#I’m not anymore I’m healing from it
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serrennedyanonwriter · 3 months ago
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My friend, proofreading something: Wow, you write Luis getting persuaded into the cult so well, it’s almost like you seen it firsthand.
Me: Oh thank you.
Also me: They don’t know, do they?
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greg-montgomery · 2 months ago
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when i remember everything i let slide
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goosewizard · 2 months ago
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thinking about tommys death and resurrection. thinking about dream, with no access to anything outside of what is in his cell. dream, bludgeoning tommys corpse and tearing apart skin and muscle to grab at his new tools. dream, with bone shards for scalpels and sewing needles, with tendon for string. tommy wasn’t using it right anyway. dream, who puts tommy back together piece by piece, just to destroy him again. and tommy, who is broken and made anew over and over, tommy, who paradoxically loses as much flesh as he gains, tommy, who is never whole but retains all the pieces, tommy, who’s cracks are not filled with gold but his own flesh, twisted and wrong, tommy, who’s broken and ugly, tommy, who walks with a limp now, tommy, whos bones never set right, tommy, who never fully left the prison, tommy, who is still sitting shiny and new on dreams countertop.
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autopsytableromance · 2 months ago
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Evan kelmp man that you are ……………..
#the psychosis metaphor. the guard dog nature. it’s not a wound it’s just healed badly. i realize this thing is just here to hurt people and#I think man I know that song and I keep kicking. telling stories that are normal to you to get a worried looks and ppl asking if you’re okay#literally brennans explanation of how evan felt fighting that salamander was so.#this character was created in a lab to make me specifically crazy. and boy oh boy is it working !#I can’t get over aabria referring to his arm as ‘not a wound just healed badly’ and that the only way to fix it is to break it again and k#being so convinced they can help it’s so. I can’t put into words buts it’s so. that’s their whole everything.#evan isn’t broken he’s just healed wrong and people around him can’t or won’t accept that. and it’s coming from a good place (sometimes)#but it has the same effect in the long run which is the reinforcement that he is wrong and bad and needs to change but he CANT bc he HAS#healed. he isn’t carrying around an open wound he has worked on that but that shit never goes away. it’s there forever and it looks wrong an#scary to people and it probably always will but it works#he said it’s different metrics of success I kept the arm and then k tries to fix and he loses the arm. do you understand me.#do you you see. can anyone fucking hear me.#it’s about being so scary to the people you love that your success is still cause for concern and they don’t understand that you’re doing#better !! you are doing good !! I’m not sad anymore he said and it’s. oh god.#anyway mismag makes me feel ill if I think about it too long so I have to stop now#prsnl#mismag#🐦‍⬛
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loderlied · 8 months ago
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francesderwent · 1 year ago
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you know, for years I’ve either been primarily occupied with some past knot that I was trying to mentally unravel into what-might-have-beens and closure or with some imaginary future that I was painting in my head based on illusory signs. but lately I’ve been pretty securely ensconced in the present moment. occasionally I indulge in gazing back to look for the invisible string or peering around the corner to wonder what might be coming next, but mostly I’m just thinking about the now, and how happy I am in it. what’s on my mind is going for little walks, and washing the dishes while someone else dries.
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venacesaur · 3 months ago
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It hurts again and again that the only person I can save is myself
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pyrojirah · 10 months ago
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For my wife’s bday her friend is hosting a Barbie movie party (we haven’t seen it) and it’s so cute my wife gets to get all dressed up and be so cute but my relationship with femininity and womanhood is so bad I’ve been scared to watch it and dressing up sounds nauseating
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parasitoidism · 6 months ago
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It’s like he didn’t even almost die of ammonia poisoning 3 days ago what a guy
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akkivee · 1 year ago
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Hitoya's line of "Don’t you think it’s lame to have dusty old memories?" from If I Follow My Heart to "I clutch this monochrome portrait close" in Closer. I don't know where I'm going with that it's just the VIBES you know. Please tell me you feel it too.
hitoya knowing that it sucks he’s so stuck in the past but the past is all he has to remember him by so he holds on tight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!!!!! i think it’s very good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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dancing-with-stars · 1 year ago
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i am losing my mind
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theamazingannie · 2 years ago
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Been rereading Six of Crows and it just makes the whole crows’ storylines from S&B season 2 so much worse. Kaz’ motivation for taking the heist is to use his share of the money to become powerful enough to destroy Pekka…but he already did that. (Not to mention his seeming goodwill and patriotism in the Ice Heist introduction at the end that completely goes against his entire character.) Inej’s motivation (maybe not at first but later) is to use her money for a crew to hunt slavers…but she already did that. A big part of Jesper’s growth throughout the duology is accepting that he is Grisha…but he already did that. A big part of Wylan’s storyline is proving himself to Jesper and the crows…but he already did that. Nina has a whole thing about not being properly trained, but in the show she is. Even Matthias already “fought” the wolves…except he didn’t. I feel like everything they did with the crows this season undermines so much of their actual storyline and I want to have hope in this spinoff (if we ever get it), but I have no idea how they’re going to do it when they already used so much for the show
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foxmulderautism · 10 months ago
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at this point im just speeding through chapter one of lover boy like im trying to get through the perfume department
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flowercrowngods · 1 year ago
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Hi! This might not be too helpful but I thought I'd share anyway just in case. You wrote in an ask reply tag that you realized that you are not a person who is okay but that it is alright. That reminded me so much of some of my own realisations about myself. I've come to learn that I cannot handle as much as others. Cannot take on as many tasks, as many meet ups (even friendly), or fill my day with as many things as people around me. It always felt like that meant that I was somehow less or weaker. But runninng into the same phenomenon over and over again made me question things. Also I would never think this about anyone else, this painful way of thinking was only reserved for myself. But with time I figured that maybe it was absolutely okay to have a different capacity for things. This is FINE. I'm not wrong or weak for this. Don't get me wrong, its still a daily struggle to remind myself, but it does get easier to believe.
So when I read this tag of yours I was really hoping that you meant it in a similar way, where this knowledge can bring comfort. You deserve the comfort! Wish I could hug you tightly 🫂
i love that you sent me this ask. i love that you worked (and are working) towards acceptance and respect and gentleness. you deserve that and i’m proud of you 🤍
as for myself, it’s a bit like that too, yeah
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“i’m not okay but it’s fine it’s fine we move on anyway”
some days it means “i’m not okay but what the hell am i gonna do about it now except watch cartoons and try not to think until not being okay is not as prevalent and choking anymore”
some days it means “i’m not okay but i’ll try anyway, who knows what good might come of it”
some days it means “i’m not okay but in 10 minutes or an hour or tomorrow might be so i’ll put myself out there”
some days it means “i’m not okay and i haven’t been and maybe never will be and i get to mourn that, i get to be angry for all the past versions of myself who were refused help, i get to do things for them, because we are not okay and we get to be angry but still we deserve nice things”
some days it means “i’m not okay and that’s fine because there are people who will help me”
some days it means “i’m not okay and i will take a break now, i will breathe and try again later, or accept that simply cannot do this right now”
sometimes we just live with that mental limp, and some days it’s worse than others. we can’t pretend like it’s not there — what good would that bring? no, we just live with it. it’s fine, it’s fine, we move on anyway. but still we get to decide how and at what pace and in which direction we move on. it’s just the moving on part that is non-negotiable, and i feel like we deserve more credit for that — mostly from ourselves.
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landonkirbyappreciation · 2 years ago
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Happy anniversary to Landon being freed from the writers
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formulapisces · 1 year ago
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shamelessly vagueing here and this sounds harsh but jesus some people really need to start realising not everything is about them.
not in a stuck up, the world revolves around me, arrogant way. but in a they’re not laughing about you, they’re not gossiping about you, you’re just insecure, reading into every little thing, hurt and need help type of way.
#it annoys me so much and i feel so bad saying it because i used to be one of those people but people really just need to take my word here#and no amount of reassurance will help these people it will only make it worse because they feed off of it and if you don’t reassure them#they’ll think you’ve betrayed them and have been talking about them next#i’ve been one of these people and I KNOW it feels really shitty and it’s really hard to get through but there comes a point where it’s just#straight up self sabotage#its not about other people anymore you’re just doing it to yourself#and it honestly pisses me off because from an outside perspective you’re just bringing everyone else down instead of doing anything about i#i KNOW mental health is more nuanced than that and that sounds so mean but ugjansiwnsjwo it’s just been annoying me#i’ll support you 100% but you cannot be coming to me every single day saying you know blah blah blah hates you when actually they think the#are your friend#so now YOURE the one talking behind peoples backs and hurting people and i CANNOT STAND ITTTTT!!!!!#just ugh#vague posting for the fun of it and it’s 6:00am and need something to distract me from crocheting#and i’m really trying not to be mean by saying all of this#just a post made out of frustration#i want nothing but healing for these people all they’re doing is pushing more people away and i don’t think they realise it and they put th#blame on others instead#because that’s exactly what i did#and looking back i was a really shitty person to these people and am so sorry 😭#long notes rant but please someone tell me they know what i mean by this 😭#irls got me worked up 😭#alèssi says things#pleeeeease someone understand and know i’m not just jumping on depressed people 😭🥲🥲#(editing to add by being really shitty to these people i don’t mean the insecure ones i mean my friends when i was like this)
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