#I’m just. so genuinely sad and disappointed about it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Why Kairi is the way she is
The title of “Re:Mind” is SUPER MEANINGFUL
|| My personal thoughts ||
STICK AROUND TILL THE END OKAY? So Kairi day happened recently, and I see a lot of people talking about her… either in defense of her or against her. It’s gotten to the point where I start getting angry when I see Kairi in KH3, and I’m starting to wonder if feeling angry is supposed to be the point. Maybe we’re supposed to get frustrated with the way she is right now.
I’ve been trying to put myself in Kairi’s shoes. You see how she’s so spunky in kh1 and 2, right? And suddenly in kh3 she’s kind of withdrawn and desperate. Just look at her face at the end of 2 and you’ll see when I think the personality switch occurred:
This is the moment when she realizes Sora is leaving her AGAIN.
Kairi’s character in 1 felt very infused with independence and “Sora needs me 😤” energy. Then, in 2 she’s like: “I remember Sora now, and heck— he needs me more than ever! 😤 He can’t do anything without me!”
Then she proceeded to be reckless trying to reach him— and I genuinely believe that she ACTUALLY believes Sora needs her to succeed. She escapes prison, and gets shut out of the final battle and left behind. We as the players are SUPPOSED to get frustrated, because SHE’S undoubtedly angry, too!
When her letter brings Sora back, she realizes that he survived and he’s actually grown a lot!
But I personally feel like when Sora gets Mickey’s letter, she starts to feel less and less important. Especially with this line from the letter: “Sora, you are who you are because of those people, but they’re hurting. And you’re the only one who can end their sadness. They need you.”
Like, Kairi’s got to be looking at Sora thinking; “Wow. He’s grown so much, saving lives, saving everyone— and what have I been doing? School. I thought Sora needed me— but look at all of his accomplishments… look at all the things he’s done without me. And when I’m around, I just distract him. I don’t help him.” 💔💔
So in kh3, she’s depressed, she’s sad, maybe she even feels a little worthless. Kh1 Kairi would’ve sent those letters to Sora during Merlin’s training, but it’s my belief that kh3 Kairi doesn’t think Sora needs her anymore. She’s lost her drive.
I heard that in the novels, Kairi cuts her hair short because “Sora likes it that way”! But what if she cut her hair because she’s trying to embrace the younger, more confident version of herself who felt needed by Sora? Maybe that’s what she meant by “he likes it that way”.
I’m pretty confident that Sora becomes AWARE of Kairi feeling useless in the paopu fruit scene! He looks disappointed when Kairi gives him the paopu fruit not because he doesn’t reciprocate her feelings, but because he sees through the gesture! This is her cry for help, and he doesn’t know how to help her. To me, this is the face of a guy who’s just realized: “I thought she already knew I want her to be apart of my life forever. What’s going on here? What happened to the Kairi who already knows I need her and we’ll be a part of each other’s lives forever?”
His awkward reaction is literally him wondering where the Kairi he knows ran off to? This is the “crap, I must’ve screwed up” face.
Then there’s the scene where Kairi is kidnapped by Xemnas and she barely even fights or tries to get away from him. This is a Kairi who’s lost her drive and her knowledge of being NEEDED, it makes perfect sense to me why she didn’t fight. What if she’s reached the point where she wonders if Sora even cares enough to save her? Of course, it’s not canon, but this moment is kind of like a representation of not feeling like she’s worth very much, and therefore won’t be missed!
To me, this just looks like an extremely depressed girl who’s been reading too many comment sections.
Then of course, Re:Mind happens and obviously, Sora demonstrates that YES, Kairi, you are important to him! Maybe a little too important. Its my belief that the paopu scene was a huge wake up call to him. When she dies, and everyone’s like; “okay, time to go back”, this really explains why Sora says so adamantly “No. My whole journey began the day I lost her, and now that I’ve found her she’s slipped away again”.
That’s him realizing that he forgot the sole reason he was going on all of these adventures. He did them for her, and got so lost in the noise of all his quests that he neglected her and didn’t realize until she called out for help with the paopu fruit. Re:Mind is literally his quest to saving her self-esteem and RE:MINDING her how much she means to him!!!!! THATS WHY ITS CALLED RE:MIND.
And you see how desperate he is to get her back? How he’s hugging her, holding her hand, taking her places during the ending? He’s trying to let her know that he still needs her!
We’re supposed to get mad about how she’s being treated, BECAUSE ITS NOT RIGHT AND BOTH KAIRI AND SORA KNOW IT!
Sora finally understands that he needs to remind her that he cares about her!!!!
If Sora is like any guy I know, he isn’t clueless, he just assumed Kairi already knew.
#kingdom hearts#kh#Kairi#character analysis#Kairi day#text post#re:mind#kh3#dlc#sokai I suppose#character development#gaming#OK IM GETTING OFF MY SOAP BOX NOW#SORA ISNT CLUELESS ABOUT HIS FEELINGS#HE JUST ASSUMED SHE ALREADY KNEW
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I try to make each chapter longer than the last but...sadly I failed with this one. It's a relatively short one but I hope you guys like it ^^
Taglist: @exactlyelegantwizard , @xenoanamorph , @hoeia-strigoi , @arwenkenobi48 , @xanth420 , @serpent ,@landlockedmermaid77, @uncensored-aj
If you'd like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!
Exile: A Nosferatu Fanfic
Chapter 4
You were my town, now I'm in exile seeing you out…
For the first time ever in either of his lifetimes, Count Orlok was out in the snow, rolling a middle snowball to make the body of the snowman. He looked, and honestly felt just as, ridiculous. The wolfhounds helped when they could, but spent the time either watching the pair or chasing each other around the courtyard. Ellen looked over at him and chuckled.
“Not a word, Ellen…” he growled a little.
She couldn’t stifle a laugh. “Oh for goodness sake, you act like I’m doing something tortuous to you…It’s supposed to be fun and you look so…annoyed”.
“This is ridiculous…” the count rolled his eyes, “Is this big enough?”
Ellen came over and examined the ball he was rolling. “I think so. We could probably mold-Oh goodness you can’t be serious”.
He had already used magic to mold the middle ball on to the first, fitting it quite easily. Orlok raised a brow at her disapproval. “What? I literally just-”.
“Magic isn’t the solution to everything” Ellen argued.
Orlok scoffed. “It is in my world…”.
“Yes, and look how well that worked out for you”.
The count narrowed his eyes at her at that. “Watch yourself, micul suflet”.
Ellen shook her head. “You just wanted an easy way out of this, didn’t you?”
“Maybe. Your words not mine”.
“Are you really that miserable doing this? It’s just a snowman” she looked at him, feeling a bit disappointed.
“Why is this so upsetting to you?” he cocked his head, genuinely confused as to why she wasn’t happy with him using magic.
“It just…defeats the purpose I guess. I just wanted to…spend an afternoon making a snowman or two” Ellen sighed.
Her explanation did little to ease the count’s confusion. She had never been against him using magic for simple little things before. This seemed like such a trivial thing to be upset over. He rolled his eyes and scoffed.
“You’re being ridiculous, little one. You’ve taken issue with me using it before”.
“That was for…other reasons” she shuddered as a few memories came to mind…
“Less ridiculous than snow people”.
Ellen sighed. “I just wanted one, ONE peaceful afternoon…Everything just has to be a fight with you and I don’t understand why. And it’s not just now. You’ve always been so…confrontational. About everything. Even if you didn’t have a right to be-”.
A growl cut her off. His of course. “You forget, little one. You have always been mine. Always! That was our agreement! I had every right to be furious knowing you went off and married that useless, childish-”.
“Because you abandoned me! You left me first! You stopped coming when I’d call for you!” Ellen’s voice was more emotional than she intended it to be.
She never wanted to admit it, even to herself, that she had missed him. That something in her felt genuinely broken when he stopped coming to her. Ellen despised that she felt that way, that it was the Demon that made her feel that way. She felt her eyes water, from both anger and sadness. How could he still be so cruel, after what they went through together? After what she did for him? After all they were to each other…
Orlok didn’t respond, just glared down at her. His dark eyes were alight with an all too familiar fury. He didn’t know why he felt so angry once more. It was always anger that got the better of him. Like his shadow haunted those he preyed upon, his rage haunted him. It always had…
“I had my reasons…” he turned away from her.
“And what reasons were those? What did I do that was so wrong-”.
“IT WASN’T YOU!” Orlok roared and shot his long clawed hand out, melting the half done snowman.
Ellen sobbed and looked down. Just one peaceful afternoon was all she wanted. Nothing else. He didn’t need to join her. He could’ve just left her and Furie alone.
“Must you destroy everything you touch?” Ellen sniffed.
He didn’t answer right away. “It is my nature to do so. In the end…I even destroyed you”.
Ellen shook her head. “I chose…I chose you”.
“And perhaps you chose wrong” He shook his head and looked over at the wolfhounds, “Întristare, Durere, Furie! Vino!”
The first two obeyed their master's command but Furie, sweet loveable Furie, padded over to Ellen and stayed at her side. He growled deeply at Orlok, who raised a brow.
“Furie! Acum!” He commanded but the wolfhound growled and barked.
He would not move. He would not leave her out here alone. Ellen's eyes watered a little more as she looked at the sweet, protective hound. He was indeed very poorly named. She hugged him around his neck tightly.
“Thank you, sweet one. Thank you-” she started.
“Treacherous dog!” Orlok snarled but Ellen glared.
“Leave him alone! It's me you're angry with, not him! Do as you must but I will not let you harm these dogs!”
The count turned away and stormed back inside in a fury. He knew he let his anger again get the better of him. There wasn't an excuse for it but pride would not allow him to admit he was the one in the wrong.
Ellen hugged Furie around his soft, warm, fluffy neck, crying softly. What in the world did she ever do to deserve this? Any of this? In the beginning all she had wanted was a friend, a companion. But now she was in, what she thought anyway, was a literal frozen hell with a monster she abhorred and who, seemingly, abhorred her. They were stuck together, all because of a covenant that shouldn’t have meant anything anymore. Ellen pulled away from Furie to pet his head.
“Good boy…you’re such a good boy. Thank you” she told him, managing a soft smile despite what just happened.
Furie wagged his tail, whined and licked her hand softly. Ellen sniffed and looked over at the spot where the destroyed snowman was.
“We may have to make another at some point…It’ll be okay. Let’s just…stay out here a little while. I don’t want to go back in while he’s angry like that. It scares me and I don’t want you getting hurt either” Ellen stood, brushing the snow off her dress, “Perhaps you can show me around. There’s still so much to see here”.
Furie barked and wagged his tail once more, eager to show her around. There was still much she needed to see, to know. This was her home too. It was always meant to be her home…
Orlok lost count of how many times he burned that damn bouquet at this point, but it was far from enough to satiate his fury. Why was it always anger? Why was it always this deep maw of anger that consumed what was left of his heart, what little was left? His clawed hands trembled when he looked at them, anger slowly giving away to a sad numbness. He had no more tears to shed, no more hurt to feel.
So why did his anger persist? Of all things, of all emotions…
Death was supposed to be peaceful. It was supposed to be eternal rest. But why was it only giving him more anger, more sadness, more…grief than anything else? This wasn’t at all what he had hoped for. He didn’t want to be this anymore. He didn’t need blood anymore. The sun no longer harmed him. But yet a loathsome beast he still remained…
Durere came back to the master’s chamber holding something in his jaws, softly so as not to damage it. It was a little soft stuffed bear, handmade a very, very long time ago. Age had seen its fur taken off, leaving behind just a dusty skin. But even so, the wolfhound knew it meant something to his master. He whined, placing the small thing at his master’s feet.
The count peered down at the small, seemingly insignificant thing. A little toy, nothing more. And yet…
He picked it up in his clawed hand and looked at it for a moment, his mind daring to go back to a once happier time. He could hear her voice again, instructing him on how to make it. Orlok remembered having needle pricks for weeks after making so many…And he had done it without magic at her insistence.
But it was the reason they had made such small things that made that small piece of his heart ache in a way that was all too familiar. Orlok clenched his fist around the tiny bear and pressed it to his chest, sorrow threatening to drown him like the very waters of Chaos he sought to avoid...
No.
No!
He was not entitled to mourn, entitled to grief. He didn’t deserve to. Didn’t deserve to heal. Didn’t deserve to move on. He hadn’t earned the right to let go…and from the looks of things he never would…
Still though, he couldn’t hold back the slightest little sob, though no tears fell from his moonlit eyes. He was a monster and monsters didn’t cry.
Monsters did not love.
If you guys enjoyed please consider reblogging, liking, commenting, and following! You guys are awesome and you mean the world to me! Love yall and I'll see you in the next chapter! ^-^
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
the fact that I’ve already fucking missed out (or will have to miss out in the future) on like all of the major pride events in my area is so homophobic I’m actually gonna cry
#warning for rlly whiny vent in the tags lmao:#I WAS SO CONFIDENT THIS YEAR 😭😭 I WAS SO READY TO GO#BUT NOOO EVERYTHING COOL EITHER ALREADY HAPPENED OR IS ONLY HAPPENING ON THE TWO DAYS I CANT GO#OR ITS 21+ UP ☹️☹️☹️#I’m just. so genuinely sad and disappointed about it#like I don’t think I’ll completely miss it this year bc I’m determined to find SOMETHING to go to#but I just miss it every fucking year because of my stupid adhd brain and I fucking hate it#I’ve missed it for like seven years in a row and every year I INTENDED to go but just. didn’t#I really. really fucking hate my brain sometimes.#I just want to kiss gay people 😭😭 I want to kiss them so bad. I want to hug gay people and admire gay people and see queer elders and bearss#I want to actually access my fucking community#but because my dumb ass can never schedule ANYTHING in time. I always miss out#sorry for being so venty im just. ugh. it hurts.#I want this to be MY summer!!! I want to flirt and date and go to pride and do fun things before I have to go to college!!#but I feel like I’m already fumbling all of it#ughhgghhhhhhh
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i get so frustrated bc like… the point of Smile 2 (bc i do understand this criticism of the first one) it’s not to just say like…. ‘oh and everyone who’s mentally ill is bad and evil and gross and hurts themselves and ppl around them and its hopeless the end’ like NOO you missed the point.
When you’re depressed or hallucinating or going through something insanely stressful, it can make you lash out, or make you impulsive and sad and scared, or push away the ppl who surround you. And it can make you feel like the world is laughing at you.
And it’s not Skye’s fault, it’s not happening to her because she’s a terrible person! And the movie isn’t trying to say that it is happening to her because she is a terrible person. But the ‘monster’ that lives in her head tries to tell her that, and tries to get her to believe it.
And the sad thing is that to a point, she does everything right! She reaches out, and she asks for help, and she tries to talk to someone about what’s happening. But there’s no one in her corner, and no support system she can rely on, and no one responds until it’s too late. And it’s sad. And it’s scary. And it’s a tragedy.
And that’s the point, I think. Does that make sense?
#idk this was what i thought#like the first movie did make me feel like ‘ok what was the point’ and left me disappointed#but i thought the sequel had a better take#and maybe i’m just stating the obvious but i’ve seen so many ppl complaining abt this and i’m just thinking#did we watch the same movie?#it’s not trying to demonize the mentally ill (despite the monster being. you know. a demon)#it’s just a sad story about what can happen to us when no one around us BELIEVES us#when we tell them we need help#and also what happens when maybe we push ourselves too far (a la skye refusing to take a break when she needs one)#but even that isn’t really on her bc when she finally BEGS for a break they refuse her one#and then it kills her.#smile 2#smile 2 spoilers#if i’m totally missing the mark tho lmk i genuinely do want to talk abt it
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
AAAH I have a mutual who’s 18 and he sorta kinda is flirting with this one guy who is a minor as a joke of course ( to which a concerned anon said that it’s weird ) but I can’t help but flashback to er*s
#granted the er*s situation was thoroughly complex and the reason she did those things was her copism with not being able to pull ( LLLLLLL )#and ik that guy doesn’t mean any harm etc etc he’s not messed up like some ppl#BUT I DUNNO STILL#sobbing#they’re pretty sweet so#hes*#OH AND HES IRAQI TOO I LEGIT COULDNT BELIEVE THAT#dora daily#lowkey kinda sorta sad that a whole anon was more concerned than ppl i knew and who knew my age#and freely saw it happen so readily#and everyone else on that blog#genuinely and utterly disappointed#it’s always protect minors until the minors need protecting goddamn#this is especially directed at rhy yeah I’m not censoring that#🤷♀️#too busy simping over minor characters who don’t have a time skip in canon and aging them up then complaining about it when ppl call out#the brain deadery of that behaviour#girl pls#you did not care about minors from the beginning literally bye#e[redacted] literally ruined my brain chemistry to say the least I will never go into how what she did absolutely muddled my brain never#told anyone and I don’t think I can ever tell someone ever#not to mention practically hyperventilating being unable to breath literally going into madness and ppl think that I’m overreacting and#telling me to shut up about it and blaming me for the situation as if I wanted any of this#lmaolmaolmao#all that and I was expected to do uni girl byeeee I need a good century to recover at least ☠️#the only thing I DID want is friends but clearly that was a hard ask when ppl can get friends just by existing on this god forsaken app#atp I don’t even know what to say literally just wth#yall say mdni with your dumbass banners and decorate it like something special when yall are the ones to keep from minors you disgusting#wastes of clean oxygen 😭 mdni my foot gross ass adults should’ve never trusted them#the way I’d give them therapy to their complex traumas ☠️ imagine relying on a minor for therapy
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
major ofmd s2 spoilers but it’s kind of beautiful in a way to see the youngins call That character dying a “typical” bury your gays trope, in a show that is specifically about queer love filled with queer characters who have happy endings, where both casual and passionate gay affection is shown again and again, and always portrayed as something beautiful and tender and good to be embraced
#ofmd s2#ofmd spoilers#‘typical’ bury your gays.......... 😭#y’all rly have no idea what it’s like to NEVER see yourself portrayed unless it ends in a violent tragic death huh#specifically targeted BECAUSE the character is queer#and i say this genuinely with love like that’s why it’s also pretty nice. i’m glad such a point has been reached#but also omg. experiencing sadness and disappointment over a writing decision for your fav doesn’t make it a hate crime#personally i thought it happening was rly uninspired and predictable so kind of feel nothing over it because it’s so blah#feel like they just straight up didn’t know what to do with him#also s3 hasn’t been confirmed has it?? bc this season def felt like they shoved what was supposed to be a 20eps arc into 8eps#and there won’t be more. idk#but IF there is i need him to come back as the ship’s ghost fucking with everyone lmao#anyway i'm not even that old and when i was 12 i watched brokeback mountain and when i was 13 it was boys don't cry#and that was basically ALL i'd seen for big queer rep in media. like literally only thing ever#and the fear it instilled truly was part of me rejecting my own queerness for so long#who would look at izzy hands & go welp better stay cishet for the rest of my life or the devil will come for me; thats def the lesson here#if anything the end scene was about how happy he could’ve been if he’d realized earlier he had a whole queer fam who loved & accepted him#just as he is#END ESSAY
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
your blog is feeding my togachako hyperfixtation rn
AS I SHOULD BE IM AN INSATIABLE MONSTER OF TOGACHAKO, CHAOS, AND YOUR MOMS PU33Y
Join me in my crusade of feral frothing at mouths and staying up all night thinking about them
#I’m so sorry I’m so tired rn I will regret this come morning#but on a more serious/sappy note all of the people being excited with me has just made me so unbelievably happy#like yes I get on tumblr every day thinking about what new togachako content has been posted now or how things can be interpreted in this-#chapter or this scene but all of the excited has made me fucking THRIVE#I LOVE when people are as excited and frothing at the mouth as me#it genuinely makes my day#togachako#I just want people to have the opportunity to think that they’re queer representation is POSSIBLE#I would rather get disappointed that it didn’t happen than be sad that it won’t happen and EVEN SADDER when it did#why shut your world down like that yk? what’s the point to not being positive?#that’s my philosophy#it’s partly fueled by spite but being hopeful has always made me just that sliver more happy in my day to day life
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..
I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.
I was texting my sister today about it and she said
“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”
I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences
#I relate to all of this so much#and it’s so sad how many people truly have religious trauma#I still find myself lucky and privileged cause I know there are stories MUCH worse than mine#it’s really hard cause my parents still think I’m a Christian#honestly at this point I have no clue what i am#even if I end up still being a Christian that doesn’t help or heal all of the years of church trauma#but the hard part is still acting the part for my parents#growing up I always tried to fit into the good Christian girl mold#cause I know that’s what my parents wanted and I didn’t want to disappoint them#but once I started smoking weed and they found out? it went all downhill from there#their perfect angel fell from heaven#and I feel like ever since I haven’t been really their daughter…. I’ve just been living on the outside looking in to everything#it hurts looking back at all the years I spent brainwashed into believing that was the ONLY faith#it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that I went to a pro life rally#the thing I was talking to my sister about was how mental health was never talked about in the church#when I started dealing with it and went to my parents or the pastors or any adult really and told them what I was dealing with#wanna know what the first thing they would ALWAYS say? well have you prayed about it? the way they treated mental illness was that it was#YOUR fault cause God is punishing you for something…. that you need to pray or go to church so then God will eventually take it away#and the thing is I don’t necessarily blame my parents (which kinda sucks cause I want to blame someone)#but honestly it’s just the environment they grew up in too… like I’m 99% sure my dad has dealt with depression his entire life#but won’t get diagnosed or anything cause they always believe faith has something to do with it#which makes me incredibly sad cause I just think about how much my dad has suffered and how he didn’t need to#^^ I was typing this out when I was late to my family gathering hahaha but then I think my sister called or something so I had to stop#sorry this post is all over the place - I swear I could write a book about religious trauma#yesterday went ok surprisingly but today? TODAY is going to be so much worse#sure I’ll make a post about it later but I guessssss I should go to bed now? it’s 2am and I have to get up at 5:45 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#and I have a fuuuuull day of fun Christian festivities while I’m dealing with all of this bottled up and unresolved crap from my past#please don’t get me wrong I love my parents and like I said I don’t blame them - they did their best#it just really sucks wondering what my life would have been like if I didn’t grow up in the church or in a super religious family#I wonder if when I told my parents I was depressed if they would have instantly brought me in to get help
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
This is probably my least favorite thing and most annoying shit on the fucking planet
#Idk vent meme?#I just hate being ignored#Like the art I spend the longest on never gets any attention but when I post something stupid y’all act like it’s so great#Idk I’m just really sad about it#It’s so disappointing because i genuinely work hard on some stuff and y’all don’t care :(#I just want a reason to make actual art guys#Yall aren’t giving me one tbh
1 note
·
View note
Text
i woke up too late to study (again) and it’s raining and i’m too depressed to go to uni so i have to cancel on all my friends today (again)
#i keep waking up really late on days where i don’t have class and i don’t know why#i suppose it’s because i’m debilitatingly depressed and the idea of being awake genuinely makes me want to vomit#i’m used to getting up at 7am for work and i never struggled with it but right now i just can’t do anything#and then i get more depressed and stressed and angry at myself because i’m not getting work done#i’m behind on all my deadlines and i’m trying so hard but nothing is happening because i’m too sad to function#i get this soul eating guilt and self hatred when i cancel on my friends#because i’m just the person who never follows through i always cancel and disappoint people and no one is surprised anymore#and i know i’ll be able to go to class tomorrow but i’m going to have to cancel on my friends for after that class too#because i’m too depressed to be around anyone i just want to be on my own and feel worse#i wish i could talk to someone about how bad i feel all the time but i’ve got a lifetime’s worth of feelings pent up and it’s too much#idk what to do with myself
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fuck EVERYONE who ever taught me to hate myself. I was never like this before and I never deserved to feel this way about myself. The hardest part of this is the fact that I know it’s just been instilled in me! I could have been different. Fuck, I was different! I was happy to just exist as myself. I didn’t care what other people thought. Now I’m just like you. Fuck you for taking that away from me
#Yeah sorry folks I do hate myself for being queer sometimes I wouldn’t have it any other way but i also wish I didn’t have to sacrifice#Fucking everything I’ve ever loved#Either sacrifice myself (the only person it seems has ever really loved me)#Or sacrifice everyone I live for. What a fucking choice. A choice I knew I had to make from the age of 11 because of the way ive been treat#I’ve had a good life and I will continue to. I’m fucking privileged and I notice that. But I wish I didn’t have to live like this sometimes#I’ve never been a girl. I’ve always liked them. Why are those things that make me weak. Why do they make me wrong. What is all of this even#Fucking for. How much do I have to suffer before anyone even cares whether I live or just pretend to.#I used to fantasise about trying to kill my self. Not actually dying but waking up in the hospital. My mum saying that it’s okay. That she#can accept me being a boy and that she’s just glad I’m alive. Why the fuck should anyone ever feel like that. It’s so fucked.#Instead I’m just told that my mental health is a burden. That everyone walks on eggshells around me. That everyone hopes Ive grown out of i#That everyone loves my deadname. That everyone would be disappointed if I wore a suit. That people would talk. I can’t FUCKING TAKE IT.#I’ll be okay though. Don’t worry about me. I’ll repress it a bit more. It’ll go a bit further down. I’ll practise my little self care ritua#And eat good and try and tell myself that maybe it’s not all bad.#And I’ll tell myself that I’m being dramatic when I cry myself to sleep#Genuinely tho don’t worry about me this will probably all be forgotten by the morning it’s just sad boy hours
1 note
·
View note
Text
desperate male lead syndrome is making a strong comeback in 2024 and i’m here for it!! so i wrote about this annoying loser (your honour i love him so much)
husband atsumu drabble because this is what the people want ^^ (i’m people)
“baby, don’t go looking at yer’ poor husband like that..” atsumu pouts, poking your cheeks at the sight of your evidently disdained face.
okay. you could go do that. you could also just forget the broken ceramic on the floor, still not cleaned up because atsumu would rather make amends with you first than cleaning up the potential risk that was right infront of you both.
honestly, you couldn’t tell whether you should be glad, or concerned.
“i’m not mad at you,’ you say, the expression on your face clearly betraying your words. “don’t worry about it, atsumu.”
you thought that maybe your words would ease the blonde man’s resolve, however it seemed to have only made it worse for him.
“atsumu?! no baby, no love, no ‘tsumu?!” he stresses, hands going up to his mouth.
you stare at his rather dramatic delivery,—and was that the life in his eyes flying away?? he looks like a modern rendition of casper the ghost.
“i’ll do the dishes for a week, no,—a month! i’ll buy ya’ those heels ya’ told me not to buy at the mall!!” atsumu frantically spouts, saying anything he could think of as he continues to cling onto your figure, his face mushing onto your neck and shoulder area.
you shut your eyes. just.. how could you stay annoyed? look at his pouty face, how his ears seemed to be more red than the rest of his skins current complexion. he practically made it impossible for you to even be the least bit mad, and you would’ve felt as guilty as a convict for even attempting to do so. that’s the kind of effect he had on you.
in response, you merely sigh. but there wasn’t any bark to it. “or, you could clean up the shattered pot on the floor.” you say, making sure to bring your tone to a more gentle and reassuring one.
atsumu turns to at you once again, his blonde locks tickling your skin as he moves.
“yer’ not mad anymore?” he beams. “i mean, we could always make another pot, right? how ‘bout it?” he says, hopeful eyes staring directly to your orbs.
in all realness, you genuinely weren’t mad at him, —(as much as he would sulk and say you definitely were), no. you were just sad at the fact that you and atsumu’s ceramic that you both had worked so hard to sculpt and paint on your first date was now shattered on the floor, all but beyond repair.
“i was never mad at you, promise.” you say. “just a bit disappointed. i liked that pot a lot, you know.” your hand reaches for atsumu’s cheek, pinching it slightly. physical touch always seemed to reassure him more than anything else.
atsumu mentally notes that he should make you breakfast in bed the following morning as he stares at your affirming expression. he plants various of pecks on your face after doing so.
“i’m sorry, princess.” atsumu coo’s, his hand pushing away the little hairs on your forehead as he plants a kiss on it.
“i’ll make it up to ya’, i promise.”
— • —
now, you know that you most definitely shouldn’t be all too surprised, considering that, well, —this was miya atsumu we were talking about,
but seriously….
you stare at the little bundle of fur politely sitting on your lap as you rub your eyes, just having come out of your nights sleep. you also happen to notice the smell of pancakes and hot chocolate coming from the bedside table.
“ ‘tsumu, where—?..no, when did you get this dog?”
“i have my ways.” he proudly grins. “but look, it’s yer’ favourite breed!”
“….yes, i know. but where did you—“
“we have a daughter now, hehe.”
“since when did i agre—“
“so adorable, definitely takes after her mommy and daddy. look at the bow on her head!”
“ ‘tsum-“
“i love you.”
“dont change the subject!”
——————————————————————————
atsumu brainrot is real and clocking me out (kageyama i can explain)
update: TYSM for 1k+ notes omg ??!! thank u all for loving this loserboy with me i feel so heard 😢😢🙏🏽
#miya atsumu#atsumu x reader#atsumu x reader fluff#atsumu x you#atsumu x y/n#haikyuu atsumu#haikyuu x reader fluff#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#miya atsumu x reader#miya atsumu fluff#atsumu imagines#haikyuu imagine#haikyu x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu fanfiction#hq atsumu#anime x reader#haikyuu anime#anime#miya atsumu x you#miya atsumu x y/n#miya twins#atsumu fluff#atsumu x female reader#atsumu imagine#atsumu imagine fluff#miya atsumu x reader fluff#haikyuu x y/n
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
✧. ┊ 5 TIMES YOU SAT ON NANAMI’S LAP
── .✦ nanami kento x gn!reader
s4w, fluff, cuddling, teasing, petnames, hand feeding, ooc nanami, sitting on nanami’s lap
⤷ nanami’s lap is your favourite seat. luckily for you, he is fine with being your…chair.
based off this post
a/n: #needthat #wantthat #sexyman #hotguy
[_____] = your name
masterlists
*
1 - NAP TIME
The rain droplets pelleting on the living room windows is what wakes you up, along with the deep chuckle of thunder that follows shortly afterwards.
One second it was all sunny with bright skies and now, it is dim and dark, and the only light in the room emanates from the television.
You do not remember putting this show on. You don’t remember falling asleep on the couch, either.
“Oh, look who’s awake.”
You sit up and there Nanami is, sitting opposite you on the couch, in his comfortable loungewear.
“Hey, I was watching that…” You mumble tiredly. A yawn escapes you. You rub your eyes.
“You were asleep when I came back, you know.”
“Yeah but…” you trail off. “When did you even come back?”
“An hour ago. I was excited to get my ‘welcome home’ kiss but instead, here you were; fast asleep and snoring like a bear.”
“I do not snore like a bear!”
Nanami grins and rests his back on the couch. “Don’t I get my kiss now?”
“…You called me a bear.”
“No, I said you sounded-“”
“Yeah, whatever, that’s the same thing.”
“Well, not r-“”
He’s interrupted by your unexpected crawl across the couch and sitting in his lap, covering the both of you with a blanket.
You rest your head on his shoulder.
“Do i still get my kiss-“”
“Oh shut up.”
2 - OFFICE HOURS
A knock on his door shocks Nanami out of his focus. “Come in.”
His office door opens and you appear, wearing your baggy pyjamas and dragging a blanket across the floor.
“_____…I’ve told you that you don’t need to knock. You’re the only other person who lives here.”
“Yeah, but it seems rude to just barge in so…” you waddle towards his desk where he sits, papers scattered all over his desk, “What are you doing?”
“Just some paperwork. Nothing interesting.”
“Yes, I know that part.” You respond to his last two words. “There’s a calculator…”
He lets out an amused huff. “What brings you here then?”
You shrug. “‘M bored…wanted to see what you were doing.”
“Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t think my paperwork will entertain you very much, baby.”
“Well…” You start. “I’m not exactly here for the paperwork…”
You’re now stood right beside Nanami and you peek at his empty lap.
Nanami notices. Nanami sighs.
He tucks out of his desk, just enough for his lap to be shown, and he only has to pat his thighs twice before your hopping right into it.
“Comfortable?” You shuffle in his lap, looking for the right position. It’s found, and you lean back to rest your back against his wide chest, blanket covering you legs.
“Yeah, I’m comfy.”
Nanami kisses your temple, and goes back to completing his work, which lulls you to sleep due to how absolutely boring it is.
3 - OVERTIME
Nanami heard keys fiddling with the door while he is on his laptop in the kitchen. He hears a loud, annoyed groan.
Must have been a long day for you.
Shoes are thrown onto the floor, along with your bag and your coat is flung onto the rack.
You trod to the doorway of the living room and Nanami’s sees how tired and disheveled you look.
“Hey, sweetheart.”
You only respond with a grumble.
“Hard day?”
Another grumble from you.
“Do you want to tell me all about it?”
A jumpy grumble clambers out of your mouth as you dash over to him and plop down on his inviting lap.
“Ugh, Kenny…these people…”
He rubs circles on you back, gently coaxing the complaints out of you.
“They’re so…they’re just so stupid.”
Nanami can’t help but chuckle at your bluntness and your genuine sadness at your coworkers’s stupidity.
“Seriously, they are! And don’t even get me started on that damn boss.”
So Nanami listens to you rant about your dumb coworkers while he just relishes in having you sit in his lap.
4 - GATHERINGS
On the rare occasion that you and Nanami organise a friend and family gathering, this time in the form of a barbecue, it is a success.
More people than you were both expecting showed up and your backyard was filled with music, friends, family members, chatter, kids running around and the smell of mouth-watering, flavourful meat.
The gathering lasts from noon until late evening, at which most people have left and the only ones who still lingered were close friends.
“Kento.” You walked up to where he sat on the outdoor couch, speaking to one of his work colleagues whose name you have forgotten. Something beginning with a ‘H’, you think?
“Hey, sweetheart.” He pauses his conversation to talk to you. “Are you tired?”
You were tired. You had been preparing the food, offering the food, playing with the kids, speaking to guests and now you feel the weight of all your hard work.
“I did not expect that many people to show up…”
“No, me neither. You did a great job, baby.” He huffs with a shake of his head. He then spreads his legs, more than they already are. “Do you want to rest?”
You are in in lap before he even finishes his sentence. Seriously, he does not finish his sentence.
He smiles at your urgency, admiring how cute you look curled up in his lap, your cheek squished up against his chest.
He takes a knitted blanket and throws it over your body, protecting you from the slight chill in the night air.
Nanami continues to speak to his friend, quieter now that you’re here, and caresses the back of your neck.
5 - BREAKFAST
“Kento, I’m- what’s all this?”
After spending a short time searching for Nanami, you find him outside in your colourful, shared garden. He sits on the garden chair, and on the medium-sized round table is a well prepared, delectable breakfast.
“Hm? Oh. This is breakfast.”
“Breakfast? But Kenny, I-“” You look down at your phone, checking the time, “I have to get to work-“”
“Call in late.”
You frown. “But-“”
“It’s such a nice morning, isn’t it?” He looks to the sky, taking a sip of his tea before looking at you. “Spend it with me.”
Well, he wasn’t wrong.
It was warm outside with beams of sunlight peaking through the gaps of the blooming blossom tree Nanami is stationed under. A gentle breeze curled through the air, the harmonic birdsong twinkled in your ears and the aroma of sweet-scented pastries wafted under your nose.
It did not take much to convince you.
“Okay. I’ll stay, but remind me to leave in thirty minutes.”
Nanami exhales and smiles, all soft and tender. “I’m glad. Come here, take a seat.”
Your stomach rumbles as you walk to sit in the garden chair opposite Nanami. He stops you.
“Where are you going?”
“Uhm…to sit down?”
“Oh, no, no…come sit on Kento’s lap, sweetheart. I want you to try this danish pastry,” he breaks off a piece so you can have some, “it’s my mother’s recipe.”
Ignoring your heart skipping a beat at how he referred to himself, you sit on his thigh, and he wraps an arm around your hip. He holds the piece of pastry to your mouth.
“Try a piece.”
You open your mouth and allow him to place it on you tongue, you lips briefly touching his fingertips. You laugh a little, flustered as you chew on the sweet treat. He licks his fingertip, the same one your lips touched.
“Do you like it?”
“Hmm! It’s very sweet!” You are glad you said yes to this. Work could handle you being a little late.
“Good.” Nanami shuffles forward in his chair, bringing you closer to the table of food. He kisses your shoulder and runs his hands up and down your waist. “Come on, eat up. You have a long day ahead of you.”
Nanami did not remind you to leave in those thirty minutes.
*
૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა
#i like making them refer to themselves in third person#it makes me crazy 😵💫#nanami x reader#nanami x you#nanami fluff#nanami x y/n#nanami x gn!reader#nanami x gender neutral reader#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami kento x y/n#nanami kento x gender neutral reader#nanami kento fluff#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#kento nanami x y/n#kento nanami fluff
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Smalltown!Neglected!Meta!Reader x Yandere!Batfam ☁️ Part Four
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Part One ☁️ Part Two ☁️ Part Three ☁️ Part Five ☁️ Part Six ☁️ Part Seven ☁️ Part Eight
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Warning: Obessive behavior, Yandere tendencies, su*c*de/death.
A/N: Finally adding warning labels. We’re getting somewhere. I’ve had some of this written out, but had to add some stuff in to drive it home. Reader’s coping skills are failing, but everyone’s starting to get obsessive. Also, I’ve been fighting myself on drawing art for this. (I’m a bit out of practice.)
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Reader has basically called befriending Damian and Jason a lost cause.
Bruce still avoids reader. And, everyone else is still busy with what Reader assumes is Batwork. (Which is fine, Reader is fine. It’s not like they’re stuck in the manor pacing the halls every damn day.)
Cass and Duke’s get back from their respective missions. They weren’t gone too long, but they’re come back a bit roughed up. They debrief with Bruce and then have to go back to being civilians.
Reader is waiting to comfort them. Not to confront them. Reader’s more concerned with how Duke has a mild limp and how Cass’s knuckles have some bruising than them ditching. Plus, reader is still not completely sure that her family is Gotham’s vigilantes. They need to confirm.
But, Duke and Cass both appreciate Reader checking on them and not asking questions. Cass suspects Reader suspects something, judging by Reader’s body language. But, it’s nice for someone who’s naturally soft to be soft with you.
Duke appreciates how Reader treats him so, normally. In a way it reminds him of his childhood, when things were easier. He has a normal friend now, completely mostly free of Gotham’s crazy.
Reader is happy their back, but disappointed that they won’t be going to the school gala. In fact, a few family members make comments about how it sounds like a waste of time.
Bruce, however, is actually happy Reader is excited. And, Reader gets even more excited when one of their new friends ask to be their date. Reader’s date is so genuinely excited about going to this Gala with Reader. (Uh-oh, that’s not good.)
Some of Reader’s other friends, the more haughty and wealthy ones, tell Reader that they should’ve picked someone more… refined. Which Reader defends that their Date is perfectly sweet and good looking to boot.
But, this leads Reader to decide not to tell anyone in the family about their date. They don’t want to hear the same thing from their Gotham family. Reader does inform BFF, younger brother, and Nana of their date. For some reason, BFF was a bit disgruntled, and even Nana tried to convince them it was probably best not to go. Younger Brother was encouraging reader to have fun. (But he was whispering into the phone, and asking Reader if he could come visit them soon. Please. People are acting weird here. Is everything okay, do you need me to come home. No. No. Don’t— It’s fine. I just wanna come visit you.)
But, reader was committed to going and enjoying their date and wearing their custom made outfit.
That night, Reader was given Bruce’s permission to get ready at one of their friends’ houses. Reader was practically spoiled by their friends, it was almost a bit overwhelming. Their date meet them at the Gala escorting them inside and having a wonderful time. (I hope it last. It’s not going to though. How sad.)
At the end of the night, their Date escorted them home. To end a near perfect night Reader got a kiss. A long and pretty heated kiss. Right in front of the Entrance camera.
Tim had pulled up the camera feed when Reader got home, at Bruce’s request, just to check on Reader. (He was going to do it anyway.) The entire family was winding down from Patrol in the Batcave when the feed came on. Leaving them all to get a front row seat to Reader’s little act of rebellion.
(That’s all this was, right. Just a little act of rebellion. This won’t happen again, obviously. They won’t fucking let it.)
Bruce is livid. It doesn’t help that Jason wolf-whistles to further enrage him. (Jason is making plans to break someone’s leg though. Possibly the Dates. How fucking dare they corrupt you, that’s his job.)
Stephane is honestly impressed, didn’t think Reader had it in them. (How cute! I wonder what we could get up to together.)
Duke, sweet Duke, didn’t want to see that. His (best) friend getting tongued down on camera. He’s going to need bleach and therapy. (Why would you do that? When you can just game with him. You’re his bro. Gross.)
Cassandra is… understanding. Reader has needs. Reader wants affection. That’s fine. But, not that one. Pick someone else. (Llet her pick, actually. You can’t read people like her, you need someone better. Someone you she can trust. She needs to approve of them first.)
Dick is more disapproving, but he understands. Still, this changes how he sees Reader. Sweet innocent helpless Reader has a wild side. (But still reader is clearly helpless, obviously they don’t know what they’re doing.)
It also changes how Barbara sees Reader. Or confirms. Barbara runs under the assumption that Reader is more like Bruce than anyone realizes. (She’s not wrong, but it’s not in the way she thinks.) Bruce is a bit of natural flirt, he just hides it in his ‘Brucie’ persona. Reader apparently takes after that. (Damian sure didn’t.)
Damian, is disgusted, disappointed, and disapproving. He doesn’t doubt Father will scold you, but your date needs to be dealt with and all other suitors as well. (He’ll take care of it. He’s your brother, that’s his job.)
Tim, however, is legitimately jealous. He wanted to see this side of reader first. He got a glimpse of it before, but he wants it for himself now that he sees the full thing. (Also, right in front of the camera? Did Reader know it was there? If they did, would they be okay with Tim filming them more? Just to observe, please.)
Tim immediately starts pulling up all the information he can about Reader’s date. Without Bruce’s prompting this time. Bruce does nod in approval before marching to the entrance. Intent on putting an end to this and giving Reader a firm talking to.
It goes, horribly. Date is forced to leave and Bruce tears into Reader. (What happened to the outfit I bought you? Why didn’t you tell me you had a date? I didn’t approve of this. I don’t care that you’re back on time or that you’re old enough, you’re my child! Mine! You get my approval first.)
Reader stays composed, barely. The good news is that the brutal scolding is the only consequence Reader faces. (Bruce is more upset about Reader not seeking his approval than doing something he disapproves of. He’s your father. He should have a damn say. Would you have done this to D̴̖̞͑̊̓a̷͎͗̇d̸̜͍̩̓̎d̸̪̩̟̆̎y̶̛̼̌? Why are you doing this to him?)
The bad news, Reader’s date’s life is over. With just a few clicks from Tim and approval from Bruce, Date’s family company falling apart. Reported to the government, lawsuits filed by third-parties. Hidden debts needing to be collected NOW. Any misfiled taxes? Found and reported. And, most importantly, all calls and ways for Date to contact reader again, blocked.
Socially and financially, Date’s life is ruined in less than twenty-four hours. Worst of all, Reader doesn’t know. They’re still on cloud nine about the night, despite Bruce’s lecture. But, come Sunday morning, two days later, things fall apart.
Date is reported dead. Apparent suic1de just the night before. The financial implosion of the family was named the apparent reason.
Reader is distraught, confused, and hurt. What happened? What’s going on? This can’t be happening. I don’t want to lose anymore people I care about. I don’t want to lose someone like Momma and Daddy again.
Reader’s Gotham friends console Reader, saying it’s not their fault. That Date struggled with thought before. Don’t blame yourself. (They weren’t worth your time.)
Surprisingly enough, it’s Dick that finds reader having a borderline breakdown.
Dick clings and coddles and coos, but this time. Reader clings back. Reader clings back tight. Desperate for comfort. Which is surprising for Dick.
Most of the family tends to brush off his attempts at comfort until they hit rock bottom. For once, this isn’t someone hitting rock bottom before they need him. This is someone that’s just genuinely sad and overwhelmed and needs wants him.
Dick also ran under the assumption that Reader was allergic to affection, like Damian and Bruce. But, apparently, that wasn’t the case. It’s a nice feeling. To have someone not fight him when he tries to be comforting. Someone who is happy to take it. Of course, he doesn’t stay long. Once Reader pulls themselves together he’s got to get back to Buldhaven, but this time he leaves a bit slower. (But, him leaving somehow makes Reader feel worse.)
#dc x reader#yandere batfamily#yandere dc#yandere batboy#yandere batfam#platonic batfamily#platonic batfam#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere batfam x reader#yandere dick grayson#yandere tim drake#yandere jason todd#yandere cassandra cain#yandere stephanie brown#yandere damian wayne#yandere duke thomas#yandere bruce wayne#batfamily x reader#batfam x reader#platonic yandere#romantic yandere#mentions suic1de
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
I love all the dunking on James Somerton but I don’t think we’ve focused enough on all his lesbophobic rhetoric because the things he says are genuinely so astoundingly ahistorical and insensitive and it infuriates me that he was allowed to get away with it so long.
He literally said lesbians didn’t face police violence on the same scale as gay men when that’s just demonstrably untrue. Lesbians, ESPECIALLY butch, GNC, and trans lesbians, faced MASSIVE amounts of police violence AND STILL DO and if he gave a single shit about like. Women as people. Or even just LGBT history in general as he so proclaims to care about, he would know that. I’m going to start beating people to death with copies of Stone Butch Blues until they fucking listen
And I’d really love to know which fucking planet he lives on where lesbians apparently have all this great representation, and where we as lesbians are allowed to write our own stories, because I’m really not seeing that pretty much anywhere in mainstream media. I’m still seeing lesbians portrayed in stereotypical or fetishistic ways, and that’s when I see us portrayed at all. And yes cartoons are great and fine but there is so painfully little lesbian representation written by lesbians geared primarily towards adults.
But at this point, the wider community’s general lack of a reaction to lesbophobia in their ranks disappoints but doesn’t surprise me. It’s sad and somewhat astonishing that he’s escaped accountability for his lesbophobic comments up to this point, but again, not surprising. We need to stop letting our community, especially people like James Somerton who get held up as voices for the community, get away with lesbophobia.
#hbomberguy#james somerton#lesbophobia#this is just like a really poorly constructed rant and there’s prob people who have said this better than me#pastel's greatest hits
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
ALL’S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR - LN4
↳ pt.4
summary : A week of not so secret flirting, drunken parties, and being surrounded by your best friends; it ends with a promise and a kiss.
og summary : Its the vacation of your dreams! With your best friends, rich men, live music, and flowing drinks, nothing can ruin it. Even if a certain Formula 1 driver (who seems to have an affinity for annoying you) is there every step of the sandy way.
listen up : suggestive comments!! kissing! language!! all done <33 thanks for all the love recently i truly love you all. final part pt.1 pt.2 pt.3
word count : 3324 + tiny bit of smau
⋆。‧˚⋆
My feet are freezing but my torso is warm. My head hurts and when I move to sit up in bed, I'm yanked back down by a weight over my waist.
What? I eye the arm over me and trail it all the way to the man next to me. No.
I practically throw his arm off me but he doesn’t wake up, just stirs a bit and tugs on the blanket. It moves down his bare chest to reveal his tanned abs.
I’m in my pajamas. My hair is knotted. My head is pounding. I hit Lando with a pillow.
“Norris!”
He groans, turning away from me and mumbling. Once he realizes the person yelling at him is in his bed, he blinks at me. “What could be so important that you’re waking me up by pillow?” His morning voice is deep and scratchy.
“What the fuck am I doing here!?” I remember going out. I don’t remember making my way into Lando’s bed!
He rolls his eyes then closes them. I hit him again, “Hey!”
“Lando!” I yell again, then my hand goes to my mouth and my eyes widen, “We didn’t…”
He looks genuinely offended, “Give me some credit, Pretty. You’d know.” His arms go to the back of his head, a slight smirk on his face.
I screw my face up, “You’re disgusting.”
“You’re the one who brought it up.” I hit him again, “Okay! Okay! You came here to get your purse but you were shit drunk and wouldn’t leave.”
Shit. “Oh.” I do not recall this at all. I cross my arms. “You couldn’t have slept on the couch?”
“You crashed my bed!” I remember him calling me beautiful.
I groan and stand up, pulling my hair up and finally spotting my purse. The floor is freezing and I can feel Lando’s eyes on me as I cross his room.
“You really don’t remember anything from last night?” I turn back so see him leant over the bed, the comforter dangerously low on his waist.
I turn back and pretend to look in my bag, “I don’t remember anything after my third shot and you dancing with that girl.” I know it’s the wrong thing to say right as it leaves my mouth.
“Oh… So you got drunk because you were jealous.” I don’t need to turn around to know he’s smirking.
“Goodbye Lando.” I make my way to the door.
“You’re not denying it!” He yells after me.
I shake my head and grab the door handle, “Truce, Norris. Don’t forget it!”
⋆༺
My friends and I meet for breakfast, gossiping about the locals and everything that happened last night. “You didn’t answer when I knocked this morning.” Rebecca looks at me while stirring her coffee.
“Hot night?” Alex teases as I make eye contact with Lily who’s smirking.
“I must have just been asleep…” My tone is less than convincing and me being late to breakfast didn’t help either. “You can’t freak out.”
I tell them about waking up next to Lando, their jaws dropped and their hands paused on utensils. Lily is the least shocked but definitely the most disappointed when I share that I didn’t have sex with him.
“Ok i’m officially freaking out!” Kika drops her fork, shaking her head as I prepare for the million questions they have for me.
⋆༺
LANDO
“Last day!” Pierre claps his hands together as we walk down the streets of turkey. The girls’ absence is very noticeable because my friends are fully attentive this morning.
“I’m sad.” Carlos sighs, “I don’t want to go back to real life.”
“I’m excited to go back!” Alex shrugs, looking around the white buildings, “I miss my cat.”
“I don’t know.” I say, “I've enjoyed this trip a lot. But I do need a break from you muppets.”
Charles hits my arm, “You only enjoyed it so much because you finally stopped toying around with Y/n.”
“Truth!” Pierre laughs, “I think you two are a great addition to the group. I mean you’re already in it but now everyone has a couple.
I eye him. “We’re not a couple. She barely likes me as it is.”
Carlos shakes his head, “Mate… She definitely likes you more than ‘barely’. Y/n may be strong willed but I've never seen her blush so much.”
I roll my eyes and pretend like that doesn’t make me like her more. “We’re friends. I think.”
“You think?” Charles raises a brow.
“I guess.” I say.
“Lando!” Carlos practically screams and slaps his hands down on my shoulders, “You need to ask her out.”
“I’m not asking her out! She’s scary as fuck.”
“Pussy.” Pierre and Alex cough at the same time as I side eye them.
“You’re just scared she’s gonna reject you.” Carlos says in my ear as I elbow him in the stomach, “Ow!”
“Fuck off and let’s go.”
⋆༺
YOU
I know he’s staring at me. I know he’s not trying to cover it up. I know he wants me to look back.
And I know I look good as hell.
“Norris!” Carlos calls from the water, “Come on!”
Lando doesn’t respond so I assume he shook his head because I don’t hear him getting up. I open my eyes and tilt my sunglasses down just as a smile breaks out on Lando’s face.
I suddenly understand the extent of why women fall at his feet. He’s got glasses on but his smile makes me want him to break my heart.
“Wanna go swim?”
I’m laying on my stomach so I rest my head against my warm arm and respond, “Go swim with Carlos.”
He rolls his eyes, “I don’t want to swim with Carlos.”
“Too bad. So sad.” I close my eyes again as I hear him mumble something under his breath.
“Wanna talk about your little jealously streak then?”
I sit up and face the water, “You’re one to talk.” He gives me a look to which I pull my sunglasses back on my head to fully look at him, “You gave that waiter a death glare!”
“He was being weird.”
I shake my head and laugh, “He was asking if I wanted parmesan!”
Lando does not look amused, playing around with his camera, “Parmesan is just where it starts…”
“So what? It’s cheese then asking to fuck me?”
He crosses his arms on the tanning chair, “Exactly.”
I breathe out, looking out at our friends in the water and the clear skies. “You shouldn’t care about that, Lando.”
“I can’t help it.” He shuffles around, snapping a few pictures as he nonchalantly says, “You looked good in my bed.”
I turn to him again, trying to actually see if he’s being serious but his face doesn’t crack into a smile. I’m speechless. And it’s embarrassing. “I- No.” I place my feet onto the sand and quickly stand, pulling off my sarong as I walk down the beach.
He follows me, of course he does.
“Don’t hide, Pretty. You blushing because of me is a lovely sight.” His fucking smile, god!
I’m frustrated that I can’t act cool around him all of the sudden, “Why don’t you look at the very beautiful ocean right in front of us!?”
He doesn’t even glance at the view, “I prefer you.”
My lips pull together in a thin line, “I can’t stand you.”
“I have a sneaking suspicion…” he steps forward and whispers, “that you can.”
I swallow and accidentally make eye contact with Lily who is smirking at us. I know they can’t hear what he’s saying but it still makes me nervous. “I’m sorry for last night.” It’s all I can think to say.
“I think we already established that it was no problem.” Right because he liked me in his bed! Kill me now. “Don't worry. We’ll have a redo soon enough.”
He starts walking away from me as I gasp, “A redo!? Lando what do you mean!?”
He starts walking backward, slowly. “One on both our terms? One with two sober attractive people?” He raises a brow.
I cross my arms but honestly want to laugh. I walk closer, “Keep dreaming, Norris.”
“It’s called manifesting, actually!” Is all he says before picking me up and slinging me over his shoulder. It takes me so off guard that I can’t help my scream.
“Lando!”
I can hear the smirk in his voice, his hands gripping my legs, “Scream my name, Pretty.”
⋆༺
LANDO
I’m looking at her again.
A little less admiring this time because i’m holding back a laugh as she tries to take Pierre down in a game of chicken.
She’s on Carlos’ shoulders while Charles has Pierre sat on his. Everyone is laughing around us as they watch the four.
I don’t even realize the man next to me until he clears her throat, “Hey man.” He’s american.
“Hi.” I think he’s going to ask for picture or something but then he looks up at Y/n and I get a sick sort of feeling that this is my karma for teasing her.
He looks back at me and gives me a cheesy grin, “I’m Nate.”
I nod slowly, “Hi Nate.”
“Mine telling me your friend's name?” Ok rude. He didn’t even ask for mine. I hate him.
“Carlos?” I blink, pointing to the man.
Nate laughs a bit awkwardly, “Nah man… The hot girl on his shoulders.”
“Oh.” I eye him, my disdain obvious, “That’s Y/n.”
“Y/n, huh? She single?” I give him a look to which he looks frightened at, His hand goes to my shoulder and I fight the urge to step back, “Shit! She’s not your girl, is she?”
“Um…” Everything in me wants to say yes. “No. No she’s not.”
He hums, “Right… I know that look. I’ll back off, I get it.” He’s grinning like he knows all my secrets, “Sorry to bother you.” I think he’s going to leave but he stops, “Man also- in my experience, it’s not a good sign, guys asking you about her.”
He leaves.
What the fuck? I finally get the girl to tolerate me and now everyone thinks I'm supposed to fall at her feet and beg her?
Yeah I'll do it.
⋆༺
YOU
The day has flown by, with the sun burning us one last time and our lunch at the best local place where the chef adores us. I’m sad to go. Even If we still have this last night.
Dinner is slow and quiet, we’re all pretty tired but comment on little things around us.
I’m in a long dark blue dress, my favorite for our last night. Lando’s next to me and by the end of our dinner, he rests his head on my shoulder. I say nothing because I like his closeness.
Kika clears her throat, “This was an amazing trip and I'm very glad I got to enjoy it with you lot. I’m very very thankful for everyone here, and how our little group operates.”
Pierre rubs her back, “I’m thankful for hotel beds. And mojitos and sunscreen.” I laugh as Alex starts.
“I’m grateful for fish and sunglasses.”
Lily shakes her head, “I’m thankful for my lovely friends and for all the amazing food we ate! Plus me beating Lando in golf.”
Lando groans next to me, “I’ll get you one day, Lil.”
I smile, “I’m grateful for the ocean! And boat rides and night swims.”
“I’m grateful for spas and books!” Alexandra joins in.
Charles smiles at her lovingly, “I’m thankful for friends and cooking classes.” God that seems like forever ago.
“I’m thankful for golf as well!” Carlos grins, “And wine.”
Rebecca laughs and squeezes his hand, “I’m grateful for morning yoga and sunsets.”
Lando doesn’t sit up when it’s his turn, just stays resting on my shoulder, “I’m thankful for my camera and all the pretty views I've captured.” His foot nudges mine.
I blink, looking down at him as he just stares forward. Kika grins and holds up her glass, “To us!” I join as we all hold up our respective drinks.
“To us!” We repeat and cheers, Lando’s head leaving my shoulder as he holds up his water.
“You know…” Pierre looks around at us, “I’m not very tired.”
Carlos grins and taps his finger against the table, “It’s our last night…”
Lily laughs and stands, “Beach bar!”
⋆༺
The thought of drinking makes me feel sick so I stick to water. Lando is nursing a drink but it’s the same one I've seen him with all night.
I catch his eye while he’s talking to the bartender, he smiles softly and makes his way over to me immediately.
“Hi.” Hi? I don’t think Lando’s ever said Hi to me.
“Hello…?”
He leans against the bar as the music gets louder, “Fun night?”
I nod, sipping my water as someone bumps into us. He drunkenly apologizes before Lando looks at me again, “Want to go for a walk?”
I find walking down the beach at night with Lando far too often… Not that i’m complaining.
His drink is gone and his shoes are in his hand as mine are in mine, “Accomplish everything you wanted to?”
“Accomplish?” I laugh, “Do you go to every vacation with a to-do list?”
He shrugs shyly, “Maybe a mental one. Like I knew I needed to jet ski. I didn’t know it would end up with an attempted drowning…”
I scoff and hit his arm, “I wish your dramatic ass did drown.”
He just grins, “You’re remarkably bad at lying.”
I shake my head, looking back at him, “It’s something about you… You call me out on everything.”
“Because it’s so easy to catch. Even if you’re joking… you bite your lip a bit. No matter the lie.”
I frown, “You notice things like that?”
He looks past me at the water, then back to me. His face is shaded but the moonlight helps see his features, “I notice a lot of things about you.”
“If you told me that a week ago… I would have laughed in your face.”
“It didn’t just start this week. You just avoided me at every chance you got before this trip, but you’re hard to miss.”
I’m walking backwards now, looking at his loose button down and his hand in his pocket, “Are you saying you watched me, Norris?”
“I don’t think you understand that you’re very interesting to watch.” I go to speak but he cuts me off, “And don’t you dare call me creep. I know you do it too.”
I smile, “I’m grateful for you, Lando.”
His brows raise, “Am I being pranked…?” He comes to a stop as I push his shoulder back.
“I am. You bug the good out of me.”
He sets down his shoes, the music and lights from the beach bar far away but still seen and heard softly. “I’m glad you think so.”
It surprises me when his hand goes to my waist, “What are you doing?” I say quickly.
“Humor me.” Is all he says as his other hand meets my waist for the second time. I move my arms to his shoulders, my hand behind his head.
“Do you dance with all your friends by moonlight?” We sway a bit together.
He smiles again, his eyes so bright even in the dark, “I can tell you in confidence that this is a Y/n special. But you hurt me a bit.”
I raise a brow, “What?”
“Friendzoned while thinking about kissing you isn’t a fun thing.” My heart rate starts up.
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Go out with me. When we get back.” I watch him talk so close to me, “No hostess forcing us together or shitty small talk. Come on, Pretty. For real.” He’s so beautiful and so nice and so funny.
“We don’t live close. Lando, you travel-”
“Fuck that. I’m asking you on a date in Monaco because I like you, a lot. If nothing else was in the way, what would you say?” He seems almost nervous and it makes me smile because he never shows this side of him.
“I would say yes.” I can’t help it. “But those things are very real and…”
“And?” He raises a brow, a smile replacing his nervous face.
I can’t help but smile, “And I like you. Maybe too much…” this makes his grin widen. “But still!”
“I can fly. I don’t know if you know this…” he leans in closer to whisper in my ear, “But I have some extra money.”
I pretend to push away but he holds me tight, “One date.”
He nods, repeating my words, “One date.”
“Our friends will freak out.”
“They’ll love it.”
“I know they will.” I shake my head, “I swear this was just a ploy to get us together.”
He laughs, “It worked, didn’t it?”
I laugh with him because he’s correct. I started this week with a bad attitude and a need for sun. I’m leaving it with a pretty boy and tanned skin.
“You still don’t know a lot about me.” We sway.
Lando shrugs, our faces extra close now, “I know you can talk for hours. I’ll listen.”
And I know he’s not lying.
“I’m annoying a lot of the time.”
He nods far too theatrically, “Trust me, I know!” I step on his foot but he just uses it as a way to bring me closer. I can hear his breathing and when I meet his eyes again, they’re soft and kind, “One more thing.”
“Go for it, Norris.” I’m whispering but I don’t know why.
There’s no one around, just the faint sound of music and waves crashing. “Can I kiss you?” It’s something so simple that I want to cry.
I smile, “You’re lucky you’re pretty, Norris.” He gives me a look, “Yes, Lando. You can kiss me anytime.”
And so he does.
⋆༺
LANDO
She smells like coconuts and tastes like mint. Her lips are soft against mine.
Our first kiss was on this beach, but it was different. It was hungry and intrigued. I was drunk and she was ethereal.
Now, she’s still beautiful but I'm not drunk. She’s soft. Does that make sense? It makes sense to me. She’s soft against me, his hands brush my neck and cheek, I can feel her smile against me.
Her kiss is something writers dream about and something I’ve imagined in a million different scenarios.
The start of this trip, my main goal was to tease and bug her until she broke. My goal now has been fulfilled with her promise of a real date and her kissing me like I actually mean something to her.
I like that I mean something to her.
She pulls back, her hands on my neck and in my hair, “You’re really beautiful too, you know.” Her lipgloss is smudged and her dress is getting wrinkled under my touch.
I take her in, every inch of her. I want to burn this moment in my brain forever. I haven’t stopped smiling for hours and it’s all because of her. “You’re amazing.”
She laughs, “You don’t have to one up my compliment.” I really didn’t mean to even try.
“I’m serious.” Her face tells me she understands suddenly, “Thank you, Y/n. You really are my favorite surprise this trip.”
She smiles, her hand on my chest, “I never believed our friends. They used to say how great we’d be together.”
“They’re geniuses and I owe them my life.” I shrug as she laughs my favorite laugh in the world: the one where I make her head drop and her teeth show.
“I’m sorry I ever was mean to you.”
“That’s alright…” I push back a strand of her hair, “Everyone needs a bit of foreplay.”
LANDONORRIS
landonorris DUMP FROM MARMARIS!! I miss it and I hate the rain.
username262 : TAN LANDO IS BACK
↳ username32 : he’s literally always tan i’m jealous
yourusername : 😊☀️
↳ landonorris :😋🫵
↳ username123 : what…?
username01 : who is the girl lando??
↳ username44 : his friend!! him and some drivers + girlfriends were on the trip
↳ username56 : interesting that they were the only single ones there…
pierregasly : let’s go back
charlesleclerc : alexandra is already planning another one (this time as a true couples trip)
↳ landonorris : WOAHHH SHHH
landofan4 : she’s sooo pretty istg how do these men pull these women!?
↳ username628 : they’re not even confirmed??
↳ username25 : trust me they will be in a month.
carlossainz : maybe you won’t suck at golf next time
↳ lilymunihe : not likely.
kikagomez : treat her poorly and i’ll punch you
↳ yourusername : punch him!
↳ landonorris : i haven’t even done anything?? and i wont!!!
maxfewtrell : thanks for the invite
alexalbon : I love the part of this dump where the only solo pics are of you and Y/n……..🤨🤨🤨🤨
↳ yourusername : funny alex my favorite part is the same thing😁😁😁
#fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 fic#lando norris fanfic#lando norris#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando norris angst#lando x you#lando norris series
472 notes
·
View notes