#I think also me being kind of neglected as a kid has affected me a lot

[bite-scars]

Recently fully contenting with the fact that I have a big brother kink,,

I blame being stuck as the oldest child but with horrible anxiety, autism, and emotional neglect making the idea of being any kind of role model without one for myself Terrifying, combined with being transmasc and having that pretty much dismissed or at the very least constantly undermined literally all throughout my teenage years 💀

I was also just an obsessively horny kid for no discernable reason dhzjhx maybe it was the only clear form of affection from guys I was at all familiar with being romantic/sexually coded and not really knowing how someone was meant to bond with them otherwise idk. Add that to me literally making an imaginary friend that was just a caring older brother at first and you can imagine the progression of that had a hand in this also🧍

I'm just. I think enough Tough Love type kinda loser older brother that's also just super overprotective and will back you/help you through anything while simultaneously insisting you should "man up" fantasies could fix me--

Older brother that on the one hand has a rebellious dgaf overall bad influence reputation to uphold but on the other hand had to deal with the same parents I did and can't help but be protective of his cute little brother seeing him going through the same or similarly shitty situations, doing his best to mitigate the damage when he realizes how much more sensitive I am to it than he was.

Being the only person in the house I'm comfortable going to for anything, always making me feel safe even when trying to get me to push a boundary for my own good (whether it's Actually for my own good or not-). Insisting any and all unhealthy coping mechanisms I've turned to (or he's introduced me to) are done in his presence only, he's just concerned about my safety and doesn't want me doing them alone (again whether true or not I'm too trusting or dependant to notice a difference). Basically singlehandedly supporting my transition, making sure I get any and all hand-me-downs he still has lying around (and there are plenty, his closet is like a museum of old shit at this point, like he's never gotten rid of a thing in his life even though he definitely has. There are still character-print boxers in there that are pretty much my size), going over our parents' heads to talk with my school about it (having to "correct" all that would be too much effort for them anyways, they'll just leave it be at that point) and interacting with our parents in general for me unless it's absolutely necessary for me to be there.

Finding any excuse to brag and show off his adorable little brother to his equally delinquent friends, letting me join in on smoke sessions since he knows I can't go 10 minutes without following him around like a little puppy, always wanting to be in his lap (he tries to act like it's annoying but he thinks it's cute, not to mention convenient), and hey, with how high-strung i am already he decides maybe the weed would do me good anyways. Keeping the less respectful of his friends on a short leash around me, not hesitating to kick anyone out that can't heed a warning (full-stop, better not forget anything on your way out because you ain't gonna get another chance to get it back-). Getting quietly jealous over any of the others I end up getting sort of attached to, but rather than starting actual shit with them he'll just find ways to remind me that he's the most important to me, even if his friend is cool he's always cooler, right?

Idk this general underlying setup is a theme in a lot of my fantasies tbh, there's a lot that can vary between them (sometimes either brother is grosser or more genuine, really just depends on my mood lol) but the dynamic is always some flavor of this and it probably says a lot 💀

[echoesofadream]

okay one way i am autistic tho is the way i have super strong emotional empathy but really hard for cognitive empathy . And like when people make fun of empaths by all means but i know that when i feel other peoples feelings its not necessarily accurate because im projecting myself into their situation

[fipindustries]

another thing i noticed watching all of these kids cartoons and modern children's media in general is that they put so much effort on teaching about emotional inteligence. learning how to manage your feelings (particularly anxiety for some reason, anxiety seems to be a BIG thing children's media wants to teach about now a days). about how emotions affect us, how to recognize them, how we might try to repress them and how they will inevitably manifest.

this stems from the idea that a lot of the evils from past generations, the trauma inflicted by our parents, which was in turn inherited from our parents parents, stem from emotional immaturity, from toxic feelings manifesting and leaving scars in the generations that come after. and if only we get to teach the children of today how to process this in healthier ways then the future will be less bleak than our past.

this is all fine and good and in some levels i do ascrive to this and i endorse it.

but, not to be too rationalist on main, i feel that critical thinking skills is being kind of neglected a bit in these shows. a lot of their stories are emotionally resonant but frankly they depend too much on the power of love, friendship and acceptance and too little in the importance of temperance, of recognizing internal biases and trapped priors (and this goes beyond confronting internalized bigotry, i mean the much more mundane failure modes of confirmation bias et al), of when a conclussion is valid, of when a thing has been demonstrated, of what counts as rigorous evidence that actually works as dispositive for a hypothesis. essentially on the importance of Truth. on the imperative need of being actually Correct. on having a good handle of what is real and what isnt.

this all may sound unbearably nerdy and pedantic but i genuenly feel that a lot of the evils we are dealing with today stem, yes, from the maliciousness and emotional immaturity of close minded selfish people, but also from the stupidity and the open embracement of anti intellectual forms of thinking. the world is getting darker because evil rises but also because stupidity finds itself unable to stop it.

it makes me think of this one quote from ward

“I don’t believe in order, or tallies,” she said, staring out over the edge, into oblivion.  “I like art, creativity, ideas.  Kindness.  I know I’m not rational, but rational gave birth to this.” She extended a hand and unconsciously dissolved it to indicate the edifice they were beside with bands of flesh.  Even dropping her hand to her side, she pointed at the platform, and at sections of building that bulged out from the exterior wall. “Rational gave birth to everything good too.  Irrationality gave birth to every problem we’re dealing with now.”

obviously im 100% on the side of number boy here

[mia-maybank]

My predictions for heartbreak high season 3

-A backstory on Ant's homelife and how the map affected it -it feels like they built it up all s1 then s2 Ant was drunk or high 90% of his screentime so it feels like he was substance abusing to escape his family issues? Idk but I'm praying they give us this type of storyline in s3.

-Malakai realising he was infact just running from his problems so he comes back -he needs to address everything properly and finally have some happiness because the poor guy has been dragged through the mud in the previous seasons.

-Miss Obah helping Spider with his mother and Woodsy helping Ant with his homelife -Miss Obah makes it pretty clear she doesn't like Spider and it seems like Woodsy just sees Ant as a class clown so I think it would be interesting for them to both realise they are actually just struggling kids with shitty parents.

-Quinni and Sasha becoming close friends & Sasha redemption arc -with Sasha being vice captain they will be working together a lot, which will be interesting with them being exes. It would also be a good chance for Quinni to help Sasha realise her opinions or the way she goes about expressing her opinions is toxic and help her change for the better.

-Miss Obah talking Spider through a panic attack -because lets be real Spider bottles all his emotions and vulnerability up so it's bound to come crashing down at somepoint, plus it would be a good way to make Miss Obah realise that Spider's just hurt rather than the complete dickhead she thinks he is. It would also probably be the first time Spider has an adult figure look out and care for him and that would be good for him.

-Cash forcing Darren to sit down and communicate properly -because I love Darren but they definitely don't know what healthy communication is and to be endgame (which if they aren't I will personally riot) they both need to sit down and fully figure their shit out.

-Missy and Ant friendship -with Missy dating Spider and Ant being Spider's bestfriend it's kind of a given and she would be a healthy person to give advice to Ant.

-Missy, Spider and Ant having that dynamic where Ant is basically Missy and Spider's child -because Spider already has such a soft spot for him and I can just see them both giving him advice together and looking after him, especially if Ant gets a storyline about his parents being neglectful.

-Lots of Ant and Spider friendship screentime -in the first two seasons they are practically attached at the hip so the writers better keep it that way for my sanity.

-Malakai's reaction to Missy dating Spider as well as Spider apologising to Malakai if (when) he comes back and Malakai being shook by the fact that Spider's actually changed - it would be a good way to show Spider's really trying to change plus I feel like Malakai's reaction to Missy and Spider being together would be so funny.

-A scene where Malakai is hurt because he thinks Amerie just ignored his letter and Amerie is like "what letter?" -the writers have literally set this up by burning the letter and I'm now terrified.

-Dusty coming back to Hartley -they could so easily make up a reason for Dusty to come back and I think it would be interesting to see how he fits back in now Spider is growing to be a better person.

-Ant finding out Harper made the map too and being upset about it since it literally outed him and Spider going full protective best friend mode -the fact that everybody still fully blames Amerie just doesn't sit right with me and with Ant probably being the most affected by the map (considering his Christian parents) and with him falling for Harper he would definitely feel the most betrayed.

-Ant coming out to Spider properly or having a conversation with him about his sexuality -I think the writers just completely forgot that Ant is canonically not straight and it would be nice for it to be acknowledged, even in a small way.

-Cash self harm storyline and the others finding out the meaning of his name -This was set up with the writers revealing the meaning of his name at the end of s2 so it makes sense.

-Spider having less trust in teachers after Voss, leading to Woodsy and Miss Obah finding out Voss slapped Spider -because he literally slapped a child surely the wiriters won't forget about it and just move on??

-Ant breaking down sobbing in Spider's arms or vice versa -they are each others first point of comfort so it makes sense they will lean on eachother throughout their family issues. Plus I could so imagine a scene of Spider just completely breaking down in Ant and Missy's arms because he seriously does just bottle everything up until he explodes.

[saturnniidae]

oddly specific httyd headcanons part 2?

ABSOLUTELY.

Warning; Most of these are about Hiccup and Astrid bc theyre my blorbos ultimate so sorry in advance if you were hoping for more abt the other riders.

I think Hiccup snorts when he laughs. Like really laughs, not just sarcastic chuckles (annual event). Also his voice is prone to cracking when he giggles.

Astrid is very strict about schedules/routines and finds them comforting. Sudden changes in plans make her upset but considering the nature of battle, it's something she's trained herself to better deal with (doesn't mean she's not gonna go scream into her pillow and throw things later)

She often has to remind Hiccup to eat because he gets so focused on tasks he forgets (average adhd grindset), and she's trying so hard to get Hiccup into having a better routine that focuses on him rather than just his scheduled dragon feeding and grooming regimen. It's a work in progress.

Astrid has a policy on never apologizing for things unless she caused them or can do something to help. To her it makes no sense to say 'im sorry' for something you've had no hand in, and pity is worth nothing. (Autistic ass mindset). She also is so awkward when it comes to comforting people, her face looks like she's constipated when she's concerned and often the best you'll get is an awkward pat on the back or hug (insane to me that in canon she's the 'motivational words gf' when that is So not accurate)

Hiccup gets the worst acne ever when he's on his period, he just has the vibes of someone who would yknow

Hiccup kind of hates communal meals in the great hall. The overlapping noises of so many people talking at once, cutlery scraping on plates, chewing, and benches scraping against the ground is actual torture. He much prefers the calmer atmosphere of dinners on Dragon's Edge

Hiccup would be the type of person to eat shit like sardines and olives on pizza but otherwise be a picky eater I think. Canonically Berks food tastes like shit, so the only thing he likes eating there is the fish. (The food they make on the Edge is so significantly better oh my god)

Hiccup not only snores absurdly loud (he gets it from stoick), but also talks in his sleep. Like fully talks. sometimes Astrid will humor him and respond. It scared the absolute shit out of her the first time they slept in the same room though

Fishlegs also talks and even walks in his sleep sometimes. He's been found wandering Dragon's Edge at night before

The first time Hiccup called Astrid 'M'lady' her face did a weird twitching thing and he was so worried he pissed her off but she was actually trying to figure out how to respond without showing how emotional it made her (him calling her that hits so much harder when you hc them as t4t, also I feel like Astrid's famliy just aren't the kind of people who often use terms of endearment like that)

Hiccup and Astrids first few kisses were actually like, really bad. A mess of their teeth clacking against each other and also horribly awkward since, yknow, they're kids. The first kiss Hiccup initiated he was so nervous he missed Astrid's mouth and had to try again 😭

Funnily enough, despite how eager he was to belive in mythical creatures as a child, Hiccups never been a particularly religious/faithful person and that just became more apparent after the events of When Lightning Strikes (he was So fed up)

Hiccup has that weird combo of being horribly touch starved (being isolated and unintentionally emotionally neglected for most of ur childhood does that) and also not being a huge fan of physical affection from others if he's not the one initating it. When people he's not already super comfortable with touch him or like hug him he freezes up like a deer in headlights

Hiccup learnt to speak French and Latin through frequent interactions with traders that came to Berk when he was younger, he liked hearing their stories and imaging going places far, far away from Berk (pre-httyd Era when he was still a social pariah) and despite his job at the smithy, Hiccup still had significantly more free time than his peers due to lack of training so he had to find other ways to entertain himself.

[nexus-my-beloved]

Alright, welcome to my ramble about why Five/Lila in s4 makes absolute complete sense and why everyone tearing it down and making derogatory remarks make me ridiculously angry when they refuse to really think about it.

UMBRELLA ACADEMY S4 SPOILERS !

One of the biggest things I'm seeing people do/say about season 4 is that adding a love interest for Five ruined it or that Five "wouldn't do that" and that it was extremely out of character. At a glance, yes, that can make sense, but if you stop to think about it for five seconds longer than it becomes increasingly apparent that it MAKES SENSE.

Another thing people keep complaining about it the fact that Five was being a homewrecker/Five was being an awful person/etc. What people are doing is they are neglecting to acknowledge the fact that the relationship was as much as Five's persistence as it was Lila's. Lila was not roped into a relationship, she was just as much into it as he was! If you are going to call out Five, remember that you need to call out Lila, too.

Now that my baseline points are out there, let me explain:

When Five was in the apocalypse the first time, he felt completely alone in a barren wasteland. He was isolated, and young, and he wanted to get back to his family to save them. While he waited, though, he grew extremely attached to the first thing he could that gave him any kind of company: Dolores. He cared about her and even loved her, to a degree, proven by how he threatened to shoot Luther in s1 for trying to drop her out a window and by how he kissed the hallucination of a human Dolores when under the influence of Jayme's hallucination venom. Whether the love was real or not, he felt that it was, and it was a result of forced proximity and a lonely person wanting affection ("we only had each other")

When Five ended up trapped in the subway, he was lonely in yet another wasteland with more dangers than before. He felt isolated from the world around him, wanted to get back home to save his family (sound familiar yet?) but this time he was years older. He and Lila spent seven years on that subway, alone, together, and as would happen with forced proximity they got close. (I've heard people argue that they would've had a good sibling dynamic and that the romance ruined it, but the parallels between Lila and Dolores here are kind of obvious, I thought.) Five got attached to Lila, cared about her, and grew to love her (again, whether it was true love or not, that didn't matter when he thought he loved her, at least). In fact, throughout the entire show, Five has never smiled like he did when he was with Lila. He was happy. He did love her.

Often, Five is the one blamed for the relationship (that I have seen; I haven't yet seen ANYONE say Lila was also at fault). The issue is, Lila was the one who was married, the one who had kids, and yet she encouraged the relationship anyway. She didn't think she would get back to Diego, after a while. They were making the best of what they had, and personally, I don't think anything is wrong with the fact they had a relationship while in the subway - neither of them thought they would get home. Lila wasn't intending to cheat, she just didn't think she'd be able to get back to them and wasn't going to spend the rest of her life miserable. Five wasn't intending to play homewrecker, he fell in love and she encouraged it - what was he supposed to do? They were together of their own free wills. I think it's alright that they were together, but if you're going to blame anyone about it, both of them deserve blame because both of them were equal parts into the relationship.

I have heard people say that the stopping to rest was out of character and that it wasn't the same Five who fought 45 years in an apocalypse to get back to his family. That's the thing, though, isn't it? Five has done nothing but work to save his family since he was thirteen years old. 45 years in an apocalypse, a hellish two-ish weeks between saving them from a falling moon, WWIII in the 60s, and trying to get them out of a hotel that was hellbent on killing them. Then, when they get out, no powers, they all go their separate ways and he is no longer right with his family. He spends six years without them, working for the CIA, because working is all he knows how to do now (it's clear he hardly has a life for himself, seeing as everyone else's life was shown but Five had nothing outside of work), and when he gets put in another apocalypse for seven years you all are mad at him for wanting to have a break? For wanting something domestic? At face value, yes, it seems out of character, and it seems slightly selfish compared to his past actions, but when you really think about it IT MAKES SENSE HE'D WANT A BREAK. His life since he was 13 has been dictated by running himself ragged for his family's sake and now he might not be able to get home (similar to how it was in his first apocalypse). He's not at fault for wanting to go somewhere that he can rest. Wanting to have some sense of domesticity with Lila isn't bad.

The entire arc made sense! Five and Lila shared an experience with the commission. Both of them had been subject to The Handler and they could bond over it. Both had been through different apocalypses/problems (Hotel Oblivion, Lila was there in the sixties, they were now in the subway together) together, and both knew what it was like to get irritated by a crazy family (both, consequently, being subject to the Hargreeves). Sure, they fought in the past, and in past seasons their relationship would have never worked, but in that subway? In the subway it made sense. In fact, the show could have gone well either with or without their relationship, but adding in the relationship added to the watcher feeling the same level of defeat as Five did at the end. Losing everything, now having to lose his life, it gives the watcher empathy after watching the breakup.

Truly, I haven't seen anyone say that Five deserved sympathy for the breakup. He did deserve it, though: he was made to fall in love with Lila, and then the moment she found out they could go home, she was running off to leave like she was ready to ignore that they ever happened. He had been in love with her, made her gifts, called her "love", said that he "aimed to please" as he tried to make her happy, held her so gently when he'd kiss her because he was sweet and tender and this was the first real love he'd gotten to have, and he wanted to do it right. Then, the moment he told her she could go home, she was ready to leave, and she looked him in the eyes and said that "it was survival", practically throwing his heart to the ground and shattering it. They'd spent seven years together and he'd grown to love her and she made it seem like she was just biding her time and never truly loved him in the first place. Imagine how he must have felt? And yet he still loved her anyway. He'd known that she had been annoyed with Diego sometimes, and because he was in love and upset after getting his heart broken it made SENSE that he'd be bitchy towards Diego. Yes, she was Diego's wife, but Five was in love with her, and he was jealous that after everything they went through Diego still got to have her. He fought Diego to get out that frustration, even if (in my heart of heart's) it wasn't really frustration at Diego, but instead just generalized feelings of hurt. He dealt with it the way he dealt with things in the past: he fought. Five was forced to be a fighter, and it was the end of the world, it's not like he'd allow himself to cry. If anything, Five fighting Diego was the MOST in character thing they could've done after that, and yet people are upset at him for fighting his brother! That final "it's over, Five" that Lila said after breaking up the fight broke his heart, you could see that, in both his face and the way he blipped to the subway, ready to leave. He was heartbroken, there didn't seem to be a way to end this apocalypse, and again, Five wanted to rest. He loved her, she hurt him, and yet he STILL held her when she broke down after sending her family and the kids away on the train. He was strong, but you could tell he was hurting.

Their relationship wouldn't have worked anywhere besides the subway but it happening there made perfect sense, it made for a good feeling of Five experiencing defeat and the idea that he could never truly be loved, by family or otherwise. (Dolores couldn't reciprocate, Lila tossed him aside the second she could go home, Reginald surely was no father figure and there's no doubt he likely didn't see Grace as much of a mother, his siblings were always upset with him for some reason or other even if he was just trying to save them and out of this whole time, I believe he's only ever been called a good brother twice. He only got told that twice after his years of suffering for his family's sake.)

So, in conclusion, the Five/Lila arc made sense, it fit well with the story, there were good implications if you bother to think about them, Lila was just as much at fault as Five, Five was NOT super out of character for being a man just wanting a break (he even said it himself, it was a break, not giving up), and I'm so sick of hearing people just talk shit about them. Thank you for coming to my ramble, if you were a hater before, I hope I changed your mind, and to everyone that agrees with me thank you.

[distort-opia]

Do you think that Bruce, having lost his parents very early, has a very romanticized view of his own parents? You know, when you're a kid you remember something like that but... Things sometimes are not like they looked like. I ask this because more and more adaptations are appearing in which Bruce's parents were not nice to him or were even criminals. And to a certain extent, I kind of like it because most of the rich people in Gotham are criminals to some extent and I kept wondering why the Wayne's were so good... But I don't know if that's the case in the comics' Canon timeline.

Oh yeah I definitely think Bruce idealizes his parents, and especially his father. Multiple canonical comics have shown that his parents weren't perfect, not by a long shot; they loved Bruce, but they were also busy people with issues of their own. Meanwhile, Bruce was clearly an anxious child, deeply affected by his parents' occasional neglect... and his father, Thomas, didn't much like Bruce being so "emotional". There's more than one comic in which Thomas scolds Bruce for it, and Bruce has reactions that speak so much towards a desperate need for validation from him. Let's just say, it makes a lot of sense to me that Bruce ended up exhibiting certain toxic behaviors towards his own children. And that he internalized an idea of masculinity and fatherhood that's not the healthiest, either. Someone recently asked me about Bruce's traumas in childhood, and you'd be surprised how many are connected to his parents, and specifically Thomas; here's a link if you're curious (I cite many sources for the examples above).

Overall I'd say that in canon, Thomas and Martha Wayne aren't downright shitty horrible parents, or anything of the sort. Yeah, other adaptations basically made them criminals or abusive, and suggested that Bruce just repressed the bad memories or overwrote them (like in Batman: Damned, for example) but... I think the current picture suggested by canon is more compelling. Bruce's parents loved him and they tried their best to be good to him, but they were also flawed. The darkness that Bruce exhibits on more than one occasion was there in them too, as multiple alternate Universes show. Flashpoint has Martha turn into the Joker and Thomas into a brutal and unforgiving Batman. Batman/Superman #18 shows us a world in which Thomas was killed, but Bruce and Martha survived, with Martha establishing herself as a powerful person in Gotham's underworld, targeting criminals and villains because of her obsession for keeping Bruce safe. And I think all this is how it should be, Bruce's parents should be portrayed as complex individuals with a darker side too, simply because reacting to his parents' murder the way Bruce did isn't something anyone would do. For him to react so strongly, to dedicate his life to never healing and refusing to let go... tragically, it makes so much sense that before all that, Bruce deeply craved his parents' love and affection, but wasn't getting it enough. It makes sense that, if you take a child with insecure attachment who's already deeply hurt by any sign of neglect from his parents, and you have his parents die in front of him-- the ultimate form of being left behind, being abandoned-- he wouldn't respond in the healthiest of ways. It follows that he'd end up defining himself by that trauma, and forever fear loss.

[babyspacekwid]

Astrology Observations and Advice ✨ (TW talks of ED)

From a non professional astrologer who has no idea wtf she’s posting half the time 💕

Chiron 4th house in Capricorn, Your dad may be very hard on you, like a perfectionist dad. Could have also been abusive. Could be the type to comment on your shortcomings. Remember that you are enough as it is, don’t be so hard on yourself, treat yourself as you would a friend. With compassion and kindness. Its okay to make mistakes in life. It’s common to have daddy issues with this placement, so try not to let that affect your love life, this is a personal placement of mine😜 rlly into toxic men, but they ain’t good for me, so let us be aware of that. Don’t take life too seriously, do the serious shit without being too serious about it. Idk if that makes sense but for example, let’s say u got a math test, do the math test seriously, like study and shit but don’t let the stress of it consume you because it rlly ain’t that serious.

Aries moon, especially men y’all’s temper is unregulated af. Ive seen y’all snap at stuff that energy shouldn’t be wasted on, y’all are one of the most emotionally reactive signs I have ever met. Like a ticking time bomb. This moon sign might have experienced a mother figure that was harsh and emotionally neglectful. Very hard on you, wasn’t that nurturing when raising you. The type of mom to tell you to get up and wipe the dust off when you fall and scrape your knee as a kid. y’all gotta delve into those emotions in a healthier manner. Therapy and journaling could be very beneficial. Go to one of those rage rooms where ppl break shit, I feel like y’all would go all out. There’s definitely some pent up anger. This goes for Scorpio moons too, y’all is more internal though, got some deep dark thoughts and intense internal feelings that could easily overwhelm which is why downtime is needed.

Speaking of some Scorpio moons I have met, don’t let your trust issues fuck things up. This a hard placement, y’all feel things so deeply, but just cause one person backstabbed you don’t mean everyone will. Open up to people, trial and error and you’ll find that person. Obviously set boundaries and don’t just trauma dump on everyone you meet, but don’t build an invisible wall as soon as you meet someone. Not everyone is out to get you.

(TW) Taurus risings I’ve met have dealt with some type of eating disorder. Could have had family members or people comment on their weight as a child or just got rlly influenced by the negative parts of social media. Every taurus rising I’ve met has dealt with body issues, y’all are actually so beautiful though, and I’m sorry you don’t hear it often,no matter the size. You guys are also so photogenic, like maybe I’m just the type of person that sees human beings as cute in general but istg y’all could be making the ugliest of faces and I’d still think it’s charming 😭 my best advice would be to stop comparing yourselves, and to learn unconditional love towards your body at every stage it’s at. We’re gonna be 60 and wrinkly anyways, might as well enjoy what it can do for you now!

I have this friend who’s a Capricorn sun and moon, and as a Gemini sun and moon myself I feel so similar to her in like every aspect. Idk if it’s because we’re both born on a new moon, but anyways, this girl needs to learn to open up😭 like hun I wanna be your shoulder to cry on, don’t get me wrong she will vent, and spill the tea, but when the waterworks come out she’d rather isolate. I’m just like naurrrrrr, come back. I might not be comfortable with tears and shit but il awkwardly pat your back and listen to you. Either way y’all don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, you aren’t a burden and you can’t deal with it yourself. Stop trynna convince yourself that you can. Humans are social creatures and our primal instinct is to receive and give love. M

ANYWHOOOO y’all I rlly ain’t that knowledgeable about this shit, I’m rlly going off my friend’s placements (and mine). I am studying astrology tho so maybe one day 🤠 but I got the memory of a goldfish so it might take a while, I appreciate everyone who’s been liking my posts though THANK YOU💕💕💕💕

[mathanlin]

// mentions of hunger, neglect, and cold, blood and injury

Fae AU where fae!Wilbur’s approached by a skinny street kid. 

More accurately, a *pickpocket,* clutching stolen gold in one shaking hand. *He’ll want luck, riches,* Wilbur thinks, amused. *Or food, if he’s stupid—*

“Can I have a hug?” 

“What?”

“A… a hug?” The kid mumbles, swallowing. “I think— you just put your arms around someone and… hold them. I saw someone do it.” 

The clumsy explanation does nothing to answer Wilbur’s real question. 

So he pushes further, intrigued.

“What do you have to give me?”

The kid straightens. “Gold. Enough for a few days of meals, or— or somewhere nice to sleep.”

It’s worthless to Wilbur. 

But it tells him exactly what the kid’s willing to give up. 

So he smiles. “I accept.”

The kid barely moves, flinching as Wilbur steps up to him. Shivering, cowering, like he expects a hit, a shove. Or even just refusal.

But yet when Wilbur slides his arms around his weak, malnourished frame…

The kid melts.

He keeps coming back.

Sunshine. That’s the nickname Wilbur gives him, after the kid (smartly) refuses to give his true name.

But that’s where his intelligence ends.

“Just… talk to me?”

The kid sets a stolen necklace outside the Fae circle, shivering. It’s freezing, his jaw chattering beneath hollow cheeks. 

Wilbur raises an eyebrow, hesitating. “Wouldn’t you rather have a blanket? Some warm food?”

It’s… just a little from the kindness of his heart.

The kid could die like this. He’s already half-starved, beat-up, and alone.

But he still shakes his head weakly. “No. Just… tell me a story.”

It gets warmer. 

The kid appears less, and though Wilbur’s sad, he’s also relieved. Maybe he’s found someone to care for him. Maybe he doesn’t have to gamble his soul for affection.

And then he stumbles into Wilbur’s forest. 

Half-dead. 

“I’ll give you my name,” is the first thing he chokes out, clutching his bloodied side. 

*To heal you?* Wilbur thinks, recoiling. *That’s not worth the cost, surely you know that—*

“Just— stay with me, please?”

“What?”

Wilbur barely whispers it, stunned. Tommy flinches, paling.

“I’m— I’m dying,” he chokes out. Honesty, like the Fae like. 

Wilbur hates it now.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

“Sunshine—”

“Tommy,” the kid says, shaking. “Tommy, my name’s Tommy, you can have it. Please, don’t leave me.”

And of course, Wilbur doesn’t.

(Despite the blood loss, Tommy still sobs with relief when Wilbur picks him up. 

At least he has someone holding him gently, even if he’s being carried into a Fae circle.

And giving his name & soul away was worth it, for this.)

.

.

.

Even after, Tommy can't accept affection. 

It's not that he doesn't want it. Wilbur can tell that each refusal is a flat-out lie.

But Tommy's telling the truth when he whispers, "I'll let you hug me if I can pay you back."

Nothing Wilbur does can convince him that the affection is free. 

And apparently saying, “You don’t have anything I *want,* Tommy,” wasn’t the right thing to say.

Tommy just shuts down further.

Fuck being a Fae. Wilbur’s desperate — and if that means making a deal with a human, even one whose name he has, so be it.

“How about you hug *me?*”

Tommy blinks, eyes half lidded from exhaustion.

“What?”

“I want a hug,” Wilbur says, trying to keep his voice light. He can’t tell lies, and Tommy knows it. 

So maybe that’s why the kid quietly, hesitantly accepts. 

It’s a sort of gentle trickery. 

Tommy will still shiver when Wilbur hugs him back, but it’s better than nothing. He’ll stay rigid when Wilbur asks to brush his hair, like he doesn’t know that Wilbur *wants* him to lean into it.

And the time he does, he panics.

One moment he’s asleep, dozing on Wilbur’s shoulder after a particularly long hug.

And then he’s jolting awake, choking out, “I’m sorry,” before his eyes are even fully open.

“Tommy—”

“I— I’ll pay you. Please, I know you— I don’t have anything you want, but—”

“—no, sunshine, you—”

“—or— or you can give me less? I don’t need blankets, or food, or—”

“Stop.”

It’s a Fae’s command. And with Tommy’s name in his possession, Wilbur shuts him right up.

“I want you to be happy,” he whispers, unable to stop himself from crying. Tommy stares at him, still trembling, but listening. “That’s it, okay?”

“But—”

“I want you to feel loved, Toms, whatever it takes. I want you to ask me when you want affection, or food, *anything.* 

Fae can tell no lies.

“So promise me, sunshine. Promise you’ll ask.”

And they can feel lies, too.

So when Tommy breathes, “I’ll try,” Wilbur finally relaxes. 

[peachesofteal]

oh man as much as the end sort of resolves some of the angst in that last baby trap au fic you posted, with johnny and simon more or less clinging to bee as a reminder of their darling, i have to imagine that it isn’t that simple, and it doesn’t stay that neat

you kinda touched upon it earlier in that piece with johnny’s pov and him finding out and everything, saying that they did this to you, but i like to imagine that despite having bee as a reminder of darling, everything still kind of just fractures for simon and johnny (sort of like in your au with darling setting the house on fire and killing herself)

like, maybe it’s a few months in to caring for bee, and while it’s nice—it’s nice to have a daughter that reminds them of you—johnny just always figured it’d be the three of you taking care of your kid—that you’d be there with them for every step of the way, and everything would be okay again. but you aren’t—there isn’t even the possibility of you coming back—and the two of them have to grapple with the weight that they did indeed do this to you. if they hadn’t interfered with darling’s birth control—if they hadn’t gotten you pregnant (against your will) in the first place, you’d still be there with them

and maybe they can pretend, for a little while, that everything is okay and that they can get through this, but they can’t pretend forever. eventually reality sets in. eventually the apartment feels too empty without you. bee keeps crying for you and despite their best efforts, simon and johnny can’t seem to soothe her. i imagine that one night amidst bee’s crying that johnny says something off handed to simon, passive aggressive and finger-pointing. maybe he’s been prodding at him for a while—an off-note comment here, a sharp jab there—and simon takes it. he knows the weight of your loss that he bears—that he orchestrated. but this time it escalates. i don’t know the specifics of how, but it does. the hurt grows too sharp. it can’t be tucked away in some dark cupboard any longer. i also don’t know the specifics of the argument beyond addressing the blame and the hurt, but I definitely can imagine johnny asking simon if he “still doesn’t regret it”, a la what he said in that argument they had with darling immediately after the discovery of the tampered pills. idk if johnny would try to leave, again similar to the aftermath of the darling suicide au (though this time with bee in tow); it’s difficult for me to say concretely. would love to hear your thoughts on this if you have the time

anyway, sorry to bother you with my extensive thoughts—i haven’t been able to know rest since i discovered your dead disco series, esp. with all the the juicy aus you keep gifting us. i love your work with every cell in my body (i’ve run a poll and checked…. the results were unanimous). stay safe and healthy, and i hope you have a wonderful day!

I… I-

I have so many thoughts and feelings about this. SO many! The imagery you’ve built here, two tired fathers at their wits end, struggling to keep it together, struggling to take care of Bee, struggling to love one another. Failing miserably.

I think about Johnny, who loves Simon so fucking much, who used to not be able to bear the thought of being apart from him, who now considers… what it might be like, if he was alone. What it might be like, if it was just him and Bee. Johnny can’t reconcile his changed feelings, the way his love has shifted in his heart, and that frightens him, it confuses him. Johnny who’s trying so hard to be a good dad, to take care of the pieces that are left of his family, while neglecting himself. And maybe it doesn’t boil over, maybe it hollows out, leaves him feeling like his love and affection for Si has run dry.

Maybe they get into it, like you mentioned. Maybe it devolves into a yelling match, or something else. Something sadder.

“Was this worth it?” Johnny would cry, holding a screaming Bee to his chest. “You still don’t regret it?”

“Johnny. Don’t.” Simon would snap, pain searing into every syllable.

“You won’t even hold her! Can’ even look at her. Your own daughter!” Johnny’s voice would break, like he’s breaking inside, because he feels so alone, so disconnected, so fucking lost.

And like the “burning down the house” au, Simon is destroyed. Wracked with guilt, he can’t sleep, can’t work, can’t focus on anything. He doesn’t even hold Bee, unless it’s necessary, which puts all the more stress in Johnny. All he does is replay it over and over, the day you discovered the pills, the night you left, the last time he saw you, the phone call. All he wanted was to hold you, and tell you how sorry he was, and tell you how selfish he was, how wrong he was. He wanted to beg your forgiveness. He wanted to bring you home.

Instead, they brought home a jar of ashes and a newborn baby.

🩵

[sandyferal]

Honestly my FOP oc Leon partially exists to voice thoughts I have about flaws in the Fairy Godparents system. Not to say that he always has good ideas or that he doesn’t criticize actually useful elements. But also I do think it’s just. Interesting to actually look at the flaws.

One of the ones I thought of after actually sitting through the whole show is that it’s kind of wild to me that according to multiple episodes where Timmy is threatened with the loss of Cosmo and Wanda, it is implied that they would get NO time to process this. Like none at all. Even before they are taken away from him, they are being presented with the fact that they are about to get given a new kid (who I think has multiple times been immediately demonized? I have my own feelings about that but it’s irrelevant).

So like. There’s the element of it being fucked up to give parental figures to (often) neglected children only to eventually separate them with neither party having any say in it, and then implying that it can be possible for the kid to have a sense of loss or unidentifiable affection even with their memories wiped. There’s that. But also it makes me think about how crazy it must be to be immediately reassigned. Like ideally, you are somewhat attached to your godkid but the second you’re separated it’s expected of you to be a good, loving, present, and responsible figure towards your next godkid. With no time to process the loss of your last one.

Obviously this works when establishing the stakes around Cosmo and Wanda potentially losing Timmy! I mean, of course you don’t want to imply they’d be able to move on easily! Of course you don’t want to imply they would love their new godkid as much as Timmy! Then the audience wouldn’t be so happy when they end up being able to stay together. But when you think about it being the actual reality for probably dozens of fairy godparents it’s like. Damn that sucks actually.

Debating whether I want to explore this idea with my oc Noel.

[chaoscradle]

Totally wrote an essay in @booksandpaperss (hope it’s okay to tag you!) post and I wanted to make it into an actual post so here I am!

The Wheelers are so incredibly mischaracterized by a lot of people, to the point where sometimes it’s not even the same character anymore. The only exception is Holly, and that’s because we haven’t seen much of her.

I see Karen characterized mainly as a completely emotionally neglectful and dismissive mom who is fully conservative and very much traditional.

Karen isn’t a good mom, but we see her reach out to both Mike and Nancy in s1 and Nancy again in s3. In addition, yes, we see the Wheelers with a conservative sign on the lawn, but we do know that Karen isn’t fully traditional. She urges Nancy to follow the story in season 3 despite the misogyny, and she makes it very clear that that isn’t her line of thinking. She’s not the best parent, but she’s not an asshole either.

Ted is emotionally distant and definitely not a good father. He’s never shown to really connect with Mike or Nancy, instead we really only see them interact negatively with each other. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about his kids though- he’s shown to be asleep with Holly in season 3, and he does contribute to disciplining Mike and Nancy (although not well at all, he really only made things worse).

Nancy has two characterizations I see that sit wrong with me, the first being her as a prize to win and a slut, the second being heartless.

Nancy is very independent and doesn’t need a man in her life to function, and seeing her as a prize is incredibly sexist. As for being called a slut, she had sex with Steve because she thought that was what she was meant to do, and she cheated with Jonathan because she loved him and made the mistake of not waiting. The characters are flawed and make mistakes, it’s what makes them interesting and realistic. On top of that, many characters are forgiven for their mistakes, but Nancy is constantly being held to hers.

The second characterization I mentioned was heartless. She’s sometimes characterized as not caring about anyone else’s feelings at all, incredibly argumentative and void of any of Nancy’s real personality. Yes, Nancy is independent and a badass, but she cares for other people. She’s stubborn but also kind.

She’s more than The Girl In A Love Triangle, and she’s also more than The Girl With A Gun.

Mike is heavily misunderstood due to some not understanding his arc, as well as us not being able to see from his pov the past few seasons. He’s interpreted as a whiny, moody brat who doesn’t care about anyone except for El. He’s a shitty boyfriend too, for pretty much no reason other than his parents not really loving each other.

Mike is, in fact, a shitty boyfriend to El. He can’t say “I love you” to her face. He can’t even write it. Believe it or not, it’s because he doesn’t love her. He struggled with conformity and internalized homophobia, causing him to have repressed his feelings for Will and trying to force himself to love El instead.

Mike is kind of a whiny, moody brat, but so many people treat it as his only trait. They forget that he’s a leader, a planner, someone the Party looks to when they’re in trouble, etc. They’re far from his only traits. Mike also struggles with his mental health, and it’s something very overlooked by the GA. He canonly has depression and PTSD, and we see signs of it throughout all the seasons, even in season 1. A lot of his withdrawing behavior and acting out in season 2 and 4 is perceived as him being bratty and a bad friend, when in reality it’s his mental health. In season 3 when he was “written badly”, he was affected by his internalized homophobia and external pressures to be normal, causing him to spend most of his time kissing El.

Mike also cares about his friends. A lot. He fights every season for them, he’s been dubbed “The Heart”, he jumped off a cliff for one. Again, his mental health, internalized homophobia, and conformity caused him to struggle with himself and consequentially pull away from his friends and lash out at them.

[voxmilia]

Tell me about Adaine :D

Send me a character and I'll ramble

Ily, thank you for indulging my hyperfixations! 🥰

Also tagging @ghostlyeris and @shackld bc they also sent in Adaine jhdalshd loving Adaine is my brand ig (it's an excellent brand)

Under the cut bc I rambled so goddamn much

My first impression: "oh...oh wait help her voice is so soft, oh she had a panic attack at her entrance exam? Oh baby 🥺"

My impression now: "that's my GIRL, that's my GIRL, she's got a gun and a magical punching spell and she's gonna kill everyone who hurts her or her friends"

Favorite thing about that character: She's so endlessly caring. She's been put through the absolutely wringer and yes, she's guarded about it. But she's so, so kind. She has downtime and she offers to clean her friend's closet or throw an ice cream party. She uses her jacket that can produce anything (under 10 gold) and 90% of the time uses it to get stuff for her friends. She's three for three on helping redeem wizard antagonists, she's amazing

Least favorite thing: It's more least favorite in that I love her so much, I want her to have nice things? But narratively, it makes sense. She's so guarded and independent because she's had to be. And so that means now she struggles to accept help and open herself up especially to parental affection. And it just breaks my heart, seeing how far she's come but how far she has to go to let herself be loved the way she deserves.

Favorite line/scene: Her and Aelwyn in sophomore year is imprinted on my brain forever. In Fallinel wizard jail, holding the broken shell of her big sister in Kei Lumenura, the confrontation in the nightmare forest. "I do not love our parents and though you have not earned it? I do love you." TEARS. EVERY TIME.

Runner up goes to any scene with her and Jawbone - the iconic "You're not a coward, Adaine, you're just sick, you need medicine!" and the equally iconic "You're easy to love. And anyone who couldn't figure that out is a real bozo."

Third place goes to the ping pong table scenes, both of them. The amount of times I quote "ONE GUY OFFERED ME DIAMONDS AND I RAN AWAY" in dms is so funny

Also obviously "MAGIC IS REAL AND SO IS MY FROG!!!!!!!"

Favorite interaction that character has with another: beyond the above examples with her and Aelwyn, her and Jawbone, and her and Oisin? It's so silly but I'll always have a soft spot for her and Zayn in the opening to sophomore year. "You may absolutely tread upon my sanctum santorum!"

Also ofc any interaction with her and Ayda so I'm SO glad we got that moment in junior year where they were shading each other. Their friendship means the fucking world to me. They made each other spells, I'm forever tender about that

A character that I wish that character would interact with more: After junior year, I have to say Sandra Lynn! Their scene was incredibly sweet!! She's her dad's girlfriend and the closest thing to a mother figure she has, they deserve to have a moment! Also in a similar vein, Tracker! Tracker is not only her adoptive cousin but also her former roommate - she lived with Tracker nearly as long as she's lived with Kristen and about as long as she's lived with Fig, I'm so curious about their dynamic.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: it's not at all a one to one but my immediate thought was Annette Dominic. Just? Idk something about incredibly studious girls who don't know how to relax and just be kids, who had to grow knowing they were abandoned or neglected by their parents and had to find the love they deserve in a group of school friends? Idk!! I think they'd be friends. Adaine would offer to kill Gilbert

A headcanon about that character: Though it's her legal name, Adaine doesn't really refer to herself as an O'Shaughnessy, mostly out of habit. At her college graduation ceremony, she insists on being announced as Adaine Abernant-O'Shaughnessy. Jawbone cries.

A song that reminds of that character: So I haven't started her playlist and didn't wanna just pull something from mine and Nick's ship playlist for her and Oisin, so I just looked on Spotify and 🥺 Someone gave her Waiting on a Miracle from Encanto and that breaks my heart, so I have to say that one.

An unpopular opinion about that character: I'm ambivalent on the glasses. I like her with or without them. I know most folks seem to think that's just canon but personally I'm way more team "Riz definitely has a tail" than "Adaine definitely has glasses"

Favorite picture: HOW DO I CHOOSE, let me highlight a few of my faves:

the absolutely iconic princess mononoke moment with oisin,

this heartbreaking art of adaine and aelwyn while aelwyn is still imprisoned in sophomore year

this gorgeous bad kids group shot that I use currently as my tupperbox icon for adaine

this stunning and tragic parallel with adaine and the previous elven oracle

[the-confessions-of-a-fangirl]

Buck Season 8 Storyline

Season 7 started off strong for Buck with the way his bisexual realization was written. The confusion, the 'overenthusiastic-ally-to-queer,' over-compensating with the heterosexual behavior because you're not ready to be out.

But after that Buck was, once again, shoved into a relationship with someone who wouldn't treat him well and was given no further storyline beyond that. Even Maddie and Chimney, who didn't get overarching storylines like Henren, Bathena ,and Eddie, at least had one episode storylines and made an impact in the story during the finale (fostering Mara till Henren could finally officially adopt her).

It got me thinking on what kind of storyline Buck could have in season 8. It has to be something that touches on his family (118) and romantic relationships (they can't be side-lined at this point) but it has to be something wholly about him.

Then I remembered season 4. In season 4, we see that Buck started seeing a Dr. Copeland because he had issues about feeling 'sad and lonely' and feeling like he can't trust it (4x03). Even after he got closure from Abby which was the only lingering relationship issue at the time, he still felt sad and lonely.

This means that it's an internal thing that is making him feel sad and lonely, not an external relationship. And afterwards we see that this loneliness stems from his childhood in a family with neglectful parents and a sister, who loved him so much, but was caught up in a terrible situation to be around.

But there was another aspect that we learned from his childhood. His 'reckless' , 'dive in head first' attitude was a learned behaviour. He taught himself that being in pain=getting attention from his parents and this escalated to a point where he got in a motorcycle accident. As these incidents escalated, he would have to do weigh the fact that he could get really hurt (or worse) and then go 'that's not as important as the possibility of surviving and his parents showing him a smidge of attention'

That is textbook self-destructive behaviour wrapped up in this need for attention and love. He needs this attention because otherwise he doesn't feel enough for his parent's affection. And how long can a kid grow up like that before he internalizes that?

This lack of self worth is seen in 4x05 when he calls himself 'defective parts' and when Eddie combats that by saying 'its not on you' he combats it not by saying he doesn't think that but that his parents do think of it like that. He isn't saying 'I know I'm not defective' but that 'this situation isn't about me' when it clearly is. It personally speaks to me about low self-worth, that even when he is talking about himself, its through the way other people describe him.

He also has a huge tendency to intellectualize his traumas rather than confront them. Refer to Buck 1.0, 2.0 and 3.0. Instead of processing the fact that his parents lied to him for years, he just says he's a new person because his parent's agreed to family therapy with him. He hasn't even dealt with his emotions yet and he's already packing the trauma in a box to keep away. Even his bisexual arc follows this, he may logically understand that he is bisexual but then he immediately jumped into something without trying to process what that means to him because he just won't think about himself without a buffer of another person.

So we see that Buck tends to feel lonely even when he is surrounded by meaningful relationships (Taylor in 4x08), he has self destructive habits and a lack of self worth. We also see that whenever it comes to him processing or letting himself feel his emotions, he'd rather focus on something else (he finally realizes it is over with Abby; he worries about not being a manwhore like Buck 1.0, his family lied to him; he'd rather focus on the fact that he is getting family therapy and try to find someone romantic, when Eddie is shot and he's asked about it; he'd rather worry about the team and climb up a crane where chances are he could be shot)

I want to take all of this and put it in a storyline for Buck where he learns that he only looks for a romantic partner, no matter who they are, because he wants to avoid being alone with his negative thoughts about himself or what he has been through like the ladder, his parents, dying, being lied to by Maddie, seeing Eddie get shot. The sad and lonely part of him that he keeps trying to put away with any romantic partner that comes his way is not because he lacks romance or love of any kind, but because he is unable to be happy with just himself. Buck doesn't like himself, he's constantly looking for an external change for something internal to him that he doesn't even try to think about and that is self-destructive.

Because the only external change he can think of is tossing himself into any relationship he has the opportunity of being in without thinking about whether that person is good for him. Abby didn't want a serious relationship, he barely got a chance to be meaningful with Ali, Taylor has behaved poorly in regards to his family (118) and Tommy is overall very dismissive of Buck as a person.

And when these relationships end, he feels even more poorly about himself, because he has always thought of any issue in a relationship being his fault because why wouldn't it be?

Buck has serious self worth issues that he needs to learn how to process and learn to like who he is and I hope season 8 will do that.

[veivie]

I like to think that dark elf Alver has his yandere side leveled up.

In his disguise self, he can push his urge to make his competitor for Cale's affection 'disappear'.

But in his dark elf? He just want to make it happen and barely hold back.

Alver, but more dark and unhinged.

Very day become more and more hard to push away his urge. A voice always come to his mind everytime he saw Cale being 'touched' by others. Alver thought, that voice was already gone since he's become an adult, but he's wrong.

That voice always come and said an opposite things-

"Damn, I want to make him smile."

("And cry.")

"Why can't Cale just look at me?"

("They don't deserve him. Cale didn't need them.")

"Cale are my precious dongsaeng."

("He's only mine.")

("Claim him, now. Make him yours!")

"Shut up."

"Hyung-nim?" Alver blink. He looked at Cale.

"Yes?"

"Are you alright?"

"Of course. I'm sorry. I'm just thinking about paperwork." Cale nod.

"I see. Don't too hard to yourself, you need rest." Alver laugh.

"Thanks Cale, you really are a great dongsaeng."

("Mine. Mine. Mine.")

Look like this voice will not disappear in the near future.

Alver shrugged.

He already agreed with the voice anyway.

Cale is his.

Should I make the voice is actually Ancient White Star? Heum- I should.

Ever since he died with the so called hero, Aws' world was full of darkness. Well- he guessed it's because gods are bitter. He almost become a God, remember? So they must just want to make him suffer in this darkness.

Well- that's didn't working. He's careless anyways.

Aws been with this darkness sine forever. He kind feel comfortable? Yeah, something like that.

But then, his darkness shatters? And he suddenly can hear a sound of baby crying?

Aws blink. Oke, first- What the fuck? Second, how the hell he suddenly can see some kind of screen in front of his eyes?

Aws blink again. In this screen the can see a man with blonde hair and blue eyes- kinda handsome, but not as handsome as him- carrying a baby that's surprisingly look like him?

The man looked at the baby with love- what the hell?

"Your name is Alver Crossman."

Aws was stunned. Crossman? Ain't that his last name?

Aws blink. Oh, look like this baby is his descendants, kinda unexpected. He thought the gods will kill everyone in his lineage.

Well- look like he's wrong.

And look like he will see how this kid grow up.

That's the first Aws meet his descendants, Alver Crossman.

Since then, aws watch the quarter dark elf grow up.

He was there when Alver's mother died.

He was there when Alver's father (that bastard should be burn alive. Yes, aws hated Zedd.) neglected him.

He was there when the queen sent ton of assassin.

He was there when Alver silently cry because of his bastard father.

Well- let's say, Aws has a bond with Alver. Let's say he was attached to his descendants.

Aws sigh.

"If I was you, I will kill everyone."

"Huh? Who-?"

Aws silent. A cold run to his spine. Alver can hear him?

"Who's there?"

Yes. His descendant can hear him.

That's was the first time aws tried to give Alver advices.

He was the one who told Alver to hide his true nature.

He was the one who told Alver to mask his face with smile.

He was the one who told Alver to become stronger.

But that's all gone the moment he saw a warning? From Sun goddess (yes, he knew that the God actually women.)

He saw how Alver began to debate himself about being a king.

A little guilty come. Damn, fuck those gods.

He want to tell Alver that the curse (or so Alver thought) was not for him.

He can become a king. He can- his dark elf side has nothing to do with the curse.

Aws was about to open his mouth when he hear Alver laugh.

Alver's laugh full of a bitter feeling.

"You must be kidding me. After everything I've been through?! Fuck!"

Aws become silent. It's a first time since Alver's outburst after his mother died.

Alver's voice full of sorrow. Aws feel the same pain, after all Alver is his descendant.

Aws also laugh bitterly, it's his fault isn't it? Aws sigh.

He should talk.

"That's not true-" Aws blink, why Alver didn't respond?

No, don't tell him-

Alver then shunned everyone around him.

He saw how Alver locked himself in his bedroom. He tried to talk again.

But Alver never respond. Ah- Alver can't hear him again. Look like he will become a silent observer again.

Time flew. Once again, aws watch Alver in silent.

He watch how Alver become a fine young man. A little proud feeling come in.

Well, since Alver look like him- ofc he's handsome, right?

He watch how Alver finally become a crown prince. In a long time, aws can smile again. He really happy for Alver.

Then he watch how Alver meet a strange red hair noble, who has a personality like Alver's.

He watch how cute bickering between them.

Suddenly, there's a war. Someone has a nerve to copying him, huh?

Aws watch everything, he was kind surprise his copycat actually reincarnator.

He also laugh to how stupid his copycat is. He got every ap but did not get the most important ap. Ha- immature!

Times flew again, then Alver intend to tell Cale about the curse.

When Alver feel nervous, aws also feel the same way.

He silently observe them. When Cale said that Alver supposed to be here- Aws really feel happiness for his descendant.

He really happy.

Then Cale told Alver about the possibility of him being Alber's ancestor. Alver just shrug it off- can he feel accepted from that-?

He once again observe how Alver slowly but surely fell for the red hair. Well- Aws approve! Even if Alver didn't need his approval- still! He's Alver's ancestor!

Anyways- he know, he shouldn't feel this way- but... Yeah, aws also fell for Cale.

He want to punch himself so hard. What the hell? Why he suddenly falling for Cale? Fuck.

Well- he can be with Cale if Alver is, right?

As someone who almost become a god. Aws have a different feeling than Alver's innocent feeling. What he feel for Cale was more dark- more possessive- maybe you can call it obsession.

His dark feeling also effect Alver's feeling. Alver also began to feel the same dark feeling for Cale.

From that's, Aws knows. Alver can hear his voice if Alver and him have a same feeling about something.

First, about being a king.

Now, Cale.

They're both want Cale become theirs.

They're both want to possessed Cale.

Yes, just like the kingdom.

Cale are their to be share.

[im-goofball]

Hello !! I was wondering what kind of relationship the gorosei have in your lore (good, bad, professional, friendly..)and does it change after they joined the WG ? Thank you so much in advance your work on their lore is amazing 🥰

Aaw, thank you so much! That really warmed my heart! 🥺💗

Pre-WG creation

Mars:

Peter—His son and future heir to both Aurelion and Themisto Isles as Mars wrote it. Despite not sharing a drop of blood with him, he loves the boy as any father could love his son, you may even call him protective when it comes to Peter's safety and well being (so beware on which end of his sword you are standing at)

Saturn—A fellow monarch and respectable man, enough to get well with him. Thanks to his and Tethys' inventions and discoveries the world's technology grew rapidly fast, even in his kingdom. +He is a father of two kids, so Mars relates to most things that go in his head, especially when it conserns his younger daughter, Rhea.

Ethan—Respects his loyality and skill with sword which is very incredible, since Mars himself uses sword in battle.

Warcury—He views Warcury as a very just man, who seemingly despises nobility and monarchs in his kingdom, but can get along with others (as long as they are not pompous pricks that is)

Peter:

Mars—His dad and role model. Unlike with Krono, his biological father, the relationship he has with Mars is much more warmer and they show affection to each other even in public, which is nice.

Saturn—Doesn't like very much, thinking he is neglecting Dione and Rhea in order to pursue his ambition of making a "better world"

Ethan—A very cool uncle-figure (Poor Ethan has no idea Mars views him as a competition. Marcus "No one takes my son away from me" Mars being protective 24/7) and good swordsman. Wants to get lessons from him by their fighting styles seem too different

+Ethan is not very good with kids

Warcury—Very stern and philosophical man. Peter views him wity respect and awe, because it seems that nothing can budge with this man once his judgement has been told.

Saturn:

Peter—Doesn't view him as a king, bur rather a child that still needs to be taught proper manners and ways in politics and ruling kingdoms. Won't stop his friendship with Dione though, because it is the happiest he has seen tue boy since Tethys died

Mars—Fellow monarch and father, so he understands most of Mars' worries when it comes to Peter. Doesn't like how he treats the young boy as a king of his own kingdom, however. He should be the one ruling Themisto Islands until Peter reaches his eighteenth nameday

Ethan—Although a memember of Shogun's family, he doesn't view him as royality due to his blood statusm Still a respectable swordsman and potential teacher for Dione and Rhea

Warcury—Won't believe that this man's pursue of justice is pure as everyone think so. Saturn believes that everyone can be corrupted, and there must be something Warcury would do to keep his mouth shut. After realizing his grave mistake, he came to a conclusion that no, Warcury wouldn't do that because that would taint his honour. (Saturn became rather fond of the Supreme Judge after that discovery)

Ethan:

Mars—Good king and father. Kinda envies the relationship he has with Peter, sibce he never got that amount of love from either of his parents

Peter—Unlike Saturn, he already views him as a righteous ruler of his kingdom and is quite proud of how capable the boy is as a king

Saturn—Thinks of him as a very similiar person to Shogun. A father that tries his best, but still puts the wellbeing of his country above his loved ones. Although for Saturn it is also the whole world.

Warcury—Respects him a lot, ewpcially his cold resolve and willingness to put kings and queens down onto their heels if he doesn't view them just enough

Warcury:

Mars—A capable ruler and very honourable in his opinion. Too protective of his adopted son however, and that protectivness hinders his oublic image

Peter—Like Saturn, he doesn't view Peter as a king due to his very young age and fiery personality.

+That boy could be taught some manners. His sass can get on his nerves sometimes

Ethan—Highly respects his loyality and sense of justice. Someone like him could be needed in the Royal Court of Slaviugia

Saturn—After tha accusation and questioning of his resolve, Warcury decided that Saturn is just as high-nosed as the Tsar and nobility in his kingdom and not even his inovations and discoveries will change his mind. Surprisingly enough, the man started apologizing with bouquets of black lilies, (Warcury's favourite flowers which only grew in western side of Slaviugia), expensive dinners and gods know what else (the fact that he started thinking of Saturn more then a simple acquaintance is another story)

Post-WG creation

Mars, Warcury and Ethan have purely professional relationahip, and more on the good side of it I suppose

Mars and Saturn have strong rivalry like Sanji and Zoro, but there is so much resentment between eachother and some sort of hate as well (Neither Mars or Peter ever forgave for what Saturn did to Dione and Rhea)

Saturn and Warcury have definitely, surely purely professional relationship (very married old men yaoi vibes)

Everyone and Peter have a "never wanted a child but a got a child anyway" relationship. Except Mars. He loves Peter and after 900 years his protectivness grew only stronger