#I think I would rather live my life without this
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
── homie hoppin’ ( lhs, pjs, sjy, psh ) ּ 𓂅⋆ 📙
๑ Heeseung never wanted to believe the rumors about you around campus, to him you could never do wrong and he sees you as nothing less than an angel. But when his friends begin telling him about their nightly escapades with some “mystery girl” that sounds awfully familiar, he grows more suspicious of your true intentions you’ve been hiding all along.
pair: hyung line ㅊ f!reader, college au | warnings: pwp, smut, angst (kinda ??), hook-up culture, yn is the biggest fuckgirl omg (but she’s sooo cuntyy), humour, slut-shaming (not from the boys), daddy kink, oral (m + f. rec), mentions of running a train but it doesn’t happen lol, lots of s.x flashbacks, yn is so unbothered by everything 😴, unprotected s.x (yikes !!!) | teaser wc: 857
thanks to @leeechin & @pshbites for enabling this idea LOL, couldn’t have done it without them frfr. also here’s a silly little preview of what’s to come (it gets real MESSY in this sfdsfsd)
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
heeseung was never really the type to ever engage in gossip or drama going around campus. he’d rather simply mind his business and keep it moving, it was useless to entertain it anyway— most of the rumors held zero truth or any proof to back them up. what does seem to grab his attention however, is your name being constantly brought up in almost everyone’s mouths. you were the talk of the whole school and it wasn’t anything good that was being said about the girl he’s been sleeping around with on and off for the past few months or so.
“oh you know about y/n? isn’t she the one who’s always bouncing from one friend group to the next ? i wouldn’t trust her around my man even for a second..���
“didn’t she let leehan hit it at that party last night ? that girl needs to be stopped, she’s always messing around with different guys..”
“wasn’t she just with eunseok last week ? he was telling me all about how him and sungchan took turns on her.”
he couldn’t believe half the stuff that was being said about you. not only was it just plain disrespectful, but it was also disgusting how some people could spew such fabricated nonsense as if you weren’t a real human being with feelings. heeseung knew you two weren’t exclusive but you’ve been seeing each other more frequently, which made him think he might have a chance to make things official. at least he thought so, until he saw you talking with one of his close friends, jaeyun in the library. you both were way too close for comfort and the way you were giving him those same bedroom eyes that you’d always flash at heeseung, made his whole body fill up with an unimaginable amount of rage.
you were quite popular and well known around campus, your charming persona and pretty face was the perfect combo to get anyone to fall head over heels for you. everywhere you went you’d turn heads, all the boys would be breaking their necks just to get a glimpse of you. the tiny skirts you’d always wear had their eyes practically bulging out of their sockets, which only made the other girls seethe in utter jealousy. the way you could command an entire room without even trying was a superpower in itself, you didn’t need to put in the extra work to get all the attention on you because everyone gave it to you automatically.
it wasn’t until heeseung began hearing more about his friend’s sex lives that he’d grow more suspicious of what’s really going on. he usually zones out and doesn’t really listen much whenever they talked about it, but since the movie they were watching wasn’t all that interesting, he began shifting his attention to his friends. jaeyun and jongseong were always bragging about how much pussy they’d get but they seemed to hyperfocus on one particular girl that seems to get brought up a lot in their conversations. jaeyun would say how she gave him the ‘most life changing head’ he’s ever received, meanwhile jongseong was describing how some girl he fucked a few days ago rode his dick like a grade A pornstar.
heeseung wasn’t adding much of his input into the conversation, and neither was sunghoon as he tends to keep that part of his life more private. but, what made him suddenly wanna jump up in his seat was when jaeyun was telling them how hot the girl looked when he fucked her from behind, she had a back tattoo and he thought that was the sexiest shit ever. he never specified exactly what the tattoo was, but he remembers that you also had one too. maybe he’s just reading too much into it ? could it really be you they were talking about ? nah.. there’s no way. he’s sure there’s plenty other women with back tattoos walking around campus, it simply could be an eerie coincidence. he knows he isn’t the only one that you’re sleeping with, but to mess around with his friends would be a new low for him. he wouldn’t know what he’d do if he were to find out that happened..
his worries would only worsen when he catches sunghoon smiling and faintly giggling at his phone about something, to which jongseong asks him what’s so funny. sunghoon simply shrugs it off and says it’s nothing, quickly locking his phone before he lifts up from the couch to announce that he’s going back to his dorm. they all exchange their goodbyes and wish him a safe walk back to his place. but when he left, he was walking in the direction completely opposite of his dorm, he was heading the exact same way it took to get to your building instead. now he’s really starting to overthink at this point. there’s absolutely no way you’re actually fucking all of his friends and he doesn’t have a single clue about it. heeseung may be quite oblivious at times but he isn’t that stupid. he’s probably overreacting. again, could just be a very weird coincidence… right ?
just leave a comment if you wanna be added to the taglist ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ
#enhypen smut#enha smut#enhypen x reader#heeseung smut#heeseung x reader#jay smut#jay x reader#jake smut#sim jaeyun smut#jake x reader#sunghoon smut#sunghoon x reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen imagines#kpop smut
690 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think what really gets me is what the show is telling us through that breakup. That's what hurts the most.
It's that a queer person who's sad, who's alone, who's never had a stable family life; a queer person who's only gotten to a point where they're happy with who they are later in life; a queer person who yearns for a family, for love, for being someone's first choice but doesn't believe he can ever have those things; a queer person who has obviously been burned and believes that is the only outcome for him now; that no one would want him as family. That no one would love him enough to choose him first.
He walks out that door.
Alone. Scared. Spiraling. Reacting to trauma rather than Buck himself. It's seeing that and having the show tell us, yes, that's what he deserves. That's all he gets. He doesn't get a happy ending. He doesn't get good closure. He doesn't get to believe that someone wants him enough to fight for him.
Tommy was right all along.
All his fears were true and will be what he ends up with. Older queer people who want families and are scarred by their own past experiences don't get love or a family. They don't get a place to call home.
Then, you have Buck; Buck blindsided by the trauma; Buck seeing his entire six-month relationship fall apart and just letting it happen to himself again. Having yet another person in his life, in a moment of cowardice and pain, quietly and brokenly lash out that he couldn't believe Buck would actually take this seriously; that he couldn't believe that Buck would love him once the pedestal was gone and the shininess wore off. That, once again, Buck lets his relationship play out without any idea of how to be active in it. That someone Buck loves, that he thought about possibly marriage with one day, that he wants to live with, leaves him.
That Buck, once again, is abandoned.
That Buck can't know himself.
That the show wants to lean into lazy biphobic ideas and tell us, yes, that's what Buck deserves. The thriving relationship that he had crumbles within minutes because Buck doesn't get to be happy; how can he know what happiness is if he isn't playing the field? Because nothing he did before Tommy counted. Buck 1.0 didn't count. None of his previous relationships counted. Because they were all ladies, and how can you know if you've only been with one man?
Telling the audience that you can't be happy in a relationship if it's somehow a "first", despite everything pointing to the relationship being solid and good for Buck.
It is the worst possible scenario.
It is a nightmare for both Buck and Tommy.
Both messages are terrible for the audience.
There were so many ways they could have broken up and I would have been fine with it. I've talked about it before, but I was fine with Josh and Arnold breaking up in Please Like Me and I still love the show. I watched episodes with Josh and Arnold from Please Like Me as a comfort when I was reeling about this that first night! I was fine with Alexis and Ted breaking up on Schitt's Creek and I was still fine with the show. I was okay with Amelia and Kai breaking up and I'm still watching Grey's Anatomy. Because all of those breakups were understandable. They made sense. I can like couples and be okay with them not working out. And they're fictional. Fictional shit rarely hurts me, if ever. That's not my problem at all here.
It's how this happened. It's the message it signals to the audience. It's devastating. I'm still devastated by the choice. I've never felt this way about a breakup for two characters ever. The core of my grief and genuine hurt is what the show proves it believes in through this breakup. And that's what's hurt me.
#bucktommy#911 abc#911 spoilers#evan buckley#tommy kinard#i'm still reeling#because of the implications#because of what they want to tell the audience#and all of that is what is hurting me
49 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi! I’d love to know your thoughts on Jily. How do you see their relationship, especially if they had survived the war? Were they really the ideal, deeply romantic couple people imagine?
I read somewhere that James was such a romantic and would have had an incredibly loving relationship with Lily, partly because he supposedly engraved her initials into his Snitch or something like that (it’s been a while since I’ve read the books, so I can’t remember all the details).
Hi! That’s a great question, and I have a pretty nontraditional take on James and Lily as a couple. Personally, I’m not a fan of either character. James strikes me as a spoiled, classist kid who seems to “grow up” without really addressing his past behavior, and Lily ends up marrying someone who bullied others—even while hiding his ongoing behavior from her.
In my view, they’re likely to have stayed together not because of a deep, transformative romance, but because they each represented something valuable to the other. For James, marrying Lily (a Muggle-born) could’ve served as proof of his “progressive” ideals, though he acted far from progressive when it came to Severus. For Lily, coming from a working-class, Muggle background, James represented a social step up in the wizarding world, almost a confirmation of her worth in magical society. In this way, they sort of complemented each other’s needs, creating a partnership that worked more for their personal validations than as a traditional romance.
I also feel that they shared similar values—or perhaps, similar convenient double standards. Both of them seem somewhat moralistic, but they tend to lack empathy where it’s not useful to their own agendas. I’ve always seen them as somewhat hypocritical, which actually makes them a good match. They might have matured into a more functional relationship with time, but there’s also a part of me that thinks Lily might have been content with a comfortable life as a bourgeois housewife, living off her husband’s income rather than seeking independence.
So, in short, I don’t think they were the “ideal romantic couple” people might imagine. They’re more of a “realistic” couple—compatible but flawed, with a relationship built on mutual validation rather than pure romance.
#james potter#lily evans#lily potter#lily evans potter#jily#jily headcanon#james x lily#harry potter meta
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝑆𝑛𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑘!
Hi, just wanted to give a little quick sneak peek on my Royal! reader X Batfamily fic, because I realized it's been a while since I've posted any writing stuff and I wanna make sure people will stay interested! it's sort of a retelling of the concept, but there's going to be new things added in and longer
You can read concept here.
𝐼𝑛ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝐹𝑙𝑒𝑠ℎ
taglist! - @camilo-uwu @vanilliona @thegirlinrainbowsworld
𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑖𝑛 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑡𝑙𝑒-
𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 1 (𝑆𝑛𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑘 )
The world had decided long ago that nothing goes without effect, good, bad, and indifferent. Every action and every motion will have an equal effect. This is the philosophy that was shoved down your throat since you could understand it. So why did you have such a big Effect?
The taps of rain on the roof was the loudest sound in the room. Sitting Idlily on the edge of the bed, your eyes stayed glued to the fire flickering in front of you. The brilliant light reflects in your eyes as it dances freely, but the fire is not the real point of your focus, no you are too lost in your mental prison. You force yourself to relive the memories and feelings, just to occupy your time. Your eyes can’t help but drift to the newspapers chaotically scattered across the floors; “Tyranny’s Last Remnant’ is what the newspapers had dubbed you.
The media had spent the months since your family’s imprisonment to tear you down ruthlessly. They say that you still lead a life of luxury and opulence because you weren’t punished like the rest of your family. Your eyes snap back to the fire, letting go of the breath stuck in your throat. you fall limply back onto the bed, as it creaks. The room around you was not a good reflection on in light of the accusation against you but you had no control of the room.
You wanted to hate the new place that you are meant to call home, but you couldn't even utter a complaint about it. You let these thoughts drift to the back of your mind. They weren’t nearly as loud as your memories.
You are stuck in a never ending cycle of self reflection that comes with your predicament. Maybe if your were more honest maybe you could see that you put yourself there. Everything you around is nothing but static. Your hands desperately grasp for the sheets of the bed, you no longer can feel them. Your mind races as your breathes grow shallow and slow. A sinking feeling takes over your body as your consciousness fades. You are sent off in your memories as the rain and fire grow into nothing but a quiet whisper.
When you come back to awareness, you no longer feel sheets of silk covering a plush mattress on your back, nor are you surrounded by the high walls of your room. Rather rounded stones of a river banks press in to your back as steady streams of spring water wash over you. When you open your eyes, you find that the water is not clear but rather unearthly cosmic colors whirling around as they rush over you and the stones are not a soothing gray but a chilling black, with your skies and ground bleeding into each other making them one in the same.
An empty laugh escapes your lips echoing in the empty space you always find yourself in, you want to feel something more but you felt too tired. All you can do is recall, back to the times when if you had even barely uttered of a complain it was dealt before you could even think again. You were pacified with gifts, territories, and new subjects to learn about. This was expected with being a royal, as your family had put it. They had found solace from their so-called stressful lives among material possessions, and it seemed as you would have to as well. You were always grateful for the lessons and gifts, but never once had they actually filled your deepest desire. Your deepest craving,
unconditional familial love. You yearned for it, yet it never came
You are ripped from your thoughts as a coldness washes over you. no longer surrounded by streams of spring water running over your almost lifeless body, you feel specs of snow and hell slowly beginning to cover you consuming you and your entirety as you fall deeper into the memory.
Echos of muffled hiccups and sniffles bounced off of the empty sumptuous palace halls. A child held they hands over their mouth, a weak attempt to silence their cries as they balled themselves up in the corner. They looked no older than 5, yet the way their face felt like they had seen the worst atrocities in this world could make you think other wise. You recognized the eyes without fail, it was you. You recognize this day, too. This horrid day.
Bells tolled in the distance startling you out of your ‘daydream’, not that they were in your mind to begin with. You didn’t move from your corner, you never wanted to move again. Your sobs becomes quieter as your tears dried, the bells continued on as servants rushed back and forth past you. They never once looked your way, as you lifted your eyes from your knees. They all looked panicked about something. Talking in quick whispers, they mumbled about ‘must find’ and an ‘heir’. You kept quiet as about a dozen more passed you, not even sparring a glance to you.
Eventually you got bored of the Methodic foot steps of the passer-by, you rested your head against the windows as the whispers and foot steps become distant as the bells finish their final course of rings. Back then, you thought it was funny how the bells still rang even well after the turn of the hour. Normally it was saved for the founders day and the rulers birthday; now you wish you had ran back then.
You had settled back into your abyss of deafening silence; staring out the window with distant eyes as the snow waltzed down from the cloudy skies above, but a looming figure watched you from a distance. You had become a perspective child, you felt their eyes on you when they first started staring. You didn’t want to pay any mind to that, ‘maybe they will go away if I don’t look for them’ is what you thought. The figure never looked away, the presence of the stare only grew more intensely focused on your unmoved figure.
You hadn’t move to look at the figure, you were lost in your thoughts, but the burning sensation intensified in your chest and began to crawl in to your hand and up your throat you knew they had drew closer to you. You whipped your head around to the figure, finally giving to what you thought the they wanted.
“Hello” the figure, now more clearly a man, softly said to you, as he kneeled down to your eyes level with a soft smile etched on to his face with warm gaze that accompanied it.
You were taken back by the man’s soft demeanor, the burning in your body had disappear the moment you saw his eyes. “Hi…” you stumble over your words as you were still to focused on how warmth from his gaze felt so unfamiliar yet, you had never wanted something to continue more.
“I am Bruce Wayne.” He offer out a hand to you, and you to reached out to take it but stopped yourself from taking it. Oh, You remembered that name from a list your parents had educated you on. His eyebrow creased and his smile fell as you retracted your hand.“Are you okay?”
Your parents said that with him especially to be more mindful of your actions because he was very important to your family, they warned you of the effect you may have. You always abided by the philosophy your were taught. “Yes” you hurriedly standing up and greeted him with a shallow bow, try your best not to trip over your feet. “Excuse me for my response,” you held an even voice as you rose up from the bow, keeping a straight back. “I am _ __, it is my pleasure to meet you, Sir Bruce” He was richer then your family and held no official titles, the King and Queen had offered him a dukedom when his company had helped the empire through a drought, but he turned it down.
“It is a pleasure to meet you as well, your highness.” His smile returned quickly after you exchanged greetings. You gave him a look when he said ‘Your Highness’.
“I am sorry Sir Bruce, but I think you have addressed me wrong. I am not a child of a current or pervious monarch.” You politely corrected him. He looked put off by the correction, you hurried to correct your act “what I meant was-” you were stopped short by him
“No, it’s okay. It was my mistake.” He seemed to relax as he watched you stumble over your word like any five year old child should. “I seem to have confused honorifics once again," He laughs "I hope that you excuse me I am still new to society.” You couldn’t help but feel a small flames of kinship burn in your heart as he spoke.
“I am too!” You blurted, eyes glistened with a hint of excitement. “Today is my first official day in society, or that's what my mom said.”
“Oh really?” Bruce tilled his head, rubbing his chin as if he wasn’t aware of it “Why today?”
“I don’t know,” you voice became hushed. You hadn’t stopped to think about it for long, you were just a kid excited to see new people.
“Perhaps, we can figure it out together.” Bruce stood up and offered his hand to you once again. You stared at his hand, something in your little mind started to itch. You took his hand with out hesitation this time.
“I would like that.” You gave him a small smile as he lead you down the hall.
You and Bruce spent the better part of an hour talking about many things as you roam the cold palace grounds. You hadn’t even noticed the larger amount of guards pacing the halls looking for something, while they mutter about being punished for ‘losing someone’. You were too distracted by the feeling your heart and head screamed for you to focus solely on Bruce. You weren’t sure what it was then, but you never wanted to let it go.
He seemed impressed by your knowledge, you could see glints of fascination in his eyes, as it absorbed his mind. You were a well educated child, even at this age, as it seemed. He indulged you with many different topics, from the basics of favorite color and animal to astronomy, science and literature. It was bliss for you.
But it would end for you.
“What about your family?” Bruce’s question was innocent enough, any reasonable adult would ask about your family. “Are they looking for you?”
#batman#batfam#batfam x reader#batfamily x reader#x reader#batfamily#dc x reader#bruce wayne#dc universe#plantonic#platonic x reader#platonic batfam#platonic#batfam x y/n#batfam x you#batfam x batsibling
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Titan paralleling Adam from the painting and not God is interesting to me, like it really emphasizes in the end that he was a mortal, just some guy, and the forebearer of other mortals; His direct descendant is ‘immortal’ in a lifespan sense but still very capable of dying and even human, for lack of a better term. One could say the Titan committed a ‘first sin’ by trapping the Collector, which then hurt her descendants (because being Bigender, the Titan would also be Eve wouldn’t she?) when the Collector was left vulnerable to Belos’ manipulations.
I think it emphasizes that the Titan is not God, she’s a flawed mortal, even after the comparisons to God and Jesus and whatnot with Luz’s resurrection; Because the reference are ultimately tongue in cheek, and about exploring the positives of Christianity and embodying the compassionate spirit, without being an actual official Christian and all of the other baggage that Dana criticized in Belos.
It was about Luz living the closest thing she can to her fantasy for a moment; But it can never truly happen and it shouldn’t, and she’s quite fine with that, after the guilt from the time loop Philip called ‘destiny’ and King’s existential crisis. Hence why Luz has to make being a Chosen One happen, rather than the Titan deciding it for her before Luz was born. There is no higher entity imbuing meaning or laying out destiny, the time loop was just temporal physics preventing a paradox, things just happen without any grand purpose or design to it.
Likewise, given my analysis on TOH expressing Dana’s relationship with Christianity, this could also be a nod to that; Dana having a complicated relationship with the idea of God in her life, and the Titan being a way to explore that. And fittingly it’s reiterated in the idea of a mortal reaching out to understand the connection there.
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
taecho a/b/o au where I am an alpha taehyung is omega and he is making me go like this
with his perfect perfect perfect lean toned long fleshy smooth silky soft perfect perfect body he probably smells like earth and ocean and honey and musk and strawberry and caramel and vanilla and my alpha needs to claim him so bad im going to bite him not just his neck I need to bite his thighs and arms but I will bite his neck and give him my mark and I will.breed him
military wife alpha era
#dont unfollow me#im on drugs and my kpop boys are going to war#also. no never mind no I think its mostly the drugs. affecting me#i was going to say something else but#its the drugs#like yeah I coming down with something most certainly (everyone in my household is sick and my throat is sore) and im getting like six hour#of daylight#but none of those things are anything compared to the drugs in my system my bloodstream#I think I would rather live my life without this#even if I am too inactive#too ineffective#too slow and useless and unproductive#than this speeded thing#im gonna rawdog life and#it will stop the euphoria I have rn also#but I think its better anyway#because . idk why#just . this is weird#it feels like im constantly falling off something#like im flying but im going down#and im not crashing its just the sensation of falling down#and its like . cool. I guess#like being drunk#sorta#but#its not#me#i dont think my brain is wrong...#I would rather it be wrong in its natural state than wrong like this#im not able to focus now anyway. not on reading or anything liek that
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
can i ask why ur getting the surgery? /gen curious /no hate
i am getting a bi(lateral)salp(ingectomy) bc i never want to be pregnant or be a parent!
Even if i do change my mind later about the parent thing (not super likely but things can change, sure) theres noooo shortage of single parents lmao
And even if I never End Up In The Circumstance(s) Where I COULD Become Pregnant in my life, I'd want the peace of mind anyway...
I've always felt disgusted that this is something my body is capable of. I want it to be MY body and not a site and vessel for potential tragedy in any direction. And I want it to be something permanent and not dependent on access to services/medicines or even laws!!! Dis is a gender affirming surgery for me honestly...
#anonymous#skunk mail#in the past ive always thot about how id obvs immediately get an abortion if anything happened#but along with living in texas idk#like. id obvs get it but just the thought of ever being pregnant in my life for even a little bit makes me feel sick.#idk what id do. what a betrayal by the shell im in that would be.#my mind wld be frayed forever. ive had nightmares abt it. i dont think i cld ever Enjoy Anything if i was always worried about BC failure.#pregnancy is so unnerving to me i dont even like seeing or being around pregnant animals especially when ppl start calling them Mommy or#Mama it just makes me extremely uncomfortable.#my life was destined to be tragedy as soon as I was born in this body‚ i might as well do one of the only things I can do to ease the horro#of it#ive literally had my day ruined by just remembering its something my body can do. it makes me so miserable#it feels so disgusting etc#without the surgery my life would continue to feel like its counting down to inevitable tragedy#whether it be by Scare or Assault#and why wld i continue to live my life like that if its always going to be unwanted!!!!! need permanent solution and not just a bandaid#its not like the opportunities come up often but honestly ive even been avoiding sex bc of this. id rather just not ever do it at all#than risk anything
92 notes
·
View notes
Text
well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.
also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever
(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )
#so. i get why people are against children transitioning i really do. and i have my own nuanced complicated feelings about it#but honestly. im beginning to believe id be more well-adjusted by now even if just a bit if i had started larping as male by 15.#would it fix all of my problems? no. but it would make a lot of things in my life much smoother and easier.#but i was sooo deep into raddie/gc shit that i had this fucking. complex about not wanting to troon because its ~cheating~#and 'omg all the butches are leaving!!1 butch flight i cant be one of them!!!1'#'i MUST be a good example for all the young girls!!!1' a weird sort of almost martyr-like complex if you will.#but as i get older im like... honestly man fuuuuccckkkkk this.#barely anybody expects straight or even bi women to abstain from dating men forever For the Good of Womankind#its not seen as Expected but rather Exceptional and Wow Amazing if you do.#and anyone who Expects it is seen as a ~crazy extremist~#meanwhile lesbians and especially HSTS are almost fucking Expected to sacrifice themselves for the ~greater good~#and ngl other lesbiams perpetuate this shit too.#oh you CANT transition even if you feel it'll make your life easier because because because#[arguments that would really only apply to OSA females transitioning]#[strawman] [misinterpreted stats] [unverified reddit posts]#and if all else fails 'think of how the very act of doing so will HURT ALL OF WOMANKIND'#no fucking wonder dysphoric lesbians develop an fucking insane martyr complex and start to treat hrt/transitioning like its fucking crack#'ill give into the temptation if i see a happy trans person ohh nooo so nobody should be allowed to troon'#like thats not fucking normal! you realize thats NOT FUCKING NORMAL right?#youre acting like a deranged christian who is so afraid of sinning by wrongthink#and disclaimer no. i dont inherently hate being female or a lesbian but with the way i am physically and mentally#i would have/have had a Much easier time integrating into society as a ~man~. just because of how i am physically and mentally.#now i wont say internalized homophobia/etc. NEVER has anything to do with transition or etc. but im gonna be real#for HSTS (which are extremely rare in the first place) thats often only a very small part of it at most.#its often more about making our lives easier and integrating better without having to completely remold our entire personalities.#thats the reality.#would we not transition if society have patriarchy/gender roles/sexism? perhaps. i wont deny that possibility.#the fact of the matter is however#that it wont be happening any time soon. so we just want our lives to be easier.#'oh but youre lying to yourself' not necessarily. i dont have a ~gender identity~ and im well aware of myself and my situation.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think the potential hilarity of Durge/Karlach is not capitalized on enough, cause imagine being Gortash, the subordinate you sold to the devil ten years ago is back foiling your methodically laid out plans and out to kill you in vengeance for what you did, and then just to add insult to injury she stole your murder-girlfriend as well. L’s up on L’s for this man.
#bg3#it’s in my brain because I’m doing my Durge run and romancing Karlach as well so#I sure look forward to Karlach being hit with the information that her GF fucked her former shitty boss#(will be news to Sirris as well but ah)#there are certain things that is very nice because I’m playing a repentant Durge so Karlach being so unrepentantly good is influencing her#and having godly entities controlling the course of the their lives and taking away their bodily autonomy#forging them into weapons who can never be close to anyone ever#(Karlach by literally not being able to touch anyone and Sirris (my Durge) being pushed to kill anyone she’s ever had fond feelings for)#it’s something they got in common and while no recalling her life some part of Sirris heard oh I can’t be with people from Karlach#and whent “man I don’t know why but same hat#I have many feelings about them#and then old Gortash is in the sauce as being a guy they both at one point we’re close to and trusted but also he’s the representation of#like a dark time in their lives and I think killing him wont be as satisfying to them as either of em hope#killing him wont make it so Karlach won’t die and it won’t undo all the hurt Sirris has brought on the world#also in the bad end when Karlach dies I think Sirris would legit just off herself rather then live on and potentially becoming#as much of a monster as she used to be and she believes she won’t be able to be as good without Karlach at her side#anyway I will stop rambling now
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Takeomi is Sanzu&Senju's half-brother" headcanon, sure
But is the Akashi grandmother biologically related to him or not... Hm....
#i can see it go both way#still ends up shitty bc the akashi household is without a doubt abusive#but the way it could be#HM......#mindless rambling incoming#non-blood related could go 'youre not related to me - youre basically a stranger i allow to live in my house (also take care of#my grandkids/my son's kids for me)'#blood related could go 'youre the reason your mother/my daughter left'#argh argh argh#blood related add more depth/complexity (story-wise) methinks#bc its really the 'youre just like your father (derogative)' speech BUT#with non-blood related they dont actually know takeomis bio father - just that he looks insanely like him#but with blood related the anger is HERE#non blood related is mostly just disdain#like 'we're keeping you bc your mom left and we loved her. thats in memory of her. (also: raise your siblings)'#blood related also has that but theres also the full denial of seeing him as his moms son? hes just his dads kid#non blood related is 'you bear our family name bc you mom and stepfather got married. we're legally forced to provide for you'#blood related also has that -- but the grandmother would know him from before that#not a lot bc ive got other hcs to stick to but. but.#the common point between the two is 'akashi grandma loves her grandkids (sanzu&senju) but has utter disdain toward takeomi'#(not enough to be the one in charge of raising them tho *coughcough*)(altho i do think she died when sanzu&senju were tweens)#so like. choosing 'isolation by being allowed to stay for legal reasons(+sanzu&senju)' or 'isolation despite being blood related (and also:#the moral obligation of taking care of blood descendant; even if you want them out)#plus plus takeomi looking like his father while sanzu&senju look exactly like their mom - subconsciously or not grandmother rather look aft#the ones that look like her daughter than the one that looks like the man that (supposedly) ruined her daughters life#Akashi headcanon day ig#arghhhhhhhh#and then theres the fact his stepfather is more accepted/welcomed in the family than he is
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Edit: more thought out ideas in reblogs!
something i think i dont necessarily agree with in mdzs discussionnis the idea that 'jiang cheng sacrificed his golden core for wei wuxian' which, while technically true, kinda wasnt jiang chengs intention.
jiang cheng intended to die.
like, think about it. he had just lost his family and clan, he was basically incapable of taking care of himself due to grief and anger, and wwx had to find them food and keep them moving, and wwx had the legitimate fear that jc would go back to lotus pier. jiang cheng ran out, yes with the intention to save wwx, but also knowing he was trying to die. he didnt trade his golden core for wwx, he tried to trade his life and ended up losing the golden core which is more unbearable to him than death.
thats why hes so shocked and upset about wei wuxian giving him his golden core. because giving someone your life is one thing, but purposefully choosing to live without a golden core is unthinkable to him. imo, jc doesnt tell wwx about saving him for two reasons at two times. the first, directly post war, because jc sees his sacrifice as more than he intended to give and therefore too much to bring up especially since wwx seemingly gave jc a wish to get it back making them even, and then after the golden core reveal, he sees his intended sacrifice as too little, something not worth mentioning in the scale of exchange. he intended to give his life, unintentionally lost something more valuable, then instead was intentionally and knowingly given something he was unwilling to live without.
#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#tho hes not my favorite i do really like thinking about jiang chengs character#this is all my opinion and speculation which is really all anyone can ever speak on#i fully dont believe he would habe run out if he thought the wens would keep him alive without his core#he seems the type who would take an honorable death over a dishonorable life#he would rather be martyrd than left behind to live on which is why theres a level of personal tragedy to him being the sole survivor
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Apparently, today's brainrot of choice is a Golden Girls Sound of Music AU where Rose is Maria, Dorothy's the Captain, and Blanche is the Baroness, only that one scene where the Baroness visits Maria in her bedroom ends very differently & they end up in a polycule
#i'm afraid i'm sending this one into the void but i was singing edelweiss on my way to the supermarket when this thought popped up#and it has *not* let go of me since#i'm sorry but this just seems perfect for them when you consider it!!#rose seems like she would 100% be the type to be mesmerized by nuns (and their singing)#only to find out after joining the convent that she absolutely is Not the right type to be a nun#(she would absolutely be found singing and humming everywhere. her tendency to hum is a canon fact!! and she's great with children!!)#dorothy would be a widow rather than a divorcee in this case & i guess stan was still a yutz (but with money this time)#it's been 2 years or so since he died and she's been absolutely torn with guilt over how *free* she feels without him#(she thinks she ought to feel sad like any good widow but she doesn't. just like she felt she should've loved him during their marriage#but she also couldn't of course.#so i'm guessing she has this sense of ''if i wasn't able to love you the way i should have when you lived#then at least i should grieve you as i ought to now that you're dead.''? so she spends her time being... well. we've all seen the captain#because she doesn't feel like she's *allowed* to experience joy anymore#which is when Rose shows up and slowly brings love and life and music back into the household!!)#Blanche as the baroness feels pretty self explanatory to me#but i think for additional conflict she's a widow who was very happily married#(everyone thinks she married for money & rank but it really was love. SO MUCH of it)#and the very first person Blanche falls for again is Dorothy. so of course she sees Rose as a threat the first time they meet#but when she sees how much Rose genuinely loves Dorothy (and how *good* Rose is for her!!) Blanche slowly falls in love with her too#i have SO MANY thoughts about this au lol i'm kind of starting to wish i had the motivation to write it :')#the golden girls#golden wives#rose nylund#dorothy zbornak#blanche devereaux
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
wowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowow
#im so glad i learned i had autism#bc...... other ppl control so much of our existence#thinking im a bad person my whole life when in actuality#i was always rejected for my sense of justice#and only accepted if i mirrored triggering behaviors#if i was doing what everyone else was doing it was fine#but if i spoke on my sense of justice i would get rejected#so id try to mirror and it always felt bad#like really bad#i was telling my mom yesterday that#her my dad brother and sister have all done things that#would keep me up at night sick with guilt for the rest of my life#and how i cant fathom how they can live their day to day lives without being burdened with extreme guilt#and she said she just doesnt think about that stuff#i feel guilty for a girl i was mean to once in 2nd grade still to this day#i know every instance in which i hurt someones feelings without a reason and i feel guilt about all of it still#it hurts me so much that id rather fight with ppl who think that behavior is okay#rather than mirror it#but i would mirror stuff sometimes bc it's like “will this make me normal?” and the answer was no#it just made me copy behaviors of bad people who dont have remorse#and that had huge negative effects on me#im glad to know that im not an evil person
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mmm Jeanne
#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore#jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write#we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote#was actually Her own book#jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life#marie reads to jeanne is my image#jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence#if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself#unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal#she can sign her own name ofc thats historical#she can recite the bible from memory iirc#i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream#like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO#anyway. now jeanne again but physical#oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life#i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different#but i just gotta confirm#but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that#when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair#sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part#and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like#but it still upsets her#not that she'd ever complain to people#you can probably get it out of her tho#unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year#war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh#my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc#actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have literally nowhere else to put this i apologise for the spam. the absolute best thing to come out of s3 trent is without a doubt the fucking earnestness... like in s1-2 he always came across as a very self-assured kind of guy, who knew how he came off (ie: intimidating) and enjoyed it. but seeing that paired with him being silly + completely relaxing in certain company??? pulling ridiculous faces at vodka + scrunching up his nose when he smiles @ colin + making the most ABSURD 'i really wanna say something right now but i feel like im interrupting' noises ive ever heard in my fucking LIFE??? its like. he is cool as shit and he is self assured AND he can make dumb fucking sherlock holmes jokes and dance ridiculously. its like!!!! he's lame but he's also not bc he's exactly as confident in being lame as he is being cool. do u see the vision. he has killed the part of him that cringes!!!! its just.. that unshakeable self confidence that u see in his fucking swaggers into frame includes all of himself + his different moods and eccentricities and that's just so based to me idk. unironically live ur best life wear the loudest combination of prints and patterns and primary colours uve ever seen in ur life while espousing the virtues of extended museum hours!!! contain multitudes! get silly with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#ted lasso spoilers#combined with james lance's hc abt trent's past its just. like!!#the growth from 'i can't be what you want me to be so im going to be Better than them + tear them down'#-> 'i know my reputation so im going to lean into that + be ruthless + intimidating' ->#'actually fuck this? fuck this! im just gonna be me and if anyone has a problem w then L To Them I'm Actually Living'#also this is just my hcs at this point but like. i do think ted helped a lot w the latter part of this process in so much as. ted embodied#someone who was Visibly weak + vulnerable and had no armour/no sense of self preservation#(the opposite of trent's persona) and made no effort to change anything abt himself to prevent attack. obviously ted has a lot of social +#class advantages that make that less risky for him than it would be for others but like. u get the drift#and i THINK. seeing how without that armour/facade ted was able to be rlly direct + earnest w connecting w ppl#like asking an interviewer 'what do u love?' and rlly genuinely wanting to know the answer#and bc TRENT was specifically in the position of 'i could fucking destroy u rn and u wouldn't put up a fight'#that kind of. shifted his perspective a bit? like. damn what would that say abt me if i wrote a hit piece on this guy rn#i disagree VERY strongly w the idea that trent's more positive character development moments happened ONLY bc of ted (i don't think that's#true for anyone in the show tbh) BUT i think ted's presence at a pivotal point in his life was what helped him confront the fact that#at this stage in his life all his intellectual armour was doing was making him into someone Mean rather than just incisive#like. 'is this a fucking joke' is not cutting journalism. u get me??#and arguably that's a fine and even safe choice to make when ur younger and have no support/reputation backing u up#but after decades? its like man wtf are we doign here if were literally just living preventatively#smth smth i hope i am not just a tumblr blog to u but a blog who is inventing the brain chemistry of a sitcom side character#w each new episode they watch. trent crimm is my best friend irl i know he would have scorching hot takes abt each new season of survivor#and would earnestly heckle the jury and final 3 alike
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
god the duality between 'I don't want someone in my house' and 'yeah I'd like my own kids and no way I'm doing that alone'
#like ppl who don't want kids should be free to live their lives without ppl being like 'watch out! your biological clock is ticking!'#that's bullshit ppl shouldn't say that. but also. i would like kids and#after so many years trying not to get pregnant and that seeming like a worst case scenario. so desperately wanting to not become my parents#now i am an age where I'd happily have a kid if i were in the right life situation & i don't feel I've got all the time in the world anymore#lol like. the space in between 'too young to have a baby' and 'old enough that i risk more health issues/ will be an older parent'#feels way way narrower than i ever would have assumed lol. esp. because all the parents in my family are so young. the idea of being an#older parent is so strange to me. I'm so aware of the things you can't do when you're older and how it's harder work to run after them#and like my body is already wearing out way faster than anyone elses. my health's only gonna get worse so.#being an older parent just doesn't seem an option. not to mention like. the older i am the less generations I'll get to see.#i want to be a great grandmother damnit. lol.#like I'm on a clock. to get over my commitment issues or it legit won't happen. but yeah. can't think of anything worse than having#to have someone in my house. if i was rich enough to have lots of space that's one thing but. I'm not lol.#and rich ppl rub me up the wrong way whenever they try and chat me up so doubt I'm gonna marry in to money looool#like i have come to terms with the fact that. if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. id rather not get to be a mother than to settle#like that whole 'looking for a partner' dating life is not for me i can't think of anything worse. if it happens it happens#I'll either meet the right person who im willing to give up an empty house for or i won't looool#and it's not like im giving up the whole raising kids thing completely.#like I've got to play a significant hand in raising my siblings even if i didn't ask for that. I've got to see them grow and#help them reach those milestones. and whatever the circumstances I'm blessed to have had them in my life#even if i don't have my own kids I'm always gonna have kids in my life even if I'm an aunt rather than grandmother you know#I'm lucky to be in a family where raising kids is a communal thing. but yeah id love to have my own kids & have someone that looks like me#but I'm not willing to bring someone in to the world in non opportune circumstances deliberately.#like if it's up to me i want them to have 2 parents to look out for them and 2 parents that at least stand a chance of liking each other lol
2 notes
·
View notes