#I really. cannot cope with this shit anymore

[haml3t]

Whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever

[zippityzap]

today at work was the goddamn last straw. Still working there but I am now applying for other companies because anything has to be better than this ✌️✨

[jarinnards]

I'm so sick of seeing people act like Loghain didn't love his wife. Like, yes, this dude was fucked up and yes he's so emotionally stunted that he wound up neglecting her because - let's face it - he cannot fucking work through his feelings or problems to save his life, but... Really? The guy who neglected his Terynir due to severe depression and feeling lost and only stopped fucking around after Celia practically broke his door down and shouted at him over his mistreatment not just of his people, but also of the furniture before going "can you lock the fuck in" and promoting them to have REPEATED shouting matches, which then resulted in him asking for her hand in marriage? The guy who fucking obliterated his wifes rose bush the ONE time she asks him for help tending it and then immediately decides the only logical conclusion is repentance by trouncing down to Denerim, getting not just roses, not just seeds, but an ENTIRE GODDAMN ROSE BUSH, THORNS AND ALL, stuffing it in his pack as he gets cut all to shit and tells everyone who offers to help him with it to kill themselves because it is VITAL that he be the one to give it to his wife? The guy who, after playing the longest running game of hide and seek with his own feelings and trauma, decides "yeah, I'll live with my wife, fuck it" and actually settled down with her for the whole of three years before she FUCKING DIES and prompts him to go "yeah, I'll live with my daughter, fuck it" as Anora drags the whole court down to Gwaren to give her mother the most lavish funeral ceremony Fereldan had seen to date and was so deeply affected by Celias death that he literally NEVER goes back to his Terynir because his wife isn't there anymore? Mr "you'll have to excuse me if I close my eyes and think of my dead wife" during what is probably the first and only time he has had any kind of sex since Celia died??????? REALLY????? Get the entire FUCK out of my house. Say what you will about Loghain and his fucking AWFUL coping mechanisms, but don't you spit on my boys marriage to Celia. It's possible to avoid processing your trauma AND love your wife.

[littlemissshifter]

ummm idk how to explain this without sounding like a total debbie downer but the rise of fascism in the world really makes me doubt shifting for some reason like. why am i even here in such a shit fuck ass reality. does that make sense 😭 like maybe it’s just the fact that these situations make me feel out of control and hopeless like wdym there’s shit like human trafficking and nazis and genocide what the fuck.

idk what to do anymore and it scares me. it feels like my affirming isn’t enough and shifting is fake or something and i’m just dissociating from reality or something to cope with events happening in my country. 😵‍💫

hi! This is really important to talk about and thank you for bringing it up.

A lot of people can feel hopeless and lost with what's going around the world as a whole. We need to realise that these things exist and they exist in every reality. Not particularly the topics mentioned above, but the good and the bad. If even one or the other did not exist, there is negative in too much positive (eg being self sacrificial in the name of being kind) and positive in too much negative (people realising things need to change and stepping up to be the change they want in society).

I'm not saying these things should exist no matter what. I'm saying is that the good and the bad will exist anyways. Because the universe is all about balance and one without the other is non-existent.

You cannot change the ways of the world. But, you can change the ways of your world. Your reality.

Even if we all exist on this earth right now, we live in different realities. You're not only existing in this reality but in many others. The thing is you're only aware of existing in this reality. You can change that anytime. It is common to worry about the world, of how things are and what you want to do to stop it. You can do that as it is also the part of your reality. The world you look at is your reality. Now, you did not create 'this' whole reality. It existed before you were aware of it. Collective human consciousness created it.

You were 'born' or exist in this reality because you were shaped by it's beliefs. You played a part in it too. You were unaware then.

But, now you're aware. You can choose anything and decide it in your world. It will become true as reality is you. The only way to help the world as a collective is to help ourselves rise and become more. Become what we are truly as humans which is more than any physical event that has happened or is or will be happening in the 3D. This does not mean to stop helping people. But we need to help ourselves too by rising above the conditioning of the 'matrix' and knowing what we're capable of.

Again I'll say, let whoever runs the world run it, you just have to run yours.

[mamawasatesttube]

ok i put a longer post abt tim's Emotional State in drafts for when my brain is less melted but re: tim and going to college im just gonna get a lil silly with it. hear me out.

i have this whole vague story in my mind for tim's college days moonlighting as red robin as he tries and figures out what he wants out of life. (it's a while after rr leaves off and all because he's like. Super Depressed for a hot minute and then has to drag himself through actually bothering to get his GED and applying to college, etc., but eventually lucius is like hey. you're great with gadgets, and you clearly love tinkering. i'd hire you for r&d in a heartbeat but you need at the least a bachelor's of engineering. i know you have a lot of the technical skills, but you need a degree. so tim goes ugh fine i'll get a goddamn engineering degree how hard can it possibly be.)

anyways. i think it's a universal experience that if you go to college and you hang with the STEM crowd, you will unfortunately get to know at least one Fucking Guy. it's like brentwood arc; tim does make friends, but there is just this One Fucking Guy he cannot stand and will never stand. this Fucking Guy is in the common room playing his guitar at midnight. he's drunk and yelling and laughing really loud when people have exams coming up. he's convinced everyone adores him. there's also a detective/supernatural plot going on. the subplot is just that tim hates This Fucking Guy.

at some point, there's a story beat where he as red robin has to rescue That Fucking Guy from a real dicey situation, and That Fucking Guy is really shaken and grateful to him, and he's like okay. maybe. maybe we are making progress. but then the next time he encounters This Fucking Guy as tim drake, the guy is just like. "ohhhh hey drake you missed it last night, it was AWESOME!!! i had to save red robin from a KILLER ROBOT. he's pretty cool though i guess. i bet you wish you could be more like him huh??" and tim is just. I Will Not Grind My Teeth About This. I Will Not. his life is a fucking joke. he dismantles the toaster oven in the common room kitchen to cope. it's definitely to cope and not just so that That Fucking Guy won't be able to heat up his pop tarts in the morning.

at another point, This Fucking Guy looks at street mode, lowkey, unremarkable Normal Car-looking redbird and goes, aw, dude, i thought your dad is loaded?? he only got you a generic-ass sedan?? that sucks lol, if you want we can take my car down to the game instead. and tim is just Say One More Fucking Word About My Baby I Dare You I Fucking Dare You One More Fucking Word.

(also i like to toy with the idea of this being a university in metropolis - he's out of gotham, but not too far. keeps him from getting antsy about what if he's needed because he can get right back over there. and in the meantime, he can hang out with kon and kara a lot, and occasionally enable and be enabled by lois lane and her snooping habits. there's another subplot in which tim and lois get up to shenanigans. at least once.)

it's sort of an introspective thing of him trying to come to terms with the way he no longer wants a fully normal life the way he always used to assume he would - he has the option to walk away from the cape now, like he always thought he would one day, but he just can't give it up anymore. he's fallen into the same black hole he watched dick and bruce dive headlong into. it's also about him finding joy in tinkering and working with his hands and getting to spend more time as tim drake first and foremost. and it's about him venting to kon about That Fucking Guy while they have a lil picnic on the green while kon loses his absolute shit laughing. all against the backdrop of a little mystery or something. <3

OH and also, most importantly. zoanne wilkins is there and laughing at him for assuming college would be easy. and kon gets her into wendy the werewolf stalker. My City Now.

[warblogs17282]

Blitz and Stolas, and their coping mechanisms. A breakdown of the matter.

Just so we're clear, I am not saying who has the worst coping mechanisms out of the two in the post, I think they both have pretty bad coping mechanisms for different reasons.

Blitz - Present Day.

The ice cream binges:

I wasn't really going to think all that much about this, but this line from ghostfuckers caught my attention. I am willing to admit that Blitz is likely being hyperbolic here by a bit with this statement, but the fact he said this at all points to that it's starting to become an unhealthy coping mechanism for Blitz, and considering it's been a month since Apology Tour, just how much ice cream and cheese has Blitz consumed by this point? Relatively minor thing all things considered, but it's definitely something to keep in mind.

Plus, this isn't even the first time that Blitz has employed this coping mechanism, we see it in s1 e8, right after the disaster that was Ozzie's. I wouldn't call him doing this in s1 e8 'unhealthy' exactly, but I'm just showing this to show that this isn't a new thing for Blitz.

Buying expensive stuff/Poor financial decisions:

Well this purchase wasn't a coping mechanism and more so just Blitz making questionable financial decisions. "And he paid in advance, and I spent it all on this…", I don't know exactly how much an assassination costs exactly, but from the looks of things, it costed a pretty penny. With this giving us our first hint into Blitz likely impulse buying and making questionable financial decisions. (it does look cool af though)

And then ghostfuckers just amps that shit up to ten. Blitz is now 100% buying stuff as a coping mechanism, and it's 100% an unhealthy one as well at this point, because it's putting IMP in a bad spot financial wise.

But for a quick list of what Blitz has purchased since Apology Tour:

300 taxidermy owls.

However many horse plates there are in this box.

The ghostfucker ghostsucker device, costing a couple thousand.

The reason why I call all of this an unhealthy coping mechanism at this point is because Blitz straight up cannot afford to keep making purchases like these anymore, because there's multiple letters saying things like 'Final Notice', Blitz is now draining their pensions to buy things, IMP could be at risk of defaulting if Moxxie is to be believed at his word, and Millie hasn't been paid in a month.

Sex:

Just a brief one here as there's not really much for me to comment on regarding this, but ghostfuckers told us that one of the things Blitz does to cope when he feels unwanted/unloved, is look for sex or just consume sexual media.

And well, that's making me think back to his relationship with Stolas a little. Do you think that Blitz could've been using his nights with Stolas as a way to help himself cope a little? Because at minimum, Stolas unintentionally fed into this coping mechanism of Blitz's.

Blitz - The Past.

Drugs:

In Truth Seekers, Blitz admits to doing a fuck ton of tranquilizers in college, although this is never expanded upon, so this could potentially have been a coping mechanism for Blitz at one point in his life but we can't be sure of that.

Alcohol:

Blitz in the past has had quite the history of alcohol usage, and I mainly say this because of a few lines of dialogue in s1 e8, those being "He-hey, I knew it was you! Fuck, man, where you been? You here for the party?" and "Come in and show us all up again.", with both of these lines implying that Blitz used to be a regular at Beelzebub's parties, and that Blitz probably drank quite heavily at those parties as well, based off the 'show us all up again' line. Which could also potentially point us to Blitz using the parties and it's alcohol as a coping mechanism, but again, while it is very plausible, I cannot fully confirm this at this time.

Also, something else I want to mention is that addiction tends to run in the family, as we know, Cash was a likely alcoholic, considering we see him drink a bottle in some other tent before Stolas' butler walks in, and there's the line "Remember how you used to distract my dad so I could steal his booze?".

Barbie Wire used to be addicted to this drug named 'H-8' at some point, and also went to rehab over it at some point as well.

And it's also worth mentioning that Verosika is also an alcoholic, who also went to rehab over it, but eventually got let out because of her celebrity status or something like that.

Stolas.

Before I get started with this one I encourage you to read this post I made on this subject before, which goes into quite a lot of detail regarding it all.

The likely abuse of his happy pills:

The start of s2 e1 firmly establishes that Stolas' dosage of these pills are two pills.

But when we skip to when Stolas wakes up later in the episode, we see that Stolas has just haphazardly got the pills out of the bottle and he grabs three of the pills, which points to Stolas either intentionally taking more than the dosage he should be taking, or that he just grabs a random amount of the happy pills sometimes. Both of which could point to that Stolas is abusing the happy pills, and potentially that it's one of his coping mechanisms as well.

Plus, there's the fact that Stolas runs out of the happy pills in s2 e8, which again, could also potentially suggest that Stolas is abusing the happy pills as a coping mechanism, but at the same time he could've just forgotten to get a refill so.

Alcohol:

We know Stolas uses alcohol quite heavily to cope with difficult situations, and I'm pretty sure that Stolas is also an alcoholic, but we've seen three examples of Stolas relying on alcohol throughout the show so far:

Chugging a bottle of that strong shit at Stella's party,

Quite possibly getting blackout drunk at home after the mess that was Ozzie's, on the exact same strong shit,

and Stolas starts to chug yet another bottle of alcohol, very shortly after he got pressured to singing about Blitz, and that Blitz is right here at the party, talking with him, when Stolas' emotions are still very raw for Stolas.

Plus, I'm pretty sure that Bryce said something along the lines of this at a panel once, that Stolas does indeed have a problem with alcohol. (If someone has the exact quote please let me know.)

[schizotypalpd-culture-is]

major cw for venting abt rumination, unreality and paranoia...

questioning stpd + bpd culture is freaking out alot and never being able to keep an account for long and getting immediately suspicious as well as hella inferior to ("they're gonna find out something about me idk what but i know")/anxious of anyone who is too enthusiastic about you (and conversely trying to talk to people who are not as available at all), not being able to use youtube much anymore because u think all the videos could be talking about you even tho its just a tactic to address the viewer to watch but u feel so fucking called out by every little thing, getting angry at the screen and always typing mean shit in the search bar in case somethings watching (but still being addicted to the internet), feeling intrusive at every family function for no reason, feeling like an idiot trying to speak more than one or two words on most days bc it gets jumbled or u literally cannot remember even names or what u did 2 days ago, having the weirdest blend of disgruntled/confused/concerned stare with little response at all whenever u try to describe ur problems and mind, having breakdowns when u try to make friends irl, and really needing help but too scared of being invalidated/mistreated/laughed at and also its a big process i dont fully understand or have much help with and being watched/monitored by family is my nightmare. then ruminating for hours feeling guilty bc the other part of u knows its not all about u, negative grinch!! but u cant escape the feeling or the possibility. then u get scared somethings watching ur brain judging and u spend more hours arguing with yourself or the entity and freaking out which the stress and sleep deprivation turns into hallucinating ghosts (then u think... OMG she cursed me! im haunted! its this house! my vibes are so bad ghosts want me out of here.) and having nobody to tell abt it. so u write about it in a document cuz u literally cant verbalise delusions hoping whatever medical professional will see it wont disregard it because you are somewhat self aware/introspective (to the point that you're just obsessing over your own thoughts not really anything like ooh enlightenment. oh and then u ruminate that maybe youre not sick enough... then get angry at imaginary people who would dare think that... wait im an asshole! people can think what they want! whats my problem! im so mean! que rumination about that), post online then get paranoid about it again and tbh u dont know why u post it but it has to go somewhere, to someone. itll probably drive everyone away but i don't know where else to go. maybe ill be honest and show my true face. but do people even do that? am i something to be hidden? im so tired and cant even cope with people walking outside my window and i look creepy when i figure out what theyre doing by standing at the window then i panic thinking they think im a creep going to do bad things.

.

[adarkermiserablecrow]

Okay I've been awake for going on 36 hours and I tried to make this post last week but here we go

The lake, right. Season 7B made really damn sure we know the lake meant a lot to Shannon and Eddie. It's where they met, it was important to them. We are also told, explicitly, that Christopher loves the lake, and his grandparents took him there presumably within days of returning to El Paso.

The whole of this plot hinges on grief. Grief surrounding Shannon, the different ways Eddie and Chris have or haven't processed it. Eddie's approach in particular (though I maintain it wasn't really his fault) ends with Chris running to El Paso, to his grandparents, probably expecting to find comfort there, in the last place he truly had his mom, and far away from his dad who he's mad at.

But. But. 8x01 mentioned something that has lived in my mind rent free ever since. Helena and Ramon are taking Christopher to pool club, and thinking of installing their own pool for him, planning for the future. And as relates to the lake, you can argue they're trying to keep a substitute available, or that they are trying to foster Chris's love for the water that Eddie made sure survived the tsunami. We don't know for sure that they don't take him to the lake anymore, only that it has not been mentioned at all.

But symbolically, to me, it feels so much like erasure. A severing of this important link between Christopher and Shannon and, to some extent, Christopher and Eddie. That lake stands as a symbol and a relic of the time when Eddie and Shannon had been uncomplicated, young and happy, and, I cannot emphasise this enough, the show has connected it to Shannon. Eddie took Kim to the lake, for crying out loud!

And, I'm glad I didn't make this post last week because 8x02 gave me more brainrot on the matter. Because holy shit. Here's a falling plane, a desperate situation, and a father and his son who are grieving the mother. The father lets his son go, unsure of if or when the kid will come back, because the plane is falling, and only tells him 'I love you.' They were headed to Hawai'i because they were doing things the mother enjoyed to celebrate her birthday. I can't be the only one who reads Eddie and Chris into the whole of this, or at least a version of Eddie and Chris where they coped differently, or lost Shannon in, for lack of a better term, better circumstances.

And I wonder if Eddie will get to witness this father and son next episode, if this is what finally sets the stone rolling on fixing things with Chris, on finally moving forward, on finally celebrating Shannon.

And if the aforementioned erasure of the lake will move things along on Christopher's side, make him see both his parents and his grandparents differently.

This is (probably obviously) lead-up for an Eddie arc later in the season, and the opening of the path to moving forward, and I honestly think it's all going to come back to 'we do things she loved together to celebrate her' and that goddamned lake.

[atopvisenyashill]

I don't know if you can talk about Aerea and Rhaena, their whole relationship is horrible, but a lot of the fandom tends to label her as a simple bad mother and not see beyond that.

I find their relationship very tragic largely because I think under normal circumstances, Rhaena would have been a very loving and present mother. I also think "well she's a bad mother" is very disingenous framing. For the first several years of her life As A Mom, she and her daughter are being held hostage by her insane uncle. Then, she spends the next several years trying to cope with the fact that she was maritally raped, her brother-husband was murdered, any and all power she has is derived completely from how her younger brother is feeling on that day, oh and, ya know, being a LESBIAN IN A MEDIEVAL ESQUE PERIOD. cannot stress enough that Rhaena has a lot of shit going on that impacts her ability to take care of herself let alone take care of a child. And none of that is Aerea's fault - again, Aerea's childhood is spent in an unstable, sexually abusive home where her mother is being maritally raped by the man who murdered her father, she has no freedom to decide where she wants to go because she's a hostage while simultaneously being heir to the throne, and then she's just unceremoniously sent to Dragonstone because her mother decides it must be so.

And I think Rhaena really tries to make things better for Aerea! She encourages Aerea to claim a dragon, she clearly tries to set up a sort of court on Dragonstone, but she doesn't even know her daughter much less understand what would make her happy. They've been separated for years! Rhaena herself clearly wants a break from court to just be left alone to live her life, but Aerea has spent so long being shuffled around, being a hostage, (perhaps even training as a Septa...), that of course she doesn't want to sit still. Then Rhaena gets divorced and Aerea's stepmom leaves, and there's no other children to play with, and the ladies Rhaena keeps don't know how to care for a child nor are they interested in learning.

This is an unbelievably tense and unstable first decade or so of her life! There's just very few scenarios where these two have a healthy, stable relationship due to the incredibly instability they're in the middle of. I always go back to Rhaenys at points like this - Rhaenys who claimed a grown dragon at 16, Rhaenys who taunted her husband that she'd get to the end of the world first because she'd be flying, Rhaenys who is probably the most well adjusted Targaryen we have information on. Rhaenys has a father who likely encouraged her ~headstrong ways~ and a mother who supported and loved her. Rhaenys who had cousins to play with as she learned how to socialize with others, Rhaenys who had a grandmother to teach her. Rhaenys had a stable environment to grow up in. Rhaenys had an education befitting an heiress. If Aerea had lived in a normal (ish) environment where she has two parents, aunts and uncles, cousins all around, a dragon she's allowed to claim, status that is protected by her mother and father's own status...it would be night and day! And if Rhaena had a spouse she trusted, mentors and advisors who had even a lick of sense, a brother more interested in her happiness and less interested in completely upending her claim to protect his own...again, think of Rhaenys has a mother! Think of Laena claiming a dragon before she's 12!

Rhaena isn't ~a bad mother~ anymore than Aerea is ~a bad child~ they are simply two people who lived through stressful, traumatic situations and reacted imperfectly to those situations. They had no real support system. They moved around constantly. This was never going to end well for either of them and it's not really either of their faults.

[darkshippingconfessions]

Tw skinning idk?, coprophilia, necrophilia, suicide mentioned gets venty but I have no idea where to send some vents on anon on Tumblr and seeing the reactions without my name attached, maybe advice

I wish my blorbo would skin me alive so that I'd feel pain without having those scars that I know I am going to hate because I want to be as much pretty as possible while being myself and trying to seperate my mentally ill self with how I am too weird and conscious to be counted to the normal, but have too normal senses to be really counted as ill in any groups and being unable to relate to anyone.

I know my blorbo just would skin me alive to purify me out of my horrible body. The body that feels like it does n't want to exist in this perceptive reality as she mocks me internally over my punishment and that such thoughts were punishable by death. Such thing will make me rejoin in her domain as she is the lady the devil of death. She shall skin me and make me something less, something happy something that is loved and secretly worshipped as the manifestation of the fear of death stares at her neither alive or dead soulmate that exists yet the soul just wanders.

But she knows that I shouldn't be alive, it wasn't my purpose as I was supposed to be dead and erased. Yet the odd sorrow and aching that was caused with her having this irrational obsession over me. She fed me her shit as I eaten with pleasure, knowing that's what I deserve as a mere mortal. Not really to look out for. She'd make me pure (she would not, yumeshipping shows much more of your screws loose). The only way that helped with me coping even before I got this blorbo is just bad for environment and my dumbass got influenced by some artist (i know, pathetic) that I'm lazy (even though I made very complicated art for myself to cope after years of quiet isolation, not quite bullying but you know when you'd be the last to be picked out always and how you just despise them? But fuck me I guess?) I tried so many times, always to fail. No one cares. No one. Anyone. I don't fit anywhere, anymore. I want to do something, but I did so many times and I cannot just sacrifice myself to help as I have no money and no power to physically help or even be nicer. The world made me so jaded.

I want my lady Death Devil (csm) to take me and take delicacy. Be her little, loving puppet with no thoughts. Just a trope. Just a passing ghost that will always be this youthful beauty that mysterious teenager. I cannot see myself as an adult that breakdowns are not in the same light anymore and I'm still lucky to be born female because some people in mental health awareness could maybe flock to me in the fake sympathy garner because if I killed fucking myself they would maybe flock in trying to get some artificial sympathy.

In conclusion

Darkshipping really helps me get through it. I'm good...for now, the constant I'd be a waste if I did anything and I don't want to be the waste ,keeps me going when I torture my blorbos or give them people to torture. It makes me at peace...fills me. I draw them and my ocs, feels great. I cannot imagine if I was more "harsh" anti. (For context I aggressively blocked Kaeluc shippers when I was into genshin, talked once how proshippers are weird and on the fucking r/r34 I noticed a porn comic of Katana and Toph and I bitched that she was twelve (tbh it was seemingly against the rules but they were rarely enforced) while I watched Jotaro and Dio skullfuck.) I don't miss it but man I wish I could get someone finally.

delete just the anon if necessary I needed to get something out but it's somewhat fandom related.

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[totoanime52]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE FINALE OF MY HERO ACADEMIA (LONG, SO BE PREPARED)

So the manga has finally (unofficially) come to an end. With the release of 430's leaks we see how the young heroes have grown over eight years in a timeskip. I'll give my thoughts on the final chapter here before I give my overall thoughts on the series in another post.

First and foremost, I was actually quite happy to see that Horikoshi didn't push pairings into the mix and kept the focus on the characters doing their hero work. As I mentioned on a previous post, I don't like how frequent it is that a series makes the entire last chapter of their story basically dedicated to making sure certain pairings are canon (usually by introducing us to their kids in their own little stories) rather than devoting it to the themes or characters of the world they crafted for years. I often feel like they could have spent more time focusing on an issue or expanding characters more. An example is Naruto: I wanted the last chapter of Naruto to be about our boy's inauguration as Hokage, since that is what the series was pretty much building up to. I would have cried to see Naruto finally take up the mantle of Hokage after seeing how far he has come. Instead, we are pretty much preparing for Boruto's sequel story by being introduced to all the kids and setting up their stories (and you can't imagine my anger when I later found out Naruto canonically missed his inauguration for the sake of a damn joke). Here, we actually focus on how Midoriya is coping with being Quirkless again while still trying to encourage others to follow their own dreams, as well as how the other characters are working in this world. Seeing how Midoriya had originally taken the role of a teacher at UA in this chapter even though he did lose OFA eventually was kind of sweet, especially seeing how some students still admired him (including a now UA student Kota!!). I know that isn't where his story ends, but I'll get to that part in a bit.

We also see how Uraraka is focusing her efforts on changing Quirk counseling to focus more on helping those with different mental states rather than trying to make them conform to 'normality.' Even though I am still not happy with Toga's death, at least Uraraka is trying to make sure that at least one of the major sources of pain in Toga's life cannot harm another child like it did to her.

The fact that the ranking system is still around eight years later is maddening. When it mentioned how Dynamight yelling at a civilian for pushing a camera into his face will cause his rank to drop, I thought three things: 1. Who should give a shit about the rankings anymore?; 2. I wouldn't be happy if someone pushed a camera in my face while I'm working, especially if it involves something that requires focus and can be dangerous; 3. This is Dynamight, they should know his personailty by now so what did they expect to happen? I know Keigo is trying, but as long as that system is in place, it will still make the whole hero career in general more of a competitive popularity contest than a collaborative function.

Finally, we see how Izuku's story reaches it's end, at least on paper: All Might gives him his old hero costume case from school (with 18 right on the front) and tells him that Bakugou and the others from class A (note: it still feels weird not saying 1A anymore) have pooled money in over the past eight years to fund the creation of support items for Izuku so he can officially take up the mantle of the hero Deku again. This time, we see Bakugou hold his hand out to Izuku; turns out he really did mean it when he said he wanted them to keep competing with each other for the rest of their lives (*coughtsunderecough*). As Deku once again adorns his hero suit, he sees what looks like a ghost of Shigaraki Tomura watching him. The last panel of the manga shows the present day Class A students, now officially heroes.

I do like how Izuku remains Quirkless in the end. Despite him now having the means to pick his hero career back up, it doesn't change the fact that One For All is still gone forever. There was no miraculous reawakening of it or anything, but a work-around was found with the use of support items. Deku is now a Quirkless Hero, so perhaps this may help the rest of the 20% in the world that they can still chase their dreams. The fact that Class A dedicated eight years of funds to help Izuku keep his dream is also kind of heartwarming, especially when they were busy with their own lives and work, as well.

As for Shigaraki's ghost, I kind of have mixed feelings about that. I'm happy that Izuku still thinking about him after eight years. Maybe this is a way that Horikoshi is trying to say that his failure to save Shigaraki still haunts him and will continue to haunt him. Maybe it means that Shigaraki will keep watching Deku to see if he will be able to keep that spirit despite the failures behind him and the unknowns ahead of him (like a "Okay, Hero, let's see if you still have the ability to save others even after you couldn't save me" in that sarcastic way). I still wish there was a way that Tomura or any of the main villain trio could have been saved with how it was set up, so this little snippet of him still makes me sad to know that never happened.

Overall, the final chapter was better than I was expecting. While I still have issues with how Horikoshi chose to handle (or in the rankings case, NOT handle) some of the problems in the world of BNHA, I like how he kept the story on Izuku's dream of becoming a hero, something he was sure would never happen in the beginning and, near the end, would never happen again.

The fact that he kept their futures open to our interpretations in terms of where they will take their personal lives is quite nice to see, especially in regards to shipping. I feel like when official pairings are made, especially ones made last minute in stories like many shounen manga, most of the time it invites bragging, people putting others down, or just straight up fights in the fandom (it honestly scares me just how viscous some people can be over a fictional pairing). By keeping it open, at the very least it prevents some of the more extreme parts of the pairing fandom from claiming superiority over others. Anyway, sorry for the tangent at the end, but this is something that always irked me, especially in stories where romance wasn't a main theme.

Sidenote: seeing Eri growing up, smiling, and in a music club with her friends is the most beautiful thing. She's come so far and it's so cute how music became a passion for her after it was the catalyst for giving her back her smile.

[sirenium]

I've been debating whether or not I should go public with this, but I don't feel comfortable calling myself anti radqueer anymore. I've spent time listening to RQs, and though there are definitely cases of 'yeah that person is fucked' a lot of them are just people trying to cope with the deck of cards they were given. So this is a RQ safe space, even if my older posts don't reflect that. I'm RQ neutral and pro transID. I never really cared about people earnestly being transID, but let my discomfort with 'transautistic' etc folks get the best of me... that changes now. I say this as someone who's """cis""" autistic, someone who has BIID, someone who is supposedly affected by RQ ideals. I know even being neutral on the subject will get me shit, but I would rather be honest. I'd rather get the mass unfollowing over with. Because how someone's atypical dysphoria manifests isn't my business, nor is somebody's coping mechanism. It's nobody's business but theirs, and something I see in anti spaces is just... a complete lack of understanding of that. I see some real gross shit from antis, all in the name of 'morality,' and it's something that I cannot align with anymore.

If you've read this far, and are considering unfollowing, I wish you the best. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, nor beg you to stay within my presence if it makes you uncomfortable. If you're an anti, and want to stick around, that's fine too; rest assured that this blog isn't going to be radqueer centered. However: anyone who 'infiltrates' spaces, sends harassment, etc is NOT welcome here, I don't care which side you're on. Thanks.

[traumagenic-positivity]

We're rlly happy about this (and tbh it's kinda often that we're proud of things we do), so wanted to just share because :3 <long post moment>

I know we've certainly had pride when alters were developing, like figuring themselves out, and we're always proud of that progress we make individually. But this is slightly different, and was kinda necessary.

We'd been really REALLY dissociated for a while, like struggle to function at all dissociated. And there was fear, ik that much. Didn't know what to do to fix it, and was really hesitant or afraid or uncomfortable with some methods to ground for some reason? We weren't sure entirely bc soup brain, yk.

Turns out that, well, in retrospect, it makes sense why there was hesitation to ground at all or any other idea we had that was rejected (idr if it was smth else specifically ofc). A traumaholder was essentially STUCK, ig? Idk but ig that's why we were blurry and just completely out of it for so long (like at*least* two days /lh). And also why we wanted a specific alter to come out (who is associated with helping them bc past stuff) -,_-,

Well they managed to actually. Idk. OK I DONT KNOW HOW THEY DID IT, but I guess it's because the avoidance or barrier to pain was lowered, lessened, removed? Like we/they stopped blocking out and purposefully avoiding the pain we felt, the sad thoughts that suck. We usually try to let ourselves feel pain but ig we werent?? But they did it, felt the hurt, and I mean ig it's kinda grounding to feel what you feel? So they were def in front. They did what they wanted, needed, to try and cope with the pain they felt. And ykw? They usually aren't alone, usually someone helps comfort them to ease the pain WITH them.

Someone else we didnt know about came up to em! so asffsdh thats fun, but they got through it! Even if it was kinda awkward and weird and kinda not the best? But def not the worst. We actually still have it written down bc yk important, and that's how the alter coped anyways.

I'M SO PROUD OF THIS BTW GENUINELY LIKE WE DONT FEEL SO BLURRY/NEG ANYMORE!! I mean we're still fairly blurry bc day to day lack of identity has been a norm for us for so long 😔 but like we're not immobilized by the dissociation and stuffs, yk? PROGRESS!! And it's all thanks to this lil guy(/aff)! So many hugs for the traumaholder frfr, srsly!! (I'm actually starting to get emotional like wanting to cry from this lmao idk if this is me or someone else or the traumaholder XD)

Srsly, so proud, I love us, I cannot stress enough the genuine pride and joy I feel for us working through shit <33 - 🤎

thats great progress!! good job anon!! all of you guys!!:-)!!!

[aachria]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH hi how are you!

I was rereading SSSBMTY for like the 10th time and Ive been dying to know that if Robin is really the only one who knows that Ed died somehow because bestie told her- but like did Robin take that seriously?? Did Robin hear “oh yeah I was the only one who died teehee” and took it in a “mental death” or a “physical death” way. If she took it in a mental perspective which I guess makes the most since does Robin realize the implications of Ed “dying” and somewhere in her head is super worried for Ed?

Some people in the story know about the “Buster Call” that TOTALLY (didn’t) happened but we’ve only really seen Robin, Zoro and Nami question it… I guess kinda Law with him comparing a Robin and Ed but not intense questioning. and now that Ed has done their screaming match with Kidd does Kidd and/or Killer have any suspicions of what they actually meant by being so connected to death???

AHHH ED YOUR KILLING ME NO PUN INTENDED?! I like death metaphors if you cannot tell- I want to squeeze you to get this information out.. is everyone just not questioning Ed’s weird background and possible death that they haven’t been super secret about?!?!

I wrote this while having a brain freeze bc of a smoothie

Reading SSSBMTY 10 times is crazy I hope you know that. I love you but I hope you know that.

When they're all on the Tower of Law Robin makes it clear she took it very metaphorical, like she interpreted that as Ed intentionally viewing the person they were before the 'Buster Call' as someone who was dead and gone and not who they were anymore. Honestly I think Robin took that and what Ed said after about them both belonging to the crew as Ed somehow just being better adjusted than her, which is fucking hilarious if you think about it.

I've always had the thought floating around that because Luffy got mad at Nami way back at the beginning when she tried to ask Ed about it she took that as 'no one ever ask Ed anything EVER' and has just instilled that idea whenever they get a new crewmate lmao. Like she sits them down and goes "Ok so Ed is weird and has terrible things in their past but Do Not Ask Questions if you think the dramatic violin music will start playing, ok?" even if that's Not the Case.

That isn't confirmed canon I'm just putting that out there. You gotta wait and see if I write that into the story lmao.

Tbh Zoro doesn't give a shit about whatever happened to Ed because he thinks they've got — if not a good handle on it — at least a decent ability to see help/comfort when they need to. His ass has seen them cope worse with things that actively happen around them then whatever was going on with the 'Buster call,' and is content to leave it alone unless Ed directly asks him for help. (Which is also very funny if you think about Ed's 'if you ask I will tell you EVERYTHING' policy.)

Now with Kid and Killer it's more so they have no idea what is up with this weird little guy but it seems like they've got some, uh, ISSUES with the people around them or they themselves being hurt/killed by someone with a dream and no regard for casualties. Wonder how that will develop if they hear about the 'Buster Call' thing or any other weird rumor they might have accidentally sent floating around.

Overall Ed speaks in weird backwards metaphors enough there's a chance no one has ever taken a single word they've said at face value, so.... yeah.

I hope your brain is ok xoxo

[ratinacoat]

Not like DID is a legitimate diagnosis nowadays, but you do realize that "don't worsen your dissociation, you're still one person" post will cause unfathomable amounts of coping? The only reason people roleplay DID is because they can have their little aesthetic character sheets and play them real time while tweaking each little information about them to, you know, give them the """vibe""". People make stimboards for this shit. They force themselve to dissociate because they are bored and low confidence, the DIDdlers have been running away from themselves for years now.

I mean you could've fooled everyone if you kept it subtle, but now it's just ridiculous, nobody sane wants to take this shit seriously. See anything related to this valid heckin' disorderino, the amount of useless terms, of coping, of "guyyys but do you really think I'm realll I mean I have the paaaper", of constant reminders like "hey we cannot compare trauma, washing dishes is just as valid as the PTSD soldiers get", I won't even mention the animals amd "innerspace" and TikToks, there's just no helping it anymore

YOU ALL ARE A BUNCH OF PUSSIES, START DOING SOMETHING TANGIBLE, GIVE UP THE LARP

DID is a legitimate diagnosis, it is very much a real thing. I do agree a lot of people fake DID but of course not everyone is, and not everyone who isn't is in a space that encourages healthy coping mechanisms. In system spaces when I was younger people faking threw me into a denial spiral until I started repressing everything, which just made things 10× worse. I still have a hard time talking about it knowing people I haven't told about my disorder while hiding everything are following me, but I'm getting out of that.

I post info on the disorder because I have a decent following built from it, and there's not a lot out there. That dissociation post was made after someone asked because they wanted to understand it better, like most of my information posts. Whether it be how actual introjection works, why RAMCOA is a bad term, or why certain things are unhealthy, I like providing information and people enjoy it. Many people do want to take DID seriously, including myself. Seeing people spread misinformation and others fall into that sucks. It feels lonely seeing no one take it seriously.

This does draw in a lot of hate or "coping", as you put it, but I don't care. It just makes me wanna post more information so ignorant people aren't the ones taking over that aspect of system communities. I'd rather talk about how DID works than feed into misinformation just to make the people who spread it happy. I post what I like and I like what I post. Believe me, the hate and "coping" I get doing this information is no where near as bad as explaining things to/debating with flat earthers and creationists lol. I think I'll live.

[respectthepetty]

Color analysis is your big thing around here. Have you always been into colors in shows and movies, or was this new for BL? What are some of your favorite examples of color use from some of your formative works?

@bengiyo, I would like to believe hysteria is my "big thing" but I can see how the colors label would come up every now and then regarding me. I've been seeing you and the smart people squad asking origin questions, so I appreciate the inquiry! However, you already know this is gonna be long, so . . .

Have you always been into colors in shows and movies, or was this new for BL?

When you read the following statements, you can't read them like a tragedy. You have to read them with an air of whimsy because this shit is funny.

My mom thought I was crazy when I was little. Like, thought I needed medication because I kept rambling about seeing patterns in colors. But this wasn't like Care Bears or Strawberry Shortcake kind of colors where each color aligns with a character and emotion. No, this was like I wouldn't eat foods of a certain color or foods served on plates of a certain color because there were good colors (blue, yellow, white), and bad colors (red, green, black), and I got this idea from movies and church. For example, the devil is bad. The devil is red. Therefore, red is bad. Death is bad. Death is black. Therefore, black is bad. Angels are good. They are white. Therefore, white is good.

As a less creepy religious example - If Heather Duke was green because she was envious of the devil aka red Heather Chandler

When Heather Chandler died and Heather Duke took her place as the new queen bee, Heather Duke would naturally start wearing red because she was the new devil, right? Made sense to me!

But my poor mother was stressed. She brought in all of the professionals, and although none of them truly understood what I was saying, they assured my mom I'd grow out of it.

LIES!

I kept seeing patterns, so I was tested when I started school and was promptly placed into the gifted program, where I was shown that green and red weren't necessarily bad. Like when Amélie wore green because her father forced her to live a calm and peaceful life since she was such a rambunctious child.

Only to start wearing more red as she rediscovered her passion for life.

So I remember that pattern of safety and peace versus passion and courage as I'm watching I Feel You Linger in the Air.

What are some of your favorite examples of color use from some of your formative works?

Since I've always noticed colors, nothing really stands out to me as my favorite since it all seems normal to me, so I'm going to flip your question - What was my least favorite example of color use:

The gay(er) one is red.

Remember that I associated red with negativity as a child, so it would really bother me to see the character who knew he was gay and couldn't hide it be colored as red as if he was the mischievous one.

As if the red character was a temptress leading the loyal blue character to hell.

However, using the (coping) mechanisms I learned in school and life, I now see why the characters who can't hide their queerness would have to be more bold, not just in personality, but in color as well.

Their queerness doesn't allow them to hide, and their color depicts this.

How you write about liking characters who "know," I like that the colors reinforce the "knowing."

So "the gay(er) one is red" doesn't bother me at all anymore. I now openly advocate on behalf of these Red Rascals and named them such because much like me telling countless counselors and doctors that the way I see the world comes naturally to me, I understand their refusal to fit into the norm to make others comfortable.

It isn't bad to stand out, mostly because we cannot hide who we are. How we are feels normal.

And the colors helped me see that.