#I shouldnt care but I do
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Every day i think "i should start using this blog again" and then i look at my likes
#kernel panic#WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF#there's stuff in there from like 3? 4 fixations ago at this point#And i tend to get embarassed because by the time it queues im usually being really fixated on something else#I shouldnt care but I do
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Something something 16yo 2k12 Mikey gets sucked into a portal and sent into the RISE universe and ends up helping raise the RISE kiddos AU
#my art#rottmnt#tmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt raph#tmnt mikey#tmnt 2012#rottmnt splinter#it keeps us dancing au#do i wanna talk about this au#i LOVE the idea that the reason why the rise boys are so funny and jovial and kind#is because 2k12 mikey had a hand in raising them#he kicks splinters butt into being a better parent#and also gives the boys a parental/big brother figure to look up to#and care for them#2k12 mikey would ADORE these babies so much#*holds your hands* listen to me very carefully#he would LOVE on these kiddos so much#and they would ADORE 2k12 mikey back#ohhh the fics i want to write#as soon as i have time its over for you all i am OBSESSED with this idea#they would call him TEE in this too#because i dont think 2k12 mikey would wanna be called mikey#since theres ALREADY a mikey here#and something something shouldnt mess with the different dimensions yada yada#IKUD AU
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i miss her
#shes everywhere shes in my head she shares My Color yet shes a bit of my opposite. shes There nearly every day yet and still i miss her.#why do i need to be hers so bad. i really dont need to. shes one of my greatest loveliest friends and i dont want anything to ever#hurt our friendship#iiiiiii dont evn think she likes me anymore#i shouldnt care but i do#apologies. its 7pm. gayass thoughts and yearning#🦇#lavender.txt
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was rewatching fabian’s baron moment on account of it being the most delicious piece of pvp in my recent memory and ally beardsley’s growth as a player just shone through so brightly and with such clarity. after dusting off their shock they immediately asked about the nemesis ward, had enough knowledge about fellow pcs stocked to remember adaine’s ac with such like frustrated confidence and certainty, suggested to siobhan to dimension door out of adaine’s room, like. they came into this making a character with 4 dex. and now the dice deity offered to roll a check to sense if adaine was in danger. making decisions, asking questions, getting invested in the story, trying so hard with the tools they have to save characters from danger; ally beardsley is an incredible d&d player.
#blahblah tried to fly with a ribbon dancer SHUT UP. SHUT UP THEY HAD A VISION.#margaret encino’s call to the guards in battle of the brands is also a good moment#‘bonus action pick up a turtle and kiss it’ is CHARMING and FUNNY and APPRECIATES the art team#i swearrr to god if anyone comments abt them trying to railroad other players' actions. what the fuck do you want from them.#u hate when they play kristen as unserious when she’s literally a teenager with adhd + when theyre literally a comedian on a d&d comedy sho#but if theyre invested in other pc’s welfare youll shut them down too? bffr#ally beardsley you are so special to me#fully aware theyre an adult who likely does not care about people on the internet talking abt how theyre doing their job. as they should#they dont need defending they shouldnt need it people should just be normal abt them and until they are beardsley get behind me#yna.txt#fantasy high junior year spoilers#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#dimension 20#d20#ally beardsley
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You know what we should bring back?
Older christianity. I mean the anti government, anti military, community based christianity. The one that cared the most about peace, equality, mercy, kindness, and radical love. The one with shared property. The one that didn't conform to society but instead existed mostly outside of it. The one where noone considered one sin worse than another because in the end, we are all sinners trying our best to be better.
#“progressive christians are ignoring the bible except for ”love thy neighbour“”#yeah well LOVE OVER VERSES#quit it. im tired of this. just. can we just be nice to everyone?? please?? peace and love on planet earth??#“being gay is a sin tho” “wow this is so immodest” do i look like i care? does jesus look like he cares? i dont think so.#go stab out your eye or smth if you wanna live by the law so badly huh???#funny how suddenly it isnt literal and shouldnt be done because humanity learned and grew since that was written#*points to the verses used to justify homophobia* i mean literally this whole concept changed since then it isnt even the same thing#screaming at the top of my lungs while punching the wall like please please dont cherry pick the bible#“*blank* is a sin” do you like seafood tho?? is your clothing from mixed fabrics?? did you shave??#im just saying that maybe you should let the spirit guide you instead of following the law blindly. what do i know tho. im just a stranger.#queer christian#progressive christianity#i guess??#my religious rants#leftist christianity? anarchist christianity? i do not know??
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kids on twitter r bringing back truscum + anti xenogender ideologies.. welcome back 2016
#I hate it here#why do you care so much if someones identity is silly and whimsical. you shouldnt#''it reduces queer identities to an aesthetic'' our oppressors are not going to take us seriously no matter what we do Btw#why do you want validation from cishets so bad
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"shipping saiki is aphobic because he's aroace!"
stares at you with my demiromantic asexual in a committed relationship eyes then looks at the camera like im in the office
#good thing those folks have yet to find their way into my inbox or id be at risk of embarrassing myself lol#if you wanna see more of the content you prefer...make it yourself :3 MAKE IT YOUR FUCKING SELF lol#youre so attached to the idea youll complain about it but you refuse to do anything about it even create works that you and others will sur#ly enjoy how does this even make sense#sorry for reviving this from the dead when it blessfully hasnt been a thing in the tag for a hot moment but im still irritated hahahah#seriously you know what that screams to me? virtue signalling. you wont do anything except say a few words every now and again like#the motivation starts and ends at appealing to the popular opinion. earn your brownie points. and do nothing.#what is your care made of? thoughts and prayers?#every time ive asked one of these people why they dont make the content themselves the response has been 'i shouldnt have to lol'#you shouldnt have to bully people either with your aphobic BS but look at you! aw~#yall dont wanna commit to shit you just want to tell other people how they should exist.#if you cant create for whatever reason you better be ready and willing to drop your rec list and fave artists. and i sure as shit hope your#complimenting them thoroughly.
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hey guys 🤲 spare nille thoughts? s’il vous plaît???
#radio rambles#so many isat fics who brush over her addition to the found family#fine sure whayever but also. also#pls ? pls?#i still need to make a nille design………#in my mind nille is like 18 or 19 at best#raising her child sibling#and i think. i think. something so special about the party taking her in#and helping with bonnie. because. it shouldnt have to be her responsibility#ofc she loves bon but it shouldnt have. to be. her job to take care of then#and she still will ofc…. shes used to it now. instinct or smth#but having a whole family of ppl who are Equally (if not more after. everything) protective of bon ? like. pls 🙏#ALSO JUST#we dont know much about their home life… if nille and bonnie live alone etc#id like to think she has neighbors she might rely on sometimes. coworkers at jobs she wouldve had to have taken up#but just having like. actual and experienced adult influences in her life can be so powerful#someone to. talk to about. feelings#DO U UNDERSTAND ME. DO YOU THINK NILLE TALKS ABOUT EMOTIONS#about her own#auggh#this was supposed to be a short post but now ive said one billion things#oops#talk to me abt nille. in exchange. uh. nille design one day#ok?#isat spoilers#isat
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Why does pretty much every game except the one that takes place in Cyrodiil lean into Ancient Roman aesthetics for Cyrodiil and the Empire? Why are the only Roman aesthetics in Oblivion shit built by the Ayleids? Why is the one game where I could've been in fantasy Rome generic fantasy Europe??? Where is my fantasy Rome DAMMIT!!!!!
#listen usually i get that fictional cultures shouldnt just be wholecloth real cultures in a fantasy world but oblivion is not roman enough#and eso has to copy oblivions city looks for nostalgia's sake so while the clothes are more unique imo they cities look the same#i get what they were doing with each city having influence from the province nearby in ob but they couldve done that with more creativity#and the CLOTHES UGH i do not like oblivion's clothing#and every other game (morrowind and beyond) gives them very latin sounding names while in oblivion theyre there but not nearly as much#i just really like ancient rome and i was ROBBED#who cares about jungles!!!#mine#tes#tesblr#theres a really good comic about baby martin where they make it much more roman like and i love it
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“Yall couldn't handle simply lovely” “you wouldn't have been able to handle multi 21” “you wouldve exploded during brocedes” “y'all couldn't even handle Austria 24”
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP OH MY GOD SHUT UP PLEASE SHUT UP
FORMULA ONE IS A SPORT!!! STOP ACTING LIKE PEOPLE BEING UPSET AND BEING ANNOYED AT A DRIVER IS A BAD THING!!! YOU ARE NOT SUPERIOR BECAUSE YOURE NOT MAD ABOUT SOMETHING! YOULL BE MAD NEXT WEEK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE!!! ITS A SPORT! RIVALRIES ARE INGRAINED INTO IT!!! BE MAD! BE ANGRY!!!! HATE DRIVERS! ITS WHAT THIS SPORT HAS BEEN MISSING!!!!!
You are not superior for “handling” an event when your driver is the one who instigated it. You are not superior for not being upset about something. Being upset is the right response. Being upset means you have passion for the sport and for the drivers. Being upset IS THE REASON these events were as big as they were!!!!
“Yall wouldn't survive the rosberg hat throw”
Do you really think Lewis and Mercedes fans weren't AT LEAST as upset during that as max fans are today??? Are you serious???
This isn't even aimed at Lando fans!!!! This is aimed at everyone who says “y'all can't even handle xyz” everytime something happens!!! Rivalries need fans to be passionate about them! They don't just happen on their own with no one caring and being completely uninterested!
You are supposed to care about sports! Stop telling people they shouldn't care about their driver and their sport!
#like kind of a self-report#wdym caring is wrong#so ur telling me ur better than the fans that care…#so basically you dont care about your driver#wowwww#i wouldnt admit that tbh#ALSO#you obviously DO care#are you kidding???#formula one#f1#formula 1#obviously i dont mean hate drivers publicly#but hating teams and drivers is fine#its good even#WHERES THE PASSION#it makes the wins matter#it makes the fans matter#and the different teams#it makes the sport matter#guys pls watch one lfc man u game and come back to me#if you think people shouldnt care about rilvaries you wouldnt survive a week in the prem#go outside mate#go see sunderland v newcastle and come back to ms#liverpool derby even#max verstappen
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Thinking about the KaeyaJeanDiluc friendship where they grew up together and they were CLOSE & sure maybe Jean felt like Diluc & Kaeya were closer since they were brothers & sure maybe Kaeya felt like he had to keep secrets from the two of them bc they would never understand but they were like. A trio! A team!
& then Diluc’s 18th birthday comes around and everything goes to shit and Diluc LEAVES so they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc but just Kaeya & Jean & in some ways Kaeya and Jean get closer because of it but there’s also a pronounced DISTANCE where Jean doesn’t know how to reach Kaeya anymore & Kaeya is even more determined not to tell Jean anything & they both lose themselves in their duties to Mondstadt while also missing Diluc and ALSO, despite everything, offering each other unconditional support
& then Diluc comes BACK & in addition to Kaeya & Jean there’s the shaky reestablishment of Jean & Diluc and Diluc & Kaeya but it’s not THE SAME. they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc; Jean & Kaeya are knights and Diluc will never be a knight again & they all changed while Diluc was away & none of them know how to talk to each other anymore AND YET there’s still an undercurrent of trust!! Not fully, especially between Kaeya & Diluc, but Diluc still calls on Jean during the archon quest, trusting that she will keep their secrets even though as the acting grandmaster she should probably not. Jean says in her about Diluc voiceline that she understands why Diluc hates the knights & is working hard to make them an organization he can trust again. Kaeya covers for Diluc’s darknight hero escapades & fondly reminisces about their childhood in front of him. Diluc invited Kaeya to dinner at the winery & (afaik) never told anyone about Kaeya’s origins. Kaeya tells the traveler that they need to give Jean their full support and planned a birthday party for her. Jean left Kaeya in charge of Mondstadt when she went to the golden apple archipelago! On some level they recognize that their goals still align!! There’s still trust and love there but there’s also this gap between them that none of them know how to cross and I just!!!
#kaeya#kaeya alberich#diluc#diluc ragnvindr#jean#jean gunnhildr#genshin impact#YOU CAN TRY TO REASSEMBLE THE PIECES BUT THEY WILL NEVER FIT THE SAME WAY. AND MAYBE THEY SHOULDNT.#I DONT KNOW IF THIS MAKES SENSE AT ALL I’M JUST GOING INSANE THINKING ABOUT THEM#GRIPPING THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE. HEY DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT KAEYA JEAN AND DILUC BC I SURE DO.#also not blaming diluc for the leaving btw I feel like it was necessary for him#it’s just emphasized bc of how it contributed to the change in their dynamic#I can’t always put it into words right but I have a lot of thoughts about these three.#my brain is going GSVDKDBCJHDEJDHSBDVDHWBDNHSJSBSJDGSHSBSHSB rn#also also in the ‘duties to Mond’ bit I’m also not downplaying kaeyas indecision abt choosing mondstadt/Khaenri’ah#I don’t think he’s chosen & I think he has genuine love for but also feels indebted to both places#I fully reject the ‘oh kaeyas chosen Mond fuck Khaenri’ah’ takes i hate them it’s so much more complicated than that!!#he can care about both places!!!#anyways just wanted to clear that up since I didn’t really elaborate & don’t want it to be taken like that
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“You’re going to blow out your arms,” the villain observed. They watched as the hero merely grit their teeth, shoving themself through another pull-up. It looked painful, and if the sweat slicking the hero’s brow was any indication, it was.
They waited for the hero to let themself drop from the bar and accept the villain was stronger. But they didn’t.
Three more pull-ups, and the villain stepped in.
“Hero,” they said slowly. “You’re about to tear the ligaments in your arms. You need to stop.”
The hero blew out a shuddering breath. Struggled for purchase, fighting gravity—and let themself drop.
The hero’s hands were bleeding, calluses torn open by the bar. The hero didn’t seem bothered when their own hands shook so much that their blood began to splatter on the gym floor.
For a moment, the villain could only stare at them.
Shit.
They didn’t know how to handle this. They knew the hero was dedicated. They knew the hero was strong, and perpetually trying to be stronger, but they hadn’t thought…
They hadn’t thought the hero would be so willing to tear apart their own body for success.
It was supposed to be fun, the villain thought. They felt a little sick as the hero pressed their palms together to soothe the bleeding, an action that was practiced and familiar. As if they had done this before.
The hero reached for something in their bag, smearing blood on the side, and pulled out a roll of blue electrical tape. The villain didn’t understand why, until the hero tore a strip off and made to wrap their hands with it.
The hero would be the death of them.
They crouched in front of the hero, plucking the electrical tape out of their hands.
“What are you doing with this?”
The hero blinked at the villain like they were the strange one in this situation.
“Wrapping my hands?”
The villain hissed in a breath.
“With electrical tape?”
The hero flushed slightly, looking down at their bloody hands. They looked close to tears.
“It…sticks to skin, really well. And it doesn’t move, either, when you move your hands or wherever else, even if you’re fighting. Plus, blood doesn’t make it come off, at least, not for a while.”
The villain blinked at them.”
“Blood doesn’t make it come off,” the villain repeated, processing. The hero nodded, reaching for the electrical tape. The villain settled it out of reach.
“Not if you wrap it right.”
Dimly, the villain realized that meant the hero had done this enough times to have it down to a science.
“And you couldn’t use a bandaid?” The villain asked incredulously. The hero shrugged a shoulder, then winced at the motion.
Yeah, the hero had absolutely blown out their arms.
“Bandaids move—“
The villain hushed them.
“Be quiet for a second.”
The hero, wisely, went quiet.
The villain rubbed a hand over their face, then studied the hero for a moment. They took one of the hero’s hands into their own, studying the damage.
“Why did you do this to yourself,” the villain murmured.
“What do you mean, why,” the hero snapped. “It’s my job.”
“Your job is to save people,” the villain corrected. “Not destroy yourself.”
“I’m not destroying myself—“
“You are.”
“Shut up—“
“Hero.”
“I need to be better,” the hero snapped. Their voice rang out across the gym, echoing into the rafters, and they both froze. After a moment, the hero spoke again, voice soft. “I need to be better.”
They said it like they needed the villain to understand. The villain wondered who they were really saying it to—the villain, or themself.
“Better than who?”
“Everyone.” It was hushed, like a secret.
The villain watched them, waiting.
The hero took a shaky breath
“My whole thing is being the best. I have always been the best. That’s the only reason I matter. If I’m not strong enough, then I am nothing, so I need. to be. better.”
The hero had started crying, very quietly, like they were afraid to take up too much space.
The villain was not equipped to handle gifted kid burnout.
“There’s more to you than just being a good athlete,” the villain said hesitantly, and the hero shook their head.
“No. There isn’t.”
“Hero.”
“Can you give me back my electrical tape?” They hiccuped to contain a sob.
“No,” the villain said firmly, and then the hero really was sobbing.
“You don’t understand—“
The villain didn’t. Not really. They had never been the kind of talented that the hero was.
They wondered now if maybe that was a blessing.
“I don’t,” the villain agreed. “But I do understand that you’ve saved half the city, and you give everything you have to give, and you always do your best.”
“But I-“
“No.” The villain stopped them. “You are doing your best.” They tipped the hero’s chin up until they met the villain’s eyes. “And it is enough.”
The hero froze, eyes darting over the villain’s face. They wondered if anyone had ever said that to the hero, if whatever mentor they had was giving them anything other than orders to be stronger. Be better. Be more.
The villain had some new targets to take care of, it would seem.
For now, though, they had to take care of hero.
“We’re going to go wrap your hands,” they said softly. “And then we’re going to take care of your arms, and you’re going to take a nap.”
The hero nodded, watching them like they were some kind of good, selfless person.
“And if I ever catch you using electrical tape again, so help me, I will put you six feet under.”
That startled a laugh out of the hero, and they let the villain guide them to their feet.
“Fine.”
The villain turned to them. “Okay?”
Are you going to be alright?
The hero seemed to understand.
“Okay,” the hero agreed.
Yes.
And so, it was.
#writing#writing community#snippet#angst#heroes and villains#ficlet#writblr#hero/villain#hero whumpee#exhaustion#overworked#villain caretaker#whump#kind of#in case you’re wondering. yes you CAN do this to yourself. it’s completely possible#essentially what happens is if you do a motion (a pull-up) more than your body is capable#it gets mad. this is different from training till failure. this is to failure and then beyond#so while you started using the correct muscle groups you those muscles get tired and despite the tired you don’t stop#so then your body switches to muscles it SHOULDNT BE USINF and then you fuck up your elbows (in the case of pull-ups)#and then you can’t straighten your arms for a week bc the ligaments and tendons and all the little movement parts want to keep it curled in#I’m not a doctor#I’m just a gifted kid who was an athlete who got burnt out and destroyed her body lmao#this is possibly maybe based on true events that occurred#anyways. I’m not a doctor but you can use electrical tape on wounds. yes it sticks. yes it stays. it’s honestly very useful.#electrical tape > bandaids#do not do anything listed here it is BAD. do not blow out your muscles it hurts. properly clean ur injuries. I beg you.#don’t get injured at all#thank you to my friend who went “pull-up’ competition and then watched me create this angst#love u besties. drink water. go to sleep. summon demons. ❤️ self care
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Catholic Guilt will really get to you about the stupidest shit ever why is this so stressful
#tw catholicism#srsly tho#fuckk dude#I was fine all day but im thinking about this whole amusement park debacle#idk what to do#cause im gonna feel bad either way#im either gonna feel v v guilty or im gonna be brain bad for a while#ughh#its really silly and i shouldnt care this much#but i do#im not gonna get into it cause writibg it out puts how silly it is into perspective#god
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someone needs to grab me by my neck and stop me from making a meta post about idw soundwave and the cassettes and about how his insistence that they are equals (or at least some of them are equals) is in direct contradictory with how he actually interacts with them/how their dynamic is written throughout idw. because as much as i do think they are generally a group that cares and relies on each other (minus ratbat, who has 0 reason to gaf about any of them and vice versa), i,,, ough. its messy.
i do not think this is a weird character writing moment, i actually think it's SUPER interesting to think and talk about. but i can't,, i shan't,,, unless ✍️👀
#blight rambles#transformers#maccadam#maccadams#transformers idw#tf idw#tf idw1#transformers idw1#idw1#soundwave#idw soundwave#tf soundwave#cassetticons#tf cassettes#decepticons#do i tag the cassettes individually?? theyre not directly named BUT this is about them.#fuck it#ravage#laserbeak#buzzsaw#frenzy#rumble#as much as i think the soundwave family jokes are funny i do not think a family dynamic works for idw. at least not a typical family dynami#these are seven fully unrelated adults with their own personalities believes and wants and one of them- soundwave- is in a unique#position of power over the rest of the six. remember. ratbat rumble and frenzy were not willingly part of the team. they were forced.#soundwave clearly cares about the team but by his own admittance he doesnt see ratbat as an equal and rumble + frenzy were physically#threatened to be part of the team. even ravage laserbeak and buzzsaw are 9/10 usually seen as being subservient to him.#its INTERESTING. its GOOD. its also very painful#edit: beliefs* i shouldnt type when im tired#wish i had more time and energy to write the stuff i want.... agn.
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i just finished dark heir
#me foaming at the mouth during the last chapters: HE IS! FUCKING! SAVING YOU!#i am huddled around will kempen hissing like a mama cat none of these fuckers are allowed to look at him#dark rise#okay but like. cyrian at literally every moment in the book you see will anticipating things and making connections#that you never make. doing things like a leader & being fucking smart and strategic. and your dumb ass really thought.#hm. must mean i shouldnt listen to him about the magic staff that can literally stop the end of the world. must be evil.#me: [screams into the abyss]#i know i cant expect characters to react like readers and they DID all react like i knew they would but god it was so infuriating!!!!!#and heart breaking! god!!!! god!!!!! will reliving his mother's initial betrayal over and over and OVER again#and thinking about all the little moments we get where the novel tells us: if these 'evil' characters had just been accepted#instead of tossed aside maybe they wouldnt have fallen. if they had been protected instead of killed maybe they would have#become protectors instead of killers. maybe if will's mom hadn't tried to butcher him for the sin of his own birth#he wouldn't have been so scared to tell people he lied to them.#anyway im not normal about will kempen and if book 3 doesnt give me his friends fucking accepting him i'll kill someone#me looking directly at visander: i dont care how charming you are i'll murder your ass about it#i read this book in like 5 hrs im being very normal about it
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in a some kind of an effort to make myself visible i guess. heres my art links
fic blog / fic tag on main blog / ao3
art tag
gif tag
ko-fi shop for bracelets
#i just. feel invisible again. sorry#i shouldnt let it get to me but seeing 99% of my efforts being ignored just hurts. like in general not just with art#but this is the easiest to try to push so. whatever#at least if im as bad as i feel rn i would like someone to tell me. so i can stop wasting my time trying#i dont know anymore. i wish i could stop caring so much whenever i do try. lmao#just reblogs would be nice. maybe peep at things. i dont know#im tired#night is an absolute mess on main
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