#I think that’s my problem she doesn’t see nuance that well

[ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes]

I was talking to my flat mate who said we’ve become way too addicted to our phones and it’s like,, yes I agree with her but I gotta push back a little bc I know she wakes up at shit in the morning and scrolls social media bc of FOMO and then goes back to sleep again and I can’t pretend that’s the standard

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

Okay. The thing is - we’ll never get everything from this show, we’ll never get to see everything play out. The conversations will always be fractioned and half. It’s a prime time network show that gives us 45 minutes of screen time each episode spread out between a whole cast of characters and plot lines and action sequences.

And my point with that is: Everything outside of what we see in canon is >us< filling in the blanks, interpreting and basically finishing the characters and the storylines.

If you dislike a character or storyline, a large amount of what you dislike will be of your own making. Which means that you created that negative take, only to be negative about it.

If a character isn’t giving all their background and reasons, or isn’t providing what you find to be a sufficient apology for what you believe is a ‘wrong doing’ then that’s you deciding that their reasons were bad instead of valid. You deciding to go ‘I hate this character bc they didn’t apologize’ instead of going ‘I trust that this character apologized but I hate that we didn’t get to see it’ or even ‘I hate that they wrote this character as not apologizing’.

And like. Just because I love these characters and this show or a certain storyline doesn’t mean I think we can’t be critical of it. And it doesn’t mean I expect everyone else to love anything or everything about it. And mostly with this negativity for negativity’s sake, it just makes me think ‘well people are weird’.

Because I literally don’t get watching a show you don’t like and then spending time posting about it using that show’s fandom tags, or painting a character in a bad light just so you can feel negative about it. I don’t get going for drama and negativity when you can go for joy. I get criticizing or even hating the writing, talking about writing that might be problematic, and not resonating with the way a storyline or a character is written, but I don’t get hating a Character that is, in fact, not real and can never be fully fleshed out in a show like this.

But the problem is also when these takes either:

1.) are meant for and created to deliberately reach into other people’s place of joy and create drama.

And, even more so, 2.) when they are racist, ableist, misogynistic in nature and thus are doing real harm to real people. Which, is in fact very much the case when TK is called a ‘twink’ and that term is meant as derogatory or his addiction is being used against him; when Carlos isn’t being emphasized with at all, and attempted to be understood for his reasons, feelings and actions, or isn’t allowed to have complicated, ‘negative’ emotions but is expected to be there to be TK’s ever perfect and present support rock; when Iris is being called words like crazy, or other derogatory terms and her illness or trauma isn’t acknowledged, or she’s being painted stereotypically and as an un-nuanced character bc of her mental illness.

And I don’t get it bc we literally see TK being strong for and supporting Carlos several times in canon. We see Carlos developing and working on his insecurities, educating himself on addiction to best be there for TK. We are told where those insecurities come from. We saw TK’s struggles with active addiction. We literally saw Carlos’ dad being shot in his own home wearing the tux he was supposed to wear as Carlos’ best man, just when their relationship and old wounds were on the mend, heard his mother, who watched it happen, scream down the line while on the phone with Carlos, who also heard it happen. We don’t see anybody but Carlos seeking justice, and we still see Carlos making an effort to spend quality time with TK and communicate openly with him. And we saw TK going to bed without his husband not for the first time, knowing that he’s in pain and that grief has previously let him to feel alone and to close up and end up in a dangerous and unhealthy place, where TK couldn’t reach him or help him. We know that there is past trauma and experience for TK that will make him recognize patterns and make him worry for both Carlos’ wellbeing, and for their marrriage.

And, we see them loving, caring for and forgiving each other through it all. We see a relationship with two people who are not always right, not always perfect, but who are doing the best they can and being by each other’s sides through that. We see nuanced and realistic conflicts with root in both of their trauma. [And loving one character and trusting their judgement but not trusting their love and evaluation of the other is just very difficult for me to understand.]

Everything apart from that, the thoughts, feelings and motivations we assign them, the moments, conversations and apologies we imagine or don’t imagine to have taken place, how two characters came from having a conflict to saying ‘I love you’/‘I forgive you’, or to being friends and dancing at a wedding, what lead characters to say “I’ll keep a light on”/“I feel like we’re starting to drift apart”/“we’re doing great”, what else they might have said, and what they might have felt in that situation, is stuff we make up and put into the story. And so it is up to us whether we try and understand and love these characters or whether we want to make them into bad people, and then hate them for it.

[geegers22]

I’ve seen lots of conversation on here about Zutara shippers opinions on aang and mai and i thought I’d give my point of view.

I want to start by saying that I think there should be more of a distinction between disliking a character because they are a bad person and disliking a character because they are written badly. With that being said, I can confidently say that, with the material of the main ATLA show, I dislike Aang and Mai because they are badly written characters. Meaning, if their arcs were properly finished, I would have no problems with them. This brings me to another topic of how I don’t really ‘hate’ characters who are bad people if they’re well written but that’s a conversation for another post.

I need to point out that I didn’t start disliking Aang and Mai until they had their arcs undermined when Kataang and Maiko became canon. With the arcs they were going on, they had so much potential to be really interesting and I enjoyed their personalities.

When it comes to Aang, I had no problem with him as a character until season 3 part 2 when I started to realize that his world view (which is flawed based solely on the fact that he is young and there is no way he’s going to have a nuanced pov) was not going to be challenged. Aang should have had to give up katara. Aang should not have just had everything handed to him with the lion turtle and the pointy rock.

Then there’s the southern raiders which I would argue, if Aang’s arc had been completed, would not illicit as many conversations and arguments about it as it currently has. Because his actions in that episode make sense (Sokkas don’t really but again-that’s another story) because he’s a kid. This episode should have been a big decider of his change in worldview. The problem is that the creators decided his flaws didn’t exist and that he was perfect. (At 12 years old?!?!?)

Then there’s Mai. She’s a much smaller character but that doesn’t mean she deserves less of an arc. Mai is a character whose personality I love! (I’m all for gloomy depressed women!) There’s two ways Mai’s character could have developed, and I think both options are great, the problem is that Bryke decided to go in neither direction.

On the one hand, Mai could have been a representation of unlearning the propaganda she was taught in the fire nation throughout her whole life. I think this direction would make Maiko more believable, although I still don’t think they are a good couple because their personalities create a toxic dynamic and Mai’s story with Zuko is meant to represent that toxicity.

The second option would be to have her views not change, like we see in the show, and have her not get back together with Zuko. This is the more interesting path in my opinion because it’s more realistic. I don’t think the problem with Mai’s arc lies with her personal views of the fire nation, more so with her relationship with Zuko. As we have it in the show, Mai’s views don’t change. Therefor, it doesn’t make sense for her character or for Zuko’s for them to get back together like nothing ever happened.

When it comes down to it. Both Aang and Mai had their arcs sabotaged because the creators rejected Zutara. Even without Zuko and Katara getting together these were the wrong decisions. Both characters had potential to be well written, but in the end, the creators chose the path didn’t allow that to happen because they just couldn’t kill their darling. (Kataang)

Sorry for rambling, this is kind of just my take on the whole “Zutara shippers hate Aang and Mai” take.

[byoldervine]

Writing Tips - Overarching Themes

A lot of stories like to have overarching themes, such as themes of redemption, acceptance, ruthlessness, love, etc. But how do you come up with the themes for your story?

1. Don’t lose the plot. What kind of journey does your plot take your characters on? What do they achieve and what do they learn along the way? Off the top of my head Miraculous Ladybug doesn’t do a great job at portraying an overarching theme of ‘love conquers all’ when love repeatedly causes problems for the heroes (to the point of “It was our love that destroyed the world” being one of the most memorable lines) and only seems to benefit the villains. Let the plot help keep you on the right track

2. Ask a question. There are tons of themes that rely on asking a question and pitting two different virtues against each other; traditional vs modern, redemption vs damnation, nature vs nurture, etc. The theme of the story is then watching one conquer the other, or finding out where the balance lies between the two if that’s more applicable. ATLA was, of course, very good at handling the nuances in redemption and damnation; it showed people learning they need to change, people wanting to change, people choosing not to change, people trying and failing to change, and even people with the capacity to change only if they take it. The episode The Southern Raiders is also a masterclass in nuance in revenge vs forgiveness, and ultimately allows the audience to form their own conclusions

3. Add a twist. One thing that really intrigues me about EPIC: The Musical is how the overarching theme is ruthlessness vs mercy - with the lesson being that main character Odysseus needs to be more ruthless. You don’t get a lot of stories that teach ruthlessness as the good and correct answer over mercy, that you should kill a defeated opponent rather than letting them live, and that makes the story so much more interesting and unique. If you can think of a way to intentionally twist the expected outcome of your overarching theme, see if you can make it work within the story

4. It’s overarching for a reason. Make sure your overarching themes are evident in the story and impact the characters and their decisions, as well as the consequences for such. Hazbin Hotel has an obvious overarching theme of redemption, and you can see it in the way each episode plays out that redemption comes into it, whether it’s Vaggie regaining her wings when learning to fight for love rather than vengeance, Charlie giving Alastor the chance to work in the hotel despite knowing he doesn’t believe in her goals, Husk encouraging Angel’s character growth and his true nature, etc. Almost everything the characters do relates back to the theme of redemption and betterment

5. Reward the theme. Maybe in the past characters have been burned before and no longer believe in your overarching theme, but the course of the story changes their perspective. The Owl House has overarching themes of non-conformity and individualism and acceptance of those who are ‘weird’ or different, and they all culminate in Luz finally feeling understood for the first time in her life after never feeling that way. Attempts in the past to be understood have often been met with people labelling her as the weird kid or her being punished, and then throughout the story there’s a lot of people that accept Luz, but in more of an “I don’t get what you’re saying, but I get what you’re trying to say” kind of way; acceptance and understanding aren’t quite the same. And lacking acceptance has negative impacts in the story for good and bad characters alike; Luz is at her most powerful when she accepts both the human and witch side of her rather than comparing herself to Azura, Amity’s potential for redemption comes only when she accepts Luz as a witch, Belos loses his power when he’s no longer accepted by others, etc. Characters are rewarded for following the overarching theme and punished for straying

[alyona11]

Ok time for my big Hadestown hot take and that’s that West End Hadestown doesn’t give you a 100% Hadestown experience. It’s still ridiculously good and 100% worth seeing, don’t get me wrong (I used my opportunity and saw it twice and will likely see it again if I’m in London), but it kinda made me realise a couple of things about OBC production that will always be my Roman Empire and make me deeply upset Broadway is too greedy to give us an OBC proshot.

So, here are some of my thoughts and reflections based on seeing Hadestown live on West End + seeing different versions (including London National theatre proshot) in boots. I think you can pretty solidly say that in Hadestown there are 2 main stories: Orpheus/Eurydice and Hades/Persephone. And even though arguably Orphedice is the main most important story, it my opinion it also wins from Hadesphone story being strong. Which works perfectly in OBC due to Amber Gray and Patrick Page delivering a very deep nuanced performances as their characters.

I think part of the success of Hadestown when it works on its fullest is how it creates a very deep emotional journey. And I feel that regardless which pair of Orpheus and Eurydice you have (if we take Broadway/tour/West End take on the characters) it’ll still work! Like you need to try really hard to mess up orphedice the way people wouldn’t root for Orpheus or wouldn’t empathise with Eurydice because they are so relatable and cute. You instantly love them, they are so so lovable. So orphedice part is one thing in Hadestown that imo works if not always then in 99% of the cases.

Hades and Persephone’s part of the story in the contrary is VERY hard to nail on 100%, in my opinion, and this is literally driving me crazy. Maybe seeing Amber Gray and Patrick page in professional recording awoken some feelings in me, I don’t know. I will state straight away that I also do enjoy other actors’ takes on characters and I do see some very interesting character moments there and there. However, I keep returning to the thought that Amber/Patrick’s characterisation works SO WELL for the main narrative. I’ll try to explain why I think so. Consider it my love letter to the OBC.

First and foremost, I feel like Hadesphone story has a very fine dynamic that the actors have to nail, so you would feel that: 1) these two still love each other; 2) these two are buried under their problems and see no way out, only a miracle (aka Orpheus and his song) can save their marriage.

And if the first one usually works at least due to Epic 3, the second one, imo, often (at least partially) falls victim to acting/directing choices which can cause troubles with point 1 as well. I think one big thing I’ve noticed is that often Persephone’s alcoholism gets forgotten in the acting performance. Like yeah sure her choreography includes drinking from a flask but in comparison to Amber you never get a feeling that she is absolutely wasted. Which, is in my opinion something that you should feel when you’re watching the show and something I was constantly forgetting about when I was watching the show on West End. I feel in Amber’s performance you can constantly see that her Persephone’s feel good attitude is a façade of a broken person who knows that her marriage is going to hell in front of her eyes yet she is too passive and hopeless to try to make an active change (well, she does try in Chant and nothing happens), so her only way is to chase the sense of normality that the “medicine” gives her. But when she is alone, if you get to catch a moment when people are not looking at her, you can see a deep sadness under her positive front and her memory of the old days when everything was more simple. Nevertheless, the main point that the lyrics literally say is that Persephone is blinded by the river of wine. And this is crucial to her character and her relationship with Hades because the story states that even though Hades is a problem and he is an active actor in creating more problems, he is not the only failure in this relationship. Persephone needs to be woken up from her apathy almost as much as Hades does and this is something that we see during If It’s True.

From Hades’ side I feel like it’s not a good decision to make him a total villain because when he is irredeemable you don’t feel like the whole “song that will fix the world” has any chance of working long term. I think Patrick nailed a deep antagonist very well. His Hades is weird and lowkey creepy and alien. He does objectively bad things but when you look at him you can’t stop thinking that he doesn’t operate in regular human logic or morality. When I look at him in Chant, it feels to me that his words about building stuff to impress Persephone are absolutely sincere, and I can absolutely see that his Hades doesn’t understand why she is so upset about it when his intentions are so so clear. Maybe it’s my vision but even before Epic 3 when he is so far gone and buried in his projects and messed up ideas I don’t have a single doubt that Persephone is a single motivator and goal of Patrick Hades’ life and that he literally doesn’t need any other being to care about. And tragically this fixation is what makes him blind to all other things he does even if those things ruin Persephone’s life (and other people’s but tbh I don’t think he cares).

I feel like by removing Persephone’s Chant 2 verse Hadestown created more problems for Hades and Persephone part of the story making it a much harder job for the actors to prove to the audience that Hades and Persephone have a chance to make their relationship work. Like I get that maybe it was a necessary things to do (even though I think the show is much better with it) but it made it so much harder to empathise with this particular part of the story unless the actors use the choices that work in the narrative. Because for example when I was watching the show on West End part of me was wondering “what is Persephone’s deal in all of that, what does she win by staying with Hades?” With the verse, and with Broadway Previews or London 2018 in particular this part was clear: Persephone still loves Hades and believes that he has the opportunity to change and become a better man he used to be. Without the verse, however, the actors should give you the same idea during the show which is a hard task considering Hades and Persephone have only 2 big conversations together (Chant and How Long). So apart from those songs there are only subtle mostly silent moments they get together through which the actors have to convey the same thought which is hella difficult and probably hardly will be appreciated by anyone apart from the people who sit closely.

So, maybe because in the actor combo I saw (Zachary and Lauren), I got a feeling that even though they were great separately, I didn’t feel much chemistry between them as a pair. I think, Persephone seemed pissed and tired of Hades all the time until How Long and I didn’t feel that she still believes in his willingness to change. And Zach Hades despite being entertaining, kinda gives the impression of Hades who has other options, he is not into Persephone enough. The only sparkle appears between the two in Epic III which is still cute but I’m not sure if it works just as well if that’s the first time you see the show? Also considering Zach Hades gives more malicious intent in His Kiss, The Riot it seems that he is not even slightly interested in Orpheus having any opportunity to succeed with his quest. Which is not bad, don’t get me wrong! But in comparison to Patrick who is deeply self projecting into Orpheus to the point where you could see that even though he doesn’t want to let him go, part of him does because it would prove he too could succeed in his challenge of waiting for Persephone, this take seems a bit lacking. And overall because of His Kiss, their promise in Wait For Me doesn’t seem as giving much hope that the story won’t repeat itself next Sunday. Which in its turn makes Orpheus’ sacrifice feel a bit… worthless. If on Broadway, when Orpheus turns, but spring comes again you feel like it is the start of something new: hopefully a kinder and softer time. On West End the show also wants you to feel it but when you think about Hades and Persephone you feel…less certainty that this sacrifice will have a long term effect?

I guess the creators wanted to concentrate on Orpheus and Eurydice more and forget about Hades and Persephone by making them more secondary story or maybe there was a lack of director’s involvement to give the cast some hints on how to make this particular part of the story work better, but it feels to me that in its current state the show works in its 85% power which is still great but once you know there is something missing you can’t stop thinking about it and wishing the show would give you those 15% you crave.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

Seeing people genuinely saying that TTPD is her best work lyrically and that it tops Folklore and Evermore is just WILD to me. Like, am I missing something? Are there two different versions of this album out and I’m listening to the bad one? Because???? TTPD is such a let down. It’s not clever, it’s not even catchy. I like one song and the rest are kind of…are forgettable. I heard “like a tattooed golden retriever” and burst out laughing-like there’s no way we went from folklore and evermore to THAT. I had to stop listening because I just don’t like it. I don’t get it and I’m tired of people telling me that I’m too dumb to understand her genius. I don’t think this album is genius by any means-that’s not to say it doesn’t make sense (although it doesn’t make sense to me at times) but mostly I just don’t get it in terms of like why and what happened to the beautiful writing of folklore and evermore to…this. Folklore and evermore actually resonated with me on such an emotional level and it felt very adult and like Taylor was nuanced in her writing and that she moved on from all her problems stemming from men and “jealous women” and now TTPD just feels like I revisited one a conversation I’ve had with my friends in middle school thinking we were so deep and misunderstood.

Yeah, listen... you're not missing anything

I truly think that the people enjoying the album are blinded by the aesthetic of the album. She's obfuscating the poor writing, and basically incoherent imagery, by using the watered-down cottage core/ dark academia aesthetics. It's almost laughable the way she changes everything about herself just to fit the most popular aesthetic of the day.

She hides bad writing by name-dropping great writers and hoping that, through the power of vague allusion, the names alone will make people think she's in the same league.

She was guilty of this back on Folklore, as well. To be honest the first time I heard "tell me what are my Wordsworth" ("The Lakes), I laughed out loud because it's sooooo silly to make a pun out of one of the most important Romantic Poets of all time. I let it slide back then, because I thought it was a one-off. Still, it's really funny that she apparently knows who Wordsworth is, yet the best she can do with that information is make a pun out of his name.

And now I see her name-dropping, lack luster writing is just the best she can do. I hate that she really thinks of herself as a poet....

As someone who has studied poetry, and written literary criticisms about Emily Dickinson's poetry, it actually makes me angry to see she compares herself to Dickinson. I'm gonna write a post about that problem too.

I have a lot more to say about the gross lyricism of this album.

I have several different analyses that I plan to publish soon.... because it makes me so angry the way she is such phony-baloney nonsense.

More to the point, I'm angry I fell for it. All the use of intense aesthetics and the money she pours into promo, and I fell for it. I was a fan.

Not anymore.

[firstkanaphans]

The way The Trainee disappointed me in episode 10 (I mean imagine queerbaiting in the year of 2024???) I dunno whether should I be excited for even THK....gmmtv is failing big these days

I’m sorry, Anon, but you’re not going to find an ally in me trashing GMMTV. GMMTV tells more consistently good stories than any other production company out there and even if I were inclined to knock them for a few poor writing decisions, I’m smart enough to know that that’s the fault of the literal writers. Not the production company.

But I don’t even agree that what’s going on in The Trainee is bad writing. And I definitely don’t think it’s queerbaiting. When Ba-Mhee kissed Judy, there were real feelings there. Just because she ends up with a guy doesn’t negate that. 

Ba-Mhee’s a very interesting character to me. I’ve seen plenty of people refer to her as bisexual and I think that’s a fair read as well, but I just don’t get queer vibes from her. I don’t think her “relationship” with Judy was ever sexually motivated—and that’s fine. Some people are just straight. Experimentation is a healthy part of any sexuality journey. Ba-Mhee’s problem, as Pie correctly points out, is that she’s still too in love with Tae to sort through her own feelings. She is, in essence, Tae-sexual. Her attraction to Judy was never about Judy herself. It was about filling that void for attention that Tae left inside her.

And Judy knew this! She has always known this. 

I know my post yesterday was pretty tongue-in-cheek, but I actually meant it. I have been Judy. Multiple times. I would love to see this story from her point of view.

The only qualms I have with the writing of this particular show right now are that 1) I feel it was too early for Ba-Mhee and Tae to reconcile—if they even had to reconcile at all. And 2) The JaneRyan plot is moving at an absolutely glacial pace. I admittedly do not like slow burns ever, but this is ridiculous even for a slow burn. 

As far as your concerns about The Heart Killers, that’s completely unfounded. These shows have different directors—and I’m assuming different writers as well, although I still haven’t been able to track down who is writing The Heart Killers to know for sure. But even despite a few bumps in the road, I currently have The Trainee rated 9/10, which is the highest I’ve had a GMMTV show rated in quite a while. So I, for one, would be more than happy for The Heart Killers to live up to those expectations.

I totally understand being annoyed with GMMTV’s lack of GL content (and their treatment of women in general), but I’m never going to knock them for trying to tell nuanced stories. Humans are complicated. We deserve to see that represented on screen.

[norahastuff]

There’s a lot to like about The Winchesters, but I think one of the reasons it hits so hard for me is that it solves my biggest problem with the finale. Personally, I don’t have a problem with tragic endings. The season 5 finale of Spn has a tragic ending, and I think it’s a wonderful feat of storytelling. Aside from the fact that 15x20 tried to pretend it wasn’t tragic and tried to make it seem like Sam and Dean standing alone on a bridge in Heaven was a happy ending, what I hated most about the finale was they had to flatten Dean into a two-dimensional caricature of himself to do it. Aside from maybe the revelation that Dean stood outside Sam’s apartment at Stanford for hours trying to psych himself up to go in because he was nervous Sam would turn him away, there was no moment in the episode that Dean felt like the complex, nuanced character we had come to know and love over the past 15 seasons. He had no desires or characterisation beyond pie, car and Sammy. There was no sign of all the growth we’ve seen from him, no hint of his own needs, wants or sense of self. I mean, he wasn’t even allowed to interact with his own heaven before Sam showed up. Even after his death, he was never allowed to have anything that was just his. 

Look, I’ve said all this a hundred times before – if you look at my 15x20 tag, it’s basically just this sentiment repeated over and over again – so why am I saying it again now? Well, because The Winchesters is fixing that. The mission Dean is on is all his. It’s not about Sam, or pie or whatever surface level bullshit that finale tried to boil Dean down to. He’s going back to the past, he’s meddling in something insane because he sees value in it, and in the process going on a journey to understand himself better. His narration makes it pretty clear that through this quest he’s learning to contextualise his own life and feelings better. The past presents the future, after all (full disclosure, that’s an Ugly Betty episode title that I just really loved and use far too often in casual conversation), and one of the biggest hang ups in Dean’s life was that he was given this mythologised version of events and expected to believe them. Mary was this perfect saintly mother who sat at home baking cookies all day before she was brutally, and through no fault of her own, ripped away from them. John was the perfect mild-mannered husband and father who only slid into anger and obsession after he lost his perfect wife. 

Eventually Dean realises that none of that is true. Mary couldn’t cook. She was a hunter. She was involved in the circumstances that brought about her own death. She was a complicated person, and in the end he got the chance to see that knowing the real her, flaws and all, was infinitely superior to believing the white-washed fairytale about the perfect martyr that John created after she died. There’s also the fact that John was never the perfect husband or father, even before Mary’s death. We get maybe one reference to that in Spn, how in Dean’s heaven in season 5 he remembers John and Mary fighting and John moving out for a few days, but not much else. The focus is very much on how John turned into a neglectful parent and an angry man after Mary’s death. But The Winchesters is working hard to dispel that lie. John always had this anger in him. Mary even calls him out multiple times on how he’s using her and their relationship as an excuse to avoid his issues. She straight up uses those words. There are also references to how raising your kids to be soldiers and being their drill sergeant rather than their parent is one of the worst things a parent can do to their child. 

Anyway, as interesting as it is to see all these things addressed in the Spn universe, what’s so damn satisfying is seeing Dean realise it. Dean’s on a mission to learn more about his past. To understand that our parents and where we come from shapes and moulds the people we become, but it doesn’t have to define us forever if we don’t let it. By accepting his past and finding out the truth about who his parents truly were, he can accept himself and move forward, free of whatever baggage that had been dragging him down for so much of his life.

And the greatest part about all of this, is that Dean’s the one driving this story. It’s not God, or his father or even his duty to take care of Sam which dictated so much of his life and his choices before. This is about Dean’s choices and who he is as a person and what he wants. It’s funny because as little as we saw John Winchester in season 1 of Spn, he was very much the spectre hanging over the story, and the search to find him is what drove much of the plot throughout the season. Much of what his sons were doing was in reaction to him. And now in The Winchesters, Dean himself is the spectre that’s been hanging over the season. He’s the one making the big moves and steering the action. He’s the one everyone, friend and foe alike, is looking for. He’s the one who gave John the note and put this whole thing into motion. After the ending of Spn took away so much of his agency and everything that makes Dean Dean, he’s finally getting it back and then some.

I’m excited to see how the season’s going to end, but I’ll forever be happy that this show gave us Dean being his own person again. He’s the one picking the music this time.

[mystreet-liveblog]

Its not even the voices Aphmau needed to do in early seasons. I just have troubles where I take shows really seriously, so the no warning / no consent kissing or the people trying to find out everything about Aphmau's love life is just frustrating for me.

Autistic people taking things too seriously, what else is new?

I hear that, I too have the “tism”

But on the rewatch I kind of read it differently. It makes sense that Aph’s friends would be concerned about her love life since she hasn’t been interested in anyone since high school, her mom is notorious for hating boys, and half her male friends have crushes on her and she doesn’t reciprocate any of them. It’s an interesting situation and I know I’d be concerned, especially if I was Katelyn or KC

Katelyn sees Aph as a sister and knows that she’s had bad experiences with boys in the past (Gene and Ein, though I haven’t gotten to Ein in the rewatch yet so I may be misremembering some details) so of course she’d be suspicious of Laurance and the others across the street, Aaron who’s super suspicious and used to be a bully, and Zane who is literally Zane hahah

Meanwhile, KC is obsessed with shipping and she stands as an outlier who actively analyzes relationships and pairs them together in her mind as possible relationships, with her favorites being expressed more openly and verbally like a hyperfixation. It’s problematic but also not unheard of, and I can relate to analyzing your friends and deducing their compatibility (though not so much pressuring them into pursuing that compatibility :/). In the end she just wants to see all her friends happy, and she projects her own love of romantic love onto them

(KC actually reminds me a bit of Nepeta from Homestuck but that’s a conversation for a different day)

I do think the lack of consent coming from Laurance and his roommates is very weird and disturbing, but the conscious narrative seems aware that it’s problematic while the subconscious narrative plays it off as a joke. It’s not really that funny, but I guess that’s just part of the anime tropiness of the season.

The entire show, or at least the first seasons of MyStreet and PDH, was made to feel anime tropey and unfortunately that kind of nonconsensual humor is very anime. It’s a little nuanced tho that the rest of the show explores the “after they get together” situations rarely seen in romance anime, though, as well as abandoning the nonconsensual humor in favor of villainizing it and using it to characterize antagonists (sorry Laurance fans your fav is problematic <3)

I actually kind of realized through my rewatch that Laurance was the main instigator of these inappropriate actions and it’s really his own problem to work through. The rest follow him with the frat boy mindset and only come to their senses when actually thinking on their own lol

Like, I remember as a kid there being so many jokes about Travis touching peoples butts, but as far as I remember from my rewatch they were all accidents! That’s kind of funny actually! But the normalization of predatory behavior is very weird in S1 and I’m glad it’s gone in S2

In PDH S1, it’s only slightly justified by the students all being literal children who are working through their hormones and poor coping mechanisms. Both Laurance and Garroth kiss Aphmau without her consent and then swear her to secrecy, which is toxic as hell and its protrayed as such. Gene even threatens to kiss her in front of Aaron which is a whole other thing we don’t need to discuss at length cause I’m sure you get the point by now

But PDH-Aaron notably asks permission every time he does anything romantic with Aph and it’s sweet. In S1 of MyStreet, he does kiss her after the play without verbal consent, but it’s implied she did at least nonverbally consent in later episodes when discussing what happened. Regardless, that sort of content in S1 isn’t touched upon as the story goes on which makes it a lot better to me, and it shows the growth of the author alongside her characters

WOAH— SORRY FOR THE LONG RESPONSE!!!! I just found this topic interesting!!!! Hope you have fun reading this MOUNTAIN wow—

[midnightsun-if]

I’ve gotten a couple more asks in my inbox since the previous one last night that caused everything— I hesitate to call any of this discourse because I don’t want to sound dramatic— but I’d like to make this all-in-one post, that’ll be going in the FAQ, to settle this. Hopefully, I won’t get too harsh, and I apologize in advance if I do, or if I sound angry/annoyed, I’m just trying to stand firm, as I’ve previously mentioned, when it comes to this topic.

I’ll put the entirety of this underneath the cut— as I don’t wish to subject people who don’t wish to read it to the long post.

(I’ve shared screenshots beneath the cut… So, warning to anyone who may not like to see those when regarding this topic.)

I’d like to begin this by stating that I’m only annoyed, or somewhat vexed rather, with the ones that actually sent me these asks— I’m well aware a good majority of them are trolls, at least I hope, but I still felt like this would be a good time to simply collect them, make a one-and-done post, and then (hopefully) move on from this subject. As I’m, and I’m sure all of you, are tired of this topic— especially since it seems like a fairly cut and dry one to understand in the grand scheme of things.

Now I’d also like to say if you’d like to send me questions about expanding on Scarlett and/or Koda’s sexuality— what it means to them, why I decided to go that route, etc— you absolutely can! I’m more than happy answering them (though I may not be able to answer everything given spoilers). I’m not barring anyone from sending me anything, not that I truly could as free will doesn’t work like that, but I do hope this makes at least a couple people get the answers they need before sending in something. (And even if you do and need something explained a bit more? That’s completely fine!)

Onto the more gritty stuff…

Scarlett, and I’m mainly going to be mentioning her as this has been directed solely at her, but it also applies to Koda as well, is not a character simply for you all to romance, to have sex with, to be arm candy, etc. I’m well aware that’s not how the majority of people view her, but I thought I’d specify that regardless. She’s a character because of her own impact within the world, because of her own nuances, because of who she is… She works just as well as an RO as she does anything else. Am I excited about exploring her romance route? Absolutely. But, I’m even more excited about exploring Scarlett herself— backstory, personality, motivations, etc.

At the end of the day?

She’s Scarlett first before she’s the MCs anything.

Below are a couple of asks that I’ve received on this topic (older):

I saved these when I first got them because I was truly baffled by them and wanted to show my friend to see if I should do anything about it (just decided to delete them)…

Again, I’m aware these are more than likely nothing more than trolls, but I’ve gotten at least a dozen of asks ranging around this topic, that I’ve deleted because I didn’t think it’d become this much of an issue that I’d have to address in this manner, and I’d like to say to anyone that may think you can do this: No, you can’t.

Scarlett is a lesbian. I get that may disappoint some people, but there are seven other characters to choose from when it comes to romance. As I’ve mentioned before— Scarlett wouldn’t be Scarlett anymore if I decided to just make her romanceable for everyone. At that point there would’ve been no point to change her from the original character I had designed to fill her “slot” in the RO Cast.

Again, this isn’t everyone and I bet this isn’t even the vast majority of the individuals that are actually disappointed by Scarlett not being for everyone.

As for making Koda for F!MCs instead? Why would I do that? Barring the fact that he’s gay? Why do your potential problems with not being able to romance Scarlett suddenly outweigh the problems that F!MCs would go through by suddenly having that option torn away? It’s gross to even suggest doing something like that.

Below is one of the most recent asks that I’ve screenshotted to showcase what I mean in general:

I’m aware that I’d probably get some more readers if Scarlett would be accessible to everyone, but I truly don’t get this notion that Scarlett is somehow the supreme RO above all the others. I adore her, adore her route and character, but the others offer things too! They have their own special nuances that Scarlett doesn’t (just like it’s the same for her too). Not even going to comment on the interesting RO comment, as I feel like that’s intentional baiting (more so than the rest of this message).

I also wouldn’t want to cheapen my own characters, as well as the experiences you all can get with them, for more attention— I’m happy with the readers that I have right now. If I get more? Great! If I don’t? That’s also completely fine too. Because, at the end of the day, I know that I’m making the story and characters that I know I’ll enjoy making and that you all would enjoy reading.

Why not just let them?

Probably because Scarlett’s sexuality actually means something? More than simply keeping her from all of you? Like a lot of individuals seem to assume (a lot referring to the ones that sent these types of asks in)… Again, Scarlett isn’t a character just for you to get your rocks off. If you can’t respect that, how the hell would you ever actually respect her? And if you can’t even garner that basic amount, why would I ever let you romance her? (Not that I’d ever change my mind. Scarlett is staying exactly as she’s meant to be.)

I apologize if I’ve turned off readers from Midnight Sun because of this post, but I’ve been wanting to get this off my chest as this all started building up. I truly do appreciate all of you— and I can sympathize with the people that get a bit disappointed at finding out Scarlett isn’t for them: I.E. me with Miranda Lawson— but that doesn’t mean I’m going to change an integral part of who Scarlett is, pretty much taking out a chunk of what makes her Scarlett to begin with…

I’m sorry if I come off as overly harsh in this, but I hope I’ve been able to make my points firm and clear. Scarlett, and Koda, are staying as they’re designed right now— nothing, and no one, is going to change that.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[solaslow74]

greetings, people of earth!! it is i, sola, newcomer to the our life community and to the platform, doing what everyone knows is the first step to integrating into an online fandom: oversharing identifying information about my children!!

my olnf children, of course! i’ve been cooking up some short fanfics starring these mcs of mine for the upcoming olnf week, and thought this month or so leading up to it would be a good time to introduce them!

so let’s take a walk along the street, and i promise everybody that you meet, will have an original point of view:

And in this corner of the ring, we have Soleil Bridgeford!

She’s cheerful, she’s energetic, she’s set on becoming the best her she can be! As the protagonist of most other video games, she’d be using the power of friendship and hitting things really hard to save the world or something; but as fate would have it, in this story, she’s just an ordinary kid in the peaceful town of Golden Grove.

But that’s not gonna stop her from being The Hero™! She’s gonna give this town her all, being EVERYONE’S friend and solving EVERYONE’S problems, especially when it comes to her two precious neighbors.

Of course, Soleil’s gonna have to learn that sometimes, handling personal struggles and the ups and downs of friendships is something you can’t always approach with the force and subtlety of a charging bull. And what her neighbors really need from her isn’t a superhero- just Soleil as she is.

Soleil loves sports, food, and all things “awesome”, but as she gets older, she develops a bit more nuance to her tastes, as well. She’ll find that her endless passion can be suited to more pursuits than just the physical.

Though her childhood crush on the cool and confident Qiu Lin fades as her neighbor grows harsh and distant in their teen years, who’s to say what sorts of feelings might blossom as the two grow into adulthood? But one thing’s for sure- no matter how much changes, Soleil’s gonna be there for her friends.

but, moving on… what good is the strong female MC without the pathetic male MC?

That’s where Rowan Cordovi comes in, of course.

Full of himself and with an utter lack of self-awareness, Rowan thinks he’s God’s gift to Golden Grove. But even if he sees himself as the star of the show, he’s more than happy to welcome in co-stars. After all, it’s not as if others can’t be amazing- it’s just that he already is!

While he works hard in the hobbies he loves- music and theater most of all- Rowan is more than content to take it easy in most other areas of his life. After all, once his natural talent and beauty is recognized, the success, friends, and admirers are sure to roll in. They haven’t yet, but it’s only a matter of time. Surely.

Golden Grove might be a little too slow and quaint for this rising star, but that doesn’t mean it’s all bad. After all, since the first day he met his neighbors, Rowan has known that they’re special. That magic between them can only be one thing, Rowan’s favorite part of the fairy-tale stories he’s fond of. That’s true love, baby! And you can bet he’s gonna get a good grade in romance, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

Rowan has a long ways to go. It’s a good thing he’s got people around him who are gonna help him grow into a more well-rounded adult. But until then- watch out, Golden Grove!

and… those are my first two mc’s! i have seven in total, which is perfect for the seven days of prompts for olnf week, but starting with just two seems appropriate. you’re already awesome if you read through both of these! i’ll probably post about the remaining five in sets of two and three sometime soon!

feel free to ask any questions, or tell me all about your characters! (and also kindly let me know if i made any first-time tumblr gaffes, this is my first ever post!) i know plenty of you are just as normal about your olnf mc’s as i am about mine, so let’s all be normal together >:)

[forestdeath1]

ur takes r so good but how can u like jily 😭😭 he bullied her bsf

I swear, a hundred years will pass and people will still be going on about how James bullied Snape and how poor Snape was.

I’m sorry, but read what nuance really means. Snape and James’s situation isn't just a nuance, it's a big fat stain that you somehow don't see.

They were both idiots at school. Both James and Snape.

Ok. Let's take a closer look at their relationship. Here's their first encounter:

‘Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?’  (Draco said the same thing, by the way)

Sirius did not smile. ‘My whole family have been in Slytherin,’ he said.

‘Blimey,’ said James, ‘and I thought you seemed all right!’ 

Sirius grinned.

‘Maybe I’ll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you’ve got the choice?’

Notice that Sirius didn't even react to James's "I'd leave", even though he knew his whole family was from Slytherin, and he was likely to go there too.

James lifted an invisible sword.

‘“Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!” Like my dad.’

Snape made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him.

‘Got a problem with that?’

‘No,’ said Snape, though his slight sneer said otherwise. ‘If you’d rather be brawny than brainy –’

It was Snape who starts the confrontation on a personal level. James in his insults in this memory refers to moral qualities. "Who wants to be in Slytherin?" Only bad people. He is prejudiced against Slytherin because Slytherin is evil. Voldemort is gaining momentum. The first Muggle-born Minister was recently ousted. Attacks are happening here and there. Dark forces are growing. More and more of the pure-blood society talks about "Mudbloods" not belonging in this world. And "amazingly", they all turn out to be from Slytherin. James sees himself as a noble knight "James lifted an invisible sword", and he is against Slytherin not so much personally as against the moral component of Slytherin.

This doesn't mean James had the right to bully Snape. But come on, are we going to paint Snape as a poor little boy? He was the first to insult Gryffindor on a personal level. James was spot on saying, who wants to be in Slytherin? Voldemort was terrorizing the country and killing people. Think about it, what Slytherin was like back then. It's like if there was a house in some school dominated by Nazi ideals and all the main supporters of terror came from that house. Would you be all lenient about that house? Don't you get how bad things were in the wizarding world then? James expressed his preference that he didn't want to study there. Who would? It was Snape who started the confrontation, getting personal (‘If you’d rather be brawny than brainy –’). Why can't the younger generation of readers think on a bigger scale, rather than just personally? IT WAS SLYTHERINS WHO WERE KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE. What's there even to talk about?

Yeah, sure, James was pretty blunt and rude too. Although in my view, he had the right to openly disagree with Slytherin's views.

If you're looking for who actually started all this in this situation, here's the answer — Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin. Blame those two.

But don't tell me Snape wasn't backing Slytherin's ideas. He had a bias against Muggles even before school.

“Haven’t been spying,” said Snape, hot and uncomfortable and dirty-haired in the bright sunlight. “Wouldn’t spy on you, anyway,” he added spitefully, “you’re a Muggle.”

He already had a dislike for Muggles. You'll say it's because of his bad dad? But Harry also had a bad family. Having a tough time isn't an excuse for hating on the weaker ones (in this case, Muggles).

Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?”

Snape hesitated. His black eyes, eager in the greenish gloom, moved over the pale face, the dark red hair.

“No,” he said. “It doesn’t make any difference.

And he knew full well what Slytherin was about and the difference between pure-bloods and Muggle-borns. And still wanted to be in Slytherin.

So she’s my sister!

“She’s only a—” He caught himself quickly; Lily, too busy try- ing to wipe her eyes without being noticed, did not hear him.

Yeah, she's "only a Muggle."

I don’t like some of the people you’re hanging round with! I’m sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he’s creepy!

Snape's mates are creepy and the whole school's scared of them. But you'll say Snape needed someone to hang out with or that he was bullied in Slytherin, so he hung out with them? Then you really don't get Snape's character. He's up for a fight. If he really didn't want to, he wouldn't have hung around with them! Snape's got a backbone, and you're making him out to be a doormat. He's not. He did what he wanted.

D’you know what he tried to do to Mary MacDonald the other day?

That was nothing,” said Snape. “It was a laugh, that’s all—”

“It was Dark Magic, and if you think that’s funny… Mulciber’s and Avery’s idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don’t understand how you can be friends with them."

After SWM:

You and your precious little Death Eater friends��you see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?

He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking.

It's the fifth year. When you say Snape wasn't a Death Eater yet... yeah, he wasn't, but he already knew who he was likely to become and who his mates were definitely going to be.

But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus.

And Snape calls others Mudbloods. Like I said, James' bullying of Snape was "morally directed," James saw himself as a knight in shining armor. It's awful, and James had no right to it, and of course James's actions affected Snape. But that's also not an excuse for Snape.

Snape's always been fascinated by the Dark Arts, he was famous for it at school.

Plus, Snape was known for his fondness for the dark arts. Wonder where that reputation came from? Snape came up with powerful dark spells back in school. Snape was a wizard of great power.

And Snape was just this little oddball who was up to his eyes in the Dark Arts and James — whatever else he may have appeared to you, Harry — always hated the Dark Arts.

Here's the main conflict. Somehow Snape fans say James bullied Snape because Snape was poor and James was rich. Where did you read that? Lupin was his friend and wasn't rich. Pettigrew didn't seem to be rich either. Not everything in the world is measured in money. Not all pure-blood wizards are rich. Not all Death Eaters are rich. Slytherin isn't a rich kids' club. Pure-bloods aren't an aristocracy with vaults full of money. It's fanon, but it's not canon.

Snape was a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James, so you couldn’t really expect James to take that lying down, could you?”

And Snape attacked James too. By seventh year, Snape had one foot already in with the Death Eaters. If you don't get how HORRIBLE that is, then I don't know how to explain it to you.

Plus, he deliberately kept tabs on them, snooping around Lupin, wanting to rat him out.

“What’s Potter got to do with anything?” said Lily.

“They sneak out at night. There’s something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?

He’s ill,” said Lily. “They say he’s ill—”

“Every month at the full moon?” said Snape.

I’m just trying to show you they’re not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are.”

And by the way, even Snape admitted that the whole school saw the Marauders as "wonderful." It probably wasn't true, the Marauders were bullies, but it was likely because they stood up for Muggle-borns and were against Voldemort's ideas. That's why they weren't seen as "evil and creepy" like Snape and the Slytherins.

About how the Marauders were actually bullies — I wrote about it here. And they never really understood anything, even when they grew up.

But please stop justifying Snape by James's actions (why is everyone forgetting Sirius?) There is no excuse for either of them. And the fact that James bullied Snape...it has no bearing on how I feel about Jily. Snape wasn't a poor kid. James wasn't a golden retriever. James and Sirius were pretty cruel. Snape was too. They just ended up on different sides of the fence.

And I don't love Snape for who he was in school. I love him for what he did afterward — bravely and selflessly securing victory over the biggest evil in the WW at the cost of his entire life.

[herald-divine-hell]

i assume this is a classic question but what are your thoughts on softened leliana vs hardened leliana , both in origins and inquisition

First, thank you for the ask!

I haven’t really explored Leliana all that much in Origins (hopefully my play-through with Amayian changes that). In my only complete run of Origins, I did think I accidentally hardened Leliana, without meaning to, so I can’t really delve into the softened and hardened mechanics for Leliana in regard to Origins.

That being said, I do have a few qualms with the whole system as a narrative concept. First and foremost, I recognized it is primarily a gameplay mechanic meant to stimulate changes in your companions’ behavior, influenced by your character and their actions. I have no problem with that, in theory. In practice though, I think the dichotomy itself is pretty useless to explore the complexities of the human mind and its changes by external forces. Again, it is useful as a gameplay mechanic, but I dislike the idea that Leliana is entirely softened or entirely hardened. She is far more complex than that, but I do understand the limitations, especially when we take into context the times that these two specific games came out on.

That being said, for Inquisition, I tend to ignore the whole softened and hardened idea for Inquisition entirely, in terms of character and narrative exploration of Leliana in Inquisition and with the Inquisitor. For example, according to the Dragon Age Wiki (though how accurate that truly is should be questioned), it states:

I disagree with this statement entirely, that Leliana is hardened by default in Inquisition. She certainly is not. What she really is by the start of Inquisition is emotionally devastated and depress. Hardening revolves, in my mind, being more ruthless, cold. Sure, we can point toward Butler’s conversation to indicate that Leliana has some tendency toward ruthlessness but that is not entirely her personality. As Josie does admit, Leliana is certainly different than the “outgoing woman” she met in Val Royeaux. But that entirely not true, at least she doesn’t hide some hints of her true self with the Inquisitor (or if you want to be meta, the player).

In our first dialogue with Leliana, after the Inquisition is proclaimed, there is sense of amused annoyance from Leliana with Cassandra interrupting her when Leliana was discussing her assets to the Inquisition; and as we see in our first conversation at Haven, it was Leliana’s decision to draw back her scouts, and she fundamentally shames herself and takes the moral responsibility for the destruction and loss of Haven and its residents. She begs the Inquisitor to blame her. That is something a “hardened” Leliana wouldn’t have done. Sure, she may be critical over her decision of not sending out her scouts, but importantly a “hardened” Leliana would have done that from the beginning. We can see that there is still the Leliana from Origins, and Leliana is in that strange gray area, not entirely knowing where she belong, what parts of herself should she indulge, etc.

To continue further, take our first cutscene of Inquisition. A “hardened” Leliana, in my view wouldn’t have halted Cassandra from beating the Inquisitor. You could argue that she only did that to gain easier information from the Prisoner, but I think there is inherently something more complex going on there. In my mind, Leliana might very well have known that regardless on whatever is on the Prisoner’s hand, they aren’t lying. They have no real idea how they got there. And a part of her, especially if you are playing a mage, or a marginalized race, is sympathetic to the Prisoner. Even if it is a brief moment before the mask of the Nightingale returns.

In any case, I think there is a lot of nuance that the hardened and softening mindset that is often surrounding Leliana can’t really navigate. It is not one way or the other. Our actions in Inquisition is less “softening” Leliana but more aiding in her healing growth, to reclaim her sense from the dark abyss of depression she had fallen into with the death of Justinia. In essence, the Inquisitor is aiding to bring back the Leliana that is Leliana rather than making her change personalities, if that makes sense.

[all-pacas]

do you think it's out of character that cameron didn't mention keeping her husband's sperm until days before she was supposed to get married?

Maybe like……17% out of character? I fully believe that

Cameron would keep her dead husband's sperm and

She wouldn't mention it, because she does know it's kind of weird, look at how she announced it, that was not her being proud of the silly thing she did, but also even if she's not ashamed of it she does know it's weird, does know it's probably going to hurt Chase's (who has a history of being a bit insecure of her feelings towards him) feelings.

However, the waiting until the last minute thing seems a little… contrived.

Cameron absolutely has a history of avoiding problems. If she can avoid her own feelings, she's gonna do it. I can see her waiting until the last second to bring it up, for sure, and the whole thing is pretty silly. But, I actually think this is like… the one example of Cameron and Chase having a conflict that has nuance.

First of all: Cameron explains it pretty clearly. She keeps it as a weird sort of… reminder. I used to think, if I never found someone, she tells Chase. It's a tangible part of her dead husband. She hates letting go of things/possibilities/people. Chase doesn't actually ask her to destroy it (although it's certainly implied): he suggests it's a prenup. And… there's nothing that weird about wanting that. (In fact, it turns out she was pretty right to want one, lmao) It's true the fact that it's sperm is kind of super weird, but Cameron saying just in case things don't work out, I kind of have this as a plan isn't terrible. I get why Chase got defensive, but he's also being a little overly sensitive imo.

And he does kind of immediately get jealous:

CHASE: Cameron kept her dead husband’s sperm. FOREMAN: She doesn’t like yours? CHASE: She likes his better. Or at least she wants to hang on to it in case mine is… unfaithful or something.

She likes his better? Cameron never says she actually wants to use the sperm. Chase is taking Cameron has a backup plan that is admittedly weird to mean she likes her dead husband better than me.

At the end of the episode, he calls off the wedding, kind of.

CHASE: I can’t do it. You have doubts. CAMERON: And you don’t? CHASE: No. CAMERON: Well, that’s… naïve. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you. That’s how I feel right now. But I don’t… know. CHASE: I’ll wait until you do. CAMERON: I can’t know. No one knows. CHASE: I do.

These are pretty gentle doubts! She immediately tells him she loves him and wants to be with him. I think this is actually the first time either of them have said love on the show. She just wants a prenup, a very weird fucking prenup, she wants him to know she has these sperm and isn't planning on using them but has them, and Chase is kind of overreacting here.

Next episode, the wedding has been officially postponed/cancelled. Cameron seems to sort of be treating this as a breakup, although Chase did say he'd wait until she was sure, which to me doesn't seem to be him dumping her. Taub tracks down Chase in the world's funniest scene and Chase explains that, once again, his ego is what's at stake here:

CHASE: You’d let your wife keep another man’s offspring on ice next to the frozen peas, just in case? That’s what this is about. She’s not ready to commit to me. She’s planning for failure.

I'm being a little hard on him, but I do get it. Chase holds himself together way better than Dr. "notoriously messy everywhere" Cameron, but let's not forget he's never had anyone want him his entire life. <3 You could even triangulate this with Lockdown and his Did You Ever Love Me rant (he brings the sperm back up then, too): in his own way, he's also preparing for the end, because his whole life his family has let him down and withheld love/affection; his fake dad House always consistently refused to give him any approval, no matter what Cameron says I'm sure Chase hears she's gonna run out on me in six months. (Which!)

Later on, Cameron talks to House, and he suggests destroying the sperm. Which, even though that's clearly what Chase wants, he hasn't actually said it. Cameron is unhappy, but at this point she has good priorities, and she does choose Chase and to destroy the sperm. (And they have a genuinely cute little scene where he wants to hug her but can't but almost does anyway. They're cute sometimes.)

And that's all it takes! As soon as Cameron just… stops hedging and saying "but I need to keep the sperm," Chase is perfectly fine. (And, to his credit, when he thinks she wants to move out, he immediately offers to let her stay and move out instead. He's an insecure moron but he's not a jackass.) And he — not House or anyone else — gets to the bottom of the issue, once he's not feeling sorry for himself:

CHASE: You don’t have doubts. You just don’t wanna kill the only thing left of someone you loved.

And that's perfectly reasonable. And even he knows it. But Cameron didn't communicate it well (I don't know if she even had that articulated in her head). But the issue was never really that Cameron wanted to have a dead man's baby. Chase is probably being a little idealistic here (she definitely has doubts), but he's not wrong. It's not really about the sperm. Cameron is just a bad communicator and terrible at self awareness, and Chase is perceptive but let his own insecurities get in the way.

[willothewispwisteriadawn]

I WISH BORIS HAD BEEN THE ANTAGONIST OF THE GOLDFINCH

Okay Boris Pavlikovsky take based on people requesting it from this post where I said I’m like 90% sure my take on him is 🔥, meaning I could tell immediately he’d be popular as hell and yet he’s the subject of my biggest critique of the novel.

The short:

I’m extremely mixed on Boris and was for most of the book, especially at the end. His usage within the story just was an odd roller coaster. Now, I think I’d summarize it this way— I wish Boris had just been treated as an incredibly nuanced antagonist. I get that Donna Tartt books don’t fully deal in hero-villain terms but let me explain!! He would have been very heartbreaking, compelling, and unique as an actual antagonist.

The long:

I want to like Boris a lot because of his positive qualities. His dialogue is so charmingly good (I was so impressed by Tartt’s writing of someone who is speaking a second/third language and may write a whole post on that). Boris is also characterized by gratitude and loyalty to the people who’ve done right by him such as Theo, the folks from his backstory such as Judy and the Muslim preachers, and his guys— Cherry, Shirley, Gyuri. He recognizes kindness and responds to it in a way that is just so likable. He even cries when he thinks of his betrayal of Theo and says that he can’t stand what he did, knowing that Theo was only ever generous and good to him. Finally, Boris was a good foil to Theo, optimism vs dread. Boris’s optimism and love did save Theo at points, and it provides a very believable basis for their friendship.

But my problem is that Boris’s flaws were a little TOO big to have been so under-commented on. His vices crossed from palatable things to things that you really can’t take lightly, at least as lightly as I think this story did at the end. To summarize some things: 1) Boris beat his girlfriend (and casually assumed Theo had beaten Pippa) and is of the opinion that this is sad but necessary since sometimes “women deserve it.” 2) He is a serial cheater who rarely visits his wife and his own babies but has a girlfriend in Antwerp and is implied to buy escorts/prostitutes fairly regularly, which is further unconscionable since the reason he hurt Kotku was that she was potentially cheating on him! 3) Boris has ruined and ended countless lives. Anyone who runs a cartel has. But he was also introducing the kids at his school to drugs since they were too nervous to deal with adults. And maybe it’s because I know someone who died by a heroin overdose, but I just saw Boris as a indirect murderer throughout the book. He is against direct, cold-blooded murder, sure. But there comes a point where you have to take the domino-effect implications of your own actions seriously. It’s not even just the cartel. It’s minor things that show he doesn’t care about indirectly ending lives. He lost his license from drunk driving, then gave Gyuri cocaine WHILE GYURI WAS DRIVING. So, well, blatant lack of concern towards the lives of everyone else on the road. 4) while he did help Theo in ways, he really ruined him in other ways. The drugs and alcohol. But also getting him accustomed to thievery and sexual activity at a young age (I was pretty disturbed by Boris’s attraction to certain women because they were over the legal age and his way of romanticizing these relationships to Theo. I get this isn’t exactly uncommon talk among teen boys, at a level. But it reached icky too-far points in context. Then we see Theo get in this kind of relationship later, with Julie).

To summarize this: I was thinking that Boris shows that a person can be a good friend without being good for his friend. If that makes sense?

Boris loved Theo, saved his life, spent years planning how to make things up to him— but he was also emblematic of a very bad era of Theo’s. Now, I can love deeply flawed characters. Heck, I loved everyone in The Secret History. But the thing is, I think characters who reach this level of flawed are only fully likable when I can approach them knowing they were indeed wholly lambasted by the text itself. It’s a comfortable place from which to feel empathy.

For Boris… that didn’t come through well to me. It started to at points, for sure. Theo definitely comments on Boris’s flaws. And I think there’s a really dirty sort of filter on the events of the story where Boris is concerned. But to be honest, it wasn’t enough for what this guy was doing. I was most disappointed when Theo started to really get at him in the hotel room, only for the scene to shift into a moment that lifts Boris up. I liked the idea of Theo breaking away from the attitude of his father and of Boris. But then *bam* Goldfinch. Now Boris is all right again. The problem is— while making good from the bad is a great lesson and I agree that even our low points have meaning in a divine scheme— that doesn’t mean our bad actions were good, actually. It’s just that goodness was able to work with what we did. But our wrongs are wrong. Boris returning the painting shows some redemption and that Theo’s woes and miserable life story did have meaning. But Boris’s cheating, drug dealing, thievery, and violence are still evil mistakes. Not good because they worked out.

This return-of-The-Goldfinch moment is further muddied by the fact that Boris had something to gain financially by returning the finch. Now he’s loaded with cash, and that was a motivating factor in the return. I guess the lesson is that good pays and in a much better way than evil. And Boris did learn this. He was so fixated on how to get what he wanted sneakily, by beating the system, that he didn’t consider that he could come out on top by doing good. The lesson may be that good is not without opportunity itself. Still, the moment does swerve from fully critiquing Boris’s wrongs, and he’s never really treated fairly for them in my opinion.

So back to my point. I wish Boris had been just treated as the antagonist of this novel. I think that this would have been an awesome direction and could have happened while keeping his personality in-tact. All the pieces were there but the trigger never pulled.

An antagonist is merely someone stopping a protagonist from getting what he wants or what is good for him. An antagonist doesn’t have to be fully villain-y. It can be a rival sports team, for example. I think Boris would have made a great, very nuanced antagonist with sympathetic intentions. It would have been fun to see him fight so hard for Theo’s good that he doesn’t see that he’s preventing Theo’s redemption. Again, a lot of this IS already in the text, but I wish it all had followed through. I wish that Boris as an antagonist who only wants what’s best for the protagonist was his eventual and clearly stated characterization. It would have been compelling, to me, if the end had been Theo against Boris on the grounds that they both are so certain what’s best for Theo’s life. Boris would not want to be in this position, but is sure he has to be. Honestly?! HE HAS STRONG REASONS FOR THINKING THIS. He watched Theo try to kill himself many times. Imagine how traumatizing that would be, how much you wouldn’t trust your friend because you’re so afraid of losing him.

For a bit, I thought the reason Boris didn’t want to return the Goldfinch had to do with him viewing it as the thing that would fix Theo and mend their relationship. I thought maybe his connection to the thing was that he considered it a panacea like, if it were back in Theo’s hands, they could return to boyhood. I thought maybe he didn’t want to let go of the painting because it represented his own redemption and a happier side of Theo; he’s convinced that if it’s given to the authorities, he’s lost the fight and Theo won’t ever find happiness again. I think the in-book reason for Boris not wanting to return the painting was literally just fear of the cops. But it would have been interesting if he just didn’t have faith that Theo would be okay if it was released.

The end even covers the idea that our hearts are not always something to be trusted. Sometimes the things that you do out of love aren’t good. I do believe Boris got Theo on drugs partially because of love (but also wanting company in his own lifestyle). He didn’t want to see Theo suffering; he felt upset when Theo was sick or in pain. So his answer was to give him ecstasy or vodka or weed or coke so that his friend would relax and smile again. But obviously this isn’t right. It’s very wrong. And is it just me or did the book treat this as an oddly benevolent act? (In fact, it also just seems “generous” when Boris said he was just giving drugs away at school because he liked being liked— but that’s FURTHER basis for a sort of well-meaning antagonist. He’s generous but in awful ways at times. I wish this were commented on as such, as evil born from a good yet disordered heart, rather than just “Boris is generous.”)

I also thought for sure that Boris would have a come-to-Jesus moment where he’s like “maybe this is all wrong,” only for him to be advised against this feeling by Myriam who has a plan for how he can get what he wants for himself and Theo, quick and dirty. Was I the only one who felt Myriam seemed efficient in a Devil-like way? The text really puts demon/snake symbolism on her, and Boris trusts her so much and this isn’t expanded upon. It should have been used!

Bottom line is that some things done in this book are serious. Really serious, not character quirks and they felt a little too casually handled when it came to Boris. The book does seem to go “yes he’s a mess” here and there. But not in a way that rises to the proper level, in my opinion. I do get that he shows there’s good to be found in bad people, and that fate can use broken human beings! But I kind of wish I wasn’t left with a feeling of the book going, “lol Boris, that beautiful scoundrel” when the man in question was a woman-beating, cheating, drug lord.

Like I said, I’m mixed. But I think I’d have loved him if he was just, up front, the affectionate antagonist of the whole novel. I think he would have made a great overarchingly dark figure, whose motivations stem from how close he’s come to losing Theo. That would have better married his positive qualities with his negative ones. It would have combined what we know of him as a selfish, often violent figure with his good intentions. I just want him to be depicted for what he is and let his vices lead up to an actual boiling point— while letting him keep his kind aspects too.

[independence1776]

Star Wars: The Living Force by John Jackson Miller

I was incredibly wary about this book when it was first announced and remained wary of it to the point I broke my own policy of not posting a WIP so I could say, “No, that’s irrelevant to my fic as I began posting before it was published.” I was wary partly because of the blurb and partly because I didn’t (and don’t) trust the author about the Jedi. That was based solely on how he described the Order in A New Dawn, which is not exactly one of my favorite Star Wars books for several reasons. But someone whose taste I trust (aka @gffa) did enjoy The Living Force, so I checked it out of the library.

Overall: I enjoyed it. It was a fun romp and a solid Star Wars book. That said, the cast was really too large to dive in-depth into pretty much anyone’s characters except the girl Depa was trying to save. The girl was probably the most well-rounded of everyone, including the Jedi. The villain was very much a one-note. And part of my problem may have been that ultimately the book felt like it couldn’t do anything. There was no sense of danger or urgency; of course everyone would survive and the bad guys fail. It felt like it should have been character-driven and yet it wasn’t. It is also very clearly a “TPM came out 25 years ago, so we have to mark that somehow” book.

Things I disliked:

1) the author could do with a dive into what Lucas says about the Order and what attachments mean. This guy seems to think they mean connections with other people when that is manifestly not what they mean; the High Republic books state this over and over and over again, so it’s not an “expanded universe doesn’t understand” thing. It’s very much an author thing.

2) Sifo-Dyas… just didn’t make much sense being brought up as a Problem. That came out of nowhere. So did the disloyalty of the caretaker.

3) Qui-Gon is very much in the line of fanon maverick instead of the movie’s stubborn, rude, and often arrogant but still somehow kind and wise man. He’s not the character I fell in love with, in other words.

4) I’m well and truly puzzled why Depa didn’t use telekinesis to pull the comlink to her and turning it off in the climax of the book. We know she can use telekinesis. We know Jedi can do that in general; it's all over the place. So why didn’t she? She spent a lot of the book strangely de-powered.

Things I liked: There were some very good moments here. I liked the look at the worldbuilding and buereocracy. I like Jedi being Jedi and by each of them somehow getting involved in separate things that the threads came together at the end. (Of course they did. That was obvious pretty early on.) The book was more-or-less: ten Jedi help solve one world’s problems because they each somehow managed to connect with a different person in need of help in a way that will solve the plot’s problems later. Which is fine; sometimes I really do want predicatable. As I said, it’s not a bad book but I’m not sure if me being a writer helped me see the seams more clearly. I did expect the outpost to close regardless (which would have made the entire book feel futile) and it did but not quite in the way I thought and it’s a way that worked.

I am glad Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were cameos instead of taking over. And there was room for a lot of nuance into the Order, top-down versus bottom-up view of how to best help.

Yaddle’s reversal of the “fear leads to hate” into “Courage leads to peace. Peace leads to love. Love leads to healing.” It’s a part of a longer quote. And those two paragraphs are the best part of the book.

Depa Billaba (You all know me. Of course she’d get her own section!)

When she was off doing her own undercover mission with the pirates, I thought that was cool and that Miller understood her character. And I’m folding it into what I take as canon; it matches well with the rest of her non-show appearances in Disney canon. I didn’t like a lot of the follow-through. (This ties into some of the reasons I dislike A New Dawn; I don’t think he writes women well.) I’m perfectly fine with her being captured. But after that, it felt like Miller didn’t know what to do with her. And her uncertainties and not taking a Padawan earlier because she was seemingly afraid to* and her talk with Mace about attachments (a conversation that makes absolutely zero sense given they are both on the High Council)… just don’t work. It felt like a faint retelling of much of her character arc in the Kanan comics. She also didn’t have the sense of humor she did there. Ultimately, I’m unsatisfied. Her plotline started off as something important and then fizzled by the end.

*Until that was brought up as why Depa was so driven to investigate the pirates in the region, I’d assumed it was because she was orphaned by said pirates. It would have made more sense.

On the other hand, some of the things I was worried about didn’t occur. We got nothing about her sister Sar Labooda (who may as well not exist apart from that mention in an encyclopedia and her appearance and death in the arena on Geonosis in AotC). We got nothing about Depa’s apprenticeship with Mace. We know pretty much nothing else about Chalacta apart from a mantra and that the Republic doesn’t seem to much care about its region of space. So all of that is more or less free space.

(Though her timeline is still more than a bit fuzzy and messed up. I maintain that she should not have been on the Council in the Master and Apprentice novel; she should have been the one brought on when Qui-Gon refused the seat. I even checked out Star Wars Timelines to see if that book shed any light on the matter; it doesn’t as the only time she’s mentioned is her death, which was very neatly worded to apply to either the Kanan comics or the Bad Batch show.)

All in all, I’m glad I read the book ,and I did enjoy it, but I don’t plan to buy it until it’s out in paperback.