#bbg ily but if I have to stare at it any longer I’m going to yeet myself I s2g
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Karlach
#my art#bg3#karlach#illustration#digital art#tiefling#fantasty#baldur's gate 3#dnd#y’all this outfit nearly killed me#bbg ily but if I have to stare at it any longer I’m going to yeet myself I s2g#anyway the bg is inspired by Leyendecker#it was the most painterly I’ve ever felt while working on a digital piece#literally just shoving color around with a transparent oil brush#no gradient or blending we die like men#did I mention that Rhea Ripley was my body reference lmao#team make Karlach beefier you cowards
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I need something borderline illegal. Like dark and twisted. Like I want to question my moral compass but read on.
Am I asking for dad’s best friend!Joel? pshhhhhh. Am I asking for bratty! reader?? Pshhhhhh. Am I asking for anything???
Am I asking for smutty smut?! Yes I am.
Ofc if you are uncomfortable with any of these don’t hesitate to ignore this and also no pressure ily ❤️
a/n: reader isn't bratty, im sorry! i forgot :((
sleep
pairing: dbf!Joel Miller x f!virgin!reader
summary: Joel can’t stay away from you any longer.
warnings: 18+ MDNI, alcohol, voyeurism/somnophilia + dub-con, dry humping, cum in pants
wc: 4.0k
a/n: i hope this is dark enough!! the only reason the ask is a ss instead of the actual thing is cus i formatted the whole story then realized i forgot to put it in the reply to the ask (loosely proofread)
It’s 2 am and Joel can’t stop thinking about you. How you’re sleeping soundly in his room, in his bed, in his shirt as pajamas because you had “forgotten to pack some”, something you both knew was a lie. He knows you’re toying with him, you started a bit before, but since you’ve turned 18? It's just been on rapid fire.
He pulls out his phone and scrolls through your text thread, scoffing at every other conversation. It was so apparent, in every text, how badly you want him.
Mon, Aug 16 at 4:41 AM
bbg: big man! text me when u wake up i have a joke
You: Why are you awake at this time?
bbg: wtf why are YOU awake 🤨
You: I have trouble sleeping, you know that.
bbg: aww poor joey 😢
You: Are you going to answer my question, darling?
bbg: im doing skincare and stuff
You: You have to wake up this early for that stuff?
bbg: can’t put a price on feeling bonita
You: Why are you speaking Spanish now?
bbg: nevermind lmao
bbg: so have u tried meditation
You: What?
bbg: for your sleeping troubles
You: I’m not that kind of guy.
bbg: what about getting off
You: Excuse me?
bbg: like masturbation n stuff
You: I know what you’re saying.
You: I don’t understand why you’re talking about this with me.
bbg: we haven’t even talked about it 😭
bbg: obviously we can end the convo if ur uncomfy but its a very good way to fall asleep
He remembers needing a pause after he read that text for the first time. It had only been four months since your birthday and you were already drastically different. Joel never expected it, he always thought your feelings had already reached their limit but it turns out you were holding back because you weren’t of age. Now that you are… He doesn’t know what he’s going to do. His morals may not be strong enough for the thought of “ his best friend's daughter” to hold him back. He’s already rationalized himself out of the “daughter's best friend” thought. You’re not even going to school together anymore. Sarah lives on campus so you guys never see each other and you barely ever text.
You: I have not.
bbg: what? literally how?
bbg: you should
bbg: it totally works
You: That’s good to know.
You: Get back to your skincare, honey. I’ll message you later.
Mon, Aug 16 at 5:03 AM
bbg: joel?
Mon, Aug 16 at 5:37 AM
bbg: are you masturbating?
You: Sweetheart. You can’t ask me things like that. It’s not right.
bbg: u didnt answer! i got curious
You: Still.
bbg: i dont see the problem we’re both adults 🫢
You: Barely.
bbg: dont be mean
You: Do you need something
You: I said I’d text you later
bbg: wow no punctuation?
You: Busy
bbg: getting off?
He remembers staring at your text, unbelieving that you’d send him something like that, so forward, so dirty. He remembers the thought that you were joking. Obviously, you don’t expect him to say yes, that’s why you asked in the first place. Maybe his perverted mind was interpreting your behavior as flirting but you’re just being yourself around him. All these thoughts were swirling in his head but the feeling of his hand flying over his cock, pretending it’s yours, that you're in his ear whispering to him... That thought was stronger, that feeling was stronger.
You: Yes.
bbg: good. have fun, joey
He gets up for his fourth beer, hoping to drown the impure thoughts, starring you, that plague his mind. It’d be so easy to have you, you’ve been throwing yourself at him since you turned 17. He’s been ignoring it, adamantly. It wasn’t right, despite the age difference, the fact that you’re his daughter’s best friend and his best friend’s daughter. On top of that, you only just turned 18.
You’ve been staying at Joel’s for a month. He takes the guest room because you say that his bed is better. You haven’t gone home because your dad is still working on your birthday present/room renovations and he doesn't want you to see it until it’s done. He offered up Joel’s house to keep you, knowing his best friend wouldn't mind, unknowing that his best friend was corrupt for his daughter.
Joel was trying to ignore the way his body was heating up, still scrolling through the texts. He remembers that conversation perfectly. He remembers the adrenaline that was coursing through him as he confessed. He remembers how hard he came at your response. When thinking about this conversation he also remembers the guilt, it’s the most vivid emotion he remembers, usually. But the alcohol seems to be drowning that part out, and Joel scrolls on.
He finds a patch of texts that he actively avoids, usually. It’s picture after picture of you in the most adorable outfits in the most suggestive positions. There are plenty of you lying on your back, some with your head turned to show off your perfectly curved, unmarked, un-bitten, neck. There are a few where you’re sitting down with the camera angled up, giving Joel too many situations his head can come up with. Then there’s the worst one, his favorite- he doesn’t even know how you took this one. You’re sitting on your knees, hands rested on your thighs and you’re looking up at the camera with a shy smile.
There are two things about this photo that really fuck him up.
First, your smile, the way it lets him know that you’re trying to fuck him up, you know what you’re doing with this pose, this positioning, you’re even embarrassed by it, a little nervous about it but you still felt the need to take the photo, for him.
Second, the height, and the way the camera is positioned shows him that these photos were specifically crafted for him because the height the camera is at is exactly how he’d see you if you were on your knees like that for him.
You made sure that he noticed because the very next day, you needed him to tie a bow in your hair and instead of waiting for him to get off the couch you placed yourself on the ground, between his legs, in this pose. He had to hide his erection until you left and then fight the urge to get himself off in your room for the rest of the night.
He glances at his room door, you’re sleeping so soundly in there.
She wouldn’t even notice if someone went in there right now. She definitely wouldn’t notice me… Hell, as if she’d mind either way… I mean- Would she?
The alcohol clouds his thoughts, gives him bad ideas, and then convinces him that they’re good- this one being one of them. He grabs his almost-finished beer and heads to the fridge to grab a fifth one, knowing he’ll be in there for a while.
He does this sometimes, you look so peaceful when you sleep… it’s the only time he can admire you without putting all his relationships at risk. He reaches the door and turns the knob slowly to avoid creaking. He enters the room, his socks padding his footsteps, and the darkness gives him no shadow. He moves one of your tops off of his desk chair and turns it to face your sleeping figure while placing his beers down. You’re already bringing a smile to his face. You’ve got your face shoved into one of his pillows, your arm tucked under it, and your leg is pulled up to your waist, sticking out from under his tan comforter. You’re wearing one of his hoodies for sleepwear—
Fuck.
and it doesn’t look like you have anything on your bottom half. It’s a little cold in his room so little goosebumps have bloomed over your exposed skin. He takes a swig of beer, finishing his fourth as he examines you. Your face twitches for a moment, your eyebrows furrow, and your nose twitches like a rabbit before calming back down. He opens the other beer and fills his mouth with it, hoping that the alcohol stops the fluttering in his stomach while he drinks it down.
You shiver a bit but your leg doesn’t move, the goosebumps just become more prominent. His hand is reaching out for you before he can think, rubbing your calf gently to soothe and warm you up a bit. You let out a relieved sigh at his contact and your leg presses further into his warmth. He has to take a deep breath as his mind runs wild, convincing him that this is some sort of sign, that even in you’re sleep you’re trying to be closer to him, that he should just give in.
No, she’s your best friend's daughter. Sure she’s her own person now, legally an adult, an’ can make decisions for herself… an’ yeah she’s not owned or controlled by anyone and just cause I’m friends with her father ain’t a fair reason to completely rule her out from being a potential partner… Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad… maybe it’s actually more fucked up for me to avoid her just cause of who birthed her. That’s totally not fair to her! I mean I know I wouldn't want anyone judging me based on who my parents are y’know? Maybe I should put myself in her shoes.
His breathing speeds up as he breaks through his last piece of resistance. Now he’s just trying to figure out how soon he can have you.
I’ll have to court her first, flirt with her a bit before asking her out to dinner, then maybe she’ll accept my offer to be my girlfriend by the third date… From there maybe she’ll have sex with me for the three-month anniversary… she might be a bit more timid than that but we’re looking at a four- five-month plan… That can work- I can definitely work with that.
You whine and stretch your body, your legs straighten and your arms spread out, you turn and rest one arm on top of your head before you lift your leg, bending it above your waist but with the other one this time. The new position leaves the blanket covering nothing but one of your inner thighs and to add insult to injury your raised arms lift his hoodie, revealing a beautiful sliver of your stomach.
Or I could have her now.
The thought is too powerful to stop, his opportunity is too perfect, Ellie is out with whatever girl she’s currently entertaining, and Sarah doesn’t live here anymore. Your father would never be awake at this time and Joel is hard, wanting, and so so ready for you. He’s crawling into bed beside you after downing half his beer for the nerves.
He shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t.
He settles next to you and your leg presses into him again, searching for him and his warmth. You slowly turn to him as he stares at you, watching how sluggish your movements are in your sleep. You snuggle into the pillow in front of him and take a long inhale of its scent, a little smile resting on your lips while you breathe out. Your face is inches from his, and his hand is down his pants in an instant.
The relief is heavenly, he’s been throbbing for you since he read those texts. He can’t help the way he reacts to you. He can smell your toothpaste on your breath as you gently snore in front of him. He wraps his warm hand around his cock and his soft lips part into an ‘O’. His eyes roll back for a second but he immediately focuses them back on you. He’s tugging at himself violently, not even thinking about savoring this moment, just needing to cum for you. He’s trying to hold in his sounds but you look so pretty, just seeing your face while he’s touching himself makes everything better, somehow you’ve turned his sensitivity as high as it can go.
Little whines and whimpers slip into your dream state. You’re confused by the sound, the rustling that coming from—? In front of you? Your brows furrow as you try to open your eyes. “Fuck” You hear someone say. It sounds like…
You open your eyes just in time to see Joel yank his hand out of his sweatpants and scramble as far as he can get from you before falling off the bed. You’re still confused as you take his form in. His shirt has ridden up a bit, exposing the salt and pepper hairs on his tummy. His hair is sticking all over the place, he stinks of beer, and his eyes are wide, focused on you. “Joey?”
Despite the horrid situation he’s in, his cock is still leaking for you, pulsing at the nickname. He can’t answer, he has to bite back a moan as he feels himself leak into the fabric of his pants. “Joel? What—” Your eyes flutter, almost falling shut but you shake yourself out of it and— Fuck.
You move closer to him.
You’re too snuggly when you’re sleeping, too cute, and too dumb. You’re not even questioning why your father’s best friend was in bed with you while you were sleeping. You don't want to risk him leaving and you don’t mind in the first place, you actually thought you were dreaming at first. Your heart almost stopped when your fingers actually latched onto his shirt after reaching out for him. He’s stiff as a board, deterring your touch so you pull your hands into your chest and bury your face in his.
Joel is almost shaking in exertion as you press your soft little body against his. It’s just your upper half, leaning into him and finding wam solace in his chest. He can handle this, he thinks. He can calm down, and be with you like this. He’s supposed to court you first anyway, he can’t believe himself. Was he really going to just get off with you in the same bed? What kind of pervert would even try something like that?
You hike your leg up over his waist, half asleep, not realizing your motions.
All his perverted feelings return with a vengeance.
You wiggle around a bit, trying to get comfortable but his cock twitches, flicking into your soft lips for a moment. At first, you really didn’t know what it was, all you knew was that the sensation felt good. So of course you chased it. Your hips grind into his cock arrhythmically, trying to find that same angle again, not realizing that you’re basically fucking him through your clothes. His hands have to come to your hips, gripping painfully for your eyes to snap open and your hips to freeze.
Your eyes widen further when you finally process the situation, and even in all your teasing and sensuality, at the end of the day, you’re still just a virgin. You never had any real intention of acting on your desires, especially if Joel wasn’t the one initiating.
Oh fuck. What did I do? What do I do? He’s just staring at me… Maybe he didn’t notice, I didn’t! But it felt so good. Will he let me? Maybe if I—
Your hips tilt into his before you can process whether this is actually a good idea or not. His hand tense over yours, like another shock of clarity through your bones. You shut your eyes tight, not wanting to see the disgust or uncomfortable pity in his face. “I’m so sorry, Joel. I didn’t… I-”
You try not to let tears well in your eyes as you whimper and pull back from him. But he doesn’t let you. His arms tense, his muscles flexing as he keeps your body pressed against his. You open your eyes, a bit shocked at his refusal to let you go but still too scared to meet his eyes. Your gaze is on his stomach, the way his gray shirt rode up, exposing the way his belly keeps tensing with every breath. “I-” He manages to get out before letting out a shuddering sigh. You finally look at him.
His eyebrows are pulled taut in between his eyes, his gaze is something you’ve never seen before, and he almost looks angry. It’s desperate, but sorrowful, with the added haze from his intoxication. He keeps biting at his bottom lip, worrying it red as he tries to form a sentence for you. His hands tense over your hips again but this time they tilt you into him again. His face is a hard grimace as he slowly presses you into his raging bulge. You watch him fight with his expression, it keeps breaking into something weak before he goes back to his angry pout. You can’t help the way you press into him, you want to feel it again, that fire in the pit of your stomach that spreads to your soaking pussy the more he pulls you in. You watch his face contort into something heavenly. His brows pull up, almost shocked at how good you feel as his eyes roll back and shut. His entire body shakes as he melts into the pillow. He’s breathing deep and slowly, trying to regulate the pleasure he feels.
Now he’s focused on savoring the moment. He wants this to last as long as it possibly can. You’re making him feel incredible, he’s so sensitive, it’s like he’s been edging himself for you. You whimper, high-pitched and muffled but it’s so beautiful that he forces his eyes open. You have one hand gripping the bedsheet like it’s your lifeline and you have the other bitten between your teeth to hold your sounds in. Your hips are grinding into him at an uneven, unsteady, desperate pace and he’s mesmerized by the sight.
He knew you wanted him. He didn’t know you needed him. You’re fucking yourself against his cock like you’ve been waiting for it your whole life. Your hand comes up to grip his shoulder instead of the bedsheet. He grunts and tilts his hips further into yours, a sadistic smirk coming to his face at the sound of exclamation that shoots from your mouth once you’re able to grind your clit against his shaft. Your thrusts start to stutter at that, your body constantly wanting to fold in on itself from the assault of pleasure but you try and will yourself to keep going.
Unfortunately, your pace is ruined by your pleasure. Your sensitive body can’t handle how good his clothed cock is making you feel. You lose your pace and your pleasure becomes rocky and teasing. He watches as your face changes from pleasured to pouty. Little whimpers and whines of frustration slip from your lips, growing in volume and frequency the longer you’re unable to grind against him properly. Joel’s watching you through hooded eyes, fingers digging into your hips painfully at this point and all he wants is to not cum yet. He wants to make you cum first, he needs it, he needs to see it, to hear it.
He’s been telling himself it’s fine because you’re grinding against him, not the other way around. You’re choosing this, there’s no way he’s manipulating you, or swaying your decision if he stays completely indifferent. But you’re begging him now. You’re gripping desperately at his shirt, removing your hand from your mouth to grip him harder and pulling yourself closer, wrapping your arms around and moaning right against his chest. He shouldn’t. He can’t. But he does.
His eyes shut tight as his hands leave your hips. You almost climb on top of him in protest, whining a loud “N- Please.” into his chest as your leg hikes higher onto his waist. One of his hands cradles your head, pulling you further into his chest, muffling the moans you’re already letting out at his touch. His other hand goes to the small of your back, pressing you against him perfectly and guiding your rhythm as your hips start up again. He dares to speak. “S’this okay, baby?”
Your reaction to his voice is visceral. Your hands shoot up to his shoulder and hair, pulling yourself up a bit to bury in his neck, getting a new angle from his cock, now fucking him against your leaking hole. “So good, Joey. Thank- Thank you s’much. Thank you, thank you.” Your gratitude is like a searing knife through him. His entire body is set alight as he tries to regulate his breathing. He can feel goosebumps break out on his skin, his pleasure filling every molecule in his body, ready to overflow for you. Fuck. He’s definitely going to cum before you.
“Mm. Good, good girl. Just- Keep going, sweetness, take what— Shit. Take what you need, darlin’.” His breathing quickens and shudders as your hips increase their pace against him. He’s leaking continuously now, he’s getting in his head, trying to stop himself from cumming but every thought that pops into his mind just brings him closer to the edge. He can’t focus on anything but you. You’re moaning for him, grinding against him, this desperate for him.
The hand on your lower back migrates to the back of your neck, gripping you there, holding you in place as his hips begin to thrust into yours. “M’gonna cum, darlin’. Fuck, I wanted t- wanted to last for y- Mmm oh fuck.” His entire body starts to tremble as your nails dig into him so painfully he’s sure they drew blood. Your eyes are comically wide as your body tenses in his hold before breaking down into a shudder that overtakes your entire being. You’re cumming.
He explodes at the realization. In all his desperation, intoxication, and pure need… He was still able to make you cum first. He buries his face in your hair, huffing the scent as he floods his sweatpants. His eyes shut as tightly as they can as his orgasm tears through him. He’s been waiting so long for you to make him cum and now that it’s happening, it feels even better than he planned for. His low grunts turn into shocked moans when his orgasm doesn’t stop after shooting two ropes of cum against his sweats. You’re already coming down as he hits what feels like his second peak. You can feel his hands shaking over where they’re gripping you and you get an impulse that you act on without a second thought.
Your hand slides down from his shoulder quickly, over the sliver of stomach he’s showing off, and right down his pants. You don’t know what you’re doing so you just grip him, wrapping your hand around his shaft but it seems to do the trick. He lets out a sound that resembles someone getting kicked in the gut. His face is pulled from your hair as his head is thrown back. He arches into you a bit before his hips start thrusting into your fist, desperately prolonging his already overwhelming orgasm. It’s embarrassing; how long he was cumming for, the way his body was violently quivering for you, the ludicrously large dark spot spreading over his pants, showcasing how much he came for you.
He moans gently when he comes to. You’re stroking over his chest with a soft, sleepy, nervous smile. He pulls you in for a kiss before he can think about it. You guys haven’t discussed anything. Neither of you knows what this means for your relationship but you know that neither of you has felt more comfortable than when you’re in the arms of the other. So why question it now?
You fall into a deep sleep listening to Joel’s heavy snores, getting rocked to bed by the way his chest expands. It’s the best sleep of your life.
thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist!
psst psst. hey you!! i have a part 2 if u want 😏
#joel tlou#joel miller fanfic#joel miller smut#joel miller one shot#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfiction#pedro pascal last of us#pedro pascal#the last of us smut#the last of us#luvrxsmut#luvrxfics#smut#nsft#joel the last of us#sub joel miller#joel miller tlou#pedro pascal joel miller#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x female#joel miller the last of us#joel miller hbo
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2 - 58 The Detective Clubhouse Killing
Not to be confused with The Detective Club Killer
They took down MurdleJr again bc it was so buggy lmao
I may be reusing pictures now I can't even tell there are too many episodes
Anyway baby marshmallow
DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!
Irratino has a great idea! Certainly that means he’s going to Drakonia and rescuing Logico. Wait, no… he’s heading to the Detective Club. Looks like we got more filler, folks!
IRRATINO: Everyone!
Everyone doesn’t listen. They’re all busy staring at… can you guess?
AUBERGINE: Oh. Hey Irratino. IRRATINO: I have… news. BLUES: LOGICO’S BACK!! IRRATINO: What? No! I came to tell you that he’s missing! AUBERGINE: STILL? I figured you’d have him back as soon as you figured out where he was! IRRATINO: I still don’t know, I’m looking for clues… CHAMPAGNE: Well- He’s not here.
The sillies have gotten into some murder shenanigans, but there’s not too much going on. The more irrelevant places Irratino checks, the more murders he has to solve, and the longer it’s taking to actually get to Logico!
Champagne is reading the first page of many books without ever sitting down. Irratino gets distracted when he picks up one on astrology.
IRRATINO: Look! You’re a Capricorn, right? CHAMPAGNE: There’s no way you should be able to know th- IRRATINO: The creature that represents the Capricorn has horns just like yours! It’s like the sign was meant to be! CHAMPAGNE: Yeah, my cousin used to have horns and they’re not a-
Babyface Blue falls over and screams! That’s because they were hiding a golden flamingo in their coat which wounded Blue Pink.
BLUE: (I can’t… move…) It’s fine! I’ll deal with it! (Deal with what??) Your whining! ([whacks Blue A with the flamingo])
Forgot to mention, the fourth suspect is Judge Pine.
PINE: I came here for a murder party. And now everyone’s just doin’ their own thing! What am I supposed to do?! AUBERGINE: Well, duh. There’s no FOOD. What kind of party has no food? You know what I love? DINNER THEATER. A meal and a murder, what’s not to love?! PINE: NUH-UH! I eat my food nice and quiet. I don’t need no blood gettin’ in my lunch!
Irratino wishes Logico were here. These everyday murders lack their charm when he’s not there. Especially since Irratino isn’t very good at it. But he knows A way to get Logico’s input! An occult method called - oh, never mind, it’s private.
Using this method, he is able to see inside Logico’s head, and what he’s thinking.
LOGICO: I’m so tired. I hate this bed so much! Why hasn’t Irratino come yet? Oh shit, he’s probably trying to figure out who captured me and why first. Why are all the ads for beer? I’m so hungry.
Even now, Irratino doesn’t take the hint. But after seeing Aubergine prepare a full buffet, he knows the answer to the murder!
After the accusation, the dead person leaps to her feet. Irratino hadn’t even bothered to check if she was a human - it’s Azure! She and Aubz take a bow.
AUBERGINE: I just wanted to host my own dinner theater. And it worked! You totally fell for it!
Irratino smiles. It’s nice to have good friends. But it’d be even nicer if Logico was also there.
IRRATINO: Do any of you know who kidnapped Logico?
Champ, Pine, and the kids are devouring everything on the table, and pretend like they can’t hear him.
The end!
Irratino sweetie ily but you gotta stop trying to extend the season and just get your bbg already :'3
The power of Goat Lord compels you!
See you next time murdlers!
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