#so basically you dont care about your driver

[sunrizef1]

“Yall couldn't handle simply lovely” “you wouldn't have been able to handle multi 21” “you wouldve exploded during brocedes” “y'all couldn't even handle Austria 24”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP OH MY GOD SHUT UP PLEASE SHUT UP

FORMULA ONE IS A SPORT!!! STOP ACTING LIKE PEOPLE BEING UPSET AND BEING ANNOYED AT A DRIVER IS A BAD THING!!! YOU ARE NOT SUPERIOR BECAUSE YOURE NOT MAD ABOUT SOMETHING! YOULL BE MAD NEXT WEEK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE!!! ITS A SPORT! RIVALRIES ARE INGRAINED INTO IT!!! BE MAD! BE ANGRY!!!! HATE DRIVERS! ITS WHAT THIS SPORT HAS BEEN MISSING!!!!!

You are not superior for “handling” an event when your driver is the one who instigated it. You are not superior for not being upset about something. Being upset is the right response. Being upset means you have passion for the sport and for the drivers. Being upset IS THE REASON these events were as big as they were!!!!

“Yall wouldn't survive the rosberg hat throw”

Do you really think Lewis and Mercedes fans weren't AT LEAST as upset during that as max fans are today??? Are you serious???

This isn't even aimed at Lando fans!!!! This is aimed at everyone who says “y'all can't even handle xyz” everytime something happens!!! Rivalries need fans to be passionate about them! They don't just happen on their own with no one caring and being completely uninterested!

You are supposed to care about sports! Stop telling people they shouldn't care about their driver and their sport!

[schlattslonghairytoes]

pictures and pizza📸 🌃 🌹

personal assistant reader x boss schlatt

schlatt forgets something important. again. how will he make it up to you?

working for schlatt was easy

getting every thing done meant you guys could kinda just hang out

you two were getting along great, you were basically friends, except you cooked for him, cleaned, and kept his schedule moving

and you were beginning to love it

but not everything can be perfect

there was one thing about schlatt that was very hard to deal with

schlatt is really fucking stubborn and no diss, a bit lazy

like omfg it was getting old

if he didnt want to do something, or better yet, didnt want to get out of bed!

there was no use, you had no chance of convincing him

but that is your job, and you were damn good at it

it was 10am, as that was the set time you and schlatt decided work began. he had gifted you a key to his apartment after one morning, where you had to call his little sister to let you in, you thought schlatt was dead.

he just fell asleep with headphones on.

anywho, you let yourself in and tidyed up the living room, because the night before schlatt promised you he would be up and ready at 10, he had an extremely important meeting at 11 that was kinda far.

like he could not miss this.

so you trusted him, you also hated barging into his room, it felt like a total invasion of privacy to you, schlatt didnt care when you did it, but to you it was the end of the world

so you waited.

and waited

until you knew he would not make it on time if he wasnt up.

so you mustered up all your courage and knocked on his door.

... silence

by then you gave up and opened the door, and oh lord if you werent mad at him it wouldve been the cutest thing youve ever seen

he was spread across his bed, limbs and blankets everywhere, and jambo and garlic bread (i am not writing REACTED every time.) were cuddled up on top of him. jambo curled up in his left arm, and garlic bread sprawled across his right leg

for a moment you forgot you were mad at him, he looked so handsome, yet so adorable, his mouth was open, and he was snoring softly, and honestly drooling a bit

you pulled out your phone and took a picture, wanting to make it your lockscreen but too scared he would see it. you hearted the picture in your camera roll before opening youtube

you connected your phone to his speaker in the room, and searched "morning bugle call" and hit play on full volume

jambo and garlic bread went flying off of schlatt as he sat up and slapped his hands over his ears "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT" you were wheezing on the floor at that point

when you finally stopped laughing you locked in and turned of the sound, then frowned slightly at him "up and at it, we were supposed to leave 30 minutes ago, you have 5 minutes to get ready. your outfit is picked and hung in the closet, lets go." and you shut his door and sat waiting on the couch

he was out in 4 minutes and 26 seconds. you handed him the breakfast you got him and made your way out the door silently.

"toots, im so sorry, i know i said i would wake up, i swear i set an alarm, c'mon dont be mad at me doll. i promise it wont happen again." he followed hot on your tail, almost chasing you.

like if someone saw they might be worried your about to be abducted.

you sighed and got in the drivers seat of your car, you wanted him to eat so you decided he could be the passenger princess for once

"schlatt this is the third time this week, im not mad, like this is literally my job, but it throws the whole day off, its whatever, eat your breakfast so you dont pass out at the meeting." the meeting was in new jersey and you didnt want to hear schlatts bitching the whole way

you turned up the music and hoped he would be quiet

schlatt on the other hand was rethinking his entire being

how could he let you down again, all he wants is for you to love and want your job, and hes already jepordizing that. for the span of the 30 minute car ride he hatched a plan.

after his four hour meeting he was drained, he waited to see your car pull up and get him, but you were taking an abnormally long time, he was getting worried

but those fears subsided quickly when he recived a text from you

"im gonna kms johnny. why the fuck did you have to have a meeting in new fucking jersey. traffic is insane, be there in 30 minutes pls dont die to a homeless man."

that certainly made him feel better, he searched for a near by store or cafe, but when he found a flower shop he knew that it was redemption time

you on the other hand wanted to throw yourself off of a freeway.

the traffic leaving the city to new jersey was insane, why on a thursday at 430 was traffic slower than joe biden falling off a bike? dont have the answer to that one

but this drive gave you time to think, it wasnt schlatts fault he had trouble waking up, and when traffic got so bad you could literally park, you went on amazon and bought him an alarm clock

one that will for sure wake him up, problem solved. now you could relax. night changes played on aux (rip liam 🥲) and you could think about the man you were ten minutes away from picking up

you opened your phone to see the picture from this morning, you decided so what if he sees, this picture ment the world to you, even though schlatt had been in your life for nearing a month, you knew he'd somehow be apart of it forever

schlatt stood outside of a coffee shop you told him to wait at, holding stuff that could possibly help fix his mistake.

when your car pulled up he started to get nervous, what if he got the wrong flowers, or they didnt make your coffee right, but those doubts melted away when your car came to a hault

you watched him open his door and hand you a large bouquet of flowers and a cold brew. overwhelmed at first you didnt realise what you were holding. you placed the cup into your cup holder and looked at the flowers infront of you

it was made up of roses, lilys, sweetpeas, carnations, alstroemerias, daphnes at the bottom you think?, ruscus, dusty millers, and eucalyptus.

you didnt even know this many pretty flowers existed, after placing the boquet on your lap, you reached over and threw your arms around schlatt

"johnny what is this!" you exclaim, voice muffled my his neck, suprised he wraps his arms around your waist and holds you close

"thought you deserved a gift after i fucked up this morning" he sighs, whichmakes you pull away, but you place a hand on his cheek, slightly scratching his beard with your nails

"oh jay, i wasnt even really mad, this is the nicest thing anyones every done for me" you look at him in awe as he leans into your touch.

"yeah but i feel bad, m' gonna make it up to you, tonight your comin' over, were gonna watch 10 things i hate about you, play mario kart, and order pizza, dont ever let me break your trust again, sound good toots?" his smirk cut right through your heart

oh he looked so kissable right now

that night was spent cuddled up on his couch, playing wii games, forcing schlatt to watch rom coms, and stuffing your faces with pizza

he made you feel like you were in a rom com

that was only just beginning

[loveandmurders]

Hello🖤

If you're accepting requests i may have a fun idea. I've had this scenario in my head for a while but dont have the writing skills for it.

So basically billy, stu and reader (all three were ghostface) escaped from the police and while on the run (let's ignore geography for this) they come across a kind (but a bit strange) man who carries roadkill on the back of his truck and he kindly gives them a ride to the nearest town - Ambrose. Slasher shenanigans ensue

The reader can be gn, the gender doesnt really matter. You can choose if you want to write a blurb, headcannon and stuff

Im sorry if this too much to ask and you can tottaly ignore this

Hello, love sorry it took me so long to get to your request, but here you are! Hope you'll enjoy <3

SOME INTERESTING HOLIDAYS (Ghostface x GN!reader)

Warnings: no proof reading, mentions of sexual activities, of blood and violence

-You hadn’t thought things would go so out of hand. But now the more you thought about it, the more obvious it was that your plan wasn’t a flawless one… you actually forgot the essential (like in most horror movies): a good ending - especially for the killers.

-You killed everyone - no final girl for once.

-And your two lovers would have enjoyed playing with you in the blood of their victims and glory of the victory, but you quickly realised you had to leave before the cops could find you.

-So here you were, with your two lovers - Billy and Stu - running away as far as possible and as quick as possible from Woodsboro.

-Billy was a little bit annoyed he was forced to leave the city. He hadn’t really thought of the consequences of all of this, and maybe it was also why he was feeling so upset. He was supposed to be a mastermind.

-Stu was laughing, he was so proud of what happened and adrenaline was still pumping into his veins. His hands were happily roaming your body as Billy was driving.

-As long as your boys were safe, you were happy too. You kissed Stu with fierce passion until you heard Billy groan.

-You sent him a little look, quite curious about why he was so grumpy now. “Don’t distract me” Billy finally said and both Stu and yourself started to laugh and to tease him.

-Your life was a dangerous one and you didn’t even know what you were going to do with yourself now, but as long as you were all together, you didn’t really care.

-The three of you drove for days and weeks; you were starting to get bored actually, and there was no plan on when to stop or even where. Until you saw some advertisements for a “House of Wax”.

-Billy didn’t want to stop for this but you whined so much - and Stu supported you - so he finally gave in. He rolled his eyes and reminded the two of you you were children.

-It was then you met a truck on the other side of the road. The driver stopped at your level and lowered down his window “All good?” he asked you in a very heavy southern accent. You peered into the truck and could see roadkills, but the man looked sweet.

-You knew you all looked innocent as well though; so you knew better than to judge a book by its cover.

-Billy explained to the man that you were on holiday and you wanted to visit the House of Wax since you saw the advertisements. He also asked if there was a motel nearby. 

-The man - Lester - said there was no motel near the House of Wax, that you would need to go into another town for that. However, the museum was a really interesting place. It appeared that his late mother and brother were taking care of it.

-You all politely thanked Lester and agreed to follow behind his truck to not get lost on the roads. The man was nice but you all felt something was… amiss.

-When you arrived in Ambrose, you all exchanged a look.

-“If that’s not a killer on the run dream…” Billy muttered as he looked around “No one could find us here” he continued.

-“But there is no motel around either.” you hummed “And it really looks… deserted. I didn’t even see Ambrose on the plans when we looked at the last gas station.” you added “How could people still live here?”

-“Well you'll quickly know it, because we’ll try to stay here, at least for a little while. No one can find us.” Billy replied and you pouted.

-“We’ll get bored here” you whined but the boys gave you a look full of promise; how could you get bored when they were around?

-You all got out of the car and thanked Lester again. He also introduced you to his big brother, Bo.

-Bo instantly watched you all with great interest. You were young, you were hot and he was certain you would all look amazing in the House of Wax.

-No need to say that the twins were very surprised about how good you were when they tried to kill you, and that you were now the ones trying to kill them. With Lester, you were clearly on equal strength.

-You had discovered that the town was empty apart from the Sinclairs and the wax statues and you started to understand that it was like a massive deadly trap. But you were good with your knives and you actually were crazy enough to enjoy it. It was like a workout for the three of you.

-At some point, you managed to jump on Vincent and to put a knife under his chin. Bo aimed at you, Billy aimed at Bo with a gun he found and Stu blocked Lester from coming closer.

-“Alright, alright, how ‘bout we talk ‘bout this?” Bo finally offered. He noticed that Vincent didn’t try to get away from you, so it meant his twin could tell you would slice his throat open if he tried anything.

-“You’re the ones who attacked us” Billy argued back.

-“Is it like a playground for killers?” you hummed and Stu smirked.

-“Who the fuck are ya?” Lester frowned.

-“Who we are doesn’t matter, what matters is that we are killers. Just like you. But right now, Y/N is the best of us and they are going to kill your brother if you don’t let us go” Billy replied and you looked up at Bo with a dark smile, drawing a little bit of blood from Vincent.

-Bo instantly lowered his gun, put it on the ground and Lester moved away a little as well. They both put their hands up. You exchanged a look with Billy and Stu before moving from Vincent. You were all facing each other now, wondering what to do next.

-The Sinclairs had never met people like them, especially not people so brutal, so smart and so dangerous than you all. They felt curiosity, even more when Billy wrapped an arm around your waist and you moved your head on Stu’s shoulder. You looked like the lovers of Death. So young and so good looking, and yet so deadly.

-“Ya’re on the run” Bo hummed “And ya were lookin’ for somewhere to stay” he guessed. Vincent signed something to his brothers. Lester didn’t seem too happy about it and Bo thought his twin was losing it.

-“What did he say?” you asked with an arched eyebrow. No one answered you and it annoyed the boys “They asked you a question” Billy growled.

-“Vincent’s invitin’ ya over… he’s really interested in ya’ll” Bo finally replied.

-You were always the one enjoying playing with fire the more so you quickly moved closer and shook hands with Vincent.

-“I’d like that. I’m Y/N, nice to meet you, I guess” you smirked.

-Vincent and you got along pretty instantly, even though you didn’t know ASL. He wrote to you so you could communicate. Your shared love for knives helped a lot as a discussion starter. And then, your love to sneak around and kill people. And then, your love for every kind of art. You wanted to hide in Ambrose now and Vincent was more than eager to welcome you here. It would be nice to have people around who were understanding his way of life. And there were so many houses that could be your new home, at least for as long as you needed to hide away.

-Bo and Billy weren’t too happy about it, because it wasn’t part of the plan, because they couldn’t trust anyone, because they would need to be even more careful than usual so their favourite people wouldn’t get hurt.

-Stu was happy if you were happy, even if he was a little bit jealous of the attention you were giving to Vincent, at first. So he joined the two of you in your conversation, and he actually started to have fun as well. Lester noticed how Vincent seemed to be relaxed and it warmed his heart. It never happened before that his brother was so at ease around strangers.

-You all ate together in Sinclair's house. Bo stayed quite silent, observing you all, just like Billy. At some point, he asked: “So what, ya ain’t surprised my brother’s wearin’ a mask?” he asked. He just wanted for you to say something that would upset Vincent so they would kill you all in your sleep.

-But the three of you just shrugged “You’re kidding, masks are super cool. We’ll show you ours tomorrow” you smiled and the boys nodded “What’s a killer without a mask anyway?” Billy agreed “It’s classic horror” he added “Yeah so lame of you, Bo, to not wear any mask, by the way. You could have been the masked twins, ugh such a missed opportunity” Stu continued.

-Lester started to laugh and he thought he quite liked you all. You were some fresh air in Ambrose, fun and crazy. He knew it was the beginning of a new era for his family.

-Bo was bewildered but he guessed you weren’t so bad then. You had been polite with Lester and you weren’t judging his twin, so you could stay. Maybe he would even learn to love you.

-Vincent was eager to keep you all in Ambrose, forever. Maybe you could even help the Sinclairs build the future. You were going to be part of the family, he could feel it because you were different from usual people.

-You were monsters, too.

[coolprettyleo]

so american - juraj slafkovsky ☆

wc: 1.8k

tw: mentions of sex. fluff? kinda mentions and ED. lmk if there's more!

juraj slafkovsky x reader

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

being nineteen living in new york city is a scary thing for any teenager. if you could even still call yourself that, but you got by.

instead of going the route that most of your friends did, attending the university of michigan, joining a sorority, and marrying a retired frat guy; you did the complete opposite.

you skipped college and moved to nyc to be a model. it had been going very well for you, seeing as your face was all over times square and you began to become the newest it girl, and you thankfully made enough to pay for your high rise apartment and live a luxaric life that you've always dreamed about.

so why on earth would you be standing in montreal on a tuesday night?

your boyfriend would be the cause of that. he lived in montreal and a love began to grow for the city seeing as its the place you've fallen in love with him.

is it too soon to say that? im sorry, but it's no doubt love; the feelings you've felt.

he was the most perfect boyfriend, treating you like a princess and you couldn't be happier.

you were currently standing at the airport searching for his tall frame. being a long distance couple is not easy but you two made it work. seeing as during the season he's basically glued to montreal, it was up to you to come and see him in the beautiful city, which is why you were here now.

"im outside gate forty six" his thick accent came through the phone. his accent was something that could turn your face red, in a millisecond.

"no your not. im standing directly under it" you said searching for him.

"turn around" you heard his voice come from behind you.

and behold and beyond there stood your boyfriend, standing there in all his glory smiling ear to ear and your excitement to see him, flooded in.

you squealed so loud and dropped your bag to run up to him and hug him. one thing you liked about juraj was his height and the fact you were still able to be shorter than him being 5'11 and all.

"how was your flight" he said giving you a sweet kiss, before picking up your bags and still managing to hold your hand through the crowd of people.

"it was okay, im a little jet lagged though" you said as you saw his car.

"have you eaten yet?, I made us dinner at home" he said opening your door for you.

he knew you hadn't been eating. you had been so wrapped up in growing your name, this was the first break you had in months and juraj was quick to see that. he really worried for you and you've never had someone other than your parents care like that. if he kept up with all this shit, you were going to marry him.

"no, im sorry" you said looking down, as you got in. you felt bad how much he spent worrying for you and you still not eating anything past nine thirty pm was not going to eaze his worries.

"dont apoligize, i got you know" your heart beated at his words.

"I literally love you juraj slafkovsky" you said as he got into the drivers side.

"you literally?" he teased.

"stop it!' you said smiling. you knew already what he was about to tease you about.

"you are so american pretty"

"HOW?!?"

-----

you and juraj were at a bar with his teammates and you were feeling tipsy early on to the night. he was wearing a fit that had you in shambles. god he looked handsome. you were sitting on his lap leaning your face into the crook of his neck.

"Y/N!!!" you heard cole yell over the loud music. you lifted your head from jurajs soft neck to see his teammate, happy to see you in montreal.

"hi cole" you giggled at his excitement.

"sing 22 with me. I just put it into the karaoke machine."

"oh my gosh! yes!!" you said standing up from juraj. right away realizing you were way to drunk to stand, and losing balance.

"woah," juraj said grabbing a hold of your hips and helping you stand straight.

"okay, i think its time to head home" he says smiling at her, holding her up.

"but cole-"

"but she-

"we'll see you tomorrow cole" juraj said cutting both cole and his girlfriend off.

"okay then" cole said looking like a kicked puppy and waving goodbye to you.

"what are you trying to take me home so fast for? hmm" you said to your boyfriend seductively grabbing the collar of his shirt.

"to get you in bed pretty" he said walking you out. you blushed right away thinking the other thing and loved how forward he was being right now even though he meant far from that.

___

you guys arrive to jurajs apartment and all you wanted was your boyfriend.

he opened the door and you didnt waste time to attach your lips to his and push him against the door. his hands still on holding your hips from walking you in, squeezed your sides as he pulled away.

"what are you doing baby" he said giggling at your forwardness.

"I want you. now." you said to him attaching your lips to his sweet spot on his neck.

you knew his weaknesses and even though it hurt him to push you away, you were drunk.

"we cant pretty, your drunk"

"no im not" you said as he guided you to his room.

"yes you are. come on lets get these cloths off"

"sex time?" you said, face lighting up taking off your top.

"no. sleep time" he said helping you pull your boots off.

you groaned and threw yourself starfish back onto his bed.

"come here" he said pulling you up and putting his hoodie over your frame. he put some boxers on you and reached into his drawer for you that had some makeup wipes as you starred at him.

"im sobering up" you said to him as he wiped your makeup off.

"y/n" he said pointly.

you rolled your eyes as you laid back onto the bed watching him begin to change.

"you look pretty in my cloths" he said smiling at how big his hoodie fit you.

"you think I look pretty in everything" you said rolling your eyes at your boyfriends cheesiness.

"so, you are pretty" he said pulling the covers over the both of you and wrapping his arm around you as you cuddled into him.

you traced a finger over his features, seeing as it always helped him fall asleep.

"your pretty" you whispered to him, giggling.

"im pretty?" he said lightly smiling, eyes still close.

"mhm" you said to him.

"goodnight baby. I love you" he said after a while.

"I love you. goodnight" you answered feeling, restless. how were you supposed to sleep when he's with you? and you loved sleeping. you sucked it up, and decided to make sure to be completely sober for tomorrow.

____

you were currently hitting the hottest nyc bars with your best friends, after being dragged out against your will by them and you just wanted to be home in bed. you couldn't believe you used to love going out.

"come on y/n!" your friend yelled over the loud music pulling you along.

you were miserable.

you sat on the booth, when a guy came up to sit next to you.

"hey, im Logan" the man said to you, probably hoping to go home with you tonight.

"y/n" you said uninterested looking around hoping to find somewhere to go off too.

"you like-" he was cutoff by the next song and you couldn't help but think about juraj.

"my boyfriend likes this song!" you said to the guy.

"you have a boyfriend?" he said standing up.

"yeah, it was nice meeting you" you said walking away.

you saw your friend with her newest eye candy and you walked up to them.

"y/n! this is... omg I already forgot. but he said he plays hockey!"

"uhm no, I said I liked it"

"its okay. I know your secret" she said whispering and pushing herself right after.

"what's your favorite team?" you said hoping the conversation would bring up juraj. its like you couldn't go a conversation without talking about him.

"the maple leafs"

you cringed.

"my boyfriend hates that team"

"he a montreal fan or what"' the guy said with his arm still around your best friend.

"no hes a playe-"

"are you talking about juraj again!?!" a voice comes from behind you.

"what do you mean again. I don't talk about him THAT much."

your friends shared a look before they both let out,

"yes you do"

____

you were currently at a photoshoot for the cover of times magazine when you got a FaceTime call coming from your boyfriend.

"hi" you said answering.'

"hello, how is the shoot going"

"really good! we're doing the last outfit, and im so happy because im spent" you said exhaustedly.

"dont tire yourself too much" he said seeing her eye bags hiding under the makeup she was wearing.

"I won't, anyways what happened?" you knew he wanted to ask you something because he knew not to interrupt your shoot time.

"my mom wants to know if you would join us for christmas, and im looking at tickets rights now, did you want to join us?" he said with a hopeful look.

you wanted to squeal. he was taking you home to his native land, and for some reason that felt so sacred to you. doesn't this man know that you would go anywhere he goes?

"that sounds like fun, I'd think l'd enjoy that" you said smiling at him. he let out what seemed to be a breath he'd been holding.

"okay, love. im booking our flights right now then. thank you for doing this"

"thank you for inviting me"

"oh! that means you have to spend thanksgiving with my family!" you added.

"okay. is that actually something you guys celebrate?" juraj asked. he thought the holiday was something he saw in movies seeing as they didnt celebrate the holiday, from where he was from .

"obviously! its only the best holiday!!!"

"yeah? what's your favorite thing about it?"

"well I like the food, obviously. I like spending time with everyone and watching the parade in nyc- oh! and the football game is always so much fun to watch, omg! and we have to put on the game for christmas at your families" you said to him.

"that seems..." he said trailing off, smiling at your excitement.

"spit it out slaf" you said, knowing he was about to make fun of you. he hesitated because he didnt know if he wanted to keep teasing you over this.

"so american"

___

hi guys! im sorry about the inactivity. I've had so much work and school work but, I will be writing more though, because im currently in the hospital, getting treated for a spider bite... so ill have ALOT of time. send in au thoughts lol.

[sugar-omi]

Dilf!Cove spicy headcanons… crumbs for the masses please… 👀

HELP I SPIRALED THIS IS SO LONG.... THIS AINT CRUMBS ITS LITERALLY A WHOLE MEAL

but no bc why did this actually get outta hand.... um. anyway.... may or may not fix the format bc there's a lot going on but.. enjoy :)

tags : NSFW, DILF!cove, headcanons, multiple choice dialogue, dilf!cove is just frisky okay you just gotta read it, bit of bottom/switch cove, lots of service top cove

synopsis : nsfw dilf!cove headcanons

big. big man. big, beefy, squishy, thicc man with PROMINENT VEINS IN HIS (BIG) HANDS and he KNOWS ITS HOT and he ABUSES IT BC HE KNOWS YOU LOVE IT

constantly grabbing you, rubbing your thigh and back and shoulder...

can't drive properly unless he has a hand on your thigh or your hand in his

don't be afraid to smack his hand away, because thats how you end up giving truck drivers a show on the highway bc your nasty ass husband is fingering you or jerking you off until you're sloppy

like i think a few truckers know you by now....

he's so bad for yalls reputation</3

also you can't pay him enough to button his shirt up all the way.

minimum 3 buttons undone.

usually has 4-5 buttons undone and when he bends over you can see his (pierced) nipples and all the bite marks n hickeys you left behind last night

sleeps in less and less clothes

remember how someone (on twt i think? maybe it wasn an anon tho) said smth about why does cove wear long pants n shirt when he doesnt like layers?

well he had that epiphany too

and at first it was pants and tank top, or long sleeves n shorts

then tank and shorts... then just his boxers....

but now, he'll sleep full on naked

ofc if you're uncomfortable with it, he won't.

but who doesn't want their sexy husband to sleep naked?

it leads to interesting mornings too..

cove's hard length pressed up against you because he can't sleep without holding or being close to you

and for weeks, the morning starts with lazy hand-jobs, frisky blow-jobs (especially when he's sleeping, something you surprised him with when he said he dreamed about that yesterday)

and then it ended up with you or him on top of the other, your/his hips never too far away and you're lazily kissing..

or cove cuddling you in the morning, and you slip him inside you or he slips between your thighs.. cove loves it when you do that, pushing your ass back on him and he can just hold you while you fuck yourself on his cock

loves to take you on vacation or lil getaways

you're kids are grown and you're empty nesters, even if theyre still at home for college, they dont necessarily need you now

so if cove takes you away on a beach vacation, surprising you with a boat for a week. thats great!!!

and you promise to send your family pictures, but please be careful...

because that picture of the view through the window? you can see your naked husband in the reflection

that picture of you laying in bed with breakfast? you can see his soft cock laying on his thigh...

besides those photos, maybe think twice before sending the 'safe' ones or prepare for comments telling you to get a room (or your kids sending sick emojis or something bc cove is being touchy in the photo)

bc cove is either grabbing your butt, chest, his face in your neck, and/or he has you on his lap, and you can basically see the nasty thoughts in his head or his look of satisfaction or his hand is (once again) in a dangerous spot...

everyone jokes abt you 2 having the time of your lives over there, especially away from the kids

kid: please leave the sexual tension at the door BEFORE YOU GET HOME!!!! ✋️✋️

which they'd be right abt, because that selfie of you guys using the mini-bar in the backyard?

cove bends you over the mini-bar and sucks you off / eats you out until you complain abt the surface hurting your back and then he picks you up and brings you inside

that selfie of the two of you or one of you in the infinity pool, both of yall in your cute new swimsuits you bought for this trip, having a drink?

after that picture, cove has you leaning back on your elbows, the water splashing and clapping between you as he fucks you

or you'll be trying to take a selfie and he swims up behind you, and fucks you from behind.. your body squished between his body and the wet tile as he tells you how good you look in that swimsuit...

yeah definitely fucks you in the pool or hot tub several times.

while sitting in the hot tub, he has you in his lap and he's thrusting up into you, your arms wrapped around him and he's sucking on your chest

that picture of you guys in your formal wear, about to go to dinner?

you were so late that your table almost got given away, all because cove begged you to let him give you head after you got ready and dolled up

and you aren't even gonna mention how he stopped in the middle of getting ready himself to fuck you over the bathroom counter after you got out the shower

yeah, everyone sees you guys absolutely glowing when you come back, and there's definitely a mark or two on each of you that isn't hidden

mmm this is why I can see cove buying a boat

sometimes you can't afford to take a whole trip abroad or outta state

so why not spend the day on the boat, and maybe.. just maybe... you can sunbathe, sip mimosas, let cove give you head.... sounds like a great time <33

omfg surprises you with lingerie

buys himself something risque and lays out a trail of petals to the bedroom from the front door, and there he is, on a fluffy bed with more petals, laid/sat up all pretty

surprises you with toys too

even if its more of a gift to him, it benefits you <3

who wouldn't wanna pleasure their stressed husband after a long week, using whatever vibe, dildo, plug, or fleshlight that he picked out for you to use on him

even begs you to fuck / peg him, he really just wants you to take care of him

or if you let him, he'll fuck himself on your cock (or your mouth) until he feels better

also does it for you

buys you cute lil toys to use on you alongside his mouth or cock

no matter what, loves to pleasure you, especially with his own body

constantly using his mouth or fingers on you, he lives for it

also buys you lingerie if you'd like it

but mainly buys you clothes. be it formal, casual, or whatever

likes to dress you up period, especially for dates

ofc there's always a surprise in there :)

which always leads to you rushing home or sneaking into the bathroom at the restaurant n one of you tugging at the others clothes

omfg nudes and taking pics/videos...

by this point, cove will send you a cheeky nude or video while you're at work just to make you rush home or call him on your lunch break

loves it if he gets to come to your work and you ride him in the parking lot, growling about how dirty he is

if you send him a nude or video while he's at work, fuck he's in pieces

needs you to come fuck him or suck him off, or even let him get you off (he'll definitely jerk off while giving you head)

sometimes he just can't help but wanna take a picture of you and/or him during sex

you just look so pretty; covered in sweat n hickeys (and his cum<3), stuffed with his dick, or your head thrown back from pleasure when he's going down on you.

or his fingers stirring up your insides until all you can hear in the video is your sloppy insides, loud moans, and occasionally cove's dirty talk n babbles about how good you are for him

also wants to commemorate you or him looking pretty in lingerie

poses all pretty for you, shows off his fat ass in his lacy undies... he's just so cute

so not only do you guys have a lovely memory of a spicy anniversary (or random tuesday) night, but you also have material for the spank bank

because when you're away long enough, you can expect a naughty call from cove in the middle of the night

someetimes he sends you a text to please call him, he needs to hear your voice... or you catch him in the middle of reminiscing

he's all breathy and panting, tries to act normal but after the first few times, doesn't even bother trying to pretend his not rutting up into his hand or fucking himself on one of his favorite thick dildos<3

[ashlees-lostfiles]

bad religion

a/n: so ngl this is kinda bad like rlly bad but its bcuz i haven't written in MONTHS so i was trying to get back into it, any tips would be appreciated! (not proofread)

you and chris are friends with benefits, but the two of you got into a fight because you gained feelings for him and wanted more from him, but he didn't feel the same

‘taxi driver, be my shrink for the hour’

i'm driving through the streets of boston with the windows down letting the wind flow through my hair, taking in the scenery, and watching the leaves flow down from the trees. when i picked chris up, he got in my car. i say “Chris we need to talk, i can't keep doing this with you anymore like this i need more from you.” he stares back at me with a blank expression spread across his face as if he doesn't even care about what i said. “chris hello please say something, anything even. break my heart if you have to i'm just begging you to please say something.” he lets out a slight laugh as tears start to well up in my eyes he says “well, ma i don't even know what you want me to say i told you what this was from the start we said this was strictly sex no feelings were supposed to be involved, and we weren't supposed to get attached to each other that's your fault for catching feelings and thinking i would feel the same”

‘i can never make ‘em love me, never make ‘em love me’

“but why can't you even think about it and take it into consideration? think about how nice it would be, just me and you. always available whenever you want me for anything.” he shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose clearly frustrated “why can't you just understand that i don't want all of that, i don't want to be in a relationship tied down to someone, and always having to worry about someone else it's too much".

‘oh, unrequited love'

'to me, it's nothin' but a one-man cult’

tears start to fill the brim of my eyes as his words sink in my voice breaks as i say “so basically what you're trying to say is that you just don't want me” tears start streaming down my face. Chris looks at me with a saddened look in his eyes “ma it's not that, its just too much we both agreed on what this was and if you couldn't handle it then you shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place” i slap his arm and say “don't you ever call me that again you have no right to do so after saying what you did, you broke my heart and still go act like you did nothing wrong, you hurt me chris and you don't even care enough to apologize” i say as i start to sob becoming barely understandable.

“trust me i am sorry but this is your fault not mine” he says while putting his hands up defensively. “chris get the fuck out of my car i can't stand you right now, dont contact me again until you come to your senses”

‘it's a, it's a bad religion, to be in love with someone, who could never love you’

taglist: @diaryofmiyah @clairomatt

divider creds: @bernardsbendystraws

[nwjn-z]

Hi :) can you please write elf king Kyle x reader headcannons or a oneshot please?

Dating Elf King Kyle [headcannons]

warning(s): none

author’s note: anon words can not express to you how incredibly sorry i am for this being so late but here you go💔

you two have always known you would be together

since the both of you were 8 you knew you would one day marry as an arrangement between your parents

though you had only met once briefly at 10, you officially began courting when you moved to his palace at 17 to prepare to wed.

when you two met again for the first time in 7 years it was very awkward

the whole getting married to basically a stranger thing was kinda weird for both of you

the awkward phase of nervous hand holding and half smiles for your parents lasted until one night

you were on your way to a ball together when he asked you about a book he saw you reading

it was about forest animals and he then asked if you’d like him to show you something

you agreed and he then whispered something to the carriage driver and sat back down and put his arm around you

you noticed the driver had took a different turn than the way to your parents palace so you asked him about it

“Kyle, where are we going?” you ask softly tilting your head slightly to the side looking up at him

“Do you trust me?” He asks looking back down at you

“I suppose I do.” You reply

“Then you will see.” he said slightly smirking

after around 15mins you arrived at the mysterious place Kyle brought you to

it was a forest, lightly wooded though it so it didn’t seem dangerous but you did wonder in that moment

“why would he take me here?”

you looked up at him confused and they back in front of you and then that’s when you saw it

a group of deer in the not to far away, enough distance to not scare them but still close enough to see them in all their glory

“Kyle!” you whisper yelled at him

“They’re cute right?” he asked with a cheeky grin

you watched as the small group of deer ate and rested in total bliss, enchanted by their delicate beauty

you watched as a small doe stood closely by its mother, fearing ever leaving her side

“They are such beautiful creatures.” you said with a giddy smile seeing them live so peacefully

“I’ve always been fond of deer.” Kyle says to you

“They are so gentle, yet strong, delicate, but never fragile, sensitive, but not weak.” he continues “they remind me of you.”

“Really?” you respond, feeling your face heat up at his words

“Yes really.” he responded with a slight giggle

after that day your relationship with Kyle grew more comfortable than before, you really felt like listened to you, heard you, and cared about you

he took time to know not only your interests but also you dislikes

he remembered how you like certain food cooked, what smells and colors you dont like, and any other little thing most people wouldn’t notice about you

Kyle always makes sure you are not only treated as a princess, but also as his future queen

he has only the best clothes tailored, the finest food cooked, and showers you with the most lavish gifts money could buy

Kyle is often away for royal duties so he feels as if he has to make up for the time he can’t spend with you by getting you gifts

You appreciate his gifts ofc but you often have to remind him that he really doesn’t have to spend so lavishly on you

he does it anyway 🙄

speaking of him being away on royal duties

he hates it

he would much rather be spending time with you than having diplomatic meetings and shit

that’s why he’s all over you when he gets back

for like weeks he’s a total leach

all and all he’s a really sweat bf/fiancé that would do anything for you <3

[princemick]

TUMBLR F1BLR RULES!!!

hi, hello and welcome, we've seen what's been happening to twitter and we welcome you to our little corner.

there are however some things that differ from Twitter to Tumblr and so we have some different rules and behaviour then you might be used to!! I'm gonna try to explain them to you in this post! everything is below the tab!

reblog reblog reblog!!! likes do absolutely nothing, and your blog 'aestetic' in reblogs doesn't really matter unless you're a specific aesthetic blog, reblog are the way people see the content. likes are private! so remember to reblog the stuff you see and like!

DO NOT STEAL GIFS/GRAPHICS I WILL COME AFTER YOU!!! always ask if you can use a gif an then ALWAYS CREDIT properly

shipping is, prevalent. shipping even rpf is ingrained into tumblrs culture on every side of it if you dont like it thats a you thing, you can 'blacklist' tags so just add 'rpf' or the shipnames to them and you should be good!

continuing with that idea, curate your own experience is the most important thing on this site, blocking and blacklisting is normal and very much allowed and welcomed. almost no one is going to change how they do or act around here for one person, just unfollow or blacklist.

but do NOT put long posts or x reader fics, anything in the main tag without putting it under a 'read more' tab people will get annoyed by you

followers dont matter!!! no one CARESSS about basically anything this site is wonderfully anonymous and we can't see how many followers anyone has so genuinely no one gives a shit do whatever you want

remember to trigger tag and unlike twitter spell it out completely! so when a crash happens or is talked about make sure to tag it 'tw crash' even with reblogs!! also remember to tag when you're being negative about a driver as 'anti *insert first name*' never do full name then it will show up in their tags which defeats the purpose of anti tagging.

adding to that, use tags! they're one of the best tumblr features its free to be overenthusiastic and excited in the tags BUT the blog you can reblog it from AND the op can also read those tags so keep that in mind!!

be nice! this shud be a given, be nice, let people do their thing and vibe, just support people and block when u you dont vibe with them! when you do wanna send hate asks do it off anon, dont be shy do it on main

and things arnt 'weird' in the same way they are on twitter, this place has no drivers and no public figures so shame is a lot less existent here, you have to get used to that

and lastly as quoted by my anon 'Don't be afraid to be funny or weird be thirsty on main ship the middle aged man no one cares.'

and most of all. HAVE FUN!!! dont be scared to ask people how things work most of us are very okay with answering 'dumb' questions a lot of us have been here for about a decade we know its a confusing platform please ask away!

[the-blossica-fan]

Out of the Reverse 1999 cast who would be a good driver? (Ignoring the fact that some of the cast probably dont know what a modern car is, lets just say some eventually learn to drive)

Like we know Tooth Fairy if given the wheel will run over people. We know Blonney can drive, should she teach Jessica I wonder?

How about characters like Vertin, Kakania, Windsong?

(I probably headcanon Schneider probably does know how to drive, being a mafia boss and all)

(I totally see Tennant riding a motorbike lol)

(Lucy would probably be like installing Siri or something into a car since she can be 'installed' into a new body)

Just thinking of a silly idea that Vertin is forced to drive a car to escape Manus or something, it would be funny to see.

Mmmmm, characters being good at drivinngggg

Let's see with the ones you mentioned.

And no, I don't think Blonney should teach Jessica to drive, at all. She's not bad but she gets distracted easily and that well... Thank God it was just Blonney's arcane skill and not a real car. Good enough to drive but gets overwhelmed or distracted easily, not recommended to drive.

Kakania? Mmm I can see her as a reliable driver. She's probably really good at driving once she learns and is properly trained. I can see her driving a really nice car she bought around town.

Isolde on the other hand...

She's not bad, technically, but the ghosts messing around are very dangerous. She could get distracted, possessed or something along those lines. Someone ends up damaged. And if she and Kakania haven't made up and she sees someone resembling Kakania she WILL stop the car in the middle of the route. She's a safety hazard.

Windsong probably doesn't drive because she's poor. She doesn't think she could own a car because of her lack of money and when she actually tries to drive she gets easily confused or overwhelmed. She's good with field work and studies but in a car she's putting both at use. it takes her some time but she's probably a good driver. Very, very nervous and follows every rule in order not to have an accident.

I think it's better if Vila drives.

Vila Is pretty good at driving, she has to anyway. She's basically a mother of the Rayashki kids after 1.8 and has to take them to places so eventually she has to learn how to drive. It's calming when she drives, she's very careful but not overly careful and she knows what to do. The kids can be relaxing, Windsong studying and she's driving!

As for Vertin. Girl HAS to learn. She takes care of a bunch of arcanists and has the custody of someone like Isolde, she has to learn something. She probably has a variant of the Tooth Fairy curse where she's always getting parking tickets instead of running over someone. But she's chill, she's ALWAYS in charge of the music, I'm sorry Regulus but your ass is NOT listening rock.

Speaking of Regulus, she's surprisingly a decent driver. She had a boat and a motorbike, she's pretty good at driving. She doesn't like cars tho, she only drives if absolutely necessary, she's more into motorbikes.

I actually can't see Tennant driving. Listen to me okay-

Tennant is definitely a player and technically poor since she's always trying to take your money. She probably never actually drove a car and had the women drive her around. She plays a lot on that con and low-key useless woman. She actually has Vertin drive and asks her for money every time they get a ticket, she's just like that.

If she took the time to learn, she'd probably be fond of those old (well, canonically they're new or close to new) cars and use it to seduce older women. Or if she's trying to play onto the "bad girl" vibe, a really cool motorbike.

Lucy? Lucy has Simone against her will. The first time Lucy tried to drive she had her cables connected to the car and become the car. It was a terrifying experience to hear Lucy from the radio of a car. Eventually Simone became her chauffeur because she's the only one willing to deal with Madam Lucy. It's just Lucy telling Simone where to go trying to keep her excitement while Simone is like "Yes, Madam Lucy. We can go to an amusement park." (She a silly)

Schneider probs had to learn. She's the youngest of like, 12, so she was taught how to drive and drove Mariam around a lot. She's a menace on the street but actually follows the rules, she wants to mess with her terrified sister but still be a reliable sister.

Bkornblume is probably a good driver too! She's probably more fond of bikes because they're silent but she can drive you a stolen car around.

Melania... No I don't think so from Melania. She's probably walking or driving a normal bike around to get where she has to be in silence. She takes rides with the others but she's a terrible driver, Ms. Acey recommended that she doesn't try to drive anymore.

Diggers Is a good driver and I don't know how to feel about that. He's okay ig. He still gets arrested every time he touches a car, another variant of the Tooth Fairy curse.

Kaalaa Baunaa Is a good driver! She learned a long time ago, probably from Kumar, but hasn't driven in a while. It's actually Kanjira the one who helps her drive again since Kanjira does know how to drive.

Shamane tho, my man rides a bear he can't drive at all. He's bad at it and has to own it.

Going to 1.4, Sophia is the most decent driver out of 6 and 37 (her father taught her some things, she just never actually tried), unfortunately since she's gone they have to fend for themselves. They never saw a car, only Sophia, so they both suck for different reasons. 37 can't concentrate, 6 gets too nervous.

I could add so many more but I feel like it'll be too long since, well, too many characters. But if you want more you can tell me!

Vertin having to drive her squad in a stolen car far away from the Manus only to get five tickets for speed even if she followed the law. She just can't catch a break.

[gege-wondering-around]

I hope your world is a happy one at the moment! 🩵I was wondering: what are some of the things that never fail to make you smile?

Hi darling, so sorry it took me so long to answer you! hope you are having an amazing day!💗

I've been thinking about your question since it first caught my eyes a few days ago and between thinking about the answe and dancing between drivers ed and working on my WIP i got lost in time!

Anyway!

my WIPs:

Something that never fails to make me smile are surely my WIPs! Ant time i work on them (rn only on one of'em) i get so happy with myself!

I have a very horrible memory so whenever i re-read something i wrote even a week ago, i don't remeber much of it and i get always surprised by what i wrote and by how much i like it (it's also the reason why sometimes i read the same fics without even noticing it till the end!)

I was always the kinda person who preferred to write than to speak, so I've been writing (poetry, little scenes without any connections, little works maybe never finished from when i was in middle school, and my WIPs now) for basically all my life! the major reason of why i started writing a while back was to express myself, my pain and my thoughts while i was going through a hard time in my life, but now I got to enjoy this as a way of being alive and it brightens my day to be able to write such wonderful things (I'll post a fic soon, so i promise there'll be some ground for this info in a little while).

here's a little thing i wrote in my latest fic (coming soon probably)

So, I basically love writing! I also learned english because i like writing and i never like writing in my native language...

my cat:

big old boy here is my good old pal Bounty! (nobody calls him that, but whatever ahah)

He is clumsy, fat, friendly, a ball of fur and a basic dork! He loves nothing more than to give and recieve love and he has an obsession with his food (he meows as loudly as possible when he wanna eat) and he has been by my side for 8 years now, from when i first got down a bad road to now (where i'm all better) and he has never left me!

Kindness:

It's not very tangible but it just makes me glad to have fought so i'm able to witness how kind people can be! It reminds me the world isn't just cruel and unfair, but it can be kind and caring especially when we are towards each other!

and to give you an example of kindness, i'll bring out a passion of mine i dont really talk about here...

big old pal here comes from an anime called Trigun, his name is Vash.

buddy had no other goal than to be kind to everyone in every way possible despite everyone was against him cause they thought he was the bad guy cause he was different than them (let's say, he is the personification of what keeps humanity going in the show) and buddy here wanted nothing more than to help and despite carrrying this huge big boy here

he didn't use to shot to anyone, his aim was always towards the bad guys' weapons to make them drop 'em and his air the excellent!

to me, old pal above is one of the many examples of kindness i can think about but i think i can give you another we are both familiar with...

(from pinterest)

i mean, if he isn't a symbol of kindness without pulling in any "big ones" of kindness (and by this i mean a more popular person), i don't know what else to say...

my spotify playlist of the moment:

just love these songs and i just sing them all day

and here they are!

those never fails to make me smile!

hope you're having an amazing day and im about to run to your ask box to ask the same cause im too curious now to know your answer to this🫂✨

forgive any typos <3

[satyrcon]

it's december again!!!!! AH!!!!!!!!

well, this hell year is finally over. I think the biggest lesson I learned this year, is that even when you achieve everything you wished for, it still will never be enough.

not in a bad, or in an ungrateful way. but moreso that eventually, once you reach your destination, you'll eventually want to move onward and upward. things can change. they will change. and you just have to go with it.

this year has been equally exhausting and liminal. there were multiple times this year where months just blurred past, with not much to show for it. i've been a busy little bee at work, which is fine and dandy, but nothing really to show for it, which has been a bit heartbreaking. i pour so much time and energy and thoughts into work, i've forgotten who i am a bit.

i've been work-oriented my entire life. i knew i didn't come from riches, and in a way, i've always felt extremely insecure about it. i remember the ferocity i chased my first job with. not because i wanted to work, but because i wanted to earn. i wanted the security that if i wanted something, i could get it, without feeling guilty for asking my parents, who i've grown weary of even thinking about asking for money. every single job i've had, i've kept at it not for status, but for the ability to say that i can afford what i want.

but, ever since the pandemic, i've started to want more. it's not just enough to have a job, but now it's about the status, it's about what i do and how i do it, it's about income too. not so much about being able to afford the basics, but to afford independence.

when i first got this job in 2023, it felt like winning the lottery. now, i'm feeling a little bankrupt and world weary. i don't know if i still like it. i dont know if i have a future in it. i don't know much about anything. and it scares me a bit.

things at work have been tough since the beginning of the year. nothing too dramatic, but enough to leave a sour taste in my mouth. my confidence is near 0. but i have to keep pushing.

outside of work though, i'd like to think i've made some good progress.

after literally 10 years, i finally bit the bullet and i got my full drivers license. i haven't driven much since, and honestly, the idea of me driving alone makes me feel sick. but i feel at ease knowing that i have it. who knows, maybe this will change and i'll actually end up getting a car.

i've also started investing my money as opposed to just letting it sit idle in my bank. which feels good, even though i barely understand it all.

then, weirdly enough, i'm on the way to owning a home with my boyfriend. which is crazy to think about. he's the longest relationship i've ever had. and honestly, i feel like such an idiot when i think about the people who i've seen before. of all the circumstances i was in, where i should have left, or should have said something, but didn't. but that's a different story, for a different day, if i ever care enough to go into detail.

back to the home, i thought this would be something that couldnt happen to me. i thought i'd never be able to. but, the possibility keeps making itself more and more possible. i'm scared, but excited.

i think what has stopped my growth has been the fact that i still live in my childhood home. not that i have strict parents or anything, but it has the same effect as a security blanket. why would i leave? why would i ever work hard? why have goals?

sometimes i forget how old i am, i just turned 27. and it scares me sometimes, because i know i am extremely soft. and since the pandemic, developmentally, not much has happened, in fact, i've waned in a lot of ways. and i think the best way for me to face it, is to leave the nest, even if it will sting.

overall, 2024 was a mundane year. not much change. i'm still me, just a little bit older.

i really hope though that things will look up and change for me next year. that i make an effort to create more memories and to have more fun. to try new things and really take everything that comes my way.

that sounds really cliche lol. but that's how i feel.

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 2 episode 17 (CW: firearms)

the camera continues to be obsessed with kirks ass

this guy doesnt even know about subspace communication

kirk cant bother to exposit about space stuff

mccoy and spock walk in and immediately leave

mcspirk bickering

epic background music as if weve never seen them beam down before

so crazy how this planet looks like earth in the 60s. theyve never done that before.

why are there guns in star trek

the. mafia???

mafia guy thinks mccoy is flirting with him

jesus christ so many guns

these white girls talk like the street rats from little shop of horrors

The Pool Table of Business

kirk doesnt know how to play pool

...does this planet have countries that function like businesses? thats horrifying

yeah theyre basically the mafia

...OH THATS COOL

the "contamination" on the planet is books that made their culture Like That thats awesome

mafia boss getting touchy with kirk. okay

oh so NOW kirk cares about the "dont mess with alien cultures" rule now that the alien culture is asking him to mess with it

...is this about the cold war? it may vaguely be about the cold war.

mafia boss casually initiating a hostage situation with the enterprise.

scotty doesnt speak mafia

kirk invents space mansplaining

kirk dismisses spock like an annoying dog. i love this show

kirks incredibly good at bullshitting. charisma stat off the charts, expertise in deception

that was incredible

kirk carrying a gun just doesnt look right

kirk assumes that every mafia phrase he doesnt know just means murder

spock and mccoy make out NOW!

this dude talks like his throat is coated in rocks

yes background music we get it shes sexy

kirk isnt even fazed by the sexy lady massaging his shoulders out of nowhere

it has been 0 episodes since kirk has been imprisoned

this scene is like a click point adventure game

I Wonder If This Obvious Trap Is A Trap

Surely Not

oh my god i dont think ive ever heard kirk yell

he sounds like a videogame pain sound effect

goofy fight choreo improved by goofy background music

Wow So Crazy How It Was A Trap

I Cant Believe It

spock says why not try teamwork

hi kirk

mcspirk bickering

kirk literally told these guys to take off their clothes. i just.

damn kirk looks good in a suit

kirk cant drive

spock knows how to drive a stick shift but only in theory

worst driving ive ever seen

i love this show

"captain, you are an excellent starship commander, but as a taxi driver, you leave much to be desired" make out

kirk talks business with a child

this child is amazing

is this the first time theyve actually used the phasers when theyre on stun

kirks using mafia-speak, accent and all. i love it

kirks such a slut

get beamed up idiot

"are you afraid of cars?" "not at all, captain, its your driving that alarms me"

kirks mafia-speak is so cute

kirks standing on a pool table

these guys cant even learn teamwork

"this is koik"

Space Lasers, Activate!

wait are they dead

oh ok theyre unconscious. good

we have solved the space mafia by conflating all the space mafias

yeah so this is definitely breaking the "dont mess with alien cultures" rule

alright bye

[knoxic]

F1 DR

Rating the drivers fuckability part 1 / part 2 / part 3

20/25 drivers / to make everything easier, in my dr some of them are reserve drivers but I decided to include them anyway / this is all basically a headcanon

-Esteban 5/10

listen, i love him ok but ...

he looks like he would whimper and call me mommy and unfortunately I dont have a mommy kink love the whimpering tho

he'd be gentle with me but I'm afraid he'd like to be degraded and shit

fucking adorable wth

tall

-Lando 3/10

he looks too baby for me

he's funny tho

just not my type ig

I feel like we'd be besties

-Sergio -10/10

no.

he's not exactly around in my dr but ig I should include hi

cheater, doesn't seem to like women, would not find it, doesn't care if you finished, would pull the condom out without your consent...

-Oscar 7/10

cute, adorable, baby

unlike esteban I think he'd not be so baby in bed...

would treat you like his bestie and partner in crime

would ask you to play a game with him after you're done

-Jensen 8/10

dilf

I dont know enough about him to have an opinion

he in general looks nice

gives off husband vibes and I love that

would like cuddling

-Nico Hulkenberg 4/10

looks like the type to make you laugh so hard you dont even notice your clothes are off

silly, goofy mood

he's weirdly attractive idk

like, hes just a white guy with blue eyes but there's something I cant exactly point out

-Nico Rosberg 3/10

not really my type

would do casual but also treat you like his partner

i think with some effort he'd make a nice husband tho

hes nice and has a good talk but not really my thing yk

-Mark 7,6/10

just look at him

would treat you so good you almost put a ring on his finger

uughh... idkkkk I enjoy looking at him

and he feels like the type to simp soo harrdd for you and I have a thing for being appreciated by ppl

tall

-Kevin 3/10

I'm not really into him... not my type

doesn't seem to have sex that much

so I think he'd be casual even in a relationship, like

he likes the daily intimacy yk so he'd be intense

-Pierre 4?/10

I had to include him 'cause hes there but

idk, I saw somewhere that he's racist but idk what he said so... I'm not sure

boyfriend vibes, nice aftercare and has a good talk

I think he'd be the type to have random walks to get food even if your legs are still shaking yk

[astraystayyh]

SAHAR HIIIII!!

how are youuu?? i hope you’re having an amazing day/night because u only deserve the best😤🫶

OMG DID YOU SEE JISUNG’S LIVE?!?! our quokka is too pretty for my heart😖💔

i’ve got a more serious question tho, so- bear with me pls 🫶

i’m turning 18 next week and i won’t lie, i’m really really scared bc i feel like so many things (responsibilities, my drivers license, stuff like that) come with it and i do feel kind of excited? (mainly because i can finally get tattoos and piercings🤭) but also not? and idk why but it’s a bit overwhelming😅 do you have any advice for me for that?? if not it’s totally fine of course!! no pressure <33

ALSO HAPPY HYUNE MONTH (us pisces gotta unite hehe🤭🤝)

love uuu!! and remember to take care of yourself, eat and drink enough!! and i don’t know if you need to hear it but you are so so so so talented and amazing!!🫶🫶

HIII MY LOVE 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 u are so cute thank you i hope you are having a goood day/night as well <33 AND YES I DID i need all the scissors in the world to actually disappear u dont get it 😭😭😭😭😭😭

eeeee i think i missed ur birthday so first HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!!! i hope you enjoyed ur day 💖💖💖

and second,,, i do completely understand what u mean, when i turned 18 i was so excited for all the things i can now legally do as an adult but i also very nervous because 18 is THE age that everyone tells you about. tbh i am now 21 and i still don’t feel my age and i probably won’t feel 21 till i turn 22 aksjsjsn,,, this reminds me of a quote about birthdays that brought me a lot of comfort,, basically saying that when you become eighteen you’re still seventeen and sixteen and fifteen… you don’t bury your seventeen self as soon as midnight strikes, you rather grow into your past selves like the rings of a tree. so there are days where you will feel eighteen and an adult etc etc and days where you will feel fourteen and in need of reassurance,, and that’s okay!!!

my advice to you would be to stay kind to yourself throughout all of it. you will learn and grow a lot during these next years, and my twenties have been the most challenging but also most rewarding years of my life, as im sure they will bring you a lot of lessons. so don’t forget to remain gentle to urself and to take care of urself as you learn and grow,, as long as you love yourself then no matter what age you are, you will be okay

i hope these years bring you a lot of joy and happiness baby!!!!! here is the quote i told you about

[midnightmisadventures]

So this time we’re on our way home, i see he doesnt have any gas, so i say “you can stop here for gas” he pulls into the station and its dystopia city lol. Theres homeless people with broken limbs begging for help. Theres.....scary shit. So he goes ya know lets just get out of here.

So we’re driving and he’s being such a bad driver, constantly almost crashing. But we’re laughing about it. Then we’re holding hands, flirting, flirting. Massaging eachothers hands, being such a couple.  

And then he pulls my hand up to his mouth and i think he’s gonna kiss it. But instead he takes my two fingers (pointer and middle) and puts them in his mouth. And now its like.....hot. 

Like when i tell you i was turned on I WAS. So im playing into it, basically fingering his mouth. This is so graphic, but i can feel myself getting wet. He’s still driving but the sexual tension is building. Then he SLAMS into the break sort of. Pulls over. Idk if we home but i didnt care. He’s like...ready to fuck. So he stops the car. Pushes the seat all the way back and lowers it, and i get on top of him soooo ready lmao. I also still know this is a dream, so i dont have any nerves im just excited. Btw im wearing my yellow dress i wore to lias party. 

Anyway, now im on top of him, and i go in and kiss him but then notice. THeres puke everywhere. Like puke and drool coming out of his mouth, puke on his shirt, puke on the dash. And im confused?? And im like “uhh maybe like wipe your mouth or spit into something first” and im trying to look around for a napkin and not make him feel too embarrassed bc ew i just kissed his wet puke lips. 

THEN, the cops....or the town orderlies idk dystopia. Knocks on his window like get out whats going on, we need to search him. SO i quickly get off his lap lol back into the passenger. And the cops are like “what the fuck is going on” they didnt have any specific reason....idk it was confusing. So we were both changed out of our “school” uniform. And i think mark starts explaining to the guy that we’re on our way back from school. And hes like “yea i need proof of your uniform. preforably a clean one” so he’s looking and then the cops start searching his car and filing a report. And for some reason i was so confused as to where the puke came from and when it got there. 

So i was like “i dont understand was that ur puke” and he was like “yea it was me, i slammed on the breaks and boom threw up” and then i realize and am like “OH NO was it my fingers, did i gag you omg im so sorry” also being kinda cute about it. Like babe was it my sexy fingers teasing you?? And hes into it he’s like NO don’t apologize. Your fingers did nothing wrong, i wouldnt take that back, like i’d throw up 10 more times if it meant we got to be hot and tease eachother. So its kind of a cute funny moment, and i did like him, and i did want to kiss him more. But i just started looking around lol. The cops were here, we werent home yet. We had dystopian highschool again tomorrow lmao. I was like, this isnt worth it. This is a dream i should just cut out. Cause this can only get scarier, and what if i get in a situation where im stuck or in a scream proof room. I should just get out while i know i can, i dont feel like dealing with the authority in this dream world. 

So i leave marks side, go behind the car, and scream my lungs out. Literally it took all my might, i was worried it wouldnt work. Then i ended up in the “fake wake up” dream. And then i actually woke up.

Wasnt that a weird dream?

[pistacchio-icecream]

Ive been thinking about this now but like, people really dont care about you lmao

Or well, worded better, people dont care about anything that annoys them, and if something happens where you annoy people, you get attacked, basically.

It doesnt have to be anything complex either but like:

imagine you have special needs -> people has to do something to help you? -> people get annoyed and angry at you (or they attack you for asking)

or imagine a business asks you to do more things than before (like, having to go to a place to buy something) -> people has to do something to get that (when they didnt have to before) -> people get annoyed and angry at you (so probably they wont buy that something)

or imagine you get hit by a car on an accident -> people interpret that as "you should have avoided it" or you being careless (even if you did everything right) -> people get annoyed and angry at you, so they attack you

And so on.

This includes people's choices, illnesses, situations in general, and even celebrity rumors (or people known on the internet in general).

If it affects the status quo, people will attack it. It doesnt have to be your fault or something dangerous at all, but seeing that there is a change, or something different from what they knew, is enough.

Thats why people victim blame too, they dont blame the perpetrator because they were acting in a way "people does already" (in a car accident, driving, for example), they attack the one who is doing something that isnt supposed to happen (getting injured, and because of that, causing an impact on the system -> ambulances, police, news). Its not until it is shown that the one who caused it was the perpetrator (the driver by being drunk, for example), that we recognize other possibilities: "oh, then it was the other person's fault" (because youre not supossed to be drunk while driving either) or things like that. Even in cases where no one is at fault at all, someone is the culprit, someone caused it, someone provoked it. And who it is, the one we attack, has to do with who we think is the troublemaker.

Repeat with me: If it affects the status quo, people will attack it.