#I’m trying to be brave and ‘advocate’ for myself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

biwritesfics · 2 years ago

Text

Constellations of us

Part 2: Leo

🛑 warnings 🛑

Death

War

Trauma

Grief

Toxic family

AN: This was written while I was sleep deprived I apologize. 1,926 words

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ

Hogwarts was beautiful even in the fog. The others were amused at my amazement but I didn't care. I was too busy soaking it all in. It was like a hazy dreamland and I couldn't take my eyes off of it. I was to call this stone fortress home for the next 111 days. We slowly pull to a stop and I nervously assess the line of first years that I'm sure I'm meant to join. We file out and I receive hugs from Marlene, Mary, and James. Plus smiles and well wishes from Sirius and Dorcas.

A house elf takes Bonbon with the luggage and I’m forced to stop stalling and join the 1st years. I stand behind a little boy with flaming red hair and freckles. “I'm Percival Weasley but everyone calls me Val, you're the new 5th year right,” he asks me as he shakes my hand excitedly. “That I am, I’m Arabella Canis,” I reply, smiling at the energetic little boy. “I’m definitely gonna be a Gryffindor my Da was one my brother Arthur was one and my brother Lance is one. How about you?”

I pause “I want Gryffindor but I think I’ll get Hufflepuff because of my Beauxbatons house but I’m trying for Gryffindor.” “Neat! What was your Bow-bat-uns house?” “Papillonlisse it’s similar to the word butterfly it’s for people who show kindness, maturity and enjoy socialization and the arts. It also tends to attract passionate people who believe the best for the world” “That does sound like Hufflepuff but my Mum always says your house is about what you value not who you are” He says trying to reassure me. “Thank you Val that’s very sweet.”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ

As we were talking the line moved forwards rather quickly. It seemed each child only took a few moments to be sorted. The hat was an interesting method but then again we shot exploding arrows across the hall. I still remember when mine burst releasing Purple smoke and butterflies. I cheer Val on as he walks up to be sorted. As a Weasley he was last alphabetically. I had been chosen to go last due to my age. It’s only three anxious heartbeats before the hat cry’s out “Gryffindor!” The section goes wild and someone shouts “We got the third Weasley!” as if they’re popular collectibles.

“I’d like to be in Gryffindor I feel as if they are my family already” “Ahh your going to be one of the one that argues aren’t you?” the hat asks disdainfully. “Not arguing just requesting, bravery doesn’t mean you have to be pushy” Hmm. still feeling Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. I suppose you are brave for asking and you’ve faced some rather nasty things I see” He goes silent for a long time only the occasional huff or grumble.

“What makes you think you can be a Gryffindor?” I pause and think wordlessly for a minute . “ I’m a Gryffindor because I’m petrified and lonely, yet I’m here advocating for myself. I live every day in spite off the massive things against me. I am kind, loyal, and smart, maybe a bit ambitious but that is not what I value most. I will not quarrel with you over it but if you place me in another house I will not be content.”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ

“Better be Gryffindor!!” “Thankyou” I whisper quickly before running to join Mary and the others. There’s lots of cheering and hugs but it dies down eventually. “You were quite the hatstall,” Mary exclaims. “Yeah you beat Pete and he took four minutes,” James says nudging the mousy blond boy next to him. “How long did I take? “Seven minutes, it’s probably a record” remarks Remus checking his watch

“Is that a bad thing?” I ask as the infamous Hogwarts feast materializes in front of us. It’s even better than the descriptions I’ve heard. We begin filling our plates and Lily answers my question. “No it’s just rare, Professor McGonogall was a hat stall and she’s an excellent witch.” I mostly listen to the others talk, occasionally passing a dish or serving it.

James eats more mashed potatoes and gravy than any living being I’ve ever encountered. I’m savoring the roast. It's seasoned with rosemary or something of the sort. Remus has a bit of everything, somehow managing to keep each food item from touching. Lily’s plate is perfectly balanced, and Marlene has her plate split in half one hers and the other Dorcas’s. Mary’s is strictly veg while Sirius is relishing in every fried food he can grab. I guess the noble house of black didn't approve of fish and chips. Alice, a sweet girl who the others already know, has each savory item paired with a sweet one.

Peter mixes everything together in a way that's slightly nauseating but I'm happily distracted by dessert or pudding as they called it. I take a page out of Remus’s book and grab small portions from a variety. Mary explains the sweets I don't recognize. I end up with an assortment of biscuits and a bit of jelly roll. I savor every bite but I find myself eyeing the chocolate trifle. “It's nice you should try it,” Remus says motioning his spoon from me to the trifle he's currently eating.

I cave and grab one. It was futile to fight my desire for chocolate. I take the first bite and groan “Merlin that's good” Remus smiles or rather smirks victoriously. Sirius starts coughing and James smacks him on the back. “Juice go down the wrong pipe mate?” Sirius just nods in response. He wheeze's a bit more but seems okay. “Students, silence please!” Professor McGonagall calls out. The room quiets quicker than I thought possible.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ

A white haired man in red robes approaches the podium. Dumbledore, I recognize the well known wizard and headmaster. “Greetings Students, I am pleased to lead hogwarts into its 1975-76 school year. We are all aware of the current unrest in our community.” My heart clenched I had been following the news of the violence even in France. My father had moved me into a war zone.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ

“I do not believe in protecting students from truths that pertain to them . Outside these walls Muggles, Muggleborns, and other magical species are being targeted by Voldemort and his so called death eaters” I would not be surprised if my father admired the man. We had always disagreed in politics. If he wanted me to hate muggles and other “lower creatures” he should have raised me himself instead of leaving it to the houselves.

“Within these walls there will be zero tolerance for acts of hatred and dark magic. Anyone caught committing these atrocities will be severely punished and in some cases expelled.” He gives a pointed look to the far left table where the slytherins reside. Lily has been gripping me tight since the beginning of the speach. She had mentioned she was a muggleborn. She had nothing to worry about. If anyone wanted to harm her they would have to go through me along with pretty much everyone at this table, and that was based on first impressions alone.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ

“I would like to list the names of a few victims that have hit us close to home, if the family of the lost would stand “ Timothy Longbottom” A brunette boy the next table over stands up looking solemn. “Ernest and Miriam Bones” Three students stand in the Hufflepuff section An older boy and two younger girls. The youngest girl is crying. “ “Marcus Shacklebolt” A ravenclaw boy stands. “Donnovan Corcoran” An older and younger woman stand at the teacher’s table.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ

“Our hearts go out to each and every one of you and we assure you that you are safe and welcome here at hogwarts” The families of the victims sit again. “The school year will continue on as normal. Quidditch tryouts are tomorrow at 7:30. See your team leaders if you have questions. That would be James Potter for Gryffindor, they are in need of a chaser. Amos Diggory for Hufflepuff they need a keeper and two beaters. Kingsley Shacklebolt for Ravenclaw they are in need of a seeker. Alexander Wilkes for Slytherin they need a seeker and a beater.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ

Schedule changes will only be allowed within the first month of the term so please do make up your minds until then. Third through seventh years, the first hogsmeade trip will be on the fourteenth. Harris has asked me to remind you that the Dark Forrest is off limits to all students. I would also like to remind students that unauthorized use of the potions lab is strictly prohibited. We don’t want a repeat of last year. James, Sirius, and Peter go crimson and Remus stifles a laugh.

Professor Marzana is holding a self defense club to meet at two o’clock on Saturdays. Please see her if you are interested. Lastly two reminders There will be no spellcasting in the hallways and curfew is from 9pm to 6am. During that time you are restricted to your dorms and common rooms. That is all I hope that each and every one of you have a wonderful start to the term. There’s a small round of applause before the first years are released to the dorms.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ

We linger at the table the mood dampened by the sad news. “The Bones were so terribly sweet, do you think Edgar has guardianship of Amelia and Becca?” Mary asks her voice concerned “Yes he does my mum and Peter’s have been sending meals all August.” James replies. “I won’t be able to look at my family knowing one of them probably had a hand in it. Andy and I seem to be the only sane ones.” Sirius says. I can’t tell if he’s more angry or sad. “

I think half the reason my Father moved us here is to join up.” I whisper Sirius gives me a knowing and sympathetic look. “Im worried for my parents the death toll for muggles is in the thousands at this point, they just don’t connect them. I can’t help but worry that I’ll get an owl from Tuney telling me that they’re dead.” Lily laments. My parent and my brothers are vocal about their disapproval. My brother Angus and his wife Elspeth have been receiving requests to join. They just keep ignoring them but..” her voice falters but we all know what she means.

“My Aunt was killed in a muggle attack nearly a year ago but my Mother still hardly leaves her room.” Alice admits choking up a bit. “My mother thinks they’re going to kill my father. She has nightmares every night. She doesn’t think we hear but we do. Tina slept in my bed all summer.A five year old shouldn’t have to worry about stuff like that. Dorcas’s affection for her little sister is clear. We shouldn’t have to worry about stuff like this either.” Remus says softy.

4 notes · View notes

aafrillia · 4 months ago

Text

DAY 1: DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY

Do you think when describing one’s personality, it should be someone else’s job who seems to know that person?

It can be true, but now I’d like to describe my personality on my own as I believe that we have to know ourselves better, so this is the way I’m learning about myself.

When talking about personality, we think of the way someone behaves around people. But I think it can be more because I know for sure that personality is to be made. I don’t mean we’re faking, but it’s more like we act differently depending on the situation we’re in or people we talk with.

In that case, I’d like to describe myself based on the MBTI test and questions as references.

Let’s start with the MBTI test result I just got. It’s said that my personality type is INFJ-T (Advocate), which is not so surprising because I almost always get the same result every time I take the test. Never start with E, because I am a certified introvert.

The results describe my personality in several categories, but I will focus on the personality traits only. I’m well aware that I’m an introvert, but to get into details of my personality thoroughly is still quite daunting. I believe the traits and numbers are kind of different from my previous MBTI test result, so it’s surprising that this one feels more accurate than the last.

Energy: No doubt that I prefer keeping my circle small and meaningful rather than having a big group of friends, given how easily social interaction can drain my energy.

Mind: To say that I’m intuitive can be an overstatement, but I want to confidently proclaim I’m an open-minded person; I’m not afraid of having uncomfortable conversations.

Nature: Being sensitive is not really pleasant because you often prioritize someone else’s feelings first over yours, but I guess that is part of me that I should be proud of.

Tactics: I can’t say I’m a 100% organized person, but I definitely value structured planning over spontaneity. Though sometimes I can be spontaneous too.

Identity: I’m all that in the description; self-conscious, sensitive to stress, success-driven, perfectionistic, and eager to improve.

I believe the result doesn’t show the whole picture of my personality, which I think doesn’t represent me the best. So let’s try to ask some deep personal questions for myself.

I will choose several questions that I think can describe me well as a person.

What’s the one thing you would like to change about yourself? I would like to be more comfortable about myself, be more confident, and be more humble. Ah! I wanna change my spending habits too, LMAO.

What kind of parent do you think you will be? To put this question here may be irrelevant, but me now and me in the future as a parent wouldn’t be as far. I wish I could be a loving parent who provides and nurtures my children in the best way possible; becoming their best example of being a decent human and doing things properly, so as to give them a decent environment to live and grow.

Are you confrontational? I am not brave enough to confront someone first because I am worried of offending that person.

What would your best friend say is your best quality? Probably ‘understanding’.

What or who would you sacrifice your life for? My family, especially Ibu and Ayah.

What do you hope you grow out of? I hope I can grow out of taking things personally and overly self-critical.

What brings you the most joy in life? Little things such as moving my body along with the music, listening to music I’m currently obsessed with, watching cats, crocheting, spending time with my family, helping others though it may be small, seeing my students do well in their classes bring me joy in life.

When was the last time you really panicked? It’s when my mother had her first seizure. I’ve never been scared in my whole life, but when I saw my mother lose control of her body, it was terrifying. Thank God, my mother is getting better now. I hope it never happens again. Aamiin.

Do you lose your temper easily? I don’t think so, but sometimes when I am in a low mood or PMS, I will probably snap, LMAO. It’s not often, okay? Compared to my teenage years, I’ve become much better at managing my temper now in my adult life. Rather than getting angry, I choose to step away and be alone to manage my emotions (re: cry myself to sleep).

What qualities do you admire in others? Honesty and humility.

I hope through these questions, they can show and describe my personality better.

0 notes

gaslighing · 8 months ago

Text

“The alert ones like me who have lots of energy and strength, stamina, emotional wellness, intellectual, banners, background, history, and have been studying their own psychology for years okay and healing themselves from trauma putting in that work. I know I am delusional and having a psychosis. I’ve managed to though cope with the psychosis on my own through my imaginary characters. Okay because no one is there. Whenever I need them. Family. Nobody. Just me in my house. Terrified at the world going to end. So I step into my hero, brave roles/personas cause I don’t see nobody else doing it, and I continue my work. Which is making my videos entertaining content for people. Real people have real concerns who are awake. Who don’t try to Gaslight their friends who they just met 3 or 4 weeks ago at work. Stop with the gaslighting tactics to try and get strong women to be needy if you . Okay? I don’t care if you don’t believe me and my warnings . It’s like you don’t even acknowledge the social injustices that I address which is ridiculously pretty obvious. You don’t have to be an expert conspiracy theorist to understand who is responsible for the problems in our society. Domestic violence mental health drug alcohol addiction child protection agencies family court all of it! Families are falling apart because of the system! And I’ve had enough! So I’ll just continue to advocate for the families of my community. Okay and the institutions that victimise me , myself and others in my community. I’m being brave basically like a soldier in war soldiers , soldiers don’t sleep they’re out on alert .There’s a reason for us we’re trying to protect everybody. From the dangers that the people don’t even see. And yeah that’s frightening at times and we are going to panic and think the world it’s going to end. We need reassurance sometimes. Do you know what? You’s weren’t there when you requested. So I understand everyone’s busy. But when you flake out 2×3 times kind of like obvious that you’re playing fucking games. I don’t need to depend on anyone to take care of me. I got this and taking care of other shit too! So thank you, but no thank you. I’m on to you. It’s a shame I have to avoid my other channel now just to stop your text messages about your “care and concern.” Mate I told you what my delusions and psychosis are. Okay I told you how I was. I showed you my content. I’m not asking you to recruit you to join me in the battle! I fucking should! You should be stepping up to it with me. But no, so I accept these friends of mine that “care” so much. about me and your texts but not in the action and aren’t actually there for me. Thanks because it makes me stronger. I’ve got to get ready to go now. I’m gonna go and meet up with my real friends who actually care and see me and hang out with me and are good. And actually accept me for me because like you “care,” you don’t understand the principles of care because you’re not caring from the heart. When you care from the heart, you accept me on my zany ways and not try to change me. And when I make a decision to not go to work and go and see a doctor and go and do my own shit I don’t need you saying to me I think you should come to work. Who the hell are you!? I decide what I do. I decide if I go to see the doctor I decide if I go to work or not, I decide. I know myself in my own mental health. Thanks.

End of part 2 of this blog.

#spiritual awakening #psychosis #kundalini #bipolar disorder #the matrix #empoweredwomen #gaslighting

0 notes

benefits1986 · 2 years ago

Text

Juno Throwback: Invictus Era

Am I really the master of my fate? Am I really the captain of my soul? But, wait.. what is the meaning of fate and soul?

Sunday is balmy and this is how I like it. Today’s gospel is from a 56-year old guy. It’s nice to get dad on the boat as well, because nakakatawa ang mga insights niya as a boomer bombing. Dad said na paulit-ulit daw ba talagang kailangang magkamali? ‘Di na natuto talaga? To which is replied na tama ka naman diyan, pero iba generation namin. Kayo as is. Go with the flow. Kayo, safe and comfort zone ang gaming. Kami, iba. That doesn’t mean we’re better than you nor your generation is better than us. Iba lang talaga ngayon, dad. While I’d rather put these early morning stuff right in my ear, in the comforts of my noise-cancelling cheap-o but trusty wireless earpods, I am trying my best to do an inception sa tatay ko na: GIGO (garbage in, garbage out). Dad is in his sunset season, but tulad nga ng naipangako sa nanay ko, I will try my best to look after dad in the name of a happy, healthy and well-spent old age. LUH. Ayan. Manipulation na naman ni mother dragon done sooooo well; but, it’s also a way of pagbawi sa lost years namin ng tatay ko. HAHAHAHA. Maiba naman. These days, medyo nakukuha na ni dad na Netflix is not just about action movies. May mga content din na mapapaisip ka, mauusog ka. And hopefully, allow you to do something beyond your usual stuff. Unti-unti. During Rich Roll’s second rock bottom, dad said out loud na ULOL. Baka pagkatapos ng podcast, i-meet niya ulit mga dealers. Sabi ko naman, ganun talaga. Quitters never quit. They just choose to quit. Saka baka good deal naman din talaga kaya one sundot is fine. The creator should be separated from the content.

The soul. The fate. Invictus is one of the literary pieces that I’ve been going back to when I’m hanging by a moment. So, marami-rami ‘yun. This is where I convince myself that while my shoulders are frail and fucked up, the weight that I am carrying and bound to carry is something I can wing. Kahit parang madalas, ayoko na talaga sa life. Kahit madalas, wala talaga akong pake. Kahit madalas, ang default ko is wala namang ibang gagawa, so no choice. Gotta rewatch Invictus pala so I have better reference especially in the coming weeks and months. Also, isama mo na rin diyan ‘yung countdown to 2024. Lakas-makahatak ng VO ni Morgan Freeman, always. :D What is the soul? For me, the soul is what you are when no one is watching. The soul is the devil’s advocate. The good faith amidst a world where bad faith thrives. In fact, the soul is not about saving you from the evil side of life. The soul is your salvation as you walk the earth. The soul may be compared to your aura, your light. It’s something that’s deep within and at the same time, it’s what you give back to the world. What is the fate? For me, the fate is when your soul aligns with the universe. Yes, you may have a grand plan, a bulletproof game; but the fate is when you are able to brave the dark nights, the violent seas, the ground that’s shaking. Though I truly believe in The Three Fates and how they manage each person who lives and dies, the thing is we’re still pretty much on our own as to how we make meaning of our nothingness. Ang agaaaaa, mhie. Ang agaaaaa na naman pero I have a good number of things to do kaya, let’s do this naaaa. I will try my best to do stretching, breathing and maybe swimming? Kaso ayoko sa pool. UGH. Paano ba ito? Also, curating easy but proven exercises that can be done without kettle bells and the works. Will share once may body na which is this long weekend. Sana bukas para masimulan na rin. Nothing fancy but with FULL intent. PS: Sana lang ‘wag maging isa na namang statistic itong si Rich Roll. Fittest man on the planet na napatiran ng ugat or something. Sana talaga.

youtube

0 notes

humansun · 2 years ago

Text

How to be brave

Written May 31st, 2023 at 7:33AM

Isn’t it funny how we set our intentions in the early morning and witness ourselves do the complete opposite?

This morning, I went to the gym with two friends from high school and a million thoughts ran through my head as comments were made. My friend made corrections on my form and expressed judgement when I wanted to work out the same muscle. I like to leave my water bottle behind sometimes. To them, that seems to be weird.

My immediate feelings were hurt and frustration. I was sad, knowing that my friend doesn’t express these sentiments in the way she did if the other friend wasn’t around. In addition, I felt as though I was the person to bully and pick on today.

It’s really hard to feel like growing up, I’ve always been taken less seriously than others. I wonder, is it the way I carry myself? How I don’t set boundaries with other people? That I don’t act sophisticated? And I want to change myself in order to be treated that way. But no, most of the time everyone asks me not to change.

How can I not change when I am constantly treated with less respect? Am I taking this and blowing it up? Are other people viewing my emotions as a burden? Why don’t people ask me if I’m okay?

Feeling like the laughing stock sucks. Like really. It feels like you’re the one to be picked on because you don’t know any better. That you are doing things wrong and they’re doing things right. That sucks, because there are many ways people can do things and who are you to judge me.

Is it because I made her feel that way before? Is that why she’s coming back at me? And truthfully, I don’t feel safe bringing it up, because then I’d feel like they’d be defensive. Why can’t I advocate for myself? Why can’t I stand up for myself and say, “that’s not weird, people just do things differently”?

It’s painful to be the person to laugh at. At the end of the day, I’m certain they’re just worried about me, or care about me, because they definitely have no malice, but it still hurts to feel put down and feel like you don’t know any better.

There are a lot of things I’m reflecting on, and it’s difficult to use my awareness to convince myself of the truth. I think what I am feeling is an overflow of emotions, that everything logical does not process well in my mind. Logically, they are not people who want to hurt me, maybe their comments are what they know as communication. So I should understand and empathize with them.

For me though, it’s hard to even see into that and understand. I’m too busy trying to sort out why I feel so unbalanced and unfulfilled right now. To the point where it’s affecting my day negatively. My automatic reflex is saying to stop going to the gym with them and distance myself, so that I don’t have to experience that again.

Whereas, the other part of myself says to keep going and set my boundaries. If it happens again in the future, what will I say? I will stand up for myself since no one else will. I will say that there isn’t anything wrong with what I am doing, because it hurts me when you say that.

Why do people think it’s okay to talk to others like that? Like “shouldn’t you already know this?” energy. I hate that. I try not to make people feel like that, ever. Because I know that when people treat me like that it feels like shit.

I hate when people don’t take me seriously, which is why I have a whole act that I put up during work just so people can respect me. But the thing is, there should be people in my life who respect regardless of how silly I am. They don’t take me for granted and they value me. I feel disrespected, sad, and judged.

It’s so easy to make me the laughing stock. I hate being bullied. So much.

Written 9:31AM

I addressed my feelings to my friend, because it’s that age where going to someone else to vent is pointless.

I’m grateful that I could and I’m happy I took the time to write this morning. It helped me settle into my emotions and calm down a bit.

Moving forward for today, there’s quite a bit to do but it will get done.

P.S. Fuzzy mentioned yesterday night before I slept how time gets faster the longer we live and it makes me feel quite sad about existing. But that's okay! Onwards we will go.

0 notes

galactic-marvelettes · 1 year ago

Text

@backtothefanfiction

Ho boy, buckle up! Because I have A LOT to say:

It sucks to have to watch all of this unfold. I get that Disney fans are upset with Rachel’s comments, I really do. Because I grew up idolizing the princesses and I spent my teen and early young adult years watching many self-proclaimed feminists say that they shouldn’t be looked up. To me, it made me feel like what I loved wasn’t valid or acceptable if I wanted call myself a feminist. They labeled the princesses as “weak” and “passive” – especially Snow White. They made the usual arguments: “Ariel gave her voice up for a man”; “All Cinderella did was wait around for a prince.” It was like they missed the entire point of these movies, most of which featured all of these wonderful, incredibly brave, and remarkable women who had their own identities, agency, ambitions, and dreams; they overcame adversities and found love and happiness and peace. For years, I struggled to reconcile my feelings as a budding feminist and the love I had for the princesses. It wasn’t until I discovered the “Disney Adult” community that I realized that I didn’t need to choose. That I could have both, and that loving and admiring the Disney princesses doesn’t make me less.

But now I’m watching this community that I found solace in, misinterpreting Rachel’s comments and / or straight up tearing her apart on social media. And many of them don’t seem to realize that the person they’re supposedly confronting is a 22 year old girl who is carrying the weight of playing the princess that essentially laid the foundation of the world’s most renowned animation studio on her shoulders. It sucks because when I try to tell them this, they don’t care to listen. Just last night, I had someone dismiss me entirely, not caring to listen. In her take, she said that Rachel “fucked up the movie” for her and that she would not be seeing it. And she’s also a Disney content creator that I admired and occasionally enjoyed talking to.

If people would just take a step back and take the time to watch the whole video – which by the way is from an entire year ago; why social media is suddenly choosing to dissect it now I don’t know, I guess the gremlins were bored 🤷🏻‍♀️ – Rachel never said anything that belittled Snow White’s having a romantic interest. She just stated that Snow White would prioritize becoming a “leader” to her kingdom over having a romantic interest. And what’s wrong with that? There have been plenty of Disney films in the past in which the girl either a) dreams of true love / is saved by her prince, b) is the hero of her own story and doesn’t prioritize love or c) is the hero of her own story AND gets the prince. So what does it matter that this iteration of Snow White won’t prioritize finding a romantic partner? (Although it seems like she will have a romantic interest?? But that’s just speculation, so don’t quote me). Especially when feminism allows for both and advocates for women to have choices and not be judged for having those choices.

I *do*, however, find it a little weird that out all of things that could have been said to tease this film they went with the old “she’s not gonna be saved the prince” line especially when you remember that Snow White’s prince isn’t a major presence in her story. I think he appears for a total of 5 minutes in the entire film; once at the beginning and once at the end. And also he’s the one that goes searching for Snow White after he falls in love with her. Her marrying the prince and living happily ever after with him is only one part of Snow White’s story. A story that sees her escape an abusive situation and an assassination attempt at the hands of her stepmother and after which she continues to see the good in others and inspires kindness, love, and hope to her friends, human and animals. This story of overcoming adversity and making the best of an awful situation resonated a lot with audiences in 1937, when America was in the midst of the Great Depression.

That being said, I’m not surprised that Disney opted to take a more “modern” approach when remaking this film. Because as Rachel said in the video “it’s no longer 1937” and 2023 audiences aren’t going to see the girl overcoming adversity. They’re going to see the “weak” and “passive” girl doing the cooking and cleaning for the seven little men she lives with. They’re going to see the “fucking backwards story about seven dwarfs living in a cave together” (They lived in a cottage, but go off I guess?). They’re going to see a woman trying to poison her stepdaughter simply because a magic mirror told her that the stepdaughter was prettier than her. They’re going to see the aforementioned “weak” girl get kissed without her consent by a man she barely knows while unconscious.

Disney saw the criticism for years, they have responded, and this is how they have decided to portray Snow White. Much like the original film reflected the attitudes of American audiences in 1937, they want the remake to reflect the attitudes of American audiences in 2023. Rachel’s job is to play the part and promote the movie. The audience is entirely free to decide whether they want to skip or see the movie. But to put all of the blame on her for this new iteration when she’s merely Snow White’s vessel – to decide that she is unfit to play Snow White based on a out-of-context 5-second clip (Which by the way originated on a conservative far-right Tiktok profile who’s gonna use all of this vitriol to further his stupid “go woke, go broke” agenda because they’re all too blinded by their hatred of Rachel.) is irresponsible and immature. And it certainly doesn’t make any of her detractors better than her, it actually makes them worse. Period. You know why? Because this whole thing is affecting Rachel negatively and she’s alluded to this on social media several times in the last 24 hours.

Also, people have been continuously bringing up “Barbie” in all of the conversations about “Snow White”, talking about how the former was great because it emphasized the importance of being your own person and being free to make the choices that are authentic to you. They forgot that Greta Gerwig is writing the screenplay for this upcoming “Snow White” remake. Yes, the same Greta Gerwig who wrote and directed “Barbie” which just crossed the $500M mark at the box office. Everyone casually forgot that Disney hired her to co-write the screenplay. And it’s really frustrating to have to watch these people sing “Barbie”’s praises while holding the film up like the poster child whose specific feminist values Rachel MUST adhere. Even though– one more time – FEMINISM IS ABOUT CHOICE.

Truthfully, I don’t know how this movie is going to turn out. It could be good, great, bad, awful, mediocre, etc. I do have my doubts because they’ve deviated quite a bit from the source material. (Also, what if they do something heavy-handed like the prince eats the poison apple to stop her from eating it and then she has to save him? 😅) But I’m reserving all judgments until see the first teaser. From there I’ll decide whether I want to see it or not. But for now, I just wish people would realize that they are hurting Rachel and it’s unacceptable.

If you made it to the end of this TedTalk, thank you and I appreciate you. I hope you and anyone else who sees this post is inspired to be kinder in the future.

Good night.

Princess Defender out! ✌🏼xx

You would think that after all that Brie Larson, Jennifer Lawrence, Daisy Ridley, Kelly Marie Tran and, most recently, Halle Bailey endured, we would’ve learned our lesson. First, you said Rachel wasn’t Latina / Latina enough; then you said she was Latina and therefore she can’t be Snow White.

Y’all spent years criticizing the princesses, – namely Snow White – calling them “weak” and “passive”, saying that young girls shouldn’t aspire to be them and shaming those people that did. Disney heard you and decided “Fine, we’ll give her a more modern update,” and tasked Rachel with playing her.

Now y’all wanna do a complete 180 and want to claim that Snow White is “sacrilege” and was always a beautiful role model. You’re calling on Rachel to quit, calling her ungrateful for her role (nevermind that these photos exists), saying she “ruined the movie” for you, and hoping the movie fails based on an out-of-context 5-second Tiktok clip from a year old video. Disney creatives are the ones who made the decision to portray Snow White this way; Rachel is merely her vessel. What is wrong with y’all?!

Not to mention that y’all have the Audacity™️ to compare her handling of this whole thing to Halle Bailey’s handling of the racist campaigns against her. Rachel doesn’t it to owe to you to handle all of this with grace, by staying quiet and putting on a brave face. This constant barrage of hate and over analyzation of everything she says, does, and thinks is clearly taking a toll on her. (Also, Halle has signaled her support for Rachel, so just try pitting these two against each other again.)

Y’all need to realize that you are bullying a 22 year old for sport and have no shame for it. It’s sickening. I am exhausted from watching female actresses get torn apart on social media, at this point for just existing.

We just had a “Barbie” come out; a movie that famously talks about the difficulties of being a woman and how no matter what you do, no matter how hard you work or how hard you try, nothing you do will be ever be enough. Everyone missed the message. I’m disappointed, but shit am I not surprised.

#snow white #disney #rachel zegler #treat people with kindness

524 notes · View notes

charlie-rulerofhell · 4 years ago

Text

An interview with Måneskin: “It's not about out bodies, it's about our music”

Heyo, I'm back with another translation. This time the article is from the German Rolling Stone website who met with Måneskin after their TikTok performance at the Schwuz, Berlin, and posted the interview yesterday. Again there were some interesting questions asked (and the pictures they added to the article are quite nice, though severely lacking some Ethan content, but check it out!).

Again, I hope that no one has already gone through the effort and translated it or is currently working on a translation. Also this is an official invitation, if you stumble across any articles or video interviews in German that you would like to have translated just message me and I'll get to it! (or if you just wanna chat about Måneskin, my inbox is always open :))

Have a great day everyone!

Full article under the cut.

-----------------------------

An interview with Måneskin: “It's not about out bodies, it's about our music”

Jose-Luis Amsler

July 6, 2021

Måneskin are just what this generation has been missing. Passionate, corny, and full-on honest. In an interview with Rolling Stones, the ESC winners explain to us why they would never work in a normal job and why the hype for their appearance is sometimes going too far.

Damiano, Victoria, Thomas and Ethan are entering the nearly deserted dance hall, before they wait on stage in a red-blue spotlight. They are wearing glittering fish net tops, black tape across their nipples, leather pants, heels and make up. The camera men who are filming in portrait format (9:16) suitable for TikTok are whirling up the haze of the fog machine.

Måneskin are [in] Berlin to give a TikTok concert. A TikTok livestream of this scale has not been done often – tension is in the air. The four Italians don't know at this point that due to the stream the few people present are not allowed to clap or cheer. In complete silence and with slight uncertainty the four are crossing Neukölln's club Schwuz. A few puzzled glances are exchanged. Finally, Måneskin are striking the first chord.

Then the rich sound of Ethan's bass drum is tearing through the silence. It's almost as if someone has flicked a switch somewhere. There it is, the rock star presence that is hovering over everything they do, with an ounce of arrogance (in the best sense of the word). Singer Damiano is dancing lasciviously on his heels, and during an especially ecstatic solo guitarist Thomas is throwing himself down on the floor in a way it can only be done by a passionate 20-year-old musician who had never had to worry about the looming doom of an artificial knee joint [for 'passionate' the interview is using the term 'besessen' which means 'possessed', and although I think it's rather supposed to describe the way Thomas is 'possessed / obsessed' with the music, thus passionate for the music, you never know if they didn't mean to say that the way he dances looks 'possessed' … I mean, they might be on to something here ;)]. Around half an hour and about 120 decibel later, Damiano says their goodbyes with an almost shy-sounding “Okay, bye.” After the performance, we do our interview in the Schwuz.

Rolling Stone: It was a little bit weird, right, when you went on stage today?

Damiano: Yeah, that was really strange (laughs). They only told us after the performance that the audience was instructed to stay silent for the stream.

Vic: But at least they weren't silent because we were shit (all laughing). We are slowly getting used to playing without a live audience. I mean we are doing this now for more than a year.

RS: What do you think about these new kinds of concerts such as the TikTok livestream today?

Damiano: Well, at the moment it is the only option to perform anyway, so it's alright. But of course you cannot compare this to a proper concert.

Thomas: But it's pretty cool that so many people can experience our concert live.

Vic: Also we're gonna start touring again soon. Right now we are arranging some festival and gigs. In December we will be touring Italy and afterwards we are planning to go on tour through Europe. But we don't have anything fixed yet, there is just a lot going on at the moment.

“A lot going on”. Quite an understatement considering the recent journey Måneskin has made through the past weeks after their ESC win. Their singles “Beggin'” and “I Wanna Be Your Slave” went through the roof (also thanks to Social Media) and are currently dominating the international charts – lately they were also number one in Germany. There is barely a radio station that isn't playing the band on heavy rotation [would love to know what stations they listen to, have never heard Måneskin played in German radio tbh :( ], and everyone opening Instagram or TikTok these days is flooded by Måneskin content. Every second a new fanpage with the name of 'maneskin_obsession' or 'damianos_slut' is springing up like a (virtual) mushroom. It sounds like a cliche, but Damiano, Vic, Thomas and Ethan became international stars over night.

“Of course it's nice to get compliments. But sometimes they definitely cross a line.” – Damiano David

RS: How has your life as a band changed since your win at the ESC in Rotterdam?

Vic: I think we don't even notice a lot of what's happening. Right after the ESC we went to a studio in the countryside where we made music the whole day long. So at first we didn't realise that so many things were happening all around us – and that we had so many new fans. We're just now beginning to learn what's going on. We were at Sony yesterday, there were so many fans waiting for us. That was crazy.

RS: A large part of the attention you are getting now is about your outer appearance, your style, your attractiveness. Is that getting a little too much sometimes?

Damiano: Of course it's nice to get compliments (laughs). But sometimes they definitely cross a line. Especially when we just talk about our music or about a social or political topic that we care about. In those moments it's just completely inappropriate to reduce us to our appearance. Sure – when I'm posting a half-naked picture of myself on Instagram I know that I will get these kind of comments. And then it's totally fine, I mean in the end I'm posting the picture to show myself. But sometimes it's not the right place for it.

RS: And also you should be allowed to wear what you want without being sexualised, right?

Vic: Yes, absolutely. We are wearing these outfits because we feel good in them, not to put the focus on our bodies. And in general it shouldn't always only be about how you dress. We are musicians – so first and foremost it should be about our music. But I think it will still be a long way until we will reach that point.

“That the boys are wearing make up does not tell you what gender they are attracted to. Those things should never be equated with each other.” – Victoria De Angelis

RS: But still you are sending a message with your style against stereotypical gender roles. I guess it's also not only coincidence that we are in the Schwuz today, which is normally a party location and safe space for the LGBTQ community.

Vic: Yes, that is all part of the positive message that we try to send. We want to give our audience the feeling that they are free. Free to wear whatever they want to wear, be how they want to be and love whom they want to love. It's unbelievable that there is still so much intolerance in our times. That has always been really important to us so we try to talk about these topics. We also believe that the narrow-mindedness of society is an educational problem. When you grow up with people all around you telling you how you should be, you will never feel completely free. The more people are talking about it, the sooner things will change.

RS: Some artists who are advocating for these topics are accused of 'queerbaiting', that they are only pretending to be a certain way to gain more support from the queer community. Have you also been faced with those allegations?

Vic: Yes, a few times. But of course we never pretended to be anything. Some people accuse of us queerbaiting because we look and act the way we do. But that's flawed thinking. We don't believe that clothes are connected to a person's sexuality. That the boys are wearing make up does not tell you what gender they are attracted to. Those two things should never be equated with each other.

RS: This courage for free self expression that you are conveying is mainly lived by our (young) generation through Instagram and the like. What is your relationship to social media?

Damiano: For me it was almost scary at first. The more we grew, the more people were trying to twist all of my words. But over time you start to understand that with more fame you also get more criticism. The happier you look the more hate you will get. It's not only like that for celebrities. If you are brave enough to show the things that make you happy there will always be people that support you, but they are also those that envy you. Of course, this should never lead anyone to not express themselves openly but that's easier said than done.

Vic: We are also trying not to spend too much time on social media. In the end we just try to be honest with our fans and to avoid negativity.

[caption under the picture of Damiano: 'Is already being compared to icons such as David Bowie']

It's actually surprising how little power a win at the ESC holds in most cases. Almost 200 million people are watching this shining spectacle every year – and still, a few months afterwards it is hard to remember who those people were that got covered in confetti during the award ceremony. It's the well-known curse of a casting show that rests on the winning bands. When just next year a new sensation will come to marvel at, how much impact does a win have then? There are exceptions of course, like Lena who is until this day, 10 years after her win in Oslo, a part of the more famous music scene of German pop music. With their charisma, their unusual sound at least for our modern standards, and their contemporary message Måneskin could become such an exception, too.

It's likely also helpful that the band already had a standing in the Italian music scene prior to their ESC participation. Their first album 'Il ballo della vita' already achieved platinum in 2018, three years prior to Sanremo and the ESC. And then there is also the long way that led the four schoolmates to this point that helped them gain the necessary persistence. Because contrary to what some people might want to believe Måneskin are not a phenomenon that has just been deliberately bred to be this way by the entertainment industry for Eurovision.

“I have worked [in a 'normal' job] for a whole month in my entire life – it didn't really end well.” – Damiano David

RS: You were all raised in Rome, the capital of the catholic church. What was it like to start as a young progressive band in such a conservative environment?

Damiano: In the beginning, when we started as buskers, no one gave a damn about us anyways (all laughing). But of course … Once we got a bit bigger there were a few people who had a problem with us. For example when we went to Sanremo, there were quite many people who thought that the way we looked and acted we shouldn't be allowed to represent Italy. They didn't even want to listen to our music first.

Vic: Especially when it comes to appearance and sexuality, Italy is a little more backward than other countries. The church probably also has an influence there. They are often quite conservative of course, so many people grew up with such a [conservative] mindset.

RS: You once said that the song 'In Nome Del Padre' is an answer to exactly those people. What does the song mean to you?

Damiano: Back in the beginning [of our career] we had to deal with a lot of problems. They didn't want to let us play in clubs because we would take too much space as a band or because they didn't like our (fashion) style or because they didn't want to pay us. Italy isn't a good place for bands. Our musical style was also criticised a lot. Many people were telling us: Don't do that [rock music], you won't get popular with that in Italy, you will never achieve anything with it. Of course those comments were hurtful but they were also a good reason for us to continue with what we did. And we turned our sadness into anger. With that song we wanted to tell those people from back then: Fuck off and look at us, we did it!

RS: Did you ever consider working in a nine-to-five job and live a 'normal' life?

Damiano: Nah, not really. For one month in my life I worked [in a 'normal' job] – it didn't end well (all laughing).

Vic: We all made music since we were kids. It's a huge part of us, that we couldn't just ignore. And the most important thing is that you do something that makes you happy. At least that's what we believe. So we started from a young age to put all our time and energy into music.

Thomas: Yeah, exactly. Ever since we were in school together we always made music. That has always been our main focus and it is until today. We play and play and play because it is the only thing that …

Ethan: … we live for.

Damiano: Music has also something very therapeutic for us. Even when we are in a bad mood or fight with each other – yeah, that happens, too – then all of that is gone the moment we enter the stage. Maybe that's the beautiful thing about music – that it allows you to forget everything else. You're just standing on stage, having fun with your friends.

From most bands you wouldn't buy such a corny love letter to music. Mostly it just sounds like an empty phrase, a well-practiced quotable line. But when there is something that defines Måneskin and that becomes more and more evident during our conversation it's their uncompromising honesty. The four of them are definitely not lacking a sense of humour but they take their music very seriously. Which should not be taken for granted in a generation that has mainly produced sarcastic cloud rappers and has made cynical twitter comedy a national sport. And maybe Måneskin are exactly what this generation was lacking all along.

Still, the four musicians, all in the age of 20 to 22, are also prone to the constant need for self-expression, that has become an intrinsic part of today's life. This does not only reflect in the outfits of the band (always 'on fleek') and their Instagram profiles, but also in their lyrics. Their latest record 'Teatra D'Ira – Vol. 1' shows a clear theme: The album is an ode to individuality, accentuated by fast and hard sounds.

Sometimes this message fitting for a Disney movie [really? guess I have been watching the wrong Disney movies my whole life …] is wrapped in a contrasting loud and forceful packaging, but never so much that it becomes inauthentic or self-caricaturing [note: I'm honestly not entirely sure what they wanted to say with this sentence since it uses a lot of rhetorical devices that could be interpreted in different ways, but I'd say this sounds the most plausible]. And in the end, the thing that makes Måneskin so interesting is their unification of the spirit of this time – between TikTok hedonism and an omnipresent political statement – with the music of past generations.

“When you are twenty, you start to think about what the future will hold.” – Damiano David

RS: Your musical style is often described as classical 70s rock, but in fact there are many different influences in your music. Sometimes you groove almost into funk, sometimes it's more rapping than singing. How did this mixture come to be?

Thomas: It's just that we all have our own individual influences and then we meet somewhere in the middle. And we always try to stay open for experiments.

Ethan: Yes, we are very experimental in our song writing process.

Vic: We also don't want to limit ourselves to what is regarded as typical rock music. If rap fits better at some point then we just add that in. It just happens naturally without us thinking too much about it.

RS: So why was it still rock music in the end?

Vic: Because it's the style that we feel most represented by. But actually we just play the music that we enjoy playing. That's really important to us so that we can show something real on stage. We don't want to pretend to be something that we aren't or mock those people that really enjoy our music. You should always be proud of what you're doing and never fake anything just to sell more records.

RS: Is there something like an Italian rock music scene?

Vic: There are quite a lot of bands – but the most of them are much older than us or they are more going in the direction Indie rock. There isn't really a young rock scene, which we think is a pity. But ever since we got more famous people are telling us that they started listening to rock music because of us or that they bought their first guitar and such. That's incredibly nice!

RS: So you're saying that you also want to show this style of music to a younger generation. And you capture this contrast quite well in the song 'Vent'anni', which is a typical rock ballad but lyrically portrays the thoughts of today's youth. Where did the motivation come from to write that song?

Damiano: With the song I wanted to show that I'm just a normal guy, a really typical 20-year-old. I experience the same things that other people in my age are experiencing, I'm just doing another job than them. Also I wanted to describe this age as a whole because I think it's a really special age. At 20 you start to think about what the future will hold. I think it's one of the most important stages of your life. Since we (the four of us) are all in the same age, I then started to mix our experiences together. In the end the song shows what it means to us to be 20. There is a lot of good things – you are quite carefree and are looking at life enthusiastically. But on the other hand you're too young to do certain things and too old to do others. Some people are treating you like a full-grown adult, but …

Vic: … not entirely.

Damiano: Exactly. It can get pretty frustrating at times. We wanted to show our audience: Hey, we're also just 20 years old, and we're going through the same things as you. We understand you.

RS: Except that you are the ones who are becoming a world-wide phenomenon right now. How do you want to maintain this honesty?

Damiano: I think that we could just reach this point because we have always been authentic – for better or for worse. Also we are just trying to have fun with what we're doing together. That's something special that we don't want to lose. In the end we're just four friends who started to live their dream. It's actually pretty simple. Of course – we go on stage, we get a lot of attention, we give interviews – but when we come back home we're just four friends.

#måneskin #maneskin #måneskin interview #my stuff #esc #again if you ever want anything to be translated just hit me up i'm free most of the time #ig my blog is slowly turning into a måneskin fanpage for translations and shitposting #but tbh i'm not complaining #have a great day everyone and happy waiting for sooooon

225 notes · View notes

yandere-society · 4 years ago

Text

The Rabbit Hole

Summary: The Windy City in the mid-1920s is a spectacle of lights and sounds, roaring with the excitement of jazz music and swinging dance moves. Amid the brilliant stars of Chicago nightlife, there is a dark underground of secrets, mainly that being the mysterious Wonderland Ball you've been invited to participate in and be crowned the next "Alice". What you don't know is you may or may not be allowed to leave, per the Mad Hatter and a White Rabbit's desires. So, daring and brave as you are, you decide to take a journey down The Rabbit Hole and come face to face with high society - people - as you've never seen them before.

Genre: Yandere; Historical Fiction/ Fantasy Based In The 1920′s; Smut; Thriller; Alice in Wonderland Inspired

Warnings: Yandere themes, Mentions of drug/ alcohol use with/without consent, mentions of “gangsters”, light talks of selling your soul/ the devil/ religious “themes”?, sedative drugs used non-consensually, vivid dreams/nightmares, maybe light profanity? Smut: Non-protected sex (twice), creampies, oral sex (f and m receiving/giving), slight nipple play?, spanking, marking, bruising, slightly rough sex, use of a sex swing/ sex swing intercourse, f and m orgasms. I think that’s it.

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook (White Rabbit) x Reader (Alice) x Kim Seokjin (Mad Hatter), Side Pairing of Johnny (Jonathan) Suh from NCT x Reader, Johnny x Jung Jaehyun from NCT.

Author’s Notes: This is not going to be a historically accurate piece. As much as I am an advocate for research and learning about the times of old, I am only human and I am short on time researching in between my full time job. I have grown up and currently live in Chicago and I have never written a story about the Windy City before so here I am, writing to you about the wonderful city I call home. I am doing my best to stay true to my writing as well as make it as accurate as one can, but please forgive me if there are faults in this story!

We are not doing a collective Valentine’s Day event this year but the contents of this piece have been weighing heavily on my mind, so I asked if I could write this story for a little something-something. I hope you all enjoy it!

Written By: Admin 💖 @therealmintedmango��

Also, who do you think the other boys from BTS are from Alice in Wonderland in this story? I’d love to know!

Stepping out of my very own vehicle my future husband’s family sent for me, I take in the sights and the sounds that Chicago provides this snowy afternoon.

People waltz around one another and mingle about, snow crunching under their feet. The faint sounds of jingle bells float down the streets in the chilly air, it smells of popcorn and roasted nuts as well as the sludge of gasoline tainting the snow. A cold breeze gliding across the buildings nearly knocks me off my feet as I look up to my new place of residence, a new high-rise Michigan Ave. The stars above my head seem to sparkle in the dark sky, or are those just the electric lights from the grand buildings surrounding me?

Curious, I think as I continue to have my sights set above the horizon. I’ve certainly strayed very far from the corn fields of back home. Inhaling the sharp, bitterly cold air around me, I feel a sense of dread almost wash over my senses. I knew what I was signing up for when I came here. Jonathan and I discussed it in great detail over the wire.

The reality of the situation is finally sinking into my layers of clothing.

Jonathan Suh, the grandson of Suh Realtor Industries Incorporated - which owns about one third of Chicago - has asked me to marry him. It was seemingly out of the blue too. I was going to spend the next years of my life trying to marry into the best livestock or vegetable farmer in town, not the filthy rich grandson in a large city. It felt like a dream when he called me and begged me to come as soon as possible. I suppose it pays off to be kind to everyone, especially when it felt like it was yesterday we were both in grammar school together.

I drink it all in, the busy sounds, the cold night air that leaves me feeling bitter and raw standing in the street while snow begins to descend from the blackened sky. It feels foreign to me even though it’s only about two hours away from the farm. The breeze blistering in from the west sends a chill up my spine.

This is a new beginning, I ponder to myself as I stretch upwards in the middle of the sidewalk. This is my chance at a better life, this is way better than being some poor, sad farm girl. That’s right! I’m going to be the wife of my childhood friend who just happened to be some rich playboy who has more money than he knows what to do with.

I’m going to be a Suh!

...Even if the whole arrangement is a sham...

“Miss, you are going to freeze to death outside!” Jonathan’s maids rush to usher me out of the cold quickly, but not before I accidentally bump into someone on the busy sidewalk.

“I beg you to pardon me,” I mumble as I set my sights over my shoulder on a man dressed in a long coat with hair as white as the snow currently blanketing the ground. “You’ll have to forgive me, I am just enraptured with how bright Chicago seems to shine at night.”

The man’s seemingly red eyes expand with my excitement, then soften. “No pardon to beg, Miss…?” He queries, a bloom of warmth spreading across his face.

“Suh.” I smile as the men shout from my car they have finished unpacking. “Well, I am the future Mrs. Jonathan Suh. For now I suppose I am still Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Strange, I didn’t think he… Well, never mind that now.” His eyes linger on mine. “Johnny’s got good taste.” I hear him mumble under his breath in a deep tone, slurring his words together in a string. “Well, I can’t wait to see more of you, future Mrs. Jonathan Suh.” He says as he swings his coat behind himself and takes off down the street, the crowd and the night dissolving him like a pill in warm water.

Curious and curiouser this night becomes, I think as the maids finally have enough of me standing about in the cold.

“Do you know who that was?” I ask the hoard of them, hoping someone has the answer to my bump in the night with a rather odd fellow. My heart is beating but I’m not sure what for. I know my place. I know why he called me… My fate was sealed as soon as I got the wire from my future husband.

The collective flock shake their heads and mutter polite “noes” as they lead me up grand staircases of marble and through dim corridors at this time of night, leaving my brain a drifting piece of snow in the blizzard that will surely accumulate outside overnight.

“Right this way.” A young redhead coos as she parades me up what must be my twentieth flight of stairs I’ve climbed this evening. “Master Suh will be so happy you are here at last!” They lead me into a beautiful room with the most lavish furniture I’ve ever seen in my life! Magazines and pictures certainly don’t bestow such fine items with quite the same honor as seeing such beauty in person.

“Madam Suh has a full schedule for you this weekend.” One of the elderly looking women dares to swoon as she says, “Wedding planning, I’m sure, no doubt.” My coat is taken from me and I am given house slippers to wear.

The flock - or really I should call them a herd of lemmings - all agree once more as a butler leads us through a hallway with objects of fine art, pottery, and paintings. Each item is so uniquely wonderful that it would make my brothers’ and sisters’ heads spin if they saw how perfect and polished everything is. How ornate and lavish! Am I to spend my life with fine, intricate pieces of art from all mediums? I wonder if Jonathan has created any of these himself? Would he allow me to paint? I wonder...

“Master Suh,” I inhale, realizing I am right at the threshold of a beautiful oak door. “Miss Y/N Y/L/N has arrived.” The butler announces.

My body feels all fuzzy and nervous for some reason. It’s been many years since I’ve seen my dear friend from when we were still learning how to hop on a bicycle in the country where his family had a small house and property that butted up against my family’s by the little lake in the middle of a corn field.

“Y/N!” A deep, refreshing voice purrs before he embraces me in a tight hug. “How was your ride? Did the car fair well, unlike the weather?” He chuckles as his tall frame dwarfs mine in comparison. The scent of him is most definitely cinnamon, scotch, and leather, which I’m not surprised. All fine things to smell of for certain.

The maids all giggle and mumble their approval and the butlers look away, anxious to gaze upon a woman in another man’s arms. I suppose his gesture of a greeting is very rude, but I don’t mind. Being smack-dab in the middle of my siblings, I feel like nothing phases me anymore, even the hug Jonathan wraps around me.

“Jonathan Suh,” I simper, pulling out of his embrace, “The ride was not too terrible, and my, how tall you’ve grown! And so dapper too.” I sigh earnestly. “It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

“I hope you say that every day you wake up and I am there beside you.” Jonathan’s brown eyes seem to daze in the glow from the lamp lights in the sitting parlor.

There’s nothing more I hate than an arrogant flirt, not to mention an arrogant flirt with money is all the more trouble. Is this really going to be the rest of my life? Living with Jonathan like this? So contrived and fake… it makes my insides twist.

“I am rather weary though from a day full of travels.” I pretend to yawn, shifting out of his arms bit by bit and heading toward the door. “May I have the delight in seeing you tomorrow?”

“Oh yes, you must be quite tired. I always get sleepy on car rides.’ Jonathan muses as he extends his hand to the door and the staff scramble into place. “Mr. and Mrs. Alan would you please escort Y/N to her room? I will be here but on the other end of the house until we are...you know-”

“Goodnight, Jonathan.” I say almost too quickly after that, leaving almost as swiftly as I’ve come.

Once my hair is down and I am dressed comfortably in my nightgown, I feel like I can take a deep breath again. It feels odd with my hair unpinned, sitting in a brand-new nightgown, overlooking the rocking waves of the lake and the snow that drifts down from the sky. Basking in the sill of my window from the beautiful lights and moonlight shining through my velvet curtains, I hope and pray that every night I spend in Chicago is not as forced and fake as this one has been.

I’m chasing something odd in my dream.

I move between pictures hanging on the walls, through the bellies of grandfather clocks, I emerge through the darkness every time, chasing a little white rabbit with a cottontail through or around objects of grand design. I have never had a dream that felt so vivid and real, like I am actually flying through my thoughts, time of the utmost essence for some unknown reason. I can’t seem to escape a dark feeling looming around me and I feel slightly frightened that I will not catch the little thing.

When I reach for the little dumpling covered in pretty white fur, it lurches forward, propelling my desire to catch up to the little beast.

I descend deeper and deeper, the spotlight in the darkness focused solely on the bunny ahead of me. I can’t reach him, I’m not fast enough, my feet do not carry me quick enough. I call to the animal but it doesn’t hear me, instead it flies between two large velvet curtains.

“Please!” I beg the animal as I pop through the hole in the curtains, shuffling through on my knees. “Where are you taking…me…” My question dies in my throat as I look up to find red eyes, his curly blonde hair waving at me from under a gold top hat, a gold mask from that of a masquerade celebration covering most of his face.

But, I know that soft smirk well now. I’ve replayed it several times already in my mind like the fool I am.

This is the man I met on the sidewalk. I gasp. But, why is he inhabiting my dream?

“Welcome to Wonderland, Alice.” A soft voice wafts from high above the two of us, making me shiver. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

Why am I frightened? Surely this is not a nightmare. I was only following a rabbit and now I am here with these two men.

Slowly, my eyes trail up the large mahogany platform, showcasing a very large, ornately plush gold and maroon seat which houses a man in an all green suit of the finest quality. He is also wearing a mask trimmed with greens and golds, his lush lips pinkened like he had just indulged in delicious raspberry jam pulled into a dark smirk. He sits with the side of his pale face in one of his hands, resting comfortably on the arm of the pretty chair. The man from the street sits on a swing that hangs high from the rafters, silently taking me in. An aura of power and class drips tastefully from every fiber of his being, weighing heavily upon me like he is a hammer and I am but a humble nail.

“Good job chasing rabbits.” The man’s smile further stretches, his amber eyes boring down upon me, making my skin want to jump from my skeleton. “The next step is to find The Rabbit Hole.”

My eyes fling open, a train's loud horn blaring in the distance, the golden morning haze filtering from the curtains across the room. I jolt upward in bed, cold sweat beading my body, tainting the beautiful nightgown the Suhs have given me. I throw the sheets off my bed and clutch my forehead, musing the words of the man in all green over and over to myself in a frenzy.

...What a dreadfully vivid dream...

I’ve been here for almost a week and I’ve lost count of the tea parties and luncheons I’ve attended with Mrs. Suh. The people and the houses and families they all belong to are getting lost to me in the wake of planning for a wedding. Though, I’m not sure how much I am actually planning. Merely pointing between two colors of table placemats and napkins or choosing between a flower or two.

Tonight though, it is another snowy evening on the lakeshore, we are attending a jazz concert at the Sunset Cafe to see a wonderful show performed by the talented Cab Calloway and Louis Armstrong who make the most wonderful music. I was practically buzzing when I heard the news that the Suhs would be taking me this evening. As always, Jonathan and his mother have only two options for me to wear this evening and I must make a choice between them. A silver, more A-lined gown that shows off more skin than one should in the winter with a mink-fur cowl or more fluttering, off the shoulder velvet cobalt-blue style of a ball gown with embroidered golden stars falling from the bust in waves of tulle.

Call me old fashioned, but I choose the one that makes me feel like a princess, not the one that makes me fit in. My thoughts wander between which Suh picked out which dress for me to wear and the dream of me chasing a white rabbit.

I can never seem to catch that rabbit nor have I seen the two men since my first dream. It relieved me, but it also scared me.

A shimmering laugh that is made of moonbeams and stars pulls me from my spell of thought that engrossed me.

The Suhs are dotting and cheerful people, always looking out for their only son in this cruel world. They are wonderful and powerful in their own ways, working the men and ladies in the sitting room of the theater with just a glance or smile of their lips. Mr. Suh smokes a cigar and smacks Jonathan on the back as they stand in the corner away from the ladies. Mrs. Suh includes me in all her conversations, never wanting me to feel lost or dissuaded from a million questions by another matriarch of a well-to-do family.

I can see why Jonathan doesn’t want to disappoint them or the good people of his clan’s name before or after himself.

The room is hazy from the smoky cigars that the men all drag on in between their elaborate conversations about President Coolidge and his beliefs while the women discuss lighter subjects such as traveling to Paris and Morocco as well as tennis. I find my thoughts up in the cloud of smoke that hangs in the room.

“Pardon me, ladies,” Jonathan places a hand gently upon my shoulder, “may I steal Y/N away for a few moments?”

“The concert will begin shortly, Johnny.” Mrs. Suh smiles, casting her charms to her son who smiles with reassurance to his dear mother.

“Don’t fret, mother,” Jonathan grins as she calls him his nickname, “I want to show her off to my college chums.”

Her eyes twinkle in delightful mischief as she swirls her glass of sweet liquor in her hand. “Just be sure to return her in one piece. Y/N has a long day ahead of her tomorrow.”

More wedding planning I’m not privy to I suppose? Such is my life now. High society is fun and all but the pressure is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before… No, my brain is captivated once more by the dark aura of the man from my dream, looming and lingering above me, teeth glimmering in the lim electric light of the room from my lucid dream. That was true, pure evil pressure I wish to never partake in the feeling of ever again.

Jonathan says nothing as he turns from her, ushering me away with his hand placed gently on my shoulder. We move silently and quickly through groups who mingle and giggle, alcohol strong in their glasses and upon their breath as we pass through the crowd of rich socialites.

We stop at one group of gentlemen, but I am only introduced to one handsome man named Jung Jaehyun who fondly shakes Jonathan’s hand and winks at me. What an odd fellow, I tell myself as we dive deeper and deeper into the crowd of people loitering in the fancy sitting room.

“I’m glad you wore the one I picked out.” Jonathan says so low that I may only be able to hear his words. Well, that answers that question then. “These men might eat you alive, so stay as sharp as a blade but soft as a lamb, understand me? They will not leave me be until I introduce you to them.”

“Are they your friends?” I query with a whisper as he pulls me to the edge of the room where young men have beautiful young ladies draped on their elbows.

I have never seen a lady look like they do, but I suppose it is fashionable and “kept up with the times”. I am not so appealing as these ladies are with their skin on display and their heels high, they attract my attention before the men who hold them up do. Their makeup is dark, yet shimmering in the soft glow from the electric lights from above. The fair ladies’ hair is cut so short, their sideways hats and feather headbands merely slip off their sleek and shiny hairstyles. I am in awe of the way they look and envy them for behaving and chatting so freely.

“Do not be scared, but they are budding gangsters who run speakeasies.” My eyes widen with his words, but I do what I am told. “Please do me another favor, Y/N, and become the most desirable woman here.” Jonathan whispers to me before we approach the hoard of people in front of me. “I will set you free from this cage as soon as I can.”

I can only nod as my demeanor switches like that of a light switch.

Walking up to these men and women I’ve never met, I invoke the acting spirit of Jane West for Jonathan. I demand my attention. I am the most beautiful creature in this sitting room, if not all of the world. I did not go to college but I am going to show you how well read and cultured I am. I am going to be a Suh and I command you all to bow down to me in this instant.

“Suh!” A tall man with coiffed, sandy blonde locks beams as he steps away from his fair darling on his arm tonight. “You dog! I didn’t think you’d grace us with your presence this evening!” They shake hands and laugh at nothing vigorously as I look between the two before the blonde catches my eye. They are pretty amber eyes that remain half-lidded and surely dazzle in the glow from chandeliers above. He’s not as tall as Jonathan, but he is handsome. “This must be-”

“Y/N Y/L/N.”

A voice from behind the blonde says clearly, setting to be free from the shadow of Jonathan’s friend.

It’s the white rabbit! I think as I try to hold myself together. He looks rather dapper in a white and gold waistcoat with tails, a top hat making him appear to be as formal as one can be. This is the gentleman I bumped into the streets, but I cannot press out of my head. I want to tell him to stay out of my dreams, but I fear he will think me mad if I declare such a bold thing without expressing my thoughts further.

“You know of my future bride, Jeon?” I feel the grip upon my shoulder tighten and breath being held from above me. Don’t fret, Jonathan, I would never tell anyone. I promise. Your secret is safe with me.

The friend with his hair as white as the fallen snow looks at me passively, eyes rimmed red like he can’t sleep a wink either. “I met her on the sidewalk, John, but we’ve never been properly introduced.” He bows and takes my blue-colored gloved hand in his white ones. He kisses the top of my hand and in this ball gown-like dress I am indeed fulfilling my fantasy of pretending to be a beautiful princess. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, future Mrs. Jonathan Suh.”

“Y/N,” Jonathan says, exhaling the concerned breath he’s been holding in, his grip returning to normal as well. “These are my friends from college: Mr. Kim Namjoon, whose family owns one third of the city like mine does, and Mr. Jeon Jungkook, who makes up the triangle of the most powerful families of Chicago.”

“At your service.” Jungkook says with a cheeky grin stretching across his face, kissing the top of my hand once more.

The way he looks up at me makes butterflies trapped in my body flutter and flounce about. But I cannot swoon or succumb to a young man so openly. Jonathan is counting on me.

“I’m delighted to meet Jonathan’s friends from his schooling.” I say in the same charming manner Mrs. Suh has produced all week.

“Forgive me for this is a bold question, future Mrs. Suh, but, will you be getting a gown made?” Namjoon asks me as he sips his scotch on the rocks.

“I think tomorrow I am going for a fitting, yes.” I nod my head, smiling just the right amount.

“Then it should be crafted by the finest in the Windy City, Kim’s Couture on the corner of Washington and LaSalle Street. Have you heard of the establishment before?” Namjoon queries.

“Indeed! I have!” I exclaim happily, my eyes wide as his stay half-lidded as though he is sleepy, though he smiles earnestly.

“Then I must insist you have a treasured wedding gown made by my seamstresses.” He hands me a white business card with only his name upon it. I stare at it until he taps it twice. “They will take excellent care of you, I promise.”

“Oh-ho!” A soft, almost melliferous voice rings out behind me. No... “This must be the infamous bride-to-be!” I know this voice! Fear rattles through me, making me tremble as I look over the shoulder Jonathan is not draped over to look at the mysterious voice. Time is slow as molasses as I face the man from my dream, clad all in a green waistcoat, vest, and top hat, wolfishly grinning at me.

“Ah, this is my eldest brother,” Namjoon muses as the electric lights flash, indicating the performance will begin soon, “Seokjin Kim.”

Kim Seokjin...

I feel like I know everything about this man yet nothing at all. He is the type of man who is a brilliant summer on the outside and stormy winter on the inside. The smile on his lips - that is the color of the inside of a cherry tart - is warm, yet cold all in the same breath. He appears to be a powerful man of high class, wrapped in an enigma of grace and power. But there is a scent of something malicious in the air as he closes the gap between us and gets down on his knee to kiss upon my hand.

I’m not sure what made me do it, but something comes over me, the flight or fight instinct animals possess lurches out of me in this moment.

“Why is a raven like a writing desk?” I ask, pulling my arm away from him.

Seokjin’s bright amber eyes slowly travel up my ball gown, disbelief and confusion colors his good looking features.

Mouths open in shock and my heart drops, but I feign a lie, turning out of Jonathan grasp, and quickly say, “Forgive me, for I feel faint.” I run to the bathroom in the hall as everyone piles into the main room of the Sunset Cafe, heart pounding in my chest and cheeks on fire.

I’m so sorry Jonathan, I did not mean to make a fool out of you. There is just something about the way Seokjin’s gaze is so feral that chills me to the bone.

A hand rests upon Jungkook’s shoulder while he continues to longingly gaze at the door as if he was willing me to come back with his mind. “Don’t worry, Jeon.” Seokjin purrs in his ear, amber gleam set upon the door. “She is the one who chases you every night, not the other way around.”

“I know, hyung.” Jungkook whispers as the brass begins to trumpet through the building. “When do we make our move?”

“Soon.” Seokjin chuckles darkly, guiding the younger of the boys to follow behind him. “Very soon we will have our glorious tea party.”

The subject of marriage has always been an odd one to me, I think to myself as maids and fashion consultants from the Kim’s dress boutique flutter and coo around me.

My parents married but it was never for love. I knew that, my siblings and myself knew that, yet they both loved us all the same. My mother and father married as more of a “good match on paper” sort of situation, than they were truly, madly in love. Still, they never fought, my father never hit my mother, never drank himself silly, never talked to another woman. My mother upheld the same standard and raised us all with love in her hardworking heart. I knew she was aware that I haven’t spoken to Jonathan since we were young children and that I would soon be in the same boat if I accepted his offer.

“A lifetime of money doesn’t equal happiness.” She told me. “You should marry for love, not for any green or gold.”

I agree. I know this full well. I’m not one to be stingy or greedy by any means. I don’t want to be an actress in a picture show or model for a beautiful Channel garment. And though I do want love in my life, I want a secure future. I am the middle child of middle-class farmers. The best match I could have made besides this one was with a cattle farmer or a man who works in the stockyards on the south side of Chicago.

It’s selfish for me to do this not only for myself but to my mother as well.

But, I am here and like my family, I will be fiercely loyal to the man I will call my husband. If not, call me a bold-faced liar and take me and my words to the grave.

Jonathan Suh is not a bad man for who he prefers in the sheets. I know that and have never felt such a way to treat someone less of me if they do prefer the company of one sex over another. I will not break the promise I’ve made to him, but I cannot help but feel like a songbird trapped in a tight, metal cage for the decision I’ve made to help him.

Due to the poor weather Chicago has currently come down with, the wedding has been postponed until further notice.

When I wired my family to tell them the news, my mother answered. I was a bit more than surprised that she almost sounded relieved when I told her the news. I promised I would wire soon and my younger sisters begged me to take them to the city to go shopping at Marshall Fields. My father sounded passive at first when the telephone wire was transferred to him by my youngest brother after he told me the family cat, Cheshire, had gone missing.

Truth be told, I am also more than happy to exhale a breath and not worry about someone questioning me about my upbringing. Or having Mrs. Suh and the don of high-class ladies and waist-coated men galloping around every breath I take.

I can finally relax, I think as I pull out a book in the study as Jonathan reads the Chicago Tribune on the couch across the way from me. We get along well, I realize. Silence suits us both. No tricks, not faking our way through hordes of important people. We have to conserve and save our energy for when we face the people mercilessly wanting to know everything and anything about us, good ole’ Jonathan and I...

No, not Jonathan anymore… I am to be his wife, and he...my…

I peer at him from over my book on flowers, losing interest in the pages.

Can I really pretend we are to be an item forever? Will one of us crack or slip up? It seems like we are stuck in a circle now, both of us floating in a pool of choices we will surely drown in.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Someone knocks at the door, plucking me from my fever of thoughts. I fully peer over the pages in my hands, pretending like I was in fact engrossed in the origin story of an author I enjoyed as a girl.

“Enter.” Jonathan says without skipping a beat, not looking up from his black and white ink. His eyes scan the pages, following the drumming beat of the grandfather clock next to the roaring fireplace. But, now that I study him closer, I’m unsure if he was actually reading or just musing to himself like I was moments ago.

“The post, sir.” Butler James reports as he opens the door, my handmaiden Emily gliding up to us with a silver plate in her hands.

“Thank you, Emily.” Jonathan gives her a half-smile as he takes the single envelope off the tray, slicing it open with trepidation.

I look at the blood-red colored wax seal as he flips the paper, revealing a knight chess piece glaring upside down at me.

Jonathan scans the letter passively at first, his orbs lazily scanning the pages, then suddenly his eyes ignite with rage behind them. “No.” He says softly, red flushing to his handsome face. He rips the paper up into shreds then, aggression and hatred oozing from every pore for some unknown reason. He gets up as he throws the scraps in the fire with vigor as butler James, Emily, and I all stare at him like he’s grown a second head. “Don’t you dare go.” He warns me, irises blaring with unmeasurable loathing. “Those people are dangerous.” Jonathan practically snarls as he exits the room in a fit of rage, stomping down the hall as we look on stunned and slack-jawed at what had just happened.

From what I can tell, Jonathan isn’t one to get upset easily or lash out so that letter must have set him off. But what could it have been?

It really has sparked my curiosity, that’s for certain.

Where wasn’t I supposed to go and who was so dangerous?

I got the answer the next day as I read a book about traveling the jungles of South America.

“Miss!” My handmaiden whispers like a hiss as she enters the study. “Miss!”

“Yes, Emily?” I smile, putting my book down as she flutters to my side in a nervous frenzy. “What is the matter?”

“I snagged this from the post, miss.” She hands you the letter you saw the previous day with Jonathan, the one that he got enraged over. “Please open it quickly, miss, before the butler spots it! They want us to destroy anything with this seal on it!”

I do as I am told, opening up the letter addressed to both Jonathan and myself with the odd wax seal to find an invitation inside.

You Are Cordially Invited To Participate In:

THE WONDERLAND BALL

A Masquerade Party To Determine The Next “Alice”

For Directions Follow Us Down The Rabbit Hole

Knock Thrice For The Door Mouse To Let You Inside

Cheers,

The ‘Mad Hatter’ & Company

“How curious...” I muse as my eyes trail over the letter over and over, wondering what has Jonathan all in a panicked rage. “Well, I don’t even know where “The Rabbit Hole” is so I shan’t be going.”

“Tis’ a speakeasy, Miss.” Emily says her eyes wide as she reads the paper with you. “They say it’s the most fun one in all of downtown!” She giggles. “Shall I fetch you a gown for the ball?”

“No.” I shake my head with a small smile, hanging her back the letter. “If Jonathan said he doesn’t want me to go, I won’t.” I pick up my book as she slightly deflates, wanting to paint me up for the festivities I was invited to. “Please burn this now, Emily, so you don’t get in trouble.”

“Right away, Miss.” Emily bows a little before she heads out of the room, leaving me to daydream in the middle of the study in peace.

“How long must we wait?” Jungkook pesters Seokjin tirelessly who looks down from his wooden pedestal in the back room of the very peculiar club. “I am afraid a letter and her dreams are not going to cut it.” Jungkook snorts, frustration flashing in his red eyes.

“Mm, yes…” Seokjin rubs his chin with his white gloved hand, “Johnny boy has been hiding our little Alice away from our prying eyes, hasn’t he?”

“Yes!” Jungkook stomps his foot like that of a child, fists balled into tight fists at his sides. “And I was promised a maiden for all the hard work I’ve done for you!”

Seokjin laughs darkly then, the sound echoing off the walls of his private chambers. “Jungkook, I’m not sure if you understand that poisoning people and taking out a few smaller families in our beloved city is considered hard work.” He stops then, Seokjin’s usually light voice dripping with malice when he says, “But, I suppose this is one way to end the Suhs and get the last jewel on the crown you are desiring in your attempts to rule the city.”

“Is everything in place for the ball?” Jungkook grits his teeth as he stares up into the man who could end him in one go, but is choosing to help the young gangster. “Your magic won’t fail us now?”

Seokjin winks at him, spending him a flying kiss as he says, “It's going to be dreadfully delightful.” Ending the Suhs, managing to take out some more people in big crime families in Chicago, and adding one more perfect woman to his growing collection of pawns.

Sure, he was mad and about to destroy several lives in the process, but hell if he wasn’t half brilliant and good looking while doing so.

“Mr. Jeon!” I gasp as I peer at the man at my penthouse doorstep, covered in white flakes of heavy, wet snow sticking to his black trench coat and bowler hat. Everyone, even most of the maids were out this afternoon which is why I find myself in front of the door to the penthouse.

“Good evening, Y/L/N.” Jeon Jungkook smiles as he looks down at me earnestly. “Is your future husband not at home?” He whispers as he looks around the empty foyer, red-rimmed eyes glancing over the dim electric lights in the hallway.

I flush. My mind was hazy remembering my kiss with him and the other man that is never far away, Kim Seokjin, from the depths of my dreams. My dreams need to leave me be or I may turn into a codfish with the way they keep my head spinning. They haunt me so, the way my brain demands my nightmares to be replayed over and over like this.

“I’m afraid not, he said he’d be out for the night, taking care of something important at the office.” I say with a fake sigh, shaking my head. Truthfully, he’s been acting very strange lately and I can't quite put my finger on the reason for his odd behavior. Ever since he got that letter… Come to think of it, I haven’t seen any post since that strange night. I’ll ask Emily about it in the morning.

“I see.” Jungkook says softly. The grandfather clock chimes from the sitting room and I am suddenly aware of what time it is. I’m severely underdressed in my baby blue lounge attire, completely ill-prepared for meeting company. Books about faraway lands with princes and kings were the only thing occupying my time this evening and I’m embarrassed to even think that. “In that case, your outfit will just have to do, I suppose…”

Jungkook suddenly steps closer to me in one long stride, closing the gap between me and him. My heart skips a beat, his pupils dilate, my words run dry as he snakes one arm around my back, the other holding my chin with his thumb and forefinger.

“Mr. Jeon-” I stammer, unable to call for help, now that this man has me in his grasp.

“I have been willing you to come and follow me, to give into your darkest desires, but still you resist me.” The young man hisses down at me, brows knit with confusion. “You are the only thing anyone talks about and I cannot stand it any longer.” My mouth hangs open. His nostrils flare as he makes his move. “You will be mine. Not locked away in this tower while Johnny is out and about with another man. You will be our new Alice.”

Before I can say anything, he pours a vile from his pocket into my mouth, holding it above my arms so I can’t smack it away. It tastes like roast turkey and strong alcohol and I try to claw and get away but I cannot as Jungkook holds my mouth open; my tongue feels numb and my arms feel like jelly, going limp in Jungkook’s arms. The only thing I can remember before completely blacking out is the little tag on the side of the bottle that says “DRINK ME”, tied with a pink ribbon hanging from the tiny glass and the smell of his cologne which reminds me of musk with a dash of black pepper.

Faint sounds of brass and strings pull me from my unconscious state in a flurry.

My brain is working hard, producing series and strings of thoughts. Why did Mr. Jeon Jungkook do that to me? Does Jonathan know where I am? In the same breath, where am I? What was that drink? Have I been poisoned? I look at myself on the red heart-patterned bedsheets. I look fine. There is no sign or feelings that I’ve been harmed, no bruises, and most importantly of all, there is no blood. There is no indicator at all that I’ve been harmed at all, which makes me sigh in relief.

But still, where have I been taken? This surely is not a room in the Suh residence.

A room with no windows, a giant bed in the middle of the room, large wooden pedestals with various wax candles lit drip down the sides surround me, red velvet curtains drape the walls making the warm room seem even more dim, and a wooden swing all decorate the space I find myself trapped in.

I can feel the color drain from my face when I realize that I’ve been here before. In fact, I’ve been here many, many times - almost every night. Not in the flesh but in my dreams. The only thing that is missing are the two men I see every night…

All the little hairs on my body stand at alert, worry coloring my thoughts, and I feign a small gasp in the large room.

With a lump in my throat and my heart thumping so hard I fear it might try to escape my chest, I run from the room.

My blue nightgown flutters behind me, time seems to slow as my bare feet carry me through the rooms from my dreams - though it’s backwards this time. I dash like a mad person, twirling and twisting my way through the room with mirrors on every side, seeing myself panting like a dog running so hard in the reflective glass. Though, I am happy to see I have no scratches upon my face either. I run through the room with clocks hanging all over the walls chiming and ticking at different times, springing through the belly of a giant, tall grandfather clock. I trip over the hems of my dress in the room with a long table in the middle which appears to stretch on for miles in this long room. There are various tea sets, cups, and pots along with tea cakes and sweet treats placed in a perfectly chaotic mess on the table as the eyes of various animal heads stare at me from their places hanging on the walls.

As I shimmy through the small door leading to the room with the walls full of water and sea creatures from the ocean, I pause my panting and sputtering as I spot Mr. Jung Jaehyun with his back pressed up against the glass. He is moaning, panting himself, a masquerade mask dangling in his hand, legs wrapped around the waist of a tall man in a vest who is rolling his hips sensually into his. My eyes widen as I figure out what the two of them are doing quickly and avert my attention. My thighs rub together, a strange fire grows in my lower abdomen, and I know I shouldn’t be looking but there is nothing but pure bliss on Mr. Jung’s face.

I can’t stop, I remind myself as my feet continue to carry me through the rooms I know so well.

Slinking away across a far wall full of lobsters without being caught, I hear Mr. Jung Jaehyun mewl one singular name, “Johnny!” I want to turn around, catch my “future” husband's side profile as he makes love to another man, confirm it’s him, but my mind flashes back to meeting Jaehyun for the first (and only) time and how they touched each other so fondly. Jungkook’s words ring in my words as I hear laughing coming from beyond the rooms filled with tanks and gilled beasts.

Keep going. I can make it out of this place from my nightmares.

The next room is filled with more people, though it’s hazy at best in here. There are giant hookah pipes in the middle of floor cushions, people with and without masks on touching each other so unabashedly, some naked, half-nude, or still in their ball gowns all laying over each other in a pleasure-filled party I was slightly jealous I haven’t been invited to.

“Ms. Y/L/N?” A deep yet clear baritone purrs over the sounds of jazz music and groans of love-making. I turn my head to his voice, feet skidding to a halt as I look at Mr. Kim Namjoon in his half-naked glory, navy blue silk robe hanging off his shoulders exposing a lovely chest, half-lidded eyes tracing my form like I am a piece of delicate meat he wishes to indulge in. “What are you doing without your mask?” He snaps his fingers, chuckling lightly as he takes another drag of his long silver pipe. “Twins, get her a mask!”

“Where am I?” I query as I feel the presence of two figures slowly approaching me out of the dim haze. “Who are you people?” It feels wrong to be here, to witness this. It doesn’t feel right. I feel out of place and my body is begging me to run and my legs tremble like a fawn.

His brows furrow as he takes the tube out of his mouth, blowing smoke rings in my face. “Who are you to question me, Y/N?” He snickers as the “twins” catch my arms, placing a mask over my face as I struggle. “You are but another “Alice” to me. Take her to the ball, you two. The rabbit and the hatter are dying to see her, I’m sure.” They tie the mask around me successfully, leading me out of this room into the next one which I know is the one where the floor is a giant chess board.

“Please,” I plead with the good looking twins who march on like the loyal soldiers to this strange cause, “what is all this?” The music and the chatter and maniacal laughing is growing louder as we prance down the hallway with portraits of people who are dressed in all white and all red. “I just want to know…”

“Suppose we ought to tell her?” The taller of the two says after a moment of silence between the three of us.

“Suppose we ought not to.” The shorter one shakes his head as he carries on in the quest to take me somewhere. “Boss will be mad.”

“You are to be the belle of the ball.” The taller one says with a viscous boxy grin.

“The new “Alice”.” The short one with fluffy lips nods this time.

“Everyone keeps saying that, but I don’t know what it means?” I say as I hold my breath, about to waltz into the strange chess-board-like room.

“The most beautiful, wonderful, talented, special, magical-” The taller twin rambles on.

“The most perfect woman at The Wonderland Ball is called “Alice” until the next one.” The shorter one states softly as he inhales a giant breath. They both let me go, pushing me forward as the drapery of the simple heart-patterned curtain gives way and I am standing at the top of a grand staircase while hundreds of people from below all gasp and stare up at me.

As soon as I regain my footing a spotlight hits me and causes me to shield me eyes away from the bright light bearing down upon me. The upbeat music falls silent and I am acutely aware that I am standing here in my loungewear and not properly dressed to be at the forefront of attention this evening.

“And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for!” The voice that makes my hair stand up on end purrs as his lush lips soothe the microphone on the little stage they’ve set up for the jazz band to play on. Kim Seokjin, my eyes lock with his which dance with mischief, his smile greedy, dressed to the nines in a rich green suit. “The crowning of the belle of the ball, the apple of all our eyes, the one that shines brighter than anyone in the picture shows, Ms. Y/N Y/L/N!”

A roar of cheering, clapping, and brass music erupts as a white haired-man with a stretched, gummy smile that doesn’t fade takes my hand and leads me down the black and white staircase. The noises seemingly die in my ears as the man on my arm says nothing, grins like a cat about to catch a mouse in its claws. Time slows, people moving and waving at me become a blur as I see who is waiting at the bottom of the staircase.

Mr. Jeon Jungkook.

The man on my arm notices how tense I am and he ever so slightly turns his head and says to me in a deep voice, “They are not going to harm you. Jungkook is infatuated with you.” My cheeks heat up. “Seokjin is helping him accomplish his dreams because he signed his life away to the servitude of others for as long as he shall live.”

“Signed his life away?” I breathe, eyes never leaving Jungkook in a white waistcoat.

“You can’t get something for free in this world.” The cat-like man growls as we are almost there. “You’ve heard of an eye for an eye, correct?” I node slightly. “A soul of servitude so he can produce strange magic, according to him and the Red Witch of Underland.”

My heart nearly stops realizing what has happened. “The devil?”

“Bingo, babe.” The cat-man chuckles a deep rasp, sliding his arm away from mine. “Have fun.”

“Now you kids have fun chasing rabbits!” Seokjin’s voice crackles through the microphone. “Everyone, enjoy the last few hours of the wonderland ball!” More hooting and hollering echoes in the building as I am exchanged into Jungkook’s strong arms.

“I thought you’d never make it.” He smiles from under his white mask at me. He takes my hand and leads me to be embraced on the dance floor. Seokjin smirks at us as he begins to sing a popular pop song everyone swoons at.

“Would you like to tell me what this is all about?” I query with a sneer on my lips. “Why am I here? Why have you poisoned me?”

“I have not nor would I ever harm you.” Jungkook grips my waist tighter. “I merely gave you a strong sedative so that I could bring you to our wonderful palace.”

“Why?” I question as he twirls me around his outstretched arm.

“Because from the moment I bumped into you, you have been the only thing consuming my mind.” He earnestly tells me, sorrow coating his eyes. “I’m not sure what trap Johnny has ensnared or tricked you in but I very much hate seeing him lock you away from the world.”

“You’re wrong.” I state angrily, glaring at him.

“He doesn’t care about you. He likes to frolic about with diplomats’ sons, not farmers’ daughters.” Jungkook smiles at me.

“That’s not true…” I mumble, my eyes looking away from his red-rimmed ones boring down upon me. “I-I am marrying Jonathan for my own personal reasons.”

“Oh, ho?” Jungkook softly chuckles, leaning over, turning my gaze back to him as he gently caresses my cheek. “Do you really believe that, darling?”

“I do...I do! I-I came here willingly.” I tremble, my facade I’ve been trying to convince myself of this whole time crackling under the pressure of his words. “I l-love…” My words linger as I look beyond Jungkook, looking up to see, “...Jonathan…” walking toward myself in the middle of the dance floor.

“Jeon!” Jonathan says, Mr. Jung Jaehyun trailing behind him, eyes wide and scared when they find mine. The male in the waistcoat holding me turns his head to the noise, the brass music climaxing, the gasps of people Jonathan is stepping between couples dancing in the soft electric light from above - I feel like my heart is going to burst. My future husband pulls his arm back, fists clenched, ready to hurt Jungkook, and with an exhale I close my eyes fearing the worst was about to ensue.

The electric lights in the strange ballroom give out in the same second.

People scream all around me, a loud thud is heard and I feel like something unexpected is about to occur, the atmosphere heavy and full of invisible pressure.

“Release the jabberwocky!” A voice echoes as chaos ensues.

“Come with me.” A voice purrs, ripping me away from Jungkook’s arms. I feel almost empty as shouting and yelling break out in the middle of the dance floor. “I will protect you, Y/N, my crown jewel.” My stomach pits hearing him say my name, tickling my ear like the serpent that led Eve to eat the apple of her demise.

Kim Seokjin.

With a snap of his fingers, we are back in the room I started out this evening in and where my dreams always have me end at. I land on the bed in a huff and he ends up sitting upon the swing, looking at me with a triumphant smirk on his luscious lips. There is a certain air about him now that doesn’t seem so threatening, so serious now for some reason. Perhaps it’s him sitting upon the swing like that of a child? I haven’t the slightest clue.

“Where am I?” I demand, glowering at Seokjin from across the way.

“Curiosity often leads to trouble, my dearest Y/N.” Seokjin chuckles darkly, eyes roaming my body, a knowing look on his features. “I think before your marriage you are looking for a little trouble, if you catch my drift.”

Trouble…

My mind completely spirals remembering the scenes of people entangled with one another, their mouths working in tandem with each other, their slippery pink tongues entwined in a passionate battle for dominance. Mr. Jung Jaehyun’s face twisted in pleasure, moaning and mewling as his lover - my future husband - was thrusting vigorously.

A lightbulb finally goes off in my head.

“You want me to give into you both then my dreams will end?” My voice shakes as I query to Seokjin who continues to lightly push back and forth on the swing. “Then you will let me leave?”

His eyes flicker with a hungry vigor to them, gleaming in the dim candlelight. “Precisely.” His soft voice cuts the atmosphere like a sharp blade, leaving me with a chill radiating down my spine. “Let’s have some fun, “Alice”.”

“As long as you promise I am to be set free from all of...this.” I gesture around the room as he makes a come hither motion with his fingers at me.

“You have my word.”

Somehow, I don’t believe him, but I am desperate for any way out of this wretched place I can find.

So, I will use the body I was blessed with to the fullest extent.

I am a loyal woman. I step toward the man on the swing, my hands coming up to the ties around my chest and my waist. His eyes spark with a ravenous hunger in the depths of his orbs. I know that I am not doing a decent thing. Seokjin snaps his fingers again, all his clothes disappearing but his green top hat, vanishing before my very eyes. I know I am more than what I am succumbing to right now. But my stomach does feel hot and my thighs rubbing together is making me feel faint for some reason. My garments fall to the floor in a soft patting sound and I lose my breath in the same moment.

Don’t tell me I actually want this…?

I stand in front of him on the swing and I can’t help but bite my lip as my eyes roam his pale figure, tracing down his collarbones to his sculpted abdominal muscles he has been hiding. Did he sell his soul to the devil to become handsome too I wonder?

“So beautiful.” He revels looking at me unabashed, a wolfish grin spreading across his pretty face. Part of me wants him to touch me, to caress the underside of my breast, to trace the outline of my hips with his fingertips, but he doesn not.

I have to remind myself this isn’t for me. This is for the man that has been tormenting me.

“Get me ready for you.” Seokjin commands, smirk still spread across his face. I comply, dropping to my knees to be faced with a large member swinging forth from the middle of his legs on the swing. “And you will address me as “Sir”, understand?”

“Yes, sir.” I respond, biting my lip as I look from his eyes to his member once more.

“Suck.” He chuckles lightly, pointing to his middle and I can’t help but follow this simple instruction.

I don’t tease him, though I’m not really sure I know what I am doing in the first place. I swirl the flat of my tongue over his mushroom-tipped head several times. He moans in response, his hands coming off the swing’s ropes to hold my hair from my face as I swallow him further down my wet cavity. My middle aches and pulses, empty, missing something as I steady myself against Seokjin’s thighs.

“Good little girl.” Seokjin hums, his sound voice making me feel appreciated. The sound vibrating through to my own middle, making me groan around him.

I bob my head up and down his long length, enjoying the way he hums and gasps in response to my efforts. It’s a little hard to breathe I think as I continue my pace, nose hitting Seokjin’s pubic bone, smelling the most intimate part of him.

My dominant hand grabs his member at the base, working him in tandem with my mouth. Up and down his thick member I go, reveling in every twitch and rumble that flies out of his throat. The swing starts to sway with my rhythmic movements, bobbing him back and forth with vigor, tears climb to my eyes. The tip of him hits the back of my mouth, making me gag and choke on his wonderful cock. The heat was pooling in the middle of my stomach and I fear I am going to lose my mind. I pick up the motions of my mouth and hand, tears skating down my pinkened cheeks, his grip tightening around the base of my skull, digging into my scalp.

It burns… But, I also enjoy it. This feeling...so wet and tight and I feel so evil and sinful but the pleasure is driving me mad.

“Baby girl.” There’s warning in his tone as I pop off his cock in an instant, looking up to him with big worried eyes. His head was leaned back, not focused on looking directly at myself, but the feeling of my lips and fingertips. “Up.” He commands once more, head twisting back to a comfortable position to stare at me.

I scramble to my feet, missing the feeling of him in my mouth already, not to mention aching for him in the middle of my legs. I rub my thighs together for some easy friction, knowing that it won’t help me much at this point.

Seokjin moves his hand to stroke against his giant member in his palm and I lock my orbs in place on the slit of his cock where a clear liquid was oozing out. My mind is truly hazy at best, as I just stand there and watch him stroke himself up and down in a lazy fashion. I bite my lip once more.

I do want this. I am almost ashamed to admit that I want this man.

“Are you going to be good and let me use you?” Seokjin’s dirty words make my middle pool and contort with more of a raging fire.

“Y-Yes, sir.” I say again, cheeks hot and damp from sucking his cock moments ago.

His nostrils flare, his cock twitches in his grasp as he motions to sit upon his middle. “I bet you’re so wet for me.” He chuckles, smile darkening with his words.

Seokjin eases me down on his thick member, my hole so wet, so slick, allowing him to stretch my clenching walls in an easy motion. I gasp, eyes popping out of my head. My nails dig into his shoulder blades, back arching with his giant, twitching dick tight inside of me. I wrap my legs around his lean waist, his pale skin flexing in the candlelight with his movements as he stills, letting my hips sink down into the base of his cock.

“Baby girl.” Seokjin purrs, breath tickling my ear as he throbs inside of me. “I need you.” He growls, littering the crook of my neck with sloppy kisses. He positions us just so on the swing, readying us to begin when he deems necessary.

“P-Please use me, s-sir-r!” I mumble in the base of his neck, feeling high on this pleasure-filled pain.

“I live to serve.”

I gasp as he starts moving his hips inside of my center, bucking up into my body with a fevered pace instantly. The swing moves back and forth and I feel like the motion is going to make me feel his body sliding in and out of me too well. I cling to him for dear life, my grip surely bruising him or harming him in some way as he slides in and out of my slicked out center at a brutal rhythm.

Tears find my eyes again as he nips at my neck, marking me up with tender love bites. I’m a howling, moaning mess, losing my sanity. I am finally full of Seokjin’s girth, filling me up beyond desire.

Seokjin kisses my lips then in his, melting our mouths together in a hurry. He holds my face in his palms, grunting and groaning for me, and only me. His tongue enters my mouth in search of something unknown, moaning into my lips laced together with his hot mouth connected with my pink tongue. He rolls his saliva coated tongue into mine in haste, need seeping into my senses, consuming my thoughts as he thrusts up in me, using the swing as a propellant to ease us forward and backward.

“Feels...so-o..good~!” I moan in between our passionate kisses.

Seokjin just growls like a feral animal in response. The tip of his cock kisses my cervix continuously, brushing past a spot inside of me that instantly makes me quake. He rockets himself against me, rutting his body against my core in sync with his hips slamming into mine. Seokjin expels filth from his mouth about filling me to the brim with his seed, seeing my stomach swollen and full of his children, his warm breath hitting my ear making me shudder in response.

I can’t focus, my climax getting ready to pop at any moment. Wet noises fill the dark room, as Seokjin’s rough speed of his length in and out of my molten, wet center continues. My erect nipples swirl on his pale chest, circling quickly as he bounces me up and down his giant cock, swinging through the air like some sexual trapeze artist.

“Are you going to be good to me?” He asks me, smirk present in his tone, pace almost blinding now as he pushes in and out of me with a need so heavy and strong I can practically smell it rising from his skin. “Are you going to let me fill you up, my little doll?” Seokjin snarls into my skin.

“Pleaseeeee!” I practically scream, eyes flying open as he hits my center at just the right spot that makes me see white.

“Ah-ah!” He tsks. “What do we say?”

“Please, sir!” I mewl and gasp, thighs quaking in his hold, my juices squelching out of me as he continues to thrust into my sensitive molten core. “Seokjin!” I cry while he growls into the scorching skin of my neck inhaling sharply as he slams his hips into my shivering body. “Sir!”

Seokjin grunts, cock spurting his seed into me with a need so raw, so feral he finds his footing hard to maintain on the swing, stilling us from moving about, holding my hips tightly down upon him. He sucks harshly on my skin as he too shudders and grunts, biting down on the crook of my neck, stretching my clenching walls around his member as he fills me with his hot white seed.

My cries of pleasure fill the small room, my pleasure-filled haze coming to a close as Seokjin shifts us - still joined together - to the bed in the middle of the room. I hold onto Seokjin as he keeps his seed inside of me, feeling like I just had the ride of my life on top of him. My climax dies down, my first high fading away, fog around my brain being lifted temporarily as my nails rake over shoulders I’ve definitely marked up.

A cool, damp towel appears with a wave of his arms, stroking my middle with it delicately cleaning up the mess I’ve made. “How does it feel to be connected with the devil?” Seokjin sneers as he pulls out of me, making my center ache and twitch for him.

My eyes grow wide and my lips part but before I can say anything Jungkook bursts in the room.

“Am I late?” Jungkook pants as he looks awestruck by me on the bed.

“For a very important date.” I gaze back to Seokjin who is now fully dressed, smirking that soft, playful smile like he usually does at Mr. Jeon. “Don’t worry, I was just getting her ready for you, Jungkookie.”

Jungkook eyes him with narrowed orbs, but buys the lie Seokjin is selling and proceeds to strip himself of his white waistcoat. “What is on the menu tonight?” His red-rimmed irises bore into mine and I feel self-conscious suddenly. He circles the bed in the manner like that of a wolf would as he finishes stripping himself of any dressy garments, though his slacks remain on.

“The one you most desire out of everything in this world.” Seokjin purrs, stepping up to take his seat on his pedestal high above us.

Is he going to watch us?

“Fuck,” Jungkook growls, dropping to his knees in front of the bed suddenly. He pulls me closer to him by my ankles, throwing my thighs apart so my center is exposed to him in the rawest form. He stares at my glistening middle as I try to close my legs with a little, pathetic whimper.

“Don’t.” The rabbit-like man moans wantonly, holding onto my ankles loosely. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful, you know that, right?” His hands glide up my thighs achingly slow, holding me in pace for his eyes to ravage as they please.

The fire in my lower stomach has returned, hungry and ready to go for more.

His warm fingertips make it to my inner thighs, kneading the flesh there tenderly, so close to my throbbing core that I almost beg him with a cry to dip down into me, but I refrain, hanging on to every trace or brush of his hands against my scorching flesh.

“What do you want, my darling?” He groans into my inner thigh, lips ghosting my sensitive flesh there, inching closer to my heated skin with his upper body.

“Please.” I finally ask, begging, almost choking out the word, forgetting Seokjin watching us from above.

His dominant hand finally finds my nether lips, tracing them up and down with his two longest fingers but not exactly touching me where I am aching quite yet. “Please what?” He teases, stroking me up and down slowly, holding his feral gaze in mine, amber eyes seemingly on fire.

“Please, Jungko-“

He slaps my middle with little force or malice behind it, but I jolt, mewling aloud, wanting him to secretly do it again.

Jungkook goes back to tracing my lips in the middle of my body, smug smirk seated on his devilishly handsome face. “You are so wet, darling.” He slaps me again, though this time I want it more than I’d actually care to admit.

“Jung-” I choke on my words.

He slaps me again, this time with slightly more force behind his fingertips. I hiss out a breath, staring at him with my mouth slightly ajar, brows turned up, looking down at him with half-lidded eyes already.

“I have to have a taste.” He kisses my inner thigh as he slowly traces his thumb over my slicked out folds.

I let out a wanton cry as he hums into my thighs, growling low and deep. I swear there’s a smile in his voice as he works with his mouth and fingertip in tandem. “Mine.” He breathes, sucking on the sensitive flesh of my innermost thigh, marking me with a throaty growl.

“J-Jungkook..!”

I am a mess. I let loose a series of pants, breathless moans as he works my coil in the pit of my stomach tighter with every brush or groan he grants my hot body. I am melting under Jungkook’s touch, my body feeling sticky, arousal dripping from my middle while he circles my delicate clit.

His thumb was increasing his pace of gliding over my bundle of nerves, still slow, still making my breathing become erratic, but the desire for Jungkook to do more was driving me insane. I’ve had a taste of sex and look at me wanting more. I didn’t know if I could be in the position to ask for more. But I wanted him to place those perfect, beautiful sinful lips on my molten core. Jungkook’s breath fans over my middle as he continues to stroke me down there.

I miss the twitch confined to the middle of his pants from the man watching us from above with eager need.

As if sensing my need, his tongue swipes a slow stripe through my folds, the cool of his muscle against my exposed center making me black out for a moment, the sensation far too much for me to bear with right now. His snort of laughter brings me back to reality as he swirls his pink tongue at my empty entrance.

Jungkook laps at my folds as if he is a starved man, hungry, desperate for his next meal. I keen, gripping onto the base of his golden torso as laps at me. I’d think grounding myself on top of Jungkook’s head would make me saner, gripping his strands of hair as he goes to town in my middle. But really, it makes me feel completely mad, like I’ve gone insane.

The feral, untamed animal-like noises that escape his throat drive me absolutely wild, my skin on fire with need and want. My nails cling to his scalp, dragging him closer to my middle as he ravages my core. He maneuvers his two longest fingers through the glossy slick, lubing his digits to breach my entrance.

“Jungkook!” I gasp, choking on my words as he makes a come hither motion with his fingers, splitting my velvet walls to open for him.

Jungkook swirls his tongue over my little pearl of sensitive nerves, lapping and sucking my flesh like he's never eaten a thing in his life. He continues his very audible growling and moaning, husk in his voice incredibly thick.

“Let go, baby.” He coos into my middle as I jolt and shake, his digits brushing past the most delicious spot deep inside of my clenching walls. “Give me your release.”

His words finally tip me over the edge.

I tighten my hold on him, gritting my teeth in the process. My head falls backward on the sheets, eyes screwed closed as Jungkook slurps every inch of my middle clean, not leaving anything to go to waste.

“Kookie,” I sputter out, the feeling of his tongue and fingers becoming too much for me. “I-I’m c-c-cumming-!”

As I say the last of my words, the world comes undone around me for the second time today, my tight coil finally popping. Blinding white stars coat my vision for a second, my body shivering and shaking as I drip out onto the flat of Jungkook’s tongue.

He laps up my sensitive hole up with more snarls, more feral noises escaping his body. Tears flow down my face as I unhinge my nails from his silky blonde strands, trying to push him away from my overly sensitive flesh with pathetic mewls of protest escaping my throat.

More. My brian prompts me to continue to sate my undying lust burning inside of me. I need more.

“Jungkook,” I beg while his tongue still explores my throbbing hole, giving my sensitive skin rapt attention. “Jungkookie. Please. I c-can’t.” I tug at his blinde hair gently, trying to get him to stop teasing me with his tongue.

He doesn't stop and I can only think of one thing to ask before I lose my damn mind with him between my thighs.

“Jungkook.” I shudder, high building up once more. “Please fuck me.”

Everything in the room stills, the only sound heard was our heavy breathing.

He looks up from my sensitive core, brows knit together as he looks into my eyes with such a passionate gaze of uncertainty. My juices were coating the bottom half of his face, his blonde hair is in a state of disarray, as he proceeds to slowly rise to his feet, looking over me on the bed.

“What?” He questions incredulously down at my fucked out form. Jungkook looks at me as if I am the most fragile thing in the world, as if I would burst into flames at any moment. “My darling, my love, there’s no going back if we-“

“I know.” I smirk up to the gorgeous gangster in all of the Windy City. “I want this too.”

His nostrils flare, his eyes widen, and his gaze softens. Jungkook looks down at me with something akin to lust, which makes my heart rate increase...

“Up.” He commands, raw husk pouring out of his tone as he starts to undo his pants, the zipper noise almost jarring in the quiet of the night.

I do as I’m told. I’ve fallen far down the rabbit hole now, I think as I shift on the bed. Standing was a little difficult as he’s just given me one of the best feelings I’ve ever had. I keep my eyes glued to Jungkook. His hands travel sensually down his tiny waist to his slacks he unbuttons. I am gasping, unable to take my eyes off the very beautiful sight of his thick cock bouncing, finally free from the confines of his dress pants. The tip was red and angry, a bead of precum adorning the slit of his mushroom-like head. He was long, girthy, and I want nothing more than it inside of myself at this very moment.

Jungkook grips the base of his cock with his hand while he steps out of his pants, giving his shaft a few pumps up and down while I watch with an open mouth.

“I’ve dreamt of this moment for so long.” He confesses softly, reaching for me with his free hand. I inch closer to him, gliding my hands over his defined body, admiring his lithe, yet sturdy frame. My fingers hungrily trace every ridge, every contour of his golden torso. Jungkook was so warm, so wonderful, and I am slightly kicking myself for not giving into him sooner. “To have you,” he continues, kissing up the side of my neck.

“Please.” I beg him again, eyes flickering back and forth between his.

“Turn around.” He leans in to kiss me with passionate need. His lips molding into mine as I cling to him for more. I taste my essence on his tongue which makes me whimper into his strong hold. “I’m going to fuck you now, my love.”

Again, I don’t need to be told twice as he guides me to where he wants me, bending me at the waist so my fingers dig into the unkept sheets below, my backside open and exposed to him.

“So pretty for me.” I hear the grin in his deep rumble. Jungkook slaps my bottom, granting him a hiss to escape my throat. I whine when he does it softly several more times, making my head soar.

I hear him spit before I feel the extra saliva lubricant coat my backside, the cool of his juices combined with mine was driving me up a wall.

“Jungkook!” I gasp.

He groans when I call for him, pushing his fat head of a cock at my aching, empty hole, wanting him to finally join the two of us.

“Darling,” he sounds like he’s straining to hold back. “Baby, please, fuck!” He grunts, splitting my walls inch by agonizingly slowly. I moan as he stretches me wide, entering me like he owns me.

He thrusts inside of me all the way with one snap of his hips suddenly. A cry leaves my lips along with a strangled one from the man inside of me. My eyes widen as I realize that he’s not going to go easy on me tonight, he’s going to fuck me on his terms. I was in for a wild ride this evening.

Jungkook leans the front of himself over my sticky back, pressing our heated flesh together more, growling to the outside shell of my ear, nipping the flesh under my lobe while sliding in and out of me with a brutal pace he’s set.

“Baby…” he moans in my ear, the deep purr vibrating throughout his body making my breathing hitch and sob. His hips snapping into mine with a rhythm, I swear, no human man could ever achieve. Liquid was flowing down my eyes as the push and pull of Jungkook slamming his giant cock into my velvet folds repeatedly already had me tearing the sheets in two with my nails.

“Jung! Ah! Kook!”

Seokjin glides his hand over his cock from above the bed, matching the rhythm Jungkook’s hips produce, enjoying the wonderful show.

I gasp this over and over like a prayer falling from my lips. My eyes are squeezed shut, my body hot with the raw purpose to feel Jugnkook inside of my heated center. His cock pushes in and out of me at a fevered pace, making my vision blur, seeing far too many white stars.

My brain is fuzzy as he hits the spot inside of me that blinds me, pleasure swimming in my veins. My third climax was surely on the way.

“Baby,” Jungkook grunts, one of his arms snaking up my torso, his long fingers finding one of my bouncing breasts. He starts pinching my erect nipple, holding on to me tighter as we slide back and forth off of one another.

My coil was wound so tight, I don’t know if I’d be able to last much longer. Especially not with Jungkook’s fingers attaching to my hardened nipple, his lips to the crook of my neck, and his cock slamming in and out of my clenching middle with a fevered need.

He bucks into me faster, my walls clamping down on him, my coil about to pop, about to burst forth again. I can’t hold myself up any longer, my legs shaking violently. My knuckles are turning white with how hard I am clawing at the heart patterned sheets.

“Jungkook! I-“ I mewl, but I don’t get to finish my thought.

In a split second, Jungkook pulls out of my middle, flipping me over and letting me fall onto my back so I could be face to face with him. Jungkook climbs on top of me quickly, wanting to resume his feverish pace immediately, hunger and need in his amber gaze. He settles between my legs, pushing himself back into my slicked out center easily, restarting from where he last left off.

I gasp when he enters me, clinging to his shoulders, holding him while the lewd squelching noises in the room continue to grow, faster, louder. He grips onto my hips, guiding me at a blinding speed I didn’t know he could achieve. Is he a victim of the devil as well?

Sweat was pouring off our bodies, my brain unable to produce a sane thought as he grunts and moans my name, his red orbs never leaving my face as he rockets his cock into my folds like it was his job.

It happens again, the very right feeling deep inside of my body, the one that makes me grit my teeth, that makes me see hundreds of tiny white stars.

“Jung! Kook~!” I scream into the quiet room, tears flowing from my hues as I card my fingers through his blonde strands, trying to make a purchase on his roots.

My hands travel down his backside as he snarls, “I’m going to make you my wife! Not some wannabe from the Northside!” Jungkook huffs, his movements slowing down, one of his thumbs finding my folds again, circling my aching clit in hurry - a stark contrast to earlier. “I’m going to claim you as my own.”

Seokjin smiles like he’s just won the lottery, masturbating to the sight of both his clients intertwined, fucking onto each other with unbridled lust. He comes then watching his new toy’s back arch, breasts in the air, Jungkook’s frame pounding into her with hungry trepidation.

I grab onto the ample flesh of his bottom, feeling the world come tumbling around myself once more. Letting my body shake and quake on top of the sheets, my third orgasm taking me by force. I feel complete - feel whole for some reason. I am so completely taken aback with the storm rippling through my body in pleasureful tremors, one right after the other, I cannot even begin to breathe properly.

He lets a feral snarl rip through his body as he pumps into my leaking middle a few more times, my whole being consumed by Jungkook. He leans over me, sucking my neck colors of purples and dark reds and I scream as his cock swells inside of my velvet walls, releasing his own essence into my womb, holding him there like a vice grip as he spurts his seed deep inside of me.

Once our highs come to a close, I run my fingers through his hair, his throbbing cock still joined inside of my middle. We both pant, holding the other for dear life, finally together, and fulfilled with one other. Jungkook kisses along my jaw, moaning my name, telling me what an amazing baby doll I am as his cock finally softens inside of my aching cunt.

“Bravo.” Seokjin claps as he walks down the wooden stairs. “You both did very well!” He chuckles darkly. I squeak in surprise. I forgot he was there and I scramble to cover myself with the soiled sheets.

“Okay, Kim,” Jungkook says as he kisses my nose, pulling out and picking up my clothes and handing them to me. He dresses in his undergarments and dress pants quickly, buttoning them up as he turns to the man all in green. “You had your show.” I listen as I dress myself with haste, back turned to the two men. “I’ve done everything you’ve asked: invested the money overseas, gotten rid of the competition and family in this lovely city, got you a new “Alice”, and even let you watch us play ball. I think it’s time to set us free.”

“Yes,” the mad man snickers, darkness clouding his tone, “you both have served me well. But nobody is leaving my perfectly curated speakeasy.”

I turn around and my heart is dropping to the floor. Shock is written all over Jungkook’s face as I clench my jaw in guilt.

“But, I’m afraid you both made a deal with me, and I don’t give up my new toys so easily.” Seokjin caresses Jungkook’s face in his pale hand, while holding my gaze with a sense of gentle anger. “You can’t always get what you want. But hey, look on the bright side: at least you have each other.”

---

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this trip down the rabbit hole! Likes and reblogs are very much appreciated!

337 notes · View notes

jaws-and-canines · 3 years ago

Text

Bleeding Hearts

A Count The Days story. Content warning for strong bloody violence/gore, mild abelism, themes of death and murder.

---

Somehow, Kay thinks that the best way to get a man to listen is to corner him. But I invite him in anyways. Show him into the front room. Lock the front door again. Kick the draft excluder back into place. “I have office hours, you know.”

“It’s urgent,” he says, hanging up his coat. “I’m sorry.”

“Sure. As we all know, office hours are just a suggestion,” I say to him, nodding, and pour us both a glass of scotch, setting mine on the table by the armchair, handing his to him.

“It’s urgent, it really is.”

“I’d really appreciate it if you could not bother me when I’m at home, Jacob. Call me. Don’t just show up.” I sit down and gesture for him to sit on the sofa. “What is it?”

“Face to face is easier. And cheaper. Tomorrow, Haveter, the vote on moving on the camps outside the Meridian. I really need you to vote no on this one. I need you to veto it. You can. Please do.”

“And why the hell would I do that? It’s my vote, I called it. Why would I call a vote just to veto it?”

“There are peaceful solutions here that don’t involve shooting at civilians.” He licks his lips. “I respect you, General, I do, but these… decisions are unbecoming. The Tough on Crime Initiative… I think it needs to be rolled back. It’s horrific.”

“We’ve tried to be peaceful. If they set up camp in the clear zone they need to be removed.” I shrug. “The Initiative is a necessary piece of legislation. It’s not even cruel if you’re not a fucking bleeding heart. Which you are. What do you know about law and order?”

“I’m a politician.”

“And I’m a soldier. When you make decisions that you are unqualified to make, it’s my friends who die.”

“You’re not a soldier, Haveter, you’re a white-collar worker with an ego and a rifle. Let’s not kid ourselves! You’ve not been a soldier since they tore out your eye. They just keep you around out of pity.” He holds up a hand, raising his voice in exasperation. “It doesn’t always have to be me versus you. You’ve been so cruel lately and you weren’t always like that. I’m worried for your mental health and I’m trying to help.”

I stand up. “Do you want to say that again, Jacob?”

“It doesn’t have to be-”

“No!” I roar, and knock over the table, slamming my hand onto it, throwing the glass off it. The glass shatters on the floor and rolls away, broken, under the sofa. “Not that, you know it! Say that again!”

He takes a breath. “They keep you around out of pity and if you were at all brave you would hand in your notice and go and see a psychiatrist,” he says calmly. “I actually came to bring this up to you. Some of the other guys agree. Well, most of them. I think you need to take some sick leave and see a doctor.”

“What?” My nails dig into my palms. “What the fuck?” I snarl. How dare he. How dare he, how dare he, how dare he.

“Consider this an intervention. You’re not well. No self-respecting man would look at the things you advocate for and say that’s good! I’m doing great. I’m mentally in a great place.You’re clearly not in a good place,” he says, arms wide, beckoning me towards him. “You need help.”

“Oh, I hope you choke,” I spit.

“You and me can go down to see Davies and ask him to refer you to the psychiatric team-”

How dare he. How dare he insinuate any of this. I’m not insane, I’m not ill, sick, pitiful, none of that, none of that, how dare he insinuate otherwise.

“Get the fuck out of my house!” I scream. “Get out!”

He advances. Tries to grab my arm. “It’s okay-”

I shove him back. He slips, falls, looking up at me from my fireplace, clutching his head where he’s smacked it on the corner of the mantlepiece. For a moment, I stand above him, breathless, furious, and all I see is that look in his eyes.

I throw myself on him. Grab him by the throat. Barely know what I’m doing as I scream in his face, as he claws at my arms, as I pull my weight against his and swing his head down against the hearth. One hit and he’s coughing up blood onto my shirt. Two and he’s groaning and crying and whimpering and there’s blood pouring from his nose. It’s just pouring. Three, four, a sickening crunch, at first sharp and dry, then wet and muffled, he goes limp. The blood runs like a river from the caved-in side of his skull. Five, the twitching starts. Six. It stops.

I let go. Stumble back, staring at my hands. They’re shaking.

Look at Kay. Slumped over my hearth in a rapidly spreading pool of his own blood. Back to my hands. “Oh, Christ,” I howl. I barely sound human. It tears from my throat and I taste blood. I scream and I sob and I cry but the words just tear through it all. Hands pressed to my face, throwing my head back.

“Oh, christ, they’ll fucking hang me for this!”

I slump onto my side, staring at the wooden floor. Stare at the blood down my sleeves, down my front, everywhere, everywhere, what do I do, what do I do? What have I done and what do I do?

“Oh, God, what have I done?” I sob, and then I have to stop, gasping, spitting bile onto the floor, propping myself up with shaking hands. I roll back over to lean on the wall, not bothering to wipe my mouth. Just a snivelling wreck, ruined suit, hair covered in blood, shaking and feverish. In disbelief of what I’ve done.

Because how could I? How could that happen? How could I have done that?

The pool of Kay’s blood stops spreading. Goes cold.

What have I done?

#count the days #whump #whump writing #original writing #haskell haveter #whumpblr #emotional whump #uhhh i have no idea #blood #gore #hi people who read my tags #i hope you enjoy me struggling here

14 notes · View notes

lumini-317 · 4 years ago

Text

Hello!

This will be my official “introductory” post!

My real name is Erica, but I go by many names. My nickname repertoire includes but is not limited to: Lumi, Lumini, Cricket (I have a habit of rubbing my feet together, lmao), Jinx, Eri, Er, EriJoy, Sunbaeby, and Aceir (my real name but in alphabetical order).

This is my first ever Tumblr blog. I’ve had it for a while but have rarely posted anything, that along with the fact that I’m on mobile is kind of a mess so I apologize for mistakes and all that.

I have 3 older brothers, an older sister, and a younger brother.

I’m an ambivert. Sometimes I love hanging out with bigger groups of people, other times I dread it.

I’ve taken the “16personalities” test 4 times and all 4 put me in the “Diplomat” category, however I got “Advocate” (INFJ) 2 times, and “Protagonist” (ENFJ) and “Mediator” (INFP) 1 time each.

I am LGBTQ+. I’m asexual, aro+panromantic flux, and while I feel like I’m genderfluid, the changes are very subtle and so I sometimes just go with agender, gendervoid, or neutrois. It’s a lot less complicated that way. I’m ambiamorous, and also pronoun apathetic!

I love whump. I’ve loved it for as long as I can remember but only found the whump community maybe 3(?) years ago.

I also love K-Pop, C-Pop, J-Pop, and Asian dramas, mainly K-Pop and K-Dramas, though.

I’m a HUGE multistan. ATEEZ, SKZ, TBZ, EXO, BTS, Red Velvet, SHINee, iKON, MONSTA X, TWICE, TO1, WANNA ONE, SuperM, X1, MIRAE, Ciipher, Golden Child, Purple Kiss, BAE173, SF9, IU, ONEUS, ONEWE, The Rose, PIXY, LUCY, STAYC, WEi (which I pronounced as “way” for an embarrassingly long time), Dreamcatcher, Brave Girls, TXT, ENHYPEN, SNSD, KARD, AKMU, SHAUN, Gaho, NCT, GHOST9, 1team, SE7EN, Cross Gene, D1ce, AB6IX, CRAVITY, BLACKPINK, CIX, VIXX, f(x), 4Minute, CLC, YEZI, B.I, Wonho, (G)I-DLE, EVERGLOW, SEVENTEEN, BROOKLYN, Ha Hyunsang, DAY6, GOT7, Teen Top, BAP, TREASURE, UNIQ, etc! It goes on, far longer than I can list. I am also very much against fanwars, they disgust me.

I’m also a HUGE animal lover, and a big softie. I can’t even squish insects. I don’t care that they can’t feel pain and don’t experience emotions, I just can’t bring myself to. I make it my mission to save any type of animal I come across. I find toads in our koi pond and immediately pick them out and take them to a safe place. I help turtles across the road. I got a mouse out of a puddle and revived it, releasing it when it was healthy enough. I saw a snail on a piece of wood that was going to be thrown on a fire and carefully pulled it off and put it somewhere else. So far I’ve found 5 stray cats (Piper, Toothless, Felix, Kai, and Kit Kat—all were found as skinny, sickly kittens) and took them in, raising them as my own. I rescued a chipmunk from certain death-by-cat. I’ve even saved a few baby raccoons, ducklings, lizards, spiders, and snakes in my time. And I’ll keep doing so for as long as I live.

I love writing, drawing/sketching, and painting, however I’m not confident that I’m good at any of those things, lmao. I mean, I don’t think I’m the worst, but my finished “works” often leave me unsatisfied with my “skills”. But of course, that won’t stop me from trying to improve!

I’m a maladaptive daydreamer. This can cause issues in some places while helping me out in others. On one hand, it makes doing chores and such kind of difficult. Like one time I had to take care of my dad’s pigeons while he was fixing our shed and one time he pointed out how slow I was with the chores. His words were something along the lines of, “I’m already almost done with what I have to do and you’re still working with the pigeons.” Also, it (and maybe ADHD if I do have it?) made school a nightmare for me. But it’s also helpful because then during church it’s really easy to keep myself occupied while the pastors go on about their Magical Sky Daddy™’s son throwing a tantrum and killing a figtree because it didn’t have any figs and how that story should “challenge” us or something.

The characters in my daydreams are weird, though. They merge and separate with each other to make different characters depending on the situation. Most of them don’t have definite genders. Only a handful of them have names because they’re always merging and separating like some kind of Shadow Clone Masters or something. Stuff like that.

One of my characters is for sure a demi-boy, though, and his name is Kyler.

I brought this up because I was watching The Andy Griffith Show and Andy was giving Opie a lecture on how many poor kids there are in the world and used the ratio “one and a half boys per square mile”. Opie then says that he’s “never seen a half a boy before”. Kyler just sort of pops into (fake) existence, jumps off the couch, and throws his arms in the air while saying, “Half a boy, right here!” I burst out laughing. Thankfully it didn’t seem weird, since my parents started laughing at Opie and thought that I was just laughing at it, too.

Any-who.

If I daydream while I’m standing, I’ll often pace and gesture with my arms while moving my lips. Sometimes I’ll even whisper. If I’m sitting down, I usually fidget a lot (such as pick at my shirt and rub my feet together), stare into space, and move my lips or whisper. My family sometimes ask me, “Why are you whispering?” Or, “What are you grinning about?” And I just shrug because I don’t know how to explain it to them without risking them calling someone to pray over me, lmao. I mean, I wasn’t even allowed to have imaginary friends because that was “evil”. When I was about 7, I told my parents about my imaginary unicorn friend and they gave me a lecture and “prayed over me”. It was embarrassing and awkward for me.

I’m suspicious that I might have ADHD, but don’t have the money to actually get a professional diagnosis. I’m also too scared to ask my parents about it.

Speaking of which, my family and I don’t see eye-to-eye. I mean, they don’t know it because I’m good at hiding it, and they think I agree with mostly everything they do but boy, is it a mess.

You see, they’re evangelical conservative Christians. “LGBTQ+ people are going to hell”, “ThE LeFt ARe eViL AnD ARe TrYiNg To BrAiNwAsh OuR ChiLdrEn”, “Trump was sent by God”, “Intersex is fake”, “Women must submit to men”, “You should get married no later than in a year or ‘the temptation’ to have sex might become too much”, the whole bit.

Meanwhile I’m over here with my (imaginary) pride flags, just existing as an agnostic leftist who wants everyone to have equal rights, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation, and would rather redo my horrifically atrocious kindergarten closing program role than pray to a god who (if they/he/she/it/whatever exists) gives cancer to kids and killed millions of innocent animals and people in the Bible.

But they have no idea that this is how I feel and now expect me to be baptized within the next month to show that I have “accepted Jesus Christ as my savior”. Yeah...that’s gonna be an awkward discussion...

Anyway, that’s just some things about me. Sorry that I got sidetracked a few times, lmao!

I look forward to posting more and maybe even making friends!

Thank you for reading (:

82 notes · View notes

yukaris-writing · 4 years ago

Text

"The Truth Untold" - Chapter 1

[Malleus Draconia x Female Idol!Reader]. After arriving in Twisted Wonderland with practically no money or anything to her name, [Name] decides to bravely enter Azul Ashengrotto's singing competition in hopes of winning a contract-free wish from him and saving herself and Grim from future poverty. Once she wins the competition and Azul grants her wish, [Name] has a strong determination to become Twisted Wonderland's next celebrity idol. However, she soon faces an uphill battle to fame and discovers that the idol life is not as easy as it seems. As she carefully treads into the idol world, [Name] also finds herself in a dilemma of falling in love with the Valley of Thorns' royal heir, Malleus Draconia. Will she ever be able to pursue a dreamy romance with the dark fae prince or will her idol life completely stand in her way? This is her truth untold.

“Hurry up, you guys! Mostro Lounge’s 1st Singing Above Sea Competition is about to start!” Grim exclaimed as he urged the first-year group to shuffle into the crowded Mostro Lounge on a Friday night.

“Jeez Grim, you’re awfully excited for a lame singing competition. What exactly was the prize again?” Ace asked with a yawn.

“Octavinelle’s dorm leader will grant the winner a single wish if they win SASC! No strings attached! [Name]’s gonna win and wish an endless supply of tuna cans for me!” Grim replied with a grin.

“That doesn’t sound so promising. Ashengrotto probably has something up his sleeve and the winner wouldn’t even know it.” Jack commented with a frown.

“Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves, Grim. I don’t even know if I’ll win,” [Name] muttered with a distressed sigh.

Ever since [Name] arrived at Night Raven College, madols were tough to come by. Headmaster Crowley had provided [Name] with the bare necessities, but it was evident that [Name] and Grim would need their own funds if they were to stay here while Crowley tried to find a way home for them. Well, that was if he would ever decide to make it a priority, in the first place.

“Don’t worry, [Name]. It’s just a singing competition. It’s not going to be the end of the world if you don’t win. You’ll be fine.” Deuce reminded as he patted [Name]’s shoulder.

[Name] smiled at Deuce and nodded. “You’re right, I’ll try to enjoy myself. After all, it’s a Friday night with my friends! I do need a break from school too.”

As the first-year group found a table facing the glamorous and expensive stage in front of the glass aquarium, they suddenly heard a loud booming voice coming from the entrance of Mostro Lounge.

“Make way for Young Master Malleus Draconia! Stand aside, humans!” Sebek yelled out as the infamous Diasomnia quartet made its way across the threshold.

All eyes suddenly darted towards the imposing Diasomnia group, but Azul Ashengrotto quickly headed over to welcome them to his event. It was only after Azul showed them to a table did everyone resume their conversations or picked at their food once more.

“Ah, Diasomnia also came to this event? I never thought I would see them here.” Epel whispered as everyone’s eyes locked onto Malleus and his companions at their table.

“Right?! I can’t believe Tsunotarou is here! Now I’m even more nervous!” [Name] exclaimed with surprise. She didn’t think the dark dragon fae would ever come out to lively events such as this. And it didn’t help that she had a major crush on him and would now have to perform in front of him!

“I think all the dorm leaders were specially invited to this event. Ruggie-senpai said he would show up later with Leona-senpai. Apparently, Ashengrotto had promised them free appetizers.” Jack explained.

“That explains why Sebek rejected our initial invitation to come with us earlier. He wanted to escort his dear young master.” Ace mocked with a snicker.

“Vil-senpai and Rook-senpai are also here. I see them sitting at the corner table with Riddle-senpai and Trey-senpai. It seems as though they’re being greeted by the Leech twins.” Epel commented.

It was no use. This was going to be a very big event that everyone would talk about for days. But [Name] couldn’t shake off her nerves. Grabbing a glass of water on the table, [Name] chugged it down while accidentally spilling some of the liquid on Deuce’s lap.

“Oi, [Name]! Calm down! What are you doing?!” Deuce shouted as he reached for napkins to soak up the water on his pants.

“Fnah! The competition hasn’t even started yet and you’re already this nervous?!” Grim asked with shock as he jumped away and landed on Epel’s lap.

“Oya oya, is everything alright over here? Shall I bring extra towels for this little accident?” a smooth voice asked with a teasing tone.

Letting out unintentional gasps and screams, the first years were suddenly spooked by the Leech twins. Azul’s dynamic and threatening duo of eels had appeared out of nowhere, but they still held amused grins and gleaming eyes on their faces at the sight of the first years trembling before them.

“Ehehehe! Koebi-chan* looks so cute when she’s nervous! Are you signing up for the singing competition too? How about we do a duet? It’ll be fun~” Floyd airily voiced out as he leaned across the table to get a better look at [Name]’s petrified face.

“I think our precious Prefect has already signed up for the singing competition since yesterday, Floyd. See? Her name is on the list right here.” Jade pointed out as he showed the list to Floyd.

“Oho, Koebi-chan! You have a lot of competitors, ya know? Do ya think you’ll win? What are you gonna do if you win? What do ya want to ask from Azul?” Floyd questioned with a lopsided smile.

[Name] wasn’t sure when she was suddenly bombarded with Floyd’s pressing questions. Hypothetically, if she did win, what would she ask for from Azul? What could he grant her that would solve most of her problems here in Twisted Wonderland but wouldn’t backfire on her, as well? It was difficult to say at the moment when she didn’t even know if she would win the competition at the end of the night.

“I don’t know, Floyd-senpai. I haven’t thought about it yet. If you’ll excuse me, I need to run to the restroom.” [Name] said as she slipped away from the table and ran off from her friends and the Leech twins.

“Oh my, it seems you’ve scared off one of our daring competitors, Floyd.” Jade chastised lightly.

Floyd burst into a fit of laughter before turning to the first-year group. “Koebi-chan is sooo interesting~. I can’t wait to see what she’ll sing tonight! Right, Jade?”

“Yes, Floyd,” Jade replied with a chuckle before walking away from the stunned first-year group with his twin brother. They still had much work to do before the start of the competition.

Meanwhile, as [Name] tried to find her way to the restrooms, she was lost in her thoughts and felt a little queasy. She felt so much pressure to perform well for her sake as well as Grim’s. They were desperate for a wish from Azul that wouldn’t bind them to one of his greedy contracts.

“What am I going to do? Am I even ready for this?” [Name] said to herself before she bumped into something tall and firm.

Rubbing her forehead from the pain and gaining back her senses, [Name] glanced up and gasped when she realized that she had bumped into Malleus. The Diasomnia dorm leader gazed at her with a small frown before gently putting a hand on her shoulder and using his other free hand to tilt her chin up to examine her forehead properly. [Name] froze as she locked eyes with Malleus and felt her heart beat faster. Of all people to encounter at this time, why did it have to be the Draconia Prince?

“My apologies, Child of Man. I should have called out to you, but I didn’t realize you were lost in your own thoughts. Are you hurt anywhere?” the dark fae questioned warmly.

“O-Oh! I’m fine, thanks! I was trying to find the restroom but I think I’m a little lost.” [Name] admitted with a flustered smile. She was embarrassed that Malleus had to see her in her current state. It was rare of him to ever witness her as such a mess.

“The restrooms are just around the corner from here. You seem worried about other things though. Would you like to share your troubles with me?” Malleus asked as he let go of [Name].

[Name] inhaled deeply and carefully thought of what to say. “I’m just very nervous about the singing competition. I didn’t think of it as a big deal at first, but now I’m starting to worry about not winning it. It would mean a lot to Grim and me if I won the competition tonight. I don’t know what I would ask from Azul-senpai yet, but all I know is that I want to win no matter what.”

Hearing this, Malleus chuckled before brushing [Name]’s hair behind her ear. “You will be fantastic, Child of Man. If you want to win, you must first be your biggest advocate in order to have everyone else believe in your capabilities. I trust that you will succeed if you put more faith in your skills and believe more in yourself. Fear not, Child of Man. You are more than worthy and capable of winning Ashengrotto’s little competition. I strongly believe in you.”

With these simple words of encouragement touching her heart, [Name] suddenly felt calm and reassured. Malleus was right. She had to believe in herself first and not psyche herself out so fast before the competition even started. Feeling herself relax, [Name] took a deep breath before reaching out for Malleus’ hand.

“Thank you, Tsunotarou. I needed to hear that.”

“You are welcome, Child of Man. I shall return to my table now, but I look forward to your performance.” he cooed before walking away from [Name].

As [Name] watched the elegant dark fae prince leave, she gripped her arms and let out another sigh. The competition would be soon and there was no time to waste. She had to get a firm grip on herself in order to do well. If Malleus believed strongly in her, then there was no reason for her to give up.

After Azul introduced the competition and competitors came throughout the night to entertain the audience, it was finally time for [Name] to take the stage. She was the last contestant of the night and still felt a hint of anxiety, but was reassured when she heard her friends rooting for her. Amongst the crowd, she also saw Malleus smiling quietly at her from his table. He supported her from a distance and would patiently wait for her to perform.

“Now then, the music will start as soon as you glance at me. After that, the stage is yours, [Name]-san.” Jade instructed as he fixed the earpiece for [Name] and secured it.

“Thank you, Jade-senpai.” [Name] muttered as she fidgeted with her school uniform. She should have worn something else for this performance, but it was too late to change. Oh well, this was an all-or-nothing performance now.

“With pleasure. Please enter the stage when you are ready.” Jade replied as he left to take his position as the stage manager.

As [Name] left the backstage area to enter the shining stage with bright lights, she nervously smiled at the audience when she heard them clapping for her. Positioning herself in front of the microphone, she was surprised to see Azul smirk at her from the onyx-colored grand piano to her left. She hadn’t expected him to lead her song’s performance nor did she rehearse with him beforehand. Perhaps he knew the song already? Well, it didn’t matter now. She was here and ready to give the entirety of Night Raven College an unforgettable performance.

With one last deep breath, [Name] zoned herself into complete focus, and when she was ready, she glanced over at Jade who gave Azul a special cue to start playing the song on the piano. Azul granted [Name] a smooth and jazz-like beginning on the piano, and Mostro Lounge was completely bought with silence and awe.

Loving you was a pure mistake,

I’ll erase you with all the memories I once held on tightly to.

Goodbye, my dear, this is the end.

Let’s meet again, in another life where we can be more than just mere friends.

In the middle of [Name]’s performance, Malleus discreetly waved his magic pen at [Name] and transformed her black school uniform into a sparkling floor-length silver dress with matching heels and jewelry. Her hair was also stylishly pinned back and curled into a high ponytail, and her makeup looked like it had been done by none other than Pomefiore’s dorm leader, Vil Schoenheit.

“Oh! Très bien! She looks lovely in that dress thanks to Roi du Dragon! Isn’t she a beautiful sight, Vil?” Rook praised as he clutched his chest and listened to [Name]’s ballad.

“I guess the stage is where Ramshackle’s Potato shines the most. Who would have thought that this would be her element?” Vil replied solemnly.

The crowd hollered and shouted at the sudden outfit change, and [Name] gained confidence as she sang out the rest of her ballad with pure emotions and tones of sadness. She looked out towards Malleus and silently thanked him with her eyes as she sang the night away and ended her song by the piano with Azul.

With one final bow to the audience, [Name] waved goodbye and left towards the backstage area where she was greeted by the Leech twins and given assistance for removing her equipment.

“Koebi-chan, you were so pretty up there! I can’t believe you stole the show like that when you were such a nervous wreck earlier! It was like you had a twin fill in for ya instead!” Floyd commented with a cackle.

“Yes, you were quite remarkable, [Name]-san. It was an unexpected surprise from you, but you did charm the audience with your lovely ballad. I would say it was even moving for some,” Jade remarked with a chuckle as he helped remove the earpiece from [Name]’s ear.

“I’ll take ya back to your table, Koebi-chan. Give me your arm,” Floyd insisted as he helped [Name] climb down the stairs of the stage.

[Name] hesitantly took the eel’s arm, wary of his sudden offer, but it seemed genuine for now as Floyd guided her back to her table.

“[Name], you looked so awesome up there! How did you get that octopus bastard to play your song for you?!” Ace asked.

“Y-You were really beautiful up there! I didn’t know you planned for an outfit change during your performance!” Deuce complimented with a faint blush on his face.

“I caught the whole thing on video if ya wanna look at it later, [Name]!” Epel remarked happily.

“You were amazing, [Name]. I would be surprised if you didn’t win this competition.” Jack said with a proud smirk.

Grim jumped into [Name]’s arms out of glee and playfully climbed onto her chest to face her. “You looked like a real star! An idol! It was crazy to think it was you! But of course, I was the one who knew that already.”

[Name] shook her head and laughed as she took a seat with her friends. She admittedly had fun and had completely forgotten her nerves. She would have to properly thank Malleus later for the sudden outfit change, but she figured she would enjoy the rest of the night with her friends.

After half an hour had passed, Azul stepped onto the stage with a sealed golden envelope in his hand, followed by Jade and Floyd standing behind him on both sides. With a smirk, Azul waved his dorm scepter and brought the stage lights on him to call for everyone’s attention.

“Good evening, Mostro Lounge’s esteemed guests! Did you all enjoy your Friday evening? It was quite a dazzling sight, wasn’t it?” Azul began as he received several rounds of applause and shouts.

“Ah, here comes the announcement,” Jack remarked.

“I’d like to thank everyone for coming to support Mostro Lounge’s 1st Singing Above Sea Competition. Since it received so much praise and positive outcomes, we hope to hold more events like this in the future. We had three special guest judges from different entertainment companies attend tonight’s big event and a winner has been chosen for the 1st Singing Above Sea Competition. Mostro Lounge would like to formally congratulate [Name] of Ramshackle Dorm for being the first crowned winner of our singing competition. Congratulations, [Name]! Please make your way to the stage to receive your prize.”

As bursts of cheering and clapping filled [Name]’s ears, she was stunned and couldn’t believe she had won. When the spotlight turned and landed on her, [Name] was pushed by Ace and Deuce to leave the table and go towards the stage.

Stumbling a bit from her seat, [Name] slightly lifted her dress up from the floor and made her way towards the Octavinelle trio on the stage. Once she climbed the last stair step, Jade offered her a hand and she took it as she faced Azul and graciously accepted a bouquet of flowers, a silk sash, and a golden crown encrusted with pearls and seashells.

“Now my dear, have you thought of a wish that you would like me to grant? I’m sure the audience would love to hear what your deepest desire is, as well.” Azul stated with a charming smile.

[Name] looked back into the crowd at Grim, knowing that he would want her to ask for an endless supply of tuna cans. But with everything that happened tonight and the nonexistent chance of returning home anytime soon, [Name] wondered if the wish she had in mind could come true. Maybe this wish would be her ticket to success and establishment in Twisted Wonderland if Headmaster Crowley hadn’t found a way to send her home. Surely Azul’s magic wouldn’t be strong enough to send her back home, as well. There was only one fathomable idea left.

“Thank you for crowning me as your winner for the competition tonight, Azul-senpai. For my wish, I wish for you to make me Twisted Wonderland’s next biggest idol!” [Name] declared with a determined look on her face.

Taken aback by the wish, Azul glanced at the twins and was met with sinister grins from them. It was another unexpected surprise from the magicless prefect of Ramshackle Dorm, but they were happy to accept her answer. Azul could practically smell another potential business idea from [Name]’s wish, and he was elated to have a taste of it.

“Well that is quite a big wish, but it’s nothing that I can’t grant,” Azul answered as he put out his hand for [Name] to take and shake.

“Go on, shake his hand,” Jade advised with a dark smile from behind.

“Pleasure to make business with ya!” Floyd commented as he locked eyes with [Name].

Deciding that there was nothing to lose, [Name] took Azul’s hand and shook it.

“Congratulations, [Name]. It’s a deal!” Azul announced proudly.

[Name] saw a violet glow envelop around her as she held onto Azul’s gloved hand. There was no doubt that this act would seal the final deal and jumpstart [Name]’s wish to become a legendary idol of Twisted Wonderland. And although she didn’t physically sign a contract with Azul, a part of her felt like she did so anyway.

As the crowd cheered on for [Name] and her granted wish, the Diasomnia dorm students felt an unusual burning sensation running through the chilled atmosphere of Mostro Lounge.

Lilia, who was never afraid to face Malleus head-on, quietly shot a glance at the young dark fae prince and saw a look of displeasure on Malleus’ usual stoic face.

“My, my, Malleus. We can practically feel you fuming with fire throughout the vicinity.” Lilia teased.

Hearing Lilia’s comment, Malleus visibly relaxed his tensed body and sighed. “It’s nothing, Lilia.”

Lilia knew better than to press Malleus on for answers. From everything that had transpired tonight, it was clear that Malleus was not entirely thrilled to see [Name] enter a boundless contract with Azul Ashengrotto. The thought of it was almost dangerous, and Malleus couldn’t help but worry for his beloved friend.

Multiple thoughts ran through Malleus' mind as he watched [Name] leave the stage and hug her friends as they congratulated her once more. What exactly could Ashengrotto plan to do to fulfill [Name]’s wish? What did he take from her in exchange for him to grant her wish? Malleus recalled sensing a large quantity of magic being used once [Name] had sealed the deal with Azul, but the results of the wish would remain a mystery to him until the future. Biting his lip, he loathed the idea that he would have to wait and see how things played out.

Standing up from his seat, Malleus declared to his group that it was time to head back to the dorms of Diasomnia. The night was over and he wanted to return to his dorm early. Perhaps if he was lucky enough, he would have a chance to take a night stroll around his favorite place and privately encounter the winner of tonight’s memorable competition.

“Leaving so soon already? Surely you’ll stay for the after-party?” Azul had caught Malleus and the others at the door, smiling with confidence and hoping to convince them to stay.

“Thank you for the invitation, but I’ll have to decline. Have a good evening, Ashengrotto.” Malleus responded nonchalantly, surprising the Octavinelle dorm leader as the Diasomnia students strode past him.

Watching them leave Mostro Lounge, Azul couldn’t help but smirk at the thought that he had unfortunately ruffled a few of Malleus’ scales.

“And here I thought you would be her first biggest fan. I guess [Name] and I will have to work harder from now on to prove that she will succeed on her own as an idol. After all, my magic can only go so far.” Azul quietly remarked to himself before turning away to tend to other tasks for the night.

The idol life was still far from reality for [Name], but it would soon become her truth untold.

End of Chapter 1.

Thank you so much for reading "The Truth Untold!" This is my first time writing for the Twisted Wonderland fandom, and I hope to complete this series properly. I've had this plot in my head for such a long time and now it's finally being written out. Please look forward to future chapters and thank you once again for your support! Comments/feedback are always welcomed and appreciated. :) -Yukari.

*Koebi-chan is Floyd Leech's little nickname for MC. It translates roughly to "Little Shrimp/Shrimpy!"

#twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #malleus x reader #twst fanfic #the truth untold series #yukari's writing

36 notes · View notes