#cuz I still have this looming fucking memory reforming and making me
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#ok wtf wtf wtf brain is over loaded#I think#I think I love somebody what did this girl do to me she’s in so many of my thoughts#and also I can’t even attempt to process it#cuz I still have this looming fucking memory reforming and making me#want to slit my fucking wrists#why did I ever get involved with Hayley why did I let her take me apart and remake me#why did she want me to kill myself why was I so worthless#and why can’t I break free of it I’ve been worthless ever since then#I’ve been nothing but short term fun at best#even though my exs like stalk me and threaten to kill the selves sometimes cuz they want me back?#but they’re the same ones who threw me out like nothing I don’t give them a second thought#not giving them a second thought#did I repeat myself I’m still kinda high idk who cares#I’m so fixated on this girl I just want to fulfill her and break her and use her anytime I feel like we can just complete each other#I don’t care if we have no future as long as I have her#idk if she feels that way I’m so afraid she’ll see how worthless I am#and just go off to find somebody who can.. do things#how is this possible my brain has never processed these emotions I’ve been with so many girls how is this my first spark of love what is she#idk what she is but I want to be immersed in every facet of what makes her her#obsessed I just want to dedicate all my time to her#even as I’m just sitting here watching stuff I could be jamming my fingers in her or something#I want to constantly have her
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