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#I think I would rather live my life without this
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If Bruce and Batmom Divorced ~Bruce Wayne Imagine~
Summary: The final straw was Bruce officially cheating on you.
Author’s Note: I saw a TikTok about a comic of Catwoman having Bruce’s daughter and I thought of the angst between Batmom and Bruce.
This is not canon to the Batmom Universe
Reader’s Pronouns: She/Her
Warnings: Mentions of divorce, angst, cheating
Do not repost this anywhere!
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You were a smart person after living with Bruce Wayne who is also Batman. You learned his tricks and gadgets while being his wife. So when you left without word the day after finding out Selina was pregnant with Bruce’s child, everyone grew into a panic.
“It’s like she just disappeared,” Tim said in disbelief.
“Now I know how she felt when I left the mansion,” Dick says.
“Where could she have gone?” Jason asked.
“Alfred, are you sure she didn’t say anything to you before she left?” Cassandra asked him with a sad and desperate look.
“If you think, she would disappear without telling me, you’re wrong. I do know where she is however, she asked me not to say anything. She only gave it to me for emergencies.”
“Then tell us, Alfred! We won’t tell Bruce,” Stephanie begged.
“I’m afraid I cannot do such thing. Not until she calls me and tells me that she is ready.”
Selina had showed up to your doorstep one afternoon and told you the news of her being pregnant with Bruce's child. You spend the first hour in shock before gathering your stuff that you had packed and left without saying goodbye.
It broke everyone when you left. Even Bruce.
Bruce would rather kill Joker and all the villains if it meant keeping you with him. He would murder every single person with bad in them if it meant he could have you with him. But what he did that finally broke you would never change your mind.
Then came the day when you finally showed up. But with a surprise.
"Mom?" Dick asked in shock.
"Hi honey," you smiled softly. Dick engulfed you into a quick hug before looking at you.
"Are you okay? How are you?" Dick asked.
"I'm okay. I'm doing well," you tell him. "Is Bruce home?"
"Yeah. He's home."
"I need to talk to him," you tell him.
"Yeah. Okay."
You followed Dick inside the manor and found Bruce sitting at the dining room table with Alfred and Damien.
"Ummi!" Damien said the moment he saw you.
He rushed over and hugged you tightly before realizing your condition.
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"It's okay sweetie."
"It's good to see you Ms. Y/n," Alfred said, giving you a hug as well.
"I need to talk to Bruce really quickly. Alone," you tell everyone.
Everyone rushed out of the room so you two could be alone.
"Y/n-"
"I don't want to hear you talk Bruce. I am here to have you sign these," you say as you took out the divorce papers from your purse; "And I am here to let the kids know that I am okay."
"Y/n, can we talk about this? Is the baby mine?" Bruce asked referring to your pregnant bump.
"It's yours. But I don't need you for them. I am going to raise this child alone and we do not need you. You are having a child with Selina so if you want to be a father, go be that child's father because you have no right to be in my life anymore," you tell him.
"I put up with so much with you. And I am done. I am exhausted and being away from you for the past four months made me feel so free and relaxed. I have a good home now and it's in a good city and good neighborhood. I just want you to sign these papers, and let me go."
"I don't want to let you go. I don't want to lose you," Bruce said, looking up at you with tears in his eyes.
"Bruce. You lost me when you went to Selina after you told me you wouldn't go back to her," you tell him, tearing up as well.
"At least let me give you alimony so you don't have to work anymore. If I am going to lose you, at least let me do something good for you one last time," Bruce begged.
"Fine. But I don't want contact with you. I'll talk to the kids gladly and they are more than welcome to visit me or live with me but I am done with you Bruce. Until our child asks about you and wants to see you, then I will tell them about you and that they can visit you with the other kids as supervision. But for now, I don't want anything to do with you," you tell him.
"Y/n-"
"You can mail the paperwork to my lawyer," you tell Bruce before walking out. You found Damien and Dick standing by the door after you opened it. You gave them a hug and a kiss on the cheek before walking out. You looked over at Alfred and gave him a small nod.
Alfred walked over to the two boys and handed Dick a piece of paper.
"If you kids want to visit her," Alfred tells them before walking off.
Damien rushed out after you. He wrapped his arms around you, stopping your tracks.
“Don’t leave me Ummi. Please.”
“I’m sorry Damien. Alfred gave my address to you kids so if you want to visit me, you can. But I need to go right now,” you tell your son. Damien nodded before letting you go. You kissed his head once more before getting into your car and driving off.
----
Bruce never interacted with you again after that day. He knew where you lived due to following the kids over to visit you. But he never went down to talk to you. He knew that you were stubborn and that you were holding your ground on not wanting to see him again. He just wished that he could take everything back to have you back in his arms.
The years went on and the kids began to grow up and move out of the house. That was until he got a knock on the door one day.
A girl who looked too much like you stood in front of him as she stared up at him. She couldn’t be older than ten.
"Are you Bruce Wayne?" She asked him.
"Yes I am."
"Hi! I'm Ella. I'm your daughter," she introduced.
"Ella," Bruce sighed in awe. He kneeled down to her height so he can look at her better. "Where's your mother?"
"She doesn't know I'm here. Which reminds me. I need to call her to tell her that I'm okay and that I'm sorry for running away to find you," Ella tells him.
"She will definitely have a heart attack. Come on," Bruce said, holding her hand.
He watched as Ella talked on the phone with you before she looked up at him.
"Mama wants to talk to you," she said, handing the phone over to him.
"Hi, Y/n."
"Is she okay? Is my baby okay?" You asked.
"She's okay. I got her."
"I don't know how on Earth she managed to get to you! I know I said I never wanted to see you again but please bring her back home. We can talk about her seeing you every weekend or something," you tell Bruce.
"Of course."
"I know you know where I live. Just come over with her please. Now," you say.
"I will."
Bruce took Ella back home where you waited for them.
"You young lady are grounded!" You sternly tell your daughter.
"But mom-"
"No buts. Go to your room!" You ordered her. Ella hugged her father before running to her room.
"Y/n-"
"Thank you for bringing her home safely. I can drop her off every weekend if you're not busy for her to see you," you tell Bruce.
"If you think that's best for her."
"She’s been asking to meet you,” you tell him. Bruce stayed silent for a moment.
“How are you?”
“Fine. How are you and Selina? Have you two been raising your child together nicely?” You asked him.
“We aren’t together. She put the child up for adoption,” Bruce explains.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“And I’m sorry for everything. Are you happy?” Bruce asked you.
“I’ve been better.”
“You know, I never stopped thinking about you.”
You stared at him for a moment.
“I’ll drop her off next weekend after she’s grounded. You can have her for the weekend as well as Father’s Day. I’ll have my lawyer draft up a new custody agreement,” you tell Bruce.
“You could always come with her,” Bruce said.
“No. Like I said years ago Bruce. I’m done with you. I can forgive you. But you also proved to me that you will never love me as much as I loved you,” you tell him.
“I’m sorry Y/n. For everything,” Bruce said before walking out of your home.
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lailawinchesterr · 1 day
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—✧ you’re jensen ackles’ non-famous girlfriend
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liked by jensenackles and others
yourusername I think we got drunk
view comments…
urbsfusername think?
yourusername you live and you learn
unifriend what the actual fuck you met jensen ackles?
uniclassmate bro jensen fucking ackles just liked your post
yourusername has privated her account !
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liked by hilarieburton and others
yourusername thank you for a great night, hilarie (I tried getting jen to stay in the white but i could only do so much)
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jensenackles not my color
randomacc every color is your color
unifriend i can’t believe you know jensen ackles bro how did you even meet??
urbsfusername all white party? wowow
yourusername taking you instead next time, you probably won’t change into a flannel by the end of the night @/jensenackles
jensenackles it wasn’t a flannel🙄
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liked by jaredpadalecki and others
yourusername beach day with my fav people + @/urbsfusername
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jensenackles where did all of of these come from… had the best time honey❤️
yourusername we can thank her for that, she’s been taking pics of us the entire trip, but I’d say you did pretty well with the pic of me and her
urbsfusername best trip ever
yourusername tell me about it
randomacc what the fuck is happening!!! where are the gossip sites and why are they not giving us answers
unifriend you guys are so cute
yourusername thanks babe💋
otherbsf this is why you ditched this weekend🙄
yourusername would’ve asked you to come but you wouldn’t miss that party for a funeral
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liked by yourusername and others
jensenackles a sample of our beach day with @/jaredpadalecki and @/genpadalecki ❤️
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randomuser absolutely no fucking way jensen is seeing someone
jacklesfan we just lost our most prized possession what the hell
urbsfusername y’all are the sweetest!
—liked by jensenackles
jaredpadalecki best way to end season 12, glad to see you happy, brother
—liked by jensenackles
randomacc no cause wtf does ‘happy’ mean?? who is he dating bro
realjacklesfan jared’s married with kids, about time jensen got the happy ending he deserves.
usertwo we don’t know if they’re even that serious.
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jensenackles happy birthday to the most creative and fun person out there @/yourusername, i don’t know what my life would be like without you but i’m glad we get to spend what’s rest of it together, love you❤️
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randomacc bitch why did she actually turn out pretty ugh
yourusername no other way i’d rather spend my birthday, love you so much!
—liked by jensenackles
jaredpadalecki happy birthday @/yourusername, no one deserves a good day more than you
yourusername thanks jay, miss you guys a lot
jacklesfan we get to see her!!!! aaaaa! she’s so cute, you guys are so great together
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genuinely the most fun thing over ever done, let me know if u like it cause jared padalecki, you’re next! & if u wanna be tagged.
the usernames:
uni friend
uni classmate
jackles fan
real jackles fan
random account
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echoesofadream · 10 months
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taecho a/b/o au where I am an alpha taehyung is omega and he is making me go like this
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with his perfect perfect perfect lean toned long fleshy smooth silky soft perfect perfect body he probably smells like earth and ocean and honey and musk and strawberry and caramel and vanilla and my alpha needs to claim him so bad im going to bite him not just his neck I need to bite his thighs and arms but I will bite his neck and give him my mark and I will.breed him
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military wife alpha era
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skunkes · 2 months
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can i ask why ur getting the surgery? /gen curious /no hate
i am getting a bi(lateral)salp(ingectomy) bc i never want to be pregnant or be a parent!
Even if i do change my mind later about the parent thing (not super likely but things can change, sure) theres noooo shortage of single parents lmao
And even if I never End Up In The Circumstance(s) Where I COULD Become Pregnant in my life, I'd want the peace of mind anyway...
I've always felt disgusted that this is something my body is capable of. I want it to be MY body and not a site and vessel for potential tragedy in any direction. And I want it to be something permanent and not dependent on access to services/medicines or even laws!!! Dis is a gender affirming surgery for me honestly...
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adhderall · 13 days
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well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.
also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever
(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )
#so. i get why people are against children transitioning i really do. and i have my own nuanced complicated feelings about it#but honestly. im beginning to believe id be more well-adjusted by now even if just a bit if i had started larping as male by 15.#would it fix all of my problems? no. but it would make a lot of things in my life much smoother and easier.#but i was sooo deep into raddie/gc shit that i had this fucking. complex about not wanting to troon because its ~cheating~#and 'omg all the butches are leaving!!1 butch flight i cant be one of them!!!1'#'i MUST be a good example for all the young girls!!!1' a weird sort of almost martyr-like complex if you will.#but as i get older im like... honestly man fuuuuccckkkkk this.#barely anybody expects straight or even bi women to abstain from dating men forever For the Good of Womankind#its not seen as Expected but rather Exceptional and Wow Amazing if you do.#and anyone who Expects it is seen as a ~crazy extremist~#meanwhile lesbians and especially HSTS are almost fucking Expected to sacrifice themselves for the ~greater good~#and ngl other lesbiams perpetuate this shit too.#oh you CANT transition even if you feel it'll make your life easier because because because#[arguments that would really only apply to OSA females transitioning]#[strawman] [misinterpreted stats] [unverified reddit posts]#and if all else fails 'think of how the very act of doing so will HURT ALL OF WOMANKIND'#no fucking wonder dysphoric lesbians develop an fucking insane martyr complex and start to treat hrt/transitioning like its fucking crack#'ill give into the temptation if i see a happy trans person ohh nooo so nobody should be allowed to troon'#like thats not fucking normal! you realize thats NOT FUCKING NORMAL right?#youre acting like a deranged christian who is so afraid of sinning by wrongthink#and disclaimer no. i dont inherently hate being female or a lesbian but with the way i am physically and mentally#i would have/have had a Much easier time integrating into society as a ~man~. just because of how i am physically and mentally.#now i wont say internalized homophobia/etc. NEVER has anything to do with transition or etc. but im gonna be real#for HSTS (which are extremely rare in the first place) thats often only a very small part of it at most.#its often more about making our lives easier and integrating better without having to completely remold our entire personalities.#thats the reality.#would we not transition if society have patriarchy/gender roles/sexism? perhaps. i wont deny that possibility.#the fact of the matter is however#that it wont be happening any time soon. so we just want our lives to be easier.#'oh but youre lying to yourself' not necessarily. i dont have a ~gender identity~ and im well aware of myself and my situation.
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girlmadeofclockwork · 10 months
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I think the potential hilarity of Durge/Karlach is not capitalized on enough, cause imagine being Gortash, the subordinate you sold to the devil ten years ago is back foiling your methodically laid out plans and out to kill you in vengeance for what you did, and then just to add insult to injury she stole your murder-girlfriend as well. L’s up on L’s for this man.
#bg3#it’s in my brain because I’m doing my Durge run and romancing Karlach as well so#I sure look forward to Karlach being hit with the information that her GF fucked her former shitty boss#(will be news to Sirris as well but ah)#there are certain things that is very nice because I’m playing a repentant Durge so Karlach being so unrepentantly good is influencing her#and having godly entities controlling the course of the their lives and taking away their bodily autonomy#forging them into weapons who can never be close to anyone ever#(Karlach by literally not being able to touch anyone and Sirris (my Durge) being pushed to kill anyone she’s ever had fond feelings for)#it’s something they got in common and while no recalling her life some part of Sirris heard oh I can’t be with people from Karlach#and whent “man I don’t know why but same hat#I have many feelings about them#and then old Gortash is in the sauce as being a guy they both at one point we’re close to and trusted but also he’s the representation of#like a dark time in their lives and I think killing him wont be as satisfying to them as either of em hope#killing him wont make it so Karlach won’t die and it won’t undo all the hurt Sirris has brought on the world#also in the bad end when Karlach dies I think Sirris would legit just off herself rather then live on and potentially becoming#as much of a monster as she used to be and she believes she won’t be able to be as good without Karlach at her side#anyway I will stop rambling now
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something2believe · 9 months
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i'm literally fucked in terms of treatment options. tw for depressing vent in the tags i guess
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"Takeomi is Sanzu&Senju's half-brother" headcanon, sure
But is the Akashi grandmother biologically related to him or not... Hm....
#i can see it go both way#still ends up shitty bc the akashi household is without a doubt abusive#but the way it could be#HM......#mindless rambling incoming#non-blood related could go 'youre not related to me - youre basically a stranger i allow to live in my house (also take care of#my grandkids/my son's kids for me)'#blood related could go 'youre the reason your mother/my daughter left'#argh argh argh#blood related add more depth/complexity (story-wise) methinks#bc its really the 'youre just like your father (derogative)' speech BUT#with non-blood related they dont actually know takeomis bio father - just that he looks insanely like him#but with blood related the anger is HERE#non blood related is mostly just disdain#like 'we're keeping you bc your mom left and we loved her. thats in memory of her. (also: raise your siblings)'#blood related also has that but theres also the full denial of seeing him as his moms son? hes just his dads kid#non blood related is 'you bear our family name bc you mom and stepfather got married. we're legally forced to provide for you'#blood related also has that -- but the grandmother would know him from before that#not a lot bc ive got other hcs to stick to but. but.#the common point between the two is 'akashi grandma loves her grandkids (sanzu&senju) but has utter disdain toward takeomi'#(not enough to be the one in charge of raising them tho *coughcough*)(altho i do think she died when sanzu&senju were tweens)#so like. choosing 'isolation by being allowed to stay for legal reasons(+sanzu&senju)' or 'isolation despite being blood related (and also:#the moral obligation of taking care of blood descendant; even if you want them out)#plus plus takeomi looking like his father while sanzu&senju look exactly like their mom - subconsciously or not grandmother rather look aft#the ones that look like her daughter than the one that looks like the man that (supposedly) ruined her daughters life#Akashi headcanon day ig#arghhhhhhhh#and then theres the fact his stepfather is more accepted/welcomed in the family than he is
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dvasva · 2 years
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Edit: more thought out ideas in reblogs!
something i think i dont necessarily agree with in mdzs discussionnis the idea that 'jiang cheng sacrificed his golden core for wei wuxian' which, while technically true, kinda wasnt jiang chengs intention.
jiang cheng intended to die.
like, think about it. he had just lost his family and clan, he was basically incapable of taking care of himself due to grief and anger, and wwx had to find them food and keep them moving, and wwx had the legitimate fear that jc would go back to lotus pier. jiang cheng ran out, yes with the intention to save wwx, but also knowing he was trying to die. he didnt trade his golden core for wwx, he tried to trade his life and ended up losing the golden core which is more unbearable to him than death.
thats why hes so shocked and upset about wei wuxian giving him his golden core. because giving someone your life is one thing, but purposefully choosing to live without a golden core is unthinkable to him. imo, jc doesnt tell wwx about saving him for two reasons at two times. the first, directly post war, because jc sees his sacrifice as more than he intended to give and therefore too much to bring up especially since wwx seemingly gave jc a wish to get it back making them even, and then after the golden core reveal, he sees his intended sacrifice as too little, something not worth mentioning in the scale of exchange. he intended to give his life, unintentionally lost something more valuable, then instead was intentionally and knowingly given something he was unwilling to live without.
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hecatesbroom · 4 months
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Apparently, today's brainrot of choice is a Golden Girls Sound of Music AU where Rose is Maria, Dorothy's the Captain, and Blanche is the Baroness, only that one scene where the Baroness visits Maria in her bedroom ends very differently & they end up in a polycule
#i'm afraid i'm sending this one into the void but i was singing edelweiss on my way to the supermarket when this thought popped up#and it has *not* let go of me since#i'm sorry but this just seems perfect for them when you consider it!!#rose seems like she would 100% be the type to be mesmerized by nuns (and their singing)#only to find out after joining the convent that she absolutely is Not the right type to be a nun#(she would absolutely be found singing and humming everywhere. her tendency to hum is a canon fact!! and she's great with children!!)#dorothy would be a widow rather than a divorcee in this case & i guess stan was still a yutz (but with money this time)#it's been 2 years or so since he died and she's been absolutely torn with guilt over how *free* she feels without him#(she thinks she ought to feel sad like any good widow but she doesn't. just like she felt she should've loved him during their marriage#but she also couldn't of course.#so i'm guessing she has this sense of ''if i wasn't able to love you the way i should have when you lived#then at least i should grieve you as i ought to now that you're dead.''? so she spends her time being... well. we've all seen the captain#because she doesn't feel like she's *allowed* to experience joy anymore#which is when Rose shows up and slowly brings love and life and music back into the household!!)#Blanche as the baroness feels pretty self explanatory to me#but i think for additional conflict she's a widow who was very happily married#(everyone thinks she married for money & rank but it really was love. SO MUCH of it)#and the very first person Blanche falls for again is Dorothy. so of course she sees Rose as a threat the first time they meet#but when she sees how much Rose genuinely loves Dorothy (and how *good* Rose is for her!!) Blanche slowly falls in love with her too#i have SO MANY thoughts about this au lol i'm kind of starting to wish i had the motivation to write it :')#the golden girls#golden wives#rose nylund#dorothy zbornak#blanche devereaux
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nururu · 7 months
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wowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowow
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cestacruz · 6 months
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Mmm Jeanne
#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore#jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write#we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote#was actually Her own book#jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life#marie reads to jeanne is my image#jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence#if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself#unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal#she can sign her own name ofc thats historical#she can recite the bible from memory iirc#i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream#like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO#anyway. now jeanne again but physical#oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life#i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different#but i just gotta confirm#but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that#when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair#sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part#and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like#but it still upsets her#not that she'd ever complain to people#you can probably get it out of her tho#unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year#war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh#my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc#actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...
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time-is-restored · 1 year
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i have literally nowhere else to put this i apologise for the spam. the absolute best thing to come out of s3 trent is without a doubt the fucking earnestness... like in s1-2 he always came across as a very self-assured kind of guy, who knew how he came off (ie: intimidating) and enjoyed it. but seeing that paired with him being silly + completely relaxing in certain company??? pulling ridiculous faces at vodka + scrunching up his nose when he smiles @ colin + making the most ABSURD 'i really wanna say something right now but i feel like im interrupting' noises ive ever heard in my fucking LIFE??? its like. he is cool as shit and he is self assured AND he can make dumb fucking sherlock holmes jokes and dance ridiculously. its like!!!! he's lame but he's also not bc he's exactly as confident in being lame as he is being cool. do u see the vision. he has killed the part of him that cringes!!!! its just.. that unshakeable self confidence that u see in his fucking swaggers into frame includes all of himself + his different moods and eccentricities and that's just so based to me idk. unironically live ur best life wear the loudest combination of prints and patterns and primary colours uve ever seen in ur life while espousing the virtues of extended museum hours!!! contain multitudes! get silly with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#ted lasso spoilers#combined with james lance's hc abt trent's past its just. like!!#the growth from 'i can't be what you want me to be so im going to be Better than them + tear them down'#-> 'i know my reputation so im going to lean into that + be ruthless + intimidating' ->#'actually fuck this? fuck this! im just gonna be me and if anyone has a problem w then L To Them I'm Actually Living'#also this is just my hcs at this point but like. i do think ted helped a lot w the latter part of this process in so much as. ted embodied#someone who was Visibly weak + vulnerable and had no armour/no sense of self preservation#(the opposite of trent's persona) and made no effort to change anything abt himself to prevent attack. obviously ted has a lot of social +#class advantages that make that less risky for him than it would be for others but like. u get the drift#and i THINK. seeing how without that armour/facade ted was able to be rlly direct + earnest w connecting w ppl#like asking an interviewer 'what do u love?' and rlly genuinely wanting to know the answer#and bc TRENT was specifically in the position of 'i could fucking destroy u rn and u wouldn't put up a fight'#that kind of. shifted his perspective a bit? like. damn what would that say abt me if i wrote a hit piece on this guy rn#i disagree VERY strongly w the idea that trent's more positive character development moments happened ONLY bc of ted (i don't think that's#true for anyone in the show tbh) BUT i think ted's presence at a pivotal point in his life was what helped him confront the fact that#at this stage in his life all his intellectual armour was doing was making him into someone Mean rather than just incisive#like. 'is this a fucking joke' is not cutting journalism. u get me??#and arguably that's a fine and even safe choice to make when ur younger and have no support/reputation backing u up#but after decades? its like man wtf are we doign here if were literally just living preventatively#smth smth i hope i am not just a tumblr blog to u but a blog who is inventing the brain chemistry of a sitcom side character#w each new episode they watch. trent crimm is my best friend irl i know he would have scorching hot takes abt each new season of survivor#and would earnestly heckle the jury and final 3 alike
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beeseverywhen · 1 year
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god the duality between 'I don't want someone in my house' and 'yeah I'd like my own kids and no way I'm doing that alone'
#like ppl who don't want kids should be free to live their lives without ppl being like 'watch out! your biological clock is ticking!'#that's bullshit ppl shouldn't say that. but also. i would like kids and#after so many years trying not to get pregnant and that seeming like a worst case scenario. so desperately wanting to not become my parents#now i am an age where I'd happily have a kid if i were in the right life situation & i don't feel I've got all the time in the world anymore#lol like. the space in between 'too young to have a baby' and 'old enough that i risk more health issues/ will be an older parent'#feels way way narrower than i ever would have assumed lol. esp. because all the parents in my family are so young. the idea of being an#older parent is so strange to me. I'm so aware of the things you can't do when you're older and how it's harder work to run after them#and like my body is already wearing out way faster than anyone elses. my health's only gonna get worse so.#being an older parent just doesn't seem an option. not to mention like. the older i am the less generations I'll get to see.#i want to be a great grandmother damnit. lol.#like I'm on a clock. to get over my commitment issues or it legit won't happen. but yeah. can't think of anything worse than having#to have someone in my house. if i was rich enough to have lots of space that's one thing but. I'm not lol.#and rich ppl rub me up the wrong way whenever they try and chat me up so doubt I'm gonna marry in to money looool#like i have come to terms with the fact that. if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. id rather not get to be a mother than to settle#like that whole 'looking for a partner' dating life is not for me i can't think of anything worse. if it happens it happens#I'll either meet the right person who im willing to give up an empty house for or i won't looool#and it's not like im giving up the whole raising kids thing completely.#like I've got to play a significant hand in raising my siblings even if i didn't ask for that. I've got to see them grow and#help them reach those milestones. and whatever the circumstances I'm blessed to have had them in my life#even if i don't have my own kids I'm always gonna have kids in my life even if I'm an aunt rather than grandmother you know#I'm lucky to be in a family where raising kids is a communal thing. but yeah id love to have my own kids & have someone that looks like me#but I'm not willing to bring someone in to the world in non opportune circumstances deliberately.#like if it's up to me i want them to have 2 parents to look out for them and 2 parents that at least stand a chance of liking each other lol
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bixiaoshi · 2 years
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#i've been thinking and. it feels kind of unfair to me the fact that i dont have hs friends for smth they did to hurt me and#they dont rmbr. idk#it feels unfair to me the fact that in their eyes i just. disappeared out of their lives out of nowhere with NONE of them reaching out#and in my eyes they hurt me deeply bcs i realized they had a gc without me. like sure it happened years ago but that hurt me so deeply that#is a fear that i still live with. it was a fear i already had but. it happened once already. it can happen twice. it can happen repeatedly#and idk. idm ppl having gcs without me but. having without me SPECIFICALLY is a fear of mine that already happened once#and idk. it feels so unfair to me bcs. i will never get that back. i dont think i would want them back in my life but idk#those years were so fucking lonely bcs i was starting a new thing and i had NO ONE to go to when i felt lonely and all#i literally spent those first months in a new environment bcs i didnt have someone else to talk to and everything#and idk. it feels unfair to me and it feels so lonely bcs i see everyone else have those long lasting friendships having ppl they talk abt#the past with and i dont and its not something i will ever get bcs. i just dont have that and it feels so unfair to me#i dont rlly have big expectations when it comes to relationships bcs of many reasons so i didnt think they'd be around forever but#it still feels unfair to me bcs it wasn't life that made me leave but rather. smth i was deeply insecure about and . yeah#jo.txt
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mxdotpng · 5 months
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the soremik in my head is so vastly different from anyone elses idea of them that i fear if i ever speak out on the subject i'll have rocks thrown at me. but once again they are allowed to look but never touch. you have to expect this from me by now.
#.text#its for an actual reason this time outside of general preference though!#to sorey the best time to have told mikleo he loves him was before he met alisha. and then after. well. thats his secret now#i near constantly think about how sorey views his duty as shepherd. it is not just a title -- it is like chains.#he knows he is going to die some day. and its clear that after he becomes shepherd he knows its going to be soon.#i think a lot of the optimism sorey has is true. to an extent -- he believes the things he says to others.#but he knows some of them are lies.#its a kind of 'if i say it enough times and if i try hard enough then i can will it to be true' kind of mentality#which more often than not writes him off as naive and ignorant. and in some cases that is true. but in others he is often right. which is#why that optimism sounds like pure optimism rather than him trying to force things to turn out well#which is in turn connects to how he knows being the shepherd isnt something that comes without cost. it isnt just the weight that hurts him#and you know he knows this because the realization that he must become maotelus' vessel is not one that comes suddenly#to him. it has always been there. he knew this was going to happen. he does not fear it -- not entirely. it isnt the act of#sleeping or dying that scares him. its what comes after. but not for him. for the people around him.#he is never scared for what may happen to him. only of what may happen to others and how it affects them.#honestly the fact that this mentality came naturally to him is so startling... it came out of nowhere. only was this born#from the way that he loves and protects others. nothing else.#which turns right back around to mikleo. the shepherd is chained down by fate. he will not do the same to mikleo#i think he would do it because he believes hes protecting mikleo of the heart break. because more than anything sorey wants him#to live. after hes gone he wants mikleo to live. and i genuinely cannot think of their relationship as otherwise#because i know full well that the moment mikleo and sorey found out that sorey is human and he is going to die. it changed everything#even if it changed nothing it changed everything.#im going to love you for all of my life and youre going to miss me for the rest of yours. type of relationship.#not to mention sorey has this really large savior complex -- he knows he is hurting himself by doing this (by doing everything#really. the first thing that comes to mind is allowing alisha to become his sublord. if he dies because of their pact#but saves at least one life because of it. then so be it)#but is saving mikleo. which obviously isnt the case. thats never been the case.#but that is how it is and how it must always be.#sorry for the sorey essay. it will happen again
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