#ANYWAY ignore me
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#feeling like a shit stirrer today#so look away if you're not into it#but jesus#the number of takes i've seen in the last couple days that essentially amount to#'it's so good they put buck with someone physically bigger than him because that way he can be all soft and protected#and emotionally vulnerable because he has a big strong man to protect him'#is actively gross#and just feels like sanitized uwu top/bottom discourse#like a person's body type does not dictate whether they are allowed to express emotions or be vulnerable#please#like the weird gendered implications of that particular reading are so very not it for me#anyway#i don't know y'all#911 discourse#anti bucktommy#just in case#like i AM anti bucktommy in general at this point#but this post is only actually anti this particular take#and like the way it feels like it assumes tommy shouldn't need to be protected / taken care of / emotionally vulnerable / etc#is just kind of very gross to me#people in a relationship are meant to be partners their ability to care for one another is not dictated by their physical attributes#i can't believe that requires saying like goddamn y'all#anyway ignore me#might delete later
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keeper marethari: may the dread wolf never catch your scent
me: nawwrr may he catch it please
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Cyberpunk 2077: You can't romance Johnny Also Cyberpunk:
#Raksh posts#Raksh's gaming adventures#cyberpunk 2077#johnny silverhand#pls ignore the bad quality of these screenshots#I am not adept at making them#but I saw these and just#it's so freaking funny to me#they had to know what they were doing#and that smirk on him! goodness grace#he's not even the character Im most salty about being non-romanceable#that's Takemura and I WILL ALWAYS BE SALTY ABOUT THE WASTED POTENTIAL#but that's a whole other post#anyway ignore me#Im just currently back on my CP77 bullshit#circling through all the games in recent months it seems#and finally replaying CP77 now#maybe this time I will actually finish it lmaoo#*puts on my clown costume* honk honk!
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just remembered that out of all of our important characters, at the end of iron flame, we don't know if bodhi or Garrick are alive.
I don't have my copy to hand do this is being do entirely from memory so if it's not 100% right then I apologise
but after the battle ends we know that brennan, mira, sloane, aaric/cam, Violet, and xaden are all alive. vi speaks to dain and then she speaks to Rhiannon who gives her a run down of the squad. sawyer is in the infirmary with jesinia and ridoc, imogen, and quinn have all been injured but nothing is too serious. I think the fliers are all fine as well because they were more involved with the infirmary and evacuations at the end.
but there is no mention of bodhi or Garrick.
and we don't know if there's a dead green dragon like I've seen some people say. I actually remember this part really well for some reason. vi says that there are dead dragons - does not specify colour - then says she doesn't recognise any of them. she's spent way too much time working on revolution stuff with Bodhi not to recognise cuir I would think
#anyway ignore me#im sleep deprived with a lot of hours still awake ahead of me#fourth wing#the empyrean#bodhi durran#iron flame#garrick tavis
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wdym it's the "first day of autumn" it's been autumn for 22 days here already
#these cut-off dates being spoken about as if they're universal always makes me scratch my head#autumn is just sep-nov here idk 🤷#🐭📓#anyway ignore me
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Ok wait im actually spiraling over the implications that red dwarf and trek exist in the same universe. I might have to write a fic about it. I wanna see garak be a cunt to cat so so bad. Hed be so condescending and cat would just openly insult him. Rimmer would try so hard to get into opps and sisko would have to curve him in the most polite ways he could until hes had enough and then rimmer would be so hurt over it and try to join the dominion. Odo would really dislike rimmer at first and then grow to be the only person who feels bad for him other than dave. Kira would want to kick his ass so bad tho. Everyone would love kryten so much (especially dax) and lister would join in on whatever miles and julian are playing in the hollosuite. The despair squid would show up somehow
#cat woul call garak a lizard and hed be so pissed and complain to julian whod be like ‘well hes not entirely wrong’#yea I might have to write this#could use a respite anyways since the fic im working on is beating my ass with a shovel#it was only gonna be like 2k and after a month of working on it its currently sitting at around 6k 😖#anyway ignore me#red dwarf is my other media special interest btw. but im starting book of the new sun this week so we might get a third who knows#i have the scifi autism so its a distinct posibility#regnarposting
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Ever since I noticed the different ways Vil signals her gender identity and gender presentation in the original Japanese, the more and more I wish that there was a way for us to get a complete revision of Book 5 where the nuances of Epel's cultural identity, Vil's gender presentation, and the ways the two clash in cultural understandings and ideals are ACTUALLY demonstrated in the localization for English only readers. Because they aren't. Vil's gender presentation and Epel's cultural rootedness are both watered down and erased from the English. And what's worse is watching both turn into superficial charicatures of their intended design, in order to accommodate an uninformed Western audience.
With Epel's very specific rural understanding of masculinity and feminity, and Vil's urban, gender-nonconforming understanding of masculinity and feminity, we have an incredibly nuanced and intersectional conversation about self-realization. And English only fans get to see none of it.
Of COURSE Epel is rejective of Vil's expectation of embracing feminitiy. He's a cis male who grew up likely in the rural country side, with hints of rural, possibly rural Osakan dialect in his dialogue. Of COURSE his expectations of masculinity and feminity clash with Vil, a femme non-binary person who is both an idol/celebrity and who has lived her entire life in urban settings. He likely has deep seated misogyny that he has to contend with. He likely has deep seated transphobia that he has to contend with. It's not that he himself is dysphoric; it's that his expectations of masculinity, his tate shakai, and his understanding of collectivism reject and clash with a sub-culture that permits and encourages the exploration of self expression, and views those forms of self realization AS maintaining the collectivist status quo, rather than violating it. When his understanding of self-realization dictates he must be and act a certain way as to not break the collectivist status quo, of course, Epel looks at Vil and thinks that what she is asking him to do is uncomfortable.
Of COURSE Vil sees Epel's rural world view and wishes to challenge him on it. Of COURSE she also FAILS to understand his perspective and find it irritating and uncouthed. She ALSO has biases against rural cultures, as indicative by her dialogue and Tokyo dialect. It's not that she wants Epel to "become girly", but rather that she wants to see him fit in and join the mold of Pomefiore. Because in Pomefiore and in the idol world, ruralisms and a rooted rural identity clash with the status quo. Her understanding of the collectivist culture and mindset within the dorm and within her culture dictate that HE is the one stepping out of line... all while he believes SHE is the one stepping out of line.
There are just so many layers here, and without any help from the localization, nor cultural understandings of the values and norms that inform the writing of this game.... of course. Of course Book 5 is watered down.
#i am beside myself#anyway ignore me#i have a lot of feelings about Epel and Vil and I think my friends are tired of me ranting in their dms over it#also for reference: Vil refers to herself solely using the female “I” pronoun あたし in the Japanese#Vil also only refers to herself with feminine connotated terminology#while also maintaining masculine grammar and masculine intonation patterns in her speech#she also responds to masculine terms but only by other students#and Ortho only refers to her in gender neutral terms during Book 7#so while Vil is gnc and clearly existing in some form of nonbinary identity#Vil would use “she” in English#seris talks#ramblings#twst#epel felmier#vil schoenheit#twst book 5
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just saw a cc hair that may single-handedly revive my hyperfixation on the sims
#I haven’t been keeping up yall have been C R E A T I N G#some serious beautiful new cc I nearly can’t resist#I haven’t married sterling yet tho smh#suffering from success#anyway ignore me#lol#text#it’s truly a matter of time though#I just can’t quit her
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adult wins, adult anxieties and fears and frozenness.
#I take my responsibilities so seriously and I take my work so seriously and so consequently myself so seriously#and that last one I need to not do#it doesn’t all come down on me. I am not in charge of everything or in control of everything#anyways I’ve just been absolutely wrestling these past few weeks with my internal landscape#if that makes sense#but it’s this thing where I just feel full of layers of deception#to other people because no matter who I’m talking to there’s something they don’t understand about me.#and this part of my brain goes insane when I’m tired and stressed and empty#and I have simply been doing so much non-stop#that I am due for a crash and a rest#unfortunately my brain also loves to torment me when I am tired and stressed#(it’s because of the tiredness and stress)#not a thought here is coherent or connected#but I need to rest and recharge#it’s like I keep finding new aspects of me that i can push harder. increased stamina. mental strength. more Finely honed observations#so I’ve just been doing it (everything life teaching conversations existing) at a much higher rate of intensity#and productivity#but the exhaustion this produces is new to me and it’s very scary and idk what to do with it#(rest. change my metaphorical tires. sleep. recharge)#anyway ignore me
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Working on a fic and all I can think about while writing the outline is “how many whump tropes can I stick in this thing”
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Big fan of the way Jacob carries Maisie around like a sack of potatoes. Even bigger fan of the way Maisie grabs hold of Jacob's forehead when she gets nervous
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If I hit 6000 followers I'll put this tiny cowboy hat on one of my cats and show y'all the picture. They're both really cute.
#han rambles#i'm only like 250 away#which is nuts since I was just over 5k like a couple months ago#anyway ignore me#lol
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I relate to Guillermo because I too am gay, goth, and insanely loyal with terrible taste in partners
#also nandor bc ive been through at least 4 failed romantic pursuits in the past year and a half#anyway ignore me#ramblies#vent#wwdits
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finally finished the main editing round of this 30k fic and turns out now it's only 23k words long which like. i love deleting shit when editing, truly, but that's 7k words. can we not try and be concise the first time around like girl pls
#*mine#mona rambles#it's slightly higher percentage than usual but not that out there. it just gives me a minor crisis every time#like they had to go!! it's good they went!!! my editing process definitely has a lot of 'we can sum these 5 paragraphs up in 3 sentences!'#but lord. 7k words. at the speed i'm writing nowadays that's 3 nights worth of writing💀#anyway ignore me#bagginshield angst coming to your ao3 sometime this week maybe#i still have two rounds to go but they're usually quicker at least
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Being a lonely lesbian at the Charli xcx party and being stuck working instead of dancing with pretty girls kinda sucks actually lmao
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I love how they only gave me 5 oxycodone 5mg for an oral surgery that involved him having to crack my literal bone here and there, but they gave me 10 whole Percocet 10mg after my c-section, which was arguably the least painful surgery I've had. (I've had a handful.) Like, I took the Percocet maybe twice after I got home from the hospital with my son, and was like "whoa, this is overkill". The prescription ibuprofen was fr enough.
This 5mg doesn't really feel like it's doing much. I mean, it's helping?... but I still have to stay in bed with ice packs on me and can't do anything. 🙄 And IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE WORSE TOMORROW APPARENTLY.
#ignore me#drug mention#granted... they gave me that percocet in appalachia... which is where i got all of my surgeries except this one#and they really are more generous prescribing their opioids in WV and whatnot#which i have mixed feelings about... :/#anyway ignore me
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