#I really. cannot cope with this shit anymore

[haml3t]

Whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever

[doromoni]

Not Over the Papaya | OP81

⊹ ｡•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader

Genre : Fluff Smau

A/N : Here ya go peeps 🧡

Face claim : Jennie Kim

Warnings : Cursing, Grammatical Errors

Song : Love is Weird - Julia Michaels

Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

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Notification: you received a message from Charles

Y/N. close friends 4mins

*replies are disabled

*Incoming call from Y/bf

Pick up or Decline

Pick up

“Hi”

“Did you get to sleep at all yesterday?”

“A little bit.”

“Oh honey, I wished I was there with you”

“I wish you were here too Y/bf.”

“At least try to have power naps today alright?”

“Ok”

“Do you want some good news?”

“hmm, sure”

“your EP is in number 1”

“Yeah… yey”

“Y/N…. I’m really sorry for what’s happening. Neither you nor Osc deserves this”

“I know… hey Y/bf, I kinda tired. Call you later? ”

“Okay.”

call ended

*your message was sent successfully

mclaren

liked by user1, user2 and others

mclaren Lan 🤝 Osc . United and ready for Quali!

Ln4 LETS GO!!

user1 I could sense a PR cover up when I see one 🙂

user2 Admins are really trying to cover up what Lando did yesterday…

user3 Ok let’s all pretend that they dont want to kill each other

user4 Oscar is acting the shit out of that smile.

user5 I’m sorry Mclaren, I love you… but covering up what Lando did is just a no no

user6 United? really??

user7 Can’t hear you… Until ur Dead EP is playing on Max volume

*Calling Osc 🧡

*Ringing

*Ringing

*Ringing

*The number you have dialed cannot be reach, please try again later

*Would you like to leave a voicemail?

“Good luck with Quali, Luv.”

“I love you Osc”

*incoming call from Osc🧡

Pick up or Decline

Pick up

“Oscar! I’m so glad you called…”

“I’m sorry for not coming back to our room sooner. I just needed time to think alone. “

“I won’t lie Osc, you scared me shitless. but I completely understand. I- uhm … uh. Did you get my voicemails? ”

“ Yes… but I didn’t open it, I’m sorry. I wanted to talk to you in person … about everything, about us— I- haven’t opened any of my socials because i wanted to hear from you first.

“Oh… thats probably the smartest thing to do. Osc I’m really sorry for dragging you into this.”

“I know you are Y/N. I uhm — I really need to know something right now. It’s driving me crazy”

“Yes of course. whatever you like Osc. ”

“Was the photo real?”

“Yes. but it was from years before”

“Do you still love him?”

“No. I don’t love Lando. Not anymore”

“Y/N… I-. Look I love you so much Y/N and I love what we have right now.”

“Oscar… You’re scaring me.”

“I don’t think I can do this anymore”

Series Taglist : @champagneproblems17 @itsjustfranzi @cheriwritesig @forza-charles @awritingtree @sltwins @gr1mes-cc @hwalllllllelujah @btsfluffsworld @tillyt04 @landotd @booksandflowrs @czennieszn @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @tellybearryyyy @wobblymug @alittlechaotics-blog @bingussthirdtoe @mirrorball-6 @demandealalune @heartsforleclerc @yoongi-holland @maneskin-slave @alenix @forensicheart @bloodyymaryyy @stereading @hahahjej @youre-on-your-ownkid : closed

Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn @gr3yhues : closed for now

[mamawasatesttube]

ok i put a longer post abt tim's Emotional State in drafts for when my brain is less melted but re: tim and going to college im just gonna get a lil silly with it. hear me out.

i have this whole vague story in my mind for tim's college days moonlighting as red robin as he tries and figures out what he wants out of life. (it's a while after rr leaves off and all because he's like. Super Depressed for a hot minute and then has to drag himself through actually bothering to get his GED and applying to college, etc., but eventually lucius is like hey. you're great with gadgets, and you clearly love tinkering. i'd hire you for r&d in a heartbeat but you need at the least a bachelor's of engineering. i know you have a lot of the technical skills, but you need a degree. so tim goes ugh fine i'll get a goddamn engineering degree how hard can it possibly be.)

anyways. i think it's a universal experience that if you go to college and you hang with the STEM crowd, you will unfortunately get to know at least one Fucking Guy. it's like brentwood arc; tim does make friends, but there is just this One Fucking Guy he cannot stand and will never stand. this Fucking Guy is in the common room playing his guitar at midnight. he's drunk and yelling and laughing really loud when people have exams coming up. he's convinced everyone adores him. there's also a detective/supernatural plot going on. the subplot is just that tim hates This Fucking Guy.

at some point, there's a story beat where he as red robin has to rescue That Fucking Guy from a real dicey situation, and That Fucking Guy is really shaken and grateful to him, and he's like okay. maybe. maybe we are making progress. but then the next time he encounters This Fucking Guy as tim drake, the guy is just like. "ohhhh hey drake you missed it last night, it was AWESOME!!! i had to save red robin from a KILLER ROBOT. he's pretty cool though i guess. i bet you wish you could be more like him huh??" and tim is just. I Will Not Grind My Teeth About This. I Will Not. his life is a fucking joke. he dismantles the toaster oven in the common room kitchen to cope. it's definitely to cope and not just so that That Fucking Guy won't be able to heat up his pop tarts in the morning.

at another point, This Fucking Guy looks at street mode, lowkey, unremarkable Normal Car-looking redbird and goes, aw, dude, i thought your dad is loaded?? he only got you a generic-ass sedan?? that sucks lol, if you want we can take my car down to the game instead. and tim is just Say One More Fucking Word About My Baby I Dare You I Fucking Dare You One More Fucking Word.

(also i like to toy with the idea of this being a university in metropolis - he's out of gotham, but not too far. keeps him from getting antsy about what if he's needed because he can get right back over there. and in the meantime, he can hang out with kon and kara a lot, and occasionally enable and be enabled by lois lane and her snooping habits. there's another subplot in which tim and lois get up to shenanigans. at least once.)

it's sort of an introspective thing of him trying to come to terms with the way he no longer wants a fully normal life the way he always used to assume he would - he has the option to walk away from the cape now, like he always thought he would one day, but he just can't give it up anymore. he's fallen into the same black hole he watched dick and bruce dive headlong into. it's also about him finding joy in tinkering and working with his hands and getting to spend more time as tim drake first and foremost. and it's about him venting to kon about That Fucking Guy while they have a lil picnic on the green while kon loses his absolute shit laughing. all against the backdrop of a little mystery or something. <3

OH and also, most importantly. zoanne wilkins is there and laughing at him for assuming college would be easy. and kon gets her into wendy the werewolf stalker. My City Now.

[warblogs17282]

Blitz and Stolas, and their coping mechanisms. A breakdown of the matter.

Just so we're clear, I am not saying who has the worst coping mechanisms out of the two in the post, I think they both have pretty bad coping mechanisms for different reasons.

Blitz - Present Day.

The ice cream binges:

I wasn't really going to think all that much about this, but this line from ghostfuckers caught my attention. I am willing to admit that Blitz is likely being hyperbolic here by a bit with this statement, but the fact he said this at all points to that it's starting to become an unhealthy coping mechanism for Blitz, and considering it's been a month since Apology Tour, just how much ice cream and cheese has Blitz consumed by this point? Relatively minor thing all things considered, but it's definitely something to keep in mind.

Plus, this isn't even the first time that Blitz has employed this coping mechanism, we see it in s1 e8, right after the disaster that was Ozzie's. I wouldn't call him doing this in s1 e8 'unhealthy' exactly, but I'm just showing this to show that this isn't a new thing for Blitz.

Buying expensive stuff/Poor financial decisions:

Well this purchase wasn't a coping mechanism and more so just Blitz making questionable financial decisions. "And he paid in advance, and I spent it all on this…", I don't know exactly how much an assassination costs exactly, but from the looks of things, it costed a pretty penny. With this giving us our first hint into Blitz likely impulse buying and making questionable financial decisions. (it does look cool af though)

And then ghostfuckers just amps that shit up to ten. Blitz is now 100% buying stuff as a coping mechanism, and it's 100% an unhealthy one as well at this point, because it's putting IMP in a bad spot financial wise.

But for a quick list of what Blitz has purchased since Apology Tour:

300 taxidermy owls.

However many horse plates there are in this box.

The ghostfucker ghostsucker device, costing a couple thousand.

The reason why I call all of this an unhealthy coping mechanism at this point is because Blitz straight up cannot afford to keep making purchases like these anymore, because there's multiple letters saying things like 'Final Notice', Blitz is now draining their pensions to buy things, IMP could be at risk of defaulting if Moxxie is to be believed at his word, and Millie hasn't been paid in a month.

Sex:

Just a brief one here as there's not really much for me to comment on regarding this, but ghostfuckers told us that one of the things Blitz does to cope when he feels unwanted/unloved, is look for sex or just consume sexual media.

And well, that's making me think back to his relationship with Stolas a little. Do you think that Blitz could've been using his nights with Stolas as a way to help himself cope a little? Because at minimum, Stolas unintentionally fed into this coping mechanism of Blitz's.

Blitz - The Past.

Drugs:

In Truth Seekers, Blitz admits to doing a fuck ton of tranquilizers in college, although this is never expanded upon, so this could potentially have been a coping mechanism for Blitz at one point in his life but we can't be sure of that.

Alcohol:

Blitz in the past has had quite the history of alcohol usage, and I mainly say this because of a few lines of dialogue in s1 e8, those being "He-hey, I knew it was you! Fuck, man, where you been? You here for the party?" and "Come in and show us all up again.", with both of these lines implying that Blitz used to be a regular at Beelzebub's parties, and that Blitz probably drank quite heavily at those parties as well, based off the 'show us all up again' line. Which could also potentially point us to Blitz using the parties and it's alcohol as a coping mechanism, but again, while it is very plausible, I cannot fully confirm this at this time.

Also, something else I want to mention is that addiction tends to run in the family, as we know, Cash was a likely alcoholic, considering we see him drink a bottle in some other tent before Stolas' butler walks in, and there's the line "Remember how you used to distract my dad so I could steal his booze?".

Barbie Wire used to be addicted to this drug named 'H-8' at some point, and also went to rehab over it at some point as well.

And it's also worth mentioning that Verosika is also an alcoholic, who also went to rehab over it, but eventually got let out because of her celebrity status or something like that.

Stolas.

Before I get started with this one I encourage you to read this post I made on this subject before, which goes into quite a lot of detail regarding it all.

The likely abuse of his happy pills:

The start of s2 e1 firmly establishes that Stolas' dosage of these pills are two pills.

But when we skip to when Stolas wakes up later in the episode, we see that Stolas has just haphazardly got the pills out of the bottle and he grabs three of the pills, which points to Stolas either intentionally taking more than the dosage he should be taking, or that he just grabs a random amount of the happy pills sometimes. Both of which could point to that Stolas is abusing the happy pills, and potentially that it's one of his coping mechanisms as well.

Plus, there's the fact that Stolas runs out of the happy pills in s2 e8, which again, could also potentially suggest that Stolas is abusing the happy pills as a coping mechanism, but at the same time he could've just forgotten to get a refill so.

Alcohol:

We know Stolas uses alcohol quite heavily to cope with difficult situations, and I'm pretty sure that Stolas is also an alcoholic, but we've seen three examples of Stolas relying on alcohol throughout the show so far:

Chugging a bottle of that strong shit at Stella's party,

Quite possibly getting blackout drunk at home after the mess that was Ozzie's, on the exact same strong shit,

and Stolas starts to chug yet another bottle of alcohol, very shortly after he got pressured to singing about Blitz, and that Blitz is right here at the party, talking with him, when Stolas' emotions are still very raw for Stolas.

Plus, I'm pretty sure that Bryce said something along the lines of this at a panel once, that Stolas does indeed have a problem with alcohol. (If someone has the exact quote please let me know.)

[notroosterbradshaw]

slow dancing in a burning room - prologue

about: it was so easy to fall in all-consuming love with Bradley Bradshaw... but it was another thing to stay in it. 

word count: >1k (we’re just easing it in, friends)

part of: The Boyfriend Experience universe

warnings: nsfw 18+, language, angst (I cannot stress this enough, this isn’t the usually fluffy goodness of this universe), smut, fluff.

masterlist.

six weeks earlier.

“Well, I guess I’m gonna take off,” Bradley raised himself to his feet and flexed to stretch his aching back. It had been such a long night, he couldn’t believe it ended like this. You didn’t stand… you didn’t have the strength in your legs and were trapped by the boxes that were supposed to be moving into Bradley’s tomorrow.

Today. Goddammit.

It was nearly 3am. The removals company was due at 9am. How the fuck were you going to cancel them now? You couldn’t wait to greet sweaty, stinky removalists and tell them you weren’t going anywhere. And duly pay them for the service. “I’m sorry, Bradley,” you told him again and he swore to himself if you told him again how sorry you were, he was going to detonate.

He muttered your name, his voice raspy with exhaustion. “Please stop saying that… It honestly means shit to me right now,” he went over to the bench and collected his keys and phone, pocketing them, ignoring the notifications. “Can you just put my stuff in a box, I’ll grab it when you’re at work or something?” he suggested, chewing the inside of his lip to blood, cutting it open – he reckoned he’d chewed the inside of his cheek to blisters hours ago.

“Sure,” you said quietly.

“All right,” he sighed, rubbing his tired, stinging eyes. “Just know... I never wanted to disappoint you, love.”

“I know. I didn’t want to disappoint you either,” you said softly. But you’d been pushed to a limit you couldn’t cope with. And you’d been explicit on it since the beginning. It was your dealbreaker. Moving to your feet and dancing around boxes to him, you stood close enough to clutch his shirt in your fists.

“Are you really sure this is what you want?” he asked sadly, holding your hips rough, in a desperate last-ditch effort to get you to change your mind. He couldn’t let you escape his grasp this time. He needed you to look into his eyes and tell him explicitly. Spell it out. “How can I make you change your mind? Please, I’ll give you space and anything else you need… just don’t end this,” he pleaded desperately. “You can’t just end this, this – we’re are too good.”

“I didn’t end it, Bradley,” you told him stoically.

His eyes searched yours, but he knew his heart of hearts that he didn’t either. “Can we just try and start again or something?” He was embarrassed at the straw he was clutching at to try and keep you, but he knew he’d lost. You’d checked out.

“It won’t change anything,” you said, reaching to grasp his bearded cheek, and a lone tear slipped from you again and you’d cried so much tonight. And he swore he was doing everything in his power not to break down, get on his knees and plead you didn’t ruin the best thing that ever happened to him. But he had to keep some pride. He’d lost so much in his life. His father, his mother, his only other family in Maverick. He almost lost his life. But you, his sweet girl, his love. You were his everything and now he was losing that too.

His thumb swept the tear away but couldn’t stop the flood that followed, and he held you as you wept into his shirt. He cooed soft nothings into your hair, telling you he loved you, that he wouldn’t know what to do without you until you slipped out of his arms and stood before him, your loneliness overwhelmed him. All the strength from earlier had dissipated and standing was about the only action you could see through while you told him that his job was too much of a risk for you and that simply couldn’t be together anymore. You thought you’d lost him and while you knew he was good at what he did, learning about his crash had changed everything and he had been willing to risk that.

“Well, I guess that’s that,” he sighed, letting you go. He pressed a kiss into your forehead and silently moved towards the door, aching for you. Heading towards the hallway, he didn’t mutter a goodbye as he left your apartment for good but his heart screamed for you to mutter his name, just one last grasp of hope.

When it didn’t come, he closed the door quietly after him.

You collapsed on the couch, just... done. Your eyes were like sandpaper and your skin was stinging, the tears that had freely flowed irritating your cheeks and down your throat and chest. You wouldn’t be able to look in the mirror tomorrow… you probably wouldn’t recognise whom you saw anyway. 

How had something so good fallen apart so terribly?

Pulling a cushion to your chest, you couldn’t fathom answering any of the questions that swarmed your brain, the pounding was so loud that no painkillers could help you. You tossed the lone cushion across the room and pushed past taped-up boxes of your belongings to get a glass of water. Your whole body was dehydrated.

“Fuck,” you drawled, kitchen items (including glasses) packed by Bradley and you had no idea where he had put them. Sighing, you figured no time like the present to unpack your life again even as the adrenaline of the last 12 hours waned through you… sleep would not easily come any time soon and with tears in your eyes, you started to undo it all again.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

one.

A/N: the tag list no longer exists. To keep up to date, give @notroosterbradshaw-library a follow x

[adarkermiserablecrow]

Okay I've been awake for going on 36 hours and I tried to make this post last week but here we go

The lake, right. Season 7B made really damn sure we know the lake meant a lot to Shannon and Eddie. It's where they met, it was important to them. We are also told, explicitly, that Christopher loves the lake, and his grandparents took him there presumably within days of returning to El Paso.

The whole of this plot hinges on grief. Grief surrounding Shannon, the different ways Eddie and Chris have or haven't processed it. Eddie's approach in particular (though I maintain it wasn't really his fault) ends with Chris running to El Paso, to his grandparents, probably expecting to find comfort there, in the last place he truly had his mom, and far away from his dad who he's mad at.

But. But. 8x01 mentioned something that has lived in my mind rent free ever since. Helena and Ramon are taking Christopher to pool club, and thinking of installing their own pool for him, planning for the future. And as relates to the lake, you can argue they're trying to keep a substitute available, or that they are trying to foster Chris's love for the water that Eddie made sure survived the tsunami. We don't know for sure that they don't take him to the lake anymore, only that it has not been mentioned at all.

But symbolically, to me, it feels so much like erasure. A severing of this important link between Christopher and Shannon and, to some extent, Christopher and Eddie. That lake stands as a symbol and a relic of the time when Eddie and Shannon had been uncomplicated, young and happy, and, I cannot emphasise this enough, the show has connected it to Shannon. Eddie took Kim to the lake, for crying out loud!

And, I'm glad I didn't make this post last week because 8x02 gave me more brainrot on the matter. Because holy shit. Here's a falling plane, a desperate situation, and a father and his son who are grieving the mother. The father lets his son go, unsure of if or when the kid will come back, because the plane is falling, and only tells him 'I love you.' They were headed to Hawai'i because they were doing things the mother enjoyed to celebrate her birthday. I can't be the only one who reads Eddie and Chris into the whole of this, or at least a version of Eddie and Chris where they coped differently, or lost Shannon in, for lack of a better term, better circumstances.

And I wonder if Eddie will get to witness this father and son next episode, if this is what finally sets the stone rolling on fixing things with Chris, on finally moving forward, on finally celebrating Shannon.

And if the aforementioned erasure of the lake will move things along on Christopher's side, make him see both his parents and his grandparents differently.

This is (probably obviously) lead-up for an Eddie arc later in the season, and the opening of the path to moving forward, and I honestly think it's all going to come back to 'we do things she loved together to celebrate her' and that goddamned lake.

[atopvisenyashill]

I don't know if you can talk about Aerea and Rhaena, their whole relationship is horrible, but a lot of the fandom tends to label her as a simple bad mother and not see beyond that.

I find their relationship very tragic largely because I think under normal circumstances, Rhaena would have been a very loving and present mother. I also think "well she's a bad mother" is very disingenous framing. For the first several years of her life As A Mom, she and her daughter are being held hostage by her insane uncle. Then, she spends the next several years trying to cope with the fact that she was maritally raped, her brother-husband was murdered, any and all power she has is derived completely from how her younger brother is feeling on that day, oh and, ya know, being a LESBIAN IN A MEDIEVAL ESQUE PERIOD. cannot stress enough that Rhaena has a lot of shit going on that impacts her ability to take care of herself let alone take care of a child. And none of that is Aerea's fault - again, Aerea's childhood is spent in an unstable, sexually abusive home where her mother is being maritally raped by the man who murdered her father, she has no freedom to decide where she wants to go because she's a hostage while simultaneously being heir to the throne, and then she's just unceremoniously sent to Dragonstone because her mother decides it must be so.

And I think Rhaena really tries to make things better for Aerea! She encourages Aerea to claim a dragon, she clearly tries to set up a sort of court on Dragonstone, but she doesn't even know her daughter much less understand what would make her happy. They've been separated for years! Rhaena herself clearly wants a break from court to just be left alone to live her life, but Aerea has spent so long being shuffled around, being a hostage, (perhaps even training as a Septa...), that of course she doesn't want to sit still. Then Rhaena gets divorced and Aerea's stepmom leaves, and there's no other children to play with, and the ladies Rhaena keeps don't know how to care for a child nor are they interested in learning.

This is an unbelievably tense and unstable first decade or so of her life! There's just very few scenarios where these two have a healthy, stable relationship due to the incredibly instability they're in the middle of. I always go back to Rhaenys at points like this - Rhaenys who claimed a grown dragon at 16, Rhaenys who taunted her husband that she'd get to the end of the world first because she'd be flying, Rhaenys who is probably the most well adjusted Targaryen we have information on. Rhaenys has a father who likely encouraged her ~headstrong ways~ and a mother who supported and loved her. Rhaenys who had cousins to play with as she learned how to socialize with others, Rhaenys who had a grandmother to teach her. Rhaenys had a stable environment to grow up in. Rhaenys had an education befitting an heiress. If Aerea had lived in a normal (ish) environment where she has two parents, aunts and uncles, cousins all around, a dragon she's allowed to claim, status that is protected by her mother and father's own status...it would be night and day! And if Rhaena had a spouse she trusted, mentors and advisors who had even a lick of sense, a brother more interested in her happiness and less interested in completely upending her claim to protect his own...again, think of Rhaenys has a mother! Think of Laena claiming a dragon before she's 12!

Rhaena isn't ~a bad mother~ anymore than Aerea is ~a bad child~ they are simply two people who lived through stressful, traumatic situations and reacted imperfectly to those situations. They had no real support system. They moved around constantly. This was never going to end well for either of them and it's not really either of their faults.

[newestq]

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ p1h jealous headcannon, requested

ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ lowercase intended, send in your requests

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

୨ yoon keeho, ୧

ꕥ ignores you 'cause oh boy don't know how to cope.

ꕥ you try to get his attention, but he doesn't even bat and eyelash towards you.

ꕥ he's trying to distract himself but finding anything to do in the kitchen.

ꕥ "fine, be that way. i'm going hang out with intak.

ꕥ "yeah, bet you'd rather hang out with him, huh?"

ꕥ you're both kind of shocked at what he said.

ꕥ "what's your problem?"

ꕥ "what's my problem? you've been attached to intak's hip all day!"

ꕥ "i played a video game with him and that made you jealous?"

ꕥ "i'm not jealous!"

ꕥ jiung eventually joins the conversation, and you both make fun of him as he tries to prove his point.

୨ choi taeyang, ୧ (gender specific.)

ꕥ classic "jealous? me? no."

ꕥ but oh yes he's jealous.

ꕥ he doesn't think it's fair that as a girl barista, guys should be able to order from you.

ꕥ call him toxic and he might agree.

ꕥ rolls his eyes every time a guy walks up to the counter.

ꕥ it's genuinely so bad.

ꕥ you've kind of noticed his sour mood, so on your break, you walk over to him.

ꕥ "what's up?"

ꕥ "what's up? so i'm your bro now?"

ꕥ "my what?"

ꕥ "nah, it's fine man. go with your other boyfriends."

ꕥ you find him humorous.

ꕥ "see you tonight, babe."

ꕥ "nope! you won't see me! i'm leaving you!"

ꕥ yeah, y'all watched frozen while eating chocolate covered strawberries.

ꕥ he ain't leaving you that easy lmao

୨ choi jiung, ୧

ꕥ the type to feel guilty that he feels jealous.

ꕥ he doesn't mean to, and he immediately apologizes.

ꕥ "baby, i'm sorry. i promise i'm not overprotective."

ꕥ "literally wtf are you talking about?"

ꕥ "when you laughed at taeyang's joke, i got so mad. idek why."

ꕥ "his jokes are funnier than yours."

ꕥ "you know im not sorry anymore."

ꕥ you give him more and more reasons to not feel guilty.

୨ hwang intak, ୧

ꕥ clingy.

ꕥ will literally not let you go/leave his sight.

ꕥ not even to use the bathroom.

ꕥ best believe mf is sitting on the sink, scrolling through his phone.

ꕥ "intak. i know you're not happy because that girl flirted with me, but can i please shit in peace."

ꕥ "no. what if she finds you and takes you from me."

ꕥ "intak please let me use the bathroom alone. we're at home."

ꕥ "she might've followed us. i won't look. see."

ꕥ he faces away from you and scrolls through tik tok.

ꕥ you kind of wish he'd be the type to ignore you 💀

୨ haku shota, ୧

ꕥ doesnt really get jealous.

ꕥ he trusts you, and you trust him, so thats enough.

ꕥ and he doesn't really think anyone is cool enough to catch your attention.

ꕥ i mean, what other minecraft pro do you know?

ꕥ what other awesome freestyle dancer do you know?

ꕥ who do you know that loves fries as much as you??

ꕥ exactly.

ꕥ you wish he would get jealous.

ꕥ "someone just asked me for my phone number."

ꕥ "y/n, you signed up for updates for the store. of course the cashier needed your number."

ꕥ "shota please get jealous once."

୨ kim jongseob, ୧

ꕥ wouldnt even realize he's jealous

ꕥ he'd just have this strong feeling towards you and he'd just accept it.

ꕥ like wouldnt even know whats going on.

ꕥ he's probably go to the members freaking out.

ꕥ "idk why i feel this way, like just thinking abt them hanging out with their best friend makes me upset. why!! thats their best friend, i dont have a say on who they can or cannot hang out with, but my god does it piss me off when they do."

ꕥ "seobie, that my friend is jealousy."

ꕥ "jealousy? how do you know?"

ꕥ "cause i feel it every time jiung gets center."

ꕥ "intak..."

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

i wrote this at 10:18pm....

[totoanime52]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE FINALE OF MY HERO ACADEMIA (LONG, SO BE PREPARED)

So the manga has finally (unofficially) come to an end. With the release of 430's leaks we see how the young heroes have grown over eight years in a timeskip. I'll give my thoughts on the final chapter here before I give my overall thoughts on the series in another post.

First and foremost, I was actually quite happy to see that Horikoshi didn't push pairings into the mix and kept the focus on the characters doing their hero work. As I mentioned on a previous post, I don't like how frequent it is that a series makes the entire last chapter of their story basically dedicated to making sure certain pairings are canon (usually by introducing us to their kids in their own little stories) rather than devoting it to the themes or characters of the world they crafted for years. I often feel like they could have spent more time focusing on an issue or expanding characters more. An example is Naruto: I wanted the last chapter of Naruto to be about our boy's inauguration as Hokage, since that is what the series was pretty much building up to. I would have cried to see Naruto finally take up the mantle of Hokage after seeing how far he has come. Instead, we are pretty much preparing for Boruto's sequel story by being introduced to all the kids and setting up their stories (and you can't imagine my anger when I later found out Naruto canonically missed his inauguration for the sake of a damn joke). Here, we actually focus on how Midoriya is coping with being Quirkless again while still trying to encourage others to follow their own dreams, as well as how the other characters are working in this world. Seeing how Midoriya had originally taken the role of a teacher at UA in this chapter even though he did lose OFA eventually was kind of sweet, especially seeing how some students still admired him (including a now UA student Kota!!). I know that isn't where his story ends, but I'll get to that part in a bit.

We also see how Uraraka is focusing her efforts on changing Quirk counseling to focus more on helping those with different mental states rather than trying to make them conform to 'normality.' Even though I am still not happy with Toga's death, at least Uraraka is trying to make sure that at least one of the major sources of pain in Toga's life cannot harm another child like it did to her.

The fact that the ranking system is still around eight years later is maddening. When it mentioned how Dynamight yelling at a civilian for pushing a camera into his face will cause his rank to drop, I thought three things: 1. Who should give a shit about the rankings anymore?; 2. I wouldn't be happy if someone pushed a camera in my face while I'm working, especially if it involves something that requires focus and can be dangerous; 3. This is Dynamight, they should know his personailty by now so what did they expect to happen? I know Keigo is trying, but as long as that system is in place, it will still make the whole hero career in general more of a competitive popularity contest than a collaborative function.

Finally, we see how Izuku's story reaches it's end, at least on paper: All Might gives him his old hero costume case from school (with 18 right on the front) and tells him that Bakugou and the others from class A (note: it still feels weird not saying 1A anymore) have pooled money in over the past eight years to fund the creation of support items for Izuku so he can officially take up the mantle of the hero Deku again. This time, we see Bakugou hold his hand out to Izuku; turns out he really did mean it when he said he wanted them to keep competing with each other for the rest of their lives (*coughtsunderecough*). As Deku once again adorns his hero suit, he sees what looks like a ghost of Shigaraki Tomura watching him. The last panel of the manga shows the present day Class A students, now officially heroes.

I do like how Izuku remains Quirkless in the end. Despite him now having the means to pick his hero career back up, it doesn't change the fact that One For All is still gone forever. There was no miraculous reawakening of it or anything, but a work-around was found with the use of support items. Deku is now a Quirkless Hero, so perhaps this may help the rest of the 20% in the world that they can still chase their dreams. The fact that Class A dedicated eight years of funds to help Izuku keep his dream is also kind of heartwarming, especially when they were busy with their own lives and work, as well.

As for Shigaraki's ghost, I kind of have mixed feelings about that. I'm happy that Izuku still thinking about him after eight years. Maybe this is a way that Horikoshi is trying to say that his failure to save Shigaraki still haunts him and will continue to haunt him. Maybe it means that Shigaraki will keep watching Deku to see if he will be able to keep that spirit despite the failures behind him and the unknowns ahead of him (like a "Okay, Hero, let's see if you still have the ability to save others even after you couldn't save me" in that sarcastic way). I still wish there was a way that Tomura or any of the main villain trio could have been saved with how it was set up, so this little snippet of him still makes me sad to know that never happened.

Overall, the final chapter was better than I was expecting. While I still have issues with how Horikoshi chose to handle (or in the rankings case, NOT handle) some of the problems in the world of BNHA, I like how he kept the story on Izuku's dream of becoming a hero, something he was sure would never happen in the beginning and, near the end, would never happen again.

The fact that he kept their futures open to our interpretations in terms of where they will take their personal lives is quite nice to see, especially in regards to shipping. I feel like when official pairings are made, especially ones made last minute in stories like many shounen manga, most of the time it invites bragging, people putting others down, or just straight up fights in the fandom (it honestly scares me just how viscous some people can be over a fictional pairing). By keeping it open, at the very least it prevents some of the more extreme parts of the pairing fandom from claiming superiority over others. Anyway, sorry for the tangent at the end, but this is something that always irked me, especially in stories where romance wasn't a main theme.

Sidenote: seeing Eri growing up, smiling, and in a music club with her friends is the most beautiful thing. She's come so far and it's so cute how music became a passion for her after it was the catalyst for giving her back her smile.

[sirenium]

I've been debating whether or not I should go public with this, but I don't feel comfortable calling myself anti radqueer anymore. I've spent time listening to RQs, and though there are definitely cases of 'yeah that person is fucked' a lot of them are just people trying to cope with the deck of cards they were given. So this is a RQ safe space, even if my older posts don't reflect that. I'm RQ neutral and pro transID. I never really cared about people earnestly being transID, but let my discomfort with 'transautistic' etc folks get the best of me... that changes now. I say this as someone who's """cis""" autistic, someone who has BIID, someone who is supposedly affected by RQ ideals. I know even being neutral on the subject will get me shit, but I would rather be honest. I'd rather get the mass unfollowing over with. Because how someone's atypical dysphoria manifests isn't my business, nor is somebody's coping mechanism. It's nobody's business but theirs, and something I see in anti spaces is just... a complete lack of understanding of that. I see some real gross shit from antis, all in the name of 'morality,' and it's something that I cannot align with anymore.

If you've read this far, and are considering unfollowing, I wish you the best. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, nor beg you to stay within my presence if it makes you uncomfortable. If you're an anti, and want to stick around, that's fine too; rest assured that this blog isn't going to be radqueer centered. However: anyone who 'infiltrates' spaces, sends harassment, etc is NOT welcome here, I don't care which side you're on. Thanks.

[aachria]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH hi how are you!

I was rereading SSSBMTY for like the 10th time and Ive been dying to know that if Robin is really the only one who knows that Ed died somehow because bestie told her- but like did Robin take that seriously?? Did Robin hear “oh yeah I was the only one who died teehee” and took it in a “mental death” or a “physical death” way. If she took it in a mental perspective which I guess makes the most since does Robin realize the implications of Ed “dying” and somewhere in her head is super worried for Ed?

Some people in the story know about the “Buster Call” that TOTALLY (didn’t) happened but we’ve only really seen Robin, Zoro and Nami question it… I guess kinda Law with him comparing a Robin and Ed but not intense questioning. and now that Ed has done their screaming match with Kidd does Kidd and/or Killer have any suspicions of what they actually meant by being so connected to death???

AHHH ED YOUR KILLING ME NO PUN INTENDED?! I like death metaphors if you cannot tell- I want to squeeze you to get this information out.. is everyone just not questioning Ed’s weird background and possible death that they haven’t been super secret about?!?!

I wrote this while having a brain freeze bc of a smoothie

Reading SSSBMTY 10 times is crazy I hope you know that. I love you but I hope you know that.

When they're all on the Tower of Law Robin makes it clear she took it very metaphorical, like she interpreted that as Ed intentionally viewing the person they were before the 'Buster Call' as someone who was dead and gone and not who they were anymore. Honestly I think Robin took that and what Ed said after about them both belonging to the crew as Ed somehow just being better adjusted than her, which is fucking hilarious if you think about it.

I've always had the thought floating around that because Luffy got mad at Nami way back at the beginning when she tried to ask Ed about it she took that as 'no one ever ask Ed anything EVER' and has just instilled that idea whenever they get a new crewmate lmao. Like she sits them down and goes "Ok so Ed is weird and has terrible things in their past but Do Not Ask Questions if you think the dramatic violin music will start playing, ok?" even if that's Not the Case.

That isn't confirmed canon I'm just putting that out there. You gotta wait and see if I write that into the story lmao.

Tbh Zoro doesn't give a shit about whatever happened to Ed because he thinks they've got — if not a good handle on it — at least a decent ability to see help/comfort when they need to. His ass has seen them cope worse with things that actively happen around them then whatever was going on with the 'Buster call,' and is content to leave it alone unless Ed directly asks him for help. (Which is also very funny if you think about Ed's 'if you ask I will tell you EVERYTHING' policy.)

Now with Kid and Killer it's more so they have no idea what is up with this weird little guy but it seems like they've got some, uh, ISSUES with the people around them or they themselves being hurt/killed by someone with a dream and no regard for casualties. Wonder how that will develop if they hear about the 'Buster Call' thing or any other weird rumor they might have accidentally sent floating around.

Overall Ed speaks in weird backwards metaphors enough there's a chance no one has ever taken a single word they've said at face value, so.... yeah.

I hope your brain is ok xoxo

[respectthepetty]

Color analysis is your big thing around here. Have you always been into colors in shows and movies, or was this new for BL? What are some of your favorite examples of color use from some of your formative works?

@bengiyo, I would like to believe hysteria is my "big thing" but I can see how the colors label would come up every now and then regarding me. I've been seeing you and the smart people squad asking origin questions, so I appreciate the inquiry! However, you already know this is gonna be long, so . . .

Have you always been into colors in shows and movies, or was this new for BL?

When you read the following statements, you can't read them like a tragedy. You have to read them with an air of whimsy because this shit is funny.

My mom thought I was crazy when I was little. Like, thought I needed medication because I kept rambling about seeing patterns in colors. But this wasn't like Care Bears or Strawberry Shortcake kind of colors where each color aligns with a character and emotion. No, this was like I wouldn't eat foods of a certain color or foods served on plates of a certain color because there were good colors (blue, yellow, white), and bad colors (red, green, black), and I got this idea from movies and church. For example, the devil is bad. The devil is red. Therefore, red is bad. Death is bad. Death is black. Therefore, black is bad. Angels are good. They are white. Therefore, white is good.

As a less creepy religious example - If Heather Duke was green because she was envious of the devil aka red Heather Chandler

When Heather Chandler died and Heather Duke took her place as the new queen bee, Heather Duke would naturally start wearing red because she was the new devil, right? Made sense to me!

But my poor mother was stressed. She brought in all of the professionals, and although none of them truly understood what I was saying, they assured my mom I'd grow out of it.

LIES!

I kept seeing patterns, so I was tested when I started school and was promptly placed into the gifted program, where I was shown that green and red weren't necessarily bad. Like when Amélie wore green because her father forced her to live a calm and peaceful life since she was such a rambunctious child.

Only to start wearing more red as she rediscovered her passion for life.

So I remember that pattern of safety and peace versus passion and courage as I'm watching I Feel You Linger in the Air.

What are some of your favorite examples of color use from some of your formative works?

Since I've always noticed colors, nothing really stands out to me as my favorite since it all seems normal to me, so I'm going to flip your question - What was my least favorite example of color use:

The gay(er) one is red.

Remember that I associated red with negativity as a child, so it would really bother me to see the character who knew he was gay and couldn't hide it be colored as red as if he was the mischievous one.

As if the red character was a temptress leading the loyal blue character to hell.

However, using the (coping) mechanisms I learned in school and life, I now see why the characters who can't hide their queerness would have to be more bold, not just in personality, but in color as well.

Their queerness doesn't allow them to hide, and their color depicts this.

How you write about liking characters who "know," I like that the colors reinforce the "knowing."

So "the gay(er) one is red" doesn't bother me at all anymore. I now openly advocate on behalf of these Red Rascals and named them such because much like me telling countless counselors and doctors that the way I see the world comes naturally to me, I understand their refusal to fit into the norm to make others comfortable.

It isn't bad to stand out, mostly because we cannot hide who we are. How we are feels normal.

And the colors helped me see that.

[traumagenic-positivity]

We're rlly happy about this (and tbh it's kinda often that we're proud of things we do), so wanted to just share because :3 <long post moment>

I know we've certainly had pride when alters were developing, like figuring themselves out, and we're always proud of that progress we make individually. But this is slightly different, and was kinda necessary.

We'd been really REALLY dissociated for a while, like struggle to function at all dissociated. And there was fear, ik that much. Didn't know what to do to fix it, and was really hesitant or afraid or uncomfortable with some methods to ground for some reason? We weren't sure entirely bc soup brain, yk.

Turns out that, well, in retrospect, it makes sense why there was hesitation to ground at all or any other idea we had that was rejected (idr if it was smth else specifically ofc). A traumaholder was essentially STUCK, ig? Idk but ig that's why we were blurry and just completely out of it for so long (like at*least* two days /lh). And also why we wanted a specific alter to come out (who is associated with helping them bc past stuff) -,_-,

Well they managed to actually. Idk. OK I DONT KNOW HOW THEY DID IT, but I guess it's because the avoidance or barrier to pain was lowered, lessened, removed? Like we/they stopped blocking out and purposefully avoiding the pain we felt, the sad thoughts that suck. We usually try to let ourselves feel pain but ig we werent?? But they did it, felt the hurt, and I mean ig it's kinda grounding to feel what you feel? So they were def in front. They did what they wanted, needed, to try and cope with the pain they felt. And ykw? They usually aren't alone, usually someone helps comfort them to ease the pain WITH them.

Someone else we didnt know about came up to em! so asffsdh thats fun, but they got through it! Even if it was kinda awkward and weird and kinda not the best? But def not the worst. We actually still have it written down bc yk important, and that's how the alter coped anyways.

I'M SO PROUD OF THIS BTW GENUINELY LIKE WE DONT FEEL SO BLURRY/NEG ANYMORE!! I mean we're still fairly blurry bc day to day lack of identity has been a norm for us for so long 😔 but like we're not immobilized by the dissociation and stuffs, yk? PROGRESS!! And it's all thanks to this lil guy(/aff)! So many hugs for the traumaholder frfr, srsly!! (I'm actually starting to get emotional like wanting to cry from this lmao idk if this is me or someone else or the traumaholder XD)

Srsly, so proud, I love us, I cannot stress enough the genuine pride and joy I feel for us working through shit <33 - 🤎

thats great progress!! good job anon!! all of you guys!!:-)!!!

[savagebisand]

Let's do a deep dive into the complexity of Mew and Ray rebounding on each other and how it leads to a huge necessary parting of the entire core four.

It reaches a head at that cursed Halloween Party in this ep. Because y'all. We've had sweet and bitter but today we really saw it blend together and I think this whole series tackles the futility and perseverance of love and connection but we really saw it during episode eight at it's peak.

There is literally no room in my heart for hating on Mew over Ray right now because like Mew has taken every opportunity to insist that Ray isn't controlling or changing him, Mew is changing, Mew is saying fuck it so what to everything he despised before because he's tired of fitting in a box. it has nothing to do with Ray other than that Ray makes it easy. Ray won't judge because he cannot as he's done everything Mew is trying. Mew himself is telling everyone he's a grown ass man who is coping with shit the best way he can right now and Ray just happens to be the only one not trying to restrict him or tell him how to cope. the others blaming Ray for Mew's spiral is just what's easiest for them to swallow the truth. they don't see that Mew is using Ray's unconditional love as an excuse to be the worst version of himself because to them Mew is the only vulnerable one. So let's unpack all that shall we?

Ray on the other hand knows full well that Mew doesn't love him or want him as anything other than a distraction but he's humbly accepted his role. you can tell when Mew only kisses Ray in front of Top, when Mew can't tell Ray he loves him back that Ray knows because he knows Mew, Mew does not and can not love Ray at least not the way Ray imagined Mew could. but it's alright. because for once when Mew is falling apart he's picked Ray to get to stand fiercely at his side and give him arms to cry in. all Ray wants is to feel important and connected to Mew some way and so when Mew asks for cigarettes and coke and drinks and parties, Ray doesn't question it because if he did he loses the little limited space Mew has let Ray reside in whilst everyone else has been pushed aside.

I mean hell Ray even tells Sand that Mew and him "have to see if things will work between them first" when Sand insists Ray has had his dream come true getting to be with Mew. he insists they aren't serious yet but instead seeing how things go, that Mew is at least letting them try and that's good enough. The way Ray talks about it, you can tell he doesn't believe Mew will let him stay around as a boyfriend for long. It's not just because it's Sand he's talking to, there's this understanding in how Ray addresses it. He's okay with it because all that ever mattered to Ray was trying, was having the concrete proof that Mew and him don't and can't work in romantic love instead of Mew's half assed denials.

Ray understands perfectly his role as Mew's supporting character, he isn't blind like some insist. In fact he's got more in common with Nick and Sand than people would like to recognise. Remember how Nick insists that Boston "doesn't have to love him, doesn't have to make nick his priority, he just cannot hate him?" Well that's very much Ray now that Mew has given him the time of day. Everything is still all about Top and Ray can tell but as long as Mew is happy to pretend his spite overrules his lingering love, Ray will play along. I think its very telling in the moment when Mew says this:

Literally right in front of Ray's face and Ray says nothing about the fact they're supposed to be a "we" not an "I" right now. They're supposed to be playing the hosting couple, a united front. Yet here Mew is proudly proclaiming he doesn't need anyone anymore because he's learned to only care about himself for once, he's happy on self destruct because at least he only has to be his own priority and worst enemy. No one else gets to set his rules and break them and let him down except for himself.

So yeah Ray knows exactly where he stands but, look, as easy as it is to blame him for playing a part for Mew and not recognising Sand's love, we have to also bear in mind that Ray stands in this very fragile precipice currently where his loyalty to Mew is the difference between total alienation and having at least somebody from the broken family of the core four still remaining. Mew easily tossed Boston and Top aside, ruthlessly, and he will do the same the second Ray takes any high ground over Mew's actions because Mew will waste no time reminding him how much of a hypocrite he'd be right now.

And yes it's wrong that Mew is using Ray as collateral damage to his first real break up induced sad manic girl break down but in grief we become people we don't recognise. We go numb. I don't think Mew realises fully how detrimental it will be to rely on Ray right now as he cracks before he heals, he's too caught up in going through motions, one all nighter to the next. One revenge plot to the next. He does his best to protect Ray by insisting to Cheum and Top these are his own choices and consequences to handle but when your loved ones see you a certain way, they very staunchly refuse to recognise when you make choices they don't like for you.

Cheum and Top are kinda hypocritical for blaming Ray and not noticing their own flaws in their bid to "protect" Mew but it does make sense. They can't reconcile this new Mew with the one they have grown to understand and care for and rely on. It is far easier to look to the nearest external factor influencing Mew and pin everything on that. It doesn't make it right but it does explain their motivations. They can't see Rays complexity the way the viewer can so it's far simpler for Cheum to say Ray is careless and too greedy so he can never just settle. For Top to insist Ray can't love Mew if he keeps negative shit around Mew whilst forgetting he can't exactly be one to talk when Mew wasn't much better off with him.

Basically they're all getting to that point in this journey where they have to sit with some hard home truths about their friends and themselves and really no one is to blame anymore for anyone other than themselves. No one is responsible anymore for anyone but themselves. It's no longer a blame game and more a time to sit and ask questions about who they are and why they let things get to this point. It's the only chance they stand at not spending the rest of uni totally lost and alone. The only way they might all find a way back to each other, stronger than they were before, different yes, a little broken yes but stronger together.

I think this episode did a particularly beautiful job at showcasing how love remains and prevails even as things shift and recalibrate. Mew is downright vengeful to Top but Top quietly takes it all and refuses to quit when Mew pushes him away the way he gave up on Mew before. He stands steady and strong and he's the one who carries Mew to bed and cleans him up and gets him comfy. Treats him like he's precious finally and refuses to leave.

Boston is told by everyone he has no right to show his face but he insists he has to be there anyway, even as he challenges Nick for daring to approach him, a part of Boston clearly wishes Nick had told Ton about his project because he wanted to share the celebration but Ton can only hear Nick bragging that he's moving on to better things whilst Ton still keeps company with red solo cups in a hidden room, stuck in the sidelines. And yet Boston can't find it in him to treat Nick spitefully, the best he can do is dismissive. He still shows up in a panic on that staircase, helplessly searching for a way to save Ray even as he knows it's all too broken to fix.

Cheum explodes on Ray like a mother or sister whose lost all hope not once but twice but it comes out of a place of concern, a desperate final plea that if they really aren't enough then Ray has to want to help himself. And as hypocritical as we may find her for saying Ray is careless to those around him, she's not wrong that Ray, the night of the party in particular, has only dedicated himself to Mew. She knows now that none of her hopes or wishes for the boys to be better and focus on doing the best for themselves will ever be enough alone to make them care more about friendship and futures than sex and love. She's realising how little she noticed about how deep the cracks ran and she's having to struggle with that but she still begs Top to save Ray from a place she knows will take him to the point of no return even as she chooses to walk away.

Hell Sand and Nick don't even want to be at that party but against all odds they turn up because they owe it to themselves to save face and at least try to move on. To be mature and talk to the people that they've hurt and who have hurt them instead of burying their heads. Boston and Ray are cold to them and yet they don't leave. Sand still turns back and tries to protect Ray because even if he pushed him to the ground earlier and told him they're over. He can't watch Ray rot in prison when what Ray really needs is rehab. When thats the worst place Ray can go.

Top even helps Ray avoid jail time. He says "sorry for my friend" and even if his motivation is more to help Cheum or to do this because Mew will totally tip off the edge if Ray goes down, he gains nothing from this. There is a genuine flash of concern and recognition in his face as he watches Ray cry and scream that actually maybe they aren't so different. Maybe both of their realities are pitiful and lonely.

It's just so interesting that even as things come to a close and we can tell these characters are going to split apart and take some distance, abandon each other and pray it means they come back one day able to show up better for each other as friends... they still choose love, against all odds. It's a bittersweet goodbye because they're all angry and hurting and confused about who they are and why they're behaving the way they do but even in that final moment as Cheum pulls the curtain closed, she's that last string to break when Ton has been forced to pull away and so has Top, and we can tell Ray will try to cling to Mew a little less as he battles with Cheums harsh truth that maybe he really is bad for Mew and maybe Mew really isn't enough for him. They all show up to protect Ray and each other one last time. Even if it's hopeless.

Because love and loyalty remains unconditional even if they don't like the versions of themselves they can see right now. Because even when you don't agree with choices your nearest and dearest make, even when you can't forgive it, they will still always be your broken fucked up little family.

[tsbs-ship-hate-confessions]

Honest to God there is nothing more hypocritical of a bunch of whiny proshippers complaining about hate

yet preach free speech as long as they get to jerk off to kids getting fucked by their parents.

The hypocrisy is appalling.

'oh oh proshipping doesn't mean that stuff anymore, we're Clearly anti censorship oh oh the horrors of being called a creep for making celestialcest smut and giggling about siblings diddling each other. but we totally don't glorify dark topics why would you say such a thing'

like pick a fucking struggle. deal with the consequences of your actions. None of this is okay.

And mind you, this is coming from someone who is a major proponent of dark fiction. people should get to write whatever fucked up shit they want to. coping, venting, idc the reason

but you cannot honest to God be stupid enough to assume you're not a walking red flag. No one owes you trust that you're 'doing it for the right reasons' or 'don't support the morally stripped content' just like how you don't have to owe anyone an explanation. That street goes both ways

It's even stupider, when these fucks are all like 'u should clearly know I don't condone this'. I'm sorry, are we all a hivemind now? Are we above communication? It literally cost nothing to add a note of 'hey btw I think this shit isn't okay in case you can't read the room'. if ppl decide to assume bad faith after that then that's on them. but being a fucking mule about it? really? thought we were supposed to be adults here

speaking of which

"Children shouldn't be reading this anyway, My audience is smarter than that" ok thanks for infatizing and being ablest. nothing says fun like attempting to grow and try new things regardless of learning disabilities. or do you think we all roll over and die before highschool?

Also are we gonna brush past the part where the sun and moon show is literally made with kids in mind? Why again are we so desperate for smut over a show literally built around found family? 'everyone here is so immature' yeah bud, it takes one to know one. we were all kids. all of us were the newbies of the internet at one point. I ain't saying ya gotta hold anyone's hand or babysit but is throwing a hissy fit over finding spiders in a jar labeled spider the hill you really wanna die on? if you don't like it, leave

you literally preach that same shit yet seldomly follow your own advice.

Actually, let's go a step further: you're not welcomed here anymore than the gore anons are

P.S.

The reason why murder and gore is more acceptable than pedophilia smut is because one of these attracts actual predators. Porn is still porn at the end of the day, whether it's video or a picture, or words. and if it's on a screen it will fuck your head up the same way you can't have just one cigaret. it's always 'one more can't hurt' until it's an addiction you cannot escape from. And once someone is in that cycle, it gets worse. because soon the same thing that got rocks off doesn't work anymore. so then you find something stronger to get that high. then you have to find another stronger way to get that same effect

And that is exactly how convicted pedophiles go from using fictional kiddy porn to actual csem. There is actual fucking evidence for this shit with neurobiology and psychology to back it up

TL;DR violent video games don't create serial killers because people can only have a dopamine addiction. video game addiction is like sugar addiction Porn however can most definitely create pedophiles and rapist because of the involvement of dopamine, oxytocin, norepinephrine, vasopressin. porn addiction is like meth or heroin

These 2 are Not remotely comparable to the other 2

ALL, actions have consequences. It does not matter if you are a celebrity, or a fic author with 3 views. You are not an exception, and you feed the machine that gets kids groomed, trafficked, and even killed when you choose to sexualize and normalize pedophilia and incest.

So if you're getting shamed for getting giddy over shipping shit like Killcode and Bloodmoon or Sun and Dazzle. maybe you should think long and hard about why that is.

This is so much bigger than fighting over 'making dolls kiss'.

Get the fuck out of a fandom filled with kids before you get someone hurt

-

[yannaryartside]

THE MEANING OF THE FORKS IN "THE BEAR"

Like many things on this show, the forks have a literal and symbolic meaning inside the Berzatto family and for Richie. 

Richie spent many days staring at them, superficially cleaning them like he didn't want to touch them for too long. What he literally thinks about the forks is that taking care of them is not useful, not the worthy purpose he has been looking for, which is contrasted to Olivia Coleman's character at the end of the episode, spending time pealing some tiny potatoes, something that you would think is a waste of time for somebody as high in the chain of command as her, (doesn't she have already a bigger purpose?) and what does she say? "I think time spent on this is time well spent" Richie learns that every step in the process deserves care, every person in the chain of command has a purpose, and that purpose deserves respect; that's the reason he becomes the rock that many people end up relying on, as part of his role as general manager. 

Now, the symbolic meaning. I think the forks represent negative responses to trauma, the most visible effect of a wound, but sometimes so polarly opposite of what the person really feels. The dinner madness begins when Mickey, upset, insulted, and drugged, decides to throw a fork at Lee (after Donna does the same). Mickey then goes asking for forks and no other utensil, not a knife, because the intention of the hurtful comments in the whole family dynamic is never to kill or seriously hurt people, just to pinch; it's inoffensive enough to keep the family for actually erupting and falling apart, but damaging enough to leave scars if applied with pressure, enough so the people in trauma can feel they are saying something they actually mean. Lee's comments on Micke's failures, Micke's comments on Lees's failures, Donna giving Nat shit about the sugar incident (still), Carmy's admitting how abandoned he feels, why he didn't want to come home, just to be shut down and demanded to show affection so they can continue being a family. It is a symbol of "not so passive" aggression. 

Forks have the same meaning for Carmy and Richie, at least on a subconscious level, but they have different approaches to it.

Let's start with Carmy. The last thing Carmy looks at in Fishes is the fork stuck in the food, the symbol of care in their family, stabbed by aggression, a fracture so big it cannot be ignored anymore, pushed away or hidden under the intention to love. He just had a terrifying moment with his mom ("Do we have a problem"?). Now he is just staring at the fork with that dead look in his eyes that we see every time he almost burns his house or the restaurant down. Carmy is terrified of forks, so he didn't order more than the other utensils, even if it makes sense logistically; too many forks are dangerous. 

Richie didn't want to spend too much time touching and handling the forks (the trauma, the "mild" aggression, the behavior he learned from Mickey). Still, once he spent enough time with them (for the narrative), he was promoted to service people (hospitality). And that is the role he plays at the restaurant; he handles Carmy being trapped (the result of his decisions based on trauma), and they buy more forks because, under Richie's orientation, they don't have destructive power anymore. His ultimate purpose. After all, he can "handle them." All of this is proved when he is actually able to point to Carmy what is wrong with him; he is the only one, as a person that was closed enough with the family to see all that violence happening, but not an actual Berzatto, so he can see the aggression/trauma for what really is. His assigned growth duty was to "clean" the forks, acknowledge them, and take responsibility for them, not run away from them as Carmy did. Richi had also grown from the phase of his life when he was condemned by the necessity to fit in the Berzatto family, basically coping with his personality from Mickey, so when Carmy starts trowing forks (insults) at him while he is stuck in the freezer, Richi doesn't need (really) to trow forks back at him, he responded "I love you" which is the answer a responsible parent should give when their kids react a certain way when their necessities are not meet. He is breaking the cycle of violence and the perpetuation of trauma. Richie still calls Carmy on his bullshit, saying that if Carmy keeps running away from his pain, he will end with fucking nothing because Mickey ended up dead for doing the same. Richie is the support that Carmy dreamed his brother would give him. I am gonna cry into a corner.

Like he literally was replacing Michael in the "new" holy trinity of Berzatto siblings. He was, to some extent, raised by Donna "My best friend's ma was like my ma."

So much love already from the people in this fandom. Again, thank you for reading, reblogging, and adding commentary or just commenting. This show has so many details you can never see the whole picture, and everything makes sense. Thank you for your warm welcome.