#I’m kinda insecure
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Waterfall
#I’m kinda insecure#I never draw backgrounds#because I suck at it#this sure was an experience#but it was actually very fun#I might try drawing another underground location?#if you want me to I insist you tell me which you would like to see#if you don want me to type#fuck you#and I’ll understand our intricate form of communication#im talking a lot#undertale fanart#undertale#waterfall#landscape#background painting#underground depicted#I made this cus at least i every time i look for waterfall fanart they never depict the stars and the rivers at the same time#also please notice the castle#i don’t care if it’s inaccurate#temmie
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I just wanted to draw a little kimono inspired painted lady
#katara painted lady obviously#because I love herrrr#I also love fabric#outfits with lots of layers and fabric? 🤌#I also know her hair should be kinda curly#but I like it like this#fanart#atla#atla fanart#avatar#avatar the last airbender#the last airbender#atla katara#katara#painted lady#I’m in a slump#I don’t know why I’m in a slump I just don’t like anything I draw at#I’m so insecure about it I hate it#I don’t know what I’m doinggg
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there’s something so personal about the scene in fantasy high s1e7 where gorgug calls himself stupid & fabian, who up to that point had basically entirely been acting like the bad kids (especially gorgug) were beneath him & had also been the one calling ragh stupid two lines ago, instantly says “okay, do not put yourself down like that. don’t you dare do that to yourself.” like it was obvious he liked the bad kids at that point but the instinct to protect his friends manifesting as an immediate strong refusal of gorgug’s self-deprecating talk kills me. that boy loves his friends so bad oh my god i feel sick.
#fabian seacaster#fantasy high#gorgug thistlespring#these two specifically are so dear to me#top 5 most underrated fh dynamic the girls that get it get it#acts of service (gorgug) meets words of affirmation (fabian)#spring break i believe in you. i hand you an orange. you never hug me / shut up.#THE TENDERNESSSS#it’s about gorgug fixing the hangman & fabian having no idea how to repay him other than saying ‘i’m gonna buy you an orange.’#when fabian a year ago had an insecurity about buying other people things bc he thought they’d just use him for that.#it’s about gorgug’s tin flower that’s tattooed on his arm being both symbolic of his roots & deeply tied to his relationship with fabian#it’s about fabian being the reason gorgug was in that fateful detention in the first place.#& gorgug being the first person to see fabian again in the nightmare forest.#all the bad kids are tied by destiny but god. fabian & gorgug you are so tied by destiny.#anyways i will not lie this far into my tags i expect nothing but in another universe they would be the slow burn of all time. to me.#it is so subtle & casual but there is so much love there it makes me kinda crazy.#but either way my beloveds who i think have helped bring out the best parts of one another but who r also both soooo lame (affectionate).#also i think it’d be funny if a) gorgug was the final bad kid to join the giant family tree via dating fabian#and b) telemaine was eventually gorgug’s grandather in law. can u imagine.#thistlecaster#fabigug#whichever one it is idk idc#they r just so gentle :(#UPDATE sorry i stopped right when this happened to write this whole post & literally like 5 minutes later gorgug has that idea to look at-#zayne’s pearl & his hunch isn’t right but fabian IMMEDIATELY jumps back in with ‘it’s moments like these that prove you’re smart’ GODSDD#when the fabian & gorgug dynamic hits it truly hits. besties/bfs ever i can’t decide they r simply so great
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DO IT. WRITE THE JOHN X KIERAN FIC AND I WILL READ IT TRUST
ALSO HAPPY NEW YEAR
happy new year to you as well :] !!! i hope it’s filled with fun and love and light !!!!!!!
WAUGH THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT 💔💔 now idk about a full fic but uuhhmmm i can offer you some silly doodles ? hopefully i’ll have the energy to draw/write them for real soon 😭
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and of course the 3rd boyfriend
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#i’ve been messing around so much with my art lately i fear not only have i gotten worse at it but also it’s now incredibly inconsistent#but i’m having fun !!! so whatever !!!!! eventually it’ll all even out and i’ll be able to stop making straight masterpieces out of midtown#thank you though anon i do greatly appreciate your unwavering encouragement of me 😭💛#it makes me happy that people want content from meeee :] it makes me feel special and a little less insecure abt what i make#i promise i’ll do my best to actually form a coherent thought about their dynamic soon because i truly haven’t been able to imagine how they#would ACTUALLY be yet 😭 i’m so tired lately#The Fog has got me. trust that as soon as it’s released me i will do my utmost to think of Them#i still don’t know what ship name to use for them 💔#i’m using#jovieran#for all three of them because. of course. it just flows so well#but just john and kieran 😭 their ship name options sound so silly#i’m going to settle on#duffston#for now ?#though i may also refer to them as joffy/jorffy because it’s cute to me#dude like they’re all so stupid#jieran#kierston#wait that one is kinda cute#marffy#kiern#maybe one of them will grow on me#i actually am becoming quite fond of kierston so i may stick wit that one … i don’t know please gelp#rdr2#kieran duffy#john marston#javier escuella#hero's yelling at folks again#hero draws sometimes
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I got to play my flute on stage the other day at my alma mater ��� I haven’t been back since the year I graduated and I haven’t played in so long in general…it made me spiral a bit, because it reminded me how my life feels meaningless without music, and I’m inspired to make playing a priority in my life again. 🖤
anyway here was my fit 😎
#personal#me#selfie#gpoy#ootd#tattoos#when I say meaningless I just mean that I literally dedicated my entire life to it#from 5th grade onward#and if there’s anything people knew about me it was that I was a musician and that I was a GOOD musician#I burnt out senior year and was dating someone so I stopped after graduating and my full time jobs didn’t allow flexibility to play#so I was sad to not play but as time passed I just kinda let it go?#but being on stage again (even a casual and fun setting like this) made me realize how much I miss it#I’m insecure about a lot but I know for a fact I belong on stage playing music
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anyone in the market for a chunky gremlin wife/baby momma
#screenshots of a cringe video i took trying to get used to how my body looks i just feel so separated from myself#i was definitely sitting on my wand which i think you can kinda see but i was too sad to nut rip#these are so bad quality just like the person in them lmao posting from a q during the busiest time at work bc i’m insecure<3#anyways its friday so here is my fat ass#body
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“Why’s he call you Darlin’?”
on my knees begging my brain to stop trying to associate this song with Sam
#(it’s too late guys i’ve already added it to a couple playlists. i can’t help it)#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted sam#redacted darlin#rp audio stuff#Seven’s Blorbo Songs#music stuff#i fell down a rabbit hole of music videos on YT last night and decided to give this song a chance based on the title obviously#skipped through all the exposition just to quickly find out if i liked the song or not#and as soon as the first line came in i went head-in-hands at my desk bc i just Knew it was over for me#i hate that i like it#it’s very repetitive and giving strong Modern/Mainstream Pop-Rap-Country vibes#but i’m not too proud to admit that i eat that shit up on occasion#‘You’ve been beatin’ ‘round the bush so much you’re knockin’ off the leaves.’ goes kinda hard tho i’m ngl#‘ole boy in a Ridgeline and i drive a Chevy’ would Sam be a truck elitist? hmm#i doubt it. i see him as too practical-minded to care about brand names and shit like that#like irl i think it’s very silly. and perhaps a little questionable to hate on a ‘foreign’ vehicle. but i don’t even like trucks at all so#insecure country boys and their obsession with big trucks are ruining the road for us regular people that just want a normal ass car#but i’ll stop before i go off on a rant about america’s transportation problems#anyways. i can separate reality from fiction and i love the image of Sam in a beat up beloved old truck. cliché as it may be#getting back on track. my POINT was that the song doesn’t even necessarily fit Sam’s vibes i just. can’t undo the association#been trying to think of a way for it to fit him but that would require Darlin’ to be cheating on him and i don’t like that thought#like i love some types of angst but cheating isn’t one of them#i could view it through the context of being directed at Alexis bc i already hate her lmao but once again it doesn’t fit in canon#and i don’t know how i feel about the thought that he used to call her Darlin’ too. though it’s very possible. mmm angst#not that it has to fit with canon for me to attach a song to a character. certainly not! but i need to make it work in my mind Somehow#and i can’t even come up with a good HC to make this fit. the idea of Jealous!Sam is fun in theory but idk if i’d like it practice anyways#tldr: does this really fit canon Sam? meh. Is it forever tied to him in my mind anyways due to the use of the petname Darlin’? absolutely.#anywho. one of these days i’ll open this app to do something other than vent post or yap abt rp audio blorbos. but that day is not today!
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when i don’t see ran in outfits like these when she’s out of that sweater i feel like popping a blood vessel. She would not wear frilly skirts and stuff that’s cropped she wants to look expensive!!!!
#ran haitani#i hc ran as transfem btw pls don’t go crazy ur annoying if u do#like ok i’m nottt gonna be mean ab it or whatever if u wanna put her in what u want then do jt#just knwo that ur wrong and that she’d be itching to get that outfit off of her#LIKEE CMON her fav brand is ysl she’s obviously staring at those fashion magazines like a maniac#she’s always trying to make outfits based off of it#i feel like she’d dislike crop tops in a way#not bc she’s insecure but bc she thinks they’re kinda ugly#and a lot are made cheap so she hates that#i get it i hate crop tops too sm of them sit weird nowadays i cant blame her#she’s a coat lover too! I feel like she’d adore emma from veil. She wants to dress like her so bad
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#i’m just going to ramble in the tags for a second LOL#and idk if maybe this is just a me thing but it can be kind of#discouraging??? i guess for lack of a better word to write stuff and then not have people engage with it on ao3#i’m still newer to writing and then sharing but like spending time to write something and then seeing things getting hits#but no one is commenting makes me feel like no one likes what i’m writing#which i like KNOW is not true but it still kinda feels that way???#i’m in my insecure about my writing era LOL#sigh the more i write the worst i feel like it gets :(
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tragic that if he were to go to the beach or something edwin would probably wear a whole modest chest to knee length vintage swimsuit because damn that boy is made for 5” inseam fruity little swim shorts
#I just wanna see him in 5in fruity little swim shorts i know I’m sorry#but im not wrong#he just seems like. without insecurities or lingering outdated modesty. he’d be that kinda twink#rambling#im not sure why im thinking about this#I should. get out of bed#edwin
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A soulmates universe where the Doctor and the Master aren’t soulmates, but this only makes them more twisted up in each other.
#doctor who#the doctor#the master#best enemies#thoschei#soulmates#soulmates universe#theres a lot of jealousy and insecurity and all that#it’s like they’ve got a bungee cord between them that’s attached with barbs to their insides#anyway I’m kinda going insane over this idea#they’re not soulmates but it somehow ends up being all about them anyway
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I need more fanfics where Annabeth is tall but still lets Percy take care of her💔
#why the tall Annabeth erasure#tall girls deserve it too#bc all of the ones I’ve read so far were of her being the ‘masculine’ one#which is fine but like you HAD to state that she’s tall and correlate the two of those traits#and not to be overly sensitive but I’ve been insecure about my height since forever bc I always felt less feminine then the short girls#so whenever I see fics where Annabeth is described as ‘petite and feminine to Percy’s tall masculine’ it makes me die a little inside#u less you’re just describing Leah#she is short that’s just a fact#but when you’re specifically using book Annabeth and then go out of your way to describe her ‘slim and short figure’#and then relate that to her femininity…#it’s fine it really is I’m just insecure so I’m gonna shut up now#and probably delete this post in a little while#this is just a moment of weakness#bc whenever I do find fics where Annabeth is talk—not even taller than Percy just tall— she takes on the more ‘tough’ role compared to when-#she’s described as short#and that kinda hurt a bit bc us tall girls deserve to be taken care of too#😭#just a thought#annabeth chase#pjo#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#tall annabeth chase#hoo#heroes of olympus#percabeth
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what are you working onnn 😊🥰
ahahahaha. aha.
well thank you for asking anon!! <3
so the funny thing with this story is like. i'm incapable of sticking to the Plot. it was initially supposed to be a post nfc championship angst fest for jayden and malik... which it still IS, but also snippets from the entire playoff run. since malik was basically there the entire time and i just. he. they. GOSHHH
i considered being really evil about it and basing it on 'A Pearl" by Mitski. yk. jayden reeling. emotional unavailability. hurt/no comfort. buuut i didn't have the heart to LMAO. to give you an idea tho:
Sorry, I don't want your touch It's not that I don't want you Sorry, I can't take your touch It's just that I fell in love with a war
anywayyyyy i'm not even entirely sure that malik was in detroit lol but everything else is pretty canon compliant. enjoy!
Jayden is buzzing. It’s not alcohol-induced, but it's reflective of his environment—electric and alive, a couple of his guys shoved into a corner booth at an eclectic little dive bar for old time’s sake. It’s the same steady vibration that’s been thrumming in his veins for the last few hours, since Jayden stood holding his breath on the sideline, looking on as the ball doinked in for a 37-yard game winner. The very first playoff win of his career. The place glows neon, multicolored lights strung along the walls and glinting off their sparkly silver chains like auroras. Jayden is slouched into the striped cushions of his seat, one arm slung lazily around Malik’s shoulders. He and Brian, the more fortunate bunch who don’t have to worry about their liquor consumption at the moment, toss back shots like they’re liquid gold in a glass. “Just one,” Brian says. “No,” Jayden repeats, for what feels like the millionth time tonight, “I can’t be drinkin’ during the season.” “Good thing it’s the postseason,” Brian quips. Jayden laughs, the sound short and pointed. “Yeah, for some of us.” Brian and Malik share an offended look. “Tsk, fuck you,” Malik says, pushing Jayden away in jest. Brian waves it off quickly enough. He’s back on his shit almost immediately. “One shot, Jay.” Jayden squints, but a mischievous grin tugs at the corner of his lips. He can give in. Just a little. Just for tonight. He rolls his eyes. “Alright, you’re on."
...
Jayden feels wrecked. Bruised and bloodied and racked bone-deep with exhaustion after the highs of the game have dwindled away—after his mind and body have relinquished all hope of performing a miracle and given way to the pain. And when he stands in his presser, the words barely come, rasping in his throat like something he doesn’t recognize. But it’s no secret how they ended up here, why he now has to face the cameras knowing better than anyone that they’ve just blown it big. Turnovers, penalties, miscues. Lazy execution. The team had played like this wasn’t the most important game of the year, like this wasn’t the goddamn NFC Championship, like they didn’t have a chance to do something historic, like— Like they really were the underdogs. Like maybe they never really had a chance at all.
...
“You killed ‘em, Jay,” Malik says, shaking his padded shoulders like it’s the only way to make Jayden feel the gravity of it. He sways with the motion, stumbling back a step. “Stop,” Jayden groans, his smile big and bright, too proud to really pretend otherwise. Tonight was a fever dream. They’d walked into the lion’s den, literally, and now they were leaving victorious. A decisive 45-31 win on the road against the number one seed in the conference. Against the odds. “I know... this is pretty crazy, huh?” Malik doesn’t say anything, just pulls himself up, planting a kiss right on Jayden’s mouth. “Fucking wild,” he says, then kisses him again, this time on his cheek, right under the cut that’s beginning to heal over. “I can’t believe you.” Jayden raises an eyebrow. “You were doubtin’ us?” Malik slaps his chest, brushing the grass-stained burgundy of his jersey. He scoffs. “Nah, that’s not—you know that’s not what I mean.” “No?” Jayden laughs, low and amused. “What, then?” “Jayden,” Malik says, grabbing at Jayden’s still slightly sweat-slick forearms. His eyes are glittered with awe, his expression completely soft at the edges. “This is incredible.”
the hurt/comfort part has yet to be written, otherwise i'd include some. but who knows hmmm maybe it'll get done this weekend. i have tonight... and tmrw. not exactly thrilled about the sb matchup so maybe i'll lock in on this :)
#ask#anon#sarah's writing#malik/jayden#malik nabers#jayden daniels#nfl rpf#DO NOT PERCEIVE THIS .#kinda insecure about it tbh#not really sure what i’m trying to achieve anymore but i rlly don’t want to abandon another project 😭😭😭#sooooo i’ll keep working.? ig
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Kinda messy Young Fae sketch because uhhhhhhhhhh….
OC: Faedril “Fae” Silvarin (he/him)
#he kinda looks like Kim Coates in this one and I’m not mad about that#fae#Faedril silvarin#my characters#my art#i did young fae a while ago and i lowkey hated it so I’m happy to actually get one that feels like him#he doesn’t strike me as a man to let aging change who he is or to have had an insecure stage he grew out of or anything#he’s always been just unabashedly him so this feels more right than the very stiff version i initially tried
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sometimes i forget that people on here don’t know i’m visually impaired/legally blind, or that that’s even a thing with people with albinism (i’m actually like…blind. not in the “oh haha i’m like a bat, i can’t see the board!”, it’s the “i’m never going to be able to get a drivers license unless it’s extremely, extremely limited to daytime and two lane highways only, needs an iep, can’t read less than size 24 font without squinting, reads braille because my eyes get tired, can’t see snow/rainfall, can’t see 3d, can barely see my keyboard” kind of way) so when i try to make a blind joke it doesn’t hit as hard as it does if you know me irl. sigh.
#misc#maybe it’s my sign to stop making an ass out of myself#whatever i don’t believe in signs#i do know braille tho#like it’s not the quirky “lol so blind” thing#i genuinely cannot see#idk how to explain my vision either since i don’t have normal people vision#so it’s hard to compare to smth you’re not accustomed to#i dunno this is a ramble#ok the driving thing is complicated#technically…i can kinda sorta drive#if i wear my contracts AND glasses AND and extra set of glasses with a bionic in it#and i’d have to go through tests to see if even that works—and even then i have to go in front of a driving judge to see if they approve it#and if it got approved then i’d still have to go to “special” drivers ed#and at the end of all of that my license would be limited to daytime and no more than two lane highways#BUT i can’t even try that because if all went according to plan i’d lose my services and iep#so i’d have to wait til after college#which given all of that…it’s not worth it#sure i feel like an idiot riding the bus in my junior year and needing to be picked up from clubs (and i’ll feel worse my senior year)#but i guess its better than getting my services repealed#this turned into a rant#…oops#i’m really insecure abt not being able to drive mb lol#i mean get at least i’ll never have to be designated driver—and the school can’t take my nonexistent license for “low grades”#ignore the tags this is a ramble abt my personal insecurities-—i’ve never ranted abt the visual side effects of albinism 😭#alaska’s irl bullshit
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Ok so I genuinely want to know, and because my fic writing life is ending soon I am feeling like now is a good time to just word vomit whatever I have always wanted to ask. Is there a reason I don’t get asks anymore? Like do I give off a bad vibe and yall just don’t want to talk to me? I’m asking the void obviously because I won’t get any asks for this I’m sure but it’s bothered me for a while. I used to get them all the time and no one ever sends any these days so I was just curious if I’m doing something to annoy people. And also my bpd and depression are crazzzy rn so I’m convinced everyone hates me. Probably will delete this tbh. 😂😂
#asks#feeling v insecure lately#convinced I’m a social pariah on here#I know I can be a lot#but I always try to be nice#so confused#kinda sad#gonna delete later
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