#I want to reread it a bit more before doing that
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Wanted to paint some of my favorite characters, nothing more nothing less
[COMMISSIONS]
Way too much yapping like an embarrassing amount, the individual portraits and the template I used below vvv
I shouldn't be allowed to talk about my favorite characters- especially to people who (presumably) don't know them xjfkdk apart from the very popular ones ofc
ILLYA KURYAKIN (The man from U.N.C.L.E)
gay ass little Russian spy I love him he is so *dramatic* and a huge nerd and a Beatles fan and into fashion design- perfect pocket size blorbo ;w; also seeing a Russian character being given a positive leading role in an American tvshow from the 60s ?? Yes he lives in New York and works for UNCLE America.... But he is still a communist ?? Incredible ! Also I really like the fact he isn't given the clichƩ personality traits often given to Russian characters i e anger issues drinks a lot violent ect (looking at you shitty(imo) modern remake... What did you do to my little guy ;;). In a close contest with Spock for the "gayest man from tvshow" of the 60s..... And in my heart he is winning djdkd for me the gay subtext of muncle hits so much more because it's not a scifi show- it's closer to home, Napoleon and Illya were *like that* in the present day of the 60s, they were both human, and no alien fuckery made them go to the village more than once or play house in the suburbs or get attached ass up to get pegged on a regular basis... Truly a show that feels written by an old queen and a guy with the biggest fem dom fetish jkvjjkb (don't get me wrong tho I adore star trek tos and spirk too <3)
KUROO HAZAMA and PINOKO (Black Jack)
sometimes I rewatch some of the oavs from the 90s when I'm sad :) I had a huge phase a couple years back when I read nearly all the manga (should really finish it... Or reread the whole thing frankly), watched *all* the shows (bar young black jack, hated that shit) and idk I just love this venal bitch so much- him and his daughter and his conflicted feelings for his tboy ex that he still loves kfkfkf btw I'm dying for a modern take on this like please please please I'd love to see Kei Kisaragi's story rewritten a bit (trans character in the 70s sure was progressive but oh boy-), because him and black jack's relationship makes me so *weak*.... And maybe see him a bit more than in one story- anyway ! When it comes to his daughter Pinoko, it's very hit or miss- when the writers lean on the cute father adoptive daughter relationship it's great, when they lean more on the whole "she has a crush on him" (very much like a child in most case, and he *never* reciprocate thank god) and bring up the fact she is technically 18 a lot (she was an evil tumor trapped in her sister before he created a body for her- black jack shit dw), and she gets jealous of other women.... Well it's terrible and I'm uncomfy :(
EVA KANT (Diabolik)
Look.... You just can't show me danger diabolik 1968 and not expect me to become insane djdkdkdk she is so cool ;; !!! Her and her devious eel of a man (here as a panther, because even tho I haven't read the comic yet, I'm taking an educated guess that all the panther imagery is here to represent him, the lethal twunk always in the all black gimp suit... And if it's not then fuck my entire life ig fjfkkd), the cuntiest het couple you've ever seen, such freaks I love them ! Partners in crime that will blow up the tax offices of the whole country if you try to put a bounty on them <3 they are in the guilty faves category only because I'm this invested in these characters after 1 (one) movie fkfkf watched the first two remakes and was hmmm let's say underwhelmed, could have been worse but going after the 60s one ie peak cinema was hard... I went in fully invested in these heterosexuals and they still fucked up their romance and relationship ;; (don't spoil me the third one btw haven't seen it yet ! I know it's the yaoi one- which doesn't give me much hope for Eva tbh...) I'll soon start reading the comics tho ! Managed to find all twelve volumes of "Il grande Diabolik" in french for pretty cheap so I'm excited for that :D (might scan them and upload them online because omg I tried finding scans in *any* language and only found a dubious website that sold digital copies for 7ā¬ a volume ??? What is this)
UTA (The Void / Š¢ŃŃŠ³Š¾Ń / Turgor / Tension)
Apathy girlyyyyy she just like me for real for real nfkfk what absolutely charmed me about her is yes her design, but more importantly her chamber's design (if you've never played the void, a sister's chamber is a space that represent her. You get a sense of who she is by exploring her chamber before finding her and talking to her soul it's great). The lonely island out at sea, her laying down on a suspended steel boat in a grotto, looking passively at the moon by a crack on the ceiling.... And the moon is looking back. Incredible ! I love this game so much
KIM KITSURAGI (Disco Elysium)
Do I really have to explain this one ? When I played the game with quiji I remember I kept saying "when Kim talks, we *listen*" djkdk we did get a good grade in Kim Kitsuragi and got him to dance in the church <3 this fucking centrist cop wormed it's way into my heart and many others because of course he did. The only Kim K in my eyes. Also funny anecdote : before I played Disco Elysium, I had one concept art masterclass where a kinda famous concept artist came to give advice, make us really stressed then give us a shitty grade.... And when I tell you this man looked so much like Kim ??? Same haircut, glasses, face with a scar *exactly* where Kim's portrait has a stark shadow on his cheek and he was dressed in an orange top- truly uncanny. Anyway, Kim is so fucking cool how does he do it
DARK VADOR (La guerre des Ć©toiles)
*sight* not surprising if you know me... and to be clear when I say Vader I don't mean Anakin Skywalker, post barbecue only zouz here. I refuse to yap about this man djdkdk I already do that way to much in ao3 comment sections
And here is the template I used ! Don't know who made it tho sorry...
PS : all these where made in 2-3 hours each :D wanted to challenge myself by painting quickly, and I mostly (looking at the Eva Kant one that gave me trouble) succeeded !
#I FORGOT HIS SHITTY LITTLE MUSTACHE OMFG if you saw a clean shaven Kim for a second there no you did not#My favs are the Illya and Vader ones fuivbfd so proud of them#illya kuryakin#tmfu tv#the man from uncle#kuroo hazama#pinoko#black jack#eva kant#danger: diabolik#diabolik#the void#Š¢ŃŃŠ³Š¾Ń#turgor#tension#ice pick lodge#uta#kim kitsuragi#disco elysium#darth vader#star wars#star wars original trilogy#artists on tumblr#fanart#digital painting#portrait painting#art#my art#digital art#art template
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Some of my favourite Crooked Kingdom quotes :)
So I finished Crooked Kingdom and this post is gonna be a lot less articulate than my last one about the series because...
Who the actual fuck let the last 100 pages of that novel happen???
They were so entertaining but aside from that they had some of the most beautiful sentiments and prose. So I am going to share my favourites from each character's POV in Part Six: Action & Echo :3
Nina: Page 455
"But she hadn't been made for shame."
"Nina had grieved for her loss of power, for the connection she'd felt to the living world. She'd resented this shadow gift. It had seemed like a sham, a punishment. But just as surely as life connected everything, so did death. It was that endless, fast-running river. She'd dipped her fingers into its current, held the eddy of its power in her hand. She was the Queen of Mourning, and in its depths, she would never drown."
It's such a beautiful sentiment and moment to watch her fully come to love herself again and her new power. I love Nina as a deeply relatable character and this was just so perfect to see her come back to loving and finding herself.
Inej: Page 460
"But what about the rest of us? What about the nobodies and the nothings, the invisible girls? We learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. We learn to wring magic from the ordinary. That was how you survived when you weren't chosen, when there was no royal blood in your veins. When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway."
This gave me chills. Everything about this is utterly gut wrenching and feels incredibly relatable. I reread that line probably 4 times before moving on.
Jesper: Page 471
"It's not a gift. It's a curse. But when it came down to it, Jesper's life had been full of blessings. His father. His mother. Inej. Nina. Matthias leading them across the muddy canal. Kaz--even Kaz, with all his cruelties and failings, had given him a home and a family in the Dregs when Ketterdam might have swallowed him whole. And Wylan. Wylan who had understood before Jesper ever had that the power inside him might be a blessing too."
Jesper realizing that for all the shit luck he has at tables he has been lucky enough to have amazing people in his life. It's just very sweet.
Matthias: Page 483
"Unnatural, said the old, determined voice. Beautiful, said the voice that had spoken the night he'd helped Jesper and Kuwei escape Black Veil. It was newer, less certain, but louder than ever before."
I love this part because it shows just how much Matthias has changed through the two books. It's beautiful and sweet and heartwarming.
Wylan: Page 427
"Wylan summoned every bit of bravado he'd learned from Nina, will he'd learned from Matthias, the focus he'd studied in Kaz, the courage he'd learned from Inej, and the wild, reckless hope he's learned from Jesper, the belief that no matter the odds, somehow they would win."
Okay... I cheated with Wylan's it's from his chapter just before Action & Echo... BUT, I think this sentiment is much more telling than anything in his Part Six chapter. I love this quote because it shows just how much his found family taught him. They're messy, they're brutal, and they're awful, but they are everything to each other. They teach each other, they help, they care, they tease, and that's way more than Wylan ever had at home.
Kaz: Page 480 & 529
"'I also had her stop at the Menagerie.'
She smiled then, her eyes red, her cheeks scattered with some kind of dust. it was a smile he thought he might die to earn again."
"'That's the laugh,' he murmured."
The second quote isn't from his chapter, it's from Inej's final one, but it conveys the same thing as the first quote. It shows what Kaz could have been, that somewhere in there he wants to show Inej can take his armour off, that he is willing to do it for her and I think it's just really gratifying to see.
That all being said chapter 42 was so evil. It had me going from sobbing of joy to sobbing of sorrow and back to joy in the span of 3 paragraphs istg. What the actual fuck Leigh Bardugo???
#six of crows#crooked kingdom#nina zenik#inej ghafa#jesper fahey#matthias helvar#wylan van eck#kaz brekker
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I think I finally have Chapter 7 of my Wanderer fic done. Literally months later š.
#I probably won't post it right away#I want to reread it a bit more before doing that#I actually reread the whole story from the start to make sure the chapter fit lol#the struggles of writing a chaptered story#mimi's updates
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Good morning šš¼
I want to thank everyone their support with reblogging my stuff over the years and reblogging some of the context of the situation.
Tumblr and Instagram is filled with the most supportive people Iāve ever had the chance of meeting. The last time something like this happened, I didnāt have much support, not even from people I thought were close to me. It took me a year or two to be okay with being perceived again in fandoms. So Iām very grateful for everything.
I just wanted to post that I appreciate all of the asks and Iāve been reading all of them. I actually get anxious Iām spamming everyone too much so I probably wonāt reply to everything. Please donāt feel pressured to support me financially, thereās is a free option on patreon to follow. Iāll post future project plans and occasional updates because I still love comics and I still love DC/Marvel. I do enjoy having people following along for my art/reading journey so I would always be okay with people just following for free. My brain is telling me this post is too long now so I will go šš¼š
#my brain to me: what in the retired YouTuber ass type post.. (screams) ok#I just received a lot of anons about the situation and I wanted to clarify itās okay!!#I know the usd conversion rate is crazyā¦ so Iāll try to wrangle my head to post some stuff publicly. I had a friend who supported me from#brazil.. I was like what! ily but if itās breaking bank please donāt do it!!!#I also didnāt want people sending me asks thinking I didnāt read it.. listen Iāve been a fandom lurker for a while. yes I do get sad when#people donāt reply to my asksā¦ because Iām like I want to know your answer so bad#sorry Iām not doing a very good job replying š Iāve actually never had a fandom blog of this level#Iāve never gotten more than 5 asks over the 3+ years of tumblr usage..#Iām also an ultra perfectionist where Iāll reread what I wrote 2ā5 times before posting. yeah itās a bit crazy! if you send me a list of#recommended comics before I will probably read every single one and then reply 7+ months laterā¦#ššš#let me not ramble more šš¼#going to go get breakfast
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We should talk more about the fact Jason got swarmed and attacked by a mob as Robin, like??? Hello. He had to be left there because the mob was too violent with Batman near. He had to be taken to the hospital.
Look at those injuries!!
The next time we see him he's forcing himself out of bed and putting on the Robin costume thinking "I've gotta do what I can to help, even if it kills me!"
The next next time we see him he has walked into yet another violent mob
I cannot stop thinking about this story and the effects it probably had on him honestly. Do you think it's made him nervous in crowds, do you think it made him trust others just that bit less. How long do you think he was being attacked before he was found, the scene had cleared. "I've gotta do what I can to help, even if it kills me!",,,,
Just the concept itself! I don't know about you guys but being attacked and grabbed and trampled into unconsciousness sounds absolutely terrifying! Did he black out, still getting hit, thinking he was going to die? Knowing he couldn't defend himself as his injuries to took their toll? At their complete mercy?
1986-87 Legends, issue #2 (the attack), #3 (the hospital), #5 (getting up), #6 (defending heros from another forming mob)
2010 DC Universe: Legacies, issue #6 (flashback panel to Legends moment)
#jason todd#jaybin#jason todd robin#comic reference#we need to talk about and acknowledge this so much more its such a fun bit of information n backstory#and i honestly think its a REALLY IMPORTANT jaybin moment. both for him and readers#batman#dc comics#i never see anyone talk about it which is such a shame honestly#fairly confident this is post crisis jaybin. but of course we are in the evil gray area of actually post crisis - before new backstory#but gonna be honest with you guys here i and actual dc writers take from precrisis jaybin alot anyway because he IS still jason#and adds more original comic time for jason#as long at its not like blatantly contradictory i keep a rather lot of his things#and again we are in the grey area of it#plus he calls himself the new robin in the hospital scene so that probably means something#and none of it at all matters anyway because when it comes to comics you do what you want for forever. thumbs up emoji#this is still important anyway. the āive gotta help even if it kills me!ā haunts me#dare i say i wish we talked more about jaybin time in general. like. the stories from it#all i usually hear is ditf and him pushing or not pushing that guy. its a shame i think jaybin has some really fun stories#i think (i think) scarecrow and mad hatter were rogues he faced the most. DEFINITELY scarecrow#two face too if im counting the mad hatter. +plus importance bc twoface he thought killed his dad#he lets himself be kidnapped by two face saying hes the SECOND robin and then insults the guys car#he dresses up as two face once#he saw scarecrow making highly concentrated fear toxin and dumped it on him š#sherlock holmes was in a story at some point#its so fun. augh i need to reread jaybin so so bad its so fun i miss it
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more phoenix wright situations
#ace attorney tag#maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care.#gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth#without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly..#or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates.#i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable#there have to be Situations that make you Realise.#as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+#but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work#there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened.#Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations#the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is#people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong.#The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else.#But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me.#and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid !#so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all.#i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out...#not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing#i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life.#i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior.#does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment.#so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3
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Hello!
If you're not too busy, would you mind listing some of the things you think count as death flags for Mr. Spender?
There's the obvious fact that he's the "old" mentor to group of young protagonists, but what else do you think would count?
OHH BOY ok so I'd think I'm a crackpot for this but since we're talking about Zack "Foreshadowing" Morrison. I have some thoughts
No harm in leading with the (chronologically) first thing that jumped out at me:
This one IMMEDIATELY made me antsy whenever I came back to it after my initial read, and considering Zack has referred to it on twitter in the past as one of their favorite jokes it's definitely not been forgotten about.
Second, the sheer amounts of near-misses, jokey or not, of Spender narrowly avoiding specifically lightning
Again, not much, but it's weird that it happened thrice, latter two of which had real gravitas rather than an one-off joke.
And third, Spender himself. He's repeatedly shown himself to be kind of a self sacrificing idiot, as well as prideful to a fault. Granted, it's both him and Mina trying to take on all the responsibility of saving Mayview and its inhabitants from their fate.. But Spender is exactly that right measure of doesn't-value-himself-enough (chest footprint aftercare or lack thereof), having an obscene amount of power (enables his loner act + pride) and poor judgement that has the capacity to put him at great risk. And it has!
Spender has not only shown low enough self-esteem to view himself as the de-facto scapegoat for the safety of the town, but also prideful enough to make very bad calls that end up in people, often himself, hurt (COUGH FORGE INCIDENT COUGH)
This is all conjecture, but it's definitely enough to make me worried about him :') Even if all this doesn't mean he'll necessarily die he's definitely getting (even more) seriously injured at some point. I love the guy but he's so far doing a horrible job of convincing me he wants to live bad enough to circumvent at least that
#not art#admin answers#paranatural#pnat#richard spender#pts-fic-notes-and-blog#before i continue on with tag ramble i just want to say tysm for leaving an ask!#none of my friends read this so ive been stewing on these thoughts for some months and i loved finally sharing them#this isn't exactly proof but the hijack possession seemingly being the final nail in the coffin for his and isabel's relationship.#idk it feels significant to me. thats one more tether to support kinda gone. someone who knows him well enough to know he's unwell#he seems not exactly content but fr incapable of not burning bridges as he is now. and considering how rashly he acts he REALLY needs those#to not do stupid shit all the god damn time with no buffer other than Lucifer. who for his measured approach to rick's hotheadedness#has honestly shown himself to be pretty lenient and kinda bad at controlling spender's more (self) destructive tendencies? so he dont count#to be clear i love spender to bits but he is dumb as rocks and has all the self preservation of a fruit fly. it needs to be said#also the lightning man... idk its WEIRD like especially on the reread its the thing that most consistently threatens him! it repeats#sure he gets chewed by a bat and banged up by forge but?? he somehow always comes back to lightning. catnine has it out for him#its something i didnt even really put together until i continued reading the flashback chapter AFTER getting this ask and went OHHHGNHF#which the only reason lightning is such a non issue is lucifer's powers. which belong to his sunglasses and not to the spirit in him#so its not like they can't be taken away he's just got a really good excuse for having those on all the time#TAGS GETTING SO LONG. ANYWAYS. i hope this is comprehensible lol
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*writes the same exact headcannons in slightly different scenarios over and over again*
#it all comes back to my unicron-spawn Starscream and my quintesson-built Jazz#today I worked a little on us Starscream and qb Jazz becoming friends and getting a absurdly similar dynamic to how I write Prowl and Jazz#but I stopped that to work on a memory loss fic w that Jazz fighting his way from autobots to Starscream bc he was the only one who he#trusted with a complete memory back up as another not-cybertronian#and I stopped THAT to work on a qb Jazz/Prowl fic where it's non-essential no pain killer surgery that Prowl has to do on Hazx bc he refuses#to go to medics. partially bc the surgery is completely unsafe in any firm and partly bc qb Jazz doesn't want anyone else to know what he is#(and Prowl barely knows either)#but I only got a few sentences into that b4 I went to do an Autobot!DJD (AJD?) torture scene w qb Jazz where the nameless character to die#manages to tear open his chest while fighting back and finds nothing inside#BUT that's rlly similar 2 a fic where I've done the same thing w Starscream (the chest discovery in a scuffle bit) so I reread that before#I got distracted thinking abt my Starop fic that's all Starscream doesn't have a spark because he's a ghost Optimus Prime doesn't have a#spark because he's a lab experiment gone rogue. Misunderstandings ensue. which I adore but have no idea how to fit a plot into#so bc I couldn't think of anything more than a few sentences for that I went to my fic where ALL of the command trine formed from Unicron#but Skywarp and Thundercracker died early and Starscream spends millions of years searching all of cybertron and hoping Vector Sigma#reincarnation works for unicronians too. biiiig depression angst fic. I can't decide if I want it to end in Starscream self-inducing stasis#in one of Vector Sigma's chambers or whether I want it to end w Starscream brutally murdering the new trine member the reincarnated versions#of Skywarp and Thundercracker were made with (who ftr would be Sun Storm)#n that fic reminded me of that one rewritting of the Starscream's Ghost ep where Starscream catches a glimpse of Scourge and immediately#attacks. it's barely a fight because in seconds SS is ripping through layers of armor desperately searching for Thundercracker beneath the#shell Unicron gave him. He needs Thundercracker to be there (he isn't). Only when his claws have gone completely thru Scourge's back does he#round on the armada- only to completely ignore Cyclonus and go for one of his clones (Skywarp)#and that reminded me of- *gunshots*#do u see why I only ever manage to post ponies?? I have less ideas w them so I actually finish.#I'm worried of hitting tag limit but I have plenty more of even less fleshed out fics for us Starscream and qb Jazz#(I barely said half of what's in my writing docs)
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this is a test
#iām bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters thatās actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring letās think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk iām not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad thatās a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isnāt all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw thereās probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i donāt#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like iām actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much itās crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books theyāre all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry thatās made everything a bit messy. i shouldāve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think youāre being annoying i literally donāt care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now itās just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i donāt really have any thoughts to put here idk if weāre halfway ermmmm omg itās#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. itās wild how itās basically almost christmas. like#what. thatās illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesnāt crash or#smth cause iāve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but iāve saved it and holy jesus itās a lot of text im just sat here giggling thereās really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldnāt that be crazy) so wait thereās 140#haracters and 30 tags so whatās 30 x 140. someone hurry. i havenāt done maths lessons in two and a half years iāve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time
#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start#I wanna get in his head more ok sue me#Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits#Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts#Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too āĆ³wĆ² sad poor smol beanā or whatever#Thatās it tho chapter 4 I didnāt change bc itās peak#Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesnāt realize it#Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom#I think thatās all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 š#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue#Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house#Grace post#this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things#Bc I think I did that recently but I donāt remember it much tho#Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain#Also Iād wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diaryās to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark#Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries#This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts#In other news I made shapes redesigns but Iām on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh#Nowadays Iām more chill w spoiling things than I used to be#But there are a handful of things Iāve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So Iām not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now#Shrugs#maybe Iāll do a poll later I dunno#Ok yapping over byeeeeee
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It always seems like such a good idea in the moment (Patreon)
The first four are in reference to a great idea I had of - since Iāve finished my lower-limit page number testing for making books; shorter fics take up less page space, and just increasing the font size isnāt as handsome! - simply making a mini book! All it would take would be to halve the pages again, right? Just cut them right down the middle! Easy peasy!
As Iām sure you can tell by the second, no. Not easy peasy. Difficult painful un-fun >:(
Obviously I still did it tho! What do you take me for, someone who could have the idea of an even tinier book and then not do something about it?? No Itās also the only one so far to have a paper bookmark rather than a ribbon!
All told itās a bit smaller than your average manga (I love the monochrome covers on these under their dust jackets haha <3) - you can see even with effectively doubling up the pages by halving their size, it was still very small-spined!
A quick shot while it was still being made hehe āŖ Itās Out! Paired here - and the earlier one, just without its dust jacket haha - with my Zarla SC2 collection (ft. Family, Negotiations are Going...Well, and With No Obligation) - I absolutely kicked myself after the fact for not including Out as the run-up to everything, I was really trying to make a full collection in probably-chronological order! Out wouldāve been a perfect start! And it only wouldāve taken like four pages!!
Ah well, it was still quite a learning experience - I probably wouldnāt make another standalone of under 4k-ish just for formatting reasons but I did get some good ideas of how to do so if I wanted to! Although, my next project is going to be even more of a formatting nightmare........Iāll get there when I get there! Lol
#Doodles#The impulsive thoughts are always the funnest! But then it's all a matter of actually putting them into reality...#Ahh well like I said under the cut it was a learning experience! And I really wanted a physical copy of Out haha āŖ#I don't think I've ever mentioned it - not even in my pre-fic notes :0 - but Out was another one of my inspirations for Drinking Game#I mean - the drinking lol obviously but I hadn't considered what VUX drinking would be like before reading it :)#I wanted to pair it with both physical copies hehe ā« I'm happy I attempted it! And I have a better foundation to build on in the future!#I ended up using the scrap leftover from making such a small cover as the bookmark haha - and I picked the covers so they'd almost-match :)#They go together! But not quite! Just enough!#The sting of creation has worn off - it's actually been a while since I've made a quick book! - so the itch is starting to come back haha#Well - almost lol - the formatting is still........but I do want to do it! Especially now that I've got a hand-in-hand hobby to go with it#All that later āŖ For now snakes!#And also spiders I am also the same when spiders#I've been escorting a lot of spiders outside lately and pretty much all of them fall under the moniker of ''darling'' to me lol#Still no luck on finding a jumping spider :( But I also haven't got an enclosure set up yet either#There's this one booth that always has such adorable and pretty jumping spider enclosures ahhh I might have to break and get one someday#Same place where I got to hold the snake in fact! :D She was a love <3 Beautiful full-grown female cornsnake if memory serves#She was rather wiggly - she was tired and fussy and didn't feel like being handled by a stranger but she was so polite about it#A real delight to handle <3 And I got to see her babies! So cute and tiny!#The rest is more SCII fic stuff haha āŖ Rereading the Pirate fic was a lot of fun :) Intentionally avoiding Vargas fic(s) does make me a bit#Well I really like Vargas still lol it is candy to my brain so any gesture even remotely in that direction is very exciting haha#I'm perfectly happy with the rest for now tho! I have plenty of things to read and make! >:3c#Heck there's still a SCII fic I haven't read yet that I want to!! I just have to get all my previous SCII thoughts out of my head first haha#I will tho >:3c Always always āŖā«#SCII
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yeah but genuinely piranesi inspires such a feeling of longing and solemnity in me... the nostalgia for home and the acceptance of growing older. can i get your thoughts on it!!
OH GOD I donāt even really know where to begin, Iāve been trying to put my words together all night!! I feel like thereās so much I want to say but I donāt know where to start.
I guess I will start with how I felt just after reading it, which was just like such an indescribable feeling of hopefulness for the future. I love stories like this that focus on real aspects of life in a fantasy perspective, especially with the way this story handles the situation of trauma and recovery (at least this is the conclusion I ended up with). And the entire time I felt so involved with the story and the way it is read as if piranesi is writing to us directly through the whole thing, which in a way he was or was writing in hopes of someone reading it which idk I just adore this, I think it just is such a fun way to involve the audience. And I like that we can directly see his growth through the story, from childlike wonder to his better understanding and the great reveal at the end. I do agree with your sentiment of growing older cause this does reflect that aspect in such a large way.
Piranesi as a character and who he becomes at the end i just canāt help but cling to. Thereās so much I want to say about his entire character, who he was and who he became but GAHH I DONT HAVE THE WORDS. Please just know that I love him dearly and I am completely attached to his character. I havenāt been able to stop thinking about him since I started reading (though to be fair this is only day 3 haha). Either way, I love him so fucking much jfc I am clinging to him with my entire life!!!!!!!!
I think most importantly I love the message of the book. I love the setting and the way it utilizes this as a way to push its message, or at least the message I got from it in the end. That trauma can and will change us against our will and despite becoming entirely new people, we still must care for our self as if we are caring for the people we once were. And even in the situation where trauma is not a factor, we still do change as people from who we once were when we are younger. I feel like I am not wording that good at all haha but I tear up thinking about it a bit. You cannot ever go back to being the person you once were and thatās okay. It just means you should strive to care for your current self because that person you once were is still apart of you and you should strive to care for them and yourself in turn. (I also find it so weird and ironic that I was just discussing this topic with a friend sometime last week, where I described how detached I feel from my younger self to the point where she is apart of me but I am not her and that I feel like because Iām the one that lived in the end, I will take care of the body she left me and the people she left behind in her shape. So when I read that part about Piranesi taking care of Matthew, I had to actually take my break at work just to sit and dwell on that. IT SCARED ME A BIT AT HOW ACCURATE IT WAS TO HOW I FEEL BUT GOD DO I ADORE THIS BOOK FOR IT. its just odd that i had been meaning to read this book for a few months now but i only just chose this week to read it. funny how it all works in the end)
I feel as though Iāve gone way off topic lolol but yes!!! I ADORE this book in its entirety!! I love the world building and just everything about it makes my head spin with glee!!! I definitely want to do a reread sometime soon once I get the book (I typically listen to audiobooks at work!) because thereās so many parts I loved that Iād want to further dive into. I JUST. THIS BOOK. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Thereās very much more I want to say but this is as much as I could get out of me atm!!!
#asks#putting it under read more cause a bit of spoilers lolol#THE BEAUTY OF THE HOUSE IS IMMEASURABLE; ITS KINDNESS INFINITE <3#god I donāt even know how to dive into my feelings on the house just yet#please do know I adore that aspect of it as well though. I adore the idea of the house and its love#the way it acts as an anchor for piranesi. god there's so much to say about the house.#i already want to do another reread but giving myself time to fully let it sink in before doing that fkkgjjhdfhdjkg#books that make you feel things are one of the greatest things in the world but watch out. the emotions. /SILLY#BUTYEAH. I LOVE IT. SO SO MUCH. SLAMS MY HEAD INTO A PILLAR.
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Genuinely this lj liveblog is saving my sanity reading this. They're a lot more analytical than I am for certain things and I really appreciate that. And also sometimes you need the experience of buddy reading a book but you'd never force anyone to read 770 pages of slop.
#twist rambles#vc posting#most importantly it's getting me thru this 40 pg chapter. which my god grateful thats the longest chapter here lol#i do rly want to reread qotd and a bit of tvl before prince les.tat so ill maybe do that? still have BC next but. we stay brave ok. we are#in the home stretch. honestly im just glad i didn't hate b&g writing wise as much as i thought? like mar.ius being the protag sucked and#that was the worst of it but i liked seeing more of bianca and her awesome divorce nature (easily the highlight for me). as well as seeing#events from another pov. this isn't the worst book of the series in terms of wanting to not be reading anymore but im also only 100 pages#into it? so we will see bc i think itll get worse lol. but yeah i love u beautiful liveblogs
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I am...... having a moment where I'm not sure if I'm actually awake or not
I just refound a fic that I started reading forever ago that was lost due to peoples' bad behavior towards the artist and I'm..... I feel like I must be having a dream.
#im not sure if it IS real if it is the original creator#i am not awake enough for this rn fksifjekr#i literally fell asleep because i had nothing to do/couldnt make a choice so my brain just powered down#and i woke up like ok i need smth#and just opened ao3 to scroll and look for an oldie but a goldie to reread or smth#and there it is. i read like one chapter maybe before it was gone and there it is#im really excited#i am almost scared to say anything about it in case its not really the writer or the fic#or if it is i dont want the bad things to repeat#i.... im gonna get some water and wake up a bit more.
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omg i get a little stressed and to cope i end up playing esthetician until 130 am and go to bed feeling worse than before. and like id pluck every leg hair out but havenāt brushed my teeth yet. and after that my skin gets soo bad and im like whattttt why is this uappening.
#text#the past couple of months have been crayzeeeeeee but now things are cslm. but im still š«Øš«Øš«Ø mentally bc im not in a good routine or anything#it always starts bc im like āi need to take better care of myselfā and then ends badly. lol#tiktok āeverything showerā joke kinda made me get back into the strange habit of doing the absolute bare minimum + doing everything in one#night and feeling worse. instead of like having a more consistent routine#rly i need to start working out again. it helps me regulate things bc i like to plan ahead lol#im on anxiety meds now so im gonna TRYYYYYY to help myself by getting in a better routine#AND BY THAT. i mean SLOWLY bc ive gone through this cycle before and and starting things all on the same day is a variant of this.#and i gotta get off my phone. my neck fucking hurts from sitting weird and scrolling too long#tiny bit cringy to admit but i want to find a stim toy that i could do the same scroll motion on. if that makes sense#like a smooth peice of metal or something. maybe iāll buy a little keychain and see if that could replace the motion while im chillin doing#something else#SORRY if anyone does read this usually i reread my posts to make sure im coherent before posting but its 140 something am and im high again#ALSO 2024 resolution im done being high on most week nights. i need to calm down w it#ok last thing bc this is funny#phoebe bridgers song came on while i was driving home and the one lyric was like im not afraid of going back to schoolā¦ā¦.#and it hit me in that exact moment bc I AMMMMMM AFRAID TO go back to school but im notā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļø itās fineā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļø i am not gonna#ok goodnight. i brushed my teeth#sabotage this.
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octavia butler GOOD
#havent read anything of hers since college but i just read patternmaster in 1 sitting and goddamn. that was so much fun#very good very fun#love the worldbuilding as ever#love how quick the stakes are set up#love how we're given just the barest explanation for ages and it SUFFICES and i figured it was all we'd get#and was satisfied with it. and then surprise! little tidbit more as a treat <3#hoping that in the others in this series there will be more lore... as i understand it they're all set before this one so like#i expect so?#ALSO like. as ever she's doing fun things with relationships & sexuality & gender#the only bit of reproductive stuff (at least that i noticed on first read) was the incest and that was surprisingly sparse#like. turns up in the first few pages and then literally never comes up again except in passing references#also REALLY interested in the mutes#delighted by amber. would need to reread and focus more strongly on her#i want to study this book.........#pretty sure we did not read this one in my class at college#we read like. bloodchild and speech sounds#and parable of the sower & parable of the talents#and kindred! and fledgling!#and . what was the one where they were on like a spaceship...#[googles] liliths brood!!!#i dont remember terribly much of liliths brood.. its mostly impressions#i'm actually not sure we read further than dawn...? i Think we did but im not positive#i do know i did more skimming than i wouldve liked and did not re-read any of them#there was a lot to get through in just 1 quarter yknow#and this was all uhh. [checks notes] like 8 years ago#might do some rereading but i gotta read the other pattern books first
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