#My sister made me watch this with her on her bday and I could only think “omg like wyllstarion” the entire time

[lesbianwyllravengard]

Going back into my cave after this but Wyllstarion x The Princess Diaries au. Wyll as Mia, Astarion as Nicholas, Tav as Andrew. You understand.

[smashboxgirl26]

washing machine heart

college student! jean kierschtien x college student! reader a/n: late but for my bby jean's bday bc he's little secret bf <33 (also i know that the song washing machine heart is not implying this scenario at all but i thought it was cute and it's 12 am so i dont care)

It was about three am when you stumbled into the laundromat, immediately blinded by the fluorescent lights (and you could just feel the way they buzzed into your eyebags) with your stupid laundry basket that was filled to the brim tucked under your arm. Your dirty, old converse squeaked across the linoleum floor as the doorbell chimed, alerting the only other guy who was there — tucked in the corner at the table by the washers, hunched over to do his homework — but you couldn’t really find the energy to care about your disturbing presence: not when you hadn’t done your laundry in almost a month and needed a pair of panties for the next day. 

You went through the sluggish motions of dumping all your clothes into washer (trying to separate lighter and darker colors but ultimately leaving the couple of white socks that got thrown in with the dark clothes because you just didn’t care at that point) and adding the detergent and softener before plopping yourself down at one of the tables near the front.

You’d made sure to stick your laptop on top of your clothes before you left your dorm so you could try and finish your final project that you’d been procrastinating for way too long; but even as it sat in front of you on the table, you couldn’t really find the will to open it. Not when you’d been sleep deprived for this long. 

Instead, you let your eyes wander towards the guy who was sitting at the table across from you, studying the crinkle in his eyebrows as you let yourself stare off into space — only the sound of the washers and dryers running in the background. 

Something about his brown eyes and mullet looked familiar, maybe you both took a class together; or you both stayed in the same hall? 

Eventually, your eyes landed on the dog bed that was laying on the seat next to him — wrinkling your nose in surprise. You hadn’t seen any dog when you walked in.

But your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of huffing coming from your feet, and you peered down to see a tiny black chihuahua staring back up with needy eyes. As soon as you made eye contact, he jumped up onto your lap and sat down — like he’d picked you to go home with — before pawing at your arm as if he was urging you to pet him.

The guy noticed after a couple seconds, rolling his eyes at the dog as he apologized. 

“Ah, sorry about him. Max, c’mere.”  He tried to lure Max back with a treat, and when that didn’t work, he stood up from his table to come pick the little dog up. But as soon as he got close, the dog growled from his spot in your lap — and the guy just frowned.

“Hey, what’re you growling for?” you looked to the little dog, who’d now taken to staring up at you with his big, empty looking eyes.

“I've been dog sitting for my sister for the past week,” the guy groaned, watching as Max made himself comfortable again in your lap. “And he doesn’t really like me that much for some reason. How’d you make him so comfortable with you in like, five seconds?”

“I didn’t try to,” you shrugged, just letting out a small laugh. “I guess I’m just the dog whisperer.”

“Lend me some of your powers then,” he shook his head. “Max hasn’t let me touch him all week, let alone coming and sitting in my lap like that.”

“I honestly don’t know why, but dogs have always liked me,” you let your hand fall over Max’s head, letting out a small chuckle as he moved his head under your hand to insinuate for you to keep petting him. “My sister used to get so upset when she realized our dog liked me way more than it liked her.”

“Well, guess I can’t go against fate now can I?” he let out a small smile, watching as Max continued to push for you to give him attention — eventually sitting down at your table and sticking out his hand for you to shake. “I’m Jean, by the way.��

“Y/N,” you reciprocated the action, though Max appeared distressed at your hand leaving his head.

“I feel like I'm taking a class with you or something.” Jean stared off like he was thinking. “You just look really familiar.”

“Do you say that to every girl you meet?” you teased, watching a flustered expression jump up to his face.

“What? I wasn’t — That wasn’t… I didn’t mean it like that.” He corrected himself before letting out a small laugh. “I was being serious, I swear.”

“I’m just joking,” you laughed. “I was actually thinking the same thing. What dorn do you live in?”

“Harrison Hall.”

“That’s where I am too.” You couldn’t really help the cutesy little smile that rose up to your (probably exhausted looking) face. “I knew I saw you around there somewhere.”

“I always come here ‘cause the washers and dryers on my floor are basically broken,” Jean let his elbows rest on the table. “I think it’s also cheaper to do it here anyway.”

“That’s the same reason I do it here,” you nodded. “And there’s no parties going on in the background when you’re trying to study and do laundry at the same time.”

“That’s true,” he laughed. 

“All right Max,” you turned back to the round eyes staring at you from your lap and patted his head softly. “I’m gonna give you back to your uncle now, so I can finish my project and turn it in.”

Max protested at first when you put him into Jean’s hands, but he seemed to calm down when Jean stroked his ears and placed him back in his bed where he promptly fell asleep.

You sent Jean a small smile before finally opening your laptop, for perhaps the thirtieth time that night, ready to finally finish your conclusion and get your project over with.

You had to stop halfway in between when the washers you used alerted you that your clothes were done and had to be stuffed in the dryer. All of Jean’s clothes were basically done by that point, which he stood at one of tables to fold them — while only one remaining batch tumbled in the dryer. He’d be done soon though, which you were envious of.

When you finally finished your stupid paper, submitted it, and slammed your laptop shut, you looked back to see that there was still a while for your clothes to finish drying; immediately, in your sleep depriven state, you let your head fall to the table to take a short nap while whispering lies about how you’d wake yourself up in five minutes.

It wasn’t until the doorbell chimed once more that you woke up: needing to shield your eyes from the sun coming in through the windows of the little laundromat

You groaned, realizing you had to get your clothes out of the dryer before someone took them out and just dumped them somewhere, but stopped when you noticed them all neatly folded and placed in your laundry basket — sitting right next to you on your table.

On top, though, laid a little sheet of paper with Jean’s number and a smiley face.

[notebookmusical]

Hi!!! I missed talking to you! I'm so sorry you're not feeling well. I am happy you had a nice trip though! I forgot to tell you that Boston makes me think of this one song from 5th or 6th grade with the lyric I think I'm going to Boston where no one knows my name..lol and I hadn't thought of that song in years. My brother's bday was good! We just made dinner for him but I got pretty drunk before I could eat cuz I had two drinks and 4 shots. At one point my sister was on the floor laughing so hard haha. I usually just like to have margaritas, or something in a can though. What about you? I'm guessing you don't have any siblings..do you? Your trip sounds fun. What musical and concert did you see? Hope you have more strength and get better soon. I hope I don't become sick during the winter months but I usually do.

Omg how were you 9 in 6th grade? Did you skip grades or is the school system just different internationally? I'm sorry..I really don't know so I'm genuinely asking haha. Was it also the Teardrops on my Guitar video!!! I remember finding it randomly in 5th grade and I never looked back haha. Ooh yes..so usually at the end of the year my sister and I pick out top 10 albums and songs of the year..so maybe I'll share a list when the time comes. I can recommend you a few of my favorites by them if you want just to see if you like it so just let me know..since that is not technically new music to me from this year. I think you recommended Del Water Gap to me once and I finally listened to his album last week and enjoyed it. This week, i am listening to new music from some of my favorite bands..Plain White Ts, Cannons and Bad Suns, which are kinda in a similar genre to Del Water Gap. Although his music almost sort of reminds me of the 1975 too. Tied Together with a Smile was probably really special cuz I think that was one of the only times she has performed it live. Ooh that's awesome! It would be a dream for me to go to the Europe tour to see her and Paramore but it sadly won't happen but I think that's so cool. It will be interesting if there will be any changes to the show by then.

It's literally one of my favorite movie musicals so I hope you can watch it soon. It's a little weird and crazy but also unique and interesting to me and I love it! Ya i think it's just different from the original movie cuz it felt more updated and modern. Idk how I feel about the cast..like Cady and Janis seem off to me but I like Renee so hopefully it's good but I don't have high expectations either. Idk if I will see it or not either. Oh wow cool! I'm not sure what immersive actually means but that's so far away haha. I can't imagine planning anything for then. Every concert I go to is usually so last minute but it seems cool.

I looked up the book and it seems pretty similar to conversations with friends actually so idk if I would like it. I've actually been reading Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes cuz the movie came out. I'm actually almost done and only have two chapters left. I was able to read it pretty fast but I basically speed read it and skim read some parts too. I think it was okay but I wasn't sure if I really liked it but I also don't usually read that genre either. It felt too long and was just okay to me. It definitely wasn't as interesting as Hunger Games. I think the movie will be better though and I might see it this weekend and can let you know how it is if I do. But I'm still proud of myself for mostly finishing it..since I never do that. But it has been on my shelf and I knew I wouldn't read it if I just saw the movie, but I also think you could just see the movie and don't have to read it. But you should definitely be familiar with hunger games if you do, but I hadn't read or couldn't remember much of Mockingjay and was fine so it's up to you.

It is pretty! I'm excited for the new Bleachers album and love the Japanese House album too. Sunshine Baby will probably be one of my fav songs of the year. I will listen to Sabrina's EP when it gets closer to Christmas. It seems like you have a lot of vinyls..I don't really play mine as much but just have a collection of old musicals cast recordings I can find and my absolute fav artists.

She sang Slut on the piano and I loved it so much! She also sang Suburban Legends and Stay Beautiful..which goes with my point about how those songs were pretty similar ideas. I always always connected Stay Beautiful and Dorothea since I first heard it and I think Suburban Legends is another layer of that. Also Maisie's song Truth is has a similar lyric to this song. I love the song a lot now and it has really grown on me. But in the song she says I always knew it and used the word ruin as well so I thought that was interesting, even if the songs are still pretty different. Then my sister pointed out that Taylor sings the lyrics truth is in one of the vault songs. I didn't believe her at first but she was right! She sings it in Now that we don't talk! Truth is I can't pretend it's platonic..its just ended, and it just felt like the craziest connection to me. She also sang Me and So it Goes as a pair! Haha well I would say the same for me and my sister..she is like dark and wears black and I'm more like Lover and love to wear pink. But I also love rep which also has a lot of love songs. I am also Red and Folklore haha but my aesthetic is definitely like Lover. So people seem very split on if new music or the other two rerecordings is coming first next year so I guess I'll ask your opinion on that. I kinda think she wants to finish out the rerecordings cuz of the eras tour but I can see an argument for her wanting new music out too I guess. As for rep..I think she will announce it at one of her next shows in February and sing IDSB to announce it since that's the only song left. I also think the karma video hinted at rep being announced around then. I also hope she is taking care of herself..especially after everything that happened this week. It made me so sad but also Taylor shows and music makes me feel better when I feel sad but I always hope she does what's best for her. Thank you. I didn't mean for it to come off that way really but I just wanted to let you know in case things get too busy for me. It was so nice to hear from you and I really hope you're taking care of yourself too!!!

hi hi friend !!! it is okay 🤍 i have laryngitis :( (and i'm still getting over the plague that i picked up in boston) so that's fun! it's funny because i texted my best friend that and she was like "who said that? webmd?" and i was like "no the urgent care doctor" 😭 but it's funny because i am very good at going down a webmd spiral </3

i don't have any siblings! i'm an only child! my drink of choice is usually white wine / rose — i really love trader joe's peach pie wine but that's seasonal (i stock up during the summer though)! i love my drinks sweet, and if i'm drinking something ✨ fun ✨ i'll usually get either a b-52, a lemon drop, strawberry daiquiri, peach bellini or a espresso martini. but not a very big drinker (especially in the last year, with all my health stuff). i hope you don't get sick in the winter either!! 🤍

you're totally fine! they start school earlier in hong kong, which is how i was 9 in 6th grade! it was indeed teardrops!! and then i went down a rabbit hole, found all her music — and her unreleased stuff — at that time, and then just fell in love! i would love to see your top 10 albums + songs of the year — i will do the same and we can chat about our favorites! and yes, i loveeee del water gap! i'm super bummed his seattle concert was when i was in boston, because otherwise i definitely would've gone. speaking of concerts, i had to sell my japanese house concert ticket which i'm really bummed about but ... given laryngitis and everything, it's definitely the right move. i've never heard of bad suns or cannons but i'll give them a listen soon 🤍 and yes, i loveee the 1975-esque sound, that's one of the things that first drew me to DWG!

i wonder if she'll sing castles crumbling instead of long live in europe, or if she'll do both, since hayley will be there? some of my friends are going and i'm really really excited for them — going to make them bracelets too!

i am very bad at doing things super last minute! i am incredibly type a which is something i'm working on! but i just really like knowing what i'll be doing next and all that!

i think i'm going to try to do a hunger games reread and then read TBOSAS in december!! i'm hoping to finish at least reading cleo & frank this month, and then work on night circus, les mis, and hunger games etc. in december? i'm trying to be a bit more realistic with goals and factor in plans and also ... sickness, since that just seems unavoidable at this point! let me know how you find the movie! it's taken over my entire tiktok fyp!

i have a lot of vinyls, yes! but i don't spin them as much as i should (oops)! i have some old musical cast recordings too (and some newer ones), but i actually very rarely listen to cast recordings on vinyl! i think once and sunday in the park with george are the only ones i've listened to? sitpwg was my first vinyl! very special to me 🤍

oh i love the truth is → parallel! and i was SO happy to hear her sing me! although i was manifesting it for my friend who is seeing her in tokyo! i just love how every surprise song pairing is so so so good. just like, a completely unmatched discography. and i also think she'll do reputation soon and then debut last! which would be great for ME! i want her to release debut close to the end of next year so i can bank on a debut vault song haha! i hope she's doing okay too :(

this is what i thought of when i read your message about you and your sister! my friend and i always joke this is us too:

hope you have a good thanksgiving if you celebrate! / long weekend!! 🤍

[seawatersongs]

☽ October 20, 2023 ⸙͎

weight: 132.0 lbs

water intake: 102 oz

breakfast - 7:37 am - waffle with honey cherry sauce

lunch - 11:00 am - orange juice, raspberries

snack - 1:00 pm - coconut pineapple ice cream

dinner + dessert - 4:45 - coconut water, steamed buns, samanco

exercise: a lot of walking today (406)

Total: 1,715 calories | Net: 1,309 calories

fast started: 6:00 pm

☽༺⭒♡⁠⭒༻☾

Notes:

Woke up early today at 6:45 am, and made breakfast. It was delicious, and I took my duloxetine. I was determined to have a good day. I did the kitchen chores (bucket, putting away dishes, breakfast dishes) then took my kid to school.

After, I called the place I was supposed to be interviewing at to inform them I had a job (pending background check) & I would not be interviewing with them. This wasn't my smartest move but truthfully I wasn't in the headspace for an interview, and I wasn't certain I was going to be on time.

I went to donate plasma, where they gave me my weight. By doctor recommendation I am not allowed to step on the scale at home because it only stresses me out, so I'm weight checking by bi-weekly donations (mon & fri) and doctors appointments.

Then, I walked home and ate lunch. I made a tuna sandwich while home but ultimately only had a few bites before packaging it up. I wasn't actually hungry, I realized, and I'm not supposed to force myself to eat if I'm not hungry anymore since it's a binge trigger.

I rested a little, then walked to get my kid from school. We walked to go to the boba tea station, but it was too far and too hot, so we went to Baskin robins instead. We got kid's scoops and a rug. Then walked home so we could get ready for her sleepover at my sister's house.

During this my job called to set up orientation (officially have the job 😊🎉) but I missed the call, I called back, and then now I'm waiting for a callback. Phone tag. If I don't get the call tonight I'll call bright and early tomorrow. Set it up Monday if possible, or tomorrow. So I don't have work on my bday.

Once kid was picked up I went to Asian market for steamed buns, and also picked up strawberry samancos. Had dessert while waiting for buns to cook. Then ate the buns with Gatorade and watched octonauts. I love that show, my six year old thinks she's too old for it but watches with me every time.

I have bad separation anxiety so I spent the rest of the night laying in her bedroom area. If she was gone longer maybe my brain would be able to get to a point I'd get over it but she's never gone longer than 16-18 hours. I do fine if I can distract myself but I'm not always good at doing that.

Laying down in her room helped calm the anxiety to a manageable level. Got some sleep, but my sleep is always restless these days.

All in all, it was a very productive and good day. I didn't binge and best of all I felt much more energetic and positive. It could be the elevation of my duoloxitine,or the relief of actually expressing my needs to my doctor yesterday, or just the good day - but today I felt good for the first time in a long time.

[hisserenity]

My Letters to You

Pairing: Urban Wyatt x fem!reader

Warnings: very sad, mentions of death & maybe, possibly singledad!urban. (I hope to write more happy stuff but this came from a dream:))

Maggie Lindemann Face claim

In which Urban Wyatt’s childhood friend and long term girlfriend dies in a car accident but little does he know, she left him letters in case she left this world before him.

Y/FULL/NAME

24 years of age

Y/BDAY 1997 - May 30th 2022

On May 30th 2022 at approximately 4:22 pm, a tragic car accident resulted in the loss of 4 lives with one being Y/N. Y/n is survived by her father Y/dads/n, her brother (insert name), her sister (insert name), her long term boyfriend Urban Henry Wyatt and her daughter Novaleigh Ruth Wyatt as well as many other family and friends. Funeral services will be held at Beevis Funeral Home from 12pm until 2pm immediately followed by Y/N’s celebration of life which will take place at Thomas Moore park from 3pm until 5pm. Please join us this Sunday beginning at 12pm. All are welcome.

Urban sighs, placing your obituary beside his mothers just as he hears little footsteps making their way down the stairs of the house you once shared with him. ‘Daddy!!’ He turns around seeing the sweet little girl the two of you created together. He kneels down before her. ‘Yes my sweet girl?’ He asks her. ‘Can you help me? I tried to do it myself and I can’t get my dressed zipped up and its making me upset.’ She huffs now with a pout on her face. Urban smiles down at her with a small laugh. ‘Just like your mommy baby. Turn around my love.’ Once he gets her dress zipped, she turns around excited. ‘Thank you daddy! I’m going to grab my shoes and I’ll be ready to go, okay? Don’t leave without me! I don’t want to miss seeing mommy one last time.’ She says to her father with tears now filling her eyes. It almost makes Urban break down right then and there but he stays strong for her, he needs to be strong for her. He picks Novaleigh up and she immediately places her head in the crook of his neck as her tears begin to fall. ‘I miss mommy, daddy. I’m so glad to have you but why did momma have to go? I wasn’t ready daddy. Please don’t leave me like momma.’ His heart strings about tear apart at her words. ‘I miss her too, sweet girl. The choice to leave wasn’t hers baby, I promise. If she could, mommy would be here right now dancing with us all through the house. I promise you Valeigh that daddy is always going to be here okay? I love you lil ma.’ She lifts her head to look up at her father. ‘I love you to daddy, with my whole heart.’ He kisses her temple. ‘Let’s go get your shoes so we can go see mommy yeah?’ Novaleigh nods her head as she and her dad makes their way back up the stairs.

————————————————————

After the the services

Urban sits on the couch with the tv playing as if he is actually watching what’s on the screen. Instead, he is just staring at the wall of pictures you had made with all of your memories from prom, the birth of Novaleigh, all the way up until 4 days before you passed. The day he took you to a sunflower field, the look on your face as you turned around to face him was magical that he just had to capture the moment. God he missed you. With Novaleigh now in bed, he makes his way to the fridge to grab a water when he notices something sticking out from under the coffee machine, your coffee machine. He grabs it thinking that it was a piece of trash that snuck its way underneath but soon realizes that there are words across it.

My Urby Kurby

(To only be opened if in the worst case scenario, I have left you behind)

He hesitantly unfolds the small piece of paper.

My Forever,

If you’re reading this then that means that one of two things have occurred. One, we have broken up (I really hope this never happens) or two, I have passed on and left you and lil ma behind (if this is the reason, then I am so sorry my love)

But there is a shoe box hidden on the highest shelf in the hallway closet downstairs that is for you. When you are ready, please open it. It has been years in the making. There’s some pretty good stuff in there lol. Anyways baby, always remember that I’m in love with you and will be until the very end of eternity. Muah!!

He folds the piece of now tear stained paper as he makes his way to the location you provided him. He reaches to the top shelf and feels for the shoebox before successfully retrieving and finding his way back to the couch. My Letters To You, the box reads. He removes the lid to reveal papers full to the brim all which appear to be numbered. He grabs the first letter. Taking a deep breath, he begins to read.

Urban,

If you’re reading this then that means that either we have broken up or I am no longer with you. I hope and pray that it isn’t the latter but if it is then I am so deeply and incredibly sorry. But please don’t grieve over me for too long, you have to be strong for lil ma, she needs you more than ever right now. If I’m gone, please tell her that mommy loves her more than anything and make sure to give her all the kisses, hugs, love and adoration in the world for me. You two were everything to me, I love you both so much.

The letters within this box are numbered by the order they should be read in. I tried to stack them in order but in case they went crazy, I thought putting numbers on them would be the best way. Anyways, only read them if you’re ready too and please don’t let Novaleigh know about them until she’s a little older. And always remember that I love you both, until the end of eternity.

Urban didn’t think that he had anymore tears left but yet here he is, vision blurry and whisper quiet sobs escaping through his lips. He placed the first letter next to him upside down to keep the order before grabbing letter number two. Trying to keep his composure, he begins to read once again.

June 1st 2014,

May 2nd 1998. That was the first day we supposedly met for the first time. I don’t remember it all and I’m pretty sure you don’t either since you were brand new but my mom always said that we were attached at the hip from that day forward. I am so glad that our moms were best friends and had us just shy of a year apart because I have a permanent best friend and I couldn’t have asked for a better one. Well, we’re not just best friends anymore are we? You asked me out on a date exactly 2 days, 6 hours and 23 minutes ago to be exact. Not that I was counting and I’m so excited, I’m actually getting ready right now while I write this letter. I’ve had a crush on you for a long time and it’s finally happening. I hope it’s not a dare though, that would make me sad. Anyways Urby, I have to finish getting ready, you should be here any minute now.

Sincerely y/n

He placed the letter upside down on top of the first one. He can’t wait to read the rest of these letter but before he continues, He smiles gently before whispering ‘you’re with our moms again, ma. I really hope you’re having fun up there.’ He grabs the next letter, ready to dive in down memory lane.

I hope y’all enjoyed it! I know it’s quite sad (and looong) but I have quite a few more parts to it-the letters get better, I promise. I hope to have part two of this series up hopefully tomorrow! Muah!

[strangerquinns]

Dylan’s 30th bday is tomorrow! Maybe a quick bday imagine for him on how you’d spend his special day w him?

happy birthday dylan ~ dylan x reader ~ warning: none

(can we just talk about his hands and forearms for a SECOND please)

You smiled as you looked around the table towards the people that have become your family. It was Dylan's thirtieth birthday and you were sitting on the outside terrace of his sister's apartment. Dylan at besides you at the head of the table his laugh carrying through the warm New York air. Watching as his face spread wide with a smile as he talked with people.

You took another drink from your wine glass, a small buzz coursing through your veins, and looking back to watch Dylan. Every once and a while Dylan would look towards you, his cheeks red before his attention was pulled away. But there was something in his eyes that made you feel nothing but love.

You stood up and moved back into the apartment and grabbed the wine bottle and filled your glass, along with some of the appetizers that were still on the table. You could hear the sliding door open and looked up to see Dylan walk in, the laughter and conversations from outside cut off the moment he closed the door.

There was a slight sway and stumble in his steps as he came towards you. A soft giggle slowly made its way from between your lips as you watched him. Dylan looked towards you and soon joined in the small laughter. When he finally came to you, he fell slightly, but you were able to watch him, wrapping your arm around his middle.

"Woah, birthday boy." You laughed and looked up towards him. "Calm down there. Don't need you falling over on me,"

Dylan moaned softly and nuzzled into your neck, leaning into you slightly to support himself.

"Thank you so much baby," He spoke with his words slurred slightly. "Tonight was amazing."

He pulled back and looked down towards you. "I love you."

"I love you," You spoke with a smile, setting your wine glass down. "You have a good birthday?"

Dylan nodded his head "The best. Can't believe you got my whole family here."

Dylan placed his hands on your waist before bending down and kissing you deeply, the two of you tucked away into the corner. His hands caged on either side of you on the counter as his lips moved against yours. The kiss was a little sloppy since the two of you were a little tipsy, but it only made you want it more.

But the sound of the sliding door opening only caused you two to pull away quickly. Both your eyes looked towards the door to see Dylan's mom Lisa standing there with a coy look on her face.

"Behave you two," She winked before walking towards the hallway where the bathroom was.

The two of you stood there for a second in the silence before bursting out in laughs. Dylan stepped away from you and leaned against the other side of the kitchen.

"That's ok, we'll continue this later tonight," He winked, before leaving back towards the terrace. He opened the door and soon a loud chorus of "Birthday Man!" came through. His smile only brightened more.

You followed soon after with your glass of wine again, but when you walked to go and sit beside him, Dylan instead pulls you into his lap. You let out a small squeal before settling into his lap. His arm wrapped around you securely and continued on the conversation he was having like nothing happened.

[parchmentedpetrichor]

➳april’s fool ♡

in which fred weasley is in love with y/n l/n, the girl he happens to tease and insult profusely for her attention. 

fred weasley x gryffindor!fem!reader 

word count: ±4.3k 

tw: food, fireworks, pranking, fred being a bully, tad bits of swearing

drop a follow if you wanna see more of this content!!

my masterlist:D

ft. minnie, dumbledore and severus

yeah, your grandmama probably know me 

get more bottles, these bottles are lonely

it's a moment when I show up, got 'em sayin', "wow"

april’s fool 

“tomorrow is april fools,” dumbledore sighs. 

“you know what that means...?” mcgonagall asks, her voice on edge.

“the twins,” snape replies quickly, not even bothered one bit as he sips his dark coffee.

“and their pranks,” dumbledore dramatically rolls over in his armchair.

“okay and?” 

“they’re a hazard, severus!” mcgonagall replies.

“that doesn’t stop them.”

“what will stop them?” dumbledore ponders, eyes faint with interest. 

“you still have those weird buzzy fireworks right?” snape asks. 

“of course.”

“and minnie, you have the cake mix your grandmother gave you?”

“still in my cupboard next to the biscuits.”

“excellent.”

y/n l/n listens from the other side of the door, grinning. she’s been called to mcgonagall’s lavish office for some business she hopes isn’t trouble, but the conversation the three are deeply invested in piques her interest. 

she likes fun. the type of continuous laughter and uncontrollable fits of giggles at noon. that’s why she enjoys the pranks the twins play. they’re bold, sharp and reckless and have the undoubtable trademark of fred and george on them.

one too a many times she’s been on the receiving end of them. one time the twins had charmed the library so that she and other studious students could not find any books that they wanted or needed for a whole week. 

another time, her hair had been dyed bright pink. she wasn’t a fan of it, but tried her best to rock it. it worked. y/n had received many compliments on her bubblegum pink locks. 

she laughed it off a lot. whenever something quite embarrassing happened, it was usually funny. 

even the snide remarks the older twin always cast her way.

including the time he called her a blackhead. well, multiple times. 

“oi, l/n, looking like a blackhead.”

george had rolled his eyes at his brother before adding kindly, “at least you have nice hair. your tie’s always shiny too.”

she had just laughed, “at least i’ve got the blackhead looks to pull pink hair off, weasley, you can’t even pull off ginger hair, and thanks, georgie. love ya.”

fred had looked taken aback, but y/n still scowls at the memory. she gets she isn’t pretty, but there is a line you don’t cross when trying to insult someone.

he always calls her the most awful nicknames too; body parts that align with her name and random pieces of rubbish she isn’t bothered to remember.

she shakes herself of her thoughts and draws herself up, knocking thrice on the door lightly.

“come in,” mcgonagall’s calm tone beckons.

“good afternoon professors!” she chirps, smiling at all three.

they smile back. even snape. they’re big fans of the girl, who’s studious but mischievous. albus dumbledore has always thought that y/n’s eyes always look like all she’s seen is a beautiful sunset. 

“now you must wonder why i called you here,” mcgonagall starts.

“you see, how have you punished the weasley twins when they play all those pranks on you?” dumbledore eagerly asks. 

y/n gives a light laugh, “i just prank them back. i won’t get detention for this, right?” she jokes.

they laugh, “of course you will,” snape jokes back and for a second y/n is surprised that severus snape, the ever so cold potions professor, is cracking jokes. especially to her. 

“well then, i guess i can’t tell you how i prank them back then,” she drawls dramatically.

“no, no, do tell, we’re, what do you young people say?” mcgonagall pauses, “ahh yes! we’re all ears!”

y/n bursts out laughing, “okay, i usually do something that’s subtle enough but still very noticeable. they need to be anonymous too, or that’ll start prank wars and i’m only looking for short term pleasure really. one time, i dumped a whole bunch of polyjuice potion in both their little goblets. fred became george and george became fred. they were so confused.”

mcgonagall is impressed. 

“can you bake?” dumbledore asks and y/n shakes her head for a long time. 

“can’t bake for my sanity.”

“awesome. that is what i thought too,” dumbledore answers and y/n smiles. 

a single knock sounds. it’s proper and formal. 

“come in!” mcgonagall yells.

draco malfoy in all his glory steps into the room, eyes alight with concern, ever so indifferent. 

y/n knows him from quidditch. they’ve become relatively good friends, though she thinks he is very busy with his home life. she also knows that there’s more to him than the facade he has.

“afternoon,” he nods and gives a charming smile. 

“now, draco, i understand your mother had enrolled you in baking classes,” snape says. 

draco nods. 

“you must bake a cake,” mcgonagall hands him the cake mix.

she hands y/n the box of fireworks and winks. 

“good day professors! make sure to be at breakfast tomorrow!” y/n shouts, dragging draco with her to the kitchens. 

soon draco is laughing with y/n, at her atrocious puns and lightly placed jokes, finding himself very much happy. he’s not interested in her romantically, he simply enjoys her company. he’s even sharing some funny stories of his own too.

“...and i told him, to precisely fuck off.”

“so that’s how you deal with him!”

“oh no, he didn’t stop. he kept bugging me.”

“what did you do then?”

“i cast a muffliato charm on him.”

y/n bursts into laughter as they pass the gryffindor common room, quickly hiding the box of fireworks in her cloak as she spots two red heads quietly snickering by the fat lady. 

they notice the unlikely pair scurrying down the stairs. 

“hey, google eyes!” fred shouts. 

y/n doesn’t know fred well enough to decide if that greeting is dedicated to herself, so she continues upon her way. 

“weasley,” draco states. 

“huh?” y/n fakes oblivion. 

draco jerks his head in the way of the twins, where fred is smirking handsomely, leaning against the wall in a model-like fashion. 

george is shaking his head in dismay. 

“i said googly eyes!” fred shouts again.

y/n won’t lie, she thinks fred has undoubtedly good looks and his ginger hair is cute. he’s just a terrible person. to her, at least. she knows she’s biased, she’s often seen fred comforting ginny after a bad fight with a boyfriend, and from what she’s heard from alicia and angelina and katie, he’s funny too. 

she whips out her glasses and stares deadpan at him, before rolling her eyes and running with draco down the stairs, laughing like madmen.

they finish baking late at night, and waving her wand smartly over the cake, y/n produces a charm that will make the fireworks activate as soon as the cake is cut open. 

draco smiles as he pipes purple and orange roses, writing a ‘happy bday fred and george’ in chocolate letters. 

they add lots of sprinkles, hoping to seem like avid admirers of the twins. 

“does miss l/n and misters malfoy need any assistance?” a house elf asks.

draco just about opens his mouth to snap a ‘no’ when y/n gives him a silencing look.

“thank you rosemarie, but that is not needed, you are welcome to watch and talk with us though,” y/n politely answers, giving her a grin. 

the house elf sniffles, “miss l/n is too nice! rosemarie will make some hot chocolate for her! pretty hair!”

y/n laughs, “thank you very much, rosemarie. i think mister malfoy would also like some hot chocolate, with a tiny bit of firewhiskey, if that’s alright with you,” she winks at draco who just scoffs in reply. 

when they’re finished with the cake and the hot chocolate, y/n enters the gryffindor common room. angelina takes the cake and wraps it up in a box and nice wrapping paper. she sends it flying to the twins’ usual spot on the gryffindor table. 

“thanks angie!” y/n smiles, getting up from the cozy spot near the fire in the common room. 

“why are you going? we’re staying up till midnight for the twins’ birthday; wanna join?” angelina asks. 

y/n shakes her head, “i’m not too close with them, it seems like a rather intimate ceremony,” she keeps her words fluffy and light. really, she would join any birthday celebration, but she didn’t think she could handle the constant insults and annoying comments fred always made about her. and this would have been completely acceptable if she had done something to any one of the weasleys, but she hadn’t. she even regards ginny weasley as a little sister and was invited to one of ginny’s infamous slumber parties. okay, she might have a little crush on him for his joke-ish nature, but it’s nothing she can’t get over. he’s out of her league, for sure, she thinks. and terribly rude. she doesn’t understand why she still harbours those feelings for him. maybe because that time adrian pucey was mocking her for her ‘blood purity’ he stood up for her. or that time she hurt herself at quidditch and fred stayed up with her bandaging her wound. he cared when it mattered, she guesses. 

“i’m sure they would love you there.”

“fat chance,” she scoffs, “have a good night!”

she goes to her own dormitory up the stairs. she’s well known in gryffindor house, but for different reasons than the twins may be. although she’s close with angie and alicia, she’s not close with the twins. mainly because she’s always studying, playing quidditch, and doing prefect things. 

being on a quidditch team with fred weasley is bearable. mainly because she’s the captain. 

she’s stopped by a large hand on her shoulder. the owner of the hand swivels and suddenly a grinning fred is revealed. 

“where’re you going?” fred weasley’s annoying voice pronounces. 

“the sahara desert,” she snaps back dryly, “you’re in the way of my world exploration.”

“am i, really?”

“‘course,” she reigns her attitude in, “nice night, isn’t it?”

“for you? never.”

she scowls. fred watches in utter amusement as she takes a deep breath and charmingly smiles. 

“dearest freddie, will you please allow me to get to my dorm so i can have some sleep?”

fred’s heart skips a little at the nickname but shakes his head. 

“what’s the password?”

y/n sighs. “i don’t know. y/n is a blackhead. googly eyes. whatevers.”

fred lets out a loud laugh. y/n finds herself trying hard not to laugh with him. 

she turns around, ready to find her hufflepuff friend that has a spare bed in their dormitory, knowing fred is really stubborn.

“that’s not the password.”

“well, good night.” she walks off, before intensely diving in a style harry potter himself would be proud of, onto the stairs and running up the dorms laughing. 

fred stands at the bottom of the stairs, dumbfounded, his jaw hanging open. 

“close your mouth, flies will be caught,” he heard the giggling voice of y/n.

“close yours and you’ll look better,” he insults back. 

“oh shut up. we know i’m the prettier one. and that’s saying something.”

the next morning, fred and george wake up to presents, a rowdy common room, and a nice cake sitting waiting for them on the gryffindor table. 

for the first time, y/n takes a seat opposite them, her eyes alight with the familiar mischief they always held. she steals glances at the professors, who were beaming down with interest, as if they shared an inside joke. draco malfoy has an odd smirk on his pale face. 

all eyes are on them as they cut open the cake. with a bang, fireworks come flying out of the cake in all directions, sending crumbs and icing flying in the air and leaving soot on the twin’s faces. their ginger hair is covered neatly with white icing and the fireworks continue for a calamitous five minutes. everyone’s too busy laughing and trying to dodge the flying cake to see that y/n l/n and draco malfoy are laughing quietly in a corner together, both with spells like umbrellas. 

fred’s eyes, however, are trained on y/n, who’s rolling over in laughter. he quickly casts a scourgify on himself and george, and strides casually over to her and malfoy, the usual lazy smirk on his face as he hears ‘draco ohmygosh that was the best. your cake decos are on point! d’ya think he’ll ever bully me again?’. that confirms his suspicions. she did play this prank on him. and it makes him feel fuzzy inside.

his face then contorts into a frown. she thinks he bullies her? 

“i wouldn’t say he bullies you, y/n.”

he smiles. never mind.

“but it isss! i can assure you, there is absolutely nothing nice ‘bout being called a frame!”

fred snorts at the time y/n had been gushing adorably over a picture frame that was embellished with gold and bronze flowers to angelina. he had went over and in an attempt to catch her attention, said ‘you’re a frame’.

sure, he was good at flirting, but not to the girls he really really liked. 

“that’s fucking funny,” malfoy laughs. 

“oh shut it draco, your face is funny. but yeah, i should probably ask him to start fresh.”

he decides to interrupt their conversation. 

“ask who to start fresh?” he butts in. 

y/n doesn’t even look surprised, “in fact, you, fred, because i’m not really sure if i’ve done anything wrong to you or anything, and by my memory i don’t think i have and you keep being rude and stuff. if i have, i’m really sorry for it and i’m sorry that i hurt you and all. if we can y’know, start over, and maybe be friends?” she catches the unreadable look in fred’s eyes and hesitates, “or maybe not, that’s okay, we don’t need to!” she gives a small laugh, “er, sorry for ever bringing it up?”

the earnestness of her tone and the wistful look in her eyes makes fred fall a little harder. ever since he saw her nervously fiddling with her robes in first year, he’s been smitten. 

there’s a silence. malfoy has slipped off, the sneaky bastard. 

fred simply takes y/n’s hand, giving her a look as if to ask for permission. 

she swallows and nods. 

they’re in the courtyard, which is sunny and light. flowers are blooming everywhere. 

“can i kiss you?” fred asks.

y/n’s eyebrows go up. “what?”

“can i kiss you?” fred repeats patiently. 

“as in kiss? k-i-s-s?” y/n asks, eyes wide with suspicion and curiosity.

“yep,” he chuckles, “crazy, aren’t i?”

“yeah, you’re crazy.”

“really? can i kiss you?”

“i’ve never really kissed anyone.”

“i guessed that.”

her eyebrows furrowed in hurt, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i’ll tell you if you let me kiss you.”

“there better be a good reason because i was saving it for someone special.”

“i need a yes, love.”

she huffs, “yes.” she won’t tell him that she has a crush on him, because to be honest, she still isn’t sure if this is a prank or not.

she surprised when fred tilts her head up ever so gently, a smile on his face.

this kiss is short and sweet. he tastes like cinnamon.

when they’ve let go, fred notices the light pink dusted over her cheeks. he smirks. 

“you have to tell me why you thought i’ve never kissed anyone,” she said, eyes flashing in deep thought.

“such a beautiful person as you does not deserve kisses from anyone.”

“...” 

fred took this as a sign to go on. “the reason i’ve always teased you endlessly is because i want your attention. i didn’t think you’d give it to me any other way. if you haven’t noticed, i’m in love with you. i think you’re absolutely beautiful, both ways. i love it when you frown and get annoyed, even if you rarely do, i love it when you study so hard your face makes this really concentrated look. i love it especially when you laugh and smile and joke and play pranks. even if they’re on me.”

“...” she was studying his movements. inside her brain, a frenzy was going on. part of her brain- the ever so optimistic part, was screaming happily, and the logical part was using body language to analyse whether he was lying or not.

eyes? their honey brown colour was glistening with affection and truth, an expression so dainty on his face. 

a quaint little smile was on his lips, a small one, a genuine one. it was different to all the other smiles she’d seen him smile. 

he wasn’t acting, she decided. if he was, he should take up a job in broadway. 

“y/n?”

her brows were furrowed. she’d never been confessed to as genuinely as this before. 

if they started this type of relationship would he still be mean and insult her all the time?

“i-i need time. to figure this out.”

he doesn’t look disappointed, she thinks. instead he looks down at her with... adoration?

“of course, sweetness, anything, i’ll wait for you.”

she smiles, “thank you, freddie.” 

☆

it’s been a few days since fred’s confessed to her. she’s still unsure if he was joking or not. why?

at this moment, she’s watching him giggle with angelina johnson. it seems like he’s forgotten everything and anything. he’s gotten closer to her. maybe he’s lost feelings for y/n? she can’t blame angie, she’s a wonderful girl. if he likes her, that’s fine too. suddenly her feelings for him become very clear. she like-likes him. and it’s a bit too late.

but maybe he doesn’t like angie in that way? maybe he’s still into her? 

y/n knows molly weasley raises her children with patience. she should trust that fred’s waiting for her. 

but then again, she’s never gonna be as special as angie johnson. she’s just a ever so polite and outgoing nerd. someone who’s foolish enough to prank. angie’s smart, confident and funny and terribly patient. and effortlessly beautiful. she’s got the true gryffindor touch. and angie’s been one of fred’s best friends since day one. she’s always gonna be number 1. 

that’s ok. she’ll accept it. she likes angie anyway. it was probably a joke anyway. 

she couldn’t be jealous, just a bit dismayed that it wasn’t genuine. whatever, she thinks. we can just go back to how we were before. or not. 

and it’s relatively easy. they never really saw much of each other anyway. she’ll get over this tiny little liking. 

it’ll just be like normal. none of this happened. none of it. she grimaces bitterly, damning fred for his stupid games. should’ve known this was another of his pranks. but his acting though, certainly very good. 

she smiles to herself.

“knock it off, y/n, you’re here to learn, not to love.”

and that answer, is satisfactory. 

she gets up from her spot on the gryffindor table rather abruptly, saying goodbye to her friends, and makes her way to the kitchens. she knows she won’t be alone, she’ll talk to hansel and gretel, the twins that cook with the house elves every dinner.

they’re cleaning up as she walks in, book in hand. 

“hi hans, g!” she calls, as she rolls up the sleeves of her sweater to help them with the dishes. 

“y/n!” gretel gives her a hug with soapy arms and y/n giggles.

“how are both of you?” y/n asks. 

“good, good, potions though...” hansel trails off and they all laugh.

“potions is always like that,” y/n agrees, “it’s supposed to be really hard for newts, so you can’t really blame the subject.”

“i’m thinking of dropping divination,” gretel says.

“yeah, that’s wise, gretel buns,” hansel teases and gretel scowls. 

“divination is an easy subject, gretel, you just need to make random stuff up. i saw this weird bear thing in polly’s tea leaves, it wasn’t in the textbook. i told trelawney it was a symbol that a stranger would come and whip polly off her feet, with a whip the colour of the rarest german emeralds, leaving her absolutely smitten. i got full marks,” y/n laughs. 

they laugh too, and soon a light flowing conversation is shared over cups of hot chocolate. 

this is repeated for quite a few days and y/n even invites polly, marla and lenox, her best friends, to join. it’s a delicate, nice kind of week, one that suits her current struggles. 

when the weekends roll around, hansel and gretel suggest that they all sit at the hufflepuff table. they share jokes and quips over the food, y/n reading a book as she bites happily into apple pie.

“pfft,” her lips upturn ever so slightly at the quote that the character makes. 

fred watches her from the gryffindor table, utterly confused. y/n’s been avoiding him. he sees the flashes of hurt that run through her eyes whenever she sees him, and the quick grin that’s far too fake that follows. she’s been reading a lot more and he never sees her anymore. 

he wonders what he’s doing wrong. so as he sees her walking with her friends to hogsmeade, he calls for her. 

“y/n!”

her friends giggle as they see him, but she gives him a fleeting glance and raises her eyebrows at them, shaking her head, before profusely apologising to each one of them.

she approaches him warily, with all practicality in mind. she leads with her heart, but her head protects her. 

fool me once, shame on you.

fool me twice, shame on me.

“you’ve been avoiding me,” he states.

“what would you expect?” she snaps, “isn’t this all a good laugh for you anyway?”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“you know what i mean, this was all a joke, wasn’t it? fooling my poor little heart which you know has a crush on you. my head simply won’t allow it. admit it, and we can both move on with our lives,” her tone is sharp and cold, her eyes burning with fury and hurt, “i may seem gullible, and i am,” she gave a short laugh, “but when i notice, don’t even try to lie.”

“this wasn’t a joke, love.”

“don’t call me that, and you and i both know it is. your acting though, absolutely superb!” 

“what makes you think this was a prank, y/n? you were the one who asked for time.”

“yes, and the time made me realise that i had feelings for you despite all the teasing AND the fact you couldn’t possibly be genuine!” y/n says exasperatedly, her fury dissolving quickly, “you looked so in place with angie and everyone that it’s so obviously some sort of fun thing you did to try to get back at me!”

“angie?”

“a-and everyone else.”

“angie?” fred’s eyes were amused.

“you know, angelina, as in johnson.”

“angie?”

y/n shrugs, “you did bring her to the yule ball last year.”

“angie??!!!” fred was full on smirking now, as if trying to receive a real response. 

“i think you like her, okay?! are we done here? i’d very much like a good book from f&b,” y/n sighs. 

“i’ll accompany you to flourish and botts. why would you think i like her? didn’t i just confess to you?”

“yeah but it seemed kinda...” y/n trails off, not wanting her insecurities to come off as compliment fishing, “kinda far-fetched.”

“meaning?” fred knows exactly what she means.

“you know!” 

“oh but i don’t,” he smiles innocently.

“well, you’re you!” 

“is that supposed to be an insult?” he asks, faking a look of hurt rather well as y/n looks alarmed. 

“no, no, as in, you’re nice to look at, and you’ve always insulted me and been so nice and cool to everyone. are you for real?”

“nice to look at?” a cocky grin is on his face now, much more noticeable than the slight blush that was creeping up his face.

“is that the only thing you could pick up?” 

“nice to look at? what’s up with me repeating myself today?”

y/n lets out an agitated sigh. he doesn’t know, he’s blunt and straightforward. she likes cushioning her words.

“y’know, handsome? good looking?”

“my middle names.” another smirk to conceal the blushing. 

y/n smiles. “of course, everyone knows it.”

it makes fred uncomfortable. her light tone is a bit menacing too. 

“only joking.”

“i’m sure everyone does know it, darling.”

y/n is too busy looking at the dog that passes by to hear him, rambling quietly to herself over the cute scottish terrier.

“sorry, what was that?”

“aren’t i cuter than the dog?”

“nup.”

“really?” fred casually slings an arm over y/n’s shoulders, having to stoop a little lower to reach her.

“i think so.”

“well i’ll tell you something love, i think you’re absolutely stunning.”

“some love potion you’re on.”

“uh huh, the love potion is called love, sweetness.”

“so you’re for real?”

“as real as you and me.”

“you’re cheesy. this isn’t a prank right?”

“not at all, i love you.”

“i-i don’t think i love you just yet, but i think it’s possible,” y/n bites her lip, anxiously awaiting his response.

she tilts her head to look at him. 

he’s beaming. he looks more handsome than ever, a sweet smile etched on his face as he looks down at her in utter adoration.

“you have a crush on me!” he pulls her into a hug and giggles like a little girl, kissing the top of her head.

she’s engulfed by the smell of burning wood and cinnamon and immediately feels safe in his strong arms. 

“how’d you say we go on a date? so i can show how sorry i am for all the times i called you googly eyes and played pranks on you.”

“i’ll check to see if the girls are okay with it,” y/n replies, turning her head to see her friends. they’re gone. 

“they are. i asked them to shoo off before i approached you. is that a yes?”

y/n nods, “of course, freddie.”

“i love you.”

she laughs, “you really are april’s fool.”

“i’m your april’s fool.” 

he buries his nose in the crook of her neck to stop her from seeing his blushing red face. 

[stinkywinke]

Twelve Minutes

I am obsessed with twelve minutes sooo, why not make an imagine about it 🧍‍♀️

Also this is the first time I have ever used tumblr, and my grammar is very poor. I will try and get used to the way tumblr works and hopefully if I have any motivation I will start writing more :) My writing skills are bad so this is going to be choppy

Another note : The roles are reversed, so instead of the reader being the husband, its going the be the wife figuring everything.

clench ya butt cheeks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Readers POV:

No..no, no, no, this can’t be it

As I took a step into my apartment I heard my husband in the bathroom humming a soft tune. 10 minutes. The pills. The cop. The pocket watch.

“Hey, I didn’t hear you come in”

I looked up to see h/n (Husbands name) walking towards me with a smile and pulling me in to a passionate kiss.

“I made desert, let me know if your in the mood” He stated while making his way on to the couch.

I give a quick nod signaling that I would tell him when I was ready. Quickly glancing around my home I made my way to the sink and filled up a mug of water, the floorboards creaking in a specific spot as I ambled to the bathroom. I opened the medicine cabinet grabbing ahold of the sleeping pills and pouring them into the mug, and going back into the living room to see h/n reading a book.

"I think its a good time for desert” I suggested

“Ok, babe” h/n replied with a sweet smile

He noticed the cup in my hand and turned around to the fridge and got the desert out. I placed the drugged mug by where h/n was sitting and got my own mug instead.

“So how was work?”

“It was alright, met a couple of new people, Its going great” I said as I saw h/n drinking his water

“How about you? How was your day?”

“Same old day I guess it just repeats itself” he said as his eyes started drooping down into a sleepy matter

Tch.. talk about repeating

“Im feeling so tired all of a sudden, Im gonna go lay down”

“Okay baby, goodnight”

As soon as I saw h/n close the bedroom door I scampered to the closet and closed the door behind me aware that the cop will be here in a few minutes

Now we wait…

“Police!, open up I have a warrant”

My breathe hitched as I heard him turn the doorknob and stepped into the house

“Hello?, anyone home?”

“Police” the cop shouted when he opened the door

“Police, I have a warrant”

He made his final call making his way into the bedroom,hearing the light switch turn on a scream came from the man as he layed unconscious on the floor. After hearing nothing but silence I crept out the door into the room, searching for the valuables from the cops uniform

The gun, 2 handcuffs, the knife, and the phone

As I did last time,Rolling him over, gripping both of his wrists and tieing them together, I remembered there was a little box with my mothers name on it.

A/N : I did change the baby clothes to a necklace, kind of like a bday gift

My hand trembled to the gift lying on the table next to the flowers, I held it and stuffed the box into my front pocket. I took my time staring at the man in awe and confusion

He’s already told me why he’s here, he told me he was a good friend of my husband’s father. He’s hiding something.

“Augh- what- you little shit”

The cop was stirring awake from the electrocution but only figuring it all together that he was handcuffed. He glared at my shoes as some kind of threat and saying words, pleading to be let go, I reached into my pocket pulling out the box and showing the man the name on the necklace

“Do you recognise this name?”

“Dahlia? Yeah I knew her so what?”

“Do you know anything about her?”

“Yeah, she was the mother of your husbands sister”

Mother of my husband’s sister? But that was my mothers name

“Just let me go you prick”

“I promise im innocent I dont have anything to do with this”

“Okay maybe if you let me go, I wont kill you” the cop stated in a cold and tone

I took the knife out of my pocket and handed him his things, he asked…

“Im here for a pocket watch very valuable… do you have it?”

“Yeah, I’ll go get it now”

Thoughts were running in my head as I went to go to the bathroom to get the strange watch

Mother of my husbands sister? Dahlia, thats my mothers name… no it can’t be.

I grasped the pocket watch in my hand, watching is slowly turn clock-wise

“Have you found it yet? I dont have all day!”

My hand gave out to him, as he took the pocket watch

“Im gonna need a few minutes with your husband, go sit on the couch, but if you do anything stupid, I’ll kill you..” he demanded

He’s gonna kill him, I know, so lets just let it happen.

BANG!

A bead of sweat drip down my forehead as I smelled the scent of blood coming from the other room

Mothers name of husbands sister, husband said he got a necklace with my mothers name on it, Dahlia. So if dahlia is my mother h/n is my… brother. My own brother is my husband. Fuck no please, I have to get out

Sprinted across the room to the door and made my way out just to end up in the same place as always.

“No.. fuck no no no no- this can’t be happening please”

My husband came out of the bathroom again with a panic and worry on his face and started to bombard me with questions.

“Y/n?”

“Baby are you ok?”

“What happened honey?”

“Whats wrong?”

I’ve had enough

“S-STOP IT, GO AWAY”

“Baby whats wrong” he pleaded with concern

“NO! Please I have to go” I shouted at him as I bolted through the door coming back to the same gentle humming tune coming from the bathroom.

“Hey, I didnt hear you come in”

Again met with the same eyes with my lover ugh- brother, I cant tell him, I cant.

“Hey babe” I said as he kissed me once again,

this is wrong

“I made dessert, let me know if your in the mood”

The same sentence every ten minutes.

Snatching the pocket watch from the ventilation grid, the grunting and groaning leaving my mouth as I tried to get up from the pain in my back,

The watch was broken. Turning the long handle I fixed it back to its place, 2 minutes before 12. I saw the world turn into a dark abyss, the watch turning anti clock- wise, my hand slowly fading into the tiles of the bathroom, my eyes growing heavy and started to close putting me into a deep sleep

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey there he is… your back”

Huh?

“Look, I know this is a… terrible shock. But we need to be on the same page. Look, I… These feelings for my son… your brother. This isn’t how I wanted to tell you…you deserve… both of you deserve better.”

He said with a long pause

“Yknow the thing I hate the most, worst thing in the world?… Disappointing my lil boy. Well that was the worst thing…. And now a baby… you with your little… love… I guess it was always gonna happen”

He said as he walked around in disbelief and ignorance

“Nothing stays swallowed down forever. So, you gonna make a call”

“If i could go back..” I started

“Well. Things would be different. But you can’t just try again. Thats not how life works! So, you gotta make the choice, and make it now”

…

“Say something”

H/n’s book about zen..

“Fine!, your gonna force it by hand? Fine!”

“Hey “its only by forgetting that.. we ever really drop the thread of time, and approach the experience of living in the present moment””

“Ah, you’ve read that one, eh?”

“I know the idea of forgetting things sounds crazy but, what if… you could?

I can help with that if you want. All you have is the future, you’ll forget everything you went through. All the pain. All the stress. Forgotten forever. But, you need to understand there is no turning back. You can’t undo this… we can still talk about him but you need to choose an answer…”

I stared at the clock as I watch it about to turn twelve

“you don’t have to forget if you don’t want to, The choice is yours”

12:00

DING!

“ you do have a remarkable imagination… The stories you’ve created… but believing them so strongly, so deeply is unhealthy… you have to let him go… you can’t keep obsessing over him… sometimes things are just as what they are…

Its time for you to wake up…

[ialwaysgobacktoit]

Time to rest your weary head: The End!

FIRST AND FOREMOST; I KNOW it took me a DAMN LONG TIME to update this, but lemme explain: This was my first fanfiction ever written in english, my first Gwynriel long-fic and the first fanfic I ever published and I didn't want to finish it (although I knew it must come to an end)

I am so grateful for all the love, likes, kudos on AO3, comments and reblogs I've been getting since I first started posting it. You have NO IDEA how much it meant to me; I've always found myself a little insecure to post my own fiction work, but this one have payed off and it's all thanks to you guys!!!!

To @katiebellf the one who lovingly suggested WRITE A FANFICTION OUT OF THIS bday headcanon and i sure as hell did!!! To @madie2200 and @starbornsinger for being so supportive and always making sure I'd get feedback, and to @thecrispypotatochip for your constant reblogs with your opinions + to every kind soul out here in this crazy virtual space that made sure to make me feel loved! (i see you all, and i love you)

ANYWAY, that's it guys! <3 This chapter of my life is finally over (ik i'm being HELLA DRAMATIC but put up with me!!!!! i love gwynriel!!!!) and I can't wait for you to see what's to come :) (btw i know i'm technically LATE since here in my brazilian timezone it's 1AM but think on the bright side... I hope y'all have a great dinner/breakfast/lunch surprise :)

Chapter List here and my personal Gwynriel hymn that inspired the title of this fic RIGHT HERE

PART 15: FINAL.

Azriel knew what he had to do.

As he beheld the circle of people in front of him all gathered around the dining table, his family, he felt a sense of calmness and quietude he hadn’t for a long, long time. His eyes quickly landed on Gwyn, who was motioning for him to sit by her side.

It was dinner night at the River House, and he had it all planned out. His shadows bounced around his shoulders as he took the seat next to his mate. As she engaged in a conversation with Emerie and Feyre, Nesta and Cassian leaned on each other, Rhys played with Nyx while Mor and Amren discussed about something he couldn’t bring himself to care about, he felt at ease. Peaceful.

Gwyn held his hand under the table, and he let his shadows hung around her freely. It was almost as they belonged to her, and not him. They had started doing it a lot more often, so the Inner Circle was supposed to be more used to it by now. Still, Azriel ignored Amren’s inquisitive eyebrow and turned his gaze to his mate; those teal eyes were eyeing him, and she squeezed his hand, giving him an almost imperceptible nod; a go-ahead sign.

Just like they had previously talked.

“There’s something you should know” Azriel started, immediately earning the attention of almost everyone at the table, since it wasn’t every day he opened up like that. Only Gwyn kept staring at her lap, a faint blush on her cheeks.

“Is everything ok?” Nesta was the one who asked.

“We’re mates.” She blurted out, startling him – and everyone around, for that matter. He looked at her, amused, and then at the confusion that reigned across the table. In a second, a squealing Nesta and Emerie lunched forward and embraced his mate in a tight and equally loud hug, while Cassian spitted his drink, Mor clapped and Amren muttered a “tell me something new”, quietly smiling and raising her glass at Azriel anyway.

Only Rhys and Feyre stood in silence at their spots at the table, knowing smiles mirrored on their faces quickly noticed by Nesta, still with her arms around Gwyn.

“Why are you two so quiet?” Her eyes missed nothing, raising her chin at her sister and her mate. Rhys merely took a sip from his drink.

“They already knew.” Azriel found himself saying, and Nesta’s stare darted to him, and then to Gwyn, who was still flushed from all the fuss.

“And you knew they knew?” She furrowed her brows; he couldn’t identify if her tone was menacing or curious, but Gwyn wasn’t the one to feel intimidated by it, given the way she chuckled in response.

“It was all me.” Rhys raised his hands. “It was an accident; I didn’t mean to pry.”

“I need to train more on my mental shields, apparently.” It was all the priestess admitted, but kindly smiled at Rhysand and Feyre from across the table. “The High Lo- Rhysand, I mean- kept it safe for me. He found out earlier than Azriel did.”

“You were the one to realize first?” Nesta sat again at her spot besides Cassian, and turned to her friend surprised. Gwyn smiled smugly.

“By a short amount of time” Azriel couldn’t help but grunt out, unconsciously falling into their usual banter.

Her warm eyes landed on him, and she winked, still with that Cauldron-damned smile on, causing shivers all over him.

“Still” She shrugged irreverently and smirked playfully. “I knew it before you. Quite the Spymaster, huh?”

If everyone else at the table stilled slightly at her words, all but Cassian, who bellowed in laughter, Azriel couldn’t notice. Not when his mate’s stare was unfaltering, with that challenging look in her eyes she knew he loved. He immediately found himself joining his brother, again not caring if it was the first in a damn long time his family even heard him laugh like that.

Some time passed between casual conversation and sips of wine. In that time, Azriel was secretly arranging his next words in his mind. Just like Gwyn and he had previously discussed, the news went well; as deep down, he knew it would. His family had understood and cherished them both, and Azriel reveled in the peace it brought him, quietly admiring those people around him.

When his eyes landed at Gwyn, though, deeply immersed in conversation with Rhysand, he took in a deep breath, determined. There was still one more thing he had to do, one more thing she wasn’t yet aware. Something he knew, in his heart, was the right thing to do. Was the best thing he could do.

“Rhys” He called, and Gwyn immediately turned her head to him, eyes shining with pure curiosity. “There’s one more thing.”

He leaned in closer to his brother, resting his arm behind Gwyn’s chair. Rhysand’s expression was equally intrigued, but his voice was calm and collected when he answered: “Shoot, brother.”

“I need a break.”

“Oh?” Rhysand’s eyebrows shot up with surprise.

“Oh?” Gwyn echoed quietly.

Her burning gaze made him tear his eyes from Rhysand and stare back at her; something was glimmering in her teal ocean eyes. He couldn’t discern what it was. The rest of his family was still talking to each other, though the conversation had dimmed a bit.

“I have well trained spies all over the country; I could spend the rest of this week getting them ready to take my place for a little while. I’d be back in two weeks, if you’d let me.” Azriel continued.

Rhysand smiled broadly and promptly retorted: “What about two months?”

Gwyn gasped beside him. Something stirred within Azriel’s chest. Two whole months, with Prythian in the verge of a possible war, didn’t seem wise at all, and he was well aware of the fact.

But Cauldron-damn him, he wanted that. Needed that.

Suddenly, a vision of a shining blue lake under the afternoon sun came into his field of view. In his fingers, loose strands of a long copper hair, like burning fire under the sunlight. The only thing he could hear was the chirps of birds and the soft breathing of the young priestess who rested against his chest. For whatever reason, he could see it.

He felt his brother’s claws against his mental shield, bringing him back from his reverie:

You deserve it, brother. You two deserve this and more.

He had to blink away the tears that he felt coming up, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Then he looked at Gwyn, that smiling, powerful force of nature sitting next to him. He finally understood what that was in her eyes; the same thing Rhysand showed in his.

Pride.

And he knew his answer.

EPILOGUE

A few years later

Azriel woke up to soft humming. He squinted against the morning light, and frowned when he found the other side of the bed empty. His fae senses discerned the familiar voice coming from the bathroom, a voice he always seemed drawn to.

He lazily got up and followed the sweet melody that woke him up and lived in his dreams; leaning against the door frame, he watched as Gwyn slowly brushed her damp hair, the smell of lavender filling up the air:

"Hey, you"

Gwyn turned around, and smiled softly at him. That morning sight still made his heart flutter, even if it's been years now since they shared rooms in the House of Wind.

"Good morning, love" She neared him and placed a quick kiss on his lips. "What are you doing up? Thought you weren't tutoring today."

"I'm not" He hummed, embracing her. "But the bed was getting cold."

His arms felt perfect around her back as she placed her hands behind his neck.

"Ha-ha" She pouted, rolling her eyes at his little drama "My Ilyrian boy is missing me already? It's been less than fifteen minutes"

"What can I do? I love my mate and don't want her to leave me just yet."

She looked thoughtful, a playful smile on her lips: "Well, I suppose I still got time before I hit the library..."

In a second, Azriel was picking her up in his arms and carefully laying her on their bed as she laughed, and he admired just how flushed she got after a hot shower. Gods, he could never get tired of that view. He started peppering her face with kisses, trailing down her neck and smirking against her skin as he heard her sigh and claw her hands on his hair.

"Az..." She murmured after a few seconds.

There's something.

The fact that his shadows had to alert him that made his head shot up and stare into those deep eyes in front of him. She was still smiling, but faintly, and gently stroked his hair as if to soothe him.

He straightened up, leaning on an elbow to face her.

"What?"

"I think we should discuss something."

She seemed nervous, but her tone left nothing to the imagination. Whatever something that was, Gwyneth Berdara was already set on it.

He nodded, brows furrowed.

"You know I love you, and I'm so happy the way things are going. But lately, with you training Ren to one day replace you as Spymaster and me opening up the public library in Velaris, well..."

He swallowed, feeling his heartbeat fasten. But she only smiled further:

"I feel like we should do it now. Accept the bond."

Seconds passed and Azriel didn't know what to say, as he scanned her face for any kind of discomfort or insecurity. There was none. A jest, maybe? Could it be...

"I'm not joking, Shadowsinger. In case you're wondering."

She interrupted his thoughts, and brushed her hands against his hair once more, pulling him closer to her.

"Gwyn, you..." He was speechless, something in his chest glowing brighter and brighter he felt it could burst out of him any minute now.

"I want this, Azriel. And have been wanting it for a long, long time." She breathed in "Do you still..."

"Yes. Yes." He answered in a breathless laugh; the reality of it hitting him. They were doing it. Mates. Forever.

"Mating ceremony and all?" She joined him in laughter now, they both beaming. Azriel felt his cheeks hurt.

"Whatever you say, Gwyn. I'd love whatever you wish. I just want to be with you for the rest of my life." The words came rushing out, but he didn't care. Not when his mate closed the space between them and kissed him intently.

-----------------

Gwyn didn't go to the library that day, after all. They prefer focusing on other more... Urgent matters after their talk.

As they lay in bed together a few hours later, Azriel felt utter peace. He closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of Gwyn's body tightly embraced in him, her hair soft against his chin, her breathing even on his chest.

He suddenly remembered this ancient tune his mother used to sing to him when he was no more than a kid. It was a sweet, tender lullaby about peace and tranquility. The one song he always remembered to sing against the darkness. One that seemed to originate from every cell in his body, intrinsic to who he was.

Lately, that song's been bringing him comfort and solace for one more reason. And he was singing it to her now.

And if Gwyn didn't move, nor shift her position, he knew exactly why. Moments in which he sang were rare, since he much preferred to hear his mate's powerful voice. And that song, that one tune meant so much to him, he knew she could sense it. He could feel her smile against his chest.

His shadows expanded and retracted around them both, cocooning them in darkness and playing around the room; temporarily set free.

He felt himself slowly giving in to a peaceful slumber as he went on:

And you would say

"Time to rest your weary head

Take your wings and go to bed

I know you want to show it all, my darling"

And I'd say

"Set me down and rock me, rock me to sleep"

All he sensed before sleep took over him was one, single kiss against his cheek, and a soft whisper against his ear.

He loved her too.

[deepdonutkid]

A drug called love

Pair: Esmeralda Gold & Bonnie Gold, Bonnie Gold x Reader

Warning: None

Requested: yes, by anon

Request: blurb for Bonnie Gold with the word Radiant

Note: This is also slightly inspired from star by lovely @bonniesgoldengirl​ ... Have I told you how much I loved this story yet? maybe just like a bazillion times! Also this is your bday and here is a little B (Bonnie) for you! You already got some May from Lily!

“Now I’m finally with you in Birmingham”, she began and flopped herself on the bed: “So… Bon… You got to tell me everything about your life here.”

Esmeralda had this thing to be way too comfortable everywhere. This was his room and he was a little afraid, she would start sniffing around in his stuff, because there were certainly some things, he wouldn’t like his older sister to find. Like the little blue bottle of snow, Michael gave him to try it. But he didn’t. Bonnie was reluctant with this magical powder, everybody was talking about. He didn’t need it and he was very happy without it.

However he was hung up on another drug called love. After months of staring at her from the distance, he finally got the courage to speak up to the singer from the Garrison. They have been in a relationship for quite a while now. It was the kind of big news, he should tell his sister.

“I’m living my dream now”, he explained: “It’s fantastic. I haven’t lost a single fight since I got here. Dad and I still have to take care of some things for the Shelby clan, but otherwise my life is pretty good.”

His sister started to braid her long black hair and watched him while he was fumbling for some things in his pockets. “I can see that”, she added with a smile: “You seem different. I have never seen you this happy before. It’s like you radiate pure joy.”

“Really?”, he asked and his hand scratched his neck. There was nervousness in his voice. Boxing wasn’t the only thing that made him this happy. The singer from the pub gave him unholy amounts of pleasure, whenever he was with her or even when he thought about her. Her kisses and her touch made him feel like nobody else did. They could talk about everything and anything and he felt safe with her.

While Esmeralda tied a band around the tip of her braid, she nodded. “Yes, like you are a completely different person! What happened?  I mean you had boxing fights before and I still can’t understand, what’s so good about the city anyway… Here is no fresh air. I feel like I can’t breathe.”

Bonnie wasn’t so gleeful, when he arrived at first in the city. He was still shy and didn’t made friends fast. It took a while until he got warm with the other Blinders his age. Now he was glad to call Finn, Isaiah and even Michael his friends.

“The city does have its advantages… like the pictures or pubs or meeting new people”, he replied and walked around in his room.

He had just finished his sentences and his sister jumped up on her feet again. Like everybody in the Gold family she had an undying source of energy. “New people?!”, Esmeralda exclaimed: “Tell me who! Now!”

Bonnie started to list his small list of friends: “Well, there are my friends… Finn, he is a Shelby, then Isaiah, he is close with them as well and-“

“These are all guys!”, with raising eyebrows she interrupted his brother: “I’m sure they are nice, but they are certainly not the reason, why you spark joy.”

The boxer let out a sign. Esmeralda had sniffed it. There was no point in lying to his nosy sister. She had won. He would give her any information she wanted, but she just had to shut up.

“Fine…”, he mumbled: “There is a girl… She is a singer at the pub… and I like her very much.”

Her lips formed an evil smile as she tasted sweet victory. “Did you make your move yet?”

“ESMERALDA!”

“What? I’m just asking!”

[snowpeawritings]

Snezhnaya’s Finest

The pride of Snezhnaya is what most would call Childe. To you, and even his sister, he was just Tartaglia.

Childe X Gender neutral!Reader

CW (CONTENT WARNING): Suggestive themes, swearing, spoilers for Genshin Impact

❄ Snowpea’s words: I was serious about writing fanfiction as catalyst for Childe to come home HANKSDFSF

IT WORKED FOR MY CYL4 BANNER PULLS AFTER I WROTE THE BDAY PIECE FOR CLAUDE IM SURE AS HELL ITS GONNA WORK HERE TOO

Childe doesn’t listen to other people.

Let me rephrase; he doesn’t pay heed to the opinions of others.

He’s a man with a goal and he’s as determined to complete it as he is just as bullheaded. The rumors towards the Fatui be damned, he has plans for himself and anyone who’s close to him.

Tartaglia “Childe” is the definition of determined.

Although, he is still a human. A human who is just as susceptible to vices and sin. He’s no stranger to that, of course. He tries to cool off when his time at the Fatui was too much. Appearance is everything after all-he’d rather not lose his dignity in public because of his emotions tipping.

“That’s a fucking lie and you know it.” You sneered, poking Childe’s chest. “You’d save your dignity but you’d love to put mine out of non-existence.”

His guffaw could practically be heard across the house and you were glad you had no neighbors for them to hear him and you during some points of the day.

Well, as you heard, Tartaglia doesn’t really care for anyone unless they’re close to him. Of course he would love to preserve some humility for himself, he just finds it cute on how you were trying to preserve yours when he teases you relentlessly.

“You better omit that when you send it!”

“Of course, honey.”

His time at Liyue became interesting ever since meeting Zhongli and practically became his walking bank. Of course, it’s not only Zhongli. The entire culture of Liyue is completely new to him and he’s been enjoying his time. The food, the clothing, the numerous festivals that it showcases-oh Celestia, he remembers the lantern festival that he went with you. He still remembers the beautiful Liyue traditional garb that you wore specifically for the festival. If he could close his eyes, he could practically remember how he held you in his arms as you watched the lanterns lighting up the sky, while he was staring at you with complete adoration.

“Aw...” You cooed, placing your head on his shoulder. “That’s actually so sweet of you!”

He shrugged his shoulder to remove your head. “Don’t get it over your head, I have to write something good about you to her or else she’ll come here personally.”

“Oh, make sure you put the part where you had problems using chopsticks!”

“Oh, aren’t you just pushing it, aren’t you?”

While it seemed like he was goofing off during his mission, he guarantees that all of his actions will lead to his goal for Snezhnaya. All of this for the future of Tsaritsa. All of this for the future that he can share with Tonia and you.

“... I hope this letter finds you well, sister. Once my mission in Liyue is done, I’ll make sure to update you as soon as possible.”

You nodded against his form, listening to his voice as he wrote his letter down. Your eyes slowly drooped down just from hearing his voice as you relaxed against his body. Before you could even fall asleep, he shrugged his back which made you jump.

He chuckled from your tired glare. “The letter is done. Do you want to read it?”

You shook your head, content with the letter when you heard it straight from Childe’s lips. “You better make sure it’s safe for work.”

He let out a small laugh before kissing your head. “Of course, honey. Of course.”

For now, Tartaglia thought as he stared down at your tired form. This present seems just as perfect as the future he envisioned.

[dianapana]

SH Day 12- ANBU Black Ops

@sasuhinamonth

たえる Part 2 (taeru=to endure)

Part 1

Rated M, Ninja Universe that underwent some changes (you’ll see that I use major events in the canon world but there is a lot of history that’s altered), OOC (major OOC for Hinata especially)

Warning: self-harm, mental health, sexual harassment, trauma

Hello, dears, I play quite a bit with chronology in this chapter, I hope it's all easy to understand. I made moth things be during summer so around the time of the girl SH month which is why in all the cases you'll see Sasuke is 1year older than Hina, since his bday is in July and hers in December. I hope you enjoy, ~Love Dia

Sasuke, age 23

I think it’s fair for me to say that I’ve been through a lot, not many things shake me anymore and all the things that have made me worried in the past years have had something in common, they were all somehow related to Hinata. I remember when I woke up after the war, I was chained to a hospital bed, placed under a jutsu that blocked my chakra, I was missing a limb and I was on the verge of insanity once more. The only thing that calmed me down was her image. Even without my chakra I searched for hers. She too was in the hospital; I found her signature light purple chakra but it was so faint and small I almost missed it. Seeing her like that made me crazy with worry, once everyone left my room, I broke all the chains and dragged myself to her room despite the pain. I hadn’t thought of her as fragile since our reunion when she was 15. I could barely stand to see her that way, and even if I wanted to stay and watch over her for longer, I could feel Naruto’s chakra getting closer, which meant I had to leave. For the following weeks I could only go and see her late at night, for there was always someone in her room, Naruto, her father, her sister, some sort of nurse or medic. I recovered under a month, yet I stayed until she woke up.

I was the only one in the room when her eyes opened, she looked confused and for a moment I was sure she had amnesia and would not remember me, us. But for the briefest moment her eyes rested upon my figure and recognition was there, relief was there, gratitude, affection and many other nuances that I can never seem to read or fully comprehend reflected in her eyes. I took her hand and kissed the back of it, allowing myself a small selfish gesture before leaving the room to inform the medics she woke up. Sakura gave me a strange, questioning look when I told her Hinata had woken up, but I didn’t care about subtlety at that second, I just wanted them to check her for any issues, I wanted her to be physically fine.

She didn’t have many memories of the war when she was first questioned, but they came back in waves and waves. I could tell that the questions overwhelmed her, much like the people that littered around, there were over 10 visitors in her tiny hospital room, from her father to Naruto, Kiba and many others. I just watched the whole situation from outside her window. I noticed her looking around, searching for someone that wasn’t there. No, it wasn’t me, she knew I wouldn’t be there when other people were, I knew exactly who she was searching for, that’s why I wanted to be close by. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, I knew things would take a turn for the worse soon enough. I saw it, the exact moment the fog raised off of her memories, the moment in which reality hit her, the moment in which the remaining light in her eyes died.

She asked for Neji, Naruto cringed, her father was the one to inform her of his passing. She asked when the funeral was going to be and silence fell onto the room. Sakura tried to slowly explain that the war ended two months ago and all the dead were already long buried. Hinata cried, she cried for her fallen cousin, she cried for missing his funeral, she cried for herself. They all gave her hugs and condolences, they reassured her that none of that was her fault. They all expected her to mourn and soon enough bounce back to the façade she always kept around the people in the village. They were unaware of the emotional depth her sadness could reach. I knew their expectations would never be met, I could tell that the headspace she was in was similar to the night I found her on the forest floor, she had the same look in her eyes as when she constantly begged me to let her die. Knowing all of that, I expected her to make certain choices, yet, despite knowing what was to come, I was unable to help, there wasn’t a single moment in which she was alone for a week to come. And when it all happened, I panicked at the notion of her death and responded wrongly to her actions.

I wasn’t watching her when she attempted to kill herself, I was with Tsunade who kept insisting that I accept their fake arm. I was in the midst of refusing once more, when I could feel a commotion in her room, I left without a word and ran there. The image that was in front of me wasn’t surprising but it was just as heart-breaking. Hinata’s bed was covered in blood, her left wrist was being treated by Sakura but you could still see the long and slim-cut along her wrist, Naruto was holding her other arm trying to put pressure on her wrist to stop the bleeding. It scared me, the amount of blood on herself and the bed, her light-headedness and indifference indicated that she had been bleeding for a long time. She waited for a moment in which I wasn’t there either, she wanted to escape me too. Had Naruto and Sakura been late they might have found her corpse instead. I left the room to calm myself down, I couldn’t cause a commotion. I tried my best to come up with kind and comforting words to tell her later when I would return to her room, but when I did, the image that greeted me, her arms strapped to the bed, made me lose my composure. I screamed at her, I can’t even recall what I said but I know it was very inappropriate, she laughed, she cried. Trying to comfort her with only one arm was difficult, that was the very first moment when I even considered accepting Tsunade’s offer, but in the end I didn’t. I spent every night that followed with her, after the initial shock I was able to recall the words I meant to give her, I knew they weren’t going to miraculously fix everything but I felt that she needed them nonetheless.

She apologized for considering that path and acting on her thoughts. I undid her chains and pulled her to my lap as she talked. “The moment my eyes moved past Naruto’s shoulders and I saw you in the door frame I regretted my choice, I wished I could undo it if only to never have to see that look on your face” I placed my face into her hair and just breathed her in. “I think I understand a little better now…what you felt when Itachi died, when you found out the truth. Our situations aren’t the same but I remember how…” she stopped, searching for the perfect word.

“Crazy? Unhinged? Mad?” I provided, but she frowned and shook her head.

“No, no, none of those…how anguished, sorrowful, wretched you were at the time. You come to me in a very agitated state, I was scared and concerned but couldn’t grasp that feeling. Now I do” If I’m honest I don’t remember how felt at the time, I don’t remember many things about that period of my life, all I know is that I wanted to give up, I thought I had made only wrong choices in my life, but I saw her and I remembered that even I could save someone.

After a few more nights she assured me that she was now mentally stable, her sadness was still very much present, but she had not had any self-harming thoughts. The decision to leave the village was very difficult at the time, but Hinata assured me that she enjoyed our routine and wished to continue it. I left but our correspondence was much more frequent than before the war, I would write her every other day and she’d reply as soon as my messages reached her. It took a bit over 3 months for her to resume her work as an ANBU, and a bit over 8 months in total to convince Kakashi to promote her to ANBU Black Ops. Her missions became more difficult and longer, she even had a mission in Amegakure that lasted half a year. When she first sent me the message informing me of the location of her mission it reminded me of our first encounter after I left the village. Our encounter that summer isn’t a memory I think of fondly, I was cruel, I was insane, I abused my knowledge of her trauma. Whenever I remember my actions, I want to go back and rewind the time, I want to apologize to 15-year-old Hinata, she was meek and fragile and I broke a part of her. She was doing her best to survive and to keep going and I was a huge obstacle in her recovery. When my feelings for her started changing I was always self-conscious whether they were genuine or not, wasn’t I using her? Wasn’t I just feeling guilty?

Hinata, age 15

I am nervous as I pack my bag for this mission, it is my first solo mission ever. 6 months after I became a Jonin and Tsunade finally trusts me enough to allow me to go alone in a mission. The destination is Amegakure and the mission is supposed to last for about to 3 weeks. The difficulty level of the mission is only B which I’d be pretty annoyed at, but the distance factor and the solo factor make up for it so, I am equally nervous and excited. When I told Neji about the mission he was concerned but didn’t show it much for my sake. Instead, he congratulated me and we had a small picnic in the outer skirt of the Hyuuga estate as celebration.

Now I am looking through my dresser for appropriate clothes for the rain to pack, I have to look for another set of kunais just in case and prepare myself a couple of bentos to have on hand. Slowly, the closer the night before my departure gets the less anxious I am, excitement seems to be the winning sentiment.

The morning of, I wake up at 4:30 a.m. and am unable to sleep longer. By the time I am fully dressed and ready to go it’s only 5:00 a.m. and the sun is barely raising, but I decide that it is light enough outside for me to leave. As always whenever I pass through the forest there’s a chill going through my veins and my enthusiasm is a bit dampened, I actively try and avoid that specific place even if it means it will add to the journey time. On the schedule, Tsunade gave me I’m meant to spend 8 days on the road to the village, approximately 4 or 5 days into the village and 8 more days back.

The mission itself isn’t supposed to be that difficult all I need to do is meet with different people in the village give them the scrolls Tsunade gave me and wait for their replies. All in all, there should be no fighting, I’m mostly a messenger but the large amount of people that need contacting made it impossible for a summon raven to deliver the scrolls. My adrenaline rush of being on my own, experiencing what freedom feels like made me speed up during the journey, I took less stops and didn’t even spend the night in one of the Inns I was supposed to. Thus, not only did I depart earlier than planned but I arrived into the village almost a day and a half ahead of the schedule. Since it’s still barely past noon I decide to start the mission a day early and I am able to cover a fifth of the task on the first day.

People usually when talking about Amegakure call it gloomy and depressing, but I enjoy walking around in the rain, the temperature isn’t too high despite it being the middle of a heatwave everywhere else, the smell and sounds of rain also add to its charm. The Inn I’m supposed to stay at for the duration of my mission is on the outside of the village, it is away from the noise of the centre, but not far out enough to say it isn’t part of the village at all. Walking into my room I sit down and finally grasp that I am days away from Konoha, I am alone. The realization makes me emotional; I hadn’t realized how much I needed to be on my own, how good it would feel to put distance between me and everything that Konoha entailed.

Sitting alone in the dark, only with the occasional lightning brightening up my room, I make a decision, I promise myself to only ever come on solo missions. I’ve endured years of discomfort so I deserved to feel this way, if only during missions. I take a shower and go to bed, I’m not as physically tired as I thought I would be after the journey and that worries me. I don’t want the nightmare to come and ruin my mood, but I close my eyes nonetheless.

It feels like barely a second passed when I open my eyes and see the cool light coming from outside. The sun is hidden behind the clouds of rain, but its light still pushes through to an extent. I had no dreams, no nightmares. I rested well and I feel better than I did in many years. I walk barefoot onto the cold wooden floor and I open the window, not caring that the rain is getting both me and the floor wet. I close my eyes and feel immensely liberated, the heavy chains that dragged me down at all times disappeared. Nobody here knows me and I don’t know them, I am but a face in the crowd, this anonymity offers me the independence I never knew before.

I complete the mission in under 3 days. I feel faster, stronger, happier here. It feels like I can do anything and everything. I have about 3 days I can waste in the village, under normal circumstances I’d return immediately to Konoha to get another mission and the cycle would repeat. But I decide to stay here for a while longer, I want to enjoy this feeling to the best of my ability. The day right after completing the mission I simply stay inside and sleep almost the whole day. I’m recharging my batteries which have been on low for 3 years now. I forgot what being well-rested felt like.

The following day I decide to wander around some more. The mission had me walk all over the village’s centre so, I decide to check out its outskirt more. I go and eat delicious food at a small booth owned by an older couple. Due to its relatively small scale Amegakure’s buildings are much much higher than those from Konoha so I climb on top of one that I deem to be among the highest and sit there, in the rain just watching the busy streets, looking over all the sky-high buildings and enjoying the feeling of being unrestrained by people’s gazes and expectations. For the smallest second, I feel someone’s gaze on me but I discard it as being the locals looking at the strange outsider that’s standing in the rain. I refuse to let my mood be dampened, not when I am just as high as this building is.

I return to the Inn and decide to take a shower, tomorrow is going to be my last day here and I feel like time is moving far too fast. I’m rinsing my hair when I get the same feeling as before, like someone is watching me. Before I can dismiss it again, I hear steps behind me, my mind goes blank. I’m suddenly turned around by a powerful hand, before closing my eyes I see a pair of black dead, unfeeling, cold, cruel, scary, scary, scary, scary eyes. I close my eyes and clench my jaw; I can feel tears trailing down my face. I’m hyperventilating, I can’t move, I’m weak, I’m small. I whimper when I feel his hand touching the scar right above my pelvis. The touch transports me back to when I’m 12 and on the ground, my legs no longer support me, the only reason why I’m still standing is because the man is holding my arm in an iron grip. The moment passes and his hand is gone allowing me to fall to my knees and then onto my butt. I have no idea how long I stay there in a trance. When I’m finally able to regain strength in my limbs to feel and make small movements I notice the shower water is freezing cold despite it being set to warm. I turn it off and walk into the room, there’s no trace of the man anymore, he didn’t do anything beyond touching my arm and my scar. Maybe he was simply created by my brain, yea no one was here, how could they be, why would they be.

I can feel myself slipping into hysteria as laughter bubbles up into my throat. I look around the room again searching for proof again and I sigh in relief when I find none. I’m finally calm enough to get dressed but I make the mistake of looking in the mirror. There’s a handprint on my arm where he gripped me. The print is red and turning a weird purple colour in places and yellow in others. He was here. He was real. I take small breaths in order to calm myself, I am fine, I am here, I can’t even picture the face of the man that was here, I try to force myself to forget the handprint, it was just a dream, another nightmare.

I pack my things and leave that very night despite being tired physically, mentally and emotionally. I don’t want to return to Konoha, and I can’t stay here, I don’t know where to go. The freedom I felt before gave me an amazing sense of accomplishment, but now it is a source of unease. I feel lost and like I do not belong anywhere. I feel insignificant. I feel lonely. I close my eyes and just sit on the floor outside of the village, waiting for something or someone to come get me. But nothing happens and the weather is turning cold despite the summer so I pick myself up and start walking wherever the road will take me.

I don’t remember the journey back home, I can’t even tell in how many days I completed it, I didn’t stop at all, I just ran. I ran from the man, the past, I ran from my weak self. I thought myself to be strong now that I am a Jonin, but I froze and was unable to do anything all the same. I need to be more than I am, I need to be stronger, braver, untouchable, more perceptive.

I hate myself for hesitating to enter the Konoha, I hate myself for hesitating to take on a new mission when Tsunade offers it. I hate myself when I have to walk through the halls of the Hyuuga compound, I hate myself when I hide from Neji. I hate myself when I walk into my room and burst into tears. I hate myself for getting my hope that high in Ame only to have them all crash and burn. I hate that I feel more broken today than I did 3 weeks ago.

Sasuke, age 16

I’ve been in a weird mood since a week ago when I saw Hyuuga in the Village Hidden in Rain. I hadn’t heard or seen anything related to Konoha since I left during the Chunnin exam. She was my first contact with it. Hinata Hyuuga, I remember her name clearly, she holds a special meaning to me, she is a life I saved. I saved her back before I was caught up in any business with Orochimaru, when I still thought following Kakashi was the right path to take, back when I was stupid and naïve. I hadn’t thought of her since that moment, but when my eyes fell onto her, I felt proud that she survived, but I also felt the need, the urge to utterly crush her beneath my feet. Her life belongs to me; I saved her so, I have every right to destroy her.

I could tell she was uncomfortable with me there, I felt her flinch as I traced the scar above her pelvis, I heard her whimper when I turned around, and I saw from the corner of my eye, as her legs have in and she fell to the floor. She looked small and pathetic and I felt strong in comparison.

However, now, days later I feel…guilt. I feel as if I used something against her that I shouldn’t have. At the time her image was blurry and not something I paid attention to, but I can clearly see it now whenever I close my eyes. He white skin had almost no imperfections besides the three scars, her eyes were shut tight, her face was red and wet, at the time I gloated at the thought that the water droplets were tears, now I’m hoping they were from the shower. Her long dark hair was wet and clinging to her body. She did her best to hide from me with her hands, with her position slightly bent. She was helpless, she didn’t even try to stop me, she didn’t scream or fight back, she froze in place and allowed me to do whatever I wanted. At the time that too made me feel powerful, I deluded myself into thinking that my presence as Sasuke Uchiha made her cower in fear. Now that I am analysing things once more, I realize it was her trauma that rendered her powerless, it was my presence that caused her fear, but she wasn’t scared of me, Sasuke, but rather of me, a male; she didn’t see me as an individual but as the image of the man that hurt her in the past.

Realizing that in her mind I was equal to that disgusting piece of trash makes me livid. I clench my jaw, pick up the first thing I see, a jar of whatever substance from one of Orochimaru’s labs and I throw it to the wall. The green liquid escapes its container and slowly eats away at the wall and ground, the sizzling noise and putrid smell don’t even bother me. I’m angry at her, I want to find her and scream in her face that I’m not that man. I wanna shake her until she understands. I am mad at her, at myself. Kabuto comes in and curses, he drags me out and talks under his breath, his presence adds to my anger.

“What do you want?” I ask him, I’m looking down at him. I grew taller these past few weeks, taller than him. I want him to pick a fight, I want a reason to smash his face in. The image of his bloody face as he lays unconscious on the ground would bring me the satisfaction I need. He looks mockingly at me, that’s enough to start a fight.

Less than 20 minutes later the fight is over, he’s not unconscious, he’s still standing, more precisely, walking away. But he is bleeding and so am I. The fight didn’t help. I still feel angry, but my anger is slowly being overshadowed by guilt.

The sudden urge to find her and apologize overcomes me, but I dismiss it. She’s long gone…I checked. The two of us won’t meet anytime soon and even if we do, I’ll never apologize, not to her, not to someone that…weak…

Hinata age 22

After sleeping in until 11 after all, I wake up to Sasuke’s face next to mine, I feel at ease, I feel happy. I cup his face and place a kiss over his closed eyelids. I feel his change in breath when he wakes up but his eyes remain closed. His arm comes around my waist and pulls me closer to him, slowly he opens his eyes and offers me a lazy smirk. For a while I forget that we’re in Konoha, I forget everything about people trying to control me. All my worries just disappear with his presence.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks and brushes my bangs out of my eyes. ‘You’ I want to say, but I decide to be selfish instead. I sit up and he does too, I move towards him and place myself on his lap, we are chest to chest, face-to-face. “I am unsure how long they’ll make me stay here. This... sensei job…they could stretch it for months, who knows.” I hate that that’s true, I hate that they’re trying to cage me into the village. “it’s difficult being here for an indefinite period of time, especially since I don’t have out missions to look forward to. So…” I stop talking, rethinking what I’m about to ask, wondering if it’s worth it, but he looks at me with no judgement, he’s waiting patiently. “So…I was thinking. Maybe being here in Konoha would be better…if you were here as well” Part of me initially regrets the words and wants to take them back.

“You want me to stay here until you can go back to your normal missions” he didn’t formulate it as a question so I didn’t reply, mostly because I didn’t trust myself not to say no, to act like it was a joke, so I stay silent. “Ok, I will” his hand is on my wrist and it’s slowly moving up under my tank top. “You should already know that anything you ask of me, I’ll do Hinata” I do know that, but this was something that I had been afraid to ask for a while. Would staying in Konoha be better with him here? It must be.

We talk some more about his stay in Konoha and then proceed to eat a late breakfast. “I passed by the cottage outside of Amegakure on my way to Konoha” that cottage will forever represent my safe space, all my memories in it are out-of-this-world happy. The cottage itself is pretty much outside every territory of every village, it belongs to nobody, yet that’s the place I feel I belong in. I stayed there for my thirst or fourth mission as an ANBU, as usual Sasuke met up with me and we live together there for months. Sasuke and I worked together for most of my missions, we completed them faster than it was estimated they would take and we spent the remaining of the time just being together outside of all the rules of everyone. That was the place in which after much deliberation and inner-fights I decided to put my trust in him. By then we had already expressed our feelings verbally and with actions such as kisses and hugs, but I wanted to move past that because I craved that closeness with someone, I wanted a stronger bond between us, but also out of spite, I wanted to prove that I was able to enjoy sex. I wanted to prove that what had happened no longer affected me. Out first time was a bit awkward, we were both virgins, Sasuke was overly conscious of making me feel comfortable and I just wanted it to be done with so our desired speed didn’t match, but it happened and it was fine. The second and third time around it was much better and now we reached a point in which intimacy with him doesn’t scare me in the least, I love it and it makes me feel amazing. I am aware that I’m not fully over the incident, the close proximity of strange men that I don’t know still bothers me at times, however, I am much stronger and able to protect myself, I am just...wary.

I end my train of thoughts by going back to the memory of our first time and it makes me giggle a little. Sasuke asks me with his eyes what I’m laughing about and my reply is only a smirk, I see the wheels spinning in his brain and the connections being made. I love that after so many years we’re able to just understand each other in this manner. He gets up from his chair and walks around the table to place his hand on the nape of my neck. “I can show you how much I’ve improved since than” he whispers and bends down to kiss me. I smile against his lips and loop my arms around his neck allowing him to pick me up.

I must have fallen asleep again because I am woken up this time by Naruto loudly knocking on my door. He left me alone yesterday because Sasuke was around but I guess even his long-lost best friend can’t keep his attention off of me for more than 24 hours. I look next to me and my heart hurts because Sasuke isn’t there. I tell myself it’s because he felt Naruto so he left, but I still don’t like that.

Naruto keep knocking on the door and I’m sure he’s about to tear it down if I don’t open it soon so I walk to it in my pjs with my hair a mess. When I open the door, he stops in his tracks. “Oh…” his eyes linger onto the scar on my shoulder, he has an obsession with it I’ve noticed. Does he believe that’s my biggest scar…if only he knew. “I didn’t know you were sleeping, I’m sorry”

“After yesterday’s mission the kids have the day off so I wanted to rest” I don’t assure him that it is ok even though I know that’s the polite thing to do. I am bitter and annoyed that Sasuke isn’t there. For a split moment when I woke up, I thought I had imagined his presence.

“I just wanted to bring these to you.” He says and presents me with a pile of papers. “I know you were given them before when Kakashi assigned you as their sensei” hah, like it was Kakashi’s idea. Hokage-sama wouldn’t have pushed me into being a sensei from a Black Ops and we all know that. I know Naruto pulled all of the strings to get me here, however, Kakashi-san is also to blame for allowing all of this to happen “but I think you should really read them well, you said you have a free day today. I can stay here with you and read them together”

I look at him and his easy-going smile. On normal days I’d try and be nice, but all I want to do today is spend my time in peace. “I heard Uchiha-san is back. Are you sure you want to spend the day with me reading about some kids rather than catch up with him?” I feel sorry for guiding Naruto towards Sasuke, but I know Sasuke and if he’s one thing, he’s good at not being found.

Upon hearing Sasuke’s name Naruto’s smile brightened to the extent that it actually hurt my eyes. “I already saw and talked to him today” He left before Naruto came here, was it before we ate? After? When did they meet? “We talked and agreed to go on a mission together this week” He’s leaving after I asked him to stay “We went to Kakashi and already got all the info, so I’ll spend a lot of time together with him and find out all about what he’s been up to in these years and I ---” Naruto keeps talking but I feel suffocated.

[notebookmusical]

Hi! It was my mom's bday yesterday so that's why I didn't reply. That's so cool that you're going with someone who didn't get to go and experiencing it for the first time and to bring your mom to the other show. I didn't think to bring my mom but that's way too long for her in a theater but might eventually watch it if it comes to streaming...and I hope it does! I think it will sometimes eventually. Also..I ordered the pink vinyl! I think it was a good cover and I didn't want to miss out this time. I hope you knew about it cuz I know Taylor didn't post it on her account. I love the color too! What do you think of the new beach aesthetic for the album? I know some people said it's so different than big city album..but I always kinda thought it was both too in a way. Or like..the city was just because that's where she was living at the time in her life more than the actual songs on the album. But I still love all the covers!

Did you get a chance to listen to Guts yet? I did and I liked it! I also think bad idea right is just okay and sounds a lot like brutal to me but vampire did grow on me a lot! I think there's a mix of pop punk and ballads in this album though and you might still enjoy it. I feel like half of my favorites were the pop punk ones and some were also the ballads. I noticed she has more relatable or different topics in this album compared to sour which made me think I liked it more. Like I was explaining, I think I just prefer that in songs and liked it more than Maisie's album on the first listen but it could be a little similar..maybe? Some people also compare Olivia to Billie Eillish and also Taylor. But I'm not trying to compare too much and they do have different styles..in lyrics and music, and I like both! I also prefer lyrics to music in songs since I like every genre..so usually the sound will eventually grow on me so maybe it will for you too. Also with lyrics, I listen to a lot of alternative music and there usually aren't very specific detailed lyrics most of the time so it's probably just a genre thing and sometimes more about the feeling. But my sister also said some of the songs were lacking emotion compared to sour and I kinda agree with that too. I'd be curious to know what you think but overall I liked it! Totally agree about Vertigo and it's cool that Taylor posted about it!

Ya I love dance heavy shows too..especially the ones you mentioned..and how well those revivals were, compared to the movie too. I'm so sorry you didn't get to see it..I had actually only seen the movie so I loved seeing it on stage and how different and exciting it was since the movie cut stuff out, and the acting was good. That video looks very cheap with no effort in set, acting or costumes so that really sucks! Ooh I have not looked at it yet but I totally will and I have only briefly heard of Marie Dancing still but that's good to know. I just realized most Sondheim shows have barely any dancing..lol. Also I am excited to listen to the Sweeney cast recording that just came out too!

Thanks for the recs! I will try to read as much as I can. I was really stuck on murder mystery and was originally just gonna do vague mystery but realized I own Arsenic and Adobo so that helps. I'm also not really into horror but do have something by Stephen King..I will try to find something else since it can be long.Also the witches one..but I liked your recs. I just realized I'll give you the Sun has a yellow cover..and you'll miss me when I'm gone does remind me of fall for some reason but I'm going to read it anyway. I did not know much about These Violent Delights and not really into fantasy but I heard good things and I do have both books. With autumn romance, I was wondering if Business or Pleasure counts..kinda? That's another book I still haven't finished. But if the Night Circus counts that's fine too! And ya..wuthering heights has been on my list for a while and now it sort of gives me a reason to read it..which is what's cool about the reading challenge..and also reading different books and genres. It keeps it interesting. Do you still read books at the same time for this or is it more one at a time for you? I'm trying to decide what strategy is best. I think reading one book has been working for me with Mistakes Were Made and I'll probably be finished soon, but with so many books..it also makes sense to start as many as you can..and I'm already in the middle of some of them so that's a good thing haha. I hope you are having a lovely weekend too and enjoy going to Vancouver!!!🩷🩷🩷

helloooo! i hope your mom had a lovely birthday and that you had a good weekend! i did get the pink vinyl! i was waiting for it!! i've ordered the pink one, and a friend was really kind and ordered me the yellow one. i also ordered the blue one, but i think i'll end up cancelling that one! i just don't have room for all of these vinyls haha. i really like the beach aesthetic for 1989, honestly! i think a good half of the songs do remind me of the city, and the other half remind me of the beach, so i think it's a fun! i can't wait to see what polaroids we get too!! which cover is your favorite so far? on another note, can i just say how lovely the vinyl colors are? i don't have a soft yellow or a pink vinyl in that shade yet so i'm super super excited to see how they look in person! some of my favorite vinyls are pink, so i'm just very excited!

i listened to guts a bit! i think it'll take some time to grow on me, but i was expecting that! i think a lot of olivia's stuff is very catchy, but i need some time to get into it! my top three currently are making the bed, teenage dream, and logical, but i also do like pretty isn't pretty a lot, and lacy is growing on me. i'm also very curious to see how olivia grows as a performer (i think she's really lovely, but i think she — like most artists that got big in the last three years — doesn't have a very strong stage presence, which makes sense given [gestures vaguely] everything). i don't listen to a lot of billie eilish but i really loved the song she did for the barbie movie, and i wish i got to see her at lollapalooza because i've heard she's a phenomenal live performer! speaking of vertigo, did you see the tiktok griff posted about vertigo/clean? it's so cute 🥺

i loved marie dancing still! it's one of my little musicals that i love very, very dearly (i saw it seven times in the span of three weeks — will never do that again for any musical + had a lot of lovely little circumstances/things fall into place that made it work out) but also a musical that i think should never go anywhere or at least needs very very heavy work before it should have another run! i haven't gotten a chance to listen to the new sweeney yet but hopefully soon!! i was at the bookstore today and didn't realize they released parade on vinyl, and then realized i also haven't listened to the new parade revival album yet either so i have to do that too! i just haven't been very good at listening to new cast recordings lately. i think the last thing i listened to was west end bonnie and clyde, and that was just because caitlyn kept posting about it! i will try to listen to the new sweeney todd soon and then we can discuss!!

arsenic and adobo is a very cozy murder mystery! i don't really read a lot of murder mysteries, unless they're cozy but i really liked it! i don't remember when business or pleasure is set, but if it takes place during the autumn months i'd count it as an autumnal romance! the witches one ... the very secret society of irregular witches (adult) is one of my FAVORITE books; it's so cozy and so lovely, but i also really liked the witch haven (ya) — some of my friends were let down by the sequel but i really liked how it ended! and the night circus is the loveliest autumn romantasy in my opinion!!! my friends and i are doing a traveling annotation book cub and one of them picked the night circus and i'm so excited because it'll give me a chance to reread (and to also count it for the readathon)!

i've been having the most chaotic reading schedule! i've mostly been jumping from book to book based on vibes, but sometimes i'll also just sit down and read a book in an entire sitting! so it really is just based on how much time i have/how i'm feeling that day. i also keep one book in my car, and one book in my mom's, and so if i have any time just waiting around i'll read a few pages of it (the book eaters is in my car, for the throne is in my mom's car) but that doesn't always work very well (and sometimes i'm in the mood to read it so i have to go to the garage to get it haha). i've got serpent & dove on audiobook, and then just started annotating seven year slip for traveling book club! i've been reading a chunk of les mis each month, but haven't felt in the mood for it this month yet, so i'm holding off! technically i started annotating the starless sea for a friend in january but then kept pushing it off, and i still have to get back into a fragile enchantment (arc) but it's not out for a few more months so i have time/have arcs coming out before that that i should get to! andddd i started harlem after midnight the other day but only got a chapter in and then wasn't feeling too well so i put it down and now i just want to get back to seven year slip haha!

vancouver was fun! and i've had a good weekend, health issues aside 🤍 hope you're having a good day and you have a great week!!!

[kaaytea]

Im the anon who requested the Koushuu x manager/Kazuya's sister reader

Since im still completely in love with the dinner headcanons, I was wondering since it its Koushuu's bday, if i could make another request?^^

About how manager/kazuya's sister would surprise him? Maybe she finally convinces Kazuya to let her spend some time with Kou in the dorm room and they have this really special, fluffy moment cause he deserves some love on his bday🥺🥺

I’m honestly surprised at how quickly I wrote this (see what happens when you guys inspire me😤) so hopefully it sounds consistent. As a fellow Koushuu lover I had sO much fun writing this. Technically bc Wolfy's birthday is in the winter, Miyuki wouldn't share a dorm with him anymore but for the sake of this oneshot let's pretend third years are allowed to stay on the team 🤭 I hope you like it anon! 💖

Reason

----------------------------------------------------------

"Please Nii-chan!"

Kazuya's face scrunched in displeasure as he twirled the bat in his hand.

"How many times do I have to say no?" He flatly stated. Kazuya kicked his foot against the crate you were sitting on, his way of trying to end the discussion and get you to continue tossing balls for him.

You let out a deep sigh before picking up another baseball, briefly letting your fingers brush over the worn stitching and scratched leather then lightly tossing it up where Kazuya cleanly hit the ball into the net. You sat there stewing in your thoughts as you continued to half-heartedly toss the balls up, putting in only just enough effort to get the ball up for your brother to hit. You didn't flinch at the sharp clang of the bat, once upon a time you might have, but at that moment you were too upset to even give it a second thought.

"Ok, but what if-"

"(Y/n)," Kazuya cut you off with a stern look, his tone was frighteningly reminiscent of the one your father used to scold you. The simple utter of your name immediately sent chills up your arms as you fought the urge to cower as you did when you were a child. "I said no, I'm not discussing this with you anymore."

You shot up from the crate, gripping the ball in your hand tightly as you glared up at your brother. You weren't going to let him play the older brother card -not this time! You would keep pushing for this until he broke down.

"But it's not fair! You hang out with your friends all the time! Why can't I?!"

"Because Dad told me to look after you, and that includes keeping you from mischievous boys"

Your face screwed up in a sour expression, "If you wanted to keep me from boys why in the world did you let me become a manager for a BOYS baseball team?"

Kazuya stared down at you, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to find the words to respond to you.

"That's.....that's actually a good question. Any chance you'd consider resigning?"

"NII-CHAN!"

The boy broke out into a fit of laughter leaning his weight onto the bat to keep himself upright as he gasped out phrases like: "your face!" and "You actually thought I was serious!"

You huffed at your brother’s childish behavior and slumped back onto the crate, leaning your head on your palm as you spun the baseball around In your other hand. You were completely frustrated with Kazuya, he was treating this like a joke, and somewhere deep in your heart you were a bit hurt by his lack of faith in, not only you but Okumura as well.

Kazuya's laughter started to die down as he straightened up and got back into his batting stance. Only this time you didn't toss him a ball to hit, he watched as you dejectedly dropped the ball in your hand back into the crate.

"Do you really not trust me?"

You heard him sigh through his nose, followed by the sound of another crate being dragged over so he could sit in front of you. He kicked your foot gently, an unspoken way of him telling you to look at him while he talked.

"Look, it's not that I don't trust you, you're very smart and have always been careful with who you make friends with," he offered you a small smile making you fight the urge to smile back, "It's more the fact that you asked to be alone in a dorm room with Okumura. That boy confuses the hell out of me, I never know what he's thinking so it's difficult for me to give you permission to leave you unsupervised with him."

You snorted at what he said. Your brother made Koushuu sound like a mysterious delinquent when in reality he was anything but.

"Nii-chan, Kou can't look me in the eyes longer than 5 minutes. You don't have to worry about him doing anything bad."

"Kou?!" He gasped out. The catcher brought a hand to his forehead dramatically, "You're on a first-name basis with him already! What do I do?! You're being corrupted!"

You groaned, rubbing the heels of your hands into your eyes trying to distract yourself from the unavoidable headache that would surely appear in the next few minutes.

Kazuya stood up from the crate and pushed it to the side with his foot.

"Two hours"

"What?"

"I'm giving you two hours with him -but that's it!"

A grin spread across your face and you jumped up trapping Kazuya in a tight hug. One of his hands ruffled your hair as you babbled out thank yous.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Now get off, I wanna get through the rest of this crate, and then I'll walk you back to your dorm."

--------------------------------------------------

The day was finally here! Your brother had graciously granted you two whole hours to hang out with Kou in his dorm! Safe to say you were a little more than excited as your dorm mates teased you about seeming extra lively that morning. You simply brushed it off as having gotten a good night’s rest, but the heat radiating off your cheeks contradicted your efforts.

You checked the gift bag hanging loosely from your wrist for the thousandth time as you approached the familiar door. After confirming that his gift was still safely stowed away, you gently knocked and impatiently bounced on the balls of your feet while waiting to be let in.

It didn't take long for the door to swing open and reveal the familiar eyes that always shone with warmth, a juxtaposition to their icy color when you were around. It took you countless hours and silly conversations to melt Okumura's frosty exterior, leaving something reminiscent of a loyal pup.

"Hi," he softly said, already moving to the side to let you into the dorm. When the door closed you threw yourself at Okumura, wrapping your arms around the boy’s neck and pulling him into a hug. The action startled him slightly, his body stiffening up from surprise before he cautiously wrapped his arms around your waist.

"Happy birthday, Kou!" You chirped, beaming up at the blonde, whose cheeks were quickly tinting a soft pink.

"T-thanks," he sputtered as he untangled himself from you. Before Okumura could get a chance to process and compose himself you were already pushing his gift into his hands while chanting "open it open it!"

He sat down on the edge of his bed —with you doing the same, positively vibrating with excitement— and gently pulled out a little bundle of blue tissue paper neatly folded over the gift. Okumura carefully unwrapped the object revealing a new pair of batting gloves.

He turned the gloves over in his hands inspecting them. A mixture of white and deep blue detailing produced a very clean look to the gloves. The thicker material around palms and the very obvious brand name instantly made him realize you probably spent a good amount of money to get these.

"Do you like them?" He turned to look at how excited you seemed. The sparkle in your eyes made his heart flutter, but he couldn't shake the slight guilt that ate at him. "Takuma helped me a bit with finding a style similar to your old pair -but, I noticed you rub at your palms after batting so I got you gloves with extra padding around the base of your hands!"

Okumura was a bit surprised at how observant you were. It's true his old gloves, a pair he's had since his second year in junior high, had started to wear down. It always amazed him how you could pick up on small cues in the sport. Although to be fair, you were a Miyuki and had basically been trained by your older brother in everything baseball-related since you could walk.

"They're really nice," he slipped one of the gloves on, clenching his hand a few times to get a feel for them, "you didn't have to spend so much on me though."

You rolled your eyes and bumped your shoulder against his.

"I knew you'd say that...Think of it this way, these will probably last you the rest of your time at Seidou, so technically they were a valid investment on my part." You sent him a gentle smile which he returned before taking off the glove and moving to put them in his practice bag.

While Okumura was occupied your attention was stolen by the laptop sitting open on his bed.

"You weren't doing school work, right? I'm not interrupting or anything?"

The boy looked back at you and shook his head, his blonde hair bounced slightly at the movement. He walked back over to the bed returning to his spot next to you. In one quick movement, he dragged the laptop over to the both of you and unplugged the headphones he had in. Immediately your senses were filled with the voices of announcers and the crack! of a wooden bat.

"The Hanshin Tigers?," You looked up at him where he confirmed your guess with a short nod, his eyes not leaving the screen as he watched the team’s left fielder catch a pop-up, "I didn't know you were a fan."

"I wouldn't really consider myself one," he softly said, "Taku made me watch all their games with him when we were kids, and the habit sort of stuck."

You smiled at the thought of a younger Koushuu being forced to watch games with his enthusiastic friend. You wished you were there at that time to see a younger version of your two friends, Takuma most definitely shaking Koushuu’s shoulders excitedly at any play that seemed remotely difficult. 

It was obvious that Okumura was still invested in the game, and you'd be lying if you said you weren't interested in seeing how it was gonna play out, so the both of you found yourselves sitting up in his bed.

You quickly lost track of time as you both watched the game, pointing out plays and betting on what would happen. Although, the longer you sat the more sore your arm was becoming. Okumura didn't have the largest build compared to other players on the team, but his shoulders were still significantly broader than your own. Because of that you had bent you right arm and shoulder in an awkward position to watched the game. You started to fidget around trying to find a more comfortable way to sit. Koushuu was about to offer to set the laptop up on a desk instead, but his thoughts were cut off when he let out an involuntary squeak as you picked up his left arm and draped it across your shoulders.

"Is this ok?"

He could only stiffly nod as he felt his heart rate pick up and heat spreading across his cheeks. The heat spread to the tips of his ears as he felt you snuggle closer into his side and rest your head on his chest.

As awkward as he felt in the moment, Okumura had to admit that having you tucked under his arm was a nice feeling. He enjoyed being able to connect with you, somewhere deep in his heart he hoped this moment was what would push the both of you to become a little more than just friends. Slowly Okumura relaxed into the feeling, pulling you closer into him and gingerly leaning his head on yours.

--------------------------------------------------

"Koushuu?" You questioned as you both watched the ending ceremony to the game being displayed. He responded with a hum, dropping his hand to play with the ends of your hair.

"Would you play professionally if you were given the chance?"

He sighed, twisting a lock of your hair around his finger as he pondered your question. He was quite familiar with this topic, his family had been asking him that very question for the past few years and he always had the same response.

"If I found a reason to."

He gazed down at you, watching your eyes shift around his face as you studied his expression.

"I've always just followed Kazuya from team to team, managing and learning so I wouldn't be left behind," your eyes flicked to his lips briefly before locking back on to his crystalline hues, "But he leaves in a few months....I've been trying to find a new path to follow."

A greedy voice from the depths of Okumura's mind whispered 'me'. If he were to be honest he already found his reason to continue perusing baseball, and that reason was you.

In only a short time span you had somehow given a new meaning to the game, your passion and joy for the sport had spread into his heart and, as selfish as it sounded, he hoped that you'd join his side and face the sport together as partners once your time at Seidou came to an end.

Neither of you had noticed how you were slowly leaning closer and closer to each other, a magnetized energy pulling you together. With your noses just barely touching, you cupped his jaw and started to tilt your head up.

"YOUR TWO HOURS ARE UP (Y/N)! ITS TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE NOW!~"

The magnetic feeling vanished the instant the door slammed open and Kazuya practically sang for you to leave. Luckily, Okumura had quick reflexes and was able to put a decent amount of space between the two of you the moment Kazuya's voice echoed around the room.

"I'll walk you back to your dorm," he said softly, avoiding looking at his captain as you both shuffled out the door.

The walk to your dorm was silent. There was nothing to say as you were both too embarrassed to mention what had almost happened.

Okumura was somehow even more aggravated by Miyuki, the both of you were so close to finally admitting and giving in to the chemistry that had been slowly and steadily building since summer break. All of that progress was ruined in a matter of seconds by the nuisance of a captain.

You stopped in front of your dorm door, quickly looking down both halls only to find the area vacant of any other girls.

"Koushuu," you tapped his shoulder making him turn his attention from the floor to you. Your arms wrapped around his neck and you reached up on your tiptoes, your lips a hairs width away from his.

"Happy Birthday," you whispered before pressing your lips together.

Okumura gently returned the kiss, his hands hovering near you —unsure of what to do with them— until you moved his right hand to cup your cheek. Instinctively he tilted your head up slightly.

You both pulled away with batted breath and burning faces. In those few seconds following, your actions caught up with you. Your body burned in embarrassment as you stuttered out a 'bye' and slipped into your dorm.

Koushuu's fingers drifted up to his mouth as he walked back to the baseball team's dorms, still slightly in shock at the situation.

Hopefully, that first kiss showed you your new path just as it had confirmed his.

[sincerelyella]

It’s Your Love - happy birthday Burnsy!

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Pairings: Drake x OC (Alyssa); Liam x MC (Ella)

Song Inspiration: It’s Your Love by Tim McGraw & Faith Hill

Characters belong to Pixelberry; OC Alyssa Devereaux belongs to my sister @burnsoslow​; Ella Brooks belongs to me.

Summary: The gang coordinates a surprise for Alyssa’s birthday.

A/N: It’s my Burnsy’s birthday and I’m sure everything I’m going to say she already knows! Firstly, I’m so sorry I changed my mind about which AU and which song for this fic like 47545024 million trillion times. Burns just freaking gets me mmkay? She’s my nakie twin, my soul sister, my football bestie and my biggest cheerleader. GUYS! Idk how I could have gotten through this year without her checking in on me, our football conversations or her amazing (and haaawwwwt) fics. Some dialogue in this fic, btw, was taken from a conversation we really had (and as usual, she is hilarious).

Burns, you know that I love you a BUTT TON and I will fight ANYBODY for you (where’s my vaseline?!) Thank you for always being in my corner, for giving me SEVERAL pep talks this year (because I’m dramatic), for believing in me when I sometimes didn’t believe in myself, and for loving me SO HARD. I really hope you have an amazing day and you enjoy your bday dessert and that you like this little fic.

-> please note, this is a rereblog and I am adding this fic to my ML. Today is not actually our sweet Burnsy’s birthday even though we would all like it to be lol

A/N2: This is set in The Loft AU by the way! Check it out here if you haven’t seen these guys’ shenanigans.

Warnings: Adult language, sexual innuendos, and major fluff guys!! The birthday girl wanted to be swooned and I will do my damndest to give her whatever she wants today.

Thank you so much @alyssalauren​ for letting me vent and letting me harass you with my whining … and listening to me change my mind about this for WEEKS - and also prereading for me along with @ofpixelsandscribbles​. I love you guys so much!

Words: 3149 (oops)

Alyssa was not feeling well. The more she coughed, the more she felt like death. “Oh, God, I feel like my brain is going to explode into itty bitty pieces,” she moaned with her arm draped over her face.

Drake bit his lip in an effort to stop a chuckle. She’s so fucking cute, and whiny. But cute. “Baby, it’s just a cold, you’ll be fine.” He slid onto their large king-sized bed and began to rub her lower back.

“It’s not! It’s the plague! Those kids at school don’t cover their mouths and sneeze up into the air! Like, I can see particles of their spit, just wafting,” she complained as she waved her hand in the air, mimicking the particles. “I bet you it landed on me or I inhaled that shit and now, look at me!” Her cute nose was reddened slightly from blowing out copious amounts of snot. She was seriously thinking about shoving some tissue in each nostril just to make sure nothing dripped.

Drake moved his hands upward and massaged her shoulders gently. “I can make you some soup,” he nibbled on her earlobe. “And make you feel … relaxed.”

“Mmmm,” she shivered at his words and sniffled. “Yes, baby, make me feel relaxed!”

A little while later

After Drake’s impressive two hour session of making Alyssa feel better, loud knocks sounded at their bedroom door.

“Lyssa!” Ella bellowed. “Lyss, you’re not answering my phone calls! Are you dead?!”

“No,” she croaked from the bed and stifled a laugh when Drake tripped trying to put on his boxers. “I was just getting my back blown out by my hot boyfriend.”

“Ew, TMI! Okay, are you covered up? I’m coming in!”

“No!” Drake yelled as he hurriedly threw on his pants. “Do not come in here, Brooks! I’m fucking naked!”

“Like I haven’t seen a naked man before,” Ella pushed open the door and rolled her eyes at Drake. “You aren’t even naked, Walker, get a grip.”

“No damn privacy around here,” he grumbled as he looked for a shirt in the closet.

“Hi!” Alyssa called out hoarsely from the bed as she tucked her comforter around her naked body. “I didn’t go to work today, I felt like death was coming for me.”

“I could hear you coughing from the kitchen. So, your blood pressure and that gnarly cough you have are what’s concerning me.”

“Yeah,” Lyss frowned and sniffed. “The cough is rough.”

“And gunky huh? Are you spitting up weird colored stuff?”

“No, it's clear and phlegmy!”

Ella narrowed her eyes on her best friend. “Lyss, did you take your blood pressure today?”

“I … umm no, I don’t like the machine.”

Ella let out a sigh. “You have to babe!”

Lyss’s bottom lip quivered. “I get scared my arm will explode.”

“Lyssa.”

The lip quiver always works with Drake. “… yes?”

“Your arm won’t explode.”

“If it malfunctions it could!”

Ella rubbed her hands over her face. “Alyssa!”

“In one of the Halloween movies, Michael Myers killed someone in the hospital by putting a BP cuff around their neck and pumping it until their head exploded!”

“What the fuck? Okay, no more Halloween movies for you!”

“But-”

“It’s not going to explode, Alyssa. You need to take your blood pressure. Do I have to hogtie you?”

“No ma’am, I’m taller than you!”

“By ½ an inch!”

Ella switched tactics. “If you don’t do this, I’m going to get Drake on you.”

Lyss giggled. “That’s hardly a punishment.”

Ella’s eye twitched and Alyssa held back a laugh.

After another 10 minutes, Alyssa finally agreed to only check her blood pressure if Ella did it for her and Drake had to hold her hand. Once the numbers were acceptable to Ella, Alyssa added to her terms. “Also, I want chicken noodle soup and those little soup crackers” - she sniffled - “and coffee.”

“Why not tea? That’s better I think,” Ella brushed some hair off of her best friend’s forehead.

“Coffee.”

“Cream isn’t a good idea for-”

Drake gave Ella a look.

“I mean … sure!”

“I’ll get started on that, baby,” Drake leaned over to kiss his girlfriend on top of her head. “Be right back.”

Ella waited until he closed the bedroom door behind him. “Lyssa.”

“Hmm?” She was already settled into the fluffy pillow and her eyes fluttered shut.

“Do you have a fever?” Not waiting for an answer, Ella leaned forward and felt Alyssa’s forehead with the back of her hand.

“Nu-uh,” Lyss mumbled and coughed.

“Lyss?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you want to put on some clothes?”

“Mmm, nope, I’m good naked.”

Ella chuckled. “Okay.”

She stood and left Lyss alone to rest. Ella wandered into the kitchen to find Liam and Drake as they stared into a large pot of broth.

“Is she asleep?” Drake asked while he stirred.

“Yep, she’s passed out,” Ella peered into the pot. “You need to add more onions.”

Drake tasted the broth again and shrugged. “Okay, more onions it is.”

Liam handed Drake the bowl of green onions. “So, what do you have planned for her birthday? Are you proposing yet?”

“I had planned to take her to the park and have a picnic,” Drake paused as he tasted the broth again from the ladle. “But seeing as how she’s not wanting to leave the bedroom, I might have to rethink my plan.”

“Hmmm,” Liam tapped his fingers over his mouth. “Why don’t you just have a picnic in the bedroom with her?”

“I guess,” Drake frowned. “That’s not very romantic.”

“You’re trying to be romantic, Walker?” Leo said as he walked into the kitchen with Maxwell with several bags from Nordstrom.

“Yeah, I am, if you must know.”

“I can help you out!” Leo’s wide grin made Drake narrow his eyes.

“What’s in it for you, Rys?”

“Oh, I just love helping my friends! Let me put all my stuff down in the bedroom, I’ll be right back.”

As soon as Leo was out of earshot, Drake hissed. “I don’t trust him!”

“I know,” Max replied. “It’s Leo we’re talking about. After he saw the movie Titanic he started the Billy Zane fan club.”

Ella stopped washing the dishes in the sink and turned. “Wait, what?!”

“Yeah,” Liam added. “Look it up, they’re called the Zaniacs.”

“Why does that make me angrier than anything he’s ever done?!”

Liam shrugged. “He also roots for Billy Zabka’s character in The Karate Kid.”

“Alright, guys! It’s romance time!” Leo announced as he came back to the kitchen.

Three days later

Leo, Maxwell, and Liam were busy setting up things for Drake and Alyssa’s outing at the beach.

“Why is Ella not helping us?” Maxwell huffed as he and Leo carried large boxes of twinkling lights.

“She’s here for Lyss, and to make sure Walker doesn’t sweat too much and get dehydrated,” Leo laughed as all three looked at Drake in the kitchen pacing back and forth.

“Fuck you guys,” his chocolate brown hair a mess after running his fingers through them more times than he can count. “I’m just … nervous.”

“Yeah, we can see that,“ Leo cackled as they walked out into the hallway and waited for the elevator.

“It’s going to work,” Liam reassured his best friend as he grabbed the guitar by the door and followed Max and Leo out.

“Drake, it’s going to be fine,” Ella put her hands on his shoulders to stop him from wandering around the kitchen; it was making her dizzy. “Liam is the King of Romance. Don’t listen to Leo, Alyssa is going to say yes.”

“How do you know that?” He began to babble and couldn’t stop himself. “What if this is too soon? What if she hates my singing? What if she says no?”

“You should be worried about whether she’ll get out of bed,” Ella looked towards the bedroom door.

“Oh my God, is she still in bed?!” He inhaled too quickly and began to cough.

“Okay, Walker, I was kidding. You know she adores you. She said ‘I love you’ first for crying out loud,” she gave him a concerned look. “Are you getting sick?”

“No, I don’t … get sick,” he sputtered as he continued to cough.

“Well you are pretty delicate, maybe you should slow down.”

He waved off her comment as his coughs began to dissipate. “I’m not delicate, I’m just” - he lowered his voice to a whisper yell - “proposing to my girlfriend and I don’t even know if she’s going to like this damn plan!”

Ella rolled her eyes. “Okay, so let’s just forget that you got sick watching Frozen.”

Drake glared. “No. I did not.”

“You also got a nosebleed watching Up,” she smirked.

“Oh my God, will you ever let that go?!”

Ella let out a chuckle. “Okay, fine then, why don’t you go and take a shower?”

“I already did,” Drake looked down at his sweat-stained shirt.

“Yeah, why don’t you go and take another one.”

He nodded. “Be right back.”

30 minutes later

“El! I need help!��

“Lyssa? What’s wrong?” Ella let herself into the bedroom Alyssa and Drake shared.

“My sinuses hurt and I dropped my dress and my book on the floor.”

“Okay?”

“Can you pick it up for me? It hurts to bend over.”

Ella hid a smile and bent to pick up Alyssa’s black dress and her book titled Remember Two Things. “I’ve been meaning to read this, how is it so far?”

“Oh it is so good,” Lyss put the book on her nightstand and pulled the dress over her head. “I’m at chapter 18 and these two have been in love since college-”

“No spoilers! I’m going to read it after you,” Ella found Lyss’ shoes under the bed and helped her put them on. “You take that medication I gave you?”

“The pill was too big.”

“Alyssa!”

“I’m kidding, yes, I took it,” she dimpled. “It was a gel capsule.”

Ella let out a sigh of relief. “Okay, good. You don’t need your sinuses to act up while you’re out.”

“Where is he taking me?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

Alyssa pouted. “No, I don’t.”

Drake appeared in the doorway with a brand new shirt that was miraculously dry. “Ready baby?”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” she stood and wrapped her arms around her best friend. “Thank you for helping me!”

Ella shooed the couple out the door and quickly called Liam to let them know they were on their way.

***

“Baby, why did you take another shower?” Alyssa eyed Drake’s damp hair.

“I … slipped in something Max spilled on the floor in the kitchen.” Fuck, I suck at lying.

“Oh,” Lyss chewed on her bottom lip and studied Drake’s side profile as he drove his truck through the streets of Los Angeles. “I was thinking … you’ve taken such good care of me while I’ve been whiny and sick and I wanted to thank you.”

“Of course, I care about you.”

“I love you, baby, I feel like we’re so good together.”

“We are, Lyss, I love you too,” he reached over and intertwined his fingers with hers.

Drake slowly pulled the truck into a parking spot and turned off the engine. “Come on, I have something I want to show you.”

Alyssa nodded. She hopped out of the car and took Drake’s outstretched hand as he led her into a walkway with arching shrubs above them. “What is this place?”

“It used to be a secret spot I went to when I was single,” he glanced down at her while she stared up at the greenery in awe. “I would just come down here to be alone.”

Suddenly, the archway lit up in thousands of little twinkling lights that illuminated their way down to the end of the walkway. “Oh my God,” Alyssa squealed. “I love this so much, it’s beautiful!” They came to the end of the lights and began to walk onto sand.

“Only a little bit further,” Drake mumbled as he took in the ocean, then focused his gaze on the large purple blanket that was sprawled out on the sand a few yards in front of them.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a little picnic the guys set up for us,” he gave Alyssa a nervous smile. “Are you hungry?”

“Yes! What’s for dinner?”

“Taco pizza and for dessert,” Drake excitedly climbed onto the blanket after removing his shoes. “S’mores brownie pie.”

“S’mores?!” Alyssa peeked into the large basket that held the pie. “Can we eat dessert first?”

Drake let out a loud laugh. “Whatever you want, baby it’s your birthday.”

Lyss opened the box where the taco pizza sat and she inhaled deeply. “Oh, no, we’re eating this first.” She grabbed a plate and separated two pieces, one for her, one for Drake.

“Thank you.”

They settled into a comfortable silence as they watched the waves cascade over the sand; the sun was slowly fading, disappearing behind the ocean, leaving its yellow-orange coloring over the blue hue of the water. Alyssa was sitting in between Drake’s legs, her back against his chest.

“This hit the spot,” she patted her stomach. “Taco pizza just like in Remember Two Things.”

“That’s where I got the idea from,” he kissed her on top of her head. “You told me how taco pizza sounded amazing and I had to get that for you.”

“You are amazing,” she leaned her head back and touched her lips to his. “Is that a guitar? Why didn’t I notice that before?”

Drake’s face turned a bright shade of red. “Uh, yeah, I had Liam bring his guitar out here.”

“Do you” - she pulled away from him and turned all the way around with widened eyes - “do you play guitar, baby?”

He nervously scratched the back of his neck. “I … Well, sort of. Liam taught me when we were teenagers.”

“That is so hot,” Lyss mumbled and she bit her bottom lip. “Will you play for me?”

Drake nodded. “Hopefully I’m not too rusty, it’s been years.”

“I know I will love it.”

Drake picked up the acoustic guitar behind him and began to tune it. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he went through each string and turned the knobs in turn. Alyssa watched as he dug into his jean pocket and pulled out a guitar pick. How is a man with a guitar so sexy?

“Here goes nothing.”

He strummed the guitar and smiled when it didn’t sound off-key. He took in a deep breath and began to sing.

Dancing in the dark, Middle of the night

Taking your heart, And holding it tight

Emotional touch, Touching my skin

And askin' you to do, What you've been doing

All over again

Alyssa was taken aback. She had no idea he played guitar or sang a note until today. Drake Walker singing country music just did something to her; not to mention the fact that she loved this song.

Oh, it's a beautiful thing, Don't think I can keep it all in

I just gotta let you know, What it is that won't let me go

She couldn’t stop herself, she started to sing along with him. It was a duet anyway.

It's your love, It just does something to me

It sends a shock right through me, I can't get enough

And if you wonder, About the spell I'm under

Oh it's your love

Their eyes were locked as they sang together. Alyssa harmonizing with him made his stomach do flip flops. He was a nervous wreck just thinking about singing and playing this damn guitar in front of her. But once she started to sing, he wanted to stop so he could hear her angelic voice instead of his rough one.

“Drake?”

Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize I stopped.”

“That was so beautiful,” Lyss’ eyes were full of unshed tears. “I had no idea you could sing, baby.”

“I’m sorry I stopped, I wanted to hear your voice instead of mine.”

“Come on, let’s keep going!”

“I … I wanted to ask you something first.”

“Okay, what’s up?”

He set the guitar down on the blanket next to him and reached into his other pocket. “Lyssa,” he pulled out a black velvet box but didn’t open his hand just yet. “I wanted to make your birthday special, and I was so fucking nervous because I didn’t know if you’d like all this.”

“Anything we do together I love, baby,” she grasped his free hand with both of hers. “Don’t ever think I won’t like something you plan for us.”

Drake nodded. “I love you and I chose that song because it’s your love that keeps me wanting to wake up every morning,” he opened his left hand and she saw the box in his hand.

“Is that …”

“Alyssa Devereaux,” Drake opened the ring box and there sat three round diamonds on a gold setting. “Will you marry me?”

The tears were falling and one hand was clamped over her mouth in shock. She was crying so hard and overwhelmed with so much emotion that she struggled to speak. “Y-yes, Drake, yes!”

Drake’s entire face lit up at her words; he slid the ring on her finger and leaned over to kiss her. “Do you have any idea how happy you’ve made me?”

Cheers erupted from behind some bushes behind them, and the couple turned in surprise. Leo, Maxwell, Liam, and Ella jumped out, all with their phone cameras pointed in Drake and Lyss’s direction.

Drake scowled. “What the fuck?”

“Guys!” Alyssa jumped up and waved her left hand in the air. “We’re engaged!” Ella pulled her in for a big hug and the two of them began jumping up and down.

“Nice going, Walker,” Leo smirked as he shoved the last piece of taco pizza in his mouth. “You still sing real pretty too, just like in middle school.”

“Fuck off, Rys,” Drake snarled.

“You did good, brother,” Liam stepped forward and pulled his best friend in for a manly hug.

Drake gave him a half-smile. “Thanks for setting this up, and for all your help, Li. I know Twiddle-Dumb and Twiddle-Dee didn’t help much.”

Liam shrugged. “They picked up your pizza and pie. Got one for themselves while we were waiting for you to pop the question.”

“Taco pizza is the bomb,” Maxwell announced with a mouth full of food. “You guys are engaged! When’s the wedding?!”

“We’re still on cloud nine from being engaged, Max,” Alyssa chuckled. “We’ll all plan it out when we’re ready.”

“All of them?” Drake asked incredulously as the gang began to clean up the picnic area. “All of them are helping us plan?”

“You’re stuck with us forever, gorgeous,” Leo called out to Lyss. “You sure that’s what you want?”

Alyssa looked over at her fiancé, who just so happened to look at her. “I am so sure.”

[stillgeekingout]

I always end up doing this like halfway through january but this time I got covid so I have an excuse lol. anyway reflections on 2021!

I recognize that 2021 was shitty for a lot of people but I was riding the high of how much better it was for me personally than 2020 so I actually had a decent year. for one thing ingrid was back (our first full year in the same country!), I got new plants to replace the ones that died while they were doing construction on my apt in 2020, I wasn’t alone in the house anymore, etc.

some stuff that happened in 2021:

-read a bunch of books at the beginning of the year bc I hadn’t been reading for a while and then kind of continuously read on and off throughout the year (special mention to one last stop!! and awtwb which I didn’t actually like as much as the first two but the end of the series was a significant thing)

-I did a few more months of yoga with adriene throughout the year, it wasn’t as much as I necessarily wanted to but I’m glad it’s something I keep periodically going back to

-played a lot of animal crossing cause we were late to that party

-baby’s first covid test (jan) and 2nd covid test (dec)

-spent the first few months of the year on a roommate hunt and then finally found our current roommate who is lovely

-s&s lived in *gasp* different apartments! 

-made a weird little experimental short film for orlando fringe which was mostly just me reading books on the roof of my parking garage while waiting for time lapse footage

-watched a whole bunch of tv shows (finished steven universe, owl house s2, gravity falls, hsmtmts, we are lady parts, rutherford falls, wwdits, ted lasso, only murders in the building, kevin can fuck himself, girls5eva, infinity train)

-VACCINES! got 1st & 2nd shots in the spring then booster in the fall which was such a peace of mind thing despite everything and made it so I could actually feel ok seeing people again

-ingrid & I got engaged in may & started wedding planning ahhhh

-wrote a TON of this story that I had been kinda working on for ages (yeah it’s the one I just mentioned having finished)

-fully into aly & aj, if you haven’t listened to their recent stuff you should

-taylor and her rerecordings can be on here I guess lol (so can new bleachers album I guess. tried to see them in concert but it got cancelled for- shocker- covid reasons)

-since I mentioned tv & books, my favorite movies this year were prob raya, luca, encanto, and mitchells vs the machines lol I’m still a sucker for animation

-prob shouldn’t say this bc uh they follow me but I doubt they’ll see this so: my parasocial relationship w a certain person is always probably teetering on the edge of delusion that someday we’re gonna be friends (anyway read reputation lol) (if they do see this I’m sorry)

-speaking of parasocial relationships there are several babies and small children of people either I/ingrid/sarah know who I’m obsessed with and watched grow over the course of the year on social media

-related, there is a baby who lives close enough to me that I should’ve been able to see him a lot and have a relationship with him but covid/work/poor communication made everything complicated and it was a rough time for me about it for a minute there

-ingrid and I went to new orleans and stayed in a very cute airbnb and ate beignets and looked at art and went to parks

-my mom threw a MASSIVE party in july for my grandma’s 80th bday which was probably irresponsible but at the time the numbers were low and we were all vaxxed, anyway I got to see a ton of people I hadn’t in a while 

-my dad had open heart surgery (he’s ok but it was a time)

-one of my sisters was our neighbor for the summer and now my other sister is our neighbor (also ingrid and sarah are finally friends which makes me happyyy)

-speaking of ingrid and sarah the three of us briefly revived my silly rp forum site from when I was like 14-15 lmao

-spent a long miserable time at my shitty horrible job and then FINALLY quit at the end of the summer

-got to be unemployed & just chill for the month of september, took a lot of walks downtown

-my high school 10 year reunion happened lol but I didn’t go because it looked like a hot mess

-tried in vain to get hired as an advisor at several universities/colleges near me… which was frustrating bc especially for international stuff I’m very qualified… stay tuned if that ever happens

-started working at a plant store in october! it’s been a fun time so far, my coworkers are mostly chill and my boss is a little annoying but not actively evil like my previous boss so I count it as a win. also I’m learning so much about plants & fueling my plant addiction

-related, I started a garden on our balcony in december and so far it’s doing ok!

-I mentioned getting engaged but oh my god so many of my friends got engaged

-so much of this year was just wedding planning lol

-I got ingrid to play age of mythology aka the game I was obsessed with in middle school and haven’t shut up about since muahaha

-played dnd with my sisters a couple times which was a fun and crazy time

-my mom finally got the christmas she’s been trying to have since my parents moved onto a boat, aka my parents got an airbnb and my mom got to have family around throughout the holidays

that’s pretty much it, I think! the covid depression is still real and hits from time to time, I don’t make enough money and I’m very uncertain about my ~career future~, but overall I can’t complain too much. I’m looking forward to ‘22 if for no other reason than I’m getting married this year! Also I have made the executive decision that we’re calling it 22 bc 2022 is too much of a mouthful when you say it out loud!

thank u for joining me on this recap of my year, if you did. peace & love lol