#I’m so pissed off. Jesus Christ
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Oh this is so awesome I just wrote 4 paragraphs and the post got eaten by oblivion this is soooooooooo awesooomeeee
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argh. This comic writing is taking me way longer than usual. I keep editing things and it doesn’t feel right.
#wip#i think I finally got it#The issue is usually plots come to me formed yk#But for this one#I did have a plot but it was more related to Chil having a v bad experience and Mei hearing about it and then him telling her#Not to go thru with her plans to become involved with adventures in a sort of threatening way#So I had that all sketched out and then randomly I decided I wanted more drama#so initially I extended it and had it be that maybe she tried to hug him or something but he reacted Badly bc of his aforementioned shit#But I didn’t like that and it felt jarring and sort of…over dramatic. Too much.#So then I got rid of that. And then I was like well maybe he and Mei should actually have a conversation about it#Like he brings it up#So I wrote that and I had him get really mad at her and let that sit around for a minute bc uh-oh there’s another problem#Seee the issue with doimg multiple rewrites of something is suddenly the part that was initially meant to be the focus. Is not important#Anymore and is actually distracting from the main point#So OK I delete all that and rewrite that to make it less distracting#Still keep the important buildup in that scene but focus on Mei more bc this is a comic that’s from her pov#Ok ok yeah. I like that. But THEN#UH OH NEW PROBLEM. ! Remember that He gets really mad scene? The one I let sit to go worry about the middle section#Well. Haha. I read the whole comic back again to check for flow and shit#Get to the end#WOW ITS OUT OF CHARACTER AND JARRING. He’s not mean or anything I just don’t think he’d yell in that sort of emotional way?#I got so lost in the sauce I forgot to write good#So now I’m stuck. It’s so out of character so obviously I get rid of that problem.#Change it so he does still yell but less and also differently. and also now Mei gets to be pissed tf off#and tied it into several previous comics since I like things to be connected to each other#I think?? I think I’m happy with it now…but Jesus Christ#I don’t usually have to do Any rewrites#And the number of other comics I want to do is piling up so I take breaks to sketch those out for later#Then return. To my undoing.
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Uh, yeah I’ll give you one better
Works better than any tag system ever could! 😊
#ashy rambles#tfb community#this was literally my first thought when i saw that comment#like yeah it pissed me off & made me feel shitty but making this made me giggle#i guess i fucking deserve this because i got lazy & stopped tagging as thoroughly#but jesus christ#this is like the 3rd or 4th person in like a month to pull this shit#i just feel so fucking tired#& honestly they make me feel so ashamed of myself & sometimes i hate the fact i’m like this & even have this blog#but then i look through & see fics with hundreds of notes#& i think about all y’all & how you might feel the same way#& damnit we need to support each other & give ourselves reassurance#we’re not the fucking freaks they think we are#for anyone else who feels like fucking around & finding out#i feel like those farmers hanging up a dead coyote on their fence lmaooo
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TW for mentions of Sexual Assault and violence
You can hate a character all you want to but making comics of her being sexually assaulted and trafficked is absolutely sickening
#tldr someone made a disturbing comic on deviant art with Rosalind Myers#I’m so pissed off rn#Jesus Christ I hate you people
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I don’t wanna have to not be on tumblr until TSATS comes out but it’s looking like that’ll have to be the case if people don’t start tagging their fucking DIRECT SCREENSHOTS OF THE FUCKING PREVIEW. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU ASSHOLES.
#I’m so pissed off right now genuinely#like I know it’s stupid and my own fault for expecting other people to have common decency/etiquette#or at least what I consider those things to be#BUT COME THE FUCK ON!!!!!! don’t you understand that these things are spoilers for a REASON??????#that there’s a REASON people don’t want to read this shit before it comes out????#GOD!!!!!!#I’m going to fucking explode I’m so angry about this#I should’ve expected that a fandom designed for children wouldn’t understand spoilers but Jesus Christ#I am grumpy adult GDI#pjo#hoo#nico di angelo#percy jackson#will solace#fuck you guys who are posting untagged stuff#(this is a /NM moment where I’m like. half mad. I mean it genuinely fuck you but I don’t mean it in an ‘I hate you you suck’ way)#(I mean it in a please please I’m begging you I’m begging you to change please way)
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who can we blame for the fandomification of the song soldier poet king. i’d like to blame bbc merlin fans but i recognize that’s me being a biased hater. anyway. whoever’s to blame should be hanged in the town square or something this shit is so annoying fr
#i don’t want to call anything ‘sacrilegious’ but i simply think it’s odd to fandomify a song about jesus.#as in christ…. like is that not just weird to everyone else am i the only one who thinks that’s odd#why would you WANT to do that… i thought all fandom freaks were atheists with protestant religious trauma#that was rude i’m sorry.#listen all i’m saying is that that song is about jesus of christ fame. ONE guy. to fandomify it for trios is simply insane!!!!!!!#like you didn’t even get it in a conceptual way!!#it wouldn’t piss me off if they didn’t always do it LIKE THAT.#it doesn’t matter though.#like the only way it would even remotely work to make the song about a trio is if that trio is so deeply tied together they work as 1 being#which. most of these trips in fandoms who do this. do not. sorry#actually. and i’m gonna say something you won’t be expecting. i think it’s fine when harry potter fans do it#like that’s fine. i can understand that. they’re allowed. that kid is basically a christ figure anyway so it’s fine#everyone else. you need to reevaluate what you think that song means…
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okay i never check the tag or confessionals so im only experiencing via mutual posting but i cannot believe there are people who don’t think mike is a dynamic and complex character. MIKE WHEELER.
i’d say he’s literally the most complex character in the show. i know i say this all the time but mike isn’t the embodiment of any singular experience because he’s written so human. he’s got a strong will and he’s hard pressed to give up hope. he’s bad at talking to other people and expressing himself and people will follow him anyway because they see his determination and love and it inspires them too. like that’s LITERALLY what happened in season 1. mike’s moral compass leads him to think violence is wrong unless it’s in self defense against violence which is why he reacted so harshly at rink-o-mania. mike admires when violence is used to protect but he’s afraid when violence is used to harm first and that’s absolutely a result of troy and probably lonnie.
mike has an incredibly complicated relationship with el that cannot be divided into whether or not he loves her. he cares about her so deeply that it’s practically love but it isn’t familial or platonic or romantic but something else that came as a result of the things they went through together, good and bad. he wants to be her friend because he isn’t. he doesn’t have a relationship with her but he knows that at her core she’s very similar to him; protective and loving and strong willed. he admires her! but they don’t have a relationship. he wants a friendship, but he has to unpack a lot of his current perception about el and detach himself from her.
mike’s relationship with lucas and will and eddie and dustin and max are all like this too. he has complicated and different relationships with everybody. he’s angry with lucas for joining the basketball team, part of him understands why and part of him wants to be like lucas too. he’s angry with himself about it. he’s constantly being pulled apart in his relationship with will, having built a completely different perception of what he thinks will is saying versus what will thinks he’s saying and it’s caused massive communication issues and neither mike nor will are at fault for it. mike absolutely had a crush on eddie and wanted to accept himself the way eddie did, and i’d say a lot of his admiration had to do with the way eddie pulled him out of his isolation problem after the byers moved. eddie’s death is gonna crush him. mike and dustin haven’t gotten much time together over the course of most of the show but right now dustin is probably the only person who has any idea what’s actually going on in mike’s head because dustin has become a safe place. dustin still wants to play dnd, so mike has someone to lean on without being terrified of exposing himself while he regains confidence in his freak status. dustin and him don’t have deep, hard conversations but mike does tell things to dustin and wants him to do the same. mike’s relationship with max in s2 and s3 literally deserve their own post. like that dynamic is deeply rooted in mike’s insecurities and grief
mike himself has intense struggles with his mental health because of how aware he is. he understands his own feelings and what they mean, he has known he’s had feelings for will for a long time and has struggled with it constantly. he’s struggled with his sexuality because he’s aware he’s gay and can’t love el the way he’s supposed to no matter how hard he tries. he’s aware that he can’t stop loving will no matter how hard he tries. he’s aware of the fact that he looks at boys and never looks at girls because he’s been aware of who he is since at least post s2 and he’s tried to fix it and can’t. he started accepting himself and then the entire thing with s4 was him thinking will was returning his feelings and he was ready to break up with el at sbp and pursue that friendship but then he felt like he had to give el what ‘she’ needed and erased so much of that progress
mike was way too willing to walk off a cliff for dustin. you’re gonna look me in the eye and tell me the boy who set up that sauna plan in under five minutes, who managed to understand a hivemind he’s never directly interacted with, who managed to discover an alternate dimension just to save the people he loves couldn’t find a better way to diffuse that situation??? that he couldn’t even try? the mike we know would never have given into something like that so easily if he didn’t want to. part of him was doing it to save dustin, but he could’ve saved dustin another way. mike had just lost will, el, and lucas. he puts pressure on himself to save everybody and he ended up losing everyone and now dustin is in danger too. he needs to save dustin or else he’ll feel like a complete failure of a person. it’s about saving dustin, but it’s also about the fact that he doesn’t see value in himself outside of other people
i can’t even list everything here but mike is SO complicated. he’s hope and he’s tragic and he’s human. people just don’t want to admit that they refuse to try and understand difficult storylines and make you look outside of the norm you’re forced to look through. it’s about defying norms until you have to defy your own norms.
#sorry but the idea that mike is a static character pisses me off so bad#like. are people really that stupid????#i hate to be that guy but jesus CHRIST#HE’S ONE OF THE 3 MAIN CHARACTERS OF COURSE HE HAS MORE TO HIM THAN WILL AND EL????#/AND/ HIS RELATJONSHIPS WITH WILL AND EL ARE VERY COMPLEX ANYWAY#like oh my gos#if you aren’t gonna acknowledge mike as a person don’t talk about him#idk who i’m vagueing with this but apparently there are actually people who don’t think mike is dynamic#mike wheeler
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Are you dumb?????? Are you stupid??????
hard to believe there are actually people out there who think that big noses are ugly and unattractive … like what the fuck is wrong with you ?
#this actually pissed me off so bad I couldn’t focus in class#I need to calm down#I can’t stop thinking about how DUMB AND STUPID YOU ARE#I am getting mean I am sorry#no I’m not you need to shut up#and another thing!#as a fan of HOUSE MD are we watching the same show ?????#do you fucking seE ROBERT SEAN LEONARD#I rarely get mad but for some reason this pissed me off so so bad#I’m sorry#I just DONT UNDERSTANDDDDD#BIG NOSES ARE HOT AS FUCK#Jesus Christ#am I crazy?? do you guys agree that this is stupid and maddening ????#okay bye#hatecrimes md
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Somebody should take my phone I’m gonna be nasty
#I am so fucking sick of these bitch ass ADULT MALES#doing FUCK ALL around this house#I wanna move out blah blah blah#PROVE IT#YOU CANT EVEN TAKE THE RUBBISH OUT#YOU DONT COOK A SINGLE MEAL UNLESS ITS FOR YOU#YOU LEAVE YOUR FOOD SCRAPS EVERYWHERE#I CAN SMELL YOUR ROOM FROM OUTSIDE#JUST FUCKING VACUUM JESUS CHRIST#so glad we moved#no one does fucking anything unless they’re a woman#and those same women are the ones who DIDN’T want to go#if you asked me right now y’all can fuck right off and my sister can move back in#she would contribute but there’s also be less to do because the people who PISS ON THE FLOOR AND LEAVE IT wouldn’t be here#I’m so angry#mum was like you guys just go straight to your rooms and don’t come out again#so they went directly back to their rooms after they’d eaten#AFTER SHE’D ASKED FOR HELP#walked straight past the dishwasher#left their dirty shit for us to get rid of#gooooooooo fuuuuuuuuuck yourseeeeeeelves#ALL DAY EVERY DAY THERAPIST MOTHER MAID
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genuinely appalled at the audacity of my ex to text me about MY finances. like the fallout of this breakup is a joke atp
#like atp i’m getting pissed off because what the fuck#they KNOW why it took me longer to pay them back bc i was paying my mom back + covering some medical shit for my sister#i EXPRESSLY communicated this so to assume this is absolutely insane jesus h christ#+ ASSUMING IM BUYING SHIT BC I SENT A MUTUAL FRIEND A PICTURE OF A SPIRIT HALLOWEEN ANIMATRONIC?!?!?!?! insane#i’m not engaging w this bc it’s so fucking stupid but oh my god i want payday to come faster i need to pay them back so they leave me ALONE
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Hey, remember when a bunch of assholes who forgot one of the cardinal rules of fandom (i.e. keep your ship nonsense away from the creators of the source material) maliciously misinterpreted an actor from their show when he grouped together the two most popular ships in the fandom in order to gently say that the assholes’ preferred pairing was also not canon?
I’m assuming this is badly referencing that incident, as this was posted without any evidence or clarifying details.
#I’m not nearly as invested in the actors as I am in the characters#so I mostly ignore anything actor-related that isn’t them talking directly about their characters#but jesus fucking christ#people love to twist jarpad’s words#I remember when the finale aired#and some people I respected but who had never watched the show#went and wrote long tweet threads about queerbaiting#and also took hellers at their words about jarpad’s comments shortly after#and this was when I was completely disengaged from the fandom at large#but I know that the perception of spn as The Queerbait Show#and jarpad as homophobic#spread far beyond the fandom#because hellers wanted the show they were watching to be something it wasn’t#and it pisses me the fuck off#d*stiel should be a footnote#not a major part of what the show’s about#to a large portion of people who haven’t watched the show#galatea.txt#this may be wankery
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Ok when I reblogged this last night, I picked 3rd because that’s what I’ve heard, but I also said maybe a little bit #4? Because at the time I thought ‘well something not really mattering to you = a sort of rejection” so I was a little confused as to how they were separate options?
And then when I woke up and I saw this I remembered that the ‘rejection’ idea was an antisemitic talking point. As in supposedly you saw the undeniable truth of Jesus and were like nah.
So I’m not sure how else it could’ve been worded - it was quickly visible to me after a good night’s sleep - but I wonder how many other people were thinking similarly to me when they picked #4, and how many are genuinely antisemitic. But I hope there’s just a lot of confused people.
#culturally Christian#I’m kind of agnostic but I do swear pretty religiously and kind of believe in Jesus and such just sort of out a habit. like if something#more convincing comes along I’ll go with that but currently I just have trouble with the idea the universe started spontaneously#I imagine more that there’s a higher figure and he’s been running experiments on an infinite amount of universe#like multiverse theory where every little decision splits the timeline etc#and occasionally he throws in stimulae like prophecies or small bits of him so that he can see what will happen#if something good happens to#me that I had no control over#like a free parking space or meeting a dog by chance#I send a kiss up to him just because I kind of want my thanks distributed but I don’t know to who? so I figure if he’s an honest guy#he’ll do other people favors too#also every time I see a dead animal on the side of the road I send it a kiss because i fervently wish that they died instantly and are#up in heaven and never have to worry about anything again#but otherwise yeah#my family stopped going to church when I was 4#I just remember liking to play with the holy water you were supposed to put on your forehead#and also the church had a really nice low stone wall that I liked to hold onto my mom or dad’s hands as I walked along the top#they’re divorced (not the catalyst to lack of church) so it was always either one or the other#my grandmother gave me a children’s bible and we still celebrate Christmas#so I know a lot of stories from#the kids bible I was given had a lot of bible stories in it and i enjoyed reading it but it felt like an anthology/book of fairy tales to me#more than anything. and ofc when I was little I heard lots of Christmas star#stories both secular and religious. I avoid Christmas media mostly as an adult because it’s so overblown but I figure I’ll share it with my#kids. my favorite Christmas movie of all time is about a cow who wants to become one of Santa’s reindeer and fly. it’s called#Annabelle’s wish it’s pretty cute. I think it falls under a secular Xmas movie but I haven’t watched it in a bit#we also celebrate Easter but I think that’s more because my mom really likes compiling the baskets of candy and spring themed stuff#and of course the Christian channels were always free whenever my family couldn’t afford ‘better’ tv. I enjoyed them but preferred pbs kids#because they were less preachy about their morals and I was more familiar with them.#oh also when I make I wish I address it to god out of habit.#about to run out of rags but whatever. my favorite religious swear that definitely pisses people off is ‘Jesus Christ on a pogo stick’
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Know what no I’m gonna be fucking honest I’m getting too scared to use a *certain song* now to depict Blue’s trauma and the horrific shit her “girlfriend” did to her and it was gonna be so personal to me and now I’m fucking afraid that if I do it I’ll get the whole
“YOU COPIED *insert battle cats animator here*!!!!!!!!”
And no one will take in the awful shit being depicted cause that doesn’t matter when I’m so clearly stealing from their precious battle cat animations /sarcasm
Or god who knows, it might even be “how dare you use a song that’s about REALLY HEAVY STUFF to depict heavy stuff!?!?” Just RAAAAH!!!!!! Clearly the song is about silly murder!!!!!!!! /sarcasm
#I’ll probably delete this later cause god only knows man.#this is about ptolemaea of course.#Jesus Christ I just hate the community so much that I literally have to be afraid of using a FUCKING SONG#THATS AGAIN!!! SUPER FUCKING PERSONAL TO ME!?!?#especially with shit I’ve had to process like ptolemaea helped me understand my own pain#now I have to reclaim this shit with threat of harassment are you fucking kidding me#Sorry I’m listening to the song rn and I’m still so pissed off
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at this point, i’m incredibly tempted to make anyone who wants to collaborate with me sign a contract. lol
#‘will you promise to do no less than the bare minimum?’#the bar is in hell. holy shit.#like god forbid i want a collaboration to feel collaborative!!#or like maybe i should see if they can prove they’re serious about collaborating before i officially say yes#sorry but i’m just pissed off.#‘thank you for being persistent’ well somebody has to be!! and it sure as hell isn’t going to be you!!#jesus fucking christ!#the funniest thing is that THEY were the one who suggested collaborating in the first place.#so this was their idea but I’M the one actually making things happen.#i’m done being persistent.#i need and deserve more than ‘maybe we can do some recording sometime’.#someone else recently asked about starting a musical project with me.#i’m scared. i don’t feel like i can trust anyone now. they’ll say they’re excited abt the project but will always leave me hanging.#maybe i’m better off as a solo artist.
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So I figured out Simon Curtis remastered 8-Bit Heart not long ago so I finally decided to listen to it since some of those songs are super important to me since they helped me through my early transition and….
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT A EARSPLITTING DOWNGRADE
I wouldn’t be as mad IF HE DIDN’T TAKE DOWN THE ORIGINALS (which was how I figured out about the “remaster” in the first place)
#im so pissed and this is right before I go to bed I need some ear bleach#I’ll probably play some more Trap Team Wii to take my mind off things#Jesus fucking christ I hate it#not to bash anyone who does like the remasters#but those songs are super important to me and seeing them completely redone like that set of a spark in me#anyway I’m gonna go play Trap Team now omg that was terrible#I just hope the originals are still on YouTube#caps lock
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Can I be beautifully honest with you guys? I hate 91 Whiskey and So Says the Sword
#no hate to the author cause I actually liked a one shot of theirs#but like man these fucking suck#so so boring and pointlessly long#in SSTS nothing happens and it’s boring because it’s all ridiculous purple prose that tells and doesn’t show#you can set it up with Cas being emotionless as an angel and then gains emotions when he falls in love#but he has to actually gain those emotions and you can’t just tell me what a beautiful and masterful love story you’re writing#you have to actually write it#in 91W it’s all troop movements and militaristic bullshit that I don’t care about because I know Dean and Cas will be fine#and they haven’t shown me enough about literally any other character to make me give a fuck if they live or die#great. Inias will get killed off. maybe I would care more if it weren’t so predictable and also if Cas weren’t just an asshole to him#for no reason#which brings me to my second point of jesus fucking christ 91W is so OOC#crazy take I know but Cas is not randomly an asshole! maybe he is at first but then he changes because he’s in love with Dean and he’s never#like. snappy and grouchy this is So OOC and it makes it painful to read because why should I care about someone who’s mean and cruel#all the time#I’m not saying Cas is an angel (pun half intended) all the time but I don’t think he’s cruel#and moreover I think they’ve just got Cas and Dean flipped. Dean would be perfect for the grouchy military commander in the late seasons#kind of way where he’s an ass to everyone due to grief#and Cas would make a great medic; caring about humanity to his detriment#this way around it’s just painful to watch Cas piss off Dean who is somehow more emotionally literate??? in what world#it’s just fucking boring and painful and Cas is not the one with internalised homophobia let’s be real#I would love to see 1940s era repressed queer Dean but no; I’m stuck with asshole Cas freaking out over being a fairy#and taking it out on Dean!#do you seriously think that corresponds to canon Cas’ reasons for repressing his feelings for Dean? answer quickly#anyway. rant over I will continue hate reading it so I can see if it gets good#but at this point the smut isn’t even good enough to justify it so. idk why I’m wasting my time#anne speaks#please someone say they agree with me or otherwise I’ll feel like I’m going insane#the whole fandom loves SSTS especially and I’m here like. well that sucked
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