ex made me feel like I didn’t deserve whatever I accomplished after university—that everything I have is because of her. 

And although I tried so hard to connect my ex with my parents, it just didn’t work.  

“We’re adults now, and we don’t need to be with our parents.” That’s what she reminded me of every time I’d ask to see my parents and be with them on holidays or even on their birthdays. “Just send them a text.” she’d add. 

My dad and my mom didn’t say anything. They were supported and would say that they didn’t want to be a cause of argument between us.  

But I know. 

I know they wanted me to be there; they wanted me to come home and eat dinner with them and laugh and chat in the living room while a variety show plays in the background. 

But Baekhyun won’t do that, right? 

If I finally take a step forward, he’s not going to change, right? 

Because it would hurt like hell because I trust him. 

For the short amount of time I’ve spent with him, he made me feel like no one else—not even my ex when we started dating back in university. 

Are you okay? Is everything okay? Received | 9:03 PM 

Did I do something wrong? Received | 9:04 PM 

I snapped out of my thoughts when my phone dings as messages came in. It’s Baekhyun. I glanced at the screen of my phone. It stopped ringing an hour ago due to countless phone calls he was making. 

I don’t know if I did something you’re mad about, but please let me know if I took something too far. I will apologize and make it up to you. Received | 9:08 PM 

But please don’t ignore me. Received | 9:09 PM 

I kept staring at my phone as I read his messages and waited for another one to come in. 

You’re reading my texts, but you’re not answering my calls, baby. I’m honestly getting worried. Received | 9:11 PM 

I’m sorry if I made you angry, but can you at least tell me if you’re okay? I’m going crazy over here. Received | 9:25 PM 

Reading his last text, I finally decided to move my fingers to reply. He has done nothing wrong, and I’m the one who has an issue. Hence, it’s not fair for him to endure whatever I’m doing. 

I’m fine. Just not feeling a hundred percent. I’m sorry for not responding. Sent | 9:32 PM 

Don't worry, I’m not mad. :) Sent | 9:33 PM 

I throw my phone to the side, and my hand extends to the lamp on my nightstand. I shift my position to my side, pulling the duvet up to my shoulders as I close my eyes to sleep for the night. 

I had enough thoughts running in my head, and sleeping this early on a Friday night might be a good idea for my mental health. 

I think I slept for like thirty minutes until my phone started to vibrate under my pillow, waking me up. I blindly reach for my eyeglasses on my side and wear them before answering the call.  

Baekhyun. 

I sit up on the bed, eyes wide, as I tap the green button to accept the call. “Hello?” I croaked, rubbing my throat. It felt really dry upon speaking. 

“Oh, crap! You were asleep?” 

I grunt in response, running my fingers through my hair before getting up from the bed to turn on the lights in my bedroom. 

“Oh, I think I got the correct house.” 

“H-huh?” I’m half-asleep and unable to comprehend his sentence clearly. 

“Did you just turn on the lights, baby?” 

As if I didn’t know, I look at the ceiling light to see if it’s really turned on, and almost face-palm myself when I remember that I flicked the switch literally ten seconds ago. “Yeah, I did. Why?” 

“Ugh, I thought Junmyeon would lie about this.” he exhales, and I heard him getting out of his car. “Can you come out for a bit, baby? I’m outside your house.” 

Without ending the call, my phone still pressed on my right ear; I hastily run downstairs, almost tripping on the way down, earning worried looks from my parents, who are still in the formal living space, chatting. 

“Oh, God, honey!” My mom stands on her feet, her hands on her chest when I reach the floor. “Careful, please!” 

My dad stands up as well, walking in my direction to check if I had any injury when I didn’t fall. “Let’s end this night without any injuries, alright, sweetheart?” 

I nod my head hurriedly, plastering an innocent grin on my face, pressing the end call button on my phone. “Sorry, sorry. I just—someone’s outside, so... I’ll be heading out quickly.” 

My dad nods his head with a fatherly smile, telling me to be careful, and I think he’s just happy that I started going out again. At the same time, my mom looks like she’s going to peek out the window to see who I’m meeting at this hour. 

“Uh... dad? Can you please control mom?” 

My dad turns his head to my mom, who immediately smiles innocently. It's like she’s not about to ask me thousands of questions about who I’m going to meet in my sleepwear. 

He shakes his head, though fondly. “Just go, sweetheart. I’ll handle your mom. Tell her we said hi.” 

I nod, grinning widely. “Of course. I’ll let him know.” 

My dad blinks several times before gasping loudly, and like a signal light, my mom squeals, jumping on her feet happily.  

I laugh at their reaction before opening the front door. “I’ll be back later!” 

Baekhyun’s face lit up upon seeing me getting out of the door. He starts to walk to meet me halfway and engulfs me in a hug. His hand is on the back of my head, while his other hand is placed on the small of my back. “I was so worried.” 

I rubbed his back for a while before I reciprocated the hug by hugging his waist closer to me. “I’m sorry.” 

He pulls away, placing a hand on my forehead and then my neck. “You don’t have a fever...” 

I chuckle, slapping his chest lightly. “No, I’m not sick. I’m just tired and have a lot going on in my head for days now.” 

His eyes lock with mine, as if trying to read what has been going on in my mind. “I’m here if you need me.” 

Before I could even respond, I heard rustling inside the house. I peek over my shoulder and see how my mom and my dad hid behind the curtains by the window. Baekhyun follows where I’m looking and tilts his head in confusion when he sees nothing. 

“My parents are watching us,” I shake my head as I try to pull Baekhyun towards his car. “Do you want to get out of here?” 

“Huh—” he turns around to face my parents’ house again, and his eyes scan the façade to look for them. “What—where? I can’t see anyone.” 

I sigh, shaking my head as I cover half of my face with my hands, embarrassed with the thought of my parents’ idly tattle, at the same time ecstatic that they didn’t view my last relationship as something to be wary about.  

“Just raise your hand and wave a little. They’ll see you.” 

With furrow brows, Baekhyun hesitantly raises his left hand and moves it a bit. Not even five seconds later, the window in the formal living space is opened, my mom’s face peeking out. “Hope to meet you soon! Come over for a meal sometime!” 

“Mom!” To say that I’m horrified is an understatement. Everyone knows my mom as a gentle, kind, prim and proper woman, but no one knows, except my dad, how she can be when she gets eager and exhilarated. 

Baekhyun gasps loudly, straightening the coat he’s wearing before bowing politely to my mom and my dad, who is trying to pull Mom away from the window. He waves goodbye before closing the window and drawing the curtains as well. 

“Okay,” I chuckle, shaking my head at my parents’ action, though a fond smile is on my lips. “That was my mom and my dad. I—uhm, you can come over, you know—if you want.” 

“I’d love to,” Baekhyun answers immediately as if he’s been waiting for me to invite him myself. 

Despite hanging out together for months, it’s my first time to be Baekhyun’s passenger in his car. We both laughed about it when he said, “I even thought about slashing your tires so I can drive you home.” 

Since I currently live in my parents' house and I haven’t introduced Baekhyun formally to them, I can’t invite him in an instant. When I explained this to Baekhyun, he didn’t even hesitate to suggest driving us back to his place. 

“No funny business, I swear,” he removes one of his hands from the steering wheel to draw a cross on his chest with his finger. “You’re already in your sleepwear, so I can’t think of a place to go to unless you have somewhere in mind?” 

“That’s fine. As long as I get home in one piece.” I shrug, holding onto the plastic bags on my lap.  

Being a thoughtful Baekhyun, he purchased a bunch of different snacks I’ve been eating since we got close to each other. The chips I keep munching on when work gets too loaded, down to the chocolate bars I keep in my drawer at the office. There’s even a fever patch and a paracetamol in a small paper bag on the side. 

Baekhyun’s place is tidy. I didn’t expect it to be this neat in the first place, as much as how rude it sounds. And at the thought that he didn’t expect to have a visitor, I feel ashamed of the clutter in the corner of my childhood bedroom at my parents’ house. 

I’m also surprised that he even crouches on the floor to help me wear an indoor slipper that is suspiciously in pastel color.  

“I hope I got the size right,” he mumbles under his breath as he observes the footwear.  

“Yeah, it’s perfect.” They’re a couple of centimeters larger than my usual, but it’s much more comfortable this way. “Thank you.” 

He chuckles huskily as he stands up, flicking the tip of my nose with his index finger, a thing he has been doing for quite some time now.  

I follow him to the kitchen, where he places the plastic bags on the kitchen counter. My eyes scan the place further, and I can’t help but be in awe of how he keeps it neat when he’s busy with work. 

“My mom comes over from time to time,” Baekhyun suddenly speaks, snapping me out of my trance as if he’s reading what’s going on in my mind. “But I do like keeping my place clean and organized, else I wouldn’t be unable to function.” 

I scrunch up my nose at him, “Well, thank you for making me feel bad about the pile of laundry in my room.” 

He laughs out loud, eyes crinkling and forming into a crescent shape as he does. “I can help you with that, baby. Just hit me up.” 

I roll my eyes at him with a playful smile on my face. I sat at the barstool, and he followed suit. “But seriously, I didn’t expect you to behave. No offense, but I thought you’re going to slam me on the wall and do the deed as soon as we arrived.” 

Baekhyun gave me a baffled expression before placing both of his hands on his chest as if he were hurt by what he had just heard. “I didn’t know you think so low of me.” 

I cackle, hitting his shoulder with my fist lightly. “I’m just kidding, you idiot.” 

He chortles before placing his hand on the side of my neck. “Baby, I’m not going to slam you on the wall if we’re going to do it. I’m going to lay you on my soft, comfortable bed before kissing the hell out of you.” 

“Oh,” was all I could mutter before chucking awkwardly, scratching my cheek before looking everywhere else but his intent gaze. 

I thought I’m ready for this kind of conversation with him. However, my hands suddenly feel clammy, and my heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest any second. 

Without removing his hand from my neck, he steps closer to where I’m seated. He stands in the space between my legs as his other hand holds my cheek to make me look at him.  

“You’re nervous,” he remarks, his face void of any expression. 

I am unable to find my voice; I can only grunt as a response.  

Baekhyun caresses my cheek with his thumb, his gentle eyes assuring me while his mouth forms a smile. “We’re not going to do anything if you’re not comfortable with it.” 

I nodded my head, though I held onto his wrist when he was about to pull away. “Baekhyun, I—” I close my eyes for a few seconds before opening them. Seeing Baekhyun’s worried look made me exhale shakily. 

“I’m going to tell you something I haven’t told anyone at the office yet,” I wince when I realize how my voice sounded so small and terrified, like I’m going to confess that I stole candy from the candy jar in kindergarten. “And I’m going to ask you something, and I’d like you to be honest, okay?” 

Baekhyun, all of a sudden, drop a kiss on my forehead, which he hadn’t done before. My body feels warm as a blush crept up on my face. “Okay, baby.” 

“I’ve never been with a guy before,” I confess before pressing my lips together in the hope that he’ll take the news well. 

He raises his brows as he tilts his head to the side, “You never have a boyfriend before? Was it you, or was I just dreaming when you told me that you just came out of an unhealthy relationship? Did I drink a lot to not remember?” 

I look at him as he rambles, and when he ends his sentences, he looks at me like he’s expecting me to laugh or confirm his assumption that he’s just dreaming, but I keep my eyes on him without any emotion but silently pleading him to get to my point. 

It takes him almost a minute before he widens his eyes in realization and gawks. “Wait—you—you’re—” 

The corner of my lip turns down when he removes his hold like I’m a burning hot iron. With a sad smile, I nod my head. “I’m sorry for not telling you, and it just didn’t cross my mind that we would actually be taking things too far.” 

Baekhyun stands still, his mouth still agape as he stares at me with wide eyes. Reading the room, I nod my head, patting his arm before jumping off the barstool. “I’ll see myself out.” 

As soon as my feet land on the floor, I’m carried back to the barstool with a loud thump. Surprised, I look at him with my eyes wide open.  

“Where the hell are you going?” he growled, hands gripping my sides as if he’s trying to prevent me from running away. 

“I—” I flinch from the tone of his voice as for months I’ve known Baekhyun, he has never raised nor shown his anger or even annoyance in front of me. 

I think he notices how my orbs shake when I cower in some fear and anxiousness. His brows are furrowed, and he is suddenly relaxed, and his grip goes from rough to gentle. 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he breathes out. He looks surprised by his action as well, more than by my reaction. “I’m sorry, I was just surprised. But where do you think you’re going?” 

Letting out a deep, trembling breath, I bite my bottom lip as I lock my eyes with him. His kind and considerate demeanor finally comes back. 

“I just thought that you didn’t want to do anything to me upon hearing my confession,” my voice is small, and my fingers start to fidget the seam of the sweatpants I’m wearing—a habit that I have when I’m nervous and frighted.  

“Baby, I—” Baekhyun sighed, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead on mine. I could feel his breath fanning my face, and I couldn’t help but close my eyes while I waited for his next words. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I didn’t know. I just—I genuinely like you. It doesn’t matter to me who you have been with, but I like you. And I want to be with you... if that’s okay.” 

I peek through my lashes to see that he’s still not opening his eyes. I raise my right hand and place it on his cheek. A smile automatically spreads on my lips when he leans on my palm. 

It’s not the first time Baekhyun has said that he likes me or is interested in me. But the first time, he said it without any playful remarks like he has done before. 

“Baekhyun, can I now ask you something? Can you be honest?” I murmur, caressing the skin of his cheek with the pad of my thumb. 

Baekhyun only grunted in response. 

“Why me?” 

This time, he slowly opened his eyes, though not looking up to meet my eyes. He’s silent for quite some time while he thinks about my question, and I’m grateful that he seems to be taking my two-word question seriously. 

“You make me laugh,” Baekhyun finally answers. His voice comes out as a whisper, and he exhales through his nose before finally meeting my eyes. “And I love to laugh.” 

I snort, shaking my head before leaning away from his forehead. I scrunch my nose at him when I see how he stares at me with a fond smile on his face.  

“Did it bother you, though?” 

“Bother me?” I asked, tilting my head in confusion about his query. 

“That I took advances towards you when I have, you know—” Baekhyun innocently shrugs, licking his bottom lip like he’s hesitant to say the next word that’s about to come out of his mouth. “Dick.” 

My laughter comes like a whistling kettle while I hold my stomach from laughing so hard. He looks confused and a bit offended, but he joins in when he realizes that I won’t stop laughing for a while. 

“Sorry—” I cough, trying my best to stop another round of my ugly, hysterical laugh. “Well, to tell you honestly, the first time took me by surprise, but I got used to it. You keep texting me dick jokes that it suddenly felt like a normal thing. Although I’m grateful that you didn’t send a photo of your penis, or I’d really hunt you and stab you in your sleep.” 

It’s his turn to laugh, and my heart finally feels light, as if the awkwardness from my confession is drifting away. I bit my bottom lip while I watched the twinkle in the corner of his eyes as he opened his mouth widely and roared laughter, showcasing his perfectly aligned teeth. 

The room had slowly gone quiet when his eyes met mine, and we stared at each other for a few seconds before he decided to break the silence. 

“Are you going to hit me if I kiss you?” 

I scoff, rolling my eyes playfully. “I might if you don’t.” 

I let out a long, satisfied sigh when he finally placed his lips on mine. It’s what I’ve imagined all along. Soft and warm.  

Warmth. It’s what creeps from my neck to my face when Baekhyun cups my jaw to tilt my head to the side to have better access to my mouth.  I couldn’t stop the moan from the back of my throat when he spread my lips with his to open my mouth, and my tongue met his. 

That made Baekhyun pull away from my mouth, and my eyes are unable to open for a few seconds as the feeling of his lips lingered on mine.  

“You are breathtaking,” Baekhyun’s voice is hoarse, and when I open my eyes, his orbs are dancing around my facial features. He runs his thumb on my bottom lip before leaning forward for a peck on my lips and pulling away in an instant. “So, what do you say?” 

“I’ve never thought I could like someone like you,” I exhale through my nose, and my voice comes out like a whisper.  

“Because I have a dick?” he chuckled huskily, sending me a cheeky smile. 

I burst out laughing, pushing his chest lightly before hooking my fingers on his belt. “You seem to be eager about your dick, Baekhyun. You sure it won’t disappoint?” I playfully taunt him, raising a brow suggestively. 

Being dramatic as he is, he gasps loudly, clearly offended—still. He hastily unbuckles his belt and is about to unbutton his pants. “I can prove it right now—” 

With my eyes wide open, I stop his movement by holding his arms firmly. I chuckle, a bit abashed with my facetious remark about his pride. “How about the bed?” 

Baekhyun has a cheek to blush when he realizes that I gave him the consent to really show me his shaft, maybe even do more. It’s actually the first time I’ve seen him flushed. It had been the other way around. 

I’m a giggling mess when Baekhyun visibly struggles to carry me to his bedroom. I was honest with him when I told him that I like keeping a healthy weight. I don’t do fad diets, and he knew that I eat a lot of not-so-healthy stuff when I’m stressed out. But he still insisted on being “romantic,” as he said. 

When my back finally hit the soft mattress, I let out a cough from laughing too much before meeting Baekhyun’s eyes. Despite grunting all the way to his room, he seemed fine; his gaze was dancing around my facial features. 

“What?” I tried my best to keep a straight face when, in fact, our current position on his bed made me realize how intimate we are, and also close, probably—if things go well, on doing something besides kissing each other. 

I almost melted on the spot when Baekhyun displays a gentle smile on his face while his fingers tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “A man is just appreciating his woman’s beauty.” 

My eyes roll playfully, though I can feel how my stomach flutter from his smooth words. “Alright, mister. Are we going to be just sappy all night or...?” 

Baekhyun chuckles huskily, leaning his body weight on top of me and diving his head down to kiss my lips. Then, it traveled to my chin and to my jaw. 

My mouth falls open when his mouth reaches my neck. It started with his soft, puckered lips on my skin until he started with an open-mouthed kiss on the base of my neck.  

We are moving quite fast, but I’m too occupied by the way his tongue is brushing on my skin, his teeth biting the soft flesh before sucking on the spot. 

“Shit—Baekhyun,” I sigh from the stimulation, closing my eyes when I feel the tightness in his pants as he moves to place his lips on mine again.  

A silent whimper escapes my mouth when Baekhyun suddenly pulls away. I snap my eyes open, furrowing my brows at him. But before I could even open my mouth to ask him why he stopped, he beat me to it.  

“Are you okay—is this okay? Am I making you uncomfortable?” 

“I’m okay. C’mere.” I answer in an instant, grabbing his neck to kiss him again, but he pulls away. 

“Do you want me to keep the lights on, or do you prefer it off?” 

“I’d prefer it if you keep your mouth on mine,” I deadpan. The built-up frustration in me starts to act up. 

I expect Baekhyun to respond sassily or to laugh as he normally does, but he looks a bit somber, and it somehow makes me feel guilty. 

“I just don’t want to ruin this, baby,” Baekhyun explains, heaving a sigh. “Trust me when I say that I want this more than you do, but I’m thinking that this might be your first time—” 

“With a guy, yeah...” I cut him off, fiddling with the button of his dress shirt. “I’m sorry—I didn’t think about that.” 

“Hey,” Baekhyun nudged my nose with his to call for my attention, and it did. I see his bright eyes, and he immediately smiles. “Why are you apologizing? I'm honored that you want me, but let me take care of you, yeah?” 

I nod my head with a smile, “Okay.” 

Dropping another kiss on my mouth, he starts lifting the oversized sweater I’m wearing, exposing more skin for him to touch.  

“Oh, shit,” Baekhyun curses under his breath when the hem of my sweater reaches above my chest, exposing my bare mounds to him. “No bra?” 

I giggle, placing my palms over my nipples when I see how he ogles on them. “I was sleeping when you called, remember? Who wears a bra when they sleep?” 

He gently grabs my wrists, pulling them to my sides before removing my top completely. My back arches when he puts one nipple in his warm cavern, his teeth grazing the surface before completely sucking my areole further into his mouth. 

My hand flies to his head, bunching his hair softly when his tongue starts swirling around. He makes sure to treat my other boob the same, giving me the same pleasure as the previous one.  

I let a moan when he starts trailing kisses down to my navel, squirming a little bit when he purposely licks on the side of my stomach when he notices that I’m quite ticklish. 

He unties my sweatpants, pulling them down from my thighs to my legs until they reach the floor. I’m left in my plain cotton underwear, and I can’t stop covering my face with my hands when he holds my knees before pulling them apart. 

I should’ve at least worn a much decent piece if I just knew that I’d be bare in front of Baekhyun. 

But that thought flies outside the window when I feel his index finger lightly rub against my clothed private part. When I open my eyes, I’m surprised to see that Baekhyun is already looking at me as if waiting for a negative reaction or refusal. 

“Oh, God—” I prop on my elbow to get a better view of him rubbing me down there, my jaw slack for a silent moan. “Keep going, please.” 

Taking it as a go signal, he proceeds to remove my underwear, leaving me completely bare before him.  

I throw my head back down to the mattress when Baekhyun positions himself down on the bed, spreading my thigh wider, his breath fans on my womanhood.  

The pad of his thumb rubs my folds. His movements are gentle and slow, but they don’t fail to make me roll my eyes from the sensation, letting out a grunt.  

I squeak when the tip of his nose makes contact with my clit, his finger parting my folds to expose the bundle of nerves. He then starts giving my bud a peck repeatedly. The action makes my womanhood produce its own lubricant, and I only realize that Baekhyun did that to stimulate me rather than forcing me to be wet in an instant. 

Damn. He’s good. 

“Ha...” I moan when his tongue finally runs through my folds. I hold onto his head when he grunts in response, and the vibration makes the tip of my toes curl. “Fuck—yes, please.” 

I heard Baekhyun snicker at my womanhood upon hearing me curse—which I rarely do, sucking on my clit before flicking his tongue on it. My hands, absent-mindedly, push the back of his head further between my legs, feeling the knot in my stomach quickly forming. 

I can’t stop the noise coming out from my mouth when he shakes his head, stimulating my womanhood intensely. His middle finger sneaks inside my hole before pulling away to peer at my face.  

“Please—don’t stop,” I beg, biting my bottom lip when he added another finger, thrusting them faster. “I’m almost there.” 

Baekhyun grunts, his mouth coming to my clit again to push me to the edge. I almost lost it just as he started sucking on the bud, making an erotic slurping sound across the room. 

My thigh clamps his head as I try to pull away when my climax hits, but he’s much stronger, making sure he gets all the substance from my entrance.  

I prop on my elbow even though I’m still recovering from the mind-blowing orgasm he gave me. I watch him with hooded eyes as he continuously digs his tongue on my entrance, moaning like he’s satisfied with my cum. 

When my muscles start to twitch from overstimulation, I push his face away with my hand before covering my womanhood as he attempts to have a taste again. 

“Okay, you’ve had enough,” I laughed light-heartedly, grabbing his face for a kiss.  

Baekhyun moans when I part his lips with my tongue, tasting myself on him. “I’ll never have enough of you, baby. I don’t think I can ever get enough.” 

I wrap my arms around his neck, climbing onto his lap for us to switch positions on the bed. I trail kisses from his lips to his jaw, and when I reach his neck, my fingers start to unbutton his dress shirt, pushing the fabric away from his body to expose his toned torso. 

However, before I could even completely remove his pants, he stopped me from doing so, and I looked at him with a baffled expression.  

“Are you alright with—” 

“Sucking a dick?” I snort, tugging his pants again when he lifts his hips for the garment to slide down his bottom. “I’ve never tried it before; thus, your guidance will be very much appreciated.” 

Baekhyun grins upon hearing my statement, although he closes his eyes in an instant when I circle my fingers on his member without any warning. He’s already hard, and I’m unable to hide my amusement at how it keeps twitching when I start moving my hand.  

“Baby...” Baekhyun growls, snapping his eyes open to observe what I’m doing. “I had a long day; I don’t think I’ll last long tonight. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” 

I snicker, pumping his length continuously. “I thought I heard you say that it won’t disappoint.” 

“It won’t,” he glares, though the furrow on his brows quickly vanishes when I grip him tighter. “But someone decided that it was a great idea to ghost me this afternoon.” 

I finally stopped my ministration, giving him a sheepish smile. “Sorry.” 

“I had to endure Jessi’s nagging when I asked her about you and that you were not answering my calls. She thought that I did something wrong to you.” 

I jut out my bottom lip on him to act adorable, but it’s obviously a failure when he visibly grimaces playfully. I hit his chest before throwing myself on top of him, giving his mouth a smooch. “I’m sorry. I’ve been thinking about us, and it’s eating me alive. You know what happened with my ex, and as much as possible, I don’t want it to happen again.” 

“I will do my best not to hurt you, baby,” he kisses the tip of my nose, which I find to be too endearing. “I may play around a lot, but I take my relationship very seriously. My friends and family know that.” 

“And you’re thirty,” I press my palms on each side of his cheek, giggling when his lips turn into a pout. “You need to settle down, old man.” 

Baekhyun gasps, holding my wrist and sitting up on the bed. “Are you proposing to me right now?” 

I know he meant it as a joke, but my mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. He probably noticed how flustered I became, and he laughed it off, kissing my lips to calm me down. “I’ll do the proposing, baby. Don’t worry.” 

His words didn’t help, and my whole body felt like it was on fire. Tonight is officially our first night together, and the discussion about marriage has already been brought up. It’s obvious that we are moving too fast, but somehow, it doesn’t bother me... at all. 

We are just looking at each other for a few moments, in each other’s embrace. Hence, I finally decided to break the silence. 

“Can I suck your dick now?” 

Baekhyun laughs out loud, caressing my bare back with his palm. “Alright, baby. Just for a bit?” 

I nod my head with a wide smile on my face, tucking my hair behind my ear. He sees that I’m struggling with my hair, and thankfully, he decided to hold it for me.  

I lower my head until my lips touch his tip. My eyes flickered to see Baekhyun’s reaction for a bit when I heard him hiss. His face is scrunched up, and he’s biting his bottom lip while watching me go down on him. 

Feeling encouraged by his response, I spread my lips wider to take him in my warm mouth. My heart feels like it’s being tickled by soft feathers when he moans loudly, “Oh—shit, baby.” 

His grip on my hair becomes tighter when I started bobbing my head around his length, not forgetting to circle my tongue on his tip every time I need to take a breath. 

“W-wait, I’m close, baby,” he pulls me up from my position and guides me to lie down on the mattress while he positions himself between my legs. 

When he reaches his nightstand for protection, I immediately stop him from opening the packet. “Is it alright if we do it without the rubber?” 

It’s his time to be surprised by my request. He raises his brows in shock, although he seems to be tempted. “Are you sure?” 

I quickly nod my head, “Yes, I want to feel you.” 

Baekhyun throws the packet of condoms on the floor, placing his palm on the mattress beside my head for support as he lines his length on my hole, seemingly pleased with my justification. “Okay. I’ll just pull out—” 

“Can you come in me?” I’m so embarrassed to ask him this question, but I’ve been meaning to, as I really want to feel it. In case he feels uncomfortable with the idea, I instantly added, “I’ll get pills tomorrow to avoid any unplanned occurrence, I promise.” 

“Relax, baby,” Baekhyun gives me a reassuring smile, slowly pushing his length into me. My jaw goes slack, and my eyes close from the stretch. It’s not that painful, as I’ve used stuff for penetration before. 

“I don’t mind the idea of you being swollen here.” He places his hand on my belly, rubbing the skin with his thumb. “In fact, I’d love it. But you have the final say, baby. It’s your body.” 

My bottom lip is caught between my teeth as I whimper when he sheathes his member deep in me. I throw my head back on the mattress, and he takes it as an opportunity to lick and bite my exposed neck. 

When I tap his shoulder to let him know I’m ready, he straightens his back, holding on to my hips as he pulls out and pushes in my womanhood.  

It seems impossible, but it feels like my walls can perceive the veins of his cock. It twitches from time to time, hitting a spot in me that would make me roll my eyes to the back of my head.  

I’ve used toys before; my ex loved to use them, but this is different. His length is snug on my walls and rubs my insides perfectly. Not to mention the way his hips would snap on my pelvis, stimulating my outer lips as well. 

My chest starts to heave as I pant when Baekhyun adds his finger to the scene, rubbing my clit while his thrusts go faster. 

“Oh, gosh!” I squeak, frantically gripping the sheets, when I feel the tight knot in my stomach close to bursting. “I’m close—please, don’t stop.” 

I didn’t expect that he could go faster than he already had, but boy, he truly didn’t disappoint when he went faster, and his thrust became firmer. 

“I’m almost there, baby,” he grunts, removing his hand away from my clit so he can support his weight when he leans down to place his lips on mine.  

I moan in his mouth, holding on to his back, when I feel something warm shoot inside of me. The warmth almost feels like a tickle and surprisingly satisfying. I never thought those explicit videos I watched when I was a teenager were true. 

My arms hugged his figure closer to my body when he finally gave up and lay on top of me. His face is buried in my neck while he catches his breath. It takes him a good minute to remove his weight on me, not even giving me a chance to comprehend what he’s about to do. 

He stuffs two of his fingers in my hole, and his lips go to my clit to suck the bud. I let out a high-pitched scream as I grabbed a fistful of his hair, totally overwhelmed by his quick movement. 

“I’m coming—I’m coming!” 

My legs convulse from the intensity of my second climax of the night, and I almost cried when Baekhyun wouldn’t stop slurping the juices from my hole. I didn’t expect it to happen, and I guess he didn’t see it coming as well, but a thin liquid gushed out from my vagina from overstimulation. 

I was about to apologize to him but was surprised when he looked so pleased, sticking his tongue out before licking a stripe on my folds one last time before climbing up to devour my mouth. 

“That’s so hot,” he remarks, pertaining to what happened. “I’d pay with my soul to make it happen again.” 

I chuckle at his statement, though tiredly, “I’m glad I didn’t disappoint you.” 

Baekhyun laughs, biting my bottom lip and pulling it with his teeth. “And I hope I didn’t disappoint you either.” 

A smile formed on my lips before giving his lips a chaste kiss that I could say that I poured my heart into. “You’re perfect.” 

When I decided to activate my social media again, I instantly received many messages from my high school friends and people from university.  

My high school friends were so ecstatic when they saw that I uploaded a story on my account after being unreachable for months.  

It was a silhouette of Baekhyun and the sun setting in the background.  

They were supportive and happy that I was seeing someone again after the bad break-up with my ex. 

While the people I know from university didn’t even say any greetings and went straight to, “Who is this?” or, “A guy???” some even sent, “You’re straight now?” 

I chose to ignore the toxicity from those people and focus on the good side. I left them on seen and went on with my life where everything seems to be falling into place. 

And I think that irked them as someone sent me a screenshot of their conversation in a group chat that my ex is also a part of—and which I was kicked out of when we broke up. They were talking about the story I uploaded and how I am probably rubbing it on their faces that I’m dating someone again, notably a man. 

I don’t mind their tattles, but what my ex said bothers me a lot. She said, “He’s just a tit for tat from our break-up. It’s only going to be joyful at first. They’ll break up in a few months, believe me.” 

I remember my face turning so red when I read her message. However, I did my best to keep my cool and replied to the person who sent the screenshot with a simple, “I’d rather not include myself in their narrative. But I appreciate the thought of you reaching out.” 

Because she couldn’t be more wrong.  

A week after we officially got together, Baekhyun was the one who asked if he could meet my parents. I told my mom about it, and she enthusiastically invited him for dinner.  

To say that my parents love him at the first meeting is such an understatement. Baekhyun is a charmer. Everyone could be swooned by his tactics, and my parents weren’t an exemption. 

A week after that, he was already playing golf with my dad, and he would play the piano with my mom. 

In the third month, Baekhyun invited me to attend the wedding of his cousin. His parents would be there, and he wanted me to meet them. It was such a nerve-wracking moment since I never got a chance to be close to my ex’s parents or any of her family members. 

But boy, was I wrong. 

His mother linked her arm with mine almost the whole time at the reception. She asked different questions that weren’t personal and made me promise at least five times to visit them at their home for me to try her cooking. 

His dad was the calm and serene one but would say the word: daughter-in-law when someone would ask who I was. 

I also met his older brother and his family. They were all nice and friendly. Baekhyun’s nephews even started calling me aunt. 

“You’re the second girl Baekhyun introduced to us,” his brother told me, tipping his head in Baekhyun’s direction while the latter was engaged in a conversation with their relatives. “The first one was his senior in high school. She was his first girlfriend. She shouldn’t be included, to be honest, because we’ve known her before they started going out. So, technically, you’re the first.” 

I was not uncomfortable with the mention of my current lover’s past relationship, and I appreciated the honesty instead. “He mentioned that he dated quite a few before me, though.” 

His brother snorted, shaking his head. “He did. Mom would always ask him to bring them over. But he kept saying that he wouldn’t bring someone he won’t marry.” 

Baekhyun was confused and quite worried on the drive home because my face was crimson red the whole night. He kept checking my forehead and neck to see if I had a fever or if I had eaten something bad at the wedding reception. 

I wasn’t planning on telling him the reason for my sudden change of behavior and why I was blushing like crazy, but when we arrived at his place and were about to go to bed, he insisted on going to the hospital so I could get checked. 

Hence, I decided to tell him what his older brother told me. I hid my face in the space on his neck, abashed, and I was pretty sure that my blushing went over and beyond. 

I was expecting him to laugh, to make fun of the silly thing his brother informed me. But a kiss on my forehead and a back rub were the things I received from him. 

“Of course, I do see myself marrying you,” his voice was like velvet as he spoke, his hand never stopping caressing my back. “I can’t see myself with anyone else besides you.” 

I was about to cry, but he might’ve realized that what he said was mushy and decided to be his playful self again. “Because who else can tolerate your dad's jokes except me?” 

My fist came in contact with his chest, although a bubble of laughter escaped my lips. I also couldn’t see myself with anyone else but him. 

That was the first time we said the three words to each other, as we both came from our love-making relationship. 

In the sixth month, I told my parents that I saw an apartment near the office that fit my budget and was planning to get a place for myself as I felt bad about living in their house at my age. 

They told me that they would love it if I stayed with them since they did get lonely when I was still with my ex. But at the same time, they assured me that they would respect my decision, whatever it would be. 

I promised that I would visit them if I ever moved out and told them that they could do the same.  

Before I could contact the realtor, I decided to tell Baekhyun about my plans as well. He was surprised, to tell the least, and I honestly didn’t expect him to react the way he did. 

“Why would you look at a different place?” Although he wasn’t yelling, it was obvious that his tone of voice was close to being upset.  

“I’m just planning, babe,” I told him, squeezing his arm to ease his mood, but he just brushed me off, which was shocking. I cleared my throat before clarifying what I said. “That’s why I’m telling you first before I inquire with the realtor if I could check the place and apply for a lease and—” 

“And I asked you why.” 

It was also the first time I’ve seen him in this mood, and it made me want to cry on the spot. Not because I got scared of him but because he was upset because of what I told him—because of me. 

“I feel bad living with my parents, Baekhyun,” I confessed, looking at my lap as I fiddled with the seam of my pants. “I’m already twenty-eight, and I shouldn’t be a burden to my parents. Also, the place I’m eyeing is only ten minutes away from the office, and it would somehow make my life easier.” 

Baekhyun scoffs, turning his head to me. “And the distance of my place is also ten minutes away from the office. That didn’t cross your mind?” 

I opened my mouth but closed it right away when I couldn’t find the courage to tell him that I did. However, I didn’t have the guts to tell him—and I was embarrassed as hell to even think about it, so I opt to look for a place on my own. 

“Do you even love me?!”  

I gasped loudly, my eyes wide as saucers as I stared at him like he had grown another head on his neck. “What the hell, Baekhyun? I told you about it because I care about your opinion. Why are you getting angry at me like I did something horrendous?” 

I believed that made him slap some reality on him. He closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose, “I—I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to shout. I just—I don’t want you living by yourself, it’s not safe. And I have my own place. You can move in with me—and honestly, I’d love that if you do.” 

I rolled my eyes at him, shaking my head, and it made him panic, thinking that I was declining his proposal. “I’ll think about it, you idiot.” 

Baekhyun exaggeratedly pouted, huffing as he tried to act cute, which never failed to make me cringe every time he did, by the way. “You didn’t even think twice about renting another place. What’s so wrong with living with your awesomely handsome boyfriend, huh? You get to see my face first thing in the morning, get to shower with me because, you know—conserve water and all that, and seriously, you don’t have to pay rent.” 

I was about to cut him off when he mentioned that I wouldn’t have to pay rent if I moved in with him, but he placed his index finger on my mouth, shushing me like a child. 

“I won’t accept any kind of money for rent, baby. A blowjob, maybe?” 

My palm hurt from slapping his arm repeatedly, but he just kept laughing as he dodged every hit. “You know I do that for free.” 

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip, raising a brow suggestively. “Shit, now I’m hard.” 

I didn’t know how our argument would always make us tangled in bed, but it just happened. Always. 

And you can blame the euphoria or whatever, but it made me agree to move to his place. He asked when I literally just came, and I wasn’t even done screaming his name, and my muscles were still convulsing from the intensity of my orgasm. 

He played dirty, but I didn’t regret my decision a single bit. 

In the eleventh month, something unexpected happened. 

Actually, two things happened. 

I received an invitation from a university acquaintance to her wedding. I didn’t want to go because this person was part of the group chat where they gossiped about my life. But Baekhyun told me to go and be the bigger person. 

I knew he told me to go not to become the bigger person, but because he read her text and specifically said, “Bring your boyfriend with you.” 

He knew about the screenshot of what my ex had told other people when I uploaded a photo of him. I wasn’t planning on telling him because I found it completely ridiculous, but I was drunk, and my mouth ran before my brain did. 

“You just want to show how hot you are,” I rolled my eyes, chucking a pillow on his face. 

“Oh, so you admit that I’m hot?” he trapped my figure on the bed with his arms, grinding his bulge on my private part. 

“Eh, you’re okay...” I shrugged my shoulders, dismissing his growing ego. 

“That’s not what you told me last night when I was eating you out—” 

“Alright, alright! I’ll go, okay? But you need to come with me. I don’t think I’ll survive more than an hour there.” I covered his mouth with my hand, and he had the audacity to smile and kiss my palm.  

He removed my hand from his mouth, dropping a kiss to my mouth and then to my neck while his fingers yanked my underwear, throwing it to the floor. “Of course, I’ll come with you. But for now, I’ll come to you. How’s that sound?” 

I hugged his neck, and a throaty moan escaped my lips when his length plunged into my womanhood, caressing my walls satisfyingly. “Oh, I’d love that.” 

When the day came, I felt under the weather, and Baekhyun had an impromptu meeting. I was about to text my friend, but before I could, she already left a message thirty minutes ago.  

“I’m expecting you to be there! I haven’t seen you in a long time. Just because Yunjin will be there, you’ll bail out on my wedding day!” 

I can’t remember if we were that close back in university for me to be an important present on her big day, but as I stared at her message, I realized that they just wanted me to be the main dish. 

Baekhyun even told me to stay at home and that he’d come home right after his meeting, but I had already responded to that person, confirming my attendance. 

He called me stubborn when I explained that I wouldn’t back down on their schemes, although he still drove me to the reception.  

I kissed his lips, thanking him for driving me before getting out of the car.  

“I’ll come right after the meeting. Call me if anything happens. And when I said anything—anything, alright?” 

I kissed him one more time, totally swooned by his caring personality. “Okay. I love you. Drive safe, yeah?” 

“I love you too, baby. I’ll see you later.” 

As expected, she invited me just to meet Baekhyun. I was almost fuming in annoyance when they kept laughing at how Baekhyun was not there. Even my ex was laughing with her punchline, “I’m starting to think that the guy on your story was just a random photo you saw on Google.” 

I didn’t want them to think that I was getting affected by their jokes that I knew were half-meant. So, I decided to laugh with them, and I wasn’t ashamed to show them that it was by force.  

Baekhyun texted me to say that he was running late, and if he didn’t make it to the reception, he’d still come and pick me up. I told him that it was fine and assured him that no one was harassing me when he sent: IS SOMEONE BOTHERING YOU THERE???, in all caps. 

The second thing happened when my ex sat beside me and handed me a glass of wine. The smell of the alcohol, although quite subtle, when it reached my nostrils, I wasn’t able to hold back my gag. I peeked at my ex, and gladly, she didn’t see it. 

But one person did. The one who sent me the screenshot of their group chat messages. 

She eyed me with concern when I gagged once again before deciding to place the wine on the table where I wouldn’t smell it. 

Remembering that I wasn’t feeling well this morning, I was about to call Baekhyun, but at the same time, I didn’t want to bother him for a while since he mentioned that it was an important meeting with a stakeholder. I knew he said to call him if anything happened, but I thought that I could still handle it. 

Since it was nearing the end of the reception, more alcohol came into the hall, and I started getting dizzy. I ran to the toilet and tried to stick my finger on my mouth to induce vomit since I’d been gagging and thought that it was a good idea to just let it all out. 

“No—wait, don’t do that.” 

It was Jisoo who sent me the screenshot. She held my hand away from my mouth, brushing away the hair that got stuck on my face as I started breaking into a cold sweat.  

She closed the cubicle door and sat on the cold tiles in front of me. “I saw how you became sensitive to the smell of alcohol. How many weeks are you in?” 

I tilted my head to the side, not having an idea of what she was asking. “Sorry?” 

“Oh,” she smiled sheepishly, “aren’t you pregnant? I’m sorry if you find it offensive. I—” 

I chuckled nervously, not expecting to hear that from her or from anyone. “I probably ate a lot earlier, huh? That it bloats my belly.” 

I haven’t tracked my period due to work, and I got busy when Baekhyun and I decided to re-décor the apartment. But we are careful. I have been taking after pills since we got accumulated on not using protection nor pulling out.  

“Oh, shit...” 

My eyes widened in realization as I remembered the night that Baekhyun came home when I was already asleep. He was tipsy as he met with his friends for a drink, and when he saw me sleeping just with a loose t-shirt and underwear, he initiated intercourse. 

I was tired, so I let him be. I quickly went back to sleep when he finished, and when morning came, I rushed to get ready for work since neither of our alarms went off for some reason, and the afterpill on the medicine cabinet was left untouched. 

Jisoo gasped upon seeing my reaction, “You—you didn’t know?” 

I shook my head slowly, still in faze by the fact that I could be, and a large possibility, pregnant. “I—we were busy. I was feeling normal until today...” 

“I—” Jisoo rummaged through her purse, groaning when she didn’t find what she was looking for. “I usually carry a test with me, but I don’t have it right now. I—uhm, I can ask the hotel clinic if you want to. Or would you want to do it by yourself at home?” 

“I—uh,” I heaved a deep sigh, not knowing what to do but to dial Baekhyun’s number with my shaky fingers. When he didn’t answer, I left him a message, hoping that he’d read it soon. 

Come pick me up, please. Sent | 7:45 PM 

Jisoo stayed by my side as we went back to the gathering. She even got a different chair for me to sit on rather than the seat next to Yunjin. I gave her a grateful smile, and she just squeezed my hand to tell me it was fine. 

I was bouncing my legs for at least ten minutes straight when I decided to tell Jisoo that I wanted to test it now, and she nodded her head, telling me to wait for her while she went to the hotel clinic to see if they had a test kit. 

When she came back, she nonchalantly asked me to go with her to the bathroom as she needed to retouch her make-up. The other girls just waved us off, not really caring about us.  

On the way to the bathroom, I finally received my boyfriend’s reply, and I couldn’t help but sigh in relief. 

You alright? Received | 8:18 PM 

I hastily typed a simple Yes, and his response calmed my nerves a bit. 

On my way. Give me 15 mins max, baby. Love you. Received | 8:19 PM 

I read the instructions carefully and made sure that what I’d done was correct when the result finally showed on the kit. I bang my head on the cubicle’s wall, alerting Jisoo on the other side.  

“Is everything okay?” 

“One line means negative, right?” I asked dumbly, not knowing how to react to this situation.  

“Yes,” Jisoo confirmed, knocking on the door to ask me to open it, and I did. “Is it negative?” 

I handed her the kit, my face blank of any expression.  

She gasped loudly when she saw the two lines, pushing me back inside the cubicle and locking the door. “Congratulations!” 

She jumped on her feet as she hugged my almost limp figure. When she noticed that I wasn’t excited about the news like she was, she looked at me with concern on her face. “Are you not planning on this?” 

I shook my head, biting my bottom lip as I got worried about Baekhyun’s reaction to the news. We both discussed marriage but haven’t gotten further about a child coming into play. 

What if he didn’t want a child like my ex? Will he change? Will he leave me as well? 

Yunjin being unfaithful and breaking up with me was painful, and it took months for me to feel alive again. 

But the thought of Baekhyun walking out of my life was unthinkable.  

I just couldn’t. 

I was beyond grateful to Jisoo when she held my arm as I decided to leave the venue and wait for Baekhyun to pick me up. However, as soon as we got to the table to bid them goodbye, I saw everyone gushing about Baekhyun. 

“I saw you on LinkedIn, and you’re an Executive Director of the company you built, right? What are you doing here? Are you related to the bride or the groom?” one of them asked, resting a hand on my boyfriend’s thigh, and it didn’t fail to make me raise an eyebrow in annoyance. 

“Right! I knew he looked familiar the moment he walked in. I’ve heard that it’s a great place to work. You have an impressive accomplishment at such an age, I must say.” Yunjin even joined the conversation, seemingly immersed in seeing Baekhyun. 

Jessi once told me how Baekhyun has achieved incredible credibility in terms of corporate business, and a lot of multinational corporations have asked him to join their team, but he chose to stay with Junmyeon, his good friend, since grade school. 

Fortunately, Baekhyun brushed her hand away, eyes scanning the place to look for me. “It’s the company of my close friend, and I’m just helping him. And I’m looking for my—” 

“You’re such a humble guy. Can I have your number—” 

“Oh—there you are!” Baekhyun sighed in relief and smiled sheepishly when he saw how unhappy I looked upon seeing the interaction. He walked in my direction and kissed my lips in front of everyone. 

“My conscience is clear, baby,” he whispered to my ear before facing them, whose eyes were wide and their jaw almost reaching the floor. “I’m here to pick up my girlfriend. And we’ll get going now.” 

I forced myself to smile, waving them goodbye, and couldn’t stop the amused chuckle I felt when I saw their incredulous look, especially when Baekhyun intertwined our fingers in front of their faces. 

“Thank you,” I mouthed to Jisoo when Baekhyun tugged my hand as a signal for us to leave the place. I felt sorry because he must’ve been uncomfortable from their questioning earlier. 

Jisoo smiled widely, raising a fist in the air, whispering, “Fighting! And call me.” 

And that made me remember the reality that I have a child in me, and I must tell Baekhyun about it. 

When we reached home, we washed up together and went to bed. I knew it was a long meeting, and he must be so tired, but I couldn’t stop the negative thoughts in my head. And I won’t be able to sleep in this condition. 

He was already breathing heavily, a sign that he fell asleep, and I confirmed it when I raised my head from his chest and peeked over to see his face.  

I huffed, feeling pathetically frustrated with myself. I could’ve told him on the drive back home, but I waited, and now he was asleep.  

I started whining his name to try to wake him up, but he didn’t even budge. I tried kissing his neck since he was a bit sensitive in there, but all I received was a tired groan.  

“Baby... I’m tired. Tomorrow, okay?” 

I didn’t know if it was because of the pregnancy or if it was just all in my head, but when he turned around so his back would face me instead, I exhaled shakily, and tears started forming on the brim of my eyes.  

I pursed my lips so he wouldn’t hear my soft hiccups. It was a petty thing to do, but I grabbed my pillow and went to the living room, settling myself on the couch with a single pillow and a throw blanket.  

I was sniffling when I closed my eyes, and a salty stream of tears flowed to the side of my face, praying that everything would be okay and that sleep would come so I could rest my mind for a bit. 

My eyes snapped open when I felt the space beside me sink and an arm wrapped around my middle. It was still dark outside the window, so I guessed that it was still dawn. 

I was still somewhat hurt when he turned his back on me, so I decided to do the same, having him taste his own medicine.  

“Baby... don’t do this...” he sounded so fed up, and being at the peak of my emotion, I hid my face even more when I felt a prickle in my nose, and tears started welling up again. 

I was normally reserved and wouldn’t make a big deal on things. I’d like to stay calm and think before I open my mouth on a serious matter. So, this was new to him. 

“You know I’ve never said no to sex before, but please, baby, let me sleep for at least three hours, and I’ll do anything you want.” 

That made me sit up from my curled-up position, and he was beyond shocked to see me crying. “Sex?! You thought I was asking for sex? What the fuck, Baekhyun!” 

“No—wait, baby. Don’t cry—oh, my God.” he tried to initiate a hug, but I slapped his hands away, glaring at him. “Why are you so mad at me—where are you going?!” 

I was sobbing violently, trying to push his chest away, when he literally tackled me on the couch when I attempted to walk away. He waited for me to calm down, not saying anything, but would peck the tip of my nose when I would hiccup. 

When my sobs finally ceased, he tilted my chin so he could look directly into my eyes. “Are you going to tell me now why you’re so mad at me?” 

I just sniffed, not answering his question. 

“How am I going to fix it if you won’t tell me?” he sighed, closing his eyes in probable annoyance. 

“Are you getting tired of me?” I croaked, biting my lip when it trembled.  

He rubbed his face tiredly before huffing. “What—” 

“Just say it if you’re fed up with me. I won’t make things complicated, and I will leave you alone.” 

“Baby—do you hear yourself? What the hell is wrong with you?” Baekhyun hated the instances in which he would raise his voice at me, but this time, it seemed like I needed it from his point of view. “Why are you breaking up with me? Did something happen—did I do something wrong? Tell me so I can fix it—at least give me a chance to fix it!” 

“I—” I lowered my head as another set of tears formed. 

I heard Baekhyun sniff, and his voice started to crack. “Baby... please... tell me what’s wrong.” 

I raised my head to look at him, and guilt crashed through me when I saw his eyes turn red and glossy. “Promise me you won’t get angry... please.” 

“You know I would never be angry with you.” 

I gulped audibly before opening my mouth to finally tell him what I should’ve done earlier. “The girl you saw earlier, the one whom I was in the bathroom, she thought I was pregnant because I became sensitive to the smell of wine.” 

He nodded his head, urging me to continue. 

“She asked me to do a test. And, uh... it came positive.” 

Baekhyun’s eyes widened in surprise, and his mouth fell open. “You—we—we’re pregnant?” 

“Yes,” I confirmed his question, anticipating his next action. Is he going to be mad about the unplanned pregnancy? We haven’t even been together for a year. Will a baby be a hindrance to our—his freedom? 

Baekhyun exhaled heavily like he was holding his breath for a long time, “Baby—that’s—you should’ve told me. Is that the reason why you’re frustrated at me?” 

I was breathing heavily, thousands of thoughts running through my head, when he didn’t directly confirm if he was fine with it or if he wanted to be out of the picture. “You’re okay with it? You’re not mad?” 

Baekhyun looked at me like I’d said something I shouldn’t have. “What—why would I be mad about it? We’re having a baby, my love. This is good news! Where the hell you got the idea of me not wanting to have a child with you?” 

I’d like to blame it on the pregnancy this time when I started sobbing, throwing myself to Baekhyun as I hugged his neck tightly. He must’ve sensed my sincere emotion, that I was frightened that he could’ve thought otherwise about the situation. 

Baekhyun hugged my figure, caressing my back and the back of my head to calm me down. “Please don’t ever doubt my love for you. I’ve never loved someone as much as I love you. Please don’t forget that, although I will never get tired of reminding you every day.” 

I cried even more with his confession, wailing: I love you, as I hid my face in his neck, climbing on his lap as I made myself comfortable in his hold. 

Baekhyun showered my face with kisses when I pulled away, despite my cheeks being soaked with tears and my nose probably snotty. He looked at me like I was his greatest treasure. “My baby is such a crybaby.” 

I sniffed, though a smile finally formed in my mouth. “I guess I’m not your baby anymore, huh.” 

Baekhyun scrunched up his nose, nodding his head. “Yeah... I mean, I’d go down on one knee right now to make you my wife instead, but I haven’t bought a ring yet. Will a Ring Pop do for now?” 

I placed a chaste kiss on his lips before laughing. “As long as it’d be strawberry flavor, I’ll say yes.” 

Baekhyun laughed so loud that I had to cover his mouth with my palm as it was still dark outside, and our neighbors might report us if we didn’t tone down our voices. 

“But seriously, babe,” he hummed as he laid me down on the bed and attacked my neck with his lips. “Why did you turn your back on me earlier? I was so hurt when you did that.” 

Baekhyun looked so done with me, but instead of getting bothered by it, I found it amusing how he went on for almost an hour, explaining that he didn’t do it on purpose and he was just half asleep and wouldn’t do it if he was fully awake. 

In the twelfth month, Baekhyun finally went down on one knee. Asking me to marry him with a proper ring adorned in his fingers. Our families and our closest friends were there.  

I couldn’t help but tear up to see them celebrating for us. 

On the fifteenth month, I walked down the aisle to vow to take Baekhyun as my husband. The wedding was rushed, and we thought it wasn't plausible. But a good friend of mine, Jisoo, who is a wedding organizer, made it happen. What are the odds? 

By then, I stopped counting the months and just lived in the moment with him.  

With Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun is different. He proves to me every single day that I’m finally with someone I can feel safe with. Someone who will celebrate my success—our success together. Someone I can lean on and someone who needs me as much. Someone who trusts me as I trust him. Someone who loves me as much as I love him. 

Someone who respects me as much as I respect him. 

I couldn’t be more thankful that I didn’t take my friends’ advice about vengeance. 

Because you know what’s better than revenge? 

Moving on, then finding contentment and happiness. 

It could be at work, financially, family, or in person. Let time heal you, and once you feel like you can take a bath and eat breakfast, keep moving forward and focus on what and who makes you happy. 

You’re going to be okay. I promise. 

It took me a long time, but I finally found the love I’ve always wanted. 

[talkethtothehandeth]

“Doctor shopping.” Let’s talk about her.

If you’re disabled you’ve probably heard of this before— if you haven’t, or you’re just unfamiliar in general, or an ableist who says this shit, let’s talk about it <3 because the definition has been overtaken and pissed on by more ableist bitches than the ones who demonized addiction within the medical field and caused this term to exist.

So, “doctor shopping” is actually originated from the people who oversee healthcare, which includes any non medical professionals who are involved in the process as well, like big pharma. It’s been defined (in medical related research journals, not just on social media/ the internet), as “a patient consultation with multiple physicians in a short time frame with the explicit intent to deceive them in order to obtain controlled substances.”

However, you hear in the community, from ableist ableds or even ableist disabled people who are like fucking rabid and frothing at the mouth, gnashing their teeth while flipping over the tiniest of pebbles to find “fakers”, (which is usually an AFAB person with multiple conditions that are followed by a slew of symptoms ranging in prevalence and severity, or someone that doesn’t “seem disabled” who becomes a target). So they call it “doctor shopping” when they see chronically ill or disabled people continue to advocate for themselves by going to countless appointments to try to find out what is causing their health to decline. They (ableists) think that by changing providers or continuing to pursue a diagnosis between multiple providers constitutes doctor shopping. It isn’t our desire, and it’s absolutely exhausting and painful when you’re left with no answers.

If I had not gone to the ER multiple times within two months, I would have died. The fluids kept me alive, and the medicine helped. My mom was preparing my dad for my death, and my fiancée was petrified of losing me because my condition continued to declined. But the entire time I was there, I was terrified of asking for medicine because I didn’t want to be labeled a drug seeker, especially because I’ve been open (for my safety) about using marijuana products. I was crying from how bad it was, my blood pressure was in stage two hypertension from the stress on my body.

They said it was, “nothing to worry about” when I saw my nutrition levels were low. My doctor wants a comprehensive metabolic panel because it is something to worry about because my symptoms were severe. And I had to see another doctor, but that facility ignored me for two months while my pcp and I tried working it out with them. They fucked around with my health for two fucking months. So I had to find a different person, and when I went to her she ordered a procedure, which meant a different facility, which means, yet again a different provider. I even had to go to a different hospital at one point for more tests.

Believe me, we don’t want to go to all of these appointments or see all of these doctors because, half of the time, even though there is something wrong with us, they don’t listen. We don’t want to go back and forth and get more medical trauma just for fun or for a silly little made up diagnosis competition bullshit.

People don’t change their doctors because they want to collect diagnoses like Pokémon, people do it because they want to live comfortably, or at the very least suffer less by finding some sort of direction to move towards to better their own health. I was literally preparing to die from medical neglect, because I did my absolute best and still, to this day, don’t have answers. If I hadn’t sought out more providers, I probably wouldn’t have been able to write this post. I’d be dead already.

This desperate desire to cherry pick what someone shares on the internet about their health and literally fucking stalk people on their social media accounts while looking for any sign that someone could potentially be faking their symptoms is, unfortunately, accepted due to disabled people hating themselves, and ableds hating disabled people. It’s that simple, in my mind.

Other peoples’ bodies, disabilities or symptoms are none of your fucking business, and, yes, this includes the things we decide to share. Disabled people share what we want to, and we live in our bodies 24/7. And some of you really need to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up about how disabled people manage their health care.

I’m not saying there aren’t people who fake conditions, but I am saying that it’s far less than what you choose to believe. You say you want to protect “actually” disabled people by weeding out fakers, when all you’re doing is harming actually disabled people by playing Sick Olympics™️ and accusing them of faking when they’re just trying to seek out life saving treatment— which includes seeing multiple providers to dig deeper for a diagnosis, no matter how rare or outlandish you think it is. You don’t get a medal for harassing disabled people, you’re just a piece of shit.

[esutonia]

a short tutorial on writing majima-speak

So ya wanna learn how to write Majima-speak, eh? Well, I gotta say, you’ve come to the right place. Or maybe the only place? Dunno how many tutorials’re out there fer this shit. Anyway, sit yer ass down and I’ll give ya the scoop on how to write yer favorite fun guy from Kansai.

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a fluent Japanese speaker. These are all the opinions/observations of an American whose only exposure to the Japanese culture and language has been through anime and video games. I have done my best to research all of these observations before just shoving them into this document, but I probably will make mistakes. Any actual Japanese speakers, please correct me. This isn’t supposed to be an educational guide on the nuances of Kansai-ben. This is only a general tutorial on how to portray the Kansai dialect in English writing.

What is Kansai-ben?

Kansai-ben (or Kansai dialect) is a Japanese dialect primarily spoken in the Kansai region of Japan. Pretty straightforward. Our good friend Majima Goro speaks a version of Kansai-ben that I lovingly refer to as Majima-speak. This is because he doesn’t speak true Kansai dialect—it’s a wobbly mix of Kansai and Tokyo (“standard”) that incorporates elements of both. Ugaki Hidenari, Majima’s voice actor, is from Tokyo himself, and doesn’t speak Kansai-ben natively. However, Majima has a lot of quirky Kansai-isms in his speech that make him stand out from other characters.

Therefore, the focus on writing Majima’s dialogue doesn’t have to be accuracy. We aren’t shooting for a 1:1 translation of Kansai to English, because: 1) that doesn’t exist, and 2) he doesn’t speak perfect Kansai anyway. The point is, we’ve got flexibility.

What makes Majima-speak different from regular Japanese?

There are a lot of cultural and historical nuances that I won’t get into, but in modern Japan, the Kansai dialect is perceived as more comedic or casual than standard Japanese. This is reflected in Sega’s localization of Majima’s voice lines: his are rougher, more crass, and generally funnier than other characters’ lines. If you end up taking nothing else from this guide, at least think rough, crass, and funny when writing Majima. It’s a good place to start.

So how do I write Majima-speak?

There are three tips that I keep in mind while I’m writing dialogue for Majima:

Make sure his lines show more emotion than other characters’ lines.

Use shortcuts wherever possible.

Don’t be afraid to get silly with it.

Let’s elaborate on these tips, shall we?

Make sure Majima’s lines show more emotion than other characters’ lines.

I’d like to use Kiryu as an example here, because he’s by far one of the stiffest-speaking characters in the series. For lack of a better term, Kiryu’s lines are prosaic—they sound more like they were written in a book than spoken by a person. Here’s an excerpt from Kiryu and Majima’s first scene together in Yakuza 2, edited for brevity. Pretend you don’t know what this scene looks like and focus on just the text.

Kiryu: It’s Kiryu. Anybody home? I know you’re here…Show yourself. Majima: It’s been too long…Kiryu-chan! You got any idea how lonely I’ve been since ya got outta the game last year? Oh, but I knew my Kiryu-chan would come home sooner or later! Kiryu: It’s been awhile, Majima-no-niisan. Majima: So, what brings ya here? Kiryu: The Tojo Clan…needs you. Majima: For fuck’s sake…What’s this BS now?! You’re a shitty comedian, Kiryu-chan. Kiryu: I’m serious. The Tojo Clan has never needed you more than now. Please.  Majima: No fuckin’ way. Kiryu: Please. Majima: You’re killin’ me, Kiryu-chan! I can’t stand seein’ ya like this! Kiryu: Please, Majima-no-niisan…the Tojo Clan is as good as dead without the Majima Family. Please!

Notice how Majima’s lines are much longer than Kiryu’s and noticeably sound like an actual person said them because they’re more casual. Kiryu basically repeats “please” three times, but each time Majima’s response is different. You’re able to tell that Majima’s incredulous, then annoyed, then upset at Kiryu’s request by the way he adds extra dialogue every time he says “no.” By contrast, you’re not really able to tell how desperate Kiryu is until he starts begging. The main disadvantage with writing is that you’re not able to convey images as clearly through text, so it requires more work to make a character’s emotions show through their dialogue. Majima’s lines are all about emotion, whether it’s real or exaggerated, so make sure the reader is able to tell how he’s feeling without seeing his face.

Use shortcuts whenever possible.

While conveying a character’s emotions through their speech often requires writing longer lines, this does not mean you should waste space or over-explain. The way you can balance this need for emotion with the need for casual dialogue is by using slang and condensing phrases.

English-speakers do this all the time in common conversation. We use contractions (I am = I’m), smash together words (What are you doing? = What’cha doin’?”), and add slang/idioms (“The hour grows late; I shall soon retire” = “It’s getting late, I’m gonna hit the hay”). The key to writing Majima-speak is to use every shortcut possible and then some.

If it’s hard to come up with dialogue on the spot, try thinking about how a guy like Kiryu would say a particular line. Let’s use the example of: “You always were the one guy I couldn’t read.” Then, think about what shortcuts you could potentially make to this sentence. It’s not much, but this sentence could be cut down to: “Y’always were the one guy I couldn’t read.” Doesn’t that already sound more like Majima said it?

Then, add some more emotion to this sentence: “Y’always were the one fucker I could never getta read on.” It sounds affectionate or aggressive, depending on how you spin it. And there you go! We just Majima-modified (Majimodified?) a Kiryu line. With the power of slang and shortcuts, you too can turn regular dialogue into Majima classics.

Don’t be afraid to get silly with it.

Majima’s a silly guy, so of course he’s gonna have his silly moments. The RGG localization team knows this and takes creative liberties to give Majima’s dialogue more life. My favorite example of silliness in translating Majima’s lines to English is this specific line from Yakuza 2:

Majima says: “Doya, Kiryu-chan? Kakko ee yaro?” Which literally translates to something like: “How’s that, Kiryu-chan? I look cool, right?” This line is dripping with Kansai-ben.

But the localization team chose to translate it as “Whaddya think, Kiryu-chan? Ain’t I red-hot?” Which I love. It conveys so much more about Majima’s character in the same amount of words and even adds some more context from the scene itself. They make a pun on “red-hot,” and while “cool” would’ve worked too, this would have made less sense. The point is, don’t be afraid to get wild with it. If it sounds cooler, is probably is. 

Finally, here’s a few miscellaneous quirks of Majima-speak and pointers that can help you get that much closer to imitating Majima’s style of speech.

Majima rarely uses “you” pronouns, instead preferring to use nicknames and titles like Kiryu-chan, nee-chan, oyaji, etc. This can be substituted for girlie, kiddo, buddy, idiot, etc. 

Don’t replace all the “you”s and “your"s in a sentence with “ya”s and “yer”s. It gets difficult to read if you abuse them.

Majima loves to swear. But again, don’t use them too liberally or you’ll sound like a 12-year-old who just learned what “fuck” means.

Goromi’s speech is a bit more cutesy than Goro’s, but she flips between masculine and feminine pronouns. For the purposes of writing Goromi that’s not terribly important, but keep in mind that she’ll frequently switch between masculine and feminine speaking patterns.

Don’t try to imitate Southern American English (if you aren't familiar with that dialect). I also wouldn't try it in general, but if it helps, it helps.

Edited to add: it's ultimately up to you to decide when/if Majima drops his accent. Personally I reserve it for when he's so emotionally vulnerable he can't keep it up, or when he's being so serious about something he just won't use it.

As a bonus, here is a brief glossary of Kansai-isms that I’ve noticed Majima using, with some examples of their use in context and some suggested translations. Most of these examples are pulled from Yakuza Kiwami 1 and 2, since that’s when he has the most speaking lines and has fully settled into his Mad Dog persona.

Ahō (idiot) = dumbass, bonehead

“Nishida, ya dumbass!”

Beppin (pretty) = stunner, knockout

“Well ain’t ya a rare dish?”

Honma (really) = damn, for real

“For real?! Who are you and what have you done with Kiryu-chan?”

-han (-san)

“Well, now it’s your turn, Legendary Info Dealer-han.”

Akan (not good/must) = gotta be, better not

“That’s why he’s gotta be strong.”

Uchi* (I) = ol’ Goromi, li’l ol’ me

“Just don’t fall too hard for me, okay?”

Ee (good/cool) = badass

“Ain’t I red-hot?”

Ikude (let’s go) = let’s do this shit

“Let’s do this, Kiryu-chan!”

Suman (sorry) = my bad

“This is my bad, Kiryu-chan.”

Anta (you, polite) = ya

“Y’know, up close…you’re pretty damn hot.”

Haw (not really a Kansai-ism but he does like it a lot)

“Haw?”

Nanyatte (what) = what the fuck

“Say what?”

Chau (wrong) = bullshit

“That ain’t what I’m saying.”

Dondon (also not Kansai-ben but he likes this one too. Basically “loud noise”) = clobber, beat the shit outta ya, crack some skulls

“It’s way better if ya fight it out.”

*Uchi is a stereotypical feminine pronoun used in Kansai-ben. Only Goromi uses this one. She also tends to waffle between watashi/ore pronouns.

[spelllingandthemysteryschool]

hello! (this got longer than intended (sorry!), so feel free to ignore but the TLDR is you’re doing exactly what a 22 yo does and i hope this paragraph is at least a little reassuring) im a little older than you so i'll take this back to when i was also 22 and first, i felt (still feel 6 years later) (mostly) the same way (i feel a little more sure about myself now)! at 22 i had barely graduated uni with no prospects lined up (all my class/friends had already been offered full time positions or were doing post-grad programs, fulbright studies, etc), was tens of thousands in debt, and had no idea what i wanted to do (still don’t!). Eventually i got an unpaid short term internship at a local ngo where i met wonderful friends who helped me apply to this random position that paid pennies but at least it was something. It used nothing i studied in uni and i had to learn everything from scratch (literally the only skill transferred is computer literacy). the workplace was toxic af (like stress manifesting as physical symptoms kind of toxic) but i ended up with two best friends and i learned so much about what i dont want in a workplace and used that experience (with help from another coworker) to move to a different place where i do the same thing but in a better environment. It’s not an exciting job that i dreamed of (corporate 9-5 customer service type), but I’ve gotten good at it, i get benefits, and it’s a steady paycheck that allows me to cover necessities and occasionally the fun stuff and i focus on having a fulfilling life outside of work with hobbies and social activities. I have no idea where i plan to be a year or two from now but i got a concert next year so i know i’ll be there! i try to take it in small chunks bc things have been changing/happening so fast nowadays idk how to make plans. ty for reading

oh my goodness! thanks so much for taking the time to share all this. it’s nice to hear about the meandering path someone else’s career can take because usually you only hear about the position someone ends up at and none of the stops they made along the way. i’m sorry about your stressful work experiences but i’m glad you made good friends and i’m glad you’re somewhere that sustains u and allows for u to do what you truly care about in your free time! i hope things keep going well for you & i hope the concert is the absolute most fun ever hehe. thank you again!

[music-orthemisery]

I’m back with actual thoughts. They’re not coherent, more rambling, but they are thoughts, so here you go!

I’ve been in the fob fandom for a while. I got into them during the hiatus, was on the very outside of fandom during srr, and joined during abap. I kinda floated in and out. This is all to say I’ve seen p2’s post hiatus interactions in various forms for years. I’ve seen people’s different theories, from they are romantically involved, to best buds, to that they are just coworkers.

maybe it’s just recency bias, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen them so close or so fond of each other. They just seem to be so… loving towards each other??? Like it’s the french cabbage comment night every night. “I’ve been reduced to the words you’ve chosen for me” who says that??? “You look especially good tonight” “play us a song, love”. and patrick doesn’t roll his eyes, or make a face. what the fuck??? Like, whatever you want to theorize their relationship is, there’s so much love there.

HIIIII ANON!

i know not what you speak of - this is perfectly coherent to me!

first off, i don't think it's recency bias at all as i've been defining SMFS as the era where they stopped giving a fuck. i'd argue that not only p2, but also fob as a whole, are the most comfortable and having the most fun than any other time in their career. their collective presence now is SO at ease and joyful - it's truly been beautiful to witness.

more specifically to p2, i think covid really challenged them and had them come to terms with what really matters in life. there has been tangible love between them since the very beginning, but i think they are less concerned about public opinion now and more willing to show that love more explicitly.

the media circus of the 00s' - which was even more cruel and invasive than it is now (IMO) - nearly ripped fob, and p2, apart. looking at sources from back then can give you a picture of that. let me tell you, though - living through it? it was...rough to witness. i'd be shocked if any fan who was paying attention then was SURPRISED by the hiatus.

sad, yes. but surprised? no.

post-h fob was A LOT more careful with their boundaries - they were still themselves, but they were definitely more reserved, especially in how they interacted with each other. p2 were especially more careful and there was definitely a particular...narrative being pushed. they loosened up over time, but. there was a VIBE...

i think the pandemic really did punt them into - fuck it, why don't we just be/do what we want? why are we keeping ourselves in this box? as pete has said many times recently - life is short, so do everything.

(i'd also....be very curious about their label change. you don't just switch labels for funsies. just sayin.)

at the same time, i don't think that trauma from the 00s will ever leave them, so, at the end of the day, they WILL opt to be more private than not, and i don't think we ever will know the true depth of their relationship.

i will end by saying that i REALLY struggle with the "just coworkers/patrick just puts up with pete/patrick is annoyed by pete/patrick,joe,andy put up with pete for the paycheck/etc." narratives that i see float around. i could go on a whole rant on that alone, but i'll keep it focused to this -

if p2 don't actually have the deep relationship they say they do, why do they keep saying it? why is the term "soulmate" being used in 2024? why are they still pushing the narrative about this if it isn't true? they could've left that in the dust YEARS ago. their fame does NOT count on that. fans are often blinded by the fact that this is a HUGE band and the majority of people who make them successful know NOTHING about their band dynamics. they don't need to engage in this "fan service" to be successful at this point, and it's certainly nothing p2 would agree to now after what they went through pre-h.

anon, this is probably more than what you were looking for, but all i'm saying is that your thoughts here are TOTALLY valid and please send more <3

[sailforvalinor]

You know, I’ve said for a really long time that I dislike enemies-to-lovers, but I’ve realized this isn’t actually the case—I just dislike badly executed enemies-to-lovers. And, because this is possibly the most popular romance trope in YA (and most other literature, if we’re being honest), we’re seeing a lot of bad enemies-to-lovers right now.

I think what really irritates me about it most of the time is that authors want the "enemies-to-lovers" dynamic but don't really want to put in the work involved to make it convincing. Characters have to have some reason to hate each other to this degree, have to have some foundation for their relationship to stand on, but sometimes authors just want to skip to the witty banter in the ballroom or the intense rapier duel on the roof with underlying romantic tension without justifying to me why all this drama is happening in the first place.

Also, a lot of authors, especially in the YA fantasy genre, seem to default to "we are on opposite sides of a political conflict" or "you said something rude to me the first day we met" as a format to copy-and-paste their protagonists into and then leave it at that. And to be clear, there isn't anything wrong with these formats--plenty of good stories exist with these used as their basic structure! But it becomes a problem when you plug in a trope like this and assume it will do all the heavy lifting for you. It can easily come across as boring or lazy writing, just like with any poorly-employed cliche or trope.

However, cliches and tropes are not bad! The reason that an idea becomes a cliche or a trope is because it is so generally well-liked that authors are motivated to use it over and over again. These ideas naturally become cliches when they are used so much that the audience gets worn out on them, or it is used as a shortcut by less experienced authors to hide poor writing. But this does not mean you have to avoid any and all cliches at all times. One of the best skills to build as a writer is recognizing when you are using a cliche, and how you can best work that cliche to your advantage—giving the cliche a fun twist, adding layers and details (and-then-isms), subverting the cliche entirely, or just committing to the bit and writing the cliche straight as best as you possibly can.

All of this to say, here are a few variants, subversions, and fun employments of the enemies-to-lovers trope that I just personally think work really well:

Both people strongly and vocally dislike each other, but there deliberately doesn’t seem to be any logical reason as to why, at least to the audience—and it doesn’t really matter (Benedick and Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing. Also I realize that there is a line that suggests that they may have possibly been engaged at some point before the play, but I would argue that since we never find out why they fell out, and this is never brought up as a major plot point, it doesn’t really matter.)

Person A is a part of a group or regime that actively harmed Person B or someone close to them, but Person A was not actually directly involved—however, Person B still holds Person A responsible (Zutara, I still think Kataang is superior, but I won’t deny that this ship works. This one can be a bit cringy if played up too much or if it goes on for too long, but it works as a short-term stint)

Both people make snap judgements on the other’s character upon their first meeting—judgements that are incorrect—and go on to wrongly villainize each other’s character (Lizzie and Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, of course)

Person A did some grievous wrong to Person B in a past life, but one or neither of them remembers until they’re already in love (Reaper and Sunny from Goblin, I realize this is a little specific but my gosh does it slap and people should do it more often)

Similarly, Person A and Person B communicate via indirect means under aliases (i.e. letters, emails, chat rooms) and are falling in love, but hate each other in real life (You’ve Got Mail/She Loves Me)

Person A is sent to assassinate or otherwise harm Person B by the organization that they work for, but when Person B kills them with kindness it makes them spiral into a huge identity crisis (Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade from Star Wars Legends. I really need to do a complete breakdown of this ship sometime because it goes so much deeper than this, but there is way too much to talk about with them on this post—suffice it to say that they are very underrated and absolutely fantastic)

Classic enemies-to-lovers except it’s only one-sided—Person A hates Person B but Person B is absolutely clueless. I can’t think of a good example of this right now but I know I love it when I see it

Neither of them really actively dislikes each other, but they’ve gained such a reputation for their bickering that to admit that they might like each other would be too embarrassing and a blow to their public image (again, can’t think of an example but I know I’ve seen it done...I guess the latter half of Much Ado counts)

Classic enemies-to-lovers but instead of transitioning directly to lovers they become friends, leading into a enemies-to-friends-to-lovers pipeline—the best of both worlds! (Again, Luke and Mara. Also dare I say Raven and Beast Boy in Teen Titans kinda-sorta?)

[apollos-boyfriend]

psst you got any more creepypasta fic recs? 👀

i have quite a few!!

putting them all below the cut to save space, and i cannot stress enough that if you want to read most of these you Need to read all the tags. some of these are very light and sweet, others do not play about with the genre. i’ll be giving overall synopses + warnings (somewhat) but do read the tags for further details!!

in loco parentis by nymm_at_night is. well. you’ve all heard me praise it before. you say “more” so i assume you’ve already read it, but i legally can’t make a fic rec list without it. it centers around jeff, jack, and ben + tim/brian, and is where i’ve taken So much inspiration from. if any of you who like creepypasta have not read it yet please do. tim/brian (in a divorced way), all the chapters have their own disclaimers but the overall biggest overarching ones i can think of are semi-heavy descriptions of death and gore.

visual arts by killer_cat is a very good, short one shot! it centers around helen and jack and i absolutely love the author’s characterizations/interpretations of everyone. gen and mentions of blood/typically creepypasta-typical killings, but overall nothing too major

KISS ME WHEN YOU KILL ME by notaccessible is unfinished with only two chapters, but i really like where they’re going with things! they’ve retold both jeff and jack’s origins in pretty compelling ways. jeff/jack, but there’s no actual ship content as of yet. there are a few heavy scenes, largely dealing with abuse, murder, and suicide, largely in jeff’s chapter.

undone drawings by sleeplywritings (pancakebluess) is a very sweet, cute one-shot about sally and jeff. some of the formatting is wonky at times when it comes to the dialogue, but it’s not too bad, and overall understandable. plus the overall mansion dynamics are fun and silly (AND they’re normal about tim 🔥🔥). gen + no real warnings

water bearer (paint me red) by xfreesomebodyx is a one-shot centered around jeff and jack. it goes into extreme detail about jeff the killing people, so do tread carefully, but i REALLY enjoy their jeff characterization. i like it when authors latch onto his whole being beautiful bit. i’m ambivalent towards their jack at best, but GOD is jeff well-done in this. heads up so you don’t get confused like i did there IS a formatting error in it where a section seems to have been pasted twice (as of writing this). tagged as jeff/jack but there’s nothing explicitly romantic, largely just subtext/undertones.

a house full of serial killers VS the barbie movie starring margot robbie and ryan gosling by salty_sam is a one-shot chatfic but you guys know they’re my guilty pleasure so i can’t not add it. it’s largely just the author messing around with character dynamics and mansion relationships which is what i am here for always. tim and brian are off (brian especially) but everyone else is super fun and consistently entertaining. gen, no real warnings outside of mentioned drug use

handling rejection by sunsh1ne_sweethe4rt has wonky formatting BUT if you can get past it it’s just a cute one-shot, if not a little simplistic in terms of writing. it’s just about tim trying to help nina get over her crush on jeff. i’m a bit biased bc anything with tim written normally makes me instantly herald it like a miracle but i really just think it’s cute and funny :] gen (with the exception of nina’s crush on jeff) and no real warnings i can think of

déjà vu by nightstar1888 is a bit hit or miss for me due to their tim/masky characterization, but i REALLY enjoy the stuff they did with ben. it’s a one-shot about toby helping jeff dye his hair, nothing too special, but i like the parallels they drew between then two. it’s tagged as jeff/toby but nothing romantic really happens outside of a few lines of semi-flirting, no real warnings outside of mentions of toby + jeff’s backstories and all they entail

the collar incident by honeycirrus is. well i’m hesitant to fully recommend it. there are certain parts of it i really enjoy, especially with the dynamics between the mansion cast, but that’s pretty much it, and those are kind of few and far between. i’d recommend the first four chapters ish? they do some fun stuff with BEN that i might honestly steal for myself, but i spent way too long wondering if they actually meant BEN or didn’t get the 2020 lore update. ben/toby, one semi-intense self-mutilation scene.

[alwayslurkinginthebackground]

Meant to Happen - A "Kissing You" Drabble

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader Warnings: Mostly just fluff, brief mention of drug use, Santiago is kind of an asshole (sorry, Santi, I love you), mentions of mental illness, nothing too crazy on this one friends Word Count: 2k Prompt #68: A tender kiss on your lover's chest a/n: My schedule has been nothing short of pure insanity, and my brain is doing that thing tonight where I’m convinced I’m not good for anything, so here’s a Drabble I’ve had in edits for ages about Frankie feeling kind of the same way. Mostly it’s just exposition with a tiny bit of fluff but sometimes the brain writes what it wants to write.

Masterlist | Previous Drabble | Next Drabble

It was never really meant to happen. 

Frankie had been Santi’s best friend since their days in special ops, but you’d been friends with him even longer. As kids, you and Santi had raced around the block on your bikes, and as teenagers he’d taken you to every dance with the very clear stipulation that you were not dating. Not that you thought you were; things had never been like that with him, and up until several months ago, they hadn’t been that way with Frankie either. 

When Santiago returned from service, a whole handful of new friends came along with him, and you fit into their little group with ease. You knew they’d seen some shit, every one of them, but it was Santiago’s behavior upon their return that was the hardest to ignore. It was clear that where Benny found his focus in the ring and Frankie found his in little white lines on the kitchen table, Santiago liked to drown out his demons by focusing all his energy on one particular task. 

Finding you a date. 

It was all in good fun, although you’d punched him more than a few times after he’d texted you about meeting up only to never show, leaving you alone with some sleazeball he’d met at the gym. He’d introduce you to every eligible single at parties like you were on an episode of the Bachelorette, and he’d purposefully make sure that there weren’t enough seats in the living room at game night whenever he brought someone new for you to meet. You always sat in Benny’s lap instead, just to spite him. 

He had your best interests at heart, you knew that, so it didn’t bother you too much when it became an ongoing joke, one that was only encouraged by Will and Benny, who were quick to point out that they were single too. Tom usually took your side, coming to your defense when you reminded them that you weren’t really looking for anything. And Frankie…well, Frankie was usually quiet. He’d watch from the sidelines as Santi went on about how you’d never want to date the likes of them anyway. 

But then they left. All five of them, heading to South America for a mission that they didn’t want to talk about. You knew Santi was behind it, and that the others weren’t keen on going, but it was apparent that everything changed while they were gone. 

You only knew what happened in general terms - hard not to when Tom didn’t come home - but no one would tell you the full story. Santiago ignored your texts, and then he left for months without telling you where he was headed. Will and Benny came around to check on you, kept up with weekly get-togethers, but deflected whenever you asked how they were doing. 

Frankie was the only one to confide in you. You weren’t quite sure how the conversation started, but you do remember the way he let you pull him into your arms and the way he cried against your chest. His nose had been tucked into your neck, tears wetting the collar of the old t-shirt you wore that night as he finally purged the emotion pent up inside him. 

Later, when you settled him in your bed, you held him as he slept the whole night through, for what you suspected was the first time in months. It was like a switch flipped, and while you’d spent years telling yourself that Santiago was right, that Frankie wasn’t your type, you had to admit that it was much harder to deny your feelings once he was laying in your arms. 

What followed was a hurricane of secrets and stolen moments. You suspected that Benny figured it out after a couple of weeks, when you’d chosen Frankie’s lap over his at game night. Santiago hadn’t been there, still off in God knows where, and you’d naturally gravitated toward the man you tiptoed on calling your boyfriend. But if he did notice, Benny said nothing. Neither did Will. 

Frankie had practically moved in within the span of a few weeks, and you relished in the little life you were building together. Mornings filled with blueberry pancakes and quick kisses on the way out the door. Afternoon rendezvous in the cab of his truck that left you both on the brink of quitting your jobs, just so you could stay a bit longer. Evenings spent together, lounging on the couch as you introduce each other to your favorite shows and movies. All leading to late nights that felt too easy, even amongst the horrors you both struggled to cope with.

His struck often, and you had your own too, things from your past that you shared with him in the comfortable darkness of night, blankets wrapped tightly around you both. And as one night turned into another, and then into weeks, followed by months, you wound yourself tighter around each other until you were nearly inseparable. 

And then Santiago returned. 

For all the guilt and shame that weighed on the shoulders of Will, Benny, and Frankie, you were certain that Santiago felt it all and then some, but he acted as though the past eight months hadn’t happened. But you knew him, and you knew that the dark circles under his eyes, overgrown hair, and half-hazardly trimmed beard were all signs that he was still struggling to deal with the loss of one of his best friends. The rest of your boys had each other, had you, but he’d been dealing with it all on his own.

And you just had to go and make everything that much harder.

It took Santi all of five minutes to figure out what was going on. You thought you’d been subtle with your stolen glances, waiting for the right time to tell him, but he’d picked up on the way you easily maneuvered around one another in the kitchen, as though you’d done it hundreds of times. And he’d been right - you had. 

You’d discussed on occasion how you thought Santiago would react, and while Frankie had been hesitant, you’d been steadfast in your opinion that your friend would be happy for you both. Happy that Frankie was showing you exactly what it means to be loved, and happy for him that you were quieting his nightmares - the ones that came in the dead of night and the ones that haunted his waking hours too.

But as it turns out, Frankie was right to be skeptical.

Whatever insecurities Santiago was facing, they came out disguised as warnings about Frankie. Mostly things you knew already, about his drug use and the loss of his pilot’s license, failed relationships and Frankie’s lack of a secure financial situation. For every rebuttal, he had another argument lined up, and at some point, you’d stepped in between him and Frankie, certain that even if he lashed out at his friend, he’d never take a swing at you. 

But that didn’t stop your knuckle from making film contact with his jaw the second he told you that Frankie would never amount to anything. Frankie was pulling you back immediately, arms secure around your waist as Will pulled Santiago outside and forced him into his truck to drive him home. Benny quietly made his way to the kitchen to clean up so you wouldn’t have to, and Frankie followed him after encouraging you to retreat to your bedroom.

You’re wearing a hole in the floor when Frankie joins you a few minutes later. Your hand hurts, but anger is still coursing through your veins, so you barely feel it. In fact, you’re barely paying attention as your boyfriend slips through the door, slowly closing it behind him.

“I can’t believe him,” you shout as you pace away from Frankie, your feet carrying you toward the bed and then back toward the door. “Some best friend he is if he can’t even be happy for us.” You continue your routine. “He’s one to talk, after all, disappearing from the face of the Earth, leaving us all here without a clue as to where he is, or if he’s even alive, only to come back and pretend that he knows what’s best for us.” 

When you turn back toward Frankie again, you realize that he’s still standing at the door, his forehead resting against the wood, and your anger is quickly replaced with concern. 

“Hey, you okay?” you ask, the gentle whisper of your voice a stark contrast to just moments before. He flinches lightly when your hand runs up his back, and you instinctively pull away. “Frankie?” 

When he turns, you know he’s the furthest thing from okay. His eyes, which you now know to be so full of life and love, look cold and distant. He’s frowning, the creases in his skin more apparent than usual, and you itch to smooth them with your fingers. He reaches for you this time, and suddenly you’re in his arms, his body melting into your embrace. 

“I’m worried about him.” 

His voice seems small when he speaks, but you know that the depth of his emotion is anything but. Your brow furrows and you sigh, running a hand down his arm to tangle your fingers with his, pulling him toward the bed. Frankie follows without protest, allowing you to settle him between your legs so his body rests on top of yours, head tucked into your neck the same way it had been that first night. 

“He’s going to be okay,” you reassure him, although there’s a significant part of you that doubts your own words. He doesn’t respond, and you press kiss after kiss to his skin, whatever you can reach. When his tears start to dampen your shirt, his quiet sobs shaking his body, you only thank whatever gods might be out there that he trusts you enough to be this open. 

Time ticks by, the evidence of such reading on the clock next to the bed, but you pay it no mind. Your fingers have been locked in his hair for ages now, tangling in his curls and tugging in what you hope is a comforting motion. And it must be, because neither of you move until his breathing has evened out, the only remnants of his tears the occasional sniffle. 

“What if he’s right?” 

You barely hear his whisper, but anger flares in your chest nonetheless. You hate that Santiago did this. “He’s wrong,” you state firmly, hoping that he’ll believe you, even though you know he won’t. Not at first, at least. 

Frankie, predictably, shifts away, rolling off of you and to your side as he runs a hand over his face. “Everything Pope said is true, though.” 

Your body follows his, seeking out his warmth as you ease a leg over his thigh to tangle your limbs back together. 

“Like what? Tell me exactly what he said that’s true, because I don’t believe a word of it.” You accentuate your words by kissing away the remains of his fallen tears. 

It takes a bit for him to respond, but his thoughts are so loud you can nearly hear them. Still, you wait, and when he speaks his voice is quiet. “He said that this was never supposed to happen.” 

You know he’s referring to you, to whatever this between you might already be and what it might still become, and you make a mental note to kill Santiago later for putting doubt into Frankie’s mind. Doubt about himself, mostly, but also about you. 

You reassure him that you love him, because you do, and you’re pretty sure you always have. For every date that Santiago set you up on, for every new suitor he brought home, your happy ending had been there all long. And as you press a soft kiss to your lover’s chest, right above his heart, to prove to him that you’re here, you remind him of the one thing you’re more certain of than anything else. 

“That’s where he’s wrong. I think this was always supposed to happen.”

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[ghoul-bonez]

~Stars in Her Eyes, Stars in Her Heart~

Chapter 8: They Will Become Her’s as Well

(Kiri x Fem! Avatar! Reader)

Summary: Learning a new skill is always daunting, especially when you have no prior experiences to base it off of, but when you have a good teacher to help, things become a bit easier.

Word count: 1.1k

Author’s note: Fun little short chapter :) Enjoy!

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~Main Masterlist~

They Will Become Her’s as Well

Kiri dropped something in front of you which quickly broke you out of your thoughts, or lack of thoughts as you stared at nothing blankley, “Today you’re going to learn how to use a weapon, a bow to be exact.” She spoke.

“Damn, you scared the shit out of me!” You shouted, ignoring what Kiri had said.

“Oops.” Kiri shrugged her shoulders, and used her own bow to tap you on the head lightly, “Just pick up the bow, and don’t break it, I don't want to have to replace it.”

“Okay, maybe I’ll break it on purpose now.” You smiled at her mischievously. You picked up the bow, holding it awkwardly, not quite sure what to do with it.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Kiri challenged.

“You’re right, I would never do that to my pookie.” You smiled at her sarcastically.

“Pookie? What does that even mean?” Kiri asked, exasperated.

“It’s a term of endearment, I guess?” You said, questioning if that explanation was enough.

“Okay, whatever just follow me.” Kiri said, slinging her own bow over her head, the string laying against her chest while the wooden part rested on her back.

You followed her lead, carrying the bow Kiri had given you the same way Kiri was.

“Where are we going?” You questioned.

“We’re going back to the clearing where you learned to ride the pa’li. It’s nice and open so it should have enough room for you to move around if you need.” Kiri smiled, thinking about you falling off the pa’li. Hopefully this would be a bit easier for you.

The walk through the forest was peaceful, but thoughts swirled in your head, anxious thoughts coming to light. You had never been too worried about learning a new skill, but this seemed so daunting. You knew how to use a gun, so this couldn’t be too much different, right?

Much like you, Kiri was having doubts of her own. She had struggled to learn this herself, so she knew it was a hard skill to master. She wasn’t sure how good of a job she would do teaching you, but she was going to do her best.

Once you reached the clearing Kiri turned to you, asking a question, “Have you ever used a bow?” She already knew the answer to her question, but asked anyway.

You shook your head, “No, but I’ve used a gun, aiming can’t be too different right?”

Kiri sighed, this might be a little more complicated if that’s all you thought shooting a bow was about, “Aiming is just one small part of using a bow. First you have to be able to hold it correctly, then you have to know how to pull back the string, then you have to aim, and finally you have to let go at the perfect time to hit your target. It can get complicated, but I have faith in you.”

She thought back to what had told her to teach you how to use a bow, a few days ago the voice whispered, “Show her how to use your tools, and they will become hers as well.”

“Let me show you first, then you can try.” Kiri said, getting into stance and drawing back the string. She took a deep breath then let go of the string, the arrow hitting the target perfectly.

“Okay, I’ve got this!” You hyped yourself up.

You did not “got this”. In fact you were struggling quite a bit.

Holding the bow was weird on its own, but having to hold it and an arrow and pull back the string was a little too much going on all at once. Even when Kiri had made you practice without the arrow first you were struggling, and adding the arrow was just a whole new level of work.

Adapting to the forest was easy, you had always admired it and fit right in once you began trying, but this was different. This was learning a new skill completely, not building off of something you had previous knowledge about.

Kiri had been giving you gentle suggestions on what you could be doing better, and reminders of what she had told you before, but it just wasn’t working. As failure after failure happened Kiri was getting frustrated, and she could tell you were as well, so she decided to take a more hands on approach.

She approached you, who was holding the bow, string drawn back, about to shoot, “Draw your strength from your core.” Kiri moved her hand to your stomach, “From here.” She instructed.

Kiri continued to silently fix your stance, moving your arm up, fixing your grip on the bow, guiding your legs until they were correct, and as Kiri touched you, adjusting your stance and making sure your aim was straight, butterflies erupted in your stomach. Your heart felt like a star, hot and burning, but instead of hurting it brought a sense of warmth to your soul.

“Okay, let go now.” Kiri told you, watching excitedly.

When you let go the arrow shot out perfectly, hitting the target spot on. Bullseye. You let out an excited shout and jumped a few times, looking at Kiri who was laughing at your antics with a hand over her mouth.

Excitement and pride exploded inside of Kiri, shooting through her like shooting stars, bringing a light in the darkness, a success among the failures of earlier.

“That was good!” Kiri exclaimed.

“Yeah, but you did all the work. Now I have to figure out how to do that again.” You sighed dramatically.

Kiri smiled at you, fondness in her voice, “Don’t worry I’ll help you.”

“Okay, so let’s go over that again, and this time tell me what you’re changing.” You suggested. Kiri’s silent adjustments had helped, but you didn’t know what to change from the lack of audible directions.

Kiri just nodded her head, “Get ready to shoot then.” she instructed you.

You got into stance again, holding up the bow and pulling back the string, but this time as Kiri adjusted your body with gentle touches she told you what she was changing. Told you how to change it on your own, and eventually after many shots with Kiri’s help you were able to get one clear shot on your own.

After that you didn’t get another straight shot for the rest of the day, but you were content with that one success. That was enough for you.

Kiri felt pride at both you for your successful shot, and herself for successfully being able to teach you and help you get your clear shot. You had both succeeded, and now you were on your way to becoming a strong warrior.

Word Bank:

Pa’li (Direhorse)

[hypergamiss]

*Long Ask Incoming*

Do you know much about polyamory or Ethical Non Monogamous Relationships? I was introduced to it a while ago and have been thinking about it ever since. I dated a man who was married and his wife was in a relationship for over a year with another man. I really enjoyed it. I could go on dates with him and have fun and run up his credit card bill without the expectation of anything deeper ever happening between us. I didn’t even have sex with him. While she cooked, cleaned, took care of their kids and dated her boyfriend.

I think it’s the perfect dynamic for me. I don’t have the most supportive family or friends and men generally tend to take advantage of that once they realize I don’t have a lot of people in my corner. Because of past experiences, the idea of being in a relationship and married to one man will leave me extremely vulnerable and at risk, so that scares me. I don’t want to run the risk of marrying a man who thinks he has me trapped once we get married.

I’ve learned that this lifestyle is more common than most people think. There’s many couples doing it quietly (the couples who are loud and obnoxious about it tend to be messy and have high divorce rates). I’ve seen healthy long marriages with well adjusted children. I think this would be perfect for me because it will give me and my future long term partner flexibility and we won’t feel the resentment towards each other, once love and hormones fade away, like it does in every couple (every elder has advised that love is not enough to sustain a marriage long term because it’s just an emotion). He can have his women on the side who he messes around with, while taking care of my needs and providing the essentials for his family. My kids will get the financial benefits and have two parents that get along and like each other; these are my main priorities. Essentially our marriage would be the legal document that validates our partnership and dedication to our family.

One hesitation that I have about traditional marriage is that I’m expected to get all of my romance and love from ONE single person for the rest of my life and I don’t like that. That’s too much of a load to carry and I can’t imagine myself being interested in only one person for the rest of my life. Most people aren’t either, which is why cheating, be it physical or emotional are nearly unavoidable nowadays.

I can see myself being in short term relationships with 1 or 2 men every couple of years. We can go on dates and travel. I think the type of men who would be best suited for my side relationships would be the “I don’t believe in marriage types”. I see women in relationships with men like that and there’s nothing wrong with him except that he won’t marry them, but in our current social climate that gets him labeled as a “selfish man who wastes women’s time”. That would be the perfect guy for me. We could date without the expectation of marriage. If he finds someone else down the line and he leaves me, I won’t be an emotional wreck because he was just a fun little boyfriend.

I think giving this dynamic a label and making it clear at the beginning what the expectations are is ideal. Many married women are in one sided polyamorous relationships and they don’t even know it. So I might as well go into it intentionally.

I think it’s ok to admit that marriage isn’t for everyone. If you can’t see yourself with one person forever that’s completely fine. And if you find someone who wants to be in an open marriage with you then I’d suggest trying it out before having children. If it works for you after testing it out then so be it. We all have our preferences. One thing I will say is that men don’t really see themselves benefiting from an open marriage. The thrill of the secrecy of cheating is what drives them for whatever reason and taking that away doesn’t really do much for them. They are also self centered and possessive so even though they are cheating, they don’t like the fact that their woman is being sexual with another man. They also know that in an open marriage, a woman has much more options and pull than a man and their ego gets crushed by this. I suppose this is why many “open” marriages are not spoken about and more of a “look the other way” type of thing. Personally I’d prefer a monogamous arrangement because of the possibility of STD’s and such. I have no trouble committing to one person so as long as they can acknowledge and accept that we will be constantly evolving and choose to accept each other continuously. Obviously most people cheat but it’s just something that I’d rather have a lot to gain from (cheating clause) if that were to happen in my marriage. Aside from that, I do have plenty of men in my life that have been monogamous without an issue and I rather keep that standard. The women in my life know how to be the center of attention and always keep their men on their toes. You should never let a man think that you’re trapped or locked down after marriage. For us, the man’s chase never ends and they rather enjoy it. Even when there has been suspicions they’ve hired PI only to find out their partners were trying to surprise them with something special. These kinds of men do exist and I’d rather have that dynamic.

[grippingbeskar]

salt, ice and fire | frank castle

chapter twenty five - witness statement

frank castle x fem!reader

warnings: canon typical violence, swearing, mentions of death, torture all that fun stuff, tiny mention of franks family stuff and a small illusion to sexy times.

a/n: oh my goddddd this series is simultaneously the best and worst thing happening to me. this chapter was originally so short, but i added heaps to the end and now that extra part i wrote in like 20 minutes is one of my favourites. as always i love you bitches so much. i think there’s only one chapter left. maybe an epilogue because i don’t want to blue ball you all. i can’t. this note is already too long and i’ve made you wait long enough. bye bye for now!

[series masterlist] [previous chapter]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You know what a bad week is like.

Looking at your life in terms of numbers, something you used to try and do the first time you were locked up, you’ve had your fair share of them. It helped you count the days, keep track of how much time had passed. You’d look at it in weeks, seven days each— evaluating them, adding another scratch on the wall to keep count. A bad week would be lots of time drugged up, covered in blood, doing things you don’t think you can stomach to remember, and then passing out from exhaustion.

A good week to you used to be being left alone. Sleeping, getting food in a bowl and not slid across the floor. A warm day, one where you weren’t shivering to the point of pain. These past few weeks, though— they made you think that nearly every single week before this had been bad, because nothing could compare to this.

You could wake up whenever you wanted, a safety net of Frank Castle wrapped over and between you. You know he wakes up early, but he waits for you. Just sits there, holding you tight, waiting until whatever hour your eyes flutter open, just so you don’t have to wake up alone. When you finally regain consciousness out of the deepest sleeps of your life, you feel the warmth of the sun on your face. It streams in through the window, washing the room in a dull orange glow, and when you roll over it paints him in it too.

You allow yourself the freedom to indulge every instinct. He does, too. You spend hours there— wrapped in sheets, sometimes slow and searching, other times hard and rough, feeding parts of each other no one else seems to satisfy. He’s practically got you on lock, able to keep you on the edge for what feels like an eternity if he wants, but he always yields in the end. You learn him too, never looking away shyly, making sure he knows just how badly you want to look. You’d probably never leave that bed if you didn’t have to; happy to starve and fade away in his strong arms, the pleasure flooding your body far too tempting to be broken up by things as simple as food or water.

Eventually you get up, and you don’t care about the time. He cooks, and you watch. You try a few times, fucking up so many eggs that he has to go and buy more after one day. You settle on cleaning up if he makes sure the food is edible, and it’s sort of incredible how good he is at it. The smell of bacon quickly becomes a favourite, shaking off that final lull of sleep and post-sex haze.

You call your brother. A different phone every day, but you can hear his voice. He’s happy, safe, and making friends with the kids he’s staying with. You learn the mothers name— the one who was tortured by the Colonel— is Corinne. She talks to you, too. She is everything Sam needs, and tells you how well he’s doing. How much she cares for him, and how she owes you her children’s lives. Her husbands life.

You talk to the Doctor— who also has a name, Zaed. He is kind, and speaks softer than his wife. He tells you he will never be able to repay you and Frank for his life— but he already is. Keeping your brother safe is all you wanted, and he’s doing it.

Sam speaks broken Russian into the phone, with a horrible accent, but he’s learning. He sounds so happy there— a careless happiness you’d never be able to offer him if he was with you. He has to start school, and says he’s nervous, but he’s in the same grade as his best friend, Corinne and Zaed’s kid, Nikolai. You remember his face, how you thought for just a second that he was your brother when you and Frank broke into the sewerage system.

“They said the bus comes to my house and then drops me home! And, on Friday’s they serve pizza!” He told you, and you laugh at how he goes on to recite the rest of the school menu. You haven’t spoken to him since yesterday—his first day, but Corinne said he was so excited that when he came home he immediately fell asleep on the couch.

You can’t go out a whole lot, still playing it safe, but there’s no where you’d rather be. You and Frank spend your days like you had since you met each other— together. Even things you shouldn’t enjoy, like washing dishes or cleaning out the fridge that hadn’t been opened in three months feel good with him. You learn that he reads a lot, admittedly very slowly. You don’t understand how he can spend so much time in one book, absorbing every word and sentence like a sponge. You read how you watch movies— quickly, all at once, needing to know the ending right away.

You want to never leave this place. It seems he has that effect on you. Cementing you to wherever he is, just by hanging around. The trial sneaks up on you, and all the time in the world wouldn’t prepare you for it, but it comes anyways. Frank calls Matt the morning of, making sure everything is squared away. You talk to him too, spending three hours on speaker with him, planning for every possible defence and going over your statements to make sure he has everything he needs. The first few days are boring— long speeches against and for the states defense, along with a multitude of images from crime scenes. On about the fourth day, Matthew calls again, letting you know he’s presenting your evidence next.

Frank watches you like a hawk when it comes to the day, waiting for you to show some kind of sign to what your feeling, but you just sit in front of the TV, head in his lap, waiting for his face to pop up on the screen.

“The trial of the infamous crime boss Robert Gnucci is just minutes away from commencing its fifth and final day, and reports say the State have finalised their investigation and are ready to proceed. The lesser known firm Nelson & Murdock will also be providing statements today, representing an anonymous witness who corroborates the Gnucci’s ties to a multitude of assassinations, assaults, drug rings and extortion around the country. If so, this trial could be the end to New Yorks latest string of organised crime.” The presenter recites, and you close your eyes, focusing on the way Franks hand threads lightly through your hair. “We are now going live to the trial of the century, where lead FBI agent Dinah Madani’s representative Matthew Murdock will present the case against.”

“We don’t have to watch it.” Frank says, his hand still moving through your hair.

“Yeah, we do.”

“Why? Results will be the same at the end. Besides, the jury can take hours. Days.” You turn on your back, looking straight up at him.

“But this is the one that matters, right? This is my stuff— the things I said. I want to hear what the judge says. What… what people say about it.”

“About you.” He reads your mind, and you roll your eyes. “Fuck what they think.”

“Didn’t you care? When all this was happening to you— you didn’t care what people said about you?” He sighs, tugging on your shirt making you sit up. When you shuffle enough, he hooks his arms under you and pulls you into his lap, letting your head rest against his chest.

“This was different for me. I did what I did because I wanted to. I needed to… I needed them dead. It was a choice I made, and at the time nothing else mattered but killing them.” You keep looking at the TV, where Dinah is sitting on the stand, being sworn in. “I knew what people said, the shit they called me. I even read about myself— they put my face in all the papers. I couldn’t avoid it.”

“That didn’t eat at you?”

“I wasn’t in my head. Maybe if it was now, it might of stayed with me. But no, I didn’t give a fuck what people thought.” You nod, burying yourself closer to him. “You shouldn’t either. People will say all kinds of shit for the next few months, but it blows over. It always does. They’ll get some new Avenger, or another gang, and people won’t remember what they were so worried about. People don’t even recognise me anymore.”

“I know you’re right.” You turn your head straight to watch the TV again. “Still. I want to watch.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It goes for hours. Frank listens to Murdock talk for hours on end, so much that he thinks his ears will bleed next time he picks up the phone. There’s case after case, body and body. It’s almost never ending, but you watch the whole thing. Franks not sure if you even blink.

He expects some kind of reaction, seeing the photos of bodies and hearing what Bobby’s lawyers were saying about you. About what you did. Their whole angle was that you acted alone, and that you did what you did because you wanted to. Out of loyalty. It made him even more convinced he should of just killed him where he stood.

Then it’s Murdocks turn, and when it hits 2pm he’s still talking. Frank gets up and leaves you on the couch, figuring it’s been hours since you’d eaten something. He also isn’t sure he could sit and listen to anyone else talk about you like they know you. At least Murdock seemed like he was winning something.

“Frank! It’s over.” You call from the couch, and Frank abandons whatever he was about to make. “They said the jury’s going to decide.”

“Might be days from now. Come eat something.” He encourages.

When you finally drag yourself off the couch and come over to the table, Frank shoves a sandwich in your direction before answering the buzzing phone on the table.

“Yeah?” Your head perks up, eyes wide with hope when he hands the phone to you. “Corinne.”

He watches you talk, pacing up and down the small expanse of the kitchen. You ask about Sam, who’s at school, and he hears something about a soccer team he wants to join. You nearly cry, but hide it well in your voice. Corinne must start asking about the trial because you tell her you’ve been watching all day, but you haven’t heard anything. You look up at him when the call ends, and he can tell it’s not just today that hangs heavy on your shoulders.

“He okay?” Frank asks when you chuck the phone on the counter and run your hands through your hair.

“Amazing. apparently. Wants to play soccer.” You laugh dryly. “I’m such an asshole. I should be happy he’s happy, but all I can think of is how in a months time I’ll rip him away from whatever life he’s made up there.”

“He wants to be with you— where you are. He’ll be okay.”

“No. He… he wants to see me, but he doesn’t want to come back here.” Frank leans forward, dipping his head to look at you.

“He said that?”

“It’s more what he isn’t saying. He wants me to— us to come visit.” You sigh, and shake your head. “I’m not… I’m not his mother. I can’t take him away from that, from that safety net. He’s in school— making friends. He has a life there. A good one, one I didn’t think he’d get a shot at. And the longer I leave him there, the worse it will be when I take him away.”

“Kids are resilient.” Frank offers, and your shoulders slump.

“I don’t want him to have to be. He’s been through enough. I was worried he’d be all kinds of fucked up but he sounds so…happy. Would I really be doing the right thing if I took him back?” Frank has no idea what you’re trying to tell him, and the last thing he would do is tell you what to do with your own brother. Hell, he even likes the kid. “Corinne said… she said that she’d look after him.”

“What?” Frank moves around the table, reaching out for your hand.

“I don’t know how to raise a kid. I don’t even know if I can; but I know I want him to be happy. And safe. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. You know that’s all I wanted for him, right?”

“Of course. I know, and you got him out. He is.” He tucks you to his chest, moving to stand between your legs and hold you closer.

“Yeah, he is. He’s happy and safe and playing fucking soccer—“ You choke on a sob, and Franks hands fist in your hair. Like if he tries, he could pull you so close and take it all away. Fix it for you. “I can’t fuck this up for him. I can’t. He can’t come back here.”

“Shh. Shh, you’re okay.” He holds your face, thumbs gently swiping away your tears. “You’re okay.”

“She said he could stay.” Your voice is so small, Frank feels his chest crack at the sound. “Am I selfish if I let him? I… I don’t know how— I’m not his mom. I’m not. I can’t be my mom—“

“Hey. Look at me.” Your eyes are rimmed with tears, but you look. “You are not selfish, and you aren’t his mom.”

“I should act like it though, shouldn’t I? It’s my fault that he—“

“No, it isn’t. I would hate for my kids to of taken that shit on if I wasn’t there for them. You got him out, and kept him safe. All that shit you did? It was worth it. It was fucking worth it. He’s out. And you were always going to figure something out for him, because you’re not selfish.” Your eyes were shut, still blinking out tears. “I’m not gonna lie and say I wouldn’t love to have the kid here. He makes you happy, and he grew on me a little.”

“Really?” You open your eyes, eyebrows knitted together.

“Course he did. But raisin’ a kid— that is a full time gig, and it’s not one you signed up for. My life isn’t one I’d wish on anyone, and especially not for a kid like him.” He feels the wet stain of your tears on his hands, and he bends down to kiss them away. “Baby if you gotta go to him, I understand. My life won’t get less complicated. Yours could.”

“It won’t.” You say, voice strained and feather soft. “And I don’t want it to. If my life being complicated means you’re still in it, I wouldn’t change a thing. I know what I am now. Who I am. And I know I’m not what he needs.”

“You’re family. Nothin’ changes that.” Nodding, your bright red eyes stare up at him, and Frank knows his heart still works, that it’s still beating in his chest but when you look at him like that he swears it isn’t there for a second. “Whatever you choose, I’m with you.”

“Mhmm.” You say, and Frank thinks you’ll keep talking but instead you just kiss him, shutting yourself up. Franks happy to give you the distraction, calming your breathing by taking control, hands cupping your face with a newfound strength, anchoring you both to each other.

He thinks he could spend an eternity here— your mouth was addictive. Constantly surprising him, he could never pick how you would kiss him back. Sometimes it was messy and desperate, teeth and tongue fighting each other, and you’d match him with a strength only you could push him back with. Other times, like now, it was something more. Way more than he deserved, and more than he thought he was capable of giving someone. Full of something golden— something that turned his blood red hot and surging through his veins.

He knew what it was, but up until a few weeks ago he didn’t have the balls to admit it. He knew it was love, probably way earlier than he should of, but all that mattered was he knew it now, and he’d chase it to the ends of the god damn world if he had to.

Your phone buzzed on the table, and you pulled away, tears now dry on your face. Frank looked at it, seeing it wasn’t Murdock calling, but the other guy he worked with.

“Why’s Foggy calling?” You looked up at Frank after grabbing the phone, and Franks stomach dropped.

You answered the phone, listening intently, never taking your eyes off him.

“What are you saying?” You said after a while, sliding out from in front of Frank to start pacing around the table. “What?!”

“What’s he saying?” Frank follows after you but you wave him off, still trying to listen to the rambling on the other end of the line. Even Frank can hear how much he’s talking, even if he can’t decipher a word of it.

“I… okay. Thanks. Tell— yeah. Okay.” Your voice is small, and Frank stops your pacing with his hands, holding your shoulders as he pulls the phone from your ear. Your eyes are wide, staring up at him, showing nothing of what you just heard.

“Tell me what happened.” Frank says into the phone, his voice trained and hard.

“They… Frank, they found him not guilty. Bobby is free.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Stop stalling. Do your fucking job.” You hear Frank in the other room, probably yelling at Matt. You don’t have the heart or the energy to tell him to calm down, and you just try to tune it out to focus on your own phone call.

“You are still there?” Corinne says through the line, snapping your attention back to her.

“Yeah, sorry. What were you saying?” You try your best to keep your voice high, but she seems to read right through it.

“It’s okay. I didn’t know if I should call… I just wish there was something I could do for you.” You can tell why Sam likes her so much.

“Trust me, you are doing more than enough.” You shut the door as Frank starts to talk louder, wanting to distract yourself. “How is he?”

“He’s a little angel. I’m watching him right now, kicking around the ball in the backyard. Him and Nikolai never leave each others side.” If you close your eyes, you can nearly see it. “They’ve been good for each other. I didn’t think either of them would settle so quickly, given… well, you know. But, they seem to have bonded.”

“Hm.” She speaks with such warmth— an open heartedness that you think only comes with being a mother. “I’m glad.”

“You are welcome here anytime, you know. The police said you could come, if you needed to leave the city. We have had no problems, no questions— like nothing had ever happened.” Frank opens the door softly, poking his head in. “If you would feel safer here…”

“Thank you, Corinne. Really. I… I would love that, but I can’t leave Fr— here. I can’t leave everything like it is.” You think if you could see her, she would be giving you a knowing smile.

“Of course.”

“I thought about what you said.” Frank closes the door behind him, walking over to you and sliding his hands around your stomach. “About having Sam stay.”

“You don’t think about that right now. You have to sort out you— please. Don’t worry. He is safe, and happy. The future will come as it is meant to.” Franks head rests on your shoulder, warmth wrapping around you like a blanket. “I will call you later, yes? The boys are hungry and I am worried they’ll eat through my drywall if I don’t feed them.”

“I wouldn’t put it past them.” Laughing, you feel at least a small weight rise of your chest. “Thank you.”

“Take care of yourselves.” Before you can figure out how she knew Frank was listening, the phone goes dead.

“You done yelling at Matt?” You say, and Frank drags you onto the bed in one tug, the air leaving your lungs as he wraps you into him.

“No.” He grumbles behind your ear. “You alright?”

“No.” He doesn’t say anything, just holds you a little tighter. “Did Matt say—“

“Nothing. He said nothing. Nothing he can do about this.” You squeeze your eyes shut. “You should take her up on it.”

“What?”

“Go to Florida. See Sam.” You try to twist on his arms, but he doesn’t let you budge an inch. “Calm down. I’m not saying forever. But Murdock said—“

“You said he didn’t say anything.” He grumbles something again, words lost in the mess of your hair he’s buried himself in.

“Nothin’ useful. Said you wouldn’t be safe in New York, and if it was up to him, he’d get you out of here until he can appeal.”

“We talked about this. I want to be wherever you are. I can handle myself.”

“I know, baby. I know that. You don’t need a babysitter. Which is why you should go to Florida.”

This time, he lets you roll over, faces almost touching. His eyes are closed, and no matter how many times you’ve seen him this close you still find it just as intriguing. Like a marble statue, the urge to reach out and run your fingers over his skin is too tempting, brushing over the scars on his cheek.

“What will you do? Will you come with me?” He keeps his eyes closed, his jaw relaxing under your soft touches.

“Yeah. I’ll come when it’s done.” You furrow your eyebrows, and he opens his eyes like he senses it. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“When it’s done?” You know what he means. It’s exactly like him— to think he has to do this. To take this loss on his shoulders, to think that he needs to do it. To fix this. “Frank—“

“Stop.” He says softly, but his face is hard. “I never should of let this go. Should of finished it in Washington.”

“That wasn’t up to you, and it’s not now. Whatever you’re thinking of doing…”

“You know what I’m doing. I’m doing the one thing that we both know will end this. The one thing that I know works.” You swallow hard.

“You’re gonna kill him.” Frank doesn’t nod, but he watches your face for your reaction. “Why would I need to go to Florida?”

“You can’t be anywhere near here. If Madani finds out, and she will— you need an alibi that isn’t me.”

“You’ve actually thought this through.” He laughs dryly, then leans forward to kiss you quickly.

“Don’t look so surprised.” Frank’s hands run down your body, his eyes tracking, watching the way you shiver when his rough hands graze over skin. Finding your hips, he tugs you closer, and you swing your leg over his torso languidly. Hair falls in front of your face that he dutifully tucks behind your ears, thumb tracing your eyebrow. “Do this for me, and let me do this for you.”

Now he’s below you, your own hands drift to his shoulders. He holds your hips, thumbs rubbing circles onto places they’ve become so familiar with its nearly impossible to remember a time they didn’t belong to him. Like he’s etched himself there, shadows of his hands always waiting for him to come home.

“I’ll pack tomorrow.” You say, and he tugs you down, kissing you hungrily. You give— let him lead you like he does so well. You know what you’re residing to, what he’s going to do. It’s what he was doing before he found you, and what he’s probably going to do for the rest of his life.

He wants this, by the way he’s moving your hips and groaning into your mouth, the answer you gave him is the one he wants. It goes against what your logical mind is shouting at you— that he’s putting himself in danger for you, again. He groans again when your hands tug on his hair.

He wants this, you hear in your brain again. He wants this. He was who he was— you’d never change Frank, and you didn’t want to. He was a protector, a brick wall you’d put your shoulder out trying to break down. He was hard and stubborn, shattered and glued back together a million times over, and when he wanted something, he did everything he could to get it. He wanted this— to do this for you. Take care of you. It was a part of him that would probably get him killed, but it also happened to be a part you treasured with everything you had. The part that made you feel safe.

“Good girl.” He says lowly, voice vibrating through you. The words make you both smile, then he pulls you underneath him and you’re lost again, and nothing else matters.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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[klaineharmony]

.

Hello friends,

So . . . it’s been a LONG time since I’ve been here with any regularity. About a year. And that wasn’t intentional at first, and then life got so busy that I didn’t have much bandwidth for anything beyond my Twitter account. And I felt guilty.

I haven’t touched my stories in a year. I haven’t done anything fandom related, except for one of my scholarly projects, in a year. And I miss you all terribly, but life has been a lot as well.

The pandemic was a lot. I was starting to climb out of a tough bout of depression last summer, but it was slow.  And I’ve been having menstrual problems, among other things, which I know now are probably perimenopause related, but it has not been fun, to say the least. I had a D & C last fall to make sure there was nothing abnormal or precancerous (there wasn’t, very thankfully!), and it laid me out for a week. My grandmother died, just a few days before her (and my) birthday in November. She was my last remaining grandparent, and that’s been really hard as well. 

In January, I was on family medical leave helping my mother-in-law recover from surgery. I was teaching as well, as best I could long distance. I got home after five weeks and had to adjust to being in person all over again. And then April hit in the spring term and everything became a total blur. Spouse and I were both running constantly and totally exhausted. May wasn’t much better until school was over. 

And then I was at a conference in Boston, Spouse toured a house, we put in an offer and had it accepted, and the offer and acceptance were both while we were in Maine for our anniversary! Which was great in one way, but trying to do business in a place with very spotty cell coverage is its own sort of stress. We had been looking for over three years for a house we could move into with my mother-in-law, and this house just - appeared, and will really work for us. We’ve been cleared to close, but have no closing date, and we’ve been cleaning like mad and trying to declutter so that our realtor can take pictures and get our current house on the market.

The long and short of it is, I’ve been so busy and so tired that I’ve just been trying to get through. On top of everything else, I have two book projects right now, both of which I am trying to meet short-term deadlines on. Thank the Goddess, I had a sabbatical approved for next year (while still being a Diversity Officer half time), so I will actually have time to deal with final manuscripts and page proofs and marketing and all the rest of that.

But I miss you all. I miss my fandoms. I miss my stories (Goddess, I miss my stories.) I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long. I’d like to know what’s happening with you all, what you’re into now (besides Klaine, because we will all forever love Klaine). Talk to me, and know that I am sending lots of hugs into the ether, to all of you. <333

[josiebelladonna]

alright. kinktober prep is officially underway it looks like. after getting a major head start a couple of months ago, my nerves are completely frayed, but the stories will all be written and they’ll all queued up. all the pigs are all lined up, i give you all that you want, take the skin and peel it back-

i’m making this post to preface the event.

by the way, if you’re not into this and don’t wanna see the posts, please blacklist the “kinktober″ and “kinktober 2024” tags, as well as my personalized tag “antarkinktober”—this goes double if you’re under 18: it’s not my job to police you so heed the “mature” labels on all the stories. 

what is kinktober? definition from fanlore: “Kinktober is a multifandom prompt based challenge that encourages the creation of erotic fanworks, mostly fanfiction and fan art, that focus on specific kinks. Taking place during the month of October.” 31 days of smut at its bare bones—although, contrary to popular belief, kink actually need not be sexual.

what prompts are you using? my own, as well as a list from oops-all-kink. i’ve been planning this quite literally since may.

what does X prompt mean? i would recommend going to fetlife or urban dictionary to learn about kinks that sound unfamiliar (especially when Google is basically useless at this point and they feel a need to sanitize results, too)—fanlore also has a full glossary of fanfic terms that, even i’ve never heard of.

how long will they be? at this point, they’re ranging anywhere from 2-6k words: i like to set a stage and tell a story. it’s just more titillating to me, and i always feel like i’m shortchanging myself if i go below a thousand words. i’m not doing it bc i’m horny lol; i do it because… it’s just how i roll. it’s one of the many things that isolate me from the rest of the pack 😒

who are you including? i want to leave that as a little surprise~

why don’t you like the “x reader” trope? short answer: it’s literally every fic in existence right now and literally no one does it right. long answer: that, and what i write is very personal, like i’m writing in my diary. if i bring “you” or “y/n” into it, it removes the heart from it and it ends up looking like nothing. i want to stand out, i guess. and more often than not, it begs the question, “why not just make an original character? you obviously went out of your way to make it applicable to a male reader or a nonbinary reader, why not just make a character?” (it’s a cop out at this point, is what i’m saying)

what time are one shots going to be posted? i have posts scheduled from 9pm and 9:30pm pacific time starting september 30th (the installments of paradise will be posted throughout the day on september 29th, alex’s birthday), so i’d say be on the look out (and maybe turn on my post notifications?). on ao3, i’ll be posting them on the day of the prompt, probably in the morning after my workout (around 8-ish).

isn’t this a bit too much smut? depending on who you ask. my first time was in 2022 and it didn’t feel like too much. i tried it last year and i pulled the plug halfway through because it stopped being fun such that i wanted to kill myself. this year, i’m trying to redeem myself and going all out. some people like doing only a few prompts, like a couple every week.

why are so nervous? i just am. i’m not exaggerating when i say last year was so excruciating that i wanted to slit my own throat. i’m not a sex-positive person (but i’m not sex-negative, though), and just thinking about being sex positive makes me feel somewhat sick to my stomach. i have no confidence… like not at all, and i feel as though everyone just wants to be a dumb, lazy idiot and an antisemite for the rest of their lives. i’m not sexy, and i’m not this confident, voluptuous vixen just eager to share her fantasies with all of you. in fact, i fully expect to get a repeat of last year where everyone gets called hot and sexy and “the one to be” and “the best writer”… except me. i fully expect my kinks to met with utter disgust. there’s a great deal of pride in what i do (i’m portuguese, we’re a proud people), even though it doesn’t seem that way. but if i’m met with apathy, it’s painful, and last year, i was met with reams of apathy. i can get down with a negative remark despite the unspoken rule that you must never say anything negative about a fic to the author; but if no one cares or calls it “fine” or “okay” or whatever, i have my hand on the cable.

if you have any other questions, you may (or not) have noticed that i quietly reopened my ask box. 

please be patient with me when it comes to answering asks, or even posting. this has been the most emotionally trying year for me in 7 years, and anxiety is a real thing with me. depression is a real thing with me. i am scarred by shame and a broken heart. i’m an artist, i have been taking shit day in day out for the last 11, and more so in the last four years. so, i am literally trying my best.

please try and enjoy what i have waiting in the wings. it really does feel like everyone hates me, and this feeling has pervaded since around this time in 2020.

[eternalwritess]

Heya! I’m not sure if you still do matchups, but I thought I’d send one out in case :)

My name is Ace (which sounds like it should be short for something but weirdly enough it’s not) I go by he/they pronouns and am aromantic and asexual, and I’m on the side of the spectrum which would get married to spend more time with my best friend, (and for tax benefits ) I just don’t like physical contact in general to be honest. I don’t have a preference as to what gender I’d want a QPR with though.

I really like animating and animation, though I also am a music fan as well. Personality wise I’ve been told that I’m “crafty” which according to my friend is just a nicer way of saying that I’m a “[beeping] sketchy con-man” which is fair, though I prefer the term “seizing the opportunity.” I’d never hurt anyone, of course. I can be smart-ish (or so I’ve been told once or twice) though only on really specific topics. Basically whatever I’m interested on at the time.

I’m a little shorter than average height, have black jaw length hair, hazel eyes and wear glasses. I have dark almond-ish skin, though I do have very noticeable vitiligo. I have scars down one arm, and my other has been replaced with a prosthetic for maybe seven years now, though I don't always wear it.

Regarding aesthetics, I've always been a huge dream core/ weirdcore fan. I just love the aesthetic. I also really like kid core and vintage styles, which are polar opposites, but I just really love them.

As for other details about me, I speak English, French, Spanish, ASL (well I could, but my prosthetic isn't fully articulate, so now I can just understand it) and Latin (well not speaking, but writing and reading)

Have a great day :)

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙…

𝓡𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓮!

She most likely found you after someone found out you conned them and protected you

She took you to cannibal town and started asking you a few questions

"Well what are you in for darling?" "Are you doing well?" "He didn't hurt you did he?"

You decided to stay in cannibal town because you didn't have anywhere else to go and when you told Rosie this she insisted that you stay a while

When it comes to conning people its usually that she just brings you to deals with her so that you can help her get the best outcome over the other overlords

"What do you think?"

She's not a huge fun of the weird core but she absolutely adores your more vintage styles and loves coming up with new clothes for your to wear

She loves hearing you speak new languages even if she can't understand them

She tries to help and take care of your other arm since its now a prosthetic and will help repair it if needed

"Is that damn thing broken again?"

She loves seeing your drawings and loves watching your animate things and she will always praise your work on such

She also loves listening to music with you and will sometimes turn on a song just for you two to dance to nothing touchy touchy just small little dances if you like that

You two are very much in a qpr although Rosie doesn't really know what that means

Over all you both have a very sweet friendship :)