#she already thought I had anxiety bc I was able to talk with her about it so smoothly

[ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes]

I was talking to my flat mate who said we’ve become way too addicted to our phones and it’s like,, yes I agree with her but I gotta push back a little bc I know she wakes up at shit in the morning and scrolls social media bc of FOMO and then goes back to sleep again and I can’t pretend that’s the standard

[pupyuj]

thinking about extrenely dubcon g!p stalker wonyoung (who so happens to be your blockmate) breaking into your house late at night and yes😁

i held off on posting this for the longest time bcs tbh, i never rlly knew where i stood with noncon/dubcon even though i say in my pinned that i do write about it??? yea IK weird but it's been quite some time since i finished this and i can now actually write these kinds of things without flinching so! ANYWAY, i like it when you guys make wony a pathetic loser it's so fun... except that she's a bit creepy here but whatever.

[cw: g!p, stralker!wony, perv!wony, dubcon/noncon (it really was teetering the line...), breeding]

FUCK . okay so wony being so obsessively in love with you since the day you sat beside her in your first day of classes, but can't bring herself to talk to you bcs you just radiated pure sunshine energy that it blinds her too much so she settles with following you around, stalking you irl and online??? when she's sitting beside you, she's sneaking pics of what's hiding underneath your skirt... and you're always talking to people so you don't really notice your pretty seatmate lowering her phone and snapping a couple pics of your panties... she uses those pics to get off for sure.. she moans your name so loudly while stroking her cock, wishing that she had the courage to just fucking grab you, bend you over your desk, and pound your pretty pussy in front of the entire class... but poor wony has to be satisfied with just looking at you from a distance. a very, very close distance...

omg but like, wony eavesdropping in one of the conversations you have with your friends.. and she finds out that you're a virgin 🤭 but then she gets upset bcs your friends started teasing you about some girl who you were talking to in that way and how you weren't going to be a virgin for very long now... oh god, wony got sooo mad 😤😤 she saw you first!! therefore she deserves to be your first!! she firmly believed that nobody will ever be able to fuck you as good as she can... and she wanted to prove this so naturally, wony breaks inside your house dead in the night... feeling her heart beating so loud not out of anxiety or fear of being caught, but because your scent was everywhere... wony could just lay down in your living for the entire night and just bask in your sweet scent.. but she was here on a mission 👀

wony making her way inside your bedroom with exactly zero noise??? she stares at your face for a while, breathing heavily and her hands already unbuckling her belt and removing her pants dkshscnhsjgh 😵‍💫😵‍💫 wony climbing onto your bed with her cock just . out, stirring you awake... and ofc you were going to freak the fuck out bcs who the hell was in your house?! but wony was quick to cover your mouth with her hand and shush you, "it's me... it's me, (y/n)... it's wonyoung. i won't hurt you... just don't scream." but you were so fucking scared bcs you didn't know her!!

wony keeping her hand on your mouth bcs she knew you wouldn't keep quiet... leaning down to kiss your neck despite your resistance, her moaning at the way your skin tastes on her lips?!! wony finding your sweet spot and making you moan accidentally,, and she's so happy bcs she thinks you're liking it but fuck you were in tears bcs what the hell was she going to do to you??? ☹️ "i couldn't bear the thought of not being your first time... so i'm getting to you before that girl..." she says and finally you realized that that thing that was pressed up against your stomach was her dick... again, you started freaking out—kicking, squirming, scratching at wony's arms and trying to push her away but she was unexpectedly strong :(( "i'm gonna fuck you, (y/n)... i'm gonna fuck you and you're gonna love it.. you're gonna love me." and then she swiftly pulls your shorts n panties off and slams her cock in your cunt :(((

wony's hand in your mouth muffling your pained moans as she thrusted into you :(( "i-i know it hurts but.. ohh, fuck, so g-good... it'll feel better in a bit, i p-promise.. mhm...!" wony starting to quicken her pace and forcing her cock deeper inside you bcs she wanted to feel your cunt envelope her entire length :((( n then you're crying and sobbing bcs it hurt so bad but then... wony starts hitting a few good spots and you find yourself moaning out of pleasure instead of pain... all of this was so wrong.. wony didn't ask for your permission, wasn't being gentle at all, and she was restraining you... but fuck, her cock was such a perfect fit in your tight little pussy and you wanted more...

"see...? it feels nice, r-right? fuck... i'll g-go faster.. wanna ruin you so bad..." wony grips your hip with her one hand and started pounding into you so much harder and faster that you screamed into her palm... wony was starting to get hurt by the way you hit her arm and clawed at her skin so she pinned both of your hands above your head... she doesn't care that people could probably hear you screaming and crying,, your voice was akin to that of an angel, she could listen to you all day!

sobbing while wony was marking you up :(( begging for her to stop bcs it was hurting you,, and you told her she was hurting you but she refused to listen,,, only kissing your tears away and expecting you to take everything like a good girl... so you had to :(( it goes on for a while... her going in and out of you, her groans, your cries being the only thing that was heard throughout the house... you finally coming all over wony's cock and not knowing that you did bcs wony kept fucking into you, faster again bcs she was close too :(((

"g-gonna come inside you... d'you want my cum, (y/n)?? w-want me to... h-haahh... want me to get you pregnant? i want to... i really want to, fuck... you're mine... i need you to be mine..." wony buries her head on your neck, mumbling all this nonsense about giving you her kids... then you're begging her not to fucking do that but she doesn't want her cum to go to waste :(( wony coming inside you with a long, whiny moan which you thought was a bit cute...

feeling wony's warm cum inside you... only pulling out minutes later when she has dumped every fucking seed inside your cunt... putting your hands on her shoulders when she finally let go of your wrists,, god you felt so violated.. but why were you kissing her?? why were you thinking that she was the prettiest thing you have ever seen?? and why, after recovering from everything, were you begging for her to come inside you again?? 😣😣

[nmakii]

Yandere Nagito, Kokichi with Demon Overlord Mastermind! Reader.

NATURE ABHORS A POWER VACUUM, IT LEAVES ROOM FOR YOU AND ME!

— yandere!nagito + kokichi x overlord!mastermind!reader

— gn!reader, spoilers for danganronpa! nagito and kokichi in general are warnings

wrote this immediately after my religion class bc lol! i hate my teacher!!

— yandere!nagito

quite confused by how often you squabble with chiaki since she is generally a girl who is easy to get along with. it seems as though your very presence gets her in a bad mood…

a little bit into the fact that you’re quite cold to the rest of the group. sometimes, nagito just follows you around the island like a lost little puppy

often distressed by the fact you are dismissive of nagito’s dreams for hope. it’s hope! it’s the manifestation of absolute good, how could you not believe in it?

finds you quite useful in trials, it’s almost as if you already know what happened!

generally, nagito has positive views of you. until he went into the final dead room…

at first, he was confused at by your student profile; there was no written date of birth, no ultimate talent written— general info that is important in hope’s peak… because of this, he was able to piece together though that you were the traitor.

after leaving the funhouse, nagito established a rendezvous with you at night in the hotel.

“why, hello there, s/o.” nagito snarled at you, a certain type of fury in his eyes. “what is it, nagito? it’s kinda late. and, after that funhouse, i want nothing more but to eat and sleep…” you pouted

“haha… it’s okay, s/o, really! you can drop the act already. i know you’re the traitor.” nagito laughed, waving his hand as he walked towards you. “traitor? don’t be stupid, nagito.” you huffed out, just about to leave the hotel.

nagito pulled out the book of student profiles as a ball of anxiety set itself in your stomach. nagito flipped to the page with your student profile on it, a photo of you in the hope’s peak uniform on the top left corner. “would you care then to explain why so much information is left out?” he tilted his head.

you remained silent for awhile, a million thoughts running through your head before you sighed out. “can’t believe i got caught so easily…” nagito’s eyes widened. “so i was right, huh?” you rolled your eyes at him before answering him. “not exactly… i could tell you everything if you were to say… sell me your soul..?” you subtly raised an eyebrow to him.

“sell… my soul? what are you talking about?” nagito awkwardly laughed, clearly confused by what you meant. “look… i’m not exactly the mastermind. more like… an accomplice? i was summoned from hell and we made a deal~…” you calmly explained. “if you were to give me your soul’s eternal enslavement… i’ll tell you anything you wish to know” you grinned, reached a hand towards him.

nagito thought about it before his hand locked with yours, a colorful aura filling the hotel, the glow reaching even the cottages. “deal.” plenty of information immediately filled nagito’s head as he finally started to piece it all together.

the tragedies were truly horrific, not to mention junko enoshima’s constant interruption with the future foundation’s plans, causing this awful killing game; nothing but pure and utter despair. the look on nagito’s face was one of pure horror, a panicked look all over his face as he had a cold sweat. “haah… haha…” he huffed out, his muscles stiffening in fear. “i see… i..” a despairful look filling his eyes.

and that was the night that nagito disappeared, beginning to work on his master plan.

nagito hid from the rest of you, carefully stalking you and making sure you wouldn’t ruin his plan.

he’d begin to fall back into his ‘servant’ persona; creating the bomb and creating that fake threat.

fueled by his hatred for you, he’d hyper-fixate on everything you do; making sure that despite his classmates’ atrocities, you wouldn’t hurt them.

and as he lay there on that cold floor, spear cord in hand, he made a promise; he’ll do whatever to make sure that he’d get you and the mastermind killed. even if it meant killing his classmates. and, even if it cost his soul.

— kokichi ouma

curious of you… fascinated by your cold demeanor and your distaste for chit-chat… you’re quite similar to maki, huh?

and because of those, he’s able to conclude you’re hiding something as well.

he can feel something is off whenever you talk about your ultimate talent, but he just can’t figure out why. why would anyone lie about their ultimate talent?

it is not until late one night. kokichi was skipping away from kiyo’s lab, caged child book in hand, that he sees you and tsumugi talking in one of the dark empty rooms.

‘curious… why would that be?’ he wonders, as he presses an ear close by.

“tsumugi… this plot of yours is getting complex. you’re deluding the students with too much truth and lies bullshit. at this point, it’s not danganronpa anymore.” you protested. “enough already… you promised to aid our team, so long as you get my soul when i die.”

soul? what’s that supposed to mean? were you some kind of superhuman?

“even you have to admit, this is really meta…” you muttered. “it’s okay, we have scriptwriters to fix that! now, i need to request something of you.” tsumugi started. “i need you to put a stop to kokichi. his character is getting out of control, make sure that he doesn’t do anything to reveal the ending.” she stated. you huffed out grumpily. “understood…”

kokichi’s eyes widened, running off as quietly as he could as to make sure he wouldn’t be caught.

put a stop to him? would he be killed? kokichi thought rapidly about the possibilities.

as a result of that, he started to become more unhinged as to keep himself safe from you. all of this ending up getting miu and gonta killed…

kokichi knew he was in danger, he’d have to hide to keep himself safe. any minute now, tsumugi would have you kill him…

in the end, he decided to lie, as per usual. he lied that he was the mastermind after all!

“soo, the mastermind you’re looking for… is me!” a monstrous look on kokichi’s face. as kaito attempted to attack him, the many exisals surrounding kokichi, prepared to attack.

you held kaito back, an angered look on his face. “s/o! what the hell are you doing?! we have to kill the mastermind to finally end this killing game!” he shouted. “kaito! listen, we have to be careful…” shuichi sighed out, grippinghis chin thoughtfully. “shuichi’s right, we shouldn’t act so brashly. if kokichi really is the mastermind, he’ll be—“ you sternly said before being interrupted, grabbed by the legs by an exisal.

“yoink! s/o, you’re coming with mee!!” kokichi sang happily. shuichi grimaced, looking kokichi in the eye. “this isn’t over, kokichi.” kokichi grinned as he walked away. “oh, but it is over! when i play a game, i intend to win.”

when you woke up, you were in the exisal hangar, a red bean curd bun and a box of milk in front of you.

“tell me what you are.” kokichi frowned, him beside your body, crisscrossed legs beside your head. “well uh… my name is s/o… and i was just knocked out by the mastermind.” you snidely replied. “don’t give me that bullshit, i know you were told to keep an eye on me.” kokichi’s eyes glared at you.

your eyes widened before you sighed, sitting up on your butt. “guess the cat’s out of the bag…” you laughed. “well… i’m a demon overlord from hell… i was summoned by team danganronpa to help with their killing games. i have to admit though, recently… it’s been getting a bit dry.”

“then… would you like to… make a deal?” kokichi questioned hesitantly, unsure of how this would work. “interesting… do tell me, what are your terms?” you leaned forward.

“you help me execute my plan, in return… i’ll give you my soul.” he said. “ah… this would be breaking my terms with tsumugi… oh well, i can’t resist a good deal.” you grinned, shaking your hand with kokichi’s, effectively sealing the deal.

“so then, what is it you need?” you tilted your head, finally taking a bite of the food before you. “i need you.. to kill me.” kokichi said, the most serious you’ve ever seen him. “this means you’ll be the blackened, okay?”

you nodded you head. “how exciting… i can’t wait to see how i’ll be executed.” you said, wondering out loud. “no, i want to make a case where the mastermind can’t know who the victim is. i’m sure that… this will end the killing game for sure.”

you thought about it, before nodding. “alright then, where should we begin?”

[tachimichishrine]

I swear no one does Higuchi justice like c’mon I’m BEGGING to be her cute wife that cooks for her whenever she comes from the Mafia. The chokehold she has on me is just *mwah* she’d be so sweet

also love your tachihara fanfiction it’s my dinner everyday <3

<never been crazy abt higuchi but writing for her just,,, it did smth ok- GAH HOW IS THERE NOT A SINGLE FIC OUT THERE FOR HER?? also you're so sweet ill be sure to feed u properly huheeheheh... thank you for your service to the tachi community btw, all the best w your writing n future fics ^w^ >

"housewife"

⫭◦⨝◦⫬

higuchi ichiyo x wife! reader

warnings: i attempt fluff again ; this is so short idk why, apologies my liege ; this is fiction bc there's no way i could cook smth and not poison my wife/ burn the house down in the process ,,, ; tw bath!! (/j it's all just fluff) ; l e s b i a n s ; love language is phys touch deal with it ; itty bitty cursing ; lowercase intended ; NOT proofread

you knew not to panic in such situations. waking up to disheveled sheets that had turned frigid, indicating that ichiyo had been gone too long. you allowed yourself to sleep in, given that you had the day off and decided you'd just lounge around, take a break and plan something nice for your lover in the meantime.

a stress-free period, but all you felt was anxiety when you dialed her number and got sent straight to voicemail repeatedly. this time, you decided you might as well actually leave a message when the line rang for too long.

"'chiyo, honey, call me back when you get this. just wanna make sure everything's okay, alright? I miss you already, love y-"

"who the hell is this?"

you'd been anticipating the automated voice so much that it barely registered that you didn't actually hear it this time, and a quick glance at the screen confirmed that you really were on call with someone on the other end of the line. the voice was raspy, definitely not hers, so you echoed back the question.

"um, who are you?" you challenged with a hand on your hip that they couldn't see.

except, instead of a response, you heard some distant voices on the other line, one rather hyper as it babbled something you interpreted as 'akutagawa-senpai!'. a few noises ensued along a brief chaos you couldn't see, and suddenly the phone was put back to someone's ear as they panted. you could recognize that heavy breathing anywhere.

"hey, hey, 'chiyo, what's going on?" you spoke softly, hoping she was alright and not trying to scare her.

she stuttered nervously. "sorry, I'm so sorry, I must've dropped my phone somewhere and akutagawa-senpai picked it up and-"

"woah, was that the akutagawa you're always talking about?" you couldn't believe it; after being with her for so long, you'd only ever heard stories about the people with whom she worked. you agreed that the kind of place where she operated was dangerous and it was better not to get yourself involved, so she kept you separated from everything she did. you appreciated the thought, but sometimes you felt a little frustrated that you couldn't meet the people in her life— you didn't even think they were aware ichiyo was married.

a tired sigh confirmed your theory. "look, [_____], I'll call you back when-"

"higuchi, who is that?"

akutagawa seemed to be speaking again, and quite frankly you didn't like his tone. if you were on speaker, you'd set him straight but for now you just listened to ichiyo ramble a response while not actually answering the question. he sounded tired of the bullshit and eventually the line was cut off harshly. something told you that you won't be able to call this number anymore.

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music played on the speaker as you hummed, tray of baked goods getting pulled out of the oven by your gloved mitten. the smell filled out the rather small place you shared with both your wife and sister-in-law, but the latter was out for the week on some kind of trip and left you all alone. you'd gotten used to ichiyo's erratic lifestyle, sometimes disappearing during the day and barely making it home at night. she sounded exhausted when she did arrive, so you didn't mind taking care of the little things.

proud of yourself, you put the assorted goods in various plates and left them on the table, waiting for her to come home. you couldn't call her, obviously, since it appears her boss had pulverized the device out of rage. you'd be worried if not for the fact that, based on her stories, it seemed this was a regular occurrence and she didn't mind it. you'd feel jealous of the man if it weren't for the fact that she fawned over you much harder in all the days you'd known her. she knows what she wants and does everything to get it, you'll give her that. by nature, ichiyo was incredibly caring and it was difficult to hold that against her

something was in your hands as you lounged on the couch, passing the time: a book, your phone, anything to keep your mind occupied. the sun had set and you were getting impatient, as nighttime meant she was going to be out until the early hours and might even come home with a particular scent on her clothing that resembled blood and death. how a person so sweet, so feeling could get into this kind of business was beyond you, much less how she could last thing long. she once told you that the only reason she could keep her mind this long was coming home to your soft kisses and pampering.

a clicking of the front lock and the creaking that ensued signaled that you were about to do that once more, and you strolled over to the entrance with an excited smile.

"welcome home, 'chiyo, how wa-" you caught yourself off when you saw a splatter of crimson along her cheek. your lips tugged downwards into a frown as a reflex, and you sighed gently once you saw her expression. she seemed so conflicted, not about whatever crime she'd done but about making you worry so quickly. "hey, hey, it's okay, c'mere."

with that, you pulled her into your embrace and set a kiss on her hair. it still smelled like that shampoo you'd bought her, a subtle vanilla and chamomile that reminded you of her. her entire body slumped into your strong arms, and she let you drag her across the house, shedding her shoes, meticulously pulling the elastic out of her hair to let her messy bun fall into a bob, then helping her out of her unbuttoned jacket. you pulled her body into yours as you laid down on the couch again, but this time with her head shoved into your chest, which was one of her favourite things to do.

"wanna talk about it?" you asked, dumbly, one of your regular antics. of course she wanted to talk about it; she did an awful job keeping things to herself anyways.

so, you listened carefully while she recounted stories with fake names to keep you protected and vague details in certain places, specific in others. she didn't seem hungry, so you just skipped the food for now and dragged her to your bedroom. you were about to throw her pajamas and get her to change so you could just lay down in bed for the evening, but the burgundy was darkening on patches on her arm and you couldn't help but stare at it.

"—so akutawaga-senpai showed up and I felt a little stupid but he-" you interrupted her by grabbing her shoulders and giving her a little shake.

"honey, can we clean off... that..." you danced around the topic, but she knew exactly what you meant when your eyes kept darting to certain areas of her skin. she nodded and you gave her a quick kiss on her forehead. "I'll run the bath and we can scrub it off. keep going, I'm listening."

she continued speaking as you did exactly that and eventually both of you were stripped and laying down in the tub. she was sitting in between your legs, with her back resting on your chest and head leaning back to rest on your shoulder. you traced her body, rubbing into certain patches until her skin was back to its beautiful glow. the warmth of both her and the water was too comforting, and you stayed longer than needed, your fingertips turning raisin-like in protest. despite this, you leaned down to kiss her up and down her neck while you gently massaged her flesh from her thighs to her hips, her stomach to her breasts. if she wasn't so tired that she eventually ran out of steam and stopped talking just to revel in your embrace, you might've handled her a little differently. yet, at this moment the only desire you had was to pamper her.

"ichiyo..." you breathed out slowly, lips grazing her ear while you kissed her again and spread out your fingers over her stomach. "mmmmn... 'missed you... i love you s'much..."

god, you would break her if you kept this up. so long together that you finally managed to put a ring on it yet she still fangirled over you like you were her high school crush. even as you pulled yourselves out of the sanctuary of steam and warmth in order to actually eat, she blushed every time you left a quick peck on her cheek or rubbed noses while chuckling softly.

she fell asleep in your arms, with her leg on top of you pulling you close like her very own plushie. it was hard not to smile at her once she began snoring and murmuring something about akutagawa during her slumber.

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hand in hand, you snuggled up in big jackets in the middle of the night to fend off the frigid breeze. holding onto your fingers wasn't enough, and ichiyo was fully clinging onto your bicep as you walked with her in the empty streets of yokohoma.

"this s-sounded so m-much more fun when w-we were inside... warm... by the f-fireplace.." her teeth chattered and she pulled herself closer into you.

"you were the one who suggested getting something from the café," you retorted with a chuckle, opposite hand brought up to tuck her hair behind her ear that was starting to turn pink from the cold. you rubbed your thumb along her cheek which was going through something similar, then sighed with a cloud of hot breath. "alright, honey we'll head in. i think there's another one on this street, we can just stay there and warm up before we go back, mkay?"

she would feel a bit ashamed about being so demanding if you hadn't pulled her in tighter and looked at her so lovingly. she had such an impossible time never believing she was capable enough at the mafia, and that discomfort disappeared as soon as you whispered sweet nothings into her ear and made her feel like everything was alright.

you turned your bodies together, door jingling as you stepped inside and the air blowing down from the heater hitting you. you realized that she was right, it was too damn cold outside, as soon as you felt the contrast of the inside. you turned towards your lover with a quick look to see if her body was as relieved as yours, but she was staring at something intensely on the horizon, like she'd seen a ghost.

you followed her gaze, and it fell on a man with tuffs of white in his hair standing next to a woman, slightly shorter but with noticeably long stands of black veiling the sides of her face.

"do you know them?" you whispered, and she jumped a little. part of her wanted to drag you outside, but she couldn't lie to you or keep things no matter how much her common sense told her to.

"that's... they're..." she was struggling to say something, anything, but you noticed she was letting herself get flustered. in these kinds of situations, you liked to interrupt her with a kiss to bring her back to earth from her constantly overreacting mind.

she pulled away before your lips could touch.

she'd never done that before.

you knew better, that this was probably a question of her not wanting the pda right now or maybe it had something to do with the duo standing over there waiting for their drinks, but it hurt nonetheless when you saw her squint her eyes shut and shake her head.

"that's akutagawa," she whispered as an explanation, and you felt simultaneously irritated and relieved, the former due to the fact that it confirmed that she hadn't told her boss that she was in a relationship, much less married. you understood why but it didn't sting any less.

"who's the girl?" you followed up, trying not to think about it too deeply. "is that.. uh... gin?"

she nodded meekly, and it was impossible to stay mad for long when she was so cute. you slid your hand around her waist, turning her around so that her back was to the pair and they wouldn't recognize her while she spoke to you. your voice dropped so low she could barely hear it. "should we get out of here so they don't see us? I'm not that cold, I can wait outside if it makes you more comfortable, honey."

how could she ask you to do something like that when your words were so caring, so honest? she took a deep breath and shook her head once more. in one impossibly fast motion you found yourself on the other end of the shop, standing in front of the man.

"akutagawa-senpai!" ichiyo exclaimed just a bit too loudly for this time of the day and the serenity of the empty café. she bowed her head down, speaking incredibly quickly. "I don't mean to interrupt your evening but it's come to my attention that you don't know that I'm married and this is my wife her name is [_____] and she's wonderful and-"

"'chiyo, he won't be able to understand what you're saying," you laughed softly, cutting her off as you placed your hand on her back reassuringly before addressing her boss with a respectful nod. "it's nice to finally meet you, akutagawa-san. I've heard a lot about you."

he barely bothered to acknowledge you, but the slight twitch in the spot that should've housed his eyebrows signaled that he was shocked. your smile grew wider when you looked to his sister who was sporting the same look. you pulled ichiyo against you from her hip as if to prove that she was indeed yours, and spoke slowly to explain snippets of the current situation. gin listened carefully without a word while the man tried his very best to seem completely uninterested.

as much as you wanted to learn everything there was to know about ichiyo's other side, eventually his drink was ready and he barely excused himself as he walked out. you watched him do so, and gin nodded to you and said something about how nice it was to make your acquaintance in a meek voice before quickly following him out. you waved, and noticed akutagawa watching you do so warmly before burying his face in his coat and scampering off.

"well," you giggled, turning back towards ichiyo, "that wasn't so bad. she's cute and he's an ass, but I trust your judgement in people."

you could practically see stars in her eyes; she rambled to you the entire walk home - during which she didn't complain about the cold a single time and was nearly bouncing off the sidewalk - about how much he clearly loved you based on his expression (apparently the fact that he didn't try to kill you on the spot was a sure sign of his support). she was so excited she even suggested bringing you with her to the port mafia tomorrow, but you stopped her and told her to slow down for just one second. you loved that she was so passionate about her emotions, but you wanted to talk and think this through before you did anything.

for tonight, though, you let her radiate with happiness as she jumped on top of you, making the mattress creak while she climbed up to sit on your lap and curl her fingers around the fabric of your shirt. your hands on her hips, she sat down with her knees bent on either side of you like a frog and leaned so you were chest-to-chest. she tickled your skin to draw out soft giggles while she peppered you with kisses, littering you with her best efforts to repay just a fraction of what you did for her. you rubbed her thighs in long, loving motions and brought her up so she was sitting on your hips instead. you wanted her closer, and she was happy to oblige as she kissed your lips.

"[_____]," she said, smiling into you, "I'm so lucky..."

you cut her off with a press upwards and a firm grip. "shhh, don't say anything. I love you, you love me and that's all we need."

she murmured your name that night in her sleep instead of akutagawa's.

[pansy-picnics]

Hiya!

I’m curious, what do you think uknighted dream would argue about and how would they apologise to each other?

Cause I personally think Cass hates apologising, Eugene’s not used to it, and Rapunzel according to the show can do no wrong!

Oh, and if you don’t mind me asking, are you planning on updating Children of the moon soon? Sorry, it’s just one of my favourite fics for this ship!

Thank you x

God ive been so bad about that fic i swear i have so many ideas for it but this year has been SOOO busy for me 😭😭 most of my free time has been dedicated to drawing and playing games cuz writing doesn’t come as naturally to me ngl….BUT SOON ENOUGH I WILL LOCK IN I PROMISE!!!! its been crossing my mind a lot more recently snd ive started a little bit of the next chapter…Ur guys’ support means the world to me im so happy to know people enjoy it as much as i do 🥹 and i desperately wish i had more time to dedicate to all my projects

as for your first question though….LMAO yeah the show did rapunzel DIRTY….Honestly it really depends for me, but i think you’re definitely right about cass and eugene. and rapunzel definitely struggles i think to apologize Genuinely, because she can get really overwhelmed with her guilt and anxiety to the point that she loses sight of the actual problem. its kind of a rough spot for all of them

I honestly haven’t thought abt it a lot so idk if i know what they’d fight about Specifically, but what i can come up with off the top of my head is ummm

rapunzel is a chronic Fixer. whenever someone expresses a problem to her shes quicker to try and “solve” it than she is to just. Listen because she kind of has grown up with the idea that everything is Her fault and She needs to fix everything. I think cass and eugene can end up feeling really unheard because of this. Usually it’s just something they can quickly talk through but when put on top of other conflicts it exacerbates things a LOT.

Raps, cass and eugene can all be INCREDIBLY stubborn and set in their ways and they sometimes struggle to hear each other out. rapunzel i think has her moments, but generally she isn’t too bad about it; eugene has a temper and he can be VERY petty but i think unless he REALLY has a reason to hold a grudge against you, he usually just needs about a week to cool down- but Queen of Anxious Attachment Cassandra Tangled (tm) can end up going AGES holding a grudge and just refusing to check in with anyone. as you probably can imagine it does not go well

i think bc rapunzel has such a strong belief that love is transactional she sometimes gets trapped in a cycle where she basically attempts to min-max her time with eugene and cass respectively because she worries if she isn’t spending “equal” amounts of time with them then it means she must not love them enough. as you might imagine this causes a lot more harm than good….

cass is REALLY REALLY bad at asking for help and being vulnerable and especially admitting when someone does something that hurts her. i think this causes a LOT of really stupid miscommunications between them. eugene or rapunzel are both usually able to talk her through it depending on who shes upset at…and it really helps to have a third party there who she trusts because otherwise it could easily just spiral out of control and cause her to grow bitter and distant (As seen in canon LOL)

Ummm….To be completely honest i cant really see a lot of situations where cass and eugene like, Genuinely fight after they get with rapunzel. they obviously still bicker a lot but like, frankly after they’ve both figured their shit out i just don’t think they have much of a reason to fight anymore. Their whole rivalry has always been really childish and most of the more serious stressors have already been taken care of by the time the series ends. i think most of their fights are just over stupid shit and get resolved within the hour. i think they’d have to both go through a MAJOR traumatic event to actually get as bad as they were in season 1 again LMAOOO

How they apologize definitely depends a lot on the situation (go figure) but i genuinely dont think they get into Big fights very often…so when it does happen it takes a toll on all of them.

eugene i imagine is a little extra but sincere. doesn’t do Too much because he doesn’t want to overwhelm the girls, but probably just picks a quiet night and orders takeout or makes a small dinner to talk over. sometimes it can take eugene a while to realize when he’s fucked up but when he DOES realize it, it hits him like a TRUCK and he IMMEDIATELY jumps to do everything in his power to rectify it. he’s a big softie <3

cass is a lot more prideful than raps and eugene whether she realizes it or not, so its a lot harder for her to admit her faults, even when she knows she was wrong. she doesn’t like to make a big deal of when she apologizes because it’s really embarrassing for her. she’s the kind of person to send the apology text to the group chat and have to like physically put her phone down and start pacing around the room. To me.

rapunzel, like i said struggles to genuinely apologize because her anxiety and guilt can just become so overwhelming….she usually has to spend a bit of time away before shes ready to Really talk things out. When she is she definitely shows it quietly but clearly, she writes little notes with a paper bouquet and leaves them around where the other two will find them. they leave her little notes back and let her come to them when she’s ready.

admittedly i’m Not good with thinking of character conflicts off the top of my head, they have to come to me in Visions, and i just don’t end up thinking about a lot of ukd conflicts so hopefully this is okay LOL…..I would love to hear other ppls thoughts….. :3

[dadsdaugther]

sooooooo I went out to a queer club with A yesterday. And we got drunk and had a lovely night and I met her friend and she was super nice and friendly. And then when A started to get drunk and she had those weird puppy eye face and then she started to have these emotional talks with me about how I am as a person and how we’ve come to know each other pretty well in a short time. Then she also started to mention that she felt protective of me and that she wanted to make sure I dated a good person bc I deserved that.

And she started to talk about why she couldn’t date me and she was very serious throughout that conversation. She’s usually only silly so that was new. And she talked about she had a hard time explaining her feelings to the person she cared for. And then she told me that she cared for me and that I’m so easy to talk to and open up to. And I think throughout this conversation I was so confused about her intentions.

She told me that she felt a lot more about me than she thought she did. And I realised that I’ve had it the same way. And I tbh knew that she felt more than she admitted. Bc well she stayed at my place for 48 hours the first time we met. Of course she felt something more than that. And then it started to get late and then early in the morning. And she told me how she wanted to make me feel better when I text her I have anxiety. And that she wants to make sure I sleep well.

And in the beginning I very much took all what she said lightly tbh. But bc ppl talk you know?? Then they don’t act. And I explained to her that I don’t believe words, I believe actions.

I know that she cares for me. I know that she thinks I’m wonderful and I also now know that she’s felt like that for some time. So the reason why she didn’t want to date me had literally nothing to do with me. So I was right.

now it’s 6am in the morning and I’m so tired and drunk that I can’t help but fall into all this stuff. She holds me. She dances with me. She said she wanted to follow me home bc I live a dangerous place lol not true. But I let her do that and we try and fall asleep together. But my heart is pounding and she comforts me and does breathing exercises with me. And all this is very cute n love. Here’s the issue

A hasn’t fully accepted that she’s into girls and that A is bi which is affecting her a lot.

so she likes me. I like her. And we can’t date basically bc A has some challenges which I understand completely. But this is one of the hardest things ever to like each other and not be able to do the stuff you really want to. And we were both very annoyed and affected by that. I’ve never tried this stuff before and it’s really absolutely horrible.. bc love and stuff is just not enough to make a relationship. That sucks so bad.

yea .. and then I cried. And she cried and then I comforted her and my heart was pounding and then she comforted me and then I could feel I needed to make a very clear boundary. So I told her: “it’s okay that we cuddled together today without having sex. But from this day forward I have to sweep all this stuff under rug and pretend like you don’t have all these feelings for me. Bc if I will fall into it and I will be greatly disappointed if you aren’t able to be secure about a relationship with me.” and then I also said “if anything changes with this way you feel about communication in a relationship and being in a wlw relationship, you will come and tell me but till then I will pretend like this never happened so we can be friends”

then we snuggled for 12 hours straight and made out constantly the last hour and my cunni was SOAKED. We still didn’t fuck bc I would be wayyy sadder if we did than I already am.

and yea idk then she texted me a few hours later after how it was going at my friend’s place and I had to tell to not text me for a while so I can find myself in all this

so I think I managed pretty well putting down boundaries but damn the pain in my heart feels very heavy :// and I know it’ll be better soon.

If it happens, it happens. I’ll take one day at a time. But no matter what I feel I won’t use my time on someone who doesn’t feel secure to be in a relationship. Even when I know for a fact that the reason has absolutely nothing to do with me. I know that A’s challenges should and will be solved by A and A knows that too.

she’s ridiculously caring and attentive and I hate the fact that she’s actually such a good girl bc then I can’t hate her guts.

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

༉‧₊˚. 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 || 𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐞

— pairing: maggie greene & fem!plus size reader (platonic)

― era: end of s2 / beg. of s3

— summary: living during the end of the world was never easy, but losing all of the mental process that you had made was even harder.

— warnings: ANGST!!!!! heavy tw for things like panic attacks, a strangely detailed walker attack, hurt/comfort, trauma recovery, dissociating + fluff(?) at the end bcs i'm not a monster.

— wc: 1017

⋆ a/n: this is for @cmfan2005! i don't really have anything to say about this other than the fact that it was nice to work with old characters :']

masterlist | AO3

You thought life on the farm would last forever.

You thought that you would be able to wake up every day and peacefully witness the sun rise over the expansive Greene farm. It was nice to be able to experience life the way it should be, like it used to be. 

A time where the dead weren’t walking and where your trauma didn’t haunt you from every corner of your life. Though the path of getting to a point where you didn’t shoot up from your bed in a cold sweat was long and hard, the only reason why you were able to get to that point was because of the eldest Greene daughter, Maggie.

It was funny really, because when you had first met, the two of you were like night and day; she was a spit fire while sometimes you couldn’t even find it within yourself to be able to talk at all. 

You must admit that you held some sort of envy ridden grudge against her because of the fact that she hadn’t seen what you saw, that she was able to still carry that blissful ignorance that maybe the world wasn’t so bad.

You grew accustomed to being on the farm, you loved tending to the crops and feeding the animals. Being needed meant that you had a purpose. You had a reason to look forward to the next day.

You remember the day that everything went to shit and you were already swimming with anxiety. There was fire and guns and you couldn’t find anybody until Maggie’s truck swung around. Seeing her face was like a blanket of relief, and in that moment you realized the only person that could make everything seem okay was her.

Being out on the road again was not only taxing physically, but also mentally as well. You could feel yourself slipping, days felt longer, your speech shorter, and that familiar but forgotten feeling of  hunger twisted in your stomach. 

Your eyes were set on the burning fire in front of you, the daylight was slipping away from your group with every minute that passed and you were feeling completely and utterly useless. You were mentally – and desperately – fighting against the dissociation that threatened to overcome you. You could feel the disconnect between your brain and you.

You knew that Maggie would want you to stay where you were sitting because she was worried about you. You could feel it in the way she made sure that you were fed, clothed, and warm during the night and safe during the day.

Rick had decided that the best course of action ccwas to stop for the night, so Maggie was off making sure that her father and sister got settled in comfortably. She had asked you many times if you were okay being by yourself for a short amount of time and you had found it within yourself to shoo her away and quell her worrying for a few minutes.

A part of you wanted to continue to use her as your safety net, but there was a piece of you that knew you should fight to stay independent.

With a sigh and one final look around the janky camp, you got up.

“I’m going to go get some more firewood.” You half-heartedly said to the others before stalking off into the nearest wooded area.

Being able to breathe in the few of the grass was refreshing. The wind swayed between the leaves of the trees, bringing you much needed silence.

Maybe being out on the road would be different this time, maybe this was another new beginning that you needed –

You hadn't heard come up behind you let alone grab onto your shoulders before you found yourself being pushed to the ground.

A scream forced its way out of your throat. You fought to turn around, hands slipping from your hold on its rotting corpse. It was so decayed that there was barely anything to hold onto and you stared right at its teeth ferociously bit at the air.

“Fucking - Help! Someone help me!” You cried.

You hadn't gone too far away from camp, so someone must have heard you, right?

You were losing your grip and with every chomp of its jaw got closer and closer to biting you on the face. “Please - I can’t -” And like a prayer that was answered, the thing was pulled off you, a nasty squish following a knife being put in its skull.

You could already see the dark spots in your vision, feel the suffocating tightness in your chest. Your lungs were filling up with water. You were dying, suffocating, practically drowning. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak even as you were being desperately shaken by what sounded like… Maggie?

“C’mon, breathe for me.” Her beckoning was blurred, falling on what seemed like deaf ears. 

“I -” You choked, forcing yourself to swallow the spit curating in your mouth. 

She takes your hand and places it on her chest where her heart rests under the flesh, and you can feel the rhythmic thumping under your fingertips. It helps ground you.

“Do what I do.” Maggie takes a deep breath and you attempt to follow, and as soon as the oxygen hits your brain, you can feel the rapid amount of tears that have managed to fall down your face.

“Good, good. You got it, honey.” A sob tears its way through you, and you all but throw your body into her arms. She rubs your back to help push away the possibility of hyperventilating, because she needed to get you off of the grass and back to camp fast.

“I need you to stand, can you do that for me?” She asks gently.

You weren’t going to lie and say your body didn’t hurt, the struggle and emotional exhaustion taking control of your already weak body.

“Yeah…” Your words were meek.

As you walked, your arm slung around her shoulder, you continually had to remind yourself that you were there with her and you were safe.

“Mags?” 

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @murdadixon

[td-frog]

thoughts on dcas e7:

tom+jake+aiden

god this season is doing such a good job with jake. after last episode it'd make so much sense for him to just be jealous and upset, but instead he's genuinely trying to communicate. and literally saying "you always wanted me to do this, so i'm trying, please talk to me" is like. really good.

idk for sure but it does feel like tom's lying about the boyfriend. at the very least, not giving any more information (valid choice if it's true given they're on tv and that ruined his life in s1) makes it seem like he's lying, which sucks for jake because at this point he is doing everything right.

not really surprised that aiden's mad at jake about it given he and tom are friends and he and jake don't know each other, but it is a little disappointing given how clearly (to the audience) jake is Trying His Best

also i do kind of love that this very much could have been the end of it if it weren't for ellie intentionally fucking it up.

villains alliance

i fully forgot that alec didn't know about the letters. of course he didn't, he would absolutely have taken it seriously because he's the only person in the alliance trying to make it work. i do think it's funny that he and riya had a conversation about it without even checking if anyone was listening tho.

gabby finding out was inevitable, ever since the "ellie would've told me line" but i do feel bad for her. i'm worried this is going to backfire on tess tho, since she offered to talk to ellie first. their relationship is really sweet and it makes sense for the game to mess it up, but yeah :(

magenta team

prediction from last time: "if it's magenta team it's probably fiore, which makes me think it won't be magenta team." well i was half right!

i love fiore so much and i'm sad to see her go, but honestly i really really love what they're doing with jake here.

like the theme of his character is Trust Issues, and in s1 that was a lot more lashing out at people over tiny slights which was not the most likable trait. but now he's learned that that's not healthy and is trying to correct it, but the core issue is still there. the fear and worry at being hurt or abandoned hasn't gone away, he's just not externalizing it as much.

like i genuinely don't think ashley is wrong for hanging out with ally, not eliminating ally, not picking up on the severity of jake's anxieties, etc. in fact i think kicking ally out would've made it worse, bc what he needs more than immediate reassurance that he's her ultimate bestie is to build up resistance to the fear of abandonment- being able to experience the worry and have it turn out okay without needing ashley to do something dramatic will help demonstrate that it doesn't have to be as big of a deal as his relationship trauma is telling him.

but also i get it. and i'm not worried about ashley turning on him, but i do think he's not going to handle it well bc he needs to be liked so bad and is not having a good time.

other thoughts

yellow team took more of a backseat this episode (besides the villains alliance thing, but that was a bit more ellie focused), but yul continues to be the world's shittiest boyfriend. grett has grown so so much since s1 and it's gonna hurt so bad when this gets exposed i know it :(

#trevek confirmed ig, still kind of largely ignoring it for personal reasons.

predictions

cyan team should be high focus next episode, mainly bc of the villains thing. i think it's likely ellie will react badly to being confronted about it, and i can see it causing team tension esp with gabby. if they end up having elimination i don't really see ellie surviving at this point? mostly because tom and aiden are already biased against her and while i can see gabby sticking with her i don't think she could convince tess.

i don't think magenta will be up for elimination again, mainly because i think their current drama needs some time to marinate. ashley won't turn on jake unless he gives her a Really Good reason, and i don't see that happening in a single episode. and if they take ally out that kills the tension of jake not knowing how it'll go. so that (along with them having the smallest team) has me leaning against them.

if it's yellow, it's probably yul. riya and alec have not been subtle about their dislike, and there's no longer a non-villain option. i guess if grett hasn't figured out his act by then it could be a tie (in which case i think yulgrett would vote for riya, and yul would win the tiebreaker for narrative purposes (it not making sense for him to go home before being exposed to grett)), but it could go differently. i think it's more likely to be cyan tho.

i should note i have no idea when to expect the merge. it feels too soon right now though.

also! i don't really think tess is in danger (although as team mediator and the tiebreaker between gabellie and tomaiden, she is the obvious candidate for getting out via trickery), but i do think she might be out soon- mainly, i'm expecting ally to be the one from her trio that lasts the longest, and i'm really interested to see how she reacts to tess elimination vs hunter. i also think it'd be interesting if tess gets out before they get much of a chance to catch up, and how that would affect things. anyways not likely to be next episode but i can maybe see that coming up at some point.

also also! i will very much enjoy seeing alec's response to fiore's elimination :3c (not that there will be one, of course, because he does not care :3c)

[webslingingslasher]

hiii j.

i had my first therapy session today bc u encouraged me to go agessss ago in a random ask and I finally did and it was actually really nice!! my therapist is called amara and she is sooo friendly. I thought I’d be super anxious and i had so much anxiety on my way & in the waiting room but the second i sat down it all faded away which i think is a good sign. like ik some ppl say it takes a few therapists to find the one that works from you but i already felt rlly calm which was good

we didn’t talk about anything major. i was there for an hour and she let me just pick random things I wanted to talk about instead of getting into anything heavy and she said we could do that every time if i wanted, like she said we never have to do all the ugly healing work and i could just pick random things on my mind and share with her. I literally had FUN?? we spoke ab like 3 or 4 random things that annoy me and she gave really good advice and I’m just shocked at how relaxed the whole thing was? like it wasn’t clinical at all even tho she gave such good advice and insights someone who didn’t study psychology probs wouldn’t get. i literally loved it and i wanna keep going like I’m so excited??? THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME TO GO💗💗💗 Ilysm I’m so happy ahhh thank you <333

THERAPY IS AMAZING AND SO FREEING!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO GLAD YOU WERE ABLE TO GO AND ENJOYED IT!!!!!!

[toastthewolfie]

thinking a bit more abt alicia

(note: this’ll probably be updated but ive been working on this for a while and just want it to be DONE. Also i have NOT spellchecked this so apologies for any mistypes or incorrectly spelled word's (and grammar), but i am happy with it right now so here :3)

Small Overview: Alica ‘Cheetah’ Norris is my rainbow 6 siege oc. She’s a three speed one armor attacker and her ‘skill’ is a dart gun (the darts have a agent in them that causes temporary paralysis)

Small information thing that i dunno how to title: She’s 5’6, uses she/they, and is mixed (Latina/white, but she grew up in a mostly white American family so she’s not really in touch with her heritage).

Weapons: unsure what weapon she’s gonna use specifically but probably an assault riffle of some sort. Extremely unsure on secondary and gadgets (though probably flashbangs or frags)

rest under the tags bc LENGTH

Background/Past Experience Revamp: as ive said before, she’s a hostage negotiator. Except im changing her background quite a bit (she was part of the American ATF as a field agent before becoming a hostage negotiator but upon further research, she was part of SWAT (after a few years of being a patrol officer) after failing to get into the FBI and, despite how many of her instructors viewed her as mildly incapable due to ✨crippling anxiety✨(shes just like me fr), she managed to prove that she was in fact highly competent and able to defuse situations without too much training prior hence how she became a hostage negotiator at the age of 35 (shes older now so yay) and, despite not being military fbi, her skills on the field caught Rainbow’s attention, hence how she got in).

(fun fact: most of her scars actually come from setting up barbed wire, she hasnt had a lot of experience with it so she ended up cutting up her hands and lower arms when trying to learn it.)

Personality Revamp: While she’s still incredibly anxious, I’ve made her way more capable on the field. While off the field, she’s quite literally the definition of a ball of anxiety with legs, on the field the adrenaline steadies her nerves and throws her into the correct headspace to fight, though it’s kind of like a light switch. One moment she’s quietly freaking out and the next she appears completely calm and is talking strategy.

Counters: i dunno why ive just been thinking about this quite a bit 😭 Kure - I mean. She operates 2 robots. Im not an expert on robotics (far from it, i literally want to become an air traffic controller DO NOT QUOTE ME ON ANYTHING I YAP ABT) but im pretty sure that they’d be immune to a dart of paralytic fluid (unless maybe Alicia hits it in the right spot, and even then it’d be damaging the actual robot). Doc - Kind of in the sense that his stim pistol can reduce the affect of the dart (especially on himself) but im not 100% on this yet. Fenrir - This is more ‘lore’ based than game based but I imagine that Fenrir’s dread mines affect Alicia’s performance (aka exacerbating her already present anxiety). I was thinking about it and thought that the idea of Alicia nerfing herself via failed reloads would be really interesting! And then the idea that Fenrir’s dread mines (since they affect the mind for a short period of time) exist, what if Alicia has a chance of failing a reload while in the affected area, the chance increasing the longer one spends in the area.

Relationships: (Alicia is AroAce so none of these are romantic :3) Quite literally terrified of 90% of people on base. Most notably all the Russians, Zero, and Ash. She’s friendly with Blitz and Mozzie and acquainted with Fenrir (mostly due the fact that she has enough confidence in his loyalty to Rainbow) and Doc as she’s part of Wolfguard and likes being semi-acquainted with her team leader. (She is trying to expand the amount of people she’s acquainted with but it’s kinda hard when you’re scared of most everyone.)

Backstory: Okaaay Alicia’s backstory wasn’t really defined in the past but since my writing skills are better now, im working on it a bit more :D

Alicia was adopted by her parents (she doesn’t know her bioparents nor does she have any real interest in finding them) when she was 4. Her parents, however, were killed in a hit-and-run incident when she was 12, her aunt (Aurelia Norris)) then took custody of her (fun fact: both Aurelia and Alicia have poliosis!).

At the age of 18, she went into college for a degree in criminal psychology. After receiving her degree, alicia applied to her local police department (and the FBI but she was rejected, obviously), managed to become a patrol officer, and eventually joined SWAT where she proved her ability to defuse hostage situations in a pinch (despite almost everyone not believing it due to the fact that alicia was incredibly jumpy and panicky) hence her promotion of sorts to a crisis negotiator (that mostly focuses on hostage situations).

at the age of 32, she caught the attention of a few rainbow recruiters and after a bit of digging, she wasn’t considered for recruitment. It was only a year later when Rainbow was working with her unit and they finally got to see her operate, hence how she, after being recommended by her commanding officers, ended up in Rainbow.

Of course, there was a very large gap between her and the others as she was a crisis negotiator from a random ass town in who the fuck knows where (not me, thats for sure) America while these guys are the best of the best of their respective militaries (She does always try to keep up but she’s still a little behind on a few things) and that combined with her anxiety around change and these new people just kinda left her as a outsider (not that she really minded. It hurt sometimes, sure, but she already didnt talk a lot so..).

Callsign: Alicia got her callsign (Cheetah) from her speed, mostly. Cheetahs, while fast, are incredibly anxious, hence why people thought it was a good idea. Alicia hasnt really ever had a callsign so she just kinda rolled with it because what else was she to do. (She’s still not the most experienced with military culture and whatnot)

[sophfandoms53]

Anon from before, I can’t keep talking because I don’t have anything else to add expect maybe Striker got other things he cared about besides his family taken away from that terrible day too. I don’t know I don’t have any else to add sorry. 😫 Although I will ask, what do you think of the song “In My Sights”?

NOOO YOU’RE FINEEEE

It gave me like a bunch of ideas to think about and I will never turn down any Striker thoughts so thank you for that🫶

There’s already been some theories about Striker losing what would’ve been his bar based on all the cluttered stuff he has around his lair, so that’s something to think about, and it connects back to his line to Blitz in HMF about how not many imps start businesses on their own yk.

Part of my backstory for Striker that I hope to share properly soon but my anxiety hates me LMAO has to do with him losing his wife and daughter (this man is so girl-dad shaped i promise) alongside his family that day and that little idea has become an entire google doc and timeline😭 I’ve had a lot fun with it and I wanna share ittttt, especially his wife I made bc I absolutely adore her sm she’s one of my favorite OC’s I’ve made bc I designed her to be this direct contrast to Striker in like every where, even down to her name, and i just ughhhh I love her and I love them. I even have an entire fic of them already done too.

AS FOR IN MY SIGHTS WELL UH….

Spotify wrapped aboutta have my neck this year LMAOO

rt i can write an essay about how fucking good I think In My Sights is and how it absolutely captures EVERYTHING about Striker’s character and story thus far. Every time I listen to it (which is often clearly) I ALWAYS find something new to appreciate.

And omgggg Ed’s vocals make me meltttttt.

I’ve never really talked about Striker’s voice change on here before but I truly don’t mind it and I actually adjusted to Ed’s performance rather quickly. As iconic as Norman’s was, I just feel Ed fits Striker’s character a lot better and we’ve been able to see more sides of him through Ed’s performance. Ed is such a wonderful voice talent and it saddens me people don’t appreciate his Striker enough because they’re still stuck on Norman. There’s so much range in Ed’s performance and I rlly enjoy him a lot.

I was always begging to hear how Ed would sing for Striker once he took over the character bc Sweet Victory was Norman’s little song (this song is so stupid i love it so) and he ate that up so ofc I was like Ed needs to sing too duh. I already knew he could sing bc I was a Hunicast viewer and heard that man sing as Alastor. So I wondered if he could do the same given Striker’s country accent and lower tone.

SO WHEN I TELL YOU MY JAW DROPPED WHEN HE HIT THOSE HIGH NOTES AT THE END OF THE SONG😭

Thoroughly impressed fr.

Just a fun little song that gives insight (lol) on our cowboy that I can dissect like every lyric of even if it’s not canon.

Although now that we got shorts coming out…. In My Sights AMV when???? Jk that probably won’t happen but i can be a little delusional during the drought okay LMAOO

[six-of-ravens]

daily update:

for some reason since last night my brain has decided to get Big Mad about something that happened like 6 months ago. just basically trying to Constantly Distract Myself lol. Idk why my brain is this fucked up but I blame it on the weather, the wild swings between sunny and warm spring weather and dark cold winter are brutal on the mental health lol.

also i haven't left the apartment since Monday (except a quick trip down to the mailbox today) so that might be why my brain is acting up. my anxiety gets real bad if I don't leave the house for more than 1 day in a row (lockdown was a FUN time in this brain) and I think for lack of anything real to be anxious about my brain is just going "hey remember that asshole from July? let's be mad at him again!!"

on the plus side, was actually able to be productive at work today! the past 2 days were just a lot of spinning my wheels while the PM for this project works herself into a tizzy, because I don't know what I need to do (if anything) and I can't handle her ranting anymore. Apparently the boss is getting pretty tired of her too tho so I think he had A Talk with her about not skype-spamming with her whole thought process. Also, she always intersperses her updates with "I have other things to work on too!" type comments which are driving everyone insane bc like yeah, we all do too! so just fkn get this last list of revisions sent over so we can finish this!!

so yeah, work is a...joy. right now. at least we got to work from home today too lol, we got waaaaay more snow than they predicted.

i did take a 3 hour nap after work today tho (necessary, bc last night I was up until 2am and my brain would not get off this spiral) and had those good good adventure-quest dreams, so.

oh also I finally checked the mail and my laika pin from pangur-and-grim arrived!! she is baby 🥺 she lives on the pin jacket now:

anyway, plan for tonight is to try and decompress by listening to music and maybe writing. i also *still* haven't really started Fellowship bc I just haven't been in the brainspace for it (though maybe I should try...having to intensely focus on a book with very small print might be what my brain needs)

also, going from reading children's books with like 18pt font to a dense fantasy novel with like 8pt font is quite the change. highly intimidating!

I have made progress on ToTK and FFIII though, in totk I beat Master Kogha and then finally got my purah pad upgraded with the sensor, travel medallions, etc etc. I can't believe i missed all of this stuff at the beginning of the game lol. in FFIII I'm back at the Nepto Temple, which is one of my least favourite levels due to having to use Mini which makes your weapons useless. Ah well, the quests after this are interesting at least.

oh and finally, I got some sprouts in my garden! I'm kind of amazed at how much stuff has already sprouted, most notably the lettuce (but also a half-dozen other random things):

[quiet-confessions]

I was so sure that I had ADHD or ADD, potentially combined with ASD but after seeing the psychologist and going through testing my diagnosis/suspected diagnosis is- Major depressive disorder (severe, recurrent) and generalized anxiety disorder, both of which were already diagnosed Schizoaffective disorder, Bipolar type 1, and Anxiety. The last few days have now have been.... really difficult for me. He talked to me about psychosis, paranoia, melancholic disposition, my hyper-dependence, and I asked about Bipolar since it runs in my family I was not expecting schizoaffective disorder to be on that list and it really scared me to read it. I have a lot of internalized ableism I supposed about reading a schizo-spec diagnosis, immediately I felt the impulsive thoughts come on, I was scared of how my partner would react, and my close friends, my family

My aunt has Bipolar type 2 and I talked to her to ask her about what she experiences, but she also told me a bit about what runs in our family. Bipolar, anxiety, major depressive disorder, schizophrenia... even my own brother has gone to the hospital due to his hallucinations.

I've had hallucinations but I don't know, I guess part of me brushed it off thinking they were normal, and that everyone gets those. Now I'm reading more and more about delusions and I'm understanding more about myself, but also angry? I'm mad that I never got help, especially before getting like this. I have so much I need to learn, so much to unlearn, I'm likely going to need to change medications and that scares me- I already hate taking medications and I don't want to have to take a lot, but maybe it would really help...

The psychologist also wrote a bit how I wasn't displaying symptoms or that I didn't mention certain things, but I wasn't asked DIRECTLY so I didn't bring them up, partially still for the above. I was also masking hard, which has been a learned and forced behavior, especially when I'm in public and trying to focus or absorb info or perform well. I mentioned echolalia and he wrote it off because I didn't do it in the meetings we had, but I'm 24, not under 12. I've learned self restraint and can do it better than a child can. That aspect feels a bit unfair to me, but now I'm questioning everything about myself, my brain, my actions

How much of what I thought was undiagnosed ADHD or ASD what actually undiagnosed schizoaffective disorder and bipolar. How much better would I have performed in school? Would I have wanted to kill myself, or almost tried, in highschool? Would I be less obese bc of my poor coping mechanisms I didn't understand I was doing? Would I have more friends, would I have less trauma from past friendships bc of being able to recognize abuse better? I'm angry.

I want better for past me but I'm also so scared for what's in store for future me. I feel better have a label and a reason, but I'm scared of the label and have to get past that, I'm afraid of how others will see me, I'm having the 'the world is against you and your friends will hate you' thoughts, I'm having the imposter syndrome thoughts, but idk idk idk

I'll use this blog again to vent and write out my feelings. Maybe that will help me, and maybe writing will help me explain my feelings to my therapist when I see her in 2 weeks.

If anyone ends up reading this and is willing to comment advice, reassurance, their own experiences etc, feel free I think I'm feeling alone and confused right now, and definitely overwhelmed

[dykeyote]

please tell us your thoughts about jedidiah and lucille's relationship i need to know

THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME I WAS SO SAD THAT IT GOT EATEN ..... but yeah jedidiah and lucilles relationship sort of fascinates me ...... this isnt gonna have a cohesive Thesis or anything and a lot of the things i raise i dont really have answers for bc i think we're gonna get More lucille lore and so its kind of hard to like .... nail down any hard answers rn so im kinda just rambling abt my thoughts but yk . mainly the like ... Secretive nature of their relationship sort of fascinates me theres this feeling throughout that their mother-son relationship is something that needs to be ignored and kept secret . which Does make sense in the broader context that jedidiah might not wanting the kids or even his co-counselors knowing, thats fairly normal (nobody wants to be a nepo baby lol) thats not really what im talking about, im more focused on how this permeates their interpersonal dynamics, mainly in hive of anxiety. jedidiah speaks to lucille in a way that is incredibly formal - the way an employee speaks to their boss, but dialed up even higher than that, up until he starts getting emotional. the effort being put into avoiding the fact that lucille is his mom is Strong, though interestingly lucille doesnt fall into this role as much - though she does change her behavior after jedidiah calls her mom, implying that there is some amount of going w this on her end as well. calling her mom is something that is used as a last resort, and its notable that jedidiah is EXTREMELY upset before this point. before jedidiah resorts to acknowledging the fact that lucille is his mother, hes already had several angry outbursts and almost started crying. it takes him being so frustrated that he loses the ability to speak coherently in anything other than repeating jesus over and over for him to Finally resort to calling her mom. and interestingly, the one time lucille shows favor to sydney over jedidiah within the events we see in canon flips these roles: she speaks to sydney in secret and goes behind jedidiahs back, which also happens to be the one episode where lucille expresses public affection towards jedidiah. just an interesting little detail. its just really interesting to me bc it makes me wonder how long that dynamic of secrecy has been going on? theres some conflicting evidence on this - sydney references jedidiah knowing what love and care looked like, but he has a father so its not clear enough if thats really referring to lucille to be able to extrapolate it. jedidiah makes a sort of dry joke about lucille never teaching him how to hug, but lack of affection doesnt Necessarily equate this specific weird dynamic they have going on. jedidiah mentions to joshua and yvonne that he works for his mom which COULD imply that weird dynamic wasnt a thing in college so they already knew, or it COULD mean that he just said it bc he was in the middle of a rant, or it COULD mean that the counselors just know this information, or it COULD mean fifty different things . u see why jedidiah and lucilles relationship is reaaalll hard to analyze lol . anyway im sleepy so im gonna finish this here but basically im kind of fascinated in the layers of how fucked up they are and i really want to know How Long theyve been this fucked up and Why theyre this fucked up and AGH

[pzyii]

me (an autistic person) ranting about why I think Kinsey is autistic BC i really need to post this here already, I do have more thoughts just haven't been able to get myself to write them yet (to be clear I am not a professional in this area, I'm a child, I just want to show why I think she is autistic and headcanon her as it, and show that it isn't just bc she's my fave, even if that is also an completely valid reason for headcanon-ing(that doesn't sound right) a character as smth)

Making a cut since it's so long

She is shown to have social anxiety, I know she has Anxiety a lot bc of her trauma, but it seems like she could possibly have had it before, it just got a lot worse. and social anxiety is an autistic trait

plus in addition Nina said she has always struggled with making and probably keeping friends, which is also an autistic trait.

She has also been described as weird and implied that many ppl think she's odd and/or different. which is also partly bc of the aftermath of her dad's death, but seems to also be about just her as a person.

She has also been described as a "controlfreak" which is pretty common with autistic ppl since we like to have things in our own special way and routine and can get upset when things get changed or is out of our control. which is also showed in her, head with how perfect and organized everything is

Id like to ad before going onto post fear that her special interest are probably both anything art; like drawing, singing/music, and acting/theatrical performance. But also the ocean and sealife. therefore her being taken to the aquarium on her 5th birthday (I think it was her 5th at least) and her stuffed animal being an orca (Sally <33)

The next part (like i said) is how i think her removing her fear could have lead to her unmasking more. bc it would make sense for an autistic person who don't fear what ppl think of them or how they are treated to unmask more, probably without even realising.

she's shown to be more blunt and "inconsiderate" of other ppls feelings after and also showing to be suprised when she offends someone showing she doesn't know that she's beling "rude". which btw has nothing to do with fear, it has to do with not being able to read social cues or "rules". So why would that change or be something new after her fear being removed. There is not reason, theres no explanation, showing that actually it has just always been that way, now she just show's it more with her fear gone. Like an unmasking autistic.

She is also a lot like when ppl talk about wednesday. She has gotten hypartixated on figuring out what is happening and its the only thing thats important to her, and she doesn't realise shes hurting the ppl she loves with it. Like in the seacaves, where she then end up pushing away almost all of her friends bc she put them in danger without really realising it.

Basically she's seeing everything in black and white. And everyone around her is getting dragged with, without her realising shes gonna hurt them until they maybe already are

Like i said i do have more i could say but this is just the like main important stuff

[crowvainn]

sighh, big vent/rant abt my life issues bc im lowkey tweaking 💔

had a mental breakdown bc im stressed about what will happen to me in the futureeee (anxiety! how fun /sarc) and im really unhappy with the fact that my mom will never accept my gender identity (shes islamic…) and i genuinely feel like a piece of shit bc i seem to always act like a ungrateful and selfish bitch-

a couple days ago i had heartburn, because i don’t eat particularly well (binge eating and eating unhealthy food in general… i really try to not to do so but it’s hard :() and that made my mom pretty stressed and i felt horrible about it and im scared with the possibility that i could damage myself greatly.

i also generally act stubborn and, well, not the best- it causes her to be pretty snappy with me (which i understand, i just wish she isn’t so harsh) and when i was being very much random and like… i don’t fucking know, just me being a weirdo again- she said to me “something bad will happen in your life, mark my words” or something like that. im not sure if she actually meant that (bc we were already stuck in the rain at that time and had came back from a reoccurring meeting thing she doesn’t exactly enjoy… can’t really say here for privacy reasons-) but that freaked me out big time. like… sorry for just being who i am, silly and well, myself… like jeepers give me a warning before you drop something very much not good at all that makes me question myself deeply 😨

i really wish i could change how i act, even my identity, because i just wish that my mom accepted me. i wish i was a better person, i wish could meet her standards, i just wish that she supported me. but no, of course not. im sure she still loves me, even with me being a freaky goober, but she definitely doesn’t like how i am. i wish i can improve how i act for the better, but god damn that’s hard.

and with the fact that i have anxiety (i have a lot of symptoms, i can’t get professionally diagnosed, soo self diagnosed), anger issues, im super emotional andddd im stuck home with not much to do but be on devices n shit and just,, being alone with my thoughts a lot,,, i’ve just not been coping well, at all-

eugh… i wish school started earlier, so i’d be able to talk to my friends, as well as just being in a environment where im not??? alone with me myself and i??? this fucking sucks

i swear therapy would make me feel so much better, but im lowkey scared to talk about this to the counselors at my school about it, and i did ask my mom about getting therapy like a couple weeks back and she waved it off and said i didn’t need it… bitch you clearly know that im broken asf and you dont let me? :( ik it stresses her out but pleas….. do something that can help me feel better again aghhh

i also really hate that i have short term memory, and i can’t really understand some things correctly. it’s so damn annoying :C and with the fact that i was let on the internet at a pretty young age didn’t help either. like, fucking 2nd grade, is when i lost my innocence. god damn (then again, that’s when i moved to one of the other boroughs from queens, so. i got immediately exposed💀) and i was left unsupervised so much. im still on the internet a lot, and im not happy about that at all. but because of summer break, im stuck at home, andd i don’t have a lot to do besides basic chores, hw and reading. being on the internet is a escape from reality for me, but i really wish it wasn’t. im trying to do stuff other than being online but all the negative thoughts keep flooding back in my head… it’s literally so miserable even being online isn’t working to make those thoughts go away.

i feel dumb and useless. i feel like im a nuisance to everyone. i just wish i can belong, and i wish i was happy. im fucking scared of growing up, and im scared of what i’ll become. what the fuck will i even do when im an adult? i can’t fathom it at fucking all. im worried my life really will take a turn for the worst. (what if what my mom said is true…?)

i hate panicking. it’s starting to become more prominent :( and i’ve also been panicking with the thought of me being a therian, in which it’s like “oh no sam you might be a cambitherian or a therian and not animalhearted” to “no you can’t be either of those animalhearted resonates with you the most.” “righttttt…..?” and repeat. i don’t think i really identify as a cat at all but my brain is funky :< but like i do feel better with being cathearted. cats are my found family, but not my kin. if i had the ability to i’d def be a cat though. it would be a more stress free life 💔💔

now im using my ipad to take my mind off of the stress and rant abt this. welp… not helping that my ipad has a cracked screen and i have to get it fixed for the third time…. and that i have to deal with the hassle of moving soon… the only decent thing is me going to the beach on monday. maybe i’ll be a bit less active tomorrow. well i’ll try to- the summer reading homework isn’t doing itself…. sobbing

i feel like im typing gibberish now oopsies. its 11pm💀 sighhh I just hope things will get better soon, maybe when school starts again i’ll be able to cope better. (i feel like im repeating things a lot, but oh well)