#I’m so scared to wear it but I love it
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everybody go home. this is my magnum opus
#HELP THIS IS KILLING ME#the original version of this had hua cheng in a ‘i have a CRAZY wife she hates STUPID PEOPLE and LOVES DOGS and im NOT AFRAID TO USE HER’#but if hua cheng was at midwestern gas station number 472 in the novelty slogan tshirt aisle#she for sure would get some sort of ‘your wife (woman symbol) vs MY WIFE (wonder woman silhouette)’#or ‘trophy 🏆🏆 WIFE’#or possibly a ‘return to wife if lost’#or ‘i have a SMOKIN HOT wife’#or ‘im the BOSS til my WIFE gets home’#or ‘5 things you should know about my WIFE: 1. she is my queen 2. she is a bit crazy 3. she can whoop your ass#4. she says whatever she is thinking 5. mess with her and theyll never find your body’#or ‘i go to work so my wife can COLLECT SCRAPS’#or even at worst. ‘ my wife is the PRINCESS the mouse LOST’#xie lian would be initially embarassed. but you know her ass would be wearing a ‘proud PROPERTY of an AWESOME WIFE’ shirts @ heaven meetings#or ‘i’m not scared of ANYTHING - my WIFE is a CALAMITY’#which was sold as a metaphor for your wife being mean and powerful. but she wears it straight.#or even ‘im not GAY but my WIFE is’ lmfao#anyway.#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#hualesbians#modern au#tgcf meme#my art#art#tgcf shitpost#lmao#mxtx
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💛 Head Over Heels 🩷
#some postgame kuzusouda for the soul <3#some people only ever draw their favorite ships#meanwhile i’ve never drawn these two together before#because i’m always afraid i won’t do them justice 😭#also#while i love the headcanon that kaz goes back to his natural hair color after the simulation#consider this:#now that there’s no one around to judge him#he can experiment with as many piercings haircuts and dyes as he wants#(don’t ask how he gets them maybe it’s the future foundation idk hajime can do anything so he helps lmao)#maybe he keeps it black later on maybe not#but he at least has the confidence to wear glasses again#(all of this is coming from me being a pathetic souda kinnie)#(he’s my mannequin for all the body modifications i’m too scared to get)#kuzusouda#kazuichi soda#kazuichi souda#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#danganronpa#danganronpa 2#danganronpa 2 goodbye despair#goodbye despair#sdr2#danganronpa fanart#fanart#fanart digital#digital art#art#drawing#my art
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whenever I’m doing college work that makes me so tired and sad I can look into my corner where all my Star Trek figures are staring at me ominously and that makes me feel a bit better
#Star trek#trek thoughts#my tuvok and my Kathryn Janeway are my favorite#Picard sort of scares me cause they did something weird with his lips#My Kirk one is wearing his ‘edge of tomorrow’ outfit#My sulu one is mirrorverse#I’ve found all of these guys at various vintage flea markets except for Janeway and tuvok whom I bought on eBay cause I needed them#I’m going on a search for spock#Haha get it#so my Kirk won’t be lonely#Would love to have a Kira and Jadzia and Uhura#I just want the girls
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Grinds my teeth to dust…. i wish touch didnt have so many Implications. im just trying to survive out here
#after all this i need a cuddle and a movie But who do i ask withoit them thinking im coming on to them#i need to paint a giant doomsday-guy-on-the-street-corner style sign to wear around my neck that says I AM AROMANTIC ASEXUAL#born to hug and kiss all my friends forced to stand around hands in my pockets#im scared to death of people misinterpreting my behavior or feeling uncomfortable#od be so much more relaxed like at a core of my being level if this was a nonissue#dude im desperate i might just ask the guy i almost fell asleep on tje otjet night#the ice is broken and he already knows my deal#(fantasizing about snuggling with people i like) im so fucked up ….#it’s also made way worse by tje fact that I apparently come off as very flirtatious#im playful and i love people Sorry …..#im like All or Nothing . oh my god lol#i had a friend who called me her ‘koala’ because i was constantly clinging to her#we were 7 so it was socially acceptable#99% of the time we were together i was wrapped around her legs or torso. i miss you so much sybil#the start of the end was when i innocently restrd my chin on my friend’s shoulder to watch what he was doing#and the next day someone asked me why i did that#i was like huh…? he’s my friend?#why wouldn’t i?#then i felt all weird about it And ive felt weird about it sincd#unrelated but my best friend is autistic she has misophonia and hates touch But im the misopjonia exception(real thing) AND#i’m one of the only people she hugs. straight up my biggest flex ever
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genuinely the moment you find an aesthetic you love and start owning it life gets better
#red is My Colour it’s my thing everyone knows that about me and sometimes I catch myself being like wow this is like actually really lame 😭#bc my hair is red my nails (when i have them done) are red i wear red clothes#and it was always tiny things like that where yeah it’s fun and noticeable but not super in ur face if you don’t know any better#but recently I’ve really been leaning into it like I ordered a red wallet and a red bag AND red sunnies#and i actively choose red whenever colour options are available for day to day stuff#like red perfume instead of the original black one (this is my pride and joy) or dumb shit like getting cherry coke instead of normal#and it’s SO dumb it’s so lame but it brings me so much genuine joy#like i fr feel like a character it’s such a harmless way of making myself happy#AND it makes me happier w how i look bc on top of the red I’ve leaned more into grunge aesthetic lately#bc i used to be too scared to whereas now I’m really enjoying it#like i cant remember the last time i was this comfortable in myself physically and that's kinda a big deal for me#fr find an aesthetic you love and just go with it idc if it’s silly I can’t recommend it enough
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anyways guys i swear i don’t always crochet things that are kinda wonky but i did think this was rlly cute until my sister was like girl… you are not allowed to wear that in public
before we begin i’d like to show the inspo
the result
ft the skull i made but didn’t use bc why didn’t anyone tell me that skulls are ugly
#i think i’m gonna swap out the heart i love the color but the type of yarn i used was v hard to shape#it looks better irl than in the pic but not by much#anyway i love kuromi i wanna make a melody hat next!!#wait also disclaimer i do not care that my sister doesn’t like it im going to be wearing it anyway#but i’m just scared she said it was giving furry#which i don’t have a problem w furries are so chill but that’s just not me personally#omg nooo i just noticed that the two strings are uneven… i need to fix that before it starts to cool down
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Out of nowhere I was hit with the idea that if artists struggle so much with Daredevil’s original yellow costume because he can’t exactly be stealthy like that, why not just fully embrace that this man is highly visible and handling that is your problem.
#I get that Matt doesn’t have facial scars outside of damage to his eyes#because theoretically what destroyed his sight was the radiation#however it’s always drawn as OOZE hitting his FACE#and while Marvel has plenty of characters with acid scaring#not many of them get to be heroes#so until it stops being depicted as ooze I’m letting Matt be one of those heroes#speaking of the scaring since their hard to see he’s wearing croakies to keep his glasses on#since his left ear is not doing that#his broken horn being on his bad side was actually an accident of flipping around the canvas#but I kinda love it because I like the idea that while it’s still supernaturally good his hearing is worse on that side#my art#matt murdock#daredevil#specter spider au
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who me having a random freak out about what to pack two weeks before i leave?? naurrr
#like i have a cute dress that i could wear but im also worried about not super feeling that genderwise but also weighing if bringing extra i#is worth it :/#ahhhrrrgggggg i love gender but also trying to predict is too hard i hate it#especially since my wedding outfit is so femme#idk#i’m just scared i won’t feel good for the events
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on one hand I am very glad that ketamine therapy has been helpful for my severe depression and anxiety and ptsd and whatever else is going on up there, and I’m grateful that it’s available to me as part of my treatment plan
on the other hand I’m not a huge fan of the payment for that help being a 50/50 chance every time of having a bad trip that unlocks some deep scary part of my psyche and then having to address all of that in therapy until the next trip
#starlight personal#ketamine has saved my life and also scares the fuck out of me tbh#like I went into this trip being all ‘love and kindness gotta be nice to myself’ and it went ‘yes BUT -‘#and shoved me off a cliff into years and years of repressed existential anxiety and reminded me that I’ve had that since I was Very Small#bro please I just want to not off myself I don’t need to be unpacking deep childhood trauma rn I’m trying to buy a house#how am I supposed to buy a house when I now have to grapple with Deep Pain being brought to light#I was going to talk about house anxiety in therapy this week but that has now been derailed for -#I Am Terrified of the Universe and Always Have Been and Do Not Know How to Cope With This When It’s Not Repressed#and I do truly believe if it came up in treatment that it means it’s time to deal with it and learn to handle it#but like…….. I would’ve liked to be asked#not just thrown into the scariest psychedelic trip of my life and then left to pick up the pieces#anyway this is all to say that I’m once again cursing my genetics for not letting SSRIs work and leaving me with psychedelic woo-woo shit#like what do you mean I can’t take a pill and ignore some of this deeper shit what do you MEAN I have to face it#ketamine is very I Will Shine a Light on the Things You Have Hidden Whether You like It Or Not For Your Own Good#thank you I guess but right now I’m a bit grumpy about it#on the brightside I am hopefully going to be less depressed for the next two months until it wears off again so we love that!!!#hahahaaaaaaaaaa it’s fine we’ll be fine this will be good for me in the long run#what’s peace like I wonder I’ve certainly never known it
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besties some guy just asked me for my number in the grocery store line i’m so embarrassed 😭
#he let me cut him in line bc i only had 3 things#n then he asked me if i was still scared of covid bc i was wearing a mask n i said yes bc i work in a restaurant n my little brothers r 4#months old so i have to take care of them#n he was like yeah. what restaurant#n my dumbass told him n he was talking about how he loves the food there#girl i’m going to kill myself he knows where i work#but he seemed really embarrassed after i told him i had a bf n didn’t even say goodnight when i said goodnight n left so i’m hoping it’ll be#fine 😭#.txt
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Actually before I go like. I’d seen the video of IVs scream in Rain and I just previously thought “oh how nice that adds a lot” but today in the car I thought. Wait? Is there? So I turned the volume up to 40 (I usually have it between 23-29 on the highway) and uh. 😳 That was the very first time I noticed Vessel’s scream in Rain.
I should perhaps listen more closely if headphones???
#I am Not entertaining thoughts of losing my hearing rn#bc I would be SALTY AF as I wear earplugs to all concerts#and work is the loudest bc oven and proofer and microwave beeps all the time#and the oven fans#and the Music and the customers and the coolers have fans and the freezer too and just. it’s so LOUD 😭#and they say ‘no hearing protection needed’#AND THE FUCKING BREAD SLICER TOO#rattle rattle motherFUCKER#though. I have been VERY scared of it (I did also work in fast food which is also LOUD) when I couldn’t hear an instructor hardly at all#from the middle of the room#I spent the two courses I took with him (he’s lovely) sitting right in front of him so I could hear I was. extremely distraught.#but anyway. since then I’m more likely to sit near the front of a classroom#Rain (sleep token)#shatters’ fragments#and also bc I’m super sensitive to sound#(that I hear)#I can’t discern very well on radio like at all like actual ass maritime radios#but like. when I listen in earbuds or headphones I’m almost always on the lowest volume#and sometimes it seems too loud 😔
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saw jaws for the first time today and i can’t believe despite knowing so much about it through cultural osmosis i had no clue matt hooper existed and i love that funky little guy
#he’s just autistic about sharks and i love him for it. i forgive him for his crimes (being rich)#also his line about ‘having enough of these working class heroes’ or whatever. i was ready to fight him for that one#i knew about concerned police officer and weird old vaguely threatening fisherman but no one ever mentioned the silly little guy who just.#i knew when every jumpscare happened but i didn’t know one of the three main characters existed#he just loves sharks man. man was so funny. ‘hey i was told to tell you guys that you shouldnt all get in that boat’ ‘we’ll do it anyway’#‘okay! they’re going to die :)’#crazwaz posted#id seen the clip of matt discovering the body and the clip of them paddling to shore at the end!!!#but i’d never seen any clip of quint so i figured the one at the end was him and the body discoverer was a random character#he was wearing a wetsuit in the body scene and is seen from far away in behind in the final one so i have the right to not have realized ok#also weirdly enough my submechanophobia was not really triggered at all? which is wild. like one or two times it happened but like. that was#so weird to just. know that normally i’m scared of that kind of thing but it just. didn’t happen? like i’m scared of the jaws animatronic on#the universal ride! it scared me in pics and it scared me when i saw it irl! but bruce? nah she was just fine#that’s another thing i always think of bruce as she/her like. them all using he/him for the shark confused me#my brother mentioned she’s a girl in jaws 3d + in the wild girl sharks are bigger than boys so that’s probably what caused it#but i still think of godzilla as she/her and that one has like no evidence so maybe my brain just does that to them or smth
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everything is wrong so fucking wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong
edit: i hit tag limit. warning for an insane vent about maybe-abuse i guess though i doubt many people will read it
#time is wrong my memory is wrong i feel wrong my head is wrong everything is WRONG#i hate him i miss him i can’t decide if it was really abuse and it is all so wrong and out of place because it’s two years later and he’s#still in my head and my frog hoodie feels wrong because of him and i’m forcing myself to wear it anyways because it is MINE and i loved it#until he ruined it and it’s a weird texture against my skin and the arms get in the way and it feels so different than i remember after#being on a hanger lying dead in my closet for two years with a broken zipper and a newly uncovered layer of ickiness#and i am scared and i am tired and everything is just so. fucking. wrong.#i hope he goes to ohio and i hope he rots and i hope my skin will stop FUCKING crawling at the damn park I HATE IT#I HATE HIM#he fucking ruined me two years late#and i still. can’t. tell. if. it. was. my. fault.#because isn’t it? isn’t that why all of this happened because i pushed and i pushed and i fucking pushed#and most of it happened when we were just friends and it wasn’t that bad and no one else said anything so what the fuck do i know#but i can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. and i blame him.#i miss his dog. i wish id gotten to meet her. i cant express how thankful i am that i was never in his house#but she didn’t deserve any of that#i miss her i hate that she’s gone and i hate that i feel somewhat bad for him because of it#i am so. tired#and done#and i want to go home and i AM home but im not because its all FUCKING wrong#i hate recognizing traits of his in other terrible people#i’ll watch that damn vod and think ‘fuck he did that too’ and i’ll hear them talk and think ‘fuck he did that too’ but surely it shouldn’t#mather because it was friendship and we were never REALLY dating#but deserved lol. and my ribs. and my knuckles. and the jokes-not-jokes and the reiteration that i’m stupid#and he was only continually nice to me when he thought i was The One#but even then he was shit#just… in a more hidden way#poking and tugging at boundaries until they moved back bit by bit#and i don’t remember i don’t remember i don’t REMEMBER how bad jt might have gotten#fuck#fuck i need to be held
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sometimes I’m scared that other people only think my outfits eat when they emphasize my waistline and make me look skinny and not when it’s an outfit that I put a lot of care into because it’s another form of expression for me
#silv's back on her bs#like I know I probably sound like ‘boohoo it must be so hard for other people to think you’re skinny’ but I just mean that like.#I’m really proud of the outfits I put together#I like my style and I like how I’ve spent the last couple years exploring with it and letting it be another extension of myself#and I’ve created a (very small) rep around having cool outfits#but the other day someone complimented my outfit and don’t get me wrong I felt nice that day#but it was literally just low rise sweatpants and a cropped tee (ie heavens forbid I had skin showing and my stomach was out)#like was it cute? sure but it definitely wasn’t an Outfit#and I got a lot more compliments because on it then I do on a normal basis#and idk. I wasn’t the biggest fan of that#and I’m scared that I’m also starting to use it as a crutch when I’m putting clothes on before I leave#like the other day I was putting an outfit together and instead of reaching for something that I think is really cool and being creative#I was genuinely met with a wave of like ‘okay but how attractive am I gonna be if I wear this’ or ‘would other ppl think I look good’#which is FUCKED#because I LOVE clothes!!!! I LOVE dressing up!!!! and I KNOW that I don’t need to look good for others that beauty and style doesn’t#have to be conventional that there’s so many cool things that lie outside that framework. And I used to be outside of that framework too#but UGH I hate that everyone else’s opinions on MY body are starting to get to me#anyways i feel like this should have a cw but idk what to add#ask to tag#ig(?)
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“Memory of a Killer,” Moon Knight: City of the Dead (Vol. 1/2023), #1.
Writer: David Pepose; Penciler: Marcelo Ferreira; Inker: Jay Leisten; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Moon Knight: City of the Dead#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Moon Knight#Marc Spector#I’m really liking what feels like this recent development of Marc seeming to just really get a kick out of messing with mooks#idk it just feels slightly different from when he would take his role as the Fist of Vengeance super seriously#and it’s not so much a Spider-Man case of finally being able to let one’s true identity out via wearing a mask and being as#debilitatingly irritating as possible which also doubles as an excellent defense#(don’t get me wrong I love 616!Peter but part of Ditko era early Spider-Man’s charm is that he could sure be a real piece of work hahaha)#nah in Marc’s case here it feels more like his interactions with 8-Ball#where he finds it a little funny to lean into his role and scare the living daylights out of underpaid henchmen
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today I had to go into central and on the train these two old white men came in, visibly drunk, and still drinking from the bottle. and I just sort of became distinctly aware and was trying my hardest not to catch their attention (which was impossible as I was stood right next to them). anyways one of them looks at me and loudly goes “you Muslim, yeah?” the way my heart sank 😭 I was legit preparing myself for the worst and had no idea what to say or do so I just froze and smiled and went yeah….. and he replies laughing I’m just messing ! and then starts annoying some other passenger and typing it out it does sound rly small and silly but it genuinely scared me and I thought they were gonna fight me or smth sjsjsjssj
anyways it was okay and thankfully there was this other older man standing in front of me (also white so hope was restored) and he just looked at me and started saying you alright? you okay? and I’m trying to reply yeah I’m good, thank you etc with these men STILL there but they didn’t do anything after and my stop was the next one so I just jumped off and sprinted to my next train
#this is a random rant#but honestly in recent days I’ve been feeling rly apprehensive about being in public#cos u hear Islamophobia is on the rise plus u have our pm and home sec literally adding fuel to the fire#so I got rlyyyyy scared that smth actually happened#and the thing is I wear a hijab so they KNOW I’m Muslim#so the question felt very threatening#anywyas thankfully they were too drunk to actually do anything#and shoutout the lovely man in front of me#he looked so concerned 😭😭😭 I must have looked visibly scared#but it was nice knowing someone had my back if smth happened#not everyone is out here hating lol#anywyas scary times we’re living in stay safe everyone ❤️🩹#rahma’s rambles
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