#I’m just personally tired of people saying this sorry

[ask-postcrash-curly]

it is very childish and naive but i am still so shocked to see that so many people are just fucking outright mean

…

I can never tell why they’re doing it.

Some days they might think I deserve it. Some days they might think it’s funny. Either way, I really can’t understand why the amount of pain I’m already in isn’t enough to satisfy that.

The worst one, I think, is when they don’t know why they do it or they “just felt like it.” Reminds me how easy a target I am. Not— not as in I’ve got a lot of characteristics to make fun of. More that— that there’s no guilt in it.

Not if I’m not a person. Not if I’m a shell.

I can’t blame the crew for it, I guess. Isn’t like I can talk back. But the lot of you hear what I’m thinking and that’s still not enough to fool some of you into thinking it matters what I want. It used to be easier to fool people. But I can’t hide the emptiness inside me anymore, can I?

Sorry. Tired. My head’s spinning. Don’t quite know what I’m saying.

[ezrasxfics]

some theatrebunny angst perhaps? maybe gangle feeling as if nobody really cares much about her and jax has to convince her otherwise? :3

(also hi ezra hope your days goin good)

you gotta be kidding me, you have plenty of people who care.

-

ribbun/theatrebunny

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gangle pov

just.. another day. another day of looking at those fake smiles, hearing those forced words of reassurance. i know that none of them actually like me, so why do they have to keep pretending like they do? i mean, i’d hate for them to hate me, but i also hate them having to lie to keep me happy. i don’t want to be a burden.

at least one person doesn’t have to lie.

i glance over at jax, who’s messing with ragatha, as usual. he messes with all of us. it must be lonely, living like he does, but at least people don’t lie and pretend to like him. i can’t deny i’m a little jealous sometimes - he can just.. get people’s true colours out, in a way. it’s actually really interesting to watch.

he catches my eye, and starts to head over here, causing a small panic to set in me. i like being a spectator, not a victim.. is that cruel? i mean, im a cruel person, so why am i questioning that?

“hey, crybaby, how the hell’re you so down with that freakin’ happy mask of yours on?” he questions, and despite the wording, there’s not even a hint of malice behind his tone, just curiosity. surely there’s an ulterior motive, how would someone like him ever be.. well, not nice, but bearable??

“i guess.. i’m just tired of feeling like a- a burden-“ i stammer, looking up at him with wide, worried eyes. “everyone’s always so nice to me.. and i think they feel forced to-“

“bullsh*t,” he interrupts bluntly, making me flinch. “what reason to those guys have to hate you? you’re a decent person. you’ve not really done anything wrong, have ya?”

“i mean.. no, but-“

“yeah, no. it’s a one word answer, babe, and you’ve just finished it. you said no. so, you’ve done nothing wrong, they have no reason t’ hate ya. no ifs or buts, got it?” he interrupts again, eyebrows furrowed in sheer confidence in what he’s saying. but.. why is he being so kind? is he trying to lie like everyone else-? no. what would he have to gain from lying to me.? he’s not gonna risk his whole reputation just for a joke, right?? but, he could-? NO!! no, gangle, for once you need to take things at face value. he’s being nice. accept it and move on. let yourself enjoy the moment, it might be the only time this ever happens.

“yeah.. thank you, jax. i appreciate it— i’m sorry for bothering you-“

“you apologise way too much. it’s kinda pathetic-“ he jokes, but i can see the lightheartedness in it, and actually find myself laughing along.

why am i feeling like this? i’m supposed to hate him.. he’s caused me nothing but suffering since i got here, and yet, here i am, finally getting along with him? hoping things will change, and maybe we’ll be friends..? or more..? okay, maybe i’m being a little delusional on that part.. but i love the enemies to lovers trope, maybe a little too much..! i’m projecting again..

oh well, i guess a girl can dream.

and you know what they say, make your dreams come true.

<3

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hey!! i’m actually doing pretty good, thanks for checking in!! i hope you’re good too, and thanks for the request!!

reblogs appreciated!!

[nostalgic-bee]

Anyway I personally disagree with the opinion that Amity was reduced to just being Luz’s love interest in S2, in s2 she’s still unlearning so much and growing to be her own person

S2E2- she breaks the necklace that her mother gives her and has clearly used to control her for most of her life. She stands up to her mother chooses to stand up for her friends.

EP5- kind of similar to Ep 2. Her hair has been another part of her mother’s control over her, so she dyes her hair differently so that she can pull away from that control.

Ep 9- Amity is unlearning the idea that people will only ever love her if she can prove herself. She’s learning that she is loved unconditionally. ‘All my life I’ve had to justify existing’ shes learning that she doesn’t need to do that anymore.

Ep 11- I’d say her choosing not to look through Luz’s phone for answers was a great way to show character growth. All her life she’s had her own boundaries disrespected and she doesn’t want to do that to Luz

Ep 14- her being patient with Luz even when she’s hiding something. Her trying to connect with her father and admitting she no longer wants to be in the emperor’s coven, her saying she’s making her own choices.

Ep 18- Having to learn what Willow wants from her in their rekindled friendship. Realizing that Willow doesn’t want amity to protect her, having recognize and fix her mistake when she assumes that Willow wants her protection.

Ep 20- she stands up to her mother again and basically decides to cut contact with her.

I guess you could make an argument for season 3 but considering that s3 got cut short and they had a lot to tie up I can forgive that, besides in s3 we see the real Amity, the one who’s caring and a nerd and loves her friends. I do really wish Amity got her own character development moment in S3 but as I said the shortening meant they probably didn’t have time. Despite that I’d say S3 Amity is my favorite but so is S2 Amity.

Basically Amity was never reduced to a love interest even when Lumity became a thing.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

feeling very grateful for the cute barista today who clearly clocked a) my fontaines d.c. tote, and b) the fact i was stuck on a spectacularly bad date, and proceeded to play me an entire playlist of fontaines d.c. and sneak me extra vegan marshmallows with my hot chocolate

[vendettapandav]

“Curly deserved better” “curly deserved so much more” “curly didn’t deserve what happened to him”

No no no no that’s the POINT. Curly is just as bad as Jimmy. He let so many of the giant red flags that tumbled out of Jimmy’s mouth slide. He was told multiple times about the abuse Jimmy was inflicting on Anya. He ignored Anya even when she pushed so far as to hide the gun on the ship bc she genuinely feared what Jimmy would do to her. Curly heard it all- saw it all- and he chose to do nothing. He had every opportunity to intervene before the crash but he didn’t. He chose not to. He blathered on and on about responsibility, about his willingness to do anything for his crew, but when they needed him most he did nothing. He just stood there and watched and let it happen.

And now he can’t do anything. He has lost the ability to make that choice. He physically can’t intervene now. His chance to change things and take responsibility has passed him by. Now, he has to just sit there and watch how the mask formed from all those red flags he so willfully ignored peels away and reveals the monster that was always there beside him. Now, he has to just sit there and watch as one by one, Jimmy manipulates and drives each and every one of the people that he swore up and down he would protect to the very edge, and kills them. Now, he just has to sit there and watch as Jimmy justifies each of his actions by blaming everyone else for the situation he put them in- the situation that Curly allowed him to put them in. He has to sit there and watch as Jimmy does everything in his power to create a palatable, sanitized narrative of what happened all so he can cover up what he was doing.

And Curly chose to stand there passively and allowed all of it until he physically didn’t have a choice anymore.

And in the end, Curly is the only one left to tell the story. The story of how it was all his responsibility, how he was supposed to do anything for his crew. And now, it’s all his fault because he couldn’t do just one thing. He has to live with that fact for the rest of his life. He has to live with the fact that his willful ignorance, his choice not to act, cost four people their lives. He will live with those physical and mental scars forever. But even worse, he has to live knowing that that’s the truth. And that in some cruel, twisted way, Jimmy was right.

The truth doesn’t really get rid of that awful taste in your mouth though, does it?

[ct-multifandom]

I don’t usually make posts like this, but I’ve been seeing a lot of anti-intellectual junk lately, and I really think we need to put the word “pretentious” up on a shelf until people learn what it actually means.

It doesn’t describe someone who likes artsy-fartsy deep meaning media. People who are pretentious are fake. They’re posers trying to be sophisticated and unique, not like other girls. They pretend to only like stuff they think will make them sound cool when they talk about it. They want to act like they know something you don’t, and they want attention for it.

By definition, if you genuinely enjoy something, you can’t be pretentious. If it resonates with you, and you analyze it, and you don’t care what people think, that’s the polar opposite, actually. If you love obscure experimental prog music, if you watch underground high concept indie films through English teacher eyes, if you spend hours in a modern art museum reading each piece as a vessel for storytelling, if your backpack’s full of poetry books that inspire you, if you play underrated games that were someone’s passion project, if you have an interest in studying the classics or the masters, you are not pretentious.

Of course, some people just don’t like some stuff, and that’s fine, but that’s not what this is about. Don’t let anti-intellectuals shame you for enjoying things just because your interests are inaccessible to them, because they refuse to be brave and put effort into critical thinking. You’re not stuck up for refusing to overlook the craft of artists.

[pink-lemonadefairy]

super long big huge tired sigh

[maybeicanbesaved]

got into yet another fight with my mom, again about voting/the election, she said that she’s only voted once in her life and never cares to again because she ‘doesn’t care about politics’, saying that shit almost proudly?? and it set me off for obvious reasons, then she got mad at me for saying it’s because she’s privileged and ‘most’ shit doesn’t affect her directly so she can afford ‘not to care’

[kingquentin]

insane how quickly something small can tank my mood

[flashhwing]

I’m here to say that you may absolutely express negativity about veilguard to me as long as it’s not stupid. hate on it for real reasons, of which there are plenty, most of which I’m ignoring because of the hype but would be glad to discuss in a civilized manner. no forced positivity in this zone this is a safe space. unless your criticism is dumb as fuck then I will point and laugh

[squuote]

I think people should be allowed to share their distaste for certain headcanons n such without people making posts about how they’re ‘gatekeeping’. for as much as I’m a ‘do what you want’ kinda dude, I do think that includes allowing people to express why they don’t enjoy something. like most people are pretty civil bout it until you antagonize them by pointing and saying they’re ‘policing’ spaces.

[once-ina-blue-moon]

tfw you go through an entire day waiting for meetings/calls/people to get back to you just to find 30 minutes before you were supposed to do any given thing that it’s been cancelled so now you’ve wasted the better part of your day waiting & preparing for stuff that didn’t even end up happening and now you have work you have to be doing instead of doing something else that’s actually enjoyable . 🙂

[onehellofakathy]

Natlan was bad…but not Inazuma bad… I feel like the journey was worth it, but most of the characters sucked, and the one(s) who didnt fucking died… I liked all the war sections, and I did cry, but this didn’t please or satisfy me the way Fontaine or Sumeru did. It’s going above Inazuma, in second-to-last place for worst Archon quest. Maybe Snezhnaya will be better and BRING BACK THE DOCTOR TURN UPPP

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

I can’t believe that as they’re recording the cast album we’re still getting people trying to claim VHSCCs isn’t one of their full length musicals

[dreamyberry]

/3.11.24

[calamitydaze]

long tag ramble below u have been warned