#this is a safe space to have opinions. even if I disagree. unless what you’re saying is really stupid

[flashhwing]

I’m here to say that you may absolutely express negativity about veilguard to me as long as it’s not stupid. hate on it for real reasons, of which there are plenty, most of which I’m ignoring because of the hype but would be glad to discuss in a civilized manner. no forced positivity in this zone this is a safe space. unless your criticism is dumb as fuck then I will point and laugh

[moronicromantic]

read your input on "poc friendly", i'm planning to write a fanfic soon... but i want poc to feel like it's a space peaceful to them and so that they can search it up

what'd you think i should do, i'm really new to this :')

oh, and also, can I tag you when I first post my fic?

some people may disagree and that’s fine. these are just my opinions :)

the biggest tip i can give you is to just let people know what they’re getting into :) if the reader you have in mind isn’t white, just write “character name x non!white reader.” if you have a certain race or culture in mind, like maybe the reader is desi, just put “character name x desi!reader.” if you’re just writing a general reader insert that’s open to everyone, just say “character name x inclusive!reader.” content warnings are there if you want to add other details, like eye color (try to avoid adding eye colors for reader inserts unless it’s a fantasy story…like try not to give the reader blue eyes for no reason) or hair length and such. warnings don’t have to be about bad things, they’re just there so people are prepared :)

if you just want poc to feel like your blog is a safe space for them (regardless of if your fic is a reader insert or oc), you could also specify that by literally stating that your blog is a “safe space for everyone” or by having a do not interact list (such as minors dni, homophobes dni, racists dni, and anyone else you don’t want interacting with your blog). the dni list usually goes on people’s pinned posts where they do a rundown on their blog, but you can also list it before your fic starts (like in the area a summary or the content warnings go).

i’m sure you’ll do great regardless. and ofc you can tag me :) everyone’s new at some point and we all learn as we continue. people keep learning even years after they start something too <3 every fic is different and if you want people to feel comfortable, just let them know what they’re getting into. if the fic is good enough i just ignore physical details that don’t match me and pretend they never happened. that’s what our imaginations are for 🙏

each fic is different though, and sometimes authors have different types of characters in mind for their reader inserts. if this didn’t help please lmk and i can go into more detail 😭 i just wanted to give you this for now

[losthomunculus]

Online Safety Relevant to the Current State of the Internet

On twitter I made a tweet about how online safety lessons in school can be very out of touch but that the advice of people who are familiar with the current internet shouldn't be disregarded. So here's my informal collection of online safety tips

Sources: unrestricted internet access since elementary school (not recommended), being a formerly involuntarily home bound person for several years that amassed way too much online experience

This could possibly hold upsetting reminders to people who had bad experiences online including mentions of grooming and emotional manipulation so please proceed with caution!

Information Sharing

Make an online pseudonym for public profiles and websites.

Don’t feel like you have to list everything about you for the world to see.

Sometimes it’s not a question of “can this information be used to locate and identify me irl?”, but simply “do I want this information publicly available and linked to my online persona?”

Unlike offline, being online leaves a constant trail of who you were accessible at all times. People are constantly growing and changing. Try to limit the information you share so you can ditch that trail and start over if need be.

Sharing information with people you make friends with and trust is a judgement call on your part, but always be on the safe side and be protective of your information.

Start as cautious as possible with online safety. Any risks or judgement calls can come later when you are 1. aware of the risks, 2. ready to address them if they occur, and 3. have gathered plenty of information instead of doing something blindly and hoping for the best.

Do not share your triggers publicly, they can very easily be used against you. Instead use websites with a large amount of filtering options to curate your online experience. If you are going to share them, only do it privately with people you trust.

Importance of Boundaries

It doesn’t matter how mature you are, don’t enter age limited spaces you don’t qualify for. It’s disrespectful to the boundaries of the people who made that space. Boundaries like this exist for the comfort of both sides involved.

Just because you can “handle it” doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Desensitization is not something to brag about.

Venting or making r18 posts as a minor on a public account is VERY dangerous. Intense emotional vulnerability is something manipulators will look for as a way to get to you. The same with sexual jokes to develop your comfort talking about those topics casually and eventually escalating the situation. If you are going to talk about such things please keep that in private conversations with people you trust in your age group.

Note the difference between public and private online space. Tweeting something on a public account is not the same as having a conversation in the cafeteria with your friends.

If an adult tries talking to you about r18, run the other way. Doesn’t matter how cool you are, it says something weird about THEM if they’re willing to talk to a minor about that stuff.

If someone( like 3+ years, honestly depends on how old you are) older than you wouldn't be comfortable saying what they're saying to you in front of other people (like a teacher or guardian), that's suspicious as hell. Run in the other direction.

The younger you are, the more age gaps matter. There's a bigger difference in development between a 13 year old and a 17 year old than there is between a 20 year old and a 24 year old. It helps to try to contextualize it with real people instead of numbers. Instead of thinking "oh just 4 years? that's not that weird" consider "oh. that would be like a freshman (13/14) dating a senior (17/18). yikes."

Be just as wary of people your own age talking about things that make you uncomfortable. Just like irl, sometimes you’ll meet people your age that are hurtful.

Friends complain to each other and talk about their issues, that alone is fine. But when people are doing it without permission, draw a line. When people are making it feel like you’re responsible for maintaining their mental health, you need to draw a line. When it starts to effect your mental health, PLEASE DRAW A LINE! I know it feels like your responsibility sometimes, but it’s not. You cannot be there for others if you’re not taking care of yourself first and foremost.

Don’t be afraid to block people. Even for petty reasons. It’s good to block people. Don’t force yourself to see stuff you don’t want to see.

Being Constantly Online

The 24 hour news cycle is not a good thing to follow 24/7. Taking social responsibility is a good thing, but your brain is NOT built to worry about every issue in the world at once. One strategy I use for staying sane is I try to only check the news once a day, and if something needs more attention to set aside an amount of time I’m going to focus on it before I need to take time to step back.

Touch grass. Not literally, unless you can in which case I highly suggest it, sometimes it’s just good to lay in a field. What I mean is you need to dedicate a good portion of your time to being offline (sleep does not count). What your offline time looks like is going to differ depending on your level of ability, but even if you are house bound it’s important to build some hobbies that don’t rely on the internet. Talking to people offline is also a good goal if possible, even just to your housemates.

Social etiquette greatly differs online and offline and sometimes the reminder that were all just Some People gets lost behind the numbers and the fabricated personas. Keep in mind the difference in how information is shared without forgetting that the fact we are all people remains the same.

Be generous with your etiquette. You will avoid a lot of stress if you conduct yourself with the same politeness you would have in an offline interaction. Master the art of "minding your own business" for your own sake.

Arguments and Competition

As soon as you can, you need to internalize the fact that leaving an argument is not losing.

It is inevitable you will be exposed to many people who disagree with you. Some people only want to argue to rile you up. Sometimes that’s not their intention, but it’s what they’re doing. You do not have to remain in conversation with people, especially if they’re not interested in actually coming to an understanding. Even if they are interested, sometimes they just suck!! Leave!! You can leave!!

On that note, sometimes you are going to get valid criticism and it’s going to hurt. That is part of learning. If someone says you messed up and did something hurtful, take a second to step back from your defensiveness and consider: intent ≠ effect. Apologize, repair what you can, and move forward with the ability to do better in the future. You’re going to mess up every once in awhile, it’s inevitable.

To summarize the past two points: don't waste your time on unnecessary hostility but don't close yourself into an echo chamber either. Debates should be about learning.

Sometimes people are not going to like you. This happens offline too but people tend to be a lot more blunt online. Sometimes people dislike you for no reason or for really petty reasons. That’s not your problem, move on.

Don’t actively seek out people you don’t like or who don’t like you to argue with. Whether or not your side is the “right side” doesn’t matter, it’s going to cause you so much unnecessary stress. Feel free to keep posting your opinions on your own profile but don’t seek out unnecessary conflict.

This is a different type of competition than previously mentioned, but be aware of the danger of comparing yourself to other people. Especially if you’re a creative or student, DO NOT GET SWEPT UP IN THE GRIND CULTURE. It’s more subtle in some places than others, but anytime you see the notion that you should be working yourself to the bone be VERY critical. Also be critical of any online cultures (such as gaming and art communities) that brag about unhealthy habits or act like it’s ~part of the culture~ (ex: all nighters, not taking breaks, getting hurt. Any activity that neglects health to work toward a goal).

Not just grind culture, any community of subculture that shares anti recovery sentiments is a huge red flag. Even if they're joking, it's not worth the risk of internalizing those statements.

Everyone’s social media presence is to some degree doctored because it’s a purposefully selected collection of what they allow you to see. It’s fine to like the persona you see being displayed, but never forget that it is not reflective of the entire person. Everyone online is JUST SOME PERSON. Do not forget that and start holding yourself to a standard you can’t even see every side of.

By posting online you are opening yourself to criticism. Whether or not it’s justified can vary, but either way it’s going to happen. Mute stuff, go private, disable comments, etc if you need to.

Misc Tidbits

these are technically just general info that is also good for offline but I have seen things that make me think people online need the extra reminder.

Learn what cults are, how they recruit, and what they do to their members. I'm not kidding. This is particularly relevant at the moment because of current societal unrest and widespread loneliness. No one is immune to cult propaganda, and not every cult is based on pre established religion or family. Many exist ONLINE and are able to manipulate people without ever meeting face to face. (learn more: Loneliness as a Pandemic: The Dangers of Online Cult

Familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience. Please familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience and then learn how to identify pseudoscience. (learn more: Karl Popper, Science, & Pseudoscience: Crash Course Philosophy #8)

Q. How do I know if a source is reliable?

Final Thoughts

It's important people of ALL ages learn these lessons, because the internet is constantly changing and we are all vulnerable when in the presence of other people.

Be cautious and stay safe

[kinktae]

(Hope this ask catches your attention lol) 

OK so lil story, I sent in an asked to another author about one of the plot points in their fanfiction because it just was not making sense to me and they answer back in a really rude way, after I sent them another ass saying oh “I wasn’t trying to be rude, like this is just a genuine question. I’m sorry if it sounded rude” and they proceeded to call me a couple of a…… gross names and said if I “wasn’t smart enough to read fanfiction then don’t do it.” This made me feel a little insecure because not that anyone would/needs to know but I have a learning disability which affects how I read. So this kind of thing is lowkey a fear of mine.  not that they would have any way of knowing this, so I don’t fault them for that but it’s just one of those things if you know what I mean. (Also they were getting flack for being rude so they deleted it which kind of made me feel better that people were not just shitting on me, even when some people were agreeing with the writer)

!!ANYWAY MY POINT IS!!

I’ve been reading your stuff since 2018 and I have sent and asks of all kinds including asking you different questions or talking about your story etc. and I just have to say you are genuinely one of the sweetest writers! You never get annoyed when people ask questions, you’re never rude unless someone is being rude to you, and your writing is so good I have never read a piece of yours that I haven’t been in love with. Your blog is really comforting and I just want you to know that like I appreciate your work so much!!!!  i’ve never had the courage to come off of anonymous and I don’t think I would with this one, but if I ever were to come off anonymous it will definitely be on your blog because I know this is a safe space, not just for different opinions about BTS but just in general. So basically I just wanted you to know that I’m so happy I found your blog.  I really hope you continue writing and doing this so long as it makes you happy, I know as I’m sure many people can agree with me that if you no longer enjoy this I wouldn’t want you to force it just because you have a platform.  I hope you’re having a great day Rose and please continue to be the positive person that you are -✨🤍

First of all let me just say my heart actually BREAKS to see you have an interaction with a fellow content creator like that. What the FUCK. I’ve been pretty vocal about this from the start of my blog… I disagree with A LOT of authors on how they speak to their anons. There are several authors on this platform that I refuse to support solely because of the way they speak to the people that support them.

What I’m about to say is not a popular opinion…. I know this…. I know what it’s like to be hounded for updates or have an anon come across with a possibly malicious tone… and I know the hurt that comes from it. But what I’ve harped back then and still now is that I’d rather be kind to someone who has bad intentions, than be cruel to someone with good ones. Not everyone reads every one of ur previous asks. Not everyone even knows to check ur faq. Not everyone knows how to properly communicate their tone through text. So to berate and bully them when they took the time out of ur day to read ur content and reach out to communicate… well it just doesn’t sit right with me.

I’m seen some real bullshit in my days on this site. I’ve literally seen and author say “lol I can write something less than 2k and have my followers begging me for a sequel.” I’ve seen people call their readers names. It’s as if people lose touch with the fact that without their readers, they HAVE no platform. Bonkers.

(KEEP IN MIND IM NOT REFERRING TO ACTUAL HATE ANONS. Fellow authors, YOURE absolutely in ur right to tear them a new one if an anon is being disrespectful and objectively cruel!!)

At the end of the day, everyone is allowed to run their blog how they please, and everyone is allowed to express their frustration how they seem fit, especially when it comes to something as personal as their creative content, but the way that author treated you was unkind and I’m so sorry you underwent that. I hope you can trust that not every ff writer is like that, and can see that many of us are truly grateful for the readers we DO have, no matter the quantity.

You guys are half of the reason I pour my heart into my fics, in hopes that it will resonate with you and perhaps offer a piece of solace or comfort. Yes I started writing and continue to because I love the means of expression it offers, but it was you guys that gave the words I wrote meaning. It was you guys that found reassurance in the bits and pieces of myself that I put into all my characters. This blog is truly my happy place. And you guys are my people. I love you guys and I love you anon. Thank you for sticking around ❤️

[a-dragons-journal]

Hi! I was scrolling through the otherkin tag (as one does) and saw on an ask you answered that you hated DNIs and didn’t want to go into it on that ask. So I’m curious now- why do you hate DNIs? I don’t have a DNI, and I’m not out to try and change your mind. I’ve just never seen anyone say outright that they didn’t like DNIs, so I’d really like to hear your thoughts. Thanks!

I ended up indeed going into it later, because people kept sending in asks about it, so this tag exists now, but in summary:

- I don't necessarily hate the existence of DNIs, because they can be a useful tool in certain circumstances, but I hate that they're starting to become an expectation/requirement and that it's now considered "creepy/suspicious" in a growing number of communities to not have one. It should not be an obligation to basically list your political stances, discourse opinions, and triggers - you know, things you can be attacked for/people can use to hurt you - in any circumstance, least of all on the Internet where anyone can see it.

- For that matter, putting a list of things that can hurt you in public where anyone can see it and know exactly how to target you if they want to hurt/harass you is a bad idea, whether it's a social requirement or not. Full stop. Unless you are in a relatively small group where you know the intentions of the people there (and often not even then!), it is not a good idea to tell people how to effectively hurt you on the Internet.

- I hate it when people put "[x bigoted group] DNI" at the bottom of actual discussion-type content posts (as opposed to, like, aesthetics and stuff), such as people putting "TERFs DNI" at the bottom of posts about feminism, because a) if you're worried about your post appealing to that group, maybe you should reexamine your post's content, b) I've seen firsthand more than once that those groups, TERFs especially, will purposely put "[x] DNI" at the bottom of their crypto-rhetoric posts in order to turn people's critical thinking skills off and make them more likely to accept the crypto rhetoric (foot-in-the-door tactic), and c) even if it's not intentionally malicious like the last point, it still makes it so the OP's post is suddenly immune to criticism, because "hey this comes off a little transphobic" can be met with "how dare you call me a transphobe?? I said 'TERFs DNI' right there!!1!", which, again, has to do with the whole "turning people's critical thinking skills off" problem.

- On a similar note, I hate this recent trend toward performative activism and "racists/transphobes/homophobes/etc. DNI!1!" feels like another permutation of that; I don’t like people demanding/expecting me to announce all my political opinions right out the gate. It should be my decision whether or not I want to share sensitive information about myself (and if you’re scoffing at the idea of a political opinion being “sensitive information” - if it can get you, again, harassed and attacked by a complete stranger, it’s sensitive information).

- People seem to forget that people can, will, and do lie on their DNIs and bios. Predators will lie about being "under 18” in order to make minors they’re interacting with feel safe and let their guard down. TERFs will lie about “transphobes DNI!” to ensure their crypto rhetoric spreads and gets a foot in the door of trans-supporting people’s thought processes. All “it’s to let the people affected by [bigotry] know I’m safe,” which is something I hear sometimes, really means is that the bigot in question only has to put up a DNI to make the people they’re planning to target lower their guard. There is nothing guaranteeing that someone actually believes what their DNI implies they believe. It’s an illusion of safety that just doesn’t - and, really, can’t - exist on the internet, by the internet’s nature. And people thinking they’re safer than they really are is what gets people hurt because they stopped being careful. I’m not saying people need to (or should) live in fear, but relying on DNIs is not a sustainable solution, imho.

- I hate people using DNIs/BYFs as an alternative to blocklists because it often becomes essentially them forcing other people to curate their internet experience for them, and then getting mad (or hurt) when that doesn't work out for reasons that should be obvious. Especially when you take it to the extreme of trying to regulate anyone who reblogs your posts, which I have seen sometimes - you can't seriously expect people to check the OP of every single person whose post they reblog to make sure they agree with your opinions on fandom discourse; that's untenable and it can only lead to people getting hurt. You are the only person who is - and the only person who can be - responsible for your internet experience. Curate your own space.

- as a minor point, "standard DNI criteria" is becoming a popular phrase and it's frankly a useless phrase because there's no such thing. Beyond "racists/homophobes/transphobes" there's literally no telling what a given person includes in what's "standard" - pro- or anti-ship? SFW agereg/petreg blogs? DDLG? Steven Universe fans? inclusionists or exclusionists? There is no "standard." (But then, I feel like how common that phrase is becoming says something about exactly how performative and empty the trend of DNIs is as a whole at this point in time.)

- also as a minor point, I am frankly just not a fan of how often DNIs put things like "Steven Universe fan" and "neonazi" right next to each other like they're the same level of bad. I recognize consciously that this is not the intention, but it sure does come off that way sometimes. It reminds me a bit too much of those callout posts that have six pages about the person's bad opinions on anime or whatever and only then go "oh yeah and also they sexually abused, threatened, and sent their friends to harass a minor and we have screenshot evidence of all of that. anyway here's three more pages about why their art is bad because they drew a 16-year-old in a crop top one time".

And, let me be very clear here: I do not hate people who have DNIs, nor do I want to act like they're never useful. They are, sometimes! But I do feel they're being misused and they're starting to become an expectation and that's a huge problem, for the same reason that people trying to force everyone to put their age/basic personal information in their bios is a problem - it's a safety concern. I am honestly convinced that at this point, in most circumstances, DNIs are doing more harm than good.

If you want to use a DNI, that's up to you, and it's not like I'm gonna harass people about it ('s why I started that "dni critical" tag, so people could who don't want to read this stuff could avoid it) - but I want people to at least understand the risks they're taking depending on how they go about it. If it's useful to you, then good, I'm genuinely glad! It just concerns me how it's being treated by the larger Internet right now.

(And, of course, that's all just my personal subjective opinion - take what you like, leave what you don't. You're more than welcome to disagree with me; this is not a make-or-break argument for me, just one I have strong feelings about xD)

[its-bound-to-get-loud]

Speculating about sexuality

It’s time to get a little controversial on this blog. Or at least talk about a controversial subject. I’ve recently seen some fandom discourse about this subject from multiple sources. A lot of people have the opinion that discussing a celebrity’s sexuality is a bad thing, something you shouldn’t do. I strongly disagree.

Full disclosure, I’m a Larrie. I’m a 1D fan who believes Harry and Louis are a couple. I’m also a 5SOS fan. Now I know many 5SOS fans seem to be wary of Larries in particular. I know some people have taken it too far sometimes. But also, it’s hard to compare Larry/1D to 5SOS in many ways, because Larry and 1D themselves have done a lot of things to encourage fans looking into things they normally might not. It feels to me as if 5SOS fans saw the things that happened in the 1D fandom, turned around and decided to do the exact opposite. This is a good thing in some ways, but it also leaves no room for critical thinking.

Now back to 5SOS. I’ve had a few conversations about this topic and what it comes down to is this. 5SOS are famous, they live a life that’s (partially) being seen by the public and the media. Now this will sound cold, but it’s a fact: 5SOS are a product. When we interact with them on social media, we interact with a product. In the end they want to keep selling their music to us. In order to do so, engaging with fans is part of their job. It doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy it, it doesn’t mean they’re not genuine. If you work in a supermarket part of your job may be stocking shelves. You have to do it because it’s your job, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it as well.

Part of the product that is 5SOS is their relationships. We see their girlfriends plastered over their social media, they mention them in interviews, etc. That’s not something they HAVE to do generally speaking. If we are to assume that (for argument’s sake) all 3 current 5SOS relationships are genuine, then they don’t have to show us their girlfriends if they don’t want to. This means they either choose to do so, because that’s what they want, or these girlfriends are being presented to us for a reason (PR, bearding, etc.). Which of these it is, is for you to decide. Both options make them become part of the product. We are allowed to question that product, since we are the ones consuming it. If the person in question has made comments that can be regarded as them hinting at not being straight they open the door even further. You cannot tell someone to come over and then slam the door in their face because they get too close.

If 5SOS want to they can keep their relationships private. Their social media profiles are not the same as ours. They are a representation of the product they are. A representation of their image. That’s why celebrities often have private profiles as well, where they can share private things that they don’t want to share with the public.

The 5SOS girlfriends themselves are a product as well. They all have careers that involve being in the public eye, they are just as well selling us a version of themselves. 2 public people dating does not mean we automatically HAVE to see that they are dating. Celebrities can keep things a secret or low-key if they want to. In fact, I’d dare to argue they have more tools to do so than you and I.  

You can look at it like this, if I’m buying a laptop I’m doing research online, I’ll check out reviews. I’ll ask questions at the store. I question the product before I buy it. That’s not that different from what we do as fans. Before we buy their music we question if this is a product we want to buy. Most of the time that’s an unconscious decision we make. Sometimes a product can becomes unsatisfactory after a while and we choose to move on from it. I know it sounds cold, but it’s not that different with celebrities. If 5SOS keep showing me their public girlfriends on their public social media, I get to question that. If I come to the conclusion that I think that what they are telling me is false. I get to discuss that. Being a fan does not equal always taking things at face value.

There’s also a double standard in this fandom. Some people are more than willing to yell about how problematic and toxic the girlfriends are in their opinion. Which means they are allowed to poke into (what they think is) a real relationship between 2 people. When Luke says Teeth is about Sierra, they question his words and don’t hesitate to say their relationship is toxic. But when it comes to sexuality suddenly that’s a no go. I am absolutely not a fan of the way some of the way girlfriends behave. As long as this happens in a fandom environment I am also fine with talking about that. But if you disapprove of one thing and then do something similar, maybe it’s time you start practicing what you preach or leave people to have their own opinions.

This doesn’t mean you should tell the guys directly that you think their relationship is not real or that you think they are not straight. You don’t harass their friends, their crew, and their family about this. Discussing a celebrity’s sexuality/relationship should stay limited to fandom spaces. With social media it’s a lot easier for celebrities to see what we say about them. Therefor I always suggest being mindful of what you say (they may be a product, but they are still people). Personally it’s why I enjoy Tumblr, because most celebrities don’t go on here and (most of the time) we can safely discuss things that are more difficult to discuss in a place like Twitter. I will say, just because we are questioning a product, it doesn’t mean we get to be rude in the process. You generally don’t go to the store and start yelling at the salesperson if you don’t agree with what they tell you.

People seem to think it’s disrespectful to say someone is gay. Why? Is there anything wrong with being gay? Absolutely not. We live in a society that’s very heteronormative, being straight is seen as the “default” sexuality. It should not be. If you’re going to argue that it’s disrespectful to say someone is gay, then please also don’t assume they are straight. You can have personal thoughts, sure. I have personal thoughts on the specific sexuality of the guys in 5SOS as well. But I keep in mind that my personal thoughts aren’t a fact. I could be wrong. So unless someone has specifically stated their sexuality it’s best to not assume anything and keep an open mind.

Then finally I want to briefly touch on a topic that goes hand in hand with what I’ve talked about: shipping. Some people have a problem with shipping when it comes to real people. For some people shipping is just enjoying the idea of 2 people together even if you think they aren’t. While other people truly believe in that relationship. There’s nothing wrong with any of that as long as it doesn’t become invasive. It all comes back to what I’ve said before. We are consuming a product. The relationships between the 5SOS guys are a huge part of that product. The chemistry between them is part of why we love them. I’m not saying they are pretending to like each other. I fully believe their chemistry is genuine, but it does help sell the product. It also means that sometimes the guys/their team plays into that chemistry to sell the product.

They guys should not have a problem with fans shipping them together, because it’s not up to them to decide that. They sell us their relationships, so we get to form opinions about that. If we stay in our own fandom space and do not become invasive by showing them or people around them fandom content (fics, headcanons, manips, etc.). Then they should not come into our spaces and invade stuff we enjoy in that space. I get super uncomfortable whenever I see celebrities reading fanfiction or being read fanfiction. Fanfiction about them is not for them. It’s made for fans to enjoy and they should stay away from that. I want to encourage you to go and read this answer* about shipping real people. Because sometimes other people’s words say it better than my own words ever could.

With that we have reached the end of this post. As usual I am always open to discuss this in an adult manner. If you feel like you have anything to add to this discussion, feel free to send me an ask/dm. Or reply to this post. If you like/agree with what I write I would love it if you reblogged this post. That’s the only way more people can see it. My blog is small, so reblogs are very much needed to keep the discussion going. Don’t think of coming in my inbox and yelling at me how everything I said is wrong and bad and awful, because it is only going to get you blocked. If you don’t agree, that’s fine, but I’m not going to tolerate any hate.

Finally, just because you are allowed to speculate and question whatever 5SOS or any other celebrity/influencer tells you, doesn’t mean you have to. If that’s not your cup of tea, then that is more than fine. The reason I wrote this post is because we need to stop making people who think critically about the things they are being told, feel guilty about what they do.

* Please note that the author of this post does not have anything to do with what has been written in this post. If you have a problem with anything in this post, please direct it to me and not them.

[bumblebee-moreno]

LGBT EDUCATION EVENT

I posted a bit ago to see who might be interested in an event for anyone to ask me any question they want about my LGBT identities, or the LGBT community in general, and there seemed to be quite a bit of interest, so here we are!

Event goes from midnight to midnight March 30 (starts in 5 minutes, lasts for the full 24 hours).

For those of you who don’t know me (you can skip this part if you already know who I am):

My name is Bumblebee, but you can call me Bee. I am white and use he/they pronouns. I am FTM nonbinary, queer, demisexual, and polyamorous. I work part-time at a non-profit targeted towards trans youth. At the non-profit, I moderate our 24/7 chat (I’m not the only moderator, don’t worry, I do sleep), am a facilitator for our middle school support group (When one of our high school facilitators cannot make it, I also step into that group occasionally). I also help create and present workshops (We are currently in the process of creating a presentation for Microsoft). My other job is as a receptionist for a Veterinary Clinic. (For safety reasons, I will not be sharing which nonprofit I work at, or which veterinary clinic I work at. If, for some reason you find out where I work, please keep this information to yourself). I was diagnosed with ADHD in February, and was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder two years ago. I have lived in the USA my whole life, and was raised in a non-religious household. My extended family is mostly Christian, with a few relatives who are Norse Pagan (we are originally from Norway). I am agnostic.

The purpose of this event:

Education. That’s literally it. I’ve noticed a lot of misconceptions about the LGBT community, and want to combat that with a good ol’ fashioned Q&A.

Here are a few rules before we start:

(I do have a TL/DR at the bottom, but if you have the time, I encourage you to read the full thing)

- This is a safe space.

This means a few things: You can ask any question you like and I will not be offended. Nothing is to be taken personally, it will always be assumed that you are trying to learn, unless you’ve clearly proven otherwise. If you’re hurt by something someone (including myself) has said, you’re free and encouraged to say something about it. All identities are welcome. Everything will be tagged with appropriate content warnings (If I don't tag something you need tagged, let me know and I will happily tag it!)

- Who can participate:

Anyone wanting to learn about anything LGBT, including but not limited to:

Cisgender/heterosexual people who want to become better allies, Writers who want to learn how to be more inclusive, People questioning their gender/sexuality, literally anyone prepared to be respectful to anyone else participating

(I do want to note: this event is open to NSFW conversations. If you are uncomfortable with this, please filter the tag “adult conversations”.)

- Any question is okay to ask.

This is a space for everyone to learn, regardless of their prior knowledge. I will never get offended by a question. I will not be offended by the phrasing of a question. If I am not comfortable answering something, I will explain why, but I will not be annoyed. Part of learning is making mistakes, and I want to be courteous to that.

I am super open, so I will answer almost every question, regardless of how personal it is, with a few exceptions (see the “my boundaries” point.

Yes, this means you can ask questions that you’ve been previously told never to ask. I want to clarify though: I will make it clear when a question is inappropriate to ask in normal circumstances. Since I am telling you beforehand that it’s okay to ask personal or private questions, it is acceptable to do so in this context. However, I will always add a note explaining why you shouldn’t ask people this in other circumstances so that it’s still clear which questions I am making exceptions for.

- My boundaries

I’m not going to share identifying information. That includes: My legal name, where I live, where I work, photos of myself, etc.

I’m not going to share my deadname either, though I am willing to have conversations about deadnames themselves.

I’m not going to share what my plans for bottom surgery are. I am fine to talk about bottom surgery itself, I am fine to share where I’m at right now, and have next to no boundaries about top surgery. But I’m not going to share what my plans for whether or not I’m getting bottom surgery are.

I’ve worked as a receptionist and trans advocate for long enough that I take nothing personally. Because of this, I ask that if you need to get upset or aggressive about something related to this event, please come to me directly instead of attacking a participant. I’d rather you send me hate than sending it to someone who is trying to use this safe space as a learning opportunity. This includes if you’re frustrated with a participant. I’m happy to facilitate a healthy conversation about a disagreement, but I will not tolerate anyone attacking others.

- Hate will be blocked.

When you’re talking directly to me, I’m going to assume you’re well-intentioned. HOWEVER. If you’re directly attacking others who are involved in the conversation, you will be blocked. If you have a problem, please come to me and I will work to resolve it. Sending hate to people other than myself is in violation of the safe space.

- My intention is never to speak over anyone

I don’t know everything about every identity. As a white person, I experience white privilege. As someone who passes as male about 80% of the time, I experience male privilege. I am able-bodied. I try my very best to educate myself, but I am still learning (and always will be).

If I speak on an identity that is not my own, I will always add a note to clarify this. I will only be speaking from the stories shared with me by people who have that identity, and from the additional research I have done.

MY WORDS ARE NEVER THE ONLY TRUTH. I cannot say this enough. Don’t take my words over those of someone who uses a specific label. Even if I also use that label. Everyone experiences the world differently. My words are a STARTING POINT. Please be aware that other opinions and experiences exist. I will try my best to have resources paired with every conversation so you can further your learning, but please be aware that I cannot teach you everything.

If I don’t know the answer, I will do research as well as provide you with sources.

- No question will go unanswered

Yes, this includes questions that come across as “disrespectful”. I have said this already, but I will always assume good intentions unless it’s proven that you’re coming from a place of malice. If a question is phrased in a way that comes across as harmful in any way, I will still answer it AND explain why you should ask it differently in the future or not ask it at all going forward.

If I don’t respond within 2 hours, please message me again: I either didn’t receive it or I am still writing my response. I don’t want to miss anyone just because you think I’m ignoring you, I promise I’m not.

The ONLY time I won’t answer a question is if you’ve made it clear that you’re only here to attack the people using this safe space (I will have already asked you to leave).

- If something upsets you, don’t ignore it.

If you’re hurt by something I, or someone else said, please let me know. My intentions are never to hurt or upset anyone.

You can disagree with people, including me, as long as you’re polite about it.

If you need me to talk to someone for you, I’m happy to do so. If you want a private conversation with me, my DMs are open. If you want to stay anonymous but don’t want your questions posted, use this 🌙 emoji (or just say so), and I’ll make a post trying my best to answer your question without sharing the contents of the ask itself.

I don’t expect you to educate me as to why you’re upset by something: that’s not your responsibility, I can educate myself. I do appreciate anyone willing to talk about differing views or why something upset them, but that is not the purpose of the event and you are under no obligation to educate anyone else. I will do my research the moment someone says something bothered them.

- Please don’t weaponise my words.

Please don’t use anything said here as a way to attack people. This event is to educate people. I hope there’s nothing said here that can be manipulated to hurt people, but I didn’t want to leave this unsaid; the point of this isn’t to attack people who are uneducated, it’s to help educate them.

- Most importantly: Please come into this with a desire to learn

This event won’t be helpful if you’re determined to not learn anything. The purpose of this is to ask questions and learn something. I can’t decide for you that you want to learn. I can’t force you to learn. You have to be willing, or this may seem very pointless to you. I’m not trying to change opinions or beliefs, I’m just trying to spread a little education. If you’re unable to take my words and really think about them, this may not be the space for you, but that’s up to you to decide.

Any topic is okay!

This includes (but isn’t limited to):

- Writing LGBT characters (such as how to incorporate same-sex representation without fetishizing gay people, writing for gender-neutral or non-female readers, making content trans-friendly, etc.)

- What to do when someone you care about comes out

- Coming out

- Transition-related questions (HRT, surgery, binding/tucking, deadnames, etc.)

- Defining terms or labels you’re unfamiliar with

- Working out your feelings about something (such as something you saw in media and need to talk to someone about)

- Various laws (questions about laws may take up to 3 hours to answer, as I would have to research your particular area, depending on the question)

- Literally any other question you can think of that has to do with the LGBT community in any way, these are just some ideas off the top of my head to get y’all started.

TL;DR: This space is open to anyone, any topic, any question just please be open-minded and respectful!

(Just like my first post, I’m including tags for the Pedro fandom because I’ve seen a lot of issues within that community, but this is open to anyone that wants to participate, regardless of what interests you have.)

@phoenixhalliwell

[faustonastring]

How would the main six react the the mc wanting to start a family?

Thanks for requesting I hope you like it!

My request are open!

Main six reacting to Mc wanting to start a family!

Psa! Please read before reading!

Heheh hi, so I’m like halfway through writing this and I just want to say, that there are two voices that go into wanting to start a family, just because you want too, doesn’t mean your partner may want to (atleast at the moment) I pride myself on writing the main six as accurately as I can, so I’m keeping this in mind while writing it, they still will all follow the prompt, but I’m also writing the bumps in the road that happen along the way (hopefully this makes more sense when you read it) also like half of them have some sort of childhood trauma sooo... read with an open mind.

Asra

Are you being serious? Like really serious? This is t a prank is it? If it is he’ll cry. Don’t make asra cry. Tell him your being serious. Tell him you want to start a family with him. It makes his heart flutter everytime.

He’s waited years for you to tell him this. Decades even, (depending on your time line) and yet your here. Asking him to start a family. He never thought he’d get the chance. He never thought he’d ever get the chance... but I guess all his hard work is really paying off huh.

I mention this a lot, but Asra has a lot of trauma. It doesn’t just go away when you both say I love you, or get married, or decide you want a kid. Sure it gets better over time, but it will probably take atleast a decade for those wounds to fully heal (and that’s being generous) so, as excited as asra is to want to start a family with you, if it’s too early in your relationship, he might have to decline for now. Ask him again in a year or two.

But if you do manage to get Asra ‘Commitment issues’ Alnazar to agree, he want to do it right. He wants his kid to have a better childhood than he had, so he obviously goes to his parents for help. Often. They obviously don’t mind though, they are thrilled to be having a grandchild. (also if your going to adopt, asras gets very sentimental, and wants to adopt all the kids, in the orphanage (let’s say Nadia builds one after the uprights-) and leaves crying, everytime.)

Nadia

Are you sure? You do know how much time and effort you need for kids right? Don’t worry about the money though, the money isn’t the problem, the problem is: is she going to have time in her schedule to raise one or more kid(s)

I mean her parents did it what? Seven times??? And they were ruling over a whole country weren’t they? How hard can it be???? She’ll be fine. Yep. There is nothing to worry about, she’s decided. As long as your on board for it, she’ll make room for as much time as you need. Besides, it’s much easier to rule with you with her.

She has books on top of books, on top of books on how to be a good mother. I mean she had a good mother, and great sisters sure- but she doesn’t want to mess this up for you. She knows how much it means to you, and besides, being a good mother is much more difficult than being a good ruler. Any one can rule, but only a select few can properly raise a kid.

As soon as her family finds out that your planing on starting a family, they book it to vesuvia to give the both of you all the support and tips you need. And when the kid does get here, they always find it hard to part ways. It’s been a while since a new Satrinava has entered this world. Also having her family near reminds Nadia that she doesn’t need books to be a good mom. You’re here with her the both of you are going to do fine. Hopefully.

Julian

He thinks you’re joking at first. Him? Really??? Bold of you to assume that a no good drunk like him would make a good father. Am I right? It’s not like he’s canonically great with kids, helped raise his baby sister and protected her from a shipwreck, or anything. Hahaha. You my friend. Are very bold.

Julian needs a moment or two to think things over, it’s nothing against you, no no no it’s not that! You’re his love! His light! His one and only! His darling! He’d never mean to offended you! He just needs to think it over, figure out if this is the right time to start something this big. If he’s in the right mental state for it. If he’s not? He’ll let you know when he is.

But if he is ready? Ohhohoho buckle up baby because you got a long journey ahead of you! He’s reading up on child development, digging up old notes he has from the very few times he’s had child patients (he’s also researching more about pregnancy, if you can and want to go down that road with him...but I wouldn’t let him deliver the baby if I were you....if you asked him he’d probably reluctantly do so....but...it’s probably best if you leave that to a professional)

Mazelinka and Portia give you and Julian are the best recipes they can find, and Portia will knit or sew, or crochet, he’ll maybe all three- little toys for your kid when the time gets closer. They will one hundred percent be on board with this, and volunteer to baby sit everytime the two of you need some alone time

Portia

Yes. She doesn’t need to think to long or hard about it. The answer is yes. One million times yes! Yes, yes yes yes yes yes! She is over joyed to be honest! She is also going to be a great mom.

As long as the time is right, and you are alright, everything is going to be alright! Every thing is going to be great! She’s going to be a great mom....right? She’s never really had a mom....well she’s had grandmas that counts right? What if she isn’t a good mom? What if she screws something up? Or her kid hates her? What if they like her brother more than her? (*looks at camera like in an episode of the office*)

Tell her you believe in her. That she’s going to be a great mom! That you’ll be there to help her. Portia has a lot of insecurities and self doubt, so it really means a lot to her. And as soon as she’s mentally prepared- everyone and their mother knows about your plans.....”sorry! It just kind of slipped out....and then people started telling their friends and families...and...uhhhhh”

Julian would not only be a good dad, but a pretty decent uncle too! (Also again, if your pregnant...he gives you his card ;)....but not only for your safety but for your babies safety please throw it away, he’s not professionally trained to deliver-) While your waiting for things to get settled, get ready to hear an ear full of stories from when Portia and Julian were kids!

Muriel

Him? When you first ask him he actually does a double take and looks around to make sure you were asking him. But who else would you ask? The chickens? He just doesn’t see why you would want to do that with....him. Him of all people. You chose him.

He isn’t sure what to say at first, he’s going to need about three to five buissnes days to think it over. No matter how much he wants this....he just isn’t sure. It has nothing to do with you really. He tries to make that as clear as possible but...can he trust him self with a kid? Obviously you trust him, and you know he won’t do anything, but this isn’t about what you think. He needs to figure it out on his own.

In three to five business days, if he says no....ask again in maybe a year or two. ( I know it’s long but you’ll have a higher chance of him saying yes if you wait longer, you can’t push things onto him, that never works.) but if he says yes? Well he doesn’t. You’ll catch him whittling things like toys, or a crib, or a bed, and if you ask what it’s for, he’ll say “for our kid/baby” Our.

He asks asra like a million questions, he gets books, and starts going out into town more to get the softest blankets and clothes. He grew up thinking he was a burden. A waste of space. He grew up thinking he was t alowed to have nice things. He doesn’t want his kid to ever go through that. His kid is going to grow up in the most loving and safe house any one can grow up in. I swear by it.

Lucio

What do you mean by start a family? Like adopt more pets.....or.....the other kind of family. Oh you mean the other kind? Like the human, fleshy kind? Are you sure? Kids are so gross aren’t they? They cry and throw up and you have to take care of them for soooo long-

Look, lucio is a very.....complex..character. I don’t think he’s totally evil but he does have a lot of problems that would take a lot of time to go through before I think he’s mentally prepared to have a kid. What’s intresting about lucio is that he has a lot of layers to him. Like ogres. Which makes him very difficult to write, especially when I don’t know where we’ll end up at the end of his route so- I’m sorry lucio stans, but unless you’ve been together for like 20-30 years...

this is just how I headcanon it, other people I know will disagree and say he’d love to have a mini him running around which is valid.... but...I think he’d be scared to have a mini him running around, because of how bad he turned out, and he wouldn’t want to raise his kid like how morga raised him, but we tend to follow in are parents footsteps when raising a kid, wether we like it or not, so...

I’m sorry this is more of a meta than a headcanon I just don’t really know how to write it....lucio would be against it. He isn’t ready. Not ready for the responsibility, not ready to take the risk of the mistakes his kid is going to make. Once he cleans up all his oopsies, and quite possibly gets on good terms with his mother, then maybe just maybe you’ll have a standing chance, besides... he does want an heir ya’know (but if the two of you make an oopsie together and you want to keep it, go ahead. He needs to start taking more responsibility when it comes to his mistakes, so what a great place to start! besides who would he be to tell you what to do with your body.)

Thanks for reading! I can redo Lucios if some one wants... I really just need ideas because it’s too early In his route to really be able to tell how he handles it, so I’d love to hear your opinions on it!

Next headcanon: main six reacting to Mc’s sleepy voice! (5/23)

Request are open!!!!!

[ladyinbooks]

Ok, I’ve been um-ing and ah-ing over whether to post this or not (mostly because I am absolutely not here to upset anyone, only to have a good time). But stuff it. I’ve been chugging salty tea today, and this wouldn’t leave me alone.

So I’m going to have a (not-so) little grumble about writing, authors, and why authors should pipe down. (And I apologise in advance for the length of this, and the fact it’s not altogether coherent.)

I also want to preface this by saying you are, of course, free to disagree with me. :)

I wandered into a fandom last week, mostly just to have a peek over the barricades and see if there were any fics I liked. It’s a relatively small fandom, and the books it’s based on are moderately popular.

And lo, within thirty seconds, I had stumbled across shipping wars. Again.

(At this point I need to add: I don’t like shipping wars. I am absolutely a ‘ship and let ship’ kind of person, who doesn’t give two hoots what anyone else is shipping, as long as we’re all having fun and nobody’s getting hurt.)

Arguments were going back and forth, but one of the points I kept seeing made over and over by a certain group of shippers was: ‘But the author doesn’t like ship X. They specifically said it would never be endgame, and it was toxic.’ This was, I believe, meant to be the ‘winning’ argument.

And my reaction was: ‘So?’

Which brings me to Point 1 - Your ship does not have to be canon.

The whole point of fanfiction (and to a lesser extent fandom), is that it’s a transformative experience. The dynamics you’re interested in exploring outside of a canon setting are exactly that: outside the canon setting. You are taking original source material, and creating something different; exploring something new. This includes ships.

It therefore seems strangely reductive to point to a non-canon ship and go ‘Ah ha! Wrong! Because it’s not endgame and not canon!’

That’s... kind of the point?

Fandom shipping shouldn’t have to be about a ship becoming canon. It’s not about ‘winning’ that race over all the other shippers. Fandom shipping is quite literally about going ‘Hey, I found the potential dynamics of these two characters interesting, and I want to explore that.’

But Lady, the author said it was a toxic ship!

And my reaction is still: ‘So?’

Point 2 - The author is not God in a fandom space.

The author can tell you their opinion on a ship. They can tell you their intention. But they cannot tell you what you can and can’t ship. And their opinion certainly shouldn’t be weaponised against shippers, who are writing about a pairing the author disapproves of.

For thousands of years, human beings have been taking well known stories and rewriting them. This isn’t new; it isn’t revolutionary. Authors create fascinating worlds, and people want to explore them, and the characters that inhabit them.

But as an author, you also don’t then get to dictate how people explore that world and those character (and that includes shipping). People relate to different characters; they may not see the same traits in a character you do; they may be fascinated by the possibility of exploring safely, in fiction, a relationship they know full well is portrayed as toxic.

Which brings me to my third point.

Point 3 - The author is not God at all.

Taking the theme from Point 2 and applying it more widely, I want to reiterate what I said: an author can tell you their opinion on an element of their work, and they can tell you their intention when writing. But they cannot tell you that you have misinterpreted their book and its narrative.

I know this is hotly debated, and I apologise, but I come down firmly on the side of: there is no one ‘correct’ interpretation. (I know, I know, a background in Classics gives me a bias, where we all reinterpret the same single piece of source material over and over, because we have nothing else.)

Every single reader who picks up a book will have a slightly different reading experience. We all bring unconscious bias with us; we all bring personal preferences. We all have different backgrounds, formative experiences and viewpoints.

Which means we are never, ever all going to read a book in the same way.

And that also means the author is never going to be able to create only one interpretation of their book.

So.

You can disagree with the author.

There, I said it.

I’m just going to use Icarus, Burning here as a quick example. I can talk about my ideas around IB pretty much forever. I can (and do!) excitedly ramble about it, and overthink things, and generally make an idiot of myself. And I’m lucky enough to have bumped into some amazing people on here who let me do it!

But.

I also firmly and completely believe that whilst I can tell you what I was aiming for when writing IB, you can disagree with me and your opinion is equally valid. You will see what I can’t; you will bring interpretations to it that I hadn’t even thought of.

This applies to anything within the text, and anything outside of it too.

For example, I can tell you that Samiel and Jay went on to live a long and happy life together, and nothing ever tore them apart again. That’s fine. That’s what I wanted to happen, and it’s what I’ve done my best to show as the likeliest outcome. However, you can disagree. You can think that it was a love forged in a time of conflict, and it’s not going to last during peace time.

Are you wrong?

No.

I may disagree with you; I may not especially like that interpretation. It doesn’t mean it’s incorrect. All it means is you’ve taken the story I’ve created, applied your own interpretation to it, and reached a different conclusion.

And that is exactly as it should be.

I mean, there are courses on this. You can go to university and study interpreting narratives. Literature degrees are quite literally about textual interpretation.

Do we ask Byron what he was thinking? Or Wilde? Have we gone back and decided that unless Homer specifically tells us that Achilles and Patroclus were shacked up together as romantic partners, we can’t possibly view their relationship in this light? (Aeschylus and Plato would disagree with you, by the way, but they too are bringing their own experiences and biases.)

Which is a very long-winded way of me saying: fandom (and wider readership) seems to have forgotten it’s not possible to interrogate a text from the wrong perspective.

Can you have your opinion? Yes. Does that mean the author has to agree with you? No. Does that automatically mean the author’s viewpoint on the work trumps yours? No.

In short: readers shouldn’t use an author’s ‘Word of God’ to prove a point, and authors shouldn’t either.

The author wrote the book, the author let it loose in the universe.

And now it’s up to everyone else how they want to engage with it.

[universallywriting]

So, like... Is the Steven Universe fandom unaware of how confession blogs work? Lol

I'm seeing people argue and get so upset at the blog's existence. Guys. Confession blogs exist so people can get their controversial and unpopular opinions out, so they don't have to hide it and might even have the chance to find people who feel the same way they do.

Negativity is, in fact, not the end of the world. You can criticize a show, even find it problematic and bad in places, while still loving it.

I mean, block it if you need to, but if you're mad it exists and think it should get deleted that's not very nice. People deserve to express their opinions, even those you don't like. Unless it's like, promoting fuckin fascism or something.

Confession blogs are a safe space to deliver hot takes. Basically every fandom has one. They're good. They're healthy. All our faves are problematic, and it's seriously not the end of the world to acknowledge that different people have different views on what representation, writing, character beats, etc., are good.

I think the POC rep is pretty great in SU. Other people think it portrays POC as more violent and stupid. I can disagree, I can argue, but at the end of the day, most of the feelings you take home about representation in media are subjective, and their take is probably just as valid as yours.

But, like... It's okay, guys. If you don't want to engage, just block and move on, and let people have their spaces to complain.

It's seriously completely normal and healthy.

[phati-sari]

RE "A reminder that sending an ask that is entirely your opinion" wow ..I feel like todays post was talking about me, I understand you are a very good writer and your arrogance here maybe warranted. But I I honestly thought your thoughtful detailed posts about the story warranted thoughtful observations or questions, I didn't that offering any observation or insights of my own after posing a question would be considered "using your platform to your thoughts and hoping I agree with them" rude!

Hi!

It was not about you -- it was not about anyone. I’m sorry the reblog hurt you.

I periodically reblog that post, the facts post, and a few other ones. New followers don’t always understand what this blog is -- many mistake it for an india forums like space where they submit views and I comment on them. I’m not, and never have seen myself as, a gatekeeper into the fandom. I don’t think people need to run their thoughts, headcanons or interpretations by me for some sort of approval. They are better off making their own posts on Tumblr :)

I’m flattered that anyone would send me any observations or opinions. But I remain unclear on what I’m meant to do with them. The sheer volume of messages I get means that I can’t answer every single one. And I don’t think it’s appropriate, most of the time, so respond to other people’s opinions unless the person creates a space for me to do so.

There’s also the fact that people tend to get hurt if I disagree with them. I’ve had ~debates~ with people before. They almost always turn ugly. I have learned the hard way that when people send me a message that’s entirely their opinion, they aren’t looking for my opinions. They’re looking for agreement, and sometimes, kudos for their thoughts. When I feel like I’m in a safe space (read: when I have a relationship with the person asking) I will respond.

I’ve never had a problem with someone asking me a question and then giving me their own opinion. (I do dislike being given choices between those opinions!) You’ll notice, though, I usually just offer my opinion and refrain from commenting on theirs (unless there’s something that needs to be addressed).

People have been sending in quotes from their favourite media (books, poetry) and I haven’t heard of most of it. I don’t even know how to respond. People send in memes without any context. I have no idea what I’m supposed to with them? The same person obviously submitted to @jalebi-weds-bluetooth, and she loved it and wants to make gifs, but ... I can’t have people anonymously submitting memes into this blog! This has never been that kind of space. There is no room here for other people’s opinions if I’m not given the space for my own. If that makes me arrogant and others nice then ... okay ... but I don’t see how me setting a boundary is arrogance. I’m allowed to have different boundaries.

I need these boundaries. I’ve tried running this blog without them and it doesn’t turn out well for anyone. To me, the boundaries are simple -- be polite, read the FAQ, don’t ramble, make it easy for me to answer, don’t treat me like Google.

And I don’t understand (have never understood) why people need to frame their criticism as “you write well but ...”. I’m forever grateful and flattered that anyone reads anything I’ve written. But publishing things online hasn’t made me less of a person, and it hasn’t made me into a public figure, and honestly, you’re not my customer. I’m just a person, I don’t owe anyone a voice on my own blog, on my one (1) sanctuary.

I don’t think I’ve been rude, but I am sorry you felt the reblog was directed at you and that it’s caused no small amount of upset.

[vampiregirl1797]

Bad Days End With Cuddles

GIF Not Mine.

 Summary: You have an argument with your father, but what else is new? You’re left feeling sad, anxious and wishing your profiler boyfriend was home. Don’t worry, he gets there eventually and when he does, cuddles are in store.

 Warnings: Some family inspired angst but it ends in fluff, I promise.

 Click Here For Masterlist.

 Word Count: 2,230.

 Spencer Reid x Reader

 Today was a bad day. There were perhaps more eloquent ways of describing it, but that’s what I was going with. It was bad. It hadn’t started out that way; the morning and most of the afternoon had actually been pretty normal. I woke around noon, had some toast for breakfast and spent most of the day watching the Big Bang Theory on Netflix. All was well, until I received that phone call from my father. He spent fifteen minutes yelling at me for a post I’d shared on Facebook with some of my thoughts added onto it. Apparently he disagreed and spent a quarter of an hour yelling his opinions, not listening to what I had to say, and telling me I had no right to be angry because it was his opinion. The phone call ended with tears forming in my eyes and a lump of despair in my gut. That was how most conversations with him ended, and I don’t know why I hoped for something different every time I picked up the phone.

Since I’d moved out four years ago, things had been better, but that just meant my interactions with him were now minimised, it didn’t have any affect on how the conversations ended, which was usually with me in tears.

 I always felt bad for even thinking it, but my life with my father in it had meant unhappiness for me. When I lived at home, I was constantly walking on eggshells, taking care with my words when it actually came to speaking to him. I was never completely relaxed whenever he was home, because I knew how quickly his temper could change. He wasn’t physically abusive, but knowing he could go from joking to furious in a three second interval prevented me from feeling comfortable in my own house. Which was why it was such a relief when I could finally afford to move out and buy an apartment of my own. It hadn’t been anything fancy, but it was big enough for me, fairly close to work, and most importantly it was mine. Somewhere I could be me; somewhere I could be completely relaxed. It was a place where I could leave the place a complete mess and decide when I wanted to clean it up, rather than living under one roof with three other people and being anxious as to whether my dad would target his anger in my direction when the messy house was suddenly unacceptable.

 It was my safe haven, and it stayed that way until I met my boyfriend a year and a half after I’d moved in. Spencer Reid, special agent for the FBI, behavioural analyst, doctor and love of my life. We’d met when he’d passed through my hometown with his team to catch a serial killer who was engraving pentagrams into his victims’ foreheads. I’d been interviewed as I’d treated one of the victim’s a few hours before his death at the ER, where I’d worked as a nurse. Something had sparked between us, and I thought I’d imagined it until he returned the following day after the unsub had been caught, to ask me for my number.

 We kept in touch as best as we could, both of us worked long hours, but him especially. But we made a point to make time for one another, whether it be a random text at any hour of the day, or a phone call that stretched from five minutes to five hours depending if we both had the time or not. And despite the distance, I had been happy to have him in my life, I looked forward to hearing his voice, or checking my phone on my break at work to be greeted by a text from him. Weekend trips were managed once a month, I went to him a few times, but usually he came to me, eager to create some distance between him and Virginia for a few days. He loved his job, but he confided that a little space to be with me and to only have to focus on me was somewhat of a reprieve for him, something he didn’t realise just how much he needed until he met me.

 This continued for six months, until I realised that my sanctuary lost its calm, its tranquillity when he left me after our weekends together. He had become my happy place, my home. So, I’d tentatively proposed the idea of me moving to Quantico so that we could be closer. He’d beamed at the idea and just as bashfully asked me to live with him instead. I’d accepted, and now here I was, at our apartment on one of my rare days off, crying, anxious, frustrated and hurt. Spence was on a case here in Virginia, which meant he was working from their home base. I briefly considered calling him, but I banished that thought before it could fully form. He needed to be fully present at work and I’d never forgive myself if my problems clouded his mind and prevented him from doing his job. He’d never blame me of course and if he knew I was thinking this way he would be quick to assure me that I can always come to him, no matter what case he’s working on. But I couldn’t be that selfish.

 So with a sigh I tossed the grey comforter I’d pulled around myself aside and headed for the bathroom. A bath with one of my bath bombs would help, at least I hoped—I planned on closing my eyes and pretending Spencer was there; assuring me everything was going to be all right. But when I reached into the wicker basket that held my bath necessities, all of my bath bombs were gone. A fresh wave of tears fell down my cheeks, perhaps an overreaction, but I already felt so low—couldn’t I just have something to make me feel better? I decided to forget the bath idea and headed into our bedroom instead, climbing into the centre of the queen-sized bed, curling up into a ball under the covers while hugging Spence’s pillow to my chest. His cologne was faint in the cotton, but it was enough to ease the ball of sadness in my gut. A small sigh fell from my lips as my eyes slipped closed, unconsciousness eager to claim me and I wasn’t about to fight the reprieve from the melancholy.

 //

 I wasn’t sure what bought me to the land of consciousness, but it bought me so gently that it took me a moment to realise that I’d actually woken up. I blinked a few times, urging the sleep out of my eyes, as a yawn worked its way up my throat. I looked around the dark room, able to see the basic outlines of furniture thanks to the slither of light shining in from the hallway. That made me pause—I’d come for a nap in the early afternoon so I hadn’t left any lights on. That meant Spencer was home. A burst of energy shot up my spine as I shimmied out of the thick duvet to look for my boyfriend. I found him in his armchair, his brow wrinkled in thought as he read over the case file in his lap. The sight warmed my heart—I loved seeing his expression of concentration, how his lips pursed and his brow furrowed—and made me hesitate. I didn’t want to disturb him if he was still working. He must have sensed that I’d joined him in the room as he looked up, his eyes beaming with happiness as he took in my sleepy, dishevelled appearance. No matter how I looked, he always stared at me with such love, adoration and bewilderment, as if he couldn’t believe I was stood here in front of him. I felt my cheeks darken, as they always did, and my smile mirrored his own as it grew on his lips.

 ‘Hey honey, are you still working?’ I asked, my voice thick with sleep. I crossed my arms over my chest as I attempted not to fidget and show just how much I needed him to hold me right now.

 ‘Not at all. Just filling in some paperwork, but that can wait, come here darling.’ He tossed the case file onto the coffee table in front of him and held his arms open by way of invitation.

 I didn’t hesitate, closing the five-steps that separated us with ease and climbing into his lap. The softness of his cardigan, his warmth and the cologne that was a lot stronger than what lingered on his pillow, made me melt into him. A long sigh left my lips as all of the tense emotions left my body, leaving behind the relaxation I only felt in his arms. I tried to hide it in his chest, but of course he wasn’t fooled, he was one of the most observant people I’d ever met, which was typical of a profiler. His hand moved up and down my spine, the touch gentle and coaxing.

 ‘Everything okay?’ his voice was soft and I appreciated it, my eyes fluttering closed as my face nuzzled into the spot in between his neck and shoulder I always sought out.

 ‘My dad called earlier, pissed about the comment I added to the post I shared on Facebook.’ I said, my tone matching his but I knew he felt the few tears that fell onto his shoulder when he held me tighter and kissed my hair.

 I didn’t need to say anything else, he knew about the relationship between my dad and I, and he never commented on it. He never advised me on what to do, and I knew he wouldn’t unless I specifically asked him, but I’d been avoiding that for a while. I had a feeling I knew what he would suggest, and I didn’t know if I was ready to terminate my relationship with my father, because that could mean I’d lose my mother too. As estranged as my relationship was with him, I was close with my mom, and I didn’t know if I could bear losing her. But I’d reached the point where I had to consider it, because I shouldn’t have to go through this when I spoke to my dad. Not every conversation ended this way, but it happened often enough that every interaction had me walking on eggshells for what had the potential to happen.

 ‘Spence… what do you think I should do? With my dad?’ I murmured into the skin of his neck, where my face was safely tucked away.

 ‘His behaviour is consistently repeated and the way he interacts with you isn’t something I see changing without conscious effort from the both of you, and I don’t think you’ll get that from him.’ He paused, kissing my hair, ‘I think you should do whatever is best for you, Y/N. Whatever makes you happy, and whatever that is, you’ll have my support.’

 It was easy to realise when he put it like that. My dad was toxic to my happiness and if I continued to allow him into my life, it would always be that way. Spence was right, it was never going to change, and I was just wasting time and putting myself through this despair in hoping that it would. And if my mother loved me like I loved her, she could continue to be in my life and hopefully respect my decision.

 I pulled back to rest my forehead against his, my eyes fluttered shut at the touch but I forced them open so he could read the emotions in my eyes: love, gratitude and adoration.

 ‘Thank you, Spence.’ I kissed his lips once, ‘you are the most wonderful, kind, considerate person I’ve ever met and I’m so grateful for you every single day. I love you.’

 His eyes softened to cinnamon, his hand caressed the side of my face and he returned the sentiment, whispering the words into the kiss as his lips once again moved with mine. We pulled apart after a few moments and I made us both a mug of camomile tea to take to bed, knowing he’d need the calming herbs to help him sleep. Once we were all snuggled in bed, the hot beverages drained and the lamps turned off, I found myself thinking about how lucky I was. It was something that often crossed my mind, and how could it not when I had someone as amazing as Spencer Reid in my life? The truth was, as tempted as I’d been to cut my father from my life over the years, it hadn’t been something I’d really considered until I had him in my life. Because he was the person who showed me what it was like to have someone you could depend on, always. To have someone whom I knew would love me, and be there for me no matter what I decided to do. To have someone who would support my decisions without judgement or question. The truth was you could face anything alone, but having someone you loved by your side, someone you knew would be by your side, holding your hand no matter what, made the battle that much more bearable.

 A/N: Don’t know where this one came from! I’ve been binge watching Criminal Minds the past few days and binge reading Spencer Reid x Reader fanfiction, so I suppose this was bound to happen. Of course it had to end in fluff, especially with this wonderful man—I have a soft spot for him—though it was mostly angsty I hope you enjoyed!

[megalony]

Power play

This is a King! Ben Hardy series I am going to be working on which is inspired by the Queen Victoria tv series and is like my other series Fatal Attraction. I hope you will all enjoy it, feedback is always appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Ben Hardy masterlist

Fatal Attraction

Summary: Ben falls for (Y/n), the Queen of England and is willing to give up the right to his own throne to marry her. But he knows that if he does, there will be a power play in the relationship because one will have more power and control than the other.

Enjoy.

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"Why are we even here? She was coronated four months ago. She's eighteen and she's the Queen, what do you expect me to do here?"

Ben adjusted the crisp cuffs of his shirt to try and stop the material from irritating his wrists that he felt the desire to scratch at until his skin peeled off. He looked over at his father who was stood staring at him with a smile that was faultless, something which Ben seemed to have inherited from him.

They were over in England and at first Ben thought they were here to see how the Queen was ruling and finding her new position as Monarch. He thought they were here to observe and maybe help because Ben had spent a lot of his youth in England and he knew (Y/n) very well. Now he wasn't so sure why they were here and he wasn't too happy to be here either. Try as she might, Ben knew (Y/n) was too young to be in this position. She was only just eighteen and she didn't seem to have very much political knowledge which was going to make her job that much harder when she had to work with politicians to rule the country.

"Every man and his dog are going to be coming here soon as suitors for the new Queen-"

"No. No, tell me you did not bring me all this way to try and charm her into marrying me?"

Ben started to scratch at his wrist as a look of anger took over his face at what he was now hearing. Ben did not travel all the way over here to impress and try to woo the Queen. He didn't want to win her heart and secure himself a right to her throne, he already had a throne waiting for him back home. Ben didn't desire to marry the Queen and he didn't desire being ranked down to loyal Prince in a country that was not his own.

He knew well enough to know that if he married the Queen he wouldn't have many rights or much say in any political or royal matters. It would be allowing himself to sit in on all the meetings but have no say in what happened or what was said. He would wave away his rights and would only be able to help and try to run the country on his wife's say so.

Ben was all for women to rule countries and be Monarchs he had nothing against that but he knew two royals marrying like this wasn't a good mix because there would be fights for control. He was brought up and taught how to rule over a country and that was in preparation for his throne back home, if Ben gave that up he would be sitting and doing nothing unless instructed. He was fuelled with fire and a passion to work and that would be dimmed down if he married the Queen.

"(Y/n) knows you, that already gives you a head start and we both know she needs to be married. The sooner she finds someone to marry the better because she will struggle ruling this country on her own. Son, you have a political head on your shoulders, you can advise her and walk her through this she trusts you."

"Is that what you think of me? You think I'd abuse that trust she has to get her to marry me and put me in charge? She isn't someone to be won she is a Queen and you're asking me to give up my right to the throne to be the Queen's fucking adviser!"

Ben wasn't like everyone else, he didn't see (Y/n) as a prize to be won or someone who had to be married off so no one should worry about her or think she was incapable. They seemed to think she had to be married to be controlled and Ben wasn't that sort of man who would marry for power and control. Nor did he want to ruin the trust and friendship he had with (Y/n) by marrying her just to become her personal adviser. He would become a glorified adviser but if he didn't marry her he could go home and be a King someday. He knew which he preferred.

His father had gotten them both invited here for the Queen's celebration and now Ben was supposed to charm his way into her heart.

"The Queen was not taught or prepared for the role of Queen and she is in the deep end. She has all this power that she doesn't know how to control and she would be the best ally for us. Think of what a marriage to her could do for both countries, not to mention how it would help her. The people love her but they worry about her inexperience which you have."

The way Ben's green eyes darkened like they had been shrouded in a cloud of dust made his father uneasy and the stern expression on his face and the way his muscles and jaw tightened was very off-putting.

"I will advise her as a friend and an ally, but I will not try to charm her to marry her. I haven't worked this hard to give it all up to be her lapdog no matter how kind or sweet she may be. Don't ask me again because my answer is no."

No matter how lovely Ben thought (Y/n) was the last time he had seen her, he couldn't allow himself to marry her and become one of her subjects because they would never be equal. She would be his superior and he her subject and that was not how any marriage or relationship should be, it shouldn't be a power play and Ben didn't want that. He had seen his uncle marry a Queen and wave away all the rights and control to her and no matter how much he loved her, he wanted that control which she possessed.

Ben desired more than advising an inexperienced Queen on how to rule her own country.

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Turning her head ever so slightly to the right, (Y/n) let her eyes wander over to Ben for what felt like the hundredth time in the space of half an hour. She knew when she agreed to let him sit in on this meeting that he was either going to try and add his own input in wherever he could or he was going to be a personal distraction to her and she didn't know what would be worse.

But he had said nothing at all. This whole time he had sat in his chair near to the window with narrowed eyes listening intently to the meeting at hand but (Y/n) could read his expressions. When his eyes creased at the corners or his hands suddenly clenched into fists it meant he didn't agree with what was being said and when he shook his head ever so lightly and looked out of the window it was as if he was disgusted with what was being said.

More so, (Y/n) didn't know if she agreed with him or not because politics was now washing over her head. She was allowing Mr Hardin beside her to more or less guide her through this sea of uncertainty and nod with things she should agree with so she knew what to do.

It wasn't (Y/n)'s fault, not really. She wasn't supposed to be in line for the throne at all but people died unexpectedly through her first few years of life and she was next down the line. But her mother didn't train her in the world of politics and she didn't go to court often enough to know anything about how Parliament was run. She had had to learn years worth of knowledge in a few measly months and it wasn't enough. She was still learning and trying her best and (Y/n) didn't want people saying she didn't know what she was doing because she knew how to be Queen and how to rule England, she just needed a bit more teaching to make her a perfect Monarch.

With a nod of her head, (Y/n) dismissed everyone when the meeting came to an end only a few moments after her eyes cast over to Ben.

He had changed a little since the last time she saw him four months ago when it was her coronation. His eyes were a bit darker in colour, his jaw was a lot sharper and he seemed taller if that was even possible. His hair was shorter, his curls were no longer folding back on his head but cut down and he was allowing the hair on the side of his head to slowly grow back as opposed to being shaved. The last time she saw him he had promised she would be fine as Queen, he thought she would do a good job and that lifted her spirits immensely, but now she needed words like those again to tell her she was doing the right thing.

"Dare I ask what that look is for?" (Y/n) watched with intent eyes as Ben pushed himself up from his chair and slowly made his way over to where she was standing next to the large drawing table.

He didn't look very happy or interested or even pleased.

"You didn't say anything, you just let that man talk for you and nod to tell you when to speak. You're the Queen, you don't need permission to talk." Ben rested his hands in front of him with his right hand holding his left wrist to stop himself scratching out of nervous habit. He could see the way that (Y/n) waited for who Ben presumed was her adviser to tell her when it was safe to speak and when to agree and what to disagree with.

But she was the Queen, she shouldn't have to wait for instructions or clarity, she could say what she liked and give her opinion without being told when and where to do so.

"I wasn't waiting for permission, I was listening to what was being said."

"But they wanted your input and decision and you didn't give it."

"Because I don't have one, I was learning what they were telling me rather than waiting to make a decision." (Y/n) pressed her lips into a thin line when she watched Ben's eyes narrow and scrunch up as his cheeks rose in confusion. Her hands curled up into fists to try and stop herself from feeling angry and uneasy about the way he was looking at her like he didn't understand what she was thinking or saying.

"You... you didn't understand what they were telling you?"

When (Y/n) pursed her lips and turned her head away from him Ben wanted to laugh at the ludicrousy of it all. His father seemed to refer to her struggling as Queen but she had to have a basic knowledge of politics to be able to be Monarch. She had to work with Parliament and be above choosing sides of the parties in Parliament and understand the terms they were on. If she couldn't do that and couldn't come to agreements and decisions she wasn't going to get very far as Queen.

"I'm not as advanced in my politics yet."

"Forgive me for being crude but how do you expect to rule this country if you don't know how it works? You're the Queen and you're telling me you don't know anything about politics or what each party stands for?" No wonder people were trying to get her to marry someone so quickly, they were right in wanting her to have a husband who could be her adviser because she was going to drown under that crown on her head. She couldn't do this if she didn't catch up on her politics very quickly or unless she married someone who was going to tutor her or simply run the country for her.

"I didn't let you sit in on this meeting so you can be so rude. I know which party is which and what their principals are but I am teaching myself as I go along. Mr Hardin is advising me on these matters because no one else will, do not come here and act like I am a little girl sitting on this throne because I'm not."

(Y/n) was desperate to stomp her heel down on the floor to show him she was getting angry at his words but that would only further his image of her being a child wearing a crown. She was doing her best with what she had and she doubted anyone else could do this with as little experience as she had.

"No, you're not letting that man advise you, you're letting him control you. Your lack of knowledge and intellect in these matters makes you vulnerable and he's playing on that, he's telling you what to say and when to say it and telling you when to keep quiet so he can do the talking-"

"You are not here to lecture me!"

"Am I supposed to be here to kiss your shoes and tell you what a good job I think you're doing?" Ben knew he was taking a risk talking to abruptly and crudely to the Queen of all people who held more power and control than he did but he was being honest. He could see she wanted reassurance but as much as he wanted to give her that trust and reassurance that she was doing the right thing, he didn't think she was. Ben couldn't encourage her when she was going about this in the wrong way even though she was struggling and doing her best.

He wouldn't praise her or give her confidence that would only end up making her matters worse. He would be brutally honest or say nothing at all.

"You are here because I was hoping you could give me some advice or maybe even help me. But I see now that you're just like all the other men lined up in this palace ready to marry me and take my crown."

(Y/n) wanted to take a step away when Ben moved closer to her and towered over her like a demon. But she tilted her head up and braced her shoulders to try and match his stance and show that she wouldn't back down. She liked Ben, she trusted him because when they were younger and he paid small visits he used to be kind when everyone else made fun of her. He knew what he was doing and she knew he was taught and brought up to be King, she needed that influence right now.

But if he was going to be crude and hurtful like this then there was no point in him being here at all. (Y/n) wasn't going to marry anyone for the sake of being controlled like a puppet, she was going to prove to everyone that she could be as good a Queen as her predecessors.

"Don't worry your Majesty, I am in no hurry to sit by your throne and seen as your subject when I can have my own crown placed on my head. But if it's advice you want I can give you that. I'd advise you to learn quickly and try to do this without being told what to do. If you make mistakes that if fine and that is normal, but that man isn't someone you should be letting take over your role if you want to keep it. You need help, you need someone outside your Parliament to teach you before people know you're out of your depth."

Ben watched the way (Y/n)'s eyes seemed to lose their fire and her shoulders sagged just a little at what he said. He wasn't being rude anymore, he was being serious. Her adviser or whoever he was wasn't the person who she should be trusting and she needed someone to help her who wasn't out for their own gain or a political gain or she was going to struggle a lot worse than this.

He dipped his head at her in a small acknowledgement before he attempted to walk past her since he had upset and overwhelmed her. But he didn't get two steps away before (Y/n)'s hand curled around his wrist and caused him to stop and look back at her.

"Why don't you help me?" (Y/n) felt her stomach tensing and pulling inwards the moment those words passed through her lips. She didn't know what she was asking of him and if it would be a good idea or not but she had to try. Ben wasn't from this country, he didn't have a stake in politics even if he understood and took an interest. He had no reason to try and persuade her of anything and he knew what he was doing, he understood that meeting more than (Y/n) and more than anyone else it seems.

If he could help her in any possible way he was going to give her an advantage and let her be a proper Queen.

"I'm not part of your court or even your country, I don't know how long I'm supposed to be staying here either."

"So you have nothing to gain by giving me some advice and some help? You said it yourself I need someone out of my Parliament and how much further out of that can I get than you?"

"Would it really be wise to take my advice when people suspect I'm here to marry you?" Ben tilted his head down to look at (Y/n) but the way she smiled made him uneasy because it made his chest tighten and his heart jump like he had been electrocuted. He wanted to lean back to stop himself from getting too close like he was walking into a trap. Ben couldn't let himself get too close to (Y/n), he couldn't do this because it wasn't right. He wasn't here to marry her or make her fall for him or to fall for her, he couldn't have that kind of marriage or life. Nor could he go home and be King if he married or wanted to marry (Y/n).

"It may not be wise, but it's okay to make mistakes, isn't it?"

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"(Y/n) I can't, you shouldn’t ask me that you know that." Ben raked his fingers through his hair that he so wished was longer so he could pull on the strands and tug them to try and release the tension and anger building up in his system. But the reason he cut it this short was to stop himself from pulling his hair out in great chunks. He had too many bad habits that came from stress and anxiety and he had to limit them before he ended up hurting himself at this rate.

He turned his back to (Y/n) so he couldn't see how his words cut through her like a knife but angered and riled her up at the same time.

"Why not? You were supposed to go back to your country two weeks ago and yet you're still here so why can't I ask you?"

(Y/n) pulled at the top button of her dress that was beginning to constrict her breathing from how angry and flustered she was beginning to get. He was making this difficult when it didn't have to be and she wasn't doing this to upset him she was doing this because she liked him and she thought that she was possibly even falling in love with him.

"You can't ask me to marry you because it wouldn't work out!" Ben spun round on his heels to face (Y/n) but the look of anger on her face overwhelmed the sorrow that was casting in her eyes.

"Because you don't like me-"

"Now you know I like you that is not the point here, I like you far more than I should."

"And that's a problem? I have offers to marry me coming out of my ears but the one person I want to marry is now telling me no even though I've asked him to marry me which is the proper way to do things. You're different, Ben. You're helping me instead of controlling me, you don't want to own me or take my crown and you like me, if I can't marry you I'm going to be forced to marry someone with bad intentions."

(Y/n) could feel the tears forming in her eyes but she didn't want to cry. She didn't want to make Ben think she was trying to guilt-trip him into marrying her and she didn't want to cry because it would make her seem too emotional and weak and she was the Queen. She had to be strong and level-headed and give the people no reason to think she was incapable of wearing the crown she had been presented with.

"Don't do that (Y/n). Do you think I want someone else marrying the girl I love and taking control and advantage of her? I'd marry you this second to stop that from happening and to make sure you were safe but I can't because you are Queen."

Ben had done what he said he wouldn't and he'd done just what his father wanted of him. He had captured (Y/n)'s sweet, innocent heart and he couldn't give it back no matter how hard he tried. Ben loved her, he knew he did and he always knew she was different and special.

He would marry her now to ensure that she would be loved, protected and safe from anyone who would marry her just for her crown and to take control over her country that wasn't rightfully theirs. He didn't want her to be forced into marriage or to marry and be controlled, Ben wouldn't allow that but he was stuck. If he married (Y/n) he would surrender his own throne and his power and he would be stuck. He would have to ask (Y/n) if he wanted to help with her ruling over England and if she thought he was trying to take control she wouldn't let him do anything.

They were two dominant, competitive and very strong-willed people and putting them together on one throne was going to cause tension that could break them apart.

"You won't marry me because you want to be King? Fine, walk out that door and go back and wait for your crown, Ben. I won't ask you again and I won't take that from you, go and be in charge. Thank you for the advice and the lessons in politics, I think I can muddle through this on my own."

(Y/n) waved her arm out at Ben in motion to the door, wanting him to leave if he was saying this for his own crown. He had given her a lot of advice and he had done his best in the few weeks he had been here to try and teach her so she would be prepared for the rest of her life as Queen. He had even stayed for another two weeks when he was originally meant to go home. This visit was made by his father so he could woo the Queen and then go home and wait for a proposal or another invitation to come back.

The proposal had now arrived but Ben couldn't take it and he didn't know if he really wanted it despite how he felt towards (Y/n).

She had asked him to marry her just like was expected because the Monarch had to ask about marriage, no one could rightfully ask (Y/n) to marry them but an arranged marriage could be forced if (Y/n) didn't choose anyone soon.

"Don't do that! I'm not turning you down so I can have my crown I'm saying I can't marry you because it isn't fair. I've spent my whole life being taught how to rule my country and how to be King and I know how the Monarchy and politics work. But if I marry you that goes away, I will stay a Prince and as much as that would be okay with me, marrying a Queen isn't a good idea."

Ben reached his hand out for (Y/n) but she shook her head and pulled away. She wanted to marry him, she was falling in love with him and if she didn't fall for anyone else or find someone who she could at least be friendly with and tolerate then she would be forced into a marriage that would crush her.

"I've trained to be in your position (Y/n), how do you think it would work if I have to ask you to do anything or to spend my money or if I want to help? Would you sign away every right you had just to marry me because I wouldn't want you to do that."

"If you marry me you'll be ruling England with me-"

"But I won't, will I? You will be ruling and I will be your most trusted adviser and husband. I will need your permission for everything and I'll need you to tell me what I can and cannot do. We are both trained for the same position but you have it and if I marry you I'll always be your subject first."

It was as if they were both trained for the same job but (Y/n) had already got it and the only way Ben could have the only job he has grown up and trained for was to have that job in a different country without (Y/n) by his side. Ben loved her and he wanted to help her but he didn't think marrying her would work because sooner or later the power would come into play and he couldn't marry her only for the power to destroy them further down the line.

It was a risk he didn't know if he should take.

"I can't do this on my own Ben and you are far better qualified to do this than me. If you married me I would need you to help me, you'd be doing this with me because everyone here knows I need some kind of help. I want you to be my husband, I don't want you as my subject kissing my shoes. But if you're that worried or you want your throne I understand and you have to go."

(Y/n) knew Ben was telling her that he was worried and not that he was unwilling to give up his throne. She also knew she was asking a lot of Ben, she was making him decide between his rightful place in his country as King and a place here as her husband. She would strip him of his entitlement to his country's throne and make him leave his country behind to marry her and hope that her love was enough for him.

It was a lot for her to ask in return for simply giving him a lesser title with fewer rights and abilities. But if he declined her proposal then he had to leave, (Y/n) couldn't handle seeing him here for any longer and yearn to be with him. It would be easier for him to go right back home and stay there than to hang around here waiting for the dust to settle.

"(Y/n)..."

Ben reached his hands out and waited until (Y/n) finally relented and let him take hold of her hands, pulling her as close to him as he could get. He didn't speak until (Y/n) lifted her head and looked up at him.

"I have no problem giving up my crown for you, it isn't about me wanting power and a throne to call mine. But I have a problem with a marriage that holds a power play because I don't want that to ruin what we would have and I've seen that happen before-"

"So leave. If you don't trust that I will let you rule alongside me and help me then there is nothing more to say."

(Y/n) squeezed Ben's hands tightly before she begrudgingly let go and tried to pull away to further enhance her words but Ben didn't give her the chance. The moment she let go of his hands Ben reached up and cupped her face in his hands so he could kiss her. (Y/n) had never been kissed before- she'd never been kissed like that before and she'd never felt something so foreign yet normal, so different yet similar and something so enticing like that kiss.

She didn't want the kiss to end, especially not when she could feel every emotion he had pouring into her lips and the way he smoothed his thumbs over her cheeks made her knees go weak. But (Y/n) couldn't decipher whether this was a goodbye kiss or if Ben was telling her the exact opposite.

When they eventually pulled back for air, Ben leaned his temple against her own but the mix of emotions in his eyes didn't give (Y/n) the answer she was looking for.

What did that kiss mean?

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

tw/venting

so im once again randomly sad at 1:30 and honestly i hate it. i always seem to get really just down and upset during the early morning. (probably because i need to be sleeping) but this is stressful to be honest. im feeling a ton of guilt that i shouldnt even feel bad about. right, so we all know that im how old? a minor, and like.......im fine with that. im fine being this age. but like....i feel like im carrying feelings for things that dont even have to do with me. some people are like “yeah, i dont want minors interacting with my content” and for some reason, i always wonder if it has something to do with me. it doesn’t, but i feel this secondhand guilt for some reason, and it hurts. and i know it’s really selfish of me to do that, and im victimizing myself with this. i always obey the “MDNI” on people’s posts, but sometimes i feel like i did something bad. like with smut, specifically, i completely understand why people wouldn’t want minors interacting with that, it makes so much sense.

then i start feeling really upset about how i literally write smut, and read it. im starting to feel like there’s something wrong with me for having written smut, and had a specific audience read and react to it. i sometimes feel gross for just wanting to read smut. and a lot of the fandoms i read smut for may have the “MDNI” on it, which is fine, but after that, I feel this deep trench form, and it’s the worst thing. i just feel like im weird, and dirty for wanting to read smut about characters. and here comes the argument of me, a minor, reading smutty ass fanfiction about grown characters, in some scenarios. of course, i imagine myself older, above legal age, but that doesn’t stop the nasty feelings I feel. and with characters that are my age, or around my age, like with my hero academia, like sure, i crush on sero and everything, but i feel awful about reading smut for him. or even thinking about smutty things.

this also briefly dips into how i interact with my mutuals’ fics, particularly the smuttier ones. i think ‘oh god, am i being gross by interacting with this’ and i know that if they have an issue with me interacting with their fics, they would say it, clearly, and explain what needs to be explained. and i love that. but i always feel like im the weird one here, like im the odd one out, i guess because of my age. and i absolutely love and appreciate that they’ve created a safe space for me. it’s just an internal thing that’s really bothering me. and i absolutely love my mutuals as well. and i know that they also love and appreciate me, i guess i just feel that guilt.

and i know that it’s completely normal for kids my age, and teens to think about, and sometimes desire sexual things. and i know that it’s fine to explore those thoughts. sometimes, though, i just feel like im being a hypocrite. i. e. some shoes marketed towards teens, such as euphoria, and riverdale (off the top of my head, not biased) portray teenagers that might not be accurate. i don’t know what it’s like to be y’know present in a high school, and there, but for my own experiences, at least, i feel like it’s not true, or at least not in all of its glory. im like the outlier for a lot of that stuff. and i know it probably exists in some places, but i feel like this is how society views teens, and what they expect from us. i feel this odd pressure to be everything that society expects me not to be. and on some posts and stuff, i see what seems to be a bit of a disdain for kids of my generation, or at least gen z and i just kinda freeze and panic. i go “oh god, do they think this of me” “do they hate me” and i know that they don’t but it’s this lingering thought of “this is what they think of other kids in the same group as you”. i know it doesn’t represent the entire view but i just feel like i cant say anything, or bring it up. it makes me feel like im the problem.

anyway, i feel like i can’t do some of the things that i want because im scared of what people will think of me. like, sometimes i just feel hot, y’know and of course, send nice photos to a pal or two, but i’d never post that shit publicly. why, you might ask? because im a minor, and just because i feel nice about myself doesn’t mean that i need other ppl being gross about it. some people always say “these teens are always posting stuff all over social media. they share everything on there.” one, yes, we do, some people should know better. but also, two, this is new, people are being misled, mistakes are going to happen. plus, when you dont have that outlet to do other things, you go where you may feel safer to do something. it may not even be the best choice either. i agree that teens shouldnt post everything to social media, but i also believe that we should be allowed to make mistakes too? and have a bit of fun (where it’s morally correct, im not talking about driving people to suicide, or posting nudes (or semi-nudes on insta when you’re 13, that’s just wrong) anyways. i just feel like i cant do anything bc im gonna get shit for it, and further promote an agenda, but at this point im kinda starting to tear myself down about other people’s opinions, and that’s shitty.

also i feel like teens cant do shit in GENERAL, but that’s another conversation for another fucking day.

i always try to keep my opinions and everything at bay, because i hate when conflict is directed at me. and i dont like the panic of waiting for someone to text, or message me when i had what could be considered a hot take. i feel like i cant disagree, or think differently. or even sometimes just speak my mind because im scared of the repercussions. so i kinda just shut up, and stay in my little corner, and i absolutely hate that. but i also dont like being vocal about my opinions because of the fear that it produces.

and also sometimes some of the shit that people come up with im like......okay, i feel like i cant joke about. like when i talk about “MILF dennys” or “DILF buffalo wild wings” I DONT WANT TO BE A MILF, NOR A DILF. i dont even want kids, so ahaha. i say that shit as a joke.

kids, get future milf out of your bio, unless you put a “/j” or “/hj” after it. also, you don’t want to be a sex worker, or a stripper. im pro sex-work, but don’t look at that as your ONLY job option. that shit gets people killed, or tortured, and mistreated. if it’s a joke, it’s a joke, but it’s a dangerous choice, and it’s your grave bestie. and no, people contradicting you isn’t sexist, or misogynistic UNLESS IT’S LITERALLY THAT. people can be like “i think your opinion is a little harmful, ngl” and you can respond respectfully and be like “do tell, im open to  listen” and not go off about someone not supporting your choices. if it’s something that you can avoid, do it. IF IT’S ILLEGAL, DONT DO IT. like, prostitution is illegal where i live, so if yall try to do that shit, dont expect to be given special treatment. people already see kids, women, and sex workers as what? OBJECTS. you’re nothing to people who may be incarcerating you one minute, and calling you for a 5 minute hookup the next. it’s not empowerment to be on places, and letting yourself be groomed and taken advantage of by nasty ass people who need to be locked up. i understand that you should be able to do what you wan, and wear what you want, but there’s some disgusting people out here.

and it’s also the usual shit bothering me, the pandemic, school, my brother saying fatphobic stuff, yada yada. i want a HUG. and i need to sit in someone’s lap for god’s sake anyways.

im also pretty sure that it’s NOT normal to have this many extreme changes in mood. like i was fine earlier yesterday but as soon as i see one thing that hits too close, im upset so....anyways.

also yes i feel bad about this because i really need to talk to someone about these issues, instead of y’know, letting them pile up and haunt me until im emotionally unavailable because i hide my feelings. this is further promoting other people’s view of teens oversharing on social media. but to be honest, people are going to hate gen z, and teens for a lot of shit. and i cant stop them from doing that. i can, however, keep myself out of their line of sight and dont cause issues about it. anyways, im gonna go rewatch some invincible (wow 3rd time now). and try to keep my mind off of wanting to be in someone’s arms while we make out. :) 

[bisluthq]

Honestly, that ask that said you were "dismissive" of Kays and "definitive" about Taylor & Joe is the reason why I completely left the gaylor fandom and just started reading blogs like your and kaylortruther even though I still believe in gaylor and enjoy the content. It's like Kays (specifically) feel threatened by any mention of a different side and idk my already messy confused bissexuality can't deal with it. Anyway just thank you for being "bitchy" this anon here enjoys it very much

I mean I really actively try not to be bitchy to anons unless people really try me (and they do sometimes tbh). Like I’m opinionated - it’s my personality - but I try give everyone a chance to have a platform. If I disagree with you, I tend to explain what informed my opinion. I also change my opinions on stuff if I’m presented with more evidence. Like people who’re friends with me will know I back and forth. I’ve said to y’all if you’d heard the listening parties @adastrabella and I have then my “opinionatedness” would seem far less intense lol. Like we back and forth... And we’re in different time zones so sometimes I spam her with a bunch of “evidence” for something in the middle of her night and then she’ll wake up and be like “dude u okay?” And just point out the straight up nonsense I talked myself into and I’ll be like: “Oh. Okay then.”

Obvi I’m not gonna do that back and forth in an ask format? Like if I’m asked a question... or given a prompt... I answer as me based on opinions I already have? If you want to debate stuff with me or really chat deeply you should come off anon and actually engage with me idk. I’m always happy to make new friends.

Also fundamentally if people enjoy believing reaches like fucking power to them. That’s true for Gaylors and Hetlors alike. A lot of stuff is reachy but if it brings you joy, go for it. My issue is when reaches are framed as fact and when people are willing to lay their lives on the line for it. That’s silly. You’re not Taylor. Chill.

Anyway, thanks for reading and I’m glad I’m providing a safe, fun and entertaining space ❤️

[steves-on-a-plane]

Yesterday Came Suddenly

Words: 1320 Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Request: “Hi! I really love your blog. I was wondering about reader x Bucky. Maybe she is very very pregnant in this COVID situation so he is very worried about her (in NYC). Thank you so much.” -Anon Summary: Reader is very far long in her pregnancy. She and her husband Bucky are using their time in quarantine to finally fix up the nursery for the baby. When it comes time to build the crib, Reader finds Bucky is spaced out and not listening to her. This leads to a heartfelt discussion between the two about the current state of the world. 

“Buck? Bucky? James?” You hurled a stuffed animal at your husband. You’d been trying to get his attention for the past few minutes, but he had totally spaced out. Being hit in the head with a plush giraffe roused him from whatever trance he’d been under.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” He asked blinking up at you. He picked up the giraffe that had fallen into his lap and cradled it in his arms like a baby.

“Well, I was asking you for help with building this crib because I can’t read Swedish.” You handed him the instructions for the crib. “But now I want to know where you just were.” You caressed his cheek gently with the back of your hand. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“I’m sorry.” He apologized. “I was just thinking.” He put the giraffe down and stood up from the rocking chair he’d been sitting in. He held the instruction booklet for the crib between his two hands.  

“Buck, Honey, what were you thinking about?” You asked him.

“Don’t worry about it.” He said, kissing you. “Let’s get our Swedish crib build on.” He waved the instruction pamphlet at you incitingly.

“James Barnes,” You sighed. “We are about to bring a new human into this family and into the world. In order to successfully raise said tiny human, we have to openly communicate with each other. Don’t make me call in reinforcements.”

“Hang on.” Bucky snorted. He looked up from the mess of crib parts on the floor. “Do you think that I’m going to listen to a lecture about the importance of communication from Rogers?”

“I don’t know!” You tossed your hands up in frustration. You walked over to the rocking chair that had previously been occupied by your husband and sat down. You held the giraffe in one hand and rubbed your stomach with the other. “You don’t ever want to talk me and I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

“Oh [Y/N],” Bucky let the instruction pamphlet fall to the ground. He crouched down next to the rocking chair so that he could look you in the eyes. “The truth is I’m scared as hell. Not that we won’t be good parents. I know we’ll be great parents. I’m scared to bring a kid into the world.”

“You don’t think that I’m scared?” You laughed and looked away from him.

“Of course, I know you’re scared, Babe.” He reached out and held your free hand with both of his. That’s why I’ve been trying not to let you see how I was feeling. I don’t want to scare you more. I mean you’ve got to understand 2020 is not the future they promised us in ’43. No one call afford to live anywhere. College, which is something almost everyone needs to get a job these days, is prohibiting expensive. Not to mention the fact that we don’t teach kids actual life skills anymore. There’s Nazi’s again! And don’t get me started on the fact that no one is safe unless they’re an old white dude and trust me I understand the irony of that statement coming from me your husband who actually a hundred years old.” He paused to take a deep breath before continuing. It seemed that now that he had opened the flood gates of his emotions, he wasn’t going to be able to stop until he aired all of his grievances.

“And on top of all of that there is this terrifying pandemic out there that people are treating like a joke! I mean I’ve seen protest signs that say things like ‘give me Liberty or give me COVID-19.’ I just don’t understand it.” Bucky got to his feet and started pacing the room. “You know, the news doesn’t help either! Every one of them is so wrapped up in their own agenda…You know I remember when Roosevelt was President! People were angry when they found out the papers had been hiding how bad his polio was, and now? The Onionposts a joke article about I don’t know, Trumps is the Best President Ever According to Poles and next thing you know everyone’s Great Aunt Edna is sharing it on Facebook with some caption like, ‘Our only hope 2020.’”

“I don’t have a Great Aunt Edna.” You commented, trying to make him crack a smile. It didn’t work.

“How can you make jokes about this?” He asked burying his face in his hands. You struggled a little but managed to get up out of the rocking chair. You walked over to your husband and wrapped your arms around him. Bucky moved his hands away from his face and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Buck, the world is a scary place.”  You agreed with him. “and we can’t make it any better if we don’t talk about how scary, unsafe and unfair it is. Not just to each other but to our friends and family too. Remember my mom didn’t understand why I wouldn’t let her come visit or why we canceled our baby shower in the middle of all of this until I explained to her how dangerous it could be for me and the baby if we were to get sick. I had to teach her about being A-symptomatic and that someone could make other people sick even if they didn’t have symptoms.”

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded. “Now she makes your dad pay to have groceries delivered and she made you teach her how to use Facetime, but that was a small change.”

“Small changes can have a big impact.” You disagreed with him. “Remember when Steve asked Sam and Rhodey if they would lead that seminar to educate the team on the Black Lives Matter movement? At first you went into it fully supporting All Lives Matter, but once everyone shared their stories and you realized how that was actually a really damaging countermovement you changed your opinion. All you needed was someone to educate you.”

“But people like your mother and me we just want to do what’s right by the people that we love. There are people out there who just want to watch the world burn. They want to tear the people around them down out of some bullshit superiority complex.”

“I know that it doesn’t seem like it, but the fact that you’re this angry, this upset is a good thing because it means that you care. Not just about yourself or our family. You genuinely care about making the world a better place. And I love that about you and you have to promise me that you’re never going to lose that part of you, no matter how scary things are or how hard change can be. Things only get better when there are people fighting.” You moved his hands from your back so that he was holding your stomach. “Now whoever’s in there, deserves a better world than the one they’re being born into. But we can make it better for them and we can make it better with them.”

“We could move to Canada.” He suggested.

“Now who’s making jokes?” You sighed.

“You’re right.” He nodded kissing you. “You’re French is terrible.”

“Excusez-moi mon français est exceptionnel!” You gasped.

“Sure, it is.” He laughed. “I’m sorry I dumped all of that on you. I just thought I might make you more stressed, if I told you how I was feeling.”

“The only way we’re ever going to make it through this nightmare scape of a world is if we talk to each other about how we’re feeling.” You told him. “Besides, I’m married to you, I’m a lot more resilient that you give me credit for.”

“Ha, ha.” He rolled his eyes. “I love you.” He announced before going in for another kiss.

“I love you too.” You vowed as your lips were inches apart.