#I was alone. with only her as an influence.

[idkyetxoxo]

Gwayne Hightower - Rivalries

Summary - She is the object of affection for Gwayne, her devoted husband and her resentful brother, Daemon. As passion ignites and jealousy simmers, secrets and desires threaten to unravel, culminating in a game where love and power collide in the shadows of the palace.

Pairing - Gwayne Hightower x Targaryen reader

Warnings - Sexual content (oral f!receiving)

Word count - 2516

Masterlist for Gwayne • House of the Dragon General Masterlist

Men have always possessed an uncanny knack for wielding power, bending influence to their will in ways both obvious and subtle. 

Few embody this more fully than Otto Hightower, a man whose calculating mind and scheming nature have ensnared him a firm grip on our realm.

Through a web of calculated marriages, he has planted his kin at the heart of the Targaryen dynasty. 

First, he manoeuvred his only daughter into marriage with the king, my brother Viserys, making her queen and securing his own proximity to the throne. But that wasn't enough for Otto. 

He orchestrated a second union, binding me, the realm's princess and sister to the king, to his eldest son, Gwayne. 

In doing so, Otto has gained control over both the king and me, each one of us a pawn in his designs.

Now, with his daughter wielding influence over the king and his son ensnared in my favour, Otto's reach is all-encompassing. 

Through the queen's soft-spoken whispers, he bends Viserys to his will, while through his son's bond with me, he consolidates his sway over the princess of the realm—a princess who, in turn, holds her brother's ear and favours the Hightower cause.

Fortunately for Otto, his son Gwayne is entirely enchanted by me, his devotion unwavering. 

But not all in House Targaryen are as easily convinced of these alliances' virtues. 

Our brother Daemon alone harbours deep resentment, his contempt for Otto's manipulations a fire that no amount of diplomacy can cool.

─── ✦⋅♡⋅✦ ───

"Stop watching me," I murmured with a teasing smile, adjusting my earrings. 

Gwayne leaned casually against the doorway, his gaze openly admiring, though a flicker of something sharper lingered in his eyes.

"How can I not?" he replied, his voice low, as if savouring every detail of the moment.

His laugh was soft, rich with affection, but I knew him too well not to see that spark of possessiveness beneath it. 

It was a look that said he was proud, even smug, that I was his—but also quietly wary, as though he were forever warding off the shadow of some unseen rival.

I smirked, glancing at him through the mirror as I adjusted a wayward strand of hair. 

"Go down to the feast, Gwayne," I urged, straightening up, my reflection catching his eyes in the glass. "I'll be along soon enough."

He let out a playful sigh, his shoulders drooping in exaggerated disappointment. 

"I had hoped to walk in with the most beautiful lady in all the realm on my arm," he said, the feigned pout quirking his lips, inviting my laughter.

"Patience, love. You'll have your moment," I replied, the corners of my mouth lifting as he leaned in, cupping my face with familiar warmth. He kissed me, his lips lingering as if reluctant to let go. 

Even as he pulled back, his eyes promised he'd claim me again before the night was over.

With a last, wistful look, he turned to leave, his presence an absence that weighed on the air. And then he was gone.

Down in the great hall, the feast was already a whirlwind of flickering torches, laughter, and the clamour of goblets raised in toasts. 

Gwayne moved through the crowd with ease, his gaze courteous, his nods respectful. But then, as though fate delighted in twisting the knife, he found himself face-to-face with Daemon.

Daemon, who leaned against a pillar with that insufferable smirk of his, every inch the dangerous prince. 

His eyes held an unsettling gleam, something unreadable lurking behind their dark depths as he regarded Gwayne with a look that felt almost too intimate.

"My sister finally had the sense to let you walk alone?" Daemon's voice was as smooth as silk, but each word was sharpened to wound, his arms crossing as he took in Gwayne with a mocking tilt of his head.

Gwayne's smile was a flash of polished steel, his voice unflinching. 

"Wouldn't that be your wish, my prince?" he returned, his tone honeyed with feigned respect. "Then you might finally have her all to yourself."

Daemon's smirk wavered, his jaw tightening as the ever-so-carefully constructed façade cracked, allowing the faintest flicker of irritation to bleed through. 

Daemon might have titles and power, but there was one thing, one person, he would never possess—and that knowledge ate away at him, poisoned the edge of his smile.

"Oh, don't worry," Daemon said, lifting his goblet to his lips, his gaze cold and unwavering. "One day, she'll tire of you. And when that day comes, she'll come crawling to me."

Gwayne let out a low, quiet laugh, a sound rich with derision. He leaned in, closing the gap between them, his words barely more than a murmur. 

"Don't hold your breath," he said smoothly. "I wouldn't want you waiting forever."

Their words were razor-sharp whispers, thinly veiled threats exchanged like a deadly dance, both men balancing on the precipice of violence. 

But as if the gods themselves had a sense of irony, the hall doors swung open just then.

In unison, both men turned, their eyes falling upon me as I entered. 

Gwayne's breath audibly caught, his pride swelling as he caught sight of Daemon's face—his gaze darkening as he took in the emerald green gown I'd chosen, a proud declaration of my allegiance, of my bond with Gwayne. 

The colour was a statement, a reminder, a choice that all in the hall would recognize.

I lifted a gloved hand, waving lightly to Daemon, whose returning smile was as thin and strained as a worn-out thread. 

But then I shot a wink to Gwayne, my mouth curving into a private smile that only he understood. A victorious smile spread across his lips, his chest swelling slightly.

"Now, doesn't she look divine?" he murmured to Daemon, his voice rich with the satisfaction of a man who knows he's won, his eyes alight with triumph as he cast a quick, cutting glance at his rival.

Daemon's smile wavered, barely masking the smouldering bitterness that darkened his gaze. His voice was a dangerous purr, admiration and resentment blending like poison in his tone. 

"Irresistible," he replied, his eyes lingering on the fabric that marked my choice, his gaze smouldering with an unspoken challenge.

Gwayne leaned closer, his voice thick with intent, his words low enough for Daemon to hear. "I look forward to removing that gown later tonight."

Daemon's jaw clenched, his fists tightening at his sides. The tension between them sharpened, each man a wire strung too tight, vibrating with a resentment just waiting to snap.

"Perhaps," Gwayne taunted, his smile razor-thin, "the rogue prince might content himself with watching from a respectful distance, praying to the gods for a fortune like mine."

Daemon's knuckles whitened around his goblet, his calm veneer slipping, barely. 

He looked like he might have lunged forward had I not arrived between them, drawing both of their heated gazes to myself.

"Are you two playing nice?" I asked lightly, laughter lacing my voice, breaking the taut string of animosity between them.

Gwayne wasted no time, slipping an arm possessively around my waist and pulling me close. He took my face in his hands, kissing me with a passion that left me breathless, his intent to stake his claim clear as day. 

I pulled back, cheeks flushed, my breath catching as I smiled up at him.

Daemon cleared his throat sharply, his gaze hardening, but his practised smile never wavered. "Of course we are, sister," he said, his voice as smooth as ever. 

But in his eyes a storm was brewing.

I laughed, stepping forward to kiss him on the cheek in sisterly affection. But Daemon's face tilted, ever so slightly, guiding my kiss dangerously close to the corner of his mouth. 

I pulled back with a startled laugh, brushing it off as an innocent miscalculation, but I didn't miss the way Gwayne's hand tightened possessively around my waist.

"We should greet the other guests," Gwayne said, his voice a low murmur laced with steel as he pulled me firmly to his side, making his claim crystal clear.

With one last smile at Daemon, I let Gwayne lead me through the crowd, our departure marked by a final, simmering look over his shoulder. 

Daemon's eyes tracked us, his expression carefully schooled, yet the slight, almost triumphant smirk that tugged at his lips betrayed his satisfaction.

It was a look that promised he would not let the matter rest, a hint of smugness at the intimacy we'd shared, however fleeting. 

In his mind, he'd scored a small victory in this endless, unspoken war—and he would savour it until his next move.

The night wore on, music and laughter swelling around us, but Gwayne's attention never strayed. 

His hand on my waist was a constant, possessive presence, his fingers tracing circles that sent heat flooding to my cheeks. 

There was a hunger in his gaze that he made no attempt to hide, a smouldering desire barely held in check.

"You're very eager tonight," I whispered, my lips brushing his ear. 

A thrill ran through me as he shivered under my breath, his hand tightening at my side, thumb brushing the curve of my breast in a bold, teasing stroke.

His answering smile was both reverent and defiant. 

"No one but you is to blame for that," he murmured, his voice low, a promise woven in each syllable. He glanced around the hall, and for a moment, his gaze caught Daemon's.

The look between them was a spark, igniting something dangerous. 

Daemon's smirk faltered as he held Gwayne's gaze, a silent tension crackling between them before he turned away with a barely concealed scoff. 

I sensed the dark resolve kindling in Gwayne, a thrill of excitement creeping into his touch.

"Come with me," he whispered, the command and excitement unmistakable. His hand tightened around mine, and with a quick tug, he led me through the hall. 

I could barely keep up, my surprised laughter echoing softly as we slipped past the others, evading curious glances.

"Gwayne, what are you—" I managed, breathless as he pulled me into the shadows of a secluded balcony. 

The night air was cool, adding a thrill of secrecy as he backed me against the stone, his gaze sharp with intent.

"I can't restrain myself any longer," he murmured, his eyes blazing with hunger as he dropped to his knees before me. 

My heart pounded as his hands gathered the fabric of my gown, his movements reverent yet bold, his hands urgent.

"Gwayne—someone might—" 

My words faltered into a gasp as he parted my legs, his mouth hovering tantalizingly close. The thrill of it all, the forbidden nature, sent a rush of heat through me as I glanced over my shoulder at the empty corridor.

"Trust me," he whispered, his voice a low, gravelly plea, edged with defiance. 

His eyes flared with something fierce and unapologetic, daring me to pull away, to deny him what he was ready to give.

Before I could fully gather my thoughts, he pressed his mouth to me, his touch igniting a fire that swept through my entire being. 

My head fell back, my eyes fluttering shut as I stifled a moan, my hand flying to cover my mouth.

I lost myself to the blissful rhythm of his touch, his mouth working with an expertise that left me breathless, every stroke intentional and unrelenting. 

Each soft sound he coaxed from me only drove him further, his hands gripping my hips possessively, grounding me against the hard stone.

"That's it, love," he murmured between kisses, his gaze lifting to mine even as he pressed deeper, his eyes filled with a dark devotion. 

I was lost to him, each wave of pleasure pulling me further under, blissfully unaware of the game he had set into motion.

Unseen by me, Gwayne's gaze flicked to the dimly lit corridor, his senses on high alert, waiting. 

He was all too aware that Daemon would pass through this corridor, lured by both routine and curiosity.

And here, tucked against the shadowed stone of the balcony with me, Gwayne intended to make the prince pay for every hidden glance and lingering touch that Daemon had stolen.

It wasn't long before Daemon appeared, his strides purposeful yet wary, as though drawn by some invisible pull. 

He stopped abruptly in the shadows just beyond the balcony, his eyes widening, expression caught somewhere between shock and fascination as he took in the scene before him.

Gwayne lifted his head for the briefest moment, his eyes meeting Daemon's across the dim corridor. 

His mouth, slick with evidence of his devotion, curved into a wicked, triumphant smile—a silent victory. He had claimed this moment, his eyes taunting Daemon with a satisfaction that words could not convey. 

He knew Daemon's love for me, knew the jealousy that burned beneath every calm exterior, every fleeting glance.

Daemon's jaw tightened, his fists clenched at his sides, and yet he did not turn away. He was rooted to the spot, compelled by a combination of fury and helpless longing. 

Gwayne held his gaze, the smirk deepening as he pressed his mouth back against me, his movements more fervent, almost performative, meant to drive the rogue prince mad with envy.

I remained blissfully unaware, caught in the waves of pleasure, my mind fogged with sensation. 

The world beyond Gwayne's touch faded into oblivion, my body responding to his every movement as he held me tightly, anchoring me against the balcony. 

I gasped, feeling my restraint begin to shatter under his care, my body trembling against his hands, and I clutched onto his shoulders to steady myself.

Gwayne's eyes darted up once more, relishing the sight of Daemon—livid, yearning, utterly defeated in that moment. 

The prince's face was a mask of restrained anger and desire, his fingers flexing as if to break something, or perhaps to reach for me, to grasp what lay mere inches beyond his reach.

Gwayne's smirk deepened, triumphant, revelling in the one prize Daemon could neither claim nor deny himself from wanting.

With one last smouldering glance at the prince, Gwayne returned his full attention to me, his mouth and hands working in tandem, ensuring I was lost entirely to him. 

He whispered praises into my skin, quiet enough that only I could hear, a stark contrast to the dark thrill he shared with his rival just beyond my view.

Daemon stood, his chest rising and falling, but Gwayne gave him nothing more—no acknowledgement, no satisfaction. 

He closed his eyes, committing every reaction, every soft gasp of mine to memory, a final mark of his victory before Daemon could bear it no longer. 

With a rigid turn, Daemon left, his face a storm of rage and resignation as he vanished into the darkened corridor.

When I opened my eyes, breathless and flushed, I found Gwayne's gaze on me, filled with pride, as though I were the centre of his world.

"What?" I asked with a dazed smile, noticing the glint of triumph in his eyes.

"Nothing, love," he murmured, his thumb stroking my cheek tenderly as he helped me steady myself. "Just admiring how perfect you are." 

His smirk softened as he leaned up to capture my lips, the victory between him and Daemon remaining a secret I would never know.

A/n - this didn't execute how I wanted exactly but I'm too lazy to change it now

Gwayne tag list - @deniixlovezelda @randomnerdyfan

[agirlwithglam]

🌟 become your dream girl before 2025! 🌟

THIS WILL *ACTUALLY* CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

do you know how many people are waiting until next year to glow up and actually start to become their dream self? now just think, if you started now, before 2025, how far you would be. how much more skills and knowledge you would have. you're literally getting a head start. so what are you doing dilly-dallying until 2025? heres your guide to ending this year accomplishing everything you need to and starting 2025 with everything you need.

in this post i will include mindset shifts, how to become a better person, actionable advice, actually becoming a new person <3

👑know what you want.

who do you want to become at the end of this year? what does your dream girl look like? what kind of body does she have? her clothes? who are the people she hangs out with on a daily basis- friends?

create a very clear version in your head and use pinterest to show photos of what your goals are- for ex: girls at the gym, journalling, writing, studying, reading, learning, walking, with friends, spending time outside, going swimming, playing sports, doing a skill/ hobby.

you can also find an idol/ an inspiration- a youtuber, influencer, parent, anyone who you look up to and want to somewhat have a similar life like them. (for ex: thewizardliz, tam kaur) whatever is important to you this goes hand in hand with the next point:

👑goals.

any unfinished projects, any goals you said you'd do in the beginning of the year, get them all down on paper. if you've finished any of them, great!- tick them off. but if you haven't then its time to lock in. pick the ones that are most important to you. that you know that achieving these will 100% get you closer to your goal. doing this makes sure you get rid of the ones that you think are "productive" when in reality they just help you procrastinate.

finish any unfinished projects or books you have before the new year begins because 2025 is about bringing in new, fresh opportunities and things. for me personally, i have a few crochet projects that i want to finish before the end of this year so i can start the new year with nothing old from the year before!

👑cutting.

you are going to be becoming a new person- new mindset, new values, new perception on life, etc. the people in your life currently probably won't align with this new version of you. because if the people around you still only know the old you, your growth won't happen because it will feel extremely unnatural without the right people around you. this means you're going to have to decide whether you are letting any of your friends go. if they don't serve you or make you feel happier or bring in any value to your life, im sorry but its time to cut them off.

but of course if you actually have good, kind, loving friends who grow with you and support you all the way, keep them. the goal is to remove the people who don't serve your highest self. not remove the people who you know will be there for you.

but along with this, if you notice that those people are acting a bit more weirdly/ strangely now that you're improving- giving you backhanded compliments, talking about you behind your back, or just giving you a weird vibe in general, trust your gut. those people don't want to see you going to a higher place where you're thriving- keeping them in your life can be terrible for your highest good.

remember that doing this doesn't mean that you're not going to get better because BETTER ALWAYS COMES. god will give you more people who you couldn't have ever dreamed could be so amazing. so never keep toxic people in your life out of fear that you'll be alone forever. (remember: 8 billion people in the world.)

👑mindset.

dont wait to change your mindset only once you achieve the dream body or the best grade- start now. people can take away everything from you but they can't take away your mindset, skills, and knowledge. here are some mindset shifts to develop:

the abundance mindset. know that everything happens for your highest and greatest good only! everything will work out in the end for you because God hasn't put you on this earth to suffer. if you are religeous (God) or spiritual (the universe) or even believe theres a higher faith, why on earth would you willingly believe that your purpose here is to have a bad time? obstacles will come your way and you will make bad decisions and mistakes. but all these jsut contribute to the person you are today and the person who you'll be in the future!

i will make it. believe in your vision and yourself so fiercely that you know in your bones that you will achieve your goals. you will travel the world and discover new places, you will get to retire your parents, you will get to buy expensive bags for your mom, you will be that rich sister/daughter/ wife, you will help people around the whole world, you will have people around you who love and care for you, you will achieve whatever dream you had since you were a kid and whatever dream you have right now. you will you will you will! know this so strongly but also know that i will achieve there one day, but i also am so blessed and grateful for the life i have right now! i have so many privileges and such an amazing life that i would never trade away for anything.

growth mindset if you fail, IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. please stop being afraid of failing, be afraid of never trying!! you have no idea how freeing failing is because once you do, then you'll never have that "what if" in the back of your mind, never have that small voice asking what could have happened if you had done that thing. so if you do fail, perfect! that means that you won't waste any more time wondering what would have happened. having a growth mindset means that you know you're human and you'll make mistakes, but that doesnt make you a bad person and it doesn't take away your capability to still accomplish your goals. if you fail be able to brush it off, and keep trying again and again. Thomas Edison had 1000 failed attempts to make the light bulb. yet he learnt from what didn't work, took that into consideration, then tried again. and again. and again. and now? your probably sitting in a room with light that you have because he persisted in his goal!

stay positive always have a positive outlook and perspective of life. look at the beauty and what you have instead of what you lack. feel happy joyful energy vibrate through you everyday. do things that just make you a more positive person in general! feeling happier makes you look 100x more attractive and will change the way you interact with the world!!

👑be a better person.

new year new you right? so its time you up level the way you talk and treat others. because the goal isn't to be A b*tch, the goal is to be THAT b*tch! so going around being rude isn't going to do anything for you. being kind however- having manners, checking up on people, asking how their day was, being charismatic, etc- thats what can get you so much more opportunities! you're going to be kind, but not a people pleaser- ofc prioritise yourself always but also at the same time- if you have made a commitment to be somewhere for someone at a certain time, honor that commitment. be the friend you wish you had.

being mean to everyone just because you were hurt by someone else is not it. yes, so you were hurt. grow, evolve, heal. you're stronger than this. you're stronger than you think. you can overcome anything and you can become an even better person, capable of loving fully and wholly!

misc tips:

change what you consume. start watching thewizardliz, tam kaur on youtube. have an inspiration/ idol to look up to in life.

workout. i dont care if its not one of your goals to have a fit body, but don't workout for that. workout because you love yourself. because its actually proven to make you happier, because you deserve a healthy, fully functioning body.

DRINK WATER. do you know how many benefits something as simple as that has? clear skin, unchapped lips, better digestive health, weight management, better health, feel more alert and energized, better for immune system, increases brain power, eliminate toxins, ETC ETC!

have a morning routine that literally sets yourself up for success. stimulate your mind with reading self help, learn something, study, focus on a skill, do something that makes your mind active.

journal & check in with yourself.- document your progress! write about how you felt after everyday. did you feel esp happy during anything? do you feel satisfied at the end of the day? or do you find that your day made you feel tired and drained? do you feel regret and wished you did more at the end of the day?

diary- links with the earlier point. document the day. you can write about it, or what i also like to do is video myself yapping to the camera. talk about whatever you want and let your mind wander free!

you are that it girl! dress the part, smell good, make yourself feel so good that you just can't help but feel like you can conqure anything!!

make sure you're consistently reminded of your goals. what do you want? why do you want to achieve it? reminding yourself of your goals will actually motivate you and make you stop procrastinating. for me its that i don't want any old projects or books having to continue into the new year so i've made a plan that will definitely get it done before the next year!

[rewritingcanon]

hpng characters and how they study for exams because im literally dying rn

rose- academic weapon. need i say more. she has the pomodoro technique down pat. she’s the girl at your local library claiming an entire table with an outlet to herself so she can plug her chunky ass laptop into it and make sure it doesn’t explode on her. she has a sugary iced drink near her at all times but she only takes a sip when she feels she’s deserved it. she eats dinner at 1am because she will not let herself move from her desk until she’s completed the practicals she has laid out in front of her. but trust that she’s losing hair and she’s greasy asf and her short fuse is basically nonexistent. she’s also always randomly sick during exam prep, but her symptoms are never bad enough to warrant a doctor’s visit, it’s only hella inconvenient so she’s chugging neuyrofen and vitamin c like her life’s on the line. no special consideration for her. when she experiences one minor setback (technical malfunction, stubbed her toe, bit her tongue etc) she starts angry crying immediately. just don’t speak to her during exam time, she’ll slap you for breaking her concentration.

albus- exam period what exam period. what are you talking about. these assignments aren’t worth half of his grade what do you mean. you’re telling him the essay was due at 5pm today and not 11:59………………. number one— doesn’t cope well at all. in denial until the twenty-four hour mark before his assignments are due and then will lock in as hard as he can but it is absolutely not a pretty process. so don’t even talk to him about it before then. number two— it’s not like he was relaxing during swotvac (idk the british term for swotvac leave me alone) period, my boy was stressed asf he was just procrastinating. you know when you’re too stressed to do literally anything. albus is a prisoner during exam period free my boy. he can’t study, he can’t relax. when he fucks up because of his poor time management he will psychoanalyse everything about himself and convince himself he’s the stupidest mammal to walk on two legs with five fingers. the mental abuse he puts himself through after submitting the shittiest 2000 word essay is crazy. but he is an affront to the english language (he’s surprisingly alright at exams cuz he’s really good at bulshitting, just don’t make him write anything longform 😭 he can’t back up his impassioned opinions with any evidence ok)

victoire- she is the influencer on studytok that makes studying for eight hours straight look like the most aesthetically pleasing pastime ever. her skin is clean, her hair is washed, her clothes are pressed, her eating and sleeping schedule is routine. she’s so not real.

james- most people think he’s an academic weapon because most people will just see the results he gets at the end of the marking period and conclude he’s hella smart. but if they saw the type of basement-dwelling creature he turns into during the study period they would be horrified. he doesn’t touch grass, he doesn’t leave his room, his lips are chapped asf. in fact his room is growing into a whole new ecosystem to account for the cave-dwelling lifestyle james has going on. he’s got the most psycho routine ever, no sane person would replicate this. he’s so mad-scientist-scribbling-incoherent-observations-at-his-barely-lit-desk-at-midnight core. he never sleeps, he only has intervals of three hour naps so it doesn’t disrupt his sleep inertia. friends can’t text or call or reach out to him— he’s on dnd for the next two weeks. you’d think he died. his siblings think he’s doing cocaine in his room to keep himself up. there is the occasional james sighting around 5am where he may trudge out of his room like a night stalker to make himself tea. his face is gaunt and ghostly and his body is brittle and awkward. don’t speak to him because he’s not going to respond he’s too busy spacing out through the entire exam period. if you do get a word out of him it’ll probably not be in a language understood in this world. best he keep to his room.

hugo- he’s absolutely broke yet the only way he can cope is through impulsive storms of online shopping and doing shopping hauls on his close friends. if he had it his way he’d wind down the night with some dti with the boys but hermione has that boy’s arse glued to the dining chair and she and rose are circling hawks scrutinising all of his answers and then insisting to mark his pracs for him. in all realness they do save him because his marks are always pretty good in the end.

teddy- simply did not study if the subject didn’t appeal to him. one of those woke students that truly believed that marks did not equate to worth. knew he would only feasibly want to pursue careers in the subjects he liked so would prioritise one or two subjects. motivational speaker to all his friends. actually didn’t let exams stop him from living his life. his speeches on the wotters aren’t so successful since a lot of them highkey gaf about their results. rose gets pissed off every time he tries with her. victoire politely ignores him. james is disassociating through the entire speech. he doesn’t even attempt it with percy’s kids. bad luck ted.

lily- if there is a person who is the exact type of person who isn’t built for studying, it’s her. she can get away with it at the start of her schooling, because she is quite smart, but when it gets serious its the biggest humbling ever. she just can’t lock in. she’ll have an exam the next day and suddenly she’s knocking on albus’ door and is willing and wanting to listen to him complain about Life Problem #218. she’s suddenly volunteering to help her mum garden and help her dad cook. she’s going to ‘study sessions’ with friends where she forces them to do anything but study. she’s binge watching shows with james. she’s picking up a new hobby in juggling. she’s attacked by a new hyperfixation she can’t get out of her head and she has to spend 6 hours a day looking at fanart. like girl go study. james will give her the most bomb (but lowkey psycho) tips on how to lock in and she’ll get motivated until she looks at her prac and sees an 8 mark short answer question. like goodnight she’s having a nap. also she eats everything in the fridge, no snacks are safe. fuck the no sugar rule fr. she’s not even hungry she just convinces herself she is so she can do literally anything else besides that 8 mark question waiting for her on her desk in her room.

dominique- would drop out.

scorpius- he’s a fucking freak because he probably likes the stress of exam period 💀 like he probs does feel stress about it, but since he’s always constantly stressed out this isn’t anything new to him. “i get to pour over all my in-detail notes i’ve written on all these subjects through the semester again?? and then do an assessment regarding the in-detail notes i have? yippee!!” his optimism is absolutely not shared by his peers but he’s so oblivious to it. he’s fantasising about what topic questions he’ll get and what his damn body paragraphs are going to be. he’s the guy seated behind you in the exam who unintentionally peer pressures you by requesting for another booklet because he’s written too much in the first. he’s the one joyfully skipping up to you after the test is over and excitedly asking for what you wrote about or what answers you got, and when he shares his responses with you, you realise his points were better or his answers were actually correct. and then he’s emailing his teachers every week asking for when the marks will be released because he’s just so excited. weirdo.

[sockatoothewafflebird]

regarding my previous post abt caitlyn.

"multiple times she's shoved into a seat she doesn't know how to fill, while mentally unfit to fill it. and she accepts it because the eyes of the world are upon her. she's a kiramman, she will take the crown even if it won't stick to her head. even if the crown has bloodstains on it. even if those bloodstains are an oddly familiar shade of pink that she wishes she could run her fingers through..."

that's what my prev post said. and i'd like to add to this. super long analysis warning lmao sorryyy

we've got a lot on caitlyn's plate. she has to fill the shoes of her mother, who DIED, and she isn't given a moment to breathe. she's faced with a hole she'll never be able to fill and she's forced to focus on getting rid of the problem rather than focusing on herself for a while. ambessa doesn't help bringing together the nobles of piltover and saying to basically the whole fucking city "caitlyn kiramman is your leader."

she's trying to run a city while under the influence of emotions she's yet to unpack. it can't be good for her. topped with her having forgotten what she's shooting for.

caitlyn has a heart of gold, only tainted by the corrupt system piltover has in place. i'm still on the fence regarding whether her saying "i thought you were different" was her just saying things in a blind rage not really meaning it, or her saying it because she's still fundamentally prejudiced. leaning towards the latter but we'll just have to see.

in the beginning caitlyn was shooting because she wanted to help people and she wanted to incite change. in a way, that is what she's doing now, but her anger, grief, stress and fear are mutilating her original intent. now she's shooting because she wants revenge, whether she recognizes that or not.

the city needs healing, that's what she was shooting for. she's lost sight of that in her clouded mind; she's suffocated by her responsibilities, drowned by her feelings, and she's forced to push through despite it all.

back to the point. caitlyn has a lot on her plate. a dead mother, an undercity in chaos, a topside in fear, a love interest that she's either making out with or butting head with (no in-between), and the responsibility of controlling all of it. she cannot reasonably do that. there's no fucking way.

i think she's going to hold it all up beautifully at the start. just like normal she seems like an effortless lifter, but she will feel the snapping of her shoulders, breaking of her bones beneath the weight. she can't carry all of that alone, and i think that's what will bring her back to vi, to the undercity.

i can imagine it now...

"i can't do this alone, vi. i should have realized that a long time ago. never should've taken you for granted, never should've doubted you, never should've hit you, god that was so pathetic of me-"

"hey, we'll talk later, cupcake. right now we're kind of about to fucking die so like get your gun please"

thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'll be curled up in my corner with a corkboard covered in pictures and documents connected by thumbtacks and red string, all relating to caitlyn kiramman and/or the world she lives in

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Game of Thrones AU - Lucy x Tommy

As with The Hunger Games AU, it'll be awhile until I am able to actually turn this into a full fledged fic. So I'm gonna give you all some of my ideas here instead. Obviously if you don't want to be spoiled for when I do eventually write a full thing out of this for them, don't read ahead.

Lucy Bolton

Firstborn of Victor Bolton and Genevieve Tully, the eldest sister of Theodore, Elliot, Patrick, and William Bolton.

Despite her father's best attempts, Lucy maintained a tomboyish spirit.

A lover of horseback riding and archery, she could often be found riding amongst the woods surrounding their castle of Dreadfort, with her several trusty dogs in tow.

She showed an interest in ruling from an early age, but was mostly shut out from anything to do with it by her father.

During the particularly cold seasons, her mother would take her on trips with her to Riverrun, hoping that the influence of her family would help to lessen the damage her father's cruelty would have on her.

Lucy became close with her Tully family members, to the point that she identifies more as a Tully than a Bolton.

Tommy Targaryen

The second Targaryen son

Tommy was often treated as a black sheep, both by some of his family and the common people, due to him lacking traditional Targaryen looks.

Rumors often circulated about him being a bastard.

Often butts heads with others at court.

Despite this, he and Arthur are close, with Arthur giving him a significant position at court.

I feel like Arthur would likely make him hand of the king at some point.

Tommy often makes a habit of visiting other places in the kingdom to check in on things.

His dragon's name is Syndor (meaning shadow in High Valyrian). He is huge and fearsome looking, with pitch black scales that make him almost invisible at night. He has lots of sharp spines all over particularly his back. Tommy claimed him at a young age.

Tommy has the strongest bond with his dragon out of all of his siblings.

Tommy loves dragons and would have liked to have worked with them had he not had his princely duties.

Tommy loves flying on Syndor and will often take him out flying when he needs to think or just wants to be alone.

Lucy x Tommy

During one of his annual visits to the north, Lucy caught the eye of Prince Thomas Targaryen.

It did not take long for Tommy to start to court her, and he began to make more and more visits to the north in order to see her.

They managed to keep their relationship a secret, despite Lucy's constant nighttime visits to Tommy's bedchambers when he stayed at Dreadfort, or the moon tea she would consume afterwards.

Her fascination with his dragon (not a euphemism) made Tommy fall even harder for her. Syndor adores her and will often try to nuzzle at her.

Tommy would take Lucy out flying on Syndor often, both during and after their courtship.

Just as Tommy was preparing to convince his family to allow him to marry Lucy, her father promised her away to Matthew Lannister, the cruel heir to Casterly Rock.

Despite Genevieve's attempts to dissuade him from the match, Victor was against Lucy marrying Tommy due to his status as a second son, and questions that had been raised about his legitimacy as a Targaryen.

Genevieve wrote to Tommy informing him of Victor and Matthew's plans, and he flew to Dreadfort, arriving but a day before the wedding was to take place.

He and Lucy were married hastily that night by the heart tree, with Genevieve as a witness and Lucy's brother Teddy taking the place of her father as the one to give her away.

A fight nearly broke out the next day once Victor and Matthew were made aware of what happened.

Victor tried to disown Lucy.

Lucy managed to smooth things over with the Lannisters by revealing her infertility (which she herself had only recently been made aware of), which would have made her unable to give Matthew an heir. But is not as as much an issue with Tommy due to him being a second son.

She flew with Tommy back to King's Landing.

Victor would continue to cause problems. Every time he does so, Tommy suggests (only half joking) that they feed him to Syndor.

Polly nearly had an aneurysm when she found out that Tommy had gotten married, since she had been scheming to marry him off to a noblewoman at court.

This caused some issues and original awkwardness with Lucy and the rest of the family, but Arthur warmed to her fast and Tommy advocated for her to have a place on the council alongside him.

Okay that's probably more than enough for now! I might post more later and I've got some moodboards I'll share with you all soon as well.

Tagging my moots how have been playing in this AU with me!

@justrainandcoffee, @call-sign-shark, @evita-shelby, @peakyswritings

[windyboi101]

Cyn Headcanons

Cyn won the poll I hosted! I also got WAY more notes than I expected so I am only during 30. Sorry, but its the only way to keep me from writing duplicates, low quality HCs, etc. Please like and reblog if you enjoy, as it lets me know I am writing content people enjoy, and it helps to spread my posts around! The more viewers, the more feedback I get, which is the most valuable resource to me.

So, without further ado,

30 Cyn Headcanons (Some serious, some silly)

Serious Headcanons 1. Prior to her disposal, Cyn worked as a toy assembler/demonstrator. This is why she would overexplain her actions, since toys can't exactly speak. This would later go on to influence the Solver's outlook on humanity and how it should be treated.

2. Cyn's cause of fatal error was not a workplace accident, but execution (murder) from a higher up at the company she was employed at. Reason? Up to you, whichever makes it most tragic :)

3. The Cyn we see in the show was only partially controlled by the Solver for some sections. When she was first brought home, barely noticeable influence, like 10% controlled. By the start of episode 5, about 70% of her was controlled by the Solver, but the excitement about Movie Night was genuine!

4. Solver-Cyn left Tessa for last on the night of the Gala Massacre. She had warned Tessa to not come, which shows that she didn't want to have to kill her.

5. While J was the first to fall under control of Cyn's Solver abilities, J was the last to be 'modified'.

6. While the Solver is fully in control of Cyn by the time the events of the show start playing out, Cyn is still within the consciousness of the bodies the Solver takes over. This includes being witness to Uzi's first transformation and Doll's mind.

7. Cyn was certainly younger than the other drones, and due to this she was never switched out of 'Parental Guidance Mode' that censors swearing (Like Uzi being unable to see Nori's crude writings). This is why Cyn couldn't fully swear when she lost grip of N's core.

8. The Cyn part of Solver has abandonment issues. This is why she was willing to clone the main cast of Disassembly Drones rather than see them as just tools. It is also why Cyn was willing to leave them alone if they obeyed her orders, despite her plan that consisted of consuming all matter possible. If she could keep them as friends, she would.

9. While still herself, Cyn had OCD and was very meticulous about her tasks. For the short time she was 'employed' at the Elliot Manor, she was particularly good at stacking and arranging of objects. Unfortunately, this would become arrangements of triangular hexagons and other mysterious symbols shortly before she was deemed too damaged to work.

10. Cyn did not create a solution for the Murder Drones to not burn in the sun because she sees it as a way to keep them restrained. The less time they can be out doing whatever they want, the less likely they are to figure out any sort of deception or way to usurp her.

11. If Cyn did not have to take a more direct approach for her plan to succeed by the end of Episode 7, she would have a fear of Sentinels while not in her 'blackhole' form after the events that transpired in Episode 6.

12. Cyn's 'birthday' was April 14th, 3052.

13. Cyn seems to have an infinite supply of bows. Nobody knows where she gets them from or how she keeps making them.

14. Post-Finale, Cyn would constantly be trying to hijack pieces of technology to gain more power. Fortunately, none of these attempts would get far due to Uzi's capable technological skills.

15. What would keep Cyn docile would be allowing her to hijack weak and limited pieces of technology, like an old game cartridge or a singular floppy disk. However, this ruins any sort of data stored on the item in question but would definitely create the closest example to those early 2000 creepypastas like 'Sonic.exe' and other 'my video game was hAuNtEd' types of scenarios.

Silly Headcanons

16. Cyn genuinely enjoys tea. Unfortunately, she does not know how to drink it properly.

17. If Cyn got an animal plushie of herself like Uzi, N, and V did, it would be an Octopus.

18. Cyn wasn't one to be impatient or throw temper tantrums like in Episode 5, that was all the Absolute Solver.

19. Cyn could have been knocked out for a few hours if you threw a big enough weighted blanket over her.

20. Cyn would host 'oil tasting parties' as a crude way of replicating the activities of her former owners.

21. Cyn's 'startup message' is not "Hello World." It is instead "Violence is the question and the answer is yes."

22. If you gagged Cyn's mouth in any way, she would use sign language to be able to communicate her actions in excessive detail, just like she does when she speaks. ("Light sip" or "Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle.")

23. If you gave Cyn a YouTube channel, she would market it like those "Spiderman Elsagate" videos completely unironically, but then have the content be very in-depth analyses of complex equations and theories.

24. Cyn does NOT know what sex is. She thinks humans reproduced by being delivered a child via Stork.

25. Cyn's knowledge of emojis (her last reaction in Episode 8) comes solely from what she could hijack from V's mind when she still had control, since V was texting Lizzy at some point in time.

26. Cyn sees William Afton as a role model.

27. Cyn's choice of play in GTA would be using mods to make everything fly around at high speeds and explode at random.

28. If you slapped Cyn across the face, her head would spin around on her neck until the momentum fully stopped.

29. Cyn is the kind of drone to taste-test a footprint and be able to know where somebody went.

30. A McDonald's sprite would be enough to kill Cyn.

[sokkastyles]

Got into an argument with an Azula stan who said that Azula foregoing revenge against the Fire Warriors in "Azula in the Spirit Temple" for "betraying" her was Azula learning a lesson after Ty Lee's "betrayal."

And while I do think Azula did learn something from Ty Lee's defection, and that that did influence her decision not to seek revenge against the FW, I don't think she necessarily learned anything about morality or treating people better.

The main lesson Azula takes from Ty Lee's defection is that she can't control people through fear the way she had previously thought she could. Her relationship to the Fire Warriors is similar in that she does control them through fear, but she also uses other manipulation tactics to keep them in line. Specifically, she convinces them that they are better off working for her than they were before, and what better way to do that than to target women who were institutionalized, who she can easily convince that she is saving? That way, she has people whose obligation towards her she can leverage to ensure that she stay under her control.

But then she runs into the same problem she did with Ty Lee, not predicting that the FWs would be more loyal to each other than they are to her, especially when she puts one of them in danger and asks them to disregard one of their own for loyalty to her alone.

There's that tragic scene at the end where Azula is looking down on her former Fire Warriors, and realizes that they, just like Ty Lee and Mai, have with each other something that Azula utterly lacks, and that's companionship and genuine caring for one another. And on some level, I think Azula decides to forget her revenge because she envies that. But if Azula has learned a lesson about truly caring about others, it's only on a subconscious level, because her conclusion is that she can just find new followers. Presumably, ones that she can control better, instead of trying to fight against those she can't control.

So what has Azula really learned? Ty Lee and Mai's betrayal came as a shock because it was the first time someone had ever really stood up to Azula. And as Mai says, Azula failed to understand people in the way she thought she did. But now, Azula knows she can't control someone through fear when friendship and love exist as stronger forces. If anything, she lets the FWs go because she's learned more about when she can control someone, and what kinds of circumstances make someone easy to manipulate.

We don't know very much about how Mai and Ty Lee became friends with Azula, bit their backstories imply that both of them had an emotional void that Azula was able to fill. Ty Lee because of not feeling like an individual in her family, and Mai because of feeling repressed. But that changes when Ty Lee and Mai find something else to fill that need, Ty Lee's being the circus, and Mai's being Zuko. Azula had to take those things away to keep her friends loyal, but that loyalty would not last, because she no longer had that emotional hold on her friends.

So when Azula seeks out new followers in the Fire Warriors, she picks women who are especially vulnerable, whose families have cast them aside, who are desperate. She convinces them that they need her. When they finally realize that they don't, that's when Azula has realized she has lost her main advantage.

This is why a lot of manipulative people end up becoming worse in therapy. Understanding people better can teach a person to empathize, but it can also teach a manipulative person how to manipulate better. Where Azula goes from here is up in the air, but the choice, as it has always been, is hers, whether she chooses redemption or just finds someone else to fill that need for control.

[thewitchesreaper]

"Don't throw those fancy word's at me! We all know you're Agatha's pet. She even said it herself." She sighed loudly looking up in Billy's direction. "I swear, Agatha Harkness gets everything she wants." That wasn't true, and Rio knew it. She knew it deep within her heart. She got Nicky; their son, and Agatha's everything. While Agatha had been left to mourn alone. She was just hurting and grieving the loss of the one woman and human she ever truly loved knowing the kiss Rio had longed for for so long was only meant to take Agatha's life.

"Yes. I mean...Yes. Aunt Rio. And if you don't...I'll...Well I don't know what I'll do right now, because there's rules, and I only break the rules when it's necessary....Fuck." She was getting frustrated. "And I don't know. Like staying out late. Crashing parties. Skipping school. Actually, don't do that stuff. I know I influence people to do absurd things when they think I'm coming for them, but just be safe okay. Do safe, but rebellious things. Like not doing your homework or not eating your broccoli or whatever it is you eat that's healthy." The truth in it all was that she didn't want to cause anymore harm to Agatha, even if she had longed to make the ghost jealous.

Billy stared silently. He wasn't sure what to make of that. Rio was obviously a lot in her own way, but he didn't know what to do. How do you respond to being called a hot middle aged woman?

He supposed from her perspective, Sharon Davis/Hart was a middle aged woman. Weird.

"I guess. I am your ex's... apprentice," He said carefully. Familiar. Pet. He liked apprentice more. "Oh! Or protégé."

He tilted his head. "You want me to call you Aunt Rio? What sort of bad influence are we talking about?"

[ruvviks]

"The outer reaches of space remain unexplored by humankind to this day, but its greed is relentless. We grasp and yearn and hunger for knowledge— answers to questions we cry out into the endless void expecting to understand, expecting the stars to respond. The stars will not, but one day something else will— and we will not like what it has to say." — Rome Solomon, Beyond the Exosphere (1965)

taglist (opt in/out): @shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart, @vvanessaives, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman, @celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister, @killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree

[cuntstable]

marcille laios friendship driving me bonkers. just in general but also like how falin plays into their dynamic. falin brought them together and falins the most important person in their lives but after her its probably each other and marcie and laios literally pieced her back together bone by bone….. craziest inlaw situation ever and theyre also best friends forever. waaaaah

[widowshill]

— Are you sure Burke wants to buy Collinwood? — Yes, he said so. I'm just afraid it's only the beginning of what he wants.

[lynnemoonsong]

You're asking them for logic and consistency when they just try to follow all the trends they can to milk bored players, they don't want players who question things, only the ones who pay.

I'm far from the only person who's noticed this and commented on it, or the issues within the company (such as no longer having a writing team) that have gotten SSE/SSO to this point. As for logic and consistency, that is something I like to have in a story-driven MMORPG, yeah. (I'm also neurodivergent, so. There's that.)

I don't play SSO like it's a horse collecting sim, personally (though there are players that do); for me, I treat it like a single-player game and I'm here for the main story + side quests & taking care of the few horses my character does own in-game (plus hanging out at various locations as a rp thing). There are issues I have with SSO, but they're more on a company and character design level + what issues I have with the fandom are more of a "stop acting like every little change is doomsday" and "I am well within my right to dislike certain characters and post about it on my blog; leave me alone and stop acting like I'm insulting/attacking y'all personally just bc I don't like y'all's fave hot edgy butch woman". (Who is one of the main villains, incidentally.)

So yeah, there are issues with SSO and SSE as a company, no argument there. Especially now that the main story is ground to a halt while behind-the-scenes stuff goes on until SSE comes up with a way to write the Soul Riders vs. the Dark Riders and Garnok battle (if you're caught up on all the main story quests up to the point of training daily with the Soul Riders, that is).

But to bring this back to Sabine (which the original post was about):

Her Starshine Legacy model and characterization was the pretty standard "rich, snobbish stable brat" trope in horse girl media (like, that's a feature of the genre), with the added bonus of her being a dark magical girl via her Dark Rider status (who also commits petty crimes and animal cruelty, but, y'know, who cares about that, right? /s), because SSL and SSO are essentially a mishmash of the Magical Girl and horse adventure genres.

This character model for Sabine (which was held until early 2022) did not earn nearly as much fan engagement, nor comment from SSE.

Her character remodel in 2022 drastically changed her look to the point she was not recognizable as the same character & SSE allowed the fanbase that exploded around her as a result to influence how she was written in-game so that subsection of the fanbase could more easily ship their OCs with her. It's been noted that SSE's inspiration for her redesign came from matadors and the Star Stable novels.

SSE also heavily pushed how hot Sabine's new character model was in official advertising and on social media, when Star Stable Online is, in its home country of Sweden, a game marketed toward young children and preteens. The company, noticeably, does not do this for any other main or recurring characters in the game, not even Ydris (who also has an adult/older teen fanbase that sexualizes him).

Goddess forbid people criticize Sabine's redesign and point out how it encourages negative stereotypes of WOC along with how she's oversexualized by both her fandom and SSE (and again, how that plays into overall perception IRL of women of color), because her stans will take those criticisms as a personal attack.

Like I said, the fangirls thirsting over Sabine post-update in fandom spaces is one thing (and I've curated my online experience to avoid it accordingly), but it's another thing entirely for SSE itself to push it so hard to the exclusion of even the other Dark Riders or the Soul Riders. Altogether, it's obnoxious, and I'm exhausted as someone who is not a Sabine / Dark Rider fan to begin with yet still has to see it on SSE's official social media pages.

The fact that it's an ongoing trend with SSE to ignore the story and characterizations in favor of chasing / cashing in on the hot shiny new pop culture thing on social media and in-game does not help.

But that's all the point. Old SSO was full of interesting references, little mysteries to discover, the story was nice compared to a lot of horses games, the characters and their designs were on the same page because it was actually something not only made for money. SSO now is a horse collecting game with a very subtle simp side and a tiny bit of story because they can't decently exploit only the rest. It was predictable when they started to change the game, they wanted something able to attract a large and more ready to pay for everything fandom. You're asking them for logic and consistency when they just try to follow all the trends they can to milk bored players, they don't want players who question things, only the ones who pay. There's nothing more behind, nothing to expect anymore with them.

[quietwingsinthesky]

the amount of time i spend thinking about Even carrying the metacrisis doctor’s fob watch is really quite disproportionate to how much ive fleshed out that part of the story in my head

[lesbianwyllravengard]

Going back into my cave after this but Wyllstarion x The Princess Diaries au. Wyll as Mia, Astarion as Nicholas, Tav as Andrew. You understand.

[reiverreturns]

do you ever just think about how eivor’s whole personal arc is set in the context of her believing varin was a coward and weak for sacrificing himself to kjotve for his clan. not understanding that love doesn’t exist stagnant and immutable. learning, in time, that it’s in action and choices. choosing others, your family, your clan, over yourself. forgiving others, your family, your clan, in spite of yourself. how sad it is that she always sees what her father did (and also what styrbjorn did) as a passivity when she herself is so unwilling to be subject to her own fate. she’s constantly in company but so fucking alone because she all she understands love to be is empty words and sentiment. She can act on it but can’t recognise the act from others, until she can, looking into the faces of the people of ravensthorpe that choose to follow her, to love her. and she chooses them right back. 

and ubisoft... ubisoft thinks eivor just decides to up and leave them all. in the middle of the night. to wander alone for the rest of her life. because odin said so.

i just.

[trashlie]

Shinae the Light vs Yui the Shadow

This post heavily discusses episode 138 but also pulls from 170, 179, and 180 and discusses things up to 214, but nothing from the FP epsiodes! 

Earlier today I read this post and it got me thinking a LOT - and trust me that I’m going to ramble about something else shortly outside of this lol - regarding shadows and lighting!

One of the episodes that most deliberately plays with lighting and shadows in a very in your face way is episode 138, where Shinae speaks to Rand about wanting to renegotiate her contract. It’s an interesting episode, because Shinae is met with another side of Rand than the man (the father) who was trying to help Nol. This version of him shuts her down immediately and informs her that he has no jurisdiction over her contract.

As readers, we can deduce that he is speaking this way because Yui is around and he cannot divulge any bit of knowledge that he has been working with Shinae, that there is any sense of relationship there. But also, he isn’t lying in that he can do nothing about her contract. Interestingly, he is in the light where she is in the shadow. He’s not the focus of this moment, but I find that very interesting regardless - Rand is unable to help because he doesn’t have that power. They aren’t on equal footing here. One is in the dark, one has the power of illumination - he knows more intimately than Shinae who and what Yui is.

But my thought is not about Rand but rather Shinae and Yui.

Throughout their conversation, Shinae is in the shadow. She is part of Yui’s trap, in a pit she cannot crawl out of. Yui wields power over her both in the sense of her employer and also as a person who has played with her as prey. Yui, too, is in the shadow. While some light casts on her, she faces away from it and it doesn’t reach her face.

I’ve wondered a lot about Yui and what her situation is, why she is the kind of person she is. I don’t think she’s without reasons - I just think we don’t know enough about her to really know yet. One of the popular theories is that of the Mukoyoshi Theory - that is, that a Japanese family with no male heirs will “adopt” the husband of (one of) their daughter, who will take their last name, rather than she take his. In this case, Yui comes from a Japanese family with a family business and it is deducible that there is no male heir. Hansuke’s family name is Shishido - not Hirahara, which means he’s related by his aunt (and Yui has mentioned her before to him). Rand, who we know is not Japanese, married into the Hirahara family and adopted their name and became a part of their family. Thus, his affair with Nessa is even more of a blight - he has a duty to the Hirahara family. It is his responsibility to not mar their name and upkeep their prestige.

We could do a whole think piece about this, and it really gets into my thoughts on Rand and Yui’s relationship, but to sum it up: it is clear that Yui wants to be the one in control, but must defer to Rand, and that she resents it. This is HER family business. I think she wishes that she was the one in control, and that she could wield that control without having to go through Rand. Yui harbors resentment for a patriarchal society in which she wields no power. There’s a lot to read into re: the way she wields her femininity as a tool, but that’s a whole other post. The point is: Yui resents that she does not have the power she thinks she deserves, the power that she’s capable of, and that fully plays into Shinae.

But, for the sake of this post at this time, it’s essentially that Yui, too, exists in the dark, in the shadows. She can only run this company through others - through her marriage to Rand, through Kousuke, the sole heir. But as powerful and intimidating as she is, she, too, is trapped. She, too, is relegated to the darkness, because it is only from the shadows that she can operate. Yui wears a constant mask, always putting on the front of a concerned mother, a feeble frail lady, a sweet simpering maternal woman. The real Yui lives in the shadows. She’s not allowed to freely be the person she wants to be, she puts on a front for society, for the patriarchy, for the sake of being able to move in the shadows.

Shinae’s objective is to escape the shadow, the prison, the dark. She longs to escape poverty, she longs to escape the prison she turned herself into, she longs to escape the job in which she feels unsafe, the contract that she signed, the agreement she made under false premises. She longs to escape Yui’s reach. And while she can’t escape most of those yet, she still works towards the light. unlike Yui, who has accepted that she belongs to and operates in the shadows and pulls people into them with her, Shinae strives for the light at all times. She wants to be a better daughter, a better friend. She strives to be able to help out her father and create a better life for them. And especially since the black and white formal, Shinae’s inclination towards the right side, the side of light, has grown stronger.

It’s not a bad vs good kind of thing so much as Shinae chooses to work honestly. She’s trying to address the things that scare her - the insecurity she felt about Maya and Rika’s friendship, the quiet plaguing fear that maybe Minhyuk also just tolerated her. She’s had difficult conversations with her father, she has had difficult conversations with her friends. Instead of shirking into the shadows, Shinae moves towards enlightenment. Even if things end, isn’t it better for them to end on good terms, with understanding? Even if she gets hurt, isn’t it better than she gets hurt being honest, than never progress at all? Even if she fails, isn’t it better to make effort than live with regret?

Shinae leaving Yui by way of the light is pointed. Yui’s goal is to pull everyone down with her. If she lives in the shadows, so, too, must everyone else. And the thing about this scene is - I think Yui means it, genuinely. She has a very different way of seeing the world than Shinae and even much of us as readers. Shinae believes in working hard; Yui understands that privilege and connections are more powerful. Yui can see in Shinae the makings of a strong, powerful woman - but power doesn’t have to look one way. For Yui, power is controlling those around her, especially the ones who are meant to have power over her. In a world where men are the all-power, Yui feels powerful when she can manipulate and push them around.

But when she tells Shinae she doesn’t want her to make the “wrong choices” I believe her. It’s just... what does Yui consider to be the wrong choices? Much in the same way that so much of ILY changes based on whose perspective you view it through re: Nol and Kousuke, we the same of Shinae and Yui. Yui is a woman who knows how to make the world yield to you, how to get what you want out of it.

This is a whole other tangent, but because I’m trying to validate my Yui views lol, I believe this is part of what Yui has done with Meg and Alyssa. In fact, I feel like Yui has absolutely treated Meg and her obsession with Kousuke as a joke - what woman demeans herself in such a way for a man? It’s the complete opposite of Yui’s power. Men yield to HER, not the other way around. Is Alyssa a test of her will, to see how much she will bend before she can break? Does Yui hope to find a hidden spine in her, someone who will eventually push back? I think that’s why she has shifted to Shinae - she has the fight and the spirit that Yui wants to mold. Shinae is strong and faces her fears. But she also stands for the complete opposite of Yui, which makes her a fun challenge.

As Shinae moves into the light and leaves Yui to the shadows, Yui makes an attempt to pull her back into them. Or maybe, rather, she’s planted the seed? It’s an ominous moment, Yui’s certainty that there will be a time when Shinae will go running to her, will want her help, her step up in the world. But at this moment, Yui is unsuccessful. Though Shinae cannot renegotiate her contract like she wanted, she still makes the choice to deny Yui’s offering. She will continue her path in the light. She refuses to let Yui pull her down into her shadows.

As much as we view this story as a game of chess between the white and dark side, so much of it gets told through the shadows and the light. Who else spends his time illustrated in the shadows, existing outside of peoples’ view, wearing a mask out in the light? Nol is one of Yui’s prey - he’s learning how to stand on his own feet as himself, but so much of his imagery has been enshrouded in shadows, a victim of Yui for so long that he’s forgotten how to make his way out of the dark, until now.

Shinae has the ability to bring him out of the shadow, to give him the eventual courage to exist outside of the shadows, to allow himself to enjoy the light. Every time he turns away, he finds himself drawn back in. Every moment he’s angled himself away from her in effort to stay where he thinks he belongs, to skulk in the dark, he still ends up moving towards her.

And every time that Nol choose to go towards Shinae, he moves towards the light.

Like literally lol. In the pool, he basked there in the dark, willing to finally throw in the towel accept that peace, but because of Shinae, because of his penance, he chose to move towards the light once again. Maybe he thought it would be for the last time, but we’ve seen better.

Shinae guides him back out of the shadows.

And that brings us to my next post: how Shinae is the true adversary of Yui. 

Really, go read @denjidomination​’s post! It’s got me going off on a whole different tangent than I planned to this week, but I think I’ll be able to get to it before the next update. I’ve said for so long now that Shinae is very likely meant to help bridge Nol and Kousuke, but I think more than that, Shinae is the guiding light for them - that in very different ways, both Nol and Kousuke exist in the shadows and are imprisoned by their circumstances and experiences, and Shinae, I think, is the one who will be able to help them fight back against that darkness. I don’t mean this in a “She will save/fix them” kind of way as much as her presence in their lives, what she means to them, will help them to move from that which holds them down. 

But I have a headache so I have to work on that another time lol