#I took a walk with my soul
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eru-iru · 1 year ago
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me and my need for bedman and faust friendship
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ferrettooth · 1 month ago
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why does entering a new grocery store feel like u are covered in blood head to toe... oh we got carrie up in here! give it up for the blood drenched woman buying a single set of pears
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shining-scion · 8 months ago
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Oh! I did design an actual sona!
I don’t think Starchaser is a valid last name but my whole motif is stars (gender BABYYYY) and my sona’s actual backstory involves her chasing some magic stuff down so
Starchaser.
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daydrinking75 · 5 days ago
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im just so fucking sad and scared all the time and its ruining my life
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kepnerandavery · 4 months ago
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The experience of watching Jackson trying to have a "relationship" with Maggie is like being forced to sit idle while watching your best friend make the most questionable life choices that will land them straight in therapy 😬 🤦‍♀️
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bawnjourno · 1 year ago
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i don’t have sewing pics from today to dump thoughts in the tags of so here r my boyz instead (charlie left joel right)
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zelena777 · 5 months ago
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6/10
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beeapocalypse · 1 year ago
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hey what do you mean pocketcat had daans soul
#walked up the museum and pocketcat comes out w a wheelchair. says olivia got lonely and wanted to join the party. went in and fought the--#--mechanical dance. map still said there was a contestant in there so i tracked down pocketcat. hey man why do you have daans checkered--#--pants. kill him and get the blank soul. loot him and get daans loot. okay ??????#like pocketcat is an entirely separate entity right. rhers light affects only the people themselves stripping their humanity away and--#--supposedly revealing their true nature but i bought fuckin skin bibles from pocketcat AS daan. is this some sort of possession situation-#--did pocketcat somehow take daans body. WHY did he do that if so#daans blank soul and the whole idea there of him following the lead of authority does lend credence to that idea. a total imposition of--#--pocketcats essence on daans body (while hes got daans pants + loot he says the same exact lines as he did b4 night3) or something#then theres the whole angle where pocketcat is a creep and there is NO way daan does not have issues around sex after getting raised in--#--the cult of sylvain. head in my hands#also pocketcats fight when alone is a BITCH. dont have the salmonsnake rune so i only get a few free turns w the armguards--#--b4 he insists i choose smth else / goes after black kalev instead. i am keeping this stupid goat alive the entire game this time around#small aside. rlly interesting implication that olivia held out against the moonscorching long enough that it took direct interference--#--from pocketcat to turn. does that always happen or is it bc i didnt find a wheelchair for her + thus she spent most of her time in the--#--protected train cabin ?
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cartoon-skeleton · 1 year ago
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I go through a quarter-life (actually probably mid-life considering climate change) crisis like every day of my life and it really kills my vibe i cannot lie
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rashfordian · 1 year ago
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daily shuffle ting 📸
#im having a mid crisis when im not even middle aged n i dont wanna go back to school#good day and good night. i wanna sink into the floor#bc a football club i decided to support with my heart n soul has betrayed me n i dont even like to watch games anymore#also im reading a drarry fanfiction like im 13 again.#and my skin is awful. and and and im having a crisis n so many emotions that i dont even know where they stem from#i cant even smile properly anymore ive been facial training again bc ive slacked during covid n now —#i dont know how to my eyes have expresseds n i dont know how to smile or look like i care and i TOOK A HARDER HISTORY CLASS FOR NO REASONNN#I DONT EVEN LIKE HISTORYYYYYYYY#and i hate everything n ive been avoiding all my friends n texting ppl less n im just in a Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#i feel worthless n disgusting n my first thought when i wake up is 'i gotta take my acnetame and maybe if i deserve it i can shave my legs'#i naired one of them— my right. she is smooth in ways she hasnt been in a while. my left? chewbacca#n my school changed my passwords for my canvas so now tmr at 1:30 !! I GOTTA WALK UP THERE N GET MY NEW PERSONAL INFORMATION#the clothes i bought i didnt rlly like. but i just wanted to leave the store n make my grandmother happy. now im going into the school year#with clothes i hate n they dont feel gpod and theyre Not the right texture theyre too tight. But not in ways i love theyre too Tight.#n i .s.msneenen all my shoes r blk !!!! theyre all blk !!!!#sjsndjddjd and my hair !!!! my hair!!!!@ sjdjdjdu#God i just wanna lay in my room take showers n rot#roll around and hit myself on my headboard so hard i go into coma n i miss my entire year#n then i fuck off to hershey for chocolate bars and chocolate bags#cant even scrapbook right itsall paint its all paint n aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im in agony bc im not even saying whats rlly wrong with me#im focusing on the little problems and not the one it stims from. Like a web but if the spider only hang off the edge n never the middle#n everyone keeps talking at me n when i respond they yell at me for everything n i get pushed to the side#bc they hate whatever i have to say for whatever reason n wtv ig i hate them back. always pushing me down fuck them fuck them get out.#n now my friend is texting me her stuff after never speaking to me unless she has a problem#Anyways. sorry sorry. im whining im complaining im really depressed rn n def not in the right headspace to post any of this#or talk to anyone who is reading this. this probably doesnt make sense i left holes in my sentences#so sorry super sorry#that is a photo of me as a baby btw. it is the only one. please love her and maybe tell her she has nice eyebrows. she'd love that#we always take rlly good care of our eyebrows. thats a rule. we just plucked them today#anyways. see you. ill post hp gifs later n forger i ever felt bad to beginning. all of the best.
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faaun · 1 year ago
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whenever i think/talk abt a "you" it's at least 5 different people usually
#ive been thinking about how you separated the star of david into triangles and taught me about the equilibrium about as above so below#are we in equilibrium? ive been thinking about the star of david and the rest in peace beneath it#fuck the fascists and fuck how they took you and fuck how theyll take everyone. am i good at analysis?#it turns out weve all been lying a lot. it turns out the person weve all lied the most to was ourselves.#ive been thinking about your 5 journals and a whole week of crying just to realise our sin. you felt like a nucleus inside a fuzz of#electrons and i felt like the fuzz of electrons. we caught a ribbon and followed it past the point of discomfort#this is how you breathe so that you dont die and this is how you breathe so that you do. on your own terms.#i am going to be a good architect. i am going to be a good engineer. i am going to be a good neuroscientist. i am going to be good.#i reserve the label for being a let-go-of-labels person. i am going to be the one who lets go of identifiers#and make it my identity. how do you achieve constant bliss? separate the nucleus and the fuzz.#suffering from the impact of the self and the self-image، you told me about the bliss of separation.#okay. let them hate the cloud. youre inside of it all. i am nothing. this is not a label for the self. mereology is a lovely thing.#baby you are ripping through all these spiderwebs just to live. this is part of the normal developmental process. i am surrounded by people#who throw sums of millions out of their mouths like any other lovely word. i cant stand the thought of your loss#except only in theory. ive been thinking about the bird with the broken wing in florence and how we stood around it until#two friends picked it up and took it home in hopes of nursing him back to flight. ive been thinking about how we are designed to care#for each other. tomorrow you will have your dreams crushed. the day after you will keep going. we are sharing#in the wonders of being perceiving beings. isnt that enough? why do you need to perceive the monstrosity of your own soul? is it#because i love you? is it because you love yourself? you love yourself enough to allow yourself to feel the terrible corners of you.#you can finally stand on your own. you can only stumble forward until you walk for the first time.
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thinkingnot · 2 years ago
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just woke up its nearly 2am but i gotta listen to taylor swift to confirm something
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iamthescalesofjustice · 2 years ago
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had a locked tomb dream in which one of gideons lowkey-only-bc-she-glosses-over-it-in-her-narration powers was teleportation as in she fucking kept teleporting and didnt seem to notice or think it was weird and when people called her on it she was like ‘yeah its called flash-stepping i read about it in some ancient-ass comic books i dug up in a back corner of the library on the ninth’ and everyone is like ‘???’ bc she says its not a necromantic technique bc everyone who did in it the ‘comic books’ (only the sixth know what manga is) she read was a warrior and most of them used swords so clearly its a secret advanced cav technique. and, she says, its not like it uses any spooky necro stuff, its ‘just a matter of honing yourself until you can move really fast’ so it might look like ‘teleportation’ to all of them but clearly that just shows that she got really good at it and is better than all of their fancy smancy ‘properly trained’ cavs. anyway, it turns out that using flashstep as the framework is the only reason why its been short line-of-sight bursts for her until now, once the penny drops she can straight up pop between planets. also she at one point mentions how ‘the wind’ roars really loudly in her ears while doing it and it turns out thats the sounds of the feral river ghosts bc she is, and i cannot stress this enough, constantly taking brief dips into the river. 
#also this time canaan house was derailed by a teleportation accident and they all ended up in bayou country#which in my brain was only at like. somewhat apocalyptic levels of having rotted and been reclaimed by nature rather than 10k years worth#i assume my brain drew some l4d connection here bc gideon ended up stealing a white suit from a dusty wedding store which didnt quite#achieve the full tower prince look but which did passably reach 'nick l4d cosplay' a#also yes the rest of the planet was still pretty haunted. not canaan house mad science lab levels of haunted but it was definitely#more active of a haunting by which i mean there were zombies and creatures and ghosts and during the first of the regular possession checks#that the canaan house crew ended up instituting after a few incidents it was discovered that gideon and harrow#were both possessed at least a little by wake and alecto respectively and possibly counted as being lyctors bc like. gideon just by existin#had ended up tying wakes soul to the conglomerate pile of earth-ghost souls that constituted johns lyctorhood with alecto and that by#maing a connection to harrow like she did alecto also tied harrow into the same. when john showed up towards the end he defended his#sabotage of other attempts at lyctorhood outside the technique defined and oushed at canaan house as being bc it gets 'way too complicated#and messy (both necromanticly & in terms of personal drama & trying to keep track of who is where) to allow multiple bodies running around#as part of the same soul network#also to escape the first gids had to take everyone one by one to the ninth#bc its the only other planet shes been on and thus knows how to get to#and 1) everyone is like damn yall live like this? 2) the secrets of the ninth are exposed to the whole canaan crew by this 3) everyone is#severely adversely affected by going through the river like this and gideon is mostly like 'dont be a baby lmao just walk it off'#4) yes its still cytheria and yes she is having the time of her goddamn life. whatever the fuck is going on with *gestures at the ninth* is#both something shes possibly the only one equipped to fully understand how insane it is and also revealing to her so much about potential#ways to kill john that she is just rolling with it despite the fact that dulcie latched ontoher when gideon took her through the river and#is fully attempting to possess her with the full support of the sixth
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roseseafoam · 2 years ago
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@leadmetosymphonies
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buriedeep · 3 days ago
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anyways don’t be a stranger
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acourtofquestions · 16 days ago
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KINGDOM OF ASH (by SJM)
Chapter 48
THE FAMILY REUINION🥹😆😭🫶& MY SOULLL
But when they reached Princess Hasar's battle tent, when they had all gathered around a map of Anielle, they had only a few minutes of discussion before they were interrupted. By the person Chaol least expected to walk through the flaps.
A moment later, Chaol was glad he was sitting down.
Nesryn breathed, "Holy gods."
Chaol was inclined to agree as Aelin Galathynius, Rowan Whitethorn, and several others entered the tent.
They were mud-splattered, the Queen of Terrasen's braided hair far longer than Chaol had last seen. And her eyes ... Not the soft, yet fiery gaze. But something older. Wearier.
Chaol shot to his feet. "I thought you were in Terrasen," he blurted. All the reports had confirmed it. Yet here she stood, no army in sight.
Three Fae males-towering warriors as broad and muscled as Rowan—had entered, along with a delicate, dark-haired human woman.
But Aelin was only staring at him. Staring and staring at him.
No one spoke as tears began sliding down her face. Not at his being here, Chaol realized as he took up his cane and limped toward Aelin.
But at him. Standing. Walking.
The young queen let out a broken laugh of joy and flung her arms around his neck. Pain lanced down his spine at the impact, but Chaol held her right back, every question fading from his tongue.
Aelin was shaking as she pulled away. "I knew you would," she breathed, gazing down his body, to his feet, then up again. "I knew you'd do it."
"Not alone," he said thickly. Chaol swallowed, releasing Aelin to extend an arm behind him. To the woman he knew stood there, a hand over the locket at her neck.
Perhaps Aelin would not remember, perhaps their encounter years ago had meant nothing to her at all, but Chaol drew Yrene forward. "Aelin, allow me to introduce"
"Yrene Towers," the queen breathed as his wife stepped to his side.
The two women stared at each other.
Yrene's mouth quivered as she opened the silver locket and pulled out a piece of paper. Hands trembling, she extended it to the queen. Aelin's own hands shook as she accepted the scrap.
"Thank you," Yrene whispered.
Chaol supposed it was all that really needed to be said.
Aelin unfolded the paper, reading the note she'd written, seeing the lines from the hundreds of foldings and rereadings these past few years.
"I went to the Torre," Yrene said, her voice cracking. "I took the money you gave me, and went to the Torre. And I became the heir apparent to the Healer on High. And now I have come back, to do what I can. I taught every healer I could the lessons you showed me that night, about self-defense. I didn't waste it-not a coin you gave me, or a moment of the time, the life you bought me." Tears were rolling and rolling down Yrene's face. "I didn't waste any of it."
Aelin closed her eyes, smiling through her own tears, and when she opened them, she took Yrene's shaking hands. "Now it is my turn to thank you." But Aelin's gaze fell upon the wedding band on Yrene's finger, and when she glanced to Chaol, he grinned.
"No longer Yrene Towers," Chaol said softly, "but Yrene Westfall."
Aelin let out one of those choked, joyous laughs, and Rowan stepped up to her side.
Yrene's head tilted back to take in the warrior's full height, her eyes widening-not only at Rowan's size, but at the pointed ears, the slightly elongated canines and tattoo. Aelin said, "Then let me introduce you, Lady Westfall, to my own husband, Prince Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius."
For that was indeed a wedding band on the queen's finger, the emerald mud-splattered but bright. On Rowan's own hand, a gold-and-ruby ring gleamed.
"My mate," Aelin added, fluttering her lashes at the Fae male. Rowan rolled his eyes, yet couldn't entirely contain his smile as he inclined his head to Yrene.
Yrene bowed, but Aelin snorted. "None of that, please. It'll go right to his immortal head." Her grin softened as Yrene blushed, and Aelin held up the scrap of paper. "May I keep this?" She eyed Yrene's locket. "Or does it go in there?"
Yrene folded the queen's fingers around the paper. "It is yours, as it always was. A piece of your bravery that helped me find my own."
Aelin shook her head, as if to dismiss the claim.
But Yrene squeezed Aelin's closed hand. "It gave me courage, the words you wrote. Every mile I traveled, every long hour I studied and worked, it gave me courage. I thank you for that, too."
Aelin swallowed hard, and Chaol took that as excuse enough to sit again, his back giving a grateful tinge. He said to the queen, "There is another person responsible for this army being here." He gestured to Nesryn, the woman already smiling at the queen. "The rukhin you see, the army gathered, is as much because of Nesryn as it is because of me."
A spark lit Aelin's eyes, and both women met halfway in a tight embrace. "I want to hear the entire story," Aelin said. "Every word of it." Nesryn's subdued smile widened. "So you shall. But later." Aelin clapped her on the shoulder and turned to the two royals still by the desk. Tall and regal, but as mud-splattered as the queen.
Chaol blurted, "Dorian?"
Rowan answered, "Not with us." He glanced to the royals.
"They know everything," Nesryn said
"He's with Manon," Aelin said simply.
Chaol wasn't entirely sure whether to be relieved. "Hunting for something important."
The keys. Holy gods.
Aelin nodded. Later. He'd think on where Dorian might now be later. Aelin nodded again. The full story would come then too.
Nesryn said, "May I present Princess Hasar and Prince Sartaq."
Aelin bowed—low. "You have my eternal gratitude," Aelin said, and the voice that came out of her was indeed that of a queen. Any shock Sartaq and Hasar had shown upon the queen bowing so low was hidden as they bowed back, the portrait of courtly grace.
"My father," Sartaq said, "remained in the khaganate to oversee our lands, along with our siblings Duva and Arghun. But my brother Kashin sails with the rest of the army. He was not two weeks behind us when we left."
Aelin glanced to Chaol, and he nodded.
Something glittered in her eyes at the confirmation, but the queen jerked her chin at Hasar. "Did you get my letter?"
The letter that Aelin had sent months ago, begging for aid and promising only a better world in return. Hasar picked at her nails. "Perhaps. I get far too many letters from fellow princesses these days to possibly remember or answer all of them."
Aelin smirked, as if the two of them spoke a language no one else could understand, a special code between two equally arrogant and proud women. But she motioned to her companions, who stepped forward. "Allow me to introduce my friends. Lord Gavriel, of Doranelle." A nod toward the tawny-eyed and golden-haired warrior who bowed.
Tattoos covered his neck, his hands, but his every motion was graceful. "My uncle, of sorts," Aelin added with a smirk at Gavriel. At Chaol's narrowed brows, she explained, "He's Aedion's father."
"Well, that explains a few things," Nesryn muttered.
The hair, the broad-planed face ... yes, it was the same. But where Aedion was fire, Gavriel seemed to be stone. Indeed, his eyes were solemn as he said, "Aedion is my pride." Emotion rippled over Aelin's face, but she gestured to the dark-haired male. Not someone Chaol ever wanted to tangle with, he decided as he surveyed the granite-hewn features, the black eyes and unsmiling mouth.
"Lorcan Salvaterre, formerly of Doranelle, and now a blood-sworn member of my court." As if that weren't a shock enough, Aelin winked at the imposing male. Lorcan scowled. "We're still in the adjustment period," she loudly whispered, and Yrene chuckled.
Lorcan Salvaterre. Chaol hadn't met the male this spring in Rifthold, but he'd heard all about him. That he'd been Maeve's most trusted commander, her most loyal and fierce warrior.
That he'd wanted to kill Aelin, hated Aelin.
How this had come about, why she was not in Terrasen with her army ... "You, too, have a tale to tell," Chaol said.
"Indeed I do." Aelin's eyes guttered, and Rowan put a hand on her lower back. Bad— something terrible had occurred. Chaol scanned Aelin for any hint of it. He stopped when he noticed the smoothness of the skin at her neck. The lack of scars. The missing scars on her hands, her palms. "Later," Aelin said softly. She straightened her shoulders, and another golden-haired male came forward. Beautiful. That was the only way to describe him. "Fenrys ... You know, I don't actually know your family name."
Fenrys threw a roguish wink at the queen.
"Moonbeam."
"It is not," Aelin hissed, choking on a laugh.
Fenrys laid a hand on his heart. "I am blood-sworn to you. Would I lie?"
Another blood-sworn Fae male in her court.
Across the tent, Sartaq cursed in his own tongue. As if he'd heard of Lorcan, and Gavriel, and Fenrys.
Aelin gave Fenrys a vulgar gesture that set Hasar chuckling, and faced the royals. "They're barely housebroken. Hardly fit for your fine company." Even Sartaq smiled at that. But it was to the small, delicate woman that Aelin now gestured. "And the only civilized member of my court, Lady Elide Lochan of Perranth." Perranth. Chaol had combed through the family trees of Terrasen just this winter, had seen the lists of so many royal households crossed out, victim to the conquest ten years ago.
Elide's name had been among them.
Another Terrasen royal who had managed to evade Adarlan's butchers.
The pretty young woman took a limping step forward, and bobbed a curtsy to the royals. Her boots concealed any sign of the source of the injury, but Yrene's attention shot right to her leg. Her ankle. "It's an honor to meet all of you," Elide said, her voice low and steady. Her dark eyes swept over them, cunning and clear. Like she could see beneath their skin and bones, to the souls beneath.
Aelin wiped her hands. "Well, that's over and done with," she announced, and strode to the desk and map. "Shall we discuss where you all plan to march once we beat the living shit out of this army?"
#NO SPOILERS PLEASE (though warning for the chapter in post & tags) this is my first read along with me & more reacts in tags etc#Chaorene Rowaelin Elorcan MOONBEAM this chapter has EVERYTHING so it needed its own post mark-if only it had Dorian than it would be PERFECT#A PROPER MAASVERSE REUINION-FULL CIRCLE-& me squealing in wivern happy in sappy like🥹 crying giggling & kicking my feet in excitement#Aelin Sardothien&HER CADRE/Court; her calling them all that — MOONBEAM finally lol how has this not come up or Lorcan tease or Rowan cheerin#she really nails these scenes-break my heart make my day-like QoS but ow&healingX100-my bbs are happy-TAB REFS-THE DYNAMICS-the wives meet!#Ivory horsehair for times of peace; the Ebony for times of war. — significance in tiny details-It was holy-the gold couch lol-SHES PREGGERS#To sit down even for a few minutes would be a blessed relief. — the difference from TOD - lol only Hasar could get interior design rn#to be the first piece of furniture in the home he'd build for his wife. For the child she carried.—shewastheoneheleastexpectedtoseeomg#holding hands even in blood-the ruler but wished to know-close to disaster-flood?that’s bad for fire/maybe she can steam-HOLY GODS INDEED#a moment later Chaol was glad he was sitting-as Aelin Galathynius Rowan Whitethorn and several others entered. Mud splattered. Too long hair#And her eyes ... Not the soft yet fiery gaze. But something older. Wearier.-the young queens gaze again-but a queen nonetheless-HE STOOD#Not at his being here as he took up his cane and limped toward Aelin But him Standing Walking-my soul needed this back-the core tale trio#The young queen let out a broken laugh of joy-broken but still joy-and flung her arms around his neck-the fact she wanted to hug him—#the ache & healing they both felt-but Chaol held her right back every question fading from his tongue.-Fire lance?-she’s shaking again#The way she gives him belief-then there she is-she remembered-her core-no one does anything alone-to say I’m happy for you & mean it vibes#hand over the locket-Yrene Towers the queen breathed as his wife stepped 2 his side The women stared at eachother-YRENE WESTFALL-notCelaena#I knew youd do it-goes both ways-Thank you-those words in this book-it was all that really needed to be said-smiling through tears#Aelin closed her eyes smiling through her own tears and when she opened them she took Yrene's shaking hands-choked joyous laughs-MY SOUL#Rowan stepped up to her side-Aelin said Lady Westfall my husband Prince Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius-the my wife we deserved#emerald mud-splattered but bright-she sure got those emeralds dropping hints literally in EoS-pine green-Nesryn Aelin friendship core#My mate Aelin added fluttering her lashes Rowan rolled his eyes yet couldn't entirely contain his smile-next quote why I luv books/TOG#May I keep this?She eyed the locket.Or does it go in there?Its yours as it always was.A piece of ur bravery that helped me find my own#It gave me courage the words you wrote. Every mile I traveled every long hour I studied and worked it gave me courage. I thank you#A spark lit Aelins eyes&both women met halfway in a tight embrace I want to hear the entire story Aelin said Every word of it#They know everything-Ok WELL MANON lol-The keys Holy gods-the story would come then too-true queen-she bowed for them#the voice that came out of her was indeed that of a queen-THEY BOWED BACK-the portrait of courtly grace lol-the letter worked well#Aelin smirked as if the2of them spoke a language no one else could understand 2equally arrogant&proud women-hell yes I needed them#My friends-uncleLOL-my pride-AelinswinkLorcylol-how had this come about?-guttered-Rowan put a hand on her lower back Bad#gestureHasar😂-only civilized Lady Elides name had been crossed out-the1sthat escaped-CunningClear-she could see beneath to the soul#I am sworn2uWould I lie-cursedAs if he'd heard of LorcanGavrielFenrys-where to march once we beat the living shit out of this army-Vher
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