#I want this on my desk immediately
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deoidesign Ā· 5 months ago
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I met the me who made different choices
#idk what this means so dont ask#got the words stuck in my head and this is what I wanted to draw for it immediately#me at my desk. so.#I dont look exactly like this obviously. doesnt matter. anyways#hard time recently in a lot of different ways#lots of work to do!#given up on getting everything done I kind of failed at that. it was too much#so now I'm just trying to get anything done that will make the next 6 months not kill me again#ideally. 3 episodes. or the book#or like at least close enough to that that its basically that#I'm feeling really screwed LOL#I dont know how I've been working every day for so long and still havent done enough...#(its because the work load is way too much)#every time I take 1 hour for myself. to cook. or clean. or draw something else. or play a game. I feel so guilty auauau#I hate webtoon I hate this damn green app...#DOESNT MATTER!!!#what DOES matter is my art is good as hell... look at this shit...#the light. the colors. I love you red I love you green#I need to get more red pants I only have the one pair.#I saw this guy with red pants that had skeleton legs on them and I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! I need them!!!!#I need to start sewing again. I dont have a sewing machine cause my apartment is too small so I havent sewn in years but I really want to..#I want to make clothes again... I need some vests I need some dresses..#I will not make pants or sleeved shirts because I dont hate myself#sketch#art#vent art I guess LMFAO its not#its just this fun little thing we like to call self expression#also this isnt how my desk setup actually is I scooted things around cause I didnt wanna draw anything twice. fuck it we ball#ok back to work
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emberglowfox Ā· 5 months ago
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i kind of knew in theory that all my hobbies involved my hands but i kind of just ignored it n was like oh well im sure id manage
top ten pics taken seconds before disaster
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spacecrows Ā· 2 months ago
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slightly late for work, vivdly remember i put my adhd meds in A Special Place last night so i Don't Forget to take them before work (usually work from home but leaving the house today) (higher stakes) but now i can't find them (should have seen this coming) but that's okay that's cool i have a bottle of backup meds in one of my bags (i know myself) except i can't find it in any of my bags but not to worry! i have a second bottle of backup backup meds in a cabinet for dire situations like this (i know myself) but ah. by talos this can't be happening
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pitconfirm Ā· 2 months ago
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2025 is the year I upgrade my battle station (desk setup)
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himblebo Ā· 2 months ago
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All I want in 2025 is to be able to move out
#partly for peace of mind#partly for self actualization#partly to not have to commute so far#but primarily so that I can have a space I can arrange however I want#to have an actual room to use as a sewing studio and not have it be the desk in my bedroom#itā€™s so hard to save up money on my current salary because 2/3 of it immediately goes to loan payments and bills#but Iā€™m gonna do it somehow#all I want is a clean manufactured home in a trailer park within 30 minutes of the museum#manifesting#but also strategizing#sewing and experimental archaeology are what bring me the most joy#and that is what I want to build my future for#that is what I want to be doing#researching and making and doing things#and if I can get a place of my own thatā€™ll be a big step towards that goal#especially because investing in a trailer home will make me feel more secure than renting#if most of my money is going to a monthly payment Iā€™d rather it be for something I will actually own at some point#itā€™s just saving up for the down payment thatā€™s card#but a trailer home will cost me about as much as my degree did and Iā€™ve almost paid off those private loans#so I know that it is an achievable goal in the not too distant future#my private student loans are almost paid off then Iā€™ll work on paying down my credit card balances#and my car payment is just background noise because when Iā€™m driving 500 miles a week for work Iā€™m glad I invested in a newer car#the car payment Iā€™ve accepted will just be there for a couple more years#but the private student loans and credit cards I think I can take care of this year#and then Iā€™ll be able to put more away each month#I think Iā€™ve got 2 years max before I actually go insane if I canā€™t move out#though Lizzie Borden was 32 so that gives me 6 more years before reaching the point of homicide as a coping mechanism#a very normal and healthy thought to have
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nilla-bear Ā· 16 days ago
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he he got eated :(
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kate-apologist Ā· 8 months ago
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god i hate moving. i hate moving so much. i'm so sick of moving i'm not gonna move again for at least 24 months this is such bullshit
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californiaquail Ā· 22 days ago
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just had the most mortifying phone call i've had in a long time jesus christ
#was just trying to find out if i could still use my new health insurance at my dr appointment next wednesday if i didn't have the card#but somehow managed to do it in thee most awkward tripping over my words not making sense way possible i feel bad#i'm not even that bothered by phone calls anymore i used to be a lot worse but the brain fog is unbelievable today#oh also i initially selected the option for billing dept because i was like oh insurance and billing like they go together right idk#but then the person cut me off to be like this is billing and you need to follow the prompts for the front desk and making appointments.....#which doesnt really make sense to me but whatever....then the front desk person was clearly fed up with me not having shit completely sorted#with my insurance lol#i've been trying and failing to make a fucking account with the insurance because for some reason the billing account is totally separate#from like the insurance account where you could hypothetically see your coverage details etc and when i tried before i put in the wrong zip#code and it told me it would send me a confirmation email and then two days later i got an email saying it was denied because the zip code#was wrong well it wasn't letting me change the zip code before (????) but now it did so i'm waiting on the confirmation email yet again#seems like the kind of thing that would be fairly immediate but of course this all has to be done in the worst and most evil way possible...#i don't even know if i'm putting together comprehensible sentences i havent had anything to eat all day and there is no glucose in my brain#for thoughts. and i DON'T want to make food but i also have no business getting takeout again. ugh#me
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candlewitches Ā· 25 days ago
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trying to think about wedding planning is making my brain melt
like ik itā€™ll be fine and weā€™ll figure it out but why are there so many things to do and why is a guest list such a nightmare šŸ˜­
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fauvester Ā· 2 years ago
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omg iskra going back in time auau- but like- garak seeing two random cardassians on the station with no explanation why they r there, and they seem to know him like- what. Would they try to avoid him so he dont sus them out? what about names? They obviously cant say their surnames. And Ziyal šŸ„ŗ (sorry this is just such a edible idea anyway)
AWOOOOGH GARAK WOULD BE SO INTRIGUED! you KNOW he'd be hiding behind promenade pylons trying to get a drop on any information about the two cardassians that the captain has let stay on the station during the war against cardassia! You KNOWWW he'd be desperately trying to make eye contact with them at quark's! AND YOU KNOW ISKRA WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO RESIST THE TEMPTATION!
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Unfortunately Idan is a first year starfleet student and like any student is deeply passionate about the letter and not the spirit of the law, and thinks that they should barricade themselves in their quarters so as to prevent temporal contradiction (as recommended in the textbook). Iskra, who graduated a cardassian jurisprudence apprenticeship and has a degree in comparative galactic law, recognizes that every set of regulations has loopholes just waiting to be tugged open and wiggled through. And that involves meeting all her aunts and uncles in their glory days, causing trouble, making cryptic remarks and flirting up a storm.
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They probably do ask sisko to get bashir and garak off the station to minimize interference (Iskra also requests several other random crewmembers be kicked out. Just so that there's no implication about future events.) But not before she gets to meet her yadek! (and maybe get hit on by s3 era julian, eugh)
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Iskra goes by her birth family name when she's not on Cardassia to minimize assassination attempts, so they're both Ghilanas (until SOMEONE hacks into the computer on their rented shuttle and finds their ID info...)
And also Ziyal... wary of two shiny young cardassians but still trying to put on a brave face...swept up by their openness and enthusiasm but deeply wary of the secret they seem to be hiding...
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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk Ā· 3 months ago
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tiktaaliker Ā· 4 months ago
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ITS BEEN A FUCKING WEEK. PASS THE DETRITUS
#howling#had a lvl 1 trauma at abt 720#which sucks but we were managing fine#call er back at 750 as protocol to ask if theyve transfused and if theyll need more and to make sure they have a t&s ordered#secretary confirms that both units were transfused + they wont be needing more (lol) + a type and screen WAS drawn just not ordered yet#ok cool. all i have to do is wait for the specimen so i can crossmatch the units#im chilling in bloodbank doing bloodbank things#meanwhile. er calls the front desk (blood bank has a separate phone line. they specifically called the lab line instead)#lab assistant takes the call (like normal). theyre not sure what er said exactly but theyre planning to transfer the patient somewhere#and mentioned 'something like mpp???'#midnight tech was upfront and overheard. immediately asked if they meant MTP#lab assistant wasnt sure but said she had asked if er wanted to talk to blood bank (aka me) and they said no#both the assistant and the tech assumed that they DIDNT actually mean mtp because that would be fucking bonkers#if they casually mention it to a lab assistant and NOT FUCKING BLOOD BANK#and i didnt hear about this phone call until like maybe an hour or two later btw#anyways. yeah no they called an MTP#thats always fucking awful but they DID bring down the t&s partway thru#patient had no history and the only other specimens on file were drawn at the same time#so i order a confirmatory type to make things easier later on. it needs to be drawn by either the nursing team or by a lab assistant#screen is negative so at least we only need to do an immediate spin crossmatch on everything#we get all the units emergency issued + the platelets are ordered and issued normally after the t&s is done since it doesnt need a xmatch#er cancels the mtp. theyve transfused 6 out of the 8 units we sent them. two remaining units being sent to or#or is told directly that the mtp was canceled and that theyd need to call a new one if things escalate again#ok. things are calming down. its fine. i got all the xmatches done and theyre all compatible which is great#we get in a delivery from arc of platelets bringing us back up to 6 on the shelf (we need 5 on hand tomorrow morning for an open heart)#(at this point i find out about the phone call i mentioned earlier)#i get a call from or. my heart sinks immediately#or nurse says they need 2 rbcs and 2 platelets and theyre sending someone down RIGHT NOW to pick it up#we still hadnt gotten that confirmatory btw#im too stunned to say anything else so i just go ok. and hang up
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glittertimes Ā· 8 months ago
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I think I finally understand whatā€™s at the root of all my weird little problems and why I have such a hard time connecting with my body.
I do so much work to read and be smart as a defensive mechanism because Iā€™m a really kind caring person and that makes me a little naive and I look a lot younger than I am so I feel like people think Iā€™m easy to manipulate.
But then thereā€™s a part of me that feels like itā€™s not safe to be smart, and that sounds so weird and counterintuitive but I realized itā€™s because Iā€™m terrified of being seen.
Like if Iā€™m smart Iā€™m going to have to act on it and challenge people and thatā€™ll bring attention on me that I donā€™t want to deal with so Iā€™ll continue to be the kind naive nice girl even if people are mistreating me because itā€™s not safe to be seen itā€™s not safe to be smart.
Like my body will not use basic protection methods like setting boundaries, saying no or standing up for myself because that requires me to get over that fear of being seen. Like my body fears being seen more than it fears being mistreated and thatā€™s kind of terrifying.
#itā€™s why my nervous system is so dysregulated because all the methods of healing and getting better require being seen#and having vulnerable conversations that feel scary and overwhelming to my nervous system#thatā€™s learned that to be safe I have to hide and not take up a lot of space#and I know I learned that directly in my abusive house and elementary school where if I did like one thing wrong Iā€™d have a teacher#screaming in my face even though I was a literal child going through abuse at home#so I was never taught emotional regulation or how to interact with people in a healthy way#Iā€™ve also had a lot of friends who didnā€™t like when I was smarter or better at something than them and they would get insecure#and immediately try to put me down to make themselves feel better so that reinforced that it wasnā€™t safe to stand out and be smart#partially because I didnā€™t want to hurt other peopleā€™s feelings and partially because I learned it made me vulnerable to criticism#I didnā€™t understand why I always end up being friends with people who are kind of manipulative/ people who donā€™t genuinely like me and see#me as this punching bag to take out their insecurities and unhealed trauma#but I think these people feel safe in a way because I know theyā€™ll never see me and I wonā€™t have to be super vulnerable#I also donā€™t really trust myself and Iā€™m so scared of being mean or hurting other people because my teachers called me mean and entitled and#disrespectful all the time bc I didnā€™t know how to communicate that I felt mistreated and scared in their classrooms#and any attempts I tried to do it in a healthy way ended with me getting punished anyway#I remember I tried to write a letter to my parents because I didnā€™t want to be in my 2nd grad teacherā€™s class anymore bc she was really mean#to me and I was so hypervigilent of getting in trouble and I left the letter in a folder in my desk#and my teacher went through my desk and I got sent to the principalā€™s office over it even though I didnā€™t remember saying anything mean or#disrespectful in it I was literally just trying to advocate for myself and I got punished for that too#personal
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anotherpapercut Ā· 1 year ago
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this is dumb but it kinda sucks how I worked there for over 4 years, came in extra hours and skipped breaks, advertised for them and defended them including in the fucking legislation, and then I didn't even get the same going away party every single other employee of my department has gotten, including one who was there for like 3 months
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rosymiel Ā· 10 months ago
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i canā€™t WAIT for my pc to come in so that i can play fallout 76 with my boyfriend!!
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brothersonahotelbed Ā· 11 months ago
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i think one of the worst feelings is going into a brand new environment and not knowing if you'll be safe or accepted there so you dumb your identity down for people to understand better so there's as little weirdness or confrontation as possible with them
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