#sasuhina month 2021 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dianapana · 4 years ago

Text

SH Day 12- ANBU Black Ops

@sasuhinamonth

たえる Part 2 (taeru=to endure)

Part 1

Rated M, Ninja Universe that underwent some changes (you’ll see that I use major events in the canon world but there is a lot of history that’s altered), OOC (major OOC for Hinata especially)

Warning: self-harm, mental health, sexual harassment, trauma

Hello, dears, I play quite a bit with chronology in this chapter, I hope it's all easy to understand. I made moth things be during summer so around the time of the girl SH month which is why in all the cases you'll see Sasuke is 1year older than Hina, since his bday is in July and hers in December. I hope you enjoy, ~Love Dia

Sasuke, age 23

I think it’s fair for me to say that I’ve been through a lot, not many things shake me anymore and all the things that have made me worried in the past years have had something in common, they were all somehow related to Hinata. I remember when I woke up after the war, I was chained to a hospital bed, placed under a jutsu that blocked my chakra, I was missing a limb and I was on the verge of insanity once more. The only thing that calmed me down was her image. Even without my chakra I searched for hers. She too was in the hospital; I found her signature light purple chakra but it was so faint and small I almost missed it. Seeing her like that made me crazy with worry, once everyone left my room, I broke all the chains and dragged myself to her room despite the pain. I hadn’t thought of her as fragile since our reunion when she was 15. I could barely stand to see her that way, and even if I wanted to stay and watch over her for longer, I could feel Naruto’s chakra getting closer, which meant I had to leave. For the following weeks I could only go and see her late at night, for there was always someone in her room, Naruto, her father, her sister, some sort of nurse or medic. I recovered under a month, yet I stayed until she woke up.

I was the only one in the room when her eyes opened, she looked confused and for a moment I was sure she had amnesia and would not remember me, us. But for the briefest moment her eyes rested upon my figure and recognition was there, relief was there, gratitude, affection and many other nuances that I can never seem to read or fully comprehend reflected in her eyes. I took her hand and kissed the back of it, allowing myself a small selfish gesture before leaving the room to inform the medics she woke up. Sakura gave me a strange, questioning look when I told her Hinata had woken up, but I didn’t care about subtlety at that second, I just wanted them to check her for any issues, I wanted her to be physically fine.

She didn’t have many memories of the war when she was first questioned, but they came back in waves and waves. I could tell that the questions overwhelmed her, much like the people that littered around, there were over 10 visitors in her tiny hospital room, from her father to Naruto, Kiba and many others. I just watched the whole situation from outside her window. I noticed her looking around, searching for someone that wasn’t there. No, it wasn’t me, she knew I wouldn’t be there when other people were, I knew exactly who she was searching for, that’s why I wanted to be close by. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, I knew things would take a turn for the worse soon enough. I saw it, the exact moment the fog raised off of her memories, the moment in which reality hit her, the moment in which the remaining light in her eyes died.

She asked for Neji, Naruto cringed, her father was the one to inform her of his passing. She asked when the funeral was going to be and silence fell onto the room. Sakura tried to slowly explain that the war ended two months ago and all the dead were already long buried. Hinata cried, she cried for her fallen cousin, she cried for missing his funeral, she cried for herself. They all gave her hugs and condolences, they reassured her that none of that was her fault. They all expected her to mourn and soon enough bounce back to the façade she always kept around the people in the village. They were unaware of the emotional depth her sadness could reach. I knew their expectations would never be met, I could tell that the headspace she was in was similar to the night I found her on the forest floor, she had the same look in her eyes as when she constantly begged me to let her die. Knowing all of that, I expected her to make certain choices, yet, despite knowing what was to come, I was unable to help, there wasn’t a single moment in which she was alone for a week to come. And when it all happened, I panicked at the notion of her death and responded wrongly to her actions.

I wasn’t watching her when she attempted to kill herself, I was with Tsunade who kept insisting that I accept their fake arm. I was in the midst of refusing once more, when I could feel a commotion in her room, I left without a word and ran there. The image that was in front of me wasn’t surprising but it was just as heart-breaking. Hinata’s bed was covered in blood, her left wrist was being treated by Sakura but you could still see the long and slim-cut along her wrist, Naruto was holding her other arm trying to put pressure on her wrist to stop the bleeding. It scared me, the amount of blood on herself and the bed, her light-headedness and indifference indicated that she had been bleeding for a long time. She waited for a moment in which I wasn’t there either, she wanted to escape me too. Had Naruto and Sakura been late they might have found her corpse instead. I left the room to calm myself down, I couldn’t cause a commotion. I tried my best to come up with kind and comforting words to tell her later when I would return to her room, but when I did, the image that greeted me, her arms strapped to the bed, made me lose my composure. I screamed at her, I can’t even recall what I said but I know it was very inappropriate, she laughed, she cried. Trying to comfort her with only one arm was difficult, that was the very first moment when I even considered accepting Tsunade’s offer, but in the end I didn’t. I spent every night that followed with her, after the initial shock I was able to recall the words I meant to give her, I knew they weren’t going to miraculously fix everything but I felt that she needed them nonetheless.

She apologized for considering that path and acting on her thoughts. I undid her chains and pulled her to my lap as she talked. “The moment my eyes moved past Naruto’s shoulders and I saw you in the door frame I regretted my choice, I wished I could undo it if only to never have to see that look on your face” I placed my face into her hair and just breathed her in. “I think I understand a little better now…what you felt when Itachi died, when you found out the truth. Our situations aren’t the same but I remember how…” she stopped, searching for the perfect word.

“Crazy? Unhinged? Mad?” I provided, but she frowned and shook her head.

“No, no, none of those…how anguished, sorrowful, wretched you were at the time. You come to me in a very agitated state, I was scared and concerned but couldn’t grasp that feeling. Now I do” If I’m honest I don’t remember how felt at the time, I don’t remember many things about that period of my life, all I know is that I wanted to give up, I thought I had made only wrong choices in my life, but I saw her and I remembered that even I could save someone.

After a few more nights she assured me that she was now mentally stable, her sadness was still very much present, but she had not had any self-harming thoughts. The decision to leave the village was very difficult at the time, but Hinata assured me that she enjoyed our routine and wished to continue it. I left but our correspondence was much more frequent than before the war, I would write her every other day and she’d reply as soon as my messages reached her. It took a bit over 3 months for her to resume her work as an ANBU, and a bit over 8 months in total to convince Kakashi to promote her to ANBU Black Ops. Her missions became more difficult and longer, she even had a mission in Amegakure that lasted half a year. When she first sent me the message informing me of the location of her mission it reminded me of our first encounter after I left the village. Our encounter that summer isn’t a memory I think of fondly, I was cruel, I was insane, I abused my knowledge of her trauma. Whenever I remember my actions, I want to go back and rewind the time, I want to apologize to 15-year-old Hinata, she was meek and fragile and I broke a part of her. She was doing her best to survive and to keep going and I was a huge obstacle in her recovery. When my feelings for her started changing I was always self-conscious whether they were genuine or not, wasn’t I using her? Wasn’t I just feeling guilty?

Hinata, age 15

I am nervous as I pack my bag for this mission, it is my first solo mission ever. 6 months after I became a Jonin and Tsunade finally trusts me enough to allow me to go alone in a mission. The destination is Amegakure and the mission is supposed to last for about to 3 weeks. The difficulty level of the mission is only B which I’d be pretty annoyed at, but the distance factor and the solo factor make up for it so, I am equally nervous and excited. When I told Neji about the mission he was concerned but didn’t show it much for my sake. Instead, he congratulated me and we had a small picnic in the outer skirt of the Hyuuga estate as celebration.

Now I am looking through my dresser for appropriate clothes for the rain to pack, I have to look for another set of kunais just in case and prepare myself a couple of bentos to have on hand. Slowly, the closer the night before my departure gets the less anxious I am, excitement seems to be the winning sentiment.

The morning of, I wake up at 4:30 a.m. and am unable to sleep longer. By the time I am fully dressed and ready to go it’s only 5:00 a.m. and the sun is barely raising, but I decide that it is light enough outside for me to leave. As always whenever I pass through the forest there’s a chill going through my veins and my enthusiasm is a bit dampened, I actively try and avoid that specific place even if it means it will add to the journey time. On the schedule, Tsunade gave me I’m meant to spend 8 days on the road to the village, approximately 4 or 5 days into the village and 8 more days back.

The mission itself isn’t supposed to be that difficult all I need to do is meet with different people in the village give them the scrolls Tsunade gave me and wait for their replies. All in all, there should be no fighting, I’m mostly a messenger but the large amount of people that need contacting made it impossible for a summon raven to deliver the scrolls. My adrenaline rush of being on my own, experiencing what freedom feels like made me speed up during the journey, I took less stops and didn’t even spend the night in one of the Inns I was supposed to. Thus, not only did I depart earlier than planned but I arrived into the village almost a day and a half ahead of the schedule. Since it’s still barely past noon I decide to start the mission a day early and I am able to cover a fifth of the task on the first day.

People usually when talking about Amegakure call it gloomy and depressing, but I enjoy walking around in the rain, the temperature isn’t too high despite it being the middle of a heatwave everywhere else, the smell and sounds of rain also add to its charm. The Inn I’m supposed to stay at for the duration of my mission is on the outside of the village, it is away from the noise of the centre, but not far out enough to say it isn’t part of the village at all. Walking into my room I sit down and finally grasp that I am days away from Konoha, I am alone. The realization makes me emotional; I hadn’t realized how much I needed to be on my own, how good it would feel to put distance between me and everything that Konoha entailed.

Sitting alone in the dark, only with the occasional lightning brightening up my room, I make a decision, I promise myself to only ever come on solo missions. I’ve endured years of discomfort so I deserved to feel this way, if only during missions. I take a shower and go to bed, I’m not as physically tired as I thought I would be after the journey and that worries me. I don’t want the nightmare to come and ruin my mood, but I close my eyes nonetheless.

It feels like barely a second passed when I open my eyes and see the cool light coming from outside. The sun is hidden behind the clouds of rain, but its light still pushes through to an extent. I had no dreams, no nightmares. I rested well and I feel better than I did in many years. I walk barefoot onto the cold wooden floor and I open the window, not caring that the rain is getting both me and the floor wet. I close my eyes and feel immensely liberated, the heavy chains that dragged me down at all times disappeared. Nobody here knows me and I don’t know them, I am but a face in the crowd, this anonymity offers me the independence I never knew before.

I complete the mission in under 3 days. I feel faster, stronger, happier here. It feels like I can do anything and everything. I have about 3 days I can waste in the village, under normal circumstances I’d return immediately to Konoha to get another mission and the cycle would repeat. But I decide to stay here for a while longer, I want to enjoy this feeling to the best of my ability. The day right after completing the mission I simply stay inside and sleep almost the whole day. I’m recharging my batteries which have been on low for 3 years now. I forgot what being well-rested felt like.

The following day I decide to wander around some more. The mission had me walk all over the village’s centre so, I decide to check out its outskirt more. I go and eat delicious food at a small booth owned by an older couple. Due to its relatively small scale Amegakure’s buildings are much much higher than those from Konoha so I climb on top of one that I deem to be among the highest and sit there, in the rain just watching the busy streets, looking over all the sky-high buildings and enjoying the feeling of being unrestrained by people’s gazes and expectations. For the smallest second, I feel someone’s gaze on me but I discard it as being the locals looking at the strange outsider that’s standing in the rain. I refuse to let my mood be dampened, not when I am just as high as this building is.

I return to the Inn and decide to take a shower, tomorrow is going to be my last day here and I feel like time is moving far too fast. I’m rinsing my hair when I get the same feeling as before, like someone is watching me. Before I can dismiss it again, I hear steps behind me, my mind goes blank. I’m suddenly turned around by a powerful hand, before closing my eyes I see a pair of black dead, unfeeling, cold, cruel, scary, scary, scary, scary eyes. I close my eyes and clench my jaw; I can feel tears trailing down my face. I’m hyperventilating, I can’t move, I’m weak, I’m small. I whimper when I feel his hand touching the scar right above my pelvis. The touch transports me back to when I’m 12 and on the ground, my legs no longer support me, the only reason why I’m still standing is because the man is holding my arm in an iron grip. The moment passes and his hand is gone allowing me to fall to my knees and then onto my butt. I have no idea how long I stay there in a trance. When I’m finally able to regain strength in my limbs to feel and make small movements I notice the shower water is freezing cold despite it being set to warm. I turn it off and walk into the room, there’s no trace of the man anymore, he didn’t do anything beyond touching my arm and my scar. Maybe he was simply created by my brain, yea no one was here, how could they be, why would they be.

I can feel myself slipping into hysteria as laughter bubbles up into my throat. I look around the room again searching for proof again and I sigh in relief when I find none. I’m finally calm enough to get dressed but I make the mistake of looking in the mirror. There’s a handprint on my arm where he gripped me. The print is red and turning a weird purple colour in places and yellow in others. He was here. He was real. I take small breaths in order to calm myself, I am fine, I am here, I can’t even picture the face of the man that was here, I try to force myself to forget the handprint, it was just a dream, another nightmare.

I pack my things and leave that very night despite being tired physically, mentally and emotionally. I don’t want to return to Konoha, and I can’t stay here, I don’t know where to go. The freedom I felt before gave me an amazing sense of accomplishment, but now it is a source of unease. I feel lost and like I do not belong anywhere. I feel insignificant. I feel lonely. I close my eyes and just sit on the floor outside of the village, waiting for something or someone to come get me. But nothing happens and the weather is turning cold despite the summer so I pick myself up and start walking wherever the road will take me.

I don’t remember the journey back home, I can’t even tell in how many days I completed it, I didn’t stop at all, I just ran. I ran from the man, the past, I ran from my weak self. I thought myself to be strong now that I am a Jonin, but I froze and was unable to do anything all the same. I need to be more than I am, I need to be stronger, braver, untouchable, more perceptive.

I hate myself for hesitating to enter the Konoha, I hate myself for hesitating to take on a new mission when Tsunade offers it. I hate myself when I have to walk through the halls of the Hyuuga compound, I hate myself when I hide from Neji. I hate myself when I walk into my room and burst into tears. I hate myself for getting my hope that high in Ame only to have them all crash and burn. I hate that I feel more broken today than I did 3 weeks ago.

Sasuke, age 16

I’ve been in a weird mood since a week ago when I saw Hyuuga in the Village Hidden in Rain. I hadn’t heard or seen anything related to Konoha since I left during the Chunnin exam. She was my first contact with it. Hinata Hyuuga, I remember her name clearly, she holds a special meaning to me, she is a life I saved. I saved her back before I was caught up in any business with Orochimaru, when I still thought following Kakashi was the right path to take, back when I was stupid and naïve. I hadn’t thought of her since that moment, but when my eyes fell onto her, I felt proud that she survived, but I also felt the need, the urge to utterly crush her beneath my feet. Her life belongs to me; I saved her so, I have every right to destroy her.

I could tell she was uncomfortable with me there, I felt her flinch as I traced the scar above her pelvis, I heard her whimper when I turned around, and I saw from the corner of my eye, as her legs have in and she fell to the floor. She looked small and pathetic and I felt strong in comparison.

However, now, days later I feel…guilt. I feel as if I used something against her that I shouldn’t have. At the time her image was blurry and not something I paid attention to, but I can clearly see it now whenever I close my eyes. He white skin had almost no imperfections besides the three scars, her eyes were shut tight, her face was red and wet, at the time I gloated at the thought that the water droplets were tears, now I’m hoping they were from the shower. Her long dark hair was wet and clinging to her body. She did her best to hide from me with her hands, with her position slightly bent. She was helpless, she didn’t even try to stop me, she didn’t scream or fight back, she froze in place and allowed me to do whatever I wanted. At the time that too made me feel powerful, I deluded myself into thinking that my presence as Sasuke Uchiha made her cower in fear. Now that I am analysing things once more, I realize it was her trauma that rendered her powerless, it was my presence that caused her fear, but she wasn’t scared of me, Sasuke, but rather of me, a male; she didn’t see me as an individual but as the image of the man that hurt her in the past.

Realizing that in her mind I was equal to that disgusting piece of trash makes me livid. I clench my jaw, pick up the first thing I see, a jar of whatever substance from one of Orochimaru’s labs and I throw it to the wall. The green liquid escapes its container and slowly eats away at the wall and ground, the sizzling noise and putrid smell don’t even bother me. I’m angry at her, I want to find her and scream in her face that I’m not that man. I wanna shake her until she understands. I am mad at her, at myself. Kabuto comes in and curses, he drags me out and talks under his breath, his presence adds to my anger.

“What do you want?” I ask him, I’m looking down at him. I grew taller these past few weeks, taller than him. I want him to pick a fight, I want a reason to smash his face in. The image of his bloody face as he lays unconscious on the ground would bring me the satisfaction I need. He looks mockingly at me, that’s enough to start a fight.

Less than 20 minutes later the fight is over, he’s not unconscious, he’s still standing, more precisely, walking away. But he is bleeding and so am I. The fight didn’t help. I still feel angry, but my anger is slowly being overshadowed by guilt.

The sudden urge to find her and apologize overcomes me, but I dismiss it. She’s long gone…I checked. The two of us won’t meet anytime soon and even if we do, I’ll never apologize, not to her, not to someone that…weak…

Hinata age 22

After sleeping in until 11 after all, I wake up to Sasuke’s face next to mine, I feel at ease, I feel happy. I cup his face and place a kiss over his closed eyelids. I feel his change in breath when he wakes up but his eyes remain closed. His arm comes around my waist and pulls me closer to him, slowly he opens his eyes and offers me a lazy smirk. For a while I forget that we’re in Konoha, I forget everything about people trying to control me. All my worries just disappear with his presence.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks and brushes my bangs out of my eyes. ‘You’ I want to say, but I decide to be selfish instead. I sit up and he does too, I move towards him and place myself on his lap, we are chest to chest, face-to-face. “I am unsure how long they’ll make me stay here. This... sensei job…they could stretch it for months, who knows.” I hate that that’s true, I hate that they’re trying to cage me into the village. “it’s difficult being here for an indefinite period of time, especially since I don’t have out missions to look forward to. So…” I stop talking, rethinking what I’m about to ask, wondering if it’s worth it, but he looks at me with no judgement, he’s waiting patiently. “So…I was thinking. Maybe being here in Konoha would be better…if you were here as well” Part of me initially regrets the words and wants to take them back.

“You want me to stay here until you can go back to your normal missions” he didn’t formulate it as a question so I didn’t reply, mostly because I didn’t trust myself not to say no, to act like it was a joke, so I stay silent. “Ok, I will” his hand is on my wrist and it’s slowly moving up under my tank top. “You should already know that anything you ask of me, I’ll do Hinata” I do know that, but this was something that I had been afraid to ask for a while. Would staying in Konoha be better with him here? It must be.

We talk some more about his stay in Konoha and then proceed to eat a late breakfast. “I passed by the cottage outside of Amegakure on my way to Konoha” that cottage will forever represent my safe space, all my memories in it are out-of-this-world happy. The cottage itself is pretty much outside every territory of every village, it belongs to nobody, yet that’s the place I feel I belong in. I stayed there for my thirst or fourth mission as an ANBU, as usual Sasuke met up with me and we live together there for months. Sasuke and I worked together for most of my missions, we completed them faster than it was estimated they would take and we spent the remaining of the time just being together outside of all the rules of everyone. That was the place in which after much deliberation and inner-fights I decided to put my trust in him. By then we had already expressed our feelings verbally and with actions such as kisses and hugs, but I wanted to move past that because I craved that closeness with someone, I wanted a stronger bond between us, but also out of spite, I wanted to prove that I was able to enjoy sex. I wanted to prove that what had happened no longer affected me. Out first time was a bit awkward, we were both virgins, Sasuke was overly conscious of making me feel comfortable and I just wanted it to be done with so our desired speed didn’t match, but it happened and it was fine. The second and third time around it was much better and now we reached a point in which intimacy with him doesn’t scare me in the least, I love it and it makes me feel amazing. I am aware that I’m not fully over the incident, the close proximity of strange men that I don’t know still bothers me at times, however, I am much stronger and able to protect myself, I am just...wary.

I end my train of thoughts by going back to the memory of our first time and it makes me giggle a little. Sasuke asks me with his eyes what I’m laughing about and my reply is only a smirk, I see the wheels spinning in his brain and the connections being made. I love that after so many years we’re able to just understand each other in this manner. He gets up from his chair and walks around the table to place his hand on the nape of my neck. “I can show you how much I’ve improved since than” he whispers and bends down to kiss me. I smile against his lips and loop my arms around his neck allowing him to pick me up.

I must have fallen asleep again because I am woken up this time by Naruto loudly knocking on my door. He left me alone yesterday because Sasuke was around but I guess even his long-lost best friend can’t keep his attention off of me for more than 24 hours. I look next to me and my heart hurts because Sasuke isn’t there. I tell myself it’s because he felt Naruto so he left, but I still don’t like that.

Naruto keep knocking on the door and I’m sure he’s about to tear it down if I don’t open it soon so I walk to it in my pjs with my hair a mess. When I open the door, he stops in his tracks. “Oh…” his eyes linger onto the scar on my shoulder, he has an obsession with it I’ve noticed. Does he believe that’s my biggest scar…if only he knew. “I didn’t know you were sleeping, I’m sorry”

“After yesterday’s mission the kids have the day off so I wanted to rest” I don’t assure him that it is ok even though I know that’s the polite thing to do. I am bitter and annoyed that Sasuke isn’t there. For a split moment when I woke up, I thought I had imagined his presence.

“I just wanted to bring these to you.” He says and presents me with a pile of papers. “I know you were given them before when Kakashi assigned you as their sensei” hah, like it was Kakashi’s idea. Hokage-sama wouldn’t have pushed me into being a sensei from a Black Ops and we all know that. I know Naruto pulled all of the strings to get me here, however, Kakashi-san is also to blame for allowing all of this to happen “but I think you should really read them well, you said you have a free day today. I can stay here with you and read them together”

I look at him and his easy-going smile. On normal days I’d try and be nice, but all I want to do today is spend my time in peace. “I heard Uchiha-san is back. Are you sure you want to spend the day with me reading about some kids rather than catch up with him?” I feel sorry for guiding Naruto towards Sasuke, but I know Sasuke and if he’s one thing, he’s good at not being found.

Upon hearing Sasuke’s name Naruto’s smile brightened to the extent that it actually hurt my eyes. “I already saw and talked to him today” He left before Naruto came here, was it before we ate? After? When did they meet? “We talked and agreed to go on a mission together this week” He’s leaving after I asked him to stay “We went to Kakashi and already got all the info, so I’ll spend a lot of time together with him and find out all about what he’s been up to in these years and I ---” Naruto keeps talking but I feel suffocated.

#sasuhina #sasuhina month #sasuhina month 2021 #sa survivor #sasuhinamonth2021 #shmonth #shmonth2021 #shino #hinata #susake uchiha #hinata hyuuga #uchiha #hyuuga #sasuhina facfic #fanfic #fanfiction #dia story #diawrites

40 notes · View notes

shinobisdelombre · 4 years ago

Text

Sasuhina month 2021 Day 10: Genderbent situation

I love this prompt !! 🤗💕 Sweet and gentle Hinata with possessive firegirl Sasuke !

#sasuhina month 2021 #sasuhina month #sasuhina #hinasasu #hinata hyuga #sasuke uchiha #high school #high school au #naruto #genderbend #genderbent #genderbending

484 notes · View notes

dianapana · 4 years ago

Text

SH Day 10- The O-bon Festival

@sasuhinamonth

Rated T, OOC

I looked a little bit into this festival and from my understanding, it's somewhat similar to the day of the death from my country, hopefully, it's somewhat oki. I hope you enjoy ~Love, Dia

There’s a saying my grandma used to repeat “You’ll find comfort in the strangest of places” it was a saying that I had forgotten about, until this very moment. The years after the war made me hate the O-bon Festival and what it signifies, I stopped going where all the dances happen and where the food is prepared in the village centre. I participated only by spending the whole night in the cemetery. The festival is meant to celebrate the dead, remember their lives and legacies, but for me, the festival wasn’t a celebration, all I could think about was the death of the people I loved, I mourned their passing more than I enjoyed the memories I had of them. I still refuse to join in the dances, but now holding his hand helps ground me, helps me remember that this is a festival meant to honour the dead, it is about them and not about my own pain, I can’t keep wallowing in despair aimlessly forever.

“Are you ready?” Sasuke looks down at me, his face may look expressionless to others but I could see gentleness in his eyes, I could hear softness in his voice and I could feel his support in his steady grip of my hand. I push open the cemetery door and we make our way slowly to where the ‘big’ clans have reserved places of rest. This is where we met three years ago, I was on the ground crying in front of Neji’s grave, feeling just as much sadness as I did at his funeral, Sasuke was a standing statue in front of Itachi’s grave, unable to move, having no idea how to properly ask for forgiveness, how to honour him. During the festival’s ending fireworks, we both looked at the sky, looking at the colours that danced into the dark sky, listening to the loud booms of the explosions, and when they ended, the cemetery felt darker than before, the silence was loud enough to drive one mad. That’s the moment when I looked around me, maybe hoping to find another lonely figure, and I found him, already looking at me. I watched as he slowly walked to where I was.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he said in a low voice and placed his hand onto my shoulder. His touch made me feel better and worse at the same time. I was glad not to be the only one there, but he also opened the gate of my sadness and all the pain I thought I locked up came rushing out. My silent cries turned into loud sobs that I wasn’t able to contain, sobs that made it hard to breathe, made my stomach hurt and made me dizzy. After a few moments in which he only watched while having his hand on my shoulder, Sasuke lowered himself to the ground, pulled my body to his in such a way that my face was on his shoulder, not caring that my tears would wet his shirt. He allowed me to cry for as long as I wanted and only rubbed my back from time to time.

When I finished crying, he helped me up and with an expression filled with pain thanked me. He said I had cried enough for the both of us, that I had mourned his brother too in ways he was unable to. As fast as he appeared he disappeared too. I had not seen him for a full year until the following O-bon festival. Much like before, we were the only ones in the cemetery, but this time we weren’t strangers linked by coincidence, a connection was formed between us regardless of our lack of contact. We mourned in different manners, I cried and he stood still looking as if he was suffering greatly. After the fireworks, we started talking reminiscing our most prized memories with our older brothers, the talk changed to our mothers which we found to be similar, I listened as he told me about many of his deceased relatives and this time, I was the one holding him in a hug. When the sun rose that night, we went our separate ways once again for a year.

Three weeks before last year’s O-bon festival I received a massager crow from Sasuke asking whether I was able to house him in the village for the week of the festival. He wanted to restore some of the graves, plant some flowers maybe and all in all, take better care of everyone in his clan. I sent him an immediate reply that he was welcome to come whenever he chose and to stay for as long as he wanted. When he turned up at my door 3 days later, I offered to help him with the graves and we worked slowly and in silence, having finished with his clan we moved on to the graves belonging to the Hyuugas. Each day we’d work together, each night we’d go back to my apartment to eat dinner together and sleep in different futons, yet in the same room. This went on for almost two weeks until the festival, thus went it was time for Sasuke to go, the separation was much more difficult. I had grown used to being in his presence and the first few days after his leaving I found myself preparing two cups of tea, arranging two futons. A week passed and I received a message from him which brought immense joy, I replied and got a reply back a few days later. Our communication went on for a year uninterrupted, so when Sasuke showed up at my door two weeks before the festival my heart sped up. I had almost forgotten he was a real human being and not a simple idea I created with who I exchanged messages. I hugged him close just enjoying his presence once again.

We spent this past two weeks together, feeling as if that is our normal, I had feared that I would need time to accommodate to him being here just as much as I needed when he suddenly left, but that wasn’t the case at all. The only thing I was conscious about was my own feelings, the way my skin would flare red and heat up whenever he was close, how my eyes would follow him around, how my heart sped up with each little bump of the hand.

Even at this moment, when we are walking hand in hand through the cemetery, I can’t help my body’s reaction to his touch. I know I’m selfish, because I should focus on the dead and honour them, but all I can think about is the fact that once the sun rises, he will be gone for another year. I’m not sure I will be able to survive another separation. When we reach Neji’s grave and he lets go of my hand to brush the side of my cheek and move some of the hair that was in my face, the tears that start to fall aren’t for my cousin, however disgusting this makes me be, I am crying from the fear of him leaving, I want to ask him to stay but I don’t know how, and I don’t know how I’d feel if he refused. He’s holding me close, yet I weep for his imminent departure.

#sasuhina #sasuhina month #sasuhina month 2021 #sasuhinamonth #sasuhinamonth2021 #shmonth #shmonth2021 #sasuke #hinata #susake uchiha #hinata hyuuga #uchiha #hyuuga #dia story #diawrites #sasuhina fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction

32 notes · View notes

shinobisdelombre · 4 years ago

Text

Sasuhina month 2021 Day 10: Genderbent situations

@narutoevents @sasuhinamonth

#sasuhina month 2021 #sasuhina month #sasuhina #hinasasu #hinata hyuga #sasuke uchiha #high school #high school au #naruto

323 notes · View notes

hitory--chan · 4 years ago

Text

Day 3: Addicted To Your Touch

AO3 - Fanfiction - Wattpad

(Ranked M)

Title: The mistake of habit

It began as a mistake, then became a habit.

The generally clumsy fingers moved over him with a mastery most unknown, lighting the fire wherever it touched.

And he just wanted more of her, yearning for the contact that had been denied him during the month that he hadn't seen her.

His own hands ran down her legs, wrapping them around his waist ensured her not to slide against the wall where her back leaned.

The contact with the cloth of her dress drove him mad, wanting nothing more than to tear the damn garment that prevented him from seeing and touching her as it should be, but he knew it was necessary for him to keep composure if he didn´t wanted them to be discovered.

Instead, he concentrated on their joined lips that safeguarded them from being discovered by the symphony of moans and grunts that desperately came out of them, ending up being trapped inside the other's mouth.

Their hips met in a well-timed swing of movements where, when he came down, she rose over him until she dropped as Sasuke plunged into her.

"Hinata," he moaned her name at the first opportunity he could, when they opened a small gap between them to finally breathe “Please, please… stay with me” he begged her, desperate when the tingling in his groin increased with each passing second.

But she, as always, broke his heart when she silenced him again with a kiss at the same time that she shook her head to the request that had already become a constant between their intimate moments.

The fury and dismay her refusal provoked in him only fueled the union between their sexes to become rougher, more erratic, until they both stiffened before they withered from the abrupt release of pleasure.

A few minutes passed before he finally allowed her legs to release him so that she, still weakened and shaky, could stand up, putting on the panties that had remained dangling on her fingertips as they devoured each other.

And the moment came when he had to look away, because his heart could not resist seeing how she took from the sink the jewels that decorated her fingers, neck and ears, leaving for last the most important piece of all.

It only took a few seconds for the sound of the door opening and closing to be heard in the infinity of that luxurious bathroom that had witnessed the impure acts that both had committed.

He walked over to the same sink and turned on the faucet, wetting his face in search of relief even in the slightest way, looking at his own eyes in the mirror in front of him as the tiny drops slid from his forehead, onto his cheeks and finally they fell to the white ceramic.

He waited several minutes to fully recover, feeling destroyed in more ways than one.

He took the small towel that hung next to him and dried his hands and face, took his jacket, which had been resting on the toilet tank and fixed his bow tie, finally ready to leave that space that was beginning to oppress him. .

He left without shame or guilt, without looking sideways for anyone who saw both of them leaving the same bathroom and giving them away, actually wishing that was exactly what happened, but that empty corridor on the second floor only reminded him that the stairs had been off limits to the guests at that party, with only a few allowed to use them, just as he and she had done.

He was greeted by the sound of various chats, nothing noisy like what anyone would expect from the host, but which was totally in keeping with the occasion at hand.

With his eyes fixed on the exit, he began to walk to leave as quickly as possible, hoping not to attract attention with his abrupt departure.

“Sasuke!”

But like everything he tried that night, he failed.

Shoulders stiff with tension, he slowly turned around, facing the man who called out to him with his shrill voice.

From across the room, Naruto approached him at a moderate step, completely different from how he usually would walk, adapting to the speed of the person next to him.

“Where are you going? The party is not over yet!”

He didn't respond immediately, staring into the blue eyes of his friend before turning to the ivory ones of his mate.

"I'm sorry, I have to go" he looked at Naruto again, it being easier to look at his rough expression than Hinata's slightly frown "Something came up in the company, they called me… urgently" he excused himself with a lie, hoping that at least Naruto could be fooled with his words.

"That sucks," the blond complained, although his tone denoted understanding.

Naruto walked over, hugging him.

"We'll still meet tomorrow, right?"

Sasuke hugged him too, a little stiffer than at first.

"Of course, you idiot" he replied, his eyes still fixed on Hinata, trying not to slide his gaze down into the ring proudly shone on her left hand. "I can't let you ruin your wedding with your stupid ideas, right?"

"Great" the hug ended and Naruto slid back next to his fiancée "I really appreciate all this Sasuke”

He rejected that, looking back at Hinata and reaching out to squeeze her hand.

The electricity produced in both by any contact between them was still there, but neither of them could react accordingly.

"Congratulations on your engagement" was all he could say to her, hurt with every single word that came out of his mouth and the little "thank you" she blurted out.

Her hands released, slow, and the feeling of emptiness in him grew greater as the final light touch of their fingertips disappeared.

He said goodbye and turned around, stopping when he opened the door and turned slightly to look at them one last time, seeing them happy as they were approached by other people who congratulated them, although their eyes met again before he could not resist anymore, and left that house.

He completely ignored his car when he passed it, preferring to walk in the middle of the dark street only lit by poor yellowish streetlights and the white moonlight.

It should no longer affect him, it was suppose that the history of both had ended years ago when they agreed that their relationship was no worth anymore, when their paths divided, when he convinced her, just six months after their separation, that she should accept his friend's proposal for a date, assuring her he was completely fine with it.

How silly of him.

Now he was just a page to the left that was only read from time to time in search of something forgotten, and he could do nothing but accept that, yearning for the contract of her thin fingers over his blurry letters.

"A kitten on the roof, alone without his lady"

This one has nothing to do with the one from day 1, although probably only I relate it in my head.

I added the last phrase because in my mind, Sasuke is singing the song that Chat Noir sings in Chat Blanc

PS: Apparently I will do pure cliche and burned stories this month SH

@sasuhinamonth

#shmonth2021 #sasuhina #SasuHina Month 2021 #day 3 #Adicted To your Touch

21 notes · View notes

hitory--chan · 4 years ago

Text

SasuHina Month 2021

Day 1: The beginning of us

Of playdates and dinosaur cookies

Sasuke bit his lower lip, feeling shy for the first time in his short life.

His eyes roamed the entire landscape in front of him, but they fervently avoided looking to his right side, fearful that if he did, then he might never look away again.

That´s was what his older brother told him would happen if he did, and Sasuke, barely a seven years old boy, was terrified just thinking he would spend the rest of his life feeling the whirlwind in his tummy, the warmth of his face and the tickling sensation in his throat that told him he would throw up at any moment just by looking at his new neighbor.

Instead he looked at Itachi, his seventeen-year-old older brother, who was sitting across from him as he talked animatedly to the girl's caretaker beside him about things he couldn't understand and didn't seem to match the rhythm of his lips.

The four of them were at the park, sitting at a picnic table taking a break from the playdate that the older ones arranged for the two youngers who were now having a snack before going back to play each for their part, like they had been doing it for an hour.

That day when both couples met, Sasuke had refused to let go Itachi´s leg, hiding his face in the fabric of his brother´s pants to avoid looking at them and let out a furious blow on the older's thigh when he heard him laugh with Kö - as he learned the man's name was - after Hinata - that's what she was called - asked them if his tummy hurt.

When Itachi and Kö left them in the middle of the playground to sit and watch them from a distance, Sasuke had done his best to avoid looking at Hinata, feeling inexplicably annoyed when she stopped trying to talk to him about what they should play.

But now it was difficult because they were sitting together and there were a lot of interesting noises that caught his attention but he couldn't look for where they were coming from, because if he did, he would have to turn to Hinata’s direction and he would undoubtedly look at her.

He couldn't allow that.

So he keep eating the dinosaur cookies he´d brought especially for this occasion, feeling his tongue dry after putting a Pterodactyl, a Stegosaurus and a Tyrannosaurus Rex in his mouth at the same time, so he reached for the apple juice box he'd left on the table with one hand, but he squealed in surprise when his fingers collided with others as small as his, and before even think about it, he turned his head and froze when his gaze locked onto the pale eyes of the girl.

A few seconds went through in complete silence, until he began to cry.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

He didn't speak to her until they were both twelve years old.

Honestly, it hadn't been his intention, the words that were hovering in his head had simply left his mouth without any warning.

"Digimon is better than Pokémon"

She looked at him in horror, as if he had just said the worst insult that could be said to a person, clutching the strap of the Jigglypuff crossbody bag in her hands.

He bit his tongue and instantly turned away from the metal fence that separated his house from the rest of the world, determined to walk back inside his house and put his face in the first bucket of water he could find, but before he took a third step he heard her speak.

"D-Digimon is a copy of Pokémon"

He slowly turned around, feeling personally insulted.

They both began to have a heated discussion about why one show was better than the other, launching arguments and counter arguments that were moved to the living room of his house after he invited her in to continue arguing while they ate cookies and drank lemonade as an Itachi´s courtesy, who simply walked into the room and put the refreshments in front of them when they were organizing a schedule in which they would watch both series together to showoff which one was the best.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Only a year later he realized, with the help of his brother, that he might be in love with her.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

At fifteen he took her hand for the first time.

It happened while leaving school.

He was walking a few steps behind Hinata when some older boys, seniors, approached and started harassing her.

Like everyone in his class, puberty had caught up with Hinata.

But while the other girls in his grade had barely defined their waists or their breasts just started to grow, Hinata had had to adjust her clothes and change bra sizes at least half a dozen times.

And those changes certainly caught the attention of the boys at school and men on the street, who didn't care if she was still wearing her Togepi-themed stockings or the sheer number of pokemon-faced pins in her backpack, instead of stopping them, they actually seemed it cute and reason enough to try more insistently.

Sasuke was bothered by that, but he didn't interfere because he believed she should be brave enough to stop them herself.

Well, that changed when he saw how they tried to pull up her skirt.

With a sudden wave of fury and taking advantage of his recently developed high -average stature for boys his age- in addition to his robust body, he walked faster, pushing the boy who was most actively teasing her aside and grabbing her hand to move her away with fast steps from that place.

He only stopped when they arrived to the park and nearly collided with the ice cream man, just realizing her fingers had slipped between his and closed around. He squeezed her hand and stroked with his thumb as best he could in an attempt to comfort her when she rested her forehead against his shoulder, preventing him from seeing her face.

She mumbled something and he laughed, motioning for the ice cream man to come over them, letting her choose the most ridiculously large and expensive ice cream that this ice cream man could offer.

Later when they returned home, they watched a Pokemon marathon even though it was supposed to be Digimon's turn, as they had christened Fridays years ago.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Several weeks later, when she was no longer emotionally sensitive about what happened on that occasion, he confessed to her.

To his surprise, she did not reject him.

They started dating.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

The first time they had sex, it was the night of the prom, which neither of them wanted to attend.

They were seventeen years old, but they both felt ready to take that step in their relationship.

And, well, they hadn't planned on doing it on that particular night.

Instead of going to the prom, they preferred to celebrate on their own by going on a date to the ice-skating rink in the center of town. He fell a lot, he wasn't afraid to admit it, he had humbly accepted his legendary inability to handle any kind of rollerblades that might exist, but ice-skating was one of Hinata's favorite activities, and he would sacrifice his butt any day as long as he could watch her laugh happily while trying to teach him to skate.

When they were finally exhausted they went out to eat and then decided to walk home in the cloudy night, ignoring the thunder that warned of the impending storm.

They were close when it started raining loudly, drenching them from head to toe hopelessly before reaching Sasuke's door and entered the house, where they were all alone.

They went straight to Sasuke's room. He pulled her towel over her head and began to dry her hair while Hinata took off her coat and helped him get rid of his. They hugged for a moment as they looked into each other's eyes, the space between them disappearing as their lips met.

But the defining step was taken by Hinata, who pushed him onto the bed to sit and then climbed on top of him, kissing him again as she worked to remove her blouse and unbutton his pants.

That night the cold parts of his body began to heat up with the touches they gave each other as they fused into one.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Having a long distance relationship was difficult, people always said it but they did not believe their relationship was so fragile that they could not bear a few kilometers between them.

But being in universities so far apart from each other proved to be a more difficult challenge than they could bear. They were barely twenty and twenty-one years old, adulthood was still very young for both of them, and the process of adjusting to this new life was proving more complicated than they had ever thought.

He didn't notice the decline in his relationship with Hinata until it was too late, but looking back, there was no other possible outcome.

The first few months there were many love calls, talking almost every night until one of the two could not carry on anymore. But the further the semester progressed, the more difficult it was to talk, the calls went from being daily to inter-daily, then only on weekends.

One call a week, one every fortnight or once a month.

When they talked… well, they didn't talk, they argued.

They argued over trifles or jealousy until one of them couldn't take it anymore and hanged up the phone without any warning.

Then it happened.

"I think we should break up"

Sasuke was livid upon hearing that.

His brain stopped registering the other words she said through the loudspeaker, and instead it repeated them cruelly over and over again, mocking him.

I think we should break up.

We should break up.

Break up.

He did not say anything and pressed the red button on his cell phone, wasted no time and blocked her contact from both his phone and any social network they might have in common and then threw the device against the wall, destroying it in one fell swoop.

He didn't sleep an eye that night, not the night after or the night after that.

And when he finally got to sleep, he dreamed of her.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Now Sasuke is twenty-six years old, he had finished his studies two years ago and returned to his hometown, got a good job and paid for his own apartment where he lived comfortably.

Hinata hadn't come back, not even for the holidays.

Kö had told him that she had stayed to do a specialty, that she was fine and happy. He wanted to see it for himself.

So he looked for her on networks just to remember that he had blocked her, so he unlocked her phone number- which he had never deleted, and even if he had, it would not be a problem, since he remembered every digit of her number - and he unblocked her from Instagram, her Facebook was gone, it seems she had deleted her account.

On Instagram there was nothing new, the last photo published had been three years ago, and reviewing the previous publications he noticed she hadn’t deleted the pictures both of them were together.

He tried calling her only to find out she had changed her number, and that the one he was calling now belonged to an older man with a severe cough problem.

He didn't try anymore, there was nothing more to try.

He had to focus on the present.

He is now a lawyer, the uncle of three little terrors whom he loved with all his soul even though he constantly complained about how loud they were.

Soon they would be staying at his house to take care of them while Itachi and his wife went to another city to finish the transmissions for the adoption of a fourth child, the second that was not biologically theirs.

That's why he was at his childhood convenience store, the only one that still sold the dinosaur cookies that had him so obsessed as a child, which his nephews absolutely loved and demanded every time they visited.

He paid for a large quantity of them and thanked the clerk, opening one of the cookie packages for him as he turned to leave.

The automatic door opened and someone rushed in, bumping into him and knocking the cookies onto the floor. He was about to insult them, but that person beat him to it.

"I am so sorry! I'll pay for the cookies”

He froze, recognizing that voice instantly.

"Hinata?"

"Sasuke?"

His black eyes met her clear ones and the little breath that had remained inside was expelled from him. After years without seeing her, she still seemed like the girl - woman, he corrected himself - more beautiful his eyes had had the privilege of resting on.

"It's been a while"

He wanted to kick himself for commenting on the obvious; instead he bit down hard on the inside his cheek in the sneakiest way possible.

"Yes ... quite ..." she looked at the floor and so did he, where the cookies had already beaten the five second rule more than a minute ago "I'm sorry again for your cookies" she said, this time with a little humor in her voice.

"No problem, I have more" he replied, raising the bag in his hand, emphasizing his words with that action.

Silence fell between them, uncomfortable as it had been in his youth when he had refused to speak to her during all those play dates Itachi had made for him without asking, but the lack of words or active movement allowed him to observe her more closely, listing all of the characteristics that had changed during those years without seeing her.

Her plump cheeks were no longer as prominent, giving her face a more pronounced shape. Her eyes were still large and expressive, but even in the poor light of that establishment he could make out the darkened skin under her eyes. Hadn't she been sleeping properly? Was she working too hard? It had also seemed she had grown a little more, or perhaps he had shrunk, he was only sure that she did not reach the tip of his nose before. He couldn't tell from her baggy clothes - old habits hardly die - but she was probably thinner than before if her face was any indication of it.

Before he could continue searching for the differences between the her of the past and the present, the door opened again and they were both forced to move to make way for whoever came in.

"It was good to see you, Sasuke" she said and he could see the sincerity that was expressed on her face at her words. It was a goodbye, he knew it, and the storm raged inside of him as she walked around and past him, beginning to move away from him.

It was a full-blown impulse when he leaned back and grabbed her arm, sliding his hand quickly towards hers noting the lack of any jewels that could make him reconsider his actions, secretly grateful for the lack of any kind of rings.

"I know a place," he started, his brain working a mile for minute searching for the right words to say "It's near here and they serve decent food, maybe we should go there to catch up?" he said, increasingly unsure of his own voice and ending in a question, something uncharacteristic of his usually blunt attitude.

Instead of answering immediately, Hinata looked at him searching for something that he couldn't even guess what it was. Maybe he was wrong and she was with someone? Maybe she was looking for better words to reject him, she was that considerate.

He tried to lower his hopes, but it was difficult when her own hand closed momentarily around his before releasing it again, perhaps it had just been a small spasm, nothing intentional.

But when she smiled and her hand closed again, the weight of his shoulders and the nervousness of his body disappeared, being replaced with relief when she said...

"Lead the way"

#SasuHina #SasuHina Month 2021 #Sasuke Uchiha #Hinata Hyuga #day 1 #the beginning of us #sasuhina month

36 notes · View notes