#I’m literally just a body
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#i feel so bleh#my life is so boring#I’m literally just a body#a shell of a human#nothing going on nothing to live for#i hate it here i really do djaldjal#I’m tired of waiting for it to get better.#how long do i have to wait ??????#I’m impatient !!!!!!!!#i cant do this for much longer !!!!#I’m probably being too dramatic but whatever#me waiting for something to happen while doing the bare minimum to make it happen#i KNOW I’m the problem. I KNOW I AM.#but i don’t know what to do to fix it.#well. i do. in a way#but i have no ENERGY to do it#thats the worst part isnt it? knowing what needs to be done but just. not being able to do it
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Your highness… I don’t feel so good
#I was literally getting the same feeling I got watching Jimmy’s empires 2 when I was watching scars stream from 2 days ago…#and then doc said THAT. full body chills. thanks#hermitcraft#hermitcraft s10#docm77#docm77 skyblock#hermitcraft skyblock#idk how to tag that man#art escapades#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#empires smp#empires s2#sheriff jimmy#tumble town#uhhhh idk what else to tag hopefully that covers it#idk… something about scar and Cleo and Joe all teasing him relentless despite the fact that he was obviously Actually upset#(‘I’m sure it’s actually fine but just. the vibes of someone who’s sick of getting messed with getting relentlessly messed with. yknow)#it makes me feel vaguely sick#again I’m sure they’re fine but idk man he sounded so mad#so naturally. whatever this is happened in my brain#I’m normal I just needed to get this out of my system <3#there’s some really interesting parallels happening here that I can’t quite put into worse#words*#so I put it into images instead… hopefully you’re getting my brain waves
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watching the sdcc panel and i am just very :) about how sweet their answers to “what are some of the micro moments from the game that have stuck with you the most over the years?” are. taliesin saying what the fuck is up with that which was the first like The Party Gets To Know Each Other moments of c3. travis saying asking his wife if he could kiss her in campaign. marisha going way back to the cannonball competition in campaign one. ashley choosing the beauyasha date but also just the silly goat noise matt made. liam adding onto that to compliment matt roleplaying grass so well and then saying his favourite moment was writing a story for laura and reading it to her as caleb for jester. and then matt saying that was his answer, and that his favourite moments of the game are when they find ways to give gifts to each other whether tangible or not. and sam saying his favourite moments have less to do with the story and is more so when he can just. see his friends across the table from him. when marisha perches and when laura and ashley are (badly) drawing dicks and liam saying he loves when sam sneezes and ashley tells him to stop it and just. yeah. they Are an extremely popular online powerhouse, but i’m so happy that they’re also friends building a world together out of gifts to and love for one another.
like i Am so enamoured with the characters and the world of exandria but the moments when you can feel the love that those people have for each other reach out from behind the stained glass of their performances (to steal a metaphor from brennan lee mulligan) are so extremely special and i am endlessly grateful that they decided to share their silly little home game with the world.
#it’s just the. laura and travis’ characters always being supportive of one another when they’re facing hardship#taliesin and marisha consistently making characters who challenge one another and still protect each other relentlessly#all of them being so fond of ashley’s characters always and literally seeing them light up in c1 episodes when ash got to join in person#sam and liam always making characters who offer one another reprieves into kindness that they don’t always get in the campaign setting#liam making orym after falling in love with keyleth as vax#marisha making laudna after matt’s storytelling with delilah and choosing vex as her body double#ashley using ‘i would like to rage’ and matt having kord ask her where she finds her strength#laura and matt always weaving these deeply complicated and emotional interactions between a daughter and a father#the gasps and yells and clapping when matt makes cool sound effects or reveals a map or breaks/ends on a cliff hanger#them ending both campaign 1 and 2 with ‘what a great/nice story’ and travis saying ‘let’s do it again!’#and it’s like. yes yes i love the comics and i’m a fan of tlovm but . seeing this well produced thing that somehow mimics#the feeling i get sitting in my living room laughing with my roommates about my ranger’s giant rat failing to climb stairs#it’s very special it’s very sweet#critical role#sdcc 2023#taliesin jaffe#travis willingham#marisha ray#ashley johnson#liam o’brien#matthew mercer#laura bailey#sam riegel#cr cast#critical role cast#my posts
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*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*
Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.
You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah
I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender
…..I made the moodboard….
#chapter 37#of 120 or something#I must be like 90k words in haha#large word count is not an intimidation. It’s an invitation haha#I love the fics that I can’t read in just one hour:)#I gotta say I don’t enjoy the concept of making robots into organic life#it’s just my preference#seeing them as humans or animals or whatever feels so fucking wrong#the concept itself drives me off#like. Strongly#But at the same time. This fic isn’t about them being ‘haha cute organics’#it’s ‘oh god. I was turned into something I’m not’#instead of teeheee they’re fluffy#it’s please free me from this fucking nightmare. please let me be myself again.#idk how to explain. I resonate I guess#it often feels very disturbing but the characters are also disturbed#So now I’m kind of stuck reading this fic because I just can’t stop lol#just politely skipping the parts that make me too uncomfortable#also#the body horror is….damn. Impressive. I didn’t expect to read about grotesque fleshy creature turning itself inside out#it’s not even aesthetic or symbolic#it literally looks like a fucking nightmare. Which is impressive also.#the flesh is g r o s s#the beginning got me struggling and skipping#but the intermission is currently ruining my sleep schedule#oh fuck….I usually send my posts to the authors of the fics I read…..but I feel like I might offend the author of Ninth if do this……..#there’s a tiny chance they’re following me….if it’s true then I wanna tell I’m sorry pls don’t take this seriously#your fic got me waay out of my comfort zone#huge points for writing Ratchet. Drift in this fic is…the grossest fucking thing I could probably imagine but Ratchet doesn’t even hesitate#he helps him and he cares for him. Which is…..imma be real my first instinct would be to set Drift on fire to end his misery
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i can’t believe octavian died like… that. of all things in a middle grade kids books series. and everyone was chill about it. literally no one gaf octavian died so horrifically even if it was ‘just’ —and as the readers… we were chill with it too
#octavian pjo#pjo series#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#no but like ??? hello??? he CATAPULTED HIMSELF INTO A FLAMING METEOR DYING GODDESS??? AND EVERYONE (MIND YOU THEYRE LIKE 14 AND JUST WITNESS#ED THIS) AND LIKE THEYRE COOL WITH IT TOO NO ONE GAF — IN FACT NICO LITERALLY JUSTIFIED DOING THAT EVEN.#they could’ve like. arrested octavian.??? punched him in the face during his lament and K.O.’ing him#and they drag his unconscious body away and go on w their lives. LIKE WTF#there’s MORE RATIONAL ENDINGS TO THIS#have i mentioned octavian this guy i think he is FRESHLY turned eighteen. so maybe a senior in highschool with some issues in his noggin#(this is assuming rick even like. thought of anything of that and just needed a quick way to Wheee octavian out of the way cuz he didn’t#intend for him to be anything but a one dimensional bully that drives the B maybe C plot )#anyway#pjo hoo toa#nico di angelo#adjacent cause i’m talking him#will solace#also this reminds me they do a shitty job of bringing this back up in TSATS. don’t get me started on TSATS i’m sorry…..#octavian hoo#HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE A LAST NAME OH MY GOE#GOD#FUCKING HELL#he got the Celia (iykyk. fuck cc and hb) treatment#sorry i’ll shut up now#percy jackson
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Karlach
#my art#bg3#karlach#illustration#digital art#tiefling#fantasty#baldur's gate 3#dnd#y’all this outfit nearly killed me#bbg ily but if I have to stare at it any longer I’m going to yeet myself I s2g#anyway the bg is inspired by Leyendecker#it was the most painterly I’ve ever felt while working on a digital piece#literally just shoving color around with a transparent oil brush#no gradient or blending we die like men#did I mention that Rhea Ripley was my body reference lmao#team make Karlach beefier you cowards
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#brought to you by: literally everyone in shows and movies screaming like a banshee and me going…😐#I just feel like most people would be confused at first/get closer/realize it’s a body and then be like OH SHIT and stumble away#but I’m curious how people think they’d react
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Um actually I have something more to say about Kabru and Mithrun’s similarities and relationship.
I think a lot abt how it’s shown a few times how elven culture relies heavily on non-natural ways of doing things, and it’s interesting especially how like our main cast repeats multiple times the three steps to living a long and healthy life. Meanwhile the canaries, the elves, don’t necessarily recognize that stuff as important as it is. I think specifically of the example of Mithrun explaining to Kabru that he has to have medication or a spell otherwise he can’t sleep, to which Kabru tucks him in and gives him a massage which knocks him out cold. His dependency on other methods to fight off insomnia were kinda just in his head, he hadn’t tried anything else. I mean prior to joining the canaries he was fully restrained 90% of the time so ofc a servant would just come in and place a spell for him to sleep every night. And he was like that for years. And then Cithis just replaced all his caretaker servants, then it became her job to make sure he took a pill or listened to her bells every night. I think there’s something there about how there’s a list of stuff Mithrun wasn’t allowed to be around and when he gets separated from the canaries he encounters all of that since Kabru doesn’t know to “protect” Mithrun or restrain him so severely. And it’s interesting because Mithrun doesn’t even seem to have issues with the things, like ofc top on the list was he wasn’t supposed to see goats or sheep. One of the first things he and Kabru eat is barometz. Its something to me that Kabru, who has also suffered so much, takes Mithrun into this dungeon and he has to face head on what’s been bothering him, he has to look his trauma in the eyes. And eat it. He cannot move on until he sees it, understands it, and finally starts talking about himself (���the last desire I had left wasn’t revenge, I wanted the demon to finish me off” “I was scraps left on the plate […] I guess vegetable scraps have their uses too”)
It just seems to me like a more vague and overarching way we see the elven cultural mindset hold him back from properly healing, I don’t think Kabru knew what he was doing at all but the fact of the matter is no one was filtering Mithrun’s view of the world anymore. And while Mithrun believed that didn’t matter to him, nothing mattered, it still made a difference. He was still on the path to moving on, and properly healing, even though he didn’t quite recognize that.
#dungeon meshi#not overtagging this sory#I’ve been having a lotta Mithrun thoughts despite saying i don’t like him very much#</3#not a Kabru/Mithrun shipper just bc I can’t get behind#shipping Kabru with the guy his mom used to be coworkers with#and she also like. oversaw his rehabilitation. for years#but I mean I see the dynamic that fact just bothers me when I consider it myself#do whatever you want. thumbs up emoji#these quotes aren’t exact and there’s no image proofs#this is a messy one I’m literally just getting my thoughts out#this post was originally drafted at like 4am#Cortana send this thing out into the world#also slightly off topic but does#anyone else ever think abt the implications of marcille’s dungeon lord dress being#corseted in a story where body fat shows strength and love of life#the demon gave her a dress that made her appear unnaturally thin. hey can anyone hear me#hello. hey
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tbh binghorse has been on my tl so much it doesn't even faze me anymore. nor any of the skin creatures really. kinda feels like you've made me immune to the horrors? thanks I suppose 😭
BWAHAHA MY PLAN IS COMING TO FRUITION (you’re welcome~! 🫶💖)
#mushyrt#asks#svsss#tw: body horror#but no genuinely that has been my plan from the beginning#it’s been so effective that I’m also desensitized#I’ve forgotten the psychology term for it#exposure therapy? systematic desensitization?#it’s probably just called desensitization#because it’s literally just getting used to a stimulus to the point to you don’t notice it#idk it’s been a while since I last took psychology#it’s kinda similar to the slowly boiling frogs metaphor/analogy
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oh i’ll ride it
taglist : @itsgrimeytime @catt-leya @addicted2twd @starkstiless @blazemm98 @sinsandsweetness @urfavblackbimbo @andrewstinkylinky @eternalrose81 @marlboro-reds-13 @dxrkymxrchy @nadiasgf @taylormarieee @loveforcarl @virtualreader @versatilehater
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#i need him in a way that literally sets humanity back 100 years#my soul just left my body#i’m so back#my body had a reaction#his fresh shaven look was soooooo#my fav ride#would do anything like ANYTHING#the walking dead#rick grimes#andrew lincoln#rick grimes smut#rick grimes x reader#rick grimes fluff#rick grimes x you#andrew lincoln smut#rick grimes fanfiction#rick grimes x female reader
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trad wife jace with his ridiculously rich, totally not shady, brain surgeon husband aemond.
#this is basically a hannibal au#just less cannibalism (if you want) and more psychological brainwashing#can be body horror too if you like the idea of brain surgeon aemond playing around in jace’s head (literally)#it’s mostly just programming your boyfriend into the perfect malewife#nothing sinister about it ! nope !#okay i’m going to sleep now ☺️#jaemond#aemond x jacaerys#jacemond#aemond targaryen#jacaerys velaryon#house of the dragon
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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what if we all reacted to weight loss the same way ppl act about weight gain
“are you…..doing okay?”
“oh wow did you lose weight? (judgmental)”
“I don’t think you’re eating right you look…..different”
and then when they’re like no I’m ~~dieting~~ you can just say “oh…okay.”
#I literally would never do this because it’s rude to comment on anyone’s body but like#sometimes I just want to flip the script#diet tw#tw diet culture#I’m just feeling angry about systemic bullshit today don’t mind me
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The moment my therapist finally, and fully understood that I’m autistic was halfway into me explaining myself experimenting on my own brain chemistry after reading a report that people with ADHD get dopamine hits from sweet things that can combat some of the ADHD bs, buying a large container of Nutella, and eating a spoonful every afternoon to see if I could overcome the executive dysfunction for several months, then going without to see if there was a difference.
#autustic#ADHD#therapy#science#lol#I literally could see the moment it happened right in his face#the thought was so clear#like ‘oh#they ARE autistic#meanwhile I’m going into how the science seems sound but my body does not need an entire container of Nutella just so my mind will work#and how much of a difference my new adhd med is making#and how many emails and phone calls I made just yesterday alone
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so many of y’all do not know jack!!!!!!!!!
#edit: this is a general statement but#this is specifically about the scene of him stabbing himself in the bunker#so many of you are Wrong about why and just want to go ‘bad parent dean’ and ‘he was trying to kill himself because dean wasn’t accepting#him’ like WHAT!!!!!!! he just got stabbed and didn’t die?!?! so he stabs himself again and again as confirmation that he is Abnormal. he is#a Threat. he killed a man and hurt his new friend’s mom after he killed his own mom just by being born. he can hurt people and nothing hurts#him. he’s not scared of dean or sad about dean. he has bigger problems. it’s why he kneels down in front of the gun in s14. also they’d#known each other less than a week so i’m tired of people acting like dean was such a huge parallel to john by being abusive. he didn’t even#know jack as a person at that point#and not only that but jack didn’t know himself either. and no not bc he’s ’an infant in an adult body’ or whatever y’all keep saying#but he doesn’t even know what he *is* and he doesn’t understand how he operates. like he is literally having an existential crisis and it’s#all boiled down to dean and ignores jack’s complexity. gah#jack kline#supernatural
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Hear me out I know I already did a jealous price Drabble but I didn’t know how to put the vision in my head into words without sounding ridiculous but now I can thanks to this gif set so please hear me out
When Price is jealous he doesn’t like to make it obvious, matter of fact you can’t get him to admit for all the money in the world.
He’ll stand next to you rocking on his heels and gaze trailing across the room while you’re chatting it up with some starstruck recruit or someone else who’s getting a little chummy with you. He won’t intercept, won’t send a glare, will mostly stand in the background while the two of you are chatting away (save for the part where he’ll politely introduce himself)
Later on when it’s just the two of you you’ll try to confront him about his jealousy, he’ll fold his arms across his chest, doing his best to meet your gaze, while putting a confused look on his face. “Don’t know what you’re talking about darling” he’ll say, while sniffling even though he feels the heat creeping up his neck and ears and knows the flush on his cheeks is a dead giveaway to how he’s feeling. However he might, might, might, just consider fessing up if you give him a kiss on the cheek
#isth yesterday when writing the price Drabble I was like something is missing but it sounded so silly when I first wrote like ‘fidgeting’#I just didn’t know how to explain his body language#I’m literally rocking back and forth out of excitement I love#john price#john price x male reader#john price x reader#captain price x reader#captain john price x male reader#captain john price#call of duty#scribbles
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