#i’m used to getting up at 7am for work and i never struggled with it but right now i just can’t do anything

[the-casbah-way]

i woke up too late to study (again) and it’s raining and i’m too depressed to go to uni so i have to cancel on all my friends today (again)

[secondhand-snow]

a body of impulses

chapter 3: letting love devour

lukas matsson x f!roy! reader (succession)

★chapter 2★

wc: 8.4k+

warnings: dysfunctional family, swearing, fluff, smut, age gaps, virgin!reader, inexperienced!reader, virginity loss, vaginal sex, making out, vaginal fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), corruption kink, aftercare, no use of y/n

summary: After Italy, things are hard. Your family is divided, your life is disordered, your brain is on fire. Lukas knows you better than yourself, and proves it by repairing your sanity in a way only he can.

author's note: here's a nice little fluffy chapter for you after our last installment! hope you enjoy, it was so fun to write ♡ please consider liking, commenting, or reblogging if you enjoyed!

The past few months have been hard, to say the least. The day of Caroline’s wedding was like a bomb had been dropped on your family. Logan wanted to sell to GoJo, and no matter what your siblings did, they couldn't change his mind. They felt betrayed, he felt discredited, and the whole thing ended up in flames. After that night, you didn’t have the energy to reach out to your siblings. They continued messaging you, half accusing, half blaming, you left their messages unopened. Except for Kendall, who you responded to in order to gain more information on his hospital visit. When you were satisfied he was okay, he got the silent treatment as well.

Worse than the bomb was the fallout. You left Italy alone the day after the wedding. Logan stayed in Italy for a while, his loyal executives staying by his side. You aren’t sure what your siblings ended up doing, you only know that Tom flew back alone as well. When you get back to New York, you throw yourself into your work. You get to the office at 6 in the morning, you leave at 10 at night, you never take lunch breaks. It’s the only thing that keeps your mind occupied. You barely sleep, you barely eat, you barely speak.

The rhythm finally ends with Lukas. Everything always ends with Lukas. He knows you’ve been struggling, knows how things ended with your family. Every night he begs you to take a break, get some sleep, and relax for the first time in over a month. You try to convince him you’re okay, that you're just busy with the deal and coping the best you can. He doesn’t believe you. Lukas keeps asking every night when you call. He offers to pay for a spa visit, a vacation, anything to get you out of the office. Like the money is what’s stopping you.

You play a game of cat and mouse, him chasing you and you denying him. It goes on for weeks. Until he doesn’t give you a choice.

“You’re coming to Sweden tomorrow.”

“Lukas… It’s 12 o’clock at night.”

“I’m sending my jet, your flight is 7am.” You roll over in your bed, moving from your back to prop yourself up on your elbows, eyebrows raising as he speaks. You were exhausted, just getting home from work an hour ago and getting into bed as quickly as possible, even if you couldn’t sleep. 

“I have to work tomorrow, I can’t just ditch everything for a vacation.”

“They’ll survive without you for a few days.” He sighs, you hear fabric rustle like he’s leaned back onto where he’s sitting.

“I have so much to do…”

“You’re coming.”

“I can’t just go to Sweden on a whim!” Your voice isn’t really upset, just surprised and a little frustrated at the intrusion.

“It’s not on a whim, I planned it for you.”

“You’re fucking insane.” 

“I miss you. I want to see my girlfriend.”

You pause then, letting out a low sigh. Lukas always knows what to say to you, always knows how to get you to do what he wants. 

“I miss you too.”

“I knew it.” You can hear the smirk in his voice when he speaks now. He knows he’s won.

“I tell you that every day, it’s not a new revelation.” Lukas laughs quietly on the other line, the sound bringing a shy smile to your face. “I don’t think this is a good idea though. If we went public without me telling my family first…”

“Then we won’t. We’ll be careful and stay private until it’s a good time. Nobody will know unless you want them to, I promise.”

“Okay. Okay, fine. I’ll come to see you. But you know I can’t stay long.”

“We’ll see.” He half-sings, and you’re glad he can’t see the grin on your face when you try to sound annoyed.

“Lukas!” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He hangs up before you can change your mind, leaving you staring at the bright screen of your phone in your otherwise dark apartment, an embarrassingly large grin on your face. You try falling back asleep that night, but don’t manage to get more than an hour or two before waking back up. It’s not the worst night of sleep you’ve gotten, and you needed to pack anyway. Sending a quick message to your assistant, you quickly cancel your plans for the week. You know you said a few days, but you also know Lukas can persuade you like no one else. So, at 7am sharp you find yourself seated on an unfamiliar jet, making excuses to try and influence yourself enough to leave, call off the trip and head back to the office. It doesn’t work. 

Lukas’s Swedish house is everything you thought it would be. Just outside of Stockholm, the building was modern and luxurious, with a long driveway and tall fir trees keeping the property private. The mansion was made of stone and dark woods with huge glass windows. It was simple and quiet, while simultaneously being incredibly opulent. It’s so Lukas it almost made you laugh. You took in the landscape, peering out the window of the SUV you were sitting in. Lukas insisted on sending you his personal driver, not trusting anyone else to bring you here safely. 

When the car finally rolled to a stop and you exited the vehicle only a few seconds passed before Lukas was running out the front door of his mansion towards you. He was shoeless, wearing a pair of plain sweatpants and a shirt, with his hair messy and arms open. The goofy look on his face and the gawky way he rushed towards you made you giggle, your lips parting into a beaming smile. When he reached you, his arms tucked under your armpits and scooped you up, your feet lifting from the ground as he held you close. You wrapped your arms around his neck, tucking your head into the top of his chest.

“You’re here!” His voice was slightly muffled from the way he had his lips pressed into your hair, but his tone was happy, maybe the happiest you’d ever heard him.

“I am. I finally made it.” Lukas set you back down onto your feet, dropping his arms around your waist before pulling you in for a soft kiss. You could feel his smile on your lips before you separated.

“Let me show you around.” He intertwines your fingers, presses his arm against yours playfully, and begins leading you into the house.

The inside is contemporary, filled with the highest end furniture and appliances that money can buy. It's minimalist and chic, and looks a little more lived in than Lukas’s Swiss villa. You recognize a few areas from the background of Facetimes and photos Lukas has sent you. The bookshelves in his office, the painting in his dining room, the mirrors in his home gym. It feels strangely nostalgic to see the spaces in real life, strangely like home. When you reach his bedroom you’re a bit surprised to see your luggage sitting there. The surprise quickly fades with the realization that he trusted you enough to share a space with you. Self-pride takes over your emotions, a small smile finding its way to your face.

“So, what do you have planned for me?” You release Lukas’s hand to walk over to his bed, sitting gracefully on the edge of it to look up at him.

“You’ll see.” He moves to stand closer to you, your knees brushing the front of his legs as he reaches out to run a hand through your hair.

“You really won’t tell me?”

“It’s a surprise!” His hand moves to cup your chin, tilting your head up even further to look him in the eyes. “You’ll like it, I promise.”

“I am not a fan of surprises.” You raise your eyebrows at Lukas, making him snicker at the pouty look gracing your face.

“You’ll like this one.” 

“You don’t know that.”

“I know you.”

That shuts you up. You can’t argue with the statement, you both know it’s the truth. Lukas knows more about you than your own family. He’s seen you at your most vulnerable and stayed, a feat nobody else in the world can claim. The months you have spent with him feel like centuries, and you don’t think you can ever go back to how your life was without him.

The rest of that day consisted mainly of lounging around, getting used to time difference and catching up on the few things you hadn’t shared with your boyfriend already. You watched a movie on his couch, casually resting your head in his lap while he worked on his phone. Lukas wasn’t the biggest cuddler, but he did enjoy your small displays of affection. Dinner was spaghetti and wine, prepared by his personal chef since neither of you were great cooks. As the sun set, the pair of you found yourself outdoors, in Lukas’s hot tub. 

Your hair pulled back so it wouldn’t get wet, his shirt off exposing a light scattering of blonde hair on his chest. You sat next to him in the water, your head laying lightly on his shoulder while your feet stretched out in front of you, slightly floating. For the first time in months, your brain was quiet and your surroundings were calm.

“Have you ever used your pool before?” Your head moves from its resting point you look up at Lukas, your brows furrowed in question.  

“Of course. Do people do that?”

“You mean- buy a house and not use the features it comes with?” He nods. “Yeah, all the time. That’s like… a norm in old-money social circles.”

“Really?” His head tilts, a confused smirk coming over his lips.

“Really. Roman has a house in Puerto Rico he’s never even been to. Says its ‘just in case.’” You laugh candidly at the admission, your head falling back onto his shoulder as you realize just how odd it sounds.

“Just in case what?”

“I have no clue. You should ask him, he likes you.” Lukas just hums in response, a hand coming around your shoulders to hold you close to him. You stay that way for a minute, just breathing and being together. Eventually, you move from your position, his arm falling away as you shift to settle in front of him in the water, bending a bit at your hips to stay at his eye level, hands resting on his thighs as you lean your weight forward. It gives him a great view of your cleavage, which you immediately notice as his eyes drift down to your chest.

“Do you think this is weird?” You look up at Lukas through your lashes, his gaze moving back up to meet yours.

“What? Us?” You nod. “Yeah, a little.” He shrugs, his mouth forming an indifferent line.

“I just feel like we move so fast, like nobody else would really understand it if we told them.”

“Well they don’t have to understand it. Are you happy like this?”

“Very.”

“Then that’s what matters.” He reaches forward, grabbing onto your arms to pull you into his lap, straddling his hips as his hands move to cradle your ass. “ I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks. The media, our companies, your family- it’s all unimportant. I only care about you.”

You pause for a second at that, gnawing on your bottom lip as you look into Lukas’s eyes. Your arms move from resting at your sides to circle around the back of his neck. 

“You’re serious about this? About our relationship? About me?” There’s no hesitation before he answers.

“Yes.” A soft smile comes to his lips. “I’m more serious about you than any other relationship I’ve been in, to be honest.”

Something in his eyes tells you that it’s the truth. There’s a tenderness there you haven’t seen before. His answer satisfies you enough to make you lean forward, planting a gentle kiss on his lips. Of course, he deepens it. You’ve learned that Lukas can never do something halfway, with him it’s always all or nothing. The realization calms you a bit, dulls your fears of manipulation and misuse. You almost can’t believe that someone would care for you as much as Lukas does, you think there must be an underlying reason. But it feels so good to be with him, the potential for damage is worth it.

When Lukas said he was planning everything for you, he wasn’t kidding. The following days of your trip are planned perfectly, with every fine detail figured out for you. You don’t have to make any decisions, just let yourself be led and take things as they come. Part of you loves it, part of you hates it. You go along with it despite your uncertainty.

The first day, you go on a spa trip. The entire building had been rented out for the two of you, a needed step to take for maintaining the privacy of your relationship. Lukas assures you the working staff have also signed NDAs, just to be safe. You spend hours in matching robes getting pampered with the finest and rarest ingredients in the world. The massage you get disposes of all the stress you’ve been carrying, leaving your back and shoulders feeling the best they have in months. You convince Lukas to get a facial, snapping a photo of his face with cucumber slices on his eyes and setting it as his contact photo in your phone.  But more than that, you’re able to be in a semi-public place with your boyfriend and not hide the connection between you two. There’s no harm in pressing a wayward kiss to his lips, in holding his hand as you walk together. Your affection being unconfined in the open is more of a luxury than anything else you receive that day.

The day after that Lukas takes you on a hike. You haven’t had the time to get out in nature in so long, and he knows it. It’s only a short drive to the area, a gorgeous forest of towering trees and lush vegetation. You hadn’t brought active clothing with you, but luckily were able to obtain some via Lukas’s assistant in time for your activity. When you promise to repay Lukas for the money he spent on your outfit, he just scoffs and presses an affectionate kiss to your temple. The hike itself isn’t too hard, only 5 miles round trip with a few uphill treks. On the way Lukas takes the time to point out native plants to you, and you pretend to understand when he pronounces their names in Swedish. At the end you’re left with the view of a beautiful lake and acres of rolling green hills around it. You take a selfie to commemorate your experience, the image showing you smiling at the camera happily and Lukas stooping over to press a kiss to your cheek. You’re so tired at the end that you fall asleep on his shoulder on the drive back, his hand covering yours and blissful smiles on both your faces.

The third day, you stay at home. Lukas apologizes profusely that he can’t take you shopping in old town Stockholm, but knows it's too much of a risk for you to be seen together. Instead of a public outing, you camp out in his living room and spend the day watching your favorite movies. He brings out a horde of Swedish candy, making you try every single one no matter how strange they sound. Bilar ends up being your favorite, you finish an entire bag between the two of you. You show him your favorite childhood movie, cuddling into his shoulder on the couch as you look up at his reactions. He tells you about his favorite movies, the tv shows he loved growing up, the books he read in primary school. It feels familial and a little cutesy. It’s a nice break in the intensity of your relationship.

Later that night you look over at Lukas, stretched out on the couch as he watches the TV intently. You roll over onto your stomach, propping your upper body up on your elbows, bending your knees to hold your feet in the air. 

“Tell me something about yourself.” His head turns to you, a slightly concerned look on his face.

“What do you want to know?” Lukas moves his attention fully to you, shifting his upper body in your direction. You pause, thinking for a second before responding.

“Tell me something you haven’t told anyone else.” 

“Ever?”

“Ever.” He takes a minute, head tilting to look at the ceiling as he thinks.

“I don’t know if I have one of those. I’m a pretty open person.” You give a small laugh at that. He mocks offense at your reaction, mouth opening wide and shoulders raising.

“That is so not true Lukas.”

“I tell people all sorts of things!”

“You calculate what you say though. Like- you tell people things to make them think you’re less threatening.” The smile on Lukas’s face makes you know you have him caught. “You only share what you know people can’t use against you.”

“You know me too well.” You smile at that, move to crawl over to him and roll over, putting your head on his lap, looking up into his eyes. Lukas threads his fingers through your hair, tilts his chin to return your gaze.

“Have you ever been like that with me?” He considers for a minute, eyebrows raising to accentuate the few wrinkles on his forehead.

“Maybe at first.” You nod. “But after I ate your pussy I stopped.” He laughs, a little smug. Your hand comes up to swat at his chest playfully.

“It’s weird seeing you talk to other people, though. Like a switch flips in your brain and all the sudden you’re this social mastermind.”

“Yeah…” Lukas lets out a small sigh, his tongue darting out to wet his lower lip before he continues. “I guess I keep my guard up, it can be a little intense.”

“Intense is a good word. For both of us.”

“It is.”

“You really don’t have anything that you haven’t told anyone else? Anything at all?” You widen your eyes and pout your bottom lip.

“Let me think.” Lukas takes a deep breath, closes his eyes for a moment. “I sent this girl my blood once.”

“What?” 

“An ex of mine, I sent her frozen bricks of my blood. Like, these half-pint blood ice cubes.” You hesitate before responding, a genuine question in your voice.

“Why did you do that?”

“It was a joke at first. Then I just kept doing it. I don’t know- I just like being able to do that shit, you know? Like- having some power over her, even though we aren’t together.” He shrugs, averts his eyes from yours for a second before glancing back down as you speak.

“That’s pretty bad, Lukas.” Your tone is more lecturing than actually upset, like a teacher reprimanding a student for bad behavior.

“Yeah, yeah I know. You gonna break up with me?”

“Nah. I know people who have done worse.” You give him a little smile. “Who’s the ex?”

“My comms head. Her name’s Ebba.”

“Well that makes things complicated.” You laugh a little at the strangeness of the situation. Lukas sheepishly smiles.

“Yeah. You’ll probably end up meeting her at some point.”

“I don’t think I wanna meet her, honestly.”

“Because she’s my ex?”

“Yeah. I’d be jealous.” Lukas cracks a grin at that, but you're partially serious. You rise up from your spot in his lap, moving to sit so you face him, legs crossed in front of you. “For real! How come she gets your blood and I don’t?”

“You want my blood?” His eyebrows furrow, a genuinely surprised look spreading over his features.

“I dunno… maybe.” You blush a little at the strange admission and bring a hand up to push your hair back. “ I just want all of you.”

A cheeky smile returns to Lukas’s lips at the confession. “You’re almost as crazy as I am.”

You don’t respond to that, just move a hand to jokingly push him away. A move that causes Lukas to retaliate by bringing a hand to your chin and pulling you into a soft kiss. You huddle up together to finish the film, with him actually focused on the screen and yourself slowly drifting to sleep. When the movie finishes, you’re fast asleep, head resting gently on Lukas’s shoulder as quiet snores leave your mouth. You don’t see the smile that rests on Lukas’s mouth when he notices you. You don’t see the gentle kiss he presses to your forehead before he picks you up and carries you to bed for the night.

You wake up in the early hours of the morning, moonlight still shining through the large windows to illuminate the room in front of you. Your hair is spread out on the pillow like a circlet around your head. As you roll from your position lying on your back, the sleeping form of Lukas comes into your view. He’s on his side, facing you, with his eyes closed and shoulders rising with even, deep breaths. He looks so peaceful like this, vulnerable in a way you’ve never seen before. You reach out, your hand brushing his hair back off his forehead before falling to cup his cheek. You can’t help but lean in and press a sweet kiss to his temple.

Lukas stirs, when your hand falls away, a lighter sleeper than you realized. His eyelids flutter for a second as he wakes, then open to reveal sleepy eyes staring back at you. A small smile comes to his lips at the sight of you, his shoulders rolling a bit as he comes further into consciousness. 

“You brought me up?” Your voice is quiet, still a bit hoarse from sleep when you speak. Lukas nods in response. A smile comes to your lips, one wide enough to show your teeth. Your hand comes up to his cheek again, the arm closest to the bed moving to prop your upper body up a bit as you lean into him. You kiss him, smile still on your mouth and he reciprocates with twice the force. His hand comes to your waist, pulling your body in close to him as he deepens the kiss, tongue tapping against your lips for permission. 

You allow him entrance, his tongue moving to trace on the roof of your mouth as you let out a soft moan. Your hips tilt into his, pressing your mound to the growing bulge in his fleece pajama pants. The effect is instant, a delicious pressure against your clit that pulls a soft gasp from your throat. Lukas shifts your position, rolling onto his back and using the hand on your waist to pull you to a straddling seat on his lap. He’s still laying down, with you now supporting yourself with a hand to be almost crawling on top of him. 

His pants his feet on the bed, allowing him to slowly roll his hips into yours, grinding you on on his bulge with the hands on your waist. You can’t help moving back from the kiss then, an involuntary moan leaving your mouth at the unexpected sensation. Lukas’s mouth moves to your neck, sucking a mark onto your skin before nipping hard enough to earn a small squeal from deep in your throat. You grind your hips into his again, moving back from your place on your hands to sit upright on Lukas’s lap. His lips follow you for a moment as you move before he drops his head back against the pillow, mouth open and breathing heavy.

Your hands move to Lukas’s chest, bracing yourself as you rock your hips into the hard outline of his cock. A muted hum rumbles through his chest at the feeling, his hands moving to grip your ass and encourage your movements. Your motions are a bit delicate, but your body responds all the same. The heat between your legs builds, shocks running down your thighs at the pressure on your clit. A steady stream of sighs fall from your mouth, a blush gracing your cheeks at the unrestrained showing of your pleasure. Your head falls back a bit, eyes shutting with heavy lids as your face is turned towards the ceiling.

“You’re so perfect.” Lukas briefly moves a hand from your hip to push himself into a seated position. His lips fall to your neck again, peppering you with small kisses and bites, then brushing against your ear. “You’re gorgeous like this, all needy and wanting.”

You can’t argue with that, your moans speaking for themselves. In response, you move to capture his mouth again in a passionate kiss, your sounds muffled against his skin. Lukas’s hands begin helping your movements, creating a steady rhythm of rolling and grinding. It’s too much and not enough at the same time. Your thighs shake with the pressure on your clit, but your core clenches around nothing, feeling terribly empty. You pull back from Lukas’s mouth as a truly desperate whimper leaves your lips.

“I want you.” The confession is breathless, your eyes heavily lidded and your chest rising and falling quickly.

“You have me.” He plants a kiss to your chin, your hand coming up to his jaw.

“No, I mean…” You sigh for a moment, heat creeping up your back at the strange embarrassment you feel. “I want you inside of me. I want you to fuck me.”

Lukas pauses at that, his head moving to look you deeply in the eyes. “You’re sure?”

“Yes.” There’s no hesitation in your answer, him barely finishing his question before you respond. “Please, Lukas.”

He nods, a gentle smile on his lips as he leans back into you with a quick kiss. When you separate, he gently moves you off his hips. You land in a seated position, knees bent with feet planted on the bed and arms behind you to brace your back up off the bed. Lukas moves on top of you, slotting himself between your legs as he sits back on his knees. His fingers come to rub small circles on the exposed skin of your lower thighs. 

“Can I take these off? And your panties?” His voice is low and thick with his accent, barely a whisper as he asks. You nod, spreading your legs a little wider to accommodate the clothing removal. He leans into you, hands moving to the waistband of your casual shorts before slowly pulling them down. You lift your hips a bit, helping as Lukas eases the fabric down the curve of your ass. He moves back from between your legs as the garment moves down your thighs, quickly working them down to your ankles before discarding them completely. Your skin exposed, your body spread out beneath him, you instinctually move to press your knees together.

Lukas just chuckles lowly, a lopsided smirk on his lips as he gently presses your knees back apart. His fingers slowly move to the inside of your thighs, snaking closer to your core. His hands land right under the swell of your ass, cupping your sighs there as he bends to look at your slit. You’re embarrassingly wet, already so worked up after just a little dry humping. Gently, so gently, his thumb moves to part your folds, brushing gently against your clit and causing you to squirm under his touch.

“Shh, I know… I gotta make you cum at least once before you’re ready to take me.” He doesn’t move from his place between your legs, just directs his words up to you. “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

You give a small hum in acknowledgement, moving to let your back fall against the covers, a pillow under your head to allow you to continue watching Lukas. His movements are slow, borderline teasing as he begins his work. A finger comes to your clit, beginning to toy with it in small circles. The effect is instant, growing the heat between your legs at a pace that never fails to amaze you. Gradually, Lukas’s movements increase, both in pressure and speed. Your chest heaves as the gasps leaving your throat grow louder and louder. You’re so lost in the pleasure, don’t even realize your hips are bucking against his touch until Matsson’s hand migrates to push your pelvis back against the bed, anchoring you in place.

His thumb remains on your clit, with his middle finger moving to gently prod against your entrance. Delicately, so delicately, his finger slides in. The movement is easy, no stretching against his width, though his finger is longer than you’ve had before, tapping further back in your cunt than your own fingers ever have. It feels divine to finally have something to clench down on, your silk walls tightening against his digit as he stimulates your clit. You’re already content with the feeling of being full, well, fuller than you’ve been before. But then, Lukas moves. He crooks his finger up, gently beginning to thrust it back and forth into you. 

The pad of his finger easily finds the spongy spot inside you, sending shock waves through your core. It’s only a few thrusts before you’re cumming, tension in your lower stomach finally peaking as your legs shake around Lukas. Your head rolls back, back arching up from the bed as a moan rips through your body. Lukas groans with you, fingers still moving as he fucks you through your orgasm. As your breathing regulates, you whine, a hand coming down to feebly push him away. 

“Good girl… Come on, give me one more.” Lukas’s voice is a low growl as he speaks, slowing his motions while his eyes flick up to yours. “You can take it.”

His ring finger moves, slowly pressing in to join his middle finger deep in your pussy. This time, there’s a stretch. The wetness helps, slicking his skin enough to not provide too much resistance. Even so, there’s a slight stinging sensation between your thighs as you get used to the new feeling. Lukas’s two fingers are the widest thing you’ve taken so far, and he knows it, taking a moment to let you adjust before he begins moving again. A mewl escapes your lips as his fingers take a hook shape, the pressure you previously felt on your g-spot intensified by the extra weight. 

Your hands grasp against the sheets near your hips, finding no purchase as the pleasure in your core begins to build again. When he brushes your clit again, you nearly pull away. The bundle of nerves is throbbing, hyper-sensitive from your first peak and incredibly responsive to Lukas’s touch. It’s almost too much, but it feels so good you lean into his pressure, hips gently rolling to meet his thrusts while he softly plays with your clit. Your fingers travel to the oversized t-shirt you wear, tangling in the fabric there, gently pulling in up to expose more of your stomach. Lukas’s hand on your hip moves up, exploring the new skin as he doubles his efforts on your pussy.

Gasps and faint moans fill the air as electric shocks run down your thighs. Soft words of “please” and “yes” leave your lips as you begin to reach your climax. What sends you over the edge is the feeling of Lukas’s nails as he gently rakes his fingers down your skin. The climax hits you like a wave, satisfaction running through your body with a heat that makes you gasp and whimper for more. Your eyes fall shut as you cum this time, hips moving against your will as your legs fall further open, limp with pleasure. You take time to catch your breath, leaving your eyes shut while you feel Lukas slowly withdraw his digits from you. It’s a strange feeling, being empty again, clenching around nothing in the aftershocks of your orgasm.

The bed shifts as Lukas moves, sitting up to pull his shirt over his head. You open your eyes at the sound of fabric rustling, vision still heavily lidded. His muscles are toned, skin lightly tanned and blonde hair growing a pattern on his chest. Your gaze draws down to the small trail of hair below his navel, disappearing underneath the waistband of his pants. He notices you looking, giving you a goofy smirk before he moves to cover your body with his.

“How do you feel?” His face is close as he talks, gazing into you with his icy blue eyes. You can’t help the smile that breaks out on your face, giggly and blissed out as you respond.

“So good.” Your hands move to his chest, fingers lacing into his light hair as you gently stroke over his muscles. “Will you help me with my top?”

The grin on his face speaks for itself, his hands moving to pull the fabric of your shirt over your head, you helping by shifting your weight. When your chest is exposed, Lukas immediately palms your tits. He squeezes, gently rolls your nipples between his fingers, smirks at the way this causes you to moan. It’s not long before his mouth dips to press kisses along your collarbones, falling to your breasts before he takes a nipple into his mouth, biting and sucking on the skin. Your hand moves to his hair, gasping and arching your back to press yourself against him harder. He chuckles in response, the hum vibrating through your body.

“Lukas…” You don’t have to finish your sentence for him to know what you mean. Know what you’re asking for. He presses a parting kiss to your chest, just between your breasts. Lukas sits back on his legs before moving to stand off the bed, making quick work of his pants as he strips them down his legs. His cock springs up, tip already glistening wet with pre-cum as he approaches you again.

You bite your lower lip at the sight, half from anxiety, half from arousal. He moves between your thighs, sitting up on his knees as he wraps a hand around the base of his shaft. His other hand comes to your thigh, spreading your legs wider as he slots himself in the space between them. Lukas is so close to you now, the front of his thighs pressing against the bottom of yours. His cock hovers over your mound, hand moving to gently stroke up his length while he looks down at you. Your breath comes deep and measured. You don’t blink under his stare, don’t look away, just gaze back into his eyes with the same intensity.

Lukas moves slowly, bending at the waist, his hand traveling to brace himself as he covers your body in his. The kiss he presses to your lips is electric, sending sparks down your body and through your brain. You can feel his cock lightly grazing the skin of your stomach, the realization making you moan into Lukas’s mouth. He swallows the sound eagerly before separating your lips, almost as breathless as you.

“Ready?” 

“Yes.”

His position moves, back to sitting up on his thighs as he begins to guide his cock into you. The hand that was holding him up goes to one of your hands, intertwining your fingers and squeezing. You feel his tip against your entrance, smooth and hot and large. Little by little, he presses into you. The stretch is instant, a stinging pain that makes you inhale roughly and squeeze Lukas’s hand. It’s not unbearable, but it is uncomfortable. Your brows furrow, face pinched with the harsh feeling.

“Are you okay?” Lukas’s motion pauses for a moment, his mushroom tip almost fully inside of you.

“Yeah- just… keep going.” Your voice is quiet and breathless, tinged with discomfort.

“Okay, it’s okay. I have you.” He presses in further, fully sheathing his tip inside of you, a movement that causes a small groan to come from your mouth. “Good. Good girl. You’re doing so well.”

You don’t respond to that, and he doesn’t expect you to. Lukas waits a moment before continuing to press in, so slowly it almost feels tortuous. The worst of the stretch seems like it's over, the pain staying constant instead of increasing like it had been. Lukas’s cock is heavy inside of you, the feeling new and pleasing. You can feel his tip pressing against every ridge inside of you, further and further back. Before long you feel him press against your cervix, a sensation that makes you jolt, pulling back a bit from his form. 

He frowns at that, squeezing your hand quickly before letting go to grab your hip. Lukas’s touch directs you to angle your pelvis differently, the movement causing his cock to sink further into your cunt. He barely has to press any further in before he bottoms out. His hand comes back to yours, the fingers that had been gripping his base moving to gently hold the outside of one of your thighs. You’re fuller than you’ve ever been before, and the pain between your thighs is slowly beginning to fade as he keeps himself fully sheathed inside of you. 

“Wait- just stay for a second.” Lukas nods, face caring and solemn as he watches the expressions cross your face. Your brows unfurrow as the sting in your vulva subsides, a low sigh leaving you as your body relaxes into the bed beneath you.

“Okay?” He notices the change in your posture, hand on your thigh rubbing small circles into your soft skin. 

“Fuck, yes. Move… please move Lukas.” Without the pain occupying your mind, you're able to focus on your other senses. He’s so close to you. His body is warm and strong and everything, everything, everything. Your clit is rubbing perfectly on his pubic bone with him fully inside you, your cunt feeling so full you swear you might implode. It’s so good, but you need more, you think you’ll die if something doesn’t change soon.

Luckily, you don’t have to wait long. Lukas nods as he hears your request, softly pulling back until just his tip is left inside you before pushing back in. This time, he brushes that spot in you, the one that makes your vision go white and your toes curl. You moan low in your throat, earning a matching groan from Lukas as you involuntarily clench around his length. His thrusts steady, a gentle rhythm beginning as he starts to really fuck you.

The pleasure in your lower stomach builds as he moves, your hips starting to roll to meet him in time with his thrusts. Each motion grazes your g-spot, sending sparks of satisfaction through your body. He pants over you, deep groans leaving his mouth while he moves. His noises blend with your gasps and moans, filling the room with the sounds of depravity. Your free hand had been grasping at the sheets next to you ineffectually, now you moved it to squeeze one of your breasts, a sort of anchor as your body rocked with the motions of Lukas.

“Can you… harder?” Your sentence partially trails off as you gasp, barely getting out your question before another moan leaves your lips. 

“Harder?” He confirms, strengthening his thrusts as you nod in response. The effect is powerful, his tip now hitting your g-spot with a force that makes your toes curl and voice whimper. You move instinctually, wrapping your legs around his torso, forcing him even deeper into your soaked cunt. Lukas’s hand on your thigh moves to your waist, gripping the skin there harder than he means to as he becomes lost in the change in sensation.

“God, yes. Please don’t stop.” You swear you hear him breathlessly chuckle at your pleading, but you're too lost in your own pleasure to be sure. The unmistakable sounds of skin slapping fills the room, nearly as loud as your noises of pleasure. His cock bullies that sensitive spot inside of you, bringing you closer and closer to your peak. 

“Fuck. You’re so tight for me.” Lukas’s voice is practically a growl as he speaks. You can only nod helplessly to show your understanding, too overwhelmed by sensation, too close to your climax, to muster any words. “All for me- you’re mine. You’re fucking mine.”

His words go straight to your core, a final push that makes you fall from your peak. Hard. It’s more intense than any orgasm you’ve experienced before, the pleasure white hot and blinding. Your thighs shake, back arches, eyes clamp chut, head rolls back. Lukas groans as you clench on his cock, squeezing him so hard his own head lulls back at the sensation. Your climax hits so hard you don’t even moan, just gasp and whine, letting the feeling roll over you in a wave. You aren’t sure how long you're stuck in this trance of pleasure, but when your eyes finally reopen your boyfriend isn’t far behind you.

Lukas’s thrusts have gotten erratic, pace stuttering and strength escalating as he chases his own release. He’s more vocal now, groaning and growling deep in his throat, little murmurs of praise coming from his lips. You can’t help but bite your lip at the sight. It’s not often you get to see Lukas Matsson desperate, there’s something gratifying in being the cause of his frenzy. His head is thrown back, his lips parted and panting, his Adam's apple bobbing with his heavy breaths. The entirety of his body is coated in a thin sheen of sweat, his skin hot and muscle flexing with his efforts. He’s a picture of sexuality, just the sight of him like this making your heat throb with want.

It’s only a few moments after your climax that Lukas finds his. Thrusts faltering, he pushes himself deep into your cunt, cumming inside of you with a loud moan. His spend coats your insides, hot and wet inside of you, a feeling you haven’t experienced before. The sensation causes a quiet mewl to fall from your lips, the sound making him breathlessly chuckling above you. His head falls back forward. You roll your hips against his a bit, his cock beginning to soften inside of you after his heavy release. This draws his attention back to you, a blissful smile on his face as he gazes back up at your face with heavily lidded eyes. He pumps himself inside of you lightly a few times before slowly, so slowly, pulling his cock from your body.

As soon as he’s out, you feel the warm, wet stream of your combined cum leak from your hole. It’s a strange feeling, being empty again after having been stretched so wide. But the discomfort is gone, and you feel blissed out and satisfied and closer to Lukas than ever before. The smile on your face is embarrassingly wide, blush pink on your cheeks as you gaze up at him, the two of you still quiet and catching your breaths. Lukas moves first, gently bending down to place a light kiss on your smiling mouth before speaking.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I feel really good, like, tingly all over.” You giggle, your laughter joined by his own light chuckles. “I didn’t know it could feel like that.”

“Like what?” His eyebrows furrow a bit in question as he moves to stand at the edge of the bed. You follow his movements, sitting up on the mattress with your legs stretched out in front of you. 

“Like… an explosion.” 

“I think you’re cum drunk.”

“Probably.” 

He laughs again at your nonchalant tone, moving to his en suite bathroom to grab a towel for you. You take the moment of calm to raise your arms up, stretching your back and shoulders after laying for so long. You bend your legs, tucking them up against your naked body and resting your head on your knees. Lukas comes back into your view, moving to kneel at the end of the bed, his eyes level with your hips. He grabs onto an ankle, lightly tugging you towards him. You follow his nonverbal request easily, scooting to the edge on the bed with your legs once again open to give him a clear view of your cunt. His fingers move to either side of your slit, spreading your folds, a devious look on his face as he watches his creamy spend drip from your used hole.

“Hell of a creampie…” Lukas’s eyes flick up to yours, a small gasp having left your mouth at his touch to your sensitive vulva. He bites his lower lip then, cursing under his breath while he sits back a bit, shaking his head as he realizes. “Shit, I didn’t even think about protection.”

“Got too caught up in it?” There’s a small smile on your face, the expression calming his nerves. He nods in response. “It’s okay, we can Doordash Plan-B or something. Do you have that in Sweden?”

Lukas chuckles then, moving back with the towel to gently clean between your legs. The rough terrycloth of the towel drags on your sensitive clit, making your hips wriggle a bit in protest. He just smiles at your movements, continuing his work until he’s satisfied. When he moves the fabric away from you, your eyes catch on a red patch marking the white cloth.

“Did I…?” You move your feet to hang off the end of the mattress to aid you in standing just in front of Lukas. When you're comfortably standing on the floor, albeit on slightly shaky legs, you turn the upper half of your body to peer at the sheets behind you. There on the white fabric is a small blooming stain of red blood. It’s not enough to concern you, but it does cause a small blush to come to your face as you back to face Lukas, who is now standing in front of you, hands coming to anchor themselves on your hips. “Oh I messed up your sheets… I didn’t think-”

“Shh, hey it’s okay. It’s just sheets, ’s fine. You’re more important than linens.” One of his hands moves you to rub against your cheek comfortingly. You nod slowly, looking up into his eyes. There’s a gentle look on Lukas’s face, a look you only see when you two are alone. He places a kiss on your lips before speaking again. “You want to head to bed? Get some sleep?”

You pause for a second, moving your hands to trail up the skin of his back before they land on the back of his neck. You press your chest against his, the hand on your cheek moving back to grip the meat of your ass to stabilize you. “Yeah… or we could do it again?”

The rest of your vacation is spent in Lukas’s bed. Well, that’s not entirely true, it’s also spent in his pool, and on his kitchen counter, and on his couch, and against his bedroom wall, and in his tub… You’re convinced he’s trying to get you to stay, but you fly back at the end of the week as scheduled. Despite his very persuasive attempts. 

After Sweden, things get better. It’s like Lukas fucked the fog out of your brain and your back to thinking clearly. You cut back your hours at the office, maintain your work-life balance a bit better, though it’s never great with Waystar. You sleep better at night, usually falling asleep on Facetime with Lukas or reading his text messages. You even schedule some time to get your hair done, a task that your split ends thank you greatly for. You’re functioning the most normally you can given the circumstances. Lukas says maybe your reset switch is in your pussy, you say maybe all the additives and preservatives in American food were finally catching up to you. 

Even your status with your siblings gets better. A month or two after the initial shit show of Caroline’s wedding, Kendall reaches out to apologize to you. He tells you he’s staying sober and says he misses you, wants to see you in person, talk things through. You end up meeting at a cafe in Manhattan. Ken almost immediately tries to convince you to jump ship and join your siblings on their new project. To his credit, he understands when you decline. It’s not long after that meeting that your other siblings reach out. Roman sends a half-assed, jokey apology. Shiv doesn’t say sorry at all. But at least you have your family back.

Both your siblings and your dad are upset that you’re talking to the other side, but you stand firm in your place as a neutral party. Once again, you’re the peace keeper of the Roy family. You can’t get them to speak directly, can only make offhand comments to try and slightly influence their perceptions. It’s not much, but it makes you feel less useless at least. You’re sure your siblings won’t miss Logan’s birthday, so you hold out hope they’ll make up by then. They have a few months so it’s not impossible, stranger things have happened.

In the weeks leading up to your dad’s birthday, you visit Lukas again. You stay with him in Sweden again, this time staying only 3 days instead of a week. It’s the same blissful, honeymoon-esque vacation as your first trip. This time with even more sex, if that’s even possible. Lukas teaches you to give blowjobs, and lets you try any position you want. He’s even caring when he’s fucking you roughly, pulling your hair and swallowing your moans with his mouth. He cleans you up after every session, dries your tears and draws you a hot bath for your sore muscles. Again, he hits a reboot button in you, makes you go back to New York with a stupid grin on your face and your head filled with rainbows.

As good as Lukas makes you feel, he leaves you entirely unprepared for the firestorm that your siblings unleash on your dad’s birthday.

© secondhand-snow 2024

[pocket-watcher]

Hi! I love your blog and your stories. They inspire and make my soul curl up! @ о @ ||| Can you make a story about character A being forced to sing a hypnotic song in order to lure character B, who is the partner of character A, into a trance? Character B try to do everything possible to make A stop singing, but they are not allowed to do so. Thanks <3

Hi anon! :) Thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoy them!!

As for your request, here you go! And please let me know what you think :)

Sirens don’t exist.

That’s what Dylan thought, anyways.

Being a strong swimmer from an early age meant Dylan had heard it all. How he must be some kind of mythical creature to hold his breath that long. How his toes were actually webbed (they weren’t, but if they were it might shave a few seconds off his record), and how he looked more at home in the pool than most people did in their own beds.

That’s probably why he decided to be a lifeguard.

From 7am-6pm Monday-Thursday he spent his time surveying, swimming, teaching, and rarely (but not rarely enough) saving lives at the local pool.

Unfortunately, despite his skills, Casey was still a stronger swimmer than him.

She glided when she was in water, effortlessly twisting her body around and around. She was the only one picking up more shifts than Dylan.

Casey had always eyed Dylan suspiciously, though. She’d actually been the one to make a few of the “merman” comments before, but almost in a way where she seemed like she wasn’t actually… joking?

Weird.

But eventually, Dylan spent more and more time with Casey and became utterly enamoured with her.

Her smile, her laugh, her love of the water. They went to the beach every other week, and she was the only one who listened to his corny marine-puns.

It was perfect.

Until Dylan forgot his wallet at work.

It was around 8pm. The moon was already rising in the sky as he unlocked the door to the locker room.

It’s kinda eerie when it’s all quiet like this, he thought.

But then he heard it.

Someone was singing…?

“…hello…?”

Why would anyone break in here just to sing?

Dylan passed his locker without checking for his wallet, and instead peered around the corner from the changing room.

Sure enough, there sat his girlfriend, Casey.

She sat in the moonlight singing out. Her eyes shone. She didn’t seem to notice him, she was too lost in her song.

I’ve never heard her sing before, Dylan thought. He smiled. She was a beautiful singer.

Dylan felt his eyelids droop slightly. His head began to bob as he struggled to keep it upright. He could feel his arms growing heavy.

His grip on the wall slipped and he stumbled out into the open. Casey stopped in shock.

“D-Dylan? What are you doing here?”

“I was…” Hm. What had he been doing here? It didn’t seem to matter now. All he wanted was for her to start singing again.

Wait. What? No. He was here… to get his wallet. Right?

Casey smiled, but not the sweet caring smile Dylan was used to. It was eager, crazy, almost scary… she covered her face and seemed to return to normal for a moment.

“P-please! You need to get out of here! I… I can’t control myself like this! Please don’t listen!”

Dylan started towards her. What could’ve made her so eager for him to go?

The moonlight poured in and, despite her covering her eyes, she suddenly regained that crazed look in her eyes.

She began to sing again.

Dylan felt as if he’d had the wind knocked out of him.

Don’t listen.

“Uh… Case… could you stop singing for a sec and talk to me…?”

He could feel his vision blurring slightly. His blinks became slow and laboured.

She looked at him with hunger. Her hand limply beckoned him towards her, as if her arm were a puppet’s on a string.

She licked her teeth.

Dylan plugged his ears and stumbled.

“Casey, seriously. This isn’t funny. Let’s go home…”

He didn’t even sound convincing to himself. That thought also told him he hadn’t plugged his ears very well.

Her singing weaselled its way into his ears and burrowed deep into his brain. Dylan felt hims thoughts become dreamlike, passing by too quickly for him to register.

She said not to listen. Sink. Obey. What did she mean by that? Get closer. Go deeper. Why wouldn’t she just talk to me. Drop. Good. It’s like a siren song. Blank. Empty.

“P-please…” Dylan whimpered as his feet dragged his body over to her involuntarily. “Casey.”

She looked at him, full of lust, full of excitement. He couldn’t understand the lyrics but they drowned his own thoughts out completely.

In the moonlight she didn’t just look beautiful. She looked ethereal.

And Dylan wanted nothing more than to stay there, listening to her forever.

Luckily, that was just what she had in mind.

[its-all-papaya]

This is truly devastating (I cheered.)

No but genuinely if you do end up writing parent!landoscar I will be your biggest cheerleader. Like oml I am such a sucker for these fics.

I personally adore the fics where they’re still drivers but one of them has a kid. They’ve always got the best mix of angst and softness. But honestly I adored the little blurb you wrote for the kiss prompts so if you end up going off of that I’m sure I’d love it too!

Dad!Lando is a rare gem and I am SAT for it.

- that one anon who talked about dad!Lando earlier lmao

Dad!Lando Anon !!!! welcome back !!!!

i also in theory enjoy the driver/parent combo. i don't think i could do like... irl landoscar circumstances + kid bc i can't imagine bringing a child into the way they exist rn, but i am attracted to the idea of ONE of them being a driver and the other being, like.... adjacent. i was considering this earlier bc i love my kiss prompt situation, but i don't really have a plot in mind for that landoscar outside of that specific scenario. like how did they meet? what else would i even make them do? i invented them for that exact moment and didn't really construct a world for them in my brain... but like. in theory, that oscar could be an f1 driver. and i did think about that earlier while i was at work, and it's cute for a lot of reasons. (i know i just said i didn't invent lore, but the lando from kiss prompt in my brain is a hot little mess, like loves emma SO GD MUCH that he can't stand it and wants to do right by her but like... is also just a scruffy little guy, you know? so like he for sure struggled through her baby years and she for sure loves him so much, but he's not a put-together parent. she's eating store-bought luchables on field trips bc he doesn't have enough forethought to put together a brown bag lunch. her socks probably never match and he learned how to braid so he could do her hair, but most of the time they're running too late in the morning for him to actually do it. but then oscar enters their lives and he's a bit awkward and says he's not good with kids, but his energy is so calm and he naturally just like. diffuses all their energy. combs through emma's hair after her bath and tells her stories about australia while lando scrambles to make her bed in a second flat bc he forgot he threw her sheets in the wash before dinner and never followed up. discusses her numbers and letters with her while lando microwaves instant oatmeal at like 7am. anyway. you see the vision?) i got really off-track, but imagining oscar as the naturally chill "parent" figure while also being extremely intense and dominant on track...delicious. and the first time emma goes to a grand prix she's like absolutely awestruck. oscar is god to her. and lando is like... literally how the fuck are you perfect at every part of your life and i can't even get my daughter to soccer practice on time once ever? anyway. all of that is to say. osc in his racesuit covered in champagne in mclaren hospitality after the podium and everything that goes with it and emma running top-speed across the floor until he swings her into his arms and she's squealing as he kisses her cheeks because "oscar, you were the fastest!" and lando is just. heart exploding. wants to kiss oscar until he can't fucking breathe anymore.

aNYWAY. visit my inbox again soon dad!lando anon ! like in a minute if you want ! i'll yap for another thousand years !

(sorry editing rq bc i realized i could use a max fewtrell mutual friend plot as their introduction in this hypothetical story. unfortunately Drawing Connections.)

[beatsboy]

8.18.24 / week 8 of being a delusional artist

day 4 of moon time

how did i live like a delusional artist today? maybe in photographing my period stains on my bed maybe in journaling my dream about my ex the minute i woke up at 7am before going right back to bed because i can’t stand to be awake for another moment after having to freshly remember that they’re not here again (these dreams are like waking up to a fresh bandaid being torn off the wound over and over again) maybe in procrastinating, for they say that all artists do this, and while i know this is true, i am struggling to get unstuck and stay unstuck lately. it’s hard to fully break out of the cave, when you’re stuck, when you’re by yourself. sweet pea helps, licking my face (i swear) to remind me to go to the bathroom, to eat, to go outside. all he does is lick my face, so i have to interpret these as signals to get moving. last night, for instance, i was sitting on my computer for far too long, on the couch next to sweet pea. and promptly, as my bladder started to nag at me to go to the bathroom, he started to lick my face, inhibiting me from using my computer.

i’m starting to think he parents me more than i parent him, and i only pretend that it’s the other way around to feel better about my lack of self-sufficiency as a human adult. my fucking goals for tomorrow are to eat 3 meals, first one before 11. like, come on.

i just feel so slow while i’m bleeding, and i know that it will be over soon, but i think part of the reason i need to spiritualize it, to give it meaning, is because it’s just so fucking painful, physically, emotionally, and generally in relation to my gender.

i was supposed to leave the house today, and i did get all ready to do so, another sunday where i put my swim trunks on and waited. this time, it never came time to go, the party wrapped early, and i remained, having spent time getting ready, covered in sunscreen, with nowhere to go. and instead of quickly pivoting to art, which was very possible at that time, i got stuck. i got stuck waiting to go to bri’s to return their keys, for no reason at all, and then got stuck when i got home, and finally unstuck enough to make myself some food at 10pm, do the dishes, change the sheets (i did do some cleaning today, just very slowly, like imagine a slug doing chores, very slowly, and getting caught on corners), and sit here and journal.

i have therapy tomorrow, and tomorrow, i swear to god, i will continue working on music again. i had a good groove of working every day, basically until i finished boypop, which some have suggested i rename (which, yes, maybe, but what?) then, i got out of it, because it is so hard for me for some reason to maintain a consistent practice with my craft while working and socializing fucking still even though i don’t even work a full-time job like that. it’s truly not that i don’t have the time, it’s that i don’t have the energy? the focus? the routine?

healthy habits start small, though, right? i am believing in my future self, that i can make the new dates i’ve set for the release timeline. and i am giving myself these deadlines because i deserve to share my work with the world and i can’t wait any longer. i believe in the artist i want to be, in the artist i will be, because i am building toward it today. i am building my practice. i know i am good at what i do, i know i can do what i need to do to finish this project. i just need to focus and finish.

i’ve never completed an album before (unless you count the collection of phone demos i dropped on soundcloud for the lore) that’s like comparing publishing a fanfic on ao3 to getting your debut novel published, there’s a lot of extra steps that separate the two. it’s all i’ve ever wanted, so why am i waiting? why would i put off becoming the pop star i have dreamt of being since i was a fucking child? i am alone in my own apartment that i pay for with my own fucking money, why am i not spending every second making art in it? this is what i have always wanted for myself, space and time to make art, and i feel like i am wasting it spiraling and cleaning and pinteresting and tumblring and cleaning and looking up if the chemicals in my soap are poisoning me (pretty sure everything is poisoning me at this point)

i want to be fair to myself, i have not been completely idle. i redid the release timeline last night. i made a pitch deck for the next photoshoot the other day. i watched alien, for research (lol, but seriously!) i have been brainstorming the entire vibe/aesthetic/characterization of this persona, trying to mend together what we initially envisioned and what the music video shoot is giving (which are kind of different things but it’s ok)

the thing is, though, these things are part of the art, they are necessary to the art, to communicating the art to the people, to the audience. that does not make them art, though. the job part. the industry part. and sometimes i get so lost in these parts, that i forget that the whole point is to be able to sustain making art for the rest of my life. and none of this bullshit is worth it if i’m not making art. and if i’m not making art, it’s not going to feel like it either.

here is to tomorrow, to getting back to a daily practice, even if it’s in the form of small steps.

[lady-grace-pens]

Vent post incoming!

TLDR: planning can be such a Long Process and mental health can only make the process Worse. Advice or kind words appreciated!

So I’m in a pretty sucky position right now.

I’ve kinda lost interest in fod. I still love it and want to edit it someday but not right now. I finished writing the first draft early Jan this year. I haven’t had a writing project since then.

First three months I was taking a break from fod. It was nice. I needed it. But since then, things have only gotten worse.

I didn’t have a laptop at that time, only a phone. (Yes I wrote all of fod using a phone and a Bluetooth keyboard.) I was not about to edit said story on my phone, so I had to wait a bit longer to get a laptop. That happened last month.

I haven’t had a big project all year, I’ve barely written much in that time either.

Which now that I’m typing it sounds even worse than I already know it is. I’m ashamed, I hate it. Believe me, I hate myself for letting myself get here. Even if my rotten circumstances did play a role.

Thanks to my best friend inspiring me, I’ve gotten a new story idea recently (not sure how long, maybe a month or two ago?) I love it a lot and I’m excited to start writing it!

But the problem is, I don’t have plot.

I have characters and vibes, I have my ending and beginning, I don’t have the middle. The why and how. I’m trying to figure it out! Between Pinterest boards, good days with having it in the back of my mind,even making the characters in the sims. I know so much about this story, yet nothing at the same time!

What really sucks is how my mental health is tied I to all of this. I never thought I would get in a place like this before. It feels horrible. I’m questioning whether I can call myself a writer or not. I’m so so terrified I’ll never get myself out of this block. I’m terrified I’ll never write again. Which is dumb since I rope play with my friend most every day and that’s perfectly fine. Planning is naturally stressful, I know, and I haven’t done this in a while, I’ve just gotten this idea so recently, it all makes sense is he where I am, but it’s so hard.

Especially when I compare myself to my friend, and others like her who I see write fervently every day, have such strong drives and aren’t… struggling like this. It makes me feel stressed out that I’m not doing anything like that when I should be, but I can’t.

On good mental health days I can handle planning better, but I’ve had so many bad days where I’m an anxious mess or feel so rotten I can’t focus on anything else. But I want so badly to have this project, to work out all the kinks so I can start writing again. To feel like I’m a writer again. If I only had that, it would make everything so, so much better.

I don’t know of this makes any sense at all, It’s 7am and I just woke up, but I hope it does. It would be lovely if someone else out there has went through this before and can tell me I can get through this and that it’ll all be okay sooner than I think.

[brattylikestoeat]

Girl, why did it take Donald so long to ask you out (sir you need to not drag your feet) - esp when he knew you had options !

How did you know he was serious about you - taking care of your needs and following through? When was that moment?

Donald meet me in my humble beginnings lol. I was fatter and didn’t know how to dress. Him and Chez were with me in my struggle phase. I didn’t even know I had options at that point. Self esteem was in the gutter tbh.

Actions always speak louder than words. I never asked him for anything in the beginning.

Our first year together was us just finding our roles. At this point we never verbalize anything, no roles no exceptions. He gave me flowers one day, I was like wow thanks I never got flowers before. So now I get them weekly.

Our second year together things got tough. I went from going to a community college to transferring to state uni almost an hour away. I started working at my current company in a different role. I worked 11pm to 7am, then went to school from 9am to 1pm. This is important because I really was busy and Donald was at the bottom of the list. I wasn’t attracted to him, he wasn’t spending a lot of money. Plus I had meet gator at this point and he was everything. Fine and spending money so he was at the tip of the list. Chez at this point was locked up and he not getting until I’m in my late 40s.

So Donald offered to help in any way that got him more access to my free time. If that ment taking my car to get serviced while I was in class great. If it ment driving across town just to bring me lunch, sure.

It was a gradual process, the more I trusted him to do, the more he showed up.

With some men it’s a gradual process. Donald doesn’t want to feel like a sugar daddy. He wants to feel like he a part of my life and the money is just a bonus. He wanted to feel needed.

Gator/Chez were big tricks. They didn’t care if people knew that they payed for everything. They actually liked it. It made them feel better, more like a man.

Ted is in the middle, he wants to be a man that takes care of everything. But he isn’t doing to be flashy, he doing cuz it makes him happy to see his woman happy.

[bcofl0ve]

let me lay this out in a way that hopefully seems respectful, and brings clarity to the issue. People get agitated with you I think because you were an Austin fan, and it has shifted to Kaia. And I think that’s where a lot of the frustration for Kaia comes in. You said before you would talk more about Austin when he had things come up, but even when Bikeriders trailer came out, that didn’t seem to happen. (Understandably, you’re busy with school.) But you still talk more about Kaia. That is very much your right, and you get to talk about what you want. And if you’re more interested in Kaia now, that’s ok, but I think it should be said, so people know. I think Austin fans maybe feel like you don’t like him that much anymore. To be honest it makes me sad, because Austin had to work so hard to get where he is and he still at every moment has to “prove” himself to everyone. Even after winning awards and getting an Oscar nom. Kaia had everything in life and never had to work for it. Plus all the connections in the world. Not her fault, but it’s true. Between the two, I feel Austin needs more support and encouragement. People in Hollywood love Kaia. She doesn’t need help making friends. She has a million. Austin doesn’t get much love and he doesn’t have a lot of friends. We need to be real here. Between the two, he has more talent in acting than she does. Yet people still don’t think he’s talented because they just don’t like him. She said one line and everyone loves her. So I just wish we could promote and love Austin more.

2.) when it comes to the book, I’m fairly certain that is a book Austin has mentioned in a podcast before. I am trying to find out what it was. So it must be a book he has, and she read it because it’s at their house. I think it just grates on people if Kaia talks about something as if she has experience with it, when her boyfriend very much does. And it’s a very tough subject. It is true that she can talk about whatever subject she wants. I don’t really know why she would want to touch in that subject when the person she is living with had to experience it. But that’s in her, and I’m sure she knows if it would bother him or not.

but she didn’t talk about it. she posted a photo of the book. without a caption. and hell maybe she wants to “touch it” because she wants to understand it more now that her long term partner struggles with it?? i don’t want to be rude because you’re coming in peace but i genuinely can’t wrap my head around viewing the story she posted, or her hypothetically doing a book club on it, negatively. using it at all to criticize kaia requires making invasive assumptions that aren’t our place about how austin feels about his trauma and his boundaries and i just. can’t sorry. if it’s grating on people they need to reevaluate their parasocial relationship with austin, because it point blank shouldn’t. all that said if it was referenced in a podcast by him please do link me, i’d like to listen!

to your first point, i’m sorry but if it idk helps it has nothing to do with me liking one of them ‘more’ and everything to do with me starting law school. kaia is ‘easier’ to post about bc i can just post modeling photos/bottoms still and dip. with austin i want to *talk* about things, interviews, bikeriders etc but i unfortunately at the moment don’t have the time i wish i had for that. law school is essentially a full time job and have my days scheduled out hour by hour 7am-midnight every day including weekends. after midterms next week i can mellow out for a week or two and will be on more than i have been. but i’m very honestly tired of having to ‘prove’ my love for austin. if i have to meet a quota of posts about him to prove my fanship than yeah i guess i’m a shitty fan. i love him so dearly i’ll start crying if i think about how much i love him for too long. he means the absolute world to me and i adore him. and atp if people chose not to believe me i don’t have it in me to spend energy trying to grovel for approval when i’m busy enough.

and i do think austin has friends. by nature guys in their 30s don’t really post with their friends the way girls in their early 20s do, so we just don’t see ‘content’ of them as much.

i hope you know that any snarkiness here isn’t directed so much at you personally. it’s directed at the topics brought as a whole. all love. and i do genuinely appreciate the civility. <3

[life-with-my-three]

Lucy ended up in hospital a week ago. I’m still trying to process it. It seems these days I spend a lot of time trying to work out whether my feelings given a situation are “normal” and I have reason to feel how I do, or whether they’re a reaction to past trauma and I shouldn’t bring frustrations up to others.

The kids had all had a bit of a cold. Lucy had seemed to be on the tail-end. We left home at 7am for a 9:30 gastro appointment of Hattie’s in Melbourne. Lucy came with us. 2.5 hours of driving and we were still late. In the waiting room we gave Lucy a feed. It seemed to really exaggerate her effort to breathe, and make it a heap noisier. It was so noisy that Hattie’s gastro consultant told us to not go home straight away and to hang around the hospital for an hour or so and if it didn’t improve to go to emergency.

We hung around. Once the feed digested a little and wasn’t pushing so much on her lungs she improved a bit so we drove home. We had to drive straight to pick up Fletcher as he had a primary school transition afternoon. We took him to that, then went home. Hattie lost her special reward toy that she got for letting the doctor poke at her stomach (positive rewards for past medical trauma), somewhere between the kinder and home. We couldn’t find it anywhere. So I dropped all the kids at home with Aaron (he was home by this point). Went searching all the shops in the hope I could find another, miraculously did. Got home and Lucy had just had another feed and her breathing was bad again.

At this point I decided I’d take her to the local urgent care clinic in the hopes of avoiding emergency. Got to urgent care. They took her straight in. Stripped her down and looked at her breathing and decided she was really sick and needed the hospital. With how her breathing was they weren’t confident in me driving with her the 2 blocks so they called an ambulance. Her sats were lower 80s. Her feet were purple/mottled. As we were waiting for the ambulance (not long at all) there was a shift change. The new doctor agreed she needed the hospital asap and it to be an ambulance situation. The words “very sick” were used multiple times. They started putting numbing cream and stuff on her so that emergency could work on her asap.

We got to emergency. She was stick sucking her ribs and trachea right in. She had improved to her sats in the 90s though she was having to work hard for that. The paeds doctor came in and declared she was fine. Went to send us straight home. I mentioned about her sats being low at urgent care, to which they said oh I guess we should admit you for the night then. I was just going to send you home for the night. She’s giving everyone smiles, she’s just a happy puffer.

The night before Hattie came home from NICU, I brought up with the same paeds department that when feeding her she was stopping breathing and going blue. I was treated like I was just overly anxious, so accepted I’d seen her stop breathing so many times I probably was just anxious. Over the next 6 weeks she did it multiple times with feeds. I’d take her to emergency and we’d be told she was just a “happy puffer”. It didn’t matter how many times I tried to get her help, I was always given that same line. My kids struggle to breathe but still smile apparently! It wasn’t until I cracked it and drove to Melbourne demanding help did the Melbourne paeds look at her. We found out her milk was going into her lungs and we went to the feeding tube! It was only 6 months ago now that her Melb respiratory consultant told me in an appointment that she will never forget that first time she saw Hatt and how much she was struggling to breathe. The exact same breathing that local paeds just shrug off:

Anyway, Lucy seemed a lot better by the next morning, so I didn’t go all mumma bear on them like I was planning. I mean the doctors didn’t even see her. The nurse just came in and said if you’re happy the doctors are happy for Lucy to be discharged.

I’ve spent the week going over it in my head though. Am I so frustrated and annoyed at the doctors’ at local paeds because it’s bringing back up the trauma of Hattie’s experience? Or do I have every right to be so completely annoyed at them? Melb we’re concerned enough to tell us to go to emergency to a baby they didn’t even look at, was in the pram across the room, and not their patient. Two separate shifts of doctors/nurses at urgent care were extremely worried about her.

I don’t know. Lucy’s completely fine now. Back to her normal self. But far out, our local paeds department has requested two consecutive years to use Hattie’s story for the junior paediatric doctor exams to improve management of respiratory issues, then this shit happens!

[sometimesrosy]

Hello! How are you? I have a somewhat different/maybe difficult question. I always had a group of friends when younger, but going into university that friend group kind of fell apart as we all moved to different places, and coming back we all have ours lives and some aren’t even here. During university, and in a big city, although I got along with many people, I got used to do things by myself if I wanted to do them. I even had depression (more than one factor, but I think the lack of connections had a role here) and still forced myself to leave the house and go cry at the mall or the movies. Once I came back to my hometown, I was already dating a friend from there, and then with the work field I was in and covid, I didn’t really get to develop a relationship with anyone else. Now, at work, I have colleagues I consider friends, but we rarely get together outside of work because most already have kids and live in the surrounding towns. This, to say that, I am pretty content with my partner, who accompanies me on most of the things that I want to do, and with my mom, who goes out for a coffee with me almost everyday, for example. BUT I feel like I don’t know how to do things by myself anymore. I feel like if there’s a movie or TV show I want to watch, I want to watch and share it with my partner. If he doesn’t want to watch it at the time, I get in a limbo not knowing what to do at that time. We’re both big into computers and video games, and we share an office, but I feel like I allow myself to get stalled mentally and end up doing nothing, and if I was alone, I would have been doing something for hours. This is a small town, so it’s harder for me to get hobbies outside the house. Physical activities are group classes at 7AM or 7PM, but I work most of the weeks on that later schedule, and the 7AM class would completely ruin my sleep pattern. Then you have yoga and pilates, mostly at those hours too, because it’s a small town so people aren’t available at other hours. I can’t find a languages class that isn’t online or basically private, which has super high prices. We don’t have a book club. We don’t have a music school that isn’t private and with individual classes. Everything is either at inconvenient hours for me due to my job (not complaining, just explaining) or super expensive because it would just be me or at least one more person. I feel like I’m dwelling too much thinking about my life and lack of friends, lack of money, etc, because I kind of have too much free time that I don’t know how to occupy anymore. I could spend an entire day doing absolutely nothing, just scrolling social media or something, because I don’t get myself to do anything at home. Then, when I want to do something and actually have no time because of work, I complain I don’t have time to do anything. I never thought I’d have a lack of hobbies, but here we are.

It's not that you don't know how to do things alone, it's that you've gotten out of the habit.

You've forgotten how to be your own company.

As a problem, it's actually a good one to have, because you are entirely capable of fixing it. Because it's about you. And who you need to check with to do it is... you. And who you need to consider before pushing is...YOU. It' makes everything more simple.

I understand that you're looking for social activities you can do and you are blocked because of money/time. Totally understandable. And I see your struggle. One thing you can do is look for an event outside of your town. The next town over? Even a nearby city. You can make a day of it. But that's for events or classes. Just look around and see something that fits your schedule even if you have to drive to get there. My town is also tiny and not active at all unless you're churchy. But somehow I joined an art collective. And I used to go to the poetry club. And I know there are are book clubs at the library but I haven't joined. And there's a comic book store and I'm pretty sure they have D&D sometimes. The point is look around again for activities and expand your search. Maybe you just haven't found it yet.

OTHERWISE. My suggestion for you is to start dating yourself.

Seriously. Take yourself out for dates. Figure out an activity you'd like to do and then set up an itinerary and do it. You want to see that movie no one else wants to watch? Set a date with yourself to make it to opening night.

Take a book that you've been dying to read to your favorite cafe and sit there and read your book and have the best coffees and treats and maybe buy yourself a fancy bookmark.

Want to do yoga? Set up your ipad with a good video and take it out side to a park or beach or yard and do it outside with a green smoothie as a treat afterwards.

Start your own book club. Ask at the library to put up a notice, or on community boards. Maybe the library has a room you can use to meet.

I used to wander the city with my journal, looking for cafes, where I'd sit and write and sketch.

Or hey. You know what's cool? Going out on a date with yourself to take photographs. Go to a place you always thought was interesting, and just walk around and take note of things. Take photos. Then collect your favorites and post them on tumblr or instagram or wherever.

You're stuck right now, but that doesn't mean you will always be stuck. Don't beat yourself up for being in between hobbies. You'll figure it out.

[bike42]

Tuesday September 5th

Up before 7am as breakfast was going to be served at 7:45am as Patricia’s “help,” her young neighbor boy was back in school. We had a more decent sized “Irish Breakfast,” with very yummy bacon.

Jeff is more congested and heading towards a full-on cold, so I was trying to get him to drink the echinacea tea I’d brought. We didn’t unpack much, but it was still a bit of a struggle zipping up the cases. Looking forward to three nights for the next stop so we can have more relaxed mornings.

It was a pretty decent night for a B&B. It was quiet, and the bed was comfortable but my pillow was like a cement bag. About midnight, I took off the pillow case and stuffed my puffy jacket inside - worked much better!

We waited for the bus to pick us up, and it did about 9:30am. We met our guide, Peter Crann, and driver Fionan Cronin. James and Kort were also on the bus and came out to greet us.

Then we were on the motorway heading northwest towards County Sligo.

After about an hour, we stopped at Coole Park. It is a beautiful park setting that had once been the grounds of a large manor, where many of the famous writers of Irish decent had hung out (there was a large old Tess that they’d all signed). We formed a circle and M&M performed their song “Sacred Ground,” which gave me goose bumps being in such a cool place in Ireland with this small group - what a great 10 days it’ll be! We did more in-depth introductions … some a little too rambly! It was good to hear more about our guide Peter’s background. Besides tour guide, he’s also a musician, primarily a drummer. He has guided many times with M&M and they seemed to have good chemistry which is really cool. Our driver, Fionan, has been driving for 16 years and has driven with M&M many times as well. His family owns the bus company. One couple, Janette and Gary, had just arrived this morning, and another couple, Glenn and Anne, had done the medieval buffet dinner at the Folk Park last night, so we just met them today.

We drove another hour or so, with Peter talking now and then about this history of Irish (Gaelic) language and some sites along the way. The scenery was very lush - green fields with cattle and sheep grazing, fences made of rock piles or hedges. We went through many small villages that actually remind me of rural Germany. Many houses looked a lot like the one I’d lived in when we lived in Kindsbach!

We stopped in Claremorris for 90 minutes on our own for lunch. Jeff and I went to a pharmacy where we bought Sudafed, nighttime cough syrup and a few COVID tests just to be sure. With Bill, we checked out a few pubs but didn’t find one that served food. We sat outside at a coffee shop where they had sandwiches and I had an amazing salad. Just as we got our food, Wayne and Sue came out of the pub across the street. They put in a quick order and we had lunch together, then went back across the street for a quick pint before heading back to the bus. The guys in the pub were a lot of fun, and seemed to enjoy having visitors to chat with.

We drove another 10 minutes for a quick stop in the village of Knock in County Mayo. In the 1870’s there was an apparition here that supposedly lasted for two hours and was witnessed by a variety of people. You hear of those now and then, but I’d never heard of building a shrine and massive development on the spot, but that’s what Knock is all about! The grounds were beautiful and it was an interesting spot. I’m open to believing it happened.

Another hour drive, through what felt like dozens of roundabouts (backwards to me). I’m not one to get car sick, but those get to you after awhile when you’re in the back of a bus!

We checked into the Sligo Park Hotel for three nights - nice spacious room. Queen bed to sleep in, and a twin bed on either side for our “stuff!” We had a couple hours to unpack and rest, and then gathered at 6:30pm for group dinner and music.

Dinner was nice, but I guess I was surprised to be having another nice dinner when I expected to be in a pub! We sat with Christa and Terry - retired music teachers from Grand Island, Nebraska. It’s their fourth trip to Ireland, their second with M&M.

We weren’t quite sure how our “special music” was going to happen, but after dinner they told us to go next door to a conference room in the hotel. There we met Cathy Jordan and Rick Epping. They were awaiting the third member of their group, “The Unwanted,” but eventually just started without him. Rick played the harmonica, the concertina (amazing tiny accordion-like thing) and the mouth harp. Cathie sang (incredible voice) and played the bodhran and a tenor guitar. They played a few songs and eventually the door burst open and their third member, Seamie O’Dowd, burst in and unpacked his guitar and fiddle and jumped right in mid-song. They played for over an hour and it was magical.

Jeff had gone back to the room to get our bottle of Jameson Crested, which we shared with Bill, Peter, M&M and a few others … drank half of it, but it was so right listening to Irish music drinking Irish whiskey! The night was like an out of body experience for me - the music just carried me away. M&M played one of their songs, and joined the trio on their last song (as did Peter on the bouhran). Fantastic night to end the first day of our trip.

Hoping JT gets a good nights sleep and feels better tomorrow!

More about The Unwanted:

https://compassrecords.com/artist/the-unwanted/#:~:text=The%20Unwanted%20is%20a%20group,that%20encircle%20the%20Atlantic%20Ocean

More about a cool project Peter and Cathy are working on https://www.crankieisland.com/

[sammygvfslut]

i like you a latte | s. kiszka

Summary: Words cannot espresso how much you mean to Sammy Kiszka.

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Hey besties!!! this is my first ever sam fic, and i really hope you guys enjoy it! it’s super cheesy so beware of some tooth-rotting fluff ahead. any and all feedback is appreciated <3

Loud chattering and the sounds of espresso machines hissing and whistling filled the cafe. Every few seconds or so when a new customer walked in, a soft ringing above the door rang. Glancing at the clock, you sighed as it read 7am. Way too early for your liking. You wished to be back in bed under the covers with your cat Joey snuggling. Plus, the cold weather made it even harder for you to get out of bed every morning. Damn you, winter.

“Good morning.” A voice said suddenly, startling you as you slightly jumped. “Whoops, didn’t mean to scare you there for a sec.”

Turning around at the voice, your heart fluttered and a smile pulled at the corners of your lips. “G-Good morning, Sam! Nope, didn’t scare me at all. I was just uh...focusing very hard and you caught me off guard.”

A chuckle rumbled from his chest, his own lips curving and flashing that beautiful grin. God, he made you melt. You took a quick chance to admire his appearance for the day, luscious brown locks pulled back into a low bun with a few stray pieces framing his face, and he wore a slightly oversized brown grandpa looking sweater. He exuded true fall energy today and all you wanted to do was snuggle with him watching a movie while sipping on hot chocolate. “Right. Focusing on what exactly? Staring at the register?”  

“S-Sure. Yes, the register.” Totally not him instead. “Um, I realized it turned off right now and my mind blanked to turn it back on.”

Sam placed a hand on your shoulder as he laughed, his touch leaving a wave of goosebumps to rise out of your skin. “You’re so cute. I’ll leave you to that then, but if you need help trying to get the register to turn back on again, let me know.” And with that, he sent you a wink and turned on his heel away to start on the customers orders.

Alright, alright. So maybe early shifts weren’t as bad as you thought thanks to your insanely charming co-worker. Sam and you had been working together for the past year, and almost instantly you started falling for him. He welcomed you with open arms and he was a great help when it came to your training. Your co-workers were nice too, but Sam took that extra step in making sure you were comfortable with what you were doing. If you made a mistake and were freaking out about it, he somehow knew the way to calm you down. He was too precious and good for this cruel world. And most of all, out of your league too.

With his dashing looks and amazing personality, you just knew there was no way he’d ever feel the same about you. Except, any time you’d voice that thought to any of your friends at work, they’d tell you you’re crazy and that he likes you too. Apparently they caught on to the signs more than you did, which wasn’t a shocker considering that you’d have no clue if a guy was interested in you unless he blatantly confessed. So, trying to figure out hints was completely pointless for you.

“Uh oh, she’s deep in thought,” one of your friends/co-workers, Danny, teased. He also happened to be Sam’s best friend, and current band mate since the pair are in a band with Sam’s older twin brothers. “I bet I can guess what, or who you were thinking about.”

“Don’t even say it,” you warned with a finger, “He’s literally four feet away from us—”

“So?” Danny rolled her eyes with his arms folded. “Why don’t you just tell him how you feel? Come on, it’s been almost a year now. What’s the worst that can happen if you confess?”

“He can hear me.” You stared blankly at him, shaking your head. “Absolutely not though, Danny. I will not embarrass myself from the humiliation I’d have to face from his rejection.”

Danny groaned frustratedly, placing his hands on both your shoulders and shaking them. “You’re so hopeless! Y/N, how many times do the guys and I have to tell you he likes you too!” He raised his voice a little louder than necessary which accidentally caught the attention of almost everyone in the cafe. Sam included unfortunately. Danny’s eyes widened, silently cursing under his breath. “Carry on, everyone.”

As much as you hated to admit it, Danny wasn’t lying when he mentioned about the guys agreeing that Sam likes you too. Every time you came over Josh’s apartment and Sam was there he’d find any little excuse to have his arm around you or teasing you constantly. You’d shake it off that he was just treating you like a friend would, but of course the guys would disagree with you.

“We’ll finish this conversation later,” Danny told you sternly, “But for now, and don’t make it obvious, but Sam’s looking at you.” A mischievous grin spread across his face as he winked and stepped to the next register before greeting a new customer and taking their order.

Heart pounding out of your chest, you slowly looked over your shoulder in Sam’s direction. You saw his head quickly turn and finish off the drink in front of him. Your cheeks burned at this and tried taking deep, slow breaths to calm yourself down. Didn’t work much, but as a new customer waved and told you their order, your breathing turned back to normal.

On the other end of the counter, Sam was currently freaking the hell out from what he heard a few minutes ago between you and Danny. He didn’t mean to, but he also wasn’t that far from either of you. Plus, Danny wasn’t the best at keeping his voice low. He had a strong feeling he knew you were talking about him, and for that reason alone he overflowed the cup he was pouring into and made a mess. He cursed under his breath and wiped his hands on his apron, shaking his head.

You caught sight of this and rushed to his side, grabbing a cloth from under the sink and started wiping the sticky counter. Sam was certain his cheeks were tomato red from his embarrassment, making a complete fool of himself for not paying attention to what he was doing. More so focusing on your conversation and your damn smile from earlier. You weren’t the only one here with a crush.

“T-Thanks, Y/N.” Sam chuckled nervously, throwing the cup in the trash and tossing the drink pitcher he held in the sink. “I’m normally not this much of a dumbass.”

“I’m not too sure about that one, Kiszka.” You teased lightly with a grin. “It happens, don’t worry,” you assured. “I’m just glad it was cold tea you spilled and not steaming coffee. I’d hate for you to get a third degree burn. That happened to me once, don’t recommend it.”

“Didn’t I drive you to the hospital for that?” he asked. “I think that might’ve happened a few months ago.”

Your eyes widened at the memory. “Oh shit, you’re right. God, I’m still so sorry I had to drag you into that.”

Sam shook his head, lips curving and cheeks no longer flushed. “For the hundredth time, stop apologizing about that, Y/N. You know you can count on me for anything, so of course I didn’t mind driving you to the hospital. I remember even blasting some ABBA on the way over there so you’d have something else to focus on instead of the pain you endured.”

You smiled at the memory. “Didn’t we also go out for ice cream afterwards?”

He nodded, lightly rubbing his arm. “Yeah, it was a lot of fun. I mean, I always have fun when I’m with you.”

Your breath caught in your throat at his last few words, blinking slowly. “O-Oh.”

Oh? That’s all you have to say? Nice one, Y/N.

Sam’s heart dropped. Fuck. Maybe you weren’t talking about him after all. Maybe it was Danny or one of his brothers that you had a crush on and he was mistaken about it. He wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow him whole right about now. Being anywhere but here sounded splendid to him.

“Y-Y/N, I—“

“Ihavefunwhenimwithyoutoo,” you muttered all too quickly, and poor Sam barely even understood what you said. He didn’t have the chance to ask you to repeat yourself because you quickly walked away to the back and he was left with a tug at his chest, frowning.

Within the next few days after Sam’s tea spill, literally, things between you and him became...awkward. Something went off in him to become even more clumsy than normal and forget everything he’s ever known when you’re near him. He’d get flustered, stuttering a lot, messing up orders, dropping dishes, and nearly tripping all the time. He hated it so much and wished he could just muster up the courage and apologize for being such an idiot and confess his feelings to you. Even during your hangouts with the guys, Sam and you wouldn’t interact as much and honestly you were well aware you were being super childish and immature about the situation. Sam did too, and he needed to snap the fuck out of it.

The next few days at work Sam would ignore Danny’s little side comments about his immaturity and continued working in silence. For the rest of his shift he didn’t talk much to anyone other than the customers. He wanted to talk to you when he had the chance, but then he’d quickly back out and walk the opposite direction.

He couldn’t figure out why it was so futile for him to just grow a sack and tell you he likes you. He’d never gone through this struggle before. Then again, as cheesy as it sounded, the other girls he’d asked out in the past couldn’t compare to you. Never in a million years, and maybe he was too afraid that he didn’t deserve someone as amazing as you.

Nearing closing that same day, it was only you, Sam, and Danny. The flow of customers died down and not many people came in towards the end of the night which you were grateful for. It finally gave you the chance to relax a bit and start cleaning things up ahead of time so you wouldn’t have to stay after. Joey and a nice warm bath were waiting for you at home.

While Sam decided on working the register and you and Danny would clean, he grabbed your arm and led you into the back.

“What are you two still doing not dating each other or talking?! It’s been way too long now, Y/N. And since it’s only us three tonight, you have no other choice. Come on, I know you can’t take this any longer, and he can’t either. I can take over the register for a bit while you and him talk.”

You chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating his offering. As incredibly thankful as you were for his help, you were also scared shitless of the possible outcome. Perhaps it was finally time though that you say fuck it and say what you needed to. You couldn’t go on for any longer to keep your feelings bottled up inside. Maybe, just maybe he might feel the same way, and by God you hoped that would be the case.

Inhaling, you nodded slowly and made your way back to where you were. Your eyes searched for Sam and saw he was busy making a drink, except there was no one else here besides you, him and Danny. It could’ve been a drink for him, so you shrugged this off and went towards the sink to start washing the dishes.

A few moments later, Sam cleared his throat from behind you. “H-Hey Y/N, so um, I know the créme brûlée latte is your favorite, and I thought I’d make you one. You seemed really stressed and busy today and I wanted to try to cheer you up. I hope that’s okay.”

Your heart swelled at his generosity and your cheeks burned as you felt his gaze burning into you, his palms soaking from nervousness. “Sam, you didn’t have to do that for me.”

He shrugged casually, a small smile on his lips and his cheeks tinted a light pink. “It’s okay, I wanted to. And I uh, tried my best on the art. Hope you like it.”

Raising a brow, your gaze dropped on your cup and your eyes widened as you saw what he was referring to. A small coffee cup with the words I like you a latte around it.

“It’s true,” Sam chewed on his bottom lip while running his fingers through his hair. “I really like you Y/N, and I’m so sorry for acting like such an idiot these last few days around you. I don’t know what came over me, and I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you much either.”

Setting your cup on the counter, you took a step closer to him and cupped his cheek, rubbing your thumb softly against his soft skin. “You don’t have to apologize for anything, Sam. I’m sorry for not talking to you too, as well as for making a fool of myself. I tend to do that around someone I like.”

Finally, the realization dawned on Sam as a wide grin pulled at his lips. “Glad we’re on the same boat.”

“I-Is it alright if I kiss you?” he asked shyly, his eyes sparkling as he looked at you.

You giggled. “You don’t even have to ask, loverboy.” You playfully rolled your eyes and cupped his other cheek before connecting his lips with yours.

A smirk pulled at Danny’s lips as he glanced at the two of you, shaking his head. Josh and Jake owed him $20 now. 

It was about damn time that Sam and you finally espresso’d your love for each other. 

tagging these lovely folks bc they helped inspired me and their work is amazing <3 @godlygreta​ / @flowervanfleet​ / @dharma-divine​

[xenospacebabe]

Broken Wings

Hawks drabble

A/N: So I imagine for some reason that regular doctors and surgeons are capable of treating Hawks to a fault. But when it comes to his wings, they’re a bit...lost?

Summary: After coping with treating injuries to his wings by himself, Hawks finds himself with a more serious injury than he can handle. He can’t open his wings, or fly. The pain is mind numbing. He finds himself breaking into an animal clinic for some help.

Warning: Broken bones. Mild language

HawksxReader

7am. The doors don’t open until 8:30, but you still had things to do from yesterday that weren’t even started. Clutching your steel tumblr full of coffee that’ll barely scratch the surface of your exhaustion, you stifled a yawn and crawled out of your car. Barely remembering to lock it. You always parked on the side of the building so as not to take up any spaces in front. The key missed the lock a few times before eventually sliding inside and turning to the side.

The moment you turned on the lights, a couple of dogs in the back already started barking, hungry for breakfast and ready to go home. Your veterinary clinic was modest in size, but it was always busy. It was your father’s practice before he retired and passed it down to you after finishing school. Now it was all yours. It was hard work, but your clients were loyal. Many of them have been around since the place opened almost 30 years ago. You were the vet that people would recommend to their friends who needed help and had struggles affording it. Your clinic was the one that everyone knew cared the most about patients rather than money. And it showed. While your profits were great, it wasn’t what you were concerned the most about.

After setting down your things in your office, you tied back your hair into a high ponytail and took a long drink of your “breakfast.” You looked at the white board on your wall, deciding which surgery from yesterday to start on first. Picking the cat spay, you headed towards the back to get started. Passing surgery and into the kennels, you found your patient and greeted her with a sweet voice and scratches on her cheeks.

“Good morning, Sadie. You ready, sweet girl? C’mon.” The cat whined tiredly as you scooped her into your arms to bring into the surgical room. But when you lifted your head and looked inside you screamed. Unfortunately, this spooked your cat and she bolted out of your arms to hide under the kennels.

“AH SHIT! Sadie! Sadie c’mere girl! Who are you?!” There sitting on your operating counter was a man. A shirtless man with enormous wings that nearly filled the small room. He was covered in decently serious lacerations and wounds that made the surface of his skin look like a blue, black, green, and purple water color canvas. He looked terrible with deep bags under his eyes. However, he looked at you through messy strands of hair that hung in his face with a tired but smug expression.

“Really? You don’t know who I am?” He said, his voice croaking out with a subtle groan of pain. Your eyes shifted from his, those golden pools that shined like the sun, to the massive crimson wings. They, too, looked to be in disarray. Feathers stuck out in random places, others crumpled, many painted in blood. However his left hung in a slightly abnormal manner.

“I’m sorry. You shocked me all of a sudden. You’re Hawks right? What are you doing here? How did you even get in? The doors were all locked.” As you finished your statement, a single red feather lifted in mid air and hovered, showing you its bent up quill. He picked the lock with the feather and locked it behind him.

“Sorry. I just-..mmgghh...I think it’s broken. And the clowns at the city hospital the commission would send me to aren’t capable of fixing it. I found you online, you do exotics, right? Birds and stuff?”

All the while he was explaining his situation, you were assessing his condition. The area that connected the wing to his back appeared incredibly swollen, and slightly out of place. Without thinking, you reached out to palpate the area causing him to immediately flinch and groan out loud.

“Sorry! Sorry. I’m used to my patients being-...well animals. But yes, I’m a small animal and exotics vet. There’s a couple birds I’ve been treating for a long time.” Now this time, as you were talking, Hawks had his eyes trained on you. He was listening to every word you spoke intently. “Some of them were my dad’s patients before he retired. Shows how old they can get.”

Hawks braced the cold steel of the table, crouching forward some. His skin seemed damp with sweat, the pain he was in must have been affecting his body temperature. You needed to act quickly if you were going to save his wing.

“Okay, so. I have to touch it. I need to get a couple xrays to see if we have any breaks and we’ll go from there. I don’t....all I have are sedatives for animals. Would that..?”

“It’s fine, ain’t no pain out there that I can’t handle.” He looked at you with a charming smirk, clearly flexing his pain threshold to impress you. Because he looked you up and down and liked what he saw. Even in those scrubs which were relatively form fitting but patterened in cartoon cats and dogs.

“I’m serious. This is really going to hurt. Are you-“

“I said I can handle it.” Hawks snapped, frustrated with the questions now. He just wanted the pain to stop. And besides, that cute look on your blushing face was too good to miss.

“Alright...well...first you need to help me find my cat that you scared off.”

“You mean this one?” Appearing in front of you held under the arms and the butt by a trio of feathers was your very angry, very sleepy cat. You sighed in relief and retrieved her into your arms. It took some settling to calm her down but you were a natural with all animals. It came so easily. She was comfortable in her kennel when you set her back inside and you felt your brain shift gears.

You first had to get your hands on the wing. Just to get a feel of what you were working with. You’d never seen such beautiful, red feathers before. Even though you saw parrots and other birds daily. These were just...breathtaking. But even the most beautiful wings didn’t stop the pain of broken bones. Hawks groaned behind tight lips when you gently palpated the swollen wing. Inside you felt the distinct break and slight crunchiness that accompanied it. The growling in his throat didn’t frighten you, after all, you dealt with aggressive animals day in and day out.

“Y-you almost finished there, Doc? Agghh...” He finally outwardly complained when you flexed his wing. Your hands were gentle but it was still nearly unbearable. Slowly and carefully, you folded his wing back down into its natural resting position.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I know it hurts. But thank you for holding still. Alright. Let’s do some xrays.”

After some struggling and repositioning, and many awkward brushes of hands and faces, you and Hawks were successful in taking some clear shots of what you determined was a broken wing. You didn’t notice his eyes on you as you explained it to him. The room was dark, illuminated only by the backlight box that made it possible to see the xray photos. But he was studying your face quite intently.

The space between your eyebrows crinkled a little when you would point to a specific spot on the xray in concentration. When you were quiet in thought, your tongue pressed against your cheek or you nibbled your bottom lip. The slope of your nose was accentuated by the pale shine of the light box to make it look like you had a cute button nose. Everything you were saying filled his ears but didn’t register as anything coherent. Eventually, you noticed.

“Hawks? Are you okay? Are you in pain?” Your voice brought him out of the trance he’d slipped into and he blinked rapidly to soothe his eyes. He hadn’t blinked once.

“Oh! Uh-...aheh...I’m fine. And please...call me Keigo.”

“Keigo?”

“Yeah, that’s my real name. Hawks is just my hero name. I can trust you, yeah?” He looked down at you with those eyes that you swore were glowing and swallowed harshly. Suddenly your throat was dry.

“R-right! I knew that. Keigo...so...like I said. The break is pretty clean. Luckily there’s no fragments or splinters that would make a problem.”

“So what can you do to fix me?” He lied, though, about being in pain. Broken bones were painful enough. But a broken bone that carried the heavy weight of his wing was absolutely agonizing. However, years of working as a pro hero conditioned him into hiding his pain from his enemies.

“Well, there isn’t a lot we can do. Other than immobilize the wing so the bone can heal back together.”

That got his attention.

“Immobilize? You mean I can’t-“

“Fly. Yeah. Not forever, but for a while. You’d have to come back every now and then for xrays so I can see how the healing is progressing. Given the size, I’d imagine...6 weeks?”

6 weeks? Of no flying? Hawks hadn’t spent that long out of the sky in so long that he wasn’t sure he remembered what it felt like to walk anywhere. You could see the panic in his eyes, beads of sweat formed on his neck and forehead. So you reached out and placed your hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him. He froze, not sure of what to do.

“Sorry! Sorry.” You quickly withdrew your hand. “That’s a habit. I always try to comfort the parents of my patients when they get difficult news.”

“No no, it’s-...you just surprised me.” He reached for your hand and returned it to his shoulder which was still bare. You hadn’t even realized he hadn’t redressed after finishing the radiographs. Your palm rested on his shoulder, his skin was warm to the touch. Your thumb gently stroked the end of his collarbone as you often did to support your clients. Beneath your fingers you felt the impressive muscle he had, in spite of appearing relatively lean, the muscle tone of his torso was quite defined. You imagined it had to be in order for him to fight villains and hold himself aloft while flying.

“I know it’s a difficult thing to hear. Your wings take you everywhere, I’m sure. But this won’t last forever, okay?” Something about your voice was so soothing to his fried nerves. But you’d never know because of how cool and composed he made himself appear.

“You don’t mind?” Hawks felt his anxiety dissolve when he thought about getting to see you next. It was a strange feeling, but he knew he could trust you. Those pretty eyes of yours really spoke volumes.

“Of course not. Now let’s get you taped up and on your way. I’m sure you’re exhausted, no doubt whatever broke your wing has you worn out.”

“Heh you can say that again.” There it was, his suave and too-cool demeanor. But you didn’t mind it. You were sure it was just a front he was used to keeping up. After all, you were just a civilian and he couldn’t afford to let anyone know just how weak he was.

You managed to tape and place Hawks’ wing in a makeshift splint. He refused any medication but you could tell by the way he white knuckled the table that he was in pain. A majority of the time, your patients were under anesthesia when setting broken bones. So you had to be careful this time about how heavy handed you were. By the time you were finished, you had less than 10 minutes to get him out the door before your techs and kennel attendants showed up for work.

“Come see me in a week. We’ll take more xrays and make any adjustments if you need them. Try to keep the splint dry, and rest. I mean it, Hawks.”

“Alright, Doc. I’ll be a good little bird just for you.” The winged hero winked at you as he slipped out the back door. You felt your heart leap into your throat and cheeks burn up as a result. Just as he disappeared, you heard the sounds of your employees coming in and quickly closed the door and composed yourself.

“Morning, Doc!” One of them said as you appeared in the exam area. You smiled and waved, reaching into the pocket of your white coat with your other hand. Something was in there. You looked inside and saw red. A feather. Unbeknownst to you, Hawks had slipped one of his feathers into your pocket. You couldn’t fathom why, but you felt a strange sense of comfort when you ran the tip of your finger along the center spine. It quivered when you did so.

“Ungh...” In an alley a block away, Hawks had to brace a brick wall with one hand. His insides trembled as he sensed you touching his feather. Even he didn’t know why he left one with you. But the thought of parting made him remarkably...sad?

“Get it together, Keigo...” He muttered to himself, shaking his head and continuing back home. It would be a long 6 weeks out of the sky, but at least he’d be able to see you.

A/N: This was longer than I anticipated omg. Does anyone think I should continue?

[azucanela]

being zuko’s s/o would include hcs?

BEING ZUKO’S S/O [GENDER NEUTRAL!READER]

BEING KORRA’S S/O | BEING SOKKA’S S/O

SUMMARY: being zuko’s s/o from the confession to the weddin’ [say this but make it rhyme the way those singers do ya know]

WORD COUNT: 2.5k

WARNINGS: kissing, very mildly implied nsfw, soft zuko, a dragon

A/N: these are gonna be extensive bc there is no scenario but if you want whole fics there are like 6342 zuko fics coming since everyone is a zuko simp. also wow this is really long um i hope its what you wanted!

GETTING INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

you guys have probably known each other a long time, because homebody does not fall for just anyone, so if you become the object of his affections, you better feel HONORED. hehe honored 

i feel like it takes him a lot of time to actually accept his feelings for you are beyond platonic. the main reason he falls for you is probably your consistency in his life since thats something he tends to lack. like his mom? gone. his dad? kicked him out of the only place he ever knew. his life is filled with major changes so if you guys have known each other since childhood then consistency is key

once he realizes he likes you he kinda panics because what if you don’t accept him? what if you leave? even worse, what if you leave because he likes you? so now he’s panicking, and naturally, as one does, Zuko avoids his problems. You, being the problem. And his emotions, but he is in denial so

definitely talks to his uncle about the two of you A LOT, especially when he is first figuring out his feelings and trying to figure out what to do about them

his uncle is an elite wingman, constantly tries to get the two of you to be alone in the same space or get information out of you in regards to you

when it comes to confessing i can see a few situations

situation one is that zuko confesses completely by accident, freaks out, disappears, avoids you even more, like homie is a mess. after you get fatally injured, or maybe when he thinks you are asleep, or he just kinda blurts it out in conversation when you guys are doing something domestic. regardless, it is entirely by accident, and now zuko is freaking the heck out. 

“i really like this tea.”

“i really like you.”

“excuse me-”

“i goTTA GO FEED MY DRAGOn Y/N!”

“you don’t have a dragon!”

so that’s how zuko gets his dragon from LOK, storytime over

you kinda have to find him and get a word in before he runs off because he is really scared of rejection, he doesn’t want you to leave and assumes that if the situation is never addressed then you can’t leave woohoo problem solved. 

his uncle yells at him lol

when you corner him you gotta confess super fast and handle his anxieties because he is super worried about you hating him now even though it is the opposite. 

“please don’t leave me.”

“i’m not gonna leave my boyfriend.”

“your- your what?”

“we are dating now. i like you, you like me, so we are dating.”

situation two is equally chaotic, but far less dancing around the feelings since you confess! congrats! you have more balls than me! im so proud! good job bb!

when you confess, its probably late at night, a comfortable silence between the two of you, or maybe he’s ranting about something, like how dumb the concept of tea is idk. regardless this is DOMESTIC, so it’s soft and cute and you are just like you know what screw it this nerd is so easily flustered by me maybe he likes me back! look at us cuddling like a couple! might as well make it official!

zuko.exe error, not working

you broke him good job. 

he externally panics and internally congratulates himself while panicking. he is very shocked you feel that way for him because he is an oblivious boy. 

“honestly, i don’t understand why my uncle likes those flavored water leaves so much-”

“i don’t understand why i’m in love with you.”

“WHAT.”

if y’all were cuddling on a bed or smth he THROWS YOU OFF BY ACCIDENT SKJDHJFHKHWJKF oopsie, he just gets up so quickly that you kinda go tumbling.

homie literally asks you why so naturally you gotta start listing all of these reasons why because hes like perfect and beautiful and yeah we all love him a lot :D marry me zuko <3

you gotta give him a hot minute to process all the information you just gave him, he is in shock for a short while, kinda just sitting there confused. once it gets through his thick skull that you like him he’s gonna thank you 💀

then he’ll ask you how you wanna handle this and boom you have a boyfriend now good job! 

DURING THE RELATIONSHIP

dating during a war is hard so when y’all first start dating, probably towards the end of the war when he finally joins the Gaang, its gonna be really chaotic and you guys are still gonna be sorting through everything, like what kinda couple do you wanna be? neither of you know

kisses are rare during this time, especially since zuko is a generally private person who doesn’t really do PDA much, especially since he wants to avoid teasing and judgement from others. he’s a real people pleaser at the end of the day, he literally spent three years of his life looking for someone the world thought just disappeared permanently because he wanted his dad’s validation.

when you two do kiss, it tends to be a night in your shared tent, even then Zuko is weary of Toph’s seismic senses.

his kisses tend to be soft and sensual, he really just wants to take his time and enjoy it. however, bb does have a temper so you can expect some spice on occasion when he gets frustrated.

this comes later on in the relationship, once the war is resolved, but that just brings about new problems! like having to deal with the new fire lord who is always busy as your boyfriend!

especially at the beginning, when he’s newly crowned and everything is busy and new and he’s struggling with being organized, he rarely has time for you. however, you are likely his right hand, main advisor, general, whatever your area of expertise is he will find you a position in the castle, unless you tell him you want to stay out of politics. though, deep down, he wants to give you a position so he can spend time with you

once things calm down and he’s got being fire lord in the bag, he starts blocking in time during his day to actually take you out on dates and stuff

at one point just disappears for the whole day with you and everyone thinks he’s been kidnapped until they realize you aren’t around either

that’s not very responsible of you guys smh you have a nation to run 

is soft with you, though zuko’s temper definitely lessened when he became Fire Lord, but it no doubt shows itself sometimes, but never with you

well need your assurance sometimes because he gets insecure

like why is the beautiful amazing intelligent woman dating me i do not understand what the heck why have you not left me yet

knock some sense into him

also gets worried that he is a horrible ruler and wants you to tell him that he in fact does his job very well

did you forget you helped end a war zuko?

kiss. his. scar. give him love, its one of few physical parts of himself that he is insecure about and if you kiss him there he might start crying because wow intimacy didn’t know what that was

speaking of intimacy, he is a touch starved boy so when you start giving him love do not stop, never deprive him of cuddles he gets grumpy

lol play volleyball with him

very domestic??? like his parents highkey did not like eachother so now he just wants to hold your hand, lay with you in the morning, wake up to your pretty face, and just cuddle with you while you read aloud 

overall you two are a power couple and zuko simps for you 25/8 you rule as a team and he values you and your opinion VERY much, tries to take you out as often as he can despite his VERY demanding job, and expresses his love to the best of his ability

MARRIAGE N STUFF

zuko took the throne YOUNG he was like 16, so he is not proposing until y’all are at least adults, but i imagine that he is probably gonna wanna date you for like at least three years before proposing

he wants to make sure you are there to stay even if you’ve been around since childhood

there are two ways he is gonna propose here

situation one is where he kinda just does it,,, randomly? like out of nowhere he realizes that w o w he wants to marry you, he wants to spend the rest of his life with you and dedicate everything to you because you are HIS forever person

so he’s kinda just laying with you in the morning, nice soft kisses here and there, will not let you leave the bed and you are definitely complaining, especially if you have a position in the palace and need to get to work

regardless its a soft moment, there’s light filtering in through the window in your shared room, and its shining on your face, and yeah you are lowkey a mess because its the morning but you are just,, so,, beautiful??

and you start telling him about your plans for the, playing with his hair and stuff, and he’s listening to his heartbeat when he breaks from your hold and looks up at you and is just like

“marry me.”

“we also need to feed your dragon- wait what”

you are kinda just in shock for a moment, so you sit up and look at him, mouth gaping open like

“are you serious?”

he suddenly realizes he doesn’t have a ring and it is 7AM in the morning and it is not the best time for this

“...yes”

now you are laughing, falling back onto the pillows, and maybe there’s a tear in your eye as you nod rapidly, “okay, yes.”

now you are thinking of the fake story you are gonna tell people when they asked how he proposed because you are NOT saying it was in bed at 7AM while you were looking like a whole mess

“yes? yes as in yes you will marry me? are you serious?” 

such an idiot, but he’s cute its okay

you kiss him and its passionate and adorable, and he kisses back but he quickly breaks apart and is like “you’re sure? because i don’t have a ring-”

“how have you successfully run a country.”

“good thing you are gonna join me on the throne i suppose.”

“oh my god you’re right-”

“you aren’t reconsidering are you?”

“NO.”

have fun being the fire god woo

now y’all go back to making out and traumatize whatever advisor comes to check on you because they’re like where are the people who rule this country??? 

situation two is where he has been carrying around the ring for MONTHS but is looking for the perfect time to propose because you are perfect so this must be perfect

he couldn’t sleep and in the middle of the night he was like WELP I WANNA GET ENGAGED and kinda just decided he was gonna marry you

since you were asleep he couldn’t ask you right then and these

confides in the gaang and everyone is super excited

now he’s been walking around with this ring for months and what is he supposed to do now oh god

the gaang is like stop procrastinating bro, just ASK HER, and hes like NO IT NEEDS TO BE PERFECT

they help him set up the palace courtyard and make it all nice, there are lanterns, and candles, and a path of rose petals, and this time around he does have a ring so yes its great

he’s like hey let’s go for a walk! and you’re like okay??? lol

so you two are walking around the palace, holding hands, when he leads you to the courtyard and you are just like DAMN this is romantic AND pretty

“i think we are interrupting Zuko let’s leave”

“what do you mean interrupting-”

“well someone clearly put in a lot of effort!”

“that someone is me!”

:O

its not that he isn’t romantic its just that he’s never done something like this so now you’re confused

“did i forget our anniversary?”

“no.”

NOW you understand, looking around, you turn back to him to find that he’s on one knee, you two are in front of the pond with the turtleducks and wow it must be raining why is there water on your face? haha...

he tells you he loves you and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, and how he hopes he never loses you because you are just so vital to his life and his being and everything he’s done to make this world a better place has been for you and damn zuko you wonder if he got possessed

obviously you agree

and obviously something goes wrong

when he stands you tackle him with a hug and you two fall into the pond

oops 

the wedding[disclaimer: i have never been to a wedding so i do not know what happens in weddings, feel free to educate me pls] is either REALLY intimate and private, or really big and stuff, since you gotta go through that whole coronation process now and like public weddings n stuff

no matter what his uncle is the one who walks you down the aisle.

change my mind.

you cant. 

the intimate one is almost similar to eloping, probably happens in the court yard where he proposed, and you are wearing a AMAZING outfit, whether its a tux, an amazing dress, a jumpsuit, you gonna look FIRE

hehe fire

anyways it’ll probably be the people who fought with him in the war, the gaang, the white lotus, kyoshi warriors, maybe a few others, 

its a really nice ceremony, and the courtyard is decorated so beautifully, though Zuko considered putting a fence around the pond considering what happened when he proposed lol

if its a more public wedding, then its going to feel like the entire Fire Nation came to watch y’all get married, much more flashy, there’s a band performance, a banquet, y’all gotta use the ballroom so that everyone can dance 

kinda nerve wracking ngl

regardless, after you two get married nothing really changes because you always acted like an old married couple, and even as the other ruler of the fire nation, you always had an important job in the palace so its kinda just the same but more official

its a vibe

moral of the story is zuko is a simp for you and your marriage is mutual simping, that is all

A/N: i kinda went off ngl, also im about to hit 200 followers and i feel as though i should do something special so i am taking suggestions pls

taglists[lmk if you wanna be added or removed :D]

zuko: @shawni-h @lil-lex1 @boxofteenageideas @izzieserra @eridanuswave @bigbuckyenergy @outerxorbit

permanent: @chewymoustachio

[libraford]

We interrupt the feral celebration of ousting an oligarch to bring you a story about Yeehaw and his Branch of Mystery.

  It has been a while since we last had some co-worker drama, but man- has it been a weird summer. I mean... we all had a weird summer in 2020, but I don't think I was really expecting this particular... flavor of weird?

 This is a story about Yeehaw, but it starts off with a story about Aggie.

 Aggie was someone we were excited to hire and part of our excitement was that it's rare to find someone with prior floral experience and we'd concluded at this point that it does no one any good to be picky about new hires in the middle of a pandemic. So finding someone who knew the difference between a carnation and a rose was a big deal for us.

 I say that in jest, but saying that we do 'on-the-job training' means that we've had to explain that yes- the flower in my hand that looks like a carnation is a carnation and not some other flower that looks like carnation but is not a carnation. Floristry is a very straightforward practice and for the most part a rose is a rose and a daisy is a daisy and if someone asks for those things, you give it to them.

 The hard part is, as always, making them look good together.

 Which is why we were pleased with Aggie- who previously did weddings for her friends and seemed to have a basic understanding of how to do things with her hands. We were happy to have her aboard.

 ... until you gave her criticism.

 She made her vases embarrassingly short, and if you tried to tell her how to fix it, she'd snap back with "I'm not DONE yet."

 She was done until you said something.

 If you gave her an order for two dozen white roses, she would take it upon herself to mix white and yellow roses together 'because it looks better.'

 It did not.

 Hashtag: #selftaught

 When a client asks for all white roses, there is likely a reason they asked for all white. Given that 90% of our work is funerals, it stands to reason that they are asking for all white because that is a traditional color for mourning. Working with a client means doing exactly what they asked for. Doing a wedding for your friends may get you high praise from people who trust you to work in the same aesthetic as them, but in a shop setting you are being paid to follow things to the letter. Doing so shows that you can follow directions, and they may come back next time.

 You don't know customer entitlement until you've been torn another asshole for leaving out a single rose.

 This seemed to never occur to her, and so criticism was a painful realization that perhaps she wasn't perfect at an art that was exceptionally susceptible to criticism. There were plenty of opportunities to make something in her own aesthetic, it wasn't like she was being stifled. There was a considerable amount of downtime where she filled the front cooler with her own creations- enigmatically giving each of them their own names like "Autumn Walk" or "First Snowfall." (This is not something that we do, on the whole.)

 Not very many of those sold.

 But I think what bugged me the most is that she only ever designed. She didn't take out the trash, she didn't answer phones, she never helped customers. She just... did flowers. Nothing else.

 Oh... and the chatter.

 "Do you travel? Oh, you simply MUST go to Bali sometime! You've never been to Asia? Well, there's nothing like achieving inner peace at a Buddhist temple on a mountaintop in Nepal. They have temples here in Ohio, but it's nothing like the real thing! You say you've never even been off the continent? Well, what are you waiting for? You only live once, you know!"

 Ma'am... we're in the middle of a pandemic. Ma'am... I only get paid so much...

 While trying to relate, I talked about my summer in Montana and she gave me the BIGGEST stank-face. "Montana? Ew, WHY?"

 Look, lady- I lived on a mountaintop next to an active, world-destroying volcano system. If that's not cool, I don't know what is.

 But thankfully, she only worked on weekends. See, this was her fun job. The job she does to stay social during a pandemic and flex her creative muscles while she makes money at her much more lucrative,but boring,HR job. So I only had to see her twice a month when I was manager on duty.

 Then she got fired from her weekday job and went full-time at the flower shop. Poor thing wasn't used to waking up at 7am every day. She was full of suggestions.

 "I think it would be easier for me if we only opened at like... 11am."

"Don't you think we should be taking proper photos of our work? All we would need is a nice camera and a soft lighting setup. Couldn't be much more than $1000."

"Oh I know! We should be doing inventory on tablets instead of writing things down!"

 Okay, you go buy those things then. It took her about a week of making those suggestions to realize that she wasn't real clear on how things worked around here and stopped. She became quiet, less enthusiastic about her 'fun' job now that she wasn't immediately the star of the show.

 Enter Yeehaw.

 We were excited about Yeehaw, too. He didn't just have experience with flowers- he had experience with a flower shop. He gave a good interview, he seemed like he knew what he was doing and was very passionate about flowers. He was definitely an entire hippie, but about 1/3 of all plant people are. Most importantly, we still had like three spots to fill left from our pre-Covid staff.

 Hired.

 There was an overlap of about a week where Aggie and Yeehaw worked at the same time. His work was... immaculate. Just... astonishingly beautiful work. You didn't even have to show him how to make anything. He just... knew.

 Well, Aggie didn't  like that much- we had only nice things to say about this new guy but all she ever got was criticism. And if we complimented him on something he made, he would give a little 'namaste' bow. And I could see her fuming with rage each time he did this.

 One day, she rushed into the back to take a phone call and any time someone went back there for a vase she would lower her voice as if keeping a deep secret. Twenty minutes later, she called Grandpa into the back as well to discuss something. Ten minutes later, Aggie left the building with her Live, Laugh, Love bag, looking pissed.

 "Where did Aggie go," I asked Grandpa.

 "She got a new job," she said. "Doing HR somewhere."

 "She didn't even say good-bye," Blue said, appearing unsurprised.

 And so we went on with out lives without really putting much further thought into Aggie, apart from the occasional 'you simply MUST visit Bali' line thrown in for bougie emphasis.

 Which brings us to the next part of the story, and that is Yeehaw.

 There are some details to know about Yeehaw that are kind of difficult to fit into a story neatly. Here is a brief list that may come in handy to know later.

-He lives with his mother.

-He drives a Tesla.

-He can afford the Tesla because he was in a terrible wreck that had him hospitalized, and a lawsuit was won.

-Because of this, he has two screws in his head at the temples.

-Unrelated, he has hair that goes all the way down to his back.

- And...

 "Grandpa, we need to tell you something," Blue said. "In private."

 Blue and Kali pulled Grandpa aside while Yeehaw slowly put together a funeral order. "Grandpa, there's no polite way to put this: Yeehaw is drunk as fuck."

 "He smells like whiskey," Kali said.

 "He's stumbling everywhere."

 "And he won't stop... burping."

 Grandpa paused. "There's something I need to tell you," she said, and she reached for a manila folder. "Yeehaw has something called... what's it called..." She leafed through the file and produced a paper, reading from it. "Auto-brewery Syndrome. His body actually produces alcohol anytime he eats bread or sugar. If he's drunk, it's because he can't help it."

 We each had a chance to go over the doctor's note, verifying that yes- that sure does look official. Everyone had questions, but it did answer the one I had about why he was sitting in the break room literally drinking peanut butter from the jar.

 So that was incredibly interesting and we no longer asked about the burping or why he was so slow.  

 However, the fact that he was so slow was extremely frustrating. Our average number of orders runs approximately 100 per-day. This can be eased somewhat when we have a full-staff with five designers- an average of 20 designs per person in an 8-hour day, 3 per hour.

 But it's a fine line some days, and if one person cannot keep up it turns into a struggle for all of us.  

 We did our best to accommodate. We gave him all the day-ahead orders so that we wouldn't be behind and he'd have all the time he'd need to make his gorgeous pieces.

 We were willing to make it work.

 A number of factors came into play one day, but most notably: Yeehaw's Tesla wouldn't start and he had to take the bus. So he was late.

 I think I saw him make one entire item in the two hours that we were in the same room. He went to lunch around 12:30, I took mine around 1:00. I saw him stumble back in from lunch, looking... out of it. Just... absolutely incomprehensible- mumbling, barely upright, his hair out of the bun, quite possibly sleepwalking- who knows?

 I saw him for that brief Sasquatch moment... and that was the last that I saw him that day. It was around 4:00 that  Grandpa asked the question:

 "Where's Yeehaw?"

 And no one had an answer. We all had places that we thought we'd seen him: cleaning the cooler, in the break room, heading to the bathroom... but no one had really... seen him since he stumbled back in around 1:30.

 We checked all these places.

 None of them.

 The person who actually managed to find him was Sarge, who noticed his feet sticking out from behind the bushes behind the building.

 "Huh," he said, presumably. He gave the feet a light kick and Yeehaw slowly sat back up. "Hey dude. You... okay, there? They're lookin' for you inside."

 Yeehaw mumbled something to Sarge and got to his feet, stumbling back into the shop without further interaction. He appeared into the workspace, holding a branch in front of his face for mysterious reasons. There were still twigs entangled in his long hair.

 "Where were you at," Grandpa asked, concerned.

 "Oh, I was in the bathroom," he lied from behind the branch of mystery. "I'm pretty tired. Is it okay if I go home?"

 Bewildered, Grandpa gave him permission to leave. It was soon after he left that Scout found his phone in the empty sink. "Who's trying to wash their phone," he asked in the loud manner that is characteristic of old white men. It rang while in his hand and one of our designers snatched it from him. It was his mother.

 "Hello," said the designer. "Yeehaw went home early, but he left his phone behind. Can you bring it home to him?" Mom agreed, she was just over at Trader Joe's anyhow.

 We thought, of course, that we were doing something smart and nice. Yeehaw's mom looks just about what you would expect the mother of a 30-year-old hippie that drives a Tesla to look. Grandpa, in a polite way, explained that he'd fallen asleep in a bush. To which Mom seemed neither surprised nor concerned about his behavior.

 "Okay. I'll be at Hallmark."

 Somewhere between the bus stop and Bexley, Yeehaw must have realized that his phone was not with him and so he came back looking for it. Despite his mother being literally in the same strip mall as we were, he seemed irritated that we'd taken the initiative to make sure his phone got to him.

 "Well, I bet if you just went down to Hallmark she'd give you your phone and probably give you a ride home."

 He mumbled something and then left.

 This seems like a decent place to pause, because him leaving the second time in the day should be the end of the story. However... at 5:00 in the evening there was still two hours left in the work day and from past experience... that is plenty of time for a lot of things to happen.

 The thing to happen was a phone call.

 "Hi, this is Jade from the main store. We've gotten... some... interesting phone calls. Is there... a... hmm... is there a dead body out in front of your store?"

 Pause.

 "We'll take care of it, bye."

 Who wants to be the one to poke the cadaver on the sidewalk? A volunteer from the audience! Ms Crowe: won't you come down?!

 I have had it planted firmly in my mind that Crowe certainly understands the concept of fear but does not recognize it. Apart from being one of our most reliable drivers, she is also a performer, a street medic, an activist, and most notably... a fire-breather.

 You have your hobbies.

 Point is- she's brave enough to check to see if the person laying on the sidewalk was dead or simply overdosed.

 As it turns out, it was Yeehaw- curled up in the fetal position with his arm covering his face.

 "Hey," Crowe said, poking him with her foot. "Heeeeeeey," she said again but more firmly this time. He moved, blinking in the evening the sun. "Buddy, you can't be laying around on the sidewalk. You gotta move on."

 Again, he slowly got to his feet. At this time, his mother emerged from Hallmark to see him talking with Crowe. A group of four people escorted him into Mom's car while he stopped every few feet to perform another 'namaste' bow.

 You think this is the end. But what have we learned?

 There's always more.

 He came in the next day as if none of this had happened. Conversation was difficult because we both desperately needed to know what the fuck happened and also did not want to trigger something. So we didn't bring it up. He apologized for leaving early: chronic fatigue syndrome, you know.

 Other places would have fired him, but we're a very forgiving workplace. Falling asleep on company time is not, in any way, the worst thing that someone has done at this location while still keeping their job. There was Sugar and her drugs, there was the dude that used the company van to pick up prostitutes (this was before my time), there was the guy that screamed at customers over the phone... it's a long list.

 The primary concern of our employers is whether or not you are a reliable person. If you routinely show up for your job and do the work, you're going to be okay at least for a little bit. And Yeehaw, for all his impeccable fuckery, at least showed up every day.

 We kept this at the back of our minds.

 One day, after the Day We Found Him In a Bush was behind us, one of the designers mentioned that they'd seen where Aggie works now. It was not in HR.

 It was our major competitor.

 Now, Grandpa knows this competitor well. She knows all her competition. It is the nature of a lot of florists to, once they've gotten sick of one place, move on to the next one and spill the beans on their operations there. So Grandpa gets the dirt on everyone.

 This particular shop was very regimented. You don't wing it- you follow the recipe as listed. He's been known to pick discarded flowers up off the floor and tell you exactly how much  money you're costing the company by letting it fall, to the cent. If you get so far as to make casket sprays, he will take your first one and chuck it across the room if it even looks like the stems are in there too loosely.

 This is what I mean about us being an easy place to work.

 Hashtag: #ohfuck.

 People come in and out of your life like that, in little ways. Sometimes you just have to have a little laugh at it. But what I thought was funny was that she felt the need to keep her new employer a secret, as though we would get jealous or tattle. Curious thing.

 Now that the glamour of Yeehaw's arrangements had worn off, we were starting to see more and more odd behaviors that didn't seem completely related to drunkenness.

 "Did you just fart?"

 "No, that was a spider barking."

 Amazing.

 Conversation with him was becoming... difficult. As I sat in the break room with my quick lunch and he drank soup out of a mayonnaise jar, he mentioned his area of study in college.

 "Cognitive Psychology and Hindu Philosophy, huh? That's an interesting combination."

 "Yeah," he said, funneling an amount of squash soup down his throat. "It'll take the rest of the world about 100 years before they catch up to where I am."

 I sat, posed in front of my beef and broccoli which I was eating with a fork, trying to process a logical reason why the rest of the world will be sleeping in a bush in one hundred years. "Uh... huh."

 This was followed by another thirty minutes of silence where I desperately wanted to know what he meant by that but didn't want to be the one to ask him.

 People will tell you that a hippie is generally an ineffective, benign kind of person who chants 'love love, peace peace' in a circle and consider that to be an action for change. But I can say with absolute certainty that I have met some downright egotistical hippies in my life. Those were lessons in bias- which I will have to save for other times.

 Eventually, Grandpa became frustrated with his slowness. We presumed that his speed of choice was a combination of his meticulous nature and his various ailments, but with the Christmas season coming upon us it was becoming much more than a series of symptoms.

 Previous persons who lacked speed were chatty, would play on their phone, or get distracted. But Yeehaw... Yeehaw simply moved like a tranquilized sloth. He slowly picked off each leaf, each thorn, each guard petal and took a minute for each action. He would put in his greens and then contemplate it powerfully for ten minutes before putting any flowers in... slowly.

 In the time spent doing this, I had already made something of a similar size and was starting on the second one.

 It was during one of these times that Grandpa finally said something.

 "Yeehaw, that spray is due in thirty minutes. Is there a way you can go any faster?"

 He looked up from his greens, held one carnation to his face, and said:

 "If you wanted me to move faster, you would pay me better."

 Let me start by saying that we do not get paid well. We don't. Compared to other flower shops in our city, we are probably the lowest-paid. This is something that the company is starting to work on with benefits and raises, but any amount of change takes time. (And its still better paying than when I worked in retail. But that's another book.)

 Yeehaw had been here for exactly one month. I don't know a single workplace that gives you a raise after one month and still lets you sleep on the clock without firing you. He knew what he was getting paid when we hired him.

 So anyways, he slowly grinds down our nerves to a very fine dust- burping, farting, falling asleep on his feet, staring intensely into space, talking about how much he should be making but isn't, bragging about his enlightenment, and generally just slowing down production.

 And then Grandpa had her well-earned vacation week. Blue was in charge for the most part and the week leading up to Halloween is generally pretty slow, so it was a good week for her to have a break with few mishaps.

 Eh... hehe. Yeah.

 Yeehaw... disappeared again. We checked the cooler, we checked the break room, we checked the bushes out back, we checked the sidewalk out front.

 He was in the bathroom.

 So we left it.

 He was still in the bathroom an hour later.

 We had one of the male drivers pound on the door to check on him. When Yeehaw opened the door to the men's room, there was a wad of toilet paper on the floor that he'd been using as a pillow.

 If I may pause here to explain- our men's room is disgusting. I have deep cleaned it several times only for it to become a germ-fest once more in a matter of hours. I don't ask who is peeing all over the floor because, honestly, I have no desire to know what grown man can't aim his willy in the right direction.

 So in order to fall asleep in the bathroom, you have to be willing to sleep in pee. During a pandemic.

 He reappeared in the workroom, put his apron back on, looked around at all of us still working and said: "Wow, it must be really hard to get fired here."

 It was at this point that Blue informed Grandpa.

 "Tell him that he's fired," Grandpa said, clearly 1001% done with this.

 "I'm not going to fire him," Blue said. "I don't think I can fire anyone."

 So she had the driver that found him do it, which was confusing for all of us. He ended up calling Grandpa to clarify. And by 'clarify,' I definitely mean 'beg for his job back.' A synopsis of the 20 minute phone call went like this:

 "What do you mean, I'm fired?"

 "Just that. You're fired. I'm tired of it, Yeehaw. You don't work here anymore."

 "Why?"

 "What do you mean 'why?' You spend all day making a total of three arrangements and then you wander off somewhere and fall asleep."

 "I can't help it if I have chronic fatigue syndrome!"

 "This is a physical job. If your body can't handle an 8-hour shift without falling asleep for two hours, this isn't the job for you. Tell me: where is that fair to the girls that you do 3% of the work while they pick up the slack and you wander off to sleep on the clock?"

 "I simply do not care about them."

 "You don't care that you're shoving all the work on your coworkers, and that's why you're fired."

 "I wish you'd given me a warning."

 "Tell me, Yeehaw: how many employers can you find that will allow you to sleep on the clock for two hours and let you off with a warning?"

 End of discussion.

 Now, you're probably wondering where Aggie comes back into this. Just hold tight, I'll get there.

 The Sunday after he was fired, he came in to pick up his paycheck. I was busy handling a minor emergency where one of our funeral homes forgot to order a spray and I had to make one as fast as I could. We held a brief conversation while I made the spray in a hurry.

 "I'm here to pick up my check," he said while I greened the spray and leafed through the paychecks simultaneously.

 "Here you go," I said, handing it to him without much fanfare. I presumed that he was looking for sympathy or some kind of followup or... I don't know. Sorry you suddenly care about your job?

 "So what are your next plans," one of the designers asked, trying to coax more information out of him while I did the work of three people.

 "It's kind of funny," he said slowly... as he did all things. "I've only ever been fired from flower shops." He paused, thoughtfully. "I think I'm going to go apply to the shop in Bexley that Aggie went to."

[the-hidden-writer]

And Into The Fire

Chapter 2: Mother, I Don’t Feel So Good

Summary:

Months after the Mitchells saved the world, Linda gets a phone call asking if she’s seen two defective Pal MAX bots. Powerful people are after Eric and Deborabot 5000, and it’s up to the Mitchells to protect them.

Check reblogs for AO3 link!

Mother, I Don’t Feel So Good

A week had passed since the ominous phone call and Linda was only just starting to think all her worry was for nothing. Nobody had broken down their front door to take her bots away and there had been no more word from Bowman, so she could assume that they had taken her words at face value. It was a huge relief to say the least.

She woke up that morning at 7am as normal. It was Saturday, so Rick and Aaron would both sleep in for a few more hours while she would have the house almost all to herself.

She smiled at the sound of birds in the garden. Today felt like it was going to be a good day.

The second she went downstairs however, something felt very wrong.

Linda was always the first person up. She’d go to the bathroom and then head to the kitchen to listen to the radio for a bit. On the way, she’d pass the bots watching TV in the living room. Every morning, without fail, they’d say “Good morning, Mother!” to her in their cheerful voices. It was extremely adorable, part of her routine, and something she secretly looked forward to every time she woke up.

The utter silence downstairs today was disturbing.

There weren't even the quiet sounds from whatever show the bots happened to be watching that she’d grown to be familiar with. She poked her head into the living room and could immediately see that the TV was turned off.

The living room was also empty.

“Boys?”

No answer.

A sudden wave of panic washing over her, Linda raced back up the stairs. The bots had never not followed their routine, so something must be wrong. She could feel that something was wrong. It was her motherly instincts taking over.

In her panicked state, she slammed open the door to the guest room (the bots lived there now- they couldn’t be trusted with Katie’s room) and felt immediate relief when she saw one of the bots sitting with his back to her on the side of the bed.

So they hadn’t been taken in the middle of the night. That was a good start.

But then her eyes fell onto the figure actually lying in the bed, and the relief disappeared again.

She was almost scared to ask. “Boys..?”

The robot on the bed turned his head to reveal it was Deborahbot. He lifted his index finger (as he often did when he was about to speak) but was interrupted by a sudden burst of glitching on his screen, causing his head to tilt dangerously quickly to one side and for a loud buzzing sound that came and left in a matter of seconds.

Now Linda knew that the bots were defective and were therefore prone to the occasional glitch, though usually their glitches were accompanied by sparks and were caused by little things that confused them and never actually affected their life/routine. This sudden glitch, however, was spark-less and looked scarily like the time when they were controlled by Pal.

Linda’s gut feeling only worsened.

Once he’d seemingly recovered from the glitch, Deborahbot straightened his head and stood up to greet her.

“...Good morning… Mother…”

And if Linda had felt bad before, nothing could compare with the chill that crept up her spine at the words. Not only did Deborahbot sound slightly distorted (as if he was struggling to get the words out) but the phrase was spoken by him alone. Normally, the brothers would always say it in-sync with one another in their slightly-creepy-but-well-meaning way.

She forced herself to speak calmly. “Deborahbot… where’s Eric?”

She almost wished that he hadn’t stepped aside so that she could spend a moment longer without seeing the state of her boy on the bed.

Eric’s face was barely visible with the amount of lights and lines of code flashing on and off. Under all that, his screen was in a constant state of television static, and as Linda hesitantly moved closer she could even hear the buzzing sound that accompanied it.

To top it all off, he was unmoving and a blanket had been shoddily thrown on top of him with his feet sticking out at the bottom.

Following her gaze, Deborahbot spoke up.

“Blankets bring humans comfort-” he glitched and recovered in an instant- “I thought it might bring him some comfort as well.”

Linda could barely form words.

“Wh-What’s going on?!”

Deborahbot glitched again before speaking. “An outside source is attempting to penetrate our systems and rewrite our code. We are... trying to stop that.”

It pained her to hear his voice so quiet and strained.

It had never really crossed her mind in the months that they’d lived with them that the bots- her boys- could be hacked. Their technology was so advanced and the fact that they were so sentient meant that she’d just assumed that it wasn’t possible. Maybe if she’d stopped to think, she might have been able to see this coming and do something to stop it.

“Is Eric okay?” She asked, unable to tear her eyes away from the immobile android. “Why isn’t he-”

“I think that…” Deborahbot began, and Linda noticed how his voice sounded full of sorrow (or at least as much sorrow as his monotonous voice could muster). “I think that I am... more defective than my brother.” He paused and Linda sucked in a breath at the vulnerable admission. “Since our defects are what protects us from Pal Labs’ network, it is easier for them to access him. My brother is... working very hard to fight them off.”

“Okay,” Said Linda quietly, trying to calm herself down more than anything. She needed Rick and Katie’s help on this one. She couldn’t deal with this alone. “Okay, um... “

A question sprung into mind that she dreaded to know the answer to. Gently, she placed her hands on Deborahbot’s shoulders in what she hoped was a comforting gesture.

“Does it hurt?”

“Only if we resist the new coding.” Was his reply, but it wasn’t the conformation Linda was looking for.

“And… are you? Are you both resisting it?” Deborahbot glitched yet again as she spoke.

“Yes.” He answered, ever the more direct of the two.

Not for the first time, Linda was glad that the bots didn’t look like humans. She didn’t think she would be able to handle seeing pain all over their innocent faces.

She guided Deborahbot back to the bed and sat him down. With one last stroke of his shoulders (since you can't squeeze metal) she finally released him and moved towards the door. She didn’t dare touch Eric in fear of making his situation any worse.

“I’m gonna go get Rick.” She told him. She had no idea if Eric could even hear anything right now. “Is there anything I can do in the meantime?”

“No.” Deborahbot replied bluntly. “Thank you for asking though, Mother.”

“Alright then. Stay strong boys, I’ll be back soon.”

Linda didn’t want to leave the room. She was new to this- heck, it had been months and she still wasn’t completely used to her new children being robots- but seeing the bots like that reminded her of the time that Katie and Aaron got chickenpox.

Aaron had caught it from school and Katie caught it off Aaron. While Aaron had fought it off pretty quickly, Katie was much older and it ended up being so serious that she needed to go to hospital. She was in bed with Linda at her bedside for a few days.

Just as Deborahbot was with Eric now. The only difference was that Deborahbot was affected too, and there were no doctors or nurses to help them get better.

Her boys were dangerously sick. Deborahbot had the equivalent of Aaron’s condition while Eric was practically comatose.

With that comparison in mind, Linda felt determination lock itself in her soul. She was going to help her boys get better, no matter what. That was her responsibility as their mother and she was damn well gonna fulfil it.

Comments make my day :)